issue 09 2011

MAY 9TH 2011

09

HCITY DJS

MUSIC IN THE TRON This time round we delve into the world of local DJ talent, covering all from electro to glitch-hop

FRIED CIRCUITS

Meet the lads of Computers Want Me Dead

RADIO GAGA

What’s in store for the future of the 89FM frequency and student radio in the Waikato

GLORY HOLE

Once again, Dave has assembled a gallery of glorious images for you to behold

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Wednesday

*excluding tui blonde and during quiz only

TEAMS OF 4 - 8 Thursday

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HCITY DJS Credits: EDITOR: Art Robinson (editor@nexusmag.co.nz) DESIGN: David Nixon (design@nexusmag.co.nz) ADVERTISING: Tony Arkell (adman@nexusmag.co.nz) NEWS EDITOR: James Manning (news@nexusmag.co.nz) FILM EDITOR: Richard Swainson (films@nexusmag.co.nz) BOOKS EDITOR: Kevin Pryor (books@nexusmag.co.nz) GAMES EDITORS: Sash Nixon (games@nexusmag.co.nz)

Contributors Dirty Old Blair Munro, Shannon Rolfe, Loud American Mackenzie McCarty, Judy’s Sweet Legs, Dr Richard Swainson, Owen “Beef” Hinton”, Honest Matt, Kylie Zinsli, Jess Edmonds-Saunders, Danielle Wall, Mrs. Matthews, Jade Carey, Josh Cooper, Daniel Farrell, Sam & Zane, Esther Coker, Lauren KB, Mandy Suess-Ryan, Rawinia Judson, Caitlin Hayns, Aaron.Letcher, Kate Cogswell, Monique Hamilton, and Campbell “Ultimate Warrior” Weal.

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

Or at least, we think we are.

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, OR ANYONE. WE THINK THAT THESE LITTLE JOKES AREN’T READ BY ANYONE BUT US. AND THAT PERVY GUY IN MY BIO LAB.

WANT TO ADVERSTISE WITH NEXUS? EMAIL adman@nexusmag.co.nz OR call 07 838 4653

NEXUS IS LOCATED AT: Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton PHONE: 07 838 4653

CREDITS & CONTENTS

MAY 9TH 2011

4

EDITORIAL

5

JAMES SEZ

6

THE MAGIC 8-BALL

7-9

NEWS

10

SPORTS THOUGHTS

11

POLICE REPORT

12-17

WSU PAGES

18

LETTUCE

19

FEATURE - INTERVIEW

20-23

FEATURE - HAMILTON DJS

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FEATURE - STUDENT RADIO

26

PUZZLES

27

COMICS

29

FOOD

30-37

COLUMNS AND REVIEWS

38

GIG GUIDE

39

THE BUSTED PAGE

FAX: 07 838 4588 EMAIL: editor@nexusmag.co.nz POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

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EDITORIAL WITH ART COUNTER-TERRORISTS WIN So, the world’s most hunted man has been shot and killed, and his body identified as such by his American enemies.

For almost ten years, he’s been going from cave to cave, hiding out in some of the least pleasant places on the Earth while high-tech, flying robots ducked and wove through Afghan and Pakistani valleys, firing death rockets at anything that resembled an evil bastard.

was one guy, acting on his own and supposedly in the name of a Christian God. So, what do you think will happen when President Obama goes on TV and announces “Yeah, we caught that fungus of a man and we shot him in the face and now we’re going to have a party”?

Instant-martyr, that’s what.

For my entire life (or, at least since I was in high school) the War on Terror has come and gone from the headlines, violently fluctuating and punctuated by invasion, explosion and death.

There have been terror attacks from India to the mid-West of America. The skyline of New York has been altered in the most ugly and horrifying fashion imaginable. The subways of Europe are haunted by the ghosts of those who thought they were safe from the clutching hands of terror or the indiscriminate death of life on the front lines.

Osama bin Laden is dead. He was cornered in a mansion near Islamabad, in Pakistan, and shot in the face by elite American troops, the culmination of a year’s long intelligence program by elite American spies. The man who brought down the Twin Towers, who blew a hole in the USS Cole and who has topped the FBIs most wanted list for a decade is no more.

Don’t get too comfortable though.

Al-Qaeda is not the kind of organisation that needs a single leader. All of the terror cells spread across the globe operate for years without any communication with the other terror cells.

The reason that captured terrorists can’t just be half-drowned and pumped full of LSD until they tell the CIA everything they know is because they don’t know anything. This doesn’t stop them being electrocuted a little bit or beaten with rubber truncheons. Anything they tell the CIA saves lives and that, to a degree, is OK with me.

Knocking out Osama isn’t going to send the whole house of cards tumbling down. He’s not the Emperor from Star Wars.

Al-Qaeda will keep ticking along, being complete dickheads to everyone who doesn’t follow their medieval, woman hating, uneducated understanding of Islam. They might go underground for a little bit, or they may strike out in anger.

Either way, this war isn’t over.

If anything, it just got a whole lot worse.

Now, when a complete sack of excrement (calling himself a Christian pastor) in Florida went and burnt up some copies of the Koran a few months back, the Middle East went off. There were buses being burned up, UN compounds being ransacked, and NATO bases being attacked with increased severity. That

You don’t have to be a psychologist, political scientist or military historian to see that this is what will happen. Al-Qaeda (and plenty of other extremist groups from plenty of other religions) calls anyone who dies in the war against us, the Western blasphemers, a martyr. Whether you’re flying a plane into a skyscraper on the other side of the world or catching bullets in the face in Pakistan, you’re a martyr and there’re a whole lot of virgins waiting for you.

Instant-Martyr Bin Laden will be a rallying cry, the beginning of a new wave of anti-Americanism and that’s only if al-Qaeda agree (with America – which just won’t happen) that he’s dead.

So, we can pretty much expect one of a few things to happen and we shouldn’t act all surprised and be all “but we got Osama derp derp”: we’re going to see more attacks. They’ll be proving they can still fight, they’ll be getting vengeance for the ‘murder’ of their bearded Superman and they’ll be fighting to prove America wrong.

So: yes this is great news. A dickhead is dead.

No: it’s not over just yet.

JAMES SEZ “So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause,” Padmé Amidala.

I remember vividly what I was doing when I found out about September the 11th. I had come back from an evening of hard drinking at a concert and thought it would be a great opportunity to make cheese on toast and settle in to some Cartoon Network.

Flicking through channels in between episodes of Space Ghost, I was confronted with the images of tower one falling, and the panic and mass hysteria that induced.

Having those images thrust upon you gives one a new appreciation for the phrase “a sobering experience.” I was drunk and then suddenly, I wasn’t. Instead I was transfixed on the news without any idea of context or an appreciation of how the world around me had already begun to change.

The images that have stayed with me for the past ten years weren’t the ones you would expect; it wasn’t the towers falling, or the people jumping out of windows, it wasn’t even the guys running toward the falling buildings to drag people out of the chaos.The scenes I still see vividly are the shots of people in Iraq and Afghanistan dancing, because it was symbolic. Not symbolic of a culture, a nation or a religions view to the event, but rather how far we had fallen as a race of people. It was clear that we no longer cared about guilt or innocence and any loss of life was cause for celebration.

Then America responded. It was a clear and concise ethos, a “War on Terror.” It had catchphrases like “if you’re not with us you’re against us” and “we will not rest.” Ironically the biggest transformation that happened on September the 11th was George Bush. The man who sat still and read to a class of first graders after hearing his country was under attack, was hailed as a decider and a man of action. The president who previously had more vacation days than any other leader was pledging to devote every day to fighting terrorism wherever he could find it.

America was at War and its courageous leader was on “a crusade from God” to restore the values of liberty and democracy in countries like Iraq and Afghanistan.

To achieve it he removed those liberties from his own people.

Warrantless wire tapping, enhanced interrogation, Guantanamo Bay and execution through unmanned drones only to name a few. No freedom was too big that it couldn’t be ignored in the search to restore freedom.

Fast forward ten years and we get the bad guy! Osama Bin Ladden was an evil and corrupt man who deserved to die. How did America acknowledge his death and the catharsis that came with it? They cheered “USA, USA” and danced in the streets. It will be an image that will stay with me for a long time to come.

James is the Senior Communications Advisor. His article this week is a fill in for the Waikato Students’ Union President. He wanted us to let you know these are just his views not the organisations He wanted us to put that last part in bold but we don’t listen

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Where do I find a JP? Suzy needs a Justice of the Peace to witness a document.

Where can she find one?

The University has a number of JPs and Suzie can find a list on the University home page at: http://www.finda.co.nz/ business/ac/hamilton-city/justices-of-the-peace/ Or Hamilton wide at: http://www.finda.co.nz/business/ac/ hamilton-city/justices-of-the-peace/ If it is a copy of a document, she must take the original one with her.

The Hamilton Area Citizens Advice Bureau provides advice and information from four locations. They are at 55 Victoria St (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm), 70 Kent St Frankton (Mon-Fri 9am-4.30pm), Garden Place (Mon-Fri 11am-2pm) and the Cowshed at the University (Tues-Thurs 1-3pm). They also have legal, advocacy and consumer services available where you can get more specialised help.

Phone the CAB on 0800 367 222 (0800 FOR CAB) or look at the CAB website www.cab.org.nz

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MAGIC 8-BALL Don’t look away, but instead gaze in terror at the black mass that is the Magic 8-Ball. Watch as it channels the spirits of fallen warriors, consuming their soul energy to predict your future!

Does New Zealand Music get enough air play outside of May? Ask again later Usually no, they dedicate one month per year to NZ music… Of course it’s not enough stupid! Although every year I hope for better so who knows, maybe this year it will be Are we funding shit bands with NZ On Air Music?

Most likely I have no idea which bands they play, this and the lack of publicity probably means yes, yes we are.

Is student radio a thing of the past?

As I see it, yes If you all quit whinging and actually contributed to things it might be epic. But you don’t and probably never will.

If I show you my willy, will you be mine forever?

My sources say no My sources also say there isn’t much down there, so keep your dignity and don’t bother.

What the hell is an Annabel Fay? An abomination of NZ music Too little talent + a Daddy with too much money = a ‘kiwi’ music video shot in Cuba. Cuba for fucks sake. Her song pretty much repeats the exact same words for its entirety. The right way, Annabel, is out the door.

Who won the “New Leaders Debate” on Close Up? Reply hazy, try again A debate between the leaders of Mana and Act got personal and brought out comparisons to Hitler. Neither seemed to really to deliver a knockout punch, ask again in late November because at the moment the only clear winner was the people who chose to mute the TV and read a book.

Is the war on terror over?

My reply is no Terror is something you can never really call a truce with but the likelyhood is it will sit in the background now like the war on Christmas or the war on drugs. In fact you will probably sit down one day to smoke a joint and celebrate a non-religious Christmas and you will still be seeing people fight terror.

NEWS DR. JAMES MCINTOSH: FRIEND, COLLEAGUE, MENTOR BY JAMES MANNING Dr. James McIntosh, a senior tutor within the Department of Marketing passed away in his office late on Friday 29th April. He was 66 years old.

His sudden death has shocked his colleagues, and the Marketing students who had the pleasure of knowing him.

A respected friend, colleague and mentor among the University and the wider community, James enjoyed twelve and a half years at the Marketing Department where his primary role was supervision of the industry based projects in the MKTG499 paper.

An intellectually diverse man, his passion for both management and teaching did not appear till later in his life, according to friend and colleague Associate Professor Ron Garland.

“James was a bright young lad, and we believe he won a scholarship that helped him with his undergraduate degree at the University of Leeds in the UK, where he studied Science,” Associate Professor Garland stated.

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The son of a sheep farmer, born and bred in Gisborne it was only a matter of time before the call back home got to strong for James, who returned to New Zealand where he completed his Doctorate in Science at the University of Waikato. Throught the 70’s and 80’s, he worked at Ruakura, right into the early 90’s.

It was at this time that the government reorganised science into institutes, and he looked to his developing passion in management and marketing.

The University of Waikato has responded to his passing in a number of ways. At the time of writing, the New Zealand flag has been at half mast atop B Block in his memory, while Management Dean Frank Scrimgeour asked for and received a minute’s silence at both Management Graduation ceremonies last Wednesday.

A book of commemoration was available for students and staff members alike to add there tribute. Tributes described him as “very helpful and accommodating”, a “wise respected colleague and dependable friend”, while others saw his “ready smile and easy personality” a pleasure. James’ funeral service was conducted on Friday, 6th May. Rest in peace.

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NEWS GRADUATING INTO A POOR FUTURE Last week hundreds of Waikato University students walked the Graduation road through Garden Place, ending their years of studies at Founders Theatre. With tertiary studies behind them, they now enter a struggling workforce, where unemployment levels are increasing.

Daniel Morales is one of the many graduates facing a worsening economic climate, and said the struggle for the majority of students, is inevitable.

“The economic environment we’re coming into is hard. We have graduates going out into the work force, working at supermarkets at minimum wage. They’re not doing what they’re trained to do because of the financial predicament,” he stated.

BY JIMMY OLSEN In Hamilton, a new Countdown offering 140 positions was swarmed with over 1000 applicants of all ages.

Peter Hughes and wife Anne were among the hopefuls filling out application forms in the queue. They were both made redundant from their jobs in the past year.

A husband of three, Mr. Hughes said despite having 30 years in the telecommunications industry, he had applied for 150 jobs in the past year, including a caretaker, a parking warden and even a graffiti removal person.

“We’ve both come from quite good paid jobs and now we’re applying for minimum wage jobs. But we’ll take anything”, reported the Waikato Times.

The unemployment statistics released last week reveal that the 15-24 age group is the most affected by this. 27.5 percent of young people aged 15-19 are unemployed, up from 25.5 percent in the last quarter. For those aged 20-24, the unemployment rate is 13.5 percent, up from 11.2 percent. Overall unemployment is at 6.6 percent.

Green Party Co-Leader Metiria Turei commented on this stating “John Key’s Government is failing our young people.”

Morales, 24, graduated with a Bachelor of Arts and Bachelor of Teaching conjoint degree. Although he identifies with the stress of fellow graduates, he does admit to having more leverage than others, as his teaching degree secures him work throughout the country.

“Students are struggling, having to break through barriers of age and experience. I’m quite lucky I graduated with a teaching degree, schools tend to try and have a balance of young and old teachers.”

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Morales confided that he’s worried of competing against older and more experienced applicants, though raises his concerns the financial climate is having on school teaching.

“Some teachers sometimes don’t know when to quit. In the financial situation, some are staying on longer to keep their job, which is really detrimental to the system. The older the teacher, the less likely they are to relate to the student.”

He also commented to the possible reasoning behind the increase in the number of higher degree completions, revealed in a Waikato University press release last month. 33 students graduated with a PhD this year, compared to last years’ 18 students.

“Jobs that need a BA are being taken up by those with MA’s.

People are staying on to get a higher wage, but are also incurring a higher debt.”

SHORT NEWS FOR TALL PEOPLE URINE AS POWER? With petrol prices rising like never before, where are you to look for the extra dough? In your wallet? Wrong! Look to your urethra, kids. Gerardine Botte, a professor of chemical and biomolecular engineering at Ohio University, claims to have developed a technology that produces hydrogen fuel from urine.

Botte recognized that urine contains two compounds that could be a source of hydrogen: ammonia and urea. Botte’s technology has the greatest potential for energy production in places where people gather such as airports or stadiums, and says that urine produced by a thousand cows could generate 40-50 kilowatts of energy. The discovery that urine can light stadiums and send us airborne will hopefully be followed by the discovery that sperm can transport us through time, and the realisation that telekinesis can finally be achieved via spit.

TWEEN DRUG-BUST Gone are the days where you would trade marbles and duel with chatter rings in the old school yard. Kids are becoming more and more mature these days, venturing even into the drug trade. Police have charged a 12-year-old boy with trading marijuana for candy outside a Pennsylvania school. Reported to have been the biggest bust this side of the monkey bars, Little Timmy was caught dealing

pot he stole from his stepfather, for candy. He claims he “was only in it for the gobstoppers”, as he was wrestled from his bmx and his yo-yo disarmed, and now faces juvenile charges.

CLOWN NO LAUGHING MATTER A Mexican man living in America has been sentenced to three years in jail, after authorities claimed he wore a clown suit to pick up extortion money from his immigrant relatives. 46-year-old Frank Salvador Solorza was arrested in 2009 after he showed up in what could be the greatest entrance since D-Day, fashioned in a clown suit, wig and pirate hat riding a child’s bike. The Mexican Messiah proceeded to demand $50,000 from his cousins, and threatened to have them deported for lying on immigration papers. Apparently, he wore this disguise to protect his identity. He was then routinely charged with conspiracy, impersonation of an immigration officer and attempted extortion. It seems he will need more than a clown suit for his identity to be protected while in prison. He will quite literally be the butt of all jokes.

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SPORTS THOUGHTS

WITH C-BALL

OSAMA DIED, THE IPL SHOULD FOLLOW SUIT May has come and you know what that means: soon I’ll be able to start writing about Cricket again. Yay, I can almost hear the collective cheers. Soon, that fucking shit stain on the underwear of the cricketing world that is the Indian Premier League will finally finish, shut the fuck up, hopefully wilt and die and stop wasting all cricketing fans’ time in the world that isn’t Indian. INDIA, we get the point, you have heaps more money than everyone else when it comes to Cricket, but no one is watching your crappy competition anywhere else in the world. Or at least I doubt it severely. Why would we want to watch a bullshit over commercialised circus where players that were our idols have become nothing more than one country’s mere entertainment for 2 months. Sky Sport doesn’t even broadcast any of the games, because they know for a fact more people would rather watch Netball, take a baseball bat to the face, or get hassled and power tripped by the Outback bouncers.

Never before had I been so depressed with the sport I enjoy watching so much until the IPL got invented pretty much just to run the ICL into the ground. For those of you that don’t know, the ICL (Indian Cricket League) was created by a TV company that couldn’t get any rights to broadcast cricket on its channels, so it went about making its own cricketing product. Power hungry bitches in India then got pissed off and created the IPL just to run

the ICL out of business and hold onto a monopoly of cricket based content. Fuck the large majority of or public that is impoverished - let’s absolutely ruin 2 months of the year for everyone else in the world so we can whore out our corporations on live television to everyone else, while creating some bullshit premise like “hey everyone look at the awesome Cricket we have on show for you”. I can’t reference that quote because I made it up, so go ahead and take some marks off me for that APA you son of a bitch.

But, you can’t just say things like the IPL sucks without actually trying to prove it. So, I went down to my basement, passed the three Austrian children locked up and the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest, and grabbed some oil, bread and my small portable BBQ. I set to work. To be honest I didn’t actually need the equipment, I just wanted a delicious nugget sandwich while ranting. To actually prove my point I asked my Indian friend Arjun Patel what he thought of the IPL, because being Indian makes him a qualified theorist on the sport of Cricket, and he possesses PhDs in Cricket Studies and Batting Like a Grandma. That second one took him 19 years to complete, and he graduated top of his class. Now, for all the critters that think dropping the Indian bomb alongside stereotypes of an association between that ethnicity and cricket is racist, I checked, it isn’t. It isn’t a stereotype when it’s true. Nor is it racist, unless you got that clever yet unintentional terrorism gag. Arjun and I discovered after a brief chat over Facebook (because talking to someone’s face is overrated), that he doesn’t have any remote interest in the IPL. Case closed. The IPL must suck.

David Bennett MP M P fo r h aMi l t on e a s t

Phone: 07 834 3407 Email: davidbennett@xtra.co.nz www.davidbennett.co.nz

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The problem with the IPL is that it’s taking a sport where the interest has always been in games between nations, instead creating an orientation towards club based rivalry much like the NBA. The players remain the same, sure, but I am not going to get a boner over the Chennai Super Kings playing the Rajasthan Royals. In addition to this, the IPL must’ve hired the douche bag that came up with the ANZ Netball team names. How many teams can you have with some sort of hierarchical reference within the name? Not enough apparently. Oh, and if you are a King, that isn’t nearly as dope as being a Super King right? It must be like being a super saiyan except corny, cheesy, and ultimately fucking lame.

More teams named after crappy David Hasslehoff shows, please.

HAMILTON EAST POLICE REPORT

18TH - 30TH APRIL 2011

WITH CONSTABLE NICK SICKELMORE

In the last fortnight there were 26 burglaries that occurred in the urban & rural areas of Hamilton East.

As shown on the map the burglaries are not in large groups like previous burglary reports, but scattered around.

Circumstances to the burglary: At night the victim’s were asleep and went to bed, leaving the bathroom window ajar, but the doors and other windows locked.

The following morning when they woke and walked into their lounge, they realised that 3 laptops that were left on the coffee table were missing.

The victim’s then noticed that items in the bathroom had been moved from the bathroom window, believing that someone had climbed in the window.

QUESTION FROM THE POLICE: Even though the bathroom window is left open or ajar, offenders will climb in.

Now that the winter season is upon us, it might be worth closing doors and windows.

Firstly for home security and secondly for warmth.

If you have any information that might help Police resolve burglaries, please call the University Constable, Nick Sickelmore on 8582792 or e-mail nsj639@police.govt.nz

Home security advice is available from the East Hamilton Community Policing Centre on Clyde St. As a minimum precaution Police recommend recording the serial numbers of valuable items and storing that data somewhere safeother than on your laptop.

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WSU PRESENTS

DO YOU HAVE TALENTS THAT YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD?

THEN ENTER THE WSU TALENT QUEST! AN EVENT TO SHOWCASE THE HIDDEN (AND NOT SO HIDDEN) TALENTS OF WAIKATO UNIVERSITY STUDENTS

WEDNESDAY JUNE 1 1-2PM VILLAGE GREEN

CAN YOU SING? DANCE? PLAY MUSIC? TELL JOKES? BALANCE TEN SPOONS ON YOUR NOSE? WE ARE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE KEEN TO GET UP ON STAGE AND SHOW OFF THEIR TALENTS TO ENTERTAIN THE STUDENT BODY FREE CAKE FOR ALL ENTRANTS AND EPIC PRIZES TO BE WON SO ENTER TODAY! EMAIL PRISCILLA@WSU.ORG.NZ TO BE IN TO WIN BOTH INDIVIDUALS AND GROUPS ARE WELCOME TO ENTER.

VP SPEAK Kia ora again everyone! After my mammoth column last week, you’ll be pleased to see that I have a much shorter one for you to digest this time. I’ve even included a pretty table (complete with ticks and crosses!) in the column below for those of you who are graphically inclined.

This week is quite an interesting one for us as students at the University of Waikato, or at least it is if you are like me and are interested in university governance. This is because this week is actually a University Council Meeting week, where the University Council (similar to a Board of Directors in a company) meets and discusses how to best govern the university. Although the agenda for this meeting has not yet been released at the time of printing, the public part of the council meeting will likely discuss standard information such as how well the university is doing financially this year, and a report from our very own Vice-Chancellor on what he has been up to over the past few months.

Exciting stuff! Word on the street is that WSU President Deni Tokunai will even don a tie and trousers for the meeting, so don’t miss out!

WITH CHARLIE

It’s not quite as interesting as watching the Council of Elrond in The Fellowship of the Ring, (sadly, Orlando Bloom is not a member of the University Council) but it is your University so do come along and watch what happens. The Council meets on Wednesday 11 May at 1pm (during Cultural Hour, so you shouldn’t have any class) in the Council Room in B Block – ask at the B Block reception if you have no idea where this is, or email me at vp@wsu.org.nz if you want a guided tour to take you up there.

Charlie Gillard Vice-President Waikato Students’ Union 027 4670276 vp@wsu.org.nz

Interestingly, occurring at the same time as the council meeting is an SGM being held by the Tertiary Education Union (TEU).

The TEU are holding this meeting due to concerns that too much of what happens in the University Council meetings is being discussed in the ‘confidential’ part of the council. TEU considers that this goes against the public’s right to know. If you find this interesting, why not come along to Council on this coming Wednesday and see for yourself how much of the meeting is excluded from the public.

The other exciting meeting happening this week (for those who like meetings) is the WSU Board Meeting, which is set to be held on Thursday 12 May at 5pm in the WSU Club Room (also known as Guru Phabians).

Key items up for discussion include whether to accept the resignation of Holly Neilson from the WSU Board (some of you may have read the Nexus news story about this last week), and what to do if this resignation is accepted. If you are interested in attending the Board meeting, email me at vp@wsu.org. nz and I can send you out the agenda once it is finalized.

BOARD ATTENDANCE For those of you who don’t know, one of my (Charlie) key jobs as Vice-President is to also organise the Board.

As a way of fulfilling this objective, I have a look at the attendance table, which I hope would make any teacher proud. This table tracks each Director’s attendance at the WSU Board Meetings held this year. Remember, WSU Directors are paid an honorarium of $3000 per year for their work as members of this board, of which $500 per year is apportioned directly to attending meetings.

This table is compiled from the official minutes of the WSU, which you as a student have access to: ask at the WSU reception if you want to see a copy of them. This also means that the information is only correct as far as the minutes are correct (though these are verified by the board).

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WSU SERVICE SPOTLIGHT: PICTURE LOG PAST RECIPIENTS OF WSU SPONSORSHIP:

WSU SPONSORSHIP FUND

Are you a student or student group on campus? Do you need funding for a studentrun event, activity, travel or conference?

If so, why not consider applying for sponsorship from the WSU Board Sponsorship Fund?

For those who don’t know, the WSU Board Sponsorship Fund is a fund administered by the WSU Board which (surprise, surprise) provides sponsorship to WSU members. The fund exists as a way of providing for students who need some sponsorship for a studentrelated activity, whether this be running an event on campus (or somewhere else in Hamilton), entering a sporting competition, attending a conference, or something else entirely.

The key criterion regarding application for this fund is that whatever you are applying for has to be related to being a student. Perhaps, for instance, you are a student studying at the University of Waikato who has been selected to represent New Zealand at a university sporting event? Or perhaps you are running an event on campus and targeted at students?

Perhaps your sponsorship application is something related to your studies, such as an application for sponsorship so that you can attend a conference?

For example a group of you may suddenly want to go on a University research trip to Canada or attend a Psychology Conference in Rotorua. Maybe you’re an individual student selected to attend the University Rowing Championships in Poland? These things are all student-related in some way and therefore qualify you to apply to this grant.

Applications can be made by emailing WSU Vice-President Charlie Gillard, who can provide you with a form to fill in – he’ll even help you with the proposal itself if you want some advice. Email vp@wsu.org.nz or ask

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to make an appointment with Charlie at the WSU reception if you are keen to apply. Once received, applications are then discussed at a WSU Board meeting, where the WSU Board makes a decision whether to provide sponsorship for you based on the merit of your application. You can present on your application at the Board meeting if you want.

In fact, we encourage you do so in case the Board has any questions: don’t worry, it isn’t scary! In general the Board prefers not to sponsor whole events / activities / requests, but instead pays for a specific expense of your application: for example, the Board might pay for your accommodation while you are at conference, or might pay for the food at your event, or might pay for your uniforms to attend a sporting competition. In return, we ask for you to provide us with an acquittal report of how your activity went, for us to be able to write about your event in Nexus, and for you to mention WSU in all your promotional activities.

Sponsorship applicants are extremely varied. In the past we’ve sponsored anything from conference attendance to a female handballer’s uniform! This year, for instance, sponsorship applicants have included a group of students organising the Fair Trade Fortnight, a student team wanting to enter the Oxfam relay, a student needing some funding so that she could play in a Beach Volleyball competition, and a student project to run a swimming relay event.

Normally you cannot apply for the sponsorship fund if the activity is connected to a WSU Club you belong to. This is because clubs already have access to the WSU Club Grants which are available to all Clubs affiliated with the WSU. If you are an affiliated-club and are looking for sponsorship, then come and speak to our Clubs Co-ordinator, Dianne Sweeney. You can email her clubs@wsu.org.nz or make an appointment at the WSU reception to

come and visit her. She can tell you all about the clubs grants and other options open for funding.

If you are keen to apply for sponsorship for your student-related event, then email Charlie (WSU Vice-President) vp@wsu.org.nz for the sponsorship fund application form. And if you are a bit worried about not knowing what to write, then don’t stress! If you want some advice on how to best present your sponsorship proposal, Charlie is more than happy to sit down with you and give you a hand.

So get out there! Get active within our vibrant and exciting university communities and let us, the WSU, help you get there. Let’s make Waikato University a more awesome place to be!

Applications this year have included: • ASKEW applied for sponsorship for their President could attend a conference in Wellington • The Computer Science Department applied for sponsorship for a student event: the Global Game Jam • Sife and the Greens applied for sponsorship for the Unicycle event and the Fair Trade Fortnight • Hannah Croad applied for sponsorship to attend the World Volleyball Championships We have also sponsored the CanDo Events Wipe Out challenge, which is happening this Friday: see the poster below for details.

OPEN: 8.30am-4.30pm PHONE: 07 856 9139 WEB: www.wsu.org.nz

ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE?

WSU and CanDo Events are bringing WipeOut to the students of Waikato University!

WipeOut is an obstacle course event where teams of four compete against each other for some wicked prizes, including bar tabs!

Come along for a wicked evening of WipeOut fundraising for Kiwi Can, a FYD programme.

Where: Te Rapa Water World, Garnett Ave, Te Rapa, Hamilton When: Friday 13th May, 4.30pm – 6.30pm How to enter: search on Facebook for WipeOut Old School Edition for entry details – or email us at CanDo@hotmail.co.nz Cost: $40 per team of 4 $1.50 spectators

15

CLUB CORNER: PICTURE LOG

TE RANGA NGAKU

Te Ranga Ngaku

Te Ranga Ngaku (TRN) is a non-profit organisation also known as the Māori Management Student Network within the University of Waikato in Hamilton/Tauranga, in Aotearoa (New Zealand). We exist to provide academic, cultural and social support towards Māori students who at least study one paper from Waikato Management School.

TRN is a strong Māori student body and regularly supports the Management school with formal pōwhiri to welcome new staff and visitors. We are a separate legal entity within the university, but work closely with university staff on many projects which help to support Māori students, including student wānanga in the lead up to exams. TRN also meets regularly with the Dean, raising issues on behalf of tauira Māori. TRN has a national reputation as being the most active Māori student network in commerce and business, looking after our Māori tauira from study within the WMS to corporate Aotearoa and beyond.

TRN is run by an elected board of students known as the executive. Every year the executive team of TRN will host, organise and participate in a number of events for our tauira Māori. These events include the yearly Haerenga trip (visiting businesses within NZ to network with, learn from and provide opportunities for the future), Kaitahi (whanau feed and info session), Hakinakina (Māori sports day), Po Whakangahau (whanau celebrate the end of the year before exams) and much more!!! TRN meets regularly over kai during Cultural Hour on Wednesdays 1pm-2pm in ELT: email us to find out when our next meeting is.

If you are a Māori student studying in Waikato Management School or doing at least one paper within Waikato Management School then join today and we will get back to you and ensure you are registered!! Make sure you are a part of the rōpu – come and have a kōrero, meet the whānau, have a nohi, and see what you can be a part of this year and how TRN can help you.

We are all here to make sure that we succeed academically, build our connections with the corporate world for mahi when we finish, and most of all, have an awesome time while we do it! If you’re keen to learn more, then send us an email at terangangaku@gmail.com or come and see us in the Management Student Centre (MSC), or add us on Facebook, search for: Te Ranga Ngaku Incorporated.

BIOSOC LAB COAT PARTY! Uni work getting you down? Take a break!

Your friendly Biological Society is hosting a LAB COAT PARTY for all UoW students at Bar101.

Why? Coz we care and coz we can.

Team building games will take place on the night and prizes will be given out for the most creative costumes.

Don’t have a lab coat? Get creative and make one out of a sheet, or wear a white jacket and some nerdy glasses...first 50 through the door in theme get a free drink!

Usual $4 Thursday night drink deals!

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Come chill to the sounds of FreeBeerDJs or burn up the D-floor in your lab coat!

The BioSoc aims to enhance communication and inspiration within and beyond Biology here at uni, so what better way to meet other science students and share the Biology love (we thought we should invite the rest of the students so your friends/flatmates etc. don’t miss out on the fun!)

Any questions email carley.sheerin@gmail.com

17

Lettuce Write to Win! SEND LETTERS TO: Send your letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

WEEKLY PRIZE: This week there is a prize! Brett from UniMart is kindly offering a $20 voucher to the writter of our letter of the week. Come to the Nexus office in the Student Union Building to collect your prize!

LETTERS POLICY: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication. We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Word count is limited to 250 words and we will enforce this as we please.

We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be). Send letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

Partisan Puzzles?

Dear Nexus Right, so I normally find the lame and unoriginal stuff that Daniel Farrell puts as ‘The Words’ in the Puzzle Page’s word find at least slightly amusing. I don’t mind the not-so-subtle hints to listen to Contact FM (even though I won’t).

Stuff like ‘Herp Derp’, yea, that’s mildly funny.

But what is not so funny is the last ‘word’ in this week’s entry: “Vote for Don Brash”. Knowing that Daniel is a former ACT supporter, I’m disturbed by the fact this is in there. I worry that, having seen the light oh-so momentarily, he’s turning back to the Dark Side. I also object to the fact, since Nexus gets its funding to print this from the WSU, that I’m indirectly contributing to this not-so-subtle political advertising. So unless Daniel plans on being totally equal, and next week’s word find is going to include “Vote for the Mana Party” (lol, as if), then can we not have this kinda stuff in our hallowed Nexus?

K thx, Not-so-amused-this-time.

Come pick up your $20 UniMart voucher at the Nexus office in the WSU Building.

Nexus Smut Dear Nexus I can’t help but notice that it’s been a while since i saw i bit of cheeky tit, dong or muff in the pages of your fine publication. As a student magazine with the freedom to more or less print whatever you choose, I more or less consider it your duty to push the boundries of print media (and taste). Why then, do you continune to allow students of this campus to maintain the outdated notion that we should hide our beautiful bodies? The time has come to crush conservative shame and guilt with a sexy wave!

The Nudist

Osama still alive, hiding with Elvis.

Osama - Dead or not?

So obviously after yesterday’s news that the Americans had finally achieved what we thought was impossible I’m starting to wonder whether he is really dead or not?

You would think there would be some gloating on their behalf. After all, he caused America so much trouble. So now I ask this, why did they get rid of his body so quickly? Why would there not be pictures to inflate every Americans ego?

The guy was Americas most wanted terrorist.

They wanted him for Murder of U.S. Nationals outside the United States; Conspiracy to Murder U.S. Nationals outside the United States; Attack on a Federal Facility Resulting in Death. They were offering up to $25 million for his capture.

So is the dude that shot him a rich man?

There seems to be a lot of vague details being presented. So now I pose you with one last question. Is Osama really dead, or is Obama trying to stick to the promises he made about ending the war of terror. Is America telling the truth or are we falling prey to another lie by the American government spread by the media?

You decide.

Charlotte

More, or less pointless than whining about lack of carparks?

Dear Smokers Please exercise some self control and refrain from divulging your disgusting habits while in the vicinity of others.

From asthmatics who have enough trouble breathing as it is.

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A

$20 VOUCHER FROM UNIMART

CONVENIENCE STORE HERE ON CAMPUS

FOOD, DRINKS, SNACKS AND DAILY ESSENTIALS ALL IN ONE FRIENDLY LOCATION 18

I have a slight suspicion that Computers Want Me Dead, isn’t a very apt name for a pair of chart topping Auckland producers. It seems that Sam Harvey and Damien Daniels are actually having an affair with the said computers ... and while this somewhat interesting romantic electronic arrangement may be doomed long term - for now it has produced a hell of a lot of good tunes.

Computers Want Me Dead have released, just in time for music New Zealand music month, their self titled debut EP. Described as a sparkling and noisy dream where synths, drum machines and electronic sounds weave amongst each other on the verge of some wondrous binary induced chaos the album includes Letters and Numbers, In Your Blood and Circles.

However, Computers album wasn’t always planned to be so commercial, Sam says. “I’ve always been into industrial stuff like Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor is a massive inspiration to me. So we started out a lot harder and a lot grittier.”

Band mate and co-producer Damien’s agreed, “I first heard The Prodigy when I was 13 or 14 and there was something amazing

Damien sums it up well, “We are shamelessly doing what we want.”

Inspired by 80s Madonna and Michael Jackson, the success of Circles cemented Computers as an accessible and intriguing favourite to many Kiwis, and the band have continued their quest for domination by ranking high on the official NZ singles charts and topping the iTunes and Digirama charts.

But has this more commercial approach and success guaranteed fame and fortune?

“Not yet” says Sam, “If you look at all our music videos you’ll see that we are pretty obscured or in the background. We haven’t made the effort to get our faces out there. We have a lot of people coming up to us when we get off stage and saying things to us like ‘your music is what my girlfriend and I fell in love with’ or ‘your music helped us get back together’ which is really nice.”

about it. I got into industrial rock after my cousin’s house burnt down - he used his insurance payment to buy a whole heap of Nine Inch Nails albums and he invited me round to listen to them.”

The chart topping success of We Walk In Circles gain the Auckland lads worldwide attention and they are currently planning a worldwide tour after the release of their first full length album.

So with those sorts of influences you’d think Computers would be making music with chainsaws violating synths coupled with samples of Marilyn Manson reading the Koran played in reverse.

However, the duo decided to take a different, happier, path.

“We are heading to Australia, Europe, UK, and even Japan at the end of the year. Oh and we’ve been booked for gigs in Germany.

That Germany gig could be a little weird though, we we’re asked to play at a fetish bar under a swimming pool. We actually thought they were taking the piss but it turns out they weren’t joking.”

“Our first single ‘We Walk In Circles’ started off really industrial and grimey but we ended up having to much fun and it seemed to fit,” Damien said.

Sam said the songs also worked as somewhat of a “rebellion”, “Basically we are rebelling against what was happening in our circle of friends. Rebelling against the dark and the pain of the goth and industrial music.”

Maybe it’s not the Computers that Sam and Damien should be wary of.

- Computers Want Me Dead have wowed audiences at the likes of Rhythm & Vines, Our House, The Big Day Out and as the support act for American heavyweights 30 Seconds To Mars. They will be in Hamilton on Saturday to play a live set as part of Our:House Neon Raves.

19

More Than Scratching The Surface:

All About Hamilton Anita Burton

s

Oxford dictionary describes a DJ (disc jockey) thus; Noun A person who introduces and plays recorded music, especially on radio or at a club Just a tad dry for my tastes, I’ve always preferred a wee quote from Armin Van Buuren (if you don’t know who this is I suggest your sort your sh*t out)

“

It’s not love for music, it’s a passion, and it goes beyond liking and beyond a hobby, it’s about a way of living... Music is essential for my life.

Hamilton has experienced a huge growth in the dance music scene in the last couple of years – driven by local Hamilton heroes. When given the task of writing this article, I realised just how many there are, and without a doubt while I’m finishing this paragraph some kid in a Hamilton East bedroom will be practicing his or her mixing on a set of decks that have been through five generations of DJ’s already, thinking of a catchy stage name and dreaming of playing at Soundscape. We can loosely pop our local DJ’s into ‘general’ genre categories, although if you have seen these cheeky monkey’s play you’ll know most of them play multi-genre, and every sub-genre under the sun as well. Hopefully I can enlighten you on a bit of background about the local dance scene, and tell you a bit about what’s happening now and in the future Let’s do it in alphabetical order so that I don’t sound biased, how boring, I love being biased usually.

Dubstep / Drum and Bass Once upon a time in Hamilton a bunch of like-minded Hamilton guys got together to form ‘The Collective’, they played music which hadn’t really been heard in Hamilton clubs and it was the start of something glorious. Nowadays they are known as ‘Hamilton City DnB & Dubstep’: Hybrid(a.k.a.

Confuse), Breadman, Kaon and Selecta Cam. Hybrid, having experimented with all kinds of music and coming from a metal background, found a love of DnB back in 2003, and in 2007 Hybrid found himself buying a set of turntables and “hasn’t looked back”. Having played with some of the biggest names in 20

NZ and running successful gigs in the Hamilton scene, Hybrid is a skilful DJ, mostly sticking with ‘the deeper, rolling tech sound’ of DnB, though admitting he does have a “soft spot for the harder stuff every now and then”. The future’s wide open for Hybrid, saying that “it’s great to be able to share something I’m so passionate about with others & see them get a kick out of it”; great attitude for a guy who has achieved and mastered as much as he has.

Breadman, despite the name, does not dress like a loaf of vogels; usually to be found in a jeans and tee shirt I believe. Finding a love of dubstep at outdoor

events like Phat, he found himself wanting to create the same effect in a club, but he has a little warning for ya’ll: “these pastries don’t like cheese so you won’t hear me playing Flux Pavillion or Skrillex”. We wouldn’t expect anything less from ya Breadman! As for future plans – exploration of a bit more drum and bass and some of the ‘uplifting future garage sound’ coming out of the woodwork, however confesses that the more dark and mysterious side of dubstep is where his heart lies. Breadman’s goal is to keep playing, and perhaps to make a mark on those big outdoor events, where his passion took off.

If you’re wondering where the name ‘Kaon’ comes from, which I did because I have never done a physics class. A kaon is any one of a group of four mesons distinguished by the fact that they carry a quantum number called strangeness. Still don’t get it? Me either. For me Kaon is this really sweet DJ is HCity. He plays Glitch hop/Acid crunk/Hyperdub, which ain’t strictly drum and bass or dubstep but hey, gotta have a category right? Kaon has been producing his own sounds for over a year now. look out for an E.P. release in the near future.

Selecta Cam is homegrown Hamilton talent, and despite having recently moved to the mighty smoke of Auckland, he still has strong ties in his home city.

Katchafire remixes to releases in London, Vegas, and Florida. One of Hamilton’s most accomplished artists, HSD is now moving forward under the name Marc:one.

Now that Marc:one has got his 15 in the article, might be time to whip out some info about Vhari. A self professed lover of Panda’s and Peacock’s (I think she just likes the alliteration), Vhari has played DnB for more than ten years, being a Libra, she doesn’t like change, and why would you want to change from drum and bass anyway (oops, my biased nature slipping in). Being the only female in this entire article she deserves some major props, with her first single release due out later this year on Force Recordings with Marc:one.

Coming through with fresh faces and whipping out some serious trash and dubstep bangers are the likes of Staylo and Willapede, who also spin tunes together under the guise of ‘Reservoir Dogs’. For two young guys they have developed a formidable presence behind the decks and their showmanship has earned them early props.

You can’t really mention DnB in Hamilton without thinking of HSD. As High Speed Dubbing, Marc Tetzlaff has been a producer, promoter and DJ for over 10 years. HSD has played all over the North Island as well as in Europe, his tunes ranging from

Electro / House I feel old saying this next bit but when I started clubbing it was all about Liquid Lounge, The Loft, Sekure, and Monkey Feather. These are the clubs in which I discovered dance music, and despite the fact that some of these names have become a little forgotten, the DJ’s that pioneered the way in Hamilton have not – in fact, they are as strong as ever.

Ric Rush, A.K.A. ‘the Godfather’ of the Hamilton electronic music scene, is also possibly one of the nicest, most humble people

you will ever meet. We could put Ric in the Hip Hop category too actually; he fell in love with all styles of music and got his first set of turnies in 1990, playing mostly hip hop, funk and disco, progressing to house around 1998. An incredible DJ, as well as a talented scratch artist, this guy is a pleasure to watch, one of the only DJ’s I have ever seen who continually progress’ every track he plays and makes it better.

Dan Bisley and Sean ‘Soulfoundation’ Murray are two other names who spring to mind when we are talking about pioneers. Dan still lives here and plays a few gigs in 21

Hamilton, and while Sean has taken the well worn road to Auckland, his mark on the Hamilton DJ scene lives on in DJ’s like Bevan Nichols and Willie G, who you can find hanging out playing house tunes at cocktail bar Nitro and at Momento on the Village green every Friday at lunchtime.

Kyle Gibson possibly tie’s with Ric Rush for the nicest DJ in Hamilton. Kyle has been into dance music since high school, and got into the Hamilton dance scene after that. He will tell you fantastic stories about when Flow bar used to be called Club Lovely and played Psy-Trance; or when the pizza restaurant Barzurk would host raves after hours. He started buying stacks of vinyl and eventually picked up some turntables while he was in London. Starting out with Hard dance, he progressed to House music and started playing big house parties, and when I say big, I mean two hundred people, in a house. Ridiculous.

Word spread of Kyle’s talent and hey presto. Kyle now back in the land of the long white cloud, focusing on Tech and Progressive House, and wants to get into live production with all the latest gadgets.

How about the electro you say? Well, we should start with a couple of fellows who make up Tronik DJ’s, who got into it initially due to being mutually “sick of listening to shit top 40 music in clubs”.

They admired the likes of Ric, Dan, and Sean, and wanted to do something a little heavier, being into electro and indie, it was all pretty natural; they have since expanded their musical tastes and now play pretty much anything. Currently they are probably our fair city’s most bookable DJ’s, having played supporting internationals like Deadmau5, they also run JAG promotions, produce, and are the masterminds behind Hamilton’s largest dance party to date, Soundscape. I can’t see Tronik DJ’s slowing down any time soon, with more plans to put on bigger and better gigs and also to start DJing dubstep under a different stage name; the next couple of years will see loads of new challenges.

Tommy Gee is a Hamilton born and bred Electro and Breakbeat DJ, and having done a stint in the Mount, he’s come back to the HCity bosom.

Getting into DJing after a nasty wrist injury which prevented his break dancing 22

career and having been influenced by music in that scene, Tommy is now the official Jagermeister DJ and plays all over NZ. As for future plans, “Rock D Floors” seems to be the main aim; couldn’t have said it better myself.

Piece seems to be the hot new ticket on the house/electro scene; although he too plays a bit of everything now. Technically a great DJ and with a keen ability to read a crowd, he’s already supported internationals like Borgore and Bellatrax and is “gathering an army of instruments” in order to start producing. Ollie-G will be well known and loved by Monkey Feather goers, as electro playing resident with DJ Delay most weekend nights.

Ollie, having found a love for music early and buzzed off a natural ability to mix, has ambitions to produce and play overseas. Chris ‘Bones’ Taucher, Agenda resident and regular fixture at every major gig in Hamilton, who started out a mobile DJ, playing school balls and the like, now offers crowds everything from electro to dubstep to commercial. If I was a betting kind of girl, a couple of other names to keep on the lookout for are Damo T, Hyperkaine, and Free Beer DJ’s.

Hamilton boasts an exceptional Hip Hop scene, yet you will have to forgive me, it’s something that before I started writing this, I knew hardly anything about.

Hip Hop So I hope I get this right. 4 Corners formed in 1997 and have become the backbone of a strong scene which has just continued to grow. 4 Corner’s 2005 album ‘The Foundations’ was nominated for best Hip Hop album in Australasia, and two singles off the album entering the NZ Top 40. The group continues to be a dominant force in Hamilton and have been signed to the MTC label.

DJ SMV is often referred to as the Mix-tape King of the NZ Underground and known for his signature street style and

exclusive music with rappers through out NZ, as well as co-hosting the Ill-R-X Hip Hop show on Contact FM and being named in the top 5 Hip Hop DJ’s in NZ. SMV has produced mix-tapes for some major names including Young Sid and Tyson Tyler, as well as touring with heavy weights like DJ Sir-Vere and Katchafire. He now works extensively with DJ Impact, another Hamilton legend, voted two time national battle champion.

One of Hamilton’s biggest Hip Hop exports is Taktix, now residing in Auckland but still playing regularly in the Hamilton scene – and we’ll talk about him anyway. Taktix found a path to DJing through the music that was associated with break dancing. His brother gave him is first set of turntables and he was off. He’s toured with the likes of Smashproof and Young Sid and now has a record label in the works as well as plans to tour overseas.

Diaz Grimm is an up and comer on the Hip Hop scene. Taking a strong fancy to music early, he grew up listening to rap and hip hop, although he was lead “astray” by other genres of dance music when he first started DJing, Diaz has come back to his roots after realising “nothing will ever truly satisfy” him like Hip Hop does. Learning to scratch is one of his next major ambitions.

You can catch most of these lovely creatures playing any given weekend at a gig near you, but if you can’t be bothered checking your Facebook events page, here’s some things to check out:

Soundscape Medicate F*ck Yeah JAG Promotions Pinch and a Punch The HTown Wiki Gravatee Manatee Fevah FM Contact FM Hamilton City Drum-Bass and Dubstep

Hard Dance / Hard House And just when we all thought Hard Dance was a minority genre in Hamilton, along came the Fevah Hard Dance room at Soundscape and apparently … well, you were there weren’t you? It was epic.

Monkey’s been around for a long time, for those of you who don’t remember it used to be up a precarious set of stairs on Alexandra Street and was run by NZ DJ legend Mikee.

It had, and still has, a loyal group of mainly old school hard house and hard trance followers. Lance Climo, hard trance enthusiast and vinyl maestro is now in charge of the bar, and while it has opened up to all different genres, predominantly electro and breaks, it’s still the home of hard dance in Hamilton.

Supported by the likes of FuzzyLogic and Mach1, the Hard House scene in Hamilton has seen more changes than an emo’s hair-do but I reckon after the show of love at Soundscape, we’re in for some magic to come.

Hamilton’s long time ambassador of hard dance has been Mandy SuessRyan, owner of Fevah FM, Hamilton’s only 100% dance music station, and a die-hard fan and follower of hard dance. While she doesn’t DJ anymore (apart from in private), she’s the go to girl in the scene, and has spotted a talent in Ryan Matthews, Hamilton’s big up and comer in the genre. Getting into it after a love of all dance music and with a special passion for 150 bpm, Ryan’s recently played in support of Lucy Fur in Auckland and is a staple at any hard dance event in Hamilton. Looks like a very bright future for Ryan with production plans in the works and support bookings for internationals like Steve Hill.

I probably haven’t done the Hamilton dance scene justice and there’s probably hundreds more DJ’s that coulda/shoulda/woulda been mentioned, but here’s the main message I have to convey: Hamilton’s DJ’s are awesome, they play and promote awesome gigs and they are lovely people. So go to their events, ‘like’ their Facebook pages, take time to listen to their tunes and mixes, check out their radio shows, and generally give them love – because in the words of Derrick Carter (Google him), ‘It’s pretty damn hard to get a thousand people together and make them all happy.’

23

The Future of Student Radio in Hamilton

By Max Christoffersen

Let’s cut to the chase.

Contact 89FM has been gone from this campus since 1997.

Students reading this today have no experience, no memory and no history with the station that started student based FM radio in Hamilton in 1986. When Contact-FM died following the introduction of voluntary student union membership in ‘97, a large part of student life and student culture went with it.

capability, management structures, governance and perhaps most important of all the understanding of the traditions of student radio culture and apply them to the new Contact 89FM post 2011..

The local student heroes who have kept the Contact-FM name alive through low power FM radio should be applauded for their commitment to the brand and to the spirit of student based broadcasting. But today the original 89FM frequency is sitting waiting for one of several local contenders to take ownership as the frequency comes up for renewal for the first time since 1985.

Launch a Diploma in Digital Media Communications comprising broadcasting, on-line print media and web based communications.

This Diploma based qualification would be an applied qualification requiring hands-on study across all 3 digital platforms including broadcast, print and on-line web based communications. Students would gain experience in media and be equipped with entry level skills and understanding of future communication platforms from broadcast to on-line broadsheet.

From a distance it feels like neither tertiary campus is well equipped to understand student radio traditions or the ability to engage students in the development of student based culture or student centred broadcasting.

So where to next? Here’s what I would do.

The home of it all would be at Contact 89FM at the University of Waikato campus.

As we look towards the student radio future, the demands of the student audience are vastly more sophisticated than they were in

To win the confidence of the Ministry for Culture and Heritage (that will allocate the new FM Licence) requires bold thinking,

the 1980/90s. The glory days of student radio are long gone with music fans able to access music across a range of different delivery mediums, faster easier and with less clutter than student radio can now deliver.

creative academic enterprise and the resources to put the Diploma programme to air, to print and to on-line outlets with academic credibility.

But to suggest that student radio’s sole function is to play music is disingenuous. What remains as true today as it did at the start of FM student broadcasting in the 1980s is the need to communicate to the wider community about student life.

Student broadcasting when done well is one of the most potent ‘town and gown’ mediums available. Student radio should act as a nerve centre for the delivery of student based services ranging from job notice boards and flat vacancies to on-campus events and student centered news.

The challenge for this campus and for the student community in general is to demonstrate the infrastructure including technical 24

The future for student media is to reflect the convergence of different and formerly competing media outlets. The future isn’t revisiting alternative music - it is about providing a broadcast platform with a far wider scope than the original vision while recognising the music roots of its beginnings.

If the 89FM frequency is going to return to The University of Waikato campus then time is short. And if the vision painted here was to be put in place, I can at last claim my work with Contact-FM is complete.

Contact 89FM takes its rightful place as the home of student radio in Hamilton where students share their love of music and student life and gain a qualification while broadcasting across the Waikato.

25

DANIEL FARRELL COMMEMORATIVE

Puzzle Page

Brought to you by Mighty Strong Friends of Nexus; Event Cinemas and Frozen Coke Smugglers

By request, this week’s puzzles are relating to Fair Trade. That’s because it’s Fair Trade Fortnight, and I know people who are into that sort of thing, so said I would make that the puzzle theme this week. It was supposed to be avoiding study, but hey, social issues are just as important. If you want to suggest a theme for the puzzle page, I may be willing, for a fee of 15 hugs, to put that in for you. Fire them away to dcf5@waikato.ac.nz. Do eht. Now, go get some Fair Trade Coffee and do these puzzles. Oh and no Sudoku this week. Not really Fair Trade related... Wordfind and quiz!

THE BIG BAD wordFIND the wORDS BETTER PRICES FREEDOM SOCIAL JUSTICE SUSTAINABILITY TRADE JUSTICE WORKING CONDITIONS

WHAT TO DO The Furious Puzzle Page

(seriously, it’s pretty darn cross) Brought to you by the strong mind of Event Cinemas, in both Chartwell and Centreplace flavours! Mmmmm, delicious frozen coke!

Be warned, this is the most difficult puzzle page ever!

QUIZ TIME: All the answers to these questions can be found on www.fta.org.au. And because of that clue, you gotta get the words exactly right, Q. Fill the gaps. Fairtrade is about ______ prices, _______ working conditions, ______ sustainability, and ____ terms of trade A. Q. Conventional trade traditionally discriminates against who?

A. Q. Fair trade helps those traditionally discriminated against to do what?

A.

26

COMICS GALORE RL - BY TOM BEISLY AND DANIEL KEEGAN

Fancy yourself as an artist? Got some sweet comics you want to share? Let us know! Contact us at nexus@waikato.ac.nz

28

NEXUS. FOOD. LOVE. WITH DEE I’ve always figured that different seasons promote different ways of eating, and different types of food. Winter foods are things like stews, soups and crockpot meals. Spring foods include a lot of vegetables, and a lot of fresh foods.

Summer is about sharing food with other people, eating outdoors, BBQs and a lot more salads. And then there are autumn foods.

I really enjoy autumn food. Autumn food is a lot harder to identify. Autumn starts warm and ends cold. The weather changes during the day frequently and sporadically. Autumn foods should be

quick, easy, and filling, with foods like stir-frys, pasta meals and desserts with apples or feijoas.

There are so many easy pasta-based meals out there, like spaghetti bolognaise, macaroni cheese, or lasagne. Cook some mince in a tomato pasta sauce, add a little bit of whatever herbs or spices you like, and serve it hot over pasta. Or change the tomato pasta sauce for a cheese sauce.

It’s as easy as that. As nice as it is to do it from scratch with only fresh organic ingredients, it isn’t so easy and a lot of the time the tins or bottles of pasta sauce you buy at the supermarket are just as good.

Then we have stir-fry’s. Some people have ideas as to what particular kinds of meat or vegetables can go in stir-fry’s, or whether you should add rice or noodles in, but really, I say go for gold. You will never know if it’s going to work if you don’t try it. With a stir-fry, you can really play it up. You never know what will work for you (and what won’t) if you don’t try it. Here is one quick recipe that I pulled out the other day. The sauce recipe is one that I normally work to, and will make a few changes here and there depending on what vegetables I’m using.

QUICK STIR-FRY: Ingredients: 500 grams of dried egg noodles 500 grams of beef 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil or olive oil Stir-fry sauce (read on for a recipe!)

500 grams (or more) of vegetables - this time of year I normally use frozen 1. Cook the noodles according to the packet instructions. Drain them, and set them aside till you are finished.

2. Chop the beef into small, bite sized pieces. Heat the oil in a large frying pan, and then cook the beef until it’s browned.

3. Add your stir-fry sauce and stir till it coats the meat. Add your vegetables on top, turn down the heat a little and cover the frying pan. Give the meat and vegetables a stir every couple of minutes until they’re heated through. By covering the pan it will retain some steam, which will help cook the veges faster 4. Take the pan off the heat and add your (still warm) noodles. Stir through so everything gets coated with the sauce, and serve while it is still hot.

Stir-fry Sauce – If you want, you can buy reasonable stir-fry sauces from the supermarket. But one of the fun things about stir-fry is that it doesn’t need to be planned very well. So if you are caught out at home without sauce, try improvising with the following.

In a bowl, mix together: • ½ cup of sweet chilli sauce • 2 tablespoons of soy sauce • 1 teaspoon of oyster sauce • 1 tablespoon of honey • Half a clove of garlic • ½ teaspoon of ginger • ½ teaspoon of chilli powder • ½ teaspoon of mixed herbs • A pinch of salt and pepper Leave this concoction to sit for a few minutes before using - need to give the flavours a chance to mix properly. Try adding in some of your own favourites, and feel free to change up the amounts of anything in this recipe. Sometimes instead of sweet chilli sauce I use a mix of tomato sauce and BBQ sauce, and add a little mustard instead of the oyster sauce. With this recipe, experimenting is the most fun part.

29

CAFES: LIKE A BOSS

WITH MRS MATTHEWS

WORDS OF WISDOM

WITH MR MINTY FISH

Metropolis Café, 211 Victoria St, Hamilton.

There is a fine line between a conspiracy theory and an I’m-fuckingcrazy-and-think-this-is-real theory but here’s the deal. Osama Bin laden is not dead. Boom. Bang. Science.

So I hear this week is the beginning of fair-trade fortnight, as a lover of all things fair-trade I was going to do a review based on that, but I’m sick and I can’t be bothered. So, more on that next week! I’ve been to Metropolis several times for dinner, and on this occasion the husband thought he would be nice and take me to out.

I’m not proposing he’s living on some island with MJ, Tupac and Elvis; mainly because even on a fake island for dead people they probably would have called the police and had his ass dragged to the B grade section. You know. The one Brittany Murphy went to; but in all honesty, what are the chances of the world’s biggest wedding, the world’s biggest press conference being in one week? Balls. Didn’t happen.

I ordered a half serve of the Green Thai Chicken Curry and the husband ordered the Peanut Crusted Fish with minted mushy peas and a half serve of fries. Two things, firstly I love that Metropolis let you do half serves of just about anything, secondly, the fish used to come with smoked paprika aioli, which was yum, and now it comes with a dollop of mushy peas, which is yuck, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why they changed it. The Thai curry was good as usual, the chicken is perfectly cooked and the curry has just the right amount of bite. The fish came on a wee bed of salad and the husband says it’s good, although a bit on the small side, hence the sneaky side order of fries.

For dessert I get an iced mocha, and the husband a short black, I also get a piece of banoffie pie to take home, because I can’t fit it in. The iced mochas are good, they may not be amazing, but they have ice cream in them and at $4.50 are cheaper than most other places. The short black is pronounced average; I’ve never thought Metropolis were amazing at coffee, which is why I get mine with ice cream and sugar. I pick at the banoffie later, it’s pretty good, but super sweet and I finish the rest for breakfast the next day. Mmm banana, caramel and cream, breakfast of champions.... or something like that.

The decor has a grungy thing going on, with corrugated iron, exposed concrete and twisted metal, I kind of like it. They have a black and white checkered floor up front, which apparently is historical and has some interesting story behind it that I am yet to find out. The staff are pretty good, sometimes you’re left wondering if they’re new, but mostly they are fairly attentive. At around $50 for a couple of courses and drinks, I think we’ll keep coming here.

Conclusion: America felt left out that the UK was getting more attention so they turned to what they know best; black guys and terrorism. So where is Osama you may ask? I reckon the US cut him a deal. Put carpet down in his cave, gave him some curtains, a sweet healthcare plan. Sorted. And all on the condition that he stops trying to blow up their shit. He won’t though. Sneaky Osama.

This does beg the question; if even the Houdini of our times can be captured and killed, can you ever actually hide from America? Should you for some reason need to hide from Obama and his Bro-bama’s, (see what I did there? You liked it didn’t you. I’ll be here all week) then where, who and how can it be done?

1) WHERE: New Zealand. Hide in New Zealand. We are so set here, it’s ridiculous. Not only do they not know where we are, if they did, could they be bothered looking? Is a threat that lives in New Zealand a real threat? Hitler left us alone. North Korea doesn’t give a fuck.

Basically, if those who hate everyone and everything don’t mind us, then our public image must be quite glowing.

2) WHO: I think Osama’s first mistake was being a terrorist. Basically when hiding from America, you want to make sure it’s more because you owe them $50 from the other night as opposed to because they think you want to rain Jihad on their country.

3) HOW: Just don’t be a dick. If you’re hiding from America don’t try and hack their CIA base. Don’t enter idol. Don’t smush Pauly. Don’t sell “How I hid from America” to a magazine. Just kick back. Have a beer. It’s all good.

On an entirely unrelated note, did you know that there is an oyster that can climb trees in the Caribbean? I feel like I need a mind condom.

30

UNICYCLE!

WITH GREENS ON CAMPUS & SIFE

I think we all know that, thanks to UniCycle, recycling bins are now available at several convenient locations around campus for your eco-friendly pleasure. These bins are just waiting to gobble up your empty fizzy bottle, or the newspaper you nicked from Momento, and regurgitate upon you a wealth of good karma. But what we really wanted to know was: Are people really recycling at Waikato University? In the last week before recess, I decided to put on my Sherlock Holmes hat and bust this case wide open.

Enter Operation Coke Can (dun dun...)

POST-RAD

WITH BLAIR MUNRO

So, at the time of writing, Osama bin Laden is dead. Now, I would like to make it known that we are just moving out of the period during which resurrections are reported to happen, so if he’s alive and kicking when you read that, colour me prescient.

It could be the fact that I’m far removed from where the whole War on Terror went down, but the fact that a criminal mastermind to rival Ernst Blofeld was on the loose for a decade never seemed to trouble me. Everyone’s favourite Arabic Carmen Sandiego spent ten years evading capture, but now what?

Full of excitement, caffeine, and slight sense of guilt that my procrastinating was getting out of hand, I headed towards the recycling bins by the village green. Mission Impossible music pounding in my ears; I made my move, kneeling down in front of the bins to “tie my shoelaces”. During this textbook manoeuvre, I also placed an empty Coke can on the ground beside me. Satisfied with my work, I made my retreat (minus Coke can), to observe from a distance.

Now to play the waiting game. Feeling a wee bit awkward leaning against The National Bank by myself staring at bins, I used another textbook manoeuvre and pulled out my phone so I could pretend to text. Sneaking cheeky glances between my phone and the bin I counted half a dozen people recycling things of their own, but no one seemed to care about my poor can. I was starting to worry. But finally, there was a development. Just as I was getting ready to abandon

Apart from the requisite patriotism, parades, and public screenings of Team America: World Police, what happens now?

mission, a short brunette girl broke away from her group of friends to toss her water bottle, noticing my can in the process. Success! She picked up my can and put it in the right bin, graciously representing the student masses in the process.

there was a lot you could have gotten away with behind an anti-terror veil. That veil is now gone. Revenge has been served, if not justice, and ignoring the latent xenophobia and bigotry, the War on Terror is not something that can be hid behind any longer.

Results: All in all, I discovered people are using the recycling bins, especially for their own waste; although recycling rubbish off the ground is a little too far out of most people’s comfort zones. I also discovered that I will do anything to get out of writing assignments on a Wednesday afternoon.

You see, it’s not just that motives for action are now going to be forced to come to light. It’s that something that essentially united a country (the United States being nothing more than a name at that point) has now been resolved. The movie is over, the lights are back on, and the characters we bonded with have told their story. As the patrons shuffle back onto the dimly-lit streets, hearts glowing with a happy conclusion, is America becoming an aimless arrow?

Alright kids, hope you’re getting back into the swing of things, keep it classy and remember... don’t be trashy – Recycle!

See the related Recycling Flashmob video at www.facebook.com/ UniCycle.Waikato and feel free to email us at unicycle.waikato@gmail. com

Pause to consider that Batman never killed the Joker. Superman never killed Lex Luthor. I never stabbed my sixth form accounting teacher.

I might have wanted to, but I never did. It’s the point of a nemesis.

Every great power needs some struggle; otherwise they lose the reason to keep doing whatever it is that they do. Ten years was spent looking for justice in every nook and cranny in the Middle East, and now that it’s been found, I feel a sense of unease.

I’m not sure how many of you have seen the episode of Family Guy where Lois runs for mayor of Quahog on a campaign based on shouting “Nine Eleven” to a crowd, but thinking about it right now,

People can whoop and cheer, but a gun that big is just begging to be fired at something.

And they wonder why I can’t sleep at night.

31

FASHIONISTAS!

WITH LADY HAYNS

DIARY OF A RAVER

WITH THE GIRL WHO GOES OUT LOTS

Hey everyone! This week I decided to write you something a little different from the usual, hopefully you have listened to my advice and are currently wearing a new and improved outfit devoid of leggings, see through tops and unattractive gym clothes…

As I do something unusual and spend my evening watching a marathon of season one of Gossip Girl, I realise what was once only limited to American teenage dramas, the social clique, is slowly starting to emerge and take hold of the Hamilton nightlife.

I spent Saturday the 30th of April volunteering my very capable self at the Quake Appearance fashion show. The show was set up to raise money for the Red Cross Christchurch Earthquake Appeal (all proceeds went to Christchurch!) and was hosted by Cleo’s bachelor of the year (yum!) accompanied by one of our very own Waikato cheerleaders.

Social cliques or groups, exclude those who do not fit into their stereotypical view of perfection and negatively label others that are different. These are the types of groups that you see on movies or TV and include: the preps, the goths, the emos, the punks, the jocks and so on and so forth.

The show was sponsored by Montana Catering, Hamilton City Council, The Edge, Ktizo and Zebra Design and Print.

Now onto my favourite bit: the designers and their clothes. With collections from Annah Stretton, Sera Lilly, Ooby Ryn, Augustine International, NYNE , Sarah Horton, Madame Hawke, Ruby Boutique, Shop 9 and shoes from Overland Footwear it was like being a little kid in a candy shop! A candy shop that you can’t afford, but still desire nonetheless!

An event like this takes a huge amount of time and dedication to organise and pull off and really needs the right type of person (thrives on stress) to do the job. I think the girls who organised it did a wonderful job and I was thrilled to help them out!

A peek behind the scenes…

One of the most exciting things about helping out at an event is the sense of relief/achievement/pride you feel when you pull it all off, and fashion is no different. There’s a huge difference from what you see out on the runway compared to what’s actually going on backstage.

The runway looks calm, collected and organised but backstage is a whirlwind of clothes, shoes, models and people frantically trying to dress the models in time for the show. Not to mention the army of hair and make-up people constantly touching up the models.

It’s no easy feat remembering which models are wearing what and which order they’re going out on the runway in, especially when you have 3 under your care! In saying that, I had the best time working and am so glad I had the chance to see first-hand how a fashion show runs.

Hamilton is no longer the open and welcoming place it once was described by others from out of town. The social clique or ‘scene’ that was prominently Auckland based here in New Zealand, has now spread and infected the Hamilton nightlife. A friend of mine who recently moved here from the South Island pointed out that this clique scene “makes it difficult when you are new to Hamilton and wanting to make friends, as everyone is closed minded or stuck in their group mentality.”

Here in Hamilton, the cliques we have aren’t quite the same as your typical American cliques. Here we have the hospo kids, the hairdressers, the first years, the third years, the fiends, the car enthusiasts, the photographers and so on and so forth. This is just the tip of the iceberg and there are even more groups that I cannot even begin to identify. I myself can’t even ascertain what group I ‘fit into’ as I definitely don’t think I fit into one particular social mould.

So how has this all happened? My theory is that this is a result of the recent introduction of Snapstar and other nightlife photographers.

These photographers who are out and about capturing people partying, have paved the way to creating this ‘Socialite’ scene; where everyone knows who the cool kids are, the ones that are always out partying, the ones that are at all the gigs, the DJ’s, the staff, the ones that are ‘cool’; they capture everyone in their cliques, their groups.

I’ve yet to decide whether this clique scene is a good thing, or a bad thing. People tend to gravitate to those who are similar to themselves; therefore it is innate that this would occur sooner or later. It’s not nice having this distinct separation between groups, but it is something that has always occurred within society. So I leave it to you to decide.

Until next time.

32

AUTEUR HOUSE SIDNEY LUMET WITH RICHARD SWAINSON I’ve just watched my 4th consecutive film from South Australian director Rolf De-Heer. Largely unknown in NZ, De-Heer has an impressive body of work.

Aussie actor Gary Sweet is sensational in Alexandra’s Project (bearing similarities to Lynch’s Blue Velvet). Sweet plays alpha male Steve, who arrives home with some expectation of a ‘big night’ to celebrate his birthday. It’s a kind of Aussie ‘Noir’.

Dingo features legendary trumpeter Miles Davis in a leading role. The movie begins on a surreal note with one of the best opening sequences in recent memory. Set in Paris and the outback of Western Australia, this film is fondly regarded and rightly so.

Ten Canoes is a rare sort of film. Not only is it a bona-fide masterpiece, but is a vivid window into the lives of a small tribal group in the Far North of Australia in an unknown distant past.

After Ten Canoes, De-Heer found a quantity of unused poor film stock in his basement fridge. Looking for a different idea, he wrote the screenplay to suit the condition of the stock, giving birth to Dr. Plonk. A tribute to ‘silent film’ era, this comedy involves time-travel augmented with all manner of slap-stick, and is certainly worth a look.

Bad Boy Bubby is difficult to describe, so here’s what Wikipedia had to say: “Bubby became notorious for pushing the boundaries of good taste with its strong scenes featuring violence, incest and blasphemy amongst other taboo topics.”

I’m not sure what Incident at Raven’s Gate is about, it’ a kind of mad/ frentic conspiracy thriller with no discernable reason. At least it held my attention unlike Epsilon, a preachy environmental/sci-fi parable.

I didn’t like it all, but many do, the strong opening invoked a depth of the space. The use of floating planets and Australian breasts must be commended.

De-Heer is a consummate film maker. His camera work is inventive, his set-pieces often surprising, and his actors’ performances are consistently excellent. But there is something unique in the mix that sets him apart as a storyteller. Perhaps his eye for ‘landscape and skyscape? His ability to approach esoteric themes without affectation?

Or the ‘mystical’ narrative strokes that colour the stories? You will have to answer these questions yourself.

TALES FROM TINSLETOWN

WITH JADE CAREY

Ozzy Osbourne sheds a tear for the latest documentary his son Jack has made for him. The documentary “God Bless Ozzy Osbourne” was said to be a bit of a tear jerker, especially for the great Ozzy Osbourne who “actually cried when his best friend Rudy Sarzo spoke about him.”

Jack revealed to the New York Post that “it was very moving.” The documentary produced by Jack Osbourne follows the prolific career and hell raising lifestyle of the Veteran rocker.

Ozzy has been in the music business for over 40 years, and is best known as the front man of Black Sabbath. The 62 year old musician said he “never expected to enjoy such a lengthy career and was thrilled to watch it all unravel on the big screen.” The film was co-produced

by Jack and was first released by his production company, Jacko Productions. It was originally titled “wreckage Of My Past: The Ozzy Osbourne Story.” The final production, “God Bless Ozzy Osbourne” was directed by Mike Piscitelli and written and produced by Jordan Tappis. Jack and Sharon Osbourne financed the film themselves. The film features never before seen archival footage of the legendary rock star along with interviews of family, friends and fellow musicians.

Sharon Osbourne told hollyscoop.com that “it’s something that came from our hearts, it’s about my husband, Jack’s father. We took on the project with great passion and we feel that jack managed to get a different side of Ozzy on film.” The film has been described as a “definitive portrait of a troubled star.” It is told in part through the eyes of his family, chronicling his arduous journey to sobriety and peace. Ozzy was quoted as saying “It is very difficult talking about yourself [on film], you don’t want to come over like a... Did I think I was ever going to last this long? You’ve got to be f**king joking,” he quipped.

Jack wanted to portray Ozzy from his childhood to the moment in his life where he realised he needed to get sober and stay sober for himself and his family. He is still sober today.

The film was screened at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York, where Ozzy broke down. Ozzy was accompanied to the screening by his wife and his daughter Kelly. Ozzy was deeply touched by the project.

33

DAVES GALLERY OF GLORY

THINGS OUR GRAPHIC DESIGNER LIKES

34

THE REALM OF INFINITE CHAOS AND DICK WITH KEYSER SOZE THE TROUBLE WITH DICK

PRESENTED BY MARK 1 COMICS AND GAMES 551 VICTORIA ST.

If the DC Universe was America then the Bat Family with its unparalleled legacy would surely be the Kennedys. Bruce Wayne is a charismatic and, let’s face it, narcissistic father figure to Barbara and Dick who are both struggling to find their way out of the rather large shadow he casts. There is also Tim Drake (Wayne) and Damien Wayne who have now firmly established themselves as Red Robin and Robin respectively, even Barbara Gordon has found Oracle. But what about Dick Grayson, the very first sidekick, the character who is so well liked amongst the entire DCU? Why must they keep fucking with him?

I don’t know if Dan Diddo the head of DC reads local Waikato Student Magazines but on the off chance he does I want to tell him stop being such a fucking asshole when it comes to your characters. You wouldn’t get this shit over at Marvel!

Ignore for a moment the 1960’s batman TV series that turned Dick Grayson into a one dimensional character incapable of doing anything.

Grayson has consistently been touted as being on par with Batman himself, as a leader, a fighter and even a detective....well almost. He was held in such high regard that when the second robin, Jason Todd, was killed off in death of a family America lost a nut because those who stopped reading comics thought Grayson was dead.

Similarly when Dido announced in the lead up to infinite crisis that he was thinking about killing Grayson the hate mail campaign flooded DC.

suggested why don’t we just kill Batman and replace him with Grayson! It worked briefly in prodigal as part of the breaking of the bat so it apparently made sense for DC to go back to the same exhausted well. Believe it or not I got excited about the prospect by the end of battle for the cowl.

The problem is that no one can write him. With a 150 issue solo run as Nightwing, time as leader of the teen titans, the Outsiders and The (re-formed) Titans, training to be a cop, a mob boss and a museum curator nobody really hit the nail on the head with how to help Dick get rid of the mantle of Batman.

The only problem is in the DC Universe you can’t kill a Kennedy, well not for long anyway. Bruce Wayne eventually came back as we all knew he must, and order was restored. Except Dick got shafted!

Bruce Wayne’s solution “You can be batman too, but i’ll have a yellow symbol you have a black one, oh and look after my biological son he’s your Robin.”

So then one night in the offices DC Comics, probably high on some

Sort it out DC! He can go back to Nightwing or something else but

of the legal drugs that were mentioned a few issues ago someone

keeping Grayson as a second rate Batman is a real Dick Move!

35

MOVIE REVIEWS

THOR - DIRECTED BY KENNETH BRANAGH Science. Tony Stark is a scientific genius in a high-tech suit. Hulk is a freak of science gone wrong and Captain America is a freak of science gone right. Like a lot of Marvel’s flagship heroes, they all have that science base that Stan Lee was so fond of using. And science (or rather science fiction) is how Thor has been conquered on the big screen.

After an epic LOTR-styled prologue that orients us with the world of Asgard and the Gods that rule it, we are quickly introduced to a colossally arrogant Thor, his aloof brother Loki and the ‘Allfather’ himself, Odin (played with both the pathos and fiery passion one has come to expect from Sir Anthony Hopkins). Thor is a cock.

He’s awesome and he knows it and there’s nothing that will stand in his way of taking his father’s place as Ruler of Asgard. But when he disobeys his father’s wishes and pays their old enemies the Frost Giants a visit (a visit that ends in a battle so amazing I felt like a giddy school boy on Christmas morning) he is banished to Earth to learn a valuable lesson. And so begins Thor’s journey, one that will lead him to his mighty mystical hammer Mjolnir (or Mi-yol-ner for correct pronunciation). It’s refreshing to see the hero fully formed from the beginning, there is no mentor or training montage – And Aussie newcomer Hemsworth seems equally at home smashing through 15 foot tall giants or displaying newfound empathy and heroism. A star is surely born.

I saw this movie in opening week and was surprised the theater wasn’t more packed. This could have been because I was at the 2D screening instead of 3D, but nevertheless it was still one of the best movies I’ve seen all year. The director Kenneth Branagh, who you may know from The Boat That Rocked, did a really good job in adapting ‘The God of Thunder’ into a film, keeping in mind he had to compete with the likes of Iron Man and this years’ other marvel films The Green Lantern and Captain America.

I think Kenneth Branagh did a better job than Iron Man director Jon Favreau did with the first film of the series. I was expecting a movie that would introduce all the characters and only have minimal action and build up for the next movie. Thor had the perfect balance between action and introducing the characters.

It begins in one of the realms of Asgard where Odin (Anthony Hopkins) tells the story of how the ice giants battled him and his army many years ago. It then fast-forwards twenty years where both Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) are grown up and at a presentation of what you are made to believe is the crowning of Thor as king. Thor is later introduced to Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), a scientist on earth, and the story develops from there.

The special effects in this film were amazing. When you were in

Thor is the one member of the Avengers that sticks out like a hot girl at a comic convention. First and foremost he’s a GOD, which makes him a hell of a tough nut to crack as a cinematic super hero. Thankfully, Kenneth Branagh and his team of writers know exactly that, and play all their best cards early. There are the aforementioned epic battles. There’s the stunningly realised Asgard. There’s even some welcome poke-funning at our hero’s expense. The movie slows down once Thor reaches Earth and begins a relationship with Natalie Portman that makes him curious and makes her go all giggly. I suppose the biggest complaint is that this relationship doesn’t blossom fully, but another Thor adventure with Portman, Hopkins and the gang would be a good thing at this point.

Asgard the long shots of the city reminded me of a type of heaven, which I guess, is what is trying to be shown because Thor is a god. As tradition with every Marvel film, Stan Lee, the legendary creator of many Marvel comics makes a cameo appearance. You’ll be pleased to hear that it’s not all character sappiness and balls-out action though, as again with every marvel flick, a slither of comedy is injected to give a lighter edge, however it still maintains its action image.

If you are a fan of the Marvel films, go and see this. I guarantee you’ll enjoy it. It stands as one of the better films of 2011 and will no doubt be better than The Green Lantern and maybe Captain America. Oh and make sure you stay for the after credits sneak peak.

Rest assured Marvel fans after the over-crowded disappointment of Iron Man 2, this time Marvel has brought the thunder!

- Reviewed by Sash Nixon 36

- Reviewed by Josh Cooper

KEVIN PRYOR GOES DOWN ON BOOKS DEATH SENTENCES - DON WATSON ‘Given key performance indicators and budget flexibility accorded to the social agencies in the determination of resource allocation from within the national budget, a multi parameter approach to maintaining the agencies budgets in real terms is not appropriate.’

but are also intended to exasperate the reader. A sense of frustrated hopelessness is created, resulting in inertia. Using this technique, the Government agency or Corporation goes unchallenged. Resistance is lulled to sleep.

If the above sentence seems like jargon-ridden crap to you, that’s because it is. Yet this is a real life example lifted from a government document. And if after graduating you start working for a large corporation, you will be exposed to this type of writing all the time. And what’s worse, once you get settled in, you might start writing like this yourself.

Watson contends that this style of writing is not necessarily part of some conspiracy.

Rather after a while the use of such ‘death sentences’ becomes unintentional, a habit created by mimicry.

Politicians, bureaucrats, business people, they all end up in a game of copy cat.

‘Death Sentences: How Clichés, Weasel Words and Management Speak are Strangling Public Language’ is Don Watson’s attempt to stop this rot.

His book casts a critical eye over public language, both corporate and political. As a former speech writer for Aussie P.M Paul Keating, Watson has inside knowledge about evading truth.

He argues that sentences like the opening example, are not only an attempt to obscure meaning,

Clichés such as ‘moving forward, and ‘real terms’ are supposed to sound professional.

To the layman though, it just sounds like a steaming pile of horseshit.

So is there anything you can do about it?

Well the first thing is to be conscious of what ‘dead language’ is, and to try not to use it yourself. Use active rather than passive words i.e verbs over nouns, and avoid unnecessary jargon or clichés.

This way, hopefully, public language will one day come to mean more than hot air.

JUDY READS...

FIRESTARTER – STEPHEN KING I’m writing this because I’ve just read Firestarter... again. It’s a Stephen King and when I really just don’t want to think about anything (like the assignments and stuff looming) it’s an awesome fall back. Easy to read, a pretty good story, a little bit of the scary stuff, distraction until my eyes

point. There are government dudes after them, and they run and hide, get trapped, etc.

won’t stay open anymore but my brain isn’t filled with science which stops me from sleeping.

go. But I still think it’s pretty awesome anyway. Charlie and her dad are likeable characters, you want them to be happy and have a good life. You know it’s not possible, and if they were totally ordinary there wouldn’t be a story at all, but you can’t help but wish them the best. The evil guys from “The Shop” are awesome baddies.

They make your skin crawl with the ways they manipulate father and daughter and you can feel totally justified in doing a little happy dance when they die horrible deaths.

Basic idea of the story is this: the mum and dad were poor when they were studying. The psych department at their school were doing some drug testing of stuff they assumed to be LSD and they thought being paid $200 bucks to either a) take a trip or b) sit there over night because they had been shot up with distilled water wouldn’t be too bad. But because this is a Stephen King novel something had to go wrong. Both mum and dad were shot up with the LSD type junk, but it screwed them up - like the dad now had the ability to plant ideas in people’s heads. Their kid inherits the weird mutation thing and can start fires with her mind.

I think it’s pretty obvious how it goes from that

It’s all totally formulaic, and you can just see where the story is headed from the get

If I’m being totally honest I’ll probably pick this book up again too. Give it a year or so and another couple of sets of exams to melt my brain then I’ll have forgotten enough of the story to enjoy it all over again. I not so secretly love these kinds of books, they’re my favourite form of escape and sometimes that’s all you need.

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KNIGHTS OF THE DUB TABLE

MODEL TRAIN WRECK

Friday May 13th Flow| Hamilton

Cubbyhole | Hamilton

doors open at 9pm

Tui SoundSystem Four Tonne Fiansco DJ Briggsy $10 Door Entry

NZICF COMEDY CONVOY Wed/Thurs May 18/19th

Clarence St Theatre | Hamilton

doors open 8pm-10:30pm

The Comedy Convoy is hittin’ the road to bring the 2011 NZ International Comedy Festival to audiences across the country. $45 + bf

Friday May 13th doors open 8pm

The Shrugs | The Good Fun and Frankie $10 Door Entry

DANNY BHOY

Messenger (please don’t shoot) Thursday May 19th

Founders Theatre | Hamilton doors open at 8pm $45 Adult | $42 Student www.ticketek.co.nz

Ascent and Lord of Tigers

THE ANNUAL HAMILTON CIRCLE J**K

Friday May 27th

Saturday May 28th

BEASTWARS

Biddy Mulligans | Hamilton doors open at 8pm $10 Beastwars are releasing the demon from it’s cage in the form of their untitled debut album and a potent five stop nationwide tour

Flow | Hamilton

doors open 8pm Hamilton’s most celebrated music events!

15 bands playing on one night $10 Tickets

OUR:HOUSE

Saturday May 14th Altitude & Gravity| Hamilton doors open at 9pm

Computers Want me Dead Bulletproof | Tim Phin Dick “Magic” Johnson NYNE | Sarah Horton Jason Howson | Mayavanya Rich Carey | Tronik DJs www.iticket.co.nz

FUCK YEAH

GET LOADED NZ TOUR

Thursday May 4th Flow| Hamilton

doors open 9pm

Kyle Bourke

Circuit | cross the noughts Tronik DJs | Merkdup $5 Door Entry

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‘FUCK YEAH’ 28TH MAY| FLOW BAR The third instalment of Fuck Yeah, a fortnightly gig put on by the guys that bring you Soundscape, saw the first ever set of new duo Reservoir Dogs as headlining act with support from Free Bear DJ’s, Diaz Grimm, Piece and Damo T. The night began with a solely Hip Hop set by Diaz Grimm, with lots of vocal tunes; followed by Damo T, resident Easy Tiger DJ who played his first ever set at Flow. Piece, fairly new to the Hamilton scene, but with many followers and friends killed it as always.

Reservoir Dogs hit the scene by unleashing a filthy mix on Soundcloud via Facebook to tease us all and to many people’s surprise were composed of William Munro (Willapede) and Sam Taylor (Staylo). These boys never cease to disappoint and together they brought a sound that was filthy, melodic and with plenty of bass to boot.

The passion and talent of all the DJ’s was impressive and I can’t wait to see what the next Fuck Yeah brings.

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PRESENTS

THE BUSTED PAGE

QUAKE APPEARANCE

APRIL 30TH - THE METEOR

THE WEEKEND THAT WAS

APRIL 30TH - MAY 1ST

ALL PHOTOS BY SHANNON ROLFE - SHANNONROLFE.COM

There’s even more To see each week on...

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CHECK OUT

HEY

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.CO.NZ