NEW YORK FAMILY NOVEMBER 2013

Special Needs Must-Read

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Amanda Peet On Parenting, Playwriting Promoting Children’s Health

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Best Venues, TastY Treats, And Awesome Party Games

Learning Your First Instrument

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contents

NOVEMBER newyorkfamily.com

pg.16 pg.8

pg.42

FEATURES 42 | Amanda’s Second Act After years on both the big and small screens, actress Amanda Peet has added a few more plum roles to her resume: mother of two, childhood vaccination advocate, and playwright 47 | Lights! Camera! Celebration!

Our annual birthday party guide— inspired by some of our favorite kids’ movies—is your roadmap to the city’s best party venues—plus, plenty of fun themes, décor and game ideas, and tasty treats 58 | Work It Out Our career blogger Barri Waltcher helps at-home parents navigate their return to the workplace

FAMILY FUN GUIDE 10 | Ten Great Events For November Power of Poison exhibit, Intrepid Museum’s Scout Day, “Ballerina Swan,” and more

HOME & AWAY 61 | Moms Of Real Estate: Part 2 In the second installment of our “Parents & Real Estate” series, four moms—and real estate power players— dish on neighborhood gems and making smart choices for family living

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New York Family | November 2013

pg.72 66 | Travel A wanderlustful winter destination guide to suit every family’s interests (and climate preferences) 69 | Quality Time Set your Thanksgiving table in style with our picks for seasonal décor, crafting, and baking

COLUMNS 6 | Editor’s Note Giving thanks 8 | Events & Offers An Art Farm in the City semester class and membership giveaway, New York Family’s special issues, and the scoop on our weekly newsletters 14 | Scoop Julianne Moore’s new children’s book, a kids’ clothing store on the LES, the latest tech toy, and more 16 | A Special Place For 20 years, Eastside Westside Music Together has been helping parents and kids bond over the joys of singing and movement 20 | Starting Out Renowned parenting expert Priscilla Dunstan shares her insights on managing a crying baby and the importance of early infant-parent bonding

pg.69 24 | Special Needs In Raising Henry, her book about parenting a child with Down syndrome, Columbia professor Rachel Adams weaves her own journey with an examination of broader issues 28 | A Good Idea No one has done more to help adoptive families and orphaned children around the world than local mom and “orphan doctor” Jane Aronson 32 | Activity Of The Month: Music A parent’s guide to helping their budding musician select a first instrument—with tips from local instructors and experts 38 | Hot Trends Get set for the winter sports season with our roundup of awesome city basketball programs 72 | The Last Word A local mom has visions of raising another baby as her teen nears the end of high school Cover Photo by Mark Abrahams / Trunk Archive www.newyorkfamily.com

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NOVEMBER 2013 Editor and co-publisher Eric Messinger emessinger@ manhattanmedia.com senior Editor Christine Wei cwei @ manhattanmedia.com associate Editor Mia Weber mweber@ manhattanmedia.com Art Director George W. Widmer gwidmer@ manhattanmedia.com

Contributing PhotographerS Daniel S. Burnstein, Heidi Green, Thaddeus Harden, Michael Jurick, Andrew Schwartz Contributing Writers Leah Black, Anna Boisseau, Stacey Gawronski, Alissa Katz, Danielle Kraese, Gavriella Mahpour, Lorraine Duffy Merkl, Tali Rosenblatt-Cohen, Maria Riley, Samantha Simon, Samantha Varner

Publisher John Hurley For Information On The Baby Show 212.268.3086, jhurley@ manhattanmedia.com Associate Publisher Mary Ann Oklesson maoklesson @ manhattanmedia.com Special Projects Director Alex Schweitzer aschweitzer@ manhattanmedia.com SALES ASSISTANT Erik Bliss ebliss@ manhattanmedia.com Circulation Aaron Pollard apollard @ manhattanmedia.com Business Manager Shawn Scott sscott@ manhattanmedia.com Accounts Manager Kathy Pollyea kpollyea @ manhattanmedia.com

Manhattan Media Chairman of the board Richard Burns Chief executive officer Joanne Harras Direcetor of digital Dennis Rodriguez

New York Family is a division of Manhattan Media, publishers of AVENUE magazine, Mitzvah magazine, and The Blackboard Awards. Š 2013 Manhattan Media, LLC | 72 Madison Avenue, 11th Floor New York, NY 10016 | t: 212.268.8600 | f: 212.268.0577 www.manhattanmedia.com

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New York Family | November 2013

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editor’s note

Giving Thanks To the extent that I think about Thanksgiving, I mostly focus on the feast while giving little to the history and lessons behind the holiday. I’ve done this even though I’m the first to admit that it’s a lost opportunity for me as a parent. There are certain personal traits and values I wish I could emboss in the hearts, souls, and brains of my two children, and appreciation (or call it “giving thanks”) is right up there near the top. All kids whine and complain to varying degrees. That’s who they are. But as they get older, one of the great tests of maturing is the degree to which they can transform that “woe is me” instinct into a calmer and more balanced perspective of their wants and needs.

In my experience, people who live with an abiding sense of appreciation and gratitude are more likely to enjoy their lives and be more successful in every important way. And so, when my 9-year-old son was recently inconsolable about a video game that I wasn’t going to buy for him any time soon, I somehow managed to restrain myself from scolding him for being ungrateful and instead held my ground, commiserating with his pain—and then put in a gentle pitch for spending more time appreciating what he has and less time sulking about what he doesn’t. I

share because it may well have been my parenting highlight of the month! How will I possibly be able to top that for Thanksgiving Associate editor Mia Weber and Amanda Peet other than in the form of: “Hey Adam, do you appreciate the cranberry sauce?” We’ll see.

To a large degree, this magazine is a feast of appreciation as well, so naturally I hope you find a few stories you really like in this issue. If I may do some of the steering, I’d certainly start with our cover interview with the thoughtful and spirited Amanda Peet (page 42), every scrap of our big birthday package (page 47), and the wonderful work of Dr. Jane Aronson (page 28), author Rachel Adams (page 24), and music teacher Deanna deCampos (page 32).

And lest I forget (see, I did it again)—our roundup of Thanksgiving treats (page 69).

Happy November, Eric Messinger Editor, emessinger@manhattanmedia.com

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New York Family | November 2013

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events & offers Win A Semester Class & Elite Family Membership At Art Farm In The City The Art Farm in the City is an Upper East Side haven for making animal friends, boasting eco-friendly indoor and outdoor farms, a petting zoo, toy store, and activity spaces. They offer classes for kids 14 months to 7 years in how to care for live animals, arts and music, and even cooking and learning Italian—and we have a semester class and Elite family membership to give away! The lucky family can choose one class from Art Farm’s full roster of offerings (a value of up to $608), while the membership for the Elite Farmer Club (worth $525) grants complimentary use of the indoor farm, weekend morning outdoor farm visits, an exclusive petting zoo hour, plus discounts on everything from additional classes to birthday parties to toy store purchases. To enter, visit newyorkfamily.com and click on the Contests & Giveaways link.

Deadline to enter is Friday, November 22. Good luck!

Mark Your Calendar: Camp Fairs

Justin Winslow

Finding the right summer camp for your child is one of the most special gifts that you as a parent can give them. With all the options out there—day or sleepaway, city or countryside, single sex or co-ed, specialty or general, four weeks or eight—a great way to begin your search and better understand your options is by visiting one of our December Camp Fairs, which we sponsor with the American Camp Association of New York & New Jersey. From 12-3pm, connect with more than 40 camps at the fair on the Upper East Side on December 7 or the one on the Upper West Side on December 8. To learn more and to secure your spot, register at newyorkfamilycamps.com.

Did You Know?

In addition to this monthly magazine, New York Family also publishes a menu of spin-offs (all of which can you always find online at newyorkfamily.com). This fall, we’re offering our Ultimate Guide to Education in the City, full of local resources and educational hot topics of the day; Mitzvah, which honors the importance of the spiritual Jewish rite of passage alongside savvy party planning advice; and New York Family Baby, a bi-annual publication just for new and expectant parents.

In February 2014, also look for our Ultimate Guide to Summer Camps, a one-stop guide for finding the right camp for your child.

Sign Up For Our Newsletters The best way to follow New York Family on a daily basis is by signing up for our free weekly e-newsletters at newyorkfamily.com/newsletter-sign-up. Covering parent needs from bump to tween, the newsletters include: *Weekly Scoop on Wednesdays For parents with children from toddlers to tweens, the Weekly Scoop is a trove of our best ideas and resources for raising kids and enjoying family life in the city, including tips on classes, parties, shopping, education, family fun, hot topics, and parental musings—not to mention weekly giveaways.

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New York Family | November 2013

*Weekend Planner on Thursdays For parents with children of all ages, our Weekend Planner offers a brief but incredibly handy tip sheet of our favorite family events and activities around town over the weekend. *New York Family Baby on Fridays For new and expectant parents (with children up to toddler age), our baby newsletter offers a lively mix of pre- and post-natal resources, parenting tips, news, shopping, and personal essays.

www.newyorkfamily.com

Weill Music Institute

Ages 5–10

Sunday, November 17 at 1 PM Zankel Hall

BRITTEN’S YOUNG VOICES The pure tone and exuberant energy of the Brooklyn Youth Chorus is the perfect complement to Benjamin Britten’s music. These inspiring young singers honor the composer in his centenary year with a program that features his most charming choral music for young voices, as well as a Britten-inspired world premiere by Pulitzer Prize–winning composer Caroline Shaw.

Pre-concert activities at 12 PM.

Tickets start at $12.

Lead support for Carnegie Hall Family Concerts is provided by The Irene Diamond Fund.

Carnegie Hall Family Concerts are also made possible, in part, by endowment gifts from The Irene Diamond Fund, Mr. and Mrs. Lester S. Morse Jr., and the Henry and Lucy Moses Fund.

Thanks to New York City Department of Homeless Services for supporting young fathers and their families at the concert.

carnegiehall.org/FamilyConcerts | 212-247-7800 | Box Office at 57th and Seventh Artists, programs, dates, and ticket prices subject to change. © 2013 CHC.

Richard Termine

Fam ily C once rt Brooklyn Youth Chorus

family fun

MUSEUMS

MUSIC

THEATER

Todd Rosenberg

NH |

FOOD

C . C he s e k

ATTRACTIONS

AM

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Great Events for November Clockwise from left: “Feet Don’t Fail Me Now” (New Victory), Justin Roberts and the Not Ready for Naptime Players (Symphony Space), The Power of Poison (AMNH)

By Danielle Kraese

Green But No Longer Mean

The Circus Goes Urban

Hi, Hi Birdie

Through December 31 [All Ages] Get in the holiday spirit with Cindy-Lou Who and everyone’s favorite reformed grump, the Grinch! An interactive and kid-friendly experience inspired by the Dr. Seuss classic, the Children’s Museum of Manhattan has once again recreated its real-life walk-through of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Kids can enjoy story time around the Grinch’s larger-than-life reading chair, make up their own funny Seuss-inspired phrases with Whoville Mad Libs, and create tree ornaments, Grinch masks, and super silly “rhyming hats.”

Free with admission; 10am-5pm (7pm Saturdays).

212 West 83rd Street, 212-721-1223, cmom.org

Through January 12 [All Ages] In a brand new show, “LUMINOSITY,” the Big Apple Circus is bringing together talented performance artists from around the globe. Marvel at an incredible circus adventure set in the cityscape with amazing acts like a masterful dog-walker leading a pack of skillful pooches, soaring businesswomen who report directly to a double trapeze, a food cart vendor with a flair for juggling, plus construction workers performing feats of strength. And, of course, what would an urban circus be without some city-slicker clowns?

From $25; various start times between 11am and 7pm.

Damrosch Park, 70 Lincoln Center Plaza, 888-541-3750, bigapplecircus.org

Through January 26 [All Ages] In a tribute to a time before Twitter and smartphones, when the word “tweet” evoked a bird’s cheerful chirp rather than a 140-character message, the Children’s Museum of the Arts gives families the a chance to remember what it’s like to truly take in the nature that surrounds you. With a specific focus on birds, the Tweet exhibit features works from an array of artists who took their inspiration from the beauty that comes from quiet observation.

Free with admission; Wednesdays through Mondays.

103 Charlton Street, 212-274-0986, cmany.org

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New York Family | November 2013

continued on page 12

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family fun continued from page 10

Soul Cool November 9 [All Ages] The upcoming Jazz for Young People family concert is all about melding jazz with gospel--and making the soulful combination fun for kids. Using Duke Ellington, Charles Mingus, and Wynton Marsalis as inpsiration, pianist and conductor Damien Sneed leads kids and their parents alike in fun activities that help illustrate the genres’ most important concepts at Jazz at Lincoln Center. $From 24.40; 1pm & 3pm.

Broadway and 60th Street, 212-721-6500, jalc.org

A Twinkletoe Twist November 10 to 24 [Ages 4-6] Making Books Sing combines dance and puppetry in “Ballerina Swan,” which tells the story of a swan who dwells in Central Park named Sophie with aspirations of becoming a ballerina and performing in Swan Lake. Based on the beloved children’s book by former New York City Ballet prima ballerina, Allegra Kent, this story is brought to life with the help of a five-foot tall swan puppet with some serious dance skills!

Children $15, adults $20; Thurs and Fri 10:30am, Sat and Sun 11am & 2pm, 311 West 43rd Street, 646-601-1406, makingbookssing.org

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New York Family | November 2013

Got The Rhythm?

November 15 to December 1 [Ages 6 & Up] The New Victory Theater will be pulsing with energy in “Feet Don’t Fail Me Now,” in which a seven-piece “rhythmic circus” from Minneapolis taps along to a brass band and the percussion of human beatboxing in what they call “heatbox.” Ready for an explosive dance performance?

From $14; various start times between 12 & 7pm, Fri-Sun. 209 West 42nd Street, 646-223-3010, newvictory.org

The Power of Poison November 16 to August 10 [ALL AGES] Throughout history, poison has wreaked havoc in its countless forms, from the menacing rattlesnake to the seemingly unassuming skin of a mango. The American Museum of Natural History’s Power of Poison exhibit explores the role venom has played in nature, human health, literature, and myths. Learn about some of history’s most puzzling cases of poisoning, like Cleopatra’s notorious snakebite and Napoleon’s encounter with arsenic.

Children $16, adults $27 (includes) admission; every half hour 10:30am-4:30pm.

American Museum of Natural History, 212-769-5100, amnh.org

events

November 9 [AGES 6-16] Head over to the Intrepid Museum’s Scout Day and help little ones celebrate history and the heroic members of our military. Boy Girl Scouts can earn requirements toward badges, interest projects, loops, or try-its as they chat with veterans and active military personnel, learn more about life as a USS crewmember, contribute to a massive “thank you chain” that will be sent to the military, and create a special stamp to commemorate the day.

From $15.50; 11am2:30pm. Pier 86 at West 6th Street, 212-245-0072, intrepidmuseum.org

Deborah Grosmark

All About Scouts

Stravinsky’s “Firebird” (Little Orchestra Society)

Songs For Fams November 17 [All Ages] Come see the Brooklyn Youth Chorus as they celebrate and honor the music of legendary composer Benjamin Britten. Carnegie Hall will be filled with the sweet sound of little ones singing as the chorus showcases some of Britten’s most notable pieces. Before the concert, ticket-holding children can even take part in some interactive games.

From $12; 1pm, Carnegie Hall, 212-247-7800, carnegiehall.org

Puppet Magic November 23 & 24 [ALL AGES] In association with New York City Center, The Little Orchestra Society recreates Igor Stravinsky’s historical “Firebird” production of magic and immortality through the use of puppets and illumination. With David Alan Miller serving as guest conductor, this full sensory performance will combine a lively score with exquisite puppetry.

From $17; 11am & 1pm Saturday & 1pm Sunday, 131 West 55th Street, 212-581-1212, littleorchestra.org

For more event picks for families, check out our Family Calendar at newyorkfamily.com/events www.newyorkfamily.com

The Art for Kids Program at the School of Visual Arts

Holidays are magic at the Met!

Age-appropriate art classes for young people in grades K-9 enrich a child’s knowledge of art while exploring a wide variety of materials. Classes maintain a teacher-student ratio of one to nine and are taught by SVA art educators and art education graduate students who are also professional artists. Classes are held during the fall, spring and summer. The tuition for the ten sessions $220.

For further information, please go to:

sva.edu/special-programs/art-for-kids-k-9

Once UponA

Ballet

ExquisitE O n E- H O u r B a llEts f O r t H E wH O lE fa mily

Mozart

Illustration by Lauren Redness

The Magic Flute The Nutcracker The Alice-In-Wonderland Follies Cinderella Carnival of the Animals Sleeping Beauty’s Wedding

DEC 16, 21, 24, 26 mat, 28, 30 mat JAN 2, 4 mat

Orchestra seats frOm $80!

“An enchanting ride!”

— The New York Times

spEcial DiscOunts On sEriEs suBscriptiOns

Ticket Information: www.nytb.org Ticketmaster.com 800-982-2787 In Person at the Box Office Florence Gould Hall, 55 East 59th Street

The family favorite returns in a brisk 100-minute version to delight the entire family! Celebrate the holidays with Mozart’s enchanting classic in the Met’s beloved English-language production

by Julie Taymor, director of The Lion King.

metopera.org | 212.362.6000 LISTEN TO METROPOLITAN OPERA RADIO 24/7 ON

PhOtO: Ken hOward/metrOPOlitan OPera

scoop

KEEPING PARENTS IN THE KNOW SWEETS Fabipops This luxury dessert company, based out of a kosher kitchen in Brooklyn, specializes in cake pops! Rich flavors and unique handmade designs make for deliciously crafted treats, whether you’re catering a birthday party or just want to sweeten up a fun family afternoon. Keep it simple with one of the company’s many delicious flavors, such as red velvet or lemon raspberry, or liven up your day by ordering the cake pop likeness of one of your child’s fave celebrities. Fabipops even offers special turkey-themed cake pops for getting in the holiday spirit as Thanksgiving approaches. fabipops.com

DINNER Plated.com Looking to take the guesswork out of shopping for dinner ingredients? Plated just might be your new best friend.

This e-commerce platform for gourmet home cooking is aiming to redefine the weeknight dinner, and it’s as hassle-free as can be. Customers simply choose from chef-designed recipes, then all the fresh ingredients needed are delivered to their doorsteps in conveniently pre-measured portions (you can even preselect how many servings you need to make). No more harried grocery shopping, no more leftover spices and herbs.

Simply follow the recipe and enjoy a healthy dinner for the whole family in less than 30 minutes. plated.com

SHOPPING Honey In The Rough A hip children’s boutique has recently launched on the Lower East Side. Honey in the Rough, which previously sold women’s wear from around the globe, recently re-launched during Fashion Week with innovative designs for both mother and child as well as quirky, craftsman-quality toys. Owner Ashley Hanoush views the reinvention of her store as a natural transition, since many of her original customers have recently started families. Look for kids’ looks by Tutu du Monde, Ace & Jig, and Mini & Maximus, and luxuriously comfy women’s pieces by designers like Peter Jensen and Tsumori Chisato that can work for everyday as well as maternity. honeyintherough.com

BOOK My Mom Is A Foreighner, But Not To Me

by Julianne Moore Aside from charming viewers on the big screen, awardwinning actress Julianne Moore also has a knack for charming young readers. Inspired by her childhood with her Scottish immigrant mother, the NYC mom of two (and New York Times bestselling author of the Freckleface Strawberry series) is celebrating multicultural families with her latest children’s book, My Mom Is a Foreigner, But Not To Me. The story shows how the traits that make diverse families appear different are precisely the ones that make them so special. Moore’s book features gorgeous illustrations from Meilo So, who is a “foreign” mom herself, not to mention a gifted artist. chroniclebooks.com

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TECH littleBits Most kids today know how to work a smartphone better than their parents, but do they truly understand why technology works the way it does? The award-winning Greenwich Village-based company littleBits turns tech-based learning into hands-on engagement that lets budding scientists ages 8 and up understand what’s happening behind the screen. LittleBits’ Exploration Kits come in three sizes (base, deluxe, and premium) and give kids everything they need to create their own electronic inventions, from simple circuits to bubble flutes. littlebits.com

New York Family | November 2013

For more tips on local resources for families, check out newyorkfamily.com

www.newyorkfamily.com

Photos by Andrew Schwartz

a special place

Active music making at it’s best

The

Music In Me For 20 Years, The Ever— Popular Eastside Westside Music Together Has Been Helping Parents And Their Little Ones Bond Over The Innate Joys Of Singing And Movement

By Savannah Birnbaum

Think about the music your parents played on the stereo when you were a very little kid, the tunes you made those first dopey, adorable bounces to. These were your first brushes with the world of music, and though you didn’t realize it at the time, your parents’ music—be it early rock or classical or anything in between—was playing a large part in your early development. Now this may not be news to parents in a big city like ours, which is teeming with programs that stress the developmental importance of music in young children. Still, if you talk about it to Deanna deCampos—or, better yet, experience one of her music classes with your child—chances are you’ll feel like you’re discovering the transformative power of music all over again.

As the director of Eastside Westside Music Together, now in its 20th year, deCampos oversees one of the longest-running and most beloved early music programs in the city. Warm and serene and a lot of fun, she’s like your favorite teacher and your favorite aunt in one—which seems just right for the joyful anyone-can-enjoy-this spirit of her classes.

“Music Together is really based on the understanding that all children are musical and that we all have the same ability to learn to sing and to move as accurately as we do to walk and talk,” says deCampos, who holds classes on several locations on the East and West sides of Manhattan.

With a primary focus on nurturing the natural talents of infants through 4-year-olds, Music Together takes an approach that deCampos describes as an active “making” process as opposed to a passive “listening” one. Each semester, age-divided and mixed-age classes focus on one of the program’s nine non-sequential song collections—meaning families can begin at any time with any collection without worrying about order—that introduce budding musicians to different rhythms, tones, and sounds from different cultures. To make the experience as engaging as possible, live musicians play everything from guitar and bass to keyboards and percussion throughout the lessons.

The effect goes way beyond the traditional classroom play-along set-up. “We’re not teaching them formally,” says deCampos. “It’s more like music immersion, kind of like how we learn a language.”

And, like learning a language, it requires regular exposure—which is one of the qualities, according to deCampos, that sets the ESWS Music Together franchise apart from other early music programs. The key is parental (or caregiver) involvement, both in and continued on page 18

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New York Family | November 2013

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out of the classroom.

“We want [parents] to understand how they can support it and that their making music is really vital to their child’s experience in the class; so we’re always kind of Top: Music Together founder lovingly nurturing Deanna deCampos. Bottom: Classes are an interactive affair and nudging them for the whole family to participate,” she says. “Once they’re hooked, they’ll also sing the songs together and have more fun at home.”

Still, for all its popularity, deCampos is as surprised as anyone that ESWS Music Together has been able to hold onto their real estate through the many storms that the city has weathered over the years.

“We’ve survived economic downturns, 9/11, and all kinds of exoduses from the city,” she says. The secret of the program’s longevity? The devotion of families who love its “down-home” and “solid” vibe, as deCampos describes it.

“We had one family in the spring who had been with us for 27 semesters, through three kids. That’s the kind of program we are. When you decide to be with us, and you stick with us, it feels like family,” she says. “We’re facilitating this group music-making environment that feels really special. That’s why they come back. And they remember that experience when they’re older, it means a lot.”

When ESWS Music Together first opened 20 years ago on the West Side, it was only the third Music Together franchise in the country. Its popularity helped spur a movement—these days there are hundreds of franchises around the country and the world. That said, deCampos insists that for its overall growth, the program has not forgotten its roots. “It’s still very heart-centered,” she says.

DeCampos herself came to the program after years as an actress in musical theater. When she became a mom, she knew she wanted to transition from acting to teaching music. For most of her time at Music Together, she had a partner-in-crime, another joyful music-loving soul named Sally

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New York Family | November 2013

Woodson, who passed away in March. Woodson was a legendarily popular teacher to generations of city parents and kids, and her loss is still felt every day by deCampos and other long-time staff members. “[Sally] had this joy about her in the way she loved turning people into music makers. I think her gift was that it was always through love,” deCampos says.

In addition to partnering for almost two decades on ESWS Music Together, a few years ago deCampos and Woodson launched a charity-minded music program called ArtStrides, which provides music classes for at-risk families and training to teachers who can’t afford it. To pass on Woodson’s legacy of generosity and passion for sharing music with families, a grant called Sally’s Light has been created that will, through ArtStrides, award $2,000 annually to Music Together families from across the country who are going through hard times and would not otherwise be able to participate in the programs.

As difficult as its been without Woodson around, deCampos has been carrying on, managing the program, teaching classes herself, and moving forward with a few plans that she and Woodson had been cultivating for a while. Among these projects, deCampos is especially excited about a Big Kids program for 5- to 7-year-olds, which she says will bridge the gap between early childhood music and formal lessons. The idea is to keep kids’ ears and minds attuned to music at an age where they might not yet be able to sit still and focus enough to learn an instrument but can still gain a lot of developmental benefits from being musical.

“The language centers, the emotional center, all of these different areas of the brain light up when we make music like nothing else that we do,” deCampos says. “Children are having to process sequence, they’re having to process and retain memory for lyrics—so all of these other non-musical things are happening while we’re making music that supports all kinds of other learning.”

If you think about it, most children would certainly want to continue making music together until they’re ready to make music separately. And what better place than a familiar program in which the “together” part is as important as the “music” part? At Eastside Westside Music Together, the classrooms are not only places of learning but also havens of fun and joy.

“So many of the philosophies and the methods that we use in the classroom are based on sound parenting skills,” says deCampos. “It’s a place where you can kind of let the outside world stay out there, and you can create a protective, safe, fun, rich environment for your kids.”

To learn more about ESWS Music Together, visit eswsmusictogether.com.

For more great music resources for children in NYC, visit newyorkfamily.com www.newyorkfamily.com

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Connection For Parents And Babies Alike, Much Rides On A Baby’s Cry And How A Parent Responds To It

By Priscilla Dunstan We’ve all been there—sitting in a local café, oblivious to the cacophony of taxi honks and police sirens, when we’re abruptly disturbed by the crying of an infant a few tables away. Try as we might, ignoring the sound is nearly impossible. Instead, we look to see what’s being done to make the sound stop! What you may not realize is that your body had a primal reaction, a primitive, hormonal response to the sound of one of your species needing care. When we hear a baby crying, our human nature knows we must soothe. We all feel it: We want the baby to stop crying.

An infant’s cry is a powerful motivator. Even adults who aren’t related to the infant or responsible for

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New York Family | November 2013

her care will react to it. In fact, this is part of an ideal caregiving pattern, common across many cultures and geographies, for attending to the primal needs of an infant. For the parents, it means Mom and Dad understanding why their baby is crying, addressing the baby’s needs, being able to settle the baby, and feeling like good parents. For the baby, it means feeling secure that her cries are understood and that her needs are consistently met. Less crying means more time for baby and parents to bond, building the baby’s connection to parents, enhancing parents’ confidence, and forging stronger family units.

We now understand that bonding and attachment are essential for a child to grow up to be a functional member of society. Responsive caregiving directly influences how children relate to the world and to others for the rest of their lives. It may even affect intelligence. A study of the “Relationship Between Quality of Attachment in Infancy and IQ in Kindergarten,” conducted at University of Leiden in the Netherlands, showed that babies in the securely attached group attained higher IQ scores, with results showing as early as kindergarten. Parents who are well-bonded with their children do better, too; they have a higher tolerance for normal parenting challenges such as crying, and sleep deprivation and for the lifestyle changes parenting requires.

Still, as all parents know, it’s hard to bond with a crying baby—and even harder when you doubt your ability to help the crying child. A continually crying baby requires the caregiver to function in a very high-stress situation. The baby has acute physical needs, and the main goal is to stop the crying and try to manage the situation; this is not a time for staring lovingly into each other’s eyes! Babies who cry a lot also often become exhausted, limiting the time available for positive, loving interaction. Parent and child get locked into a problem–reaction cycle, with little opportunity to get to know each other in peace, without distress. A study conducted in several European countries by the Norwegian University of Science and Technology showed that “both infantile colic and prolonged crying were associated with high maternal depression scores. Most noteworthy, infantile colic at two months of age was associated with high maternal depression scores four months later.”

Parents can become overwhelmed by a baby’s continual crying, which can increase feelings of helplessness and possibly the risk of postpartum depression, whose symptoms can include a lack of interest in the baby, negative feelings toward the baby, feelings of worthlessness and guilt, and, in extreme cases, severe effects such as suicide and hurting one’s baby. Likewise, shaken baby syndrome is correlated with parental stress, often due to an continued on page 22

www.newyorkfamily.com

continued from page 20

inconsolable, crying baby and a parent without the tools to cope. For parents at the edge of despair, it’s hard enough to try to address the cause of a baby’s crying, much less to have the objectivity to recognize our own stress level or take precautions against a dangerous reaction.

Babies can stress relationships, too. An eightyear study from the University of Denver showed that in 90 percent of couples, marital bliss declined within a year after the birth of their first child.

Divorce statistics show that one in eight couples with “problem babies” will end their relationship within eighteen months. In my own research, I have found that the level of partner support a mother feels during the first year of baby’s life is remembered for many years to come—and feeling insufficiently supported is often the catalyst for a declining relationship. This is especially true for parents of babies who are very vocal, and it’s a direct result, I believe, of the isolation, lack of information, and lack of support for new parents.

Parents who feel inadequate or unable to meet their newborn’s needs can carry this feeling of disconnection throughout their parenting lives. During my “Sensory Studies of Elementary School Children,” which formed the basis of my book Child Sense, I met many parents who said they could never understand their children, even when they were babies. It was heartbreaking to hear a mother say, “My child and I never really got on, even from birth—she never seemed to like me.” A parent who feels unable to understand or meet her baby’s needs may withdraw emotionally from the infant, which can be hard to rectify.

Understanding your baby’s needs through her cries is often the critical missing piece of the parenting puzzle. That understanding sets parents on the course to becoming joyful, confident experts in their baby’s care. But if the crying is primal, and if bonding and attachment are a natural process, why oh why do we still hear babies crying—and why do some just never seem to be happy?

There are sometimes medical reasons for a baby crying, of course, like colic and reflux. But even in a healthy, normal infant there are basic reasons for their crying such as hunger or tiredness. Should we know these just innately? Yes, some people have the knack of picking up a baby and knowing just what to do to soothe their cries. Often they are nurses or grandmothers or people who have had experience with other babies. Rarely, though, does a new parent instantly know what their baby is crying about, and often it takes time through trial and error for them to be able to decipher their baby’s needs.

Historically, a new mother would most likely learn from her community. A woman would have helped with her nieces and nephews before becoming a mother herself and could count on her own mother to be close by with experience and support. Now, however, our families live further apart, and often our own baby is the first newborn we have ever held.

Like breastfeeding and knowing how to correctly change a diaper, calming a crying infant is something

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New York Family | November 2013

we must learn. And then the better a parent understands their baby’s cries, the better they can read and respond to her needs. Then too, the sooner they can enjoy caring for their baby and start the bonding and attachment process. Understanding a baby’s cries tells a parent what the baby needs and when he needs it.

Crying really is our babies’ language. It’s part of the bonding process. It’s the start of the communication between parent and child, and it’s only through this communication that we can set up the responsive caregiving pattern needed to create strong child-parental attachments essential for a well balanced human. So the next time you’re sipping a cappuccino against the backdrop of crying babies in strollers at your local Starbucks, or stuck on the subway as a mom tries to comfort her crying child, you can take comfort in knowing that this is how it should be—a crying baby is “asking” for help, and the attachment and boding that follows means we are one step closer to a well-adjusted child, adult, and society.

Following a segment on “Oprah,” Priscilla Dunstan’s work on babies and crying has helped new parents through out the world. Recently, Dunstan and her teenage son moved to NYC, where she is available to new parents for consultations and will be blogging for New York Family Baby. To learn more, visit dunstanbabynewyork.com.

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What Henry Changed Henry with Mom, Dad, and big brother Noah

In Her Moving Book About Parenting A Child With Down’s Syndrome, Columbia Professor Rachel Adams Weaves Together Her Own Journey With An Examination Of The Broader Iusses Faced

By Families Raising Children With Disabilities.

By Sarah Torretta Klock

There is a boy on the Upper West Side named Henry. He is 5 years old, a lover of “Sesame Street,” a budding puppeteer. He has an older brother, Noah, whom he adores and also occasionally likes to pester.

Henry is funny, determined, and a big cuddler. He delights in his family and his friends. He often has a mischievous glint in his eye and a contagious laugh.

Henry also has Down syndrome.

The fact of Henry’s genetic condition is not in and

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New York Family | November 2013

of itself remarkable. To the people who know and love Henry, his extra chromosome is not the most important thing about him. For his mother, Rachel Adams, perhaps the most remarkable thing about giving birth to Henry was how he was a complete surprise—and yet, in a more cosmic way, someone for whom she had been preparing for much of her adult life. In her luminous memoir, Raising Henry: a Memoir of Motherhood, Disability, and Discovery, Adams, a professor of English Literature at Columbia University, writes about how the birth of her son changed almost every aspect of her life, and, at the same time, brought her back to the beginning of her roots as a scholar.

Adams first made her academic mark studying the history of freaks and freak shows. She was drawn to freaks precisely because they defied the rules of “respectable society.” She writes in her memoir, “Instead of demanding to participate in the world of the ablebodied, freaks helped us to imagine how the world could be a radically different place.” While the work of the disability rights movement argued against freak shows as exploitative and damaging to an inclusive and accommodating culture for people with disabilities, Adams was drawn to freaks for their outsider status—performers who rebelled against the idea of “the Normal” in provocative and even disturbing ways.

Eventually, Adams’s work drifted away from disability studies altogether. But then, roughly half a decade later, she became Henry’s mother. With his continued on page 26

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continued from page 24

diagnosis, Adams found herself returning to the old arguments and navigating disability studies anew and on a deeply personal level.

“Suddenly,” she says, “I had this child, and what I wanted most for him in the world was for him to be seen as a child like everyone else—for him to be accepted and included. It became the focus of not just my parenting, but also of my intellectual life.”

Her memoir is a story, in part, about how these two strands—the parent and the professor—came together.

On a personal level, Adams’s story is about how she came to embrace Henry after the initial shock of his diagnosis. She writes about her worries for her older son, Noah, and how having a younger sibling with Down syndrome might affect him. She writes about her husband, Jon, and his steadfast devotion to their family, as well as the arguments that inevitably arise when the extra demands of therapies and doctors appointments outstrip a family’s resources. The memoir is also about baking as self-therapy, fostering a new love and appreciation for her in-laws, coming to terms with her own motherless upbringing, and facing the debilitating anxiety of her own mortality.

Equally, Raising Henry offers a glimpse into the daily triumphs and struggles of raising a child with a disability in New York City, and the larger community of children with Down syndrome and their families who work every day to make the city a place where their children can thrive.

“When Henry was first born, I thought I was completely alone,” Adams says. “I thought, ‘I’m in this cosmopolitan city full of the most ambitious, successful, and over-educated people in the world.

Who else would be like me and have a child with Down syndrome?’ Slowly, over time, I realized there was quite a community of people of all different kinds living here—different classes, national backgrounds, employment histories, interests, religions.” With world class medical care, a state-sponsored Early Intervention program, an exhaustive public transportation system, Adams thinks that, today, New York City is probably one of the best places in the world to be a person with a disability.

Where the city falls short, however, it does so in big ways. “The community of people with Down syndrome and their families is one that has tremendous needs that often go unmet,” says Adams. “There are many people who don’t have the services that they need, whose children are being

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New York Family | November 2013

badly under-served by the schools that they attend, who are facing the prejudice of doctors, teachers and bureaucrats that they deal with every day.”

Schools in particular, fail to adequately serve the city’s population of children with Down syndrome.

Independent schools are often prejudicial, and when they are not, they are expensive and selective. Public schools, with their budget shortfalls and large class sizes, struggle to provide the specialized attention that children with Down syndrome need.

Adams’ desires for Henry are the same as her desires for her eldest son, Noah: that he is happy, kind, thoughtful, well-loved and valued, and as independent as possible as he grows into adulthood.

Adams knows that access to education is key to Henry’s success today, but she also has her eye on his securing his chances at a rewarding future. “One of the hardest things for many people with Down syndrome is that they are often very successful in high school, then when they graduate there aren’t the same work and life opportunities that are available to their typical peers.”

Adams notes that the public face of Down syndrome most often has to do with cute children, and unfortunately, once those children grow up they experience a real absence of energy and resources advocating for them as adults. Her hope is that by the time Henry is an adult he will have opportunities to keep flourishing, even after he leaves high school.

To this end, Adams serves on the Board of Directors for Gigi’s Playhouse New York, a Down syndrome awareness center with locations across the country that opened in Harlem in 2012. “Ours is a wonderful gathering place,” Adams explains. “There are all kinds of social events, classes and therapy programs, all free of charge. We bring in speakers, and I’ve just started an adult writing group. I think that all of us feel that, as much as we want our children to be included [in the larger community], we also want them to be part of a community of other people with Down syndrome—and Gigi’s promises to give them that for the long run.”

Presently, Henry likes to pretend to be Darth Vader, wielding an imaginary lightsaber and vanquishing his enemy (who happens to be his brother, Noah, aka Luke Skywalker). This fall, he just started kindergarten on the Upper West Side. His whole future is ahead of him.

At one point in her memoir, Adams recalls a moment of intense frustration for the many forms of prejudice facing Henry and other kids with Down syndrome: “I want to change the way other people think,” she yells. “I want to change the world.” With her critique of society’s inadequate responses to disability—social, medical, genetic, educational, and legal—weaved through her memoir of raising Henry, Adams is on the way to doing just that.

Sarah Torretta Klock lives in Sunset Park with her husband and three children. She is a writer, photographer, and expert child wrangler. See her work at lightfantastik.com. www.newyorkfamily.com

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No One Has Done More To Help Adoptive Families And Orphaned Children Around The World Than Local Mom And “Orphan Doctor” Jane Aronson

By Alissa Katz Jane Aronson is sitting in her office, a warm space featuring blue walls and a blue rug that, intentionally or not, complement her signature round blue frames.

After dashing off an email on her iPhone, Aronson, 61, leans back in her chair and puts her feet up on the edge of her desk, ready to chat. Behind her, the wall and windowsill are decorated with awards and plaques adorned with her name, not to mention photos of her favorite kind of people—children.

It seems like there are never enough hours in the day—or minutes in an hour—for the widely acclaimed “orphan doctor” and founder of the Worldwide Orphans Foundation (WWO), a global organization that aims to help orphaned children become healthy and independent members of their communities. Petite but full of infectious energy, Aronson’s devoted her life to helping children locally and around the world.

Through Aronson’s former private pediatric practice, current adoption medicine practice, and WWO, she’s evaluated more than 10,000 adopted children.

Not surprisingly, Aronson, who’s an adoptive mom of two herself and is based out of Maplewood, NJ, can’t see doing anything that doesn’t involve kids.

“I’m a pediatrician,” she says. “And before that I was a teacher. I enjoy kids. I like them. I’m interested in them. They’re fun. I feel that I learned so much from being a parent, but being a pediatrician really for me was always enjoyable and intellectually, emotionally,

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New York Family | October 2013

Chad Hunt

A Doctor Without Borders Dr. Jane Aronson with her two sons Des (15) and Ben (13)

and psychologically stimulating. I never had a day at work that wasn’t interesting or didn’t in some way change how I feel about life.”

In her consultation work, Aronson doesn’t work for any adoption agencies, nor does she arrange any adoptions. What she does do is to help parents interpret the file of a child an adoption agency gives them after they decide that they want to adopt.

Aronson uses growth and development charts to help couples understand the wellness of their prospective children—which includes interpreting physical exam results, family and social history, and how the child came into care. After assessing with Aronson’s help what the child’s health traits or needs may be longterm, couples are then better equipped for the crucial next step: either moving forward to meet their new child and create a family or continue to look for another match.

Given her personal experience in traveling and working with orphanages abroad, Aronson also helps parents prepare for journeying to other countries to meet their new children. Additionally, she lectures and answers questions adoption agencies might have on topics like children’s lives in different countries and medical issues, and she discusses adoption advocacy and education with other pediatricians as a member of the Counsel of Adoption and Foster Care (administered through the American Academy of Pediatrics).

In the most personal way, the experience of adopting a child, both internationally and domestically, are recounted in Aronson’s new book, Carried in Our Hearts, which features a compilation of firsthand accounts of adoptive parents, many of whom Aronson herself had helped, alongside chapters Aronson wrote on the adoption process.

But as fierce a champion as she is of adoption, Aronson realized years ago that it wasn’t the longcontinued on page 30

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Join The Revolution On Monday, November 18, WWO is once again holding their grand annual gala, this time at the grand Cipriani Wall Street. The host of the event is none other than comedian and “Saturday Night Live” cast member and writer Seth Meyers. In celebrating WWO’s mission of bringing orphaned children independent and productive futures and of helping keep families together in the first place, attendees will get the chance to rub elbows with celebrity WWO supporters and even walk the blue carpet—a fun twist on the red carpet that references Aronson’s frames. To learn more and to reserve your table, visit wwo.org/Gala2013.

term answer to helping the hundreds of thousands of children without families, both because of financial constraint and the sheer number of orphaned children.

“Adoption is magnificent and lovely and fantastic, and all children should have permanent families,” she says. “But there are hundreds of millions of children living without parents, and so we can’t take care of them all through adoption. It’s just not feasible.”

And while there’s plenty of money for the process of executing international adoptions, Aronson adds, there’s hardly any financial investment in social services for families abroad.

Cue WWO, which Aronson founded in the September of 1997. In the beginning, the organization trained volunteers in Aronson’s charting approach and sent them to help the orphanages better care for their children. Today, WWO not only helps orphanages directly, they also provide services and advocacy for families at risk of having to put their children up for adoption, with the inspired goal of keeping these families together as much as possible.

To be clear, WWO isn’t involved in managing orphanages directly, but rather works with local leadership and governments to ensure that both orphans and children at risk receive education, medical care, and psychosocial support. Naturally, the organization is continually adapting to the ever-changing politics of international adoptions.

Among other developments, Aronson reports that in more recent years there have been more and more adoptions of children with special needs.

Backed by high-profile supporters—like comedian and actress Amy Poehler, who has traveled with Aronson to Haiti as a WWO ambassador, and Deborra-Lee Furness, the wife of actor Hugh Jackman, who serves on WWO Australia’s board and wrote the forward of Aronson’s book—WWO is playing an increasingly important role in helping the world’s most desperate children.

“What I love about WWO is that their programs don’t just provide children with food, healthcare, and supplies—they even offer mentors for one-on-one attention,” says Ali Wing, the founder of popular children’s store giggle, who’s on WWO’s board of directors. In fact, to support WWO, giggle donates a portion of all qualifying registry purchases to WWO. “I cannot think of a better partner in reaching out to children around the world,” Wing says.

To ensure that WWO is as impactful as it can be, Aronson has visited plenty of needy countries and orphanages around the world. Her travels started long before WWO in the 1990s, when she visited

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New York Family | October 2013

Amy Poehler, who is a WWO ambassador, and “Dr. Jane,” as Aronson is affectionately called, in Haiti

an orphanage in El Salvador and proceeded to immerse herself in that world in Eastern Europe.

“I had to walk in those shoes,” she says. “Children for me, whether they’re sick or healthy, are always a source of inspiration to me. My travel and my meeting children from different countries has always been my favorite place to be other than at home with my kids.”

While Aronson is an inspiring force of nature in the eyes of adults, to children her ability to tap into her wilder, more carefree side makes her a wonderful friend, plain and simple.

“Usually when I travel I have a lot of fun,” she says.

“We play soccer, basketball, do art projects, sing and dance, do theater, I get to experience children’s successes in the classroom, I go to camp in Haiti and Ethiopia and Vietnam, take part in activities, and learn about the kids I’m taking care of.”

Even when she’s assessing a child’s health, Aronson looks to that personal bond. “I want to know who they are—and I enjoy knowing who they are,” she says.

To learn more about the Worldwide Orphans Foundation, visit wwo.org, and to learn more about Dr. Jane’s medical services, visit orphandoctor.com.

For more adoption resources, visit newyorkfamily.com

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By Anna Boisseau It’s not news to most parents that early music exposure is beneficial to young children’s intellectual and emotional development. But what are the best ways to introduce children to their first instruments— and what are the best ways to keep it fun while reinforcing practice?

Sharing the joys of song can be as simple as sharing music that you enjoy yourself or taking children to some of the many family concerts around the city. Julie Rulyak Steinberg, the executive director at Turtle Bay Music School, notes how important curiosity and enjoyment is as a precursor to musical expression. “Make up stories while they’re listening to music; ask open-ended questions that get kids thinking about music as a vehicle for storytelling,” she says. Singing along, creating call and response games, or even (lightly) pounding random notes on the piano

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New York Family | November 2013

are all ways to make music fun at home.

When your child is ready for formal lessons, they’ll usually let you know (though group lessons are great for gentle exploration). Many instructors agree that it’s best to let your child take the lead in selecting their first instrument. It’s all about selfmotivation. “If you love your instrument, you’re going to stick with it, even when it gets tough,” says Kathy Yiannoudes, the Diller-Quaile School of Music instrumental and vocal director. Bring your child to a music store to experiment with the instruments and let them pick their favorite—or go to many of the city’s music venues (like the ones featured here) where instructors and directors host open house events for the same purpose. continued on page 34

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Once a child begins formal one-on-one lessons, finding the right teacher is key. “Knowing your child is very important,” says Yana Stotland, the director of 92Y’s School of Music. “Some kids do really well under pressure or with strong support.” She likens thinking about musical learning styles to general homework approach, further extending the analogy to the homework strategy of breaking down the work into sections—three five-minute sessions of practice is less overwhelming than one big 15-minute practice without breaks.

Not surprisingly, setting a regular practice schedule can be one of the biggest challenges for parents of budding musicians. Especially for younger kids, instructors caution against taking the fun out of music, but they do recommend practicing daily no matter the length of practice. “How one learns to play an instrument is through training muscles or learning particular motions, so that the muscles are reminded of what they need to do,” says Scott Taylor, the Young People’s Division manager at Kaufman Music Center’s Lucy Moses School.

Practicing at generally the same time of time also helps make practice part of your daily routine, rather than an additional chore. Riverside Music Studios founder Dr. Dimitry Alexeev adds: “Setting up a reward system is also a good idea. It could be anything—a little sticker or going to the park at the end of the week.”

That said, when it’s time to get more serious after the first few years, it goes beyond the fun and games. “There will be periods where the material is difficult and it’s climbing the mountain a bit,” Stotland points out. “Sometimes a little extra push from the parents is what the child needs.” At this stage, Steinberg goes back to the strength of selfmotivation and recommends that students be a part of the goal-setting process. She’s also seen peer motivation play a big role—when a student sees their peers play in a recital, for example, they’ll want to build their skills to do the same.

Of course, the skills and challenges involved with learning an instrument differ depending on the student’s age and the instrument itself. Here are some tips for parents hoping to introduce new learners to five common first instruments: the piano, the violin, the guitar, wood instruments, and the drums.

Piano The piano is commonly thought of as one of the easier musical instruments to start very young children on. Alexeev notes the piano’s visual and visceral appeal: “You just press the key down and you hear the sound.” While some programs in the city insist on music theory at age 5 before actual piano playing, Alexeev teaches students as young as 3. At this age, children will be concurrently learning how to read music as they learn to actually play.

But instead of traditional sheet music, Alexeev prefers using lesson books with the Thompson method, which integrates bright pictures with big

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New York Family | November 2013

Where to make music Have Some Fun (Younger Kids) 74th St. MAGIC, 74magic.com 92Y, 92Y.org apple seeds, appleseedsnyc.com Applause New York (0-5), applauseny.com Eastside Westside Music Together, eswsmusictogether.com Gymboree Music, gymboreeclasses.com Gymtime Rhythm & Glues, gymtime.net Hands On!, handsonformusic.com The JCC in Manhattan, jccmanhattan.org Kidville, kidville.com Little Maestros, littlemaestros.com Moey’s Music Party, moeysmusicparty.com Music For Aardvarks, musicforaardvarks.com Music Together In The City, musictogethernyc.com Musical Kids International, musicalkids.net School For Strings, schoolforstrings.org The Early Ear, theearlyear.com TLB Music, tlbmusic.com WeBop At Jazz At Lincoln Center, jalc.org

Get Serious (Older Kids) 92Y School Of Music, 92y.org Applause New York (5-10), applauseny.com Church Street School For Music And Art, churchstreetschool.org The Diller-Quaile School Of Music, diller-quaile.org Greenwich House Music School, greenwichhouse.org Lucy Moses School at Kaufman Music Center, kaufman-center.org/lms Third Street Musical School Settlement, thirdstreetmusicschool.org Turtle Bay Music School, tbms.org Riverside Piano Studios, riversidemusicstudios.com

notes on sheet music. Young children, he says, connect more easily with the stories that are told through these pictures. Once they learn to read the notes, beginning students are able to master simple pieces relatively quickly. Getting to the next level becomes more challenging. “It requires a lot of concentration and focus to read music for the right and the left hands,” Alexeev explains.

Violin While the smaller sizes of violins are available for younger students, Lucy Moses School’s Taylor suggests beginning formal lessons at age 5. “Usually by this age, children have the coordination they need to begin playing violin—and also the ability to focus.” That’s where classroom experience, even if it’s just at the preschool level, can help with holding an attention span for a half hour, the minimum for many lessons. (For younger ages, parents can consider the Suzuki method, which mixes group and individual lessons alongside heavy parental involvement and is taught for other instruments as well.) continued on page 36

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Photo courtesy of 92Y

Wood Instruments

Common challenges for violin beginners include learning how to hold the violin up and how to use the bow. This can be frustrating for students because they won’t actually be able to start playing the instrument until they have mastered the “set up.”

Again, it’s important to celebrate the progress here rather than focus on whether or not they’ve begun to play. That said, Taylor says he doesn’t wait long to get students bowing on the strings, because he doesn’t want them to lose interest. The next hurdle is getting students to play in tune, coordinating moving their fingers along the violin while maintaining proper form.

Guitar Mike Cioffero, a guitar instructor at 92Y, has taught students as young as age 3 but strongly recommends waiting at least until kindergarten. “8 or 9 is a better age,” he says. “By that time they’ve had more school experience and they’re more physically ready to play the chords and put their arms around [the instrument] comfortably.” Half-sized and three quarter-sized models are certainly available for younger students (for 5-7 and 8-9 respectively), but you wouldn’t want a budding musician to lose interest because the instrument is too uncomfortable to manipulate.

“Beginners are surprised how hard it is to even get one note to sound good,” Cioffero says. But the good news is that many kids’ songs or even simple rock songs can be played on just one string. Especially with younger students, Cioffero integrates fun into lessons—for example, he uses a stopwatch to see how fast a student can play all their chords in a row.

“These games are a really great way to move forward with their progress without being too strict,” he says.

The next challenging step will be putting whole songs together with chords and melodies, which requires a higher level of coordination and multitasking.

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New York Family | November 2013

Diller-Quaile’s Kathy Yiannoudes recommends 8-10 as the earliest starting age range for the flute or clarinet. “It has to do with physical development and readiness for a one-on-one lesson,” she says, noting that students need to be able to sit and participate for at least 30 minutes. Exceptions can certainly be made for younger students, thanks to smaller clarinets and curved-head joints for flutes (that are more manageable for kids as young as 6), but in these cases, it’s even more vital to select an experienced instructor.

One advantage that Yiannoudes sees in older pupils is that many of them already know how to read music, allowing them to focus on technique. Most fundamentally, beginners need to learn proper finger placement, so that they can fill the right holes without looking, and learn how to direct their breath and blow into the instrument to produce the best sound. But she views another skill as even more crucial: “The very important beginner skill that every student needs…is learning to focus for the length and lesson of practice session.” Again, comes more easily for older children, who are likely more used to concentrating for longer periods of time in the school setting.

Drums Like the piano, the drums are one of the most popular instruments for tots because of their accessibility.

Gratification is immediate, which is important for keeping young learners engaged. “You make a rapid movement and you get a sound…I think that’s very exciting for kids,” says Nick Birmelin, a percussions instructor at Turtle Bay Music School.

“For that really young age group, you want to make it so that they’re having a pleasurable experience with music—you can attach it to storytelling or singing or combining it with some kind of game,” he says. With students as young as 3, he focuses on teaching rhythm by having children dance and play along with simple percussion instruments as he plays guitar, guiding them through specific patterns to clap along with.

As older students start private lessons around 7 or 8, they begin to learn how to properly hold drums sticks and how to make a basic rock beat. After incorporating techniques like basic note reading and posture corrections, Birmelin makes sure to dedicate some time playing together with his students, both for the joy of jamming and for learning that music is often a group effort. www.newyorkfamily.com

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NYC’s

Got Game Our Picks For The City’s Top Youth Basketball Programs Are A Slam Dunk

By Lorraine Duffy-Merkl

Young hoopsters hit the court at the Field House at Chelsea Piers

The Knicks and Nets aren’t the only ones getting ready for the season. Now that the winter sports season is fast approaching, junior hoopsters all over the city are looking for a place to refine their jump shots, free throws, and dribbling technique. Here are the teams, leagues, and clinics around Manhattan that offer your young player a chance to score. Swish!

92Y 1395 Lexington Avenue & 200 Hudson Street Children ages 4-12 can learn the fundamentals of basketball in a fun, unique environment at 92nd Street Y in the 92Y Dribblers program, lessons, and youth leagues. 92Y Dribblers is for kids ages 4-5, while additional afterschool and Sunday basketball programs are offered for children ages 4-12.

92y.org/basketball Asphalt Green Locations on the UES & Battery Park City From learning basic dribbling skills to league play, Asphalt Green’s basketball program is offered on

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New York Family | November 2013

the Upper East Side and, most recently, at their brand-new facility in Battery Park City. Instructional programs start with kids at age 3 by teaching basketball through the fundamentals of movement and then progress to hoopers up to age 14 to help them develop advance ball-handling skills, shooting, and team play. Leagues are available for kids 7-9.

Private lessons and sports camps are also offered at both locations. asphaltgreen.org/basketball, asphaltgreenbpc.org/basketball Basketball City Hunter College & Pier 36 (299 South Street) Basketball City offers one of NYC’s most comprehensive instructional basketball programs.

The Youth Development League focuses on teaching the fundamentals of the game in a fun and competitive environment. YDL is dedicated to small group instruction and real, full-court game situations. Participants are divided into groups continued on page 40

www.newyorkfamily.com

continued from page 38

The Field House at Chelsea Piers offers a variety of basketball programs for children ages 3-14. With Little Athletes classes for the preschool level, plus afterschool and Saturday clinics for the older kids, the Field House offers players of varying skill levels the opportunity to learn the game, master fundamentals, and compete as a team. More advanced players ages 8-14 should check out the Chelsea Piers competitive travel team, CP Evolution. chelseapiers.com

Budding basketballers take their shots at Asphalt Green (left) and YYAA (right)

based on age and skill level and receive the most professional experience from the Basketball City staff. YDL is held at Hunter College on Saturdays at 11am for kids ages 7-16, while various clinics and mini camps are held throughout the year at both the uptown and downtown locations. basketballcity.com Basketball Stars 6 West 75th Street This program is a full-service youth basketball organization made up of former NBA and Division I college basketball players and coaches who work with children ages 3-17 through afterschool programs, private training, travel basketball teams (the BSNY Titans), position-specific mini-camps, summer camps, and birthday parties. Certified coaches assist in building self-confidence, character, and discipline through practice and teaching the game that they love. basketballstarsofny.com DRIBBL VARIOUS LOCATIONS Dribbl is an instructional and recreational basketball program for kids ages 3-14. The Dribbl program aims to develop and refine skills such as shooting, passing, footwork, and ball-handling. Classes are currently available on the Upper East Side, on the Upper West Side, in Brooklyn, and in downtown Manhattan. dribbl.com Fastbreak Sports 1629 1st Ave. (between 84th & 85th Streets) This is an amazing instructional program for kids ages 4-16. With the grand opening of their state of the art basketball center located on the Upper East Side, Fastbreak is able to offer afterschool and weekend classes in fundamentals, competitive leagues, travel teams, small groups, and private lessons seven days a week. Whether your child is a beginner or an advanced player, Fastbreak has the perfect program or team for them. fastbreakkids.com The Field House at Chelsea Piers 23rd Street & West Side Highway

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New York Family | November 2013

Mo’ Motion Basketball & Training 203 WEST 109th Street This program teaches, motivates, and inspires children in grades pre-K to 11 through Mo’ Motion’s skill-based curriculum, which includes weeknight workouts, weekend clinics, and team practices and games. Mo’ Motion takes pride in providing equal opportunities for girls and boys. Their exceptional staff believes in the intense yet friendly structure and style, as well as their ability to use athletic experiences to teach children the values of rigorous training, self-discipline, and team play. momotion.org Slam Dunk @ The JCC in Manhattan 15 West 65th Street School–age programs at The JCC provide experiences that enrich, empower, and engage children. Slam Dunk @ The JCC in Manhattan will help young athletes master offensive and defensive techniques, learn basketball drills, scrimmage, and play games.

Emphasis is placed on teamwork, coordination, and skill building. This class services children ages 6-12. jccmanhattan.org YMCA Various locations The YMCA’s recreational youth basketball programs are a great opportunity for kids to learn the fundamentals of basketball while introducing the concept of teamwork and enhancing self-confidence.

With guidance from expert instructors, young athletes can learn gradually while having fun in a semi-competitive environment. Skills classes and leagues are offered at various branches throughout the city. ymcanyc.org Yorkville Youth Athletic Association East 88th Street From beginner to semi-competitive to competitive and developmental programming, YYAA Basketball offers it all. Children in grades pre-K to 1 are taught skills and drills in a fun atmosphere, while grades 2-12 practice and compete. Additionally, travel/ AAU programs provide competitive basketball to talented players in grades 4-9. Next Level is YYAA’s developmental program geared to take your child’s skills to their full potential. yyaa.org www.newyorkfamily.com

all m S d g An i B e Th t Has e h t e o P On B Her anda s o r m T a A s e s Y Role ctres After m A u , l s hood P n d e l e i r e h o r Sc ight ew M Of Two, C r F w A y d d Pla ther n o Adde A M , : te me voca d Resu A ation n i c c ber Va a We i

By M

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2013 Bruce GlikasBroadway.com

F

lu season doesn’t typically evoke glamour or glitz—and facing the needle for a shot at the local pharmacy isn’t an occasion that generally inspires a cheery disposition. Yet, on a warm fall day, accomplished actress and ambassador to the United Nations’ Shot@Life campaign Amanda Peet arrives at the Walgreen’s flagship store in the Empire State Building, ready to receive her own flu shot and do her part to spread awareness about the amazing Walgreens’ Get A Shot Give A Shot initiative. In partnership with a Shot@Life, Walgreens (which includes the Duane Reade chain), has agreed to donate vaccinations to children in developing countries by matching every vaccine purchased in their stores with a vaccine donation for the UN’s effort.

Peet winces a bit when her shot is administered, but she’s quick to crack a smile afterward and jump right into the cause at hand. “The benchmark we’re hoping to hit is three million shots for kids in developing countries who don’t have access to vaccines—polio and measles in particular,” the mom of two says proudly. “So it’s important to think of it as a community effort and to think of yourself—if you’re a mother—as a ‘global mother.’”

While movie and TV buffs know the 41-year-old actress from her comedic turns in films like “The Whole Nine Yards” and “Saving Silverman” as well as from her television work, which ranges from “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” to a recurring role on “The Good Wife,” her off-screen life has brought plenty of new adventures in the last few years. For three months of the year, Peet and her two daughters—6year-old Frances (“Frankie”) and 3-year-old Molly— land in Belfast, Northern Ireland. The purpose of their journey? To join Peet’s husband, the novelist and screenwriter David Benioff, as he shoots “Game of Thrones”—HBO’s lauded adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire novels—of which he is a showrunner and co-creator.

Quietly, and now publicly, Peet—a native New Yorker and Columbia University alum—has also been exploring her writing and will make her OffBroadway playwriting debut later this month with “The Commons Of Pensacola,” which focuses on a mother-daughter relationship after the mother loses her luxurious New York City life and moves to a onebedroom condo in southern Florida. Though Peet herself does not act in the Manhattan Theater Club production, the cast does include fellow actresses Sarah Jessica Parker and Blythe Danner.

Between acting, writing, and traveling the world as a mom and childhood health advocate, how does Peet juggle it all? “You make it sound so cool,” she laughs warmly. “I have a friend, who’s a mother, who said to me: ‘Strive to be mediocre.’ So that’s my parenting recommendation.” But after chatting with Peet—first, post-flu shot at Walgreens and then a few days later for a longer, more introspective interview— I’d have to differ. Despite her modest jests, there’s definitely nothing mediocre about this born-andraised New Yorker and loving mom.

Amanda Peet poses with Blythe Danner and Sarah Jessica Parker, the stars of her playwriting debut

You’ve been very vocal about your activism with the UN’s Shot@Life campaign. Did becoming a mother inform your opinions?

When my daughter Frankie was born, a lot of my friends weren’t vaccinating their babies and they thought I was crazy because I was vaccinating. My brother-in-law is an infectious diseases researcher and pediatrician at [the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia], and through him I learned why it was important and critical, to vaccinate Frankie and Molly.

It started to feel frustrating that there didn’t seem to be enough people coming out in support of vaccines, so I decided to so.

What’s the big message you’d like to convey to parents about vaccines?

Every 20 seconds a child in the developing world dies from a vaccine-preventable disease. Since we have the medicine, it feels infuriating that the only problem is delivering these medicines to people in need…[So] come to Walgreens and get your flu shot, because it’s good for you and it’s good for children elsewhere.

You and your husband are actually both native New Yorkers. How did the two of you meet?

On a blind date. We always fight about whether we [connected right away] or not. I always say that it wasn’t until the fourth or fifth date that I was smitten with him and I go on about what went wrong on our first four dates, but he always rolls his eyes and says: “You loved me from the get go.”

Was motherhood always something that you had in your life’s plan?

Yes. When I was single in my early 30s, I was like the bird in Are You My Mother? Except I was going on dates saying: “Are you my baby-daddy?” I was a lot of fun to date, I can tell you that.

What have been some of the biggest surprises about motherhood and marriage?

I’m surprised at how much closer I am to my husband now than I was when I married him—and how much continued on page 44

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November 2013 | New York Family

43

Stuart Ramson

continued from page 43

Amanda Peet strikes a pose after getting her flu shot at Walgreens

easier and more amazing our relationship is… I’m a child of divorced parents, so maybe I thought it was going to be this linear thing where it got less and less exciting over the years. So far—knock on wood—that hasn’t happened.

Many of our readers are new or expectant mothers.

Were there any surprising challenges you faced when you first became a mom?

I had a postpartum depression with Frankie. That was the biggest curveball of my parenting experience…

[But] reaching out to other moms who would talk about their ambivalent feelings, or their scary feelings, was incredibly helpful and made me feel less ashamed. There’s just so much shame associated with it and there’s such an incredible, acute feeling of failure that you’re not in this blissed out state. It was hugely important to hear from other people—including Brooke Shields and her book [Down Came The Rain]— who would tell you “I felt the same way” or “I would walk around the city crying.” It was very hard for me because I was blind-sided.

I was convinced that I was born to be a mother and that it was going to be really easy for me… [Also], Ayelet Waldman’s book—it’s called Bad Mother—felt deeply personal to me. Parts of it are very funny, but it exposes the mixed bag that motherhood can be. It doesn’t mean that your character is defective if you’re having trouble handling some of the aspects of being a mom.

You and your family have been known to split your time between different locales, including NYC, L.A., and overseas. How do you make it work?

It’s mostly between Belfast and L.A. right now because “Game of Thrones” shoots in Belfast... It’s not easy, but the girls go to school in Belfast. They go to this little daycare called Over the Rainbow.

It’s adorable and amazing… [More generally], I try to think a lot about the ’70s and how my sister and I turned out okay and about the benefits of benign neglect and of just letting your kids run around and not be entertained and spend a rainy day just dealing with boredom… I remember long car rides without movies! Now I get so panicked when I can’t find the

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New York Family | November 2013

iPad for one of our long flights and I think: “How did my mom do this?”

Both your and your husband’s parents still live in NYC. What do your girls love to do here in when they visit?

They like the Museum of Natural History. And once when I was doing a play at the Lucille Lortel Theater, Frankie’s favorite thing was to come with me. The stage rotated on an enormous plate, and she used to ride the “turntables”—that’s what we called it… [So] she thought my work consisted of sitting around on a turntable with furniture on it.

Your own play, “The Commons Of Pensacola,” opens this month. What can you tell us about it?

It’s about a woman who has been divested of her assets, who at one time was very wealthy, and who goes to Pensacola, Florida, to live in a condo by herself and then gets visited by her daughter on Thanksgiving. And all hell breaks loose. A lot of people will say that I was riffing on Ruth Madoff…I guess it came out of my interest in what happens to family members of notorious people.

Did you have a particular motivation for switching gears from acting?

I think turning 40 was a big moment. I started to realize that I needed another outlet. I had written in college and tried to write for many years, but everything I wrote was not decent enough to show anyone outside of my family. In the last couple years— being over in Belfast and having the girls—I started to feel like I needed something that I could do at home, so I started getting much more serious about [writing].

Also, I think being married to David really made a difference, because he was so encouraging and really brave in being brutal in his criticism… [But mostly], when I think about my daughters and think about them seeing my work and forgiving me—or not—for being away from them, it seemed like I had to take a shot at something with a little more depth than doing four scenes in a movie where I’m somebody’s wife Do you have any new acting projects coming up?

I’m really excited because I’m doing a show with the Duplass brothers, Mark and Jay Duplass. They have a new show called “Togetherness” on HBO. We start shooting in January… Melanie Lynskey and Mark Duplass play husband and wife, and they have a couple kids and are living in L.A. [My character], Melanie’s sister—who’s sort of a drifter and a slightly misguided woman—comes to stay on their couch at the same time the children’s godfather gets evicted and also comes to stay on their couch. So we’re basically like hobos living on their couch. Who may or may not fall in love with each other.

Since you mentioned that you value David’s creative criticism, I was wondering whether the two of you see eye-to-eye on parenting styles?

I think I’m far more neurotic than he is. I’m very lucky www.newyorkfamily.com

Curriculum • Dynamic n io ct ru ert Inst lities • Exp -Class Faci

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World

Amanda Peet steps out in Times Square to support childhood vaccinations

because he is very attuned, but he’s also more mellow than I am. It’s actually a really wonderful combination.

He’s on it, psychologically, but he’s not a worrier… we’re a very good team in that way.

Do you and David have any rules to ensure quality time as a family?

We don’t have any rules about it. Somehow it just works. Today, David sent [the girls] the most boring movie from the “Game of Thrones” set in Croatia where he was just standing in front of a donkey and talking about how the donkey was an actor on set that day. My girls are just eating their breakfast, nonplussed… But deep down, it makes a difference, and it matters that he does that.

What are Frankie and Molly are like right now?

They are very cliché first and second children. Frankie is very cautious, very plan-ful, and Molly is just super id. From when [Molly] could talk she would say: “Mommy, I want you.” She’s very what-you-see-iswhat-you-get… They’re both very imaginative and both can play alone and go on about some story they’re creating for themselves. Sometimes my kitchen seems like a lunatic asylum with several people talking out loud to imaginary people.

Is Frankie enjoying first grade?

She is! She goes off to school with bells on her toes…

The idea right now in first grade is that children should be writing as much as they can and not worry about the spelling. So Frankie’s written probably more books than George R. R. Martin. They’re incredible. The spelling is really interesting and heartbreakingly adorable. I know that I’m going to treasure them for the rest of my life.

“The Commons of Pensacola” opens on November 21 at The Manhattan Theater Club. www.newyorkfamily.com

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10/7/13 5:30 PM

My Gym

Lights!

Camera!

Celebration!

NYC Is Never In Short Supply When It Comes To Cool Birthday Party Ideas. Where To Start? We Turned To The Movies!

By Jana Beauchamp www.newyorkfamily.com

November 2013| New York Family

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birthday guide

H

ere are some of our favorite party ideas at our favorite venues—and if you want to know how we thought

of them, well, let’s just say that we were dreaming of picking a four star venue as worthy as these four star kids’ movies.

“Bend it Like Beckham” Whether your child is already the next Beckham-caliber soccer star or just learning to kick the ball, there are many great options for a soccer spectacular birthday. Super Soccer Stars’ birthday parties include a full Heidi Green

hour of fun, age-appropriate soccer activities that can even be adapted into other exciting themes such as superheroes, princesses, or virtually anything else that your child can imagine. Mo’ Motion offers single- or multisport birthday parties and tailors activities to different ages, skills, and interests.

Energetic instructors coach and lead up to 25 kids for almost two hours. Soccer by Coach Fehr provides all the fun and games so parents can sit back while watching the children have a ball—there’s even a family match or kids’ match just before cutting the cake to celebrate with a trophy and medals.

Hosted in Central Park or Riverside Park,

Nancy Adler

Corbin’s Crusaders’ junior sports parties let boys and girls get a full workout by playing soccer, running relays, and team-building.

“Caddyshack” For future PGA and LGPA tour pros, these

Clockwise from top: Applause, the JCC in Manhattan, Bowlmor Lanes

parties are a hole in one! At Chelsea Piers’ golf parties, little putters get one full hour

wildest dreams come true—and these

tests that involve bubbling potions. At the

of golf activities ranging from golf stalls

birthday venues will make your child’s too.

New York Hall of Science, little wizards can

to putting greens to golf simulators. Kate

Get glamorous at Cozy’s Cuts for Kids,

celebrate with an exciting and educational

Tempesta’s Urban Golf Academy offers

where hair styling, mini manicures, makeup

experience as they explore the largest

one hour of creative golf games, including

application, and beauty art projects abound.

Science Playground. Put on your wizard

birthday-themed putting and target games.

The birthday girl even gets a special jeweled

robes and head to the Scholastic Store for an

It’s sure to be a party that comes in well

tiara. At Let’s Dress Up! dreams come true

exclusive and custom birthday party worthy

under par.

when the girl of the hour transforms into

of a celebration at Hogwarts.

a princess, dressing like Cinderella from “High School Musical”

“Cars”

head to toe for a wonderful celebration

The wheels on the birthday bus go round

with her friends at the magical play castle.

Sit in the director’s seat and create a custom

and round at these transportation-themed

Turn Cinderella’s sewing chores into a fun,

Off-Broadway show about you and your

parties. Join the New York Transit Museum

creative expression at Loop of the Loom.

friends at Broadway Birthday Bashes at

in the bus driver’s seat, stroll along a

Weaving parties allow your little princess

the PIT. These special shows also feature a

platform of vintage cars, design a vehicle,

and her friends to make handwoven

red carpet, photo slideshow, and paparazzi

and swipe through the birthday turnstile for

creations, ensuring that the celebration is

experience. Bust a move at Kids at Art’s

a car-ty party. You can rough and tumble at

extra special. The birthday princess and her

Arty Parties, where birthday stars can shine

Gymboree’s construction zone party, where

friends will enjoy all of the arts and crafts

as they combine art with karaoke and disco.

kids can drive through the gym and park for

stations at Tie Dye Town, from customizing

If it’s a serenade your little one desires,

activities led by a trained Gymboree teacher.

princess wands to decorating your own

check out TADA! Youth Theater’s birthday

Is your birthday engineer looking to build

princess crown.

options. The TADA! performers will sing for the kids, plus, they can accommodate

a futuristic vehicle of their own? Indulge their inner builder with a robotics party at

“Harry Potter”

groups of just about any size. Hit some high

RoboFun. Beep beep for birthdays!

Use apparition and transport the birthday

notes and have some fun celebrating at the

party to SciTech Kids, where the Out of the

Gaga Center. Your bundle of energy will

“Cinderella”

Ordinary Dream party means a special Harry

Cinderella’s fairy godmother made all her

Potter celebration with wizarding trials and

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New York Family | November 2013

continued on page 50

www.newyorkfamily.com

Come Play Yoga at Karma Kids Yoga!

Warriors can do anything.

Bring the zen home with our new CD, Come Play Yoga!, Mom’s Choice Awards Winner, available at CDbaby.com, Amazon, selected tracks on iTunes and now playing on Pandora.

Yoga for Babies Toddlers, Kids, Teens, Families Community Yoga Circus Yoga Prenatal Yoga Prenatal Pilates Free Story Time Yoga Yoga Birthday Parties Special Events Teacher Training

KARMA KIDS YOGA 104 West 14th Street, NYC PEACE-IN STUDIO 102 West 14th Street, NYC

karmakidsyoga.com | (646) 638-1444

A picture is worth a thousand words, a hundred smiles and lots of belly laughs!

Art therapy workshops, where work is fun.

Art therapy promotes a comfortable, supportive, and creative environment for children with special needs. Functional, sensory, and social experiences may be safely explored.

Explore art therapy at the manhattan behavioral center www.manhattanbehavioral.com

New York City’s Premier Art Studio for Children, Teens and Adults!

ArT CLASSeS ❤

ArTY PArTieS 1412 Second Avenue (Bet. 73rd & 74th St.) www.kidsatartnyc.com ❤ 212-410-9780

birthday guide

continued from page 48

Seriously Art-Rageous Fun–

Let’s Gogh Art NYC! The mobile art program that brings the fun to you!

Children’s Museum of Manhattan

have the entire space exclusively for their party with tons of gaga time, great music, and pizza. And the ultimate way to channel Troy and the gang? An actual “HSM” party from Deb’s Family Disco! At this star-studded bash, kids can dance, sing, and strike a pose for their own “HSM” movie poster.

“The Incredibles” Let your little superhero unleash their powers at one of these supreme party venues. At 92Y, the gym has a two-story GymMaze

Register now for:

climbing structure with ball pools, monkey bars, rope swing, spiral tunnel slide, and an attached air bounce room. The party is sure to

•BIRTHDAY PARTIES that rock!

be a striking success at Bowlmor Lanes, where birthday bowlers

•ART CLASSES, PLAYDATES and CREATIVE ART PROJECTS FOR GROUP EVENTS that roll!

the adventure. Blast off into the fun zone by celebrating your little

•plus GLITTER TATTOO ARTISTS, FACE PAINTERS and STORY ART!

will even bring home a sign-able bowling pin to commemorate super hero’s birthday at Applause. Customize the party to include singing, games, dancing, and a performance.

“The Jungle Book” Take a walk on the wild side with these jungle-themed bashes.

Be a party animal at Art Farm in the City’s farm animal party, complete with a petting zoo, art project, farm-themed place settings, and a t-shirt for birthday child. Roar with excitement at appleseeds’ Welcome to the Jungle party with free play and

Learn more at:

guided activities in the sports playground. Go on a Jungle Safari at Citibabes in their 1,500 square foot indoor playground. You’ll have a personalized safari-themed cake or cupcakes, themed decorations, and, as a special addition, a stop at the petting zoo to the safari ride!

“Karate Kid” Wax on, wax off! Your guests will get a kick out of an East Side Tae Kwan Do party with Tae Kwon Do, ninja, and board breaking themes. At Gymtime’s 90-minute martial arts parties with tons of gym fun, guests are sure to karate-chop to it for your birthday boy or girl’s big day. Asphalt Green offers a special martial arts party as

www.nyletsgoghart.com 917.704.0102 50

New York Family | November 2013

well as other options to customize the perfect birthday party—count on one hour of sports and 30 minutes of eating and celebrating in a decorated space.

www.newyorkfamily.com

DIY DECOR: BALLOONS, BALLOONS, BALLOONS

By Christine Wei Few things scream “children’s party” like bobbing balloons. If you’re looking for easy, cost-effective ways to add a pop of color and dash of whimsy, try these DIY balloon decor ideas and see pinterest.com/newyorkfamily/party-balloons for more inspiration.

Confetti Galore: One of our favorite balloon trends is the evergorgeous clear balloon speckled with colorful confetti. With smaller chunks of confetti, slip a rolled-up paper cone into the neck a balloon that hasn’t yet been inflated and funnel it in. With bigger chunks, fold up the confetti so that it can fit into the neck, then use a pen to push it through. The possibilities here are endless—metallic, pastel, dinosaur-shaped—so be creative!

Remove the cone and blow up the balloon, then tie as usual. Looks best with helium.

Four hands are better than two.

Art therapy with siblings.

Blinged Out Tips: Brush the pointy tips of blown-up balloons with thinned down white glue. (Either use a brand like Mod Podge or add enough water to a good old classic like Elmer’s so that the glue isn’t too goopy to spread.) Roll tips on a large piece of paper spread with a thin layer of glitter or dip into a bowl of glitter, patting on additional glitter to fill empty patches when necessary.

A Wall of Rainbow: You don’t need to get fancy with helium to create an airborne effect. Fix one to three rows of rainbow-colored balloons to the wall with just a bit of Scotch tape, rolled up with the sticky side out. If creating more than one row, each column should be uniform in color. Right below each balloon, tape a few strands of color-coordinated streamers at the top.

Double-Layered Fun: Another pretty trick for clear balloons. Insert a pen or straw into the balloon for the inside, then push it into the neck of the clear balloon. Line up the necks of both balloons and remove the pen. For inflation, you’ll need a helium inflator or air pump, first inserting the nozzle between the balloons and blowing up the outside balloon, all the while pinching and hanging on to the inside balloon. Pinch at the top of the necks and remove the nozzle, then insert it into the neck of the inside balloon. Inflate until desired size, remove nozzle, then tie.

Art therapy promotes a comfortable, supportive, and creative environment for children with special needs and their families.

Explore art therapy at the manhattan behavioral center www.manhattanbehavioral.com

NOW INTRODUCING

MAKE MEANING MOBILE!

A note about helium: There’s no denying the awesomeness that is floating balloons. Most party stores around the city rent big helium tanks, or you can purchase smaller ones that fill up to 50 balloons for around $30-$40 at stores like Target.

FREE GIFT!

“MAJOR LEAGUE” Take me out to the ball game! Your little rookie can have a baseball

Mention this ad and get a free gift for the guest of honor!

party customized to their wishes at Simply Sports. Choose different from sports like baseball and whiffle ball to play. Kids in Sports designs a party to suit your child’s sports interests and abilities.

Their coaches facilitate a memorable hour of sports fun, relay races, and cooperative games. Make it a double header at The JCC in Manhattan. From sports to dance, they’ll plan a party that is sure to make your tiny athlete’s birthday special in every way. At Yorkville Youth Athletic Association, you can request one of the professional

Our award winning parties have hit the road!

Party themes include: Spa Day, Cake Decorating, Candy Couture, Painting Party, and more!

Call our event specialists to design a custom creative party at any location!

directors to lead a party in baseball or combination sports parties.

“A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM” Spend the day at the museum with one of these hands-on parties— which all include museum admission for you and all of your guests.

Dive through 20,000 leagues under the sea at the American Museum

continued on page 52

www.newyorkfamily.com

soap

making

ceramics painting

book

making

candle making

glass

making

cake

decorating

contact: (646)723-9652 or visit makemeaning.com November 2013| New York Family

51

birthday guide

Birthday Parties at 74th St. MAGIC Please join us for:

continued from page 51

HAVING YOUR CAKE AND EATING IT TOO. . .

WITHOUT ACTUAL CAKE

By Mia Weber When it comes to planning a fresh and fun birthday celebration, there’s no rule that you have to go the traditional cake and ice cream route. We’ve rounded up a few ideas to make dessert a deliciously interactive piece of the party.

Cupcake Bar: It’s no secret that cupcakes’ dominance as the dessert du jour shows no sign of dropping off any time soon, making them the perfect way to modernize any celebration.

Let kids unleash their inner baker by setting up a cupcake bar—simply prepare cupcakes in your fave flavor and lay out

n and ...a super fu affordable arty gymnastics p

a spread of multi-colored frostings, seasonal sprinkles, and even toppers like gummy animals, and fresh berries.

Make-Your-Own Caramel Apples: While caramel apples are naturally suited to the autumn season, there’s no reason you can’t whip up this DIY dessert for birthdays year-round. We love the idea of cooking up caramel sauce (a great activity to do with older kids and tweens) and letting guests dip their apples in an array of toppings.

Where:

Chocolate Pizza: This sugary twist on a savory classic is sweeping

MAGIC’s fully equipped gym, baby gym, sundrenched party room and rooftop playground

birthday parties across the city—and luckily for parents, it’s as easy to make as it is fun to eat. Pick up some pre-made pizza dough and prepare it in the oven according to dough’s instructions (usually, rolled out on parchment paper and brushed with melted butter to bake at 450 degrees Fahrenheit for 20 minutes). Then set out toppings like

When:

Nutella, peanut putter, chocolate sauce, coconut shavings,

Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays

nuts, fruit, and assorted candies and let the kids top the dough to their hearts content.

For younger kiddos, try a mess-free option by heading to Union Square for a Chocolate Pizza from Max Brenner. Their

RSVP:

deluxe version is made with melted milk and white chocolate

212.737.2989 www.74magic.com

meteors and an ice cream snow ball. Include melting campfire marshmallows as a bonus treat. $7.50, maxbrenner.com.

of Natural History, where the birthday child and friends explore the motion under the ocean. At the Children’s Museum of the Arts, put the “art” in “party” as you curate your own experience, including free time in the museum, a private art project (such as making a 3D sculpture), and food and cake. Enthusiastic educators, musicians, and artists lead the fun with fantastic art projects, music, and

Under the red canopy 510 East 74th Street (off York Ave.) NYC 212.737.2989 www.74magic.com

adventure at the Children’s Museum of Manhattan. Themed decorations—including stuffed animals, books, and signs—are included as well as a personalized cake from Magnolia Bakery.

“THE SOUND OF MUSIC” It’s a special symphony at these musical venues. Sing and celebrate a happy birthday in style at TLB Music with their combination musical and playroom birthday parties. From a Music Dance &

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New York Family | November 2013

NYFamilyOctober13-Half-V-Bday.indd 1

www.newyorkfamily.com 10/7/2013 6:38:00 PM

Storytime Party to Broadway Bound Party, Discovery Kids has a rocking good time for birthday kids of all ages! Kidville offers the signature Rockin’ Railroad music celebration, in which everyone is all aboard to rock, play and celebrate in their expansive facility.

“Spirited Away” You’ll be om-ing for peace, love, and birthday joy at these yoga celebrations. Don’t miss the GLOGA party at Karma Kids Yoga with glow-in-the-dark fun with props and pop music along with glow bracelets and necklaces, and flashy-blinky rings. Have a SPA-tacular birthday at Yogi Beans with a custom yoga class for your birthday bean. Enjoy deep relaxation, a signature scented-lotion foot massage, and aromatherapy, then chill out with a manicure or pedicure, henna tattoo, and cucumber eye mask. See the light in the coolest way when you celebrate with iLuminate. In a pitch black theater, neon light suits glow and flash in sync with the moves of the performers wearing them, who leap, spin, and stomp across the stage.

“Stick It” Gymnastics birthday parties will make your little one flip.

At 74th St. MAGIC’s legendary gymnastics parties, you’ll jump, tumble, and have an unforgettable day—especially when the birthday child soars through the air in their exclusive flying swing. At Jodi’s Gym, parents and kids tumble with joy during an action-packed hour and a half Top: Asphalt Green; Bottom: Kate Tempesta’s Urban Golf Academy

www.newyorkfamily.com

continued on page 54

November 2013| New York Family

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birthday guide

continued from page 53

The Scholastic Store

Super Soccer Stars

in which guests swing from bars, balance

“Toy Story”

in a 1,000-square-foot space in Chelsea

on beams, tumble, climb, and stretch to

Every great birthday party should go “to

where guests enjoy playing with all the

their hearts delight. My Gym UWS offers

infinity and beyond!” At the classic FAO

toys and getting messy at sensory-based

active celebrations jam-packed with games,

Schwarz, play with the hottest toys, create

art stations designed for inquisitive and

puppets, songs, special rides, and more. In

custom toys, and do a birthday dance on the

energetic toddlers.

New York Kids Club’s state-of-the art gym

“BIG” piano. Or use the entire Playgarden

facility, enjoy a full hour of fun that revolves

facility, including the indoor playground and

“WILLY WONKA AND

around lively music, obstacle courses, a 20-

party level. There, treat the birthday child to

THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY”

foot trampoline, swinging, singing, dancing,

a custom t-shirt and the guests to a chance

Everyone’s like a kid who gets a golden

and more.

to soar like Buzz Lightyear via zipline. Kids

ticket with one of these sweet parties. Build

at Work provides a birthday celebration

your own sumptuous chocolate house at

VENUES

continued on page 55

74th St. MAGIC 74magic.com

East Side Tae Kwon Do

Loop of the Loom loopoftheloom.com

92Y 92y.org

eastsidetaekwondo.com

Make Meaning makemeaning.com

American Museum of Natural History

FAO Schwarz fao.com

Mo’ Motion momotion.org

amnh.org

The Gaga Center gagacenter.com

Moey’s Music Party moeysmusicparty.com

Applause NYC applauseny.com

Gymboree Play & Music

My Gym UWS my-gym.com

appleseeds appleseedsnyc.com

gymboreeclasses.com

Mystery & Mayhem

The Art Farm in the City theartfarms.org

Gymtime Rhythm & Glues gymtime.net

mysteryandmayhem.com

Asphalt Green asphaltgreen.org

HCK Recreation Inc

New York Hall of Science nysci.org

Bowlmor Lanes bowlmor.com

advantagetennisclubs.com

New York Kids Club nykidsclub.com

Broadway Birthday Bashes at The PIT

HiArt! hiartkids.com

New York Transit Museum mta.info/museum

broadwaybirthdaybashes.com

iLuminate iluminate.com

Playgarden playgardennyc.com

Chelsea Piers chelseapiers.com

The JCC in Manhattan jccmanhattan.org

RoboFun robofun.org

Children’s Museum of the Arts cmany.org

Jodi’s Gym jodisgym.com

The Scholastic Store store.scholastic.com

Children’s Museum of Manhattan cmom.org

Karma Kids Yoga karmakidsyoga.com

SciTech Kids sci-techkids.com

Citibabes citibabes.com

Kate Tempesta’s Urban Golf Academy

Simply Sports simplysports.net

Columbus Gym columbusgymnyc.com

ktuga.com

Soccer by Coach Fher coachfher.com

Corbin’s Crusaders corbinscrusaders.com

Kids at Art kidsatartnyc.com

Super Soccer Stars supersoccerstars.com

Cozy’s Cuts for Kids cozyscutsforkids.com

Kids at Work kidsatworknyc.com

TADA! Youth Theater tadatheater.com

The Craft Studio craftstudionyc.com

Kids In Sports kisnyc.com

TLB Music tlbmusic.com

CuRious Candy by Cynthia Rowley

Kidville kidville.com

Tie Dye Town tiedyetown.com

curiouscandy.com

Let’s Dress Up! letsdressupct.com

Yorkville Youth Athletic Association

Deb’s Family Disco familydisco.com

Let’s Gogh Art letsgoghart.com

yyaa.org

Discovery Kids discoveryprograms.com

The Little Gym thelittlegym.com

Yogi Beans yogibeans.com

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New York Family | November 2013

www.newyorkfamily.com

birthday guide The Craft Studio’s chocolate house party

Think Outside The Piñata

By Danielle Kraese ready for all pint-sized contestants, with

using unlimited stores of edible pop-ons,

something extra special for the winner.

gumdrops, marshmallows, and other candy

What would a birthday celebration be

more—or create a candy sculpture at one

with out games? From adventure-inspired

of HiArt’s yummy parties. Make Meaning

games to style-savvy crafts, there’s more

Photo booth

encourages you to celebrate creatively

to birthday party activities than simply

Photo booths have become a popular

with cake decorating. The white cake

pinning the tail on the donkey!

feature at adult affairs, but why not let the kids get in on the fun? Use a curtain,

provided is your canvas for edible glitter, sugar shapes, candy bling, and more. Have

“Spy Kids” Obstacle Course

streamers, or balloons for a colorful

an Edible Art Yummy Party at Let’s Gogh

Transform your home into a “Spy Kids”-

backdrop and provide a few silly props. Let

Art, where you’ll start by decorating your

style obstacle course. In a narrow room or

each child channel his or her inner-super

own chef’s hat and finish by drooling over

hallway, crisscross vibrant red streamers

model.

the edible color wheels and mosaic tiles.

across the walls to create “laser beams”

Finally, channel the sweet spectacle of Willy

that your little spies need to carefully

DIY Button Rings

Wonka’s factory with a party at CuRious

maneuver through.

Let your little guests turn brightly colored

Candy by Cynthia Rowley. Whimsical decor

buttons into high-fashion rings. Pick

and yummy treats make both the West

Trivia Game Show

up a package of plain adjustable rings,

Village and the UES locations truly tasty.

Set the stage for a trivia-style game

clear glue, and plenty of buttons in an

show in which the kids compete to see

assortment of colors and sizes. Help them

“Where the Wild Things Are”

who knows the most fun facts about the

use the glue to stack and style the buttons

Unleash your inner beast and go wild! At

birthday boy or girl! Have small prizes

as they please.

Columbus Gym, parties to flip over about consist of romping on bars, beam, rings, and trampoline alongside games using hoops, scooters, balls, and music for a whole

birthday wild one. HCK Recreation offers

hour. Walk on the wild side at the Little Gym,

your birthday wild child excellent indoor and

who partnered with Nickelodeon to create

outdoor tennis facilities designed for birthday

special “Dora the Explorer” and “Go, Diego,

fun. Court time may be divided between

Go!” birthday adventures with games, music,

instruction, drills, competitive games, and

and fun activities created especially for your

match play. Wild thing, I think I love you!

for more birthday ideas, visit newyorkfamily.com/ birthday-parties

Pick Your Favorite Party Experience with Any of the Following Technologies:

A Workshop, Decorations & Pizza, Goodie Bags, FUN!

Fridays at 4PM *

Weekends

2672 Broadway, Loft A NYC | 212.245.0444 | robofun.org

56

New York Family | November 2013

www.newyorkfamily.com

N

ew York City mom of two Barri Waltcher is a career consultant and, as a New York Family blogger, our best resource for helping at-home parents who hope to transition back into a satisfying career, whether in their previous field or a new one.

A former lawyer herself, she co-founded Mind Your Own Business Moms (MYOBmoms.com) alongside bestselling author Pamela Weinberg of NYC parenting guide City Baby. Here’s a taste of the great advice she’s been offering our readers on our website. For more of her workplace and job hunt wisdom—from resume tips to volunteering as a way to beef up your skills—visit the Parenting in Progress blog on newyorkfamily.com.

A Playlist For Perspective The schoolyear is great time for stay-at-home parents to start considering going back to work. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Here’s my essential playlist to help navigate the process: Don’t Stop Believing by Journey Potential employers are looking for confidence and enthusiasm. Focus on the positive: list of your successes and strengths; write a paragraph about two professional accomplishments you’re proud of.

Seventy-five percent of those who want to return to work after a parenting break succeed!

Work It Out Our Career Blogger Helps At-Home Parents Navigate Their Return To The Workplace

By Barri Waltcher

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2 You may not want to resume your prior occupation.

An experienced career counselor can help, or you can use reference books (such as Do What You Are

by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger) or online tools (such as helpguide.org/life/finding_ career.htm) to help identify the right career path.

Make a list of the enjoyable attributes of your prior job and see if they lead you anywhere.

Start Me Up by The Rolling Stones Develop a specific plan for your career reentry and make it realistic. Break it down into achievable segments: What major steps have to be taken (decision-making, resume, childcare, networking), and in what time frame will they reasonably be accomplished? Put these goals in your calendar the way you would any other appointment. Then stick to it.

What’s New, Pussycat? by Tom Jones If you’ve been out of the workforce for several years or if you’re pursuing a new career, you may need to update or acquire new knowledge and skills.

Fortunately, New York City has many continuing education programs, trade associations often offer workshops, and strategic volunteering is a great way to gain skills and experience. continued on page 60

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New York Family | November 2013

www.newyorkfamily.com

continued from page 58

Express Yourself by Madonna If resources permit, work with an experienced resume consultant. If that’s not possible, consult resume books and look at sample resumes in your field on LinkedIn. Downplay your parenting gap by using a skills-based resume that focuses on transferable skills rather than chronological employment history.

Prepare an “elevator speech,” which is a two-minute pitch describing your career goals that incorporates your strengths, accomplishments, and aspirations.

Practice it many times.

and ask questions about their career trajectories, what they like about their jobs, and what advice they would have for you.

You’ve Got a Friend by James Taylor Networking is the single most effective job search strategy. Personal contact and strategic use of LinkedIn is a powerful combo. Study LinkedIn, complete your profile, amass as many “connections” as you can, follow companies, and use that knowledge to reach out for “informational interviews.”

The key is to ask for information, not a job. But when there’s a job prospect, cultivate a contact to help guide your resume to the right person.

A Work-Life Balance Approach that’s Easy as Pie One of the biggest frustrations I hear is that it’s difficult to achieve the right work-life balance. If you struggle with your work-life balance, and you want to explore whether it’s possible to recalibrate your life, a helpful way to gain perspective is to visualize your life as a pie.

No Apologies by Eminem Most contacts prospective employers are more interested in what you’ve done professionally than personally (and labor laws inhibit them from discussing family circumstances). Only address your parenting break if asked to and do so matter-offactly: “I was fortunate to be able to focus on my children’s early years, and now I’m looking forward to resuming my career.”

4 Ways to Make the Most of Your Internships I often recommend internships for career changers and adults looking for productive experiences during their parenting years—especially as kids have gone back to school and require a tad less attention during the day. They’re a good way to test out a field and build your resume, and often they can lead to a job.

1. Dress and behave for the job you want.

Your goal as an intern is for the professional employees to view you as someone who fits in and who they would want to work with. Observe and follow the office culture. Always remain ageappropriate, but be mindful of the ways in which your office attire may date you. Similarly, if most of the professional staff takes a short lunch break, you should not take hour-long lunches.

2. Learn about yourself.

Internships are opportunities to learn about yourself and your preferred work environment for the future.

Do you work better alone or in a group? Are you selfdirected or do you benefit from structure? Do you like predictability or spontaneity?

3. Network and establish professional relationships.

Over 70 percent of all jobs are obtained through personal connections, so take the time to get to know the other employees. Invite colleagues out to lunch

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New York Family | November 2013

4. Transmit your goals.

Let people know what you are looking for. If you’re a part-time intern or volunteer, they may not realize you’d be willing to work full-time. Or they may think you have different career ambitions. If you’re interested in a permanent position, make sure the people you are working with know that.

Think about the way you actually spend your time during an average one-week period. List all the major activities in your life: family, commuting, work, sleep, meals, exercise, TV, chores. Calculate how much time you devote to them in seven days (168 hours)— so if you sleep 6 hours a night, that adds up to 42 hours per week. Now draw a large pie (a circle) and divide it into slices that represent these activities.

Spend some time thinking about the results. Are they what you predicted? Do they reflect your priorities? Are you satisfied with the way you spend your time? Any surprises? Anything you’d like to change?

Draw a second pie and divide it to reflect how you want to spend your time. This is a chance for you to add or expand categories that are important to you and remove or shrink ones that aren’t.

If you conclude that work or family occupies too much or too little of your time, you can either embrace the imbalance or recalibrate your time. Many of the women I work with shift their perspective rather than their schedules after they analyze the way they spend their time. They evolve from feeling out of whack to accepting that their situation is due to an important value or priority that they cannot or are not willing to change. Someone struggling with career demands might reframe their perspective from “my career is keeping me from seeing my children” to “I want to spend as much time as possible with my children, but right now it’s important for me to make money so that I can save for their education.”

The shift may seem subtle, but it can change the way you experience both parenting and your career. Of course, other clients decide to reallocate their time and shape their career plans differently after they study their schedules—it all depends on your priorities. www.newyorkfamily.com

THE

OF

MOMS

R E A L E S TAT E : PA R T 2

In The Second Installment Of Our “Parents & Real Estate” Series, Four Local Moms—And Real Estate Power Players—Explain What “Location, Location, Location” Means To Them Personally

By Eric Messinger Last month we introduced our readers to four outstanding local mothers, all at the top of NYC’s vibrant real estate industry. From their personal stories of finding “home” to sage advice on the benefits and drawbacks of both the big city and the ‘burbs, it was clear that each had a special perspective on family living. Readers loved hearing from them too, so we’re back with more: four awesome moms on work, family, and their own decisions about where to live. Who better to offer living tips than women helping to shape the city’s neighborhoods and real estate landscape?

SALLY GILLILAND, DIRECTOR OF ARCHITECTURE AT THE HUDSON COMPANIES

What do you love most about your job?

I love to make things, whether it’s designing buildings at work or doing hobbies like blacksmithing in my free time. I have a job where I get to make things all day long.

What are your job’s biggest challenges?

The big challenge is to accomplish our architectural goals within a budget, but I regard that as more of a test of ingenuity than an onerous challenge.

Tell us about a career highlight.

Jay Condo in DUMBO was one I especially enjoyed because it was thrilling to work on such a huge, complicated project. It’s a 33-story apartment building that was completed in 2007... I was involved in all aspects of it from the start of design through construction.

Do you have any personal rules or priorities to help you balance work and home life?

As a parent of three kids, I have learned that flexibility is key. I take pride in being able to manage all of my responsibilities, both at work and at home, with intelligence, diligence, and good humor.

Sally Gilliland with her husband, Dan, her daughters, Macy (left) and Claire (center), and her son, Jamie (right)

Describe your main professional responsibilities.

My role is to lead the design process for all of Hudson’s projects, most of which are new apartment buildings. I select the architects and engineers, define a program that meets Hudson’s vision for the project, and manage the design process. www.newyorkfamily.com

What neighborhood and in what kind of housing do you live?

I live with my husband Dan, who is also an architect, our 22-year-old son [Jamie], our 19-year-old daughter [Macy], and our 13-year-old daughter [Claire] in a three-story 1903 house in Ditmas Park, Brooklyn. We moved there 10 years ago after spending 14 years in a prewar apartment building on Eastern Parkway.

Two architects naturally have strong opinions about their own home, and we agreed the goals were: single family house, natural light on all sides, private outdoor space, and a driveway or easy parking. continued on page 62

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What do you like most about your neighborhood?

It’s dense enough to be active and interesting, but also removed from the city and quiet... When I walk my dog around our neighborhood, I get a real sense of calm and happiness.

Tell us about the key factors that originally compelled you to your present living situation.

When Dan and I first moved to Brooklyn from Manhattan in 1989, we were newly married. But after 14 years, living in a 185-unit co-op started to wear on us...[and] by 2003 there was no “edge” left at all to the neighborhood—well-heeled Manhattanites were moving into our building, and apartment values stated to soar.

So we took the opportunity to sell our apartment for more than three times what we paid for it and bought our six-bedroom house for the same amount.

Tell us about your children and about some of the neighborhood places and activities you like to share with them.

When our kids were young, we spent a lot of time at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and made use of all the other great Brooklyn venues: the Prospect Park Zoo, Brooklyn Museum of Art, Brooklyn Children’s Museum, and Prospect Park... We always took our kids exploring [too]—to Queens to see the Noguchi Museum and eat ices at the Lemon Ice King, or to Brooklyn’s Chinatown to shop at an enormous Chinese supermarket.

What are some of your favorite pearls of advice for families who are figuring out whether to move to the suburbs?

New York City kids are exposed to a diverse population, see how all types of people live and work together, and learn by osmosis how complex our society is. That exposure teaches them to be tolerant of other people and to be self-sufficient. There are endless and constantly changing ways access the arts, education, and sports, which makes the city perpetually interesting.

Frances Katzen, Managing Director at Douglas Elliman Describe your main professional responsibilities.

Advising clientele on their real estate acquisition or sale and brokering the communication lapses amongst all parties as the deal moves towards closing and the product is transferred.

Do you have any personal tips for balancing work and home life?

Create space within the day to have the family time both in the morning and evening so that when you are in work mode, you don’t feel that you are losing or are feeling guilty for being away at other times.

Maintain an appropriate degree of boundaries between business and family life; it’s important to be in each environment fully, otherwise everyone loses

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and you are only at 50 percent of your best.

Where do you live and in what kind of housing?

We lived in a cool duplex townhouse in the West Village, but upon having our baby we bought on the Upper West Side/ Central Park West.

We found a classic seven that needed an entire overhaul.

The place had not been touched in Frances Katzen with her husband and her daughter, Freya over 30 years, and the condition was appalling… [but] it faced the park, the light was phenomenal, the proportions of the floor plan were perfect, and the scale of the rooms was fantastic—a true Emory Roth floor plan.

What do you like most about your home?

We created a phenomenal kitchen, with a 20-foot prep station and an eat-in area within the kitchen, so it’s just a really lovely hangout space.

Tell us more about the area. What were the key factors that originally compelled you to buy there?

Trees are the first thing that compelled me to consider the UWS. I grew up in South Africa and Australia, and I never expected to have a child in this city, so it was really important to have the opportunity to expose my child to as much nature as possible. We literally live across from Central Park and walk our little one into the park daily and put her on a picnic blanket on the grass What do you like most about your neighborhood?

And what do you like the least?

I like the laidback vibe and the neighborhood’s rhythm. It’s kid-friendly, stroller-tolerant, and everybody knows what everyone else is dealing with in terms of fatigue, multitasking, and socially wanting to connect. Plus, everyone needs to be able to take their kids to music, dance classes, play areas, parks, sports, and easy food shopping—and the UWS is ideal for all that. The drawbacks are that when you’re a downtown gal by nature, you miss the cutting-edge, hip, fashionable vibe and the food of downtown.

Tell us about your family. What do you like to do with them in your neighborhood?

My husband and I have a 7-month-old girl, and her name is Freya Grace Fahrbach. Freya does swimming lessons with her dad at The JCC on Sunday mornings, Little Maestros [also] at The JCC, and a playgroup in Central Park every day. www.newyorkfamily.com

What are some of your favorite pearls of advice for families who are figuring out where to live in the city or whether to move to the suburbs?

I would suggest living somewhere that allows you a space to be outside of the home, that provides a respite from the everyday frenzy, and that has some nature element to it. We really struggled with the decision to stay in the city or move out, and what ultimately won me over is that if anything happened to my child [in the suburbs] while I was in the city working, it would take me at least 45 minutes to get to her if I was commuting. The other issue is that I still wanted to work, as I feel it is really important for a woman to have her own identity within the family.

Lydia Rapillo, Vice President and Director of Residential Marketing For the Albanese Organization, INC.

As a working mother, I believe it’s important to manage my time efficiently. When my workday ends, I become a full-time mom and devote quality time to my children. I believe in fully immersing yourself in what you are doing at the time, whether it be working or spending time with your children, and this enables me to achieve a delicate balance between my family life and my professional life.

What neighborhood and in what kind of housing do you live?

I live in the area where Kips Bay and Gramercy Park overlap, and we I have a two-bedroom condominium.

What do you like most about your neighborhood?

I like that my neighborhood is located within close proximity to Grand Central Station and Tudor City Park. The schools my daughters attend are both within walking distance, so I value the [proximity] to their schools and extracurricular activities at the Vanderbilt YMCA. I also like the sense of community I have established in my neighborhood.

What do you like most about your home?

We love its open layout. One of the most important features in my home is an open kitchen, which allows me to make dinner while always being able to watch my daughters. We have an open living room and dining room, which allow for ample space for play dates and the occasional scooter ride.

Lydia Rapillo at The Solaire building

Describe your main professional responsibilities.

My main responsibilities involve overseeing the leasing, marketing, and management of three rental properties in Manhattan: The Solaire, The Verdesian, and The Vanguard Chelsea.

What do you love most about your job?

I am very fortunate to truly love the company I work for. The principals of the Albanese Organization are outstanding and set such high standards for quality, excellence, and integrity. Our development projects feature innovative sustainable designs and engineering that allows me to use my creativity in a unique way when marketing our homes.

Tell us about a project that you consider one of your career highlights.

Opening The Solaire truly stands out as a career highlight. The Solaire is the country’s first environmentally sustainable, multifamily rental building, and working on The Solaire—on both the pre-and post-development sides—was an opportunity of a lifetime.

Do you have any personal rules or priorities to help you balance work and home life? www.newyorkfamily.com

Tell us about your family. What neighborhood places and activities do you like to share with them?

I have two daughters, ages 2 and 7. Both are enrolled in wonderful schools that they absolutely love.

We spend a lot of time on the Upper West Side because we love the Swedish Marionette Cottage and oftentimes spend the rest of the afternoon at the Museum of Natural History or the Planetarium.

Another favorite neighborhood is Battery Park City.

My daughters enjoy the parks in Battery Park City and the ability to ride their bikes on the waterfront esplanade. We love the program of events sponsored by the Battery Park City Parks Conservancy—the storytelling and sunset jam on the Hudson are our personal favorites. My daughters love plays and children’s productions—their two favorites were “Fancy Nancy” at the Vital Theater and “Wanda’s Monster” at Making Books Sing.

What advice would you give to families who are figuring out where to live in the city?

I believe it is important to spend time and engage in activities in various neighborhoods to get a feel for that particular community. Focus on proximity to local schools, parks, fields, bike paths, and locations of cultural and enrichment classes for children, because having these family-friendly amenities within walking distance is important. Having continued on page 64

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worked in Battery Park City for the last 10 years, I would urge families to explore this neighborhood as it has become one of the most family-friendly neighborhoods in Manhattan... I would recommend focusing on what your personal goals are in raising a family and looking at what each location has to offer.

Robin Dolch, Founder and President of Hundred Stories PR

Andrew Schwartz

Describe your main professional responsibilities.

I create compelling communications programs for highly anticipated real estate projects as well as for developers, architectural firms, brokers, designers, and financial services firms.

What do you love most about your job? What are its biggest challenges?

I love getting in on the ground floor of a new project, coming up with creative ideas and partnerships, and then working hard to secure the payoff in the form of media and customer interest. Ideally, if I have the opportunity to work on a project Robin Dolch plays with her from the beginning, sons, Milo and Emmett, in I am able to shape the children’s playroom at the narrative from Azure on East 91st Street the outset, and it’s always very rewarding to be a part of the whole evolution of a building. That said, PR is a notoriously stressful profession.

How did you get started in real estate?

Real estate is in my blood. My father is a founder and EVP at Lansco and my mother worked in residential real estate for decades. But it was one of my first PR clients—the Octagon on Roosevelt Island—that sealed the deal. The property had a storied history as a former insane asylum that burned to the ground and was later rebuilt as a model for green living. In my zeal, I got almost every news outlet in the city to cover the opening. Afterward, I only handled real estate PR. Do you have any personal rules or priorities to help you balance work and home life?

As an entrepreneur and workaholic with young children, I knew I needed to have everything within arm’s reach, so I set up my office across the street from my home. That way, even if there is a fire to put out or a client emergency, I can still run home to give the kids a bath or dinner. This decision has been key

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to balancing work and family—or at least trying to.

What neighborhood do you live in? Tell us about your home.

I live on the Upper East Side. I’m an art-deco furniture fanatic. Before the kids, I was always collecting pieces for my apartment at antique shows and auctions.

After the birth of my first child, everything had to be baby-proofed, so most of the furniture went into storage to make room for cribs and changing tables and coffee tables without dangerous corners—and sofas that were actually comfortable! Now that the kids are older, some of my favorites are slowly coming back.

What do you like most about your neighborhood?

The parks, museums, great schools, classes, and activities. Least—the construction of the Second Avenue subway!

What were the key factors that originally compelled you to move to the neighborhood?

My whole family—my mom, dad, and brother—live within a four-block radius. When you have babies, nothing is better and more wonderful than having family close by to help out. Also, I partly grew up in the neighborhood. When I was in high school, we lived on East 72nd Street. It’s home.

How many children do you have and how old are they? What are some neighborhood places and activities you like to share with them?

[I have] two boys: Milo and Emmett, ages 6 and 4.

They love the Kaye Playhouse at Hunter College (which has some of the best children’s plays), the Roosevelt Island tram, St. Catherine’s Playground, Mary Arnold Toys, and Golosi Pizza & Gelato between East 68th and East 69th Streets on Second Avenue, which is very kid-accommodating and will give extra sprinkles ad infinitum.

What advice do you have for families who are figuring out where to live in the city? How about for families who are debating whether to raise city kids or move to the suburbs?

The gap between neighborhoods, from a childamenity standpoint, has really disappeared in the city.

Now, virtually every neighborhood, along with the newest buildings, has a robust offering for children and families. From FiDi and Tribeca to Midtown West and the Upper East Side, a family doesn’t need to compromise… My tip is to stay in the city as long as you can. Treat the city like your backyard and let your kids explore the many wonders: museums, Broadway, restaurants, parks, cultural diversity.

for more urban living tips, visit newyorkfamilY.com

www.newyorkfamily.com

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home&away

TRAVEL

pastry from Bleu Door Bakery before taking in one of the city’s six kid-friendly (and adultworthy) museums.

(L to R) Crystal Caves, Bermuda; snow fun in Stowe, VT

A Wanderlustful Winter Destination Guide To Suit Every Family’s Interests (And Climate Preferences)

By Stacey Gawronski SNOW FUN Where Ice Cream & Snow Adventures Meet Stowe, VT This artsy, hip New England city is blanketed with beautiful bright snow during the winter. But just because it’s cold doesn’t mean a visit to the Ben & Jerry’s Factory isn’t still in order. Kids under 12 enter for free to enjoy the tour and tastings. For legendary ice skating, snowshoeing, and shelter building fun, check out Appletree Learning Center. And, parents, don’t forget to sample one of the area’s fine microbrews while your kids enjoy steaming mugs of cocoa and marshmallows.

The Ultimate Snowbound Escape Vancouver, Canada Vancouver is not just about the slopes, though there’s plenty of terrain to satisfy both novice and veteran skiers in western Canada—not to mention sled rides and rinks perfect for backward ice skating. Off the runs, Vancouver’s toy store mecca, Kids Market Granville Island, features good eats, cool clothing, and unique crafts. Warm up with a hot chocolate and

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A Not-Too-Far-From-Home Respite Saugerties, NY For a destination easily reached by car, Saugerties in upstate NY makes an idyllic escape from the city. Stay at the familyfriendly Smythe House B&B, where owners Justine and David cook a mouth-watering breakfast of each family member’s choosing.

In town, indulge in some quiet time at the Inquiring Minds Bookstore, then fuel up at reputable restaurants like Miss Lucy’s Kitchen for seasonal dishes and must-have desserts (plus a separate kids’ menu), Slices for gourmet pizza (delicious even by tough NYC standards!), and the Main Street Restaurant for comfort classics.

SAND & SUN A Nature & Wildlife Haven Montego Bay, Jamaica Families are more than welcome in Jamaica, where the number of kid-friendly hotels is growing at a rapid pace. Choose from the all-inclusive Half Moon, where kids under 16 eat and sleep for free, or Beaches Negril Resort and Spa, where there’s a club, buffet, and entertainment exclusive for kids. Of course, a slew of cool activities alos awaiting off-site—YS Falls boasts cascading waterfalls, wading pools with underground springs, and tube rides, while Island Route Swamp Safari will make a birdwatcher out of someone in your family.

The Beach Vacation Of Family Dreams Bermuda When the chill bites in the city, better head south where the breeze is moderate and accompanied by the slick sweet smell of ocean saltwater. In Bermuda, lounge on the beach and dive in water sports, then join one of the daily Crystal Cave tours for a sparkling adventure.

Animal lovers will find endless delight at the Aquarium/ Museum/Zoo, a gargantuan complex with more than 200 species of fish and 300 species of mammals, birds, and reptiles. Stay at the Pompano Beach Club for more pool fun and water activities galore.

Florida’s Exotic Getaway Key West, FL In Key West, a calmer alternative to busy Orlando, not only will your family eat well—think fresh fish, continued on page 68

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Get started with horseback riding, cave tours, and picnicking in the historic district of Colossal Cave Mountain Park, then hit up the ArizonaSonora Desert Museum for unbeatable desert animal sightings. For the best way to experience Tucson’s natural beauty, rent bikes for the whole family. The city is known for it’s Mexican cuisine; get a taste at Sir Veza’s Taco Garage, which makes more than 20 taco varieties.

Janet Lackey

RESORTS & PARKS

Making chocolate in Oaxaca, Mexico

Cuban fare, key lime pie, and ice cream galore—but you’ll also keep busy with a flurry of under-the-radar activities. From snorkeling at the Nature Preserve and Marine Park to getting active at the Astro City Playground before a full day of testing the waves at Higgs Beach, no one will ever complain of boredom.

(Psst—Hyatt Key West is an excellent accommodation for families.)

GETTING EDUCATED Filling Up On Food & History Montreal, Canada It’s easy for visitors to get caught up in Montreal’s diverse food offerings, from poutine to smoked meats, but adventure-seeking and history-loving fams have plenty to do, too. Work off your meals at the Allez Up indoor sports facility, where even beginners can get a taste of rock climbing. Transport yourself to an era past along Old Montreal’s cobblestones, then find shelter from the cold at the part museum, part zoo Biodome. Bonus: Quebec City’s famed Winter Carnival—full of snow baths, ice slides, larger-than-life foosball, and more—makes for a great day trip in the first two weeks of February.

Mole, Mezcal & Magnificent Ruins Oaxaca, Mexico Oaxaca, a far cry from the rowdy Cancun of spring break lore, is an excellent option for a family vacation with culture and creativity south of the border. Enjoy a mole lunch at the city’s main market and taste Oaxaca’s famed chocolate in raw or beverage form.

Archaeological sites like Monte Alban, Mitla, and Lambityeco imbue families with a feel for the city’s immense history, and for ultimate immersion, stay at a unique bed and breakfast, like the Casa de las Bugambilias, serving up authentic Oaxacan breakfasts complete with fresh juice and buttery pastries.

In Great Southwest Tucson, AZ It’s all about fun with a dose of learning in Tuscon.

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Family-Friendly Partying Circus Circus, NV Think Vegas is only for high-rollers and all-night partiers? Think again. There’s room for the whole family at the Circus Circus resort, which houses an amusement park encompassing a new backwardlaunching coaster coming this December, bumper car track, 4D theater, and Ferris wheel. Every half hour also brings live circus acts with jugglers, trapeze artists, and acrobats, not to mention Pride Family Bingo on Wednesdays. Should you choose to venture offsite, the Las Vegas Springs Preserve boast a number of museums, garden workshops, train rides, and bike rentals.

Roller Coasters With A Side Of Pie Knott’s Berry Farm, CA Perhaps Disney (Land and World) will always produce nostalgic memories, but for a unique alternative, try Knott’s Berry Farm, a 160-acre Snoopy-themed amusement park. At this former berry farm, you can treat the family to the park’s famous boysenberry pie after you finish off a yummy chicken dinner. But first, hop on the wooden Ghost Rider for a classic rickety ride, Woodstock’s Airmail for a pint-sized vertical plunge, and the Timber Mountain log ride for a modest splash.

ABOVE & BEYOND

An Exotic Mash-Up Of Urban Living & Beach Bumming Thailand Yes, it’s far away, but Thailand is an unparalleled cultural experience for families who love to really get away. Spend a night or two getting acquainted in dizzying Bangkok, brimming with street vendors selling staples like betel leaf wraps and Thai tea. Take a day to explore the landmarks and ruins that make up the Ancient City, then retire to the coast—but not without first indulging in a tuk-tuk rickshaw ride.

Once beachside, delight in hidden waterfalls, coconut ice cream, and, at night, a sky full of stars. Hospitable accommodations abound (we like the Buri Rasa on Koh-Phangan), and their local staff can help arrange a kayak ride or even charter a speedboat for the family.

For more travel ideas, visit newyorkfamily.com

www.newyorkfamily.com

home&away

QUALITY TIME

A HAPPY HARVEST

4

Tabletop Treats

By Samantha Varner

3

5 Tusk. Inspired by nature, the feather design adds a dash of vivid autumnal color. $32 for one, $128 for a set of four, coralandtusk.com

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Get ready to gobble up some seasonally sweet dishes and décor pieces for your kids’ table—all as adorable as they are kid-friendly.

1. Personalized Plates: Customize this year’s place settings with monogrammed plates from Pink Wasabi Ink. A preppy palette and cute turkey graphic coincide with a child’s name or monogram for a one-of-a-kind keepsake on these BPAsafe melamine plates. $22, etsy.com/shop/PinkWasabiInk 2. Tabletop Turkeys: Pottery Barn Kids’ Thanksgiving Feeding set is sure to make your little one’s holiday! Put together a tasting of turkey and trimmings in the sectioned plate and serve your little pilgrim their first sip of cider in the matching sippy cup. The fun turkey illustrations are sure to make dinner time extra fun. $24 potterybarnkids.com 3. Light of the Party: Cast a cozy light on the kids’ table with the Sun Jar Solar Lamp, designed by Tobias Wong, from the MoMA Store. Enclosed in a traditional mason jar is a solar cell, a rechargeable battery, and three LED lights.

When charged by the sun, the jar glows without the hazard of an open flame. $40, momastore.org 4. Dinner Doodle: Turn your kids’ table into an art studio with color-in placemats from Eggnogg. These interactive placemats inspire creativity and keep little ones entertained between courses (freeing mom and dad to take their time enjoying dinner). $4.49, eggnog.net 5. Kids of a Feather Feast Together: Create a sophisticated table setting for older kids and tweens with these embroidered linen napkins from Brooklyn’s own Coral & www.newyorkfamily.com

TURKEY TOM PLACE CARD HOLDERS

By Lindsey Peers

We turned to the artistic experts at The Craft Studio to give us the scoop of creating heartwarming DIY place card holders with your children to go with our harvest-inspired kids’ table picks.

Materials (Makes one turkey) Two Styrofoam balls (one 3” in diameter and one 1” in diameter), tissue paper (foliage hues recommended), Mod Podge glue, foam brush, googley eyes, multi-colored feathers, orange foam sheet, tooth pick, scissors, glue.

Steps: Use the Mod Podge to cover the large Styrofoam ball (the body) with the small pieces of colored tissue in whatever pattern you choose.

First, use the foam brush to put a little glue on the ball, place tissue on top, and then put glue over the entire piece of tissue again. Repeat until it is all covered with tissue. Set aside to dry. Using brown tissue; repeat the same process and cover the smaller ball (the head piece) and set aside to dry. Use a tooth pick to connect the head and the body.

Glue googley eyes to the head. Cut two small triangles out of orange foam for the beak and use glue to attach. Use scissors to slice a tiny resting spot for place cards in the top of the body. Add feathers to the top of the body in a fan shape. Finally, place a seating card with a guest’s name on top of the turkey in the slot.

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PASS THE

PUMPKIN

By Huascar Aquino Pumpkin pie has always been a beloved staple of the Thanksgiving lineup, but with kids in the mix, it’s sometimes nice to go with bite-sized treats. In this recipe, the Westside bakery H Bake Shop dresses up their organic Great Pumpkin cupcakes with chai frosting and candied pumpkin seeds as a twist on traditional harvest flavors.

Makes 24 cupcakes Cupcake ingredients 3 cups flour 1 Tbsp baking powder 1/4 tsp salt 1 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp each of ginger and nutmeg 1 cup pumpkin puree 2 Tbsp. buttermilk 2 Tbsp. sour cream 1/2 cup vegetable oil 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 cups sugar 4 oz butter 5 large eggs

For the cupcakes: Line two 12-cupcake pans with paper liners. Sift flour, salt, baking powder, and spices and set aside.

In one bowl, cream sugar and butter together until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at time.

In another bowl, mix in pumpkin puree, sour cream, vegetable oil, vanilla, and buttermilk.

Add approx. 1/4 of flour mixture to creamed butter, then add 1/4 of pumpkin mixture. Alternate adding the dry (flour) and wet (pumpkin) mixtures to the creamed butter, ending with flour.

Scoop into the cupcake pans and bake for 18 minutes at 325 degrees Fahrenheit.

For the filling: Mix the cream cheese and powdered sugar at medium speed until creamy, then add the vanilla extract and the optional espresso. Put in a piping bag reserve.

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Cheesecake filling ingredients 8 oz cream cheese

1 lb. powdered sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract Optional for grownups: Add 4 oz espresso Chai tea icing ingredients 1 bag chai tea 1/2 cup heavy cream 1/4 cup egg whites 8 oz powdered sugar 1 lb. unsalted butter Candied pumpkin seed ingredients 1 large egg white 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1 cup pumpkin seeds

For the icing: Break the bag of tea into the heavy cream, then heat the cream and let cool. Mix the egg whites and powdered sugar and beat for 5 minutes on medium speed. Add the butter and beat for 10 minutes on medium high, then fold in the cool chai tea cream.

For the pumpkin seeds: Mix the egg white with the sugar before adding the pumpkin seeds. Spread the seeds on a sheet pan and bake at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for 8 minutes. Now stir the seeds and continue baking for 5 more minutes, until golden brown.

Assembling: After the cupcakes are completely cool, take an apple corer and poke a hole in the center. Fill center with the cheesecake mixture, then pipe the chai tea frosting and sprinkle pumpkin seeds on top.

www.newyorkfamily.com

© 2013 Blue Man Productions, LLC.

ASTOR PLACE THEATRE 434 LAFAYETTE STREET

1.800.BLUEMAN BLUEMAN.COM

the last word

The Biological Clock As Her Teen Enters The End Of High School, A Local Mom Has Visions Of Raising Another Baby

On certain days the thunderous ticking of my biological clock is deafening.

Occasionally I stop, pay attention, and think about how life would be, now, on the cusp of 45, with a small baby. Diaper changes at 3am? Temper tantrums?

Babysitters? It all seems so distant as I’m touring college campuses with my high school junior, Jordan. But alas, here it is, the craving for one more baby.

Or is it? Is it a true craving or do I simply want what’s out of reach?

Maybe the thought of never being able to conceive again makes me feel...well, really old.

And maybe, somewhere deep inside, the mourning has begun for that special piece of femininity.

When I get the call that my 9-year-old niece wants to come for a visit, the timing dumbfounds me.

Could this be that rare opportunity where I can show everyone, including myself, how this could work? We welcome Emily without hesitation and start planning the perfect agenda: Dylan’s Candy Bar, FAO Schwarz, the American Museum of Natural History, and more.

Emily, however, has quite a different agenda.

The flight arrives on time. Emily appears holding a stuffed animal and stares at my husband, Bill, and me.

Those dark, serious eyes say it all—she’s nervous and unsure of her snap decision to travel alone and spend time with relatives she sees only occasionally.

But just a few awkward minutes pass before she’s talking about her dad and her school and asking when Jordan will be joining us. After a drive to Roosevelt Island, we park the car, grab the tram, and hit the Manhattan pavement. Dylan’s is a nightmare of pushing, shoving, and whining. We’re overwhelmed.

Did we forget all of this?

We eventually make it out in one piece and head to Clarks’ for sensible walking shoes. Emily is distracted by knee-high boots and high heels. She hates most of the shoes I pick out for her, wrinkling her nose but begrudgingly agreeing to try a few. Emily then caresses a pair of furry boots and looks at me hopefully. I fight back a smile but say, “You’ll be too hot in those.” We leave without shoes.

Because her feet hurt, and she’s hot, she wants to

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go home, she says. I start to panic— until I realize that she means our home.

Of course, I don’t hold the departures from the planned itinerary against Emily. She’s 9.

Perhaps in all my excitement, I’d simply forgotten the realities of the day-to-day challenges that come with life with a young child.

But back at our apartment, we talk, and I’m quickly reminded of how much I love being a parent.

Emily shares about school and friends, the good and the bad, and everything in between. It’s the perfect moment to give Emily a pair of emerald earrings that I no longer wear. She rushes to try them on and pulls her hair up to show them off. “I love them,” she says. “They’re beautiful.”

She squeezes me tight.

The following day, Jordan asks if she can take Emily out for a girls’ day. I listen to them talk as Jordan brushes and braids Emily’s hair, something Emily wouldn’t allow me to do the day before. I try and act like I’m not paying attention, but I’m awestruck

by Jordan’s take-charge attitude and Emily’s eager acceptance. An hour after they leave, Jordan sends me a text with a picture of Emily, who is all smiles and sporting a new pair of purple Keds.

Without even realizing it, I begin to ease into the background. We’re walking around the Museum of Natural History, and I see how comfortable Jordan is holding Emily’s hand and allowing Emily to guide her where she wants to explore. Their light conversation and short burst of giggles floats behind them while they move on farther away from Bill and me. I understand what I’m witnessing, a revealing glimpse into the future, a time and place where, hopefully, I will once again be able to nurture and love a baby—a child that is not my own but my daughter’s.

I stop. I listen for the ticking, but I only hear the soft echo of whispers and footsteps.

Maria Riley is a Southern transplant now living on Roosevelt Island with her husband and teenage daughter. You can follow her family adventures at LifeofRileyNYC.com and @LifeofRileyNYC www.newyorkfamily.com

Illustration by Justin Winslow

By Maria Riley

www.trumprink.com