issue 1

01 26 FEBRUARY 2007

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Labour’s team delivering for the Waikato Your Labour Members of Parliament: • Hon Nanaia Mahuta, MP for Tainui • Martin Gallagher, MP for Hamilton West • Sue Moroney, Labour List MP • Dianne Yates, Labour List MP Waikato Labour MPs Office 181 River Road, Hamilton Tel: 852-5240 Fax: 852-5875 Hamilton West Electorate Office 487 Anglesea St, P O Box 19183, Hamilton Tel: 838-3033 Fax: 838-3083

www.labour.org.nz

26 FEBRUARY 2007

CONTENTS FEATURES

ARTICLES

17 17 18 20 32 22

33

26 27 32 41 44

Summarise!

Parachute WESMO in Australia Jig On Sunday Big Gay Out Flatting Sucks Bums Your introduction to the joys of flatting

The First Year’s Guide to O’Week Freebies

SPECIAL FEATURE 40

Put on your own play!

COMICS

NEWS 10

How to get Scholarships Money Matters Welcome pics Bikewise Week; Tui de Toki Concord Dawn interview

University gets new Chancellor Campus gets new boardwalk Students get new bus Haiku News & Short Shorts

www.nexusmag.co.nz

39

Meantime

PHOTOS 46 47

REGULARS 9 16 24 28 34 34 35 36 36 37 37 38 38

Editorials Lettuce Gig Guide WSU Jerk Jokes Poetree Vitalisa Walkthrough Been There, Done That Los Libros Third Eye In The Sky Muscle Man Tips of the Week Guru Moonbeam’s Horoscopes

I’ve Got 5 On It Busted

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

EeEn FR l&B Bil

ok* o B k o Co

* Limited to one per customer, while stocks last

Email: wkutext@bennetts.co.nz Phone: 07 856 6813 Gate 5, Hillcrest Road, Hamilton

Editorial

Credits NEXUS STAFF

Dawn Tuffery EDITOR nexus@waikato.ac.nz

Matt Scheurich DESIGN graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz

Tony Arkell ADVERTISING admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz Phone: 021 176 66180

Joshua Drummond NEWS ED news@nexus-npl.co.nz

CONTRIBUTORS

CONTACT NEXUS Email: Phone: Fax: Postal:

nexus@waikato.ac.nz 07 838 4653 07 838 4588 Nexus Publications 2003 Ltd Private Bag 3059, Hamilton THIS ISSUE’S COVER IS BY

Scheurbert (LVL99.COM) To submit your art for use on the cover, please check out: www.nexusmag.co.nz/coverart You could even score yourself a $50 Gordon Harris gift voucher!

Read us online at

www.nexusmag.co.nz The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus Publications 2003 LTD, any of our advertisers, Waikato Students’ Union or APN Media.

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

www.nexusmag.co.nz

Dawn Tuffery Ha - you thought I was gone, didn’t you? I am, really, nearly, but just thought I’d give you a final sting with my tail before jumping ship.

Although I am abandoning you, I’m also joining you. Paradoxical, huh? Yes, I’m going to be a student again. Hooray!

After more than two years of horrifically late nights, bizarre creative decisions inspired by impending doom/deadlines, and producing ream upon ream of dubious prose out of necessity, I’m going to Wintec to do exactly the same thing but without the pay. Or more precisely, Honours in Moving Image, focussing on stop-motion animation. Being a sucker for frustrating plasticene figures and geeky research on animators, I’m really looking forward to it. Despite that, I am genuinely going to miss working with all the

awesome people involved in Nexus every day. You know who you are, I raved about you at the end of last year. Hopefully I’ll be up to visit now and then, and get roped into doing some fun menial task (karmically likely).

Nexus has been, and is, a great thing to be involved with, and it’s going to keep getting better. I think Roz will do a fantastic job as editor and continue raising the quality of the mag. Support Roz and Nexus by joining up as a volunteer and being prolifically vocal about the things you care about, or just think are hilarious. Nexus is your magazine, your voice. I recommend making the most of it.

Arohanui, have a great year, and I’ll see you in O’Week.

PHOTO BY PETRAJANE.COM

Roz Case, Rodgort T. Tarinbourn, Nick Maarhuis, Petra Jane, The Scholarships Office, Brie Jesson, WSU, Isa, Vitamin C, Dave Snell, Matt Scheurich, Gary Oliver, Matt, Joe Citizen, Rocky, Josh Drummond, Moskonovitch.

Old Ed – Bye

New Ed – Hi ROZ CASE I think this is the bit where I’m supposed to say something really pithy or intellectually stimulating, in order to assure you that I’m deserving of my role as the new editor of Nexus. But, after some conversation with Dawn, we’ve decided I shouldn’t bring out my big guns until next week. For now I’m just going to bore you with some not-sosalacious facts about me: • I’m 25 years old and have a five year old daughter, Mia. She’s sassy and blonde, which is to say she’s the complete opposite of me.

• I was born and bred in the Waikato.

The Catholic version of the Waikato.

Which is the scariest version, believe me.

• I’ve spent the last five years selling my soul to the psychology department at the University of Waikato (and paying them lots of money for the privilege). I reckon it’ll probably take another 28 years of study before I’m completely devoid of spirit and therefore eligible to leave.

• I can’t wait to find out exactly what drugs were in Anna Nicole’s bloodstream

when she died.

• I like eating cheese.

So now you feel like you really know me, you can write me interesting letters. Not too sexy though, that might make me uncomfortable. In the meantime, I have to try and work out what my big guns look and feel like and how exactly I’m going to get them on to paper in time for next week’s issue.

If this is your first year at the University of Waikato, I would like to welcome you to this great campus. Your student union have worked hard over the last couple of years to create a culturally rich environment in which you can fully engage as a student.

This journey of learning will have a massive impact on who you are as a person and what you can offer to the local and global community. This campus is your oyster.

And hopefully, you will emerge from it as some sort of luminescent pearl (albeit slightly misshapen, as in my case).

Next week: big guns. Look out.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Nexus News Ex-Prime Minister becomes University’s new Chancellor

L TO R: SEHAI ORGAD (WSU PRESIDENT), JOHN JACKMAN (OUTGOING CHANCELLOR), JIM BOLGER (CHANCELLOR ELECT), (PROF ROY CRAWFORD (VICE CHANCELLOR). PHOTO BY TREFOR WARD

BY ANDREW NEAL

Former Prime Minister Jim Bolger has been elected as the new University Chancellor for this year and a new Pro Vice-Chancellor will be received around the middle of the year.

The move to appoint Jim Bolger, announced on February 15, was supported by outgoing Chancellor John Jackman, and the University staff consensus is that Mr. Bolger’s national and international relationships will make him a ‘brilliant’ advocate for the University of Waikato.

Vice Chancellor Professor Roy Crawford praised the former PM’s new role on campus. “His leadership qualities and international standing will make him an excellent ambassador for the university.”

Professor Crawford praised outgoing Chancellor John Jackman for his contribution to the University, as well as securing Jim Bolger for the Chancellorship.

“He [Jackman] has done an outstanding job for Waikato and on behalf of the University

[and was active] in securing Mr. Bolger as the new Chancellor,” he said.

Linda Smith new PV-C(M) The University council has also recently elected a new Pro Vice-Chancellor (Maori.)

Professor Linda Smith is of Ngati Awa and Ngati Porou descent and will replace Tamati Reedy. She holds a BA, MA and PhD and is currently employed at Auckland University, and will begin work around the middle of the year.

WSU president Sehai Orgad says that having Bolger as the University’s chancellor offers “a unique opportunity” and that it “raises the standard of what Waikato has to offer.”

Orgad said Bolger “showed a genuine enthusiasm for leading the University towards a clear strategic direction”

Bolger: political and prolific Mr. Bolger was Prime Minister for three consecutive terms during a 25 year political career, who gradually fell from grace over

“slow decision making,” and a caucus coup in 1997 saw Jenny Shipley become New Zealand’s first female Prime Minister after Bolger’s resignation.

Since this time he has continued to raise his nine children and ten grandchildren, and acted as New Zealand’s Ambassador to the United States. He has also served on the boards of several international groups as well as being the chairman of New Zealand Post and Kiwibank.

So what do all these Chancellors do, anyway? Is it better to be Pro, Vice or Deputy?

The Chancellor’s role at the university is to be an ambassador to the community at large on its behalf. It’s a fairly decorative job, but important in a representational sense. On the other hand, the slightly confusingly-titled ViceChancellor is more like a CEO – someone who manages the day-to-day running of the institution.

Then there’s the Pro Vice-Chancellor (Maori) whose role is to “provide executive

Got Milk? Got Jesus?

Got News?

We’re only interested in your news, if you’ve got it. Send all your salacious, informative, entertaining news and if you want to go out into the wide world and investigate stuff for us, we’d be most appreciative.

Contact Josh at news@nexus-npl.co.nz with your marriage proposals and news.

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ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

leadership for the University in meeting its commitment to the Treaty of Waitangi,” as well as providing support for Maori students and ensuring opportunities for all staff and students to engage in Maori culture and cultural activities. This is different again to the other Pro Vice Chancellor’s role (also called Deputy Vice-Chancellor), which is to be an assistant to the Vice Chancellor.

Less confused? Neither are we. www.nexusmag.co.nz

News

Over the holidays, lots of stuff got dug up and chucked around. Now you have a shiny new boardwalk thing over the lake and some seats where you can hold hands and feed ducks. Here’s a few pics of the work in action.

The bus – Now less fuss! But more money

By Rodgort T. Tarinbourn

Students taking the bus to University can look forward to more direct routes – and higher fares. The new year has seen the introduction of a fare hike, changes to several bus routes around the University and Hamilton East areas, and the demise of the “69er,” and the Eastern Circular routes.

“After careful consideration we decided to adjust most University bus routes and timetables, in order to enhance our services for students,” said Environment Waikato Land Transport Operations Manager, Russell Turnbull. “As a result, we now offer a wide range of route options and more frequent services.”

Students who used to catch the Eastern Circular to Chartwell Sqaure can now ride the Orbiter, on a more direct route via Peachgrove Road, from Knighton Road every 15 minutes. The Number 17 bus, the heir to the late 69er’s throne, travels around the University’s perimeter along Knighton, Silverdale and Hillcrest Roads before heading into town. This means that management and law students need not get a www.nexusmag.co.nz

cardiovascular workout to catch a bus, because it arrives right outside their lecture theatres.

New, higher fares have also arrived THIS IS A BUS with the new routes, which incorporate new and ridiculous denominations. The adult cash fare from University to town is now $2.30. The Busit! card offers cheaper fares, and an even more ridiculous denomination of $1.61.

“At the moment our bus services are funded by Land Transport NZ, ratepayers and fares,” Mr Turnbull said of the rise in prices. “This fare rise simply means bus users themselves are funding a fairer percentage of the cost of their ride.”

Students spoken to by Nexus were keen on the new fares, but were unhappy with the slight increase. “Golly, I can tell you, that’s gonna be fiddly fun with our fun new fiddly fun coins!” said one. Students also expressed dismay about the disappearance of the 69er, which had a certain sentimental value.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

11

News

Fee Increases, Budget Cuts and Redundancies Forecast. W00t.

BY Matt Russell and Richard Bol

2007 will see most major tertiary institutions cutting staff, slashing budgets and hiking fees after widespread financial underperformance throughout 2006.

Last year most major tertiary institutions initiated significant budget and staffing cuts, and applied for fee hikes between five and ten per cent. Universities and student organisations are predicting a similarly dreary financial situation in 2007.

Most New Zealand universities have increased their fees by the maximum or near to the maximum permitted under the Government’s Fee Maxima regulations.

The two exceptions were Massey, which attained permission for a 10% across the board increase, and Victoria University, whose application for 10% hikes were denied by the Tertiary Education Commission on

the grounds it did not meet the criteria for exemption.

New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) Co-President Joey Randall put the fee rises down to a lack of Government investment in universities and polytechnics. Randall criticised the restricted fee-increases policy of fees maxima for placing the burden of funding onto students. “Fees maxima is actually a bit of a misnomer, really it’s the minimum fee increase that universities make every year, and we saw that last year”.

Randall also criticised the widespread staff cuts in the tertiary sector, saying that they had been done “in quite a short-sighted way.”

New Zealand Vice-Chancellor’s Committee (NZVCC) Executive Director Lindsay Taiaroa said that although the government tuition subsidy was raised last year relative to increases in the cost of living, the costs of delivering education have increased by much

MR SAFETY BIGGLESWORTH Hi, Nexus readers. My name is Mr Safety Bigglesworth, and I’m your friendly neighbourhood anti-crime crusader. Read my column to find out what’s been happening in the hideous world of the criminal, and how to avoid falling victim to them.

It’s the start of a new academic year, and that means lots of impressionable first-years will be flocking to the University - and there will be plenty of deviants coming up the rear, so to speak. So here are some tips to help people stay clear of the Waikato’s undesirable elements, courtesy of Uni Security and the Police.

There are inductions for new students going on all over the place. Go to them.

There’s plenty of good advice that’ll help you get settled in and sorted. If you have a security-related concern, call the Uni Security hotline on 838 4444, and (this really goes without saying) if something

12

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

HE IN T

more.

“We’ve seen widespread financial deficits as a result of decreasing domestic and international enrolments. That, combined with yearly demands for increases in staff wages between 5 and 6 per cent means most institutions cannot generate enough revenue to cover their costs. It’s in that context that Universities regrettably have to look to dropping staff and increasing fees, and will inevitably continue to do so throughout 2007”, he said.

Last year Massey and Auckland University axed the greatest number of academic staff.

In Auckland 43 jobs are expected to go from within the Faculties of Education, Business and Humanities, with a further 12.25 full-time positions to be lost through retirement, and/or voluntary severance.

FIGHT AGAINST CRIME

really dodgy is up, call 111.

Ray Hayward, the top dog at Uni Security, says avoiding most types of criminal problems comes down to common sense and awareness. “Don’t leave your mates if they’re pissed,” is his succinct suggestion. He adds that firstyears (or anyone, really) hitting the town should have a buddy system – people who can keep an eye out for each other.

Drink spiking hasn’t, apparently, been a problem in Hamilton for some time. That being said, it has happened, and the results have been predictably nasty. Don’t ever leave your drink, whether you’re a guy or a girl.

Things have been relatively quiet on the thievery front over Christmas, but things tend to heat up once students move in, with brand-new valuable stuff like laptops, cars and stereos. Breakins are especially common around the Hamilton East Area, and in the Halls of Residence car parks. To keep your

swag out of the hands of thieves, take your stuff out of cars. Not just valuables: everything. People will break in to cars for anything. For an example, the window on my car was smashed (while the car was unlocked, I’ll add – Hamilton thieves are a special kind of stupid) for the thieves to get away with some car shampoo and a sponge that was kept in a tantalisinglooking box in the boot. For flats: lock your doors and windows, and get insurance.

You need it.

Bike theft is particularly common. A bike lock is the obvious solution, but that won’t always stop a thief with bolt cutters/ teeth and a P habit. For better security, you can have your bike put in a lock-up under G block that’s administered by Uni Security. You pay a bond for the keys, which you get back when you give the key back. Easy, huh? That’s all for now.

Until Next Time,

Mr Bigglesworth www.nexusmag.co.nz

News

Student diaries awesome but delayed The free WSU student diaries have been painstakingly put together for you by the talented Nexus production team – and we can report that they will look great and cater to all your diaristic (and sexual) needs.

However, we received word today that all (yes, all) the diaries were sitting innocently in the factory when a maniac superhero with laser eyes and spaghetti-o-shooting hands flew wildly in with a hose and flooded the whole caboodle. Seriously, a flood? How unfortunate is that? Couldn’t it have been fire, or locusts, or a plague of spotty diaryeating frogs?

Anyway – the diaries are still coming and they will still be awesome. So hang on, and write your appointments on our stylish wallplanners in the meantime. Look out for posters announcing the diaries’ arrival and perhaps a special stall during week 2.

Robotic tuatara key to the future A one-of-a-kind robotic model of a tuatara has been donated to researchers at Victoria University of Wellington, to assist them in establishing the mating habits of these prehistoric creatures.

Built by Weta Workshop, the model will be used for the first time next month on Stephens Island—where the largest population of tuatara is situated.

Jennifer Moore, a researcher in Victoria’s School of Biological Science, approached Weta Workshop because she needed a super-realistic, scale model tuatara to use in testing social dominance and aggression in wild tuatara, hoping to better understand the mating system of these reptiles.

Ms Moore anticipates that the extremely lifelike model will elicit intense reactions from wild male tuatara, who are known to fight very aggressively at times. www.nexusmag.co.nz

“We have recently learned that mating in tuatara can be dominated by very few males. This has potential impacts for population maintenance, from a genetic standpoint. If we can better understand how male tuatara establish their dominance, we may be better able to select individuals to start new populations in the future.”

Into The Dojo, the country’s 17th highest selling album.

Third highest selling album of 2006 was U2’s 18 Singles while Back to Bedlam maintained its momentum into the year as the country’s fourth most popular album, lurking 36 weeks in the chart.

Alliance states the obvious

Two teams from New Zealand have beaten out more than 600 other entrants and qualified as finalists for PETA’s “People’s Choice” Award for their entries in a YoungGuns international ad contest. The contest is aimed at bringing awareness to the suffering of chickens raised for their flesh and eggs. The Kiwi finalists are Helen Steemson and Matthew Swinburne of the Auckland ad agency Saatchi & Saatchi for their ad entitled “Suicide”. The ad shows a chicken hanging from a rope next to the tagline “If They Could, They Would” and refers to the horrific abuse of chickens in animal factories. There’s also Amy Thexton and Jessica Neale, also from Auckland, for their ad entitled “Factory Chickens Make Us Sick”. The ad features a sick bag imprinted with the “stomach-churning” facts about the suffering of chickens raised for their flesh and eggs.

As students around New Zealand head back to for another year of tertiary education, tens of thousands of teenagers will be plunged into massive debt, says Alliance Party Youth Spokesperson Matthew Stephen.

If more people had pirated the Chili’s latest album, this disaster might not have occurred A late burst of December sales by the Red Hot Chili Peppers has knocked Fat Freddy’s Drop’s Based On A True Story from its perch as the country’s number one album for 2006.

Early in December it looked as though the local lads would head off the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ effort Stadium Arcadium but after an enormous 88 weeks in The Chart, the Wellington collective’s album lost ground to the group. It was déjà vu for the seven piece; in 2005 Based On A True Story was pipped at the post

by Englishman James Blunt’s debut set Back To Bedlam.

Based On A True Story spent seven weeks at #1 during 2006, a week more than Bedlam and two weeks more than local eight-piece The Black Seeds’

Chicken Torture: Not Okay

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

13

News

New Hardcore Haiku News Bar now open!

BY DRUMMOND-SAN

By Vitamin C

It’s simple: every week Nexus sums up significant news events in 17 syllables - as a Haiku*. Sometimes it rhymes, but it doesn’t have to. Some are funny. Some aren’t meant to be funny at all. Some are only funny if you know the news item being Haiku-ed, or have a particularly bent sense of humour. The headline is usually pulled straight from some major newspaper to give you an idea of what the Haiku is actually about. The rest is up to you.

Kiwis fit and happy, but scared to go out at night - survey

Scientists closer to finding life on other planets

Kiwis, fit and well fed But they’re scared, so they choose to Stay in their beds

Aliens: already here.

How else could we get Anna Nicole Smith?

Rickards: I never knew woman accusing me of assault

Attackers posed as police to abduct Dutch tourists, says Crown

“I never had, Sexual relations with that woman,” A wise man said.

Telecom forced to refund broadband customers Telecom is forced to refund Its customers find Slow porn’s no fun.

Prince Harry could be heading to Iraq Sweet prince, don’t get shot Or some such shit. We’d never hear The end of it.

Attackers ruin couple’s lives Turns out, they were on P. Big surprise.

Britney Spears in rehab (then, 24 hours later) Britney Spears out of rehab (five minutes after that) Britney Spears sporting shaved head.

What, in God’s name?

Is going on? Britney Spears’gone all Fucking insane.

* Yes, we know they aren’t proper haikus. We don’t care. Stop telling us.

Metal fans and Bogans across Hamilton have been rejoicing (or whatever it is they do when they’re happy - kick a street sign or something probably) with the re-opening of a metal bar.

Since 6-Feet Under went under, the regular patrons have been forced to hang around under bridges, cars, and a careful eye at $2 Tuesdays in the Outback or Bahama Hutt. This has come to an end with the opening over summer of Venom, where 6-ft used to be. The name Venom conjures up the suitable heavy-metal imagery of a rock-hard snake spitting in a man’s face, and is bound to be a hit.

If you’re new to Hamilton, to find the place you just need to go down on The Crazy Farmer; it’s at the bottom of the stairs underneath. Once in, the music will make you feel right at home.

There’s enough Tool around to satisfy any man, and for those who don’t like things quite so hard, a healthy amount of White Snake as well.

The girls are catered for too, with plenty of opportunity to encounter an Iron Maiden or Twisted Sister set. There’s a great atmosphere down there, and the doors are open to people from all works of life, so if you’re after a night of hard-core rock it’s definitely worth a look.

$5 Wednesday Student Special The cheapest feed in town guaranteed! Every Wednesday from 5 PM A Burger, chips and a cold handle ofTui or DB Export Show your Student ID to qualify. Limited to 1 meal per personplus we do the dishes!

The Riv Bar & Cafe 14

CLYDE ST SHOPPING CENTRE, CNR GRAY & CLYDE ST, HAMILTON EAST PH: 856 8508

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

www.nexusmag.co.nz

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LETTUCE No more 69 It would appear that the 69 bus has been laid to rest. and in announcing more efficiency in the routing of the new route 17 a fee hike of up to 130% you are in the unfortunate position of being an adult without the BUSIT Card.

Interesting to see it is running later, and more frequently, lets hope it gets used more to realise any efficiencies that have in the past not been present or why else the change?

Tullerman

Aww shucks...

Dear Ed. I would just like to gush, as a dedicated reader of Nexus, about how wonderful you are and how much I have appreciate all the effort you have put into lifting the quality of the magazine over the last two years.

Never before have I witnessed so many students utterly captivated by the magazine in tutorials and it has been increasingly difficult to locate copies later in the week of publication. Your witty editorials have always been thoroughly readable and even spelling and grammatical mistakes have been few and far between. You have set the standard so high that the new editor will have quite a challenge in expanding upon your effort. You have thoroughly earned the right to live a happy, joyful life free of stress and Thursday night deadlines. I wish you well in your future endeavours.

All the best, isa

Lettuce Policy Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page – serious or otherwise. Letters should be no more than 250 words and received by 5pm on the Tuesday before publication. All letters will generally be printed so give it a bash, but the editor retains the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Bad spelling and grammar will not be corrected. Pseudonyms are acceptable but all letters must include your real name and contact details even if you don’t want them printed (and they won’t be printed!). We discourage the use of pseudonyms for serious letters.

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ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

What do you think about stuff? Write to us at nexus@waikato.ac.nz (subject line ‘Lettuce’) or submit your letter via our forums on our beautiful new website at www.nexusmag.co.nz. Deadline for the next issue is Tuesday 5 PM.

Yeah Sue, ban those violent TV programmes! None of that ‘Be yourself’ crap!

Dear Sir/Madam, Re: Sue Bradford’s anti-smacking legislation If anything marks our time it must surely be stupidity.

•We are burning non-renewable fossil fuels at a rate that is polluting and destroying our environment and yet we will even burn these fuels just for pleasure! super-eight car races, grand prixs, etc, etc, etc.

•We are running out of water (specifically, running out of RAIN water), and yet we (and our forefathers) have created our own problem by clearing so much land that we have broken the rain cycle. And do we restore the rain cycle? No. We squabble over who will get a portion of the water that’s left.

•We have a problem with violence, and Sue Bradford blames it on parents. and yet we entertain our children with violence on TV. And as if that isn’t bad enough, we teach them, “Be yourself. Do your own thing.”

If parents don’t, or can’t, teach their children to respect authority and live as civilised citizens in society, the police end up with the job. Someone’s got to do it!

Why doesn’t Sue Bradford do something to HELP parents -- ban violent programmes (for children OR adults) and require programmes that teach good values

She Bought a Lemon Mildred purchased a car at auction, and it broke down soon after. Is she covered by the Consumer Guarantees Act? The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other hassles you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge data base to help answer anyone’s questions. Visit them at the

and good social skills.

Let’s show that we have the wisdom and the courage to save our environment and our society.

Sincerely Milton Wainwright Girls hot, MC not Dear Ed I just got in from the Ralph Bikini Comp at Altitude and I just want to say: girls, you were gr8! Announcer/MC guy: you were annoying, tacky and stupid and you fucking near ruined the night for me and everyone else, not to mention made my ears bleed with your goddam screaming. Stick to MCing at strippers and fat chicks in your lame ass wet tshirt competitions, you tool. “CAN I GET A FUCK YEAH????!!!” Idiot. Fuck off, you fucking chode. No one thinks your cool.

From Fucked off at munter MCs

O’Week Early?

Hey guyz, howzit? Thought I’d drop yous a line and say I think o’week is the shit and does look wicked this year, but why does it have to be all happening when classes start? I know some other uni’s have it the week b4 lectures and that would rock…. A new approach for Oweek 2008 perhaps?

Bring it on.

Luv, Bea

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CITIZENS ADVICE BUREAU Cowshed from 11am – 2pm daily during semesters or phone 838 4466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB. By the way, Mildred is not covered.

The Act doesn’t cover goods sold at auction (or by tender). If you buy at auction you should inspect the goods before you start bidding. When the hammer falls, it’s yours!

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Record crowds flock to the biggest Christian music festival outside USA

By Jonathan Creighton Pester. Photos by Alison Matthews

The Parachute music festival put on another phenomenally successful performance this January.

PHOTO FROM PARACHUTEMUSIC.COM

Hamilton’s Mystery Creek played host to a record 27,500 on the Sunday night ‘Super Service’, headlined by Grammy award winners Third Day, accompanied by Australian worship leader Darlene Zschech and renowned speaker Joyce Meyers.

Eager ticket holders crammed the gates early on Friday morning, hoping to find an ideal place to stay in what was to become a tent city.

By late afternoon the temporary residents flooded the Mainstage to see local funksters Late 80s Mercedes, punk rockers Mumsdollar and New Zealand hip-hop pioneers Nesian Mystik.

Headlining that night was Falling Up, an electronicallyinfluenced rock quintet hailing from Oregon, USA. The young band

(one of their guitarists is just 17) gave the crowds an unforgettable concert, ranging from hard-hitting raw rock to atmospheric electronica.

Spacifix kicked off Saturday night that ultimately belonged to Australian-born pop rock solo artist Rebecca St. James and rockers Thousand Foot Krutch. St. James’ powerful vocals and experienced backing band thrilled crowds for 45 minutes before chants of “T F K!” brought out the Canadian quartet.

Each day produced extraordinary temperatures, reaching well in the range of 30 degrees, pushing many to leave the grounds for pools back in Hamilton or take the plunge at the water slide.

Due to the record-breaking numbers, organisers added an alternative option to the evening of worship, bringing back Falling Up and Mumsdollar in the Palladium. The Mainstage, home to Third Day, was crammed with fans and was standing room only from front to back.

As Dave Dobbyn rounded out the festival the skies opened, leaving the loyal fans to brave the bad weather. For an hour rain soaked Mystery Creek, turning tents into swimming pools, and breaking dozens of chairs and gazebos.

The Palladium then turned into a makeshift refugee camp for stranded campers where, as part of the code of conduct, boys were separated from the girls to sleep.

The weekend was marred by the death of a young Christian youth leader after jumping off the Narrows Landing, a bridge 2km from the site. It is the only death to have linked with the festival in its 16-year history.

www.nexusmag.co.nz

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

17

Feature

BY NICK MAARHUIS

I

n december a group of

Waikato University engineering students headed over to Aussie to race their custom-built race car. Built to a strict budget in their spare time (and in time that should have been used for studying and assignments), it wasn’t even fully finished when put on the aeroplane. Nonetheless, the confident team headed over to Swinburne University in Melbourne, where the car had been delivered, to do last-minute finishing touches before taking the racer to the track for the competition.

Day one scrutineering was fierce and some modifications had to be made for the judges to allow it through. Certain teams didn’t have as much luck though, such as Malaysia. They had to literally replace every bolt in their car (then had to go home when they couldn’t get other problems fixed too).

Team India didn’t have much luck either, and it must have been disappointing to come so far but not compete at all.

On the other end of the spectrum was ‘TU-Fast’, the German team who had a half-million Euro budget! Needless to say, their car was built rather well. Although, the WESMO red-with-gold-pearl paint job was turning just as many heads at the event.

There were also many other extremely professional looking cars from Australia, and one all the way from Tokyo.

After the scrutineers had scrutinised came the noise test, where the exhaust 18

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

A TILT TABLE IS USED TO DETERMINE THE CAR’S GRIP AND CENTRE OF GRAVITY, AS WELL AS TO CHECK FOR FUEL LEAKS. WESMO WENT PAST 70 DEGREES WITHOUT SLIPPING OFF.

noise is recorded and cars with over 110dB fail. WESMO scraped through by an ants’ member with 109.8dB. The first driving event was a brake lock-up test, which was done on the first attempt, allowing the team to progress to the skid pad and acceleration events. The skid pad is a figure-eight time trial which judges the vehicle’s cornering ability. The WESMO team beat Auckland University for this event, which was a happy surprise.

The competition was all going well (except for the unrelenting flies that would try to climb up your nose like you’re a child on a world vision ad) until five laps into the first endurance event, when disaster

backpackers in Melbourne city, which was a nice place, and did great $7 meal and beer combos. The team travelled to the track each day in a twelve seated bus, which turns out can actually fit twenty two people quite comfortably on the odd occasion. The slightly overloaded WESMO-bus was made better by cheers at anyone doing a hookturn in the city. For the uninitiated, a hook turn is a crazy Melbourne phenomenon which people that want to turn to the right across a tram line, pull to the left, and stop in front of traffic coming from the left, then go when the left people’s lights go green.

These ‘hookers’ as they were named, were great entertainment, and, after a few close

Five laps into the first endurance event, disaster struck... struck! The rear brakes were completely locked on and the car had to abort the race half way through. Back in the pit tent, it was decided that the problem could not be remedied properly. But instead of calling it a day, they drained the fluid from the rear brake line and went back out with just the front brakes. Slightly hazardous, and ‘possibly’ not approved by race scrutineers, WESMO continued and entered the second endurance event with only front brakes, and no stop light (it was run off a pressure switch from the rear brake), and finished the competition in one piece.

As can be expected with a team trip, there were a few other things going on other than the racing. WESMO stayed at a

misses with trams and traffic, even the WESMO-bus became a true Melbourne hooker.

Thick white foggy skies from the forest fires in the state couldn’t put a downer to the good times, nor could the stonking hot 34 degree days. Especially on the final day, when the beers were flowing and WESMO headed off to the after event function.

WESMO were to learn that there was to be no Best New Team Award, but continued to party anyway. After a little while, someone in the WESMO team thought they’d spice the party up a bit with a spot of arm wrestling.

In a bar full of about five hundred (mainly male) engineering students, there was a pretty decent sized crowd around the arm www.nexusmag.co.nz

wrestling table, with wannabe toughguy Aussies lining up to get beaten by the Kiwis (well, Waikato anyway). With battles lasting as long as ten minutes, the trash talking was coming out and the poker faces were on. After dominating the arena, WESMO headed to the dance floor to rip up some moves there. Another odd phenomenon in Melbourne, was the

it on Monday nights at 10pm.

A completely new and better car for 2007 is being designed and built at the moment, with a change of powerplant, new chassis, suspension, and body design. It will be much lighter and faster and will be a great platform for future years of Waikato engineering students to build off or improve on. A marketing

various car shows and related events.

Thanks to all our sponsors, who without their support and generosity the project could not have been possible - Waikato University, SKF, Brebner Print, Proform, Stainless Design Ltd, Sharp Concepts, Loctite, GP Honda, Fortress Fasteners, Fletcher Easysteel, Ayres Composites, HCD Flow Technology, ABB, Link

One team member did quite well with a 38 year old MILF, after mistakenly telling her that he wasn’t a student but a blimp pilot visiting from NZ amount of people that would go out all night on a Sunday, like it was a Saturday.

One team member did quite well with a 38 year old MILF, after mistakenly telling her that he wasn’t a student but a blimp pilot visiting from NZ. The final result was 19th placing out of 27 teams. The majority of teams were competing for their fourth, fifth, and sixth years in a row, and had optimised their cars over that period, so WESMO were stoked to turn up for the first time with a freshly built and relatively untested car and walk away ahead of many very competitive teams.

position for WESMO is still available on the team, so if you’d like to help out send an email to the team leader Nelson at nrm8@waikato.ac.nz. Look out for the 2006 car at the O’week Trolley Derby, when it does an exhibition run down the track. After that it will be used as a Waikato Engineering recruiting tool (for school visits), and for displaying at

Electrosystems, Flowmaster, Special Effects Panel and Paint, Telecom, Ullrich Aluminium, Goodyear, Odyssey Batteries, Research Motors, Arrow Wheels, Race Brakes, PlaceMakers, Studentville, and thanks to Swinburne University for their hospitality in Melbourne. * Waikato Engineering Students Motorsport

Many valuable lessons were learnt from the trip, such as; •When building a car from scratch to race internationally, get more than ten hours testing before shipping it over.

•Emotional lines like ‘there’s nothing like the view of the city from a blimp’ really pull mature women.

•When in the hot, dry, Australian countryside, invest in a large brim hat with corks dangling from it to keep the flies away.

•The Chilli Peppers’ song ‘Hey-Oh’ sounds very similar to ‘Ka-el’, so should be sung as such when ever it goes on while on trip.

Hamish from the C4TV show, Studentville, was there filming the racing, the dramas, and the craziness. A dedicated episode to Formula-SAE Australasia will be aired in March or April some time so watch out for www.nexusmag.co.nz

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

19

Photos

READERS WIVES

The Jig On Sunday PHOTOS BY PETRA JANE

Sunday 28th of January saw the annual exodus of Hamiltonians to the famous Jig On Sun day. The tenth edition of Te Pahu’s mini music festival featur ed the usual lineup of aft ern oon entertainment – swimming , blackboard concert, pot luc k dinner, folkdancing – before sidling into the ‘Noisy Bands’ par t of the evening. On the bill were The Deadly Deaths, Reade rs Wi ves, Cosmic Ska Child and Joh nny Fist and the Dot Dot Do ts.

There was time for a cou ple of excellent sets from the former two bands, and then the re was the rain. Thunder, ligh tening, and terrifically heavy aweso me rain. Cosmic Ska Chi ld were on form and got a euphoric crowd dancing in the del uge for some time before wrapping up due to technical difficulties . At this point people realised the y were quite wet. The les s adv enturous went home to Hamilton and the more adventurous we nt mudsliding on the lawn am id the thunderstorm before retiring to flooded tents or watch ing Johnny Fist perform in the lounge.

A tremendously enjoyable and memorable evening.

JOHNNY FIST...

... AND THE DOT DOT DOTS

JIG GOERS ENJOYING

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THE RAIN

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

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The big event is happening on Saturday, 3rd March at around 11 AM. Grab all your mates and come watch the carnage!

Also on hand will be local Hamilton bands providing musical entertainment.

Ladies! Register now at the Orientation Store to enter the Miss Trolley Derby contest! Some great prizes on offer and not to mention the Miss Trolley Derby crown!

Ya just gotta be there to experience it!

noodlebar Hamilton East · 361 Grey St · Open 7 days, 11 AM – 10 PM

Uni student deals!

Show your 2007 Student ID to receive either:

1 Spring Roll or 1 Bag of Prawn Crackers Absolutely FREE with the purchase of any wokinabox!

Conditions apply. Offer valid from 01/02/2007 to 31/12/2007. Not valid with any other offer. Spring roll and bag of prawn crackers valued at $1.50 each.

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ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

21

BY ROZ CASE

T

his is your first year in a flat. you’re excited.

You’re thinking this is your first real year of freedom.

You’re sure that the people you’ve decided to live with are fabulous and you’re all going to get along like a house on fire.

The real likelihood, however, is that flatting is going to be a nightmare that you grin and bear for the next few years. And when your days of flatting are over, you’ll look back and say “how the hell did I do that?

And why the hell did I do that?”

It would be helpful if you knew a few things in advance. Even if you’re not planning on paying attention to any of this wise advice, maybe you’d like to cut out this article and hide it under your mattress to act as a reminder about how I told you so…

The Legal Basics Be very clear about your status within the household. If you’re going to be on the tenancy agreement, then you can at least be assured that some of your rights are covered by that document. If you’re just going to be a fly-by-night flattie, then you have very little protection.

You also have very little responsibility in this situation, which can be nice as well.

Whose name will the power, gas and phone be under? I’ve always thought it was a good idea to split these responsibilities and then you can all hold each other to ransom. If one person takes all of the utilities under his/her wing, then you can usually guarantee they’re going to get completely done over at some point in the tenancy. I swear, the first four years after I left school were spent listening to people tell me about how they had been sent to Baycorp because their flatmate ran up an $800 phone bill calling a lover in Australia.

While dividing the responsibilities for these things doesn’t completely eliminate the possibility that you’re going to lose some money somewhere down the line, it does prevent the onus falling entirely on one person’s head.

Some landlords are difficult and seem to make a living out of ripping tenants off (especially when it comes time to get your bond back). There are a few things you can do to protect yourself. Firstly, take photos of the condition of the house when you first move in and ensure that these are dated and filed away for later reference. At some point in your flatting life you’ll be glad of this insurance. I’ve met several landlords who have tried to insist that their current tenants have caused damage which was plainly obvious at the beginning of the tenancy. Rest assured, your landlords don’t trust you and you 22

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

don’t have much reason to trust them either. It’s a mutually hostile yet strangely beneficial relationship.

It’s also worth checking to see whether your landlord has actually lodged your bond with the Department of Building and Housing. They are required by law to send your bond money to this agency to hold until the end of the tenancy. You’d be amazed at how many landlords spend it on fishing rods instead.

Fighting and Fucking There are two things you can guarantee in a flat, and it’s not death and taxes. You can pretty much guarantee that most of you will fall out with one another, probably quite early in the tenancy. And you can put money on someone screwing the crew. In some flats, you can put money on everyone screwing the crew.

We’ll deal with the fighting issue first. Well, there’s no real way to deal with this. What will most likely happen is you will come home one day and discover that someone is shitty with you. Whatever the reason is, you will think that it is completely bizarre and unfounded.

It could have something to do with eating something in the fridge that you weren’t supposed to eat or sleeping in a bed with someone you weren’t meant to sleep with. You’ll quickly get defensive and try to get as many flatmates on your side as is humanly possible. The person you’re fighting with will do the same. The argument will end with either one of you moving out, or a drunken reconciliation. At this point, someone else in the house will start fighting and so the vicious cycle continues.

I’m afraid I don’t have any advice on how you should deal with flat fights, except to say that you will probably gain all the skills you

You might think that sleeping with your flatmate is one of the most intelligent choices you’ve ever made in your life.

Certainly it will seem that way for the first three days. www.nexusmag.co.nz

You’ll probably choose this period of your life to make things really difficult and become vegan or something. That rules out mince. And without mince, you’re pretty much screwed. need for dealing with difficult flatmates around the same time that you get married and buy a house. When you’re mature enough to realise that flatting is a completely insane mode of living, then you’ll be mature enough to handle an argument in a sensible manner. In the meantime, you should just spread mean gossip about the herpes medication you found in the bathroom cabinet – to whom could that possibly belong?

Now, on to the sex bit. You might think that sleeping with your flatmate is one of the most intelligent choices you’ve ever made in your life. Certainly it will seem that way for the first three days. Life was so complicated before you could just roll down the hallway and in to a lover’s embrace. It all seems so terribly grown up. Just a few months ago you were at high school - now you’re waking up together, making breakfast while gazing longingly at each other across last night’s dishes, sifting through mail and complaining about the power company together. But don’t worry, the romance won’t last long.

After about a week, one of you will be completely over the other and trying to work out ways to get yourself out of this tangled mess. It will be a painful and prolonged break-up, made more ugly by the fact that it will only really end when one of you brings someone else home.

There will be tears and arguments, and the other flatmates who were unfortunate enough to witness your sexing spectacle will shake their heads and mutter “you should never screw the crew”. And that old adage is true! A painful flattie break-up is the best-case scenario.

How do you get food inside you?

Finally, we must focus on food. If you don’t eat, you will fail all your papers and also die.

You’ll probably choose this period of your life to make things really www.nexusmag.co.nz

difficult and become vegan or something. That rules out mince. And without mince, you’re pretty much screwed. Not only is spaghetti bolognaise one of the easiest and tastiest meals in the world, you’re also supposed to become a pie expert during your time as a student.

Leaving mince out of the equation makes things difficult, but not impossible. Some mince-free meal ideas include:

Special Rice This is a delicacy in some countries, so make the most of its availability and affordability. This recipe involves cooking some rice, scraping it out of the pot (even the bits which are stuck to the bottom – hopefully they’ll be crunchy) and drowning it in soy sauce. Delectable.

Special Pasta If you have any love for yourself, you will make your own pasta sauce from scratch, although it’s unlikely that you’ll ever have the appropriate ingredients. An amazing tomato pasta sauce can be whipped up with: • a lot of olive oil • heaps of garlic • a couple of tins of tomatoes • some dried basil, if you are the sort of plebeian who doesn’t have an array of fresh herbs on your balcony • a dribble of red wine (as if you’re ever going to have left over alcohol in the house, but whatever...)

Sizzle the garlic in the olive oil for a couple of minutes but don’t brown it. Add the dribble of red wine and let the alcohol reduce for a couple of minutes. Quickly biff in the tomatoes and the basil. Let it all cook for 20-40 minutes. It will be amazing. Add some pasta and voila! Amazing special pasta for everybody.

Microsoft Word is trying to tell me that last sentence doesn’t make any sense but I’m going to ignore it for now.

Cheese on toast If all else fails, always have some cheese and some bread in the house. If you’re going to feel poor and starving, you might as well feel like an exotic Italian peasant or something. A $4 bottle of cooking wine will add to the sensation of true bohemianism.

Some people like to grill their cheese on toast in the oven, but I prefer to add slithers of room temperature cheese to freshly toasted bread. Of course, if you’re vegan then you can’t eat this either. Try some hummus. Why are you so determined to make things hard for yourself?

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

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O’Week Events ‘For a detailed rundown on daytime activities and all ASB ORIENTATION 07 events, check out the Orientation Guide and Activity Book!

Fluoro party at Bahama Hut. Just like all the other days, starts around 11 PM. Put on your brightest clothes, maybe even stock up on some flashing lights and glow sticks and dance your brains out.

Monday 26th February

Friday 2nd March

Beach Party with Live DJ at Don Llewellyn’s on Campus. Free entry, starts around 7 PM. Beach Party at Bahama Hut from 11 PM onwards

Tuesday 27th February Comedy Gala night at Don Llewellyn’s on Campus with comedians Jan Maree, Dai Henwood, Sam Wills and Gish. Starts around 7 PM and door sales for $10 and are very limited (if any at all!). If you can’t make that then there’s… ... a Live DJ outside Don Llewellyn’s on Campus from 7 PM. Get your groove on!

From 11 PM is the Back to School theme party at Bahama Hut

Wednesday 28th February Toga Party at Don Llewellyn’s on Campus with Late 80s Mercedes performing. Starts around 7 PM, costs $10 for entry.

Beerfest party at Bahama Hut from 11 PM onwards.

Thursday 1st March dDub, OdESSA and The Aviators are playing at Don Llewellyn’s on Campus.

Door sales are 15 bucks and it starts around 7 PM. OdESSA are a mighty fine band.

Blindspott and local bands æther and 8 Ball Rattle will be rocking the crowd at Don Llewellyn’s on Campus. Tickets are $25 for an awesome night of moshing and drinking.

Retro party at Bahama Hut with some sweet sweet Jelly Wrestling. Get your jelly on and krump to some retro tunes.

Saturday 3rd March Coca-cola Trolley Derby time trials start at about 11 AM. Racing will start at 1 PM and some musical entertainment provided by local bands such as Dynamo Go and The Deadly Deaths. Miss Trolley Derby contest will be held at 2 PM and the final races at 3 PM. Awards ceremony at 3:30 PM Drum and bass masters Concord Dawn are supported by d’n’b prodigies State of Mind. They’ll be making Don Llewellyn’s on Campus thump from 7 PM and you can bump and grind along for a mere $25.

The ZM Big Man on Campus final will be held at Bahama Hut from 8:30 PM and there will be loads of prizes being given away as well as good times to be had by all.

Then from 11 PM is the Bahama Hut First Birthday Party! Celebrate 1 year in Hamilton for Bahama Hut and show ‘em how much you love ‘em.

Sunday 4th March

From 11 AM (?) Bahama Hut are hosting an O’Week recovery party. We’re not sure what this entails but it sure sounds intriguing.

Coming Up Thursday 8th March Mole Music presents The Vacants, Mint Chicks, New Caledonia, Whipping Cats + MC Stormtroopa at the King’s Arms (Auckland)

Friday 9th March Mole Music presents The Vacants, Mint Chicks, New Caledonia, Yokel Ono + MC Stormtroopa at Ward Lane (Hamilton).

Every Thursday The Blues Jam Need an audience? Want to hear live blues? Come and participate in the Blues Jam. All welcome, both the pro and novice. Bring your instrument of choice and amp, the PA will be provided.

Prizes for participation. Tune into The Blues Room weekly radio programme on Community Radio for more details.

Held every Thursday at Biddy Mulligans on Victoria Street. Starts at 8 PM. Email thebluesroom@gmail.com or ring Nate on 0272 480 856 for more info.

Art Exhibitions Hope Street to NO-BRAINER ‘A kinda retrospective of John Reynolds’.

Runs to March 23rd. At Ramp Gallery (Wintec), Gate 2, Collingwood St. Open Monday – Friday 12pm – 4pm.

Got something on that isn’t on here? Want something on here? Email us at nexus@waikato.ac.nz or submit an event via our website at www.nexusmag.co.nz 24

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

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What’s the secret of scholarship success?

By the Scholarships Office

If you’ve already won six scholarships in the last six months, and you’re wondering just how ostentatious a car you’ll be able to drive to Uni without creating undue jealousy among your fellow students, this article’s not for you. However, if you’re yet to taste such sweet success and are willing to invest a bit of time and energy, read on.

In the Scholarships Office, we deal with a lot of scholarship applications and applicants. The obvious result is a huge amount of behind-the-scenes work to be done on our part, but a useful byproduct is the wisdom we gain; we find that it goes nicely with our good looks, charm, and humility.

Always with your best interests at heart, Judith has prepared summaries of our collected wisdom and listed them under the ‘Useful Links & Advice’ section of our website www.waikato.ac.nz/ scholarships. They cover such topics as searching and applying for scholarships, writing covering letters and CVs, the dos and don’ts of interviews, and tips for and about referees. Check them out.

By now you may be feeling a little cheated. Perhaps you’d hoped that reading this article would cause scholarships to start dropping in your lap. Perhaps you were secretly wishing that we’d do all your scholarship searching for you, fill out the forms on your behalf, destroy the applications of your competitors, sing your praises to the Selection Panel, and hand you the money on a platter. Yeah right!

So what is the secret of scholarship success? Well it varies from person to person and from scholarship to scholar ship. But we know how you can improve your chances. Here’s some advice: • Subscribe to the Scholarships Update e-newsletter • Make searching for scholarships in the Update and elsewhere a monthly ritual all year round • Ask someone who loves you to search too – a caring aunty can be worth her weight in gold, literally • Create a ‘scholarship application portfolio’ so that you can quickly update documents, e.g. your covering letter, rather than starting from scratch • Ask your referees to keep their references on their computers for easy updating too

Some Scholarships Open Now Look at em all. If you’d like to know more, or apply, go the Scholarships Office site (above).

• Kevin Roberts Sustainable Enterprise Ideas Scholarship • Tearaway University of Waikato School Leaver Scholarships • BNZ Undergraduate Scholarship • Brian Smith Memorial 499/599 Scholarship • C R F Heinold Memorial Award • Gemini Trust Disability Scholarship • Genesis Energy Environmental Science Scholarship • Michael Caiger Scholarship • Tau Rua Mano Undergraduate Scholarships • Te Tohu Paetahi Entrance Scholarship • Te Tohu Paetahi Retention Scholarship • BNZ Postgraduate Scholarship • C R F Heinold Memorial Award • FASS Honours Awards • FASS Masters Thesis Awards • First NZ Capital Scholarship in Finance

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ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

• Golden Plover Award • Kerby Bursary Graduate Music Scholarship • Michael Caiger Scholarship • Nancy Caiger Graduate Scholarship • Postgraduate Fees Scholarship in Community Management • School of Law Graduate Scholarship • School of Law Kamira Henry (Binga) Haggie Scholarship • Te Pua Wananga Ki Te Ao Graduate Excellence Awards • Trust Waikato Student Community Grants • Waikato Police Research Scholarship • Whanganui River Enhancement Trust Scholarship • First NZ Capital Scholarship in Finance • Te Pua Wananga Ki Te Ao Postgraduate Excellence Awards

• And always, always, always read the regulations carefully – if you’re working hard enough to get good grades, then you’re way too busy to waste time applying for a scholarship when you aren’t even eligible!

Okay, we admit it, the secret of scholarship success is … you! You make your own success by searching for scholarships regularly and thoroughly, by gaining the kind of grades that make your granny proud, by maintaining ongoing and meaningful community involvement, and (when success doesn’t come easily) by being determined to try, try, try again.

We’ve seen many fine applicants miss out by the narrowest of margins. Some of those hardy souls pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and start all over again. We’re pleased to report that their perseverance sometimes pays off, big time!

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Send ‘subscribe’ in the subject line to scholarship@waikato.ac.nz.

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See that ‘Useful Links & Advice’ section of our website if you need help getting started. www.nexusmag.co.nz

Money Matters For Second Years*

HOW TO SURVIVE NOW THAT YOU’RE INDEPENDENT

By Brie Jessen

O

kay, so you’re second year

now. You might have spent your first year in the halls and now you are faced with the potentially daunting task of fending for yourself.

You have to cook your own meals, clean your flat, put up with unusual flatmates, go out clubbing, and not to mention study, all without breaking the bank. Of course, whichever way you go about things you are going to have to spend some money; that is (unfortunately) unavoidable. But there are some simple ways to keep your spending on track.

Budget, man Firstly, draw up a budget. Yes, it sounds intimidating, but it’s actually pretty easy.

The easiest way is to go to www.sorted.org. nz - they have a student budget calculator which does all the complicated stuff for you, so all you have to do is stick to it. A budget may not sound overly exciting but it is useful.

It makes it much easier to divide up your student allowance or part-time job wages to cover food, rent, power, phone bill and all the boring stuff, while still making sure you have some money left over for fun.

Next, draw up a meal plan for your dinners. It may sound way too structured but it doesn’t have to be. Having an idea of what meals you are going to eat for the week makes the supermarket shopping much easier, and it helps to stop you spending extra money which you may not be able to afford mid-week. Even if you just decide what to eat but don’t bother with deciding which night you are going to eat on, it can make a big difference, and not just financially. I have found that a meal plan

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stops me just picking at food and having bad dinners. If I already have an idea of what to cook, I usually actually cook it.

Farmers’ Market = cheap stuff My third suggestion is that for buying fruit and vegetables you go to the Hamilton Farmers’ Market. It’s on in the Wintec car park every Sunday from 8 am – 12 noon.

And before you stop reading and go ‘Yuck!

Vegetables!’, don’t. It might be something your mother would say, but fruit and veges are actually good for you, and besides, if you eat enough of them you can stop yourself getting sick and save on doctor’s bills! The Farmers’ Market is on every Sunday and

with no fees. Most (if not all) of the major banks offer special tertiary packages that have no account fees, so if you are being charged fees, check out whether you are eligible for a student account. As long as you’re a full time tertiary student, there is no reason why you shouldn’t be entitled to one. You can then look around at the banks’ stalls during O’week and choose who has the best bribes to tempt you with.

Know your limit Finally, when you go out to town, decide what your spending limit is, and don’t go over it! Alcohol is one of the easiest things to spend money on without realising how

r Fruit and veges are actually good fo of you, and besides, if you eat enough sick them you can stop yourself getting and save on doctor’s bills! offers a huge range of fresh produce (being fresh, it will keep longer in your fridge, so if you don’t use it straight away you won’t have to throw it out). The Market has everything from eggs to bread (although it usually goes fast so get there early) to fruit, herbs, and even fresh juices. And the price is between a third and two thirds what you would pay at the supermarket. It might be a pain to get up before lunchtime on a Sunday, but given the amount you can save, I think it is definitely worth it.

Let a bank bribe you into having a student account Another important thing to do is to check the conditions of your current back account.

As a student you should have an account

much you have spent. Deciding on an amount before hand can stop you spending more than you intended. One way to make absolutely sure you don’t spend too much is to take a certain amount in cash with you into town, and leave your wallet or purse behind (just don’t forget your ID). That way, the temptation to spend more money isn’t there and you don’t run the risk of having your cards stolen. However, many may find that a little extreme. But basically all I’m suggesting it to be careful with your money when you go out so you don’t spend the rest of the week regretting how much money you spent last Saturday night. * First years may read also.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

27

Keeping you informed about your union www.wsu.org.nz

WSU PRESIDENT

VICE-PRESIDENT

Sehai Orgad

Moira Neho

Kia ora Tangatas!

Long time no see, eh? Well I hope we are all back safe and sound and gearing up for a fabulous year ahead of us.

So what can we expect from the WSU this year? Well, for starters, a seemingly brand new, fresh , young and pretty good looking executive to get you all hot and bothered about as you spot us around campus this week in our O’week T shirts. We should all have EXECUTIVE plastered on the back, so if you happen to see us please do come and say “wassup” and ask us about what we are planning for the year ahead.

Kia ora Whanau!

For those of you who don’t know, “whanau” means family, and that means YOU. Welcome to a fantastic year at Waikato and welcome to the WSU family! Now that you’re whanau, it gives you special privileges. You have a team of dedicated executives working hard at the WSU fighting for your right… to paaarty! Yes, to party but also other student issues like - fees (yes boring but important); to act as advocates for you if you find yourself in a sticky situation and you’re not sure what to do next; to make sure that the University hears what students want, need and feel - from students!; to enhance your campus life by providing fun events throughout the year.

Speaking of fun events, WSU O’Week is going to be HUGE. We did it because you’re whanau and we love you (thanks Elmo for all the hard work). We have an awesome line-up of bands including big names like Blindspott, Concord Dawn, OdESSA and Spacifix to name just a few. The Comedy Gala will give your abs a workout, while the Undy 500 is bound to raise a few… eyebrows, and the Trolley Derby will probably keep the medics busy and the crowd laughing.

The point is, there’s something for everyone at WSU’s O’Week, even an all ages alcohol-free party (no… not free alcohol, read it again). If you’re too shy to enter the games and competitions, don’t worry, come along anyway and have a laugh at your mates. If you’ve got no friends, now is a perfect time to make some so get down to the O’Week shop, grab an O’Week pack (these are flying out the door so get in quick), and get yourself ready for a week long party!

We’re here for you whanau, so don’t be strangers… come up and see us sometime!

Down to business Some of you may have seen in the papers or have heard through the pipeline that the University has just recently voted in Mr. Jim Bolger as the new Chancellor. Funny thing about this actually, cos I am stoked, and some people may have thought that being the Pres of the Students’ Union, I would be more politically inclined to throw a bit of a tanty at this decision which was voted on by council. But I’m not. I am very pleased at this exciting opportunity to work with someone with so much experience and connection not only in the political arena, but also in the business and professional field.

This appointment has clearly raised the standard of this university, and emphasises the element of excellence that this university has to offer. I am also grateful to John Jackman, who has stood aside to allow this strategic move to happen, as well as playing an integral role in setting up this unique opportunity for the University Council.

Well, I’m gonna finish up there with all the serious side of the WSU for now. I don’t want to distract you at all from the fabulous events and gigs that you HAVE to be a part of this week for Orientation. Stay good, and DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE.

Student events coming up...

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Māori Student Hui

ASB Orientation ‘07

WEDNESDAY MARCH 7TH

26TH FEB – 3RD MARCH

All Māori students are invited to attend a hui to discuss the establishment of a campus-wide Māori roopu. At 1 PM over at the A Block Atea.

See the guide on page 24 for details of all the awesome events happening this week.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

www.nexusmag.co.nz

Māori Students’ Officers

Tatiana Hohepa and Elaine Kameta Kia ora e te whanau, nga mihi nui, nga mihi aroha hoki kia koutou katoa mo tenei tau e rua mano ma whitu.

Just a quick “hey hey” from the two most important peeps on the Waikato campus for this coming year. That’s right, you got it – the one and only, oops, I mean the two and only Maori Student Officers, Tatiana and Elaine - otherwise known as Tats and Eez! Anybody and everybody, even if you’re a nobody (just jokes), don’t be shy to pop in to our office located in the Student Union building and introduce yourselves.

We’ll be more than happy to sit down, have a chat and help you out in any way we can.

Don’t forget to check out the Orientation Guide and Activity book to see what’s happening for the week and keep an eye out for us at the various events (we accept bribes).

No reira – kia pai to koutou wiki O’WEEK me to koutou tau 2007!

Karawhiua!

ROCK ON O’WEEK.

Nexus note: Due technology gremlins, alien intervention or editorial negligence (quite possibly all three), Tatiana and Elaine were mistakenly omitted from the WSU Student Diary list of WSU executives.

We apologise for this, and can vouch for the fact that they really are the Māori Students’ Officers. We did DNA tests and everything.

www.nexusmag.co.nz

MATURE Students’ OFFICER

Vince Malcolm-Buchanan If this is your first day on campus (or first day being away from home?), and you’ve arrived straight into the O’Week festivities, then this might well be a slightly daunting event.

However, it need not be! To all returning students, welcome back mates! We’ve returned to the fun, frivolity and exuberance of a new year, so let’s make it an excellent one!

Should you need to dash away for free refreshments (tea, coffee, and milo) then make yourself comfortable in the ALMS Common Room up in the Cowshed (Room G14) by the WSU Building. There’s a microwave available to warm up meals, recliners and work/dining tables, a bed (in case you need a power nap), and we’ll be implementing an exchange library to go with our current magazine collection.

A.L.M.S (Adult Learners and Mature Students) Association will be seeking reregistration in order to operate barbecues, and facilitate fund raising events as well as other private functions throughout the

year. Please sign up in order that we have an influential membership (which makes a difference when seeking WSU financial support!).

Throughout 2007 you’ll see your Executive and Volunteers involved in everything from O’Weeks, barbecues, sports events, academic challenges, political debates, and so forth, so feel free to introduce yourself and become a part of the ‘bigger picture’ on campus. We look forward to catching up with you all, either throughout the FASS Facilities, SUB, ALMS Common Room, the wider university campus or during the great events lined up for 2007.

The WSU Executive is what YOU make of it. We’re here to represent and assist ALL STUDENTS’ INTERESTS. Let us access resources, academic knowledge and life experience to better facilitate your opportunities and experiences over this following year.

Disabled Students’ Issues Officer

Jeff Hawkes 1 in 5 on Campus

Who’s got what planned for O’week? WSU has got it sorted.

Friday Night is looking like a rocking evening - Aether, 8Ball Rattle and Blindspott at Don’s Bar, followed by some jelly wrestling and/or one of Hamilton’s hardest rocking bands, Chuganaut at Axcess bar.

Just across the road and over the carpark from the jellyfest at Bahama Hut. But who could go past Concord Dawn and State of Mind ?

The swing factor Late 80s Mercedes brings on sure does it for me, looks like being a long week.

But back to the 1 in 5 theme - if anybody needs to access Disability Support Services, get on down to student support and just ask. If you need any support at all, I am happy to help.

Tune into Contact 88.1 FM

What have I been up to? In brief: I have been elected to a position on Achieve, the National Post-Secondary Education Disability Network Incorporated.

Our President put my name forward at the end of last year, so that gives Waikato students an opportunity to have some input at a national level. Achieve is responsible for a document Kia Orite Achieving Equity: The New Zealand Code of Practice for an Inclusive Tertiary Education Environment for Students with Impairments.

As for Orientation, get out and enjoy, but please do try to maintain a happy attitude, and watch out for over indulgence impairing tomorrow’s performance. That’s something I cannot help out with. Have a massive time, and enjoy the great networks you are guaranteed to develop while in university.

Hamilton’s only University Student Radio ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

29

Introducing the WSU Exec 2007 CONTINUED

EDUCATION OfficerS

Whetu Taukamo and Ben Delaney education@wsu.org.nz Kia Ora Tauira Whetu & Pene would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to ’07. Not only is it a brand new year but we are new brand people. That’s right - after much discussion we have brand ourselves the improved Eduwhets (ed-u-fets) and Edupene (ed-u-pene). Our mission this year is simple to make education fun, fair, and fully an experience. Along with our colleagues at Fun HQ we want you to get involved in all the events we do. We intend to bring back our regular stunts section to raise the profile, and don’t intend to lecture you on the benefits of education as you’re already here! Yup, for us it’s about taking the ‘e’ for education and making it ‘e’ for experience.

We shall also be hassling people who don’t make education easy, effective, environmentally sound, and excellent. Other people who we shall pay a visit to are those who don’t get down with the kaupapa of matauranga. We also intend to go to a number of classes but will not go to your classes for you or sit any of your exams or do your study, ‘cause we find it hard to do our own.

Environmental Officers

Katy Dimmendaal and Claire Taylor environment@wsu.org.nz Hiya! We are Katy Dimmendaal and Claire Taylor, your WSU Environmental Officers for 2007. We’ve come into this position with a number of goals to better the campus environment. At the top of our list we aim to increase the amount of recycling that students and staff take part in around the uni. In order for this to occur we need you ALL to get involved by thinking twice before throwing your rubbish in the bin.

We are always available via e mail at environment@wsu. org or you can come in and see us at the Waikato Students’ Union building. We would appreciate any inputs and suggestions on how we, collectively, can make our university environment cleaner and greener.

We’d also like to encourage you to use public transport or bicycles. This is an effective way of saving money whilst caring for the environment. Remember, the environment sustains our lives so give it the respect it deserves!

CAMPAIGNS Officer

Olivia Beattie campaigns@wsu.org.nz What an amazing year 2007 is going to be at Waikato with your new WSU exec at the helm. As Campaigns Officer it is my job to rally your support for student issues and organise WSU or NZUSA (New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations) campaigns. I will also make sure to organise heaps of fun activities on campus so if you have any ideas or want to help out you can let me know by emailing campaigns@wsu.org.nz or dropping by to see me at the WSU building. Make sure that you make the most of your experience as a student at Waikato and join in wherever you can. I look forward to making this an unforgettable year!

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ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Sport and Recreation Officer

Glen Delamere sport@wsu.org.nz Welcome to all new and returning students. Glen Delamere is your Sports and Recreation Officer for 2007. In this role I will assist you to the best of my ability and try to answer any queries that you may have regarding sport/recreation on campus. If I can’t be of help I will find someone who can, and we are fortunate enough to have many wonderful people available who will be able to help you out. We also have many clubs on campus which we can put you in touch with.

Tauranga Student Representative

Anthony McKenna tauranga@wsu.org.nz Finance Officer

James Greenless finance@wsu.org.nz Women’s Right’s Officer

Ana Moriarty womens@wsu.org.nz

Wanna Represent?

Interested in being on the Executive this year? The positions below are still open. Contact the WSU for information on the by-election.

•Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) Officer •International students’ Officer www.nexusmag.co.nz

Gay Times

by Daniel and Stephen

Welcome to a new year!

So you may be all settled in your hostel/hall/flat but have something else on your mind. Things can be a bit difficult when you are gay and just starting out in a new place. Should you tell anyone? Would anyone care? Are there others out there?

The answer to the last question is a definite yes, even in Hamilton! There are several queer groups, one of them being right here at uni. Askew is a group here on campus for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, takaapui, fa’afafine, and queer students, staff and supporters at Waikato University.

We are a UniQ group, a network of GLBTI groups around the country.

Askew meets once a week in our yet to be determined QueerSpace. We organise events, chat, help each other out and we will probably become your new best friends. Unfortunately, last year’s QueerSpace has been turned into an office so stay tuned for news of our new meeting place.

Though, just because we don’t have one doesn’t mean we can’t organise anything. So here’s what we have planned for O’week.

Clubs Day - Wednesday We’ll be setting up a table somewhere around the Village Green where you can meet us, take some brochures and read up on the latest Express magazine.

Bowling - Thursday, 8.30pm A social bowling session. Come along to the SkyCity Bowling Lanes and get to know each other.

Queer Beer - Friday, 3pm The regular favourite of last year is returning! Come along to the Don Llewellyn’s on Campus after class, have a beer and some general cheer.

You can be the first to know about new events, news or word from other groups in Waikato by signing up to our mailing list. Just go to http://groups.yahoo.com/ group/askewwaikato and sign up (and remember that you don’t need a Yahoo! email address to join our group).

So, go out there, enjoy your O Week, and at least meet us between classes on Clubs Day (there may be other clubs out there that interest you). www.nexusmag.co.nz

NOTICES

Send your student notices to nexus@waikato.ac.nz by 12pm Tuesday before the next issue, or submit via www.nexusmag.co.nz.

Free for students, $$ for others.

Beautiful old character house on Cambridge Rd seeks inhabitants.

Open-minded, tidy and harmonious people preferred. The house is well set back from the road and surrounded by a spacious and prolific garden. 3 double rooms available, $80 each + $15 power/ph/internet.

If you’re after a unique place to live, within walking distance of uni, contact Jessica on 021 411 582 or confustulation@gmail.com.

2-bdrm + 1-office brick house available in Hillcrest from late April or early May 2007 for a year. Two double bdrms, large sunny living room, seperate dining, double garage. Quiet no exit road. Friendly neighbours. Nice yard. Close to University. FULLY furnished. $290 per week + expenses. Pls ring 856 4193.

Māori Student Hui All Māori students are invited to attend a hui to discuss the establishment of a campus-wide Māori roopu.

Venue: A Block Atea Time: 1pm Date: Wednesday March 7th Waikato Tennis Association are running the upcoming Procircuit International Tennis Tournament and are looking for students to act as volunteers at the event.

Volunteers would receive free entry, lunch, shirt and hat and good work experience for their cv. If you are interested please contact Sam on 856 8181 or email: sportsforce@ waikatotennis.co.nz Can’t find remote. Reward offered.

Answers to Mooty.

021 356 241

Tired of normal sex?

Try swinging.

Hamilton based swinger meets more details: hamswing@gmail.com Dance classes on Campus (Unity Dance Collective student club) Weekly dance classes are held in the Academy of Performing Arts Dance Studio. Membership with Unity Dance Co is $20 per semester and you can attend as many classes as you wish.

Come along in comfortable loose clothes and bare feet.

Monday 9-9.50am Open warm up and training classes beginning 5th March.

Tuesday 4.30-5.30pm Introduction to contemporary dance classes beginning 6th March.

Thursday 9-10.30am Contemporary dance technique classes (previous experience required) beginning 8th March.

Gamer looking for questing partners for MMORPG game “9 Dragons”.

Pigeon message WangWang in game if you want to team up.

Tired of swinging?

Try normal sex.

Hamilton based normal sex meets more details: Ham.Normal@gmail. com Scientist looking for attractive female with large assets to pilot giant robot mech. A penchant for wearing tight fitting clothing without a bra a must and also must be trained in the arts of action posing (not completely required as we can train you up). Girls who wear glasses a bonus. Email enquiries to mechsciencedude017@ gmail.com.

My farts are really stinky. - Matt

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

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Big Gay Out

By Rocky

Welcome Home Wednesday 21st Feb

Photos by Jeff Hawkes and Nexus Students checking out the campus early last week were officially welcomed by an official delegation and drumming. The Wai Taiko drummers kicked things off in style – look out for more entrancing performances from these guys during O’week. Welcoming speakers included Vice-Chancellor Roy Crawford, WSU President Sehai Orgad and Hamilton East National MP David Bennett. O’week organiser Elmo intrigued the crowd with his rundown of the upcoming O’week festivities and covers band Missing Link rounded off the afternoon. There were free sausages too, courtesy of a WSU BBQ. 32

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Unlike the Big Day Out, which was filled with rock stars and over priced beer tents. The Big Gay Out is filled with gays and lesbians, from bisexuals to the trans-gender to celebrate the diversity of the gay community in New Zealand.

Held during the Hero Festival (February), The BGO was for most the highlight of the whole event. Organized by the New Zealand Aids Foundation and Marquis Condoms, the event was mostly used for the distribution of Safe Sex Messages and the awareness of the increasing threat of the AIDS/HIV epidemic.

But the day was anything but a health class back in high school. Dance tents, craft stalls, motor bikes and drag queens as far as your eyes could see were the main highlights of the day and kept every one in happy spirits.

Groups of families (both homosexual and heterosexual) also attended in large numbers and in the efforts of bringing up children to be accepting of all diversities, children also represented a large number during the day.

It was also great to see gay youth being so open about who they are and supporting organizations such as Rainbow Youth.

Though the day was mainly for the gay community of New Zealand, it was great to see families, heterosexual couples, religious folk and major political influences such as the Prime Minister, Helen Clark, leader of the opposition, John Key, and Auckland Mayor Dick Hubbard attend and support the day and the community which is a part of every city.

The day ended with local GLBT bars, Family and Supermarket hosting a recovery party.

The Hero Festival finished Saturday the 24th with a dance party in Auckland.

For more information check out: www.heroparty.co.nz and for photos of the Big Gay Out, check out www.gaynz.com.

www.nexusmag.co.nz

By Jess Wilson

I

t’s that time again, which

means for most people only one thing. O’Week. A week of live gigs, crazy games, themed parties, more drunken students than the night of your high-school ball and enough giveaways to keep even the poorest student hugely liquored-up, if they choose.

For those of you who’ve lived through an ASemester O’Week, you’d know that O’Week provides the opportunity for students to go out and arm themselves with enough O’Week, Orientation and alcohol-related shirts to clothe them the entire year, if you know where to look. For everyone else, we decided to supply you with your very own day-by-day guide to freebies and drink deals in O’Week.

Monday First up, hit the WSU Village Green at noon for the chance to participate in the First Years’ Initiation and score free beer. Then head to the Hillcrest Liquor King where they’ll be having a Red Bull F1 Simulator (with the person with the fastest lap time winning great prizes), and the Red Bull promo girls in store with deals on Red Bull.

It’s the Beach party at Don Llewellyn’s so there’ll be a bikini and boardies contest, Corona gear up for grabs and prizes for other games throughout the night. They’ll also be giving away a DVD player this week, so make sure you’re heading there each night because you’ll need 6 stamps to be in the draw to win.

Bahama Hut will be following the Beach Party craze, giving away lots of t-shirts and Hawaiian leis as well as an air-hockey table and they’ll be hosts for the night to the biggest foam cannon in Australasia as well as a spa pool, for those of you up for a midnight swim. Don’t forget The Outback, who’ll be doing drink deals, giving away O-Week shirts as well as the chance to win www.nexusmag.co.nz

a flat load of rental appliances free for the year.

Tuesday For students hungry for a good (free) meal, make sure you check out the Hell of A Pizza Competition run by the WSU at 12.30 PM on the Village Green. The Red Bull F1 Simulator is back in store at Liquor King, this time with the Coruba Gold Girls. It’s the Retro party at the Don’s with more prizes up for grabs and the Back to School party at Bahama Hut, where they’ll be doing sweet deals on Coruba and Jim Beam RTDs. The Outback will be giving away their last 750 Tshirts to the first 750 through the door from 8pm as well as giving away a free shooter to everyone dressed in theme and the chance to win major prizes like chopper bikes.

Wednesday Today and tomorrow it’s time to show what a true Waikato supporter you are and head to Liquor King (again!) for their ‘You’ve been Draughted! Boot Camp’. There’s awesome Waikato Draught gear like hats, dog tags and shirts up for grabs as well as deals on Waikato Draught. Don Llewellyn’s will be hosting a Toga party and giving away Opal Nera shot glasses and at Bahama Hut it’s Beerfest! First 500 through the door score a free stein and there are $8 stein refills all night as well as a pig on a spit. It’s the Beach Party at The Outback, where they’ll have Corona deals, giveaways and another pig on a spit.

Party!) and at The Outback, it’s the Outback Beerfest and feast. Get a Stein filled with Export Gold or Tui for $10 (first 800 people) and enjoy the huge BBQ and feast on offer and $8 Stein refills ‘till midnight.

Friday Friday gives us the Orientation Race, Trolley Derby and Jelly Wrestling at the Village Green, with various prizes on offer for each, followed by a free BBQ and beer (or non-alcoholic alternative) at 2.30pm to celebrate ‘surviving One Whole Week of Uni’. The Bullet Girls at Liquor King with lots of freebies in-store and Bahama Hut will have deals on Jager all night. O’Week’s Hottest is on at The Outback, with huge prizes huge such as $1000 cash and Texas Radio gear as well a free Jim Beam or Midori RTD for Outback passport voucher holders.

Saturday

Thursday

Saturday brings us to O’Week’s biggest day.

Kicking it off we have the Waikato Draught Chiller Survivor at Liquor King, with 10 people braving the cold of the store’s chiller for the chance to win wicked prizes. Last person left scores two dozen Waikato for twenty weeks! Girls and guys both wanted, 10 people max so register early in store.

Head to The Outback from 8-10 to score a free handle of Tui and all you can eat Buffet and make sure you stick around ‘till 11pm when they do the O’Week Passport Draw, where those with at least 3 Outback stamps in their passport go in the draw to win one of five fridges full of sponsor’s product.

At 11.15 there’s the Burger Fuel Body Painting competition on the Village Green, with huge cash prizes for first, second and third place. At 1pm the Waikato Draught Student Olympics are on, with a $500 cash first prize as well as plenty of spot prizes and free beer for the other contestants.

Bahama Hut will be giving away sunnies, t-shirts , zinc and glowsticks (it’s the Fluoro

Also, throughout the week make sure you head down and see the cool guys at the Orientation shop on the Village Green, where each day they’ll be having free drinks, water, sausage sizzles and other cool things available, as well as giving away everything from toothpicks and kumara to stereo systems at the lunchtime events.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

33

Jerk Jokes I started a new specialty shop with just garden tools and female dogs, but the Yellow Pages people didn’t really like my ad for Bitches and Hoes.

A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group. After the story was read she gave the children a work sheet to do.

While they were working she heard a little girl say very softly “damn!”

The teacher leaned over and said quietly, “We don’t say that in school.”

The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she said, “Not even when things are all fucked up?!”

An elderly couple was attending a town meeting, when about halfway through she leans over and says, “I just did a silent fart.... what do you think I should do?”

He leans over and replies, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. “I’ll bet you $10 he’ll jump,” said the first guy.

“Bet you $10 he won’t,” said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge.

The second guy hands the first guy the money.

“I can’t take your money,” said the first guy. “I cheated you. The same story was on the five o’clock news.” “No, no. Take it,” said the second guy. “I saw the five o’clock news too. I just didn’t think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!”

Send your lame (or awesome) jokes to nexus@waikato.ac.nz 34

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

Poetree Mourning a Friendship

The relationship of space

A thousand happy memories, Shattered by one sin.

A friendship murdered, By my hands.

Sorrow burns within.

Space is my friend it is also my enemy

A hundred favourite moments, Devoured by my lust.

A friendship slaughtered, By my hands, Along with every ounce of trust.

A dozen fond emotions, Corroded by one act.

A friendship severed, By my hands, From conviction I had lacked.

Desire to fill Desire to fulfil Desire What is it I truly desire?

The vacation of positive The erudite negative This space is black This space is white This space is empty It is my enemy and my foe - Kibbins

One ounce of hope, Imbedded in my tears.

A friendship cradled, By my hands, That I always hold dear.

- Jason Tolley

Pour out your heart to us or just mock people in rhyming ditties. Send your poetree to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

Competition

Win MxPx Tickets!

Go in the draw to win 1 of 2 double passes to MxPx’s Hamilton show (value $100 each) by sending us your favourite joke. Email nexus@waikato. ac.nz by Thur 1st March. www.nexusmag.co.nz

Vitalisa O-week wellness wisdom

By Isa

Congratulations, you are about to spend a week celebrating the beginnings of a splendiferous semester, a semester you have committed to spend exploring the mystical wonders of knowledge.

Give your lecturers a better first impression than that guy sleeping in the aisle painting his text book with drool. If you want to make it to lectures this week and stay coherent while still enjoying the abundant offerings of Orientation 07, here are some tips which may aid you in your hedonistic quest

Hangovers Prevent hangovers by eating well before you start drinking, you will handle the alcohol better if you have food to line your stomach and sustain you, just be aware if you eat too much you may not have time to digest it before it comes back up. Keep those brain cells bubblewrapped by consuming antioxidants like those contained in dark coloured fruits and vegetables, alpha lipoic acid or a couple of garlic cloves, these can help to protect your brain and other cells in your body from the damage caused by binge drinking.

While you’re out choose drinks that have less refined sugar. Mixing spirits with fruit juice holds a glimmer of hope that you might just replace some of the vitamins you are losing. Common sense dictates that anyone interested in looking after their wellbeing should be aware of the impaired judgement brought on by alcohol consumption and in accordance, wear suitable clothing and footwear and abstain from anything one would not be inclined to indulge in while sober. Treat your body as it would normally like to be treated - alcohol may provide temporary feelings of invincibility but you will still feel it tomorrow. If you drink till you feel a positive effect and then top up www.nexusmag.co.nz

occasionally you will find it much easier to recover and are less likely to be the embarrassing centrepiece of Nexus’ Busted! Alcohol is a diuretic and will dehydrate the body and rob you of your electrolytes; potassium and sodium, so try to keep hydrated while drinking, and, if you can’t source these essential minerals at the time, be sure to stock up in the morning.

The mourning after Hangover remedies usually involve replacing your depleted vitamins and minerals; these include B complex, Vitamin C, and electrolytes, as mentioned above. Meat and yeast products are rich in B vitamins. Vitamin C is a more complicated issue than most people think. Ascorbic acid, the most active part

available at your local health shop, can help to replace the serotonin that has been scandalously interfered with by your inner alcoholic. In large doses alcohol is also liable to upset your immune system, causing a reaction similar to a mild allergy or intolerance, and the yucky effect you feel after drinking may be partially due to this phenomenon. Be aware of your body and it will tell you what to pursue or avoid.

The best remedy is always sleep and plenty of it, so try to fit this in somewhere between the late nights and lectures.

Focus on enjoying yourself and feeling good because worries and stress only put more pressure on your body.

Look after your sexual health by using suitable protection: a crowbar, pepper spray, and chainsaw; and disinfecting

Drinking is hard on your brain; it takes around three weeks to recover from one a night binge. of the larger C complex counter-intuitively flushes the vitamins out of your body so refrain from C supplements and seek out the natural form as found in most fruit. Conveniently, bananas and orange juice are also two reasonable sources of potassium. Sodium, as you may know, is actually the secret alias of your every day table salt (sodium chloride).

Naturally salty foods like meat, seafood and unrefined sea salt will be your best bet because it works better with its other mineral salt friends. The after-effects of alcohol impair your balance, co-ordination and temperature regulation so bear this in mind as you carry out your daily activities.

Brain no like drink much Drinking is hard on your brain; it takes around three weeks to recover from one a night binge. 5HTP supplements,

the sticky surfaces of certain bars before letting your skin come into contact with them. If you want to avoid the jaunty frolic to Student Health to let the doctors examine your unmentionables do not take pick anyone up from bars that play pop/hip-hop, are crowded with sluttylooking people, have the aforementioned sticky surfaces and offer free groping upon entry, These places are nice to visit for anthropological research but guarantee a nasty surprise in the morning if frequented for too long. While this rule excludes half the bars in town, it is a lesson you can choose to learn the easy way or the hard way. Hamilton is famous for its Chlamydia outbreaks, consider yourself officially warned. Have an awesome week stay safe and spread love, not STDs.

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

35

BY VITAMIN C

BY BURNSY AND THE BOGAN

With the recent summer release of the 2007 edition of the popular online RPG waiKato, it was deemed appropriate to publish a weekly walkthrough to help some of you new players through the game, especially those of you who’ve transferred over from the HighSchool servers. The software is still available for free during O’week at the Magic Gateway, and the first 500 players there after 12 noon on Tuesday the 27th will get a free waiPod! waiKato is unique in that your character class depends on which guild you join. For the first instalment we’ll start off with a quick rundown of the classes: • Arts This is a common choice of class, mainly because of the variety it offers. Most players will play this class for a couple of years, and then upgrade to an Arts Graduate. Arts Graduates are generally well rounded characters, and as such can move about the worldmap at leisure, forming a party when it suits them - making them ideal for casual play. This however comes with a difficulty to secure jobs with reasonable rewards, and an Arts Graduate will often find himself staying at an Inn, with a low inventory. Other options include becoming an Emo kid, feared for their obscurely dangerous attacks such as ‘Closing the Goddamn Door’, which not many people have ever heard of, or a Drug-Addict, who can utilise trances in battle, but are reliant on Science Students being in the party.

As an alumni and a post grad student, we’ve been around…make of that what you will. As such, we feel that that there are a lot of things that we wished we had known right from the start in order to take full advantage of the “University Experience”. So for all you newbies we’ve decided to pass on that knowledge. Think of us as Yoda or Tyler Durden or some combination of the two: a small, wrinkled, anarchistic figment of your imagination.

• Sports/Leisure This class tends to focus on developing high Strength or Speed, and is usually the powerhouse in battle, relying on other classes to carry out actions that require Intelligence or Dexterity. The biggest downside for them is their weakness to status changes like Intoxication, or SmallPenis-Syndrome. This can be compensated for by engaging in lots of fights to keep Esteem stats high, and later in the game by investing in the ‘Lowered Skyline’ special item.

• Comp/Sci Sit inside all day. Not a very thrilling choice. As a comp/sci student you probably won’t have ever “quested”, even by the time you are level 20.

• Teaching Usually involves hanging around level 5 and level 6 players. Great fun I guess, you know, if you’re into that kind of thing. There are however strict rules against “questing’ with players lower than level 16, so keep it under wraps.

A different kind of clubbing On the Wednesday of O Week there’s a day called clubs day.

Sadly this does not involve beating to death small animals.

What this is, however, is an often sadly overlooked chance of getting involved with University sponsored social clubs, ranging from the Medieval combat club, to the snowboarding club, to fraternities. On the day, representatives from various clubs all put up stands to give people a chance to have a chat with them and possibly join. Bonuses include sausage sizzles and being able to do it all drunk. However, I do not recommend engaging in medieval combat while drunk. One thing that is not commonly known is that the University gives money to the clubs, and the more members they have, then the more money they receive.

Upon this clubs can also receive grants from the WSU for larger activities - for example the Metal club received money to put on a gig in town last year.

Alternatively, you can start your own club. Get 15 members (uhhh uhhh you said member, you’re pretty cool, Beavis) and you qualify as a WSU affiliated club. Then you can apply for some ‘administration money’ and possibly get money from WSU for Cultural Grants, as Burnsy said. Then you can also put on your CV that you were the President of a University Affiliated Cultural Club. Unless you start up a Child Molesters club or a Beating Old Ladies club, in which case it might pay to keep that to yourself.

Bottom line: Joining a club is a cool way to meet new people and get involved in University Life. Unfortunately we were late bloomers, and wish we’d known all this earlier. Widen your social group and meet more people who are into whatever you’re into.

Check out http://www.wsu.org.nz/clubs.php for more information.

Enjoy that for now, next week comes the rest of the classes, and coming soon is a guide to getting “quests” at the taverns (assuming you are over level 18, of course).

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Los Libros

Miscellaneous Musings from M-block

First week of University and the Library is probably the last place on your mind. However, there are benefits to be had by giving up a few minutes of your time.

I should be making sure that you are aware you can set up your username and password at the Information Commons on Level 1, and that you can save money on ludicrously overpriced text books by using the ones we have available. This is particularly advisable as most you will not be able to sell later given that new editions are often published every year (editions that rarely have anything of added value and appear to be just an excuse to fleece you of more money). Also, there are various library tutorials and tours you can sign up for. They may not be overly exciting compared to getting all bloody and bruised in a mosh pit, but the times we offer should not conflict with such refined activities. And a short tutorial on using

BY KRANG Hello denizens of modern Earth. My name is Krang and I come to inform you of happenings on our planet. I was once a human being but through a process of meditation, elimination of self fulfilment and opening my third eye through the process of taking copious amounts of marijuana, I now see and hear things that no regular person could just experience with their limited amount of opened chakra paths. I will take it as my duty to the human race to specifically inform you of how “The Man” is controlling the oblivious masses and my information will be like a spear that the soon-to-be enlightened masses will hold and strike at the side of the money-hungry corporations. Except ours won’t be a stab to see if they are still alive, but a stab to finish off the job!

The most recent discovery I’ve been enlightened to is how The Man is encouraging gang culture. They are putting money into advertising campaigns, movies, music, fashion -- all to fuel the gang culture and to encourage crime. “Why are they doing this?” you may ask, and a valid question to ask it is indeed.

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library resources can save you hours of fruitless searching when it comes to assignment time. Time saved getting the right resources may even save you from a dreaded ‘incomplete’ if you are rushing against the clock on the day an assignment is due.

In addition to the dry academic advice mentioned above you may also want to turn to the Library to help make sense of the anarchic unleashing of libidinal energy that often accompanies first year students during O’ Week. Those who want to wax philosophical on the behaviour of their peers may want to borrow Houellebecq’s Les Particules Élémentaires (we also have an English translation) and arm yourself with an eloquent literary critique of liberalism and how it has resulted in market forces having a nefarious influence within the sexual domain. Or if metaphysical issues are not your forte, and you are merely wondering why it now stings to pee in the morning, use the ‘sexually transmitted diseases’ subject heading and have fun self diagnosing. And find out exactly why that seemingly innocuous pill resulted in an extended journey through cosmic landscapes of shifting non-Euclidean geometry with ethereal entities scanning your cerebrum by using the ‘hallucinogenic drugs’ subject heading.

Remember, we are here to help, so feel free to ask for advice at any of our Information Desks. Although you may want to see one of the Campus Doctors if that diagnosis is not looking so good. www.waikato.ac.nz/library

With gang culture, the governments and corporations don’t need to pay people to roam the streets and control the populace like they do with their police; in fact, they brainwash those oblivious individuals weaned on ING!!

SKUW NT R A the gang culture to PAY A !!W ERNME them! Kids with their G-Unit GOV KED BAC N FEAR shirts and hats, FUBU ATIO gear, listening to 2PAC and POPULROLLERS!!!

Notorious BIG; every one of CONT these things is a big middle finger from The Man to those unwitting sheep that are now their population control.

Speaking of Notorious BIG and 2PAC – who were also placed in their positions by The Man – were “killed” (more to be revealed in another column in the year) to further incite hatred towards the police who were instructed by The Man to not solve their crimes. What happens is that the rift between gangs and police is made larger to help solidify that fear people get when they think of any either party.

It’s all happening in front of us! Don’t be blind to The Man and how they are controlling you. I’m doing my best to sow the seeds of discontent. If you ever want more info, you’ll just have to research it; there’s only so much I can tell you…

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

37

Monthly horoscopes BROUGHT TO YOU BY GURU MOONBEAM “The guru, oh yeah, he’s awesome; more insightful than L. Ron and Jesus fused together”* -Tom Cruise

“…stunningly accurate, and superlatively attractive.”* - Oprah Winfrey

Aries: Nice going genius, you failed all your Summer School papers, again.

It’s not looking good for A Semester either.

Not to worry, there is plenty of work available for such truly unique and gifted individuals.

It is time to begin a new career anyway. I sense plumbing in your future. Go on now, unclog the U-bend of oppression one turd at a time, and plunge your way into greatness.

coming Monday morning (1.04am), success is sure to be yours.

Sagittarius: With the payment of fees, textbooks, accommodation and an assortment of other items, finances are at an all time low. At least Nexus is free; and the website forum is a good place to ease your woes – it may even point out vacancies from time to time in the ‘notices’ section.

Pisces: I would put off those expensive renovations you have been thinking about. Your partner is about to buy a puppy with irritable bowel syndrome, and a taste for Italian leather. It is also a prudent move to lock away your expensive decorative miniatures.

Taurus: You will meet the man/ woman/boy/girl/transgender/ extraterrestrial of your dreams. After three amazing days they will elope with your best friend’s uncle of questionable sexual persuasion, and dubious moral character.

Cancer: Your lucky numbers are 1, 3, 8 and 1,234,456,785,433,973 Leo: You may need some leverage in the upcoming promotional interviews scheduled midway through the month. If you position yourself near the dumpster with a disposable camera at the petting zoo this 38

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

*Moonbeam may have edited quotes slightly, or in this case, made them up

Virgo: Strength of character and resolve will be tested this month as your vegetarianism becomes problematic.

As a favour for an old friend, Jim Bolger’s first act as new Chancellor will be contracting Big Ben pies and Guinness as the only vendors on campus.

BY THE PANTHER Tip#1: What is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a freight train and can leap tall buildings in a single bound? Well, that’s Superman, but if there were a metaphor about strength the answer would be the Panther. During the holidays a car hit the Panther in a tremendous collision and this was the result of the crash.

Aquarius: I have spilled my tequila slammer on my star map and everything has become smudged beyond comprehension. No celestial guidance for you this month.

Libra: After misinterpreting advice to ‘expose yourself to the community’, you will find yourself in hot water. In a cruel twist of fate, your defense “I love children” will also mistakenly be taken as literal by the judge and jury.

Gemini: Pluto has become aligned with Saturn and Nebula ZX-98a.#4.

Under normal circumstances this would bring untold good fortune. Seeing as Pluto’s status has recently been under debate however, nothing good can come from this event. The next alignment of this nature will occur in 2856 years.

Capricorn: Have you been making friends with various fruit and vegetables just like the advertisements on TV have instructed? I hope so, because the only action you’ll be getting this month will involve produce in various shapes and forms.

Oh ….yeah this is meant to be a tip about becoming muscular. Um….get hit by a car?

Tip#2: To gain impressive results at a brisk pace, muscle fibres must be broken at a rate than the body can repair within a day. This is called the optimal break rate. If you wish to gain large muscles one should do low reps of heavy weights, but if you want lean muscle one should increase the number of reps with a lower lifted weight..

So what, I can only do comedy?

Well screw you, I’m versatile. This is an informational dramatic tip that will help you…in life.

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Comic

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39

D.I.Y. personalised nonsensical play for the flat or home

BY MISS PIP SIX

• Two people to be the actors/players.

The Play

• Costumes made out of bed and bath linen or whatever you can find around the flat (tie towels around your heads etc…)

Player Two: Finally after 10.

Landed on the planet 1.

2. .

• A lounge or bedroom to be theatre (write a sign outside it saying “Theatre” just so people in doubt know the truth of the matter).

Player One: We will conquer this dimension of 2. grasp for too long a time!

You will need

Now you’ve selected your players each take a pen and answer the following questions (for yourself). Each player fills in the blanks in their lines using the simple-to-follow numerical system. Then all you need to do is to rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!

Questions 1. Your favourite vegetable: 2. A household appliance: 3. Favourite animal: 4. Colour: 5. Nightmarish character that scares children (e.g. space bat): 6. Item of clothing: 7. First word you said when you were little: 8. Disliked film actor: 9. Favourite fruit: 10. Time it will take to finish your degree: 11. An item in the nearest bin: 12. A type of dance: 13. A sport: 14. A descriptive word: 15. Insect: 16. What you want to be when you grow up:

40

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

years in space we have landed. in the warped dimension of

! It’s evaded our

Player Two: The ground here appears to be sticky (feet stick to ground etc…) like 8. ’s tongue after eating a 9. .

Player One: 7.

I am a 1.

4. , feel my 6.

3.

. .

Player Two: Oh no! The space flight has affected your brain! You’ve gone mad!

Player One: 9.

9.

5. ! But I am brave just like 8. eat you eat me, or gobble me up like I was a 1.

! You’ve turned into a and I will not

Player Two: And I won’t let you kill me, cos you’ve gone mad! I have no choice my friend but to kill you with my powerful 4.

14.

11. .

Player One: Haha 14.

Die by my 11.

5.

!

.

(This next section will have to be self choreographed. Player One fighting using their powers of 12. . Player Two using the powers of 13. .

Role dice to see who wins and who loses. The next lines are dished out accordingly.)

Loser: Thus I die! I die die die like a 4. to go up to the heaven made of 6.

15. .

Winner: Alas. I came here as two. And will leave here as one. But first I will conquer this planet alone. I will survive to rule it as a 16. overlord of doom!

THE END. (Feel free to add or adlib lines as you see fit, maybe during the fight scene insults about each other’s mother, favourite pet, or film may be appropriate?).

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Hooray for Bikes!

RIDE IN THE INAUGUR AL TOUR DE TOKI. ASK BAR STAFF FOR DETAIL S.

TOUR DE TOKI 2007.

Go for… orange?

Take a detour into the Outback this Saturday night and you’re likely to stumble across New Zealand’s own version of the Tour de France – the Tui Tour de Toki.

The first-of-its-kind, relay-styled challenge matches student teams of four in a race around the country – on stationary bikes.

Beginning and finishing at Mangatainoka (Toki to locals), home town of the iconic Tui brewery, competitors ‘virtually’ peddle their way around New Zealand landmarks

on exercycles. The quickest team at the Outback wins a place in its regional finals – and the chance for each team member to don the legendary ‘orange’ Tour de Toki jersey.

If you missed the heats on Sunday 25th Feb, you’re a bit late now, but you can check out the finals of the Hamilton Tui de Toki on the 3rd of March. It kicks off after 8pm, so come along in force to support your mates and watch the fun, preferably dressed up in your best cycling gear – vests, gloves, bicycle clips. Who will be the champions?

WHICH BAR?

24th February – 4th of March is National Bike Wise Week, and, coincidentally, the time you start uni is a handy time to dust off your bike. If you live within 10 kilometres or so of the university, cycling regularly is easy. Further away is fine too, if you’re hard.

Cycling will save you money, make you fit and add years to your life due to not having to stress about finding a carpark. Get a good lock though, and lights if 2am post-study rides are on the cards.

So, a Wise Week for biking. The ‘only nationally co-ordinated week promoting biking as a fun, healthy means of transport, recreation and bike safety’. Anything happening in Htown? Well, on Wednesday morning you can score a free feed if you turn up at Civic Plaza on a bike between 7am – 8.30am. They have ‘skill stations’ too where you can check your bike wiseness. If you think waking up that early during O’week is just unrealistic, celebrate the week in your own fashion by hitting the streets on your wheels or entering the Tui do Toki – see below.

COMPETITION

Wanna win some beer?

Nexus has a mighty 10 cases of Tui (24 cans in each) to give away to celebrate the Tui de Toki hitting town.

If you’d like some Tui as post-O’week recovery lubricant, or to get in the mood for Saturday’s racing, all you have to do to enter is send us a picture of you on a bike. It can be a tricycle, a 10 speed, a BMX or a motorbike – up to you. Our 10 favourite pics will win a case of Tui, and possibly appear in Nexus. Email or pxt your pics to nexus@waikato.ac.nz by Thursday 1st March 4 PM, and include contact details.

Note: 18+ only please (ID required for pickup).

www.nexusmag.co.nz

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

41

CD Reviews

CITRIC

BY M EMERY Another exciting year of local music is upon us with a handful of shows and releases occurring recently and in the near future. For those not in the know, recent base of Mole Music operations, The Castle, in Ward Street, has been closed by the fuzz and it is very likely for good. Rumour has it you are not allowed to run a bar with minors on the premises and an expired liquor license. Ah well.

The scattering of Mole shows that are upcoming have all been transferred to Hamilton’s long standing home of rock and rolling, Ward Lane, aka The Pulse bar in Ward Lane. Upcoming shows not to be missed are: æther CD release party March 3rd with guests. æther finally release a long gestating EP of tunes and play what I hear may be their final gig.

The Vacants CD release party coming in March. The Vacants finally spurt their full length at us courtesy of the champions at Mole Music. MC Stormtroopa will be destroying rebel forces through verse and Sunny Tokyo will performing rock music with instruments. Also some other band called The Mint Chicks is on the bill.

Amy Racecar/Meat–Bix dual CD release party Friday 16th March at Ward Lane. Hamilton party-poppers Amy Racecar release their debut album I hope planes fall from the sky and kill my landlord and controversial quirky Auckland pop idols, Meat-bix will also be dropping their debut release. Scum-core god, Servo will offer fresh beats for the jaded in addition to The Gills who will add a touch of jangle to the evening. Local whack-jobs Megaheroes will open proceedings at the princely time of 9pm. Get there early for cheap beer and tasty entertainment.

There are a whole bunch of exciting shows coming up for O’week. Check the gig guide (page 24) for dates and venues. The comedic talents are well worth checking out. The Mastermind comedian Sam Wills will be dropping in for O’week.

The New Caledonia recently released their debut album, Lotus, and shortly hop on a big plane to relocate to Melbourne.

These fellas will be missed round these parts but I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ll hear from them.

48May and Megaheroes have new albums due soon. One cost thousands of dollars, the other will probably be on cassette if they are lucky.

For all things live musicwise in Hamilton and the ramblings of a few local nut-jobs tune into www.htown.co.nz 42

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

What the sea wants the sea will have Sarah Blasko Australian chanteuse, Sarah Blasko, has produced a stunning follow up to her debut album, The Overture & the Underscore.

Recorded at Neil Finns’ roundhead studios in Auckland early last year What the Sea wants sees Blasko team up with regular collaborator Robert F Cranny. Like The Overture, What the Sea wants is coloured with subtle electronics edging out over traditional instruments. On her debut Blasko delivered most of her songs in a single tracked voice with scant harmonies. This time round she has a lot more multi textured vocal approach with songs including choirs of overdubs like she employed on her cover of Crowded House’s ‘Don’t Dream It’s Over’. The songs of What the sea wants come across a lot less poppy then her debut with The Garden’s End but there are still a decent amount of pop confectionaries, with recent Aussie single ‘Always on this line’ being another standout. Blasko’s music teacher in high school told her that she had no musical talent and would never go anywhere. Since then she’s toured extensively across the globe and recorded her debut in Hollywood. I think she’s doing okay. I’m not sure if this is available in NZ yet as I had to import mine from Aus but for fans of adult contemporary pop (it’s really better than that term sounds) this album is well worth getting.

MxPx Hit Htown Skate-punk is the name of the game at the Founders Theatre on March 5th when legendary US band MxPx play Hamilton for one night only. Support acts are All Left Out and Mumsdollar. With their latest album Let’s Rock charting strongly in the US and their eighth about to be released, MxPx are in the middle of a successful world tour.

Following a final Australian concert in Perth, MxPx perform only two New Zealand gigs - at Founders here and at Auckland’s St James Theatre one night later, before continuing to Austria, France, Italy and Scandinavia. Fans should catch them while they can.

MxPx have been a pop-punk staple since they released their debut Pokinatcha over a decade ago. Since then, they’ve released seven full-lengths, a live album, a slew of 7-inches and EPs, and the career retrospective, Ten Years And Running. Let’s Rock is a 12-song CD of unreleased and rare material stretching back to the 2000 Ever Passing Moment recording sessions.

Band trivia – the Christian-themed punk-pop outfit got their name after original monicker Magnified Plaid was abbreviated and misinterpreted on a badly handwritten poster.

Tickets for the Hamilton show are $49, and are available from TicketDirect outlets. To win MxPx stuff, turn to page 34! www.nexusmag.co.nz

Reviews

FILMS Blood Diamond

The Good Shepherd

Review by Joe Citizen

Review by Joe Citizen

Ever since the US woke up to climate change, issue-based films have become cool. Director Ed Zwick (who also made The Last Samurai, The Siege and Glory) has gone one better – Blood Diamond is a heady mix of politics and action. It’s the story of Solomon Vandy (played by Djimon Hounson), a fisherman in war-torn Sierra Leone who is forced to work for the rebel R.U.F. army digging up illegal diamonds, which are then sold to fund arms deals. He finds a huge diamond that he manages to conceal before the slave camp is attacked by government forces.

Meanwhile his son is kidnapped and forced to become a child soldier. Solomon is imprisoned and whilst in prison is accused by a surviving rebel who threatens to kill him. Also inside is arms dealer and South African mercenary Danny Archer –played by Leonardo DiCaprio- who offers to help Solomon find his find his family in return for the diamond. As the rebels invade, Solomon appears to have no choice but agree.

Before long, the pair are joined by internationally renowned journalist Maddy Bowen (played by Jennifer Connelly of Requiem for a dream and Labyrinth) who is looking for a scoop on these “conflict diamonds.” There’s an instant attraction between Archer and Bowen, but they’re on opposite sides of an ethical conflict and both want what they came for. There’s some great lines from the mismatched pair – at one stage Archer says, “I like to get kissed before I get fucked” and later on Bowen says, “three out of five ex boyfriends say I’m a crisis junkie, but maybe I just give a shit.”

Anyone who says DiCaprio can’t act hasn’t seen this movie. It’s time to move on from Titanic and admit he’s a master. Connelly is equally fine, acting with an elegance that lends natural grace to Bowen’s character.

This movie is both topical and brutally honest – the war scenes are like something out of Band of Brothers- whilst conveying some of the terrible reality that comes from the indoctrination of child soldiers and the mutilation of those that refuse. Even more terrible is the revelation that many of the diamonds end up on Western hands. As Bowen says “Westerners will not buy a diamond ring if they know someone has lost a hand to get it”, but how many of us know about it?

This absolutely stunning movie manages to both entertain and inform and is not to be missed.

I loved this movie and promptly walked out of the theatre to meet four people who found it too boring for words. Because I’m a terrific snob, I can only conclude that this is a film for people with enough patience to enjoy something that clearly doesn’t set out to be your usual run of the mill blockbuster. If you have the attention span of a gnat and want to escape your humdrum existence by watching complete drivel, then this is not for you. If, on the other hand, your attention span is able to contemplate intricate and subtle machinations in periods longer than a sound bite, then may I recommend a great piece of cinema?

This is the untold story of the CIA from before the Second World War to just after the Bay of Pigs fiasco. The main character is Edward Wilson (probably based on James Angleton, former head of counter intelligence from 1954 to 1974), who says little and in many ways seems to possess an almost inhuman remoteness from the rest of us. His entrance into the intelligence community is by way of joining one of America’s most secret societies – Yale University’s Skull and Bones club. (Which actually exists and has included many of America’s political elite amongst its members.)

As his life progresses through a series of flash backs and flash forwards, we begin to see his humanity manifesting itself through his desire to protect his son, who foolishly wants to follow in his father’s footsteps in order to gain his approval. For a man who is intimately involved with the labyrinth complexities of the cold war, the question soon reveals itself: who does he love more – his country or his son?

Performed by an outstanding cast (including Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie, William Hurt, Alec Baldwin and Joe Pesci) and lit by one of Hollywood’s most accomplished cinematographers (Robert Richardson, who’s done everything from JFK, A Few Good Men, The Aviator to both the Kill Bill’s), not to mention being produced by the granddaddy of film making himself, Mr Francis Ford Coppola, this film has a stupefying amount of talent involved with its production. The searing score, magnificently seamless sets and simply amazing camera work complete what is obviously a masterpiece. It is slow, it is cold, and for those of us who don’t want everything handed to us on a plate, it is very very good.

VILLAGE CINEMAS

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VILLAGE CINEMAS

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

43

Interview

CONCORD DAWN Don’t Trust Their Beer

Dawn Tuffery talks to Evan from Concord Dawn via email Nexus (Dawn): Gee, I’d hoped it was something to do with me, but Wikipedia tells me that “‘Concord Dawn’ is an arid, sparsely populated world inhabited mainly by farmers (with NZ accents). It is home to a number of Mandalorians, and the birthplace of Jango Fett. The planet is also home to the deadly Kratos Plague.” What was the particular significance of that planet to you guys? Does it mean you’re Super Geeks?

Concord Dawn (Evan): Yes. What can Waikato students expect from your show on Saturday?

E: A super heavy DJ set by yours truly.

Been playing loads of older tunes in my set recently too so if ya wanna hear some old shit don’t say I didn’t tell ya.

And how can punters prepare, if they’re really going to be dancing the whole time?

Push-ups, jogging..?

E: Cock pushups.

What kind of atmosphere do you try to create with your music?

E: We try to create a range of different emotions from uplifting triumphant kinda stuff to beating up your granny kinda stuff. I 44

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

like it a bit darker than most.

A friend observed that the indie/rock scene in NZ is dwindling, but “house/ techno/d+b goes off everywhere”. Would you agree with that, and if so, why do you think that is?

E: Well, fashionistas will be fashionistas.

Whatever is the trend will always be the mainstream.

Have you played with State of Mind before?

E: Only when their parents weren’t looking.

Saucy. How has the response been to your new album, Chaos By Design?

E: Great, I feel we created a good solid record with a wide diversity of styles and vibes on it. It was a fun record to write because we really push our boundaries further and in a different direction than we’re used to pushing them.

Have to admit I’m a CD virgin, so would be keen to hear what a “fearsome reputation for live performance” playing drum and bass involves.

E: I think that’s got to do with how much I drink before I play. Maybe the “fearsome” part is because the people in the crowd are

scared I’ll fuck up and fall over cos I’m too pissed.

Favourite country to perform in? Most memorable gig?

E: NZ is by far my fave and my most memorable gig would’ve been the Motorhead concert in Auckland in last year.

You’ve done a few O’Week tours – any good stories?

E: Students getting their titties out is always good, girls and boys of course. Apart from that I don’t really have any good stories that I can remember right now.

What student prank would you play if nobody was going to find out it was you?

E: Probably piss in a whole lot of cups and give it to many inebriated students foisting it off as beer.

Concord Dawn play Don Llewellyn’s this Saturday 3rd March. Get there, and get there early, as it’ll all be over by 10.30.

Rumours have it that CD will be playing a massive 2 hour set, so don’t be mooching round outside kicking yourself that you didn’t get a ticket. State Of Mind support, and it’s $25 or free for O’week pack ticket holders.

www.nexusmag.co.nz

In continuing support of Hamilton’s creative youth we launch Inspire 2007! Applications are now open for places in this exciting and unique programme.

Inspire is a young artist mentoring programme set to run in April; Inspire focuses on supporting our young emerging talent. The Hamilton Community Arts Council works to initiate and promote, support and fund the arts in our city and Inspire is yet another way we can do this.

Previously Inspire has nurtured rising actors, sculptors, designers, musicians, playwrights and more. This is an opportunity to gain indispensable shortcuts and industry secrets from those who have made the arts part of their career. Inspire opens doors for young artists wanting guidance in many areas such as Visual Art, Performing Arts, Literature and Arts Administration. If you know an aspiring artist who would be interested in this unique opportunity then spread the word!

Applications to the Inspire programme close on

28th February 2007!

Nexus Magazine is always on the look out for more contributors to add to its dedicated team. If you have a willingness to either write, draw, paint, investigate, proofread, design, interview, review, talk some smack, quiz, challenge, hang out, play loads of Puzzle Bobble and put in a worthwhile and valuable contribution to your student culture, then you’re just the person we want on our team!

Student culture on campus is the responsibility of the students. Nobody knows what students want better than students themselves. It’s our mission to help facilitate that culture by bringing the means to express student life and opinion in a popular and well-read publication available for everyone to read. It’s also our mission to boldly go seeking out new life and new civilisations, but we only have time for that on weekends.

We encourage everyone and anyone to contribute to the magazine. Looks, talents, age, place of education or technical prowess come second to initiative and energy. If you have the passion to do your best you will be a valuable addition to the team.

Nexus is dedicated to entertaining and informing the student populace. If you would like to join us in our worthy cause then swing on by the Nexus office located in the Students’ Union Building (Waikato Uni) and talk to us. Alternatively, go online and register your interest on the Nexus website!

www.nex usm ag.c o.nz www.my space.co m/nexus magazin e

For more information and application forms visit

www.hcac.org.nz Email info@hcac.org.nz or phone (07) 838 6424

www.nexusmag.co.nz

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

45

BY ROCKY

The Questions 1. Going to any O’Week events?

2. What are you studying?

3. Would you imitate Britney and shave off your hair?

Hemaima 1. Maybe, will see! dDub looks good.

2. Law and Maori. Double Major.

3. No! 4. Meeting people and doing my studies.

5 Mostly spent my holidays at the beach.

4. What are you particularly looking forward to this year at uni?

5. Did you go to any summer festivals?

Harrvi 1. Hell yeah....

2. Teaching, Primary.

3. *Cringe* 4. O’Week and Nexus - why do you think I’m at uni?

5. None, just went clubbing with mates.

Rocky

Jemima

Christian

1. Yeah, The Toga Party - boys in sheets are HAWT! 2. Human development and French. Double major.

3. Totally, but I’m not talking about the hair on my head *wink* 4. Meeting new people and catching up with old friends and lecturers.

5. Big Day Out and the Big GAY Out.

1. I’ll have to see if my mum will let me out those nights.

2. French, and the male anatomy!!!

3. Yeah, I already am bald (If you know what I mean).

4. Experimenting 5. Yeah, Mercury Rising, and I spent new years under the stage when Fat Freddy’s were playing.

1. I think so.

2. English and Education Studies.

3. No...hahaha!

4. Meeting new people, I’m from Germany so I hope I make loads of new friends.

5. Nope, I just came to NZ.

We didn’t get an accurate account of who is who so apologies if the face matched to the words is incorrect.

46

ISSUE 1 · 26 FEBRUARY, 2007

www.nexusmag.co.nz

Got any funny Busted! pictures you want to share with us?

Send ‘em to nexus@waikato.ac.nz and we’ll cram ‘em on here for you so you can point and laugh at ‘em with friends!