18 minute read
26 Finding happiness
KAYLA PYERS
Finding happiness
Alesha Pyers’ road to happiness was paved with self-sabotage, depression, and ultimately a suicide attempt. Today, however, the 25-year-old beauty’s bubbly personality exudes positivity. She talks to Jonty Dine about how she learned to love herself and rediscover her passion for life.
Alesha was born and bred in Nelson, surrounded by family. “I had a village of people around me,” she says. “I’m really lucky in that sense.” However, an idyllic childhood made way for an emotionally turbulent adolescence. After Alesha started high school, her battle with depression intensified. Her school peer group had a toxic culture of poor mental health, eating disorders and self-harm. “It was all unaddressed. We asked if we could learn how to help our friends, but they said it was too sensitive, so there was a lot that was overlooked.” Because Alesha was not harming herself or engaging in bulimia, she did not consider her struggles with mental health to be relevant. “I was diagnosed with depression at 14 and put on medication, but I never thought mine was so bad.” Alesha says she was given little guidance about her newlyprescribed medications. “They made me feel numb, not good or bad, just numb.” Alesha’s friends would also regularly confide in her, adding extra weight to her shoulders as she carried the weight of their pain. After high school, Alesha enjoyed three gap years before setting her sights on studying in Dunedin.
A keen sportswoman in college, Alesha opted to study neuroscience. However, she would soon sink into a dark place. “I was not in the best place. I hadn’t been for a few years.” Alesha began drinking heavily, taking drugs and having casual sexual encounters. One particularly toxic break-up and a bad bout of strep throat would further emotionally wear her down. The voices in her head and her relationship with drugs and alcohol became more volatile.
“It went from being fun and a good time to an escape from reality.” Alesha was also struggling with concussion symptoms. “I got two concussions playing rugby and a third from slipping in a nightclub, hitting my head twice on a windowsill and the floor.” This added further fog to an already clouded mind. “I was having really bad mood swings, struggling to concentrate and was constantly fatigued. I would be midway through a sentence and just stop, I couldn’t track what the thought was, which was really frustrating.” Alesha says it was during this period that her self-disdain became deafening. “I started to absolutely hate myself, I felt like I was just a piece of shit.” She would then seek validation for these negative beliefs through her vices. “I didn’t have any hope and my morals went out the window. I couldn’t relate to who I was anymore. I just had a complete lack of self-care and really started to feel I’d be better off not in this world.” After feeling suicidal for eight months, Alesha hit her rock bottom with a terrifying thud. “I had a really bad night in town, came home and tried to end my life.” Alesha spent six days in the cardiac ward. “It was pretty awful and quite scary.” However, as she began to sober up, it dawned on her that she did not want to die. This was reinforced when the heart monitor in the adjacent room flatlined. “I had been in and out of consciousness, but when I thought it was my machine I woke up screaming. It was horrific, it became so real.” Alesha opened up to a nurse about her dreams and desire to keep living. “I kept crying about how I want babies. Before that I couldn’t care less if I died or not.” She says the hardest part came when her family arrived at the emergency department. “It was a huge reminder that I can never put them through that again. I was so clouded in this thought that they were better without me being a burden on them.” Alesha moved home to Nelson, obtained a life coach, psychotherapist and began to attend addiction meetings.
Alesha during one of her darkest days in Dunedin Hospital after attempting to take her own life.
Alesha says partying was entrenched in the culture of university life. “Everyone would binge drink and have one-night stands. It wasn’t until my life was on the line from this self-sabotage that I realised I had destructive addictive tendencies.” She says this period was extremely confronting but ultimately reformed the relationship she had with herself. “I now have a deeper understanding of the psychology behind why I was behaving the way I was, and I am extremely proud of how I have mended a part of myself I used to hate.” She also began volunteering at Victory Boxing with sufferers of Parkinson’s Disease. “It saved me in a way, it gave me a purpose. The people were so beautiful and positive.” Alesha’s successes since her darkest day illustrates the potential that could have been lost forever. “I guess a huge part of my new mindset over the past few years has been to learn, learn, learn. I am on a constant mission to keep upskilling personally and professionally.” Since that day, Alesha has run four half marathons, was awarded the Prime Minister’s Scholarship to study supply chain management in India, was named a finalist for the ID International Emerging Designers Awards, completed a bachelor’s degree in fashion design with distinction, completed a certificate in finance management, was invited to work at events for New Zealand
Fashion Week, and is currently studying for a certificate in small business. After focusing on her well-being, Alesha set about pursuing her dream of working in fashion. “It was the best decision ever. I was learning skills I was really interested in.” One of her proudest projects began a year to the day after her suicide attempt. To mark the anniversary, Alesha used a laser cutter to create earrings in the shape of a heartbeat. After posting to social media, she was quickly inundated with offers to buy a pair. What followed was plenty of late nights, up until 3am making hundreds of earrings, the profits of which were all donated to charity. This also led to speaking at events where she shared her story of hope. “It was aimed to spark conversation and I got so many messages from others, which was really motivating.” In 2021, her career reached new heights when she was named a finalist for the ID International Emerging Designers Awards. Her collection addressed some of the issues she faced on her mental health journey. “It was a very healing experience.” Today, Alesha has a seemingly unquenchable thirst for life. “I’d love to have my own fashion label, I really want a family, and I’d love to do more travelling.” Alesha says if she was to talk to her 2015 self, she would simply say to ‘take it easy’. “I put more energy into focusing on how badly I felt than taking small steps to get out.” She says self-hatred is consuming. “I’ve slowed down a lot. I am working on mindfulness and appreciate every small moment of the day.” Alesha now takes time out of her day to stop and appreciate the small things in life. “I take a lot of photos, if I see a pretty leaf, clouds or sunset. It sounds cheesy, but I actively look for the really beautiful things and moments around me.” Alesha says she still has moments where she feels flat but now has the tools to ensure she never gets too low again. “I have rewired my brain. I have dark patches, but I look back at what I have achieved and the amazing people I have in my life, and I am proud of how far I have come.” Alesha says one of the biggest deterrents for young women seeking help is the fear they will be accused of seeking attention. Alesha has helped promote mental well-being through her earrings shaped as the electrical pulse of a heartbeat.
“That’s why I hid it, as I saw a lot of people struggling with that label. It shouldn’t get to the point that someone is gone to realise they were actually sick.” Alesha says a lack of understanding is still prevalent when addressing mental health. “We lost a friend in 2018 and it was so heartbreaking because there were so many opportunities for the system to intervene, people let her down in that way. My family are the most beautiful people, but they found it hard not knowing what to do.” She says everyone’s journey is different. “Just chucking medication on someone or telling them to exercise can be a negative, it’s about balance and finding what’s right for you.” For Alesha, reconnecting with nature played a prominent role in her recovery. “You have to put yourself first. If you don’t go to school for a day or two to take care of yourself, that’s ok. Don’t feel like you have to be struggling through the day. Sometimes it’s just those really small moments of the day, like a beach walk, that can change your whole mindset. There is nothing more important than your wellness.”
WHERE TO GET HELP Ph: 0800 543 354 nmdhb.govt.nz/health-services
The dream team of home-staging
Meeting with Ana Stevenson at her Open Home Ready warehouse, which is reminiscent of a New York loft, you are immediately drawn to a space brimming with her vast collection of home furnishings. The tools of her trade, combined with Ana’s creativity and inspiration, compliment exactly what is needed to sell a home.
Ana and her innovative team bring their wealth of knowledge, experience, and styling vision to help make a home the best it can be.
Each house has its own unique personality, says creative director Ana, and requires its own individual process of mindmapping. "Staging a home is not a cookie-cutter system. I like to walk the space myself. I am a very visual and creative person. From the moment I arrive at a consultation I can envisage how specific furniture and decor will be placed in the area." "Home-staging is about using the space in the most effective way. I take the personality from each house and also give a nod to the era of that home."
Ana says it is her extremely capable and creative team that sets them apart from other companies. Her daughter Mia Weeks, creative director in-waiting, explains that her mother has a certain intuitiveness when it comes to interior design. "It is an innate thing with Ana, like a sixth-sense". Open Home Ready offer a range of services and packages to help get properties into shape for the property market. Operations manager, Zinnia Foster, says that each home-stage is bespoke and has many different variables depending on the client's needs. Multi-talented Tara Gale rounds out the team. “Tara is able to turn her at hand to anything within the process,” says Ana. Brent Ferretti, a recent client, says Ana was able to complement his home perfectly with her creativity. “Ana put that magic touch onto what we had already built. Her finishes complemented our colour schemes brilliantly and she did an absolutely outstanding job.” "We are very passionate about the process," says Ana, "It is the nicest thing to see the difference we have made from the beginning to the end result. We draw the eye away from any faults and bring it through to enhance its strengths." Extremely proud of the business she has built, Ana is fully invested and passionate about delivering perfection, personally overseeing each project. Her background in real estate has given her a huge insight into exactly what it is that sells a home. "We make the whole process seamless with the agents. It takes one phone call to us, and we have the ability to get it all done. Because of my background I understand intrinsically what they want." Real Estate agent Caroline Fletcher has worked with Ana for many years and says vendors have one chance to make a first impression on potential buyers. “The appeal of the home really has to resonate with people and Ana makes that happen. She helps to achieve the very best out of a home while taking the guess work out for buyers. She is a vital cog in our wheel.”
As if her business wasn’t enough to keep her creativity nourished, Ana is also ‘knee-deep’ in a personal project renovating an iconic double-bay villa at 28 Nile St which will be a showcase for ‘Ana Stevenson Stylist’ launching in March, 2022.
Contact Ana to find out how her Open Home Ready team can help. As Ana says, ‘we don’t rent furniture – we sell creativity.”
Open Home Ready openhomeready.co.nz @openhomeready
DANIEL ALLEN
The wind beneath their blades – NBS Rescue Helicopter Appeal lifts off in October
500 lives a year is a reward no money can buy for the Nelson Marlborough Rescue Helicopter Trust and its crew, but saving lives doesn’t come for free.
NBS is firing up this year’s Rescue Helicopter Appeal in October, aiming to give a significant boost to the funding of the $1.2 - 1.5M a-year service. The annual monthlong October appeal is the second appeal run by NBS and part of NBS’ ongoing sponsorship and commitment to the rescue service.
Nelson Marlborough Rescue Helicopter general manager Paula Muddle said the Trust has taken another financial hit this year due to Covid-19, so the NBS Rescue Helicopter Appeal aims to raise as much as possible to make up the half a million dollar shortfall.
“As an essential service, the Nelson Marlborough Rescue Helicopter is a constant, regardless of lockdowns, continuing to save people who find themselves in life-threatening situations around the region,” Paula said. Those who find themselves or a loved one in danger – whether from accidental injury or sickness - will attest to the comfort and relief that the words “the helicopter is on its way” can bring. Then the thud-thud-thud of the blades, the unbelievably strong down drafts, and a human voice and hand reaching out. In difficult situations there could be a winch, a rescuer coming down on a rope out of the sky. There’s always a calm voice and people who know what to do and are trained, just for this. Keeping the helicopter service in the air is vital to the lives and wellbeing of our community. It’s a testament to how we look after each other, that sponsorship, fundraising, and donations contribute 60% of the costs to keep the chopper and its crew in the air – the other 40% comes from the DHB and ACC.
NBS CEO Tony Cadigan said the entire NBS team feels strongly about supporting the Nelson Marlborough Rescue Helicopter Trust. “NBS aims to make a meaningful difference in our community, so being a major sponsor of the Trust and facilitating this annual appeal is clearly aligned to this goal”, Cadigan said. “We are extremely impressed at the expertise and commitment the crew bring to the job, regardless of the situation. It is not a job for the faint-hearted, they are amazing. “The community has always shown fantastic support of the rescue chopper and we hope this year’s appeal is no different.” Paula agrees, saying that the support of the community is “always amazing”, and helped the Trust bounce back after the disruption of last year’s Covid-19 outbreak. “We are incredibly grateful for the community’s support, and in particular for NBS’ ongoing financial assistance. With everyone’s help we bounced back financially after last year’s lockdown, and with more hard work and community support, I am sure we can do it again this year.”
Laura Sixtus
Nelson ICU nurse Lesa Hall knew when her five-year-old son Liam fell off his bike in Golden Bay that he was in a lot of pain, and that she was a long way from specialist care, so she rang 111. “They said they would send an ambulance but then they rang back and said that he sounded like he was in a lot of pain so they would send the helicopter instead.” She says she felt a huge relief when she heard it coming, and that the crew were amazing. “If the helicopter had not been available we would have been looking at a two-hour drive to Nelson, with a very distressed boy in a lot of pain – a horrible experience for everyone. I am just so grateful they were able to help us. The rescue helicopter crew is made up of pilots, crewmen and intensive care flight paramedics. In the year to April 2021 they flew 565 missions. One of them was on Anzac Day, when they plucked Golden Bay farmer Laura Sixtus from a remote hut on the West Coast, following an accident on a quad bike. Laura’s quad bike beach ride with friends turned into a nightmare when the bike she was a passenger on collided with a rock in bad light. She was thrown over the handlebars and had multiple visible injuries – including concussion, a
TIM CUFF
TIM CUFF
John Tame
TIM CUFF
Laura Sixtus
broken arm, hand and nose – but the hidden danger was a potentially fatal perforated bowel, which required emergency surgery when she reached Nelson hospital. “The surgeon was pretty blunt with me and said that if I hadn’t got to surgery when I did it would not have ended well for me. “I’m just so grateful that the helicopter came and that they knew what to do.”
The helicopter crew are all fully paid these days rather than volunteers and are on standby all day every day. They are able to deliver such a high quality life-saving service, using highly specialised equipment, thanks to financial support from the community and their sponsors. In July this year, they were called out to look for a missing tramper in rough country in the Kahurangi National Park. John Tame got lost on an overnight tramp to Boulder Lake Hut and after losing the route and falling from a bluff, found himself alone and hallucinating in rugged country, with dehydration and hypothermia affecting his mental state. Good planning meant he had a rescue beacon with him and the helicopter was able to winch him out of the deep river valley he found himself in. He was lucky to survive the fall and to have enough strength to recognise that he needed to set off the beacon and get help. “This experience has had a lasting impact on me. I was so relieved when I heard the helicopter, and they were able to get to me. I am just grateful that I got out and that they were able to find and save me.”
John was winched to safety and spent three days in Nelson Hospital, but he said his full recovery will take a lot longer. During the appeal in October, kids can get involved with a colouring competition and some great prizes including a chance to meet the rescue crew at the hangar – keep an eye on the NBS Facebook page for more details.
The appeal will run through the month of October, with donations accepted at any NBS branch or online, nbshelicopterappeal.nz
An update on KiwiSaver
The saving scheme has now been around for 14 years and as it has matured there have been some positive changes in recent times that you may not know about.
YOU CAN BUILD YOUR OWN FUNDS There is growing innovation in KiwiSaver. There are providers where you can build your own portfolio using multiple fund managers and direct investments. You would usually need a reasonable amount of funds to make it worthwhile, and professional advice would be an important component if you went down this route.
FEES ARE COMING DOWN AND SOME ARE ZERO There is definitely downward pressure on KiwiSaver fees which overall is a good thing. There are now funds that do not charge any fees at all for managing your KiwiSaver. A bit like anything though, sometimes you get what you pay for, fees are important but not the only consideration for your savings. There is always a balance to be had between cost and the value you get. KiwiSaver funds are no different. There are funds that have low fees but still charge too much for what you get, and there are some very well-run funds that perform better than low cost funds. SOME ETHICAL FUNDS ARE MORE ETHICAL THAN OTHERS We have provided advice on socially responsible KiwiSaver and other funds since 2008. The advances have been great in recent years and there are now some seriously good ethical fund managers. It is still a good idea to get help to look under the bonnet of your provider though, as there are still many marginal calls of what is considered an ethical fund.
Mark Sheehan is an award-winning Certified Financial Planner and Financial Advisor offering impartial advice in Nelson since 2008. Ph 03 548 2752 sheehanfinancial.co.nz
Advice is of a general nature and not intended as personalised advice.
PROMOTION
