St Clair & Erskine Park News April 2020

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ISSUE 48

Lest we forget

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By Dr Richard Miller

I

n this awful age of Coronavirus, it would be remiss of me not to make this article about it and address some concerns pet owners may have about it or about the availability of our services at this time.

Rightly so, we have been deemed as an essential service and remain open as per normal hours. To do our bit in combatting the spread of COVID-19 and for staff and customers alike to stay safe, we do, however, ask that you phone ahead regarding everything to allow us to organise workflow and implement our social distancing practices during your visit, as best we can. This includes anyone who are in quarantine or self-isolating and need our services, we’ll work something out.

We have hand sanitiser, face masks and gloves available for people to use as desired.

We would also ask that a bare minimum of people attend any visits, ideally just one.

In terms of any concerns regarding transmission

of this Coronavirus to pets, and vice versa, the World Small Animal Veterinary Association states “there is currently no evidence that pets can be infected with COVID-19, nor is there evidence that pets might be a source of infection to people with Covid-19”.

Mamre ROAd

Veterinary Surgery Serving the local community

Todd CARNEY East Ward Councillor

Much more information, advice and resources for pet owners regarding COVID-19 can be found on the Australian Veterinary Association website: www.ava.com.au Once again, please just phone us regardless of your needs. Thank you. Richard Miller

Incorporating Puppy Preschool, Cat Boarding Along with a full range of medical, diagnostic and surgical services and facilities

Mamre Rd 9623 3970

Greg DAVIES East Ward Councillor

Phone 0417 762 219 todd.carney@penrith.city

Phone 0419 177 259

Penrith City Council

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Over 100 confirmed cases in the Penrith LGA Table: Confirmed COVID-19 cases in NSW by age group and gender

A

Age group

Female

Male

Total

Percentage of total​

0-9

14

16

30

1​

10-19

48

43

91

3​

20-29

353

281

634

21​

30-39

248

247

495

17​

40-49

160

212

372

12​

50-59

223

220

443

15​

60-69

238

228

466

16

70-79

145

166

311

10​

80-89

46

51

97

3​

90-100

22

15

37

1​

Total

1497

1479​

2976​

100​

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Invitations

Note: Excludes cases notified without a date of birth and/or gender.

t the time of publication, there were 102 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in the Penrith Local Government Area. Ten of those have an unknown source of infection.

There have been over 10,000 tests undertaken across the Nepean Blue Mountains Health District.

The total of positive results within the health district is 150, meaning 48 are within the health district but not in the Penrith LGA, the percentage of cases returning a positive result locally stands at 1.48 per cent.

Residents in the Penrith LGA who are experiencing flu systems are encouraged to get

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Social distancing rules remain in place, and we are not to roam around unless it is for essential business; getting the groceries, medicine, seeking medical attention, working, or exercising.

Signage Stacey

0420 319 893

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anzac DAY 25 APRIL 2020

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Online Tutoring via Skype, Zoom etc is currently available for Primary School, Junior Secondary, Senior Secondary and University Students in English, ESL, Maths, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Senior Science, Environmental Science, Economics, Business Studies, IT, Engineering and Foreign Languages (French, Italian, Spanish, Chinese, Hindi, German etc )

Shops 3 & 4, 398 Hamilton Road, Fairfield West, NSW Po Box W210, Fairfield West, NSW 2165 P (02) 9604 0710 E: Chris.Bowen.Mp@Aph.Gov.Au Authorised by Chris Bowen MP, ALP, Fairfield West.

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enrith Council is giving some great tips for families that combine keeping kids occupied and ensuring they’re getting some fresh air.

“Your garden can offer lots of school holiday fun. Not only is it a great place to run and play, it’s full of craft materials for some super cool projects,” a spokesperson said.

• PAINT SOME ROCKS. Rocks and paint are a match made in heaven.

The only limit is your imagination!

A top tip is to give your rocks a base colour first. Allow this to dry before adding your design. Pre-prepare rocks for younger kids, but let older kids lay

the foundations themselves. You can use paint brushes or, for fine dot work, grab a chopstick, skewer or stick.

• CREATE NATURAL ANIMAL CRAFT. Who needs to visit the craft shop? Find some leaves, bark and flowers to create a garden scene, or a creature from your imagination. Glue your bits and pieces onto a paper plate, or better yet, a colourful piece of card to really make them pop.

• PUT TOGETHER A FLOWER WREATH. Get creative and make yourself a pretty flower wreath or necklace. Plants like jasmine make a great starting point for a wreath.

Twist together into a circle, then add in flowers and interesting leaves.

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Devastating spike at aged care facility in Caddens

By KeRRIE DAVIES

T

he Coronavirus outbreak at Anglicare Newmarch House at Caddens had skyrocketed.

At the time of publication, four residents have passed away, and 29 residents tested positive as well as 15 staff.

Anglicare released a statement mid week regarding the spike in cases.

“Anglicare has been working closely with the Commonwealth Health Department to manage the COVID-19 situation at Newmarch House, “The impact of COVID-19 on Newmarch House has caused significant challenges as we work together to control the spread of the virus,” said Grant Millard, CEO of Anglicare Sydney.

“We are grateful the Commonwealth Government has been working closely with us to find the best staff across the sector to provide us with the high levels of care all our residents have come to expect under normal circumstances.

“The Commonwealth has also provided us reassurance that whatever personal protective equipment (PPE) we need at Newmarch will be supplied. Our staff, residents and their families are grateful for this.

“We will talk to those families who have raised their concerns and we will invite family representatives to a conference with us and the Commonwealth Health Department tomorrow to make sure their concerns are answered.

“This has been a terrible situation for us and I want to thank those who are thinking of us and

praying for us. It means a lot to our residents, their families, and our staff. We are working hard to contain this virus and provide our residents with the care they have been used to and deserve.”

A Nepean Blue Mountains Local Health District spokesperson said the aged care facility was receiving support from NSW Health.

“During the current pandemic, as with other illness outbreaks in Aged Care Facilities, NSW Health provides health-related services and support,” the spokesperson said.

“This support involves medical intervention, testing, advice and contact tracing however, it would not extend to daily living tasks provided by aged care

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workers which Aged Care Facilities would arrange.

“A specialist team of doctors and nurses provide medical reviews and medical intervention is delivered face-to-face through the ‘Hospital in the Home’ program; and specialist geriatric care is delivered using telehealth through the ‘Virtual Aged Care Service’.

“Nepean Blue Mountains Local Health District Public Health team works to identify the source and spread of transmission through contact tracing and ensure staff and residents are re-tested regularly.

“Nepean Hospital’s Infection Control Service is currently providing support to Newmarch House around the facility’s infection control procedures.”

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By KeRRIE DAVIES

T

he current situation we find ourselves in is like nothing we’ve ever seen before.

With the majority of the news cycle focusing on the pandemic, it can be a scary time for adults so imagine how frightening it all sounds to a child.

Mulgoa MP Tanya Davies said it is important to keep a check on the mental health of children during these unprecedented times.

“With changes to school, not being able to see family and friends or not being able to play sport at the park, this time can be unsettling for children.

It is important to be checking in with your children about their mental health during this time,” Mrs Davies said.

Here are some fantastic resources to help you have conversations about mental health with your children: ✓ Kids Helpline offers 24/7 online webchats, email or phone counselling. Call 1800 55 1800 or visit www.kidshelpline.com.au ✓ Beyond Blue has online COVID-19 mental wellbeing support to help you and your children during this time. Call 1800 512 348 or visit coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au ✓ Emerging Minds offers videos, factsheets and tips to talk about COVID-19 and managing this

difficult time. Visit www.emergingminds.com.au Mrs Davies also said in order to stop the spread of COVID-19 it was really important to know the symptoms.

“This table gives an overview of symptoms for COVID-19, the Cold and the Flu, so we are properly equipped to know what to look for,” Mrs Davies said.

7 St Clair & Erskine Park News April 2020 Issue 48

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Two brushes a day to keep the dentist away

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ood dental hygiene might not be in the front of your mind in the middle of a pandemic, but with many dental practices closed, it’s more important than ever to avoid potential damage and decay.

Dental officer Dr Michelle McNab said prevention is always the best way to care for your teeth and gums.

“Keeping up with regular brushing, flossing and maintaining a healthy diet will all contribute to better oral health,” Dr McNab said.

“I understand the temptation to reach for comfort foods like chocolate and soft drink at a time like this but try to keep these to a minimum as too much sugar and acid will do damage.

“This is especially important in a time when that extra support from your local dentist may not be readily available.”

The Western Sydney Local Health District (WSLHD) Oral Health Team is offering remote ‘teledentistry’ appointments and digital patient data transfer for eligible patients.

This allows patients to securely send through medication lists and photographs of their oral health condition to better assist our clinicians in diagnosing and providing treatment and advice.

Dr McNab said the small things

can make a big difference and offered these tips to uphold good oral hygiene.

• Brush twice a day – use a soft toothbrush and fluoride toothpaste and brush twice a day for 2 minutes.

Leaving the toothpaste on after brushing and not rinsing immediately will allow the fluoride in the paste more time to strengthen and protect your teeth.

• Keep an eye on your diet – during this time a lot of people will be eating more regularly and may be eating comfort foods with high sugar

content. Snacking frequently on these foods between meals can increase our chance of tooth decay. Try having healthy snacks between meals, or chew on some sugar-free gum.

• Sugar sweetened beverages such as soft drinks, cordials, energy drinks and even fruit juices should be kept as occasional treats. The best drink choice for your mouth and general health is water, preferably from the tap if it is available.

If you are suspected of having or have been diagnosed with COVID-19

and have a dental problem, you must call your dentist first to talk about your options.

This may include providing treatment options over the phone, including organising a prescription for antibiotics or pain relief that can be sent straight to your local pharmacy.

For a dental emergency you may be referred to your local hospital for further screening and treatment.

For more information on public dental services visit health.nsw.gov. au/oralhealth.

No spike in domestic violence for March

D

omestic violence assaults recorded by police did not increase in March 2020. This is despite social distancing measures commencing halfway through that month.

Concerns have been raised that social isolation strategies implemented to address the COVID-19 pandemic may inadvertently increase the incidence of domestic violence.

The Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research have compiled preliminary statistics to monitor any early signs of increase in domestic violence.

Domestic violence assaults reported to or detected by NSW Police in March 2020 were consistent with those from same period in 2019 (2,678 in March 2020 versus 2,632 in March 2019).

It is possible that domestic violence increased in March 2020 but victims were unable to report due to home confinement with their perpetrator.

While murder and grievous bodily harm are infrequent they are serious enough that we expect they will come to police attention regardless of victim willingness to report. Neither of these offences rose in March 2020.

Commenting on the findings, Jackie

Fitzgerald, Executive Director at the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research noted that the statistics only capture the first two weeks of social distancing measures. “These data reflect the early days of social isolation measures and the situation could well change as time goes on.

We will continue to closely monitor changes in domestic violence through a range of data sources.”

Sms delivers faster covid-19 results

I

n a NSW first, patients can opt-in to receive their COVID-19 pathology results via text message.

NSW Health Pathology’s secure automated SMS solution will see the average notification period for results halved, plus ease the pressure on busy hospital and laboratory staff.

Premier Gladys Berejiklian said more than 142,000 people had been tested and cleared, making it one of the highest testing rates in the world, and helping to stop the spread of the virus.

“We are able to test 5,000 (this has since been updated to 8,000) patients per day, and while testing for COVID-19 only takes 6 to 8 hours from arrival of the sample at one of our specialist labs, the sheer volume has meant we haven’t been able to get results to patients quickly,” Ms Berejiklian said.

“Using our new statewide SMS notification solution, patients who register will receive an automated SMS test result within six hours of the

completion of the laboratory test.”

Minister for Customer Service Victor Dominello said the new service puts the patient first, reducing anxiety as quickly as possible and making life easier for them. “Testing clinics are receiving thousands of calls from patients enquiring about their test results, which also puts increasing pressure on the health system,” Mr Dominello said.

“By opting in to receive a text, patients can be informed of a negative result faster.” Health Minister Brad Hazzard said both patients and medical professionals would benefit.

“This text indicating a negative result gives patients peace of mind and allows clinicians to dedicate more time to assisting patients who test positive,” Mr Hazzard said.

A statewide roll-out of this service in the coming weeks follows a successful pilot in the Illawarra Shoalhaven Local Health Districts and Wollongong, Shellharbour and Shoalhaven Fever Clinics.

The SMS notification system will integrate with existing statewide security and other support infrastructure to ensure patient privacy and data integrity is maintained.

The service is only available to patients who are tested at a NSW public hospital or Fever Clinic. It is not available for patients tested by private pathology providers, however they can still access their result through their GP and in some instances My Health Record. Patients who test positive for the virus will still have their results reported immediately to their referring doctor and public health unit.

The initiative was developed in collaboration with Amazon Web Services, Deloitte Australia and Microsoft. An enhanced Service NSW app is also being built that will provide customers with real-time updates on COVID-19 and more personalised health and non-health advice.

For the latest information on COVID-19 visit www.nsw.gov.au

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Free preschool for up to six months

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arents in NSW will not have to pay preschool fees for up to six months thanks to a $51 million funding package announced by the NSW Government.

The NSW Government has also committed up to $82 million to support 260 council childcare centres who are not eligible for the JobKeeper payments.

Premier Gladys Berejiklian said preschools and early childhood educators are vital to the community, and it is important parents continue to have access to childcare during the COVID-19 pandemic.

“Parents are under a lot of pressure at the moment and it’s crucial for them to continue to have access to childcare, particularly those working on the frontline during this crisis,” Ms Berejiklian said.

“This will also provide funding certainty during an unpredictable time, ensuring preschool teachers and educators can be confident they will remain employed.

“This will provide financial relief to families during the pandemic and ensure childcare centres remain viable into the future.”

The funding will be available to 700 State-funded community preschools and 38 mobile services that provide care to 45,000 three to five year olds.

Treasurer Dominic Perrottet said the recently announced Working for NSW Fund would contribute towards the state’s community preschools.

“This fund was set up to keep

people in jobs and by supporting the sector, we’re ensuring the future of these early childhood services beyond this health crisis.

“It will also ease cost-of-living pressures on families in these tough times.”

Minister for Education and Early Childhood Learning Sarah Mitchell said the funding means community

preschools and council childcare centres would be required to remain open, unless they are closed on health advice.

“Preschools and council childcare centres will now have the peace of mind that they will be financially viable, and parents will benefit from the relief of not having to pay any fees,” Ms Mitchell said.

“Families and children can now also be assured that their preschool service will continue to operate, providing some familiarity for them during these trying times.”

This funding is on top of the NSW Government’s commitment to maintain Start Strong funding for preschools based on service enrolments before COVID-19.

Slashed licence fees a help for businesses

U

p to 200,000 licence holders operating across the trades and construction sectors will not have to pay up to $50 million worth of licence fees, thanks to the NSW Government.

Premier Gladys Berejiklian, Minister for Customer Service Victor Dominello and Minister for Finance and Small Business Damien Tudehope said the licence fee waivers were a crucial part of the NSW Government’s first economic stimulus package.

“These fee waivers will deliver much-needed relief for small businesses, at a time when cash flow is crucial,” Ms Berejiklian said.

“Up to 200,000 licence holders will benefit from this fee relief package over the next 12 months. It is the least we can do to support these businesses and their staff through this challenging time.”

The measures will deliver close to $50 million worth of fee waivers to tradies for 12 months. Mr Dominello said the measures would help businesses during one of the hardest economic challenges in our lifetime.

“These measures put business and workers first so they can continue to be the lifeblood for their communities across the State,” Mr Dominello said.

“We’re going to help them withstand

this storm, so they can hit the ground running later.” Mr Tudehope said the NSW Government was focused on keeping businesses in business and as many people as possible in jobs.

“Our number one priority is the health and safety of the community, but this is a dual challenge and we need to do everything we can to ensure the NSW economy emerges with a strong beating heart,” Mr Tudehope said.

“Whether it’s a local café, restaurant, indoor sporting venue, gym or club, we want to ensure they have every chance to continue to support our communities. While it seems a long way off now this will pass and we don’t want any road blocks for people.”

This announcement follows the first set of fee waivers which have started to come into effect, including $19.5 million in state-based fee relief for industries. It gives eligible businesses in the entertainment and hospitality sectors access to a 12-month waiver on liquor licences and certain SafeWork NSW and NSW Fair Trading fees and charges. To date, the NSW Government has provided more than $8 billion in response to COVID-19 to support the NSW healthcare system and keep people in jobs. For more information visit www.nsw.gov.au.

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Students to transition back to the classroom

By KeRRIE DAVIES

N

SW school students will gradually transition back to the classroom during Term 2 as the Government continues to deal with the COVID-19 pandemic.

Premier Gladys Berejiklian and Minister for Education and Early Childhood Learning Sarah Mitchell outlined the plan for students attending NSW public schools to progressively return to face-to-face learning in week three of Term 2.

Ms Berejiklian said health advice continues to be that schools remain open, and parents, teachers and students can be confident that school is safe place.

“We are grateful to all families who kept their children home from school at the end of Term 1 and to teachers who worked tirelessly to deliver education online,” Ms Berejiklian said.

“This allowed us critical time to prepare our schools to develop better online learning options and for considering additional hygiene measures to allow schools to return.

“We know that nothing is more important than a child’s education, and we must begin to return our students to their classrooms in a considered way.

“Under these changes, from week three of Term 2, every student will be attending school for one day a week.

“We will look to increase the number of days students are at school in a staged way and hope to have all children back at school full-time by Term 3.

“I’d like to thank the Catholic and Independent schools for working with the NSW Government at this time, as well as staff, including teachers, principals and cleaners, for working so hard to prepare for a resumption of school.

“I’d also like to thank parents for what has been a tough month, often

Terrible tragedy Nepean Police Area Command in Penrith have their flags at half mast in the wake of the devastating tragedy in Victoria that resulted in the death of four of their police colleagues whilst on duty.

“Our thoughts are with our brothers and sisters in blue in Victoria. This is extremely devastating to the families of the officers who have lost their lives,” a Police Spokesperson said.

juggling working from home and caring for children. We hope the partial resumption of on campus learning will provide some much needed relief to those families.”

During the first stage of on-campus learning, parents will be encouraged to keep their children home except on their allocated day of face-to-face learning. Initially, about a quarter of a school’s students are expected to be on site at any one time. The specific days students will be required to attend school each week will vary from school to school and will be clearly communicated to parents.

Classes will be split across schools, allowing schools to appropriately social distance students and teachers.

As always, schools will remain open for students who need them and no child will be turned away from school.

Ms Mitchell said careful consideration had been given to support the school community, providing clarity and certainty on the path forward.

“This plan provides a clear path that

balances community concerns with a need to deliver continuity of quality education,” Ms Mitchell said.

“Hand sanitiser will be available in all classrooms and provisions are in place for at-risk teachers to work from home. Drop off, pick up, recess and lunchtimes will also be staggered to ensure social distancing.”

In addition to the staged return to school, the NSW Government has committed up to $95.7 million to help keep casual and temporary school staff engaged in active work during the COVID-19 pandemic.

“Our casual and temporary teachers and other non-teaching staff across NSW schools are critical to our education system, and will help ensure the educational outcomes for our students during this staged return,” Ms Mitchell said.

A cross-sector working group of teachers will also be established to report back to the Minister on recent innovations and educational developments assembled during the COVID-19 period that are suitable to support future educational delivery.

“It’s important that we have an inventory of the cutting edge teaching solutions and recognise the best efforts of our amazing NSW teachers during a difficult time,” Ms Mitchell said.

Teachers will have an additional day to prepare for Term 2 on Tuesday 28 April making the first day of term for students Wednesday 29 April.

Shadow Minister for Education, Londonderry MP Prue Car said the government’s messages over the last few weeks had been confusing for parents and teachers and said more clarity was needed.

“We all know that we have to get our children safely back in front of their teachers so they can get the quality education they deserve,” Ms Car said.

“But instead of providing clear direction, the Premier has put the pressure on school principals and teachers to work out how they will get through this logistical nightmare.

“Confusion has been the hallmark of this Government when it comes to the education response to COVID-19.”

Online meeting for families of Newmarch House residents Lindsay MP Melissa McIntosh said the families of those in the aged care facility that has had a Coronavirus outbreak have taken part in a meeting with officials held online.

“Tonight I represented the Minister for Aged Care on the first online meeting for the families of Newmarch House residents,” Ms McIntosh said.

“Families heard from Anglicare, Nepean Hospital and the Commonwealth about the care being

provided to residents in the facility.

“This included the Commonwealth’s assistance to provide additional nursing and care staff to address the major shortage due to Newmarch staff having contracted Coronavirus.

“The Commonwealth is also providing support through a specialist management team who have expertise in infectious disease outbreaks in aged care facilities. This will help Anglicare manage through this difficult time.”

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anzac TRIBUTE We can still pay tribute on ANZAC Day

By KeRRIE DAVIES

O

ne of the saddest things about the year 2020 (a year sure to go down in history) is the lost opportunity to gather in the masses and pay our respects on ANZAC Day. Many, myself included, think of this is our most important day of the year as an Australian.

But now we do have the chance on April 25 to honour those who sacrificed all for our country, as well as salute those still serving, just in a different way to that in which we are used to.

St Marys sub-Branch have videoed a ‘pseudo’ ANZAC Service which will be available on their St Marys RSL sub-Branch facebook (https://www. facebook.com/stmaryssubbranch/) from before dawn on Saturday 25th April, presenting a traditional

ANZAC Commemorative Service, with a single wreath laid on behalf of every individual watching.

“As you are aware, there will be no ‘live’ ANZAC Services this Dawn (or any other time of the day). However,

we appreciate that many in our local community (and not just ex-Service personnel) will regret having no Dawn Service where they can go to commemorate those gave their lives in combat or sustained injuries

ST MARYS RSL SUB-BRANCH Returned and Services League of Australia

ANZAC DAY NOTICE All live ANZAC Day Services are now cancelled due to the health situation, however …

St Marys RSL Sub-Branch Facebook page (www.facebook.com/stmaryssubbranch) will screen a recorded ANZAC Service from early morning, Saturday 25th April.

You are invited to individually, remotely join us in ‘attending’ our local ANZAC Day Service at your home at a time to suit you.

LEST WE FORGET Please Note: Previously advertised dates to sell ANZAC-related badges at local Bunnings stores are now cancelled

which have impacted them in their subsequent lives,” said Tony Fryer.

Attending or participating in an ANZAC Dawn Service has been an important annual part of the lives of many. It gives the opportunity to say ‘thanks’ or to reflect on the loss of a mate or someone dear.

“At St Marys RSL sub-Branch we have done what we can to alleviate that situation – thus the brief video,” Tony said.

“In this way, we invite all in our wider community to venture out to their driveway at 6.00am on ANZAC Day to remotely join in the Service by simply going to our facebook page … listening to a deeply-moving poem, standing respectfully for the Last Post; even joining in the singing of our National Anthem. If the driveway appearance at 6.00am is not achievable, the facebook ANZAC Service will be available whenever and wherever you may be.”

LEST WE FORGET

anzac TRIBUTE ANZAC DAY 2O2O POEM

By TOMAS (PADDY) HAMILTON

For many years i rose at dawn, to honour our gallant dead Those who left our nation’s shores, oblivious to what lay ahead But this year i must stand alone and face a deadly scourge I cannot join my comrades, no matter what the urge Through the curse of nature, we can’t gather as a crowd And signs of close affection, cannot be allowed It came from far across the sea, there was little we could do Despite boundaries and borders, it managed to seep through

It took the sick and elderly and some still in their prime And all the cures of the past, did not work this time For one fact man has never learned, along the research track How to fight blindfolded, with one arm behind your back We all had witnessed terror, in peacetime and in war Some of our brave medics, had seen it all before There were so many reasons and theories did abound United with one pupose, a solution must be found I bow my head and say a prayer and recall that sacred vow As i feel the autumn chill, crisp upon my brow I listen to the whispering breeze and turn to briefly see The ghosts of all our fallen, standing there with me

They shall grow not old, As we that are left grow old; Age shall not weary them, Nor the years condemn; At the going down of the sun And in the morning WE WILL REMEMBER THEM. LEST WE FORGET

St Clair & Erskine Park News April 2020 Issue 48

The Ode

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ENTERTAINMENT

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JOKES St Clair Erskine Park

Satnav .....by Pam Ayres

I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car A Satnav is a driver’s friend, It tells you where you are.

I have a little Satnav, I’ve had it all my life It’s better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, Especially how to drive “It’s sixty miles an hour”, it says, “You’re doing sixty five”.

It tells me when to stop and start, And when to use the brake And tells me that it’s never ever, Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red, And when it goes to green It seems to know instinctively, Just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front, And all those to the rear And taking this into account, It specifies my gear.

I’m sure no other driver, Has so helpful a device For when we leave and lock the car, It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling, Each journey’s pretty fraught So why don’t I exchange it, And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, Makes sure I’m properly fed It washes all my shirts and things, And keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages, And my tendency to scoff, I only wish that now and then, I could turn the begger off.

A man in a taxi cab taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the pavement before stopping just inches from a lamppost.

After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says “I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!”

“Sorry. I didn’t realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much,” the passenger says.

“It’s not your fault,” replies the cabbie. “Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse.”

Short n sweet A woman in labour suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t!

Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and ... cola.”

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

The world has flipped upside down.

Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors.

“It’s for your own good!”

on the

PENRITH PANTHERS

mark

SPORT

with MARK GEYER

The family that isolates together trains together

 My pop Keith Culpan who served in WWII

F

15 St Clair & Erskine Park News April 2020 Issue 48

& News

St Clair Erskine Park

 The Geyer clan implementing Raff’s great idea

irst things first, how are you all?

Wow is a word lots are uttering daily and with good reason.

This pandemic is real and came with a thud. But let’s keep working together to rid this horrid virus from our country once and for all. There are 7 of us in lock down in my ‘compound’ at South Penrith.

Raff, our youngest came up with a novel way to pass the time whilst all together in isolation. She reasoned that ‘because there are 7 of us, and there are 7 days in the week why don’t we get our own day to organise everything from breakfast, lunch, dinner, training, games to play and what movie we should watch.”

Great idea.

So every Sunday night we put all of our names in a hat and all the days of the week in another hat, pull out a name and a day and that’s ‘your day’.

It has seen us all stretch our imagination and has seen the likes of colouring in, handball, basketball and other various games that we haven’t played in ages.

Obviously it’s harder for our kids than it is for Meags (my wife) and I,

especially my daughter Kennedi who celebrated her 21st birthday last Wednesday.

But we have something very special planned for her this Saturday, which will blow her mind!

We have never experienced anything like this in our lives and let’s hope we never do again, but as soon as we resign yourselves to the fact that we must all be in this together and self isolate and keep up with our social distancing, the sooner things will be back to some sort of normality.

Finally I’d like to acknowledge the contribution of all of our service men and women this ANZAC Day as we commemorate one of the more special days on our calendar.

Stay safe, and love the ones you’re with.

Lest We Forget.

MG (random Westie) OAM

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