issue 10 by Nexus Magazine

Internet Communities 路 Recommended sites 路 Wasting time 路 ROFL!

Section Title

Issue 11 22 May 2006

Q&A

QUESTIONS Name/internet alias 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Favourite website? Should people be allowed to reference online articles in their essays? How many hours do you spend online a day? Ever hooked up with someone you met online? Are you a demon in the sack? (Who’s gonna say no to this?)

SUBJECTS Sehai/sexy_pres69 (Ok, that’s just a guess...) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Westpac’s banking site If they are academic articles, then yes. About 5 hours. God no! The last race I entered, I won…

Abdul/Abdul 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Aljazeera.net Yep About 1 hour? Maybe, yes, one time. (Slight diversion here while I explain ‘demon in the sack’, but then no doubt at all) Of course!

Dawood/Al.amri 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

www.seeb3.com and www.alfateh-oman.com Yes Before, about 5 or 6, but now, 1. Yes Of course, yes.

Rocky/Pop_ups with Eve/Slayerchick666 1.

2. 3. 4. 5.

Rocky: www.youtube.com Eve: www.nzdating.com R: Yes, absolutely. E: Yes, deﬁnitely. R:6 – 10 hours. E: About 1 hour R: I met my current partner on nzdating, and we’ve been together for a year now. E: I never have, but maybe I should try it. R: Oh yes, I’m Lucifer – not just a demon. E: Oh hell yes.

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Funny business Think you can do better? Send your jokes to nexus@waikato.ac.nz ing between

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragg them a young man.

Q. What’s grey? A. A melted penguin! A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen.” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “That driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Who’s there? Person 1: Control freak. Person 1: Now you say “control freak who?”

Q: If you’re an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? A: European!

“This young man agreed to marry my daughter,”

said one.

“No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the

other.

And so they haggled before the King, until he called

for silence.

I shall hew the “Bring me my biggest sword,” said Solomon, “and half.” e receiv young man in twain. Each woman shall “Sounds good to me,” said the first lady. please do not But the other woman said, “Oh Sire, I beg of you, ter marry daugh n’s spill innocent blood. Let the other woma him.” young man must The wise king did not hesitate a moment. “The imed. marry the first lady’s daughter,” he procla “But she was willing to hew him in two!” exclaimed court. “Indeed,” said wise King Solomon. “That shows mother-in-law.”

the king’s

she is the TRUE

Announcer at Tyson Vs. Holyfield II: !!!!!! In this corner Evander “the Real Meal” Holyfield Q: What’s the difference between England and A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

a tea bag?

Contributed by Gary Oliver This week’s winner of a Rialto pass is Gary Oliver. Give him some competition and send us your jokes for the next issue!

TAKEN FROM TOOTHPASTEFORDINNER.COM

Websites of Interest! Found Magazine Here’s a website for all you curious types. This site collects images of notes, photos, love letters—basically anything juicy, funny or interesting—and collates it all here. There’s some great stuff on here such as the example to the left. Have fun! http://www.foundmagazine.com/



PICTURE LOL FACTOR: 8

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Party Time

PARTY REVIEW BY SKOT

Edward Winey Hands The name, although sounds like it came from the movie Edward Scissor Hands has nothing to do with the movie or Johnny Depp whatsoever. However, this is the recipe you will need for success at your next Edward Winey Hands function.

Ingredients

2 hands 2 wine bottles 1 roll of duct tape 1 large bladder At least 1 hour

Method

Get one responsible adult to tape each hand to a wine bottle so that no fingers are exposed. Tape is then to be removed once both bottles have been drunk/spilled etc.

Notes:

Wine can be replaced with scrumpies (apple cider) if the thought of having glass taped to you hands for a couple of hours while drunk scares you. Unfortunately I had a cold and was too soft to make it to any parties thanks to the city of Waikato and its awesome winter weather! But thanks to another great party held by Alpha Delta Gamma fraternity here at the Waikato University, I was given photos and told the event was a huge success. The official ADG Edward Winey Hands was held in 3 heats due to its overwhelming popularity. I think the photos do the party justice enough though.

3 quotes that never quite made it to the top 3 list of their respected weeks: You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries? Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not drunk, all right? I just have a speech impediment

Txt me anytime (after 7am) 0274 279319 and JR and myself will review your party Issue 10 15 May 2006

L O

Contents FEATURES 16 1 20 46

Caught in the Net Killing time on the internet Internet Communities What’s there and what’s it like OMG!!1 Nexus Website Guide AIESIC’s NZMS

PHOTOS

WSU NZ Music Month: æther and Carl Watkins Busted

NEWS

08-12 Open Day, Chlamydia, International Student Fee Rise, You best Recognyz SIFE, Short Shorts, Haiku News, Mr Safety Bigglesworth

REGULARS 03 I Got 5 On It 04 Jerk Jokes 05 Party Review 0 Editorial 14 Lettuce 22 Engine Talk 23 The Second Oldest Profession 24 Gig Guide 26 WSU columns 31 Notices 33 Killing Time on Campus 34 Confessions of a list maker 34 Rage in a Cage 35 Word Freak

Credits

Cover artwork by Peter Stewart

If you would like a go at doing a cover, email graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz

Editor Dawn ‘Hit Artist’ Tuffery

News Editor Joshua ‘Rising Star’ Drummond

nexus@waikato.ac.nz

news@nexus-npl.co.nz

Designer Matt ‘Singstar’ Scheurich

Interim Music Editor: M. Emery Books Editor: Michelle Coursey Politics Editor: Chris Grenfell Feature Writers: Dawn, Danielle Thomson, Matt, Josh, Daniel Woodfield

graphics@nexus.npl.co.nz

Advertising Manager Tony ‘Amateur’ Arkell

admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz 0211766180

35 Top 3 with The Panther 35 The Magic 8 Ball 36 Boganology 101 36 Classic Rock Review 38 Uncle Jim’s Kiddies Page 39 Comics 40 Books 41 Food & Drink 42 Citric 43 DVDs 44 The Player 45 Films 45 Rialto Check 4 Busted

Contributors this issue: Keith Hornby, Mazzy, Hannah Yen, Christie Purcell, Petra Jane, Nick Elliott, Boulanger, Skot, Matt, Brie Jessen, Sophie Porter, Sanaz, Danielle Thomson, Burton C. Bogan, CJ, Nick, Chester, M. Emery, Sam Rogers, Tovah, The Panther, Gary Oliver, Uncle Jim, Hazazel, Kazuma Namioka, Leigh McGeady, Joe Citizen, Josh Drummond, ASPA, WSU

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Nexus: Always up for some digital love The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus Publications 2003 Ltd, any of our advertisers, WSU or APN. Actually we’re too tired to have views right now, so we faked them all. But if you have views, feel free to share them. As long as they’re not, like, libellous and stuff (not that we’re responsible for that either. It was the other guy! That guy there! With the spanner in the drawing room!). Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

Editorial Drippy, sore, snotty colds are really miserable. There’s not much you can do about them either. I’ve had about 3 trees worth of aloe vera tissues, many propolis lozenges, lots of water and sage tea, some herbal remedy, more Vicks vapodrops than you’re supposed to have in a day and enough garlic to keep the office free of vampires (and contributors) for a bit. No luck.

NEVER see you. Have a nice remainder of your life’. This is what those 8000 people waiting for operations got to hear. People like Waikato woman Robyn McLean who got told she had to wait 9 months for a mammogram after finding a cancerous lump in her breast, or a 15 year old with endometriosis so bad that she ‘passes out with the pain’.

See, I meant to write a serious piece about the 8000 people being cut off hospital waiting lists. Something kind of articulate and poignant but hard-hitting that puts the world to rights while making people laugh. But it’s not gonna happen - my head hurts and I can’t get the typing flow rolling before the eyes water and the nose runs. Guess it’s just a matter of waiting. This virus will take its own sweet time.

I suspect I have a misplaced faith in the system that if something really crap happens to my health, they’ll try and make me better. Seems like that’s probably not the best strategy.

I’m not down with waiting. It’s frustrating. It’s partly the reason I cycle places, because I dislike waiting for traffic jams, parking spots, buses or rides. Yes, that’s probably indicative of some deep psychological flaw and I should use the time to centre myself and meditate. But at least I know my cold will be gone by the time you read this, and that the lights will turn green eventually. It’s not so simple for everyone. I had occasion to go to the hospital emergency room last week and see how badly off people can be before they’re ‘urgent’. And how a sign saying ‘The emergency room is in OVERLOAD. Non-urgent cases expect to wait 8+ hours’ can be a seriously depressing greeting. Magnify that situation, and then pretend they replace that sign with ‘Sorry, you’re not quite important enough. Probably we’ll

Designer’s Word

Essentially, the lesson is ‘don’t get sick or hurt yourself’. If you do, go extreme - either hurt yourself really badly or hardly at all. Next lesson, focus your entire life on making lots of money so that you can afford private operations and extensive health insurance. Final lesson, don’t park in the Waikato Hospital carpark. It’s a Hotel California-esque den of iniquity from which you will never escape. Ok, so I exaggerate. But whatever the circumstances of arrival, you ain’t getting free until you pay up. If you forgot your purse because you were distracted by the blood pouring out your partners’ head? Tough luck, you’re screwed. Better start busking in the corridor. Do you want to get your opinion, news, cultural club, sweet graphics, etc in Nexus? Write to us and tell us about it, or pitch us an article. We’re busy bees up here and can’t sniff out everything that’s happening out there so you’ve got to be our eyes and ears. You don’t have to be a student to contribute. You don’t even have to be from the Waikato (hi, Tauranga people. Write to us sometime).

BY MATT

shit, some of it you might be interested in if you do graphic and web design.

Gidday kids, since this is the internet issue – a subject very close to my heart – I figured I’d recommend some websites for you:

2. http://www.devilrobots.com/ One of my favourite Japanese design houses. They design toys and stuff and looks like it’d be a fun place to work.

1. http://www.k10k.net/ “The Designer’s Lunchbox.” Has lots of

3. http://www.idnproshop.com/ Home of IdN magazine and the other Issue 10 15 May 2006

publications they do. I actually think IdN isn’t as cool as it used to be but their other books and stuff are damn sexy lookin’. 4. http://www.suicidegirls.com/ Not really related to design (aside from the cool site design they have) but more to do with pictures of nude girls. It’s tasteful (as in not completely pornographic) and there are interesting articles to read too!

Monday, 15 May 2006

UNCLE JIM TALKS OPEN DAY

BY UNCLE JIM

Hello, boys and girls, children of all ages. Well, the News Ed asked me to do a piece on the recent Open Day, and how could I refuse? Open Day was fantastic. Hundreds of schoolgirls, sadly mainly clad in mufti, arrived from schools all over the country to tour the wondrous institution that is Waikato University. Despite having a restraining order unfairly slapped on me by an uncaring administration, due to charges they can’t even begin to prove – ha! – I managed to slip in and present myself as a helpful “tour guide” to Cambridge Girls

High. And what a tour I did take them on! No, not like that, y’ sickos. Sipping from a concealed bottle of bourbon to calm my raging libido, I showed them the sights than only Uncle Jim sees. Like the view from the top of the Library. I did notice some of the children were quite pushy and rude, but that’s only to be expected in ones so young. All young people grow up, eventually. So sad. I also showed them the things the University wanted them to see. Like the meteor, prominently in display in some tent somewhere. And the lovely University lakes. And a whole lot of other stuff like Goodnight Nurse and those hot WaiTaiko Issue 10 15 May 2006

drummers. The day dawned nasty and shitty, but in the tradition of Open Days past, it had turned rather nice by about 10 am. There was so much to see and do! The girls were quite tired by the end of the day, but appeared markedly keen to get back to their bus. I had offered them some of my bourbon, but they politely refused, one remarking that she “didn’t want AIDS.” Fair enough, I say. I didn’t want it either. Damn that trip to San Francisco. Ah well, I say. There is a certain je ne sais quoi about Open Day.

News

Waikato Students – More Chlamydia Than Ever BY JOSHUA DRUMMOND

Chlamydia infection rates are up to 25% higher than the same time last year at Waikato University. This figure is in line with wider Waikato trends, but is significantly higher than the national average. In 2005, the Waikato region had an infection rate of 228 persons per 100,000 tested – significantly higher than the Auckland rate of 182 per 100,000. According to 2005’s Institute of Environmental Science & Research report, the highest rate of chlamydia was in the 15 to 19 years age group for females, and the 20 to 24 years age group for males – which places most of the figures squarely in the middle of the university demographic. “Going on current [2006] stats, we’ve increased by 20-25% from the February – May period last year,” says Jeanette Burtenshaw of the University Student Health Service. Jeanette did not think the increase could be put down to a higher awareness of STIs, prompted by Government sexual health advisories, such as the “No rubba – No hubba hubba” campaign that ran in 2005. “It could indicate more people are coming in here, but it’s also likely that it means there’s been an increase in infections overall. I think there is more awareness, but there are also more infections out there. Which doesn’t really make sense, on the face of it.” She says part of the problem might be a culture of denial, particularly amongst male students. “I think a lot of it could be just people thinking they’re bulletproof, even once the symptoms kick in.” The rates of infections in the Waikato are up to five times higher than in Australia. These high figures are a “warning sign,” says Kitty Flannery, of Health Waikato’s sexual health service. “It is a marker that more people are having unsafe sex and are having more partners,” she said. “The chlamydia infection rate is increasing, but [another] real concern is the increasing rate of gonorrhoea infections. The message is that people are not using

condoms and aren’t taking the safe sex message seriously”

STIs increase HIV risk Flannery echoed the Student Health Service’s opinion that some of the increase could be attributed to heightened awareness, but was adamant that infections were still on the rise. The increase can lead to a flow-on effect where less serious STIs can lead to the “real nasties” – like HIV. “Worldwide, if you see a increase in general STIs, you see an increase in HIV infections,” she said. “Having genital infections tends to increase the transmissibility of the HIV virus. People also need to be aware that NZ is an

She says part of the problem might be a culture of denial, particularly amongst male students. “I think a lot of it could be just people thinking they’re bulletproof, even once the symptoms kick in.” international community, and students who travel are dipping into a big pool, so to speak. There’s this fluid movement.” Both Flannery and Burtenshaw said there were a number of main causes of chlamydia’s contagiousness, particularly amongst youth. Of particular worry, said Flannery, was alcohol abuse. “Alcohol affects your decisions about condom use,” she said. “It can make the decision whether to use a condom much less of a big deal.” While stressing that unprotected sex was the largest single factor in transmission, she added that having multiple sex partners dramatically increased chances of contracting an STI. Issue 10 15 May 2006

People have to realise that having multiple sex partners increases risk. It’s like lotto – the more “tickets” you buy, the bigger your chance of “winning.” Burtenshaw also cited the long waiting period between when chlamydia infection and when the infection is actually detectable. “It’s up to 14 days before it can be detected, but that varies from person to person,” she said. Because of this gap, people can spread the disease without knowing they have it, even if they’ve been recently tested – and come up negative.”

Morons who don’t use condoms are walking biological weapons The remedy for this says Burtenshaw, is simple – wear condoms if you’re having casual sex. If you’re in a relationship, wear protection until you’ve been tested outside the waiting period – and both partners come up “clean.” “It’s just common sense, really.” Chlamydia can be transmitted through hetero or homosexual sex. It can cause infertility in women and testicular infections in men, as well as pelvic inflammatory disease. It can also cause ectopic pregnancies in women (where the baby grows in the fallopian tubes rather than the uterus) and can occur in the eyes, causing conjunctivitis-like symptoms. Infected women often have no symptoms. If treated early with antibiotics, the complications of the disease can mostly be avoided. Gonorrhoea can be transmitted through oral, anal and vaginal sex. The disease may not manifest symptoms. Male symptoms usually take the form of painful urination and discharge. Female symptoms tend to be milder, but can include vaginal bleeding and discharge. It can lead to many of the same complications as chlamydia, including infertility. People with chlamydia may also be infected with gonorrhoea. Antibiotics are used to treat the disease, but drug resistant strains have been recorded. Being infected with chlamydia or gonorrhoea increases the risk of contracting HIV. Condoms dramatically reduce the risk of contracting any STI.

News

International Fees Rise As Student Numbers Fall BY CHRIS LEGGETT & KATE NEWTON

Universities across the country look set to raise international fees, citing increasingly low international student intake and rising costs. The Victoria University council recently voted on an average fee rise of 12 percent for international students, citing declining international student figures and the falling New Zealand dollar as justifications. “That’s one of the main excuses they’ve [used to] put it up between 12 and 15 per cent,” says Victoria University Students’ Association president Nick Kelly. Victoria University reported 793 international enrolments in February this year, down from 900 the previous year. The Otago University council also voted for more modest increases to international student fees of between 2.65 and 5 per cent last Tuesday. Unlike Victoria’s management, Academic Deputy Vice-Chancellor Gareth Jones says that the increases are mainly to keep up with rising course costs, rather than to mitigate the decline in international student enrolments. However, Otago University student president Paul Chong says that the University should ‘grandparent’ fees each year for existing students so that international students face certainty about course costs when they enrol for study. Although the fee-setting agendas for other tertiary institutions are unknown at this stage, dwindling international enrolments are commonplace. Waikato University recently reported a 15 percent drop in international EFTS from 2005. Massey University Palmerston North has seen a decline of 136 international enrolments between 2005 and 2006, with Massey Wellington reporting 227 less enrolments. Bucking the trend is Massey Albany, which has seen a 7.47 per cent increase in international enrolments. Auckland University has reported 135

less international Equivalent Full Time Students (EFTS) in 2005 according to Auckland University Students’ Association president Dan Bidois. “The university in 2006 has budgeted for less international students than last year and we’re below that as it stands. All around the country they’re experiencing this down turn. It’s something we don’t really have a lot of control over.” Mr Bidois says it’s “too early to tell” whether the Auckland University council will raise international and domestic fees in response to the dropping international student numbers. He also says a poor economy and the fact that domestic employers seem to prefer domestic graduates is behind the decline. “There’s a solid downturn in our economy and obviously that’s making it less attractive to send your kids to New Zealand. A lot of students come here to get an education and can’t get a job here, [so] they go back and tell their friends: ‘I didn’t get a job in New Zealand’.” Figures from Education New Zealand have shown earnings from international students are at a three-year low. However, the statistics cover both secondary and tertiary education, with the tertiary sector said to account for little of the decline. Foreign exchange earnings for 2005 stand at $1.89 billion – 11 per cent down on 2004. There has been a 13 per cent drop in the number of international students over the same time. Communications director for Education New Zealand Stuart Boag says the drop is “not so much at the university level”, stating that the drop in international students in the tertiary sector is a mere 3.3 per cent. “At the university level it’s modest at this stage. Tuition fee income actually went up by 1.4 per cent [but] just because the Equivalent Full Time Students (EFTS) number has gone down doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re doing exactly equivalent Issue 10 15 May 2006

courses from the year before.” Mr Boag says that an increase in international fees is not an expected outcome in light of the data from Education New Zealand. “At the end of the day, students will respond to the market accordingly. They’ll come to New Zealand if they think it’s good value, and they won’t if they don’t. Putting fees up in response to less demand is not necessarily a response we might expect.” However, Mr Boag claims the poor economy could make study in New Zealand more appealing for international students. “That will stimulate demand. Most students that come to New Zealand don’t have a long-term plan [here] other than studying. The total in the last nine years is 15.4 per cent of first-time students who’ve come here and gone on to become New Zealand residents.” – ASPA

“The university in 2006 has budgeted for less international students than last year and we’re below that as it stands. All around the country they’re experiencing this down turn. It’s something we don’t really have a lot of control over.” Auckland University Students’ Association president Dan Bidois

News

Waikato Uni Management Students “Recognyzed” BY JOSH DRUMMOND

and 2004 international SIFE competitions in Germany and Spain.

A team of students involved in Students In Free Enterprise (SIFE) won the Apprentice award for “creative and entrepreneurial ideas,” and were listed as finalists in the Fast Crew category at last month’s Recognyze Youth Awards.

Crosby says that the award was a “great boost for the team.” “It’s fantastic that they can be recognized for the work that they’ve done. Plus, the actual event is a great networking opportunity.”

Jake Crosby, who accepted the award on behalf of the SIFE team, said that their aim was to “help the community help itself through innovative business ideas.” Crosby’s SIFE team created a game called “Sifetown,” which aims to teach children about market economics. They tested the concept by having Girl Guides play the game at one of their camps. The Waikato group has also seen success on an international level. They were chosen to represent New Zealand at the 2003

The award was presented at a ceremony held on April 28th at Hamilton’s Founder’s Theatre, and was attended by Youth Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta. The Recognyze awards are an initiative of the Hamilton Youth Council, and aim to “combat negative publicity that has focused on the anti-social behaviours of young people.” SIFE is an international non-profit corporation active in 40 countries world wide, which focuses on developing business skills amongst local communities.

Issue 10 15 May 2006

News

Short Shorts Maori students targeted for excellence and entrepreneurship Teams from six Waikato secondary schools are to compete in a new competition aimed at encouraging excellence and entrepreneurship among Māori students. Hillcrest High, Hamilton Boys High and Fairfield College from Hamilton, as well as Cambridge High School have confirmed they’ll be participating; another two schools have still to be selected. The Rangatahi Business Competition will see each team present a researched case study on a Māori business from within Aotearoa, competing for a top prize of $2,500. The competition is being launched by Waikato Management School, in collaboration with Hamilton City Council and the Ministry of Youth Development. “We’re looking for stories of Māori who have succeeded in business, as told by their successors,” explains Duke Boon, Māori Consultant at Waikato Management School. “We hope the competition will open the eyes of our rangatahi (whippersnappers) to the potential of business.”

PS3 to launch in New Zealand on November 17th

Sony press releases downplay horrendous price, over-uses the “® and ™” symbols.

Sony announced at the E3 Expo in Los Angeles that it would launch PLAYSTATION®3 (PS3™) in “Clear Black” throughout mainland Europe, Australia and New Zealand on November 17, 2006, as part of a worldwide simultaneous launch.

NEXUS HAIKU NEWS The Big News summed up in 17 syllables fit for print 12

BY JOSH DRUMMOND

Says the press release: “PS3™ is the most advanced computer system that serves as a platform to enjoy next generation computer entertainment contents in the home, realized through the combination of Cell™ and RSX™ processors, in addition to the playability of a vast catalog of PlayStation® and PlayStation®2 software titles.” “Having Giga-bit Ethernet and a pre-installed hard disk drive (HDD) as standard in PS3™, users will be able to download a variety of contents as well as access on-line games and services over the network.” The PS3 will cost €499 with a 20 gigabyte hard drive and €599 with a 60 gig drive. In New Zealand dollars, €599 comes to $1,211.83 at current exchange rates. Hefty.

And in the “no one cares,” category…Apples.

“Crushed Apple” 100% Pure New Zealand Apple Juice is being launched at The Food Show at the Westpac Stadium in Wellington this weekend, Friday to Sunday 12-14 May 2006. Fashion Foods Ltd owners and apple orchardists Bill and Erica Lynch from Redwood Valley, Richmond, Nelson, New Zealand, are the producers of Crushed Apple and are personally presenting their own quality branded product at the show together with their distributor Mediterranean Food Warehouse Wellington. Gino Cuccurullo of Mediterranean Food Warehouse was looking for a premium juice to introduce to his wholesale and

Keith Richards thanks ‘beautiful ladies’ at Auckland hospital Old ghoul Keith hurt his head Falling out of a tree. Why? ‘Cause he was high. Civil Aviation Authority put on notice over unsafe airlines Unsafe airplanes fly in sky Then they don’t Bend over, kiss ass good-bye

retail and customers, and when he sampled one glass of Crushed Apple that was enough to convince him he was onto something special. “It’s beautiful, it’s natural, it’s quality, it’s economical and it’s very well packaged” says Gino. “People are prepared to pay a small premium for something as good as this.” Here’s a submitted article about a date that takes place seven months from now. In the holidays. Try to remember.

“International Volunteer Day” BY AKIHIRO YAMASAKI

Every year 5th of December is the day that people should be proud of being kiwis! It is International Volunteer Day (IVD). IVD was established to raise the public and governmental awareness that volunteers have been bringing to society at United Nations General Assembly in 1985. More than a million generous New Zealanders are engaged in volunteer work - a high proportion. IVD means a lot to New Zealand. The contribution made by volunteers is far underestimated despite the fact that New Zealand society has greatly benefited through their considerable personal sacrifice. Their activities range from community, environmental to emergency services including firefighters and ambulance staff. Everybody in New Zealand is encouraged to celebrate 5th of December every year. To begin with, I am now helping raise your attention to International Volunteer Day, to have a little think about the devoted kiwis behind our happiness.

Name of police recruit on rape charge remains secret Young cop, a raw recruit His name suppressed For raping a prostitute

Economy falls in world ranking Economy in a hole? Why’s that? Two words: Kyoto Protocol.

Gruesome photos proposed for cigarette packets Those stupid smokers Keep on puffing They’ll stop if shown decayed lungs, right?

Fuel economy website launched Website starts, to tell People to save fuel Paid for with petrol taxes.

Issue 10 15 May 2006

News

Mr. Safety Bigglesworth in the

“Crimebeat on Campus” Hi kids, it’s your pal, Mr Safety Bigglesworth, here with all the latest tips for keeping safe and crime-free on campus. Well, sort of. Due to a colossal oversight on the part of the person who writes this column we don’t actually have any crime to report, per se. But wait! There is one thing, and it’s the biggest crime of all. Somewhere, out there in the wider world, are people who are having sexual intercourse without wearing prophylactics. That’s fucking without condoms, for all the cretins out there. And it’s the biggest crime of all. I should know – in 1917 I contracted a bad case of the clap, from a French hooker. Doctor said it was syphilis. Might have been responsible for the deteriorating quality of all the novels I appeared in over the years. And for the open sores all over my body, my deafness, my insanity, and my infertility.

HAVING SEX, YOU FUCKING MORONS! There. Just remember that, and you’ll be cool. Oh, and get regular STI checkups. They’re free and confidential. And they hurt less than an untreated STI does. Time for some crime advice: The burglary season is approaching. Lock your house. Don’t hide the keys – burglars will find them. If a burglar has to break in to steal stuff, it looks better on your insurance claim than “they snuck in through the unlocked ranch-slider when we were away for the weekend.” Oh, and get insurance. Yours,

Mr Safety Bigglesworth

Fortunately, syphilis is rare these days. Chlamydia and gonorrhoea aren’t rare at all. In the Waikato, there’s a lot going around. All of you who read the Nexus news (both of you) will have realised this by now, because there’s a big fucking article about it. I wrote last week about how the people who steal shit from cars are scum sucking sub-human brainless fucktards. They are. And all of you who are fucking strangers without condoms are even worse. I mean – and I’m talking to the blokes here - are you so tough that you like the idea of your cock dissolving in a sea of pain and your ‘nads swelling to the size of pumpkins? You are? Fuck you. You must play league. Seriously. Did any of you see the “No rubba, no hubba hubba campaign?” I guess not. I mean, I didn’t watch them because I featured that awful “hip hop” music that the kids all like these days. Men didn’t watch them because they tended to feature two blokes kissing an awful lot (Why no girls kissing? I guess lesbians don’t get STIs. Yes, I know it’s because girls can’t wear condoms. That’s not my point.) Girls didn’t watch them because they sucked. So, I guess the message never got through. So I’ll take the time to do, in one sentence, what the Ministry of Health couldn’t do with a multi-million dollar budget and terrible animation:

WEAR PROTECTION WHEN YOU’RE Issue 10 15 May 2006

Send your letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz. Any topic you like. You could win a $5 voucher to use at Campus Kiosk…tasty!

Lettuce Policy

Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters pages — serious or otherwise. Letters should be no more than 250 words and received by 5pm on the Tuesday before publication. All letters will generally be printed so give it a bash, but the editor retains the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Bad spelling and grammar will not be corrected — proof it yourself or you’ll look dumb. Pseudonyms are acceptable but all letters must include your real name and contact details even if you don’t want them printed. We discourage the use of pseudonyms for serious letters.

LETTER OF THE WEEK Petrol Prices Imagine if the world was to stop spending money on petrol for one day. Do you know how much loss that is to oil companies???? IMAGINE!!! Millions or even Billions of dollars loss. Now imagine that happening every week for a whole Year or even a month. How much loss would that be??? I believe we do have control over the prices of petrol but we are complaining too much and not enough action is taken to solve the problem. Its not an easy solution to the problem but its a start. Stop using your car unless you really need to use it (and it mostly mean emergencies). Walk to your mates house instead of driving there when they just live 5 minutes away (good exercise). Use the public transports to get to places. These little things could help lower petrol prices a bit by challenging the oil companies by lowering their income. If our ancestors survived their lifetime without a car Im sure we could survive a day without it too. Its an idea and I hope for those who complains alot about prices, start thinking and take action to solve the problem. There is always an answer to every problem. Smart people Think smart. Monty Not the best England, but good concepts. B+! Come and get your voucher!

More Engine Talk Please

It’s About Whales

dear editor why isnt there more stuff on cars? the engine talk guy fucking rocks! can you tell him to do one on rotas plz

hello nexus,

from james

Bring Back The Caramel Dear Tiptop (icecream not bread) We are writing this letter to inform you that we are deeply distressed. We have become aware that dairies and petrol stations - pretty much all shops - no longer offer for consumer purchase caramel trumpets. How can a New Zealand icecream company let down the nation in such a horrid, insulting and downright rude manner??? Why should we resort to vanilla, when caramel is obviously the better choice? We demand action!! How can it be forever summer when every time we have to compromise our taste, we die a little inside. They say you can’t beat a trumpet—we wouldn’t know, we don’t eat them anymore. Bring back CARAMEL!!! Yours sincerely disgruntled customer

Don’t Bring Back The Teenagers Thanks Waikato uni for teaching me something at last – to avoid their open days like the plague. Trying to think how to say this without sounding like my dad, but no luck. Young people today really are arrogant, and self centred. Guess the uni has no choice tho, gotta slime up to the yoof as much as possible so you can persuade them to habd over their lovely $$. At least I won’t be around next year when this group of inconsiderate shits actually starts studying. Scary thought. Regards, Cary

Issue 10 15 May 2006

i am erin, japanese girl. My country hunt the yummy whale. everone please vote for my country (japan) for hunt the whale. i like very much. thakyou, peace love ERIN CAVE

Bums Like Shiny Paper Too Dear Editor, I really don’t get what fuss is all about the new glossy nexus paper not being suitable for toilet use. I think it’s even better for my delicate behind than the old grey ruffy paper. True, it is less moisture absorbent but less irritating on the other side. A real bummer is the combination of both! This is why wise and cost-efficient students are currently stacking up the storage with older editions that are still available in the catacombs of the WSU. I say: Stop moaning you morons and get back to work! And stop stealing my nexus copies, I need them for later! Yours, truly a delicate behind and its big brain

Top Poetry Entries for The Player competition! Sup Nexus, chuck this in the Socom US Navy seals 3 competition… There once was a deadline, due the next day at ten, But I wasn’t stressed with twelve hours till then. So as I started on and into the night, I took up a controller and had a quick fight. I said “half an hour, and a quick quiet beer” As I whipped out the moves with X O . Two hours later and I had won quite a lot, The game was on easy, but I was still hot. One player was boring, so the boys came around, The talent went up as the fridge levels went down.

Lettuce Another beer gone and I was winning content. That assignment is only worth twenty percent. I could feel myself getting tired, but I had to try, So I went to BP for a mince and cheese pie. The page was getting blurry with six hours left, Was I going to do an assignment or test? I was finally sitting down but it didn’t seem right, So I went to my girlfriends to play that game all night. Lucas de Jong Hey Nexus! I’m loving the ‘The Player’ column guys! You da shizzle mah nizzle. Fo’ sho’. OH MY GOD I want that Socom 3 please!! Here’s a steamy suggestive limerick about playing games all day and all night long baby! I WANNA PLAY YOU ALL NIGHT LONG BABY Inserting my hard cartridge, Ramming it nice and tight. Flicking the smooth switch gently, The TV screen clear and bright. As the 2D graphics beckon playfully, I romantically shut out the light And start fiddling with my big controller, Until the morning turns into night.

Opinion

Nine lives would be nice BY CHRISTIE PURCELL They say cats have nine lives. The way some students act (myself included) makes me wonder how many lives we think we have. Every week students will walk or drive drunk from town. The next day we read about the unlucky ones that didn’t make it home. Every week students get beaten up after walking home from town. There are often fatal crashes caused by drink driving. Every week someone gets hurt. So, why do we keep doing it? Probably because some of us are naïve enough to believe that bad things don’t happen to us; they only happen to other people, right? Wrong. Maybe some of us watched too many superhero cartoons

Spent and shaking I turn off the switch The screen fades slowly to black, And I lay my worn controller down And collapse contentedly onto my back. Reaching over to my tacky drawer I withdraw a slender cigarette, And draw a puff of satisfaction As the Sega climbs into bed. “Thank you babe, that was so much fun I really had a blast, And it seems as though my response times Are becoming rather fast!” The machine sits up and looks at me And gives me a wistful wink, “I had fun too, let’s play again.. To maybe level 10 i think!” Was it as good for you as it was for me? ;) Lol. Please pick me to win guys! Cheers, Nexus ROCKS! CeeDy TeknoFile Here’s my little rhyme for a great game: Tekken 5 ‘GET READY FOR THE NEXT BATTLE!’ “I’ll give you a beating that’ll Be the end Of you my friend And leave me to stand and prattle.” We chose our characters, The ones we most prefer. A battle of skill, At the ‘Burning Temple.’

Our thumbs began to stir. The battle became very intense. Yet he kept a strong defence. I was Lee, And he Christie, But I will win I sense. She has her crazy breakdance. I, the ‘Hitman Stance.’ A ‘Scatter Blow.’ 10-Hit Combo. Tekken’s enrapturing trance. It’s now the Final Round, A champion is to be crowned. I laugh in delight As I win the fight And the better has been found. Every match is a joy. Complex moves I employ. Lightning-fast fingers, Adrenaline lingers, To crush, kill & destroy. Oh how I adore Tekken. The way it puts me in Zen. But I’m no poet And you probably know it But could I have Socom prizemen? - Courtesy of Sam Winner announced on page 44!

when we were young & still believe we are invincible. Whatever. Our misperceptions don’t change the fact that, with some of the situations we put ourselves into; we are lucky to come out alive.

Reading this article, I can’t believe how much I sound like my parents. That’s not cool. But neither is being scraped off the road and into a body bad, or beaten to the ground and picked up by an ambulance.

I remember walking home from town drunk with my friend, under-aged, singing from the top of our lungs, without a single thought of safety. About a month later; on that same route we walked home; a 40 year old male was killed. That’s when things hit home; it could have been us. I’d say that between my friends and I, we’ve had more than nine lives and it’s time we started to value them a whole lot more.

If you go out Friday and Saturday night each weekend and walk home or drive drunk then that is over 100 times a year you risk your one life (not nine) and you never know when your luck is going to run out.

Between us there have been some lucky misses, with car crashes where the driver could have been killed, friends being beaten and then hospitalised, and thankfully none of us have died from our stupid, drunken decisions. Others are not so lucky. Issue 10 15 May 2006

I need you to do something for me; next time you are out drinking; take the night bus home for a whole $2, or taxi, or go home with a (COMPLETELY) sober mate. I’m sorry to say that us students are not cats; we do not have nine lives. Life is short; don’t shorten it anymore! If you drink then walk; you’re a bloody idiot; literally.

Feature

Caught in the Net ...and killing time.

Danielle Thomson’s Top 5 ways to procrastinate online 1. POPCAP games… stupidly addictive, filled with bright colours and crazy game sounds. I spent a year at tech, mainly playing games on popcap. Offering over ten games and covering all bases including, puzzle and arcade games this site is dangerous when you’ve got things to do. My favourite games: Alchemy and Bejeweled 2, their 2006 versions of PAC MAN.

F www.popcap.com 2. TradeMe… I can’t afford to shop in town let alone online, but this is the most fun I’ve ever had window shopping. The craziest of things are online and being sold at the craziest of prices. My favourite is the music memorabilia and art work; although I’m temporarily taking a Trademe break in order to save some petrol money.

3. E Online….. Gossip, wonderfully addictive trivial gossip about people I don’t even know. If it’s a slow gossip day it can kinda dull but if Britney is up the duff, and someone’s getting divorced….

F www.eonline.com 4. It’s a little less exciting than games or gossip but it’s the best way to fill in time and keep up to date with more than just Britney and Madonna. co.nz

F www.nzherald.

5. Old Friends. In keeping with my nosey nature and love of gossip, I like to peruse through this site and see what people from back in the day are up to.

F www.oldfriends.co.nz

F www.trademe.co.nz

Nexus’ notes Feeling mindless and sadistic? Sure you are. Go shoot kittens http://www.richsalter.btinternet. co.uk/cks1/index.html Threadless.com is an easy timewaster, and you can spend hours deciding whether a design deserves a 0 or a 2. Ranking stuff is always fun. In a similar but more objectifying vein, there’s the good ol hotornot.com where you get to decide if people are basically decent kind individuals. Just kidding, you rate them on hotness. The scary thing is how recently most people have checked their scores. Art.com have a neat little artpad flash game that you can draw and share pictures with. A bit nicer than shooting kittens. Check it out at http://artpad.art.com/

Actual Helpful Uses For The Net – Top 5 BY D T

1. Last minute research!

2. Working away from home

The Encyclopedia has nothing on this baby. You can find out all about something with the bash of an enter button. Beware of – weird, wonderful or scary detours – I put in ‘menthol’ to see if you could overdose on cough lozenges and hit a site on female masturbation. Also beware of inadvertent plagiarism, cos you shouldn’t do that.

Or at home. Beware of – couches, snacks, swimming pools, lists of ways to procrastinate on the internet...

4. Email is dead handy

5. Buying stuff you actually need cheaper than in the shops

Beware of - Like mobile phones, email sometimes gets all wrapped up in its own cleverness and doesn’t work at all and you wish you’d just written a letter or called them on the phone or walked into the other office or something.

You just type it in and it appears in your letterbox! Beware of – buying stuff that’s actually more expensive than in the shops, and getting your credit card bill. Issue 10 15 May 2006

3. Stalking pe- I mean, finding people you need to contact Unless they’re called John Smith, your odds of finding at least some kind of lead are good. And you’ll probably find embarrassing photos of their award winning high school science project too, invaluable for blackmail. Beware of – people doing the same to you. Maybe you should have uploaded that ‘intimate’ movie under your neighbour’s name instead.

L O

“It’s a big

TF cyberworld

out there”

Nexus staffers reminisce about their old internet haunts—web sites, forums, chat rooms, you name it... The Internet made a big splash when it was first introduced to the public arena and so far, it’s popularity has been rising and rising steadly even 15-20 years after its inception. New technologies are being released daily, terabytes upon terabytes of data are screaming across the globe and for the most part, it’s transferring illegal downloads, porn and spam emails. So what’s the deal about internet communities? They’re places that people go to talk about specific topics, such as obscure Star Trek episodes, pimped-out and riced-up automobiles, the latest and greatest videogames. A very uneducated guess would say that 1 in 3 internet users have experienced an internet community in some way or another. Nexus takes a look at three websites dealing in such subject matter and also regales their own internet community experiences.

Livejournal.com

Livejournal is essentially that – a journal that is live on the internet. Livejournal has garnered a bit of a bad rap in being a space where “emo” kids write about how sad their life is. That’s only one part of Livejournal. Lots of people, not just emo kids, write about how sad their life is. Also, some others write about how good their life is. Livejournal allows you to add friends so you can keep tabs–er… read up on what they’ve been up to. Other essential internet community compulsories involve “communities” (duh) where you join up to a big list and can ramble and rant about a particular subject or whatnot. A good example is nz_artists where various New Zealand Livejournal members post pictures of their own art and discuss arty issues. An internet community is only as good as it allows communication, and Livejournal allows members (and anonymous viewers – if the particular Livejournal owner allows them) to leave comments on entries. It’s fairly basic compared to the behemoth such as Myspace, but what it does it does nicely and efficiently. And what that is, is allow you to have a small space on the internet to write about how sad your day was. Issue 10 15 May 2006

Feature Myspace.com “Do you want to add Satan to your Friends List?” Myspace.com is growing into one of the biggest websites that history has ever seen. What is it about you ask? You sign up and create a profile on you, basically. It is your own space to write about yourself. It is really quite narcissistic when you think about it. However, it hasn’t stopped over 77 million people worldwide joining up with the services it offers. Such services like a blog, games, forums, mail, event notifications, music videos, other videos, music (being in touch with bands and adding comments to a band’s profile is perhaps one of the biggest things Myspace has going for it). You add friends to your friends list—and they can add you too—and you can network together. That is Myspace at its heart—a networking and marketing tool. I mentioned bands profiles, and that is one half of Myspace’s pole position as a marketing tool to those 77 million people. People can add bands to their friends’ list, leave comments on a band’s website and listen to new tracks, demos and read journals from band members. It’s brought music much closer to its audience and Myspace is only just heating up. It’s also a great tool for discovering bands and also being discovered. The Myspace music player is a great tool and makes being introduced to a new band by listening to their material then and there so much easier. For all its positives, Myspace really is one ugly and an almost-impossible website to navigate for first time users. I initially didn’t sign up because I detested its navigation so much. The ads are also atrocious and anyone who is already familiar with Myspace will probably understand the reference when I say “Whaaaat?”. Terribly designed flash ads barking at you; I think Myspace got the tip and so far hasn’t displayed anymore ads of that ilk. Myspace is a successful waste of time on the interweb. Check out Nexus’ myspace at: www.myspace.com/nexusmagazine

Deviantart.com

Take Livejournal and add the ability to submit and view art. Deviantart also has forums and various other things that enhance the feeling of community more-so than Livejournal does. Deviantart regularly organise art and design competitions and have a “Daily Deviation” which spotlights a certain member’s

submission. Deviantart allows you to create a site about you (a running theme with these certain websites) and you can fill in details about the various things you like. You have a journal at your disposal so you can write about how sad you are and most importantly, you have a space to upload your own pieces of art too. Deviantart is a handy tool for artists looking for criticism on their own art. However, you do need to wade through the pre-teen and teen comments of “lyke omg that is soooo cooooool!!!1” and other various things but if you have some trusted friends who are

You sign up and create a profile on you, basically. It is your own space to write about yourself. It is really quite narcissistic when you think about it. “watching” you (being “watched” means they will be notified if you ever post a piece of art or a journal entry) then generally they should be a bit more reliable to offer some constructive criticism on your personal pieces. There’s an extensive array of genres, styles, and tastes in Deviantart’s gallery. You can be looking at anything from 3D generated graffiti works to fetish photography (to all who may be paranoid, there are mature filters on the site so it keeps the nasties away from the kids) to beautifully painted digital works. Deviantart’s submissions range from the inanely retarded to the painstakingly beautiful. All in all, it is what you make of it. I don’t Issue 10 15 May 2006

invest much energy into it but if someone did, it would certainly be a great place to hang out.

Internet Communities I have known – Nexus Staffers get Nostalgic Dawn My family first got online about ’95, impressive given that we lived in a housetruck. It involved cables stretching through long-suffering peoples’ windows, was crazily slow and cost $8 an hour. What do you do when you first meet the internet? You find stuff you like, and people that like the stuff you like. And an internet community is born. It’s a bit personal, looking back – very revealing of geek tendencies. I have fond memories of the Sev Trek universe, www. sev.com.au, and wanted to be John Cook. It combined a healthily humorous approach to Star Trek with cartooning and the drama of competition – how could it not be a winner? There was one exciting occasion when my dad won the punchline competition, largely through my badgering in the IRC judging session. Ah, memories. Nowadays it all looks rather professional. Adam’s Catatonia Page, in beautiful banana yellow, was another regular haunt, although there’s not much there now http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~durandal/ catatonia/. Probably inevitable, given that the band split up in 2001. But before that I was quite at home there, debating all things Catatonia and getting to know people I would end up emailing for years, trading rare CDs with and even putting up on their trip to NZ (hi, Joop). I have met quite a few online people in person, and had no negative experiences. I’ve kept in touch with a few of these individuals. But proper submersion into internet communities was more of a teenage trend for me. If you’re 16 and have half a year to kill, time seems to be more flexible. Today I’m more likely to treasure my leisure time and spend it in other places than the computer. Current regular groups I visit? Ontri.net for positive support in triathlon training, and it doubles as an exercise log. Htown.co.nz is good for keeping up with music happenings. Threadless is fun for a browse. But nothing online quite absorbs me to the same degree as it did 6 years ago.

Matt

Feature My first real interaction with an internet community was one involved with a 2D fighting game engine where you could make your own characters and backgrounds, and essentially, whole game. I spent a couple years devoted to the community, going up in “perceived” ranks with releasing characters, add-ons and so forth, even pioneering a few things along the way. Ultimately, the constant infighting and bickering made me develop a foul taste for this particular community and I eventually just gave up going back to the forum and chat rooms. During a certain part of my life, I decided to break out of my own self-induced real-life social avoidance and start up a club on one of my strong interests of the time – Japanese animation and comics. It turned out to be a turning point in my life, meeting many friends online and then eventually getting together and watching movies and shows, reading comics and playing video games. I’d always wanted internet friends that I could hang out with in real life and what better way than by joining, or starting, one based in your home town? It was great and I’m still in touch with some of those friends who I made during those times. Later on, I supplemented my NZ based internet/real life community with a new internet community, made up of primarily those overseas, devoted to talking about Japanese import games and various homemade games. It is a great site (insertcredit.com) and an interesting and eclectic mix of personalities. Again though, I grew distant from the discussion and people – perhaps my feelings of inadequacy in not being so ‘up with the play’ (so to speak) on all the past, present and future games they’d rant and drool about. I guess it was not just the inadequacy, but more of the fact that I was interested in this stuff but didn’t want to talk so long-windedly and ass-wankery about it. But like I said, I enjoyed the people but just didn’t quite feel like I belonged. Of course, it didn’t stop me posting over 1,000 messages to the forum… Nowadays I waste most of my time on htown.co.nz. To be honest, it’s a drab little shit-stain of a community but it’s one that is very close to me at this present time. I was growing tired of most Japanese animation by then and didn’t feel so spirited to go to meetings and so on an so forth. However, now that I had gained social skills I was adventurous and eager to meet new people and finally explore the avenue of learning

and performing music that I had wanted to do for so long. I joined up on htown.co.nz, met lots of interesting personalities, went to lots of shows and had a blast. I’m still having a blast. A lot of the guff on htown can come off as pretentious and asshole-like but if you observe your own dialogue with friends you find that generally you muck around and say things that shouldn’t be taken seriously. I can see how this community can become quite insular and seem strange and even immature—it’s something every community I have been in has done, what with creating their own ‘memes’ (common signs, symbols, sayings, etc. recognised within a group of people). It’s all for fun and I’m enjoying it.

Josh

My internet use began somewhere around the 1999 mark, when I convinced my dad to get Xtra along with a brand new Hewlett Packard beast with a then-gigantic 10gigabytes of hard disk space. Previous excursions on the

We found porn, all right. So did my friends’ parents, inconveniently. information superhighway had been, more or less exclusively, porn-hunting at the houses of Web-endowed mate’s places. We found porn, all right. So did my friends’ parents, inconveniently. We didn’t know how to clear a history back then. We soon learned. Once I had the net for myself, I found myself underwhelmed. I couldn’t figure out what the fuss was about. The thing cost us some $60 per month for dial-up back then and I didn’t know what the hell to do with it. Did you play games on it? Could it play music? The computers were full of hype about the “information superhighway,” coming to New Zealand at the time, but all I could see was a way to get news slightly faster and hopelessly slow-downloading pornography. There were chatrooms, but we never progressed beyond A/S/L and “wanna cyber?” This gambit often worked, and we laughed ourselves stupid at the exchanges that followed with the likes of “HotBritney_69.” DragonBall Z came and every dork at my high school was an instant addict. Looking Issue 10 15 May 2006

back, I shudder at how I could recollect episodes perfectly, down to the smallest snippet of inane dialogue and the least of Goku’s grunts, but at the time it was meat and ever-so-slightly homoerotic drink to me. The internet soon proved fuel for my anime addiction, as I found that there were millions of other retards with monikers like “Super_ Saiyan_Vegetto99,” I had found my first internet community. I left said internet community after a few dalliances with that interweb hydra, the Forum. I soon learned that people who post to forums are all pretty much obsessive idiots with too much time on their hands. Well, everyone who frequents DragonBall Z forums, anyway. I found something better to do. Napster. My first experiences with Napster bordered on the religious. I had recently lost my afterschool cleaning job due to my DBZ addiction (really), and I never had any money for CDs. So finding a place that offered free music, all the music I could ever want, was something of a boon. I soon went nuts downloading music, tying up the phone lines for hours trying to get MP3’s through our shitty dial up. The first song I downloaded was the Limp Bizkit cover of the “Mission Impossible” song. It was the start of a beautiful relationship. Not with Limp Bizkit, though. I went off them a bit after a while. Then the announcement came that the record companies were going to shut down Napster. I freaked out. I threw myself into the internet communities Napster had built, campaigning like mad. I posted to forums, I signed online petitions. I spent long hours downloading songs like mad. I didn’t know or care that it was illegal. The internet had sparked off a real, genuine love of music. The record companies were the bad guys, and they could go fish. Needless to say, Napster got shut down and I lost my internet community. I’ve never really had another one, and I don’t really miss them, in all honesty. I still surf the web plenty, and I even have a MySpace page that I put up purely to be a smartass. The closest thing to an internet community that I use these days is TradeMe. Except… around the releases of Harry Potter books, I tend to turn into a forum hound, devouring all the latest theories on JK Rowling’s newest tome. But that’s another, creepier story, and I don’t intend to tell it to anyone, ever.

OMGWTF? It’s the Nexus web site guide d00ds!!!1!! BY DANIEL WOODFIELD

Ever had strange thoughts of wanting to go outside and play because the internet no longer entertains you? Looking for something funny to distract you from study? Or just been pwned by a CT with the scout on cs_italy and looking for something to cheer you up? Well here it is: the Nexus web site guide brings you some of the most entertaining pages on the net.

pedophile. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse. net/c.cgi?u=spot_the_pedo

Pure Pwnage – hilarious shenanigans of gaming addicts www.purepwnage.com

www.thebestpageintheuniverse.com

A video series dealing with the life of Jeremy, an RTS obsessed gamer, and his strange and even more obsessed friends. (don’t know what RTS means, n00bs? Real time strategy, games like Command and Conquer, and Warcraft, duuuuh) Brilliant show, although regular people may not get all of the jokes. This show will have you running round town yelling Boom! Headshot!

Maddox is one very angry person. Basically, if it’s popular, trendy or cool, Maddox is bound to have slandered it. Dealing to issues such as good wholesome parenting, the popularity of U2, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Maddox is good wholesome fun providing you don’t offend too easily. Has declined a bit recently in the frequency of new material, but that only bothers those who have read it all.

Time wasting: 4. You have to download the episodes, so doesn’t provide instant gratiﬁcation, unless you have an uberl33t T3 connection. Geek factor: 9. If you have ever thought that computer gamers are weird, here is proof. If you are a gamer, this is proof that pwning can get you famous. Comedy: 7. A lot funnier if you are a gamer yourself.

Time wasting: 8. This site is text heavy, so a really good way to pass those hours at work or in the middle of a computer lab. G33k factor: 4. The humor here does have broad appeal. Comedy: 8. LMFAO funny, providing you aren’t a trendy emo who owns an iPod, or a woman.

Best of the site – Episode 5 - M8s. http://www.purepwnage.com/episodes. html

Maddox – one of the angriest people on the internet

Best of the site – How to spot a

Bash.org – I can’t believe somebody said that! www.bash.org

A collection of submitted quotes from IRC. Some people have said some pretty funny Issue 10 15 May 2006

shit from time to time on IRC (Internet Relay Chat, n00bs, way cooler than your MSN or ICQ), and a lot of it is here. Has become a bit run down of late, but the highly rated classics are absolute gold. Time wasting: 6. Reading though the high rated quotes is very good, but there’s a lot of trash on there too. Kind of like sifting for patches in a sea of malware. Geek factor: 6. Some jokes with broad appeal, some only a true geek will get. Comedy factor: 6. Some really LMAO moments, some moments of wondering why somebody bothered submitting their trashy contribution. Best of the site – Top 100 http://bash.org/?top

Uncyclopedia – the content free encyclopedia www.uncyclopedia.org

IF you use Wikipedia and are looking for a better alternative, don’t come here. A wiki style site, with hoards of parody entries, Oscar Wilde quotes, and arguments over whether Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer would win in a ﬁght. Highly addictive entertainment, and you can even help spread the lies and disinformation yourself by writing your own fact free article. Time wasting: 10. You can loose a whole day here if you don’t have any CS Source tourneys to attend. Geek factor: 7. Covers a fair amount of topics, but still feels geek at heart with all the random pop culture references and

Feature

parody. Comedy factor: 10. OMGLOLROFLMALFO.

a lascivious fruit juice maker. Brilliant for ongoing jokes.

Best of the site – split between: Kitten Hufﬁng, http://uncyclopedia.org/ wiki/Kitten_hufﬁng and Helengrad http://uncyclopedia.org/ wiki/Helengrad

Time wasting: 9. The archive is stocked with comics, and the search function is good for seeing a game you love being slandered. Geek Factor: 10. Little else is dealt with other than computer gaming and industry jokes. Comedy factor: 9. Funny, providing you get it.

Fark – Hilarious news collection www.fark.com

A site consisting of links to some of the strangest news stories on real news websites. Neatly marked so you know what type of humor you will be getting. Frequently updated so there is always something new here.

Best of the site – Dr Feelgood http://www.penny -arcade.com/ comic/2006/04/12

Thinkgeek – Neeeegh! I wish I had one of those www.thinkgeek.com

Time wasting: 8. Provides good ongoing entertainment as the site updates often. Geek factor: 3. Not very geek at all, but is deﬁnitely worth a mention for its sheer time wasting ability when you get bored with the usual stuff on the net. Comedy factor: 9. Just like a Red Alert server cycling though a 1001 map pack, it provides you something new every time you log on and 99% of it is gold.

Penny Arcade – not for critics www.penny-arcade.com

Web comic and news rantings dealing with the lives of gamers Gabe and Tycho. The comic is usually taking the piss out of movies, games, and those who create them. A broad range of additional characters, such as DivX, the alcoholic DVD player, Twisp and Catsby, strange humorous additions, and the Fruit Fucker,

Online store with thousands of brilliant little gadgets that every true geek wished he owned. Some amazing tools and toys, and some totally pointless creations that still make you want to sell your soul on TradeMe so you can have them. Time wasting: 6. Would be a lot more fun and time consuming with somebody else’s credit card. Geek Factor: 10. It doesn’t get more l33t than this. Most n00bs can still appreciate the uber toys on this site though. Comedy factor: 4. Funny cause you wonder who gets paid to come up with this, and who would actually pay for it. Best of the site – TV-B-Gone http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/ electronic/755e/ Issue 10 15 May 2006

Nexus also recommends... Strongbad - He’s like totally super-cool www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail. html You either get it or you don’t. It’s not that obscure to understand, infact, it’s more of the sense of humour and ridiculousness about it that some people I’ve shown it to don’t quite get. Either way, it is one funny website and the animations are of a high quality. Plenty of stuff to look through and enjoy. Time wasting: 8. When you’re hooked, you’re hooked. You’ll ﬁnd you’ll go through the whole archive of emails that Strongbad replys to in his witty and hilarious ways. Geek factor: 4. Accessible to most, completely obscure to few. You don’t need to know about the latest games or news to get it. Comedy factor: 7. Like I said before, the sense of humour has to appeal. It’s crazy, kooky, not in anyways spooky, but good for a light-hearted laugh at Strongbad and friends. Best of the site - Trogdor the Burninator http://www.homestarrunner.com/ sbemail58.html Also check out Teen Girl Squad for a great parody of teenage American girls: http://www.homestarrunner.com/ tgsmenu.html

Columns

Getting a licence, be it restricted or full, is really pretty easy. All you have to do is drive, keeping your speed within 5 km/ h below the speed limit, and checking your mirrors every 10 seconds.

You’d think that if someone has a car, then they’d know how to drive. Surprisingly this appears to not always be the case. Next to everyone that has their restricted or full licence that I’ve spoken to has had a car crash where they were at fault. Stories of running into the sides of cars, up the back of cars, backing into cars out of driveways etc. Part of the problem is the perception of driving. It’s another one of those things that people take for granted. People see it as; Get a car, get a licence, go and drive. Each of these stages of perception has its issues associated with it, and accordingly that’s what I’m going to write about this week. I mean, just the other night I went to see the Bleeders play at the Meteor, and it reminded me just how much I hate being a passenger. Aside from the fact that I was one of four people jammed in the back, the hard stopping when it turns out you actually have to give way at a roundabout, and then running over the roundabout because the driver in question got their turning radius wrong, well I just didn’t like it. Getting a car is the first step in becoming a qualified driver; without it, you can’t learn to drive. Arguably you could say that getting a learner licence is the first step, but that’s just reciting road rules and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to do that, its all just common sense stuff. So, people go out and buy a car. There’s pretty much two divisions of people buying cars; those who get a cheap little shitbox that they can learn the skills of driving in, without the fancy ABS, auto-choke and other things that make it easier to drive. Then there are the people that have too much money for their own good, and get a car that has low kms and a late-ish year, then ponce on about how good it is to everyone else. They learn to drive in something that takes all the skill away, all you have to do is push the pedals and turn the steering wheel in these ones. Then when the time comes that you need the right skills for a situation, they can’t do it and crash. Almost all my peers that I know drive have had a car crash, and with

the oldest only being 19, that’s just ridiculous. But worse than this is the social perception that “it’s ok, everyone crashes at least once”. What the fuck? I mean, seriously. How can people tell me with a grin that they crashed into the side of someone and had to pay a grand for the insurance premium, and how their car was so totaled in the front and that the chassis bent and stuff. Or how they were backing out of someone’s driveway and they wanted to get the hell out of there so they floored it and hit some parked car, completely fucking it up, then just drove off and left it, then spent five hundred odd bucks fixing it. How can you tell someone that and keep your dignity? It’s a bit different if it’s not your fault. Like, I’ve had two crashes, one where someone crashed into the back of my car at a roundabout, and another when some stupid learner driver hit the side of my car. Neither were my fault, and neither could really be avoided. Getting a licence, be it restricted or full, is really pretty easy. All you have to do is drive, keeping your speed within 5 km/h below the speed limit, and checking your mirrors every 10 seconds. The only real difference is that the R test goes for 20 minutes and the F test goes for 60. Sure they test you on your ability to do the everyday stuff, and that’s good, but they never test you on the things that require skill. They never get someone to pull out in front of you so you have to heavy brake, or test your ability to cope with skidding out on a tight corner, or driver control going through roads like the Kaimais, where of course there were the recent fatalities. It covers some but not all of what a driver needs to be able to do, and that really needs to be addressed. I’m sure that the biggest problem is that people just take driving for granted. The belief that turning the steering wheel will turn the car is far too common. I’d like to see the day when people realise that turning the steering wheel will turn the wheels, and how much the wheels will grab the road depends on the road surface, and that ultimately determines how the car will turn the corner. Pushing the accelerator doesn’t make the car move; it lets more fuel get to the motor which creates more torque and makes the motor turn faster, which results in the car moving forward. A good driver understands the system of a car, not just the end effects. Think about that one for a while.

Issue 11 22 May 2006

“The Second Oldest Profession”

Politics

BY CHRIS GRENFELL

Being a Police Officer is not an easy job. The police are charged with upholding the law and protecting society from society. When we saw a man on the ground who was handcuffed and no posing a great threat to anybody being pepper sprayed, most people thought – ummm…is that really necessary? This is probably the same thing that Stephen Wallace’s family thought when he was gunned down in Waitara for brandishing a golf-club. The police have clear guidelines to use when deciding the level of force they are going to use. Guidelines are brilliant things - they set out a set of circumstances and provide what needs to be done in that situation. Of course guidelines are only as good as long as they are followed.

For people who believe the police are as white as snow, just remember that police are people who are at the coal face of crime. How often have we watched a crime movie and the bad guy gets a little rough treatment in the cells and we think – do the crime then…well, get roughed up a little. The police are there in real life with the perverts, fools, idiots, drunkards and MPs that do stuff that, in a movie, would justify the ‘good guy’ punching them. Of course in real life this is not acceptable. Perhaps videotaping common areas where Police brutality could take place might reduce the likelihood of abuse and of course protect the officers when abuse is claimed. Of course the cynics might just say that this would make the police better at hiding the abuse…‘stump cam’ in the station phone book?

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes. [Who will police the police?] Latin proverb

News in Briefs The United State of the National Party

they thought they could make some cash from this with a juicy exclusive?

The Don Brash is still trying to shake off rumour, innuendo and outright claims that the National Party is reliant on advice and assistance from the United States. Trevor Mallard has gone as far as calling Mr Brash a liar after he made a statement that no Americans assisted on the campaign last year. Apparently an email has been leaked showing that some Republicans from the US were to meet with the National Party.

“I love the smell of Pepper Spray in the Morning” In Parliament MP Hone Harawira asked if there had been any reports of police being assaulted by “people lying flat on their backs on the ground with their hands behind their backs in handcuffs?”. The answer was apparently, no.

Plumbing The plumbing at the Beehive has been of major concern lately. One major leak has been identified and the person that caused the leak must be a bit worried by now.

Free – and looking to cash in? While not political news and possibly by the time of publication, not topical news, but it was interesting to note that the men caught in the Australian mine are yet to give a media interview. Is it possible that while laying trapped in a collapsed mine shaft that Issue 11 22 May 2006

Band Interview

1QA

On Groupies, Freemasons and Australia BY M EMERY

1QA (former Wellington band, now Melbourne band) are hitting New Zealand with a hasto presto tour. Luckily for you, they’re taking in a date at Sohl bar this Friday with Aucklanders The Shaky Hands and locals The New Caledonia. These guys play an exciting take on modern rock and I’ll stake my ex flatmates’ lives on this show being fantastic. I gave guitarist/voxman Jono some questions to fill us in on what to expect…

Are any members of 1QA, alcoholic, agrophobic, fondlers, racists or a member of the Freemasons? I’ve suspected Alex to maybe be a member of the Freemasons or even an illuminati, he’s always out somewhere and doesn’t tend to divulge much info on his travels. I myself have a possible new addiction to whiskey and I think Josh has jumped on the same wagon with me. Phil is a recovering narcoleptic, he’s going to be fine though.

How did 1QA form? 3 of us went to school together and messed around experimenting with the chemicals in the science lab. The fourth came along about 3 years ago from a concoction kept in a bottle of whiskey that one of us had kept in the freezer for 2 years and had exploded. The result was a new drummer.

What has been a highlight gig for 1QA so far? Playing in Adelaide is always a great gig. Adelaide has some fantastic people and its own Adelaidian sound. We are always happy to play there and always get a great response. Josh also throws his insides out his mouth sometimes there. It’s interesting for us to watch.

Where did the name 1QA come from? Have you noticed the relation to 1QA and when you type it on a keyboard? How each new character is directly under the last? That has nothing really to do with where it came from. Who is the weakest link in 1QA? I think it’s more ‘what’ is the weakest link. $1 pots at the Town Hall on a Monday night .... whoever gets there first becomes the weakest link. What can Hamilton audiences expect from a 1QA show? They can expect to see one of the best bands that I’ve ever seen, The New Caledonia! They are a very beautiful band. They can expect to see us play our hearts out and know that we are very honoured to be playing back in NZ and in Hamilton. Who gets the most groupies in 1QA? Alex.

The last time we came back to NZ was great too, to see that a lot of people were interested in what we were up to and very supportive. It’s nice to come ‘home’ and see that people are excited to see you. Do you guys ever regret moving to Australia? It’s awesome over here! So much to do and keep you active in band and in life. It’s the biggest continent on earth! Melbourne gets all the touring acts so we get to constantly see bands and artists that keep skipping NZ. The pay is better over here for work. And its Australia, the girls are hot and show it. It’s fucking great. I probably would’ve hung myself if I had stayed in Wellington for any longer. I had completely exhausted all the possible inspiration for that period of my life. How can you expect to grow musically and mentally if you haven’t experienced anything different? Moving as a band Issue 10 15 May 2006

and removing ourselves from all that was comfortable brought us closer and allowed us to get way better musically. Further Clarification from Jono: Just realised that Australia isn’t the largest Continent. That’s Asia. Let’s just say it’s a hell of a lot bigger than NZ. Which NZ band deserve to die in a plane crash? WELL!... Seeing as we are about to jump on a plane, I might not name anyone and give myself bad luck. But if we do die in this plane trip I hope the person that you asked this same question too, and who named US, is happy. What does the future hold for 1QA? We are about to finish our first Album titled Go Acid! which will hopefully be used for good things. We should have some album tasters that you can get from us when we stop through. There has been talk of possible travels to the UK, Asia, Canada and the States so I foresee the future just being busy and us all getting very unhealthy. You can keep up to date on myspace.com/1QA. For myself this little affair with that girl named Whiskey may limit my actual perception of how long my future is...

1QA play Sohl this Friday, along with The Shaky Hands and The New Caledonia. Listen to some samples of 1QA’s music and a music video on their website at:

www.1qa.com

GIG GUIDE If you are aware of any interesting gigs or other events happening around town, don’t hesitate to notify us at nexus@ waikato.ac.nz. All gigs are listed for free! Auckland gigs and goingons are noted with this symbol:

Monday May 15th WSU NZ Music Month Celebrations – lunchtime busking at the banks

Tuesday May 16th WSU NZMM – lunchtime busking at the banks If you are interested in previewing new music by awesome bands head along to the Eavesdrop Listening Party at The Wine Cellar (St Kevin’s Arcade, K Rd, Auckland) from 7-11pm.

Gallery on Collingwood St Accumulations by Dan Arps looks at language and its relationship to the things that language describes. Gallery open Tues-Fri 12-4, closed Mondays. Jam Night is happening every Wednesday from 9:30pm till late. Guitars, mics, and drum kit provided, so gather up as much talent as you can muster, and join the Rinky Dinks in another year of mayhem. Drink specials and spot prizes to be announced at opening night. Fat Bellies, Hood Street, Hamilton. Zebra Jazz band Zebra play at The Cook, Cook Street, Hamilton East every Wednesday night from 8pm.

Hamilton Film Society meets at 8pm every Tuesday at Victoria Cinema. Intending members can sign up on screening nights or call Andrea Haines on 839-5932. Student subscriptions are $85 full year or $45 half year. 3-screening Flexi tickets are also available for $25.

Streetwise Scarlet Pop punk bands Streetwise Scarlet, Mumsdollar and Quarter2 are playing at the Kings Arms, Princes Street, Auckland. $8. A

WSU NZMM – Funk Village plays at the Banks, lunchtime.

Ramp

Friday May 19th WSU NZMM – World Battle Of The Bands winners Chuganaut play at the Banks, and then later on at Don Llewellyns. 1QA (Melbourne—Check out their interview on the opposite page) are playing with The New Caledonia and The Shaky Hands at Sohl Bar, Hamilton. Show starts at 10.30 and will cost $10 The Un-Sheep, 80s Jacket Club, The Pink Fluffy Islands, The Incident, DH-DF-Ds @ Ellen Melville Hall, Auckland (AA) The Moggs (U.S) are joined by Teenwolf to play at, Ward Lane, Hamilton. It’ll be fun sexy party times for all of those involved!

Wish For Wings, Antagonist, Second Theory, Fever Lake, Cold By Winter @ King’s Arms Tavern, Auckland (R18)

The WBC are playing with punk-rockers The Rabble at Vesbar (AUT), Auckland 8pm, free (R18)

Punk rockers The Rabble are playing with the Suicide Dogs and Badtown at 4:20, Auckland 8pm (R18)

“So You Think You Can Dance To Meatbix?” Meatbix are a hardcore band from Auckland. Their frontwoman Erika is amazing! I highly recommend going to see them at the Schooner Tavern, 8.30pm.

The Moggs (San Francisico) are playing with one of my personal favourite bands

Saturday May 20th Bands With Girls A celebration of female involvement in local bands at Upsett Records, featuring pop icons Dynamo Go, those punk -ass punks Peace Skank Inquiry and more. The venue is all ages and the show will cost around $10. Wish For Wings, Antagonist, Capone, Damaged and Suicide Dogs are playing at the Ellen Melville Hall, Auckland (AA) A

Cold By Winter, The Rabble, The Managers, My Life Story and Tomorrow Comes In Silence are playing an all-ages show at the Grey Lynn Library Hall, Auckland 7pm $10 A

WSU NZMM – busking at the banks

Thursday May 18th

May 17 – June 2 Art exhibition

Teenwolf and The Blunts at the Schooner Tavern in Auckland

Hardcore bands Wish For Wings, Antagonist, Every Man For Himself, Ryan Rocks It and The Warpath are playing Upsett Records, Hamilton. $12 Entry, all ages show. Brutal Metalcore from Australia with a mix of Hamilton finest.

Wednesday May 17th

COMPILED BY MAZZY

1QA (Melbourne) are playing with rock’n’rollers The Shaky Hands and post-punk nerd-core band Malenky Robot at the Schooner Tavern, Auckland. A

Whispers From Heaven An Evening of Clairvoyance with International British Medium Violet Tasker, advertised as being at ‘Sky City’ in Hamilton from 7-9pm. A donation to www.saferkids.co.nz will be donated from each ticket sold.

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Sunday May 21st Story of the Year + more at the St. James, Auckland 8pm (AA) A

Sunday Undressed At the Kings Arms, Auckland. The show starts at 3pm and costs $4.00. All proceeds go to the performers. A

WSU PRESIDENT BY SEHAI ORGAD

place down at the village green, and will be consistent throughout the month of May.

Kia ora all, I hope you are all well, warm, and unfortunately probably working far too hard with study and assignments! An event that WSU is organizing at the moment to try to ease your tension of study is the celebration and promotion of New Zealand Music Month. The WSU have arranged a number of performances by New Zealand bands, both local and national, for your viewing pleasure. Performances take

I have been involved in a number of discussions and planning sessions about the University’s direction, strategic plan, qualifications review and campus development plans. If you have any concerns or questions, or have heard rumors and basic negative talk about these types of meetings and conversations, please come and see me. As President, I have the knowledge and information first hand from the committees and management structures that are responsible for these

plans and developments. I pretty much live in the WSU building, every weekday 9-5, so I am not that hard to get hold of. However, if I do venture out, which I must admit I have a habit of doing in order to see all your beautiful faces every day, please make an appointment to see me and we can go over any issues that you may have. Ka kite ano

VICE PRESIDENT BY CARL GORDON

Examining the WSU Executive: On track, or off the rails? Popularity poll or serious analysis? How good a job does WSU’s Executive do? How can its performance be measured? By how often members submit their columns to Nexus on time? Or how often they produce written reports? Or how many Executive meetings they attend? Or how many hours they spend on WSU things? These are, broadly, quantitative measures. There are also qualitative measures, and generally these are more important. To what extent do Executive members strive to make WSU an organisation which serves WSU members, by: • adhering to the constitution, its aims and procedures? (Are there cases of poor procedure?) • following strict financial/budgetary protocols? (Has WSU’s budget been revised as a result of lower enrolments?)

tenancy, and budgetary problems, including hardship loans and grants?

• helping international students get the best deals with health insurance premiums, and with study problems?

• advocating for students in dispute with the University?

• providing relevant and accurate information on the issues facing WSU and the Uni?

• representing students’ interests to the University in an independent, informed and principled way, without simply following what the University administration wants?

If the WSU Executive is to be judged, it’s also on major issues and what it’s been doing about them.

• There’s a constitutional crisis after an April 12 OSM motion granted Te Ranga Ngaku $13,600 and some unspecified contractual arrangement. How do Executive members line up on this? What’s been done about it?

• assisting students with Study Link,

Issue 10 15 May 2006

• The University’s strategic and campus development plans have major flaws but there has been no public statement from WSU asking any hard questions, other than my columns in Nexus.

• NZUSA is undergoing its biggest strategic review in 20 years as a result of pressure from some WSU Executive members last year. There will be a workshop at July Conference (at Waikato University). What has the WSU Executive done about it this semester?

• WSU developed a draft Strategic Plan in 2004/2005. There’s been no debate about how to progress it.

• Voluntary Student Membership is an issue waiting to engulf WSU again, if it doesn’t get its house in order. In Australia, students’ associations will become voluntary by law on 1 July, and will be largely annihilated (so will services, and the universities will not be allowed to just take them over). This will be discussed at NZUSA’s July Conference. I’ll present a report.

MAORI STUDENTS’ OFFICER BY RENEE REWI Joyful, joyful, we all adore you… as the song goes. I am the bearer of wonderful news – the Komiti Awhina working party has finished the books at long last and has submitted them for auditing. Maori students should jump for joy as this process has been arduous heading to a more representative KA for the future. On behalf of the MSO and all the many followers of good intent – I congratulate Wi and the team for an outstanding effort. You all need to take a bow because through it all you have suffered abuse and innuendo that challenged your integrity, accountability, and transparency. It is not over for this group – the following needs to be completed before KA is incorporated again:

INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS’ OFFICER BY SONJA GRUEBMEJER Well, last week there was some confusion about the picture of our campaigns officer and equality and copyright and who is prettier etc. so this time, the picture shows BOTH of them, displaying a cheerful way of harmless entertainment for leisure time (which we did not actually have at the NZUSA conference where this picture was taken, so they got a slap on the wrist for this one).

• Audit completed; • Policies written to protect KA in the future using the recommendations from the audit; • KA business plan;

So what do you do in your leisure time, given the fact that we don’t have a children’s play area accessible on campus? Do you plan to travel? Of course, everyone plans to travel to the South Island to take some pictures of the alps, screw them up and later download them from some other travelblog to send them home.

• Free and fair elections of officers that are more representative of the seven schools where Maori students are learning, including Tauranga, and;

• Looking to KA’s future strategically to include representation on key committees, and receipt of funding in consultation with WSU.

Do you travel alone? I mean, it’s more fun, if you have someone to take pictures of you share experiences, ideas, … expenses (and hostel rooms). You know, I really don’t want to hook you up with some creep but I am quite sure that if you ask around a bit you will find people in your class who have wanted to go to Mt Ruapehu to re-enact the struggle of Frodo and Sam as well. And the good thing about planning a trip together is that it is more likely that you will actually do it. You could of course join a tramping club, but that’s kinda square.

Nexus Issue 9 saw an unfortunate printing of a letter that supposedly searched for information and yet purports to have found nothing on KA. This to me is not fact based on my Blurbs 1, 4, and 7 that cover all the information that this person required. I also add that at no time was I asked for any information by Gins, as probably this conversation would not be necessary. Email komitiawhina@waikato.ac.nz should you wish for anymore information, and I am also informed that this address can be found on the door.

If you want to go places, you could also go to the International Center and see if they’re offering cheap trips to popular places - they do this quite regularly. Or go there for tourist leaflets as they have heaps of them! PLUS you could hopefully find some people who have already gone to Mt Ruapehu and re-enacted the problems of that really really really ugly Orc who has issues tying his shoe properly (in minute 183 of the third movie). Maybe you just need to leave a note on the message board … or join a Lord of the Rings re-enacting Fanclub.

A very wise man once said, “EMOTION LEADS TO ACTION”, and in this vain let it lead you all to the mantra of your dreams. Soppy but you guys get the gist of the meaning.

I know, usually my blurbs are slightly longer but this weekend was the first weekend with my car back from the mechanic so I did not really sit at the computer writing eloquently assorted words into a highly intelligent context.

• Re-incorporation;

Ma te wa Have been driving around all weekend and will be getting my slap on the wrist for that by our Environmental Officer now. Issue 10 15 May 2006

WOMEN’S ISSUES OFFICER BY KIM ARMSTRONG I have been keeping a secret. At first I was embarrassed to reveal my secret but after much self analysis and soul searching, I have concluded that it is perfectly acceptable. What is my secret? Since the beginning of semester I have slowly relinquished my full time parenting responsibilities for part time! The first person to email me and tell me how their part time parenting experience is going will win a box of chocolates. This new arrangement is of course not for my own conveniences but is the preferred choice of my 4 year old son. I give my son choices because I believe the more he asserts his freedom of will the more decisive he will be, which is a great leadership quality. This only works for him if he has the maturity for it and doesn’t mean that he gets to over-ride my internal safety mechanism - more commonly known as maternal instincts. I always give every aspect of his life the quality assurance test. If you want to give your children more choices, start at the breakfast table. Ask them what they want for breakfast, what they want on their toast, orange juice or milo? I guess the key to getting them thinking proactively is just to make them aware of their alternatives.

WSU EXEC 2006

You fall into the part-time parent category if your child sleeps somewhere different from you on a regular basis. This could be

due to custody arrangements, school zones and work commitments or, in my case, lack of whanau support (baby-sitters) in my new city. I have recently relocated from Tauranga to Hamilton to finish the degree I started in Tauranga. After enduring the first few days of being just us my son declared he wanted out of our isolated relationship, he missed the comforts of home, my siblings, our parents, his cousins and most of all he missed his papa. And so he left me with this advice “don’t worry Mama you’ll be alright! If you get scared or lonely, go to the supermarket”. This would make sense if chocolate was the answer to all my problems. So I let him go and every night after I brush my teeth I think about the benefits of having so much more free time to study, but mostly I think about the emptiness and resent my new freedom. Another benefit is its powerful contraceptive capabilities. Most girls screen guys by the ‘is he good enough to meet my father?’ test, I do the ‘is he good enough to meet my son?’ test, among many others. If for whatever reason you find yourself faced with the choice of full-time or parttime parenting you must first consider the costs and benefits. First; will your child receive the same, better or worse level of care without you? Second; can you both survive without daily physical contact? Third; will getting your child back from his second home eventually become a major? And fourth; can your relationship with your child survive separation? After

you have the answers figured out, then the only thing left to do is fill in your spare time. This will reduce the urge to ring your child constantly thus making Telecom very happy, or jumping in your car and driving miles to see your child - thus defeating the purpose of questions 1-4. With 3 weeks of the semester left filling in time should be easy. Start reading over your course material now in preparation for exams. If you find you need extra help now is the best time to start looking for it. Don’t leave it till exams are on top of you. Talk to your lecturer or send them an email. They may arrange extra tutorial sessions. Start a study group by asking a few people in your classes if they want to study. Or contact your faculty’s Maori support person and ask them to send a blanket email to all Maori students to start a study group. Visit TLDU in the library. Don’t be shy every little bit of help helps. Finally if you need company and time out, visit the women’s space (if you are a woman). We now have free tea, coffee and milo courtesy of WSU and the Women’s Portfolio budget. It’s a great place to relax and unwind and talk to other women. Or you can visit me at the student union office where I sometimes hang out. I’ll take you for a free coffee! That’s all for today, don’t forget, free box of chocolates up for grabs! womens@wsu.org.nz

PRESIDENT

VICE-PRESIDENT

DISABILITIES OFFICER

INTERNATIONAL OFFICER

MATURE STUDENTS OFFICER

CAMPAIGNS OFFICER

Sehai Orgad

Carl Gordon

Jeff Hawks

Sonja Gruebmeyer

Vince Malcolm-Buchanan

Jade & Joseph

Issue 10 15 May 2006

S OFFICER

EDUCATION OFFICER

GLBT OFFICER

ENVIRONMENTAL OFFICER

MAORI STUDENT OFFICER

WOMEN’S RIGHTS OFFICER

Joseph

Andrew Pritchard

Megan Moffet

Frank Stubbing

Renee Rewi

Kim Armstrong

Issue 10 15 May 2006

TAURANGA OFFICER

Anthony Mckenna

GLBT OFFICER BY MEGAN MOFFET If you read my last blurb and followed the flow chart then you hopefully have found someone to ask out on a date. This is the point of biggest risk as you have to be very obvious, prepare yourself for rejection, it’s like job hunting. It’s not fair to ask casually as you can get misunderstandings that end badly. The location for a First Date is all important. Try for a fun casual setting, preferably with something to do or talk about. Mini golf with lunch at a nice café after could be good. Don’t go to a romantic restaurant or picnic by scenic setting at night as it sets the expectations too high. On the other side, don’t go to McDonalds or similar fast food joint, it’s just cheap.

Rules for a First Date - - - -

Don’t expect them to pay Don’t bring a gift – it isn’t that serious Don’t string them on if you’re not interested Do pay & if they offer tell them they can pay for the next date (if you want one) - Do find out about their opinions, interests and values - Do talk about yours (don’t go too in depth)

The big question of a first date is whether you want something more with this person or not. You can’t just like them, you need to have chemistry. A common error in queer relationships is mistaking friends for lovers. Just because you like their mind doesn’t mean you want them in your bed. Speaking of beds, that is not where you should end up. Yes, you little slapper restrain yourself. It might seem like a very good idea at the time, but keep the mystery a while longer. The time to sleep with them varies for all people but the ‘not on first date’ rule is pretty universal. I think it all depends on the person I am dating for me. You have just made lots of effort to ask this person to coffee and then out on a date. Now it is up to them. Make sure they have your number etc. Don’t be afraid to ask them to call/txt you, if they want to go out again they will. If they don’t, well some things just aren’t meant to be. See the Chart… Good Luck, after this point you are on your own. I hope everyone can find that special someone in their lives, but remember that being single is not a bad thing. If you don’t really like them, then don’t string them or yourself along. Disclaimer: This is only my ideas about dating and should not be taken as a full proof guide. Any heartbreak or embarrassment that results from following this blurb is not attributable to me in any way. I myself do not always follow all the rules.

Issue 10 15 May 2006

DISABLED STUDENTS’ ISSUES OFFICER BY JEFF HAWKES

Syndrome occurring in one in every 300 persons.” http://www.aspergers.co.nz/index.shtml

If one in 300 live with this, that’s 40 of us who live every day like Jen - http://www. aspergers.co.nz/insightAutistic.shtml Please, check that website and think about the ordeals others face in their everyday life, and handle really really well. In the face of adversity, the cloth from which we are cut becomes apparent - treat others as you would have them treat you. “It is now recognised that autism occurs in a variety of forms, e.g. High-Functioning Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome (sometimes called Asperger’s Disorder). Autism and related conditions can now be grouped under the term Autistic Spectrum Disorder (A.S.D.) They are relatively common, with Asperger’s

“Autism and Asperger Syndrome are examples of Developmental Disorders, that is, affecting a person’s development, making it delayed and/or uneven. Autism and Asperger Syndrome are also in the category of Neurological Disorders. Autism and Asperger Syndrome are present from birth, or, in some cases, seem to appear at a very young age, within the first three years of life. Although the exact genes have not yet been identified, it is now known that Autism and Asperger Syndrome have a genetic basis, as they often run in families. It is nowadays recognised that Autism consists of a group of related disorders which vary in severity. At one extreme is the very withdrawn

individual who can not communicate at all, and whose own private world seems unable to be penetrated by others. At the other end of the range are individuals who may be high functioning in some areas of life, and may even have areas of exceptional talent, but who also have some of the features of Autism which affect their functioning. The people at this end of the scale have either High-Functioning Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome, (also called Asperger Syndrome, or Asperger’s Disorder).” http://www.aspergers.co.nz/whatIsAsperger.shtml

Just a quick heads up on some of our impairments, know me before you judge me... disabilities@wsu.org.nz 0274960137

Notices Send your notices of 100 words or less to nexus@waikato.ac.nz, or drop into box at WSU reception. Deadline is 5pm Tues. Two rooms available in College Hall (university accommodation) only for female, full catered,$185 per week/single room including power.ph/txt 021 0644 908 or 021 0425 177. Two Gals wanting flat in Hamilton East: We are two easy-going 20yr old females wanting a flat in the Hamilton East, Hillcrest area. We are looking for flatmates that do food buying and cooking separately but are totally up for group chores and hanging out. Rent should be around $60-$80 plus expenses.etc. If you have a flat with two vacancies or want to possibly start up a flat with us contact me on 0210465689 or email me: gingergal53@ yahoo.co.nz Flatmate wanted to live with 2 dudes and 2 chicks in an outrageously blue house on Sheridan st. Walking distance to uni and shops. $115 per week, includes: power, food, phone and sky. ph. 858 3054 or

email icd1@waikato.ac.nz Flatmate Wanted. Avail. start of June. $90 + exp/per wk. New house. 4 flatties (2M & 2F) Sky, Broadband. Uni around the corner. ph 856 7226 txt 027 318 6966

Flatmate Wanted A flatmate is wanted for a six bedroom flat 2mins from uni. Rent $80/week + expenses. Big room, nice tidy house and good location! Contact Becks on 0274289549

Flatmate wanted: easy going flatmate wanted to share with two third year students - nice house and a good sized room that is walking distance to uni. $105 p/w which includes power. ph 856 6174 or 021 1252144

Campus Commuters Support Club For all who commute to campus from outside Hamilton and would like to meet others for possible car-pooling, ideas and support. Interested persons please contact jps6@waikato.ac.nz

Flatmate wanted: good size house 5 min drive to uni to live with 3 others (1f2m) reasonable room with own ensuite, new 3bdrm house 2 living rooms, broadband, double garage house furnished but room empty. $95 rent +power/phone. melville ph/txt 027 559 2966, email lwm4@ waikato.ac.nz

Do u rite yr sas like yr txting 2 yr m8s? 4gotn hw 2 spl?

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Editwrite will proofread your assignments and make sure your spelling and grammar are letter perfect. Visit us at www.editwrite.co.nz. When you write wrong, we right the wrongs.

Photos

ĂŚther

@ WSU Village Green, 10th May 2006 Photos by Petra Jane (petrajane.com)

Carl Watkins

@ WSU Village Green, 9th May 2006 Photos by Dawn

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Columns

The Graphics Editor pwning the Ed and News Ed at Singstar! Booyakasha!

There are some things that you just don’t do; I don’t care how much money is involved or how many peers are collectively issuing the dare, you’ve got to learn where to draw the line. Here are some examples: try asking your grandma Doris (the one with the heart condition) for her wedding ring so you can propose to a hooker called ‘Moonlight’, or the next time your girlfriend asks ‘do I look fat in this’, reply quickly and definitively - ‘absolutely’. These are obviously two very bad ideas. I’ve been watching a little bit of C4, and have noticed a lot of other very bad ideas too. Madonna has a couple of interesting music videos where she is squeezed into a leotard, and basically spends 3+ minutes gyrating her goodies right in front of the camera. I don’t mind this so much; if I was pushing the generous side of 40, had two children and still looked half as attractive, I’d flaunt it at every opportunity I got. This being said, when your music videos are more raunchy than stuff being cranked out by Snoop Dog, P Diddy, and my latest favorite TPain’s ‘I’m ‘n luv wit a stripper’, alarm bells start going off; I wonder if T-Pain has a grandma named Doris? There’s always constant debate about woman being unfairly objectified in music videos, but in my view, this argument is eroded pretty quickly by the likes of Madonna who seem to do this to themselves pretty much single handedly. I do think it is time for her to throw on some jeans and a shirt; otherwise she isn’t going to be able to use the ‘I was young and stupid when I did that’ exemption clause when her daughter hits the teenage years. The biggest peeve I have is T-H-to-tha-izzat tha demogrizzles of C4 beotaches is unda 20 n tha screen time of tha channel is monopolized by rap subcultizzles. I not sure which language tizzle rap in but it sure isn’t English so jus’ chill. I’ve obviously broken out mah English ta rap translator ta finish this paragraph in tha hood. Can you all imagine a generizzles of kids bust’n this shizzit out? How is we gonna communicate wit them? It’s enough ta encourage drive by shoot’ns. Shizzouts to www.gizoogle.com for da tranzilate. Trying to listening to stuff like that for any length of time is bound to melt your brain; images and themes aside. I tell you, there’s no hope for some people; especially when you consider how integrated music is in our lives. Stuff happening this week: Date: Sunday 21 May 2006 Time: 10:00 AM Location: Lake Hakanoa, Huntly Website: http://www.coolrunning.co.nz/races/huntlyhalf Enquiries to dudfield@xtra.co.nz Lots of prizes to be won, a great course for your first half marathon! Issue 10 15 May 2006

Columns

Winter

Letter to Matthew Ridge

I wake up now with blankets bundled tight around my head, like a taxi driver’s turban and my body tangled in duvet. Eddy the electric blanket is more often than not humming away on three… summer’s out and autumn is in, making way for the inevitable winter. I’ve begun hiding from the daylight and my piercing alarm by burying myself deeper in bed. I assure myself each day that the alarm will give up long before I do. But the alarm bleeps on and on and on…and the numbers continue to flick over, highlighting how much time has passed. Time refuses to stop for me these days, but I’m working on it. My arm goes numb, after I hug it close following my daily room temperature test - it’s always far too cold! Harold the heater will soon be roaring on six which is the highest of the high. When work (grrr) is on the agenda, or my presences is required at an early morning class (grrr grrr) I cautiously open my eyes three to five times before dragging myself from the warmth of my bed, generally shielding my eyes from the bright light. I now need to search for a jersey and my grandpa-ish slippers before going any further, and getting ready will halt completely unless my caffeine levels are replenished. Green Tea just doesn’t cut the mustard these (chilly) days. While the kettle makes its heavenly purring sound, I search for milk. Milk for the much needed coffee and porridge. I scan rather than hunt properly, as before 10am I will be a relatively lazy and possibly grumpy person, conversing only in grunts and mumbles. I will fall over trying to put my jeans on and will most definitely trip over shoes, textbooks, or the bodies of those who got in my way the following morning, on my bedroom floor. Before the coffee, porridge, and getting anywhere near the bathroom I need to wash down my vitamins. I scan my humble bedroom for water, between tripping over shoes (bodies) and marketing text books. My eyes glaze over as they spot the drink bottle. First I have a quick chat with the person up-stairs. “Please dear Lord… let it not be a mirage.” I’m far too tired (and possibly hung-over) to dig a well, search for a spring or go back down the hall to the kitchen.

Dear Mr Ridge,

Retraction In these crazy computer generated times things often get lost in translation. In an attempt to make things right I’d like to sincerely apologise to *Norry. The article which appeared in last weeks publication was meant to help a friend vent and let go and after much consultation we decided against submitting it to be printed. As these things often go, it was mistakenly published in last week’s Nexus. I again would like to apologise for this, and emphasize that this was a mistake entirely based on miscommunication and I am the only party to blame.

Please, please, please stop. You stopped being funny so long ago now it’s hard to remember when that was. Maybe you never were. These endless ‘reality shows’ involving you are getting out of hand. Reality shows very rarely work, and even less often when they involve B-Grade celebrities who can’t face the fact that their time being famous is up. Why can’t you be happy with being a successful sports star who extended his time in the spotlight and know when to call it quits? Are TVNZ really knocking down your door to make more brainless shows featuring you, or do you go to them on all fours and beg them to extend your fifteen minutes once again? But it’s not just you. A whole bunch of pathetic “celebrities” turn up again and again, with a slightly different twist to make their boring and unfunny anecdotes somehow seem hilarious and fresh. Anyone who still finds “Coxy” funny is a moron - no two ways about it. Coxy must be a pretty shit builder, as most builders would find the kind of work he does beneath them. Mike King used to be a really good comedian. What went wrong? What forced him to stoop to the low of being a celebrity used in poorly planned and poorly executed reality/game shows? But you, Mr. Ridge, you are the worst. There isn’t a show you won’t do or a place you won’t go to keep your ugly mug on TV for another week. If TVNZ suggested you and Marc Ellis get naked and glue yourselves together, you would do it. The sad thing is that the majority of idiotic morons that make up this country would probably watch, and laugh along with every “Aw mate” that made its way out of your worthless mouth. See there are three kinds of funny people in the world; Those who are naturally funny, those who put on an act to be funny and those who put on an act to pretend to be naturally funny. You are the last kind, the worst kind. The kind that gets really old, really fast. Well I won’t dignify your existence by watching you. Hopefully the other brainless idiots of this country will wake up as well. But I wouldn’t count on it. So you keep making your crap TV shows, and I will keep waiting for “Matthew and Marc’s Rocky Road to Retirement.” Thank You, Mr. Cage.

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Columns

‘Peace’ Reading about the approaching trial of more than 100 U.S armed forces staff, who have been accused of prisoner abuse in Afghanistan and Iraq, on nzherald.co.nz got me thinking about human rights and peace. Unlike many words ‘peace’ means basically the same to thing to everyone, but it is one of those vague and elusive concepts that everyone understands but no one can really define, the same goes for human rights. Perhaps it’s easier to say what ‘peace’ is not; it’s not war, or fighting, or terrorism, it’s not fear, anger or hatred, and it’s not abuse. Peace does not judge, and it does not discriminate. The word ‘peace’ has been in use in English since at least 1200 AD if not before, so why is the concept so hard to put into practice? It is my belief that it is due to in part (but not entirely) to prejudice. Why are the US armed forces staff said to have abused prisoners in Iraq and Afghanistan if not because they’re prejudiced towards them? The word ‘peace’ comes from Old French paix, which means ‘tranquility in relations between two or more individuals’. The Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘peace’ as ‘freedom from public unrest or disorder’ and ‘freedom from quarrels or dissension between individuals’. But it is more than that - in my view peace and human rights are inextricably linked. The Dalai Lama describes the relationship more eloquently than I ever could: ‘Peace, in the sense of the absence of war, is of little value to someone who is dying of hunger or cold. It will not remove the pain of torture inflicted on a prisoner of conscience. It does not comfort those who have lost their loved ones…Peace can only last where human rights are respected, where people are fed, and where individuals and nations are free.’ Peace cannot exist without the practice of, and respect for human rights. At the risk of giving a circular definition (which is something us word freaks must strive to avoid), human rights are the fundamental, basic rights of every human being. Or as the United Nations puts it, the ‘recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world’. My point in discussing peace this week was to attempt to explain what peace truly is because it is something that I believe is important not just at a global or national level, but at an individual level as well. It’s just as important to have peace in your community and respect human rights in your community as it is to do so at a global level. With many countries on the edge of war with each other, and with so many atrocities and violations of human rights being committed around the world currently, there is no better time to understand what ‘human rights’ and ‘peace’ truly mean.

No 1 : The Robot. Ever since the 2150s robots have surpassed man as the greatest dancing monkeys. But seriously folks - is there anything cooler than a Japanese women in her sixties dancing next to a robot? Er, no! No 2: When you think of great dancing, the image in your head surely resembles my no. 2 pick - just look at that fabulous shirt and the sexy hair. Ballroom will never die. Update: Ballroom dancing was found dead in a hotel room in Mexico. Copious amounts of nose candy and ass jacks were found at the scene. An overdose is presumed but the case is still open. No 3 : Dynamite. I’m not talkin’ ‘bout this fool, what you talkin’ ‘bout Willis?

Mystical! Omniscient! Mysterious! Futures told! But only if they are YES/NO questions—Got it? I cannot stress this point enough. If you’ve ever used an 8 ball then you know the deal, OK. Email 8ballknowsall@gmail.com with your YES/NO queries on life, the universe and everything. I forsee DOOM (2 – as in a sequel to the first atrocious movie) if you don’t send in any questions for me to answer! No? YES! When will we see caramel trumpets availiable for purchase? I need my fix. It’s been far to long. Please give me a good answer or I may need to hurt you! “Reply hazy, try again”. Heeey, I recognise you from the Lettuce section! I’m also stumped on this question because it is not a YES/NO question. Go to a toy store and ask them about their 8 balls and for an explanation on how they work! Yo 8 ball how does it feel to be a ball? “My reply is no”. It feels smooth, shiny and round – aside from that bit that kind of sinks in which is the window to my MYSTICAL POWERS OF FUTURE EVENTS BUT ONLY IF YOU ASK ME A YES/ NO QUESTION! Sheesh! I should have seen this coming...

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Columns

BY BURTON C. BOGAN

Wow, I sat staring at the computer screen for ages before starting to write this. And again before writing this sentence. For those of you who don’t know, 6ft Under’s last night was on Saturday the 7th of May. I’ve had a weird few weeks lately with things changing or threatening to change and to hear that the bar that I’ve been to every Saturday since it opened in mid 2004 is closing was a real shock. So as you can imagine, when you have a column of your own, there’s a temptation to ‘pour out my soul’, have a big fat cry on paper and then go off and listen to some Radiohead or develop an unhealthy relationship with Type O Negative or something. But while staring at the screen before starting to write this, I realized that’d just be kinda sad and not really what 6ft Under was all about (why go for the big fat cry when you go all zen philosophical?). I’ve lost count of the cool people I met there, the angry moshes I’ve started, the singa-longs I’ve had or the games of pool I’ve played. Where else could you stand in the middle of a bunch of people and scream ‘OUTBACK SUCKS’ at the top of your lungs? (Apart from at my house?) Besides, it’ll be back – or something similar will crop up. In the meantime. let’s have some beers and start some shit. So while it’s still sad and sux, it’s not the end of the world. So in light of this, I really wanna push for the idea of the University Metal Club. Like I said last week, give me an email at boganology@yahoo.co.nz and we’ll take it from there - see how many people we can get signed up, see what WSU chip in. It can be students or non-students so sign up any mates you’ve got too. And I’m warning you, I’m going to be heckling anyone I see around campus with a metal shirt on to join so you might as well. Now I can’t help but be a little melodramatic, I mean, given the music I listen to I can’t help it. So I thought I’d again let other people do my thinking for me (But in no way am I claiming that Phil Anselmo is smarter than me, as egotistical as that sounds!).

REVIEW BY C.J. How are ya? This is my first review in a while, I hope you like it. This week’s review is a special request by Gary. Enjoy. Def Leppard, a name any classic rock fan should know, and for good reason. These five men from Sheffield, England, were the highest selling rock band of the ‘80s. That’s awesome considering other bands such as Guns n Roses, Bon Jovi, AC/DC and U2 were all kickin’ ass at the time. And it’s easy to see why. Their music was definitely perfect for the ‘80s. Hysteria is Def Leppard’s most commercially successful album (19million sales worldwide), and my favourite. They started making this album in 1984, a good year all round, but suffered heaps of setbacks so the album wasn’t released ‘til 1987. During that time they changed producer 3 times, and their drummer, Rick Allen, lost his left arm when he crashed his Corvette into a concrete wall. Despite losing his arm he was determined to drum again, and drum he did, with the aid of a multi-pedal drum kit. What a legend. And when the album was finally released, fans and critics alike found out it was worth the wait. Just about all the tracks on Hysteria are awesome, but my favourite is definitely the title track. It’s a nice, laid-back sunny day kind of tune. My other favourite is ‘Animal’. It’s faster, and I like the guitar work on it. This is probably the most ‘‘80s’ of all the songs on Hysteria. And of course you can’t go past ‘Pour Some Sugar on Me’. This is Def Leppard’s most well known song, and for good reason. It totally kicks ass. The lyrics, the way Joe Elliot spits out the words, and the powerful drumming all combine to make this a wicked song. As well as hard rockin, these guys knew how to make a power ballad. And I love my power ballads. ‘Love Bites’ is one of the most romantic rock songs ever, you can just feel the emotion. Nice. 8.5/10

A quote from the last song to be played at 6ft:

Competition

The way we were The chance to save my soul And my concern is now in vain Believe the word I will unlock my door And pass the cemetery gates Guess I won’t see you at 6ft…see you at my place, fuckers!

The winner of last week’s prize is fraulein.maria@gmail.com. Enjoy your new Bob Dylan DVD. This week’s prize, courtesy of Radio Hauraki, is 050505, the latest album from Scottish legends Simple Minds. Question: In which ‘80s movie did Simple Mind’s song ‘Don’t You (forget about me)’ feature prominently? Email answer to cjw37@waikato.ac.nz

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Pink Door BY SOPHIE PORTER The fuchsia pink door smiled at me. How did I get here, unsure of who invited me? A thick cornflower blue envelope landed on the front mat with a thud. My curiosity piqued, at the same time I assumed it wasn’t for me. I prodded it with my bare toe, flipped it over. There was my name, scrawled in a shaky spidery hand across the front of the envelope. Scrawled in a hand that was almost familiar. Inside was a curious invitation, “you are cordially invited…” An anonymous dinner party invitation. I recognized the address but could not think who lived there. This is how I found myself her walking down the overgrown garden path to the fuchsia pink door of number 37. A sweet smoky scent blew out through the open windows. At the door I knocked three times. Silence. Then three knocks in reply. I knocked again. Again a knock in reply. Mirrored knocks. Unsure of what to do, I was about to turn and flee when there was a click-clicking of a lock and the door swung open. There was no one in sight. I tentatively stepped over the threshold. Out of nowhere appeared a short portly woman with red rimmed bright blue eyes. She took my wine, smiling at me like I was a long lost friend. She nodded and ushered me down the hall way. Where had I seen those eyes before? She motioned for me to go through a door on my right. I found myself in a poky little living room. There was an old

man sat on the sofa. It appeared he was asleep. His head nodding towards his chest, like the dogs you see in the back windows of cars. I cleared my throat softly and upon hearing me the old man looked up. His eyes were also blue, shot with silvery white. His wide mouth curled into a smile of recognition and he unfolded his long legs to stand. A decanter full of orange liquid glowed in the last ray of sun peeping in the window. He poured a generous measure into a crystal goblet and handed it to me. He motioned for me to sit. I chose a lumpy green chair in the corner. Inexplicably I trusted the old man right away. I knew him. I sat and drank. The amber liquid was cool, but it was like a fire slipping down my throat. A delightful fire deep inside. An unintentional smile slid slowly across my face in appreciation. My smile was mirrored by the old man, his eyes creasing at the corners. We sat in silence until I had finished the glass. My head started to nod, my eyes closing involuntarily. As I succumbed to sleep the last thing I saw was a tear falling from one of the old mans smiling blue and silver eyes. A beautiful dream overtook me almost at once, in which I was the old woman and lived behind the fuchsia door. I realised I was actually in the house with the fuchsia door, I fought to wake up. Forcing my way upwards through the layers of foggy inertia, I woke. In my bed. And in the moonlight on my windowsill a glow of orange in a familiar decanter glowed invitingly.

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Puzzles and things

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Comics

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Reviews

BOOKS 26.2 Marathon Stories

Candy

Katherine Switzer and Roger Robinson (Allen and Unwin) REVIEWED BY DAWN TUFFERY

Luke Davies (Allen & Unwin) REVIEWED BY MICHELLE COURSEY

‘To finish a marathon is to attain a small piece of immortality’ - 26.2 Marathon Stories ‘Competitive running is a metaphor for the unresting aspiration of the human spirit’ – Roger Robinson, quoted in 26.2 Marathon Stories. Ever thought about doing a marathon, but lack impetus? One approach would be to have a go at the Huntly Half Marathon on the 21st May as an intermediate goal (get your entry in by the 16th, incidentally). The more lazy option would be to read an inspirational book on the topic. 26.2 Marathon Stories covers an admirable range in its bite-sized segments, one for each mile of the marathon. There are sections on the history, the motivations, the souvenirs, the spectators, the heroes, the agony. The authors know what they’re talking about, which is a bonus. Katherine Switzer became famous after race organiser Jock Semple attempted to physically bowl her off the Boston Marathon course in 1967. At that time, Boston had a stringent ‘no women allowed!’ policy which Switzer had circumnavigated by using her initials on the entry form. The press happened to be right there and had a field day, and Switzer got suspended from the Amatuer Athletic Union for ‘running with men’. Women were finally allowed to run Boston in 1972, although it took another 12 years to make the Olympic marathon. Beautifully photographed, this book leans towards coffee table porn for distance runners rather than an extensive history or training guide, for instance. But what it does offer is a colourful tribute to marathons and the people that run them, from legendary barefoot Moroccan Abebe Bikila, to Ruth Rothfarb, who ran her first marathon at 81. On the downside, there have been comments that the book should have included New Zealand’s marathon champ and one-time world record holder Allison Roe. This is probably true, and there are a few omissions of that type. But the strength of Marathon Stories is as a grand and generalised overview of the marathon event. It’s eminently accessible, which is both positive – it can absorb and inspire non-runners, and negative – despite appreciating the great images, keen runners will be familiar with much of the information and want more details. Are you or someone you know aiming for the Auckland Marathon, or Rotorua 2007? This book is a pleasure to peruse and a great gift for aspiring marathoners, but just make sure you get them something like The Competitive Runner’s Handbook as well.

Drugs and sex are always a winning combination (I mean in books and ﬁlms, of course). Countless movies and books have drawn on the parallels of addiction to substances and the addictive qualities of intimacy. Candy is one such novel, written by an Australian author/poet, and falling under the category of ‘junkie’ stories. That is not to its disadvantage though. As a junkie story, it is moving and thought-provoking, and as it promises on the back cover, it made me understand what it is to be an addict. In fact, the depressing, constrictive atmosphere of the two junkies is evoked so well that I had to put it down occasionally to get some fresh air. I often found myself hoping along with them that they would manage to get their next hit before it all fell apart. And of course, like any junkie story, there are some hilarious moments that can only come from the ridiculous situations people get into when they are desperate and unbalanced. The poet in Davies comes out sometimes, describing the junkie’s world in a unique voice which is lyrical and full of wisdom. At these moments, the sadness of the novel becomes almost unbearable – life beyond heroin seems so dull that anything really would be better. Of course, the novel isn’t uplifting in many ways, but these passages glimmer with real beauty in amongst the crime and syringes. My only complaint about Candy is that, as in many junkie stories, very little happens and there are endless pages dedicated to rehashing the same ground of “to stop or not to stop”. However, Davies does everything else well – the black humour, the strange characters that lurk in the underworld, the thrills of hedonism and sex and danger. It will be interesting to see whether the Australian ﬁlm version of it, starring Heath Ledger and Abbe Cornish, carries it off half as well. READ IT IF…You like having blood taken and delight in the misery of others

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Food & Drink

od Fact Fo By Sanaz

Why ‘Margherita’ pizza?

Nexus’ Vegetable Of The Week:

Celery!

Throw some celery in your lunchbox today. It’s cheap, crunchy, and available all year round. Rich in vitamin C, potassium and folate, celery is very nutritious and can even help prevent cancer. Store in a paper bag in the fridge.

We all know the birth place of pizza is Italy. In fact it was the Greeks that took their idea of seasoned ﬂat bread to Southern Italy, Naples. Neapolitan and Marinara pizza became popular in Naples because of their basic ingredients and the fact that sailors could take them on sea journeys. But pizza became famous when King Umberto I and Queen Margherita (Margaret in English) visited Naples - they just ordered some! They sent her one topped with tomato, mozzarella and basil to represent the colours of the Italian ﬂag. It became famous as ‘the Margherita’ in honour of the Queen.

Restaurants BY HAZAZEL

Canvas Canvas (by the Museum) is not a place you would eat often, unless you were a lot fuller in the pocket than I am. But for a treat or special occasion it’s somewhere that is quite special, and not ridiculously expensive. It’s also open Monday nights, which is unusual. We were greeted and seated in a friendly manner, and the cheerful, accommodating service never faltered. A great feature of Canvas is that you get little breadsticks with parmesan dip to nibble on while you peruse the menu. So tasty! Rather than decide on one or two of the delectable-sounding entrees, we got a ‘taste plate’, - three smaller servings to share between two people. They were all tasty, but my favourite was the salmon gravalax on blini. The blini were so soft and fluffy, like little herbed pikelets, and the salmon was perfect. All the flavours were beautifully balanced. Already starting to feel slightly sated, we launched into our mains. I had the fish of the day (gurnard) on a hefty pea and polenta fritter (crunchy outside, soft inside. Mmm) topped with a curry prawn baklava (odd but tasty). This was

all surrounded by a crayfish-flavoured sauce. Rather a surfeit of seafood flavours, and yet it worked! Sam had the sage and chestnut stuffed pork belly with baked granny smith and apple jus. It was just as wonderful as it sounds. The baked apple is so much more interesting and flavourful than plain old applesauce. The pork was tender and delicious. The mains don’t come with much more than a garnish of vegetables, so we shared a vegetable side between us, which was plenty. We really, really wanted to have desserts - they have a dessert taste plate that sounds fantastic - but we just couldn’t squeeze in another bite. Tragic, really. So we’ve already agreed that we have to go back for dessert someday soon, but I’m sure that won’t be our last visit to Canvas. Their menu is updated fairly often, and they tend to have outstanding entries in the Monteith’s Wild Food Challenge every year. They’re open for lunch 5 days and dinner 6 days a week, and we always get good service. A great place to have a romantic dinner or a night out with friends... oh yes. We’ll be back. Issue 10 15 May 2006

Veggie Couscous And Roasted Lamb Racks BY DANIELLE THOMSON

Ingredients: 1 cup couscous 1 can chickpeas, drained 1 cup boiling water to soak 300g cooked root vegetables, e.g. parsnips, kumara, carrots 1 tablespoon oil 1 large onion, finely sliced 200g green beans or peas 1 teaspoon each of crushed garlic, turmeric, paprika, ginger and fennel seeds About 1 cup boiling water 400g tin tomatoes in juice, pureed 1/2 teaspoon chilli powder Salt and pepper 1/4 teaspoon each of ground cloves and cinnamon 1 teaspoon butter Place the couscous in a bowl and cover with boiling water and a pinch of salt. Stand for 15 minutes. While the couscous soaks prepare the sauce. Heat the oil in a large heavy-based pan. Add the onion and cook until it begins to brown. Add the garlic and spices and cook a further minute. Mix in the chickpeas, vegetables, tomatoes and water to just cover the mixture (approx. 1 cup). Bring to the boil, cover and simmer over a low heat for 30 minutes. Season well. After 25 minutes cooking, steam or microwave the couscous to heat through with a knob of butter. Fluff up couscous with a fork and place on a large serving dish. 1 lamb rack per 2 - 3 people: Season well with salt and pepper and brown in a hot pan. Chill until ready to finish cooking. Heat oven to 220 ºC and cook lamb for 8 - 10 minutes or until springy to the touch. Stand 5 - 8 minutes before carving. The couscous will serve 4 – 6 people and the recipe can easily be doubled. This dish is delicious if the sauce is made 2 days ahead and refrigerated for the flavours to develop.

Also coming up at Upsett: Gawj, Adam Killer and Simian Lines, all ages show @ Upsett Records 27th May. This show is the same night as Circle Jerk but will be starting early so you could quite possibly catch both shows. I witnessed Simian Lines play a show at Barbarellas in Rotorua with the Mighty Blacktooth a little while back. Simian Lines were sonically violent considering their stripped back instrumentation. They affected me on a deeply emotional level and made me get dust in my eye. If any folks have any local music news or happenings drop me a line htownslut@gmail.com

CITRIC BY M. EMERY Venues in Hamilton will be filled with bands and punters this weekend as shows as bands make the most of NZ Music Month before the doom and gloom of old man Winter. I have a feeling we will be blessed with some amazing shows over winter too, as there seems to be more and more out-of-towners and even international acts gracing our sound holes. The 2nd annual Circle Jerk is coming up on 27th of May at The Castle on Ward Street. This is an opportunity to hear a large quantity of local acts perform covers of Hamilton music and the odd song of their own. Last year’s jerk at Digger’s was a whole heap of fun and a great night to witness bands who probably should never ever share a stage. Bands in this years line-up include The Shrugs, Dynamo Go, Amy Racecar, Rumpus Room and plenty more to come. Lots of new and newish bands coming out of the practice rooms in recent months, with Goatse, Gawj, The Gills and Dynamo Go gracing us with their craft. At a recent Goatse performance I felt like I was witnessing the birth of something new and amazing. Or I could have been really drunk. Under age music fans are being spoiled this month with a steady lot of all ages shows happening at The Meteor and Upsett Records. If you’re too young to get into bars and like Metalcore/Hardcore and brutal Metal Hardcore then I fully recommend you attend some of the upcoming shows. Of course these shows are in no way exclusive to young folk and all ages are welcome. Wish For Wings (Brisbane), Antagonist, Every Man For Himself, Ryan Rocks It, The Warpath @ Upsett Records, 333 Victoria Street, Fri 19 May. $12 Entry, all ages show. Brutal Metalcore from Australia with a mix of Hamilton finest. Wings are label mates of Stronghold, so if you liked them come check these guys out. Bring extra ping to these shows, there will be sweet sweet merch available. http://www.myspace.com/wishforwingsxxx http://www.myspace.com/alwaystheantagonist http://www.myspace.com/everymanforhimself

Morrissey Ringleader of the Tormentors REVIEWED BY M. EMERY Morrissey’s solo work since The Smiths has veered from brilliant to banal and this follow up to the excellent You Are The Quarry is perhaps leaning a bit towards mediocre. Early rumours had this disc being a set of raw rockers, which, combined with his band containing past and future members of The Chilli Peppers and Good Charlotte, could well have been the case, but it’s not. Ringleader suffers in comparison to much of Morrissey’s back catalogue as it touches on his past but does not regain any of its heights. This sounds like Morrissey covering Morrissey. The standout track for me was ‘You Have Killed Me’ but overall there are not many memorable spots on this disc. Perhaps with some new players in his band and a different production team Morrissey could produce some more vital work.

Goodnight Nurse Always and now (FRM)

REVIEWED BY HANNAH YEN A must have for those who love punk music. This is Goodnight Nurse’s first album (released January 23rd 06). The Auckland band recorded this in Hamilton. Always and Now is good value - you get 13 tracks on here! The music alternates from rock-punk songs to soft-punk songs. I like listening to rock-punk songs at the gym, such as ‘All Hail the Serpent Queen’; ‘No Way to escape’; ‘A Shadow & a Prayer’ and ‘Suffer’. Great for pushing me when doing weights or cardio. ‘Death goes to the disco’ always manages to make me smile every time I listen to it, and two songs in this album managed to give me butterflies, ‘Our Song’ and ‘All for you’. If you’re somehow broke, you can access 3 Goodnight Nurse songs from http://www.myspace.com/goodnightnurse . Warning! After listening to their songs a few times you’ll just want to buy the CD. For those of you who are keen to WIN a copy of this fantastic CD…check out http://www.myspace.com/hannah_yen and follow the instructions!

Issue 11 22 May 2006

Section Title

BY KAZUMA NAMIOKA

BILLY CONNOLLY

GORILLAZ

DEMON DAYS LIVE

LIVE IN NEW YORK

I guess I don’t care about the concept of a cartoon band, though I think the style and character design is pretty cool. The live stuff after the release of their first album looked fucking boring, the crowd was like goldfish in uncirculated water, trying to preserve the dissolved oxygen by being absolutely still until someone remembers to clean the tank and put some fresh water in. I like this second album better, and they picked their game up with the live act as well, so overall this is a DVD worth watching.

“…There can be no disputing that Billy has brought more pleasure and laughter to more people than any other living person.” So claims the back of the case. I seem to recall Jerry Seinfeld being the “undisputed King of Comedy”, but I guess that’s not quite the same thing. With Connolly it’s more anecdotes than jokes, really. If you wanted to use some of his stuff at parties it would take a patient audience, because the situational setup takes about five minutes at least, and often he explodes away on barelyrelated tangents part-way through. Also Connolly’s toured so much for so long he has DVDs and videos in abundance, and who knows how many people have accidentally been entertained by him.

The show was set up with the screen with visuals projected on it as before, but this time the band was in front and there were a lot more people involved for specific songs, like an actual children’s choir up on stage for “Dirty Harry”. Looking at those little fuckers trying to dance, they’re so cute I just want to set them on fire. They had an agenda with their songs; images of guns and zombies and mountains of trash (not a metaphor) are flashed up on the backing screen in among some other confused colours and shapes. If you want to alternate between vomiting and writhing on the ground of an evening, you can choose to watch these backing visuals by themselves. Besides this option, DVD has extras like Grind has EFTPOS.

Connolly. Funny guy. I much prefer his standup to his tour stuff. Well, I only saw some of the New Zealand tour, and because he’s only going on about how beautiful the country is blah-di-blah, it seemed masturbatory for NZ television to broadcast it. Imagine suburban parents smiling smugly at each other (“he’s so right. We’re really lucky”) when the next time they see any of what he’s seeing is if they die and their soul becomes trapped in their child’s body when it goes on school camp. He mentioned NZ in his routine anyway, nice empty place blah-diddly-blech, but then he called Dunedin dreary. Then made fun of his stroke-victim father.

Issue 11 22 May 2006

Reviews

THE

PLAYER

SINGSTAR ROCKS! PLAYSTATION 2

REVIEWED BY JOSH It’s hard to know how to review a Sing Star game properly without telling people things they already know. But I’ll give it a shot. SingStar Rocks! is the rock version of the popular Sing Star franchise. In case you’ve been living under a rock (joke), or just don’t play games, here’s the gist of the drift; you sing into a special microphone and the game rates how well you do. “Sing Star” is the best mark possible, unsurprisingly. All but the most tone-deaf cretins should be able to do well on the “easy” setting. Medium is considerably harder. Hard is damn near impossible.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

I’m guessing here, but I suspect that the inability of everyone I know to do well on the hard setting has more to do with the inaccuracies of the PS2 microphone than lack of singing ability. That being said, this game is the ultimate at parties. Alcohol fuels the inhibitions of people who normally know they’re tone dear and so don’t sing. They get drunk, think they’re awesome, and start singing. They’re always awful. Therein lies the fun. It’s the only game I can think of where the worse the player(s) are, the more fun it is. The game comes bundled with the microphones, or can be bought separately. It’s a good buy, as is the rest of the Sing Star series. Get it at Games Plus.

Competition Results! And now for the winners of last week’s Socom 3 comp (check the entries in the Lettuce section on page 14-15). We had some awesome entries – check ‘em out on the letters page. But there had to be only one winner, and that person is - CeeDy TeknoFile. Come on up to the Nexus ofﬁces to collect your prize, you weird bastard. This week’s prize is a copy of V8 Supercars 3. And we’ll throw in a copy of 24:The Game for you to use as a coaster or clay bird target – if you promise us you’ll never, ever play it. To win, just tell us in 35 words or less how videogames are better than sex. Email your entry to nexus@ waikato.ac.nz. Much thanks to Games Plus for supplying the giveaway games!

GAMES PLUS - THE NEXT LEVEL: Providing you with all your necessary gaming needs S H O P 1 0 5 , C E N T R E P L A C E M A L L , V I C T O R I A S T, H A M I LT O N · P H O N E 8 3 8 0 8 0 1 XBOX · PLAYSTATION · GAMECUBE · PC · GAMEBOY · DS · PSP · MOVIES · ANIME

OPAL NERA PHOTO COMPETITION WINNERS Unfortunately, we only got two entries for this competition. TWO entries! Did you realise that this was for a FREE BOTTLE of OPAL NERA? Free, meaning you don’t need to pay for it? You best be entering in the next competition or else your ass is grass! The two winners are as follows: Mark Sullivan and Maryanne Albury. They get a bottle of Opal Nera each, and you get nothing.

Issue 10 15 May 2006

Reviews

Films Ice Age 2

Village Cinema REVIEW BY JOE CITIZEN Cartoons, ya gotta love ‘em. Violence and misfortune are funny as hell when they happen to two-dimensional drawings. Roadrunner mentality makes for no brainer entertainment, sit down and forget your worries for an hour or two. All it gotta do is hold my attention long enough and I’m one happy cinema kid. Cos let’s face it, this aint quality adult fun unless your idea of a good night out is singing along to the Wiggles. That said, it’s got enough adult references to keep the parent/guardians amongst us engaged (at least for the ﬁrst third anyway), which is just enough to get the little darlings to understand that movie theatres are places we go to be quiet, not wander along the aisles, and just watch. Cute idea. Might work. In the mean time there’s kind of a story (end of the world as we know it/ promised salvation/ additional baddies/male who can’t communicate properly love match/ happy ending… oops hope I didn’t spoil it for

you…) and kind of character development (y’know, we all gotta overcome our fears, not that most cartoons are morality plays or anything), and kind of, well… Kind of a bizarre sing along sequence that doesn’t really ﬁt anywhere, except to make reviewers like me wonder about the DVD implications of repeated hours spent in imaginative babysitting situations. “Food Glorious Food” sung by vultures is pretty twisted, but it was the only musical in the entire ﬁlm. Talking of morality, it’s a bit of a mishmash. Yay for no central hero and yay for co-operation wins the day. Boo for male mammoth rescuing the identity confused female mammoth from life threatening situation. Yay for no sudden fright inducing experiences, that makes it suitable for little kids. Boo for the celluloid thin dimensionality of the characters and make it up as we go along story line. (So therefore for children, yay for bad baddies and good goodies.) Boo for the fact that apart from the mammoth that thinks she’s a possum, there’s no other female character. Shame cartoons haven’t changed that much.

Despite some fairly standard animation and an unremarkable score, I laughed like the eight year old I really is. I’m sure the guy behind me had his lemonade come up through his nose. I didn’t have to see the ﬁrst one for it to make sense and although most of it is completely unrealistic it doesn’t matter, for whilst there’s no surprises there’s two hours of not worrying about anything else and that’s worth something to somebody. Possibly.

Rialto Check BY LEIGH MCGEADY Did you know that the “grizzly” bear got its name from the long guard hairs on it back and shoulders that often have white tips and give the bears a “grizzled” appearance? Did you also know that adult male grizzly bears can weigh between 300 to 850 pounds while females weigh in between 200 and 450 pounds? Well, you can find this info and more about grizzly bears in the up coming film Grizzly Man that starts its season here at Rialto on 25th May. In the mesmerising film Grizzly Man acclaimed director Werner Herzog explores the life and death of amateur grizzly bear expert and wildlife preservationist Timothy Treadwell. Treadwell lived unarmed among the bears for thirteen summers and filmed

his adventures in the wild during his final 5 seasons. In October 2003, Treadwell’s remains, along with those of his girlfriend, Amie Huguenard, were discovered near their campsite in Alaska’s Katmai National Park and Reserve. They had been mauled and devoured by a grizzly, the first known victims of a bear attack in the park. (The bear suspected of the killings was later shot by park officials). Treadwell, founder of the organisation Grizzly People, devoted his life to the preservation of bears, co-authored a book “Among Grizzlies” and educated thousands of schoolchildren about bears. Treadwell also used his charisma and growing celebrity to spread the grizzly gospel, appearing on television shows “The Late Show with David Letterman”, downplaying the dangers of his encounters. Issue 10 15 May 2006

Herzog uses Treadwell’s own startling documentary footage to paint a nuanced portrait of a complex and compelling ﬁgure while exploring larger questions about the uneasy relationship between man and nature. Was Timothy Treadwell a passionate and fearless environmentalist who devoted his life to living peacefully among Alaskan grizzly bears in order to save them? Or was he a deluded misanthrope whose reckless actions resulted in his own death, as well as those of his own girlfriend and one of the bears he swore to protect?

TEQUILA, VODKA, AND EGGLIES! AISEC’s NZMS, April 18th to the 22nd, Canterbury Hannah Yen attends AISEC’s motivational seminar and finds out they know how to party. New Zealand Motivational Seminar (NZMS) was a 5 day conference where AIESEC members from all over New Zealand get together. We got to work hard and party hard! For those of you are clueless about AIESEC, it is the world’s largest exchange organization; and also is the international platform for young people to discover and develop their full potential. One of the main things AIESEC offers is assistance with international internships/exchanges. It was my first NZMS. I’m just going to give you little snippets of the conference…the more lively snippets!

Day 1

Opening plenary hit off at 11am. They introduced to us some awards individuals can aim for during the conference. I wanted “Woman of the Conference” and managed to get it. My trophy: a bottle of tequila - which I’m not going to drink, for the rest of my life. 11pm: It was the first time; I’ve seen people use this “technique” of consuming alcohol. Maybe you can try this in the comfort of your own party. You need 2 people to participate. “Sam” sits on chair with squirt of honey on his neck and a squirt of cream in mouth. “Emma” licks

off honey, has a shot of vodka and eats the cream out of Sam’s mouth.

Day 2

Morning plenary 8:30am. If late you have to drink egglies. Egglies are made from “flat” beer, a raw egg and Tabasco sauce. I had to taste one of these things… I was only 5 minutes late!

Day 3

Boatraces, 11pm! I got too drunk… don’t want to go in to too much detail here. Waikato came second!

Day 4

We had a formal dinner and ball! AIESECers added a little twist to the first dance. All partners dance on a piece of paper, and when the music stops they had to fold the piece of paper in half. You keep dancing until you eventually fall off…

Day 5

End of conference. It got quite emotional because it was the last NZMS for some members. AIESEC values came alive to me though interactions with other members and workshops over the weekend. The other AIESECers really made you feel at home. I had the privilege of interacting with international speakers; and felt there was no hierarchy between senior members and new members. I only got 3hours sleep each day; the reason being there was a party on each night. AIESEC conference was one of the best experiences I’ve had in my life!

Issue 10 15 May 2006