LIBERATION-James

For me, growing up questioning your sexuality in a dense minority populated neighborhood such as East Harlem in the 90’s & early 2000’s; one did their best at staying under the radar You tend to develop a sense of street smarts to dress the part and not out yourself in a time where being LGBTQ+ wasn’t as openly accepted Over the years things had progressed to a point where we were more openly accepted in society and in media I felt more comfortable being myself, so much so, in my early 20’s I had a point where I experimented with dressing in drag while working at a popular nightclub

Flash forward, the current climate surrounding the LGBTQ+ community has shifted again to where we often have to question our safety solely based on someone else's biases It’s safe to say that it taps into fears and emotions that I have not visited since growing up Adhering to societal gender norms, back to dressing in a masculine presenting manner just became a habit, a self defense mechanism that I was able to fall back into

So when planning to go to Ezoo this year, a popular NYC music festival, I knew I had to get an outfit together. I went shopping. But oddly enough I found myself in the women's dept finding all the pieces I needed to pull my look together. OK, so the day of it’s time to get dressed and the entire time I wondered if I had made a mistake in picking an outfit that leaned more to the feminine side Was it too cunty? Are people going to stare? But most importantly, Will I be SAFE?

I put my outfit on, head high and headed out to my event. Putting all my hesitations and doubts aside, wearing whatever the hell I wanted and not plan based on what was socially accepted. To be in the moment enjoying myself like everyone else was, for me was a liberating feeling Yes, people in my neighborhood looked, but a week later I was approached and told how good I looked and was asked where I was headed

Moral of the story is it’s ok for people to look and stare. Some of the restrictions and fears we put on ourselves are just that, self-imposed. Living life to your standards can be a liberating feeling.