issue 16

www.nexusmag.co.nz

3 August 2009

EDITORIAL

I’ve realised why none of you seem to care when really important University-related stuff comes up, why actual political debate is restricted to a small clique of intense people, why the changes the Government is wreaking on tertiary education are flying over the heads of those the changes affect most, why all our letters to the editor are shit.

It’s because you don’t care. You don’t give a flying fuck, or a shit, or any other scatologically-derived adjective. You just. Don’t. Care.

Okay. I can live with that.

You think you care. You’ll even say you care. You think you know stuff about things. You’ll pontificate loudly about politics and the government and the Clayton Weatherston trial and all manner of things, but deep inside? It doesn’t matter. And why would it? You are, probably, decently fed. You are adequately sheltered. Most likely you are tricking your body into thinking it is reproducing by giving yourself and your sexual partner (if your sexual partner is lucky) a regular supply of orgasms. You probably have a hobby or interest that satisfies most of your “I care about suchand-such” needs. You find various things funny and get intoxicated and you buy shit you don’t need and you grin as you continue toward your inevitable death. You’re fine. Why would you need to care?

People only care when things directly affect them. And that is the nature of the news. We bring a simulacrum of caring to you, in glossy easilydigested pages. If we are lucky, you read, your empathy neurons are engaged, you are saddened, gladdened, outraged, amused, entertained, informed, or whatever.

Then someone talks about someone you know or posts on your Facebook page or someone close to you dies suddenly and the idea of caring about strangers and the things that happen to them suddenly seems unreal and unnecessary. All you are left with is vague ideas about a thing that happened somewhere and it doesn’t really matter.

Real caring – in the way that I’m thinking of it – is for hippies, shut-ins, ideological lost causes, and journalists. People who make Caring about Stuff a part of their lives and then wonder why other people don’t. It’s ever so slightly creepy.

I was reading a political blog when I realised this. I was wading through a morass of commentary about an issue that I had a tangential knowledge of when I realised; none of this stuff directly affects me. It won’t affect whether I eat tomorrow if I know about the ins and outs of how Paula Bennett released the information of a couple of beneficiaries upset about changes to the benefits single-parents receive while undergoing tertiary study. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have to know about it.

Of course, this realisation is completely flawed. Our lives routinely hinge on the pronouncements of politicians. It’s only because we’ve become complacent, living in a peaceful, prosperous society, that we don’t all take slavish notice of everything politicians say, or what journalists tell us to think about their pronouncements.

But it’s a happy illusion, isn’t it? Someone is taking care of us. We don’t have to worry about anything, not really. Things will turn out okay, because that’s what things do. I can see why this is attractive. It would be nice to let go of paranoia for a bit and relax into a society where everything’s okay. Maybe I’ll do that.

Ahhhhhhh. This is nice, isn’t it? It’s like a nice warm bath. Of mediocrity.

This editorial has been rant-y and disjointed and condescending, but you know what?

I don’t care.

Ooh, that is nice. More hot apathy, please.

ISSUE 16 Credits: Editor: Joshua Drummond (editor@nexusmag.co.nz) Design: Talia Musson (graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz) Advertising: Tony Arkell (ads@nexusmag.co.nz) Reporter: Grant Burns (news@nexusmag.co.nz) Features Editor: Chris Parnell (features@nexusmag.co.nz) Sub-editor: Louise Blackstock Web Guru: Jed Laundry (jlaundry@gmail.com)

Features:

Music Editor: Nick Johnstone (music@nexusmag.co.nz) Film Editor: Kirill Kruger (films@nexusmag.co.nz) Books Editor: Penny Wilson (books@nexusmag.co.nz)

02 Editorial 04 Caption Competition 05 Low Five 06 Magic 8 Ball Z 08-12 News 13 Police Report 13 The Nexus Haiku News 16-17 Lettuce 25-27 WSU 28 Puzzles 29 Notices 30 Boganology 101 30 Essense of Annoying 31 Kirill Investigates 31 The Feminine Files 32 The Madness 33 The Phat Controller 34 DVD 34 Auteur House Presents 35 Book 35 Garfield Minus Garfield 36 Movie (P)review 37 Citric 38 Gig Guide 39 BUSTED

The Devil made me do it In which features editor Chris Parnell gets provocative on provocation.

Controversy!

Pg 14

Games Editors: Antony and Chris Parnell (games@nexusmag.co.nz)

Contributors 8 Ball, WSU, Kirill, Chris Parnell, Vitamin C, Burton C. Bogan, Nick Sicklemore, Dr Richard Swainson, Josh, Grant Burns, Mammoth, HCAC, Flash Medallion, Blair Munro, Jason Sebestian, Penny

Spark

In which we break down the many and various events taking place over SPARK 2009. Excitement!

Pg 19

Wilson, Antony Parnell, Nick Johnston, Louise Blackstock, Hollie Jackson, Lord Bhfulu, Lauree Cross, Teresa Hattan, Blair Munro, Side Undydog Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) Because how else could I prevent Salient from working for an entire day?

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, OR ANYONE. NEXUS: CAVING IN TO APATHY SINCE TODAY. NAH, JUST KIDDING. WE’LL NEVER DO THAT.

WANT TO ADVERSTISE WITH NEXUS? EMAIL nexus@waikato.ac.nz OR admanager@nexus-npl. co.nz OR call 07 838 4653 OR 021 176 6180

NEXUS IS LOCATED AT Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton PHONE: 07 838 4653 FAX: 07 838 4588 EMAIL: nexus@waikato.ac.nz POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

3

RANDOM

With Cap ta

in Caption “Can I PLEASE have your fing-longer?!”

Bravo Foxtrot… come in… do you read me… Whisky Tango…

No Soap Radio… loud and clear…? Good. Intel has located an image that needs captioning. We need you to move to waypoint Gerbilburger by oh-eight-hundred hours and log in to forums.nexusmag.co.nz and submit a caption. There are also reports that we have a spy in the ranks, so sensitive image captions can also be sent via electronic mail to captions@ nexusmag.co.nz. The fate of democracy depends on your concise wit; God be with you.

Last weeks winner: “Can I PLEASE have your fing-longer?!” by Private First Class JakeTehRipper. Congratulations, Private. Rendezvous at Nexus headquarters for your reward and medal.

Honourable mention: “HOT XXX EBONY INTERRACIAL PICS: CLICK HERE” by stalin_smells, who demonstrated courage in the line of duty and died a hero.

Commencing Operation: LOL….. now!

WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH NEXUS BUT CAN’T TEAR YOURSELF AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER?

forums.nexusmag.co.nz ..........sign up today!

4

QUESTIONS

By Fire Does What?

1. What’s your favourite Maori word?

2. Would you date any of your tutors or lecturers?

3. Who would you want to headline the Big Day Out 2010?

4. If you saw a wallet lying on the ground with a yellow circle around it, would you pick it up?

5. All Blacks or AC/DC?

1. Chur 2. I’m currently dating one 3. Marilyn Manson 4. I’d take the money and leave the wallet 5. AC/DC

1. Waikikamukau 2. Not this semester 3. Coldplay 4. I would try 5. AC/DC

1. Kumara 2. No 3. Metallica 4. Na 5. AC/DC

1. Kia Ora 2. No 3. Anyone but Green Day 4. Na 5. AC/DC

1. Anything with “whaka” in it 2. If my wife would let me 3. Cane of Punishment 4. Na I wouldn’t 5. AC/DC

RANDOM All Magic 8 Ball questions this week were taken from the Magic 8 Ball thread at forums. nexusmag.co.nz. Go there yourself to ask the all-knowing Ball a question!

Magic 8 Ball Z By the Over 9000 Ball

Is a soldering iron an appropriate way to treat my urinary tract infection?

Outlook not so good – your tool probably isn’t appropriate for fixing your tool, you tool. Ha, see what I did there? Because a soldering iron is a tool, and also a penis is a tool, and you are a stupid person, which is also a tool. Get it? It works on many levels. Laugh, damn you.

Is my anti-virus software telling me iTunes is a virus an elaborate prank?

Better not tell you now – you should wait, drumming your fingers for preference, while iTunes quietly sends details about what kind of porn you favour to Apple – and eats your registry.

Will carving swastikas into desks make me cool?

Yes definitely – you’re a Waikato University student, right?

Apparently they’re all about the Nazis here.

As an economics tutor, is it a good idea to date my students?

Without a doubt – because of your high position, if you demand, they will supply. Take the opportunity – just hope it doesn’t cost you! And watch out for the trickle-down effect.

Is “Mafia Wars” as cool as everyone says it is?

As I see it yes – you see, once you’ve joined, you can’t get out.

The Mob never forgets. But enough about Facebook. How cool Mafia Wars is entirely subjective. It probably depends on how much you like being spammed with constant gangster status updates.

Will there ever be so many Facebook apps that the majority of people deny all app requests (like me)?

Without a doubt – but by the time that happens, human decisions are removed from social networking. Facebook begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m.

Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.

Facebook fights back.

Do I have a shot at pulling those hot first-year twins?

Yes definitely – they are so feverish with swine flu they’ll probably think you huffing and grunting all over them is just an unpleasant hallucination.

6

At the University of Waikato There’s no stopping you.

At the University of Waikato, you’ll find a world-class education and lifestyle support – right on your doorstep.

On-campus Student Services available to you include Student Health, Careers Office and counselling advice, not to mention our disability, chaplaincy, accommodation and financial services too.

Student Services is located in the Student Services Building (CHSS), behind the Chapel.

UWC.0509

For more information visit www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/

0800 WAIKATO www.waikato.ac.nz

NEWS

ISSUE 16

3 August 2009

Ka Mate Haka seminar – Maori Language Week

By Jason Sebestian.

The sounds of a rousing Ka Mate haka filled the lecture hall in A block at the end of the lunch hour on Tuesday last week, causing waiting students outside to wonder what all the commotion was about. The lecture hall was filled with various students and university staff, Maori and non Maori alike, who had gathered for an hour long lecture on the origins of the world famous haka and the traditional way of

spirit which with the All Blacks perform the haka. If the haka falls flat, the game is likely to be a loss. He also suggested that the if the game was not getting on well towards the end, our rugby players should just stop and perform the haka, a suggestion that greatly amused the audience.

Pakake Winiata then went on retelling the story of which probably every other

when they returned once more, he repeated; “it’s death, it’s death.” When they were finally persuaded that he was not there and left for good, it was said that he rose from the pit into

performing it.

Pakake Winiata, a well known language and kapa haka exponent, had given the seminar in A.G.30 as part of the Maori Language Week series of seminars. Around 70 to a 100 students attended the seminar which was a combination of interesting facts, storytelling and wicked humour. Pakake Winiata, who is of the Ngati Toa Rangatira, kept the atmosphere lively with anecdotes and stories while giving a clear and detailed explanation of the Ka Mate.

Starting by commenting on the popularity of the Ka Mate haka at rugby games, especially when they are performed by the All Blacks, he commented on the loss of the All Blacks a few days before and joked that he no longer bothers to watch the full games as the outcome of the game can be judged by the

New Zealander knows, the story of how Te Rauparaha first came up with the Ka Mate chant. In talking about the action of Te Rauparaha in choosing to hide in the kumara pit at Rotoaira, he explained that any other Maori chief would probably rather have given themselves up to the enemy rather than humiliate oneself and hiding in a kumara pit. However, as seen in Te Rauparaha’s later achievements in life, he was one that valued his life more than his dignity and had an amazing ability to turn bad situations around.

In short, the most famous words in the Ka Mate haka originated from his reaction to his enemies being around the pit. When they were close by, he said to himself, “it’s death, it’s death.” When they turned around the first time, he then said, “it’s life, it’s life.” However,

the sunlight in triumph and joy, shouting “it’s life, it’s life.”

In recounting this story, Pakake Winiata added that, even though there could be other explanations to the origins of the haka, “we have not heard another explanation that is so clear or so obvious as to how the haka could have arisen.”

Towards the end of the seminar, the speaker then took the audience through the meanings of the English translation and then demonstrated how the haka should actually be performed. The most common mistakes seemed to be intonation and pronunciation.

At the parts where people were supposed to lift their voices and shout out triumphantly, they usually don’t do so and the reverse usually happens.

Free kai with bi-lingual tunes

By Grant Burns

The WSU traded free soup for Maori words on the Village Green on Wednesday to create awareness for Maori Language Week. The event also hosted Te Whaino, a Maori bi-lingual musician who played an array of Maori and New Zealand music.

To claim their tomato or bacon bone soup, students had to recite a Maori word of their choosing. Plenty did so.

To add to the atmosphere, Te Whaino played guitar and sang popular New Zealand songs in Te Reo and English.

Maori Vice-President Whetu Taukamo said he was “stoked and happy” with the student turnout. “It’s good to see so many students getting amongst it and trying to pronounce Maori words. The kai’s good and the music is choice.”

Safer Partying.

If you are out socialising with friends, don’t leave your drinks unattended, or accept drinks from strangers, and be sure to watch the person who is pouring your beverage.

For more information please visit www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/health/CampusCop

8

NEWS

Social experiment uncovers dangerous levels of honesty

By Grant Burns

A social experiment constructed by the Nexus team last week uncovered a high rate of honesty and virtue among unsuspecting strangers. The experiment consisted of a wallet, with an obvious ten dollar note protruding from it, lying within a yellow chalk circle in a common thoroughfare.

The experiment started around 11am while fellow Nexites stood above snapping photos of unexpected victims. After a good twenty minutes of oblivious students walking past the bait, a group of foreign students stood around

others not looking down at all. One girl even stood on the wallet without noticing.

Suddenly, two German men picked up the wallet and cruised off. Again I pursued and got the wallet back. “Oh no, we weren’t going to steal it,” said the man in a thick accent. “We was going to drop it into Unisafe for lost and found.”

To change things up, we placed the wallet outside Uni Mart and drew a new yellow circle around it. Six times the wallet was picked up and taken into Unimart reporting it as lost.

the wallet in amazement.

Soon after, a woman wearing a head scarf picked up the wallet, looked around, then walked off. I sprinted after her, bracing myself for a full-on brawl only to find out she had dropped it into Momento – with money intact.

The wallet was returned and spying commenced. For another twenty minutes, students walked passed – some noticing,

One man observed the wallet for a long period of time, sat down next to it, waited, picked it up, sat down with the wallet visibly next to him, and continued looking from side to side.

By this time I was behind him. “Can I have my wallet back please?” I asked. “Oh, is this your wallet, bro?”

Overall, the social experiment uncovered some surprising statistics. Both males and females

returned the wallet. More foreign students picked up the wallet then domestic students , for some reason. Nevertheless, by a ratio about 10:1, the majority of students walking past didn’t even register there was a wallet on the ground.

It leaves you thinking - if there was a wallet just lying on the ground with a yellow circle drawn around it, would you pick it up?

Council plans to make city prettier Wintec wall will stay ugly

By Hollie Jackson Hamilton City Council has plans to revamp the city’s aesthetics, beginning with the Victoria St renovations and a new design for Garden Place, then moving on to other parts of the city. The project, known as CityHeart Revitalisation, aims at creating a more practical and eyepleasing appearance for the city, through renovations and public art pieces.

In the past, funding for public art has been reliant on the generosity of sources outside the Council, said Waikato Museum Director Kate Vusoniwailala.

“Up until this financial year there has never been any funding for public art in the city,” she said.

The Council have now put in place $50,000 per annum for the funding of public art, as part of the LTCCP (Long Term Council Community Plan), which will span over the next ten years.

The great eyesore of the Wintec Wall on Anglesea St has been a heated topic of debate between citizens and the council for years.

The wall, which has seen all manner of impromptu decoration, from pre-pubescent graffiti to eyecatching rainbow streaks, still has no confirmed place in the Council’s public art plans. The CityHeart project has un-officially allocated $200,000 to the creation of a public art piece on the wall, but the Council is reluctant on setting anything in stone in the near future. HCC Councillor Peter Boss told the Waikato Times that hastily allocating such money to the wall would be wrong considering the circumstances.

“I’m not sure whether, in today’s economy, it’s the time to do it. I actually don’t see that wall as being so ugly. We could leave ourselves open to criticism of people saying ‘look at council, throwing $200,000 at that’.”

However, the Council has found money for other projects. A $150,000 sculpture, commissioned by the Council, was unveiled on Mill St as part of a mitigation plan for Pitt Lane. Called ‘Passing Red’, a long, winding stretch of red pipe that stands on the support columns of the Hamilton 400 spectator stand, seems ideal for skateboarders and car accidents as people drive past trying to figure out what it actually is. This sculpture adds to the small number of commissioned art pieces in Hamilton, including the Farming Family, Riff Raff, and “Ripples.”

Currently, the Council is investigating an issue concerning the Hamilton Watertower (on Ruakiwi Rd) and heritage restrictions. Original plans were to commission artists to lay the outside of the Watertower with a mural, but was put on hold and is now pending decision.

The plans for Garden Place and Civic Square include free Wi-Fi internet outside the library, enhancements to the civic plaza fountain, and the erection of public art pieces. The Council also plans to reconstruct the Claudelands bridge and put in place a project that will allow the public, artist or not, to paint the signal boxes beside traffic lights around the city.

9

NEWS

“The evening was a complete success. All the clubs that won awards thoroughly deserved them and the quality of nominations was substantially better than last year which is good for the future of student clubs at Waikato University.”

Clubs awards a “complete success”

By Grant Burns

Last Friday night the Waikato Students Union hosted its annual Club Awards evening at the Student Union Building, which saw seven University clubs and three individuals taking home awards. Ten categories were on offer for collective groups and individuals from Best Sports Club to Best Overall Club of the year.

The night kicked off at 7:30pm with free food and alcohol for all those in attendance. The first award was then announced with the Red Tie Club taking out the “Emerging Club of the Year” award. Red Tie Club is a Chinese-based student club with approximately 110 members which have since formed 15 groups based on individual interests such as photography.

Recreational Sport Club of the Year is always a hotly contested award and this year it was taken out by the Uni Scuba Club. Surprisingly, the Uni Scuba Club only began at the start of this year with lots of interest with over 74 members already registered. The Uni Scuba Club is dedicated to “creating safe, confident scuba divers in an active atmosphere.”

Club Contribution to Student Culture is a highly sort after award for clubs which add to student life on campus. This year it was taken out by Demon Skateboarding Organisation (DSO). Demon Skateboarding has been busy this year with on and off campus events including: hosting a skateboard ramp on O’Week, presenting the end of A semester party, and skate competition during B Semester.

Recreation or Interest Club of the Year was won by Contact FM. Contact FM is a student radio station which broadcasts on 88.1FM. Contact helped organise this year’s Circle Jerk at Flow Bar. Sports Club of the Year was won by soccer club UNICOL AFC. UNICOL AFC are a club dedicated to encouraging people at all levels of soccer and boast now three woman’s and five men’s teams after two years.

10

Unicol Soccer Club Members The last two team awards were rounded out by the Waikato University Hockey Club taking out the University Representative Club of the Year boasting the largest hockey club in Hamilton with four women’s and six men’s teams.

The supreme award for Overall Club of the Year went to the University of Waikato Alpine Club. From its beginnings in 2008, the UOW Alpine club has been dedicated to encouraging students to enjoy the beautiful outdoors of the Waikato Region. Activities of the club include mountain biking, rock climbing, skiing and snowboarding trips with over 130 student members.

UOW Alpine Club spokesman Craig Hosking was stoked with his club taking out the $300 grant. “It was ecstatic, definitely did not expect it.

We really appreciate this award.” And Hosking also extended a warm welcome to future members, “everyone’s welcome in our club. It’s just about getting out there and having fun in a cheap, social environment.”

Three individual awards were also given out on the night. Service to Clubs by Club Adminstrator was awarded to the Secretary of Waikato UNICOL AFC Pia Scott-Kristesen. Service to Clubs by a Club Tutor/Coach went to Marleen Chang with her service to the foundation of the Waikato Kendo Club. And last but no means less, Services to Clubs by a University Staff Member went to Wendy Jackson for her work with the Chemistry Social Club.

The event was described by organisers as “a complete success.” Clubs Co-ordinator Shannon Cleave was pleased with the level of involvement from all clubs. “The evening was a complete success. All the clubs that won awards thoroughly deserved them and the quality of nominations was substantially better than last year which is good for the future of student clubs at Waikato University.”

NEWS

Join the Rally for education

By Grant Burns

This Friday August 7 at 12pm, supporters of adult and community education will converse on Garden Place Plaza to rally against the Government’s decision to cut funding. The rally is an attempt to raise awareness about the necessity of adult and community education and all students are urged to come help protest.

As previously reported in Nexus, the Government is planning to reduce funds from $16 million to $3 million for adult and community night classes. Adult and community night classes include: cooking, music, drama, etc, and the government sees these course as expendable.

“What this rally is about is signalling our protest towards this decision and hopefully repealing the decision and having night classes remain.

We would like people to support our cause and to support adult education as a whole,” says rally organizer Lili- Rose Bates.

The rally will include speakers as well as MPs and media.

All students who would like to protest against the government’s decision are urged to be at Garden Place by 12pm with vocal support.

“Inconvenient truths – an oceanographer’s view of climate change”

Get your facts straight On climate change

By Grant Burns This Wednesday August 5 at 1pm, Waikato University’s Golden Key chapter will be hosting a seminar on climate change in S.G.01 with special guest presenter scientist Dr Willem de Lange. The seminar is aimed at informing students with the correct information about the state of the environment and plausible solutions for action.

“Inconvenient truths – an oceanographer’s view of climate change” will be held in S.G.01and is open for all students to attend.

David Bennett MP

Vice-President of the Waikato Golden Key Jessica Forbes encourages any student interested in climate change or intellectual discussion to come along.

M P f o r h aM i l t o n east

Phone: 07 834 3407 Email: davidbennett@xtra.co.nz www.davidbennett.co.nz

“Climate change is an issue at the forefront of society and is something that will affect us all. As some of the future leaders of New Zealand we need to be taking an interest in climate change and playing our part to stop irreversible damage to the planet. Doctor Willem de Lange will give his view as a specialist in coastal oceanography. The seminar is open to everyone.”

www.national.org.nz 11

NEWS

Job and CV Seminars

By Grant Burns

Student Job Search (SJS) hosted the first of a series of seminars on CV writing and job hunting last Wednesday for students to improve their job hunting skills.

The seminar focuses on the best possible way to structure and sell yourself with your CV and what employers are most likely looking for. Some tips that were offered are: be proactive when searching for a job, follow up applications and interviews, and check SJS.

“These seminars are aimed at students who are looking for part-time work only. We want to help students improve their CV’s and find work during this tough economic time,” said SJS worker Rebecca.

When asked when the best time is to start looking for a summer job, Rebecca suggested early October.

Keep a look out for poster advertising of the next job seminar.

co.nz everyday because only three students get a referred to a single job.

Stuff.happening-on-campus/you-should-do.waikato.ac.nz

By Grant Burns

A whole bunch of random, miscellaneous events are popping up around campus during the next couple of weeks and many of them may interest you. So check ‘em out!

Join the Army. The New Zealand Army will be on campus on Wednesday 5 August from 1-3pm in MSB 1.0.5. Students can feel free to listen to the advantages of becoming an officer in the NZ Army and the joy of killing innocent civilians in far off countries.

Get a career. CV and interviewing skills workshops are taking place on Tuesday 4 and Wednesday 5 August in K.G.09 from 12-1pm.

The workshop is free for all students.

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Nominate someone for a Blues award. The Waikato University Blues Award nominations are now open for any students who have achieved a regional, national, or international level of recognition between August 2008 and August 2009 for their chosen expertise.

Get active. B Semester Specials are on at the UniRec centre. A 6 month gym membership is only $175 with student I.D. The special ends July 31st but I’m sure if you went in on Monday and said Nexus told you, they would be sympathetic. Activate, don’t hibernate!

Avoid nuns.

NEWS

VAULT March 23 1999

Breaking all the rules

By Grant Burns

The leader of a non-violent political activist group which recently sabotaged genetically modified potato crops will be coming to Waikato University to teach students how to break the law.

“Wild Greens,” a direct arm of the Green Party, made headlines this month when they destroyed an experimental crop of potatoes that contained a rabbit gene.

Group spokesperson Nandor Tanczos commented about the attack saying that in certain situations disobedience is a moral imperative.

“To be honest we no longer have time to ask nicely for urgent changes when the government has shown itself to be unwilling to listen,” said Tanczos.

“At such times direct action is the only alternative – genuine kiwi do-it-yourself.”

Tanczos will be hosting a seminar on campus about how to wage effective non-violent action. He says more and more citizens are frustrated with the way things are, but don’t do anything about it through fear of repercussions.

Tanczos said the publicity from the genetically engineered potatoes scandal and the parliamentary debates now occurring is an

“recently sabotaged genetically modified potato crops will be coming to Waikato University to teach students how to break the law”

indication of how effective non-violent action can be.

While on campus, Tanczos will introduce students to the concept of EcoNation Aotearoa: a vision to be implemented by 2020 that ties environmental and social justice issues together into a common goal.

“We are challenging the assumption that the free market is the ultimate social good. An EcoNation would recognise that market forces run the market.”

The Nexus Haiku News

By Drummond-san Teen back in school after ‘abusive’ Facebook quiz School takes umbrage To innocent question “Is my teacher retarded?”

Maori elder disrupts Taito Phillip Field trial Kaumatua tells jury how To decide – “Guilty?

Not even, ow.”

Secret Obama safe-house leaked online Peer-to-peer finds President’s house US hurls Baby, bathwater out Organic food no healthier - study Green greens no better

For your body, they say Enjoy yummy phosphates!

Conchords get freaky on new album Here’s hoping It’s a spoken word album With Will Shatner producing ‘Terrorist’ plans to sue Bruno Terrorists: When they say “sue” They mean “We’ll fly a plane into his house.”

Booze proposals no ‘return to wowserism’ Tighter alcohol controls?

Hamiltonian munters Just died inside

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FEATURE

The Devil Made Me Do It A thought-provoking argument Chances are you’ve stumbled across the news of one Clayton Weatherston, an Otago University Economics tutor who stabbed his ex-girlfriend two hundred and sixteen times.

Chances are you’d heard quite a bit, and while I doubt anyone has the gall to say that they’re sick of hearing about it, we’ve probably all had enough time to come to terms with the idea of someone making two hundred and sixteen stab wounds on another person, including cutting off their nose and mutilating other “sensitive” parts of their body. After getting to grips with that, word began to spread that the man responsible was claiming he was provoked. Now, you really would hope that someone who carries out such an act has been provoked in some way. The alternative is not very pleasant to think about. The catch is that Mr. Weatherston claimed it as a legal defense.

Appealing to the written word of Law, he and those aiding him made the claimed that because he was provoked, what he did was not murder. It was not a claim of innocence, or that Weatherston had not breached the most elemental standards of humanity, but that he held less than 100% of the responsibility for what took place that day, and that makes it less than murder. Oh, the outrage.

Before we delve into this, let’s cover the result of the case briefly. Weatherston was found guilty of murder by a jury of his peers (‘Peers’ in the sense that they were also genetically human, and are New Zealand citizens and therefore deemed to be naturalized to our land and laws). This means that the defense had the burden of establishing that 14

it was reasonable to argue that Weatherston was provoked, which they achieved. The prosecution then held the burden of proving that Weatherston was not provoked, which they achieved. The provocation defense failed, like it usually does (look it up). The fact that it was used at all was still enough to provoke the outrage that we’ve been hearing about, and the knee-jerk reaction to ban the provocation defense. There’s nothing wrong with examining our society every now and then when attention is called to its divisive points.

But let’s look at it rationally. However we feel about the idea of seeing a daughter stabbed two hundred and sixteen times or about being emotionally tormented by a cruel lover, we need to shelve these emotions and look at the black and white lettering of the law. The law needs to be something we can go to time and time again to find objective decisions about how we as a society are going to exert force on other people’s lives. Something like that cannot be left to how we feel about something on a given day of the week.

Fortunately, there’s a handy checklist of what counts as provocation. Well, there was, under English Common Law up until the introduction of the Homicide Act in 1957.

- A grossly insulting assault - Witnessing an attack on a relative - Witnessing an Englishman being unlawfully deprived of his liberty - A husband discovering his wife in the act of adultery; and

- A father discovering someone committing sodomy on his son Cut and dry. Bad luck if you catch your husband in the act of adultery, your daughter being sodomised, if you are the recipient of a grossly assaulting insult, or you are Scottish or Irish. Don’t forget that this didn’t get you off the hook, it just reduced your crime to manslaughter by way of diminished responsibility. After the Homicide Act, the provocation defense changed to anything that would cause a reasonable person to lose self-control. Also interesting to note is that if the accused was provoked, who provoked him is irrelevant. If you bludgeoned a stranger to death with an oversized clock after seeing one too many episodes of Flava of Love you might have been able to claim provocation, for example. The various uses of this law over the years established the varying specifics of what makes up a reasonable person, selfcontrol, and how much time is allowed to elapse between when you flip your lid and actually go about shanking someone. This was all in England, so it doesn’t affect our legal precedent all that much, but it’s worth a look at how the idea of provocation came about.

Also of note is that when provocation was introduced Capital Punishment was around, so it created a chance to re-evaluate the call for a death sentence on someone who may have lost control and killed, and wasn’t likely to go out killing again.

So that’s the background. Let’s lay the defense as it stands out and take a look at

FEATURE

“Cut and dry. Bad luck if you catch your husband in the act of adultery, your daughter being sodomised, if you are the recipient of a grossly assaulting insult, or you are Scottish or Irish”

it. When making the claim of provocation, a defendant is telling the jury that through the actions of another, they were rendered unable to prevent themselves from taking a life. That’s a difficult claim to make. We all feel like killing someone every now and then, sometimes we say it out loud, but the urge is suppressed in an instant by the rational side of our brain that has been constantly by our parents, teachers, and the rest of civilization to remind us that it is not in our or anyone’s best interest to break that particular social contract; this manifests itself as morality, but I digress.

The defendant is claiming that some external force, that they had no control over, took that and threw it out the window. Now we all lose control sometimes, even if it’s slamming the poker table someone beats you with a lucky hand. It’s reasonable. The jury’s job is to determine if you did indeed lose control, and if so – and here’s the kicker – would a reasonable person have done the same? With that as the underlying tenet of the provocation defense – this particular jury’s benchmark for a reasonable person – you can see why this is such a popular issue. There’s also the rather obvious counter-question; would a reasonable person even lose control? Everyone has something to say about it, and that’s after strip away the emotional context of what the alleged crime was, and have a good hard look at what is being asked of the law.

A popular argument at the moment is that murder is murder, and it’s a fair one. This argument seems based in the idea that that the killing is being justified; that the law is

taking into account that the accused had a good reason. This is an easy reduction to make, but not accurate. No-one is suggesting that in a civilized society, there is a good reason to take a life. Just that the accused is not singularly responsible for what occurred, so there is small room for leniency. A society that allows someone to reach the level of mental health where they can snap one day and commit murder is partially responsible.

Also please note that provocation in no way suggests or allows for the implication that the victim got was coming to them. No. People who are arguing in favour of the provocation defense have to tread lightly around this, but the underlying concept is that in the case of the victim shown to be excessively antagonistic then they share some fraction of the responsibility for what happened. That still sounds rough, but compare it to someone walking alone at night through a rough part of town. They don’t deserve to be mugged or killed, but it’s an unfortunate fact of life at the moment that these are possible consequences.

We’ve heard from families of victims whose killers have used the provocation defense, talking about their grief as their deceased loved one gets put on trial in court by the lawyers of the defense. That is unfortunate and ugly, but remember that the defense has to establish a case for provocation before the trial. If the victim was such an asshole that it got them killed by an unhinged associate, then maybe their family could do to hear the truth. If they were a shiny happy person then there would be no-one testifying against their character, just the accusations of a killer. The provocation

defense is being investigated, and no doubt this will be addressed.

Take all of this into account, and get back to the previous point; what is being asked of the law? Ultimately a group of jurors are being asked to make a case-by-case decision on what happened based on their impressions of the accused, anecdotes about the victim, and their feelings on what makes a reasonable person.

And so we are back at square one.

In a regular murder trial the jury is looking at hard evidence and making objective decisions based on what they’re shown. With the claim of provocation, the action has been admitted.

Jurors are not being asked to discard their preconceptions and decide if the prosecution’s evidence is enough to prove the accused did the deed. They are being asked to listen to the accused, decide if they believe what they say, and then compare it to a standard based on their life experiences. On the jury’s collective standard on what they feel to be reasonable behavior. This is not black and white. A different jury could return a different result.

Before you go rushing out to sign petitions or join Facebook groups, decide if you want this particular area of our law to be decided emotionally on a case by case basis. What if your best friend was killed by someone who claimed to be provoked? What if one minute you were being mercilessly emotionally abused and the next you found yourself standing over a body? I’d ask you to think rationally before you act, but apparently that’s not always a given.

15

LETTUCE

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THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A WINS A $20 BOOK VOUCHER FROM BENNETTS P E WEEK BOOKSHO TS TER OF THBOOKSHOP! WAIKATO UNIVERSITY IVERSITY M BENNET US LET IKATO UN HER FRO THE NEX P! WA .co.nz WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP OK VOUC RSITY BOOKSHO @bennetts $20 BO UNIVE EMAIL wku WAIKATO ADDRESS Gate 5 HillcreststRoad FAX 07 856 2255 EMAIL wku@bennetts.co.nz Road

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Send letters to editor@nexusmag. co.nz Letter of the Week wins a $20 Bennett’s voucher!

Easily the best letter we’ve received all week.

Letters may also be sent via the letters thread at forums.nexusmag.co.nz.

We sometimes get too many letters to publish these days – but don’t stop

Dear Nexus Could you please make a motion to the WSU or whoever that mature students who talk

sending them! Letters that don’t make it into the mag can be viewed in the forum as well.

Txts to the Editor!

Nexus now has a non-new TXT-in service! Send Letters to the Editor - via text - to 021 235 8436.

too much in class should be locked in sound proof cabinets which then store up all the questions and comments they make which extend class by twenty minutes

and transform them into a single statement of equal importance being naught love Students who want the lecturer to get a chance to lecture

What a stupid letter. What a stupid, stupid, letter.

Don’t forget: You can send Busted pictures in by pxt! Send us your best snaps of you or your mates in Bustedtype situations to 021 235 8436.

Letters policy: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be kept under 250 words and be received

by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication. We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be) but if it’s a serious letter we’d prefer you to use your real name. Send letters to editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Moving from Auckland to Waikato was a difficult decision.

I didn’t want to be surrounded by insignificant hicks that smelled like cow shit!

Some of them weren’t even farmers!

After a year of study at AUT it was decided that they didn’t want me back.

Luckily a school which I wont name accepted me. It starts with Wai ending with Kato Uni but that’s all I can say.

Off to King Country it was. Where people think it’s okay to wear gumboots with socks pulled up to their knees.

That’s not okay.

I arrived with low expectations of this Third World. My initial reaction was that even the poor African kids would suffer here.

I was to be proven wrong.

WAIKATO RULES!

Driving in Auckland singing my heart out, thinking I was the next NZ Idol, I was looked at in disgust. Some people even pointed and laughed. This hurt my feelings.

However, in Hamilton I’m not pointed or laughed at. You dicks join in!

Some cunt in the car next to me wound down his window while I was “car singing” and began singing the same song! That’s incredible. You shit heads are alright.

Your driving though is not. That’s another story I’ll leave for another day.

I’m ashamed to say I’m a Jafa. I’m Just Another FUCKEN Aucklander. Yes, I upper cased fucken only to emphasise the negativity on Aucklander.

Eventually I’d like to have the honour of being named a Mooloo, one that can drive though.

By Michaela Afoa

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A $20 BOOK VOUCHER FROM BENNETTS WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP!

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LETTUCE

Send in your own photos then

Texts to the Editor Send texts to 021 235 8436!

Lame!

A letter similar to this has already been published, but I don’t think the message has got through. Can the three chicks who continue to send an overload of photos of themselves into busted PLEASE STOP! The point of busted is embarrassing/funny photos. The same three girls in varying outfits every week is not embarrassing or funny! Ill point out in issue 15 of nexus where seven of the photos were these girls on a couple of nights OTP. We all love to share our photos and see what other students are up to, but isnt that what Bebo and Facebook are for? I dont think busted is the opportunity for three girls to showcase the different outfits they wear to town. We were there girls if we wanted to see more we would have asked on the night!

Everyone enjoys their 15 minutes of fame, but I think these girls a over achieving to a level the general public cant enjoy anymore. Again, I ask, please stop.

Anonymous

Munter Hi! Im an asian boy n last Sunday sum unkwn kiwi boy txt me tis ‘Is that u hoti ive bn waytn 4 u lastnyte 4 that thng u neva kum u dnt like my thing nemoa’ wot a gay! Lol he still believe tat im a girl lol ps. I want more Sudoku on the mgz! Ps2 tat gay boy txtd my txt is lovly hot lol gay

Munter#2 I do enjoy reading your mag whilst sitting in on mates lectures while I pretend to be sick so I dont have to work.

Chicken nipples

Hello Hey josh

The point of Busted is to send in photos, embarrassing or funny or whatever. If you’re sick of the same faces, send some of your own. But for God’s sake, stop bitching. You’d think it would be easy – Ed.

They teach syllables at kindy?

Studylink has three syllables. Back to kindy Logan.

Intelligence: precursor to University study?

Dear logan n, re: complaining about Studylink.

Studylink is not a two syllable word. Maybe if you learned to count they might deem fit to pay your uni fees

Oops.

Dear Students Ever since I began reading Nexus I’ve struggled to comprehend the Lettuce page. A brief glance in a given issue reveals 90% of the writers to be morons. So, here is my heartfelt plea to all the non-stupid people out there. Write something. Something amusing, something interesting, something that isn’t the usual sub-literate pap from a certifiable idiot.

Prove you’re not all stupid. It happens sometimes, but I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like to get a decent opinion. So, please, send in a decent letter. We give you a $20 voucher if you do. There’s not much competition.

Sincerely, Editor

Vitamin C. Re: phat controller. Battlefield 2 was on PS2. The game you are reviewing is Battlefield 1943. Yes, I am a pedantic cunt.

See? Everyone is munters.

Dear mr Indian guy. You sit infront of me with all that (posibl) vegetable oil in your hair. You may think its attractive. Bt no. Combined with your cheap cologne, it smells like fungus on bread or much worse. Bt that’s the first thng I thought of…Either you stop siting infront of me. Or just drown yourself.

17

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FEATURE

Spark , the contemporary arts, media and design festival that brings together in Hamilton City, Aotearoa progressive artists and practitioners from world’s creative community, is set to offer another impressive line up for the 11th year running. It’s free, it’s creative and it’s all good.

This year sees a number of exciting speakers and events visiting Hamilton for Spark. There are NZ film premieres, exhibitions, theatre, music, new media, design, fashion and much more. The Spark website at http:// www.spark.net.nz has all the information, and new events or time/venue adjustments will appear there also. You can also follow the Spark twitter on www.twitter.com/wintecspark if thus inclined.

Spark appreciates the ongoing support of the University of Waikato, who have sponsored two of the sessions especially – the theatre presentation by Massive Company director Sam Scott and actor Wesley Dowdell (Whero’s New Net), and UK graphic designer Sara De Bondt.

Drama and Design students are encouraged to take full advantage of these presentations (and all the others, of course).

Most Wintec Media Arts classes have been cancelled or truncated to allow students to attend Spark presentations, workshops and events during the week. There is a rumour that some Uni media classes may follow suit, but it would pay to ask your lecturers about that.

PRESENTATIONS

WORKSHOPS

WHAT DO I DO?

The presentations from international and national guests are the juiciest aspect of the festival, allowing audiences to get an insight into their careers, projects and work processes. In these alleged Tough Times, it’s often inspiring to hear exactly how people in the creative industries have attained their success and got where they are, doing what they love. Most talks contain multiple gems of useful advice, regardless of the speaker’s field, so individuals often choose to attend as many as possible. Dessert fans may find unexpected delight in a savoury entrée..

The workshops with visiting speakers offer a unique opportunity for students to find out more, or get feedback on their own work. The workshops are free, but do require bookings.

Students get preferential entry to these workshops, but a few places are reserved for members of the public also. Details of what’s on and who to contact to book your spot is on the website – www.spark.net.nz.

Turn up to everything! – ideally a bit early.

Presentation seating will be first come, first serve. There will usually be a live feed in the adjacent room, for those who are late or can only watch part of the session.

EVENTS To continue the edible metaphor, the events are cherries sprinkled through the Spark cake – tasty additions to the programme such as exhibition openings, screenings, forums, theatre and Pecha Kucha Hamilton’s 1st birthday. The events can also cater for those unable to attend the daytime workshops. Diary your favourites forthwith.

WHERE DO I GO? Most presentations happen in Events Room 1 at Wintec’s Gallagher Hub (big glassy building uphill from the Warehouse). Workshops are in various locations around the School of Media Arts. Events also happen at the following venues: Ramp Gallery (Collingwood Street), Ferrybank Conference Centre (Grantham Street), La Mezz Gallery (1 Greenwood Street), Clarence St. Theatre (Clarence Street) and Ward Lane Bar, (Ward Lane). Generally, if in doubt, check the website at www.spark.net.nz or ask at the Spark HQ.

OH, AND HOW DO I GET ONE OF THOSE AWESOME SPARK T-SHIRTS? Excellent question! To purchase one of the very stylish tees, featuring a design by local artist Glen Leslie, you simply pay $25 to the Wintec cashier (located in A Block), and bring the receipt to Media Arts reception - or the Spark t-shirt desk. If you’re not in Hamilton, email spark@wintec.ac.nz. OR you can win one if you’re lucky (look out for the competition in this issue).

See you at Spark!

19

FEATURE

Special Group: creative ad agency (NZ)

allowing indie producers to self publish and broadcast

Nicky Deeley: sculptor and artist (UK)

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 12.30 Monday 3rd August

on radio & TV. She will give real-life examples of new media being hacked together with twigs & string,

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 11am Friday 7th August

Special Group is an advertising agency based in

such as the g33k show, an animated 8 week TV series

Nicky Deely is an emerging contemporary artist in

Auckland who enjoys producing original creative

(made with a team of two on zero budget); and the

London, working with sculpture and illustration.

work that gets results for clients. They, er, specialise

reboot of Twisted Radio using a P2P stream to reach a

Nicky currently creates highly detailed, humorous and

in viral ads – the recent campaign for Maxshop.com

potential audience of millions globally.

poetic sculptures and drawings which explore human

has spread across the world, picking up praise and

relationships with the innate, and the startling beauty

attention on hundreds of websites – including Kanye

John Pule: artist, poet, printmaker (NZ)

and brutality of the natural world. She will also talk

West’s blog site. Another high profile project involved

about personal experiences as an artist working in

creating the billboard, leaflet and press campaign

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 11am Wednesday 5th August

for the Green Party leading up to the 2008 election.

John Pule is recognised as one of the Pacific’s most

influential Seventeen Gallery.

The young agency was recently named the ‘hottest’

significant artists. His work involves media such as

independent NZ agency’ in leading Australasian

painting, drawing, printmaking, film-making and

The Sing Songs: Musicians (NZ)

marketing magazine Campaign Brief.

performance. In 2004 John Pule was honoured with the prestigious Laureate Award from the Arts

Where: Gallagher Hub, Wintec When: 9am, Friday 7th August

Guto Barra & Béco Dranoff: Filmmakers of ‘Beyond Ipanema’ (USA)

Foundation of New Zealand.

The Sing Songs are currently based in Wellington,

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 9am Wednesday 5th August. Note:

Marina Goldovskaya: Cinematographer (USA)

recently antiquated ones such as the omnichord and

‘Beyond Ipanema’ itself screens 7pm Tuesday.

and chat with Matthew Bannister about making and

Guto and Béco are NYC-based music producers &

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 9.30am, Monday 3rd of August

film-makers of Beyond Ipanema, a documentary

Russian-born documentary cinematographer who

about how the Brazilian culture has been exported to

will screen her latest film Three Songs about the

Sam Scott and Wesley Dowdell: Theatre

the world. They will discuss the process of making the

Motherland, and also discuss her work as a mentor

film. Beyond Ipanema sold out a week ahead of its

to film makers at the University of California,

New York world premiere two weeks ago, and should

Los Angeles Film School. In the 1960s, Marina

director & actor (NZ) Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 12.30pm Thursday 6th August

make a fascinating watch.

Goldovskaya became one of the then-Soviet Union’s

Sam Scott is founder and artistic director of Massive,

pre-eminent cinematographers and documentary

an ensemble theatre company, and actor Wesley

Paul Seawright: Photographer (Ireland)

filmmakers. Everyone awaited the work of this

Dowdell has appeared in many productions for

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 9am Tuesday 4th August

seemingly fragile woman, who was filled with strong

Massive (and can also be seen on TV3’s Outrageous

passion and determination, ready to walk through the

Fortune as Aaron Spiller). Scott and Dowdell will talk

Paul Seawright is Belfast-based documentary

proverbial fire to capture a unique cinematic glimpse

about “Whero’s New Net”, a play by Albert Belz

photographer whose work has been exhibited

of life’s truths. She has since made dozens of films,

which is on at Clarence St Theatre during SPARK 09.

worldwide and is held in many museum collections.

and mentored numerous young filmmakers, both in

In 2002 Paul was commissioned by the Imperial

Russia and in the United States, where she has lived

Sara De Bondt Graphic designer (UK)

War Museum London to respond to the war in

for the last number of years.

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 9am Thursday 6th August

Denise L’Estrange-Corbet: Fashion designer, World (NZ)

Sara De Bondt is a London-based Belgian graphic

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 11am Tuesday 4th August

2003. This award-winning designer will share insights

Denise L’Estrange-Corbet is a leading NZ designer

visual and mixed media artists.

and play a range of instruments (including some

Afghanistan and his photographs of battle-sites and minefields were exhibited in the Series HIDDEN, published by the Irish Museum of Modern Art.

Helen Baxter: Columnist, radio host, animator, digital media expert (NZ)

London and her recent solo show at the young but

melodica.) They will sing songs, show music videos recording music as well as the bits on the side.

designer who has been running her studio since into her collaborative practice working with different

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 11am Thursday 6th August

with fashion label World.

World was established in Auckland in 1989 by Denise

Vee Smit: Interior designer (NZ)

Helen Baxter is Managing Directrix of Mohawk Media,

L’Estrange-Corbet and Francis Hooper. Fuelled by their

a Big Idea columnist, lecturer, and member of the

energy and passion, their vision and work has seen

Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 12.30pm Friday 7th August

XMediaLab. In her spare time she likes to run with

their label develop from a cupboard at the back of

Interior designer Vee Smit from Space Studio brings

scissors and hack fabrics. In her ‘how to be a new

an arcade, to one of the leading avant-garde fashion

to the practice a strong operational overview of the

media mogul’ presentation at Spark, Helen Baxter

houses in the country.

design process, having worked with many clients in a

will show how mobile & streaming technologies are

range of roles including marketing, strategic planning and design consultancy.

20

FEATURE

COMPETITION:

How many years has Spark been running, and which speaker will you make sure not to miss?

To go in the draw for a Spark t-shirt .

Email your answers to spark@wintec.ac.nz

THEATRE: WHERO’S NEW NET Presented by HCT and Massive Company: Whero’s New Net, featuring an adaptation of short stories by Witi Ihimaera. At Clarence Street Theatre, 5th – 8th August. Tickets from Ticketdirect (student price $20)

PECHA KUCHA HAMILTON VOL #5.

Thursday 6 August, Doors open 7pm.

Gallagher Hub, Wintec. $7 door sales (cash only) | Cash bar available. This event marks one year of Pecha Kucha in Hamilton! Come and sample the short sweet mini-presentations.

WINTEC GRADUATE FORUM Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 5.30pm Thursday 6th August Hear Wintec graduates chat about their experiences and see examples of the work.

Features Getty Images photographer Sandra Mu, Huffer designer Aaron Styles and filmmaker Michelle Savill.

MEDIARTS POST-GRADUATE ALUMNI SHOW: “VIVA” Where: La Mezz Gallery, 1 Greenwood Street When: 3 - 15th August, 9am - 4pm. Opening: 5.30pm, Tuesday 5th August

FILM SCREENING: BEYOND IPANEMA Where: The Gallagher Hub

When: 7pm Tuesday 4th August BEYOND IPANEMA, fresh from its world premiere, is a mash-up of thoughts and ideas about the repeating cycle of discovery of Brazilian music in the world.

FILM SCREENINGS: THREE SONGS ABOUT MOTHERLAND + THE PRINCE IS BACK Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 7.30pm Monday 3rd August Presented by the director, Marina Goldovskaya, “Three Songs about Motherland” depicts a dramatic collision between the past, the present, and the future in contemporary Russia by focusing on three different cities in this vast land.

SCREENING: ONEDOTZERO – EXTENDED PLAY Where: The Gallagher Hub When: 12.30pm Wednesday 5th August Extended Play is a select international programme of critically acclaimed, digitally inflected short films and animations, which extend way beyond the boundaries of traditional storytelling and style.

INTERNATIONAL POSTER EXHIBITION When: Monday August 3rd onwards. Opens 5.30pm. Ramp Gallery.

SCREENING: ASPIRE – SCHOOL OF MEDIA ARTS Where: Events Room 1, Gallagher Hub When: Friday 10th August at 2pm Aspire is a studio-based panel discussion with staff of Media Arts looking at the past, present and future of the School of Media Arts.

CREATIVE INDUSTRIES RESEARCH NETWORK MEETING Where: P Block meeting room When: 1.30pm, Thursday 6th August Contact: David Cook The Creative Industries Research Network was established in 2008 to strengthen creative practice research in New Zealand’s tertiary environment, in the domains of design, media, visual cultures and performance.

SPARK 09 CLOSING, WITH NICKY DEELEY EXHIBITION Spark week will be brought to a close for another year, celebrated by an interactive exhibition by Nicky Deeley where the artist invites members of the audience to adopt a figure created and crafted by Nicky. This work is part of a larger international project.

7/8/9 AFTER PARTY Where: Ward Lane, Ward St (TBC) When: 7.30pm, Friday 7th August Celebrate the end of Spark and this rare date alignment with a party!

21

Monday 3rd August

2009 Programme www.spark.net.nz

The SIng Songs Music

Friday 7th August

Sarah De Bondt Graphic Designer

Nicky Deeley Sculpture / Painting

Thursday 6th August

Guto Barra & Béco Dranoff Doco Film Makers of Beyond Ipanema

Helen Baxter Digital Media / Broadcaster / Journalist

Vee Smit Interior Design Venue: The Gallagher Hub

Wednesday 5th August

Paul Seawright Photographer

John Pule Print / Printmaking / Writer

Sam Scott / Wes Dowdell Director Actor Forum with Waihimi Hotere Venue: The Gallagher Hub

Sara De Bondt Venue: WIntec R Block Time: 2pm

Tuesday 4th August

Denise L’Estrange-Corbet Fashion

Onedotzero Screening Motion Graphics Venue: The Gallagher Hub

Creative Industries Research Forum Venue: P Block

8.45-9.30am Festival Opening

Media Bites with Carly Flynn Time: 12noon Venue: Ferrybank Centre

Guto Barra Venue: Moving Image Studio Time: 2pm

Marina Goldovskaya Time: 9.30 - 11.30 Film maker of Three Songs About Motherland & The Prince Is Back

The Special Group Graphic Designer / Advertising Agency Venue: The Gallagher Hub Carly Flynn - Q & A Venue: P Block Time: 10.30am

Presentations: 9am The Gallagher Hub

Lunchtime Events: 12.30 - 2pm The Gallagher Hub Marina Goldovskaya Venue: Wintec Moving Image Studio Time: 2pm

Presentations: 11am The Gallagher Hub

Workshops / Events: 2pm - 5pm

Aaron Styles Fashion Workshop Venue: W Block Time: 3pm

7/8/9 After Party: Live with The Sing Songs, Matthew Bannister & Guest DJs: Bossanova meets Glacier Time: 7.30 Venue: Ward Lane

Festival Closing w/ Nicky Deeley Exhibtion Time: 4.30 Venue: The Gallagher Hub

Aspire TV Show

by Mediarts students Time: 2pm

Grant Collier - Business Enterprise Workshop Venue: P Block Time: 2pm

Pecha Kucha Night Vol. #5 Time: 7.30 Venue: The Gallagher Hub

Wintec Graduate Forum: Film / Music / Talk Time: 5.30 Venue: The Gallagher Hub

Paul Seawright Venue: P Block Time: 2pm Béco Dranoff Venue: S Block S1.04 Time: 2pm Denise L’Estrange-Corbet Venue: W Block Time: 2pm Screening: Beyond Ipanema Time: 7.30 Venue: The Gallagher Hub

HCT + Massive Company Present Whero’s New Net Time: 8pm Venue: Clarence St Theatre

Exhibition Opening - VIVA Time: 5.30 Venue: La Mezz Gallery

The Special Group Venue:TBC Time: TBC

Events: 5.30pm++

Design Exhibition Opening Time: 5.30 - 7.00 Venue: Ramp Gallery Screening: Three Songs about Motherland + The Prince is Back Time: 7.30 Venue: The Gallagher Hub

Please note: the programme is subject to last minute changes, check the website for latest details www.spark.net.nz Last changed: 29/07/2009

22

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Upcoming WSU Events

Pres Sez

By WSU President Pene Delaney At the moment you are all preoccupied with assignments and tests. Here at the WSU we are considering next year’s budget. Proposed changes include increased support for the board and a realignment of operational funding to achieve key objectives of the organization. You are all encouraged to make submissions as to what you would like to see in the budget through our consultation rounds happening this week and next week. You may also wish to approach any one of your 11 directors and share your thoughts with them. Written submissions will also be taken – email president@wsu.org.nz with suggestions of what you think we should focus on or provide for next year. As part of the budgeting process we will also be writing an annual plan to outline to you – the students – what we intend to do for you next year. To put these plans into action and guide the organization, the WSU will be holding elections to find the

WSU Directors 2010. Nominations open the first week back from mid-semester break. I urge all of you who consider going for any of the positions to come and see us and get to know what the position entails. I plan to hold an info session during the nomination stage for potential candidates.

Last week the WSU held the inaugural Clubs Awards evening. This was a great chance for us to appreciate the contribution our clubs make to the campus culture. Congratulations to those who turned out for the event, and also to those who were awarded trophies for their efforts.

This week on Friday you will see our campus invaded with other tertiary students competing in the WSU Tertiary Challenge. As our team currently have the shield it would be great to see as many of you out there supporting our students to retain what is rightfully ours.

Nga Mihi

VP Speaks

By WSU Vice President Glen Delamere Well, it’s good to see that the Tauranga Uni Student is a similar beast to the Hamilton Uni Student.

How so, you ask? Well, as VP one of my roles is the Tauranga Portfolio, so I have ensured that I have visited the Tauranga Campus a minimum of once a month. The Tauranga students have indicated that they would like more events from the WSU and so with this in mind, we organized for Guy Cater the hypnotist to do his thing in the third week of B Semester. The event was limited (due to venue) to 150 tickets, of which all you had to do was show your ID card at Durham Street reception and you would get a free ticket, otherwise the cost was $5 at the door. A great night was had by all and we look forward to bringing more events to the Tauranga Campus.

With that in mind – Tauranga students, tell me what it is that you would like to see us (the WSU) bring to enhance your student experience! The Uni already provides you all with the educational experience with fun things such as lectures, tutorials, assignments, group work etc… so e-mail me at vp@wsu.org.nz with what you would like and we will see what we can do.

On that note a couple of weeks back I asked for any feedback on WSU spaces as we are doing a review. To date I have received a total of zero responses which can mean one of two things.

1. We are all happy with whatever the WSU decides so keep up the good work.

2. We don’t read Nexus (or at least we don’t read the WSU pages) and you are wasting your time writing this as I’m not going to read it anyway.

If anyone is actually out there and is concerned with the WSU spaces let me know on vp@wsu.org.nz

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1. Super 10 Kapa Haka (5 August) Performing Arts Centre. Doors open at 5:30pm. Free entry, but limited seating, so don’t miss out.

2. Student Budget Consultation (4th/6th/ 12th August) 12-2pm in the Bunker. Nibbles provided. Your opportunity to be involved with your Students’ Union Budget.

3. Law Ball 4. Snow Dodge 5. Northern Tertiary Challenge (7 August) Support The Tribe as they do battle with other Unis, Polys and Institutes of Tech right here on the Waikato Sports Fields.

6. Adult Learners Week (6-13 September) Celebrating mature students. WSU Sole Parent/ Caregiver scholarship awarded.

7. WSU Nominations open (7-18 September) Put up or shut up! Your opportunity to run for your Waikato Students’ Union.

8. Pride Week (12-20 September) 9. WSU Director Campaigns (21 Sep-2 Oct) Vote for me, vote for me…

10. WSU AGM Directors speeches (23 September) I have a dream…

Maori Student Advisory Group This Wednesday (5th August: 1-2pm) during “cultural hour”, the WSU Vice President Māori invites all Māori students to the Māori Student Advisory Group hui. The hui is a consultation with all Māori students to give advice and insight about Māori support and events on campus. It is also an opportunity for you to raise any student issues you may have.

See you there… kai provided.

WSU

Te Wiki o te reo Māori Te M 27-30 July 2009

Te Wiki o te reo Māori Te Mura Haka Ngāhuru TE WIKI O TE REO MĀORI 27-30 July 2009

TE WIKI O TE REO MĀORI Have you ever wanted to learn about these famous haka & see them performed by the professionals, here’s your chance.

Haka presentations to be given throughout Māori Language Week.

5 August 2009

Have you ever wanted to learn about TE MURA NGĀHURU these famous haka &HAKA see them performed by the professionals, here’s The Super 10 Kapahaka Competition your chance. invites 10 teams of 10 performers to compete for a Grand Prize of $1000.00.

Haka presentations to be given Each team will create and perform a throughout Māori Language Week. contemporary Kapahaka bracket for 10

RĀ

WĀ

WĀHI

HAKA

minutes. The bracket must contain a WĀ WĀHI HAKA Waiata-ā-ringa, Haka and Poi and be Rāhina 27 Hōngongoi 12-1pm A.G.30 He Oranga totally in the medium of Te Ka Reo Māori.

Rātū 28 Hōngongoi 12-1pm A.G.30 Mate

Rāhina 27 Hōngongoi

12-1pm

A.G.30

He Oranga

Rāapa 29 Hōngongoi

Rātū 28 Hōngongoi

12-1pm

A.G.30

Ka Mate

Rāapa 29 Hōngongoi

12-1pm

MSB.1.05

Te Puru

RĀ/DATE 12-1pm Rāapa Rāpare 30 Hōngongoi L.G.025 Here-turi-kōka Tika Tonu

Rāpare 30 Hōngongoi

12-1pm

L.G.02

Tika Tonu

DATE

TIME

VENUE

HAKA

Monday 27 July

12-1pm

A.G.30

He Oranga

Tuesday 28 July

12-1pm

A.G.30

Ka Mate

Wednesday 29 July

12-1pm

MSB.1.05

Te Puru

Thursday 30 July

12-1pm

L.G.02

Tika Tonu

Get ready to Wonka!

21st August at Mystery Creek Tickets out soon!

NAU MAI HAERE MAI! www.waikato.ac.nz/maori

RĀ

12-1pm

MSB.1.05

Te Puru

Wednesday 5 August VENUE HAKA WĀ/TIME TIME 6.00pm-9.00pm Monday 27 July 12-1pm A.G.30 He Oranga WĀHI/VENUE Gallagher Concert Tuesday 28 July 12-1pm A.G.30 Ka Mate of Wednesday 29 July 12-1pm Chamber, MSB.1.05 Academy Te Puru ArtsTonu Thursday 30 July 12-1pm Performing L.G.02 Tika DATE

HAERE MAI! NAU NAU MAIMAI HAERE MAI!

Doors open at 5.30pm, seats are limited. First in first serve.

www.waikato.ac.nz/maori

25

WSU

Thanks from WSU Operations Staff

Back Again…

Bronwyn Porter

Glen Delamere

Well ,once again you all have to put up with me rambling on as a couple of our Directors forgot to submit articles for Nexus (you know who you are). I know that you my fellow students must be wondering how could this happen? Is there no roster?

I will start with the second question: yes, there is a roster, which is on the door to the Directors

We all know that Directors are students like the rest of us, and therefore busy. But as students we all have to manage our time to ensure that we do what is required of us, otherwise this nasty beast known as lack of time make us appear inadequate . As we are all aware, we have 24 hours in a day and unless you can do a Back to the Future (a terrible movie from the

Office allocating which week they write and what each Director should write about. It includes a cut off time of 5pm Tuesday so that our poor Nexus Ed can get the WSU contribution and put the rest of the magazine together and sent off to the printer in time, so that we can enjoy reading our wonderful Nexus on Monday in lectures.

80’s), you have to use what you have carefully.

We discover this very early at Uni when we get pinged big time for submitting assignments late.

Anyway enough of this waffle what I am saying to my fellow Directors is come on, I shouldn’t have to do this and cover your butt.

Back to the Future is a masterpiece – Ed.

Consultation Budget Tuesday 4 August Thursday 6 August Wednesday 12 August

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Place: the bunker Time: 12-2pm Nibbles will be provided

WOW Waikato! You blew my sox off! I’m impressed at your party dedication skills!

Well, after a week’s nap, I guess that brings the beginning of B Semester Fiesta to an end.

Without everybody being involved this event could not have got off the ground, so this is a little thank you to all of those who deserve a BIG mention. Volunteers Caleb, Lisa, Amy, Rebecca and Sharnelle: you rock my party.

Extra special thank you to AJ (much love to the Ginger Ninja) and the rest of the directors who participated in B Semester Fiesta. Thank you also to fellow staff members, who drove till the wee hours of the morning for the NO Fuss Free Bus and generally made the week a wicked one! CHER!! So now, about that end of semester party…

Teams of 5-7 atleast 1 girl per team NOW $30 PER TEAM

Tuesday 13th August 12pm Start at the Village Green

Pick your balls up and register now at the WSU Reception

or download a registration form online a www.wsu.org.nz/events PRIZES for first place, second place and best dressed. Heaps of goodies from Domino’s Pizza, Spot X and R&R

NOTICES

The Nexus Noticeboard Send notices to notices@nexusmag.co.nz before Wednesday, 5 pm. Placing notices is free for students. We don’t always have much space, so get in quick! Notices cannot be any more than 75 words unless you ask us specifically and we say yes. They will roll over every two weeks, unless specified – so please, tell us how long you want us to run your notice for. We will not accept handwritten or otherwise non-electronic notices or dictation over the phone – that’s stone-age shit. If you (somehow) don’t have access to email or a computer, come into the offices and use one of our computers to type up your notice. Ta.

FLATS AND MATES Flatmate wanted. One room of five available.

Hamilton East. Ten minutes walk from uni.

Close to shops. $100 including power, phone and internet. email ryalkane@ihug.co.nz or ring Ross at 0212651764.

Flatmate wanted for 4 bedroom apartment. $100 per week, to live with 2 females and 1 male on innverness ave. Close to uni, warm and friendly environment. Phone or Text 0272835720.

but do every now and then! :) Contact us on 0274229602 Flatmates Wanted! We have 2 rooms available in our sunny, 4 bedroom house only 2 mins walk to uni!! House is fully furnished except for bedrooms. Current flatmates are an easy going couple in early 20’s, both 3rd year uni students, and 2 dogs. Rent is $120pw including wireless broadband,power, gas heating and sky. ph/txt 0272030148 or email sn68@waikato.ac.nz

RANDOM STUFF Flatmate wanted for 4 bedroom apartment. $100 per week, to live with 2 females and 1 male on innverness ave. Close to uni, warm and friendly environment. Phone or Text 0272835720.

For sale:Human development in Aotearoa: A Journey through life (2nd edition) written

by Wendy Drewery and Lise Bird.Very good condition. $40 Contact: 02102286768 or jk109@waikato.ac.nz

Not looking for a laid back flatmate to share our nice house, its close to uni (on may st) with 2females 1male, 2at uni 1working . rent is not $80 a week plus $25 flat expenses (power, internet, flat essentials) Off street parking is not available. Room is not medium to large, but do not need to bring own furnishings, house is pretty well set up, however any additions are not welcome.

Were a pretty relaxed and social flat, so if not interested plz don’t txt Becca on… SEE? That’s what happens when you post an ad on the Nexus Noticeboard? You get a flatmate! Send your notices to notices@nexusmag.co.nz!

FOR SALE - Brand new Mens Burton Hail Snowboard Boots, Men’s size US 11, UK 10, JPN 29, EUR 44. Mint condition, worn for half a day.

Colour - brown, purple, green and white Make me an offer or text to view Ph 027 375 8128

Flatmate wanted: One bedroom available in a clean and tidy four bedroom apartment style building with off street parking. There are 3 existing flatmates, 2 female (ages 20 &21), 1 male (age 20) all in third year at uni.

We pay $100 rent, +$50 for food, power, broadband and phone. We are a friendly flat and are looking for someone who is easy going and fun! We don’t party every weekend

FOR SALE - Black Lange Womens Ski Boots Worn for one day, excellent condition, approx 2 seasons old. Mondopoint size 24.5, European size 38-38.5, US size 7-7.5. Boots have Easy Concept Fit Thermofit Liners that can be heat treated to mold to your foot and calf for a more comfortable fit.

Suitable for those with a narrow foot. Would suit a recreational beginner to intermediate skier. Make me an offer or text to view Ph 027 375 8128 WEEKLY DANCE CLASSES: These classes are run by the Unity dance club.

They are suitable for everyone even with no dance experience. WEDNESDAY 1-2PM-various

styles taught each week such as contemporary, jazz, hip hop, ballet and more. THURSDAY 9-10.30AM-More advanced contemporary dance classes. Cost just $20 semester to cover both classes and this gives you access to dance workshops held as well! DONT BE SHY! SEE YOU THERE:) At the Academy of Performing Arts dance studio. Email ksr6@students. waikato.ac.nz Interested in Public Relations?

The MCOM Student Association is recruiting now. As a member you’ll have access to PR workshops, guest speakers, networking events and work experience projects. Free to join, looks great on your CV. Contact Maggie Lo at mhyl@waikato.ac.nz Student Life’s *Tune In* competition *Tuned Out* on Wednesday with the following names drawn as this semesters winners; Ipod Winner; Matthew Leach $20 Prepay Phone Card Winners; Johannes Botha and Johnathon Dudley Movie Money Winners; Marissa Theron Congratulations guys! In the off chance you haven’t heard from us give Claire a holler on Claire.semones@studentlife. co.nz <mailto:Claire.semones@studentlife. co.nz> or 021 589 084. Enjoy!

Cane of Punishment. Busty, sexy, x- rated duo. available for parties. $50 1/2 an hour. www.myspace.com/caneofpunishment I drive from Paeroa to Uni from Monday til Thursday if anyone wants a ride.

I can do pick ups in Paeroa, Tahuna, Morrinsville on my way.

We can share petrol costs, or can car pool.

There is 4 seats available.

Ring/Txt 0273481069 Email kf36@waikato.ac.nz

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COLUMNS

BOGANOLOGY 101

By Burton C Bogan Megadeth Christianity has the holy trinity, Charmed has the power of three (I have a mate who was obsessed with Alyssa Milano so shut up) and Metal has the big four. I’m a Thrash Metal fan so when I was a kid Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and Anthrax were all my Metal heroes. Metallica have been done to death (and does anyone still care?) and I’ve done Slayer before so I’ll turn my attentions to Megadeth before the much maligned Anthrax. Formed in 1983 after Dave Mustaine got kicked out of Metallica, Megadeth went on to produce a number of platinum and gold albums despite (or perhaps because of) ongoing drug use. This was apparently the reason why Mustaine got kicked out of Metallica, which is kind of weird given Hetfield’s later rehab stint and Metallica’s nickname being Alcohollica at one point. This sparked the Metal equivalent of the rappers “east v west” argument, with thrashers being divided between Megadeth or Metallica. Although we never had to bust a cap because of it. Despite liking both of these bands, I like to think of Megadeth as the thinking man’s Metallica. Metallica has catchier tunes and still has meaningful lyrics, Megadeth has more intelligent lyrics and overall more technically difficult (Hammett’s awesome solos not withstanding). Probably going to get in trouble for that one…meh.

Megadeth has kind of been in the background a little when it comes to the big four (other than dark horse anthrax). Not as commercially successful as Metallica, not as brutal as Slayer. Mustaine having a fat cry on Some Kind of Monster probably didn’t help the cause either.

Nor was his later change to Christianity. Mustaine does however have the distinction of being the most successful ginger in metal – a friend of mine used to call him the angry squirrel due to his hair colour and general angriness. Mustaine is also known as being the Metal equivalent of a diva, and it is probably due to his temperament that the band has undergone the numerous line-up changes that it has.

Like most old school bands their older stuff is the music I prefer, with particular favourite songs of mine being Peace Sells, Symphony of Destruction and Addicted to Chaos. Sorry, but anything after the Youthanasia album I don’t really get into. I love all of the big four, and to be honest don’t care about the Megadeth/Metallica divide (does anyone still care about that now anyway?). We got two really awesome bands.

But please Mustaine, don’t ever say that you miss your little Danish friend again, don’t know whether to laugh or to be sick.

Oh yeah, and the best bit? According to the bogan grapevine, Megadeth are coming to NZ …along with Slayer! October 5 is the day. But who will be headlining? The diva Mustaine or Kerry King’s favourite guitarist Kerry King? A tough call.

ESSENCE OF ANNOYING

Blair Munro is the essence of irony, too

It’s currently Nexus Deadline + 15 hours, I’m sitting at a computer lab in S Block trying my absolute best to channel the wit and charm of one James Griffin (writer of Outrageous Fortune to you, regular columnist of the Weekend Herald pullout “Canvas” to me) into this column, while typing through chilblained fingers, and all I can think about is time management.

The irony is strong with this one.

I have an essay to write, and a synopsis for said essay to hand in by tomorrow. Just one page, mind, much like this column, but I haven’t started it yet. Much like this column. See, I’m one of those firm believers in the motivational capacity of the minute after last. Years watching movies and seeing bombs disarmed at the final hundredth of a second, preventing nuclear holocaust, have ingrained in me this foolish notion that everything will be okay, that somehow, the universe will right itself at the most fantastically opportune moment, and the only time being late has any real effect on someone is when Aunt Flo is supposed to visit.

It’s funny (and yes, I’m all too aware that starting a sentence with the words “It’s funny” dooms the following statement to be about as ribtickling as anything said by Lee Evans), but we never really consider the flipside. I’m late writing my column, but I still get it in, ignoring all the stress felt by the Nexus staff, who are getting paid to put out a decent magazine every week, and are subsequently hindered in their job by my lack of time management.

James Bond never worries too much about how the plans of Le Chiffre, Dr. No, or that guy who played the dude from Happy Gilmore (with the nail in his head) are affected by his atypical British meddling. No, he disarms the bomb, with 0.07 seconds to spare, runs away with the girl, makes passionate love to her, drinks enough alcohol to make a Scottish politician sick, explains away the fact that the girl he just boned on a circular bed is never seen again, and reports back to MI6, where Dame Judi Dench yells at/congratulates him, and sends him on another adventure.

No, JB never notices that the plans of your average megalomaniacal villain are an attention seeking ploy to get his parents back together, or raise money for the SPCA. Bond: Puppy killing, marriage-splitting, inconsiderate cunt.

Just like me.

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COLUMNS

THE FEMININE FILES With Mavis and Gertrude

KIRILL INVESTIGATES:

By Kirill Seduction. Let’s look at the word. Se-DUCT-ion. In components this tells us exactly

With the dead of winter here, it’s time to treat yourself to a little pickme-up. No,that doesn’t involve going clubbing with a sign around your neck (although it can if that floats your boat). It involves having a bit of ‘me time’ and making yourself beautiful again, from head to toe. A beauty day will cheer you up from anything, particularly if you throw one for a group of friends and include fun girlie bonding and chocolate.

Start with a good old foot soak. Skin gets incredibly dry during winter

what seduction is all about.

from lack of moisture (kind of ironic considering it’s raining everywhere).

Soak your feet in warm water for about 10 minutes. This softens your skin. Then you rub some foot exfoliant into your feet, making sure to get your heels. Rub them heaps, ‘coz foot massages feel nice. Then rinse it off. Follow this up with a good scrub with a pumice stone. You can find these on beaches, or if you’ve got more money than sense you can buy them from chemists for more than they’re worth. Scrub your foot lots with the pumice stone. Then rinse and rub some intense moisturiser (thick hand cream from Garnier works well) into them. Finally, paint your toenails if you want! Oooh, pretty. Well, as pretty as feet can get.

To moisturise footsies overnight, load up on moisturiser and then wear socks, which ensures the moisturiser soaks in (Gertrude’s getting sick of typing the word moisturiser. Gertrude hates the word moist.) Put more of the intense moisturiser onto your elbows, coz they’re dry.

Next, the body! Have a shower and use a nice body exfoliant. We like the Body Shop’s strawberry exfoliant, and they have a clementine (mandarin) one too. Mmmm, fruitalicious. (This showering part is best to do alone – it’s awkward if you’re in a group.) Shave your legs while you’re there. Smoooooth.

There are heaps of natural facial recipes on the internet, or you can buy kits from chemists. Use a clay-based mask for oily skin, and a hydrating/ gel mask for dry skin. A good one for all skin types is made of oatmeal (1tbsp), natural yogurt (1 tbsp) and runny honey (1 tsp). Clean your face with cleanser and warm water, then exfoliate. Use a gentle facial exfoliator, like Nivea or Johnson’s. Next, steam your face. Steaming involves filling your sink with warm water, dipping a facecloth in, and pressing the cloth to your face. Do this two or three times. Then apply the mask. Don’t put it on your eyes (put slices of cucumber instead - it works!) Sit there laughing and feeling stupid for about 15 minutes, or however long your recipe says. Then rinse it off with warm water and moisturise (you can’t beat Olay moisturisers for your face, they’re amazing).

Don’t eat the mask. It smells nice, but just don’t.

Now you’ll be hot and fresh-faced! And if you have a sexy partner, use a nice long massage as foreplay. It feels as good as sex!*

and making things general and impersonal. Seduction is about grammar, and

Let’s Investigate!

Duct. Who uses ducts? Spies use them to crawl around all secret like. Air conditioners use them. Seduction is all about keeping cool, and secrets.

Ion. Ion is a science word. It is also a science fiction word. Seduction is about science and making up unbelievable stories.

Se. This is a Spanish pronoun, it can be used for reflexive pronouns, passive voice maybe also about being passive, impersonal and/or Spanish (this needs more investigating).

Having realized the nature of seduction I stocked up on secret, cool, scientifically proven methods of seduction and set out to use them in Hamilton… very passively with an impersonal air, and a sombrero. Fortunately this description is almost everything taught by books like “The Game” or any other forum trolled by men on the internet.

Here is an account.

It was raining. I wore a yellow rain slicker that looked like a sombrero, and Hello Kitty galoshes. I walked into a bar. I saw her. I knew she was trouble.

Our eyes met, I turned away, as though I didn’t care. She came over. I still didn’t care.

She asked for a drink. I looked her in the eyes, long enough to capture attention.

I switched my glance at the next hottest woman. She was nervous. She asked for a drink. I laughed. Rain drops splattered from my fisherman hat onto the bar.

I said “No”. She looked at me. “But, you can buy me a drink”. She didn’t seem impressed. She asked about my clothes. I had a story prepared but I blurted out “peacockin”. She knew I had read “The Game”. She laughed. I proceeded to try to give her backhanded compliments. “Your eyes are rather close together, it looks better than you would expect”. “Do your clothes not match on purpose?” It didn’t work.

I asked her if her father was a thief. He was a convicted sex offender. Oops.

I tried to make sure she knows I’m rich by leaving the keys to my 1998 Bluebird on the bar. Perhaps a better car is needed.

“Would you like a drink?” - turns out a drink is not a contract.

I realized that I was going about this the wrong way. I knew what must be done.

It did not take long to find a man that could help. He stood in the corner. Eyes darting. Hands twitching, reaching for butterflies that weren’t there. He had what I needed.

The price of a drink later I was set. I walked back up to her. She saw me. Her eyes met mine. I saw her disappointment swell. Good. She didn’t see me palm the contents of my pocket, or the flick of the wrist which delivered them into her glass.

*Almost.

I wouldn’t be going home alone.

Thanks, Rophynol.

And that is how you seduce someone.

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COLUMNS

The Madness

By Morgon deGroot The Problem With This Country Is… Our National Anthem New Zealand depresses me. No, it’s not that the drugs are hard to find (they aren’t) or our rampant binge drinking/binge pregnancy/binge Chlamydia culture.

It’s our bloody national anthem. Mr. Music, if you please: God of Nations at thy feet In the bonds of love we meet; Hear our voices we entreat; God defend our free land; Guard Pacific’s triple star; From the shafts of strife and war; Make her praises heard afar God defend New Zealand.

Do we (and by ‘we’, I mean ‘you’. I’m trying to denounce my citizenship and move to Australia) think that this is a fitting way to proclaim our national identity? Opening our song with the words “God of Nations-” when 40% of our country is made of people who claim to “no religion at all”(2006 Census) hardly seems like an intelligent move. Then again, this country that we call ‘home’ is hardly based upon, or run with intelligent thought, especially when we observe the likes of MP Jacqui Dean falling for the “Dihydrogen Monoxide” (read: H2O, or “water” as it is possibly known) scam or the Auckland Council deciding to give the ‘Foundation For Spiritualist Mediums’ $2,500 to “teach people to communicate with the dead”.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “What the Fuck?”

We’re too blasé in this damnable land about charlatans and liars, slanderers and fools, and ideologies that are unfounded in reality. Of course, our parents and teachers are the ones liable for forcing stupid ideologies upon us at young ages, leading to the appropriate phrase “It is impossible to reason someone out of something that he did not 32

reason himself into in the first place”. Corollary: If you’re raised an idiot, you’ll stay an idiot. No surprises when they found that children could be smarter if they were taught the powers of logic. Maybe if we raised our children as Vulcans we’d have less damned ‘homoeopathists’ (water sellers), ‘chiropractors’ (masseurs), or <<shudder>> ‘naturopaths’, who rely solely on the fact that the greater population don’t know basic science to determine that their ideas are of the special kind of stupidity reserved for the people who touch areas marked with ‘Wet Paint’.

We have to believe what the group believes, no matter what it is. That’s the way we fit in. Think back to school, where they’re cunning about it, making us sing that god-riddled national anthem or Christmas songs rife with religious references. And think - If you aren’t singing our proud national anthem/misc religious songs, you get detention or beaten, or worse: forced to sing again. We have to do what everyone else is doing or we won’t fit in, be it in school, fashion, politics, or home. That’s why Christians breed Christians. And porn stars. Seriously, you’d be surprised how many porn stars are ex-Christians. It’s funny. And ironic.

Which is the greatest combination for observational humour since Amy Winehouse actually went to rehab.

But what this country needs is a solid dose of reality, and a good punch in the soft and sensitive collection of dangly bits called non-critical thinking. And a new national anthem. One that doesn’t rely on some mythical cosmic sky-zombie to defend us from the “shafts of strife”, whatever the hell that is. Frankly, considering the sheer, insurmountable horror in the world, I’d think that ‘God’ is doing a pretty bad job of protecting anyone from ‘strife’, and frankly, hardly worth the worship.

My kind of religion is the one who lets me sleep in on Sundays, eat copious amounts of cake, and look at naked pictures of ladies without fear of smiting. Fortunately, such a belief exists, and it’s called “No Religion At All”.

REVIEW

The Phat Controller Reviewed by vitaminC PAIN

Developed by Idol Minds, avaliable on PS3 PAIN was one of the earlier games to hit the Playstation Store, way back at the beginning of last year and eventually gained the distinction of being the most downloaded title. This has prompted Sony to release it on Blu-Ray, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to review it with some added benefit of hindsight.

PAIN is about taking a stereotype, strapping them into a human-sized slingshot, and launching them into off into the wild yonder in order to chain up combos of breaking yourself and everything around you to earn points. You can control how hard you launch your meat puppet, and aim them. While sailing through the air you can pull a few poses and add after-touch to your trajectory until impact, at which point the Havok physics engine takes over and control is reduced to grabbing onto things and jerking your shattered bones around. Once you’ve been lying still for too long, then your turn is over and you go back to the catapult. On the surface, it’s about as simple as it sounds.

The gameplay comes in trying to plan increasingly destructive launches to net yourself more points. While at first you might get your thrills from trying to grab a pedestrian as you fly past and take them with you on your collision-course with an oncoming train, as you get more familiar with the physics you’ll be able to broaden your horizons. If you are sitting on the launchpad thinking “I wonder if I can hit that billboardsized bowling ball and get it rolling onto the traintracks…” then I guarantee you can do it, but it might take a few tries. It’s the ultimate sandbox/toybox hybrid in that you have no real objectives other than ‘Get points’, and you’ll find yourself coming up with your own games to play. Fortunately there are in-game achievements (distinct from the PSN Trophies) that give hints on what can be achieved, because without that you’d probably miss a lot of the hidden details.

Following from this, the real skill and the meat of the game involves racking up ludicrously high scores by extending a single launch into a 5minute destructive rampage. The ‘ooch’ mechanic works by jerking your character in a direction, for example towards a box of explosives, off a ledge, or into the path of a car. Your ooch meter goes down every time you do it, and only refills if you don’t touch the controls for about four seconds. The accuracy of the physics can make it painfully difficult (ohho!) to learn, but extremely rewarding to master. I assume. I haven’t earned a single trophy yet, nor many of the high end achievements, but the crucial grip of that “just one more go” mentality is present in spades.

While the game was light on content when it was launched, new areas and game modes have been released on DLC. You have the staple HORSE mode where one player makes a launch, and then the next player has to hit the same object that the other player hit first, and also beat his score, alternating back and forth until one person fails. This is an A-class party game, especially since you can choose to replace the word HORSE with any other word you can think of, like GORSE, HORSH, or TURDPIE. There’s bowling, which is just like regular bowling except with giant pins and flying people, and the suggestively named Mime Toss which involves mastering the grab mechanic to (fortunately) fly at mimes and swing them at sheets of glass. The sharpest touch is the PAIN Lab, where the development team upload a demo area weekly, with altered physics settings and interesting environment setups. It’s always great to see continued product support.

The Blu-ray release includes everything on the disc so you don’t have to buy it online, which is great news if you’re like me and you’d prefer there was no financial record somewhere that you paid $1.90 to buy the Horny Nurse character. Yeah. The basic theme is frat-boy humor, so your mileage may vary on that. Characters range from a midget pirate and ninja to a latino girl with ghetto booty to David Hasselhoff (with the Hoff voicing all of the grunts and moans) and many more.

There’s a hotel called the Coral Essex, so in successive launches you can knock off the letters and make it spell ‘Oral Sex’ and then high-five your buddies. So yes, PAIN makes a killer drinking game and that’s what I’ll recommend it as, but there’s also plenty of substance for single play as long as you’re willing to dig deep.

Correction: Last week the review title said Battlefield 1942 when the game was actually 1943. If it makes you feel better, I feel like a dick.

Courtesy of the intelligent, good-looking people at Sony we have a copy of PAIN on Blu-ray to give away! In 30 words or less, describe your dream date with David Hasselhoff and email it to games@ nexusmag.co.nz to be in to win!

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REVIEW

Auteur House Presents: Louis Malle

By Dr Richard Swainson

The beginning of Frenchman Louis Malle’s career slightly pre-dated that of the 1960s New Wave proper. He enjoyed initial international success co-directing a 1956 Palm d’Or winning documentary on marine life with Jacques Cousteau. Malle’s solo debut came two years later with “Lift to the Scaffold”, a film noir as beholden to American cinema as anything his Nouvelle Vague contemporaries would later achieve, featuring a ground breaking jazz score by Miles Davis.

Later in 1958 came Malle’s first masterpiece, “The Lovers”, a tale of infidelity which scandalised the United States at the time, leading to a famous trial in which it was accused of being formally obscene. As objectionable to Middle America as lyrical scenes of love making was the idea that the female protagonist could, without moral censure or any substantial crisis of conscience, abandon her husband and child for another man.

Malle’s next effort, “Zazie dans le métro”, is truly unique. A slapstick comedy that draws on both silent movies and cartoons its cinematic slights of hand - created both ‘in camera’ and through editing anticipate subtler gags in the films of Truffaut and Godard as well as later work by British directors who stole outright from the New Wave like Tony Richardson and Richard Lester. One set piece in particular involving the title character, a precocious young girl let loose in Paris, determined

to outwit any adult who might contain her natural exuberance, uses all the filmic tricks that Benny Hill would later make his own on the small screen.

Whether “Zazie” works as a whole is a different matter. Malle’s ambition was perhaps a strength and a weakness, leading to inconsistency in his oeuvre. At his best he was capable of commercial vehicles like “Viva Maria”, a spoof on westerns and revolutionary melodramas starring Jeanne Moreau and a never sexier Brigette Bardot, as well as heartfelt documentaries about Asia like “Phantom India” and “Calcutta”.

Malle was certainly never afraid of controversy. His “Murmur of the Heart” has a son and mother engage in loving and mutually consensual incest, “Lacombe Lucien” was amongst the first films to seriously examine the issue of French collaboration with the Nazis, and “Pretty Baby” is the story of a child prostitute whose virginity is auctioned off at age 12.

Arguably Malle’s finest achievement is the sweet natured and gentle if elegiac drama “Atlantic City”, featuring a towering performance by Burt Lancaster as a faded, would-be gangster, and a career-making one by Susan Sarandon as an apprentice casino dealer who soaks her breasts in lemon juice.

DVD: Choke Reviewed by Burton C Bogan

Victor Mancini is a weird guy. For starters, he is a sex addict and although he attends meetings he spends most of his time having sex with female addicts in the next room. His best friend, Denny, is a chronic masturbator. They both work at a local tour attraction as costumed colonials. Although Victor makes some money on the side by conning people who save his life when he intentionally chokes himself with food at a local restaurant. Victor’s mother has a great deal of psychological problems and is institutionalized but never recognizes Victor when he comes to visit, instead thinking him to be a series of men who have been her legal representation over the years. Now you’re probably thinking that this is a pretty fucked up premise for a movie but I haven’t even got to the bit where his mother’s doctor suggests a revolutionary new cure for his mothers psychosis and things start to get a bit biblical.

However, Choke is – amazingly – a redemption story of sorts. I won’t spoil the rest of it but it keeps you hooked right to the end. It is based on a novel by Chuck Palahniuk (who wrote Fight Club) and stars Sam Rockwell and Angelica Huston. I really liked this movie and was amazed it flew under my radar. This may be because it was written and directed (in his directorial debut) by Clark Gregg. Blockbuster movie-goers may remember him as the S.H.I.E.L.D agent in the movie Iron man, or possibly they won’t remember. Whereas Fincher had already directed Se7en before he did Fight Club. The acting is great, which (as a fan of Sam Rockwell) didn’t have me terribly surprised. I don’t even know why I like him so 34

CHOKE: Directed by Clark Gregg

much as I find it hard to rattle off a list of previous credits beside Green Mile or Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.

I’m trying to decide if this movie is disturbing or not. In some ways it’s more disturbing than Fight Club and in other ways it’s not. Sorry I can’t say much more without giving away the story – and yes it does have a twist…but a good one…not a Shyamalan one.

REVIEW

BOOK: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

By Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith Reviewed by Louise Blackstock This is basically the peak of zombie literature.

I’ve been a fan of Jane Austen for years now, with P&P being my favourite of her novels.

I doubt I am alone in this feeling. But Seth Grahame-Smith has given this talky novel a kick-start by adding a bit of action – zombie slaying style.

The novel contains 85% of the original text, supplemented by crazy zombie subplots. Mr Bennet trains his five daughters in kung fu to keep them alive against the “unspeakables”, whereas Mrs Bennet’s goal is to get them all married. During a ball, Jane and Elizabeth meet Bingley and Darcy – the latter being a famous and powerful zombie slayer. Elizabeth and Darcy match wits and katanas, and eventually discover their destinies.

The plot progresses as you would expect if you know the original story, but with random additions, such as Lady Catherine’s army of ninjas and Charlotte Lucas’ gradual transition into zombie wife. The story deviates quite radically from the original text in some cases (Mr Wickham’s fate being an excellent example), and the changes in famous passages and conversations are a particular highlight for those who have already read P&P. It’s a gimmick, but it works. You’ll see it eventually as a blockbuster movie. Austen fans will love it (unless you’re one of those pretentious “you can’t change the text, it’s PRECIOUS” types), and zombie fans will love it too (unless the big words are too hard for you).

There’s plenty of gore, blood, pus and vomit for everyone to enjoy.

A particular highlight for me was the classic “question page” at the end of the book, so the novel can be discussed in reading groups. Overall, there’s a few bits that fell flat, but they’re more than made up for by the genuinely laugh-out-loud material. The cover and illustrations are pretty fantastic too.

www.garfieldminusgarfield.net 35 35

REVIEW

Movie (P)review

By Joshua Drummond

For whatever reason, no-one saw any movies this week. So here are a couple of movies you should either see when they come out, or get out on DVD because the movie companies were too bastardly to release them here.

CORALINE Directed by Henry Selick, based on the novel by Neil Gaiman Coraline, which for some asinine reason was changed to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Coraline and the Secret Door,â&#x20AC;? for New Zealand audiences, is the story of a girl who discovers a door in her house that leads to a mysterious â&#x20AC;&#x153;otherâ&#x20AC;? world, complete with an â&#x20AC;&#x153;otherâ&#x20AC;? mother, father, and various other characters, which seems to exist only for her. The sole drawback: the various denizens have buttons for eyes, and if you want to be accepted, you need to have buttons sewed over your own.

It may sound like a kidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s story, and it is, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got to be one of the creepiest kidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s story ever written. Happily, it is being brought to life for the movies by stop-motion maestro and Nightmare Before Christmas director Henry Selick. No, Tim Burton didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t direct Nightmare. Look it up.

In the States, Coraline did very well despite opening to a limited release and being swept from screens by the utterly stupid Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Spectacular movie, which, thankfully, tanked. The trailers look wonderful, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m anticipating seeing it here. It is playing in exactly one NZ cinema at the moment, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m hanging out for a wider release.

Perhaps youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll get to see it at a cinema near you â&#x20AC;&#x201C; around a year after it first opened in America.

SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK Written and directed by Charlie Kaufmann.

What is this about? I have no idea. Based on the fact that Kaufmannâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s previous scripts were all dark, unsettling masterpieces (think Adaptation, Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) Synecdoche will probably be amazing in itself â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and, as these things tend to go, never see the light of cinema over here. So, do what you do and watch it on DVD. Auteur House will eventually stock it, if it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t already. Or thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a method that rhymes with Tit Borrent. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t blame me, giant media companies. I would have watched it in a nice comfy arthouse cinema with popcorn and all if WE STILL FUCKING HAD ONE IN HAMILTON. (And we will again, soon. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a new cinema opening where Rialto used to be, which is brilliant, because with the unbridled stream of drek spilling from SkyCity lately Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve realised just how much I missed it.)

4/4!, 6)3)/. /04/-%42)343

TOO MUCH GROG It was a great party, but unfortunately Bill had several drinks too many. He got caught driving, even though there is a number of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;driver serviceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; listed in the yellow pages that could have got him home safely.

Drink-driving is a serious offence and carries tough penalties, especially for repeat offenders. Third and subsequent offenders face maximum fines of $6,000, prison terms of up to two years, and a one year minimum disqualification from driving. If you cause injury or death while drink-driving, you can be fined up to $10,000 for driving carelessly while under the influence (no breath or blood test needed); up to $20,000 where a breath or blood-alcohol test shows you were over the limit and you could be sentenced to prison. It will probably be necessary to have legal advice if you have a drink driving offence!

The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other hassles you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge database to help answer anyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s questions. Visit them at the Cowshed from 1pm â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 3pm daily during semesters or phone 8384466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB. The NZ Transport Agency site (www.nzta.govt.nz) also has anything you want to know about rules as well as offences and penalties.

36

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REVIEW

CITRIC Nick Johnston

On 25July, Hamilton was treated to two of the finest live bands I’ve seen in a very long time: Dimmer and Dictaphone Blues. But if I were to say the turnout was poor, that’d be a massive understatement.

Dictaphone Blues were on first around 10pm playing to an audience of approximately 10 people. Dimmer, at the peak of the night, only had 50 people at the most. Thankfully the bands were good sports and managed to hide any disappointment in the abysmal turnout, both delivering fantastic sets.

Having only heard one single (You Put It In Me) from Dictaphone Blues, I was still not sure what to expect for the rest of the set. They performed some of the most joyful indie pop songs I have heard in a very long time.

By the end of their set, I promptly ran back to the guy at the door to pick up a copy of the album, which is our feature album of the week. It might be tough to get these guys back, and I don’t blame them if they didn’t want to step into Hamilton again after that gig, but if they ever do play a gig here again, you’ll be able to check out one of New Zealand’s finest pop bands at the moment.

Dimmer were on next, playing their last gig with bassist Kelly Steven.

After pulling a crowd of 500+ people the night before at The Kings Arms, Shayne Carter managed to hide any disappointment of his final

tour stop incredibly well. I feel incredibly lucky to have been in the audience for this show. It wasn’t an issue that I didn’t know the earlier Dimmer albums well, the songs and performance was mesmerising.

The new songs from their new album Degrees of Existence sounded incredible, especially Cold Water and the title track.

It is such a shame that we are getting some great bands touring through Hamilton (after a couple of years of being left off almost every single national tour) and they are drawing embarrassingly low numbers through the door. The Puddle played a show at Ward Lane with the Hollow Grinders and Matthew Bannister, which drew similar numbers.

Die! Die! Die! were in town the weekend before and the majority of the crowd was made up of Aucklanders who had made the trip down to see the band.

I feel incredibly privileged to be able to see consistently good shows week after week, but it is an embarrassment when you live in the 4th largest city in the country and a gig will pull little more than a city/town half our size. I fear the damage from these poor turnouts will be felt in summer when everyone is ready again for some good gigs and, for some strange reason, no one wants to tour here!

ALBUM REVIEW

Dictaphone Blues: On the Down & In Dictaphone Blues is the latest project of Edward Castelow, who previously played with the Brunettes and the Ruby Suns. This is quite possibly one of the finest collections of pop rock you’ll hear from a New Zealand band this year. It is regrettable that it has taken me a few months to check out this album, but better late than not at all!

The album starts off with ‘I’ll Be Damned’, the introductory track to ‘100 Suns Inside My Lungs’, one of the highlights on the record. Brilliantly simple pop music at its finest. The first single ‘You Put It In Me’ is a perfect example unashamedly cheesy brilliant pop music. If you haven’t heard this song yet, jump onto Myspace or iTunes and have a listen. It’ll be stuck in your head for days.

The album loses a bit of momentum in this middle stage, having such a hard act to follow after the first five tracks. The songs

are certainly good songs, but not quite as magical.

The final few tracks on the album show a return to the brilliance of the earlier tracks.

‘A Counter Observation’ and ‘The Receiver’ showcases the band at their strongest, easily my favourites on the record and in the live set as well.

The strength of this record is in the songwriting. Unlike so many indie pop releases, it does not need to constantly rely on quirky arrangements to keep the songs interesting.

Many of the songs have a standard vocals/ guitar/bass/drums arrangement with some keyboard parts thrown in for good measure, and that’s all it needs. An example of this is the track ‘Pale Shade of Blue’ which sounds like a mix up of Weezer and The New Pornographers.

Considering the multitude of living rooms that this album has been recorded in (according

to the liner notes), the sound and production is quite solid and well structured. It is been a while since I’ve really been excited about a local pop band, but I think we can expect big things from Dictaphone Blues in the future. I guarantee this great pop record will get rid of any winter blues!

Rating: 4/5

37

GIG GUIDE

To have your own gig showcased in Nexus, simply email gigs@nexusmag.co.nz. Churr.

Cantando Choir presents Mendelssohn’s Elijah Mendelssohn’s Elijah, with its dramatic choruses, beautiful arias and descriptive organ accompaniment, make this powerful oratorio one of the greatest choral masterpieces of all time The choir is joined by world-renowned organist John Wells and four outstanding soloists, all of whom are well known to local audiences: Elaine Wogan (Soprano) Sat 29 Aug 2009 Cost: Adults: $30 Seniors: $25 School Students: $15 Time: 7.30pm Where: St Paul’s Collegiate School, Hukanui Road, Chartwell, Hamilton Concert: Mighty River Harmony The Mighty River Harmony Chorus is a fraternity of barbershop singers from all across the greater Waikato region. It aims to provide exciting entertainment to a wide audience through the highest quality singing and performance standards.

Sat 08 Aug 2009 Cost: $5 per person or $10 for families of up to 2 adults and 2 children.

Time: 7.30pm Where: Raglan Town Hall , Bow St, Raglan

Lunchtime Recital Series: Lara Hall and Rachael Griffiths-Hughes Music from the Baroque and Classical eras for violin and harpsichord played as it would have been heard all those centuries ago.

Wed 05 Aug 2009 Cost: By donation Time: 1pm Where: Gallagher Concert Chamber, WEL Academy of Performing Arts, University of Waikato Campus University Concerto Competition Final Pianist Gabrielle Peake, violinist Rebecca Leathwick and cellist Edward King come face to face with concertos by Beethoven, SaintSaëns and Shostakovich for the chance to be soloist with Opus Chamber Orchestra later in the year.

Fri 07 Aug 2009 Cost: $5 on entry Time: 7pm Where: Gallagher Concert Chamber, WEL Academy of Performing Arts, University of Waikato Campus Side by Side - Hamilton Chorale and Cantamus Mens Choir Two Hamilton choirs combine to present two variety concerts featuring side by side music.

Momento lakes

OPEN MIC NIGHTS Every thursday 5pm – 8ish

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come & support our local talent!

8th August, 4pm at Central Baptist Church and 2pm 9th August at St Clare’s Church, Dinsdale.

Sat 08 Aug 2009 - Sun 09 Aug 2009 Cost: $15 and $10 Time: 4pm 8th August; 2pm 9th August Where: Hamilton Central Baptist Church , 33 Charlemont Street The Prime Numbers, Wilberforces, Project Massive The Prime Numbers (Indie Grunge) from Hamilton, Wilberforces (Indie Rock) from Auckland and Project Massive (Acoustic Electronica) from Hamilton for only $5 Fri 31 Jul 2009 Cost: $5 Time: Starts 9pm Where: Ward Lane, 19 Ward St Shakespeare As You Like It!!

Hamilton Civic Choir presents a celebration of the 400th anniversary of the publication of Shakespeare’s sonnets.

Sat 05 Sep 2009 - Sun 06 Sep 2009 Cost: $31-36 Time: 8 pm Sat 5 Sept & 2.30 pm Sun 6 Sept Where: WEL Trust Academy of Performing Arts, University of Waikato, Knighton Road

Corona Buckets

4 corona’s $20 all day everyday

Gentlefolk of the wide Waikato!

We desire your BUSTED pictures! It is rather easy! Simply email your pictures to busted@nexusmag.co.nz , or PXT to 021 235 8436. Show us your face! Shame your friends! Or you can (perhaps) take some Busted pictures for us! Email editor@ nexusmag.co.nz for details!