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The Nevada State Railroad Museum gets back on track after a damaging flood

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MAY 26T H

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E N J O Y B A N D S AT T H E G R E AT B A S I N S TA G E 7 : 3 0 - 1 0 P M ARNOLD MITCHEM

It Has a Recycling Symbol. Why Can’t I Put it in Single Stream?

By Kendra Kostelecky

S

ome items like plastic grocery bags imprinted with recycling arrows leave eager recyclers scratching their heads.

The same is true of polystyrene trays and packaging material. Even if an item is recyclable, it may need special handling beyond single stream.

Film plastics like your grocery bags can, in fact, be recycled into new plastic bags.

Many grocery stores have collection barrels near the entrance to collect used bags for recycling. In your curbside recycling cart, those bags become “contamination”. The flimsy plastic can bring a single stream sorting facility to a screeching halt when it wraps around the equipment used to separate material.

wise, the best disposal solution is to put it in the green lidded trash cart.

What should you do if you don’t know if an item belongs in single stream? Check the decal on the lid of your recycling container, and when in doubt, throw it out.

Putting items that can’t be recycled in your single stream cart contributes to greenhouse gases. That’s because nonrecyclables will be transported to a sorting facility in Sacramento, California, processed, then transported again to a landfill anyway.

Learn more about reducing contamination at WashoeCounty.WM.com or send your recycling questions to: RenoRecycling@WM.com

In this age of online shopping, you may find yourself with a stockpile of polystyrene “peanuts” used in shipping. This material requires special recycling not provided in curbside collection. Many mail/ shipping companies will reuse clean foam packaging if you take it to them. Other-

PaId advERTISEMEnT

EMail lEttERS to RENolEttERS@NEwSREviEw.CoM.

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Don’t tell, don’t ask Welcome to this week’s Reno News & Review.

I learned about something recently. (And, no, it doesn’t have anything to do with the bizarre, ongoing horrors in the White House.) This is an issue of—I don’t know—etiquette?

Polite behavior? It’s also a tale of how easy it is to be encased in one’s own bubble.

I like to think of myself as a pretty wellversed student of human behavior, but I recently learned about a social phenomenon that’s apparently very commonplace, but somehow I made it more than three-and-a-half decades on Earth without ever noticing—and that is: men telling women to smile.

I had no idea that this was a thing.

It would never occur to me to walk up to a woman and say something like, “You should smile more” or “You’d look a lot prettier if you’d smile.” And no one ever walks up to men and says that kind of thing—especially not hairy-faced dudes who already rock some sort of perpetual grin. So this was not a social interaction I had ever been part of—I was totally oblivious.

But I noticed a couple of my female friends make reference to this behavior on social media, and then I asked a few more women about it, and they all said, “Oh, yeah. All the time,” and looked at me askance, as if I’d just asked whether or not a horse was a real animal.

And so, to all you lunkheads who somehow think that this behavior is acceptable, no woman likes it. I’m putting you all on blast. Cut that shit out.

Honestly, I don’t even understand the motivation. I mean, I realize that, as a straight man, when a woman smiles at you, it activates the reward centers in your brain, but doesn’t that lose all meaning if you’ve demanded the smile? How could it still feel good if even as her lips curl up, her eyes continue glaring at you with deep, unhappy irritation?

Next time, try saying something funny—something actually funny, not some snide remark at her expense—or, even better, doing something nice. Earn it. Don’t demand it.

—Brad Bynum bradb@ ne ws r ev i ew . com

Course outline Bye-bye, Donald.

Reasons to impeach: A. Obstruction of Justice B. Treason C. Incompetence D. Insanity E. Face is too orange F. All of the above Projected impeachment date: Sept. 17, ’17 Come on, everybody! Get involved! Join in! It’s fun for the whole family!

Mark Murray Reno

Champion Re “Protection for sex workers” (Let Freedom Ring, April 27): Brendan T., in his perpetual obsession with street prostitutes, now pretends he’s actually interested in “protecting” them. Now, riddle me this, Batman: the vast, vast majority of sex workers in America would prefer to be doing something other than having sex with skanky old men for cash but can’t make a living wage in other occupations.

Meanwhile, Brendan, ever the self appointed “champion” of libertarian ideals, has repeatedly argued in your paper against increases in minimum wage laws—laws which, if enacted, would make it possible for many thousands of current sex workers to leave “The Profession.” The putrescent smell of cognitive dissonance mixed with a heavy dose of misogyny is both overpowering and disgusting. Hypocrite much?

Chris Rosamond Reno

Green and passing Re “Legislators eye making passing lanes mandatory” (news, April 6): I am one of the “roadhogs” you mentioned in your article about the passing

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lane. I feel the article is unfair. Most of my commute from the North Valleys is two-lane.

In the right lane are truckers, RVs, jalopies, senior citizens, cellphone “multitaskers” and people driving slowly for other reasons, such as being high, illucid, etc. This lane goes about 50 mph. In the left lane is me, going about 70 mph, leading a parade of tailgaters honking at me and beaming bright lights into my cabin. What you are asking me to do is go 50 so others can break the law, and you are saying that their commute takes priority over mine and must be presumed to be an emergency because they are driving faster.

You are also asking me to risk my life by moving over since the person behind me will likely pass me on the right at the earliest chance. We “roadhogs” do not hog the left lane because we take it upon ourselves to force everyone to comply with the speed limit. We just want to get where we are going without getting a ticket, or being late because we were staring at the back of a school bus to accommodate your supposed emergency that requires you to drive 90 miles an hour.

By the way, didn’t you promise to bring back the Green column at some point? I notice you have a whole new section to promote dispensaries but still can’t find the paper for the only portion of your paper that used to be entirely devoted to science. Where are your priorities?

Gary Gould Reno Editor’s note: In August, we said “we’ve had to drop our weekly Green column—at least temporarily.” That made it clear that the decision on whether to halt the column was temporary or permanent was not yet made. It still is not. In the meantime, our green coverage has been incorporated into the news section and some cover stories.

Suppose someone in that “parade of tailgaters” honking at you really is an emergency—a parent or a spouse rushing a child or a partner to a hospital, say? Keeping

Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Manager/Operations Coordinator Kelly Miller Distribution Assistant and Driver Marty Lane Distribution Drivers Adam Martinez, Alex Barskyy, Bob Christensen, Debbie Frenzi, Gary White, Marty Troye, Paola Tarr, Patrick L’Angelle, Rosie Martinez, Timothy Fisher, Tracy Breeden, Vicki Jewell President/CEO Jeff VonKaenel Director of Nuts & Bolts Deborah Redmond Executive Coordinator Carlyn Asuncion Project Coordinator Natasha VonKaenel Director of People & Culture David Stogner

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the left lane clear except to pass protects them, and keeps it clear for you to pass in.

Hardball letter The legislature is back in session, and it is hilarious. Some of them are like Houdini, writhing free of the restraints of duty to address only softball issues. One man stands out, however. Tick Segerblom—I never met a tax I didn’t like—is the epitome of an honest politician. Not many politicians call themselves after a blood-sucking parasite.

Stephen Bloyd Carson City

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05.18.17 | RN&R | 3

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By JERI CHADWELL-SINGLEY

The last time you rode a train? asked aT sierra Tap house, 253 W. FirsT sT. James Fisher Landscape contractor

I did the Polar Express—December. So what is that? Five months ago. I took my two kids. For the kids, it was a lot of fun.

Lucas cL ark Landscape contractor

I honestly can’t remember the last time I rode a train, other than the small train in Idlewild Park. That doesn’t count. I haven’t been on a train since I was a little kid. I’m always around trains. I lived next to the tracks out in Verdi. … I’ve been talking about how I want to do the Amtrak to San Francisco.

Joyce Timpson Retiree

Everyone knows it’s a charade Eight years ago when we ran a cover story about Sales Tax Anticipated Revenue (STAR) bonds (“Death STAR,” April 23, 2009), local business owner Marty Piccinini told us we were too late, that the law had been enacted years earlier, and he had tried to get journalists interested then without success. “I objected, and nobody wanted to listen,” Piccinini said.

Here’s the way STAR bonds work: If a businessperson convinces a local governing body his or her business will draw tourists to Nevada, the company can keep three fourths of the sales taxes it generates. That’s the deal Cabela’s in Reno and Scheels in Sparks got. Local governments brought the two corporations to the valley after they presented “studies” showing they could bring tourists to Nevada. They don’t really have to actually bring tourists.

They just have to cook up studies saying they will. When the tourists fail to come, the corporation still gets to keep the money.

Let’s face it. No one really believed tourists would come to see these stores. And as anyone who has walked through their parking lots counting license plates knows, it didn’t happen. But officials wanted to be deceived, so they read the studies, nodded solemnly, and voted for the deals.

If any children are reading this, keep this in mind for when you grow up, that lies are common currency in business. In a tourist town, elected officials went out of their way to be lied to, and said they believed the sham studies.

There is no remedy for this, by the way. The Nevada Legislature carefully wrote the law to avoid accountability.

When tourists fail to come, nothing happens. The corporations still walk away with other people’s money.

In this past week, another journalist has reported on a variant on this cockamamie scam. Anjeanette Damon reported that through a Tourism Improvement District, Apple Computers will get an abatement of nearly all its sales taxes, even though the corporation’s planned facilities will do nothing for tourism. That’s when she mentioned the way those “studies” don’t have to be valid. Just run them under the eyes of the elected officials, hungry to be lied to, and you’re home free. We’re not clear how the law allows abatement of more than three fourths of the sales tax, but it probably doesn’t matter. In for a dime, in for a dollar.

People have been counting license plates in Cabela’s stores around the country for years. Never have the taxpayers anywhere gotten their money’s worth for this kind of sanity-challenged fraud. But it keeps working in market after market. Cabela’s would not exist without welfare.

In spite of the fact that Bob Cashell, Geno Martini and their colleagues on the city councils did their best to drive Marty Piccinini out of business by paying big box stores to come to the valley, he has hung on, kept his Mark Fore & Strike Sporting Goods in business against the corporate eyesores. Last month, Northern Nevada Business Weekly did a story on MF&S’s first half century. We wish Piccinini and his operation well and we also wish his most recent years had not been so tough.

We’re also sorry that taxpayers have it so hard, thanks to these shakedowns. Ω

I haven’t ridden on a train for probably 60 years. I was going from Salt Lake City to Denver to visit my grandmother.

amanda TayLor Assistant manager

It was 2007, and I took it from here to Chicago and then down to D.C. It took me six days. I had my own private car on Amtrak, and it was one of the best journeys of my life. … At first, I looked backwards—but about day three, I started looking forward. It was the best regrouping experience.

Linda ZaharoFF Front desk agent

I came up for Thanksgiving 2014, just to see if I wanted to move to Reno. My best friend lives up here. And I had an interest in the Morris Burner Hotel. I took a train back again for New Year’s Eve 2015, going into ’16 … and decided it’s where I wanted to be.

The train was fantastic.

05.18.17 | RN&R | 5

by SHEILA LESLIE

ACA vs. Wealthcare Cruel. Devastating. Unconscionable. The new Affordable Health Care Act (AHCA) squeaked through the House of Representatives in early May, inspiring plenty of ugly adjectives. Democrats united in denouncing the action while many conservative Republicans were appalled by a rushed process with no independent cost analysis.

The AHCA is indescribable in its meanspirited intent to reshape the Affordable Care Act as a giant tax cut for the wealthy and a mechanism to throw at least 24 million Americans back into the ranks of the uninsured, leaving one to wonder how our country’s leaders could be celebrating a vote that will cause so much pain and suffering for our citizens.

The lies about the new Affordable Health Care Act (AHCA) were prolific and bold. Iowa Republican Rep. Raul Labrador was booed loudly when he told a whopper at a town hall meeting shortly after the vote, saying that “Nobody dies because they don’t have access to

6 | RN&R | 05.18.17

health care.” He obviously hasn’t read the Harvard study that estimates that Americans of working age who don’t have insurance have a 40 percent higher risk of death than those who do. It’s hardly difficult to figure out that many adverse health problems stem from a lack of access to health care.

Speaker Paul Ryan strutted to the victory party in the White House Rose Garden, smugly telling reporters it wasn’t true that someone could be denied coverage under the AHCA due to a pre-existing condition, not explaining that insurance companies can now charge those with a broadly defined pre-existing condition whatever they like. Other AHCA supporters refused to acknowledge the damage that will be done by cutting Medicaid, removing employer mandates to offer insurance to their workers at an affordable price, and getting rid of the 10 essential benefits that guarantee access to mental health care, substance abuse treatment and other critical services.

Nevada has more to lose than most states since we’ve made huge progress in covering the uninsured population through Obamacare. You’d think all of our representatives would comprehend that block-granting Medicaid dollars will cause chaos in Nevada, putting rural hospitals at risk, upending the new community-based mental health care system, and guaranteeing overwhelmed emergency rooms are unable to function properly.

You would be wrong. Northern Nevada’s own Rep. Mark Amodei flipped from opposing the bill to supporting it during the 24 hours before the vote, succumbing to pressure or promises from the president and vice president. Amodei enraged Nevadans who believed him when he vowed to vote against any bill that would hurt our state. His explanation for the flip-flop was laughable, and many predicted the vote portends the end of his political career.

If only that were true. The political reality of House District 2, which has been

held by Republicans since its creation after the 1980 census, insulates Amodei from the seething anger of his urban constituents.

Rural Republicans’ stellar party-line voting record isn’t likely to change no matter what Amodei does.

The AHCA now moves to the U.S. Senate where Nevada’s Republican Senator Dean Heller, up for re-election in 2018, will be a deciding vote. Heller likes to perpetuate the Republican lie that Obamacare is a disaster, admittedly in an inarticulate jumble of half-truths and sheer nonsense.

He says he won’t vote for the House bill in its current form, but he’ll likely flip his vote under pressure, just like Amodei.

People of integrity and compassion will work harder than ever to defeat Amodei and Heller in 2018, but it’s moderate Republicans who can send a stinging message that their party has lost its heart and soul by turning the steady trickle of voters abandoning it into a torrent. You may be the only ones they’ll listen to. Ω

by Brendan Trainor

Lawmaking and culture The Nevada Legislature is fueling the culture wars with divisive bills on sensitive issues.

Senate Bill 186 would create an Office of New Americans in the governor’s office empowered to lobby and make recommendations on immigration policy.

The Democrats lost the 2016 election because they segregate Americans into a multicultural collage of special interest groups. I have an idea: I would support this if there could be an Office of Irredeemable Deplorables, as well. But, then again, where would it end?

People are flocking to the Southern Nevada Detention Center in Pahrump to protest allegedly harsh prison conditions endured by Ryan and Ammon Bundy, awaiting trial on charges stemming from the Bundy family standoff of 2014.

Ammon is in solitary over an extra shirt on his bunk, while Ryan filed suit over excessive body cavity searches.

Creating a special bureaucracy for immigrants just reinforces the alt-right

argument that there is no state protection for white workers.

The legislature’s Democratic majorities have several bills supporting Planned Parenthood, whose federal subsidies were threatened for the umpteenth time by Republicans and for the umpteenth time left untouched.

Perhaps the most contentious bill for religious conservatives is Assembly Bill 348, which would allow outside experts (i.e.

Planned Parenthood) to give sex ed courses that parents would have to affirmatively opt their children out of. Religious conservatives are OK with the school nurse teaching about the birds and bees, but do not want Planned Parenthood “experts” coming to public school to talk about gender fluidity and—most of all—abortion.

Progressives say they want the most up-to-date scientific teachings about sex and gender and abortion rights. But religious conservatives want their children to know more about traditional virtues than what they consider sin. So it really boils down to

religious liberty in a socialized environment where individual rights are hazy and the dominant political correctness sets the rules.

The real answer to this is school choice.

During the transgender bathroom access controversy in Elko, parents of transgender children who were bullied often found private schools that welcomed them. School choice works as well for the Wiccan child as for the Mormon child.

Religious conservatives also object to S.B. 201, banning conversion therapy for children under 18. Conversion therapy to “convert” teens with gay feelings to a straight lifestyle is considered ineffective or harmful for minors by most studies, but the social studies profession is overwhelmingly liberal, and conservatives feel the studies could be subject to confirmation bias. The debate over whether nature or nurture causes sexual orientation, like other politicized scientific debates, has not been settled.

Conversion therapy today is talk therapy and no longer involves physical aversion techniques. The U.S. Courts of Appeals for

the third and ninth circuits have upheld state bans on conversion therapy for minors, but dissenting judges worried about the slippery slope of banning speech. There is a bill in Congress that would ban conversion therapy even for adults, so free speech is in danger of sliding down that slope soon.

Banning conversion therapy is a violation of parental rights and religious liberty.

This is not about refusing blood transfusions to a dying child. This is about parental rights until children reach 18 years to inculcate religious training. If the child and/or the parent is willing to undergo the therapy, I believe the presumption should be to allow it.

Progressives should recognize the State cannot overturn 2000 years of religious tradition in a decade. Ω

For a Columbia Law School summary of what is known about conversion “therapy,” go to http://tinyurl.com/ qb4m357

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by Dennis Myers

At an Environmental Protection Agency auditorium in D.C., Donald Trump signed an executive order promoting coal.

SandS diSpute Scrutinized The Nevada Assembly’s budget committee on May 10 voted to request a bill providing for independent counsel for the Nevada Gaming Control Board.

Such a measure would remove the Nevada attorney general’s office as legal counsel for the Control Board. Assembly Ways and Means Committee chair Maggie Carlton told reporters it means the Control Board has lost confidence in Attorney General Adam Laxalt, a likely candidate for governor in 2018.

The ability of legislators to subject the matter to much analysis is limited by the approaching end of the legislature.

An affidavit executed by Control Board chair Andrew G. Burnett makes reference to a request by Laxalt that the Gaming Control Board intervene in a wrongful termination lawsuit against the Las Vegas Sands Corp. A recording made by Burnett of an April 2016 meeting he had with Laxalt reportedly deals with the same matter. The Federal Bureau of Investigation has examined both the affidavit and the recording and decided not to pursue the matter. Sands chair Sheldon Adelson contributed heavily to Laxalt and financial entities supporting Laxalt in the 2014 campaign for attorney general. Recent news reports suggest up to $1,605,000—a remarkable amount in a state attorney general’s race—found its way from Adelson to various pro-Laxalt entities.

In a prepared statement, Laxalt said of the Ways and Means Committee’s scrutiny, “We look forward to exposing this for what it is: a political attack designed to distract from the Democrats’ radical agenda that harms Nevada’s working families.”

Gov. Brian Sandoval, in an interview with KRNV News last week, said Laxalt “hasn’t denied that [the meeting] happened.

He’s issued a press release that the meeting took place. And I think everyone just needs to listen to the dialogue and decide for themselves what it means.” Sandoval said when he was attorney general, he worked with Burnett and has respect for him.

undercutting the electorS The National Popular Vote Interstate Compact, which seeks to effectively void the power of presidential electors, has been adopted by 11 states which control 165 electoral votes.

Nevada is not among those states.

States that join the compact pledge their electoral votes to the candidate who wins the national popular vote. It is seen as a way of avoiding the perils of the presidential elector system without having to amend the U.S. Constitution to get rid of electors. The compact would supposedly take effect when states with 270 electoral votes—the number needed to appoint a president—join it.

Nevada Assemblymember Nelson Araujo of Clark County introduced Assembly Bill 274, providing that electors for “the candidates for president and vice president who win the national popular vote would become the official presidential electors for Nevada.” The measure received a hearing but was not acted upon by the April 14 deadline for passage through its first committee, so it automatically died.

It is uncertain whether the states control the authority they are pledging in the compact—the power to cast the electoral votes. The U.S. Supreme Court has never ruled on whether states can direct electors how to vote, but in a presidential elector case that decided a different issue, Justice Robert Jackson did write, “No one faithful to our history can deny that the plan originally contemplated what is implicit in [the Constitution’s] text, that electors would be free agents, to exercise an independent and nonpartisan judgment as to the men best qualified for the nation’s highest offices.”

At any rate, whatever happens to the compact in the next two years, Nevada will not be a part of it.

—Dennis Myers

8 | RN&R | 05.18.17

PHOTO/JONATHAN GALLEGOS

Solar flare Trump takes aim at Nevada’s newest industry in the 1970s, oil executives had a mantra—“Solar power isn’t practical.”

It was so commonly used that Ralph Nader eventually responded, “Solar power will never be practical until the oil companies get a franchise on the sun.”

Forty years of technological advances have a way of changing things. Earlier this year, the U.S. Department of Energy, now headed by former oil state governor Rick Perry, reported that there are more workers in the solar generation field than in oil, gas and coal combined.

Only Massachusetts and California have more of those solar jobs than Nevada, which last year hosted 8,764 workers in the solar field—more than other sunny settings like Florida, Texas and Arizona. Nevada is also promoting its geothermal resources, which far outpace other states.

Donald Trump seems determined to do something about that kind of success.

In his 2015 book Crippled America, Trump called renewable energy “really just an expensive way of making the treehuggers feel good about themselves.”

When he was just a real estate figure and television personality, that kind

of snide was no particular source of concern, but when he is in a position to put it into federal policy, it represents a threat to Nevada, which is heavily invested in renewables.

Nevada’s state government has set benchmarks to be met and has provided incentives. Reno and Las Vegas have pitched in to make their contribution to meeting the goals in the Obama administration’s Clean Power Plan, and the City of Las Vegas claims to be the largest city whose municipal facilities are entirely powered by renewables.

“We can brag that the city, this city of Las Vegas, is one of the few cities in the entire world that can boast using all of its power from a green source,” Mayor Carolyn Goodman said in December.

The state has been trying to cultivate an image as a jurisdiction where alternative energy firms are welcome—at least until the Nevada Public Utilities Commission undercut that image by torpedoing net metering.

Trump is no stranger to Nevada, and while some properties like Mandalay Bay brag about their use of renewable energy, Trump International Hotel in Las

Vegas does not. Nevertheless, it’s hard to believe he would not be aware of the state’s commitment to alternative energy.

If he was aware of the state’s efforts to build a new industry—and it’s hard to believe the Las Vegas hotel owner would not be—that does not necessarily mean he would change his mind about an issue that he used on the campaign trail and continues to use to rouse friendly audiences. “We will unleash the full power of American energy, ending job-killing restrictions on shale oil, natural gas and clean, beautiful coal,” he recently told a Republican gathering in Philadelphia.

As a result, Nevada’s renewable energy efforts are expected to take some hard hits.

Trump is expected to ask Congress to roll back the 30 percent investment tax credit for solar, with an eye toward eventually zeroing it out. This was the product of a rare bipartisan agreement on Capitol Hill, and Jon Wellinghoff of Nevada—former chair of the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, now chief policy officer for Solar City—says, “I’m hoping against hope that the deal will hold. ... It was a pretty good deal.”

Trump wants the State Solar Program, which provides $28 million to the states for energy efficiency, to be zeroed out.

The Advanced Research Projects Agency-Energy, a civilian program created to fund energy research—such as energy storage and electrical grids—that business does not, is slated to be eliminated. Trump’s “America First” plan for the budget said “the private sector is better positioned to finance disruptive energy research and development and to commercialize innovative technologies.”

Trump is asking Congress to cut the budgets of the Department of Energy by six percent and the Environmental Protection Agency by 31.

The Center for American Progress reports that in addition to seeking revival of the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste dump, “the Trump budget also attacks weatherization and state energy planning programs at the Department of Energy, eliminating $1.1 million directed to Nevada alone. These programs increase residential energy efficiency for lowincome families, who spend more than 16 percent of their income on energy costs, and help them save $283 per year on average on their utility bills. The state energy program planning funds help governors prepare for natural disasters and electricity or fuel disruptions, increase efficiency for consumers, and

deploy clean and alternative energy, including and some financial publications and sites have at schools and other public buildings.” sounded puzzled by Trump—supposedly a If Trump’s plan were to work and coal businessperson—trying to reverse the laws of gained while solar lost, Nevada would lose in economics. utility costs, in jobs and in tax revenue.

“We already know how to make the Trump’s energy plan reads, in part, transition Trump is resisting,” Market Watch “Protecting clean air and clean water, conservreported in March. “We know [renewables ing our natural habitats, and preserving our are] cheap and getting cheaper, we know it is natural reserves and resources will remain a already creating more jobs than it is displacing, high priority. President Trump will refocus the and we know that about 62 percent of new EPA on its essential mission of protecting electricity-making capacity getting built in our air and water.” the U.S. now uses renewable energy One of President Obama’s like sun and wind. That happened final actions was to approve a mostly because renewable-energy regulation protecting streamand gas-drilling technology flows from coal mining improved, and markets spoke.” pollutants. Trump has taken Trump might also want action to repeal that regulato re-think repealing the tion, calling it duplicative.

Affordable Care Act if he In 2013, Wellinghoff goes ahead with his plans for -MarketWatch.com told a reporter, “Solar is coal. In the unlikely event he growing so fast it is going is successful and coal stages to overtake everything. … It a comeback, so would its health could double every two years.” This effects. “Coal combustion releases week he said, “States are in the lead, and nitrogen oxides, sulfur dioxide, particulate I don’t think Trump can change the market. matter (PM), mercury, and dozens of other Renewables are clearly the least expensive substances known to be hazardous to human things that anyone can do.” health,” according to Source Watch. Coal According to a Department of Energy can cause reduction in life expectancy and report in January, solar generation from 2006 increased respiratory hospital admissions, to 2016 increased by 5,411 percent. Coal congestive heart failure, chronic bronchitis, generation declined by 53 percent. asthma attacks, loss of IQ, nervous system While Trump likes to portray coal’s decline damage, degradation and soiling of buildings as being caused by regulation, the market has that can effect human health, and, of course, boosted solar while reducing coal’s prospects, black lung in miners. Ω

“Markets spoke.”

New life

Joy and Joe Crowley are hosting another family at their home these days, a mother dove and her two squeakers. The dad did not sit for the portrait. Joy Crowley said he marches up and down a nearby wall to make it clear that the family is under his protection.

PHOTO/DENNIS MYERS

05.18.17 | RN&R | 9

10 | RN&R | 05.18.17

Curator of history wendell huffman looks over one of the many unrestored railcars in the museum’s collection.

On the rails The Nevada State Railroad Museum gets back on track after a damaging flood

O

n a Monday afternoon in midApril, a handcar rolled down the track at the Nevada State Railroad Museum in Carson City.

Working the lever at the center of the muscle-powered car was a family of four. The sound of their laughter carried to where Adam Michalski stood in semi-darkness, peering up with a flashlight into the 45 tons of steel and iron above his head.

The Virginia & Truckee No. 25 steam locomotive was scheduled to run during a special reception for state legislators the following day, but, before that could happen, Michalski and a few of his coworkers needed to service and inspect it to make sure it was up to the job.

Standing beneath the train in a service pit cut deep into the cement floor of the museum’s shop, Michalski held a heavy metal plug in his hand—one of four that had been removed from the massive locomotive earlier that day. He had carefully cleaned the plugs and wrapped them in elastic tape before coating their threads in a

mixture of oil and graphite, taken from a coffee can labeled “duck butter.” The greasy concoction had long since spread to his hands, and from there to the crisp blue denim of his new overalls.

He had only to place the last plug in its hole.

After that, the train could be pulled outside, where his teammates waited with a forklift to boost its heavy steam dome into place.

By the end of the day, the train’s tender would be filled with water. If that water came pouring back out of any of the plugs, Michalski would know he’d made a mistake somewhere along the way.

It’s worth noting that this work wasn’t out of the ordinary. The museum staff performs maintenance of this sort every year before firing up the trains for the tourist season. It was, however, a first for Michalski. And, as the museum’s curator of education, it was a job that normally wouldn’t fall to him. Lately, however, things at the museum haven’t been entirely normal.

“You just never know what you’re going to get each day,” Michalski said. “Like today, I’m working on putting plugs into a

steam locomotive. … I have a meeting about websites on Thursday. Friday, I’ve got an events committee meeting. Sunday is the Easter egg hunt. But, the good thing is, I enjoy it all.”

Some of these duties are new for Michalski.

With a museum attendant position vacant since August, he’s had to pick up some slack. And he’s not the only one. On the day the No. 25 was serviced, the restoration crew—to whom engine maintenance generally falls—was technically short two people. Restoration specialist Rick Stiver was there but assigned to temporary light duty. Mort Dolan, another veteran of the department, was there, too. But he—like Michalski—represented an extra set of hands, called in to temporarily fill a vacancy he himself created upon accepting a position as the museum’s facilities manager.

An hour later, with the steam dome in place, the crew stood chatting as the locomotive’s tender filled with water. Like Michalski, they were all happy to take time out of their schedules for the task. The mood was light as the group joked about what might happen

Story and photoS by Jeri Chadwell-Singley

if Michalski’s replacement plugs didn’t hold back water.

In truth, a leaky plug—which there was not—might have posed an annoying setback to the day’s project. But even if the locomotive’s entire 2,500-gallon tender had emptied on the spot, it couldn’t have compared to the deluge that had inundated the same space just a few months before.

Taking sTOck In early January, while the rest of the region kept its eye on the rising Carson and Truckee rivers, a major catastrophe quietly unfolded at the railroad museum. For Michalski, who was there when it happened, it was another first.

“I was in my office all day,” he said. “It was just raining.”

Heavy rains continued through the morning as Michalski worked on, unaware. By the time Wendell Huffman, the museum’s curator of history, stopped by in the early afternoon, the situation had become serious.

“on the rails” continued on page 12

05.18.17 | RN&R | 11

“on the rails” continued from page 11 “Wendell came into my office—and he said, ‘There’s a lot of water out there,’” Michalski recalled. “I didn’t think it was that bad. I’m just looking outside my window, and it’s a heavy rain, but it doesn’t seem that bad.

We walk out to Wendell’s office, to the annex, and there’s just this huge area of water. We have picnic tables out there, and the water was probably up to the bench. There was water going down towards the interpretive center. …

It was going underneath the [shop] doors.”

After a weekend of flooding, the museum announced on Jan. 10 that it had sustained at least $500,000 worth of damage. Flood waters had rushed down two canyons to the museum’s west before cutting across the property, leaving channels several feet deep along a section of the railroad tracks. The floors in the shop were caked in mud. And 5,000 gallons of water had filled the pit in the shop floor.

Cleanup took nearly two months, during which time the museum stayed closed. But behind its doors, the precious collections remained unscathed.

March had come and gone with a more optimistic outlook, but still nothing promised.

April had likewise passed quietly, without a definite yes or no. By the time the official announcement came, it was May. With the track repairs on schedule, it was time to hold the annual safety refresher for the museum’s cadre of volunteers, who, in a few short weeks would be giving tours—and operating the trains.

The completion of track repairs represents the closing of a tense chapter for the train museum.

Warm weather will bring more visitors and more revenue. A new member is set to join the restoration crew next month, and the museum attendant position should be filled soon, too.

While the staff is still stretched a bit thin, things are returning to normal.

In part, this means having the time to look beyond the coming days and weeks to the future, where new challenges and aging dilemmas surrounding both people and trains await consideration.

Kept a-rollin’

operating procedures

The museum reopened on Saturday, March 4, with a day of free admission. By then, much of the damage had been repaired, except for a section of the track that encircles the property.

Despite being less visible to the untrained eye, this damage was the most serious the property sustained.

By April, the deep ravines surrounding the track had hardened in the sun—the last visible traces of the deluge that had swept over the property four months earlier. But a larger problem remained hidden in the surrounding ground.

Standing near the tracks on a dry afternoon, history curator Huffman tried to explain.

“The problem is these ties—the cross ties—should be in gravel, so if any water falls on the track, it’ll run through the gravel and away,” he said.

But when the flood waters receded, tons of sediment were left packed into the gravel, and the threat of future flooding was only one problem this presented—because gravel alongside and beneath railroad tracks isn’t only there for drainage. It also acts as ballast, distributing the weight of the railroad ties and holding the track in place as trains pass along it.

With the annual Memorial Day celebration only weeks away, and everyone hoping for a regular operating season for the locomotives, this was the final problem to address.

Back in January, the prospects for summer train rides had looked truly dismal.

In February, things didn’t sound much better when Nevada Division of Museums Administrator Peter Barton told legislators, it would take “a tremendous amount of effort” for the tracks to be ready in time.

12 | RN&R | 05.18.17

For Chris DeWitt, the head of the restoration department, thoughts of the museum’s future are, oddly enough, often focused less on the engines than the people who run them. A 36-year veteran of the museum, one of his jobs is overseeing the volunteers’ operation of the locomotives. He speaks bluntly about the challenges this brings.

“One of our problems is that we have a cadre of people that have been here since we started operating the steam, and it’s kind of their way or the byway, and they’re sort of very cliquish,” DeWitt said. “I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. They’re great people.

They show up. They work. They’re kind to the equipment, but they’re not bringing people into their group to continue operating. When Barry Simcoe falls over dead, somebody’s got to replace him. But he hasn’t trained a replacement.”

In DeWitt’s view, allowing the longtime volunteers to run the steam program has limited opportunities for new people to get involved. It’s a problem for which his solution is as straightforward as his explanation. He’s simply given over operation of the museum’s two wood burning locomotives to the younger volunteers.

“Barry doesn’t run the wood burners—the No. 22 and the Glenbrook,” he said. “That one’s my call. And, accordingly, I have pretty much given that over to all of the kids.”

It seems like a good strategy for getting fresh blood in the mix. And by all indications, it seems to work.

Before leaving to work on the V&T, and then the Nevada Northern Railway in

Top: Passengers disembark after a ride on the McKeen Car, a gasoline-powered railcar owned by the museum.

Left: During a tour, Huffman talks with a woman about the Glenbrook. This woodburning steam locomotive was built in 1875. The museum completed restoration on it in 2014.

Right: Education Curator Adam Michalski stands atop the No. 25 locomotive as its steam dome is lifted into place.

Ely, Kevin Owens was a young volunteer at the museum. Now, when he arrives back in Carson, it’ll be as the newest member of the restoration team.

“He’s sensitive to the collection,” DeWitt said. “He likes the museum. He has a history with it. He’s going to be great, and I anticipate—although I would not tell him this to his face—that he will, in a few years, be it five or 10 or 15—work himself into the position of the head of the restoration department here.”

For DeWitt, it’s a thought that’s comforting—at least somewhat, anyway.

“I don’t want to walk away from this and have somebody walk in and decide that they’re going to—I don’t know what they’re going to do,” he said. “It actually concerns me.”

It probably should, considering staff positions at the museum are few, and leadership roles, fewer. Basically, a person who holds one is in a position to influence not only the management of volunteers, but also the museum’s collections, which include many unrestored pieces.

The current leaders—including DeWitt, Huffman, and the museum’s director, Dan Thielen— spent a long time developing a

formula for success in restoration. It involves moving slowly, and sometimes not at all.

Pushing Past Tucked away in the shop where the majority of visitors never go rests an important piece from the museum’s collection. It’s a passenger railcar, and it’s not much to look at. In fact, it’s literally falling apart.

The staff members are doing what they can to stop the decay, but when it comes to this particular piece, that’s where they’ve all agreed to draw the line. They want it preserved, not restored.

The Virginia & Truckee coach No. 17 is the oldest car in the museum’s collection. It’s also arguably the most historic. Built in 1868, the car had a long history of service before coming to the museum almost 30 years ago. It had served on the V&T and been used in movies by two different studios. It had even made a stop at Promontory Summit in the territory of Utah, on May 10, 1869—the day the final spike was driven on the First Transcontinental Railroad.

“This particular car was there when they drove the gold spike,” Huffman said. “And it’s

made me think—and other people—that, you know, tearing that car up and throwing it away and building a new car that looks just like it and saying, ‘This is the car that was there,’ is sort of a shame when you’ve got something that was really there. Let’s try to make it interesting so that people can appreciate it even though it’s old and ugly.”

But not everyone agrees with this approach.

“We’ve had some very powerful people— even our own board—tell us, ‘You’ve got to restore it. It’s so significant to the nation, and we’ve got to tell the story,’” said museum director Thielen. “And I have been just, ‘No, we don’t. We can tell a lot of stories with this, but if we restore it, we’ve just got another coach that we think looked like this.’”

DeWitt pointed out that while new-looking, restored cars and engines are what most of the visitors come to see, that’s not the case for everyone. And in his opinion, the days of restoration—at least at the Carson City museum—may be numbered.

“I mean, we’re not going to restore everything on the property—nor should we,”

he said. “When you restore a piece of equipment, you throw away original fabric. None of the researchers, none of the historians and scholars of railroad history, come to this museum to look at a restored piece and research it. It doesn’t happen. They look at the unrestored things, because the footprint is still there.”

For now, it seems the three men aren’t facing too much opposition to their plans. Huffman likes to think the slow pace of bureaucracy will work in their favor. And in the meantime, he’s scheming up ways to capture people’s interests with unrestored pieces.

“I want to get a steam locomotive and cut it in half so that people can see a cross section, all the stuff inside,” he said. “Look at that—you light up at that. But you know what a steam locomotive is worth? You think you could get a steam locomotive and actually do that? I found one. I found one, and the owner is willing to do it, but his son doesn’t want to give it to us. But I’m hoping, in time.” Ω

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Om base

Hannah Bias teaches a variety of yoga classes, including a weekly drop-in class available to all teens.

Urban Lotus Project teaches young people contending with homelessness, incarceration and other stressful situations how to find a moment of peace

by Kris Vagner | kr is v@n ews r eview.com PHOTO/KRIS VAGNER

y

oga might be widely regarded as a path to composure and

mindfulness, but it can have its awkward moments, too—especially if you’re eight months pregnant.

“Sometimes the downward facing dog is very hard, especially with a big, growing belly,” said Vanessa, a 23-year-old resident of Casa de Vida, a crisis pregnancy center in Reno.

14 | RN&R | 05.18.17

Vanessa works during the day at the center’s store, folding and hanging free clothes for babies. In the evenings, she eats dinner with the center’s other three residents. After dinner, volunteers teach the women skills ranging from cooking and scrapbooking to setting boundaries and “Domestic Violence 101.”

And on Sunday evenings, the residents gather in a classroom downstairs for a yoga session—one that doesn’t necessarily come with the promise of serenity you might expect at a yoga studio. Lately, two infants have been attending.

“We have two pregnant girls, then we have two moms with their babies,” Vanessa said.

In the midst of a potentially boisterous class that may involve a few awkward-feeling poses,

Vanessa has picked up a helpful stress-relieving technique.

“Last week, we were talking about how if we’re having negative, intrusive thoughts, if something’s really irritating us, to kind of chant a word, either ‘love’ or ‘peace,’ or ‘compassion,’ and keep saying it over and over until those intrusive thoughts get out of our head,” she said. “I’ve been doing that a lot lately.

When I’m irritated with someone, I say ‘trust’ or ‘empathy,’ kind of feel for them.”

As she repeats the words in her mind, she breathes in for four counts, then out for six counts. She said this practice helps her feel less annoyed. How long does the word need to be chanted to make this work? “It depends on how irritated you are,” she said.

Fringe beneFit The instructors who teach yoga to Vanessa and her peers are volunteers with a nonprofit group called Urban Lotus Project. Hannah Bias, founder and director, explained the group’s mission: “We teach yoga practices to at-risk and under-served youth and young adults.”

Bias got into yoga herself about four years ago, when she was in her early 20s. She’d been experiencing lung problems, and a friend advised her that yoga might be a good way to strengthen her breath. Soon after she started, she did feel her lungs getting stronger, and she also noticed something she hadn’t expected.

“I started realizing this other—repair, I guess you could call it,” she said.

Bias didn’t want to get too personal about It’s amazing [the feedback] we get. In juvenile the details of her own upbringing, but she did detention, I get the word ‘free’ more often than I say that she was “troubled” as a teen, adding, “I would ever assume. We get words like ‘hopeful.’ really struggled with my own self worth.”

One little kid said he felt like he was in God’s She noticed that practicing yoga was making hands at Sun Valley Elementary. That was a her more emotionally resilient. It was becoming sweet experience.” easier to deal with stress, anxiety and depression.

Another notable difference is that Urban “That’s when it clicked,” Bias said. “I wish Lotus instructors follow the conventions of a I’d started doing this when I was younger. … I practice called “trauma-informed” yoga, which just kept thinking, man, if I had been learning Bias learned through groups such as Prison this when I was 13—or 14 or 15, it would have Yoga Project, whose workshop she attended saved my family a lot of trouble.” in San Francisco. This kind of yoga She completed her first yoga teaching involves a hands-off teacher training in 2014. For a policy. Whereas, in a studio, year, she taught classes at a teacher might make a studios and gyms. physical adjustment to “It kept nagging at a student, here they me that this practice would not. could be used for Language is younger people in also important. such a beneficial Teachers will way,” she said. suggest that a A friend, Jen student take a Olsen, who later particular pose, but became one of they won’t flat-out Urban Lotus Project’s tell them to. five board members, “It empowers Hannah Bias, founder, Urban Lotus Project works for the Sparks them,” said Bias. “It’s Police Victim Services not a command. They Unit. She advised Bias on get to be in control of their which youth assistance organizaown body.” tions might welcome yoga instruction.

“When I started studying about Bias started with the Children’s Cabinet and how trauma lives in the body and sought out Eddy House Youth Resource Center. [training], I realized that it does live in the body “I called them up and went there, and said, long beyond the original traumatic experience,” ‘I’m starting up this project, and I’d like to teach she said. “And you can only really heal from your kids for free, and they said, ‘OK, great,’” trauma once you feel like you’ve gained control she said. The project gained momentum quickly. over your own body and you rise to a place of Now, around 20 volunteers visit about a dozen personal power. And that’s exactly what yoga is, sites, including Jan Evans Juvenile Justice it’s getting out of the thinking mind and down Center, Willow Springs residential treatment into the feeling body, and it’s like the doorway. center, and a few elementary schools. They It’s not the only means of healing from traumatic taught an estimated 2,000 students in 2016. experiences, but it’s a really excellent doorway to Halfway through 2017, they’ve already exceeded start that healing transformation.” that number.

Bias admitted that at 14, she may well not have been open to the suggestion to take up sun salutations and meditative breathing, and she keeps that in mind when she teaches. She also keeps in mind that many of her students don’t come to her voluntarily, that yoga is often a required class—including for Vanessa and her In some ways, an Urban Lotus class looks a peers at Casa De Vida. lot like a regular yoga class. There are yoga “They’re either incarcerated or they’re mats and many of the usual poses. But there are hospitalized or homeless,” Bias said. “They’ve some differences. On a Friday evening class at got real life stacked up against them. So they’re Midtown Community Yoga—this one is a free, not seeking out yoga to be ultra-relaxing. It’s weekly class for any teens, whether in crisis or not like what we go seek when we go to a yoga not—Bias began by asking students what kind studio.” She hopes that her efforts will lead to her of day they were having—thumbs up for good, students achieving better relaxation, sleep and thumbs pointed toward the wall for meh, thumbs impulse control. down for bad.

“But what I say doesn’t really matter,” she “We do a check-in at the beginning and said. “What they feel at the end of the class is a check-in at the end of class, so the kids can really what gets them to understand.” Ω assign a value to their experience,” she said.

“The check-in we do at the end of class is—pick one word that best describes how you feel. It Urban Lotus Project’s Strange Summer Party fundraising event doesn’t have to be anything to do with yoga, not is scheduled for July 8 at Strange Bikinis, 2115 Dickerson Road. anything you think the teacher wants to hear, just For more information, visit www.urbanlotusproject.org of follow Urban Lotus Project on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. whatever feels real and honest to you right now.

“you can only really heal from trauma once you feel like you’ve gained control over your own body and you rise to a place of personal power.”

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After painter Katy Ann Fox graduated from art school, she had a choice to make.

Would she settle in Reno, where she really liked the landscape and the Truckee River, or in Jackson Hole, Wyoming? The Wyoming landscape blew her away, so she settled on Jackson Hole and moved there in 2012.

“The Tetons were crazy,” she said of the mountain range whose jagged peaks she often paints. Plus, it turned out that Jackson Hole has a couple of conditions that offer solid advantages for someone trying to establish an art career.

“There’s 24 galleries in this town of, like, 9,000,” Fox said—and enough tourists to make for a brisk trade in landscape paintings. She also found that the workforce there is small, so, “It’s a workers’ market. You get to choose. Companies are stoked to hire someone with social skills.”

Any time she’s needed an odd job to augment her earnings from paintings, she’s found one easily.

Meanwhile, she did establish a few roots in Reno, exhibiting at Reno Art Blast and Hub Coffee Roasters and making some friends in the art world.

Lately, Fox has been teaching a ceramics class in Jackson Hole and helping seventh graders prep for a medieval faire. “They are making a puppet show,” she said. “They’re making stained glass windows and turning the cafeteria into a medieval castle.”

Despite the forays into different media and community projects, Fox’s approach to painting is pretty traditional. She once went to a plein air painters convention

k r isv @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

Katy Ann Fox’s painting “We’ve All Been Here Before” is one of several pictures of her adopted home state of Wyoming on display at Sierra Arts.

in Las Vegas and was taken with their approach to painting—both the way they paint outdoors and the way they tend to think about things.

“I came to really appreciate how they were looking at something you see every day and trying to put some emotion in that scene,” she said. “Plein air painting is uncomfortable, and it kind of sucks,” she added, sounding as bubbly and amused as if she’d been telling a joke and was on the brink of cracking up. (Fox said that’s normal for her. Among her friends, she said, she has a reputation for finding the silver lining in just about anything.)

She likes the way that dodging wind and sunburn and racing to capture a scene before the light changes can force painters to make quick decisions. She said the practice of working outdoors has made her a better painter. She paints in her studio a lot, too, though, where it’s warmer.

Fox’s subject matter often includes wide valleys, snow-capped mountains and lonely buildings with peeling paint, and her style is a bit impressionistic, a bit realistic, and a bit like that of someone with a tight sense of graphic design. She said she chooses her scenes and subjects based on moments spent in the landscape that she might want to revisit, and that what each one has in common is an element of solitude.

“It’s pleasing colors, and it’s calm mood,” she added. “That’s how I want to spend my life. I want this calm and wonderful feeling.

“There’s beauty in the mundane,” she said. “My everyday life is wonderful, I’m surrounded by beautiful people and these mountains.” That’s the feeling she wants to share with her viewers. Ω

Katy ann Fox: still Movement is on view through May 26 at sierra arts, 17 s. Virginia st. a reception is scheduled for 6-8 p.m. May 20, and a Dinner in the gallery will be held at 7 p.m. May 27. For dinner tickets, $65, visit www.signupgenius.com/go/10c044faeac29a0fa7-anintimate.

by BoB Grimm

b g ri m m @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

SHORT TAKES

3

“Don’t take it out on me, Goldie. i didn’t write the damn movie.”

Goldie fever Fifteen years after her last movie (the terrible The Banger Sisters), Goldie Hawn has been coaxed back onto the big screen opposite Amy Schumer in Snatched. While it’s great to have her back, it would’ve been super great had the movie been totally worth her time.

Hawn and Schumer play Linda and Emily, mother and daughter, in what amounts to some decent dirty jokes, some dumb dirty jokes, and a lot of flat jokes powered by a plot with no real sense of purpose. The comic duo work hard to make it all a bit of fun, but they are ultimately taken down by a film that aspires to mediocrity.

When Emily is dumped by her rocker boyfriend (the always funny Randall Park), she has no traveling partner for her upcoming, non-refundable trip to Ecuador. In steps Linda, a crazy cat lady mom who barely ever leaves the house. Just like that, the two wind up sleeping in a king bed in a lavish resort, with Emily constantly taking selfies to impress her Facebook friends, and Linda covered up with scarves by the pool.

After Emily meets a hot British guy (Tom Bateman), she ultimately winds up on a sightseeing trip with mom along for the ride. Mom and daughter wind up kidnapped and held for ransom, with nobody but their nerd son/brother (Ike Barinholtz) to save their asses.

Director Jonathan Levine (50/50) isn’t afraid to take things to mighty dark places—Emily’s attempts to free her and mom from their captors has a body count—and the film earns its R-rating with raunchy humor (Schumer’s specialty). Some of the gags are good, including a bit involving a scorpion, an ill-fated attempt to swing on a vine, and a tongueless former special ops soldier (Joan Cusack) flipping through the air like Spider-Man. Hawn and Schumer make for a convincing mommy-daughter combo, and Snatched has its worth for putting the two in a movie together.

They rise above the material often enough to make the film somewhat forgivable, especially if

you are a fan of both. (And, really, why wouldn’t you be?)

The problem with Snatched is that a scenario of two women being kidnapped is about as unfunny as you can get for starters, and writer Katie Dippold (who co-wrote the awful Ghostbusters reboot) doesn’t come up with a series of events that feels original. Like the Ghostbusters movie before it, Snatched drops some comedy mega-stars into a played-out plot built on swampland and expects the whole thing to stay afloat given the screen talent employed.

They get a few good laughs but not enough to cancel out the creatively barren dreariness of the story. What they wind up doing is sort of neutralizing the movie, making it a little less dark than a straight kidnapping caper. The resultant vibe is one of flatness.

Now, given the relative failure of this endeavor, I would hope Goldie Hawn doesn’t get discouraged by it. Let’s hope this movie is the first of many that see one of the greats return to relatively steady work. Truth is, she still has it, and she manages to make a lot of potentially stale moments in the film earn at least a chortle.

It’s a weird thing to ponder that she’s been away for a decade-and-a-half, because her timing is spot on.

As for Schumer, she has a way with gross-out humor that allows you to keep rooting for her the grosser she gets. She’s just as funny as Hawn here, and it was an inspired idea to put the two together in a movie.

Leaving Snatched, my general feeling was “Yeah, I just saw that,” and not much beyond.

Happy as heck to see Goldie again, and I enjoy the Schumer shtick to an extent, but Snatched feels more like something for Sandler and his Netflix cronies than a vehicle for the return of Goldie Hawn. Ω

Snatched

12345

Beauty and the Beast

This live-action take on the classic Disney animated musical isn’t a shot-for-shot remake of the original like, say, Gus Van Sant’s time-wasting Psycho effort.

However, it does follow a lot of the same plot points and incorporates enough of the musical numbers to give you that sense of déja vu while watching it. Thankfully, Emma Watson makes it worthwhile. Hermione makes for a strong Belle.

Since director Bill Condon retains the music from the original animated movie, Watson is asked to sing, and it’s pretty evident that AutoTune is her friend. She has a Kanye West thing going. As the Beast, Dan Stevens gives a decent enough performance through motion-capture.

The original intent was to have Stevens wearing prosthetics only, but he probably looked like Mr. Snuffleupagus in dailies, so they called upon the help of beloved computers. Like King Kong, the CGI creation blends in nicely with his totally human, organic cast member. The cast and crew labor to make musical numbers like “Gaston” and “Be Our Guest” pop with the creative energy of the animated version, but they don’t quite reach those heights. They are nicely rendered, for sure, but not on the masterpiece level that was the 1991 film.

1

The Circle

This is a clueless movie based on the novel by Dave Eggers, a lame attempt at satire in regard to social networking and the invasion of privacy during the digital age.

After slaving away at a temp job, Mae Holland (Emma Watson) lands a gig at The Circle thanks to her friend Annie (Karen Gillan), a top player at the company. The Circle is all of your basic modern day computer entities—Apple, Google, Facebook, Twitter, etc.—wrapped into one big digital corporate burrito. It’s run by a friendly-looking, coffee cup-toting, Steve Jobs-like entity named Bailey (Tom Hanks) and his sidekick Stenton (Patton Oswalt, a.k.a.

TV’s Son of TV’s Frank on the new incarnation of Mystery Science Theater 3000). Mae progresses from a customer service rep to a big player in the company seemingly overnight, and let’s just say that ascension is a wee bit unconvincing. Watson’s portrayal of Holland’s supposed turmoil and opinion swings lacks any sort of dimension, wit or shock value. Yes, much of this can be blamed on the screenplay written, in part, by Eggers himself and director James Ponsoldt. It lacks the insight and dark humor this sort of film craves. But, while often an enjoyable movie presence, Watson might lack the talent to pull a role like this, one that requires her to be unlikeable in many ways.

The Circle is obnoxious, sloppy and full of aimless arguments. You know … like most of your Facebook and Twitter news feeds.

2

The Fate of the Furious

With The Fate of the Furious, easily the most stupidly titled installment in the Furious franchise—yes, even more stupid than the name Tokyo Drift—you get to see the single most disgusting, stomach-churning, horrifying moment in cinema so far this year. That would be when Charlize Theron plants a big, sloppy kiss on Vin Diesel, the image of which is some kind of “Woman from Monster Meets the Pillsbury Dough Boy On Steroids” nightmare.

Some five years ago, I made up a list of five things I never wanted to see, and that came in at number three, right under “Donald Trump as President” and “Spiders in My Scrambled Eggs Being Served to Me By a Man with Weeping Hand Sores.” Somewhere along the way, the Furious franchise went completely bonkers and became less about cars racing around and more about dudes who think hair on the top of their heads is total bullshit and also think upper arms should be the size of a bull’s torso.

It also went off on some sort of international spy team tangent, something that worked to a hilarious degree in Furious 7. In The Fate of the Furious, the franchise trajectory becomes ridiculous without being much fun.

1

Going in Style

This is a lousy remake of the “old guys rob a bank wearing rubber noses” bleak comedy from back in 1979 that starred

George Burns and Art Carney. The original was directed by Martin Brest, the guy who would go on to direct Beverly Hills Cop, Midnight Run and, uh oh, Gigli. This take loses all of the charm of that fun and slightly dark Burns vehicle. It’s super heavy on schmaltz, and it asks a strong cast to embarrass themselves for more than 90 minutes. Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Alan Arkin replace Burns, Carney and Lee Strasberg in the updated story, and that setup probably looked pretty good on paper. Unfortunately, they handed the film to Zach Braff, the guy from Scrubs, to direct. Braff does so with all the subtlety and nuance of an M80 going off in a candlelight yoga class. The heist itself insists that it is clever while being rather rote and mundane. Caine replaces Burns as Joe, the brains of the group. Joe, during a visit to a bank to complain about his upcoming foreclosure, witnesses a bank robbery. So, naturally, when he and his pals’ pensions go away, he decides to rob a bank. Then, after some gentle persuading with Willie (Freeman) and Albert (Arkin), they rob a bank. The big twist here is that they rob a bank wearing Rat Pack masks instead of the rubber nose glasses they wore in the original.

4

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

4

Norman

The trippy Marvel fun continues with this big, nutty, spiraling sequel that brings the fun, along with a lot of daddy issues.

Star-Lord, a.k.a. Peter Quill (Chris Pratt), had some major mommy issues in the first movie, and this time out his dad takes a turn at messing with his head. The dad comes in the form of Ego (Kurt Russell—yes!), who we see hanging out with Quill’s mom in the ’70s during the film’s prologue. (The CGI and practical makeup anti-aging effects on Kurt Russell ranks as one of the best examples of that particular trick to date.) After a killer opening credits sequence that features a battle with a giant slug thing while Baby Groot dances to ELO, the Guardians—including Quill, Baby Groot (voice of Vin Diesel), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Drax (David Bautista) and Rocket (voice of Bradley Cooper)—find themselves on another quest.

They are quickly diverted to Ego’s planet, where Quill finds out more about his celestial origins. Russell proves to be perfectly cast as Quill’s bombastic father, with Pratt possessing many of the legendary action film star’s alluring traits. Seeing them on screen together, at one point playing catch with an energy ball Quill conjures with newfound powers, is one of the film’s great joys. It also proves to be misleading, because writer-director James Gunn isn’t going to settle for an easy story about a wayward son reuniting with a dream dad. As it turns out, Ego makes Darth Vader look like Mike Brady on a paternal level. Vol. 2 is as dark and nasty as it is silly and action-packed.

Richard Gere delivers one of his very best performances as Norman, a New York “businessman” who doesn’t really have a business or a job. A mysterious, earbudwearing, graying old man riding the trains and grabbing crackers for dinner at the local synagogue, Norman, nevertheless, has big aspirations. A self-professed “good swimmer” fighting to stay afloat, Norman finds himself in the company of an up-and-coming Israeli politician (an excellent Lior Ashkenazi) and, in a moment of generosity/desperation, buys the man a pair of shoes. That gesture earns him some good favor as the politician becomes the Israeli Prime Minister, and Norman’s act of kindness earns him the man’s friendship. With big friends comes more notoriety, and Norman finds himself involved in political intrigue and rising responsibility in the New York Jewish community. Gere, who basically shrinks himself under a sun cap and trench coat, sparkles in the role, making Norman a memorable, likeable and appropriately annoying character.

Supporting performances from Dan Stevens, Charlotte Gainsbourg and Steve Buscemi round out an excellent cast. Director Joseph Cedar presents the story in surprisingly layered, often funny fashion, with a definite tragedy at its center. Gere’s work here is some of the year’s best so far.

05.18.17

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Hole in one Panaderia Las Palomas isn’t in a fancy part of town, and there certainly isn’t anything fancy about the place. There are a few posters and advertisements on the walls, retail items for sale—including mason jars of housemade salsas—and display cases full of baked goods. But I wasn’t there for the ambiance. I’ll take function over form any day.

The combined aromas of pastries and spicy hot dishes wafting from the kitchen was completely intoxicating. Though it didn’t take long for my to-go order to be completed, waiting in that swirl of scents made my mouth water with anticipation.

The menu board is short and sweet.

Although nearly everything is available as a combo plate, I chose to skip the rice and beans and focus on easily shareable items.

I think it’s almost a given that you should try a torta when visiting a Mexican bakery, and I wasn’t disappointed by Panaderia Las Palomas’ version. I’m usually a fan of carnitas or pollo in my sandwiches, but the carne asada torta ($8.99) sounded best that day. Steak, lettuce, tomato, mayo and sliced jalapeño were stuffed into one of the biggest bolillo rolls I’ve seen. The roll was soft and crusty, the meat was tender, and the complete combination made for a sandwich I’d definitely order again. We cut it into sections, and there was plenty to go around.

Speaking of plenty to go around, a grande order of albondigas soup ($8.99) was easily enough to share between four hungry people. Many local versions of this meatball and vegetable classic consist of potato, carrot, onion and zucchini, with variations here and there. This 32-ounce serving featured six large meatballs and huge chunks of carrot, potato and chayote

Tortas from Panaderia Las Palomas come with a choice of meats, including chicken, carnitas and carne asada.

PHOTO/ALLISON YOUNG

squash. It was served with a stack of housemade white corn tortillas. The seasonings in the broth and meat were complementary, and the veggies were cooked just right. It’s a very hearty, meaty comfort food dish.

An order of six street tacos ($1.49 each, $1 on Fridays), one for each available meat, was also served with the housemade tortillas, made fresh daily. They were stuffed with plenty of meat, onion and cilantro, and served with extra onion, cilantro and lime wedges on the side. Meats included steak, slow-cooked pork, marinated pork, chicken, beef head and beef tongue. Both pork tacos were good, but the flavor of the marinated pig was best. The chicken was a little dry, and the beef head was on the fatty side, but neither was lacking in flavor. If you’re a lover of tongue, this is a place to try. The lengua taco had excellent texture and flavor. I could get very full very fast on a Friday visit.

A pair of chicharron pupusas ($2.50 each, $1.25 on Mondays) made me sad, but only because I regretted not having purchased more. The seasoned pork and cheese filling was ample, and the texture was right in the Goldilocks zone between too soft and too crisp. With the addition of mild tomato salsa and an above average curtido slaw, they were just right. The lightly fermented slaw was of particular note. Small slices of mild chile were added to the standard mix of shredded cabbage, carrot and onion, an addition that made it extra special. There are quite a few places I like for pupusas, but I’ll return to this shop Ω just for the extra yummy curtido.

Panaderia Las Palomas 814 S. Wells Ave., 323-1881

Panaderia Las Palomas is open Wednesday through Monday from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m., and Tuesday from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.

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Head distiller Earl Spriggs pours glasses of gin for himself and distillery president James Sipaila.

Spirited away One version of the American Dream goes like this: you have a hobby you enjoy.

You turn your hobby into a profession and achieve awesomeness—getting paid to do something you enjoyed doing for free.

The guys behind Forsaken River Spirits are pursuing the dream. Head Distiller Earl Spriggs was a hobby distiller when a fateful visit to a craft distillery in Colorado planted the seed—could this hobby be a viable business? He recruited former schoolmate James Sipaila, initially to help write a business plan. They soon became business partners, and after a few years of fundraising, licensing and hard work, Forsaken River Spirits was born. (Full disclosure: I kicked in a donation to their crowdfunding campaign, and in return I get a discount. I have no other affiliation.)

A few weeks after the opening, I decided to pay a visit and see what’s cooking in the still. As the Forsaken River publicity machine is still pretty quiet, I wasn’t even sure the few open hours on the Facebook page were correct. (They are.)

Located near a dead end of Bell Street, this multi-tenant building displaying signs for a church, a wine company and, ironically, a substance abuse counselor. It feels like an odd place for a distillery. I followed signs through a few turns down a hallway and wandered into a dimly lit salon of sorts, empty of a single other soul.

Farther in, I found Spriggs and Sipaila huddled over a table working, alone, in a small warehouse-like space. A smoky aroma filled the air, and the white noise of a gas burner filled my ears. Announcing myself, I was greeted warmly and given a brief tour of the operation. The smoky smell, Spriggs explained, came from a batch of cold-smoked rye grains, destined for a mash tun, fermentation and distillation before filling one of the barrels in the

Photo/Eric Marks

corner. The first batch of Forsaken River’s Western version of Scotch is expected around December.

Until the alchemy of those barrels is complete, local spirits enthusiasts will have to be satisfied with faster production products, namely the Highland Gin and Vodka from Grains currently available. I sampled a wee bit of each as Spriggs talked about everything from production to legal requirements. He described flavors I should look for, but as somewhat of a distillation novice, my palate still struggles to find or identify subtle flavors and nuances. Guided perhaps by the power of suggestion, I’m getting there. Regardless, I know what I think is good, and I liked these—not harsh, burning or challenging to drink, just light flavor and pleasant warmth.

The dream has been set in motion, but the struggle continues. The crowdfunding campaign was only 26 percent funded, making capital for things like ingredients limited. Forsaken River hasn’t found a distributor yet, so sales of its small product line is limited to patrons who seek them out. For now, both partners continue to work their regular day jobs.

But, as is often the case, this labor of love doesn’t feel like work. When Spriggs talks about gin ingredients like lavender and sage, the magic of barrels, or the sweetness of grain, his enthusiasm is contagious. The place is kind of odd at first, but warm and quaint once you settle in to taste some hooch. I can picture a day when I’ll find Forsaken River whiskey at my local bar or liquor store. It’s hard not to believe in the dream. Ω

Forsaken River Spirits 255 Bell St.

For more information, visit forsakenriver.com.

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Gabe Horan, Matt L’Etoile, Jake Loragé and Pablo Schultz are Tresed, “desert” spelled backwards.

Dry spell Tresed Two things to know up top about the Reno rock band Tresed: 1. The band name, in case you’re bad at anagrams or haven’t bothered to hold it up to a mirror, is the word “desert” backwards. 2. The band members are all still students at Damonte Ranch High School. But this isn’t one of those summer camp bands organized by parents trying to pass on their own teenage dreams to a younger generation. There’s no Svengali behind the band, just four young dudes out to rock. Their ramshackle rehearsal space—which is at somebody’s mom’s house, of course—doesn’t have a P.A., so the guitarists practice singing into a mic that isn’t connected to anything, and the bass player plays out of a practice amp that’s woefully inadequate.

“We’re working on that,” said Jake Loragé, one of the band’s two guitaristvocalists, about the lack of a P.A. They live out in a particular kind of a desert, a suburban wasteland, surrounded by half-built houses, and row after row of identical streets, and nothing of note in walking distance but a park or two. But out there, they crank up reverbed-out Fender combo amps with fuzz and chorus pedals, and play riffs that come straight from the best of ’90s songbooks, sounding a bit like a combination of Nirvana, Sonic Youth and early Butthole Surfers.

The band has covered the Nirvana song “Stay Away” at shows, and drummer Pablo Schultz has been known to throw in Dave Grohl fills in the band’s originals

Photo/BraD Bynum

tunes, which have heavier-than-thou titles like “Deep Sea Space” and “The Bog” and monster riffs to match. Schultz hits hard and loud and is fun to watch.

Matt L’Etoile, the band’s other guitaristvocalist, throws in some spicy wah-wah solos that add touches of ’70s psych-rock.

Bass player Gabe Horan, who plays on a borrowed practice amp, is the newest addition to the lineup, and he admits he doesn’t come from a rock background— he’s more of a country guy—but he connects to the music.

“I like the energy of it, and how much we get into it,” he said. “The energy is pretty intense, and I like that.”

Schultz discovered bands like Nirvana by raiding his dad’s music collection. “My dad just played it all the time,” he said.

“He also played, like, Bad Brains and Led Zeppelin.”

“The music that’s out today just doesn’t do it for me,” said L’Etoile.

The ’90s influence continues the everyother-decade pattern of cultural influence.

(The 1970s had a ’50s revival, in the ’80s, everyone talked about the ’60s, and in the ’90 one of the most popular TV shows was called That ’70s Show.)

And although they play music that comes from a long tradition of teenage angst and ennui, the band members seem well balanced and mentally healthy. But they acknowledge a bit of rebellion in their music.

“We touch on it occasionally, but we’re not like generation X or anything,” said Loragé. Ω

For more information, visit soundcloud.com/tresed or follow @_tresed_ on Instagram.

05.18.17 | RN&R | 23

THURSDAY 5/18 1up

3rd Street Bar

Frank Perry Jazz Combo, 8pm, no cover

Reno Comedy Showcase, 9:30pm, no cover

Suspect Zero, 9:30pm, no cover

5 Star Saloon

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Dance Party, 10pm, $5

Reno Wine Walk, 2pm, $20 Dance Party, 10pm, $5

David and The Drivers, 9pm, no cover

David and The Drivers, 9pm, no cover

125 W. Third St., (775) 323-5005 132 West St., (775) 329-2878

May 18, 8 p.m.

Crystal Bay Club 14 Highway 28 Crystal Bay 833-6333

Bar of america

10042 Donner Pass Rd., Truckee; (530) 587-2626

the BlueBird nightcluB cargo at Whitney peak hotel

3rd Street Bar, 125 W. Third Street, (775) 323-5005: Open Mic Comedy Competition with host Pat Shillito, Wed, 9pm, no cover The Improv at Harveys Lake Tahoe, 18 Highway 50, Stateline, (775) 5886611: Tom Rhodes, Chase Durousseau, Thu-F, Sun, 9pm, $25; Sat, 9pm, $30; Bobby Collins, Jesus TrejoTrejo, Wed, 9pm, $25 Laugh Factory at Silver Legacy Resort Casino, 407 N. Virginia St., (775) 3294777: Quinn Dahle, Thu-Su 7:30pm, $21.95; Fri-Sat, 7:30pm, 9:30pm, $27.45; Mark Pitta, Tue-Wed, 7:30pm, $21.95

538 S. Virginia St., (775) 329-5558 10142 Rue Hilltop, Truckee; (530) 587-5711

2002 Victorian Ave., Sparks; (775) 358-6700

Traditional Irish Session, 7pm, Tu, no cover

DJ Toni Tunez, 9pm, no cover

DJ Steve Starr, 9pm, no cover

Adrian’s Open Mic Jam Slam, 8pm, Tu, no cover

Matt Bushman, Jonathan Rolling, 7pm, no cover

Open Mic with Lenny El Bajo, 7pm, Tu, no cover

Country line dancing with DJ Trey, 7pm, no cover

8-Track Maniacs, 9pm, no cover

the holland project

Jesus Piece, Malice At The Palace, Bind, Drag Me Under, 7pm, M, $8

140 Vesta St., (775) 742-1858

71 S. Wells Ave., (775) 384-1652

Karaoke, 9pm, Tu, W, no cover

Keith Shannon, 9pm, no cover

6300 Mae Anne Ave., (775) 787-6300

juB juB’S thirSt parlor

Sunday Takeover, 8pm, no cover

Lex White The Bluegrass Man, 9pm, no cover

fine VineS

3372 S. Mccarran Blvd., (775) 825-1988

DG Kicks Big Band Jazz Orchestra, 8pm, Tu, no cover

Bias and Dunn, 6pm, no cover

elBoW room Bar

hellfire Saloon

MON-WED 5/22-5/24

Shiba San, Justin Jay, 8pm, $25-$30

255 N. Virginia St., (775) 398-5400

cottonWood reStaurant & Bar

SUNDAY 5/21

The Human Experience, Saqi, Mr. Rogers, Kr3ture, 10pm, $20

555 E. Fourth St., (775) 499-5549

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Comedy

SATURDAY 5/20

What So Not, 10pm, $25-$30

214 W. Commercial Row, (775) 329-9444

KONGOS

FRIDAY 5/19

Bag Of Tricks Cat, Justus Samuel, Tommy Will, Brixx, 8pm, $15

Mozzy, Akbad, 7:30pm, $25 Greyhaven, Modern Color, 9pm, $6

Pallbearer, Gatecreeper, 8pm, $13

the jungle

Armed For Apocalypse, Pressure Drop, Down and Out, 9pm, M, $4 Outspoken: Monday Open Mic, 7pm, M, no cover

246 W. First St., (775) 329-4484

presents

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MIX M

Voo Doo Dogz 9pm @ The Alturas

1044 E 4th St (775) 324-5050 24 | RN&R | 05.18.17

Think you know your limits?

Think again.

If you drink, don’t drive.

Period.

THURSDAY 5/18

FRIDAY 5/19

Living The good Life

Jimmy Mallett, 6pm, no cover

The LofT Tahoe

Magic Fusion, 7:30pm, $19-$27

The Loving Cup

Jazz Night, 8:30pm, no cover

MidTown wine Bar

DJ Trivia, 6:30pm, no cover

1480 N. Carson St., (775) 841-4663 1021 Heavenly Village Way, South Lake Tahoe; (530) 523-8024

188 California Ave., (775) 322-2480 1527 S. Virginia St., (775) 800-1960

Magic Fusion, 7:30pm, $19-$27

Magic Fusion, 7pm, 9pm, $19-$27

Clemón Charles, 8pm, no cover

Jason King, 8:30pm, no cover Plan B, 10pm, $40

2100 Victorian Ave., Sparks; (775) 772-6637 906-A Victorian Ave., Sparks; (775) 358-5484

Acoustic Wonderland, 8pm, no cover

SUNDAY 5/21

Live Jazz, 6pm, no cover DJ R Styles, 9pm, no cover

MiLLenniuM nighTCLuB

paddy & irene’s irish puB

SATURDAY 5/20

Karaoke, 10pm, no cover

The poLo Lounge

Gemini, 9pm, no cover

1559 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-8864

Canyon White, 6:30pm, Tu, no cover Live Jazz Jam, 7:30pm, W, no cover

Magic Fusion, 4:30pm, 7:30pm, $19-$27

Post shows online by registerin g at www.newsrev iew.com/ren o.

Deadline is th e Friday before public ation.

The sainT

Mel and Gia, Hammerhead, Krystal McMullen, 9pm, $5

Dangermuffin, Boondoggle, 8pm, $5-$7

Jelly Bread Homecoming Show, 9pm, $10

shea’s Tavern

Redneck Nosferatu, Murderock, The Habituals, Donkey Jaw, 9pm, $6

Adolfo Benefit Show, 8pm, $5

Green Jelly, Sex Devils, Viva Revenge, 10pm, $13 - $15

sparks Lounge

1237 Baring Blvd., Sparks; (775) 409-3340

Blues Etc. Jam with Tony G & Friends, 8:30pm, no cover

sT. JaMes infirMary

Boondoggle!, 9pm, no cover

761 S. Virginia St., (775) 221-7451 715 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-4774

445 California Ave., (775) 657-8484

sTudio on 4Th

432 E. Fourth St., (775) 737-9776

whiskey diCks

2660 Lake Tahoe Blvd., South Lake Tahoe; (530) 544-3425

MON-WED 5/22-5/24

Magic Fusion, 7:30pm, M, Tu, W, $19-$27

T-N-Keys, 4:30pm, Tu, no cover Chris Costa, 7pm, W, no cover

Dangermuffin

You Play Wednesdays, 8pm, W, no cover Karaoke with Bobby Dee, 8pm, Tu, no cover Live blues, 8pm, W, no cover

Trivia Night, 8pm, no cover

Lost In Society, Basement Tapes, Heterophobia, 9pm, W, $5

Ostracized, 9pm, no cover

Open Jazz Jam, 7pm, Tu, no cover The Soul Persuaders, 8pm, W, no cover

Funky Soul Night with Chris Payne, 9pm, no cover

Saturday Dance Party, 9pm, no cover

Tuesday Trivia, 7:30pm, Tu, no cover Music Industry Night, 9pm, W, no cover

Dos Tacos, Pandora Acoustic, 9pm, $10

’80s New Wave Dance Party, 9pm, $3

Jake Ryan, 9pm, M, $5

Heritage Band, Riotmaker, 9pm, no cover

join the

team

May 19, 8 p.m.  The Saint  761 S. Virginia St.  221-7451

• advertising consultant • distribution driver

For more inF inFormation and to apply, go to www.newsreview.com/reno/jobs.

RN&R is an Equal Opportunity Employer that actively seeks diversity in the workplace.

Shiba San May 19, 8 p.m.  Cargo  255 N. Virginia St.  398-5400

May 18th Underground Coverage Tour May 19th (Showroom) 0R]]\ /LYH LQ 5HQR

May 19th (Barroom) *UH\KDYHQ 5HYROXWLRQ %XPPHU 'RXEOH 6NHOHWRQ 0RUH May 20th (Showroom) Pallbearer, Gatecreeper & Kanawha May 22nd

Armed for Apocalypse, Pressure Drop & Down and Out

Jub Jub’ s Thirst Parlor For more info call 384-1652 www.jubjubsthirstparlor.com 6RXWK :HOOV $YHQXH ‡ 5HQR

05.18.17    |   RN&R   |   25

AtlAntis CAsino ResoRt spA 3800 S. Virginia St., (775) 825-4700 1) Grand Ballroom Stage 2) Cabaret

THURSDAY 5/18

FRIDAY 5/19

SATURDAY 5/20

SUNDAY 5/21

MON-WED 5/22-5/24

2) Steppen’ Stonz, 8pm, no cover

2) Steppen’ Stonz, 4pm, no cover Arizona Jones, 10pm, no cover

2) Steppen’ Stonz, 4pm, no cover Arizona Jones, 10pm, no cover

2) Arizona Jones, 8pm, no cover

2) Cook Book, 8pm, M, Tu, W, no cover

2) George Pickard, 5pm, no cover Thom Yeoman, 9pm, no cover

2) George Pickard, 5pm, no cover Thom Yeoman, 9pm, no cover

2) Crush, 6pm, no cover

2) Tandymonium, 6pm, M, no cover Mike Furlong, 6pm, Tu, no cover The Look, 6pm, W, no cover

2) John Dawson Band, 8pm, no cover

2) John Dawson Band, 8pm, no cover 3) Lee Brice, 8pm, $65-$75

2) Rock River, 6pm, no cover

2) Rock River, 6pm, M, no cover Hans Eberbach, 6pm, Tu, W, no cover

1) KONGOS, Mother Mother, 8pm, $20-$23

2) Grateful Bluegrass Boys, 10pm, no cover

1) Dead Winter Carpenters, Scott Law, Ross James’ Cosmic Twang, 9pm, $18-$20

2) The Hellenbacks, 10:30pm, no cover

2) The Hellenbacks, 10:30pm, no cover 3) DJ Roni V, 9pm, no cover

2) The Hellenbacks, 10:30pm, no cover 3) DJ Roni V, 9pm, no cover

2) The Hellenbacks, 10:30pm, no cover

2) DJ Bird & Montague, Tu, 10:30pm, no cover Audioboxx, 10:30pm, W, no cover

2) DJ Carnage, 10pm, $25 3) Grand Country Nights with DJ Colt Ainsworth, 10pm, no cover

2) DJ Peeti V, 10pm, $20 3) Grand Country Nights with DJ Colt Ainsworth, 10pm, no cover

2) DJ JB, DJ Josbeatz, 10pm, $20 3) Arty The Party, 9pm, no cover

2) DJ SN1, 10pm, $20 3) Arty The Party, 9pm, no cover

1) The Rat Pack Is Back, 7:30pm, $27.06-$37.15 3) Take 2, 9pm, no cover

1) The Rat Pack Is Back, 7:30pm, $27.06-$37.15 3) Take 2, 9pm, no cover

Bobby G, 9pm, no cover

Audioboxx, 10pm, no cover

Audioboxx, 10pm, no cover

DJ Chris English, 7pm, no cover

Patrick Walsh, 9pm, M, no cover Bread & Butter, 9pm, Tu, no cover Sierra Gypsies, 9pm, W, no cover

2) Johnzo West & The Wayward Souls, 7pm, no cover

2) Johnzo West & The Wayward Souls, 8pm, no cover 3) Latin Dance Social, 7:30pm, $10-$20

2) Johnzo West & The Wayward Souls, 8pm, no cover 3) Hedspin, 10pm, $20

2) Max Minardi, 6pm, no cover

2) Max Minardi, 6pm, M, Tu, W, no cover

Boomtown CAsino

2100 Garson Rd., Verdi; (775) 345-6000 1) Event Center 2) Guitar Bar

CARson VAlley inn

DJ Carnage May 19, 10 p.m.

Grand Sierra Resort 2500 E. Second St. 789-2000

2) Roem Baur, 7pm, no cover 1627 Hwy. 395, Minden; (775) 782-9711 1) Valley Ballroom 2) Cabaret Lounge 3) TJ’s Corral

CRystAl BAy CluB

14 Hwy. 28, Crystal Bay; (775) 833-6333 1) Crown Room 2) Red Room

eldoRAdo ResoRt CAsino 345 N. Virginia St., (775) 786-5700 1) Theater 2) Brew Brothers 3) NoVi

GRAnd sieRRA ResoRt

Karaoke O’Cleary’s Irish Pub, 1330 Scheels Drive, Ste. 250, Sparks, (775) 359-1209: Bobby Dee Karaoke/Dance Party, Thu, 6pm, no cover The Point, 1601 S. Virginia St., (775) 3223001: Karaoke, Thu-Sat, 7pm, no cover Spiro’s Sports Bar & Grille, 1475 E. Prater Way, Ste.103, Sparks, (775) 356-6000: Karaoke, Fri-Sat, 9pm, no cover West 2nd Street Bar, 118 W. Second St., (775) 348-7976: Karaoke, Mon-Sun, 9pm, no cover

2) Lex Nightclub Thursdays, 10pm, $15 2500 E. Second St., (775) 789-2000 1) Grand Theater 2) Lex Nightclub 3) Sports Book

HARRAH’s lAke tAHoe

15 Hwy. 50, Stateline; (775) 588-6611 1) South Shore Room 2) Peek Nightclub 3) Center Stage Lounge

HARRAH’s Reno

1) The Rat Pack Is Back, 219 N. Center St., (775) 788-2900 7:30pm, $27.06-$37.15 1) Sammy’s Showroom 2) The Zone 3) Sapphire Lounge 4) Plaza 5) Convention Center

HARVeys lAke tAHoe

18 US-50, Stateline; (775) 588-2411

peppeRmill ResoRt spA CAsino

2707 S. Virginia St., (775) 826-2121 1) Tuscany Ballroom 2) Terrace Lounge 3) Edge

sAnds ReGenCy CAsino Hotel

3) Buddy Emmer and guest, 8pm, Tu, no cover

The Utility Players Present: Recess, 8pm, $15

345 N Arlington Ave., (775) 348-2200

silVeR leGACy ResoRt CAsino

407 N. Virginia St., (775) 325-7401 4) DJ Punktematrix, 9pm, no cover 1) Grand Exposition Hall 2) Rum Bullions Island Bar 3) Aura Ultra Lounge 4) Silver Baron Lounge

2) Fresh, 9pm, no cover 4) Mike Furlong, 9pm, no cover

2) Fresh, 9pm, no cover 3) Seduction Saturdays, 9pm, $5 4) Mike Furlong, 9pm, no cover

4) DJ Kronik, 9pm, no cover

Bam! Dog: $10 gift certificates, you pay

get more, . s s e l d n e p s gift ceRtificateS to the beSt RN&R SweetdealS haS diScouNt aviNgS with Sweet SaviNgS placeS iN towN! SatiSfy youR cR RS, pubS & moRe: at theSe local ReStauRaNtS, ba

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26 | RN&R | 05.18.17

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Bazaar EuropEan DEli & CafE: $10 gift certificates, you pay BEEfy’s: $10 gift certificates, you pay

$5 $5 $5

Calafuria:

$25 gift certificates, you pay $12.50 CraftED palEttE: $5 gift certificates, you pay

$2

imBiB Custom BrEws:

$25 gift certificates, you pay $12.50 lEaD Dog BrEwing Co.:

$25 gift certificates, you pay $12.50 mEllow fEllow gastropuB: $10 gift certificates, you pay nikos grEEk kitChEn: $10 gift certificates, you pay pinon BottlE Company: $10 gift certificates, you pay

$5 $5 $5

rEno BrEw BikE: $66 gift certificates, you pay ryan’s saloon & BroilEr: $10 gift certificates, you pay six four growlErs: $20 gift certificates, you pay soul spaCE: $22 gift certificates, you pay squEEzE in: $20 gift certificates, you pay tEmplE yoga: $18 gift certificates, you pay

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Photo by anne stoKes

Bhang Cherry Milk Chocolate Bar

by Daniel barnes

Love at First Bite

For more information on advertising, contact your RN&R advertising representative today.

(775) 324-4440

Bhang Cherry Milk Chocolate Bar Review

Ease of Use ...........★ ★ ★ ★ ★

T

Value .....................★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Discretion ..............★ ★ ★ ★ ✩ Potency .................★ ★ ★ ★ ★

he more that you sample medical cannabis candies, the more you notice the inconsistency of the products. All of them are highly capable as marijuana delivery mechanisms, but taste and texture can vary wildly.

That’s one of the reasons that the Bhang Cherry Milk Chocolate Bar, a fourtime Cannabis Cup champion, is such a treat. A 180mg, foil-wrapped candy segmented into four sections, the bar is made from 52 percent South American cocoa butter, as well as real cherries, sugar, milk and vanilla. The package advises newbies to “eat only 1/2 of one segment and wait a minimum of one hour before consuming another segment.”

In a rare display of restraint, I elect to follow the consumption advice, cleanly breaking off one of the four segments and roughly snapping it in half. Just from the enticing aroma of cocoa butter and cherries, it would appear that the Bhang Cherry Milk Chocolate Bar is made from

quality ingredients, and the delicious first bite only confirms that suspicion.

It balances rich and velvety chocolate with the brightness and texture of the cherries, and while I generally don’t go for chocolate unless it’s concealing butterscotch or caramel, this thing is

If it didn’t contain a potent blend of THC, CBD and CBN strains, I could have plowed through the entire bar. legitimately delicious. If it didn’t contain a potent blend of THC, CBD and CBN strains, I could have plowed through the entire bar. At any rate, it certainly didn’t take a full hour to kick in, as I started feeling warm and fuzzy after 30 minutes.

Cannabis patients and chocolate connoisseurs rejoice!

Produced by N&R Publications, a division of News & Review.

05.18.17 | RN&R | 27

28 | RN&R | 05.18.17

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05.18.17 | RN&R | 29

FOR THE WEEK OF MAY 18, 2017 For a complete listing of this week’s events or to post events to our online calendar, visit www.newsreview.com.

IDENTIFYING WILDFLOWERS 101: Join botanist Emma Wynn to find out how identify local wildflowers. Sat 5/20, 2pm. Free. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mount Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948.

LAKE MANSION GUIDED TOURS CELEBRATION: Lake Mansion Guided Tours celebrates Historic Preservation Month with guided tours. No registration required. Fri 5/19, noon. Free. Lake Mansion, 250 Court St., (775) 826-6100.

LARRY WILSON: The local magician presents a program illustrating the scientific principles that make his illusions possible. Tue, 5/23, 5:30-6:30pm. Free.

Spanish Springs Library, 7100 Pyramid Way, Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1800.

MINI-BIOBLITZ SERIES: Truckee Meadows Parks Foundation needs help gathering accurate data to reflect the health of local parks and habitats. BioBlitz is a day where attendees attempt to record and identify all forms of wildlife side-by-side with local experts and scientists. Sat 5/20, 9am-1pm. Free. Bartley Ranch Regional Park, 6000 Bartley Ranch Road, (775) 453-4791.

NAMI WALK AND TALK: The National Alliance on Mental Illness Northern Nevada holds its mental health gathering featuring music, food, speakers and resources.

Sat 5/20, 9am. Free. The Bridge Church, 1330 Foster Drive, (775) 285-6264.

Chili on the Comstock

5/20:

More than 30 chili cooks will compete for a spot in the International Chili Society World Finals during the 34th annual chili cook-off on Friday and Saturday, May 20-21, in Virginia City. Those with strong constitutions can try a variety of chili ranging from $5 for four samples to $10 for 10 samples. Wash it all down with a cold drink (or four) during the Fireball Saloon Crawl. Purchase a cup and sample a variety of themed specialty drinks at participating saloons from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday. Crawl tickets are $15. On Sunday, visitors can build up an appetite before filling their bellies during the Fun with the Runs 5K race through the historic boom town, which kicks off at 10 a.m. Entry fees are $30 for adults and $15 for children ages 5-12. The cook-off takes place along C Street from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. both days of the event. Admission is free. Call 847-7500 or visit www.visitvirginiacitynv.com.

EvEnTs

AN EVENING WITH MIKALEE BYERMAN: Sundance Books and Music celebrates the release of the local writer’s new book 100 Things to Do in Reno Before You Die with a presentation, Q&A session and book signing. Wed, 5/24, 7-8:30pm. Free.

Sundance Books and Music, 121 California Ave., (775) 786-1188.

A CONVERSATION WITH DENNIS MCBRIDE AND JEFF AUER: The historians discuss McBride’s book Out of the Neon Closet.

Tu, 5/23, 6:30pm. Free. Sundance Books and Music, 121 California Ave., (775) 786-1188.

AN AFTERNOON WITH JIM HULSE: Sundance

A NEVADA ADVENTURE BUS TRIP: Retired

Books and Music celebrates the release of the author’s new book A Great Basin Mosaic. Sat, 5/20, 2:30pm. Free.

Sundance Books and Music, 121 California Ave., (775) 786-1188.

AN EVENING WITH JEREMY BENSON: Sundance Books and Music celebrates the release of the author’s new book Mountain Bike Tahoe: 50 Singletrack Routes with a presentation, Q&A session and book signing. Thu, 5/18, 7-8:30pm. Free.

Sundance Books and Music, 121 California Ave., (775) 786-1188.

30 | RN&R | 05.18.17

Nevada history teacher Fred Horlacher will debunk myths about Highway 50 aka “The Loneliest Highway in America” during this bus tour through Nevada, with an overnight stay in Eureka. The itinerary includes stops at Grimes Point, Sand Mountain, Ichthyosaur State Park, among other relevant locations.

Orientation prior to the trip will be held at the Sparks Museum & Cultural Center on Thursday, May 18, at 7pm. The bus leaves at 6am on Friday, May 19, and will return at about 7pm on Saturday, May 20. Thu, 5/18, 7pm; Fri, 5/19, 6am; $250$275. Sparks Museum & Cultural Center, 814 Victorian Ave., Sparks, (775) 355-1144.

ASTRONOMY—JUPITER’S MOONS: Members of the Astronomical Society of Nevada discuss Jupiter’s four largest moons—Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto—known as the Galilean Satellites, after the astronomer Galileo, who observed them in 1610. The presentation will begin inside the Visitor Center at 7pm, followed immediately by outdoor telescope viewing. Sat 5/20, 7pm. Free. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mount Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948.

BIG AUCTIONS AND BIG DEALS: Robert Rodriguez will discuss his experiences at several major American coin auctions during this month’s Reno Coin Club meeting. The gathering features early bird prizes, quarter pot, raffle and more.

Tue 5/23, 7pm. Free. Denny’s, 205 Nugget Ave., Sparks, (775) 815-8622.

THE FOLK AND THE LORE: This month’s event offers an evening of bilingual storytelling and films based on “Latino Reno.” Doors open at 5pm for social hour and chez louie cash bar. Stories begin at 6pm. Sat 5/20, 5pm. $8-$12. Nevada Museum of Art, 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 329-3333.

RENO STREET FOOD: The gourmet street food event features over 30 food, craft dessert, beer, wine and mixed drink vendors. Local musicians provide free live entertainment each week. Reno Street Food will be held every Friday night from May 19-Sept. 29. Fri 5/19, 5pm. Free. Idlewild Park, 1900 Idlewild Drive, (775) 825-2665.

SATURDAY NIGHT STAR PARTY: The Jack C. Davis Observatory hosts free star parties every Saturday night year round, starting at sunset. The evening starts with a lecture on one of numerous topics and then concludes with guided star viewing by one of the observatory’s astronomers. Sat 5/20, 6pm. Free. Jack C. Davis Observatory, 2699 Van Patten Drive, Carson City, (775) 857-3033.

SPRING WINGS BIRD FESTIVAL: The annual event celebrates the spring migration of hundreds of species of birds that stop in Fallon, the Lahontan Valley Wetlands and Stillwater Wildlife Refuge as they travel on the Pacific Flyway. The weekend event features field trips to birding and wildlife hot spots in the Lahonton Valley wetlands, as well as hands-on activities, displays, keynote speakers and food trucks. The Bugs and Butterflies Insect Petting Zoo on May 19 will be held at the E.C. Best Elementary School Gym, 750 E. Williams Ave, Fallon. Fri, 5/19, 2:30pm, Sat, 5/20, 9am. Free for most events. Fallon Convention Center, 100 Campus Way, Fallon, www.springwings.org.

STEAM EXPO: The students and faculty of Coral Academy of Science will host the fourth annual event aimed to stimulate awareness, interest and discussion in the community about the importance of an integrated curriculum that includes the sciences, technology, engineering, arts and mathematics. The event includes presentations, live demonstrations and hands-on activities. Sat 5/20, 11am. Free.

Coral Academy of Science High School, 6275 Neil Road, (775) 331-4555.

STUDENT-MADE HOUSE CONSTRUCTION FAIR: Building trade students at Reno’s ACE High School are building a 1,540-squarefoot single-family home. Their work will be on display and the students responsible for the building of the home will be on hand to answer questions.

This event will be on a live construction site. Participants assume all of the risks of participating in any/all activities associated with this event. Tue, 5/23, 4pm. Free. ACE High School Student-Made Homes, 4923 Hombre Way, (775) 331-4555.

ART ART INDEED ABSTRACT ART GALLERY: Wine Walk and Abstract Art. More than 80 paintings from local abstract artists on are display. A portion of proceeds will support Art Spot Reno. Light snacks and wine will be available. Sat, 5/20, 1:30-5pm. Free. Art Indeed Abstract Art Gallery, 142 Bell St., (775) 846-8367.

ARTE ITALIA: Color Fusion—The Art of Dick Marconi. Abstract works by ItalianAmerican artist Dick Marconi. The exhibition runs through July 30. Thu, 5/18-Sun, 5/21, noon. Free. Arte Italia, 442 Flint St., www.arteitaliausa.org.

ARTIST CO-OP GALLERY RENO: Myriad of Miniatures. Artist Co-op members and invited guests have created small gems in a variety of subjects. The show runs through May 31. Thu, 5/18-Wed, 5/24, 11am4pm. Free. Artist Co-op Gallery Reno, 627 Mill St., (775) 322-8896.

CCAI COURTHOUSE GALLERY: From the Ground Up. The Capital City Arts Initiative presents work by artist Gil Martin. The exhibit will be in the gallery through May 24. Thu, 5/18-Fri, 5/19; Mon, 5/22-Wed, 5/24, 8am. Free. CCAI Courthouse Gallery, 885 E. Musser St., Carson City, www.arts-initiative.org.

CARSON CITY VISITORS BUREAU: Great Basin Native Artists. Featured artists are Ben Aleck, Topaz Jones, Jack Malotte, Melissa Melero-Moose and Topah Spoonhunter.

The exhibition closes June 19. Thu, 5/18Sat, 5/20; Mon, 5/22-Wed, 5/24, 9am. Free.

Carson City Visitors Bureau, 716 N. Carson St., Carson City, (775) 687-7410.

MCKINLEY ARTS & CULTURE CENTER: Animalia: Jennifer Wildermuth Reyes. Wildermuth Reyes’ work focuses primarily on animals and how they correspond to development of human culture and thought process. The exhibit runs through June 16. Thu, 5/18-Fri, 5/19; Mon, 5/22-Wed, 5/24, 9am-5pm. Free; Historic Fort Churchill.

Photographer Robert Rollins seeks to tell stories with his iconic imagery of the American West—and in this case, the historic Fort Churchill. The exhibition runs through June 16. Thu, 5/18-Fri, 5/19; Mon, 5/22-Wed, 5/24, 9am-5pm. Free; My Nevada in Black & White. As an environmental scientist, Will Barber has a way of seeing the “ordered chaos” of our natural surroundings and visually expresses this concept through focusing on single elements and letting the viewer focus on the multiple aspects of the photographs. The exhibition runs through June 16. Thu, 5/18-Fri, 5/19; Mon, 5/22-Wed, 5/24, 9am-5pm. Free.

McKinley Arts & Culture Center, 925 Riverside Drive, (775) 334-6264.

RENO ART WORKS: RAW Open Studios. Meet the resident artists, explore the studios and buy local art. Sat 5/20, noon. Free.

Reno Art Works, 1995 Dickerson Road, (775) 391-0278, www.renoartworks.org.

SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY IN THE CHURCH FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Additions Recent Permanent Collection Acquisitions.

Over the past year, University Galleries has added three major collections of art in addition to several individual acquisitions to the Department of Art’s permanent collection. This show reviews the highlights of these exhibitions, including large-scale paintings by Richard Etts, several dozen photographs including works by contemporary artists Joel Meyerowitz, Paul Sepuya and Darryl Curran, ceramic sculpture

by Mary Bowron, beaded baskets by Rebecca Eagle and Southwest ceramic pottery. Thu, 5/18, noon-4pm. Free; Tree Lines. Valerie Cohen’s exhibition features pen and ink line drawings of pine trees growing at or near the timberline in the Sierra Nevada and White Mountain Ranges of Eastern California. Cohen draws the geometric form of each tree she’s chosen to represent, but she also reveals how it grows and where, and how cold the wind is, and how many hundreds or thousands of years the tree has been alive through the thoughtful addition of her own artist voice. Thu, 5/18, noon-4pm. Free. 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278, www.unr.edu/arts.

ST. MARY’S ART CENTER: St. Mary’s Art Center Spring Exhibition. Artwork by Monika Piper Johnson, Ronnie Rector, Will Barber, Mimi Patrick, Casey Clark, Anthony Arevalo, Anna Smith, Grey Wolf Leather Works and Pura Vida Sierras Art is on display through May 28. Fri, 5/19Sun, 5/21, 11am-4pm. Free. St. 55 N. R St., Virginia City, (775) 847-7774.

THE HOLLAND PROJECT: Hollow Home.

Michelle Laxalt’s newest body of work, combines materials such as clay, fabric and hair to create abstract sculptural and textile pieces that serve as reminders of the human body and pay homage to all its glorious complexity, strength and vulnerable fragility. Her artwork will be on display through May 26. Thu, 5/18Fri, 5/19; Tue, 5/23-Wed, 5/24, 3-6pm. Free.

140 Vesta St., (775) 742-1858.

WILBUR D. MAY MUSEUM: Honoring Mother Nature Art Exhibition & Sale. This new art exhibition from the Sierra Watercolor Society will feature a variety of watercolor paintings that depict plants, nature, flowers, and other spring themes. The show runs through June 4. Thu, 5/18-Sun, 5/21; Wed, 5/24, 10am. Free. 1595 N. Sierra St., (775) 785-5961.

The Other Mozart

5/20:

Churchill Arts Council presents this one-woman show from the Little Matchstick Factory that tells the story of Maria Anna Mozart. Nicknamed “Nannerl,” she was a prodigy, keyboard virtuoso and composer like her more famous brother Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Although she performed throughout Europe with her brother, to equal acclaim, her talent had been overlooked for centuries. The show begins at 8 p.m. on Saturday, May 20, at Oats Park Art Center, 151 E. Park St., Fallon. Tickets are $17 for Churchill Arts Council members and $20 for non-members. There will be a Q & A session and reception with actress Samantha Hoefer following the performance. Call (775) 423-1440 or visit www.churchillarts.org.

MUSEUMS NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: A Place in the Country: Aboriginal Australian Paintings. On view through May 21; The Altered Landscape: Selections from the Carol Franc Buck Altered Landscape Photography Collection. On display through July 5; The John and Mary Lou Paxton Collection. On view through June 4; Kristin Posehn Architectures. On display through May 21; Maynard Dixon: The Paltenghi Collections. On view through July 16; Miradas Ancient Roots in Modern and Contemporary Mexican Art. On display through July 16; Peter Stichbury: Anatomy of a Phenomenon. On view through May 28; Spinifex: Aboriginal Paintings from the Robert Kaplan and Margaret Levi Collection. On display through May 28. Thu, 5/18-Sun, 5/21; Wed, 5/24, 10am. $1-$10. 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 329-3333.

TERRY LEE WELLS NEVADA DISCOVERY MUSEUM (THE DISCOVERY): Science Underground. Located on the museum’s lower level, Science Underground features an eclectic, subterranean collection of exhibits from The Discovery’s first five years, including big, blue building blocks, Electrosketch, Nano Science, an oversized Nevada puzzle, the Tube-oPhone and a walking piano. Thu, 5/18-Sat,

5/20, 10am; Sun, 5/21, noon; Tue 5/23-Wed 5/24, 10am. $10-$12. 490 S. Center St.,

FILM IXCANUL (VOLCANO): In Jayro Bustamante’s 2015 film, María, a 17-year-old Mayan (Kaqchikel) girl, lives on the slopes of an active volcano in Guatemala where she and her family cultivate coffee. She has been promised to a man in an arranged marriage but wants to emigrate to the United States. Sun, 5/21, 6pm. $5$9. Artemisia MovieHouse, Good Luck Macbeth Theatre, 713 S. Virginia St., (775) 337-9111, artemisiamovies.weebly.com.

MUSIC THE LORD OF THE RINGS: The Reno Wind Symphony will present this concert featuring Johan De Meij’s Symphony No. 1 “The Lord of the Rings.” Sun 5/21, 3pm. $5. Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278.

MUSIC INDUSTRY NIGHT: Drink local beer, plan upcoming projects and learn about events going on in the area. Sometimes a band or two will drop in to perform. Wed, 5/24, 9pm. Free. St. James Infirmary, 445 California Ave., (775) 657-8484.

RHYTHM & RAWHIDE: This countrywestern flavored fundraiser for the Reno Philharmonic and the Reno Rodeo Foundation features the Reno Phil conducted by Laura Jackson with special guest vocalists Brett James and Chris Destefano of Music City Hit Makers. Fri, 5/19, 6pm. $250. Silver Legacy Resort Casino, 407 N. Virginia St., (775) 323-6393.

SUNDAY MUSIC BRUNCH: Enjoy live music by the Chuck Hughes Band and brunch presented by chez louie. The menu features artful dishes, mimosas and a Bloody Mary Bar. Reservations encouraged. Sun, 5/21, 10am-2pm.

Nevada Museum of Art, 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 284-2921, www.nevadaart.org.

TO OPERA WITH LOVE: Sierra Music Society’s program features works by Puccini, Mozart, Verdi, R. Strauss, RimskyKorsakov and more performed by soprano Irina Kasimova and baritone/ tenor Chris Nelson, accompanied by Bryan Chuan. Sat, 5/20, 5pm. $10-$15.

Shepard of the Sierra Lutheran Church, 3680 US Highway 395 South, Carson City, (775) 233-5105, poperanv.org.

ONSTAGE A BEHANDING IN SPOKANE: In Martin McDonagh’s dark comedy, Carmichael has been searching for his missing left hand for almost half a century. Enter two bickering lovebirds with a hand to sell, and a hotel clerk with an aversion to gunfire and get set for a roller coaster of love, hate, desperation and hope. Thu, 5/18-Sat, 5/20, 7:30pm; Sun, 5/21, 2pm. $12$20. Restless Artists’ Theatre Company, 295 20th St., Sparks, (775) 525-3074,

BREMEN TOWN MUSICIANS: Brüka Theatre for Children presents this interactive retelling of the Brothers Grimm classic about four farm animals no longer needed by their masters and who are convinced they can earn a good living as musicians. They leave their homes and pursue their dreams. Wed, 5/24, 4:30pm. Sierra View Library, Reno Town Mall, 4001 S. Virginia St., (775) 827-3232.

GUGU DRUM GROUP: Arts For The Schools presents the theatrical music group hailing from Shanghai. GuGu Drum Group tells ancient Chinese fables and tales through theatrical drum vignettes. Fri, 5/19, 7pm. $5-$45. North Tahoe High School Theater, 2945 Polaris Road, Tahoe City, (530) 582-8278.

(775) 786-1000, nvdm.org.

listings continued on page 32

05.18.17 | RN&R | 31

HOOTCHY KOOTCHY GIRLS VINTAGE CABARET SPRING FLING: The cabaret show combines Hollywood glamour and kitschy vaudeville. Fri, 5/19, 7:30pm; Sat, 5/20, 5pm & 8pm. $22-$25. Pioneer Underground, 100 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-5233.

MURDER IN GREEN MEADOWS: Two married couples meet in the small suburban town of Green Meadows, Illinois. Together, the four fast friends spend their days playing games, gossiping, telling jokes and lending a hand to one another. However, as the months go by and masks begins to slip between the two households, a whirlwind of startling confessions and betrayals leaves one of them dead and the rest to pick up (or cover) the pieces.

Performances are Thursday-Sunday through May 28. Thu, 5/18-Sat, 5/20, 7:30pm; Sun 5/21, 2pm. $15-$22. Reno Little Theater, (775) 813-8900.

RODGERS & HAMMERSTEIN’S CINDERELLA: The Tony Award-winning Broadway musical is a contemporary take on the classic tale and features some of the song-writing duo’s most beloved songs. Fri, 5/19, 8pm; Sat 5/20, 2pm & 7pm; Sun, 5/21, 1pm & 7pm. $55$85. Pioneer Center for the Performing Arts, 100 S. Virginia St., (775) 686-6600, pioneercenter.com.

SPORTS & FITNESS ANIMAL ARK STAMPEDE 5K RUN: The event includes family-friendly activities, face painting, reduced or free admission to the Animal Ark, vendors and exhibitors.

There are three runs this year: the 5K, a kids’ 1-mile and a tot run. Sat, 5/20, 8:30am. $10-$35 race entry, half-off admission fees. Animal Ark Wildlife Sanctuary, 1265 Deerlodge Road, (775) 970-3431, www.animalark.org.

GUIDED HIKE: Enjoy a guided hike through Galena Creek Park with a local specialist. Please bring appropriate clothing and plenty of water. The hike intensity varies, depending on the audience. Sat, 5/20, 10am. Free, donations welcome. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mount Rose Highway, www.galenacreekvisitorcenter.org.

RENO 1868 FC : Reno’s professional soccer

club takes on the Seattle Sounders II. Sat, 5/20, 7:30pm. $11-$24. Greater Nevada Field, 250 Evans Ave., (775) 334-7000.

RENO ACES: The minor league baseball team plays the Round Rock Express, Thu, 5/18, 11:35am. $8-$33. Greater Nevada Field, 250 Evans Ave., www.renoaces.com.

STUPID F**KING BIRD: Brüka Theatre presents Aaron Posner’s twisted dramedy and adaptation of Anton Chekhov’s masterpiece The Seagull—a story about love and loss, life and death, art and artifice. In this edgy, funny and contemporary retelling of an old story, Posner has discovered the new forms that Chekhov’s protagonist called for over a century ago, breaking down barriers between what is real and what is imaginary. The play opens with a post-show opening night champagne reception and appetizers on May 19. The show runs weekly Thursday through Sunday through June 17. Evening shows begin at 8pm. Fri, 5/19-Sat, 5/20, 8pm; Sun, 5/21, 2pm. $18-$25. Brüka Theatre, 99 N. Virginia St., (775) 323-3221.

TITUS ANDRONICUS: Titus Andronicus is locked in a violent cycle of revenge with Tamora that spins wildly out of control in one of Shakespeare’s most bloody plays. Good Luck Macbeth’s production will feature an all-female cast and will be set against the backdrop of a women’s prison in Nevada in the 1920s. Thu, 5/18 -Sat, 5/20, 7:30pm. $15-$18. Good Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S. Virginia St., (775) 322-3716.

UPSTAGE RENO CELEBRITY LIP SYNC BATTLE: The lip sync battle/musical reality competition brings together participants from media, local non-profits and all walks of life. This family-friendly event features contestants lipsyncing musical hits while competing in an elimination round for a chance to win the champion’s belt and bragging rights in the final round. A panel of celebrity judges will choose the best performance based on the level of creativity and style. The event is a fundraiser for Disability Resources & New2U Computers. Sat, 5/20, 7pm. $49$690. Circus Circus, 500 N. Sierra St., (775) 329-1126.

32 | RN&R | 05.18.17

CLASSES C@PITAL CODERS: Learn how to code or improve coding skills at Carson City Library’s new club The C@pital Coders.

The club will practice coding through activities using NC Lab, Makey Makey, Scratch and more. Tue, 5/23, 4pm. Free.

Carson City Library, 900 N. Roop St., Carson City, (775) 887-2244.

MOUNTAIN DULCIMER WORKSHOP: This beginners class will be taught by Rex Reed. Learn about the construction of a mountain dulcimer, its history, how to tune it and play it and how to read mountain dulcimer tablature. By the end of the class, you should be able to play a simple song or two, and if time permits, a duet. Sat, 5/20, 9:30am. $50. Mountain Music Parlor, 735 S. Center St., 775-8435500, www.mountainmusicparlor.com.

OPEN ART DAY WORKSHOP: Pop in to Reno Art Works, check out the latest gallery show and then get creative for two hours. A project will be provided each session and some days have guest teachers..

All supplies are provided. All experience levels welcome. Fri, 5/19, 11am. Free. Reno Art Works, 1995 Dickerson Road, (775) 391-0278, www.renoartworks.org.

PORTRAIT SOCIETY OF RENO: PSOR meets every Wednesday. There is painting from life models (no instruction). All artists are welcome. Wed, 5/24, 9am. $10. Nevada Fine Arts, 1301 S. Virginia St., 775) 786-1128, www.nvfinearts.com.

WATERCOLOR PAINTERS OPEN GROUP: This is a group of watercolor painters who paint together and learn from each other. Fri, 5/19, 9am. $5. Nevada Fine Arts, 1301 S. Virginia St, (775) 786-1128.

WEDNESDAY WORKSHOPS: Multiple hour-long workshops and presentations on various topics. Topics vary from consciousness to art, music, social networking, theater, etc. Contact ksweetsparlormint@gmail. com if you are interested in facilitating a workshop. Wed, 5/24, 6pm. The Potentialist Workshop, 836 E. Second St.. www.potentialistworkshop.com.

COMMUNITY BREAST CANCER—ON WITH LIFE: Saint Mary’s team of social workers and educators, as well as breast cancer survivors, meet weekly to discuss cancer survivorship.

The group meets in the Tumor Board Conference Room. Tue, 5/23, 4:30pm. Free.

Saint Mary’s Center for Health, 645 N. Arlington Ave., Suite 120, (775) 722-1222, .

BRIDGE GROUP: Have fun playing bridge in a friendly group setting. All skill levels welcome. Fri, 5/19, 1-4pm. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650-A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190.

FAMILY GAME NIGHT: Find a table and play a

game. Fri, 5/19, 4-6pm. Free. Sierra View Library, Reno Town Mall, 4001 S. Virginia St., (775) 827-3232.

KNITTING AND CROCHET CLUB: This group meets on the second and third Saturday of each month and is open to all who knit or crochet. Sat, 5/20, 1-3pm. Free.

Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb Drive, (775) 787-4100.

KNITTING GROUP: Learn to knit at this group that meets every first and third Sunday. Sun, 5/21, 1-3pm. Free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100 Pyramid Way, Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1800.

MYSTERY BOOK CLUB: This month’s book selection is Family Jewels by Stuart Woods. Sun, 5/21, 1-2pm. Free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100 Pyramid Way, Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1800.

SO LITERARY BOOK CLUB: This book club

meets every third Thursday. Thu, 5/18, 2-4pm. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190.

TUESDAY NIGHT YARN CREW: All skill levels and yard crafts are welcome to this “sit and knit” group. Tue, 5/23, 5:30-7pm. Free.

South Valleys Library, 15650-A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190.

VOLUNTEER MIXER: Girl Scouts of the Sierra Nevada seeks enthusiastic people who want to make a positive impact in girls’ lives and expand their own world beyond what they thought it could be. Girl Scouts will provide training, mentoring and a variety of ongoing support and information systems. Thu, 5/18, 6pm. Free. Round Table Golden Valley, 1075 North Hills Blvd., Ste. 110, (775) 322-0642.

by AMY ALKON

Tale of whoa A dear friend who’s also a co-worker just went through a breakup with her girlfriend, and she’s devastated. I don’t know what to tell her. I’ve tried everything: “You dodged a bullet; it’s a blessing in disguise; you’re better off without her; you should get back out there.” Everything I say seems to be wrong, and she gets angry. She’s crying and isolating a lot, and I want to help, but I don’t know how.

Consider that we don’t say to people who are grieving over someone who’s died, “C’mon, think positive!

One less person you have to call!

And didn’t he live kinda far out of town? Be glad you don’t have to make that schlep anymore!” It helps to bear in mind the theory that evolutionary psychologist and psychiatrist Randolph Nesse has about sadness (and its goth sister, depression). These emotions, like all emotions, have functions. For example, being sad, like about a breakup, leads us to reflect on where we may have gone wrong—and possibly gain insights that will keep us from making return visits to Boohooville.

Also, note that not all emotions advertise—that is, have visible outward signs announcing to those around us how we’re feeling. Take envy. When your boss gives your rival the promotion you wanted, there’s no specific facial expression that conveys your longing for a well-targeted meteorite to take her out Wizard of Oz-style. However, Nesse suggests that one of the possible evolutionary reasons for the very visible signs of sadness may be to signal to others that we need care—a message that gets sent loud and clear when one is sobbing into the shoulder of the bewildered Office Depot delivery guy.

Being mindful that sadness has a job to do should help you stop pressing your friend to see the “good” in “goodbye.” Probably, the kindest thing you can do is to try to be comfortable with her discomfort and just be there for her. Hand her a Kleenex and listen instead of attempting to drag her kicking and screaming to closure: “It’s 10 a.m.

Aren’t you overdue for a round of cartwheels?”

Failure to lunch I’m not ready for a relationship now, so I’m having a friendswith-benefits thing with this guy.

He typically takes me out to eat before we hook up. However, a couple of times, he had someplace to be right afterward, so he didn’t take me out to eat first. It really bothered me, and I’m not sure why. I guess I felt used, which is weird because we’re really “using” each other.

Evolutionary psychologists Leda Cosmides and John Tooby explain that emotions are actually evolved motivational programs. They guide our behavior in the present according to what solved problems that recurred in our ancestral environment. Many of the threats and opportunities they help us manage are universal to male and female humans.

However, there’s only one sex that gets pregnant and stuck with a kid to feed. So women, but not men, evolved to look for signs of a sex partner’s ability and willingness to “invest.” Even today, when that investment isn’t there, female emotions are all “Ahem, missy!”— making you feel bad, hurt, disrespected, used. Wanting to feel better is what motivates you to take corrective action. As anthropologist John Marshall Townsend observed about female subjects from his research: “Even when women voluntarily engaged in casual sex and expressed extremely permissive attitudes, their emotions urged them to test and evaluate investment, detect shirking and false advertising, and remedy deficiencies in investment.”

Your emotions are running on very old software, so as far as they’re concerned, there’s no such thing as sex without possible mommyhood. If you’re going to make casual sex work for you, you need to see that it works for your emotions. Basically, your body is your temple, and prospective worshippers need to sacrifice a goat to the goddess—or, at the very least, buy the lady a hamburger. Ω

ERIK HOLLAND

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

05.18.17 | RN&R | 33

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): “A 2-year-old kid is like

using a blender, but you don’t have a top for it,” said comedian Jerry Seinfeld. Would you like to avoid a scenario like that, Aries? Would you prefer not to see what happens if your life has resemblances to turning on a topless blender that’s full of ingredients? Yes? Then please find the top and put it on! And if you can’t locate the proper top, use a dinner plate or newspaper or pizza box. OK? It’s not too late. Even if the blender is already spewing almond milk and banana fragments and protein powder all over the ceiling. Better late than never!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): My pregnant friend

Myrna is determined to avoid giving birth via Caesarean section. She believes that the best way for her son to enter the world is by him doing the hard work of squeezing through the narrow birth canal. That struggle will fortify his willpower and mobilize him to summon equally strenuous efforts in response to future challenges. It’s an interesting theory.

I suggest you consider it as you contemplate how you’re going to get yourself reborn.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I invite you to try the

following meditation: Picture yourself filling garbage bags with stuff that reminds you of what you used to be and don’t want to be any more.

Add anything that feels like decrepit emotional baggage or that serves as a worn-out psychological crutch. When you’ve gathered up all the props and accessories that demoralize you, imagine yourself going to a beach where you build a big bonfire and hurl your mess into the flames. As you dance around the conflagration, exorcise the voices in your head that tell you boring stories about yourself. Sing songs that have as much power to relieve and release you as a spectacular orgasm.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In normal times,

your guardian animal ally might be the turtle, crab, seahorse or manta ray. But in the next three weeks, it’s the cockroach. This unfairly maligned creature is legendary for its power to thrive in virtually any environment, and I think you will have a similar resourcefulness.

Like the cockroach, you will do more than merely cope with awkward adventures and complicated transitions; you will flourish. One caution: It’s possible that your adaptability may bother people who are less flexible and enterprising than you. To keep that from being a problem, be empathetic as you help them adapt. (P.S. Your temporary animal ally is exceptionally well-groomed. Cockroaches clean themselves as much as cats do.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Lady Jane Grey was

crowned Queen of England in July 1553, but she ruled for just nine days before being deposed. I invite you to think back to a time in your own past when victory was short-lived.

Maybe you accomplished a gratifying feat after an arduous struggle, only to have it quickly eclipsed by a twist of fate. Perhaps you finally made it into the limelight but then lost your audience to a distracting brouhaha.

But here’s the good news: Whatever it was— a temporary triumph? incomplete success? nullified conquest?—you will soon have a chance to find redemption for it.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): While shopping at a

funky yard sale, I found the torn-off cover of a book titled You’re a Genius and I can Prove It. Sadly, the rest of the book was not available. Later I searched for it in online bookstores, and found it was out-of-print.

That’s unfortunate, because now would be an excellent time for you to peruse a text like this. Why? Because you need specific, detailed evidence of how unique and compelling you are—concrete data that will provide an antidote to your habitual self-doubts and consecrate your growing sense of self-worth.

Here’s what I suggest you do: Write an essay entitled “I’m an Interesting Character and Here’s the Proof.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Leonardo da Vinci

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wrote a bestiary, an odd little book in which he drew moral conclusions from the behavior of animals. One of his descriptions will be useful for you to contemplate in the near future. It was centered on what he called the “wild ass,” which we might refer to as an undomesticated

donkey. Leonardo said that this beast, “going to the fountain to drink and finding the water muddy, is never too thirsty to wait until it becomes clear before satisfying himself.”

That’s a useful fable to contemplate, Libra. Be patient as you go in search of what’s pure and clean and good for you. (The translation from the Italian is by Oliver Evans.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): My friend Allie works as a matchmaker. She has an instinctive skill at reading the potential chemistry between people. One of her key strategies is to urge her clients to write mission statements.

“What would your ideal marriage look like?” she asks them. Once they have clarified what they want, the process of finding a mate seems to become easier and more fun. In accordance with the astrological omens, Scorpio, I suggest you try this exercise—even if you are already in a committed relationship.

It’s an excellent time to get very specific about the inspired togetherness you’re willing to work hard to create.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In ancient Greek

myth, Tiresias was a prophet who could draw useful revelations by interpreting the singing of birds. Spirits of the dead helped him devise his prognostications, too. He was in constant demand for revelations about the future. But his greatest claim to fame was the fact that a goddess magically transformed him into a woman for seven years. After that, he could speak with authority about how both genders experienced the world. This enhanced his wisdom immeasurably, adding to his oracular power. Are you interested in a less drastic but highly educational lesson, Sagittarius?

Would you like to see life from a very different perspective from the one you’re accustomed to? It’s available to you if you want it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “You remind

me of the parts of myself that I will never have a chance to meet,” writes poet Mariah Gordon-Dyke, addressing a lover. Have you ever felt like saying that to a beloved ally, Capricorn? If so, I have good news: You now have an opportunity to meet and greet parts of yourself that have previously been hidden from you—aspects of your deep soul that up until now you may only have caught glimpses of. Celebrate this homecoming!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I predict that you

won’t be bitten by a dog or embarrassed by a stain or pounced on by a lawyer. Nor will you lose your keys or get yelled at by a friend or oversleep for a big appointment. On the contrary! I think you’ll be wise to expect the best. The following events are quite possible: You may be complimented by a person who’s in a position to help you. You could be invited into a place that had previously been offlimits. While eavesdropping, you might pick up a useful clue, and while daydreaming you could recover an important memory you’d lost. Good luck like this is even more likely to sweep into your life if you work on ripening the most immature part of your personality.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Time out. It’s

intermission. Give yourself permission to be spacious and slow. Then, when you’re sweetly empty—this may take a few days—seek out experiences that appeal primarily to your wild and tender heart as opposed to your wild and jumpy mind. Just forget about the theories you believe in and the ideas you regard as central to your philosophy of life. Instead, work on developing brisk new approaches to your relationship with your feelings. Like what? Become more conscious of them, for example. Express gratitude for what they teach you. Boost your trust for their power to reveal what your mind sometimes hides from you.

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785. And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

by KRis VAgNER

Poet laureate David Lee was Utah’s first poet laureate, beginning in 1997. He recently spent a semester guest teaching at University of Nevada, Reno and living in Silver City. On May 27, he’ll give a reading at 1 p.m. at the Silver City School House, 385 High St., Silver City, and recite poetry during a jazz combo performance that evening at Comma Coffee, 312 S. Carson St., Carson City.

From what I understand, poet laureates get to define their own duties. What did you set out to do when you first got the job?

The governor called me into his office and said, “Do you have an hour?” and he said, “I don’t know what a poet laureate does. Do you?” and I said, “No clue whatsoever.” He said, “I don’t want this to be an honorary position. You’re not a Mormon, but I want you to be like a young Mormon—I want this to be your mission. Your religion really is poetry.

I want you to be in every school in the state. I want you to stay busy spreading the gospel of poetry. But there is not one cent of public money [for this], so you’re going to do it by the seat of your pants.” I covered almost every school district in the state, all of the colleges and universities in the state.

Your poems tend to take place in rural settings, but your work

doesn’t exactly fall into the “cowboy poetry” idiom. What kinds of audiences do you end up reading and writing for?

I had an editor once upon a time who introduced me, both orally and in print, as saying, “David Lee is the poet for people who think they don’t like or can’t understand poetry.” At first I was a little set back, then I thought, maybe that’s who I want to be. If you look back, poetry was a way to tell stories. … The new book [Bluebonnets, Firewheels, and Brown-eyed Susans, or, Poems New and Used From the Bandera Rag and Bone Shop, published this year], it takes place between 1946 and 1962, which were my formative years, and there aren’t that many people left who were there, and I want to write what they talked about and thought about and reflect

their speech patterns as much as I can. That’s what I’m trying to do, be a storyteller and a bit of a cultural historian. … My thought process is to sleep and dream and come up with something that struck me as interesting or idiosyncratic. I usually hold a poem in my head for a long time, a year or a year and a half, sometimes three years. I could usually hold about 14 poems. That was the magic number.

Because I was a teacher and administrator at my university, I didn’t have a lot of time for writing. But I usually took two weeks off in August. I don’t write the stories—they tell me what they want to be. My characters talk to me in my dreams. When I sit down to write the poems, I’m just the vehicle.

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The announcement for your upcoming reading says it’s for “adults and older teens.” Why is that?

I don’t often choose what I’m going to say and the way I’m going to say it. In my poems, there are a lot of hells and damns and son-of-a-bitches. Though, I have had kids as young as third grade come up and recite my poems, including the language, and I said, “Are you really comfortable saying that?”

She said, “Not around my mommy, but around you I’m comfortable saying that.” But I don’t write to be offensive, and I don’t write to upset or offend people. I write to be accurate. Ω

by BRUCE VAN DYKE

Go directly to jail OK, let’s take a look at the now classic pic of President Dum Dum yukking it up with his pals comrades Lavrov and Kislyak, just before their big poker party in the Oval Office. What are some of the takeaways here?

Well, for starters, the last time I saw a hairdo like Twitler’s, it was in the office of a guy who was saying, “Now, what do I gotta do to get you into this truck today?” If Marvel Comics had a villain called the Toad (they do, yes?), his daddy would look exactly like Kislyak (who appears to be on the Steve Bannon fitness program). From their chuckles and chortles, it appears that Trump’s “Comey is no longer my homey” gag went over pretty good. And for a guy who swears that he has nothing to do with the Russians—“nothing at all, I’m tellin’ ya, trust me!!!!”—we keep getting weekly reminders that

this asshole is positively drowning in Russians, rubles and vodka.

So when are us peasants going to finally just say “fuck it,” bring out the pitchforks, light the torches, and march up to the castle in the dead of night to kick a little ass? I’m really not in the mood to hear any more about Special Prosecutors, Independent Commissions, and Bipartisan Blah Blah Woof Woof.

Sure, all that proper process jive would have flown about a month ago, but that choo-choo has pulled out of the station.

Now, it’s time to directly proceed to Impeachment City, where we can finally get a hold of Dum Dum’s tax returns and start filling in the missing pieces of this bizarre, sinister jigsaw puzzle. Let’s get it on already!

It’s time! Twitler very possibly just got a few of our agents killed because he wanted to

give some juicy tidbits of intel to Vlad, via Laffin’ Lavrov and Toad Man. How horrifically ironic is it that this so-called president, who ranted about keeping America safe with his lame-ass travel bans, now appears to be far more of a security risk to our country than any student traveling from Yemen?

Where are the Republicans?

What is their response? Why are they utterly silent? Are they too goddamn busy dumping in their Depends to stand up and say something/anything about these weekly travesties taking place in our White House? The Republican Party—the Invertebrates Choice!

The Republican Party—Slithering to Washington! The Republican Party—Got Spinal Viagra? The Republican Party—You Maroons Actually Voted For Us! Ω

05.18.17 | RN&R | 35

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5/15/17 4:34 PM