issue 12 by Nexus Magazine

Issue 12 路 29 May 2006

Life as a Foreign Student 路 World Cup 路 Last issue of this semester!

Photos

WAIKATO UNI IDOL SEMI-FINALS – WEDNESDAY 24 MAY

CHUGANAUT @ VILLAGE GREEN – FRIDAY 19 MAY

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Party Time

Party Review BY BY SKOT SKOT AND AND JR JR

The Flat Warming There’s nothing quite like having a party to celebrate the beginning of the new flatting experience, with the fridge only just being plugged in to chill the beer and people standing around where the furniture would normally be. The problem is the neighbours don’t necessarily share the same enthusiasm with their new-found best friends. Having had a few of my own flat warmings in my time, the party had a lot to compete with for a high rating. But on my arrival I could see it was going to be a good night. The party goers had read last week’s article and thought a stripper would get the night off to a great start. This was until they realised that there wasn’t room for the stripper to perform as they hadn’t yet unpacked anything. Just as things were getting underway at around 10 o’clock the flatmates decided that they would introduce themselves to the neighbours and ask them if they wouldn’t mind a bit of noise in their evening. This resulted in mixed reactions. The majority of the neighbours told them to **** off, for want of a better word. One group came over and joined in with the festivities, however. The last and major event that happened at the flat warming was the christening of the flat. I’ll leave what this involved to your imaginations. Thanks to all you people that invited me to your parties this semester and I’ll see you next semester.

Top 3 Quotes: I’m a gangster granddad and I’m proud of it. If I say something real stupid will you quote me in Nexus? Of course I’m going to get laid, I’m going to the Bahama Slut tonight! Party Rating: 8/10

Txt me anytime next semester (after 7am) 0274 279319 and JR and myself will review your party Issue 12 29 May 2006

Contents FEATURES 1

Life as a Foreign Student

An insightful look at being an international student

What’s Going On Over The Break

Tip: Leave Hamilton now

21 22

The Laramie Project FIFA World Cup – The Nexus Guide

We like Soccer

Nexus Fashion – Madam Muck

The tigers come out to pose and play

NEWS

08-12 Student assault, Budget Cuts Maori Grant, Baby Tragedy, Student Politicians vs Real Politicians, Short Shorts, Nexus Haiku News, Mr. Safety Bigglesworth, Exec Evaluations!

REGULARS 05 0 14 24 26 30 32 33 33 34 34 35 35

Credits Designer Matt Scheurich

Music Editors

Advertising Manager Tony Arkell

admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz 0211766180

3 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 46 4

Boganology 101 Classic Rock Review Split Decision El Groado’s Hardcore Rabble The Magic 8 Ball Uncle Jim’s Kiddies Page Comics Books Food & Drink Citric DVDs Films The Player Busted

If you would like a go at doing a cover, email graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz News Editor Joshua Drummond

graphics@nexus.npl.co.nz

36 36 3 3

Cover artwork by Peter Stewart

Editor Dawn Tuffery

nexus@waikato.ac.nz

Party Review Editorial Lettuce Gig Guide WSU columns Notices Engine Talk The Second Oldest Profession Jerk Jokes Confessions of a List Maker Word Freak Killing Time Rage in a Cage

news@nexus-npl.co.nz

Books Editor Politics Editor Sports Editor

M. Emery Mo Michelle Coursey Chris Grenfell Gary Oliver

Main Feature Writer Akihiro Yamasaki

Contributors this issue Jess Wilson, Gemma Osborne, Mazzy, Nick Elliot, Boulanger, Skot, Matt, Brie Jessen, Nick Maarhuis, Kerra McEwan, Sanaz, Danielle Thomson, Burton C. Bogan, CJ, Nick Chester, M. Emery, Sam Rogers, Vitamin C + Special K, El Groado, Gary Oliver, Uncle Jim, Hazazel, Kazuma Namioka, Leigh McGeady, Joe Citizen, Josh Drummond, ASPA, WSU

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Nexus – Bears no responsibility for dodgy translation software The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus Publications 2003 Ltd, any of our advertisers, WSU or APN. Actually we’re too tired to have views right now, so we faked them all. But if you have views, feel free to share them. As long as they’re not, like, libellous and stuff (not that we’re responsible for that either. Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

Editorial

Editorial Time: 3pm, Wed Place: Editor’s office Magazine completed: 12% Tiredometer: 2/10 Soundtrack: Rings Around The World, Super Furry Animals. (And Josh and Uncle Jim arguing over whether Emma Watson is really holding the alcohol bottle or if it’s photoshopped. I lean towards the latter). Long semester, huh? I’m going to celebrate the end of it by staying up for 48 hours making a film (and will have, by the time you read this). Wish the mighty Team Super Best retrospective luck. Warning – don’t come up and be a smartass to me on Monday. I’ll snap at you, and then print those dodgy photos I have of you and that sheep out in the fields (thought you were alone, huh?). Time: 7.55pm, Thur Place: Editor’s (messy) office Magazine progress: 43% Tiredometer: 3/10 Kilometres run: 11 Noodle Box portion consumed: 26% Specification sheets due on Wed sent to printers: 0. (Crap! Better send spec sheet.) Soundtrack: Something about R Kelly’s cereal in the cupboard is drifting in from the other room. Important graphic research, I guess. Dawn: Matt, you wanna write an editorial? You have opinions about stuff, right? Matt: I don’t like capitalism. Or materialism. Or bike thieves. Why don’t you just do a short one? Dawn’s snack sized editorial/rant. Mmm, snacks. Is anyone actually won over by Brash’s whiny ‘But Australians get tax cuts!’

BY DAWN

billboards? Although I like money as much as the next miser, they don’t do it for me. Sure, Australians may currently get a bit more cash. They also get better tans and the chance to play in the World Cup next month. And how about the Netherlands with their liberalism on recreational drugs and euthanasia? Not to mention the super privileged position they place their cyclists in. Now that would get my vote. Anyway, if you go by NZ’s financial stats and Te Radar, we’re already spending everything we have and a bit more getting into debt – despite earning more in comparison to necessary costs. Therefore, allowing people to put a flat screen TV on tick as well as a car is hardly going to help much when they need an urgent breast screening in 5 years. I don’t think Labour’s approach is all roses either, but if you’re in the relatively blessed opposition position, there are surely more effective ways to criticise. National have a good chance of winning the next election, given the cyclic nature of politics alone, but will need to focus on the country they live in and diversify the dirges to prove they offer more than a 2-dimensional quick fix. Time: 9.55pm, Thur Place: Same old Magazine progress: 64% Tiredometer: 5/10 Soundtrack: Nostalgic Catatonia medley My snack sized list of things to do over the break: Go to Fuel Festival shows Buy waterproof pants Buy mittens Get bit of metal bolted on to jawbone and 4 wisdom teeth pulled off jawbone Build a taniwha out of cans Buy 50 steam dumplings for $10 from a place on Silverdale Rd. Make marmalade Clean up Sleep Issue 12 29 May 2006

Time: 10.55pm, Thur Place: Not bed anytime soon. Stupid magazine. Magazine progress: Not finished. Stupid magazine. Tiredometer: 6/10 Soundtrack: Bloody loud blaring fire alarm. But apparently it’s the rec centre burning down, not us, so no big deal. Annoying noise though. Stuff left to do: Finish damn editorial. One more thing. Nexus is having its Break Up do for contributors on Thursday. There will be free beer and excellent company. If you’re a contributor/special friend, and have missed out on the spammy mailout, just come and ask about it and we’ll tell you the location via a secret code hidden in Matt’s last 6 covers that you can decipher by taking every 956th word in the Bible, removing the letters N,E,X,U, and S and translating the result from Greek to German to Japanese to L337 to English. Then add 42. Have a great break, and I’ll see you in July.

Designer’s Word BY MATT Doing Busted! is real fun. I make Josh talk to everyone because I can’t fuckin’ talk to anyone and I take pics (although times Josh steals the camera off me). Somehow, he seems to be able to charm the ladies and as you can probably see in Busted! this week, he manages to talk them into kissing each other as well. Yes, I am an absolute failure with women. So much so I’ve had no luck with them (not that luck plays much part of my get-girl-status – It’s more of I’m too stupid). I couldn’t chat up a girl to save my life – I’m more of diving in when I know the water is at the right temperature, togs on, a dry towel and sunscreen. Which means I never really talk to girls when out in town. Not to mention I’m super fussy. How many hot girls out there play Final Fantasy? Meanwhile, Nexus is gonna do some cool stuff during the break; Look out for it next semester. As for my girl problem, I just need to grow some balls.

NEXUS NEWS MONDAY, 29 MAY 2006

“KEEPING YOU UP-TO-DATE WITH WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK” COMPILED BY JOSH DRUMMOND

Somali Student Claims Assault BY JOSH DRUMMOND A Somali student claims she was “bashed” by a group of female attackers at Waikato University. The claimed assault took place last year on-campus, but the woman, who asked not to be named because of fears for her safety, said that there had been further assaults recently against her and her sister, by the same group of women. One apparently took place at a local supermarket on 23 April where, she says, her sister was attacked with a wheel brace and told “she could run and hide but when she gets caught she will be either dead or crippled.” It is understood the women have contacted police and victim support agencies in an effort to have their case heard. Kim Armstrong, the Waikato Students Union Women’s Rights Officer, said that she believed the police response to the woman’s complaint had been “absolutely shocking.” “When the girls came to see me they complained that [police] hadn’t been getting back to them.” Armstrong added that a series of meetings with the police had proved “unproductive.” “[They were] complacent, condemning, and said that the girls were just as much to blame as the attackers … they have communicated to [the girls] that they will be arrested for providing false information if it can be proven.” Kim also said that the officer spoken to had accused the women of fabricating evidence.

A spokesperson for the Hamilton Police said that the situation was “confusing.” “There has been huge confusion over this, as every person we talk to has a different version of events – which does complicate matters. We have spoken to both groups of girls, and warned them of the consequences should they continue fighting.”

“We have been investigating these incidents. The university situation, as we understand it, is that it was based in some kind of extended tribal/family conflict.” The latest attack reportedly took place at a wedding. The woman said that she and her sister had done nothing to provoke the attackers. “They attacked us for no reason. They came up behind me, scratched my face and hit my head. Two boys who saw called the doctor, and I later called the Student Union for help,” she said. The woman claimed she had no connection with the attackers, and that Issue 12 29 May 2006

she didn’t know why they were attacking her. “I’ve never talked to them, never mixed with them, I don’t have any connection with them.” She said that the attacks between groups were commonplace, and that she knew of other incidents. “A lot of other Somali girls have been attacked this year – one girl was attacked while shopping. She reported it to police, and the girls who did it called 111, and made lies about her.” She added that it was the practice of her attackers to call the police to complain about being threatened themselves. “Then they come and laugh at me, they say ‘we told the police you’re lying, they’re not going to believe you, they believe us.’” But Hamilton police say that they are taking the allegations seriously, and are investigating all reports. “There have been some conflict situations with two groups of Somali girls, and police have been called to incidents at the Uni, and other incidents at Hamilton Girls High,” said police spokesperson Kris McGehan. “We have been investigating these incidents. The university situation, as we understand it, is that it was based in some kind of extended tribal/family conflict.” Mc Gehan said that police were liaising with Somali elders in the ethnic community “We are working closely with the Somali community, who have been very helpful, and are very concerned about the issues as well. But we need more information from the two groups before we can take any legal action against anyone,” she said.

Budget Cuts Maori Grants BY NICOLA KEAN Maori students protested at Parliament last Wednesday after the “bombshell” announcement of the axing of the Manaaki Tauira grants in this month’s Budget. Manakki Tauira grants are ‘need’ based grants administered by the Maori Education Trust for Maori students facing financial hardship. Between $60 and $2000 is given out to around nine thousand students every year to help with University fees and other course related costs. But the Budget, released on 18 May, cut Ministry of Education funding for scholarships and bursaries for Maori and Pasifika students by $2.1 million over the 2006-2007 financial year - with the Manaaki Tauira programme being “wound down” at the end of the year. Maori Education Trust General Manager Doug Hauraki says the grants helped “a lot of students [who] would not meet the academic requirements of a lot of the other scholarships we administer”. He adds the

cutting of the grants means some Maori students may “now no longer possibly access any form of tertiary education.” Maori Party MP Te Ururoa Flavell agrees the cutting of the grants “means that the Maori student body will have fewer options” and that “a number of students may not participate in tertiary study”. The reason for the cutting of the grant is not yet clear. The office of the Minister for Tertiary Education Michael Cullen did not make a statement, but instead pointed Salient to statements made by Cullen during Parliament’s Question Time last Tuesday. Cullen told the Parliament that “interestfree student loans and increases in student allowances will by far more than compensate for the loss of that funding”, adding that the funding had been “reprioritised” to another programme. Flavell says Cullen’s justification was “disappointing”. The announcement took both the Trust and the national Maori student’s

News

association Te Mana Akonga (TMA) by surprise. TMA spokesperson Veronica Tawhai says she had “no idea” that the cuts were about to be made, and that TMA was “really, really freaking” about the announcement. Hauraki called the announcement a “bombshell” and says the Trust had been consulted once as part of the 2005 review of ethnic programmes. He refutes that there was mismanagement of the funds by the Trust and that it was costing too much to administer scholarships. “We averaged at $29 per application and the next best was in the vicinity of $260”, he says. Flavell also disputed claims of mismanagement “we’re talking about fifteen years of experience and all of a sudden the issue of managing it becomes a problem. I don’t think so.” Maori students last Wednesday packed the public galleries of the chamber to listen to Flavell’s speech criticising the cuts during the Budget debate, giving a rousing haka at his completion.

Student Charged In Baby “Tragedy” BY KATE NEWTON A second-year student at Studholme College is on bail after being charged with the manslaughter of her baby, in what Otago University Director of Student Services David Richardson says has been a “tragic situation for everyone involved.” The 20-year old international student was admitted to Dunedin hospital on Sunday, May 21 with serious internal bleeding after secretly giving birth to her baby in a Studholme Hall bathroom in the early hours of Sunday morning. Several hours after she arrived at hospital, Dunedin police located the body of the baby girl in a plastic bag hidden in the grounds of the Hall. Police charged the student after a post-mortem was conducted on the baby’s remains, but police are refusing to say whether or not the baby was alive when born. The student appeared in the Dunedin District Court last Tuesday

afternoon. As well as granting the student bail, the court has also granted her interim name suppression. Richardson says the University has provided the student with legal counsel, and the University’s Pacific Island Centre is “offering practical support to the [student’s] immediate family,” who arrived in New Zealand last Monday. The University is remaining tight-lipped about details surrounding the tragedy. The Marketing and Communications department issued an official statement last Tuesday that outlines the various support services the University offers students, but Richardson says that “no matter how good these programmes are, or how well we promote them, no one can force a student to seek professional or peer advice and support.” The statement also asked media to cease attempts to speak to students at Studholme or members of the student’s family. OUSA President Paul Chong echoes Richardson’s comments. “We do have a Issue 12 29 May 2006

number of services on campus – we like to think that we’ve got a fantastic service down at advocacy ... but ultimately we can’t force students to use it.” Chong says the situation is “tragic,” but “seems quite isolated.” He says that it is unusual that nobody worked out that something was amiss before the student gave birth, but does not think that this is due to a lack of support services offered by OUSA, the University and halls of residence. “I’m not exactly sure, but I imagine that if a student wanted to keep something ... a secret, and was focused enough to ensure that it didn’t get out, then ultimately it’s quite difficult for anyone else ... to actually dig deep enough and find it out. I’ve been told that there were, around the university, a few people [that] suspected [that the student was pregnant], but they didn’t think enough about it at the time.” The student “wasn’t just an outsider, she was quite well-known [at the Hall],” he says.

News

Student politicians and real politicians square off over Fee Maxima BY JOHN HARTEVELT

A fresh round of increases to maximum tertiary fee thresholds is “disappointing,” says New Zealand University Students’ Association CoPresident Conor Roberts. For the fourth consecutive year the government has announced that maximum tertiary fees will be allowed to increase at the forecast rate of inflation (2.5 percent) beyond the thresholds set down for a course in the previous year. Universities are currently allowed to increase fees in each course by no more than 5 percent annually, up to a specified ceiling level in each area of study. The government’s annual inflationary adjustment policy shifts that ceiling up by 2.5 percent for 2007. The 2.5 percent increase to the maximum

threshold at which fees can be set is part of the Government’s Fee Maxima policy. In response to enquiries made by Critic last week, the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) explained that, as usual, universities “can raise fees up to maxima but only if that increase is not greater than 5 percent.” However, the level of fees will continue to creep upwards as those institutions that already have their fees set close to, or at the maximum specified threshold are now able to go above the old thresholds by up to 2.5 percent. Roberts says that the threshold increase negates the intent of the Fee Course Cost Maxima (FCCM) policy. “Initially we supported the FCCM policy … because we thought it was a way of reducing fees,” says Roberts. He says the thresholds were “a mechanism” for “bringing fees down,” by keeping universities from lifting fees beyond an explicitly established nominal

Issue 12 29 May 2006

level. Given the ongoing inflationary adjustments, however, Roberts says that, “in effect, we were completely wrong and all that’s happened is that [the maxima policy has] allowed fees to go up [each year].” A spokeman for the TEC refutes Roberts’ claims. He says that “over the first two years of the FCCM policy the ratio of average university fees to average weekly wages hardly changed at all”. This means that while in nominal terms fees have increased, in real terms they have not changed much, according to the TEC. “While providers are entitled to raise their fees by up to 5 percent under the current policy, in practice, many raise their fees by less than this amount – in 2004, the average fee rise was less than 3 percent ... University fees are much more affordable than they were in 2000.”

News

Short Shorts

Kids get the runs

Potheads, rejoice!

OMG Fieldays are coming !!!1!1!

Join the Contours World Relay for Children on Saturday 10th June, and help raise $100,000 for UNICEF to build water and toilet facilities in 30 of the world’s poorest schools, in central Laos.

BY SALYNN BOYLES

Hamilton’s most prestigious event returns to Mystery Creek show grounds yet again this year. Not to be harsh, but this picture pretty much sums up the whole event.

You can help us clock up the kms we need to get round the world (40,076 kms in one day!), by spending just ten minutes on a piece of gym equipment at your local Contours branch - walk, run, cycle or row - it’s your choice. It only costs $10 per 10 minutes, with all funds raised going to UNICEF NZ (United Nations Children’s Fund).

While a clear increase in cancer risk was seen among cigarette smokers in the study, no such association was seen for regular cannabis users.

Book your 10 minute slot online at http://www.contours.co.nz/ - or if you want a good workout why not book 20 minutes, 30 minutes or even an hour there’s no limit! You can have exclusive use of your chosen equipment for just $430 - 43 x 10 minute slots - a fun, healthy team-building activity for a fantastic cause. We can also put your team name on the machine to show your support. To book a machine simply ring your local branch.

People who smoke marijuana do not appear to be at increased risk for developing lung cancer, new research suggests.

Even very heavy, long-term marijuana users who had smoked more than 22,000 joints over a lifetime seemed to have no greater risk than infrequent marijuana users or nonusers. The findings surprised the study’s researchers, who expected to see an increase in cancer among people who smoked marijuana regularly in their youth. “We know that there are as many or more carcinogens and co-carcinogens in marijuana smoke as in cigarettes,” researcher Donald Tashkin, MD, of UCLA’s David Geffen School of Medicine tells WebMD. “But we did not find any evidence for an increase in cancer risk for even heavy marijuana smoking.” Carcinogens are substances that cause cancer. - Fox News

Sarcasm aside, there is actually heaps of stuff to do at Fieldays. There’s the Sonic Arts Challenge, the Innovations Centre and the above Tractor Pull Competition, as well as the Ag Art Wear and Possum Fur Fashion Design Awards. Ag Art Wear Awards Coordinator Jessica Pantoja-Sanders is excited by the quality of entries in this year’s competition. “All categories, Avant Garde, Designer, Landcare and Under-21 section, have attracted top-quality entries and it is becoming increasingly difficult select winning garments” she says. The Ag Art Wear Awards attract entrants from around New Zealand and Australia with the opportunity to win cash prizes and see their design modeled in professionally choreographed shows. You may as well go, everyone else in Hamilton does.

Nexus Haiku News Customs seizes $153 million worth of P You’d be disappointed too If police took your P Away from you.

Mark Inglis’ climbing party leaves dying climber to… die. Left him sitting to die A permafrost popsicle Cos they were high.

Armless man drives at 121 km/h, gets busted (Watch for this one on fark.com) Fellow drove too fast

Police busted his ass Not (h)armless at all, then?

Five different organisations want HMNZS Canterbury Who wouldn’t want An ageing warship? Just think what you could do with it.

Zoo plays cupid for tigers

Hamilton tiger meets Auckland tiger To fuck Just like the Outback

Air Force Orion’s cockpit fills with smoke, forces landing Issue 12 29 May 2006

Stuff you probably already know – again!

Kiwi air force update due! our planes were old in 1982

Louise Nicholas accused face sex trial over new woman Rickards in trouble again For a threesome? Was it fun for her, too?

Maori Party Leader suggests Maori staff boycott powhiri Sexism concealed Under cover of culture Let women sit up front.

Crimebeat

Mr. Safety Bigglesworth in the

“Crimebeat on Campus” With very special guest – Spider-man! Hi, students! Before gaining enhanced spider powers, and web-zipping around via web-fluid, I found it markedly convenient to get around by bicycle. There’s no petrol to worry about, it keeps the environment nice and clean, and it keeps you fit. With all these advantages, who wouldn’t want one? The answer is no-one, apparently – bikes are an incredibly popular target for thieves. Now, there are times when your $15 Warehouse bike lock just won’t cut it when it comes up against a determined bike bandit wielding a pair of bolt cutters. Solution? Campus Security head honcho Ray Hayward tells me that there’s a secure centre for bikes under G Block which is apparently chronically underused. All you have to do to gain access to this ambulatory detention centre is pay Security a refundable $20 bond (at the Campus Security Centre – look at the campus map) which gets you a key. And let’s face it, any criminal determined enough to chew through

steel bars to get at your sweet bike probably needs it more than you do. More bike news: If your two-wheeled wonder does get nicked, it sometimes makes like a boomerang and comes back. Here’s the thing: thieves often grab an unguarded cycle for a quick bit of joyriding. When they’re done, they leave your chain-driven contraption crashed in a culvert. And they’re often reported to the cops, who come and collect them. So, should you fall victim to a cycle con, report it stolen. The Blue Boys will take a note of it. Should it show up, chances are you’ll get it back. And because there are plenty of bike thievings that go unreported, the cops have an excess at the moment. Here’s a pic of a few that came in last week (they’re red, blue and green, if that helps). If any of these might be yours, nip down to Campus Security and stake a claim. You’ll soon be back on the streets, annoying motorists at rush hour. And isn’t pissing people off the true essence of being a cyclist? Take care, Peter Parker (AKA The Amazing Spider-man.)

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Exec Evaluations Part one

For your edification, we look through a few of the executive’s reports of the last semester. Have they been lively or lazy? WSU President Sehai Orgad

Report highlight: ‘It remains evident that we have many different personalities within the exec and our interpersonal communication HAS to be open if we want to operate as a complete team’ Firstly, Sehai has written a whole lot of reports, impossible to sum up in 200-odd words and somewhat hard to get through on a tight timeframe. As a sample, she starts off in February with an emphasis on the importance of exec co-operation and strategic planning, and moves into March detailing developments on the University Council and Academic Board among other things. Sehai has been involved in consultation meeting on the Uni’s draft strategic plan and attended Uni Games, a week’s worth of graduation ceremonies and a FEDEX meeting, and presented a Recognyz award. Recent actions include a focus on establishing a brand identity for the WSU and pushing the development of a new logo. She has been helping with in student hardship cases, distributed political information pertaining to tertiary issues, commented to the press when required, approached the Management school to sponsor the NZUSA conference, organised a fortnightly meeting with Komiti Awhina and found time to help judge Uni Idol last week. The reports are comprehensive and regular. If we’re being stingy, you could say Sehai loses .5 of a point for consistent lateness with her Nexus blurbs and not including any quotable innuendo, but from a student point of view there’s not much to fault on the work ethic and transparency so far. Keep an eye on the President next semester to see the results of the various pies she has fingers in, and see if sleep features on the agenda. 4.5/5

students in order to speak to them and hear their concerns. She has investigated and evaluated insurance policies for international students and made recommendations on that front. A major project has been setting up the Culture Crisis Clinic and Sonja is now looking for ways to increase attendance and participation. She’s supported international students having trouble with cheques, attended NZUSA conference and International Orientation, and is involved in the ISSG and Disciplinary Committee. In the true tradition of International Officers, Sonja is hard working, friendly and 4/5 thoroughly underutilised by her constituents.

Education Officer Andrew Pritchard On how he survives exec meetings: ‘Personally, I just don’t go to them. It’s been working great so far.’ This mystery man possibly prefers to work in private. Andrew started off 2006 with a…hollow silence, as nobody was quite sure if he really existed. He does, but apparently prefers not to subject people to blurbs in Nexus or even attend exec meetings, although he has made it to one or two in recent times. Andrew just makes it to a whole point for filling out a Sexy Exy questionnaire and periodically providing comic relief as a recurring character in popular column ‘Split Decision’. But he may have to lift his efforts to achieve his aim of ‘getting a more realistic education policy in 1/5 place for the WSU’. Maybe semester 2 will be the big one. Next Semester – we check out the remaining exec members. Scores given are lighthearted and subjective. If you’d like to know more, you can read minutes, have input into WSU exec action anytime or possibly even become one yourself (woot). To keep up with the play and be involved, go along to the upcoming SGM and the OSM (pages 30-31)

Disabled Students’ Issues Officer Jeff Hawkes

Report highlight: ‘I have, in the course of this month, become quite familiar with the erection’. Jeff’s most recent report has no less than 14 paragraphs beginning with ‘I’. Although mildly monotonous in a reading sense, this bodes well for a report full of action, and so it turns out. One of Jeff’s big achievements for the semester was organising various musical performances on campus throughout May, often setting up the gear and mixing the sound as well, and these were well received by students. Jeff has also represented WSU at the Rev120 event, liased with fluoride campaigners, presented a full report on all the workshops at the NZUSA January conference, attended a Bird Flu Pandemic Contingency Committee and looked into pandemic emergency plans, attended various meetings (WEL Energy Trust, Cultural Committee, NZ Environmental Assoc, and every exec meeting), submitted blurbs to most Nexuses and attempted to ‘maintain a positive composure throughout’ while supporting fellow exec. Ahh. Jeff also joined the Uni Idol fray as a contestant, treating a wide audience to ‘Proud Mary’ last Wed (Whether plus or minus points are deserved for that I’ll leave up to you and 4/5 the judges).

International Students’ Officer Sonja Gruebmeyer Report highlight: ‘Due to the lack of a suitable room for internationals to meet on campus, I have set up the Culture Crisis Clinic, to get in touch with more internationals,’ Sonja has been a keen contributor to Nexus throughout the semester, and has taken her WSU role seriously – to the point of stalking international Issue 12 29 May 2006

Send your letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz, by Tuesday 5pm, and the best one wins a $5 voucher for Campus Kiosk – conveniently located in the Cowshed for all your snacking needs. Write to us now – it’s your last chance until semester 2!

Lettuce Policy

LETTERS OF THE MONTH As a celebration of the end of semester, 3 lucky people get $5 vouchers to Campus Kiosk this week. Ben, Georgia and Chef Alfonzo. Come ‘n’ geddit! You can stock up on chocolate and Red Bull before exams.

Christian Stereotypes Unfair I was a bit irritated when I saw last week’s winning letter – about being harassed by Christians at uni. This seems to be a popular theme at the moment. I’m personally nonChristian, and yes, I was getting a bit sick of religious groups hounding me to join up around clubs week, but I think it’s a bit presumptuous to imply that all Christians on campus are that way. The other day two girls from Student Life approached me (and first asked if I wished to be spoken to, I might add), and very politely explained about their group, offering me reading material if I wished to take it. Also offering to discuss religious things if I wished. I declined, and they graciously left. I would hardly call that harassment. I think all groups and clubs should be allowed to let students know about themselves (provided they do it in a courteous way). It’s disappointing to think that stuff written in to Nexus might be making perfectly respectful, friendly Christians feel bad and embarrassed about their faith. I reckon all students are probably old enough and mature enough to realise that stereotyping people is just unfair and stupid cos you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Georgia Summers

Nexus Love

I’d just like to say that this weeks Nexus was pretty good. You know when you are getting a quality publication when it takes you more than one lecture to read right through. Good job guys. Ben

Guess Who’s Coming To Fuck Up Dinner – Win!

dear nexus, after reading the “flat feed” in your magazine

Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters pages — serious or otherwise. Letters should be no more than 250 words and received by 5pm on the Tuesday before publication. All letters will generally be printed so give it a bash, but the editor retains the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Bad spelling and grammar will not be corrected — proof it yourself or you’ll look dumb. Pseudonyms are acceptable but all letters must include your real name and contact details even if you don’t want them printed. We discourage the use of pseudonyms for serious letters.

i became dissillusioned, being a chef in this godforsaken town and having been a student here too ill be dammed if i had da pingas to go out for dinner (exept mei wah’s) let alone canvas or cook “rack of lamb”. the readers of your fine publication deserve the truth behind student meals so here goes. we all know that piss is high on the priority list , so first up spend up all of your money on beer. done that? good. u hongry? good. you passd stage 1. only after we lose everything are we free to do anything. stage 2 is setting the scene. walk home from town in the rain, pissed. that sizzler sandwich is gonna taste pretty damn good now. so heres my soloution for student hunger: ill donate my precious time to this worthy cause by running my own competition: guess whos coming to fuck up dinner? chef alfonzo (onzo) ramierez will arrive at your flat on sunday nite with a box of 20 NZ LARGER to create mayhem (and possibly a cullinary masterpiece) out of the ingredients in your kitchen. to enter just text the best reason you deserve the award winning talents of this fine chef to 027 645 9926. the winner will be featured (hopefully) in next nexus. chef alfonzo (onzo) ramierez Ed’s note – Due to the semester break, the next Nexus will come out July 10. Look forward to seeing who wins and what Chef Onzo comes up with.

Anti-Rage

Dear Nexus, I’m not what you’d call an ‘avid’ reader of your publication, but I enjoy flicking through it most weeks and reading things that grab my particular interests. One of my favourite past times as a reader of publication has been reading and absorbing rant columns. I was disappointed to find that your rant column ‘Rage in a Cage’ falls well below the mark of a reputable rant column, so to speak. Issue 12 29 May 2006

Who is this guy? Every week I find myself asking, ‘What did I gain from reading this?’ In all cases thus far, NOTHING. Not only that, but I feel I lost something every time I read it. I lose time. Time I could have spent masturbating. The past two weeks readings have been about Mathew Ridge and ridiculously obvious reasons why Maori MP’s should straighten up and fly right with the rest of us, (no pun intended). I can safely say on behalf of the majority that subject matter concerning ‘Why Mathew Ridge gets on your goat’ is dubious. I’m in a pickle here, Nexus. Most, (near all) of your publication is well written and jam packed with useful ideas and information. But if may send a message, (a rather venomous one, if I say so myself). Get some better material ‘Mr Rant Column’ or in future leave published opinions to the learned adults. Michael

Toilet Paper Solution

To all students noting the lack of suitable toilet paper, and noting that this magazine no longer is appropriate for the job... look into going into the library... there is free paper there.... No not the books you fools... The student exam timetables make excellent paper planes, and also the a semester timetable is superior source of glutumius maximus cleansing material. It doesn’t rip, tear, and yet possesses excellent absorbency properties... However this resource is limited, so stock up now people, before they run out and we are subjected to wandering campus with the delicate aroma of soiled undergarments wafting through the delicate zephyrs of academia... Following the time honored mantra espoused from the management departments (accounting) I intend to alleviate this situation

Lettuce and assist my fellow students from this humaniterian plight at 50c a sheet from the steps of the maim campus library between L block and S block , moving to management if security questions my loitering.... I have already got over 350 of them so ‘mlh’ to my competition. (_|_) Now enough of this ass wiping material, lets get back to finding some funny jokes. Signed Richard Cranny

Still on the Bum Topic

Hey nexus Just wondering if uni has anywhere out of the rain to put bikes cos my bum keeps getting wet from the seat and my bike is getting a bit rusty? and if we had a bike shed we could hook up with girls there and stuff too, cos I hear thats what you do. at the momemt, the wet bum look seems 2 be putting the chicks off. any ideas would be cool. James Hi James - help is in sight! According to the helpful Tony from Security, there is indeed an undercover bike shed on campus, and it’s secure too. It’s located by G block basement, near R Block. You need to purchase a key for $20 from Security, but this money will be refunded at the end of term when you hand the key in. Probably well worth doing for anyone with a nice bike – Ed.

Ups To Tech Degrees

Re the leading news story in nexus 11 on the communications degree name changes – good article, etc, but what’s with the ‘sounded like a tech degree’ comment being a negative? I have a degree from wintec and I’m damn proud of it – it reflects a fuckload of work and learning over 3 years, at least as much so as a uni degree (which seems to be a whole lot more foccussed on regurgitating textbooks in the correct way, hence why I left, but that’s another argument). By all means make your feelings heard over the name change biz – its important and does affect perception– but no reason to diss a tech degree. Techman You want to know something funny? 3 out of the 4 paid employees at Nexus either have or are studying for a Tech degree. –Matt

You Guys Used To Be Cool

I remember the time when I acquired my

entire musical happening knowledge from the Nexus Gig Guide, and occasionally Citric. But there has been a serious lapse recently in your research. Two of New Zealand’s hugest bands played at Axces Bar on Friday 19th May. These two bands were Steriogram and Deja Voodoo, I am a masssssssive fan of Deja Voodoo, and how was I to know of this life changing experience when you never said a word about it? Early on Saturday morning (4ish) I woke to my sassy ring tone. It was a text message from my mate Richie saying “I didn’t see you at Deja Voodoo.” Well no shit Richie, that’s because Nexus used to be cool, but Nexus has changed. But if you don’t mind changing again, this time for the better, that would be much appreciated. Please make sure you put all the gigs in you Gig Guide, especially ones with New Zealand’s big artists! From C. Norris Thanks for the feedback. Sorry we missed that gig, but basically we only know stuff’s on if people tell us (by deadline and cool as we are, we didn’t get a whisper about that one. Rark up the promoters – Ed.

No Soft Option For Cops

Hi nexus. Reading the regulars [in issue 10] I came across “The second oldest profession” and I fully agree with Chris when he/she says being a cop isn’t easy. Then why the fuck are they thinking of ‘softening’ the credentials in order to attract more potential cops. Now this (in my opinion) is bullshit. I mean why the fuck would they do that? They are effectively creating a future problem for themselves by letting the ‘dregs’ into the police force who may very well use this authority to their advantage and corrupt our country. A Brazilian friend once told me that in his home town you can get away with absolutely anything if you pay the cops enough money. Is that what we want in good ol’ NZ? Well my answer is fuck no! Fuck that! Even if I did want to spray some blood, I don’t think id be able to afford some corrupt fuckers price to keep him from beating my ass and leaving me in a dark alley somewhere behind the outback left to die after a tazer or two. (Eye for an eye?) Well anyway more to the point, Chris stated that the police are “charged with upholding the law and protecting society from society.” Well how are they meant to do that when Issue 12 29 May 2006

they are severing their own set guidelines of how much force to use when dealing with an offender by letting potential offenders loose in our midst? Keep the credentials as they are. And for the love of god don’t let them tazer me….! Love D. Josh A.K.A Jonnie good citizen. P.S your mom goes to college.

Randomness

deer don my oldly mama was so spacticated wid overjoy at her only wombly sun is but now a publicated poit dat she but did have to expire to her sickly bed leasts the ramifacamacations of her overjoy but did do her an evilness. my oldly but fraily papa was of two mixtamotions one was overjoy and proudly spactication da other was shame at only spermly suns unspelling that he has taken to the buttle and was den got so alchoholamalised dat he did but forget to milk da goat again. da goat got an extra meanly huffle on and den but did eat my papas big word book and is now rit his own lettuce to your noose paper...yours trubbly mike miller here is does goats lettuce: dear don I was remarking only yesterday to my colleage Roussseau, the border collie, on the fine articles and cutting political asides held in last weeks “nexus’ [very tasty] when he suggested to me that I should run for parliament on the anti-goat microchipping ticket and the pro shiny paper ammendment lobby...food for thought. yours truly mike millers fraily papas gpot

CJ and Macca. Good On Ya Mate.

I’m seriously loving the classic rock reviews for sure. But can you make the competitions a bit easier to win for someone such as myself with a very busy Monday, in which I can’t get to a computer to email my answer until about 3pm. And also could you get you guys do a review on Never Mind The Bollocks? That’d be sweeeeeeeeeet. From “I Wanna Be Anarchy”.

Proud to be Gay on 20 May!

My name is Mathew and I have been “out of the closet” now for four years, and I couldn’t be happier! My partner of three years, CONTINUED ON THE NEXT PAGE...

Lettuce

We strongly encourage the gay community to voice their opinion, why should we not be included in society? Many straight people think I am “normal” and would know me as a professional athlete, as I have taken time off studying to fulfill my dreams as a professional sports athlete. In the gay community, we believe that everyone should be happy of who they are, and be able to share happiness with whomever they choose, of either sex. We do not however appreciate the deplorable abuse we receive from non-gay members of the public. We don’t go around saying you shouldn’t be strait, so what makes it acceptable for you to sticky beak into our business? We are not impressed! This is just arrogance! It is not helping the cause to be perfectly honest. This behavior is petty, and university students should not be so rouge! We have had enough, so what if I am a pretty boy - I’m so hypothetic in my resentment. Proud to be Gay (on 20 May) p.s I like the shiny paper, its easier on my frequently ravished tooshie!

Opinion Relationships – Who’d have ‘em? BY LILY MOSS

Something in Burton’s column this week struck a chord with me and it caused me to ponder relationships…yet again, and amidst the attempted rescue of my rapidly escaping brain function. What is it that makes us continuously go back to the proverbial well for what will inevitably be another poisoned beverage? Forgive me for sounding bitter, but I was recently dubbed the “Bridget Jones-like spinster” of our respective group. Not my crowning achievement in my thoughts. But seriously (?) the motivation to spend such a vast amount of our expensive time in another’s company seems to be one of the primary objectives of our lives. Yet in the pursuit of aforesaid ‘happiness’ as Burton so eloquently put it, our “already bruised balls got another shoeing” (which is one of the greatest metaphors I’ve heard recently). For some, this is no barrier, and I am eternally

Damn Thievin’ Thieves Dear nexus, Recently I had my bike taken from me. It was locked up next to the public toilets in town which is right next to the Riff Raff statue and taken sometime between 1-4am Sat 20th May. The thing that annoys me the most is that my bike was locked up yet still stolen. It has greatly inconvenienced me and most likely the thief is ruining my already crappy bike (which wasn’t really worth stealing anyway – aside for having sweet-as spokey dokeys but if they really wanted them they could have pulled them off). Anyway, if anyone sees a blue BMX Supersport bike with gnarly spokey-dokeys, please call/text 021 047 9089. I’d really like my bike back as I’ve had it since I was 6 and it has huge sentimental value. I’m not out for revenge or violence or anything, I would just really like my bike back please. Matt Answer to page 28 quiz: I have no idea! I got these pictures off the internet, how on earth would I be able to tell if they were queer or not? It’s like that at Uni, you may think you don’t know any queer people but you probably know heaps – because they look just the same as the others! Yay for queer awareness! So just think when you make that homophobic joke next time, the people sitting next to you could be queer themselves.

Andrew, and I are deeply in love and share many intimate times together and wish to for the rest of our lives.

jealous of such people. How does one decide if this is ‘it’? The lengths that the masses go to in order to discover euphoria with another being (human or otherwise) is positively mind-boggling. (Warning: be careful that you don’t ponder too much, or you could conceivably boggle right into another universe or plane of existence). I admire the couples who can miraculously make something as difficult as a longdistance relationship work. In another twist of fate, some knowledge came to me recently that at a Danny Bhoy gig in the past, someone grabbed the mic off said performer and proposed to his then-girlfriend who promptly refused him in front of a theatre full of complete strangers. Did this enchanted but misguided aspiring Casanova lie down and give up? Or did he go on to woo the wo/man of his dreams? The fate of this urban-legend character has not yet come to my attention. Gone are the days of Mr Darcy and such characters, where the boundaries were clearly defined and genuine affection led couples towards union. Personally, such boundaries would probably make things clearer for today’s generations. If I had a dollar for every time someone complained about the actions or motivations of their paramour or unrequited love - well, needless to say I would be happily out of debt, retired for fifteen years and living Issue 12 29 May 2006

like a Queen in Patagonia (50 points if you get the movie reference). Generally, I’ve observed the complete oblivious nature of the prey - usually they are blissfully unaware that they are being hunted, or are too damn stupid to do anything about it. But honestly, how hard would it be to say to someone “I’m sorry but I would rather carve my own heart out with a rusty spoon then systematically consume all my internal organs than spend another nano-second in your revolting company”? Seriously. That seems like a cake-walk to me. Patronising couples have this disturbing tendency to a) set you up on a terrible blind date or b) give you such platitudes as “When you least expect it, is when it will happen”. If I hear this one more time..! But I still have not come to any conclusions or experienced any revelations pertaining to the pursuit of happiness. I think that if I chalk it up to hormonal imbalance or some such, it will be sufficiently explained and I should just let it go. Sigh. I suppose that if I resign myself to the fact that people are stupid and will always do stupid things, then I can in that find some measure of ignorant bliss. Peace out.

ネクサスＡ学期最終号特別企画ＮＥＸＵＳ - ＴＨＥＬＡＳＴＩＳＳＵＥＩＮ ‘Ａ’ ＳＥＭＥＳＴＥＲ - ＳＰＥＣＩＡＬＴＯＰＩＣ

Akihiro Yamasaki hunts out some international students (with difficulty), and gets their angle on what studying here is really like. “Not many internationals know I exist.” I later realised what Sonja, WSU International Students’ Officer, had really meant. They don’t come to you; you’ve got to be extravagant enough to approach them. My international hunt was bogged down at its initial stage. My name is Aki, a Waikato graduate of BSocSci with the psychedelic combination of Psychology and Chinese. I have been in Aotearoa the exact same duration as Brad Pitt was mucking around Tibet. Contacting all cultural clubs on campus and all ethnic organisations in Htown for this article made me fraught with desperation after getting few responses. International student centre? What is their real job anyway? I had to quickly move on to a new strategy in “capturing” students - asking absolutely awesome workmates and friends of mine and my partner, plus a mind-blowing one-day trip. Morning - Church, lunch - Sikh temple, afternoon - Mosque, night - on the live show at Community Radio! As a result, I am now pleased to introduce my fellow CIA agents (Central International student Agency) who offered their stories to share with us: Gavin (Chinese), Penny,

Momoko (AUT), Li lin, James (Wintec), Selina, Ivy, Susan, Walter (Wintec), Zoe, George, Eileen, Kate (Wintec) (Thai), Hono (Japanese Fijian), Prakash (Malaysian), Karan (Indian), Sonja (German) and a few more students who preferred to be anonymous. They attained my absolute appreciation for their cooperation. Kia ora!

The good experiences for internationals I received heaps of positive responses about the warmth of Kiwis. Prakash has been enjoying New Zealand life and interacting with a mix of ethnicities, including friendly Kiwis. The friendliness that Kiwis show to him gives him a big smile. “When I go to shops, the cashiers are soooo friendly, and people here smile more often than in Malaysia. It is just nice when you meet a complete stranger and they give you a smile - that usually makes my day.” Penny travelled Christchurch where she was touched by the friendliness of the locals. “It was a beautiful place, not only because of the city view but also because of the people. They gave helped to make us travellers feel so warm” Issue 12 29 May 2006

Problems with English One pregnant Japanese woman rushed into hospital after realising she was in danger of miscarriage. After consulting a JapaneseEnglish dictionary, she yelled out to the doctor in English, “Abortion, abortion, quick!” This is because the editor of the dictionary confusingly listed the word. (Note - in Japanese, miscarriage is ryuzan, abortion can be sometimes said Jinkou (artificial) ryuzan, similar word eh). Fortunately, an abortion was not done. But you too have probably been confused by what international students wanted to say. I admit my English has a noticeable Japanese accent that can become an ‘icemaker’ for some New Zealanders. Kate is a Thai student who has a fetish tendency in referring to herself as ‘Little Bitch’. “When I first came to NZ, sometimes I felt nervous and even shaking if I had to talk to [people] because they seemed to be bit annoyed by my accent.” She met a woman who said to her: “I don’t know what you are trying to say, go and ask somebody else” and turned her back on her - on the first day in NZ. But she is thankful for the people who try hard to understand her English. We can feel this easily.

Feature

Constant verbal abuse is not uncommon for Asian students during their life in NZ. One male student from Asia heard a shout from the passing car - “Fucking Asian.” I also hear this type of dumb remarks from cars, but more often it’s a couple of students. English competency of international students varies significantly. Some may be described like the dancing of Rodney Hide: full of enthusiasm with a ‘just acceptable’ level of ability. But mates, I’d like to ask for your extended patience in listening to internationals. Advice to international students from Prakash, “One of the reasons most Kiwis refrain from talking to Asians (especially Chinese) is because they themselves fail to take into consideration of people sitting next to them. DON’T SPEAK IN YOUR OWN LANGUAGE WHEN SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE IS PRESENT”. Yeah, it was truly uncomfortable to be surrounded by 7,8 young people having me on in English or the language at the Sikh temple…

Lousy Experiences Having seen a sticker that reads ‘JAP SUX’ at the police station (I hate to be called Jap anyway), I have to think we internationals really do live with discrimination in NZ. It’s real. I like the idea of Hono’s theory about labelling. Hono believes that “what people get called depending on their appearance is often broad and too generalised, it’s almost derogatory. In NZ, Asians to me often almost implies Chinese”. My fellow Japanese, I think so too. So what nuisances do ‘Asians’ encounter? Constant verbal abuse is not uncommon for Asian students during their life in NZ. One male student from Asia heard a shout from the passing car - “Fucking Asian.” I also hear this type of dumb remarks from cars, but more often it’s a couple of students. A friend and I also encounter the remark “gay” (coincidently, almost always from a couple of blokes), despite the fact we are horny straight. This is my theory - New Zealanders are encouraged to play sports involving physical contact, but overreact to homosexuality, even to the unintentional touch which might be a little ‘feminine’. This dilemma causes the exhibition of verbal abuse from people proclaiming their heterosexuality to the group or repressing their own gay leanings due to the NZ ‘code’. Physical attack on international students is

relatively rare, but still happens. Disgraceful immature Kiwis like to throw basically everything from their cars. The Waikato Times (24/5/06) reported that a Korean couple (the wife was pregnant) had stones and eggs thrown at them in Flagstaff. Eileen and her friend were also hit by eggs. A patron at old bar threw a cigarette at my down jacket (I called the police, but they didn’t come.) And in a more serious case recently, a psycho exposed his cock to female int’l students near the lake ON THIS CAMPUS. Are Waikato internationals in danger? Ivy was absolutely terrified to even remember the car accident which resulted in her favourite Mitsubishi car, aka ‘her spouse’, being written off. The Kiwi driver failed to give away to her at the intersection and caused the accident. The injury to her body was not serious, but for a while the traumatic accident flashbacked to her at each intersection. As she never ever wanted her parents to worry, she had to pretend she was having a great time in NZ on the phone without mentioning the accident. She has to wait for another five years to have full indemnification for the cost of her car from the driver. I shall quote a warning from Sonja to internationals - “International student insurance will not cover the cost of damaged cars.”

Financial situation The more the value of Japanese yen drops against NZ dollars, the less my yen is worth for advancing my study in Psychology. Higher living costs every year is also off-putting for internationals. Li lin is now forced to pay her tuition fee half yearly instead of annually, which means she must apply for a student visa twice in a year and pay the separate $105 visa application fees. Penny is in a financial situation where she has to be very selective in purchasing even necessary stuff. Most students told me they were in part time employment up to the 20 weekly hours currently allowed. “The minimum wage here is just too low, and the employers seem to take unfair advantages of students,” said one. “I believe the immigration needs to increase the number of hours allowed for the students to Issue 12 29 May 2006

work, to at least 25.” I was appalled to hear other people’s stories on poor conditions at workplaces. Some international students work just for $5 per hour at restaurants, and in other cases, the manager verbally abuses workers using a variety of swear words.

International romance Many were unwilling to talk about their romantic relationship for a student magazine, but not Momoko. Born and raised in the historical city of Xi-an, Momoko soon faced a dilemma between her traditional Chinese values and her (former) Kiwi boy friend. “It wasn’t ‘whose-fault’ type issue, we just couldn’t overcome the cultural difference. For instance, in my opinion, Kiwis are free from the moral obligation of taking care of their aged parents, but [that’s] different in China: It is the children’s responsibility to do so. I just couldn’t really appreciate some Kiwi values when I was in an intimate relationship”. Cultural differences hampered the relationship in Momoko’s case. George, my cool boss, offered another example illustrating that even couples from the same country would find difficulties in a foreign land. Splitting bills is an utterly new concept in China, and considered to be embarrassing or inappropriate on some occasions. Nevertheless, exposed to Western concepts, more and more Chinese students choose the “let’s go Dutch” payment method, a different story. In Chinese culture, I would assume that paying the entire bill can help the host save face and receive appreciation from the guests, and it can also be lubricant for a harmonious ongoing relationship. It would be human nature that people want to help others who’ve helped them, in this regard; those efforts theoretically, lead to further circle of good association. Splitting the bill doesn’t produce those effects. You see the completely different consequences of a mere cultural difference in payment? Guess its impact on relationships!

Is there recognition of Waikato University back in our countries? Malaysia? ‘No.’ (male student) India? ‘[It’s] rated pretty high. The employers seem to favour those with a Waikato qualification. The Management school is pretty well known in the local universities for excellence.’ (Karan) Japan?

Feature ‘Research by Dr. Peter Molan at Biology on the active effect of Manuka honey was publicised on the midday show. The majority of audiences (health-conscious “aunties”) were imprinted with the name of Waikato [from that].’ Thailand? ‘Not sure about Waikato, but [I] heard New Zealand is the best place to study Accounting.’ (Kate) China? ‘Management school is well known.’ (Penny) ‘Waikato Uni is not the well-recognised institute in China.’ (Selina) ‘Waikato isn’t as famous as Auckland Uni or Massey Uni.’ (James) ‘No, but Massey is well known.’ (Susan) Ha? Massey? James and Susan presented an intriguing fact here. Some people may be surprised, but their point is apparently supported by the “Top 200 universities” list in the Times Higher Education Supplement (UK). While Waikato was not ranked in the top 200, Massey University is one of three New Zealand universities chosen by the magazine. (The latest figure shows Auckland-52, Otago186, Massey-188).

Cool lecturers selected by my CIA agents Accounting - Mary Low Chinese - Maria Galikowski CUP - Gemma Piercey Economics - Steven Lim Human development - Monica Payne Political Science - Ron Smith Psychology - Jane and James Ritchie, Bernard Guerin Strategy and Human Resource Management - Neil Harnisch, Glyn Jones Tourism & Hospitality Management - Tim Lockyer While Gavin prefers lecturers from another country or the really old ones (no offence intended), he would like to say something about lecturers whose English isn’t as smooth as native speakers. “While I don’t doubt their academic ability, the difficulty (not me, but others complain) of having to deal with [our] own English shortcomings and the severe accent of the lecturers [combined] can be a huge challenge. And they tend not to comprehend questions from students and rely hugely on lecture notes and for this reason students don’t really have to come to class.”

Perception of international student crimes The suitcase murder in Auckland harbour, a series of kidnappings by students, and the recent Dunedin infant murder would be enough to make Kiwis think of international students as being harmful to NZ society. What is the main cause of Asian crimes, mainly by Chinese students? Gavin offered a compelling reasoning for the kidnapping in the Chinese society. “[In] the legal systems in China the law does not hold supreme, a lot of things don’t get settled in court. Kidnapping for ransom is definitely more [effective] and certainly enough films have depicted it to influence young people to some extent, perhaps even enough to include it in their decision-making as a viable course of action. Since language barriers tend to make the Chinese stick to themselves, they are dealing with people for whom kidnapping is not a foreign concept.” “I guess most Chinese students are good, only a few of them do something wrong or bad because they are too young, too emotional. They were released from their parents, so they feel free, high, and as a result, they lose themselves.” (Susan). Hono had his grey BMX Avanti 720 stolen, and suspects an Asian guy. But he says such things shouldn’t make people paranoid. “They happen because dumbass parasites exist those disrespectful, self-concerned nutters” Momoko suspect the entire root of crimes originates from the excessive love Chinese parents give to their one child, giving him/her a lot of money although they don’t know what their child is actually doing in NZ. Resultantly, some of them are not well disciplined. I personally concluded that the notorious Chinese gang “she tou/Snakehead” now operating in Auckland is partly responsible for the increased crimes (Note 1: Increase in kidnapping is a world trend (By Prestige Protection). Note 2: Asian targeted kidnappings by Kiwis were also confirmed). A New Zealand Herald article (‘Young gangs looking for victims’ 8/3/05) seemed support my conclusion: “Rich and young students were being targeted by Chinese gangs in Auckland every week.” (The aforementioned ‘Snakehead’ gang was not touched on in that

article). PhD student Zoe believes more governmental support and keeping life busy are crucial factors acting as deterrence to involving illegal activities. “Developing friendship would be a very powerful prevention. Having more close friends [makes it more] difficult to think about the stupidity than having few friends, as there is more chance that some of them would have sense of justice to prevent him/her going any further.” Currently six New Zealand nationals are serving jail terms in Japanese prisons. The Japanese police arrested a Kiwi rugby player last year in relation to assaulting three bar staff. But most of you guys are nice eh? That’s what internationals know, I reckon. By the same token, only a small portion of students are fucking shit - most of them are nice. Warning! The Herald adds “Extortion rings also operate in Hamilton”, “Gangs will look for victims who can be easily captured. They will know the rich in an area or know someone who knows the family.” We may need to listen to Momoko, residing in Auckland “You’d better not show off how rich you are, don’t go to some entertaining places too often. The group members could be somewhere looking for rich people always.”

What international students want to say to Kiwis ‘Please don’t get annoyed by our accent, we are trying our best’ (Kate) ‘You guys are just so lucky that you were born here and can study here. You have much more freedom than others. If you have any chance, get out and take a look at others, you will not complain anymore’ (Female student) ‘Sometimes we are shy, maybe it’s the same to you guys, but we really wanna make friends with you guys’ (Susan) Being an international student isn’t easy but there are many ways to share your experiences and meet people. Join a club, talk to the WSU International Students Officer, check out ICF’s English language night on Thursday, write to Nexus, write for Nexus. Thanks to all who shared their stories and comments.

‘You guys are just so lucky that you were born here and can study here. You have much more freedom than others. If you have any chance, get out and take a look at others, you will not complain anymore’ Female student Issue 12 29 May 2006

s ’ t a Wh g Goin On?

BREAK!

New York’s hottest breakdancing show comes to Auckland BY HANNAH YEN

FUEL FESTIVAL

Here in Hamilton June 19 – July 8 BY JOE CITIZEN

There is nothing quite so captivating and stimulating as live theatre. Big beautiful productions of spectacle and presence always have me flicking through the flyer with an antcipationary hunger. This year’s Fuel Festival looks particularly lush - there’s an abundance of talent leaping from the pages and I can’t wait to go and see as much of it as I can. There has never been a better time to go and see New Zealand theatre - these are generous servings of our stories on stage. Each has a rich store of variety – productions incorporating multimedia or multi-disciplinary works look like the norm and will make this year one of the best seasons yet. Gone are the days of the theatre in a suitcase, these are prestigious examples of nationally acclaimed work that are easily accessible to everyone for three electrifying weeks. No wonder the festival is called Fuel - everything looks packed with substantial verve and outstanding performance. Dance, comedy, music, drama, opera and glamour – as Stanislavsky said: “The language of the body is the key that can unlock the soul.” There’s so much to choose from my biggest problem is figuring out what is the most important. Top three for me are: ‘Athletes of the Imagination’ a mixture of dance, 3D animation and film, ‘The Magnificent Seventeen’ a spoof of Westerns everywhere and ‘Stories Told to Me by Girls’ which are true stories incorporating live video and a sexy sound track. I take it back, I really want to go and see everything, and I just don’t know how to fit all 23 Kiwi productions into the time frame. If I have one complaint, it’s that there’s not enough time to see everything. Many of the major productions however are available as exclusive school performances as part of the FUEL 4 Youth programme. The spotlight also shines on youth this year with the Aotearoa Playwrights Conference, which runs parallel to the festival and helps to foster young theatre talent including the development of new scripts. These are not insignificant events on the nation’s calendar, and it’s all happening here in our backyard. I’m an Eastside boy, so Big Ups to our local organizers Fabian Takiari and Maria Quigley. Programmes can be found and tickets purchased from the University’s Academy of Performing Arts, Ticket Direct at Founders Theatre, all Hamilton libraries and the Waikato Museum. See you there.

What exactly is Break!? It’s a group of 11 talented people; which are trained classically or have street thought skills of locking and popping (break dance). From the roots of the Bronx to the present day hip hop, funk, and soul music, the Break! ‘crew’ pay tribute to hip hop dancing. Due to the popularity of hip-pop, break dance is a distinct urban art that has developed worldwide. Combining pure physical strength and agility with a pumping soundtrack, beat boxing, a live DJ and bucket drumming; BREAK! is set to take on Australia and New Zealand with its urban funk, street moves and beats over the mid-semester…break. The team has done loads of shows around the USA and international tours. They’ve also been featured in music awards, and members have worked with artists from Eminem to the Black Eyed Peas. After some time trying to get through to NY on the phone, I was fortunate enough to interview Flashback (Ariel Saint Hilaire)- aka B-Boy. Hannah: With this being your first visit to NZ what are you looking forward to? Flashback: Giving everyone a great show, and sightseeing. H: Have you found it easier to get dates with chicks now, since you’ve become famous? F: Not only easier…You become an icon, but you also become eye candy H: Can you give me tips on where I can start, if I was interested in starting break dance? F: You should learn the history first. Google hip hop and you’ll learn a lot…there are many documentaries and DVDs. H: What will the show be like? F: You’ll experience the theatrical essence of urban dance such as locking, popping, breaking. There will be acrobatic performances. You’ll also enjoy the tunes of DJ Razor Ramon. Anointed S a vocal percussionist (who has toured with Alicia Keys) will be beat boxing. The show will have the real New York edge; for the second act we will be bring you into Times Square. It’s going to be a very special evening! You can be one of the very first in New Zealand to experience an outstanding show full of head spins, tumbling and other anatomy defying rotations. Purchase your ticket from www.ticketdirect.co.nz or by calling 0800 224 224. http://www.breakshow.com.au is a fantastic site to visit too. You can find out more about the crew, watch Break!’s advert and find more information about Break! Break! Dates - Tuesday, July 4th 7.30pm and Wednesday, July 5th 2.00pm. TelstraClear Pacific Events Centre, Auckland. Would you like to see Break! for free? Nexus has two double passes to give away. Just email us with the names of 5 of the Break! crew and you could be a winner. Nexus@waikato.ac.nz

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Upcoming Events

The Laramie Project BY JESSE WILSON

When I first heard that a write-up was needed for an upcoming theatre production, I jumped at the chance. Despite my complete lack of any apparent acting talent, I have always had a passion for theatre and anything it involves. This week, third year students from the Theatre Studies Play Production paper, along with the help of four first years and five additional community actors and lecturers, will be performing ‘The Laramie Project’, an incredible piece of work, directed by Gaye Pool. For those who don’t know the story, ‘The Laramie Project’ chronicles the life of a small, western town in the US in the year following a vicious hate crime. On October 7, 1998, a young gay university student named Mathew Shepard was found savagely beaten and bound to a fence in the hills outside of Laramie, Wyoming. The story of his brutal attack shocked the nation, and created a media frenzy. The event affected all who heard of it but most of all, the people of Laramie. In the aftermath of the beating, members of the Tectonic Theatre Project led by Moises Kaufman made several trips to Laramie over the course of a year and a half, where they conducted over 200 interviews with the citizens of the town. The play uses these interviews along with the theatre members own experiences to create a heart-rending piece of theatre.

The people of Laramie are completely honest in the sense that they are real characters who know who they are and don’t apologise for it. They are people who you feel that, in some way or form you can relate to and identify with. Their accounts of the event and their experiences of life in their community since are incredibly stirring. Laramie is a community in crisis and the play asks the question, “How did we grow children like that here?” Twenty actors play the parts of over sixty different characters. This is hugely challenging performance-wise as each student/actor involved with the production is playing between one and six characters each and needs to be able to focus on character differentiation, voice gesture and differences in costume. When asked why such an ambitious piece for a student production was chosen, director Gaye Pool gave several reasons, the first being for the content and the form of the play. “It’s a play about a hate crime, a gay hate crime. It is a play about the brutal death of a young person. This event turned Matthew Shepard’s death into a lightning rod, attracting and distilling the essence of a whole community’s varying ideologies and beliefs. Documentary theatre is based on real events… the form makes it very immediate; we (actors and audience) are

Reverend Phelps’ anti-gay protest at Matthew Shepard’s funeral. Keoni Mahelona (with hat) – Rev Phelps, Richard Homan (Fags Burn…), Shelley Watson (Thank God…)

in a sense invited to consider how would our community behave if something like this happened here.” I advise you to go along and see the show, not only because I personally adore theatre or think you should support your fellow Waikato student’s production, though both are good points but because it is an amazing piece of work. The story, which follows a community who is forced to change their thinking after a horrific event is deeply moving and like Gaye said, it makes you wonder, how would our community behave if something like this happened here? The Laramie Project will be performed in the Playhouse Theatre in the Academy of Performing Arts on the first, second and third of June. The show starts at 8pm and door sales are available at a very reasonable $10 a ticket. Look out in upcoming Nexus issues for the review of this remarkable piece.

‘ANGEL ACTION’ IN RESPONSE TO ANTI-GAY PROTEST AT MATTHEW’S FUNERAL. EMMA O’BRIEN (HIDDEN), KEONI MAHELONA (‘MATT IN HELL’), RICHARD HOMAN (‘FAGS BURN…’), SHELLEY WATSON (‘THANK GOD…’). ANGELS: L TO R; PETER YOUNG, DANNY PETERS, STUART DUNN, BRENDAN WEST, JUNE DAMS, RENATE MUELLER. CENTRE - ANTHONY ZHOU

Issue 12 29 May 2006

FIFA Football

World Cup Special Settle down in front of the couch, as the World Cup kicks off in June. Two Nexus writers provide a handy guide and give their verdicts. Rage In A Cage on The Groups Soccer players are gay, I mean, look at how they carry on when a goal is scored! It can’t be nearly as important as rugby (the game where a bunch of men lie on top of each other and feel around for a ball, that’s not gay at all). Well it’s that time again. Once every four years the world showcase of the beautiful game invades our lives and takes over for a month. But little old New Zealand isn’t in it, sadly. So I would like to present the idiot’s guide to football (or “soccer” if you must). Get into it. Enjoy. You may even become a convert.

The Draw

At the end of two years of preliminaries involving 850 qualifying matches played on all five continents, and the elimination of 163 teams; the final draw for the 2006 FIFA World Cup in Germany has been unveiled. This is how the groups stack up, and their corresponding world rankings at present. Group A Germany (19), Costa Rica (26), Poland (28) and Ecuador (39) Germany will be favourites as hosts and former champions. But this isn’t likely to be a group of fast flyers and big goals. If you are a football virgin, stay away from this group as it is likely to be all about one thing: defence. Keep an eye on new Chelsea player, German captain Michael Ballack. Game to watch: Germany vs. Poland, June 16,

7am. This time it’s Poland invading Germany. Teams to advance to Knockout stages: Germany, Poland. Group B England (10), Paraguay (33), Sweden (16) and Trinidad and Tobago (49) Are you a betting kind of person? If so, put a tenner on Trinidad and Tobago, who are paying 1000-1 odds to win. They are paying that for a reason, but if all the other teams are killed by terrorists, you will make a cool ten thou. Realistically, this group is all about England. Will they live up to the hype? Game to watch: England vs. Sweden, June 21, 7am. Two great teams. Should be an awesome match Teams to advance to Knockout Stages: England and Sweden. Group C Argentina (8), Cote d’Ivoire (32), Serbia and Montenegro (46) and Holland (3) Some good teams to watch here. Lots of people are picking Argentina, but I don’t see it. Every world cup they promise lots, but don’t deliver. Holland will bring the rest of the group to its knees. Game to Watch: Argentina vs. Holland – June 22, 7am. Watch as Holland prove why Argentina are not one of the world’s best. Teams to advance to Knockout stages: Holland and Serbia and Montenegro. Group D Issue 12 29 May 2006

Portugal (8), Mexico (6), Angola (58) and Iran (22) Politics and sport are likely to collide here somewhere. But Iranians love their football: one of their qualifying matches was watched by 110, 000 people. Portugal will dominate this group, with the manager who won the world cup for Brazil last time in charge. With the great Luis Figo as Captain and the talented Christiano Ronaldo in the team, they will be hard to beat. Mexico will probably make it past Iran. I would love to see George Bush sit down and watch that match. Game to Watch: Portugal vs. Angola, June 12, 7am. Watch a one sided game with plenty of goals. All of them to Portugal. Teams to advance to Knockout Stages: Portugal and Mexico. Group E Italy (14), Ghana (50), USA (4), Czech Republic (2) Currently Italy is in the middle of a betting scandal which may see League winners Juventus be relegated to the second division. So they may be preoccupied, which is a shame because they have a decent team. They are former winners and can play really exiting football. The Czech Republic will surprise a few, maybe even Italy. They have some great players like Milan Baros, the top scorer at the European Champs in 2004. Soccer is getting bigger in the USA all the time. They upset a few teams last time, and you can’t count them out any more. Game to Watch: Italy vs. Czech Republic, June 22, 2am. Two skilfully attacking teams should make for a good game. Teams to Advance to Knockout Stages: Italy and Czech Republic

Group F Brazil (1), Croatia (24), Australia (44) and Japan (17) The Kings of Football and defending champs are Brazil. With Ronaldo, Roberto Carlos, Robhinio, Kaka and the overrated Ronaldhino in the team, they are going to be very, very hard to beat. However, anything less than 1st would be a failure, with the coach ending up axed and national mourning ensuing. Remind you of another country and another sport? Of course, Brazil face a huge challenge in… Australia. Yes, congratulations Australia, you made it. Now bend over and take a right royal hiding three times over. Croatia are more likely to challenge Brazil. They have one of the best defences around, and could close Brazil down. Game to Watch: Brazil vs. Australia, June 19, 4am. Consider it your patriotic duty to watch Australia get slaughtered. Teams to Advance to the Knockout Stages: Brazil and Croatia. Group G France (7), Switzerland (35), Korea Republic (30), Togo (59) I don’t know what’s up with these African countries, almost all being world cup virgins. Well done Togo. But they are likely to be overshadowed by the other teams in this group. France will want to get back into business after the hilarious defense of their title in 2002, where they were knocked out in the first round without scoring a goal. But with superstars like Zidane and the world’s best striker, Thierry Henry on board, France will be tough to beat. Who will join them will be an interesting fight. Game to Watch: Switzerland vs. Korea Republic, June 24, 7am. Likely to decide who will go through to the next round. Teams to Advance to the Knockout Stages: France, Korea Republic Group H Spain (5), Ukraine (41), Tunisia (21), Saudi Arabia (34) A bit of a yawn fest here. Spain have some great players, but choke at the big occasion. Tunisia are the only African team who have been to the world cup before, but don’t look like contenders. Ukraine are virgins, and will be hoping to cash in on the talented Andriy Shevchenko to score the goals. Unfortunately for the Saudis, oil can’t buy everything, and one thing it can’t buy is a football world cup. Game to Watch: Spain vs. Ukraine, June 24, 2am. The two teams likely to outshine the rest of the group. My pick is that the Ukraine will upset Spain. Teams to Advance to the Knockout Stages: Spain, Ukraine. The Knockout Stages Likely to see the Usual Suspects make it to the Top 4, with maybe one surprise. That surprise will be Holland, who will make it to the final and beat Brazil, much to everybody’s shock. You read it here first.

Feature

The Ones To Watch BY GARY OLIVER

as it did for the Republic of Korea in 2002, Germany look capable of beating any team in the competition on a good day.

England

Brazil

Form in 2005: P11 W8 D1 L2 Successful World Cup campaigns: 1 Having produced some of the most avid fans, and largest crowds, English clubs are often criticized for uni-dimensional play. Their style is not as flamboyant as seen in the Italian ‘Serie A’, or the Spanish ‘La Primera Liga’; nor is it as clinical as that of the Netherlands ‘Eriedivisie’ or the French ‘Ligue 1’. The English squad for the 2006 campaign is not short on talent, and is arguably the strongest team fielded in some time. Past English teams have failed to gel; with mounting injury concerns and continuous squad adjustments, the outlook is not so great this time round either. If there is a year to silence some of the critics, this is it. Through the eyes of English supporters, it is definitely the time to ‘do or die’.

France

Form in 2005: P11 W6 D5 L0 Successful World Cup campaigns: 1 Zinedine Zidane, Lilian Thuram and Claude Makelele all came out of international retirement to ensure France qualified for the tournament and ‘Les Bleus’ have become stronger for their return. The added strength does come at a price; with an ageing squad, even the players must be questioning whether they will have the endurance and stamina to win the world cup. Seeing as this will be the last campaign for many compatriots, the likes of Djibril Cisse and Thierry Henry will be playing with added zest. If this does not send shivers down the spines of other contending nations, then check out the form of the French team leading into the competition over last year. A very apathetic warm-up did see Slovakia through to a 2-1 victory against Les Bleus. This typifies the French attitude; unpredictable patches of running hot and cold, attentive and disinterested. Still, if you are a betting man or woman, a few dollars on the French may yet prove beneficial.

Germany

Form in 2005: P15 W7 D5 L3 Sucessful World Cup campaigns: 3 Jens Lehmann has been named as Germany’s primary keeper after a number of incredible performances seeing Arsenal clinch 4th position in the Barclay’s premier league, as well as securing a spot in the European Cup final against Barcelona. Also worthy of international accolades is Germany’s captain, Bayern Munich’s Michael Ballack. Having another good season for his club, and being the star performer in the 2002 campaign, Ballack will undoubtedly be hoping to take Germany’s tally to 4 world cup titles through leading by example. Klinsmann, Germany’s coach has instructed his squad to play a “fast-paced, attacking and very aggressive” style of game. If hosting the tournament provides nearly the same boost Issue 12 29 May 2006

Form in 2005: P16 W10 D4 L2 Successful World Cup campaigns: 5 Historically domineering and the only team to have appeared in all world cup tournaments, Brazillian players can be found playing in topflight football leagues across the globe. Many of the players listed are household names to any soccer fan, notably Ronaldinho, crowned ‘World Player of the Year’ twice since the last world cup. Unquestionably, Brazil is the team to beat in 2006. There have been instances where the star studded team has been physically present on the pitch, but mentally, have taken a collective day off. Seemingly invincible, there are enough flaws present to see a complacent Brazilian squad edged out of the tournament by a more tenacious opponent.

Czech Republic

Form in 2005: P12 W9 D0 L3 In the likes of Pavel Nedved, Jan Koller, Karel Poborsky, Milan Baros, Peter Cech and Rosicky they have enough talent to cause problems for any team. The Czechs were also the top scorers in European qualifying. As with Brazil, the Czech squad has the tendency of not living up to expectations on the odd occasion. Unfortunately for the Czech’s, two of these have happened to be world cup finals, both of which they initially led. Here’s hoping history doesn’t repeat itself should they find their way to a third final.

Netherlands

Form in 2005: P11 W7 D3 L1 Khalid Boulahrouz, Barry Opdam and Dirk Kuyt have all proven their worth as exceptional footballers, and see the Netherlands squad taking on a very youthful yet slightly inexperienced look. There is no doubt over the skill level of the team, but rather whether the team can perform to expectations with the pressures of the tournament. Ruud van Nistelrooy, Arjen Robben and Mark van Bommel may play an important part in adding composure to this end. Able to frustrate teams to the point of distraction with their ball retention and calm approach play, in my view, the Dutch squad may be poised to raise the world cup for the first time.

Australia

Form in 2005: P12 W7 D1 L4 Having an outside chance, Australia is far from the ranks of the other serious contenders; the fact that they have qualified for the world cup however, definitely earns the Aussie’s bragging rights in the trans-Tasman battle for sporting supremacy. As traditional New Zealand sports fans, we are now forced into secretly watching our arch rivals compete; either totally ignoring their success, or joyfully reveling in any embarrassing defeats.

Gig Guide By Mazzy

Monday May 29th

Friday June 2nd

Oddfellows Comedy Convoy Hosted by hilarious NZ funny man Jeremy Corbett, the Convoy New Zealand icon Te Radar and 2005 ODDFELLOWS Billy T Award Winner Sam Wills. The Comedy Festival 5 of the best local and international comedians, including two of the Festival’s biggest stars, Australian Charlie Pickering, Rhod Gilbert, the first ever Welsh comedian to appear at the Festival and one of the hottest acts on the British Comedy Circuit. The event takes place at the Community Theatre, 59 Clarence Street, Hamilton. It all costs $39 Adults $34.90, conc/student. For bookings phone: (07) 958 5858. For more information go to www.comedyfestival.co.nz

Captain Nemo DJs at Sekure Rumours suggest the Captain will be serving up tasty platters of soul, funk, nu-jazz, rap and reggae.

Tuesday May 30th

Hamilton Film Society meets at 8pm every Tuesday at Victoria Cinema. Intending members can sign up on screening nights or call Andrea Haines on 839-5932. Student subscriptions are $85 full year or $45 half year. 3-screening Flexi tickets are also available for $25.

Wednesday May 31st

4 Second Fuse play at the banks area on campus during culture hour (1-2pm). See out NZ Music Month in style. Jam Night is happening every Wednesday from 9:30pm till late. Guitars, mics, and drum kit provided, so gather up as much talent as you can muster, and join the Rinky Dinks for more mayhem. Fat Bellies, Hood Street, Hamilton.

Lawrence Arabia, The Gills and Dynamo Go at Sohl Bar, Victoria Street, Hamilton. Death By Stereo (US) are playing with This Night Creeps, the Warpath & Antagonist at Upsett Records, 333 Victoria street, Hamilton. The show will cost $20. Doctor Invisiablo (Melbourne) are playing with Yokel Ono & Mr Slackjaw at the Kings Arms Tavern in Auckland. Doors open from 8.30pm A

Saturday June 3rd

Quarter2 - 8 PM at Brewers Bar, Tauranga R18. W/ 5 Star Fallout (TBC)

Sunday June 4th

Queen’s B’Day Mash Up Bass FM live to Air feat: The Managers, Earthtone Rockers, The Brysans, The Jafa Mafia Sound System, Selecto & Matty Dread at the Kings Arms, Auckland. Doors open from 3pm. The show will cost $10). A

Tuesday June 6th

06/06/06 Final Eve, Misadelphia & Erotic Nuecrosis are playing at the Kings Arms, Auckland, to celebrate this metal-as-fuck date. Doors open from 8pm $6.00 A

Jazz band Zebra play at The Cook, Cook Street, Hamilton East every Wednesday night from 8pm.

Metal Day Out, as seen in Nexus 10, is still all go but has been moved from Meremere to Ericsson Stadium, Auckland. 10.30am11pm. Gates open 10am.

Thursday June 1st

Friday June 9th

The Laramie Project A play in which a friend of mine acts as a lesbian – hawt! You can catch this at 8pm at the Playhouse Theatre Academy of Performing Arts. (This performance can also been seen on the 2nd and 3rd of June). See feature page 21.

The D4 last show ever! It seems the D4 is over; they are playing at the Kings Arms Tavern in Auckland with special guests The Rock & Roll Machine to celebrate their time in the music scene. You can buy pre sales for $31 from the Kings Arms and Real Groovy. Doors will open from 8.30pm. A

Issue 12 29 May 2006

AUCKLAND GIGS HAVE THIS SYMBOL:

Antique Fair This Antique Fair is held at the Kingsgate Hotel, 100 Garnett Ave, Hamilton from 5:00pm 8:00pm. Also on Sat (10am – 5pm) and Sun (10pm – 4pm).

Saturday June 10th

Stylus album release Stylus are celebrating their album release with Forever Now & guests at the Kings Arms, Auckland. Doors open from 8.30pm $10 A

Sunday June 11th

Career Paths Waikato Expo 2006 A comprehensive 2 day career exhibition for students, parents, job seekers and career planners of all ages where visitors can “shop around” for education, training and career options. A wide variety of career, education, employment and industry training opportunities can be checked out by talking to the right people and gathering the latest up-to-date information. The event takes place at the Waikato Events Centre, Heaphy Tce, Claudelands, from 10am-5pm. (Also on June 12th).

Tuesday June 13th

Universally True presents... Some Girls (San Diego) with special guests The Mint Chicks, This Night Creeps & Wrongmen. You can get pre sales from Real Groovy and Fast & Loose. Doors from 8pm A

Wednesday June 14th

NZ National Agricultural Fieldays You can find the Fieldays at Mystery Creek which is in the Outer Districts of Hamilton. It’s running from 8.00am-5pm. For more information go to www.fieldays.co.nz. From today until Saturday.

Saturday June 17th

NZ National Agricultural Fieldays – last day You can find the Fieldays at Mystery Creek which is in the Outer Districts of Hamilton. It’s running from 8.00am-5pm. For more information go to www.fieldays.co.nz Pig Out, The Shocking Pinks & guests are playing at the Kings Arms, Auckland. Doors A

open from 8.30pm. This show will cost $10 and will be the last NZ tour for the Shocking Pinks before Nick leaves for NYC.

Conc, $15 Students, $7.50 School groups. For more information call TicketDirect on 0800 FUEL2006.

United Youth Orchestra Winter Concert This is a Concert of classical music by talented young musicians and featured soloists from Hamilton and the Waikato region, conducted by Yoshiki Tatsumi. This exciting event will be at the Academy of Performing Arts, Waikato University, Hamilton.

There is a World Vision Fundraiser show at 8:00pm at the Hamilton Community Theatre, Clarence St, Hamilton. My Life Story are playing (as well as others). The show costs $10.

Wednesday June 21st

The Psychedelic Furs are playing at the St James Theatre, Queen St, Auckland Supported by The Madison Press - sweet! 8pm - St James Theatre (312 Queen Street, Auckland City). $76 + booking fee. Tickets available from www.ticketdirect.co.nz or from The St James. A

Thursday June 22nd

Stories Told to Me by Girls This production, held at the Waikato Museum is performed by Jo Smith and runs for 1 hour (no interval). The cost is $20 full, $15 conc. For more information call TicketDirect on 0800 4TICKETS . This show is also on June 23rd Swamp Treasures This production is apparently ‘A ‘song of appreciation’ for the swamp and the treasures it contains.’ It features the talents of the Waikato Youth Choir, WaikatoYouth Orchestra, Kinetic Youth Theatre, ACTA Company of Te Aroha and The Swamp Ensemble. You can catch this at the Meteor Theatre in Hamilton. For more information call TicketDirect on 0800 4TICKETS . This show is also on June 23rd and 24th. Falling In Love Again Jennifer Ward-Lealand sings songs that Marlene Dietrich sang. This performance will be held at the Gallagher Concert Chamber at 7.30pm and will cost $35 full, $28 conc, $15 students. For more information call TicketDirect on 0800 FUEL2006. This show is also on June 23rd.

Friday June 23rd

A House Across Oceans This is performed is by Beth Kayes and Aleni Tufuga and goes for 55 minutes at the Telecom Playhouse, WEL Energy Trust Academy at 11.00am or 7.30pm. You can catch this performance for $25 Full, $20

Here’s Hilda! A Woman of the Land This performance is held at the Academy Dance Studio, WEL Energy Trust Academy, Hamilton at 7.30pm. The performance costs $25 Full, $20 Conc, $15 Students For more information call TicketDirect on 0800 4TICKETS . This show is also on June 24th

Saturday June 24th

Turbulent Flux This is a multimedia performance which is at the Waikato Museum at 7.30pm. The show costs $20 Full, $15 Conc. For more information call TicketDirect on 0800 4TICKETS.

Friday June 30th

Award-winning play MILO’S WAKE plays at Hamilton’s Meteor Theatre as part of the Fuel Festival. Milo is directed by and stars Peter Feeney (Cold Feet, Shortland St, Secret Agent Men, Amazing Extraordinary Friends, Rude Awakenings, Black Sheep) together with Peta Rutter (Street Legal, Power Rangers, head, 4:38 Psychosis), Ashley Hawkes (Billie Liar, The Glass Menagerie) and Hannah Marshall (Amazing Extraordinary Friends). This play is happening at the Meteor Theatre at 8.30pm. For more information go to www. feeneymcsweeney.com. This show is also on July 1st at 8.30pm.

Saturday July 1st

Hamilton pop-punk band Trigger Theory are playing at Brewers Bar, Newton St, Tauranga. A

Send notifications of local gigs and events to

nexus@waikato.ac.nz It’s a great way to promote your’s or a friend’s show!

Upcoming Arts Events

‘Connections’ by Robyn Tucker opens at Artspost 9th of June. Intent on developing some of the ideas from a previous exhibition called ‘Filter, Robyn toured England, Ireland and Scotland in search of cultural identity and to gather photos and sketches in order to develop a new body of work. While putting the exhibition together, Robyn looked at the effects of light on the landscape, in particular where areas seemed to meet. ‘For example the glow that is sometimes apparent between the hills and the sky, “the space between”, areas separating solid images, reflections and distorted light. The subsequent paintings became abstract in appearance , although they were taken directly from life.’ ‘I concentrated on combining real world images from different places into one painting. The resulting images convey a surreal quality reflecting my feelings of remoteness and disconnection.’ Platform 01 gallery is dedicating the month of June to Media Arts! Painting and Sculpture graduates Barbara Smith, Kim Marsh and Heather Bramwell, will all be having solo shows at Platform 01. Barbara is in her final year of Media Arts and will be using pianiola music from the 19th century to create a three-dimensional installation. Kim Marsh and Heather Bramwell both have their honours in painting, Heather is producing a collaborative book project involving 12 other artists, while Kim’s show explores what happens when East meets West, or if anything does in fact happen. “It should be a really interesting line up of shows and Platform 01 is proud to give people a chance to view them.” Says Platform 01 chairperson Lorraine Pemberton. Don’t miss this great opportunity to view what our homegrown local artists are producing. All are welcome ‘Without a Sound’ by Barbara Smith is at Platform 01, and finishes June 3 Kim Marsh June 6 - June17 opening June 6 @ 5.30 pm Heather Bramwell June 20 - July 1 opening July 1 @ 5.30 pm Gallery East – Exhibition: Out-Land-Ish R.G Shaw, A Survery, A Retro-Speculation Where: Gallery East, 359 Grey St, Hamilton East When: Now until 10 June

Issue 12 29 May 2006

WSU President Vice-President SEHAI ORGAD

CARL GORDON

Ok people, it’s getting down to crunch time - only a week to go and A semester is OVER!

The UoW’s strategic plan

It is around about this time that I start to try to remind myself of why it is that I actually do this thing called study….. degree…..qualifications….PASS!. Why do I partake in the long nights in front of the computer screen instead of the TV, procrastinate on a bunch of readings which have been sitting on my desk collecting dust, and still feel guilty about not even pretending that I have flicked through them, and lastly start stressing NOW about my group presentation because I haven’t even emailed them yet? (Woops). So why is it that we do this? Why, even through all the hard days and nights slumped over books, papers and computers, are we still proud to announce to the world that we are students? Well, for me, I would say that the very notion of being a student implies and represents an aspect of an individual seeking to learn more. Not only in order to gain the qualifications, but also to invest in a future, financially, physically and mentally, which guarantees a lifetime of analytical skills, social skills, interaction skills and a wealth of experience in terms of developing thought processes and theorizing strategies to get the very best out of life in whatever circumstance or situation. Ok, so I guess what I am trying to say is that, even through all the bullshit, stress and sleepless nights, this IS worth it. The experience that you gain from this time are priceless, but you’ve just gotta do the hard yards first. With all this extra stressin’ tha question I wonder is after death I feel my last breath when will I finaly get to rest from this supression they punish tha people that’s askin questions and those that possess steal from tha ones without possessions tha message I stress to make it stop study your lessons don’t settle for less even tha genius asks questions be gratifull for blessins don’t ever change keep your essense tha power is in tha people and tha politics we address Tupac Shakur 1998

The Academic Board meets on Tuesday 30 May at 2.10 pm in the Council Room in B Block. It will be talking about strategic plans. You’re welcome to go along and listen to Part 1.

Te Ranga Ngaku’s request for funding from WSU This request has generated a complex political and legal situation. The 12 April WSU OSM passed a hotly contested motion that TRN get $13,600 via a contract with WSU for TRN services and events. The full ramifications are not yet clear, but WSU’s lawyers have said, inter alia, (a) while it is legal for WSU to enter into a funding arrangement with groups like TRN, (b) they are surprised that the proposed contract did not go to them first. (c) Other groups representing Maori students may want to enter into similar funding arrangements with WSU. (d) It could undermine any ongoing relationship with Komiti Awhina. (e) Multiple funding arrangements would not be wise given the high turnover of officers in WSU and the potential contracted organisations which could lead to them being unaware of their exact contractual obligations, and (f) numerous clauses in the proposed contract would need to be changed. Talks about the contract have occurred with TRN (results not known at time of writing).

NZUSA

NZUSA has its July Conference at Waikato University from 28 June to 1 July. All members of WSU, and of SAWIT at Wintec, are welcome to attend as observers. There will be separate men’s and women’s conferences on 28 June, and the normal conference runs for the following 3 days. It will address issues such as new tertiary funding plans by the government, and its own internal strategic review. NZUSA has recently submitted a major paper on new tertiary funding plans to the Tertiary Education Commission. Its main argument is that “NZUSA supports the government abandoning the EFTS-based student component funding model. The National Government introduced [it] … in the 1991 Budget, and since that time NZUSA has vocally rejected that system for a number of reasons … NZUSA has advocated that New Zealand state universities should be provided with sufficient funding for research, teaching and administration to meet student demand and that state tertiary institutions should be adequately centrally funded on the basis of projected student numbers, not by funding individual attendance at institutions”. All the best with your studies. Issue 12 29 May 2006

Maori Students’ Officer RENEE REWI

Budget delivers blow to Māori Scholarship Manaaki Tauira Scholarship gets the axe It is not a good thing when you have to deliver news such as this to you all. However, here’s the word on the budget in the words of Mr Harawira Mäori Party MP - “The budget delivers nothing for Mäori”, from Willie Jackson’s show just recently. The argument was that the budget delivered the electoral promises wears thin as this was something Mäori students would have got collectively as students. Attached is the press release from Veronica Tawhai Kaitūhono, Te Mana Ākonga: Māori students distraught at Budget cuts Māori students today are distraught at the cuts to Māori student scholarship funding, released in the Budget today. An initial $2.1 million dollars has been cut from the Manaaki Tauira grant with the news the programme is to be “wound down”. Manaaki Tauira currently provides financial assistance to over 9,000 Māori students per year. “Māori students are absolutely distraught at the removal of this grant” says Veronica Tawhai, Kaituhono of Te Mana Akonga, the National Māori Tertiary Students’

Association. “The continued attacks on Māori student support funding have already devastated what few resources we have. Manaaki Tauira was the only grant of its kind, open to all Māori based on need. It’s removal is the final straw in the breaking of Māori tertiary students hopes for any assistance”. Started in 1991, the purpose of the Manaaki Tauira grant is to provide financial assistance to Māori in tertiary education. It is granted on commitment and involvement in Māori communities, and financial need. “There are 9,000 Māori students out there who are now going to be in even more financial strife to buy text books, learning resources, study materials, and pay their fees. The need of these students is crystal clear – and has simply been ignored. Government rhetoric on ‘needs based’ funding is an absolute farce. This is an attack on Māori advancement, pure and simple”. The abolishment of the Manaaki Tauira grant is a result of a Ministry of Education assessment, which claims the grant was ineffective, and will now be used to fund a initiative aimed at better equipping secondary school teachers to educate Māori students. “Where’s the $130 million taken in the race-based funding review, meant to be replaced by needs based funding? What about the $600 million savings on the

interest free student loans policy? Why take our few million? Manaaki Tauira may not be a significant amount in the scheme of things, but it was absolutely treasured by us – it made a difference”. “Māori students have got the government’s message loud and clear: real assistance for Māori development is a dream they never intend to deliver on. Te Mana Ākonga will now be working to address the shortfall in resources, as well as trying to get this much needed form of support reinstated” concluded Miss Tawhai. For further information contact: Veronica Tawhai, Kaitūhono, Te Mana Ākonga, Mobile: (027) 305 4882, e-mail: tma. kaituhono@xtra.co.nz’ As Mr Harawira remarked, there was no mention of Mäori in the budget – this however is not strange as SSG funding has been reduced also and I assume that it too will soon be gone. Jane Kelsey, (1995) remarked in the preface of her book, “Our task for the years ahead is to achieve a more socially just society, what price of future change will be, and on whom it will fall”, these words were part of Kelsey’s deliverance on “peoples and governments”. Kelsey, J. (1995) The New Zealand Experiment. Auckland University Press.

Tauranga Campus Report ANTHONY MCKENNA Greetings and salutations for the end of semester. The big news at the Tauranga Campus is the provision of tea, coffee, milo and sugar for the two student kitchens on campus. The money for this is coming directly from the Waikato Students Union Tauranga Rep budget line, so please do make the most of this, but do not abuse the system. I must also apologize to the students who asked for tea and coffee earlier in the year and I

informed you that I would not provide this service - I am sorry for any inconvenience or discomfort this may have caused. On another note McGinty’s Bar is now offering $3.00 handles of Lion Red to Waikato students who present their student ID. A big thanks to the year one teaching students for getting this going, your work is much appreciated. The ongoing question of English papers is slowly being worked on thanks to the help and guidance of Alan Neilson (our Tauranga Campus Director) and Alexandra Issue 12 29 May 2006

Barratt (Chairperson of the Department of Humanities). Something that I am working on at the moment is getting a student discount from a Tauranga Medical Centre and I will inform you as events develop. Something else in the pipeline is that I am trying to get student representation on a board that exists between the BOP Polytechnic and the Waikato University as at the moment this committee has no student input. Cheers all and enjoy your break

Women’s Rights Officer KIM ARMSTRONG

Te Whenua is our women’s space in the back of the cowshed building. The space needs

some TLC, that’s my job, so when you all return from break the room will be looking lovely and feminine. I am also converting the small room into a prayer room for the Muslim women The women’s room will have milo next semester. WSU is hosting the Tertiary Women’s Focus Groups Women’s Conference on campus 27.06.06. It’s a conference held three times a year and consists of women from student associations nationwide. The workshops at these conferences are designed to educate and equip the women with the tools necessary to represent and advocate for the women at their universities. I am involved in the planning and I’m holding a workshop on Student Parents. Reconnecting and strengthening the bond with my beautiful son and all my lovely and supportive whanau. Good luck with your exams everyone and enjoy your break.

PRESIDENT

VICE-PRESIDENT

DISABILITIES OFFICER

INTERNATIONAL OFFICER

MATURE STUDENTS OFFICER

Sehai Orgad

Carl Gordon

Jeff Hawks

Sonja Gruebmeyer

Vince Malcolm-Buchanan

Kia Ora ano koutou katoa Why do elephants wear condoms on their toes? Because if they stand on you, you’re f****d! There you go, a little light hearted humour to ease the stress of the last week at uni! Thanks to everyone who emailed their entries for the chocolates last week! Sorry if you missed out but if you’re fast you may win a box this week. The first two emails I receive telling me the contents of the smaller room within the women’s space will win boxes of chocolates!

Stuff to do over the break:

Now’s a good time to start searching for grants you might be eligible for to make life a bit easier during B semester. A good place

to start is on the Zonta website www.zonta. org.nz. They have a variety of grants and scholarships pertaining directly to women. Also try the Scholarships Office, or a google search. Do something invigorating! Take some time out to pamper yourself and appreciate the things in life that often get neglected when you study or work like your skin and hair. And it needn’t be expensive! Back home in Tauranga you can go to the polytech association where the trainee beauticians and hairdressers go to school and get an hour facial for $15.00 and a conditioning treatment for $3.00.

Stuff I’ll be doing over the break other than eating heaps of chocolate and sleeping in:

GLBT Officer MEGAN MOFFET

Test Your Gaydar!

Have you heard of gaydar? No? Have you been living under a rock or something? It’s the ability to pick gay people out of the crowd. There are a lot of theories about gaydar, some of them contradictory. You either have it or you don’t, or maybe you can learn a gaydar, straight people have terrible gaydar, or maybe straight girls are best at noticing gay guys.

WSU EXEC 2006

I’m not sure about it all, but you can test your Gaydar on these pictures of average students. Answers are on page 16.

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Disabled Students’ Issues Officer JEFF HAWKES

I tryst everybody is gearing up for exams, Wednesday 31st 12-2, gear down for a few moments and relax. Take some time out and come over to Student Services, by the chapel there. It’s an inclusive space where all are welcome. Yup! To those of us who self identify, those of you who help us out, or those of you who haven’t yet identified, come along. From the Office for Disabilities: An important component of any campaign for an inclusive society is increased visibility of successful disabled people. This provides positive role models for the disabled and non-disabled population and helps to raise

community expectations. To assist appropriate representation of disabled people on Crown Bodies, the Government has allocated funds to establish a Nominations Service within the Office, to promote the appointment of disabled people to Crown boards and committees. There are a range of government boards from advisory committees focusing on specialised subjects to directors of state owned enterprises that require the appointment of people with different kinds of skills and experiences. Each vacancy requires a slightly different set of skills and experiences but most require, as a minimum, people who have had experience as directors or members of boards (ie governance

experience). The Office for Disability Issues, along with other government agencies, receives requests to nominate suitably skilled people for positions on government boards. To help the Office respond to these requests, the Convenor of the Nominations Service will recruit and maintain a database of disabled people with relevant skills and experiences. Work on the development of the Nominations Service is progressing well. We expect to be advertising for the position of the convenor for the Nominations Service in late May. If you are interested, details of the position will be advertised on the Ministry of Social Development website.

International Students’ Officer SONJA GRUEBMEJER At some point this week I was thinking of a follow up blurb called ‘My Goldfish part II’. I was quickly changing it to “My car, part III’ when I was interrogated about what the *#%$@ was actually wrong with it. Since I am driving and not repairing cars, I dumped this topic completely. It has even bored myself and since I am the one paying the bill, I at least have a vital interest in that. Has anyone come up with the solution to my question from the last blurb yet? I’ve still got the towel at home, it’s a very reliable one. Really, people! Start getting yourself involved! You could at least tell me the names of the Campaigns executives - no one has even sent me an email! Seriously, when Aki came to me last week, asking me if I could introduce him to international students for his article in this issue, I had to

admit that I know awfully few. Basically, every international student I know is handpicked because I linger around international student gatherings and prey on them! As soon as one is stepping away from the group I target it and talk to it until it becomes my acquaintance. So I have to say that I am a little bit disappointed of your participation as international students. I now officially know more domestic students interested in international students than I know international students. Well, this means two things. Firstly, If you hang around the WSU long enough, you will finally meet Kiwis. Secondly, international students don’t hang around at the WSU. Come on, it’s not that bad down there! And by the way, any decent extracurricular activities make up one grade of your final exam results when you are applying for a job. No joke - when I apply for a job, I always get the question: “Hm, ok, and what have you done

besides your studies?” This is the time when I can tell them about my time at the WSU and they will be impressed. You came here to qualify? You came here to do something, all the others have not done? You want the interesting job? You need to get the social skills! Or please, at least be involved in something, get a hobby, join a club, write for Nexus. Being an international student is more than having an English country degree in the end. Being an international student should open your mind and enhance your life experience. We will have International Students Day on the 4th of August this year. Think about your participation in this during the recess time and come back to me in July. I am always just an email away : international@wsu.org.nz - so get your [rude word for the lower part of your back] up from the seat and get some impressive extracurricular records in your CV.

EDUCATION OFFICER

GLBT OFFICER

CAMPAIGNS OFFICER

MAORI STUDENT OFFICER

WOMEN’S RIGHTS OFFICER

Andrew Pritchard

Megan Moffet

Jade & Joseph

Renee Rewi

Kim Armstrong

Issue 12 29 May 2006

TAURANGA OFFICER

Anthony Mckenna

NOTICE OF SPECIAL GENERAL MEETING 12 JULY 2006 IN L1 INFORMATION: This is a Special General Meeting because it concerns the Election of the following portfolios for the remainder of 2006;

Sport and Recreation Officer Finance Officer Environmental Officer

1. PRESENT 2. *MEETING OPENED 3. *APOLOGIES 4.

ELECTION OF SPORT AND RECREATION OFFICER, FINANCE OFFICER AND ENVIRONMENTAL OFFICER FOR THE REMAINDER OF 2006: The process is as follows from the WSU Constitution.

16.1 30

When a vacancy occurs during the course of the Association year in respect of any position on the Executive then a Special General Meeting called by the Executive for that purpose shall have the power to and may summarily appoint any member of the Association to fill such vacancy for the remainder of the Association year provided

that at least ten (10) Clear Daysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Public Notice is given of such a vacancy before any appointment is made.

16.2

Where a vacancy on the Executive has been created during the Association year and two Special General Meetings have been called and lapsed for want of a quorum or no appointments are made to the Executive in respect of the vacancy then existing by these meetings then the President, or in the event of there being no President, the Vice President shall convene a by election, to be conducted according to the rules contained in the Second Schedule of the Constitution for the purpose of filling such vacancy.

5. MEETING CLOSED

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Notices

Send your notices of 100 words or less to nexus@waikato.ac.nz, or drop into box at WSU reception. Deadline is 5pm Tues. flatmate wanted $80.00 plus expenses to share with 2 adults and two children in an arts friendly environment. in a beautiful oak tree lined claudelands street. ph maria 853 9050. email mariaeaton@gmail.com

female, full catered,$185 per week/single room including power.ph/txt 021 0644 908 or 021 0425 177.

Flatmates urgently wanted. 2 rooms of 5. $85pw including pwr and phone. Close to uni. Broadband. Call Ross 0212651746 or ryalkane@ihug.co.nz

Intel Celeron Ultra Computer, 256 MB memory: No modem or software. Working Condition. Includes, monitor, keyboard, mouse, possibly speakers. $150.00. Phone 856 9139 or email wsu@wsu.org.nz

APPLES?! FLATMATE WANTED Male or Female flatmate wanted for a nice, quiet location in Hamilton East. Jump the fence to Sacred Heart or skip down to the local shops! 3 established male students looking for someone to fill the 4th room void! Deck, large living, heaps of parking and everything except the bed supplied! $95 a week includes rent, power and flat miscellaneous. Room available now. Contact ‘Fruity’ on 0276650602 or 0212969823

Singer Wanted for Originals Rock Band Come 4 a Jam, ph 027 296 0858

English Corner Would you like to improve your conversational English? This is for international students who want to learn how to talk more easily with New Zealanders. We will have fun classes where you can meet more people from New Zealand and overseas. Held every Thursday 7.30 – 8.30 at the drop-in-centre by Lady Goodwin Chapel (opp. Uni Rec Gym). Free to attend! Any questions call Anna 021894154. Organised by ICF.

Room to rent: York St, 0211493178 Two rooms available in College Hall (university accommodation) only for

Revolution in Nepal and the Philippines Two movements in the Third World, for equality, new democracy, and the total

transformation of society. Two countries in which the state has declared martial law in the last two years. Two talks on the current situations, by speakers form New Zealand, with first hand experiences of the union, peasant, and revolutionary struggles in those countries. 5.30 pm, WEDNESDAY, MAY 31, Plato’s Hangout, Second floor, Student Union Building. Forum initiated by Workers Party on Campus. Da Vinci Code – the fact and the fiction Find out why the book is so controversial to Christians. Discover the facts, the myths and the fiction. Get the Christian’s viewpoint on the book and how it will affect the Christian religion. Date: 2nd June, 7pm. Venue: Lady Goodfellow Chapel (opp. Uni Rec centre). Organised by International Christian Fellowship.

When do you use double consonants before -ing or -ed? If you don’t know, we do, and we can help rid your assignments of all those grammar and spelling mistakes you’ve made. Visit us at www.editwrite.co.nz When you write wrong, we right the wrongs

Open Student Meeting OSM on Wednesday 31st May in L.1 at 1 pm. This is a policy-making meeting open to all students. There will be a BBQ

Agenda 1. Members present 2. Apologies 3. Minutes of previous meeting(s) 4. Matters left over from 24 May meeting which may include: 5.

Legal outcomes of a resolution at 12 April 2006 OSM on Te Ranga Ngaku’s requests for money and contract of services

6. Komiti Awhina - progress on re-registration

Issue 12 29 May 2006

7. The UoW 2006 draft Strategic Plan An update 8. WSU policy on student living allowances 9. NZUSA July Conference matters; & NZUSA’s tertiary education funding reforms submission. 10. WSU constitution - report on updating plan 11. WSU’s strategic plan - Services, marketing, assets, income, VSM, etc. 12. General Business

Columns

[Buses] never seem to get much over 100kmh, and a lot of buses cant even go over 70-80kmh. It’s because their engines are designed for high torque at the expense of top end speed, which means they typically can’t go much faster than that.

Everyone who drives knows about being stuck behind slow drivers; it’s damned annoying, especially when you’ve got places you need to be. There are two reasons for going slow; either the driver sucks, or the vehicle sucks, and nearly all of the time the driver is the problem. I’m not saying everyone has to go fast, but a speed limit is what people drive at, and when people go 10 to 20km/h slower than the limit, the people stuck behind them will get impatient. But as I said, it’s not always the driver’s fault. We all know about getting stuck behind a truck going up a hill, or behind a bus going… anywhere. Buses are notorious for being a hold up, and although the drivers are often nice people and good drivers, buses just don’t have the go. Of course, you have to take into consideration that buses have such an enormous load to carry. Bear in mind that a passenger car gets a bit sluggish when it’s got five people in it as opposed to just one. How about a bus with forty to fifty people in it? In that respect you have to give credit to the often 7.0-8.0L engines that buses have to run (depending on the type of bus). You will have noticed that when you’re a passenger on a run-of-the-mill bus, it never seems to get much over 100kmh, and a lot of buses cant even go over 70-80kmh. It’s because their engines are designed for high torque at the expense of top end speed, which means they typically can’t go much faster than that. But at the end of the day, buses are still slow, and people still get stuck behind them, which means that people get impatient. So what can be done about it? If you’re stuck behind a bus, you usually have to overtake it, and because buses stop regularly to pick people up, you can often be forced to make dangerous maneuvers to go around them. So buses are a hazard to drivers. You can argue that you save heaps of money by taking the bus, and it’s friendlier to the environment, which is true - if everyone took the bus, the overall petrol usage of road-users would decrease, which means less emissions and so on. But, they also

say that time is money, and buses take a shitload more time to get anywhere than it takes in a car. Plus you have to wait for a bus and match its schedule. You often have to sit with dirty people that you don’t know who smell and talk about shit that you don’t care about. If you’re lucky, you might get a bus that plays the radio, through its shitty tinny speakers, so it sounds like crap, and it’s often some rubbish station that you don’t like anyway. In a car, you get the luxuries of comfortable seats that haven’t had some hobos with infected lungs sitting on them, radio and sounds that don’t sound like someone trying to give birth (if your car doesn’t have a radio, then it’s your own fault, put one in). A lot of people enjoy driving too. The main benefit is that you get to drive on your own if you want to, whenever you want to, wherever you want to go. So it can be said that the major benefit is that you’re in control. If you’re on a bus, you can’t control what happens, that’s fairly obvious. You feel helpless as you whack your head on the seat in front of you as the bus driver slams the brakes on when some other car has gone around a roundabout without indicating. Driving your own car to places you want to go, when you want to, is the biggest attraction of cars. The next biggest is the fact that you can make whatever you want out of your car. You could have a standard car just straight out of the factory, or you can do it up, making it your own. Dump it on some mags you like, spray it the colour you like, put some sounds in it and play music you like, and chances are that someone will come along that likes the mags you like, likes the colour you like, likes the music you like. So, you can make friends through your car. Of course, I’m not saying you can’t make friends on a bus. There are nice people that use public transport. But, there are also dirty hobos that use public transport, and unless you let them, they’re not in your car with you when you’re driving, which is a plus. Buses are good as a backup, but if you can afford to have a car, it’s definitely worth it.

Issue 12 29 May 2006

“The Second Oldest Profession”

Politics

BY CHRIS GRENFELL

The Labour Party has ‘red’ as its colour. This links back to the Party’s roots in the socialist ideology. It seems that the media in general was somehow surprised by the budget that, shock horror, delivered for working families but didn’t give the higher income earners a tax cut. It would seem that the voters have to stand up here and take the credit for this after all when you tick the box that is occupied by a party that has red as their symbol you shouldn’t just sit back and wait for the tax cuts to roll in. Old Doc Cullen did his best to try and explain the situation to the media who, like a small child in the candy shop, were fixated on the surplus for this year. They failed to realise that a budget actually looks forward to the next year and beyond. It is nice to be sitting on a bit of extra revenue, but like the wise squirrel, you can’t eat all your nuts at once. It is nice that the biggest winner in the budget was the roads, however the way things are going the only people that will be able to afford to drive on them will people

who have their own jet anyway. The cost of running a car is tipped to break the $100 mark for the average family any minute. People are turning to public transport in droves. Is this Hamilton’s time to launch the first subway in New Zealand to protect us from the bitter and murky winter fog as we make our way to school and work?

Gliding into trouble

A would-be paper aviator who was trying to fold a paper plane in the Beehive was shown the ejector seat recently. The man was sitting in the public gallery preparing his “plane” for flight. All this during the parliamentary question time. After some hurdles through the press gallery and a bit of a confrontation, the captain put out the seatbelts sign and things proceeded. However, the aviator was asked not to fly Parliament Air for two years, and the Police look to be doing their thing also.

Other Budget Highlights Cutting the Fat A total $750 million in additional health

funding in investments in the aged-care sector and historic initiatives in child health and obesity prevention. The budget delivers a four-year boost of $126 million to the aged care sector, $80.4 million over four years to improve the health of young New Zealanders and a $76.6 million fouryear investment in New Zealand’s largest campaign to fight obesity. Hey teacher leave our cash alone More resources put into schools thanks to a $361 million four-year investment, plus $20 million in the current financial year. Total funding for New Zealand schools is now more than $4 billion a year, up from less than $3 billion in 1998/99. Get a haircut and a... Tertiary Education Minister Michael Cullen announced an extra $58 million to boost New Zealanders’ access to job training programmes. The extra funding builds on the success of the Industry Training, Modern Apprentices and school-based Gateway programmes.

“The mightiest of weapons is truth. And everyone knows you’re not permitted to enter a Government building with a weapon.” The Covert Comic

Winner of the movie pass – Gary. Send us some good jokes over the break and you could win a movie pass and a Billy Connolly – Live In New York DVD.

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth, a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, “Tsquare, do your stuff.” Tsquare pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better, and said, “Spreadsheet, do your

stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better, and said, “Beaker, do your stuff.” Beaker walked over to the fridge, took out a litre of milk, got a couple of glasses from the cupboard, and through a complex system, measured out exactly 300ml without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the Issue 12 29 May 2006

Government Employee and said, “What can your cat do?” The Government Worker called to his cat and said, “CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave. Contributed by Gary Oliver

Columns

Stripper Nurses Review

Gender Bender

Instead of doing appropriate group work at a lengthy group meeting recently, we got distracted, even more so than the time we accused a group member of bestiality.

I’ve been wondering for a while where I am represented on the WSU. I’m not a woman; I’m not Maori, disabled or gay. I’m a white, heterosexual male, and according to the WSU and society in general, I don’t matter. In fact, according to Billy Connelly, I’m to blame for everything!

We ended up watching ‘80s porn. Not to enjoy a girlie pillow fight in our underwear but because it so obviously related to our internal communication project. The actors communicated fairly effectively, most got what they asked for.… won’t specify how or what they were communicating, (this is the wrong type of publication). The film contained award winning characters such as Dr Desperado, Elmo, an appearance by ‘The King of Porn’ Ron Jeremy (I think this is where he was abdicated from his throne) and an interesting array of medical professionals. It was in fact a gripping medical drama (actually gripping may be a little too specific) or something like a naked version of Shortland Street. Except the characters on the Street probably have more sexual partners than the stars of a low budget porn. Nudity, odd characters and Ron Jeremy aside it was ridiculously funny more than anything else. The ‘actresses’ had tans far too similar to Barbie’s or the missing orange Muppet, wore cliché hoe-bag heels that only come in various shades of ugly and transparent, and the hairstylist wasn’t particularly focused on the day of filming. Every actress had bleach-blonde hair and jet black roots. To make matters worse all the ‘medical professionals’ had buttons missing from their uniforms, ugly underwear or had completely forgotten their trousers. Admittedly the dialogue in ‘Stripper Nurses’ left a lot to be desired. I think projecting their voices to an audible level was a foreign concept to the talent of this particular cinematic wonder, either that or nobody wrote any lines beyond “Oh Yeah!!” The male ‘actors’ were equally a source of great humour, with their bad hair-dos, creepy lines and equally creepy fake tans. It’s obvious that ‘Stripper Nurses’ was to the highlight of these ‘actors’ careers. I guess I felt let down - the male talent in this film was non-existent and crossed over to foul at stages. The only reason these dudes got laid was because the girls had a hairdresser to pay, credit card bills due and this season’s ugly hoe-bag heals to purchase. I felt let down by the medical profession as a whole!

Why do we as students need to pay for a women’s rights officer? It’s 2006, not 1963. Women don’t need special protection anymore. They are and have been equal members of society for quite a while now. In case you hadn’t noticed, women seem to be able to do a lot for themselves, and in a lot of cases, they can do more than men. Having a “women’s rights officer” implies to me that men do not have rights. I think that I have the same rights as women, so either give me a men’s rights officer, or even better, cut some costs and get rid of the woman’s officer altogether. But this extends far beyond the Uni. Right now, Western society is living in a feminized age. Feminine values such as commitment and feelings are more important than the truth and facts. Right now we have to pretend that one sex is better than the other. We all have to pretend a bunch of stupid things are true such as: women are smarter than men, women can multitask and men can’t and that if women ran the world there would be no wars. ALL WRONG! Men and women are equally intelligent, men can multitask (I was eating, drinking, texting and driving a car the other day) and women start just as many wars as men. Just look at Pakistan. And no one could call Queen Elizabeth I a pacifist. If you don’t believe this, just think about if a man went on Oprah and said that men were better than women. Oprah would probably kill and eat him on stage. But if a woman went on stage and said women were better than men, she would be cheered. All this leads me to think that the last thing we need is a women’s officer. Women are long past the need for protection. Why don’t women stop playing the victim role and fully take their place in society, alongside and equal with men. If what women seek really is equality, then the need for special representation is over.

Stripper Nurses was nothing but funny. On a scale on 1 to 10 (ten being Oh Yeah! so funny) I give Stripper Nurses an 8.

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Columns

The Da Vinci Code has stirred up a lot of debate recently. Religious cover-ups; speculation regarding Jesus having a family; the origins of Christianity; the Bible subjected to bias, translation and editing as with any other book – religion made palatable to the masses at the expense of contorting ‘the word of God’; how and why did the elite choose what to, and what not to include in the Bible? These have all been issues of contention around our local water cooler. I freely admit that none of us are even close to being theologians, historians or philosophers, and consequently much of our arguments contain more opinion than fact. What is inescapable is that even rigorous scholars would have to admit that no one has entirely accurate answers to such questions. It all comes down to personal belief and faith in ideals, whatever they may be. In keeping with religion, a certain date not too far away has many zealots raving about the second coming of Jesus, the revealing of the antichrist, and even predictions regarding the end of the world. In this last vein, it becomes apparent that some people have very, very strange beliefs indeed. The date I am referring to is of course the 6th of June 2006. You have all seen paraphrased sections of the book of Revelations referring to 666 as the number of the beast etc. The more astute may have already noticed a big problem, that last number is two thousand AND six, not plain old six. Nonetheless, this fact seems to have eluded a lot of people. The Australian Skeptics have deemed the date nothing more than superstitious. ”There will be heaps of significant, and perhaps even disastrous, events that happen on June 6 this year, as there are on every single day,” said the group’s Lynne Kelly. “The fact that they occur [on that date] means that people will look at those events and associate it with the date, when in fact there is no association whatsoever.” Past and future predictions regarding the end of the world range from semi-plausible (biological & nuclear warfare) to totally bizarre (Astro-Lemurs; extra-terrestrials similar in shape to lemurs, but with rainbow colored bodies, will attack the entire human race and beat them to death with gigantic burritos.) Here’s a list that makes for interesting reading http://www.bible. ca/pre-date-setters.htm Stuff to do this week: In light of impending doom, why not do something a little bit devious, but within legal limits of course. We don’t want to look totally stupid should we all live to see another day. Things on my list include: 1) Delaying studying till AFTER the 6th 2) Drinking my flat mate’s last beer 3) Making at least one indecent proposal Good luck for your examinations, and have a good holiday. We’ll see you all next semester… probably.

‘Name’ “Name: that by which a person is known, referred to, or addressed.” But is that really all there is to a name? We all have one, well actually we have two, a first name and a surname; some of us even have three or four. These names are used to identify us as people, to make us stand out from every other person. But is that the only purpose our names have? In western culture we are usually given our father’s surname and one (or more) first name(s) at birth and unless we are female and get married and decide to change our name, then this is the name we keep for the rest of our lives. Eighty or ninety years is a long time to live with a name you don’t like. But fortunately this works out well for most people, they end up with a first name and a surname they like (or at least can tolerate) and can be pronounced and/or is easy to spell; but for others this is not the case. As Marvey King puts it “my name is not my name, it was given to me at birth and things have never been the same.” However, in some cultures at a certain age/stage in a person’s life they are given a new name. This is quite common in Native American cultures where a young person is given a new name around the time they enter adulthood, this name usually reflects them in someway. I have to admit that, from this word freak’s point of view, that does sound like a quite a cool idea. Now, that’s quite different from the English way of looking at a ‘name’; when our parents chose our names they considered the meaning of the name, but it’s not necessarily the deciding factor. What about the word ‘name’ itself? Well, it would appear that ‘name’ has been in the language for a long time, almost 1000 years in fact dating back to Old English. So clearly ‘name’ is fundamental part of the way English works. Aside from various different but related meanings which have come in and out of use over the years, ‘name’ has always meant a ‘proper noun’, just as it does today. I’m going to leave you with something to think about, how many times have you said (or thought) that someone’s name suits them perfectly? I’m sure it’s plenty I know I have, but is it the name that suits the person or the person that suits the name? Because whether or not you realise it you got your name before you became the person you are today.

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Columns

BY BURTON C. BOGAN

New Zealand Music Month Special!

Live for this “Music is the soundtrack of your life” – Dick Clark Yesterday I was running old people over in a golf cart listening to Slayer and, not for the first time, I realized how everything is better while listening to Metal. No I haven’t lost the plot; it was GTA Vice City on PS2. Think about it. Sports, sex, movies (and there are some cool soundtracks out there), life in general really. I think it’s the adrenaline. I don’t really understand how people think rap and sport go together, doesn’t really amp me up at all. I always liked it when I used to watch cricket and the players could choose a song to come out to the ground to, was interesting to see what players chose. But it pays to do things in your head or on the stereo; sometimes it’s not good to do it out loud. Once some dude was psyching himself up to start a fight with me and apparently started singing Linkin Park ‘One Step Closer’ to himself. I was so drunk I had no idea what was going on when he confronted me and kinda ‘buh?’ drearily looked at him and he went away. I think when the homie cap’s on an angle it’s like some sort of psycho switch or something. Like Judge Dredd’s Mean Machine or that speech in Stallone’s movie Over the Top where he talks about how the cap is a switch and locks him into concentration when he turns it backwards. But there is some sorta connection between music and mood when you think about it. Quite often you’ll listen to music that suits your mood, so it is like a soundtrack. Like that bit in Family Guy where he makes all the noises as he’s walking along; like he was in a movie. Lately I’ve been listening to old school stuff cause I’ve been going through this nostalgia trip. So I’ve been listening to a lot of Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Megadeth. Other times you listen to music ‘cause you want to be in another mind frame. When I’m feeling a bit tired or down I’ll listen to the albums I listed last week, cause they’re angry and fast and anger can be a motivator. That adrenaline thing again I guess. Anyway sorry to cut this short but I better get back to running over people: I will ‘Reign in Blood’ so to speak! Now where did I leave that golf club… Stay Bogan \m/ boganology@yahoo.co.nz

REVIEWED BY C.J.

Right, this is a bit of a special review, in honour of New Zealand Music Month (Which I only found out about half way through the bloody month!). As a country we aren’t really known for our classic rockers, but there are a few stand out bands with some pretty cool songs, so I’m going to talk about my favourite kiwi classic rock songs and bands/artists (this is part one of a two part special). My favourite Dragon song is ‘April Sun in Cuba’, released in 1978. Such a catchy song! I used to think Dragon was some American band, because why would a bunch of guys from Auckland want to sing about Cuba? Apparently a shitty, impoverished, communist dictatorship was appealing compared to Auckland back then. My other Dragon favourite is ‘Rain’, from 1983. The chord progressions, the lyrics (all about not going out in the rain, or something like that), and the easy sing-along style make this a wicked song. Their original drummer died of a heroin overdose in 1975, their manager went to jail that same year for selling drugs to cover their tour expenses, and their keyboardist died of a drug overdose in 1985. If that’s not rock n roll then I don’t know what is. Second is New Zealand’s favourite bard, Mr Dave Dobbyn. Old Davo has been around for a long time, since he formed Th’Dudes in the late 1970’s. His musical talent is immense, but he had the usual rock n roll problems, in his case alcoholism, so I don’t think he was ever able to reach his full potential. He could’ve been our first rock superstar. Anyway, my favourite song of his is 1979’s ‘Be Mine Tonight’ by Th’Dudes. If you like Asian cigarettes, and beer, then this song is for you. You could say this song is kind of like a kiwi ‘Khe Sahn’, which aint a bad thing in my books. Other songs of note are ‘Loyal’, ‘Whaling’, and ‘Slice of Heaven’, which you should all know by now. “Dah dah da, da da dah dah da!” You know it!

Competition The winner of last week’s prize is Callum Slee. Congratulations! This week’s prize, and the last of the semester, is the wicked Power Ballads double cd compilation. Thanks to Hauraki for this kick-ass prize. Question: (Unrelated to power ballads) When and where are the awesome AC/DC covers band Accadacca playing in Hamilton next month? Email your answer to cjw37@waikato.ac.nz

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Columns

El Groado’s Hardcore Rabble Wowee, it’s the last issue for the Semester, to be sure, by golly. That means that you horrible little slackers must all have assignments due soon, or exams on the horizon, in little boats with white sails so that you can see them approaching. I know I do, and the forecast is not good for my face, or my marks. Well that’s what you get for taking Women’s Pleasure Studies. Yeah, who would have thought I’d get low marks in Women’s Pleasure. Who would have thought. So there’s actually no news to report, or to stamp our hilarious brand of humour upon. Probably the only thing of note is the hunt for a new code-name for Special K, due to Kelloggs canceling our sponsorship contract. Bastards. It’s not my fault that Frosties are at the top of the watch-list for identifying P manufacturers. Yeah I’ve still got my sponsorship though, from… those guys that make the little orange teddy-bear pills... you know... There’s no real reason they are in a teddy-bear shape. Does Vitamin C come from bears? It’s probably just that the pills are just smuggled into the country in teddy-bears. I’ll run with that. Anyway, we’ve decided to create some news! Since the Nexus comes out on a MONDAY, and Vitamin C has NO CLASS on a Monday, we’ve decided to make some news. So whoever is reading this on Monday the 29th of May, we will have hidden a box of East Indian Pale Ale somewhere in that little foresty bit by the Banks (Quad). How cool is that? How much fun is that? We have practically doubled the fun by two. So anyway, since noone knows what my face or body looks like - NO WUN - I’ll be onhand to observe and photograph all the pretty little labrats who come to get the cheese. Alcoholic Cheese. We aren’t kidding, the beer will be there, promise. Photos will hopefully appear next Semester. Don’t approach me though. I don’t care how clever or sexy you think you are. Your approaching skills are nothing next to my Black-Belt in Fuckoff-jutsu. Your two-dollar makeup is no match for my ability to point out your cow ankles (cankles?). Your fake orgasms will never defeat his surprise ejaculations. Your deadbeat, tiny-dicked, rugby-club boyfriend can not oppose my rhyming cockney slang, and his combined eye and brain tissue is no resistance to the pointy end of a pool-cue. The moral of the story is, everyone go to the Akzess (fuck me if I can spell it) bar, because it’s awesome. The epilogue to the story is a tale of intrigue, a lonely plumber, and a helping of STOP WHINGING about the Memento prices, have you tried the $5 pancakes? Yeah thought not. And if you don’t want to pay $4 for kickass coffee, go home and make it, you goddamned peasants. What was that sound? Call the Plumber. I’m pretty sure I just heard a plug...

So you thought El Groado was dead? Well you should know that it takes more than three midgets with bombs strapped to their face to kill me, it takes four. Anyway this is my new column - on shit that pisses me off, or my general musings on life. To start the new column, let’s discuss tattoos. They have such a bad reputation. I know what you think when you see people with tattoos - you think they’re addicted to class A drugs and they go around beating people up after having copious amounts of sex. Well that’s just not true, you closed minded fucking arsehole. I’ll have you know that I have a few sweet tats and, while I am a hardcore nigga from the Bronx who gang bashes bitches and buries the bone 24/7, I do not take drugs. I’ve been off P for going on 3 days now, so I hope I have broken some stereotypes and opened your little mind for a bit, you Nazi. This one goes out to the critics of the last column (you know who you are), Is this hardcore enough?

Magic, blah blah, suspense, yadda yadda. I really can’t be fucked at the moment but if you want to irritate the crap out of me then send an email to 8ballknowsall@gmail.com and ask me any yes/ no questions. Guess what? Yes, you do have Chlamydia! Now you don’t need to bother me by asking... Dear 8 ball, I have been sensing some tension lately, especially in the last two Magic 8 Ball columns. Is there a problem? Harriett

“Without a doubt.” Yes, there is a problem. It’s the fact that I can only answer yes/no questions. Some fucking fortune teller I am! How the fuck am I supposed to get the ladies now. Bitch! Answer my question or die! Will I get cherry pie in heaven?

“Cannot predict now.” Currently experiencing performanceanxiety. Boo hoo! No-one loves me! Leave me alone!

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Uncle Jim forgets the page specifications

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Comix

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Books Reviews

The Treasures of the World Cup

Plan B

Keir Radnedge with Mark Bushell

Emily Barr

(Headline Books) Reviewed by Deanna Foster

Reviewed by Carl Watkins

The True World Cup It is kind of taken for granted that every four years there is a Football World Cup. The competition has only been around since 1930 (it had a 12 year hiatus after 1938 while Europe compared technologies, created human rights, and re-organised its boundaries) and there have only been 17 staged. You can guarantee that every four years a new book or books will be published to coincide with the event, usually helpful and up to date statistical and anecdotal bibles. The 2006 World Cup will be no different. The world’s most popular sport also boasts the world’s most popular sporting event, the amount of literature on the FIFA World Cup commensurate with it. This latest offering from the Australian Broadcasting Corporation is, understandably, in chronicle format, written very much in a journalistic, news media style. Concerning itself with facts and history displayed in almost children’s encyclopaedic/ almanac fashion the book isn’t for the researcher or knowledgeable enthusiast but perhaps more suitable for younger readers with more tactile sensibilities. The plethora of fold-out, take-out, slide-out reprints are testament to this. Reasons to read: Definitely collectible, instantly readable, informative and interesting, this papery treasure trove of World Cup paraphernalia and points to ponder is the perfect compliment to football lovers’ coffee tables everywhere.

Marley Legend: An Illustrated life of Bob Marley James Henke Reviewed by M M Ormsby

Bob Marley born February 6, 1945 died in May 11, 1981 aged 36 years. Biographer

Like many pop culture books, Plan B is a nice bit of fluff you can read over a chilly winter weekend. That’s not to say Plan B is not well written or uninteresting, but the story just doesn’t have that much depth. It’s Mills and Boon without the racy bits. But I’m probably getting ahead of you. Plan B is the story of a young mother, Emma, and her partner who move to the south of France to start a new life. While Emma raises her daughter and pays for renovations to the French cottage she has reluctantly bought, the man she knows as Matt commutes back and forth to London, where he is known as Hugh. Hugh is married to Jo. They have a son named Olly. Emma and Jo don’t know about each other. Such a situation can only end in tears, which it does. Of course, Emma pulls herself back together and stars in a reality TV documentary about her journey from “other woman” to “new woman”. Although the story itself is shallow, the development of the main characters is rich and insightful. Emma’s transition from meek, mild and rather scruffy, to elegant, self assured and successful is well done, and proves you can get by with a little help from your friends. Just for a moment at the end of the book is a moment of mystery. Hugh (or Matt), who has been living the single life, slinks back to Emma and asks to be taken back. Will she or won’t she forgive him? Reasons to read: It’s a nice story with a good ending.

Timothy White (1998) wrote “Bob Marley was reggae’s foremost practitioner and emissary, embodying its spirit and spreading its gospel to all corners of the globe. His extraordinary body of work embraces the stylistic spectrum of Jamaican music - from ska to rock steady to reggae - while carrying the music to another level as a social force with universal appeal”. Marley Legend is an authorized and fully illustrated biography that sums up Marley’s life, complete with copies of rare memorabilia such as set lists and photos. When I was first introduced to reggae as a teen in the 1970s, reggae then was all about having fun with friends, enjoying the music and the atmosphere. This book successfully captures this atmosphere. As a bonus, the CD Marley Speaks accompanies the book Marley Legend and captures rare and exclusive Issue 12 29 May 2006

interviews played with excerpts from his famous songs; “No Woman No Cry”, “Get Up Stand Up”, and “I Shot the Sherriff”. In one interview Bob Marley was asked “…What is reggae?” He replied, “Reggae is a vehicle that is used to translate a message of redemption to the people upon earth today, we use it for that…some use if for just dance. But we use it for convey the message. Because I don’t see no other music can carry the message as good as it…” After reading Marley Legend I have a greater appreciation for reggae and the way reggae was used to influence people all over the world to embrace in peace and unity. Bob Marley was revolutionary and for those reasons his spirit will always live on in Aotearoa. One Love. Reasons to read: This is a great book to celebrate a great life.

Flat Feed Pineapple and Mint Margarita BY DANIELLE THOMSON

Ingredients (for one)

Mashed Potato Salad BY NIC GUY This is good as a main meal for uni students, as it is quick and easy to make. The ingredients are pretty flexible so you can put in whatever vegetables you have to hand, and potatoes are cheap.

30ml tequila 15ml cointreau 30ml fresh lime juice 30ml bottled pineapple juice 4 fresh mint leaves 1 cup of ice cubes

Ingredients

Method

Combine all the ingredients in the jug of a blender; blend on high speed until well combined. Pour mixture into a salt rimmed glass. Glass: 150ml cocktail glass Garnish: small wedge of lemon and a sprig of mint. WARNING – cheap nasty tequila will create a cheap nasty cocktail…drinkable but still cheap and nasty!!!

1 large potato 1 stalk of celery 1 carrot 1 spring onion Butter, salt and milk to taste

Cube the potato, put in a saucepan and cover with water. Put the pan on the stove and bring to the boil, cook until potatoes are soft (test this by pushing a skewer through the potato, if it goes in easily, the potatoes are done). Chop up the vegetables while you wait for the potatoes to cook. Drain the potatoes and start mashing, add a little milk and butter to get a smoother texture, and salt to taste. Once the potatoes are mashed add the vegetables and stir them in, and you’re done, takes roughly ten minutes from start to finish. Serves 1

Jaipur Walla

Restaurants

REVIEWED BY HAZAZEL I didn’t have much choice of where to review this week, since I was invited to a double birthday party at Jaipur Walla (upper end of Victoria St). Jaipur specialises in North Indian food, but has a few Southern favourites. Sam and I arrived early (out of character for us!), but we were seated immediately and given a basket of cumin-studded poppadoms to nibble on. The rest of the party arrived in dribs and drabs, and, since we were a large group, we were advised to get the banquet (a set range of entrees and mains plus rice and naan for $25 per person). Those who weren’t keen (for example, the vegetarians) ordered separately. Banquets tend to be made up of the dishes with widest appeal, which is all very well, but gives you no chance to try new things. When we mentioned that we were really keen to try the kofta fries (which weren’t included), the friendly waiter promised to put

Food & Drink

Food Fact

What is chocolate?

Once harvested, cocoa beans undergo fermentation, during which they begin to develop their characteristic brown colour. Then the beans are dried and shipped to chocolate manufacturing countries, where chocolate manufacturers clean and roast the beans. The nibs (inner part of a cocoa bean), which contain an average of 53% cocoa butter, are then ground, generating enough heat to liquefy the cocoa butter and produce chocolate liquor. Chocolate liquor (contains no alcohol) can be processed into cocoa powder by pressing most of the cocoa butter out, the natural fat of the cocoa bean. It has a delicate chocolate aroma, but is very bitter tasting. Chocolate liquor plus cocoa butter, sugar and vanilla flavouring are processed to produce dark, flavourful chocolate. To make milk chocolate, fresh whole milk is added and white chocolate is a mixture of cocoa butter, sugar, milk and vanilla flavouring. Then it is up to the Chocolatier to produce different chocolates by different chocolate liquor ratios which produce sweet, semisweet and bittersweet chocolate.

some on our table’s entrees... and somehow managed to do so, despite the chaos! They were really tasty, by the way. The other entrees - samosas, pakoras and chicken tikka - were good (especially the chicken) but not outstanding. They came with two sauces: a slightly watery tamarind sauce and a very nice mint-yogurt one. The mains were butter chicken, jaipuri rogen josh (lamb), beef madras and vegetable korma. All fine examples of their kind, though perhaps too mild for some tastes (which is best for a mixed group, I suppose). The meat was tender and delicious in every case, and the sauces were rich and flavoursome. I thought the vege korma could have done with some kumara/potato/pumpkin to vary the texture, but it was tasty nonetheless. We never ran short of rice or hot, freshly baked naan, and the waiters kept checking to see if wanted more of any of the dishes. They have a decent drinks menu, and they make

Issue 12 29 May 2006

BY SANAZ

a good mango lassi (very important). I was one of the brave few who were up for desserts. The interest-piquing sago dessert listed on the menu was unavailable, so I tried their mango kulfi. Very tasty, but difficult to eat, as it was frozen to a brick-like consistency. They also offer a rather mediocre gulab jamoon (milk dumplings in syrup), and plain ice cream. We were charged 1/2 price for desserts since we had ordered the banquet. A nice touch. The service in general was rather good, considering we were such a large, disorganised bunch! Jaipur is a popular place, and (from what I can tell) it’s deserved. The food seemed maybe a little more ordinary than, for example RR in Ham East, but that may have been because we had the banquet. Certainly I have no complaints - quality, service and prices were all good. Jaipur strikes me as a nice, ‘safe’ place to take family or friends.

CITRIC

Band Proﬁle:

Any rumours, porn, slander: htownslut@gmail.com

BY M. EMERY

http://nexuscitric.blogspot.com/ is up and running this week. I got waylaid fighting my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend’s ghost last week. Upsett Records, 333 Victoria Street, have a lot of exciting all age shows coming up with more being booked all the time. Keep an eye on their whiteboard for upcoming shows. A Low Hum have their first all ages show there 17 June and Death By Stereo breeze through on June 2nd. Chuganaut have been recording their long coming debut album. I’ll find out the facts and figures and report back after the break. New German sexy techno from a Hamilton-based German Sex Master: http://www.myspace.com/wolfgangchristopheraxelvonbondiesabast I worked out to ‘Workout With Wolfgang’ and got a great burn in my triceps. Regular performers at the Fat Bellies Open Mic Night, The Lookie Loos are keen to play any upcoming shows if anyone has a spot for them. These guys are a great pop/rock band who never fail to fill the dance floor at Fat Bellies. http://www.myspace.com/thelookieloos Blink has been filming folks at his recent A Low Hum shows and they are now compiled and being broadcast on C4 as A LOW HUM TOUR DIARIES. Not sure how often they’ll be broadcast but the first one was 11:30pm last Thursday. Get in your time machine.

Death By Stereo

 www.deathbystereo.com Death By Stereo hail from Orange County, California, forming in 1996. Of the original members, only Vocalist, Efrem Schulz still plays with the band. Death By Stereo are well known for their energetic performances, and intricate guitar work. Signed to Epitaph Records in 1999, Death By Stereo have released three albums since. The most recent release from Death By Stereo, Death For Life, sees the band refining there harder edge sound with a vocalist Ephrem Schulz sounding at times a world away from their debut release If Looks Could Kill I’d Watch You Die. Putting Death For Life up against its predecessor, 2003’s Into The Valley of Death, Schulz says, “I think it blows it away. I love the last one but I think we really found out how to get our ideas on tape with this album. We’ve been trying to find this sound for so long and we finally unlocked the door. Dan took the reigns as the main songwriter and came back with the fiercest sounding stuff we have ever done, but he didn’t lose sight of the dynamics. This record is who we are. I am more excited than ever. We are recharged, reenergized and ready to take on the world.” Death By Stereo’s guitarist Tito left the band in mid-2005. Death By Stereo are now playing as a four-piece band until a replacement is found. The band have recently commented that they are in no hurry, and that they may even play as a four piece for a long time. May and June 2006 sees Death By Stereo playing their first shows in Australasia with four dates in New Zealand including an all-ages show at Upsett Records on June 2nd. Local supports Antagonist and The Warpath will be opening.

Goatse are rumoured to be having a band practise next week. Christchurch band, The Shocking Pinks are coming to town, playing Sohl Bar in mid June. Since 2004 The Shocking Pinks have released three albums through Flying Nun and have made many fans and enemies in New Zealand and abroad. I almost played a show with Nick Harte of the Shocking Pinks once but someone slashed all the skins on his drum kit and then on the day of the gig his drummer got really sick and was almost dying although he managed to pull through. Also playing are Auckland Porkster’s Pig Out and possibly Hamilton’s pop sensations Dynamo Go. Speaking of Dynamo Go, they’re playing with Lawrence Arabia and The Gills at Sohl on Friday, 2nd June. A measley $5 for entry. The 17th Annual Gemini party is happening at Diggers Back Bar, Saturday June 4th. This year features World War Four, 8Forty8 and many more. Last year’s party was a metaltastic good time, this year’s party promises many returns of metal goodness. By the time this sees print the Circle Jerk will have happened. Full coverage after the break.

Tool 10,000 Days REVIEWED BY M. EMERY After a long wait Tool fans can rejoice in a new release from the cryptic foursome. 10000 Days sounds like Tool from a ways back. Not quite as prog rock as Lateralus but also not quite as concise as Opiate or Undertow. A lot of criticism has abounded that the new Tool album hasn’t displayed much progression since the last one. I imagine if they had released an album that didn’t sound like the Tool of old then there would have been a lot more disappointed fans. It’s unmistakably Tool, folks! It sounds like Tool, looks like Tool, and comes in a nifty package with viewing lenses and optical trickery. Maynard James Keenan has brought the delicate dynamics of his other project, A Perfect Circle, to 10000 Days with less emphasis on screaming and more prominent soft crooning. I always thought he sounded like a male Tracey Chapman. All in all I think Tool fans will enjoy digesting this album while non-converts will find nothing to convert them.

Issue 12 29 May 2006

BY KAZUMA NAMIOKA

A Weekend at the Greek – Jack Johnson and friends

Chicken Little

Why am I reviewing Chicken Little? The reality is I didn’t want to review Elizabethtown or Doom. Hey, here’s a review-withina-review: Doom = shit = true. That’s all you need. Doing a full length bad review wouldn’t even be fun because there isn’t enough meat there to make fun of. They were only trying in a single scene; the rest of the movie was what they shot so they could charge paying dolts full-price. Consider the wrapped present, where superfluous yet expected packaging must be torn aside to reach the desired item within. Although I must admit, my pulse rate increased with the end credits. They were badass. So, Chicken Little. Better than Doom. It was funny in places, I’m not going to pretend like I can’t enjoy a children’s movie, but I never understood the slow scene. You know the one I mean, the bit you always fast-forwarded as a kid. The bit where nobody believes the hero, and there’s a song that goes on for like 5 minutes while the wee garden fowl looks sad, with a general blue motif going on. I didn’t like it as a kid. I don’t appreciate it now. It’s the “Cheer up Charlie” scene from the original Chocolate Factory. Just take it out, and you’ll have a better movie. This one’s pretty cool anyway though, ka pai for the action sequences.

The DVD has two discs, the meat of one being the live show at the Hearst Greek Theatre in California, whilst the other is Johnson playing shows and bumming on tour in Japan. The thing about Jack Johnson’s pleasant, simple sound combined with enormous popularity is you get shows where there are screaming girls that intrude very much on the music. You get a Rammstein concert or something, where there are fireworks and synthesizers and like two guitars and a growling German guy; the screaming fans sort of incorporate themselves into the music. Jack Johnson, some songs he’s huskily singing fragile notes into a microphone accompanied only by the slightest of acoustic guitar, and (WOO!) while he’s being soulful and (AAAAAH!) sincere (OH MY GOD JACK JOHNSON!), some girl decides she had something to say to the whole crowd. The DVD is packed to the brim with content, on both discs, and worthwhile stuff too. The friends referred to in the title include his original band mates, Merlo Podlewski and Adam Tool, plus new member Zach Gill who adds keys in various forms, including accordion and melodica, rock on. Melodicas are so rare Word doesn’t even recognize it as a real word. So if your heterosexuality can handle all this Jack Johnson on stage, Jack Johnson backstage, going into the water, coming out of the water, asleep, standing around, drawing and playing ping pong, this DVD is safe to buy. I’m assuming ladies already know what the score is.

Issue 12 29 May 2006

Reviews

THE

PLAYER

The Godfather Playstation 2

REVIEWED BY UNCLE JIM From the outset I wanted to lump this in with the many other ‘appalling-movielicense’ games, but having clocked up a fairly respectable 12 hours of game time on The Godfather (yeah, I’m sure there are hard-core-ers out there who can do that in a single sitting) I can say that this game is a stimulating and downright beautiful thing in nearly every way. While clearly having been chiseled from the shell of GTA: San Andreas, right down to the mapping system, wanted stars, hideout houses and vehicular mayhem, The Godfather it is somehow far, far cooler and more enjoyable. I’m

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guessing this is mostly down to the fact that I can relate to being a maﬁa crime lord a bit than being a glock-slinging, rap-spittin’, hydraulics-riding, ho-banging GANGSTAA… but any way I look at it, there is truly more than enough here to keep you going for months and with a multitude of ways to execute a passerby with a baseball bat you’re sure to keep a healthy blood lust intact. The levels are massive, the missions are exhilarating and the gameplay is simple and easy to learn. All in all – this makes for simple, no nonsense fun. That being said, if you don’t have a tolerance for extreme violence, I don’t really think this game is for you – how ‘bout you give Go! Sudoku or Over the Hedge a go.

The Godfather is by far the best new game I have played all year. If you don’t already have it, I strongly advise you to get it.

Competition Winner

The competition was to detail in 30 words or less how you’d go about being the Godfather of a crime syndicate. The winner is Scott Whitaker. Here’s his entry below: Get the biggest gun, huge testicle implants, smoke cigars and drive black cars. Horses heads all around. Concrete shoes for the boss, and I’ll replace the burnt out toss. Come to the Nexus ofﬁce and collect your copy of Godfather for PS2! Whee! More competitions next semester...

GAMES PLUS - THE NEXT LEVEL: Providing you with all your necessary gaming needs S H O P 1 0 5 , C E N T R E P L A C E M A L L , V I C T O R I A S T, H A M I LT O N · P H O N E 8 3 8 0 8 0 1 XBOX · PLAYSTATION · GAMECUBE · PC · GAMEBOY · DS · PSP · MOVIES · ANIME

OPAL NERA POEM COMPETITION WINNERS

A massive response to the Opal Nera competition this week, and some excellent entries. Many involved shearers, Sarahs and ‘clearer’. Luckily for you guys, this competition is continuing for 9 more issues so you’ll have many chances to win one of those pretty black bottles. Keep the poems coming.

Smiling faces – work is done, 3am Trampoline fun! Wobbly legs – jumping high, Opal Nera helps me ﬂy! By Stacey Vowles

Opal Nera Sooths me like Aloe Vera Makes me feel wasted for almost an era Like I’ve been body slammed by Eddie Guerrero By Kirsty Blackwell

This week we announce two lots of winners, from the last two issues. It was a hard call, but we played the game and came away with a result. The winners this time excelled in humour, obscure inventiveness with the rhymes, poeticism and graphic effort (or at least one of the four). Remember – if you didn’t win this time, you have 9 more chances so keep reading Nexus in semester 2.

guzzled vodka, got sloshed skulled ranfurly, and moshed. Hooked up, with Sarah; a rugged, sheep shearer shudda drunk, opal nera! by Chris Williams

Opal Nera Liquid midnight sky - new moon. Midnight patch on Mum’s white carpet, Stained forever. Tomorrow I’ll shit tar. by M. Joseph Healy

Issue 12 29 May 2006