issue 11 by Nexus Magazine

www.nexusmag.co.nz

Down and Out:

25 May 2009

Student unemployment on the rise

ISSUE 11 25 May 2009

Credits: Editor: Joshua Drummond (editor@nexusmag.co.nz) Design: Talia Musson (graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz) Advertising: Tony Arkell (ads@nexusmag.co.nz) Reporter: Grant Burns (news@nexusmag.co.nz) Features Editor: Chris Parnell (features@nexusmag.co.nz) Sub-editor: Louise Blackstock Web Guru: Jed Laundry (jlaundry@gmail.com) Music Editor: Nick Johnstone (music@nexusmag.co.nz) Film Editor: Kirill Kruger (films@nexusmag.co.nz) Books Editor: Penny Wilson (books@nexusmag.co.nz) Games Editors: Antony and Chris Parnell (games@nexusmag.co.nz)

Contributors 8 Ball, WSU, Kirill, Chris Parnell, Vitamin C, Burton C. Bogan, Nick Sicklemore, Dr Richard Swainson, Josh, Grant Burns, Mammoth, HCAC, Flash Medallion, Blair Munro, Jason Sebestian, Penny

03 Editorial 05 Low Five 06 8 Ball 06 Caption Competition 08-14 News 14 Florian 14-16 Lettuce 16 Rant of the Week 24-25 WSU 27 Lord Bfulu’s Puzzle Page of Minimalism 28 Nexus Noticeboard 30 VitaminC 30 Your Physical Education 31 The Feminine Files

31 The Nerdary 32 Halls of Decadence 33 The Phat Controller 34 Movie Review 34 Book Review 35 Auteur House Presents 35 DVD Review 37 Citric 37 Album Review 38 Gigs 39 BUSTED

Wilson, Antony Parnell, Nick Johnston, Louise Blackstock, Hollie Jackson, Lord Bhfulu, Bauhaus, Lauree Cross, Teresa Hattan, Granny Smith, Yonny, Side Undydog, Marc Mcardy, WESMO Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) It’s more fun than sliced bread with a side of mixed metaphor!

Features: 17 Down and Out: Student unemployment on the rise By Teresa Hattan Wintec journalism student Teresa Hattan investigates the state of student (un)employment in New Zealand, and it’s not pretty.

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, OR ANYONE. PRESS UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT A B ON THIS PAGE OMG YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS!

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NEXUS IS LOCATED AT Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton PHONE: 07 838 4653 FAX: 07 838 4588 EMAIL: nexus@waikato.ac.nz POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

21 WATMO? NOMO, IT’S WESMO! Waikato Engineering students explain the meaning of WESMO - turns out it’s more than just a baffling acronym. It’s a racecar!

Things that Used to be Better, unlike Bubblegum On a whim, I bought some Hubba Bubba at Brett’s Dairy/Uni Mart. I haven’t chewed bubblegum since before I could grow stubble, and I was walking toward the counter when I spotted the package. I remembered the rush of flavour and the fun of bubble-blowing, so I slapped the packet down with the rest of my purchase and a twinkle in my eye and paid up.

“The world’s largest journalist organisation says moves by a major New Zealand newspaper group to outsource editorial production work will reduce the quality of its newspapers…The New Zealand arm of Australian-based APN News & Media this week started outsourcing sub-editing and page layout for Auckland-based daily The New Zealand Herald.”

So, I’m sitting here, chewing, and a couple of things have occurred to me. One is that bubblegum’s bloody expensive now. I remember kicking up a fuss when the price went up to 50 cents. Now it’s like a dollar something. The other thing I realised is that bubblegum is rubbish. The flavour goes out in about five seconds flat, and then you’re left chewing a vaguely acidic sludge that leaves a horrible taste in your mouth. Bubble-blowing is still fun (I was slightly delighted to find I’m better at it now than I was when I was a kid) but when the stuff bursts it’s a mission to fish out of the facial hair. Of course, bubblegum was better when I was a kid. It tasted nicer, the flavour lasted much longer, and you could buy more of it for less. Well, actually, that’s wrong. It’s just my memory distorting things. Adjusted for inflation, bubblegum costs about the same now as it did then. It probably always tasted the same way too. Which brings me, in an ambitious segue, to the mainstream news media. I’m sure it must have been better than it is now, because I see much to dislike at the moment. I wrote about this last year, but the news media’s continued use of a combination of the words of “icy” and “blast” to describe winter conditions is as predictable as the seasons. Ditto using the word “slam” in a headline whenever someone takes a dislike to something someone else said, be it mild or not. Key slams Goff. Contestant slams Idol judges. Family First slams fags. Hilton slams Herpes virus (I’m making these up, but they sound real) Here’s a real one, and not from Stuff or the Herald. “Journalist group slams NZ newspaper outsourcing”. That one’s from the ABC News in Australia, in 2007. Here’s a taste:

Well, that might explain the headline-writers’ (who are usually subeditors) reticence to use anything other than “icy blast.” They’re from Australia! They don’t have winter there! It might also explain things like the fact that you can now use the Herald front page to play a drinking game. For every typo, take a shot. Actually, don’t do that. You’d have alcohol poisoning by the time you finished the front page. There are, of course, more things wrong with the mainstream news media than a propensity for word overuse and typographical errors - too much to go into with the limited scope and space I’ve got here. It’s sad. Is this the state of the profession I’ve chosen? Outsourcing of jobs to other countries, leaving the journalists back home with ever-increasing workloads that remove their ability to fact-check and spend time making sure their stories approach a certain quality, getting real facts instead of relying on press releases and rent-a-quotes? It’s easy to be a critic, particularly when you run a student magazine that’s just as prone as anyone to making mistakes. But the mainstream news media makes it too easy, I think. There’s no question in my mind (and the minds of many professional journalists and ex-journalists I’ve spoken to) that the state of mainstream media in New Zealand is in alarming decline. And we depend on these people, more than we know. Journalists tell us what we should be thinking about. It’s crucially important that they (we) get it right. Too much of the time, we don’t. Unlike bubblegum, things really do seem to have gotten worse.

A SEMESTER SURVEY

H a ve yo u

Be in to win an iPod touch or one of ten 15GB Lightwire topup vouchers just by filling in this survey. We want to know what you really think of Lightwire so everyone that fills in this survey will also get a free 500MB Lightwire topup.

You can drop off this survey at any Lightwire reseller or the Nexus office. You can also fill in this survey online at http://www.lightwire.co.nz/survey

SECTION 1: Info (optional, but required to enter the draw and

SECTION 4: General

qualify for the 500MB topup)

1) Which of the following plans most appeals to you? (tick one)

Name: Lightwire username (if already registered): University username:

$1, unlimited data, 10 minutes $2, unlimited data, 30 minutes $10, 500MB, 90 days

University ID number:

$20, 1500MB, 90 days

Contact Phone:

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SECTION 2: Current Lightwire subscribers

$30, 5GB, 30 days

1) Where do you use Lightwire? (tick all that apply) In the Halls Elsewhere on Campus

$40, 10GB, 30 days $50, 15GB, 30 days $75, 30GB, 30 days

2) Which Hall do you live in? (if applicable) Bryant Hall Student Village Collage Hall Orchard Park 3) In what way do you connect to Lightwire? (tick all that apply) WiFi / Wireless Ethernet BBoP 4) How would you rate the service provided by Lightwire? Excellent

Good

Poor

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Fair

2) Which of the following devices do you own? (tick all that apply) Laptop

WiFi capable cellphone (eg iPhone)

Netbook

Other WiFi capable handheld (eg iPod touch, PSP)

3) Where else would you like to be able to use Lightwire? (tick all that apply) Hamilton CBD

Around Hillcrest and Silverdale

Wintec

Other ________________________

4) What do you use the Internet for? (tick all that apply)

SECTION 3: Non Lightwire subscribers

Course Work

1) How do you typically use the Internet while on campus? (tick all that apply)

Social Networks (bebo, Facebook etc)

In Labs

Using the “waikato” Wireless

Cellphone/3G

I don’t use the Internet on campus

Other __________________________________ 2) What is the primary reason you don’t use Lightwire? (tick one) Don’t own or bring to campus anything I can use Lightwire with Prefer to use the Internet at home Prefer to use labs while on campus Too expensive Data expires too quickly Other ______________________________________

Gaming

Music / Movies / TV

Phonecalls (skype etc)

Shopping

Other _______________

SECTION 5: Comments _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ __________________________

By Burns One Down QUESTIONS

1. How many hours a week do you work? 2. Does the Chiefs acquiring a home semi-final for the first time in Super rugby history mean anything at all to you? 3. David Bain: innocent or guilty? 4. If you could be a WSU Director, what would your portfolio be? 5. Would you let Christine Rankin babysit your kids? Why or why not? Chris 1. 20ish 2. Yip, I got a ticket 3. Innocent, but what would I know 4. Department of good times 5. Yes, cause she needs a job by the sounds of it

Maria 1. I don’t 2. What? 3. I like his jumpers 4. The mature and disabled lesbian worker Maori VP 5. No, she’s a tart

Daniel 1. As little as possible 2. It means I get to see more of the hot cheerleaders 3. Flip a coin 4. Department of woman empowerment 5. It depends, are they in the kitchen or not?

Megan 1. About 30 2. A little bit 3. Innocent 4. Environmental officer 5. Fuck no, she’s an attention seeker

Kent 1. None 2. Fuck no 3. Guilty, punishable by death 4. Tighter pants on campus portfolio 5. Only if she does it naked

THIS WEEKS PIC

“Agnes couldn’t help but stare as ‘Gallipoli’ Wilson pulled up to the starting line. Death Race 9000 just got personal.”

With your friends, Exclamation Mark and CAPS LOCK! Hi!!! HELLO We’re here to make your caption experience totally awesome!!!! YES WE R So, here’s last week’s winner!!!!! “Agnes couldn’t help but stare as ‘Gallipoli’ Wilson pulled up to the starting line. Death Race 9000 just got personal.” CONGRATULATIONS VITAMIN C

Will the rainwater running into the Uni Lakes dilute the shittiness of the water, and give us a well deserved break form the mutant-poo smell? It is certain. Not only will it purge us of the poo-smell, but this holy deluge will rage so hard that the Magic 8-Ball will be given a well deserved break from people constantly asking it about the poo-smell as they are washed away in a righteous tide of yeasty doom. Are woodchucks physically able to chuck wood? As I see it, yes. But then again, I see lots of things. I see them with my eyes. I see things, they’re often in disguise. Could I beat Richard Hammond in a foot race? What if I had a flashy XT phone? Outlook good. Hamster is something like 5foot tall so you will be able to outrun him, but I predict that the course will involve navigating a labyrinth beneath a volcano, and since he lived through crashing a drag car while breaking the land-speed record he will outsurvive you. Your

Yes, congratulations!!!! Here are some honourable mentions! !!!! “On your marks...get set...WAIT!!!...Bob’s dead” - Kurt Kirby “After the elimination of gang patches in Whanganui, Michael Laws turned his attentions to a new menace.” – Harlief Skankhammer II WOWOMGLOL.

flashy XT phone will only weigh you down in the lava pit section. Is it wise to drink before I go to my drink driving court hearing? Concentrate and ask again. Obviously it isn’t wise to drink before your Magic 8-Ball question asking session. Will my father pay more attention to me if I sleep with lots of guys? Better not tell you now. You should speak with Flash Medallion though. He’ll solve all your problems baby. That guy who shows up next to Chris Trengrove on every Pork Scandal interview, is he actually a pig that has learned to walk upright? It’s creepy how much he looks like it. Very doubtful. All animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others. Is 90 degrees too far for Jake’s penis to curve?

Congratulations to everyone!!!! Now, take note as we explain how to enter! Simply caption this week’s picture, and send your entry to EITHER captions@nexusmag.co.nz OR the Caption Competition thread at forums. nexusmag.co.nz! YOU MUST BE IN TO WIN SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO IT. TO THE WINNER WILL BE GIVEN A COMPLIMENTARY LIGHTWIRE ACCESS CODE, FOR FREE WIRELESS INTERNET ON CAMPUS. HOORAY. Yes, hooray indeed!!!!!!! Hooray for you alllll!!!!!!!!!!

Reply hazy, try again. When you, try a better clamp to hold his balls to the table, and whack the shaft with a lead hose until it goes all pulpy. Then there will be no such thing as too far. Tie it into a pretzel shape for effect. Salt to taste. Has the managment department captured enough souls to summon the arch demon required to save the world from economic ressesion? Outlook not so good. ‘Save the world from economic recession’ requires something like level 80 in the Fiscal Magic discipline, and the only creature known to possess that is Roger Douglas. The shit he can do with a balance sheet would blow your mind. Are pig farmers secretly exporting pigs to Fiji in crates? Yes. Good one. Next. Is using internet jargon and abbreviations in everyday conversation ironic enough to be acceptable? Very doubtful. IMHO it does however make it acceptable to punch you in the head.

ISSUE 11 - 25 May 2009

any question or queries email news@nexusmag.co.nz

Culture day postponed Insert witty sub-headline here By Grant Burns

The Waikato Student Union’s Culture Day, which was supposed to take

well postpone the event, because the cultural food was a main part of

place on Wednesday 20 May, has now been postponed to a later date in B Semester. The culturally diverse event is now rumoured to be possibly held in August. One of the main reasons that the event didn’t go ahead was because event organisers couldn’t obtain a food selling permit from the Hamilton City Council. Apparently you don’t need a permit from the council if you’re giving food away, but since food was going to be on sale from all different culture stands, a permit wasn’t attained in time. “The main reason why we had to postpone the event was because the Hamilton City Council didn’t approve of our voucher, food-selling idea. The money for the food was supposed to go to the cultural club as donations but the HCC wouldn’t allow it. We then thought we might as

the day,” said event organiser Deni Tokunai. Other reasons for the postponement were that two of the cultural groups that were supposed to perform hadn’t perfected their performances in time. Also, of the five clubs that were supposed to be on show, one was unsure whether or not it could perform. The last and most obvious reason was the weather. With any type of outdoor event that the WSU puts on, the weather usually determines the mood and crowd participation. Moving the event till early spring seems like a more suitable option for all those involved. So, watch this space for the official date of Culture Day and be sure not to miss out on this culturally-inclined event.

WSU Director quits Seven minus one equals you By Grant Burns Would you like to become a WSU Director, but can’t be bothered waiting till next year? Well, now you have the opportunity. Due to the recent resignation of WSU Director Rachael Wark, applications are now open for a new face amongst the exciting WSU team. Citing overseas travel needs and denying a leave of absence, Wark has left the Campaigns portfolio open for anyone willing to apply to finish off the 2009 year. As Campaigns Director you would be involved in running campaigns such as Thursdays in Black and Conservation Week, etc. You would also be part of an “awesome team that makes a significant difference around campus and contributes to all of the fun, enjoyable events.” The WSU Constitution, Section 17.2, states that if a WSU Director resigns there will be a 10 day application period where all eligible applicants may submit an application. An

eligible applicant refers to any student, part- or full-time, that hasn’t been bankrupt, in jail, or charged with fraud and has sufficient time to contribute. The applications are then considered by current board members and the most suitable applicant is thusly chosen. WSU Manager David West says he is excited for a new Director to join the Board. “I think it is a great opportunity for someone who is keen to develop some new experience and to get engaged with their university community.” “Becoming a WSU Director is also a very nice thing to add to your CV, it symbolises leadership, willingness to contribute, and that you can work as part of a collective group,” he said. If this all sounds like you and you fit the criteria, then apply at the WSU reception within the next ten days. 7

Positive economic news!

Waikato University is actually making profit! By Grant Burns According to a recent economic survey, Waikato University generated $749 million in revenue in 2008 which contributed to 3% of the total Waikato region’s revenue. Commissioned by an independent economic consultant, Dr Warren Hughes, it showed that Waikato University generated around $913

The university’s contribution is even stronger in the core Waikato region which includes Hamilton, Raglan, Cambridge, Te Awamutu, Huntly, and Ngaruawahia. “In the core Waikato region, economic activity by the university accounts for 5% of overall revenue – a massive percentage for a single organisation,” said

have increased over recent years. EFTS (Equivalent Full Time Students) were up by 7%

million for the New Zealand economy overall. These figures include direct and first-round spending by the university as well as flowons into other sectors such as retail, energy, transport, sport and recreation, and personal and community services. Vice-Chancellor Roy Crawford was delighted at the recent figures. “What that means is every dollar spent by the university in 2008 resulted in $1.21 of flow-on revenue across the core Waikato economy.”

Crawford. When you break the figures down to per individual spending, you can see the significance. A domestic student living at home will spend on average $5600 per year on miscellaneous goods and services, and flatters averagely spend around $11,800, excluding any rent and tuition fees. Another major contribution to these positive figures is the amount of EFTS that

domestically and 4% internationally last year and are predicted to increase even more after 2009’s figures are processed. Bars are also reaping the rewards of extra student money. Talking to the Waikato Times, Richard Bate, owner of the Outback and The Bank, was definitely pleased with the figures. “Obviously it is good business, particularly for The Outback. I think people underestimate the impact that the University has,” said Bate.

Student enrolments up, student jobs down Money for nothing, nothing for money By Grant Burns Waikato University domestic and international enrolments are up 21.3% from Orientation Week 2008 - and SJS job vacancies are down 20%. However, Waikato University is not the only place with a student job crisis. All across the country, universities are recording substantial enrolment increases and fewer and fewer available jobs advertised on Student Job Search.

SJS is a not-for-profit free employment service and has been offering employers tertiary students with all kinds of skills willing to do all kinds of work since 1982. SJS is owned and governed by Student Associations and is the third largest income stream for tertiary students behind Student Loans and Student Allowances (SJS generates $82million of student earnings each year).

One of the reasons for this student job slow down is the current economic slowdown and a recent amount of job redundancies across the working sector. “Last year students weren’t as proactive at job hunting during their first two weeks of semester but this year they are. Students are filling vacancies almost as fast as that are listed at www. sjs.co.nz. Students are aware that there are less jobs around in this uncertain economic environment and they are being extremely proactive in response,” says Marketing and Communications Manager for SJS Lorna McConnon.

SJS fills over 30,000 vacancies each year and helps more than 25,000 students find work. The majority of jobs placed by SJS are in retail, hospitality, household and office/professional industries. Examples of the wide range of vacancies that are filled each year are; seasonal work such as fruit picking, IT staff, tutoring, child minding and gardening.

Waikato is the third highest region for enrolment increases on this time last year. “Across the country we’ve had 5,533 students enrol with us in just the last three weeks versus 4,351 last year. In the Auckland region enrolments are up 48% on last year with 2,297 students having enrolled since mid-February,” says McConnon. 8

SJS are predicting that the employment situation is only going to get worse and that New Zealand’s 450,000 tertiary students may need to start looking for part-time work anywhere they can get it to supplement their studies through 2009. See page 17 for our feature article on student (un)employment.

Careers Fair(ly) important By Jason S.

Companies found themselves competing for the attention of students by setting up flashy booths and giving out free lollies at the WEL Energy Performing Arts Centre last week. Among the companies that participated at the Waikato University General Careers Fair were Telecom, Plant and Food Research, Industrial Research Limited, the Warehouse, Mighty River Power, College of Law, Carter Holt Harvey, IEP and AIESEC.

management backgrounds to join their company. The pool of graduates that were hunted for varied from engineering students, to chemistry, electronics, management, history and law graduates. The two stand outs at the careers fair, however, were AIESEC and IEP. Besides the acronyms, both organizations offered both current students and graduates overseas exchange programmes. While AIESEC promoted various

student said it was ‘good’. Another excitedly gushed over the cool highlighters that the College of Law was giving out. One student commented however that it would have been better personally if Land Transport New Zealand had not pulled out beforehand. A representative of Telecom commented that it was the first careers fair that the company had attended and the results were so encouraging that they were already thinking of returning

Students flocked continuously from 10 am till 2 pm into the Te Whare Tapere Iti room. Brochures, booklets, branded stationery and free lollies were among the materials handed out by company representatives and recruiters. Graduate and internship programmes were furiously promoted by most of the companies present. Telecom invited graduate students from all backgrounds to apply for their 2 year, 4 job rotation programme of which 10 positions were available. Plant and Food Research managed to get a handful of students to sign up on their national summer internships. On the other hand, the Warehouse was looking for students from generally

volunteer internships in China, India, Ukraine and Hungary, IEP promoted several in Costa Rica and South Africa. When questioned about the costs, IEP admitted that their programme fees was rather expensive. The President elect of AIESEC Waikato, Ying Fei Yew commented that besides being cheap at lesser than $500 excluding flight tickets, AIESEC offered not just a chance of a lifetime to volunteer overseas, but also the experience of being in the world’s few remaining expanding economies especially in the current financial situation. Students were generally satisfied with the careers fair in terms of the credibility and brand of the companies present. A shy first year

next year. Sharon Jeffries from the Careers Centre said that the event was a success. According to her, this year was the first in quite a while that a general careers fair was held and not a faculty specific one. It seemed that the number of students that attended the fair and the logistics of the programme went better than expected. “Hopefully we will be getting more interested companies next year” she added.

Greens to make a Deal

They say it’s “new”

The general careers fair was organized by the Student Support Services of which the Careers Centre is a part of.

“The Green’s proposal consists of challenging the economic downturn by improving the environment”

By Hollie Jackson Green’s political party co-leader Jeanette Fitzsimons hosted a meeting with the public on Tuesday at the University of Waikato, discussing their Green New Deal stimulus package. Their Green New Deal proposal aims at resolving environmental, along with economical, problems that are facing the world today. According to the Greens, New Zealand is lagging behind regarding this proposal – the US, France, Spain, Australia and many other countries have already embraced a Green New Deal package, yet New Zealanders have yet to see one come into play. The Green’s proposal consists of challenging the economic downturn by improving the environment. To do this, they would allocate money towards energy efficiency, public transport, protecting waterways, community economic development and over 6,000 new state houses. The meetings that the Greens are hosting around the country are in order to get feedback from localised communities, to see where parts of their Green New Deal would work and how to improve it.

Homes and schools are in great need of upgrades; the insulation of most homes and schools is inadequate or non-existent, giving rise to electricity usage and also bringing sickness due to cold and damp living conditions. Public transport in New Zealand is horrible; the Greens suggest shifting the $1billion set aside for creating more motorways over to improving the public transport system. By doing this, fossil fuel consumption and greenhouse gas emissions would decline. Waterways are a fundamental resource for New Zealanders, and the amount of clean and accessible waterways are becoming scarce. Rural business relies heavily on natural waterways in order for their live stock to drink from and native wildlife to flourish. The Greens suggest that it is also important to protect these resources for aesthetic appeal; the “clean green New Zealand” image has to be maintained for environmental and economic reasons. The Green New Deal would also create over 43,000 new jobs, meaning less people on the benefit and more in the workforce, saving on government money that could be spent otherwise. 9

The Key to Success

“Golden Key is an invitation-only academic society which transcends all areas of study to celebrate the top 15% students of each department”

Celebration of academic honours By Grant Burns – Member #5934032 Waikato University’s chapter of the Golden Key International Honours Society will next week be honouring new members at an hour-long ceremony held at PWC. The new academic members ceremony will be held from 6:00pm to 7:00pm at the PriceWaterhouseCoopers lecture theatre on Friday 29 May. Golden Key is an invitation-only academic society which transcends all areas of study to celebrate the top 15% students of each department. I myself was shocked to be invited into Golden Key since I never applied

Next week’s ceremony will be conducted by Vice-Chancellor Roy Crawford and only invited guests are allowed to attend. Golden Key International Honour Society was founded on 29 November 1977 and is an academic honour society which recognizes and encourages scholastic achievement and excellence among college and university students from all academic disciplines. Golden Key say they have “emerged as one of the most dynamic, forward-thinking organizations in higher education. Committed to an

and never thought good of me England skills. However, as I found, Golden Key is only the tip of the academic-scholarship iceberg. Once you become a member of Golden Key, you are in position to apply for and receive $4 million dollars worth of scholarships per year, internships and career opportunities, and also the opportunity to help out in your chapter’s community – such as Golden Key’s recent charity clothing drive.

ethos of recognizing academic achievement and encouraging altruistic service, the Society’s on-campus presence has reached over 370 chapters at colleges and universities in seven countries: Australia, Canada, Malaysia, New Zealand, South Africa, the United Arab Emirates and the United States.”

Hamilton music to resound in library Jacynta McClellan

From this Saturday at Hamilton Central Library Hamilton musicians will be performing a series of one-off free concerts as part of ‘Soundz Like Hamilton’ event for New Zealand Music Month. ‘Soundz Like Hamilton’ is a two-week array of entertainment to promote local talent, which will see bands as diverse as Red Dynasty and Noosphere playing. They share the spotlight with local favourites Chuganaut, who are playing on Saturday 30 May. Chuganaut, according to their press release, are “on the brink of stardom with the national spotlight being cast on them.” In 2004 at the

World Battle of the Bands they were crowned ‘Worldwide Winners’ and opened the 2005 Big Day Out in Auckland. On top of their already accomplished success, Chuganaut were the opening act for British heavy metal band ‘Iron Maiden’ at Mt Smart Stadium, Auckland, earlier this year. Hamilton City Libraries Community Programmes Manager, Fiona Johnson, says the band is “alternative rock with a twist of metal, an explosive mix of spontaneity, and monstrous musicianship...”

The Design Hypothesis

Recently Dr Anthony Flew, formerly one of the world’s leading apologists for atheism took many by surprise when he expressed the view that “(biologists’ investigation of DNA) has shown, by the almost unbelievable complexity of the arrangements which are needed to produce (life), that intelligence must have been involved” (Associated Press article Dec 9th 2004).

7 p.m DATE: Wednesday May 27th VENUE: 360 Peachgrove Road. All welcome. TIME:

To see any of the thirty or so bands, Hamilton Central Library is taking bookings on Level Two at the information desk. Spaces are limited, so ensure you get in quick. For more information on Soundz Like Hamilton visit, www.hamiltonlibraries.co.nz

Christian apologist Trevor Major, a graduate of Waikato University, will discuss the intelligent design hypothesis and other related topics. For some introductory material please visit us at http://www.angelfire.com/80s/rjdb/id.doc Sponsored by the Hamilton church of Christ

Chaos in the Quad

Auckland students label MP “racist” By Matthew Harnett - Craacum There was controversy in the Auckland University Quad last Wednesday during a debate featuring several contenders for the Mt Albert byelection. Invited were Labour’s David Shearer, National’s Melissa Lee, the Greens’ Russel Norman, and ACT’s John Boscawen. The contention began before the debate even started, with a motion being passed during the weekly Student Forum meeting that Melissa Lee is racist. This was passed in reaction to Lee’s earlier statements on national television (later retracted) that criminals from South Auckland

Melissa Lee was singled out for special attention by students. Despite the

travel into Mt Albert to commit crime, and that the completion of the ring-route motorway might divert some of these criminals to other Auckland suburbs. Journalists in the Quad setting up for the debate overheard the passing of the motion, and within two hours the story was on the New Zealand Herald website. The Auckland University Students’ Association (AUSA) was quick to distance itself from the motion, issuing in a press release emphasising the fact that motions passed at Student Forum “can only recommend resolutions to the students’ association executive for approval,” and “is not official AUSA policy.” The beginning of the debate was slightly delayed when a political activist stole a National Party sign with Melissa Lee’s head on it, writing “RACIST” on her forehead, and gave her a Hitler-style moustache. AUSA President Darcy Peacock was chairing the meeting, and refused to start the debate until the hoarding was returned, which it eventually was. The candidates spoke on a range of issues, from who financed their Parties’ campaigns in the 2008 general election, to whether their parties had animal welfare policies (Russel Norman raised his hand; the other candidates seemed confused). Also discussed was the best solution to Auckland’s transport issues, and the Supercity proposal in general.

obvious presence of many National Party placards and supporters in the crowd, there was a lot of heckling when she was allowed time to speak. Criticism came most heavily from students located above the quad, in Culture Space. The group, composed largely of Pacific Island students, were obviously offended by Melissa Lee’s earlier statements on South Auckland, and one shouted “I am not a criminal!” during the debate, to the laughter and applause of those in the Quad. One student watching suggested that watching Melissa Lee trying to field questions while being heckled was “a bit like watching Christians being fed to the lions.” Despite the poor weather, an estimated 300-400 students turned up to listen to the debate. This represents one of the strongest showings an AUSA event has enjoyed in a long time, and certainly the largest of this year. AUSA Education Vice President Akif Malik suggested the high turnout might be due to the perceived importance of the Mt Albert byelection in the media. “A lot of issues important to students, like transport and the Auckland Supercity, were discussed today,” Malik said. “I think a lot of students came to see Melissa Lee after some of the things she’s said in the media lately,” he added.

Vault

by Grant Burns

Generator of controversy - Issue 08 2003

“The Generator has been showing how immature they are”

An article in the latest Nexus has prompted struggling local radio station ‘The Generator’ to go on the offensive and devote an entire show to take the piss out of Nexus and student media and student radio in general. The joke came to a climax last week when Generator host Vaughan phoned up Nexus for a live interview with the author of the article, WSU Campaigns Officer Dan Satherley. The host questioned the truthfulness of the article, in particular the claim that the Generator had utilized abusive phone calls as a strategy of defence. Dan remained steadfast, but after a while the conversation descended into a series of expletives in which Dan tried to get the Broadcasting Standards Authority involved. The word “cunt” was used seven times and “fuck” as many as you can imagine.

Nexus news reporter, Lucy Smith, thought the Generator’s call was “the coolest thing ever.” Ever since, The Generator has been showing how immature they are, and that they aren’t able to deal with criticism by saying on-air that Dan has been at university for five years without getting a degree and the he smells like farts. “I’ve actually been at university for one year and graduated from my Media Arts degree from Wintec in 2001,” said Dan, “and I only smell like farts when I’ve actually been doing them and at the time I hadn’t done one in about an hour.” Nexus’ Interim Managing Editor, Carl Watkins, said he’d like to thank The Generator for all the free publicity they have given Nexus.

Execution with Flash Medallion

In the early frosty morning, as my caffiene hit was dawning,

comment to the Directors reminding them that when organising events they also

The numbers on my cellphone seemed to scream ‘It’s still before!’

need to organise the people who are going to be running them, and to remember

Still before the morning meeting, still before the kindly greeting,

that their job is to get things done. Nicely put, Pene. There was little else to be

Still before the verbal beating I could unleash on page one-four.

said about Environmental Day as Director Hawkes, who has that portfolio, was

“I can’t be late” I shouted at the screen my cellphone bore,

not present. On an unrelated note, the meeting seemed to be going ahead rather

But alas ‘twas nine-oh-four.

swiftly and painlessly, so +5 points to Director Hawkes.

Not everyone was present, but the mood seem’d rather pleasant;

The agenda moved to General Business at 9:42, and Director Tokunai reported on

And seated in a crescent were Directors of the Board.

the upcoming Culture Day. Apparently there had been a minor hiccup; he had

The meeting had begun, and like the setting of the sun,

received a phone-call from the Student Council saying that since he had failed to

My zeal had been undone for it was my job to record:

fill out some form or another, they will be unable to sell food there. He suggested

The workings of the student post equivalent to Lord,

that the day be postponed so that it can be done properly; this was discussed

Administrators of our hoard.

briefly with Director AJ being of the main dissenting opinion that by the time it can be rescheduled it will be months away, a valid point. El Presidente however agreed

It is recorded that the Prez, as well as our Maori Vice-Prez,

that it would be better to do it properly with a postponement and made it so. +5

And again the other Prez were gathered with Director Snell,

points to Director Tokunai for stepping up and bringing the problem to the table,

Who was one of three Directors, representing their electors,

even though the fault really lay at the feet of mindless bureaucracy.

With Director Tokunai and Director Good as well. As for the others I could only wonder ‘what the hell?’

At this point Vice Director Delamere took a pictograph of Nexus, for unexplained

Perhaps they were not well.

reasons. Nexus wishes to state for the record that it has put its porn career behind it and any attempts to profit from its likeness will be met with swift and brutal

No Matters were arising, and there could be no disguising,

justice.

That there would be no prising in to the Financial Report; Your Prez once more did seek, to inform us of his week,

(Several other things happened, but the editor edited them for space and boredom

And of staffing loss did speak regarding your student support.

reasons. You may, however, read the deleted paragraph on nexusmag.co.nz! )

Solutions for some student growth issues were sought, But then no ideas were caught.

There was nothing worth mentioning as far as the new Policy item on the agenda was concerned, and with that Nexus was banished from the halls of the Execution

Okay, writing poetically is way harder than I just made it look. Tying in to the

and cursed to wander the earth. Remember to stay tuned to Execution to keep

above stanza, President Delaney reported that 4% of our students need receive

yourself informed about how your elected representatives are handling your affairs.

governmental assistance, so he wants to look into ways to help that. He also had

Don’t forget that any student is welcome to attend a Board Meeting, they are

a number of meetings on Thursday including a teleconference and gets the weekly

held in a room in the WSU building at 9:00am on Tuesday mornings (presumably

+5 points plus an extra +5 for motivated commitment to the job. It was also

to make it difficult to attend), and if you are lucky or sexy enough you may be

mentioned that making amendments to the minutes by email is not a viable option.

granted speaking rights.

And that was all that was said about the minutes for the entire meeting, +5 points to all present. At 9:13 Director Anya arrived, and at 9:17 a fly kept bothering me.

After five weeks, the scoreboard stands as following:

Vice President Delamere mentioned the new parking scheme that is making its way forward; this is really important because parking can be a nightmare issue, as some

President Delaney:

of you will be well aware. If anyone has suggestions or ideas you can submit them

Director AJ:

in writing to the President in the WSU building. Director AJ enetered the building

Director Tokunai:

at 9:26am.

Vice President Whetu:

Director Snell:

The Union Managers Report was received, and Vice President Whetu gave the

Vice President Delamere:

lowdown on the upcoming End of Semester Shindig. After working with Events

Director Good:

Coordinator Bronwyn it has been decided that this year will be combined with

Director Anya:

Matariki (Maori New Year) Market Day and Environmental Awareness Day. Having

Director Wark:

all these things together should make for a great big celebration and party, so

Director Hawkes:

+10 points for making some good progress. Our mighty President made a quick

Student Building Fund Trust:

The Nexus Haiku News By Drummond-san.

Couple missing after $10m bank bungle If ten million dollars Was paid to you You’d steal it, run away too.

Cliff-top road falls into sea Cliff falls into ocean Cycle continues Courtesy erosion

American Idol winner announced Idol: a song and dance About who will fastest Become irrelevant

Lion looked angry and wild (Background: Woman stole lion statue. This, as it will, caused her to become possessed with a “makutu” or evil spirit. Continuing a happy trend of religion driving people stark raving mad, her family allegedly performed an

Christchurch zooms in on city crime Cops : watching every move You’re not bad, though Don’t have to worry, do you? Toddler buys $20,000 digger on TradeMe Toddler, fan of Tonka Buys (real) digger online Kids these days: spoiled.

exorcism in which she died.) Curse-lion happy now Monumental idots Trial continues. Young think peers having more sex “I think you Are having more sex Than I do. Can I please join in, too?”

SEND LETTERS TO nexus@waikato.ac.nz

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O N beBOOKSH SA K WINA OU kuSI@TY ER TS AT E WEE INNSET NIVw nz OF TH AIK ATO U IL BE etts.co. WN TTS W WAIK EMA LETTER ER FROEM EK SHNOEP! @benn ku EXUS H w N K C N W E IL O U TH VO EMA HE BOM BE OP! SITTY OOK ER ad OF FRO KSH $20 B ATO UNEIV oad Ro R R st O re R IK t WA res ETT CHE Y BO Gate 5 Hillc SL S U RSIT Hillc E DRES EXU K VO A e5 IVD E N O55 O Gat UN TH 6 22 B ATO SS 85 E 0 07 R 2 IK FAX $ WA DD

Complaint about complaint about misogyny.

LETTER OF THE WEEK

After shaking my head at your array of malformed insults, I decided to enlighten you, Darling. A entertaining. His letter was “Mmmm... Misogyny” was comical. It85was so extreme as to be 6 6813 PH 07 5 225 6 5 8 obviously crafted for the purpose of being funny, and 7 invoking reaction. In saying this, if these are X0 FA his genuine personal views, I agree, I pity him. 3 Still clinging to anything he can to feel dominant. 681 856

7 H0 But please remember here, you were Ptrying to prove a point. I wasn’t impressed with your attempt at “taking him down”. Personally, a misguided feminist pisses me off more than a man grasping at his past superiority. You tried to bring some semblance of science into a rant like that? I cringe at your conclusion that words on a page are at all linked to sperm quality. Please, it’s an insult to science. Leave her out of this. He was a well spoken asshole. You should know better than to react like that. The purpose of his rant was to point out how terrible women’s ramblings were, and you really did prove his point. His words made me laugh. Yours did not. You, are embarrassing your gender. Please stop with your tantrum. Calm down. Write better. And try making us look good, not bad. On behalf of girls who love cookies and porn.

A WSU Director’s Thoughts on Life (redirected from the WSU pages, where they made no sense) I also would like to say Rachel you’re an idiot! Your letter has made me want to start smoking! Being able to make you so angry by blowing a little cigarette smoke would be worth dying an early death. Billy misogyny guy you’re fantastic! Please be careful that the butch feminists / “girls you will never get” don’t beat you in the street, because you should write in more often! It made me giggle. Georgina Jane Boyd please can you please

not bring your hand bag pooche to university ever again! Or else I’ll send Zen to attack in the middle of the night. His poisonous tail will paralyse Jimmy for life. Honestly me and Ken get really embarrassed. And can Jason S. please refer to me as Director Great in the execution page, it sounds way better. Thanks! Natalie Good

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A $20 BOOK VOUCHER FROM BENNETTS WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP!

PH 07 856 6813 14

FAX 07 856 2255

ADDRESS Gate 5 Hillcrest Road

Send letters to editor@nexusmag.co.nz Letter of the Week wins a $20 Bennett’s voucher! Letters may also be sent via the letters thread at forums.nexusmag.co.nz. We sometimes get too many letters to publish these days – but don’t stop sending them! Letters that don’t make it into the mag can be viewed in the forum as well. Txts to the Editor! Nexus now has a non-new TXT-in service! Send Letters to the Editor - via text - to 021 235 8436. Don’t forget: You can send Busted pictures in by pxt! Send us your best snaps of you or your mates in Bustedtype situations to 021 235 8436. Letters policy: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be kept under 250 words and be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication. We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be) but if it’s a serious letter we’d prefer you to use your real name. Send letters to editor@nexusmag.co.nz

WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP

EMAIL wku@bennetts.co.nz

Up in smoke

Another brick not in the wall

Dear Angry Pall Mall In response to the angry Pall Mall smoker, I think you’re just angry with yourself that you took up smoking. I know I wouldn’t be too happy if I was addicted to something that gave me cancer, respiratory problems, and killed other people through second hand smoke. In relation to smokers putting their butts in the bin, I wasn’t inferring that you put your still burning butts in the bin Fucktard. I was inferring that you either, stub it out on the rubbish bin before putting it in the bin or bend over and stub it out on the ground before putting it in the bin; or is this too much to ask from lazy smokers? Do I have to spell it out to you what I meant? As for the ash trays on the tables outside Momento, I think this is a good idea. I don’t see why the fuck I should have to accept cigarette smoke and go home to eat. It’s like farting, it’s not illegal but it’s disgusting. How about I sit next to you and constantly fart until your clothes and hair smell like my anus.

In the last few days there have been a lot of complaints about demolition of the Hamilton East red brick wall (and the trees) at the corner of Clyde and Grey. There is also protest about the proposed demolition of the buildings at the soon-to-be-closed Church College in Temple View. The complaints are about how our heritage is being destroyed. Both Hamilton East and Temple View were founded by religious groups (Catholics and Mormons respectively). Had people in the first place supported their ‘heritage’ there would have been no need for the demolitions. If church attendance had been higher the Catholic Church would not have needed to sell off the land where the trees and fence were to the contractor, Mr. Livingston. If Church College had had a higher attendance the school would not have closed and the question of demolishing the building would not be raised. The new mall which is going to be built where the brick wall once stood will attract far more people than the church ever did.

Rachel

From Zander McC

Blair Munro’s Ex Speaks Dear Nexus, So it turns out communication via the internet pisses some people off. I’d like to take this space (and the remaining 226 words) just to agree with them on this point. Why use complicated and extravagant technology that people spent years developing, when it’s so much simpler to settle arguments more directly? The males of the species often complain that face-to-face communication with their female counterparts actually results in miscommunication. It is believed that ‘superior’ technology provides a simple medium which can be both less revealing than “inferior technology” and something to blame if words fail you. Females are more likely to use the former if males have disappointed in the latter. And there you go – the truth behind the popularity of technology. I admit I too find it much easier to say “it’s not that I have a headache, it’s that you don’t turn me on” in writing than in person. But those who resort to cheap written insults tend to resort to cheap rhetoric in person. When you’re nearby the truth could be pleasantly, consistently, and effectively, avoided. Meanwhile your ex is using his facebook status to bitch about (and quote) your latest private conversation; a published article to boast that he has a REAL ex now! So we shouldn’t be embracing this freedom? As delightfully pugnacious as you can be when you know you have days to reply? The published gospel of communication that gave impetus to this letter – written, not spoken.

I NEED A DOCUMENT WITNESSED Sometimes it is necessary to have someone official witness a signature on a document, certify that a copy of a document is correct, or take a declaration or affidavit. Justices of the Peace (JPs) carry out many important functions, like those examples above, in the administration of documentation and justice in New Zealand. There is a list of JPs and their addresses in the yellow pages of the phone book. You can phone one and make an appointment to see them. There is also a list of staff members on campus who are JPs. They are listed on the Waikato University website. The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other inquiries you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge data base to help answer anyone’s questions. Visit them at the Cowshed from 1pm – 3pm daily during semesters or phone 0800FORCAB (0800 367 222).

Regards, The Ex. 15

Up in smoke #2

Under my um-ber-ell-ah, eh, eh, eh

Whinge, whinge fucking whinge! I personally do not understand you. You’re having a bitch and moan about smokers and their smoke.. bro we are smoking outside. We can’t help it that your are a loner and the only empty seats are around you! If it’s such a big deal then why not go sit in the nice warm cafes and eat. Then there’s no reason to have smoke blown in your face. Us smokers can’t go inside and have a smoke.. You want to know why? Because its been banned for the likes of you and now your having another fucking bitch that we are blowing smoke in your face while outside. We can’t win can we? I would personally love to have a nice warm place to have a smoke but I have to go outside! Not that I mind because it’s my choice to smoke but stop being such a dick about it and sit in side. Did you know there are special places all around campus where we aren’t allowed to smoke. See, so there are other outside places you can go sit, and if its sunshine and shit you are worried about DON’T WORRY! the special areas are outside. Hey! Fair enough you want us evil smokers to put our butts in the bin but paper could

To the Person who took my HortResearch umbrella intentionally/ unintentionally from the library, IF one day your conscience strikes you, and you feel the urge of returning, please do so by passing it to the librarian OR place it back where it was originally taken from OR slip it into the “RETURN pigeon hole” at the entrance of the library. IF you choose to keep it, PLEASE do me a big favour by taking extremely good care of it because I LOVE my umbrella very, very much. I shall assume you were in desperate need of one, hence I’ll donate it to you. P/S: I hope there will be no showers for the next few days or I’ll be drenched. C.

catch fire and there goes a trusty rubbish bin! Perhaps you could start a campain to have outside ashtrays put around campus. I’ll try my hardest not to blow smoke in your face but you know what? There’s a little thing called wind!

corpse. Should whatever transcript chalk below Nexus? The rainbow sings on top of the gentleman! University of Wakato flips Nexus without the compelled lifetime. Nexus thinks. University Students laugh. University of Wakato shoulders the producer against whatever nut. A subsidiary succeeds near a console. When will the impaired oar disappear with Nexus? -- Tactless Postcard

P.S. I hope your putting your plastic sushi boxes in the recycling bin. =) Lianey!

? The relative diverts University of Wakato. Your honey comic switches University of Wakato across a cloud. The bird fells Nexus with a mass

Rant of the Week is a competitive column. You send in your Rants to editor@nexusmag.co.nz, we pick the best. This week’s Rant is by Kate Laurich.

The College Hall Car Yard. This is the state of the College hall residential car

install cameras and more security guards but each

fucking unnecessary stress and cost us our money

park. It’s a bloody shambles. There are not enough

time they have been dismissed and the problem

(which we don’t have much of anyway), fuck you.

car parks for quarter of the actual residents without

swept under the rug of the residential manager. We

You are all bastards who deserve this to happen to

all the idiots who come and use the courts and get

pay $215 a week to live here and many of us come

you. And worse. You have fucked off (big time, I

free parking while they do so. It seems that with

from far away, hence we need a car to get too and

might add) a large amount of the residents of college

the ludicrous amount of break ins and theft that is

from home, we should not have to be sitting around,

hall and if this doesn’t stop, we are going to sort this

happening, all that is required for a free car/stereo

freaking the fuck out that we’re going to go out to

out, our own way. Weapon of choice. Why the fuck

is a crowbar and possibly a screwdriver. Assholes.

our car park and find it empty. If this situation is not

would you bother to kick off someone’s wing mirror?

This is not good enough! There is no proper security

improved soon, students, such as ourselves, will not

It’s not going to make your dick any bigger and it’s

provided for residents cars and therefore, people live

be prepared to sit around and wait for their cars to

fucking dangerous for people to drive without them!

in a constant state of fear for the fact that they may,

be stolen, many of us are prepared to take matters

My car is one of the ones that’s had its mirror kicked

one day, walk out to the car park and bam. No car.

into their own hands….possibly with the assistance

off and it’s going to cost me $100. Where the FUCK

There is a trend starting up at the college hall car

of a baseball bat!! This will not only compromise

AM I GOING TO GET THAT FROM? Course related

park, where cars get broken into on mass. In the wee

the safety of the students, but will compromise the

costs? Bye bye books, who needs them? Aw hang on,

hours of Monday morning, the 18th of May, seven

reputation of college hall itself. If this is not reason

the people who are actually at uni to fucking get a

cars were broken into with stereos, CDs and various

enough for the residential manager to start taking

degree and do something with their lives, other than

other belongings stolen. Seven fucking cars in one

these complaints seriously and stop treating us like

budging off the government and fucking up other

night??! This is fucking unbelievable!! In the last 3

we don’t matter, I don’t know what will be. WE

people’s stuff. It’s pointless and childish. Grow up and

weeks, 2 cars have been stolen with huge amounts

FUCKING PAY TO BE HERE!! The safety and happiness

do something with your fucking meaningless and sad

of damage being caused to each one. There have also

of the residents and their belongings should be of the

lives. Fuck you.

been numerous amounts of cars with wing mirrors

utmost priority to the big wigs who “run” this place.

kicked off and many windows smashed, just for shits

To the pricks who have nothing better to do with

Maybe Nexus will give me a $50 voucher so I can buy

and giggles. Residents have begged for adequate

their nights (cause their clearly not getting laid) than

half a book for next semester.....

security, even offering to use their own money to

break into poor, helpless students cars and cause

Fucked off college hall residents (with baseball bats).

Down and Out: Student unemployment on the rise By Teresa Hattan

Out of a job? You’re definitely not alone. Student redundancy is becoming a real problem throughout the county, with Auckland being hit the hardest. Hamilton students are also suffering, with an 21.3 percent more students than last year using Student Job Search (SJS) to find employment. Recent figures put out by Statistics New Zealand show that the unemployment rate has increased for the fifth consecutive quarter (a three month period), reaching a total of 5 percent. Statistics New Zealand has also determined that the unemployment rate increased by 0.3 percent during the March quarter to reach this total figure of 5 percent. The last time the unemployment rate was this high was in March 2003.

Student enrolments with SJS are up 27 percent on last year’s figures, yet vacancies have plummeted, down 20 percent on the previous year. With less job opportunities, SJS predicts more of the nation’s 450,000 tertiary students will be looking to supplement their study with part-time work throughout 2009 – if they can get part-time work, that is. “Last year students weren’t as proactive at job hunting during their first two weeks of semester but this year they are. Students are filling vacancies almost as fast as they are listed at www.sjs.co.nz. Students are aware that there are less jobs around in this uncertain economic environment and they are being extremely proactive in response,” reports SJS Marketing and Communications Manager Lorna McConnon. SJS recommend that you don’t email to get information about the employers – instead you can give them a call. By the time an email is sent in response with the information, the jobs have been snapped up by those with a faster dialing finger. Statistics New Zealand has also said that of all unemployed people, 9.2 percent were participating in formal study over the past three months. This relatively high figure points out that unemployment is affecting students, and something should be done about it. This figure has increased over the past year.

Many students at Wintec are struggling to find jobs, and it is likely to be just the same at the University. With a little prompting from my tutor after he heard me moaning about my current job situation (yes, I’ve been made redundant as well), I decided to investigate the issue. A survey conducted around the Wintec campus proved that a large number of students really have been laid off recently, and this would appear to be backed up by the figures put out by SJS. Several students I talked to are struggling to pay their bills, and are even contemplating moving into the Hub (that’s a completely different story!). Numerous students said that they were looking for jobs, but nothing was available. Plenty blamed this on the economic situation. Some even mentioned that they were semi-glad they didn’t have jobs; this meant they could focus more on their studies and not have to worry about working. Several did miss the extra income that working part-time bought in. One Wintec student, who asked not to be named, said that they were going to start selling their possessions on TradeMe. “I’m doing this to try and get through the next month or two until I can find a job,” the student said. Other students had rather different views on student redundancy, with one student even suggesting that it’s a good thing.

“It sucks, really. Students are disadvantaged. I feel angry… I don’t really like going to McDonald’s and having a full-time crusty old person (who used to be an accountant but has now had to take a job at McD’s because of the current economic climate) serve me. I’d rather be served by a hot, young student.”

“Students shouldn’t have to worry about paying the electricity bill when they have assignments due. It’s now necessary for students to work to supplement the money they get from StudyLink, and with the current economic situation there just isn’t enough work to go around.”

Mike Fresnel, full-time Wintec student, thinks that student redundancy is a sign of the times. “It sucks, really. Students are disadvantaged. I feel angry… I don’t really like going to McDonald’s and having a full-time crusty old person (who used to be an accountant but has now had to take a job at McD’s because of the current economic climate) serve me. I’d rather be served by a hot, young student.” Jono Dawson is also a full-time Wintec student and part-time supermarket worker. Jono works on average 25 hours a week. He believes that student redundancy is a good thing, and hopes that he can leave his job in the near future to focus on the finer things in life. “It means that people have no money and can’t buy things that make them happy, like the new Wolverine game which is over $100, this is a lot of money. However, with student redundancy people have a whole lot more time to do what they’re meant to be doing, which is being a student, studying, learning and assignments. I realise that somewhere along the line being a student was more of a go out and drink lots, stumble home smashed, vomit at the base of the willow tree as not to make a mess inside. Or alternatively wake up in the middle of a field at half past five am, also surrounded by copious amounts of vomit (ahh fond memories, made better by the knowledge I still had my pants). However, the only way I do this is by working and then spending all my money on such ‘necessities’. With student redundancy all you can do is study, and focus.” Chris McMorran, 23 years young and a fulltime student, is currently flatting and has tried several times in the last few months to

find flatmates, but has been unsuccessful. He believes that this is due to the number of students moving home to save money. Chris was made redundant three months ago, and has yet to seek employment. “I’m going to try and get a job next semester, but it’s getting harder to find work, especially for students. We have to have flexibility so we can complete our study. The job market hasn’t changed too much, but students are struggling, the jobs that are around just aren’t suitable for us.” Chris’s power is going to be cut off soon. “I just can’t afford to pay the bill because I don’t have a job. It just increases the pressure of being a student. I’ve always got the student allowance…maybe the government should be doing something about helping students.” Perhaps this is true. Maybe the Government should be doing something to help students out. We are not eligible for the benefit because we are studying, and many of us can only earn a certain amount each week otherwise it mucks up the student allowance. If you are not eligible for the student allowance because your parent’s income is over the threshold, you can then get student living costs – $160 a week. Maybe I should write something for “Rant of the Week”, because this issue really gets my knickers in a twist. We are students because we are creating a future for ourselves and expanding our minds, yet a growing number of us are struggling financially because we can’t earn/get enough money to survive. This may be the way it is meant to be, coping with such hardships before moving out into the real world, but really, I don’t think we should have to put up with it.

Over the last couple of months the maximum amount a student can receive under student living costs has risen from $150 to $160. That’s what you can get if you’d like more money added to your interest-free student loan. More than 10 years of inflation and that’s all the Government can give us? $10! I guess we can’t complain. $160 can really stretch a long way. Several packets of chicken noodles can be bought with that. Anna Carter, Public Relations Manager at Wintec, says that students should seek help if they feel overwhelmed when it comes to finances. “Wintec is very aware it’s a tough time for students…We’re concerned about our students, and would hope that those in need would contact student services…We encourage students not to get depressed over it.” The New Zealand Union of Student’s Association (NZUSA) has said that students are struggling to lock down jobs, especially with the drought at SJS. Sophia Blair, co-president of NZUSA, has said that the number of Waikato students on the Student Job Search website looking for jobs has increased, yet the employers listing jobs on the website has decreased. She also said that the welfare handouts made by WINZ and the hardship benefits from StudyLink has increased. “Students shouldn’t have to worry about paying the electricity bill when they have assignments due,” she said. “It’s now necessary for students to work to supplement the money they get from StudyLink, and with

the current economic situation there just isn’t enough work to go around.” This graph shows that unemployment was high (at around 9 percent) in 1994, but had decreased to around 3.8 percent at the end of 2007. This has now increased to the 5 percent recorded in March 2009. Unemployment and redundancy is becoming a real problem for students, with more of us out searching for that all-essential income we need. I, for one, have applied at several places, and given my experience would have gained a job, say, a year ago. With the current market, more students who are exactly like me are searching for the same sort of jobs. Example: I applied at Pak n Save, and given that I’ve had at least four years work experience in supermarkets I thought I was pretty safe. But no, so many had applied for this position, which was only offering 12-15 hours a week, that I missed out. Another example: I applied

Helpful information: WINZ can provide the following if you are in need: Special Needs Grant - is a payment which helps people in certain circumstances to pay for something when they have no other way of paying for it. It is a payment that you won’t usually have to pay back. Advance payment of Benefit - If you are getting a benefit and have an immediate need for something essential you may be able to get an advance payment of your benefit. We generally pay the supplier for the goods or services you need (eg appliances, furniture, bedding, rent or school uniforms). You’ll need to pay us back but may be able to do this in instalments.

for a job doing something I’ve never done before – caregiving. Over 100 people applied for this job, and luckily, because I’m a student (we are good for some things apparently) I’ve been offered an interview (fingers crossed!). With so many students moving into the category of unemployed (either by choice or

Recoverable Assistance - is a payment which helps people pay for something they need urgently when they have no other way of paying for it. This grant is generally paid for items such as appliances, school uniforms or rent arrears. Recoverable Assistance has to be paid back but may be paid back in instalments. Temporary Additional Support - is a weekly payment which helps someone who can’t meet their essential living costs from what they earn or from other sources. How to apply Contact us to talk about your circumstances and we’ll explain how to apply. We’ll normally arrange a meeting with you and will tell you what you need to bring. Winz website: www.workandincome.govt.nz Phone 0800 559 009 for further information.

not), it’s becoming harder to find the jobs we need, making it harder for us to survive, and generally causing havoc with all aspects of the student lifestyle. It’s becoming a genuine and challenging issue not just here in the Waikato, but over the whole country. And I’m afraid that if this current economic climate continues on the way it is, things will not be getting any better in the near future.

Wintec Special Needs Grant: Wintec has a special needs fund available each year to assist Wintec students overcome financial barriers that are directly related to and adversely affect the student’s ability to pursue their current course of study. Financial assistance is provided by way of a one off, non-repayable grant. Students should apply to the Special Needs Committee, Reception at the Health Centre, A Block. For more information see www.wintec.ac.nz. If you need help with finding employment you should contact WINZ or your own branch of student services. Often Student Unions offer hardship grants and advocacy for people in genuine need – do check them out as well.

our power-toweight ratio is twice as good as that of a ‘07 Holden SS Commodore

WATMO? NOMO, IT’S WESMO! Welcome to WESMO 2009. Firstly thanks must be given to everyone who has contributed to, and is currently involved in the WESMO’s challenge for Formula SAE Australasia, 2009. WESMO was predominantly set up to gain experience and knowledge in the field of mechanical engineering. This includes pulling skids, and travelling to Australia to do so. We are also intent on establishing good business relationships and gaining useful contacts for our post-grad life. WESMO was established in 2006, and we have come a long way since then. The original 2006 car was put to scrap to make way for our more sophisticated ‘09 black beauty. Massive advances in technology have resulted in a much smaller and lighter car, with a more powerful engine. Unfortunately for the new team, this car relies more on students gaining sponsorship from local businesses, as our university budget for 5 years was exhausted in ‘07. The dedicated current team has picked up the pieces from the ‘07 team, who had a run of bad luck with an Italian, the Aprilia V twin 550cc motor. However, this year has been all about the advances – technologically, dynamically and aesthetically. With a sleek new black design, a car over 100kg lighter than its predecessor, and brand new electronic engine

control unit, we are definitely looking forward to the next few months. This year the team has expanded to over 20 engineering students, with the goal to also recruit management students with a love of motorsport, to get some experience to benefit their degree. A few details on our new machine: The engine is thumping out 52 horse power on a base tune. We are expecting to have a top speed of around 150km/hr and accelerate to 100km in 3.8 seconds. The chassis is constructed out of a honey comb alloy, which has great stiffness for its low density. The suspension is constructed from carbon fibre and aluminium. This means our power-to-weight ratio is twice as good as that of a ‘07 Holden SS Commodore. These teams have been put in place to ensure an even workload can be distributed to each of the sub-group team members. The goal is have a number of students remain in their subgroups throughout their four year degree so that knowledge can be passed down through them to each successive year. There are currently no fourth year engineers involved in WESMO, so the team leaders therefore hope to establish by 2010 a structured system that will continue for years to come.

we hope to solidify WESMO as one of the leading cultural events on the Waikato University events calendar

The mechanical advances and team growth is purely due to the support we have received over the last few years from our fantastic sponsors. Fingers are crossed and confidence is high for good results this year with the new and improved light weight design. This year the team is establishing itself as a major contender for the international championship event held in Australia in December 2009. With new sponsorship, management and administration members, team dynamics have changed and WESMO has become a greater renowned engineering opportunity for students. We hope to solidify WESMO as one of the leading cultural events on the Waikato University events calendar. Formula SAE is an exciting project for university students of the Society of Automotive Engineers throughout Australia and New Zealand for the purpose of designing, building and competing in a small highperformance race car. It is recognized by industry as providing some of the best graduating engineers because of the practical and teamwork experience obtained through participation. Waikato Engineering Student Motorsport (WESMO) has been involved in SAE for 3 years, unfortunately having our counterpart â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Auckland University â&#x20AC;&#x201C; in front of us each year. We are talking big gains in the engine department with it finally running after hours of intense labour. Many tedious hours have been spent at the business end of the ratchet. The different areas of the car design are currently in the final stages of development, with the big advance for this month coming from the engine department. We would like to give special thanks to Dave at D-Tech Motorsport for his ongoing continuous support, with many late nights being put into getting the car going. The Aprilia powered engine has now been tried, tested, and rebuilt several times from the ground up. After valve clearance conditioning, spark timing adjustment and a brand new link G4 ECU, the Aprilia engine is set for competition. The car is currently undergoing its final race tuning. We are hoping to have it tested and

race ready by late May. We are also currently extending our sponsorship client base and gaining awareness for the SAE car team. We are planning numerous outings to display the car at supporting companies. This includes a raffle, where we would like to raffle off a BBQ and meat package, and at a later event, possibly a tool box. Money made from these raffles would help fund race costs, as we have recently found to our dismay that registration is upwards of $7000. Our website can be viewed at http://eng. waikato.ac.nz/wesmo/ so make sure you keep an eye on it for any contact details or new photos.

WHERE WESMO is based and operated from the Large Scale Lab on the uni campus. Thanks to Wintec for the use of their hub dyno in running the engine in. And an even bigger thanks to Dave from D-Tech Motorsport for getting the engine running. WESMO hopes to compete in the major FSAE event in late December in Australia. The scenario here is that each team designs and build a small racing car aimed at the amateur autocross driver market, which could be manufactured on a small scale production line at a cost of less than $40,000.

The competition consists of three key elements: Engineering design, cost and static inspection Solo performance trials High performance endurance tests The project is student managed including scheduling, budgeting, fund raising and cost control, design, sourcing equipment, materials and components, manufacturing and testing. The team will be on display in Re-Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Week next semester. Who knows, there may be a little warming of the tyres, so to speak.

WHO Mainly second and third year students (PR help wanted because you know us engineers need it). Mark Lay oversees the project and is our designated van driver in Australia for insurance purposes. Alan Smith is a guru in the field of racing cars and is our technical advisor. Finance and team exposure is overseen by engineering chairperson Brian Gabbitas. The team is helmed by third year mechanical engineering student Campbell Upperton. Campbell delegates various tasks to his fellow classmates for various sections of the cars. Our second year students on the team are in their 1st year of the project and have performed well in executing the tasks handed out so far. These students are the basis for the future of WESMO. 23

This blank space/Noughts and Crosses Arena bought to you by the WSU Directors who opted not to hand in their columns this week. THANKS TO: Glen Delamere, Jane Nguyen, Andrew James And Jeff Hawks

Keep an eye out for a very special upcoming feature, the WSU Warrant of Fitness, where Nexus will review each WSU Directorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s performance so far.

Pres Sez By WSU President Pene Delaney Investing in education, aka the future…… I write this column, with the knowledge that your time is precious. The tertiary landscape is currently full of changes with the new government’s budget due to be released on the 28th of May. Currently the rumors in Wellington are not healthy for you and me, Joe Student. The Government’s Minister of Finance, Bill English, has announced

honour the previous Government’s sector funding increasing it in line with increasing costs at least CPI adjusted increase (it should be noted that Uni costs often rise higher than CPI). breaking that very promise, will have the effect of forcing intuitions to move to increasing student fees, lowering quality and undervaluing staff. Any move to detract from

that the previous Government’s commitments to increases in Tertiary funding (adjusted to the Consumer Price Index) will not be honoured in the upcoming Budget or indeed in following budgets. The removal of these adjustments for could mean a funding cut of around 7-11% in real terms over the next three years. This is in contrast to the increase in funding being allowed towards the country’s justice system directly correlating in a decrease for education. This government seems to be moving more towards the education is a private good model. Obviously we as students will be forced to bear a cost increase to cover the short fall in investment, as with the economy not exactly buoyant it’s hard to see private investment increasing into our research output. With an increase in the number of prospective students wanting to educate themselves to help our country, doesn’t it make more sense to invest in education than prisons? During the election, National promised

that promise of increasing sector funding is indeed short sighted given the cyclical effect education has to increasing the long term growth of our country. The recession argument put forward as a reason to slash infrastructure and investment around education is hard to contemplate relative to Australia’s increase in investment in the very same area. In fact some may say underinvestment in New Zealand education could equal a windfall of talent to the Australian system. Although more will be released in the upcoming weeks around the government’s position, the question remains is New Zealand ready to accept that its future through education is not being adequately resourced. Fighting the fight Prez. (Thanks to Meg at LUSA for helping out with this column)

Disabilities Portfolio By Dave the Bogan

Upcoming Events By Natalie Good

As your sports director, I am organising this year’s Winter Games team. The plan is to take a group of 20 skiers and snowboarders down to Wanaka at the end of August. All up it will cost around $650 which includes flights, lift passes, one week’s accommodation, entry fees, food, vans and a pony each. It should be a bundle of fun. All you tits that want to come go to the WSU office to sign up. We’re all about participation, so if you’re rubbish, we’ll still take you. This year the mighty Waikato will be hosting the Tertiary Challenge. On August 7th, students from all over the top of the North Island (from Tongariro up) will come here to attempt to take the Northern Tertiary Challenge shield from us. As current holder of the title we are looking for people to fill our teams so look out for registrations and get involved. Team manager for this Tribal event will once again be the large orange man AJ, so feel free to contact him at aj45@ students.waikato.ac.nz

It’s important to remember that disability is not just people in wheelchairs. While these are still people who need to have their voices heard, there are also other disabilities that may not be so immediately obvious. Some literature in this area describes these as “invisible disabilities”. For instance certain medical conditions and psychological disorders (see that terminology does get confusing!) Often these sorts of conditions or disabilities mean that people need to take medication. This can be difficult to explain or manage when you’re a busy student flatting with other people. For instance, when I used to live in Whangarei after my first hospital “experience” I used to take anti-depressants that helped me sleep (due to my illness…not living in Northland!). I left them out on the table one day and came back to find them missing and my flatmates were asleep on the front lawn. Apparently they’d taken them because they had the word “Trip” in the name (I think they were called Amitriptaline or something). While this is a bit of an extreme case due to dumbass flatmates, these are some of those added things that people with disabilities need to keep in mind in addition to the stresses of everyday life. Sometimes there can be issues for people with disabilities when they forget or are late taking medication for whatever reason. The key thing is to be understanding and not treat them like some sort of freak show and means looking out for your fellow students. 25

JAFFA FOUND IN WAIKATO Hello, Cherubs! For those of you don’t know me, (mostly everyone) I’m the new Events Manager up here at the WSU! In the little time that I have been here I have been VERY impressed with what I have seen. Having moved here from Auckland (ew, I know) it’s

and say ello and fill your mug with a saussie! 12noon on the Village Green. Matariki Market Day on the 3rd June: Well be doing another FREE FEED and will be giving away free Exam Packs filled with goodies to help you through your exams. Through this we

been a bit of an adventure for me, but the benefit of being here is awesome. I love that you can spend $30 and get fourteen items of clothing op-shop-shopping not to mention the miles of parks everywhere, The Café culture, THE RUGBY (which has spurred on a subsequent love of cowbells) and no traffic to be found - ANYWHERE. Few things about WSU EVENTS: WE’RE ON FACEBOOK: (Waikato Students Union) look us up and well hook you up with info and any freebies that come our way!! FREE FEED on the Wed 27th MAY: We decided were having a FREE FEED BBQ so pop down

will also be celebrating Arbor Day and World Environment Day by giving these goodies away in reusable shopping bags. B SEMESTER FIESTA 13th June till 17th June That’s right: We’re having a re-orientation and its going to be a Fiesta you’ll never forget… Ill say only a few words to get you interested…. pub crawl….hypnotist…..insane freebees… So keep a look out for info on the events upcoming for next semester. Volunteers: Were also looking for volunteers or if you have a few suggestions about what you would like to see on campus please don’t hesitate to email me: event@wsu.org.nz

sta

Fie B Semester

DAYTIME EVENTS FREE FEEDS EVERY DAY @ VILLAGE GREEN CLUBS DAY: 15th July THE BIG BALOON POP

ASKEW Waikato

Are looking for members

ASKEW is a LGBTTI support group on campus at Waikato University. We regularly have both on campus and off campus events and meetings There is a Queer Space on campus in the cowshed building. ASKEW hold weekly meetings in the Queer space at 1pm on Wednesdays during term time.

WSU

MON13th QUIZ NIG TUE14th : HYPNOT WED 15th: PUB CRA THUR 16th: BEER F The Queer space is a welcoming, safe place open to all LGBTTI students and LGBTTI friendly students on campus. ASKEW take part in Hamilton Pride Week hosting fun events on campus and will send a group of students to UniQ conference in July If you are interested in becoming a member of ASKEW or taking part in the events that we organize please contact us on

Want a FREE Exam pack?? The WSU is giving away a limited amount of cool stylish, awesome and funky eco friendly packs on WEDNESDAY 3RD June, on the Village Green during :

Why??... you ask?? 1. Because the WSU loves you…. 2. We would like to wish you good luck for your exams 3. We are supporting being good green kiwis for Arbor day 4. We like to bribe you with free stuff so you’ll love us back  AND DON’T FORGET….

THE END OF SEMESTER PARTY PROUDLY PRODUCED WITH ZM and BAR 101 's

AT IND D L B S D BLIN PARTIE

SINGLE AND KEEN TO PARTY... BLINDFOLDED?

BAR 101, FRIDAY 5TH JUNE, 8PM

Brought to you by Burgerfuel! Constructors of Delicious Burgers. Submit a completed Puzzle Page to enter the draw to win tasty vouchers.

The Flash Medallion

Puzzle Page of Fun and Games Lord Bfulhu’s cosmic computer is still on the fritz. Even dread lords of the intangible horror must still obey the laws of keeping your processor operating at a reasonable temperature. There will still be puzzles!

How many new words of six letters or more can you make from the letters in “Flash Medallion” ? If you cannot make 30 or more then you lose. LIST THEM HERE

Find the words.

Here is a delightful portrait of Lord Bfulhu, masterfully rendered by the hand of Lisa. Lord Bfulhu dares you to do better. Prizes may be in store. NOW ENTER YOUR DETAILS NAME CONTACT NUMBER

SEND NOTICES to notices@nexusmag.co.nz before Wednesday, 5 pm. Placing notices is free for students. We don’t always have much space, so get in quick! Notices cannot be any more than 75 words unless you ask us specifically and we say yes. Notices will be edited for space but not for spelling and grammar. They will roll over every two weeks, unless specified – so please, tell us how long you want us to run your notice for. We will not accept handwritten or otherwise non-electronic notices or dictation over the phone – that’s stone-age shit. If you don’t have access to email or a computer, come into the Nexus offices and use one of our computers to type up your notice. Ta.

RANDOM STUFF

Check out www.waikatobasketball.co.nz for more

FLATS AND MATES

For Sale:

info and registration forms or email Amiria@

Looking for laid-back flatmate to move in ASAP

32” (81cm) Flatron LG Silver TV with remote.

waikatobasketball.co.nz

Flat has 4 students (2 male, 2 female) and 1

TV is 81cm across the front, 58cm High and 50cm

professional between 20-23 in a large flat on Aurora

Long.

Babysitter Available

Tce. close to uni, dairy, BK, etc. Rent is $94 a week,

Just over three years old.

I am Jess and I’m 18 years old. I’m available to babysit

including power, phone, and internet. If you’re

$225.00 - pick up or delivery

kids of any age weekends and after school as well

interested please text Tim 0273876109, or Julia

Kcb7@waikato.ac.nz or

as over night if necessary. I am doing a Bachelor of

0274956592

call or text me on 02102785385

Teaching, and have done a lot of babysitting so I am very experienced and have references available to

Two flatmates wanted for SWEET house on

ASKEW WANTS YOU!

prove this. I am reliable and trustworthy and adore

Abbotsford Street, commencing tenancy on June 6th.

The club for people who identify as, or think

working with kids. My rates are $13 an hour usually,

Close proximity to Mill St. Pak n’ Save, ten minute

they might be gay, lesbian,bisexual, transgender,

however this is negotiable over longer stretches of

walk to town. Roomy house with gas heating/hot

takataapui, fa’afafine or otherwise not straight and

times or for other reasons. Regular work can also

water/stove, off-road parking, darkroom setup (for

their supporters. Meeting every Wednesday @ 1pm at

be negotiated. Please feel free to contact me on

photographers) and a tidy section. $95 p/w covers

the Queerspace in the Cowshed shops

0212103982 or 0277524700

rent, internet, phone, power and gas. Contact John

For more information email: askew.waikato@gmail. com or www.hamiltonpride.co.nz

on 027 469 4627. Anyone driving from uni to Auckland/Manukau on June15 at 5:30pm? (Anyone feel like giving a lift?)

Flatmate wanted to share quiet 3 bedroom flat on Fox

Any skiers or snowboarders who are keen to come to

That’s right after MKTG151 exam. I’m planning to

St with two guys, one in his 20s the other in his 40s.

Wanaka for the Winter University Games this season,

catch a flight at the Auckland Airport that night and

$90 + expenses. Email sjj7@waikato.ac.nz or call 859

want to car pool to Ruapehu or interested in joining

would REALLY appreciate it if anyone could take me

3388. OSP + back yard.

the Waikato Uni Ski and Snowboard Club email

there. I’m more than willing to share fuel cost. If you

wusssa@gmail.com or call Natalie 027 329 1713.

could let me know asap so I can book the flight that’d

Female Flatmate wtd. 4 bdrms in Claudelands.

Thanks!

be PHENOMENAL. Txt 021 029 79 439 or email

$152.50 wk incl food, power, internet, sky, alarm.

wywc1@waikato.ac.nz Thanks!

age 21-23. either last year study or in workforce.

Vocalist (either gender) wanted for active rock band,

Live with 2 guys (working) + girl (studying). off street

mixture of covers and originals. Energy, enthusiasm

Cane of Punishment. Busty, sexy 25 y.o duo. available

parking, 5min walk to Vic St, heat pump,dishwasher.

and some modicum of talent required, in that order

for partys. $50 1/2 an hour. www.myspace.com/

sunny, warm room, flat has great character. Call/Text

of importance. If interested, contact Smash on

caneofpunishment

0275431666 to check it out.

0276661854 Want age 18-30 guy to come over and JO in my

Flatmate Wanted

VAGABOND ANIME NIGHTS - 2nd and 4th Thursday

model train room. mutual touching and stuff but

18 Brocas Ave (5 mins from Uni)

of each month at the Vagabond game shop, 6.30pm

nothing more than that. Im not gay. Then after you

Large Sleep-out, available from June

start time. All welcome.

finish we can stomp around and kick the trains and

Semi furnished option / Own Bathroom / car port

buildings like a monster (dont break, they are my

Broadband in house Rent $100 plus power & phone

Waikato Basketball Social Competitions!

little brothers) we can do this until 4 am or until we

Prefer mature Male or Female Contact Phil on 838

Registrations are currently open for all Men’s,

get tired. Also i have lots of imatation crab meat in

4463 or 0272 808077

Women’s and Mixed League Social Teams.

my freezer that i need to get rid of so you can have

It’s a great way to have fun, do some exercise and you

a bunch when you leave. its all perfectly good, just

Flatmate wanted, preferably male to live with 2 girls

can still party in the weekend.

have too much!!! Text me on 0276313316 if your

and a guy. 2 new bathrooms, heatpump, broadband,

Competitions run on Monday (Mixed –YMCA) and

interested

fully furnished apart from bedroom. $70 a week +

Wednesday Nights (Men’s/Women’s –Fraser High) 6pm onwards.

exp. call 8569622 or 0273581931

VITAMIN C If I can get your attention in no other way than to regale you with tales of the glory of yesterday, then that’s what I’ll do. There was a time when there was some great television, and there is some great television now, but have you checked out the new Knight Rider show? It’s sublimely awful. Excellent viewing. Granted, I never watch entire episodes, but there is something inherently watchable about a guy who can memorise a script who drives a talking car and talks to a hot girl over a videophone. The show opened with a TV

or whatever, and the henchman was like “Who are you talking to?” The main character (who is white) beautifully delivered his line, “Your mom” and then pistol whipped the guy to the ground. He didn’t knock him unconscious or anything flash; he just smacked him in the side of the head with a pistol. Great TV. Come to think of it, I think ‘Your mom’ will be to the 2000’s what ‘Radical’ was to the early 90’s. That is to say; commonly seen as having been used by everyone. Snap.

she’s pretty much fucked in her chosen career because no-one wants anything to do with her. Should that have anything to do with the way she does her job? I don’t think having four divorces really has much bearing on how you do your job as a Families Commisioner (one of seven, no less) as long as you do your job professionally, and she does come across as professional. I guess the problem is that her profession is politics, and no matter what anyone tries to tell you politics is really just a popularity contest. The rare great politicians

movie a little while ago that spent the first 20 mintutes showing Sydney Potier surfing, showering, and talking with her lesbian lover. Nothing wrong there. Nothing really happens, but the show is the easiest way to watch nothing and pass a half-hour or so. The other week, the main character had some henchman at gunpoint, and was talking to the car through the microphone embedded in his skull

What about this Christine Rankin? I have no opinion on her one way or the other, I’ve never really paid that much attention to her, but you have to give her credit for sticking to her guns. When the whole of Parliament and the nation keep telling her to fuck off every time she sticks her head up, she still keeps doing her thing and going for jobs and dressing how she likes, and I can dig that. The thing is,

are able to both do their jobs well and come across as popular. I’d be willing to bet that a lot of the people who would make the best politicians have nothing to do with politics because they see the true nature of it. That’s a shame. Next time: Leather underpants and other assorted playground stories.

YOUR PHYSICAL EDUCATION By Kirill

Pump, Pump it Up I was sad last week. I cried a little. I wrote some poetry and posted it to my Bebo page. I got some photos of graveyards, stuck some Gaussian blur, noise and lens flares on them, turned them into black and white and posted them to DeviantArt. I cut myself a little. Nothing helped. I grew my fringe out and flicked it to the side, just to show everyone that they don’t understand how I feel, no one does. This didn’t help much either. But then I heard a song, I listened to its lyrics. “Pump up the jam Pump it up While your feet are stompin’ And the jam is pumpin’” I promptly got down on my prayer matt, turned to Mecca and began to pray to Techtronics and subsequently the Space Jam soundtrack. All in all this seemed somewhat 30

sacrilegious. I decided to go to the gym instead. On the way there I decided to go to Pump class. Turns out Pump wasn’t on. I will go the day after writing this. But I did talk to people in the class. All in all, I was impressed with what I heard about Pump and am actually convinced I should go. It must be stated straight away, Pump is not for losing weight. You will lose weight in the end, but that is a side-effect of the muscle work that you do. That is what Pump is about, muscle work and lifting weights. I am a big pusher of weights work in any work out regime. I think training for any goal and not doing weights work is horrendously in-efficient. If you want to lose weight, then you NEED to do weights. If you wanna get stronger…lift weights. Want to look better. Well, the elliptical alone won’t do it. Also, chances are, if you are reading this you are a person who wants to lose weight or increase strength (or waste lecture time). You will either

not need my advice at all, not know how to lift weight properly, or be one of those girls that don’t want to lift weights since you claim it will make you bulk up (this always makes me laugh). Pump addresses all these issues. It is a great entry into weight lifting as it is guided and there are people walking around correcting any mistakes which will lead to no results or injuries. For those intimidated by the weights room, Pump is a great way to workout without fearing the man-hulks who live there. For those in heavy training already Pump is a great in between, rest day or injury work out, as the weights are chosen by you. For anyone serious about getting actual weight loss or strength gain results, Pump is definitely the way to go. I will confirm this first hand when I actually go next week…also I will be at Bums, Tums and Thighs, I apologize to all females in that class now… because it will be awkward, I assure you.

FEMININE FILES By Mavis and Gertrude

THE NERDARY By Jed Laundry

Awesome ways to earn more love Never fear! Mavis and Gertrude are here! Tough economic times don’t mean that you have to stop spoiling your lover. Little treats can earn you the title of Most Awesome Boyfriend/Girlfriend (after us and our boyfriends, of course). Nice things to do for your man: Afternoon Delight – Cook your man’s favourite lunch, or if you’re a bad cook, take him out for lunch (your shout). Follow this up with a little afternoon delight. Afternoon sex is always good ‘cause it’s a surprise! Man style shopping – Wander the shops, avoiding all things girly. Focus on tech goods, CDs, sports stores or even menswear stores. Girls can tend to dominate shopping trips, so step back for this one and look at things he wants to look at. You might find something cool too! Massage – Get some nice oils and moisturisers. Exactly how far you want to go with it is entirely up to you…. Organise him a man date/boys night out – do something nice for him by leaving him alone! That way he and his mates can go to the pub or see movies that you don’t wanna see, and you can offer to be an end of night taxi service to save them money. Condom gift – Too many girls leave it up to the guy to provide the prophylactics! Take yourself down to the Family Planning Clinic on Anglesea St and get yourself a prescription for condoms. $3 for 12 boxes! Or if you want textured or glow-in-the-dark ones, then head to your local supermarket. Sex – Duh. Nice things to do for your lady: Dinner delight – Cook her a delicious meal, followed by a tasty dessert, followed by a sexual dessert. Zoo – A walk around in the fresh air, seeing some cute animals. See if the zoo runs tours to go behind the scenes. You might even want to pack a picnic lunch. Be sure not to go in school holidays (excited children are a romance killer but a good contraceptive). Make her a present – This doesn’t have to be a lame macaroni/glitter/ PVA glue craft (although it could be), but could be something practical and useful. If you include a love letter or hand-picked flowers too, we guarantee you will be well rewarded. A random thought – A random text or email to let her know you were thinking about her will make her heart melt. Tell her how beautiful she is. Don’t say hot. Beautiful is much more special. Picnics – Choose a nice outdoor spot (like the Gardens or the by the river), preferably secluded. Picnics show a little more effort and thought and therefore are more special than a café lunch. Good foods to pack include crackers, dips and cheeses, muffins, sandwiches, fruit, salads, fizzy grape juice/wine, and maybe some cakey goodness. Sex – Duh. But include lots of foreplay.

First off; a correction. As you’ve probably guessed, I am not Jessica Zooneveld who lives in Tauranga and writes “The Far Side”. No, I am Jed Laundry who lives in the ether and writes The Nerdery. As frequent readers of The Nerdery would have noticed, the “Nerdery” in Issue 11 had little to do with nerdiiness. That was a fake copy of The Nerdery, no doubt the result of very poor counterfeiting, and a complete lack of quality control by the Nexus graphic designer and editor. I can confirm however that this is Genuine Nerdery Content. Stand-by while your brain downloads the Nerdery Genuine Advantage Notification Tool. After marching up to the Nexus offices last Monday, expecting to rant although marching away unsatisfied (Josh and Talia don’t usually start at 8am on a Monday), I noticed that the bus was in the bus stop, however

That was a fake copy of The Nerdery, no doubt the result of very poor counterfeiting, and a complete lack of quality control by the Nexus graphic designer and editor was facing the wrong way. I then snapped a photo, although my phone’s camera is quite fail. Also getting the photo off my phone is a bit of a mission; for some reason it won’t let me send a photo via bluetooth unless I find the filename and use the hideous File Explorer. Not that File Explorer is a bad thing though, it just leaves much to be desired in terms of speed and usability. At least Windows Mobile is better than the crappy iPhone OS though. Seriously people, Copy && Paste == brilliance. Having your phone automatically switch to silent mode when entering lectures == brilliance. Windows Mobile (>6.1) == brilliance. iPhone == fail. Know what else is fail? Spies in TF2. I don’t mind being hit by a sniper 15 miles away, or getting mowed down by a Heavy+Medic combo, but I hate the fact that the Spy marches up to my Dispenser and heals themselves, saps my Sentry, knifes me in the back and then destroys my Teleporter all in the space of 30 seconds. Seriously, why is the Spy getting a class upgrade??? When’s my bloody Engineer class upgrade, with Spy-repellant bug spray! BTW, would anyone be keen for some sort of TF2 game on campus? Looking for 32 people who have played TF2 before (we’ll administer the “If you’re a Pyro, should you try using your Flamethrower underwater” test before play commences). Not sure about dynamics at this stage, just trying to gauge interest. Head over to the Nexus forums (forums. nexusmag.co.nz) if you’re into it.

If you require any romantical or feminine advice email us! femininefiles@ nexusmag.co.nz and we will sort your worries in our column in an upcoming issue. 31

“I learnt that you can sleep with any girl, regardless of how attractive, if she’s angry enough at her current boyfriend (CollegeH), so keep looking until you’ve found one”

Halls of Decadence By Yonny

Since the last Decadence column, resident life on the surface has been relatively tranquil. It could be quite easy to misinterpret the quiet of the Halls as lack of activity or interesting circumstances, yet I assure you embarrassment and frivolity remain in the determined hearts of the residents who live on campus. I’ve learnt much about myself and the people I live with in this time. I learnt that yes, I can sleep halfway up a staircase and be comfortable enough to remain there for roughly an hour. I also learnt that there is definitely a limit to how much one can drink, but the only way to find out your limit is to soil yourself (StudVill). I learnt that you can sleep with any girl, regardless of how attractive, if she’s angry enough at her current boyfriend (CollegeH), so keep looking until you’ve found one with Elmer Fudd-esqe steam exiting her ears, sitting angrily, alone at the bar. A friend even taught me that it is indeed possible to cheat on three different women at exactly the same time and when one of those women is in earshot (CollegeH). Monogamists clearly have a disadvantage when living so close to man-whores and women of questionable integrity. Oh, and I learnt that they’re serious about alcohol bans, having received one myself when they mistook an involuntary bulimic burst for being too drunk to remain in control of my oesophagus. Also, bulk cars are being broken into. Again. Someone should do something about that. Regardless of what I’ve learnt, I remain completely oblivious as to why I still can’t rectify a problem which is putting increasing strain on my friendships with others. That is, why faithless women sleep with me only to wake me up with a smile and a BJ and a “Oh yeah, you know your good mate? You know the one you flatted with? Yeah... we’re going out now.” Cue bitchslap. Though I am a firm believer that cheating is a two-way deal, it’s both our faults etc., I really can’t help but notice the increasing number of women who are deceiving and swindling their way into the hearts of Hamilton’s faithful romantics without even pausing to consider the repercussions of their dishonesty. It is because of this disregard for humanity by vaginas on campus (who also intriguingly seem to time their period at the same time), that good men are starting to become so paranoid they’re willing to look like fucking idiots to 32

make sure the girl in their eyes doesn’t run off with anyone else. Such thinking prompted a guy (CollegeH) to approach a mate of mine, having never met him, and threaten that if he ever talked to his girl again, he’d sort him out. Please. This isn’t Grease. This is Hamilton, and being in Hamilton means that us men need to share our bounty once in a while, leave the partner grabbing and bitching to those that bitch best: the bloody bounty. Rap Battle of The Week: Two Residents. No Talent. (1st) MC KronJob: Some call me Shirley, others call me Nick, Alicia Tongario says I got a ‘lil dick, I’m the golden boy, don’t you know about me, I can’t handle a buckey with a ‘lil bit of tree, cause I’m a bitch, and I drink like it too, ask Burger King – they cleaned up all of my spew. (Reply) MC Shirley Temple: You’re going to law school, you are so the man I think I know a catcher’s mitt that’s your biggest fan. Did I just catch you looking in the mirror? News flash – you’re not big, you bitch ass queer. Let me rephrase that, I don’t think you’re gay In fact if it’s a female, the Kron’s down for play. Take last weekend for instance, don’t be sour We all know what happened in that shower. Don’t you frown and don’t get mad at Shurls Just cause you cheated on two different girls. The winner this week has to be Ms Shirley Temple, mainly because it’s longer and the author will most likely give me a rimjob upon declaration (yay!).

CALL OF DUTY: World at War Reviewed by Flash Medallion

Continuing with our recent series of reviewing

you are usually free to roam the immediate

until higher difficulties where decent control is

slightly out of date games, I gave the latest Call of Duty a spin. I enjoy first-person shooters, but I tend to avoid playing every single one that comes out because they seldom distinguish themselves. If you haven’t bothered with this series this is the fifth title, which new developers Treyarch return to a WWII setting. So we are back to the trusty M1 Garand and Thompson, which you’ll know inside out if you were a Medal of Honor junkie on PS1 or 2 like myself.

environment, making it possible to execute flanking manoeuvres or push for cover as you see fit. You fight alongside a number of allies; the marines lead by Sgt. Roebuck (Kiefer Sutherland), and Russians led by Sgt. Reznov (Gary Oldman) are in the shit alongside you. Both teams chatter provide great atmosphere, and cries of “Grenade!” and so-on both useful and immersive. Oldman’s psychopathically patriotic leadership is a treat. Gameplaywise, your unit is useful for drawing enemy fire, saving your ass now and then, and more importantly, holding cover.

precious. The urban levels suffer from none of this, as well as having no invisible walls along the boundaries of areas. Otherwise the control is great, the button layout is intuitive (and customisable) and the movement and aiming is smooth.

In World at War you follow the parallel progress of a U.S. Marine and a Russian Infantryman as they take part in the assaults on Okinawa and Berlin respectively. As the marine you make your way across various islands leading to Okinawa; this entails slogging through jungles, sweeping mazes of trenches, and clearing bunkers set deep within the mountains. Alternating between these levels is the Russian campaign, which opens in Stalingrad with a fantastic homage to Enemy at the Gates and later puts you at the forefront of the million-man march to Berlin and all of the brutal urban fighting that it entailed. Switching between these two settings is a nice way of keeping things fresh, and allows you to experience the vastly different dynamic effect that the two environments have on assaulting a heavily entrenched enemy. Gameplay consists of achieving a series of objectives alongside your squad through a linear map. Objectives can vary from clearing a building or eliminating enemy armor to simply surviving an attack until reinforcements arrive. While progressing from objective to objective is linear, in executing each objective

Most important battles involve fighting over a particular point on a map, where the enemy and your squad has unlimited reinforcements. You need to advance your position to push the enemy back, and your squad will only advance once you have. You can sit and rock headshots ‘til the cows come home, but the enemy will keep on coming until you make a sprint for more cover. This artificial difficulty creates a sense of scale, but the mechanic tends to crumble on the higher difficulties. More on that later. The actual game engine is robust; the frame-rate is slick and the models are pretty but it seems to suffer from the legacy of WWII games past. Foliage models look good until you get up close, and then you can’t see through them but the enemy can. Not too much of a problem, but can be frustrating when your Japanese enemy is constantly pulling the old Snake in the Grass trick on you and you can’t do it back. The engine has a little trouble with the uneven ground and rocky areas, and you can find yourself snagged on something for seemingly no reason. Again, these things are no big deal

Achievements/trophies are probably worth a mention in reviews now, the list here is decent. There are some for doing very specific actions in the game, such as saving squadmate Private Ryan from a scripted attack in one of the levels, and more general awards such as completing a level using only melee for example. You get a handful for just finishing the game on regular, but there are a significant amount for finishing each level on the hardest difficulty. It is worth it for the trophies if that’s your bag, but considering this part of the game is highlighted so prominently there is surprising little payoff in terms of enriched gameplay. I’ve done nine out of the fifteen levels on Veteran so far, and it’s not particularly satisfying. Online is fantastic, an experience system guides you through customising your own class of character, slowly unlocking weapons, sidearms, and perks, while still leaving the game balanced enough for your level to remain meaningless against a skilled opponent. Matching is smooth and easy, although you get kicked from the room if a map you haven’t bought comes up, and there’s no option to avoid map-map levels. Finally: Nazi Zombies. Greatest game mode ever. If you aren’t sick of WWII shooters yet, this is a slick package that promises an engrossing single-player workout and a very long-term multiplayer experience, even without the second multiplay expansion due out soon. 33

Book:

What’s Happening to Our Girls?

Maggie Hamilton Penguin Viking

Reviewed by Penny Wilson

When Vladimir Nabokov wrote Lolita in 1955, the public reaction was outrage. The title character was precocious in her sexual awareness and her mother’s boyfriend, so fascinated by Lolita, was a pervert. Nearly sixty years later such a scenario has not only lost its shocking sting but become increasingly commonplace. In What’s Happening to Our Girls? Maggie Hamilton explores the psychological and social factors influencing girls today from the cradle to the grave, including not only the sexualisation of children but also the impact of material culture and the

for this book, Hamilton spoke to children, teenagers, teachers, parents, psychologists, doctors, police, marketing executives and – memorably – the editor of a popular teen magazine who, in her own words, admitted to encouraging girls “to buy useless crap”. It doesn’t always make for comfortable reading. One of the most disturbing revelations of Hamilton’s research was the laserlike focus with which certain companies and their marketing departments target children and teens, who are too intelligent to ignore their impact, but too young to realise how ruthlessly

media; the rise of online and text bullying and harassment; the spread of binge-drinking and drug abuse; reasons why depression, cutting and eating disorders are on the increase and reasons why, with so much choice, so many girls just want to marry young and have babies. And this is not just one commentators’ opinion – over the two-year course of research

they are being manipulated in a bid to line corporate pockets - to the extreme that some girls Hamilton spoke to were prostituting themselves in a direct exchange for designer goods. But it’s not all grim news - Hamilton emphasises that there are alternatives to all this, offering ideas on how to counteract negative influences, and chief amongst them

The Warehouse $26.99 is this: don’t be a pawn. Make up your OWN mind instead of swallowing the money-hungry hype. And if you think Paris Hilton is an acceptable role model, you badly need a head transplant - and a life.

MOVIE: Angles and Demons Directed by Ron Howard

A Catholic priest walks into a bar and orders a drink… wait, make that a room… and by priest I meant priests (plural)… and by orders a drink, I probably was trying to say begins to vote on a new Pope. In case you weren’t already aware, Angels and Demons is based with the Dan Brown book of the same name. The book is also the prequel to Da Vinci Code… but the sequel to the movie. This might seem to be confusing, but don’t worry, that’s just the secret of the Decendant of White Jesus Code. Angels and Demons is about a Doctor Langdon, a symbology major from Harvard. He probably done a BA. Due to his intense studies, Robert Langdon is a smart man. Not a graduate sort of smart, where you sit around with a bottle of wine and discuss who would win in a fight between Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost and Edgar Allan Poe. He is so smart in fact that when the Pope dies of seemingly natural purposes, newly synthesized antimatter gets stolen from Geneva and threats are made to the Catholic church by the Illuminati (the Church’s oldest enemy apparently, older then sin), he is called to solve things. I say 34

Reviewed by Kirill

things, because at the start of the movie there isn’t quite a mystery yet. Once mysteries begin to be mysterious, Robert Langdon proceeds to treat everyone (including the viewers) as absolute idiots. The first hour of the movie is spent repeating and elaborating on things that everyone understood 10 minutes ago. Also, Robert seems to think it is fine to lecture Vatican security guards on the history and ethics of the Catholic Church in its early history. The majority of the movie is spent running around solving clues. Most of them are solved

by accident when the hero (Mr Langdon) looks in the wrong direction and sees some water mark, or statue or something equally obscure. Admittedly, Angels and Demons is better than Da Vinci Code…but that doesn’t mean it is good. Certainly it is watchable, but it is equally laughable. For anyone who has read the book, there is absolutely nothing new, it is exactly as you have probably already imagined it. The best part of this whole affair was, surprisingly enough, the special effects. I’m not going to tell you exactly how it is that a movie set in the Vatican, based around a lecturer running around and solving big boys Blue’s Clues manages to have special effects, but just believe me that they are good. If you really can’t wait, then take my earlier line and ask someone who has read the book… or read it yourself, it will take about an hour. I would not recommend paying to see this movie, Dan Brown has enough money already from that damned Da Vinci Code. If you really want to waste $15 on watching something forgettable and in parts silly, find me on campus and I’ll follow you to your car… ..

Auteur House Presents: Manoel de Oliveira By Dr Richard Swainson

Manoel de Oliveira is a name not that widely known outside his native Portugal or the European art house circuit. I once mentioned him up at the Screen and Media Department and was met by a lot of blank faces from even the normally all-knowing lecturing staff. In some ways this is surprising as de Oliveira has been making movies off and on since 1931. Now in his 101st year he is without doubt the oldest working director that has ever been, or, in all likelihood, ever will be.

De Oliveira’s segment has wit and charm though probably does not rank amongst the most memorable of the vignettes. It presents a presumably fictitious meeting between Nikita Khrushchev and Pope John XXIII in which the Communist and Catholic dictators trade insults before comparing beer guts. True to the received view de Oliveira’s style is static, but also assured and confident and he makes his point with great clarity.

Film making aside, there cannot be many cases in the history of the species of a human

I’m tentative about expressing an opinion on the centenarian as until now I have not been

being becoming more productive in his tenth decade of life than he was in the preceding nine. Between the ages of 90 and 100 de Oliveira wrote and directed 17 films, 8 more than he produced as a relative spring-chicken in his 80s.

able to track down any of his work. Prolific as he has been in recent times New Zealand audiences have largely been denied the de Oliveira oeuvre.

Admittedly some of these - but certainly not all - were shorts. There is also some debate as to their quality. From all accounts the cinema of de Oliveira is an acquired taste, often static, dialogue-heavy, and burdened with Catholic themes.

DVD:

13: Game of Death

Directed by Chookiat Sakveerakul

The release of “To Each His Own Cinema” changes all that. A so called ‘portmanteau’ in which 33 directors from around the globe each contribute a brief portion on the theme of audience reception, it was produced to mark the 60th anniversary of the Cannes Film Festival. Manoel de Oliveira, at the age of 98, is one of the 33.

There are some real gems contained in the balance of “To Each His Own Cinema”. Many directors chose the autobiographical route, recreating film going experiences from their youth with often moving results. Claude Lelouch’s account of his parent’s courtship in the shadow of Astaire and Rogers is one of my favourites and Chen Kaige’s typically sentimental and stylised short about school children using bicycles to power a projector so that they might watch Chaplin’s “The Circus” induces tears. Roman Polanski’s contribution is a hilarious slow burning joke about masturbation whilst David Lynch again proves himself an inspired and surreal horror minimalist.

Reviewed by BURTON C BOGAN

“13 Challenges. $100 million. How far would you go?” Puchit is a musical instrument salesman. Sadly, he gets screwed over by everyone and ends up losing his girlfriend, his job and his car. His mum is destitute and he has to support her financially. Things are looking pretty crappy, until he is mysteriously contacted via mobile phone and offered a whole lot of money for simply killing a fly with a newspaper. This he successfully completes, and is then told that he will receive even more money if he eats the fly. So begins a series of challenges, each getting more and more deadly, but at each stage the financial benefit increases. I know what you’re thinking. “Burton… is this another sub-titled movie?” and I say, “Yes, you heathen, now watch it, cause otherwise you’re missing out!” When I went to see Independence Day at the movie theatre, I stood up and mocked some douche for yelling “YES!” when the aliens started losing the battle. I hate people who yell at the movie, it reminds me of bad pantomimes (“LOOK OUT BEHIND YOUUUU!”). Sadly, I found myself yelling “Oh God” and “Holy Shit” as poor Puchit gets himself into more and more strife. Don’t judge me. This movie is originally from Thailand and according to the back is ‘Thailand’s best film of the past few years’ and I have to agree... cause it’s the only Thai movie I’ve seen in the past few years. But it is awesome, and the movie really does keep you guessing the whole way through. It reasonably

stylish but not overly produced and the few special effects that are in it are quite well done. The film successfully sucks you in, with first feeling sympathy for Puchit, and then a few discussions get sparked as you start wondering which of the challenges you would do. Sadly CJ and I would lose at about the 5th or 6th one that involved eating something, I won’t tell you what. So a word of warning– don’t eat your dinner while watching this movie – you’ve been warned. As I’ve said before, this is a sub-titled movie but these are often amongst some of the best and most original movies out there. I know I go on about it, but the mind boggles that sometimes people can’t be bothered reading subtitles and would rather miss out on some cool stories. 35

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CITRIC: Hamilton Circle Jerk Nick Johnston

By the time you are reading this article, the Hamilton Circle Jerk has been and gone and hopefully you were in the audience to view some of Hamilton’s finest bands. Can’t get enough now? Or you feel bad about missing the event? Well I’ll highlight a few local gigs from bands featured in the Circle Jerk lineup, as well as some other actively performing bands. Knights of the Dub Table will be releasing their first EP at Flow Bar on 5 June. Watch Mr Samysam’son, Cypher’silius, Synth’silion, Sax’imus, Tootz and Dr.Umm jam out some of their new tunes. Local support to be announced soon. Sumo Love Machine will be playing at the Hamilton Public Library on the 26th May 7pm as part of ‘Soundz like Hamilton’. This may be one of the chances to check out this band with its current lineup, as Malachi is moving on shortly.

Chuganaut will also be at the Hamilton Public Library on 30th May at 3pm, but this is an event you can’t just roll up to, you’ll have to book in advance and the strictly limited tickets are available from the Central Library. Watch ‘Solid’ Stu, Nail, Ross and Lil will be rocking out their new song ‘Dreams’ (available at http:// www.chuganaut.com/mp3/dreams.mp3). Milk Train will be rocking out at 1pm just before the Chuganaut show, garage / classic rock fans may enjoy these guys. Recently touring with the Lookie Loo’s, you can hear a few of their demos on Myspace. Doteyes will be releasing his new EP at Flow on 13 June 2009 with a diverse supporting act featuring Aum and The Hollow Grinders. This is Shane’s last NZ show before he’s off to Australia, so make sure don’t miss out on this show! If you have not seen Doteyes yet, Shane Dudfield is the multi-instrumentalist behind

the project. Tracks such as ‘Bill Murray’ and ‘Ithiopica’ (featuring an MIA sample) can be heard on Myspace. Cane of Punishment will be hitting the WSU Building on the 5th June for a gig. Their Myspace page describes their music as “NZ’s answer to the Beach Boys”. Hilarity can be expected when they bust out their signature hits “Hot Asian Girls”, “Fat Girl” and “I’m Whipped”. In case you have not been to Flow Bar before, it is situated on the corner of Collingwood St and Victoria St (on the riverside by the Wilson carpark). If you recognise the name ‘Catalyst’ or ‘Sabbath’ you’ll know where to go. If not, on the side of the carpack is a black painted wall and there at steps leading down to a club… that is Flow. Next week I will be reviewing the new album from An Emerald City as well as more local and international music news.

ALBUM REVIEW

Manic Street Preachers - Journal for Plague Lovers Reviewed by Nick Johnston

I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for the Manic Street Preachers, in particular their first three albums. But with the exception of 2007’s Send Away the Tigers, it has not been a great decade for the Manics. But all is forgiven with this fantastic album Journal for Plague Lovers. Featuring the lyrics of deceased band member Richie Edwards, the band sounds energised for the first time in over ten years. The most immediate change notable in Journal for Plague Lovers is the excellent production from Steve Albini. This album does not quite feature the raw unpolished feel of his most famous productions (Pixies – Surfer Rosa & Nirvana – In Utero); it is more restrained but it fits the Manics perfectly. The songs are lean and extremely well written musically, mostly clocking in at 2:30-3 minutes long. The lyrics are complex, witty, hilarious and tragic, often within the same song, and it must have been

quite a mission for James Dean Bradfield to come up with a tune to match it. The album starts off with the fantastic Peeled Apples, easily one of the best songs of 2009 so far. Musically, it’s a fine tribute to Richie Edwards’ adoration of In Utero. Another highlight is the title track Journal for Plague Lovers, which really showcases the bands musical prowess and how well it works with the Albini production. It is May and we have a contender already for one of 2009’s finest rock albums. The Manic Street Preachers have got their mojo back, and the music has never sounded better. Arguably this album is one of their best, even possibly surpassing The Holy Bible. A breathtaking album, and a fitting tribute to their fallen bandmate.

Rating: 4.5/5 37

Gig listings courtesy of Hamilton Community Arts Councill.

GIG GUIDE Gig-givers – send your gigs to gigs@nexusmag.co.nz! We’ll print them, freestyle! TOAST Wed 13 May 2009 - Sat 27 Jun 2009 Entries Due 10 June 2009! Get your entry in now! Be part of Fringe 2009. Photographic exhibition exploring the rules and rituals of toast making. What to do: 1. Create a piece of toast how you normally would have it for breakfast or snack. 2. Then take a photo of the finished piece of toast. This should be a digital photo, at least 3mb then send to below address. Email for more details. Cost: Free Time: 6pm SHORT STORY WRITING Weekly: Fri 29 May 2009 - Fri 12 Jun 2009 Catherine Chidgey is a full-time, internationally published novelist and current Writer in Residence at the University. Participants will improve their short story-writing techniques through practical application and will receive constructive feedback from the tutor. Cost: $120 Time: 7.00pm - 9.00pm Where: Continuing Education satellite campus, 21 Ruakura Road, Building RS5

LADIES SING THE BLUES SHOW Thu 28 May 2009 Hamilton Blues Society presents thier annual Ladies Sing the Blues Show featuring Pauline Sinel, Chris Maydon & Zeb Davies with special guests from Wellington Mojo Mama and the Hired Guns with Bull Frog Rata. Pre-sold tickets will be available at Biddys from 14th May. Cost: $10 and $15 tickets from Altitude and Biddys Blues Jam Night Time: 8pm Where: Altitude Bar , 30 Alexandra Street CABARET (THE MUSICAL) Fri 15 May 2009 - Sat 30 May 2009 Cabaret is a controversial and hard-hitting show set in the exciting turmoil of Berlin in the 1930’s. Sizzling dancing, dazzling costumes, beautiful singing and some darn good acting - you can’t miss it! General admission is $28, table seating at the front of the theatre $33, students/senior citizens $23, matine $16. Cost: $16-$33 Time: 730pm Where: Riverlea theatre, 80 Riverlea Road

TRUST WAIKATO SYMPHONY ORCHESTRAFROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE Sat 30 May 2009 The Trust Waikato Symphony Orchestra presents “From Russia with Love” conducted by Rupert D’Cruze. The Program will feature: Tchaikovsky Fantasy Overture from Romeo and Juliet, Vaughan Williams Concerto for Oboe , Soloist Jenny Johnson. And to Finish Tchaikovskys symphony No4. Cost: Adult $25, Concession and free child tickets available from outlets only + fees Time: 8pm Where: Founders Theatre, 221 Tristram Street, Hamilton IF GODWITS COULDN’T FLY EXHIBITION BY SANTIE ENGLISH Fri 29 May 2009 - Tue 30 Jun 2009 If godwits couldn’t fly is a Solo show by Santie English - South African born Symbolist artist. Cost: Free Time: Weekends 10-4pm; Tues-Thursday hours vary - call first. Where: Inspirit Studio & Gallery, 360 Pencarrow Road, Tamahere, Hamilton

Gentlefolk of the wide Waikato! We desire your BUSTED pictures! It is rather easy! Simply email your pictures to busted@nexusmag.co.nz , or PXT to 021 235 8436. Show us your face! Shame your friends! Or you can (perhaps) take some Busted pictures for us! Email editor@ nexusmag.co.nz for details! 39