issue 2 by Nexus Magazine

O Week 2006

ISSUE 2 路 MARCH 6 2006

Party Review 06 Get your party in Nexus! Are you having a party? Will there be excessive drinking? Lots of nudity?

(Not including those guys who ran around the lake)

Give us a text on 0274279319 and we shall let everyone know how much it sucked/went off. We’ll take pictures and put them in Nexus too.

The Party Review Guys

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

14 Contents Editorial

15 Do you like the plans for Incredulor’s super giant robot?

Please write a statement with your answer as to why you like or dislike the plans.

News - O Week - Fluoride - Census - Short shorts Lettuce I’ve got 5 on it O Week Pictures Campus Characters Gig Guide WSU Columns Split Decision Notices Poetree Confessions of a List Maker The Spinster’s Cat Storytime with the Wez Uncle Jim’s Kiddy Page Comics Classic Rock Review Boganology 101 Films Rialto Check Citric DVDs Restaurants Books Ace of Clubs: Aeisic

Incredulor rocks my face! His plans are gnarly. I want a ride when he’s finished building it! I think the robot is dumb! I will now prepare for my assassination by Incredulor’s Awesomely Automated Robot Minions (A.R.R.M) I do believe he has left out some things! Allow me to draw my additions on to the plans... write your statement here

Gidday Goodnight Nurse Busted 6

It was very late at night when I did this and I’ve drunken too much soft drink - Matt

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

16 Credits?

Editor Dawn Tuffery nexus@waikato.ac.nz

Interim News Ed Josh Drummond news@nexus-npl.co.nz

Design & Layout Matt Scheurich graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz

Advertising Tony Arkell

021 176 6180 admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz

Contributors:

WSU J. S. Campion Uncle Jim Boulanger Hoof Matt Skullbeast Dileepa Fonseka Estella Hung Sam Gover Gary Oliver Kat + Sam Phil Gilbert Michael Robinson Danielle Thomson Sophie Porter Wez C.J. and Macca Leigh McGeady Joe Citizen Kazuma Namioka Brie Jesson Simone De Jong Hannah Yen Josh Drummond Vitamin C & Special K Burton C. Bogan + Boganette

The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus Publications 2003 Ltd, any of our advertisers, WSU or APN. Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

17 Editorial Porn for Inmates? The Waikato Times caught my attention last Monday. A, it was free, and B, there was a good scandalous headline on the front: ‘Inmates Revel In R-Rated Movies’! Apparently the prisoners are not just watching these movies but ‘gorging themselves’. Gosh. Oh, hang on, maybe they were just watching them. And those at Waikeria Prison might not even be getting to do that, actually. But they did watch Kill Bill 2! Overall, the story suggests ‘slightly overblown space filler’ but raises an interesting issue. Should prisoners be allowed to watch porn? I wonder if permission to do so would be affected by their behaviour? Do really good prisoners get to watch the hardcore 6-way super porn with accessories, whereas the really bad prisoners get ‘Love Actually’? At first, I thought, hell, give em their porn. Everyone else gets to watch it if they want, provided it’s in the comfort of their own homes and maturity. According to the Times article , the Corrections Department said in 2002 that the inmates mainly watched R-rated films for ‘escapism’. Duh. Of course it’s escapism. Sexual fantasy is the most intense and powerful form of escapism around, hence the seething underbelly of debauchery in…well, everywhere. Except Nexus, of course. Escapism is all well and good to a degree, but it ends in tears when it’s an excuse not to be sympathetic in real life. Pornography is probably the most objectifying situation you can place people in, male and female. The fuel of most porn is exploitation, using an individual to satisfy a selfish craving. There is no acknowledgement of the person’s basic humanity or the joys of connecting with them, because that’s not why people watch it. Tune in, turn on, jack off. Go watch a nice drama if you want emotions. This selfishness and lack of empathy are accepted aspects of pornography and, given the huge demand for it, obviously fill a societal void. Trouble is, they’re also accepted aspects of psychopathy. Given that we don’t tend to throw away keys and chop off heads round here, we apparently do consider most prisoners capable of redemption. Watching porn isn’t going to help that rehabilitation process along. The only arguable positive would be that it diverts that aggressive energy into a form where nobody gets hurt – this time. But who knows how it affects future attitudes and behaviours? It’s a bit of a ‘will video games make my kid shoot people?’ argument. But at the same time, it’s a privilege to be able to go out and get some x-rated action to enjoy with the missus if that floats your waka. It’s not a privilege prisoners necessarily deserve and it’s not one that’s likely to help them become compassionate and balanced individuals in the future. Interim News Ed: Damn straight. Why should prisoners get to watch porn when I can’t? Ed: Quit playing arcade games and eating pizza and do some work, slackass.

Do you agree?

Nexus: The Census Issue Issue 2 · 6 March 2006 ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

Yes No Enough of the Census crap!

news Prez says O Week is O’right Joshua Drummond

O Week ’06 went off last week, says Student Union President Sehai Orgad. “So far, so fucken’ good,” Sehai said. “People are saying that it’s the best O week the Uni’s seen for a long time. It just went so well.” Attendances at WSU-organised events both at the Banks and the Hilly has been high, with students crowding events such as the Student Olympics on Thursday, and free gigs given by crowd favourite band D-Dub and DJ Lotus on Monday. Students have also been showing up for events at the Hillcrest Tavern in droves. “My favourite time was on Monday when there was heaps of people down [at the banks], meeting people, saying hello, and giving away free stuff,” said Sehai. “It was great to get the bands out there, like D-dub and the DJs. People were getting really excited.” Sehai says that the high attendance and student participation at student organised events points to a change in student culture at Waikato, which has previously been described as “apathetic.” “People are changing their attitudes towards the union and the activities we’re putting on. I’m really excited about the new executive and how passionate they are about student representation.” Highlight of the week? “Oh, my God. It would have to be introducing Kora at their gig. It was fantastic. All those people there were just so pumped and into it, and when I announced them everyone just went crazy – they were just like “yeee-ah!” See the rest of the page for O Week photos.

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

ISSUE 2 路 MARCH 6 2006

Macabre group suicide trend takes Japanese youth by storm Estella Hung Committing suicide in the company of like-minded people is demonstrating of the ugly flipside of Japanese innovation.

Ooh, Look! Concrete!

Japan is still the second largest economy in the world even after a several recessive years and its youth are still bringing home academic grades with a consistency that trumps Western standards.

Chazam D. Max

Returning students have probably noticed that the ‘Banks’ area by the Student Union Building has undergone a major revamp over the summer. Trees have been torn up, paving stones have been laid, and the Stage area has been shifted from its old location to the opposite end of the Banks. The works began in late 2005 and were more or less finished by – and in some parts, during – O’Week. They are just one of the new developments planned and in progress for the University that derive from 2005’s University “Vision” statement. Other improvements to the campus include a large extension to ‘S’ block and a planned Events Centre for students. Students were mostly positive about the new developments, with most saying it improved the Banks area over the mostly “grass and trees” look from last year. But one student, who declined to be named, said that the loss of trees by the Oranga building was “tragic.” “I just can’t believe they’d kill living things in order to put up a lot of concrete pavers,” she said. “It’s inhuman. Just think of the ducks. Where will they nest?”

But clearly not everyone is happy with this outward display of perfection. The trend for collective suicides – victims are mostly teens and people in their 20s and 30s – has been greatly exacerbated by booming internet access. Some 91 youths committed suicide together after a cyber meeting last year, up from 55 in 2004. Suicide chat rooms and paperback “how to” manuals are reportedly growing in popularity.

Maybe the uni should get one Estella Hung Like a less conspicuous form of hair-loss, around the age of 20 people begin losing their acute sensitivity to high-pitched noises (like those emitted by bats). Thanks to one individual in the UK, bored teenagers loitering outside his shop and driving customers away may be a thing of the past. His invention is a gadget – the Sonic Teenager Deterrent or the “Mosquito” – that emits a high-sounding frequency of 80-decibel pulses that sound like “demented insects”. “The beauty of it is that the noise does not have to be loud, just pitched at the right level which affects teenagers”, says its inventor/ shop owner, Howard Stapleton. “We didn’t have any complaints from the other customers and it causes no physical damage. The 20-year-old mark is not absolute but 90 per cent of people under 20 can hear it and 90 per cent of people over 30 cannot,” he says. Sure enough schools, police and bus stations, and even the tube are forming queues to get at the “teen repeller.”

Fast Indian beats Jake the Muss at box office Josh Drummond Roger Donaldson’s feel good flick The World’s Fastest Indian, is set to topple Once Were Warriors at the Kiwi box office. The current figure for The World’s Fastest Indian, stands at NZ$6,649,049, just shy of Once Were Warriors total of NZ$6,673,129. Becker Entertainment’s NZ distributor, John Hart, says “this result is such proof that audiences crave a story which is pure entertainment - no massive special effects were required to attract huge crowds to this production”. Indian, for those that live under rocks or just don’t get out that much, stars Anthony “Hannibal” Hopkins as one Bert Munro, kiwi motorcycle aficionado, who set a world record at the Bonneville Salt Flats on his Indian motorcycle. The record has never been broken. Producer Gary Hannam remarks “As the Indian begins its international releases, we urge our 740,000 New Zealand fans to spread the word to friends and family overseas”. The film is now showing in U.S.A. and Canada, with the U.K. kicking off on March 10, and most European territories following. Australia releases the film April 6. Director Roger Donaldson honoured Kiwi fans, saying “good on you New Zealand for supporting a film about a true Kiwi hero”. 10

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

Census Consensus? Joshua Drummond

Come Tuesday, 7 March 2006 New Zealand will get censored. Or is that censused? Suffice it to say that, by law, everyone present in New Zealand on Census Day must take part in the Census. This means every individual fills out an Individual form, and every dwelling fills out a Dwelling form. Ah, those droll creative boffins at Statistics New Zealand! The Census has traditionally been free from most kinds of controversy and protest, long being recognised as a day of peacefully filling out boring forms. But some are protesting having to fill out the forms at all. The Waikato Times reported that a pensioner, one Waikato Noda, has reneged on plans to not fill out the census. His original complaint was that the census questions are too personal. “It’s none of their business how many cigarettes I smoke,” the Hamilton pensioner said. Statistics New Zealand said the reason for making the census compulsory were simple. “It is the only way we can be sure that information about the total population has been obtained and we have an accurate overview of New Zealand society every five years.” To complicate matters, this year a fastspreading e-mail message is urging people to state their ethnicity as “New Zealander,” rather than the official category of New Zealand European. The email reads “Maybe we can get the powers-that-be to sit up and recognise that

we are proud of who we are and that we want to be recognised as such, not divided into sub-categories and all treated as foreigners in our own country.” “Many of us however consider that we, and our families, have been in New Zealand for long enough now that we should be able to claim that as who we are ... regardless of where our ancestors may have come from many centuries ago.” One of the prominent proponents of people calling themselves “New Zealanders” is National MP Gerry Brownlee. He said that his party was not behind the emails. According to the New Zealand Herald, at the 2001 Census, nearly 78,000 people ignored all the stated options and wrote New Zealander or Kiwi, at least 3000 of them of Maori or Pacific Island descent. An Auckland University geographer and president of the Population Association, Ward Friesen, says that the email appears to be “a statement of independence from Europe or the mother country” He surmises that people may be avoiding or rejecting “the connection with colonialism - I guess the word European is problematic” - or “trying to pretend we’re all the same, but it’s unrealistic”. He adds that because New Zealander is a nationality and not an ethnicity, the campaign will “play havoc with the data.”

as their ethnicity may represent a legitimate trend. “If the New Zealand population suddenly feels they are New Zealanders, then there is a shift occurring which is really important. And if you are finding these people have really complex ancestries and backgrounds - like Maori, European and Pacific - they may think they have gone beyond thinking they belong to one ethnicity. “Then a social scientist, looking at what’s creating social disadvantage, may need to hunt beyond ethnicity because in New Zealand, ethnicity is the explanation for everything. You may find low levels of education are important, or living in a rural area.” The campaign seems more serious in nature than the one that has run in New Zealand and England in past years, where similar “viral,” emails persuaded readers to nominate themselves as members of the (fictional?) “Jedi,” religion. This tactic succeeded in England, where “Jedi Knight” joined such names as “Church of Free Love, Wiccan, Divine Lightmission, and Coleraine Christian Centre,” to become an officially recognised religion – at least on census forms. A spokesman for the Jedi Knights, who wished to remain anonymous, quoted “the force,” as the sole reason for his religion’s popularity. He added “I find your lack of faith disturbing,” whilst extending his hand and making strangling noises.

However, social scientist Paul Callister argues that more people listing “New Zealander”

McGillicuddy to Freeze Out Census The Laird McGillicuddy, Graeme Cairns, will next week reignite his flamboyant resistance to the Census by publicly subjecting himself to a chilly medical intervention that will render him legally dead for the duration of the 2006 head count. The freezing of the Laird’s body will be performed as a public spectacle at 11am next Tuesday, the 7th of March in Garden Place,

Hamilton. “Hellmilton will freeze over before I fill out their cheeky damned forms,” the Laird says.

procedure will be carried out by Australasia’s leading cryogenics scientist, Dr Zuben Weeds, dubbed “Dr Freeze” by the Aussie press.

“So I’m having myself frozen until the cold hand of the State can’t touch me. This time I’ll escape their clutches!” The public

Previous anti-Census stunts by the Laird McGillicuddy 1996: Hovered over Garden Place in a hot-air balloon, claiming to be out of New Zealand’s legal air space – SUCCESSFUL (i.e. did not have to fill out the form). 1986:

Became possessed by spirit of ancient ape creature, and claimed was no longer legally a person – UNSUCCESSFUL (i.e. had to, eventually, fill out form after two self-contested court cases). ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

Pamela Anderson Narrates ‘Graphic’ DVD In a marked break with the her more “well known” video fare, Pamela Anderson has sent a graphic DVD – which she narrates – showing what happens to chickens before they end up Kentucky Fried. Anderson is demanding that KFC eliminate its suppliers’ worst abuses of chickens – including breeding and drugging birds to grow so fast that they often become crippled under their own weight - and breaking birds’ bones as they are crudely gathered for slaughtering.

some knowledge of human anatomy, Anderson writes: “In light of current concerns over avian flu, it is up to corporations such as KFC to recognize the part they play in creating such crises. Experts the world over have pointed to factory-farming practices as one of the causes of avian flu.”

New Zealand-based Auckland Animal Action have found that chickens which are raised for KFC are bred and drugged to grow so large so quickly that many become crippled under their own weight. In addition, the birds are kept in severely cramped conditions, with up to 45,000 chickens per shed.”

This surprisingly sophisticated vocabulary, not seen in her previous videos, has led this reporter to speculate that some parts of her DVD may have been ghost-written.

Despite not being recognized as an authority on avian diseases, but professing

“Investigations by my friends at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and

In addition to Anderson, PETA’s campaign has received high-profile support from Sir Paul McCartney, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Something for Kate, Jet and the Black Eyed Peas, but seems to have attracted a minimum of attention from celebrity vets.

Water fluoridation goes to referendum Joshua Drummond

The issue of whether or not to continue adding fluoride to Hamilton’s water supply will be decided by a referendum on 13th May, 2006. Considerable controversy over the issue has been stirred up by groups opposed to fluoridation, which has been occurring in Hamilton since 1966. Hamilton mayor Michael Redman has slammed a suggestion from Waikato District Health Board chairman Michael Ludbrook that the Board would consider cutting health services to meet supposed increases in dental health treatment – as a “cynical threat.” The Waikato DHB is adamant that fluoridated drinking water is not only safe, but beneficial, and has spent over $5000 of its health promotion budget on a Hamiltonwide pamphlet drop to convince voters. But opponents of fluoridation, who include a Waikato University academic and a local dentist in their ranks, say the treated water is poisonous, dangerous, and should be banned. Concerns over fluoride from opposition groups in Hamilton range from doubt over its effectiveness in preventing tooth decay, to beliefs that it could be implicated in certain types of cancer and other diseases. The DHB says that “a huge amount” of research had been carried out on the effects of fluoridation, and that “scientific evidence shows that fluoride in water at or around one part per million does not have any effect on health, other than reducing decay in teeth.” But Ted Ninnes, PhD, Senior Lecturer and Convenor of Sociology at Waikato University, said that least 800 peer reviewed published scientific studies now existed showing links between fluoride and health problems. “Water fluoridation should be stopped until such time as it has been proven that it is ethically justified, proven safe and is effective in improving oral health,” he said.” “It’s purely a health decision. I have to live with myself. Also I live in Hamilton 12

and I don’t want my children to be drinking fluoridated water if it’s going to harm them.”

voting.

Conversely, Waikato Medical Officer of Health Dr Felicity Dumble said that the Health Ministry had “weighed up all the evidence available.”

Friction at Council meeting

“Obviously the Ministry of Health and Waikato District Health Board would alter our stance if there was anything to suggest fluoride was unsafe or didn’t work,” she said. The DHB warned in a February 2nd press release that funding might be pulled from other health services if fluoride is removed. “There are no easy answers to funding or providing these services … the Board will have to look at shifting resources from current health services and putting them into the dental services.” Dr Kruger, a Cambridge-based dentist with offices in Hamilton and Matamata who described himself as a “bit of an upstart,” said that sodium fluoride, most commonly used to fluoridate water, was extremely toxic. He said 200mg of the substance could kill a young child. “No disease has been linked to fluoride deficiency. Humans can have perfectly good teeth without fluoride. I’ve yet to see any evidence that it actually works,” he said. A spokesman for the Waikato Dental Association, Steven Pawley, called Dr Kruger “anti everything,” and said he was “out on a limb by himself.” He added that Colgate sold toothpaste that contained 5000 times the amount of fluoride as drinking water. Meanwhile, the debate has shown no signs of relenting, as Hamilton approaches the polls. Both sides are urging the public to learn as much about fluoridation as possible before ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

The Council meeting that decided to add the fluoride question to that of whether Hamilton should move to the Single Transferable Voting (STV) system was dogged by verbal attacks and a “physical confrontation” Steven Pawley apparently “grabbed the jacket,” of Councillor Roger Hennebry, and “spun him around,” during a heated debate. Dr Pawley was later escorted from the debating chamber by Chief executive Tony Marryatt. The DHB warned in a February 2nd press release that funding might be pulled from other health services if fluoride is removed from Hamilton’s drinking water.

Non-ironic Coolness comes to Hamilton Josh Drummond

Hamilton is finally being given a hefty dose of coolness, in the slightly unusual form of a museum exhibit.

anniversary.

The “New Cool” exhibition, which is on display at the Waikato Museum from 18 February, is a free showcase of 12 young, entrepreneurial New Zealand companies which includes the likes of clothing company Huffer Ltd and games developer Sidhe Interactive.

“They approached us last year some photos and a business profile. It’s excellent exposure for the business, and it’s good to see local businesses getting their names out there.”

The museum has added some exclusively local flavour to the event by featuring Hamilton’s own young business-persons in a companion exhibition dubbed “H-town Cool: Hamilton’s Young Entrepreneurs.” A range of businesses and enterprises are represented, all of which are based in or grew out of Hamilton. Gemma Osborne, owner and operator of Hamilton’s Madam Muck fashion outlet, said that the exhibition was a “fantastic opportunity for all the young self starters in Hamilton, people who really think outside the square.” Gemma’s mother Shirley also praised the entrepreneurial spirit. “It’s amazing. It’s been done absolutely from scratch, with no handouts. It’s lucky she’s not in it for the money – she’s just been following her passion and her dream.” Rocket Coffee Roasters, co-founded by Glen Woodcock and Waikato Uni alumni Glen Crompton, recently celebrated its tenth

Glen Woodcock also praised the idea behind the exhibition.

“The New Cool business stories are all about big ideas and very small beginnings,” said the museum’s Concept Leader, Leafa Wilson. “They have experienced the hard years, the timely successes and the challenge of combining creativity with commerce. They are driven by the simple satisfaction of waking up each day and loving what they do.” Those checking out the New Cool will have a range of activities to choose from. Visitors can play demo versions of games from Sidhe Interactive, listen to music CDs by kiwi label LOOP, watch footage from the Sticky Pictures TV series, and even craft their own t-shirt designs. Computer stations have been set up throughout the exhibit, enabling visitors to access the New Cool website (www.dowse. org.nz) and view information on how to create business enterprises using their own creative ideas. The New Cool site is currently offering visitors opportunities to sign up for seminars with local business luminaries. Mayor Michael Redman will

be present, as will representatives from many of the companies whose work is on display. The “New Cool Super Charger Workshop,” focussed on “super charging your business,” was also open for registration. “This exhibition is great for the development and understanding of the creative industries in New Zealand,” said Michele Schoenberger-Orgad of the University of Waikato’s Management School. “I am sure our students will benefit from the experiences of attending the open day, the exhibition and the seminars on offer.” Nexus sent our very own Uncle Jim to check out the exhibit. Here’s his take… The place had a nice modern feel, very aesthetically pleasing to the eyes. It was very good, in a number of nice ways. Sort of that nice super minimalist sexy look. Oh yeah. Well focussed on young people, it had those sexy chairs and stuff. There are also other good exhibits on at present. One is about top-dressing. Sadly, this only means planes that spray farms with stuff. All up, it was very good.

Council “Recognyzes” Youth Contribution Dileepa Fonseka Sick of hearing how the ‘yoof of today’ are the cause of all of the world’s problems? Nominations are now open for the 2006 Recognyz ’06 Youth Awards. “Recognyz ‘06” is an event that will recognise and formally acknowledge the positive contribution that young people, aged 13-24, make to the Hamilton community. Young people are active participants in the community in a number of positive ways. The aim of the awards is to combat negative publicity that has focused on the anti-social behaviours of young people. There are awards available for youth groups, people who have overcome adversity, volunteers, young people who have made outstanding achievements in the music/culture/arts arenas, and for youth who have supported their families through difficult circumstances. The Hamilton City Youth Council encourages young and old alike, to nominate anybody they think is deserving of being ‘recognyzed’. Nomination forms are available at public libraries and community centres in the city. At the University forms are available at the student union office, and at Wintec they’re available at both the Avalon and City campus libraries. Alternatively nomination forms can be downloaded from http://www.hamiltonyouthcouncil.co.nz. Nominations close on the 31st March 2006. The awards will be held on Saturday 29th April at the WEL Academy of Performing Arts. The awards are being sponsored by The EDGE 97.8, University of Waikato, Trust Waikato, Waikato District Health Board, Social Services Waikato, Waikato Times, and the Hamilton Youth Council. ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

O Week Hooray It is my fourth semester here, but I never stop feeling excited when the orientation week starts. I like the crowds, from whose eyes I see the happiness and the longing for a new life and a new start as I do. I like the music which is so great that I can feel my heart is beating together with it. I like the activities, although I never participate in it. I am a little bit shy and timid, so I prefer to be an audience. Yeah, people who take part in the games are real heroes. They are brave guys who can take off all their clothes in front of all the public and run around the lake! Wow…it is a huge thing. As an international student, it never ever can happen on the campus in my country. Hooray, heroes! Oh yeah, I also enjoy the wall planner, student diary, free bus ticket…and lollies, chocolates… Anyway, it is a great time, a great place and with some great people. So it is also the right time and right place to meet some right people to make friends with. Qi Liu

Send us your letters! We want to hear from you! We want to hear your opinion, your views, your thoughts, bitching, moaning, groaning, all that stuff. In order for us to hear this, you’ll need to send it to us! Send all letters, whatever ilk they may be to nexus@waikato.ac.nz. If you want to send it via snail mail then address your letters to Nexus, Private Bag 3059, Hamilton. You can also just drop them in the Nexus box at the WSU reception.

Letters policy Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters pages — serious or otherwise. Letters should be no more than 250 words and received by 5pm on the Tuesday before publication. All letters will generally be printed so give it a bash, but the editor retains the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Bad spelling and grammar will not be corrected — proof it yourself or you’ll look dumb. Pseudonyms are acceptable but all letters must include your real name and contact details even if you don’t want them printed. We discourage the use of pseudonyms for serious letters. 14

Please go and make an appointment, I’m sure they can help with your phobia and delusions. To reassure you in the mean time, I would just like to let you know that there are many very attractive people in the queer community. This means that gay people do not need to find people with “dark, sexy smouldering looks” that are not interested in them. Finally I do not claim to know God’s personal opinion on homosexuality (unlike many other people), but the Oxford Dictionary defines ‘Natural’ as ‘of or according to or provided by nature, physically existing, innate, instinctive, normal, not miraculous or spiritual or artificial or conventional’. Most gay people will tell you their feelings are very much according to their own nature, they exist, and they are definitely innate and instinctive. ‘Normal’ is subjective, of course. I hope this helps, Megan Moffet GLBT Officer

Down with Homophobia

O Week Boo

Dear Editor,

Dear editor,

What’s up with the homophobia on campus? As an international student arriving in July last year I was dismayed over the religious fundamentalists ‘opposing’ homosexuality. First issue of Nexus 2006 and here we are again, whatever the intent of Ashleigh’s (obviously avoiding full/real name, not being proud enough about the statement to be held

Have to say, this O week seems to be pretty lacking in both decent headliners and local (as in Hamilton) acts this year. Sure, the Bomfunks are From Another Country and had a Hit (once, 5 years ago), but there are so many other cool bands we could have instead. I’m disappointed. And where are all the Htown acts? Having said that, I do like the free diary and stuff. And hey, maybe the Bomfunks will be fantastic, but I won’t be there to find out. Mark G.

Homosexuality – non-freaky

accountable) article ‘Freaky gayness’ it’s sad to see it in a University Newsletter. We should have moved on, I mean, perhaps Ashleigh would like to see gay people executed and persecuted like they were in Spain only 30 years ago under the Franco regime? The assassination of poet Federico Lorca by fascist police (he was shot in the back) was justified and backed up by the Catholic Church (who supported the Dictatorship); homosexuality is a sin, unnatural etc.

Dear Ashleigh Just to let you know that there are services at the University of Waikato for your fear of homosexual people. They are the Student Counselling Services provided free from the Student Services building behind the chapel. ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

I can see how New Zealanders, and Pakeha in particular (Ashleigh specifically), can be isolated from the horrors of prejudice, intolerance, fascism and racism when taken to a greater level. Even in a University, which is a forum were tolerance, human rights,

diversity and critical thinking should be fostered, promoted, embraced and practiced we see with frequency homophobic attitudes. It is time to move on, and don’t say that ‘University is a place to discuss things’; do we discuss if Blacks have a right to go to Uni? If Women are allowed to work or vote? When will we truly accept human beings as equal no matter color, sexuality, gender and religion (Milton Wainwright in writing ‘Exploding Moslems’; Is the assumption that Christian people are better or follow Jesus’ word? Think about the consequences, and think twice before writing. Wake up.) Hannes Lloret, MSocSci, Community Psych.

Thou Shalt Not Whinge I would like to direct the attention of the Catholics whinging about the latest episodes of South Park to a previous series. They appear so offended by the mockery of religious figures, yet where was the uproar over the mockery of the spokesmen of God? Where was the anger over the episode where the South Park priest was the only priest in the world who didn’t molest little boys? Oh, that’s right, this is a practice so prevalent within the Catholic Church, it has become acceptable. This indicates you allow your leaders to do wrong but when it gains public attention, you bury your heads in the sand. I suggest we add an 11th commandment - Thou shalt not prey on the innocence of youth. Yours faithfully Kurt Preston

Killing Time On Campus on last week’s letters And so another year has begun… great to see the number of letters rolling in at this early stage of the year, some of which deserve special mention. Matt: You have impeccable tastes in gaming; Puzzle Bobble oh yeah baby, that’s the good stuff *drool, dribble, pant*. With enough support, my cohorts and I intend on creating a new gamers’ club on campus in the near future. Mainly Xbox related, but many old favorites will be present and accounted for so watch this space.

Percival: Nexus can be used for much more than toilet paper. Above and beyond the aforementioned, and mind numbing alternative lecture material; it also doubles as a high fiber breakfast cereal, or a cheap clothing alternative. Depending on your bowel control, and personal hygiene standards; take satisfaction in knowing that either of these options will also see Nexus floating in a sewer near you… its just a matter of time. Harry: Condolences over your recent loss. It’s not all bad news though. I hypothesize that the helmet thief is in fact a beautiful yet insane woman; too shy to confront you, she has instead opted to steal your helmet. With the lavish hair contained therein she has built a Harry-like effigy to which she makes kinky,

cultural and sporting clubs, as well as what the WSU is up to. I must now end on a somewhat disheartening note; the first leg of the European club championship saw most of my favorite teams grabbing their ankles. Yes, ChelseaBarcelona(1-2), Bremen-Juventus(3-2), PSV-Lyon(0-1) all made for sad headlines in my books. For the unenlightened, I am of course talking soccer, and the European club championship is the perfect stage for international titans of football to prove their mettle before the 2006 World Cup kicks off later this year. This is of course, one last shameless plug for you to all get involved in one of many different sports clubs on campus; preferably soccer.

wild jungle love to every night. Keep your eyes open in class, chances are she’s stalking you too; you lucky bastard.

Gary Oliver

Ashleigh: My intelligence network informs me that you are a sad little man prone to delusions of grandeur. Seek therapy and coincidentally, a pageant-load of beauticians.

Sup Nexus, I decided to take things into my own hands. I am now the owner of an arcade cabinet housing a JAMMA unit rigged up for some NEO*GEO gaming (SamSho3). I can always take out the NEO*GEO unit and chuck on a compatible PCB that will fit in (I’m thinking Street Fighter 2 if I can get my hands on one for cheap) — I have vague knowledge as to what I can do with it. It needs some work in terms of the controllers (1P side is a bit bung and the fourth button isn’t hooked up... wtf) and I need to figure out how to change the dip switch settings (Google should know). Aside from that, I will probably chuck it on freeplay and yeah, fun a-plenty! Ultimately I’m thinking of taking out the boards and chucking in a PC complete with some emulation but it’s kinda not legal and I’m not really sure on the specifics anyway. Yeah for gamez! lol. Oh hey, there’s a pool table in the SUB building now. Better than nothing!

David: I like to think that I am a reasonably intelligent person capable of understanding all sides of an argument that is until I read part of the new PHIL150 text after viewing your letter. Armed with my new insight, all I have to say regarding the ‘Big Questions’, dentistry or philosophy is “….……….”. Looks like I need to sign up for B-Semester. Milton: Glad to see some people still have a social conscience. In answer to your question, I’d have to say you and David should arrange a meeting, for such conversation is beyond me. With a latté in hand, you guys can talk philosophy and religion long into the night. Be sure to wear open sandals, pants made entirely from hemp, and above all stop shaving and grow a beard. There are stereotypes to be upheld here.

Games update

Matt

All I was hoping to do this week is to remind everyone that now is a very good time start joining clubs and getting involved in activities outside of attending lectures and cramming for exams. Take a look at the links under “Student Life” on the universities homepage www.waikato. ac.nz to get info on up and coming events, ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

T I N O 5 T O G I’VE 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

t? Do you feel oriented ye ? far so s O week highlight or sc ed? ek, Best free stuff you’ve to be headlining O we nd ba g in ist ex y an se If you could choo who would it be? with O? Best word beginning Kirsty

Tackles) BST (Bachelor of Slide I just feel old 1. at Clubs Day The Unicol soccer stand 2. Beer . Foo Fighters. With Shihad Oh fuck.

3. 4. 5.

Sam

BMS (LLB) Yes 1. a party Alpha Delta Gamma tog 2. strips. wellyn’s. And whitening A $50 bar tab to Don Lle 3. Styx Orsome

4. 5.

Nupur Arts 1.

After the Olympics I do! Red Bull, it was great. back. We were so high on The ‘80s party at the Out And 5 movie passes. 11 pizzas and 24 beers.

2. 3.

Incubus Orgasm

4. 5.

Daniel S+M 1. 2.

3. 4. 5.

d really ints to No, I’m quite disoriente k on that guy’s face (po all over the place. The loo ht, nig last ff ff at stu Random stu and ch cou a BBQ and he was drawn out to win Nick) when he found out there to collect it. the Outback but wasn’t d free stuff! There hasn’t been any goo System of a Down Octagon

Josh

FTA (Forgot to ask) n yet though. w my way around Hamilto Yeah…yeah. I don’t kno 1. back Foam party at the the Out 2. 3. 4. 5.

Beer The Strokes Octopus ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

week 06 The pictures..

Taken by Dawn, Matt, Sam, Josh and Carl.

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Thursday - the WSU Waikato Olym-

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Foamy Ed

Pics by Dawn

Foamy Ed and Elemeno P at the Hilly on Thursday Look out for more O Week revelry pics next week.

Elemeno P

I have a really big...guitar.

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CAMPUS

CHARACTERS BY J. S. CAMPION

niversity, what can we say about it? How about this from Cold Chisel (the only authentic soundtrack for life’s experiences):

Well, ya get to see ‘em all comin’ through this place Every household name and forgotten face Every fucked up, low down, pin tucked, rewound Siliconed, pillsucker that has been ever found

Yes, you’ll meet all sorts at uni. A veritable cultural melting pot and a great learning ground for when the tossers end up in suits as your supervisor. Welcome to Profiler 101.

Debaters Convinced they’re right - in reality, they’re just up themselves. Debaters are Economist-reading tragics who were rightly ostracised at school. Prone to pontificate on tedious topics such as “That this Nation should be GM Free”. Of course, the real freedom is escaping them after eight minutes (with a bell at six) in their plummy privateschool accents. They relish swaying to their feet and pompously tipping their heads to propose a “point of information”.

Librar y Freaks Experts on bar codes and the Dewey decimal classification system, these bookworms are too nervous to hang out in the cafeteria so stalk potential love-interests in stairwells or creep up from behind while they’re sitting at computers. Watch out when essays are due - they’ll hunt down all the relevant books and hide or camouflage the ones they can’t borrow.

Drama Queens Flamboyant, cloying and pretentious, these folk won’t give you a part unless you sleep with them: Casting Couch anyone? Dubiously rename their society a “collective” to counter perceptions they’re cliquey and hierarchical, or else compensate by giving marginalised groups special slots. Asian actors, for example, might be allowed to improvise in the New Place Theatre on Wednesdays between 1 and 2pm, while the disabled hold court on weekends. Straight actors? No room for them.

Mature Age Students Scribble furiously in the front row as if it’ll make up for decades of lost time. Ask questions whose point seems only to make that painful lecture drag on still longer. Strongly disapprove of everyone else: young people may have been to school but the mature-ager has come from the school of hard knocks. Will regale tutorial groups with repeated 22

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

assertions of their “life experience” as they grind the same old axe repetitivly. This is the sign for everyone to talk loudly. Best pitied or ignored: let’s face it, who came to uni to befriend someone triple their age?

Activists If only saving the world was as easy as passing resolutions at dull

ones year after year. Still tortured by Shakespeare, still fine-tuning that essay on historiography ... still on anti-depressants and figuring out what the hell to do with themselves as they stumble shoeless and hopeless between lectures in a perpetual fog. Upon graduation, these dabblers drift into fast food or telemarketing - or even another degree: Law is welcoming of their supposed “research skills”. Education will train them and then force them on your children. Politics has real

meetings. So activists travel to spread the word - bus trips to Auckland and Wellington with a detour for bongs (but not deodorant) over East-Coast way - all paid for with your student fees. Back on campus, activists wear eternally angry faces and bang on about oppression. They take their lead from Nandor “Everything you do is political” Tanczos. For radical feminists, the “women’s space” is an oasis of reclaimed language - the one place on earth where words such as

career prospects with their pedigree of making their studies sound respectable and important. Remain a drain on taxpayers for the rest of their lives, thanks BA.

“slut” are empowering.

piss these borderline-delinquents like to keep things simple. The area outside the faculty building will often contain a whiff of urine and a splattering of spew - the results of last night’s piss-up. Females find the going heavy unless they become “one of the boys”, right down to wearing stubbies and thongs. The only place on campus where a grunt passes for good conversation.

Student Politicians Maybe she missed out on being a prefect at school. Maybe he craves a Rhodes Scholarship or prestigious grad job. Either way, these human hurricanes hit campus with something to prove. Usually seen juggling posters and a staple gun - drained but still smiling after a night of chalking their campaign logo everywhere (mixed with paint to ensure it doesn’t wash off in the rain). Plead desperately for votes in front of lecture-goers and charm (or bully) gullible first-years into wearing their T-shirts. Don’t.

Campus Power Couple An exponentially scary species of student politician. Jack had Jackie, Hillary has Bill, but neither comes close to matching this two-headed monster. Boyfriend and girlfriend appoint themselves to committees, manage each other’s election campaigns and stage fake “break-ups” to evade conflict-of-interest rules. Attract campaign helpers and sycophants who are happy to be used and abused so long as they can bask in the reflected glory.

Engineers/Science Buffs Boorish yobs who love their beer and ping-pong - and taking off on debauched weekend “ski” trips – from hitting the piste to hitting the

College Kids The path of privilege is pre-ordained - from private boarding school to corporate box in the NZRFU Members’ Stand. In between is a stint at uni to network with other people with hyphenated surnames, whilst appearing to have “mixed” with the community. Conformity’s the go here: polo shirts, boat shoes and bizarre sado-masochistic initiation practices. When the music stops, where do these toffs end up? Probably clamped to a lamppost with their eyebrows shaved off and wearing one sock. It’s tough to be toff. Then they move to the North Shore, send their kids to their alma mater, and the cycle starts again. Don’t even try to join their rat race: it’s a week by week charade.

The Sleazy Lecturer

Christians Jesus loves you and He’s stationed these pamphlet-bearing folk outside the library to prove it. But to achieve His aims, the campus Christian often resorts to serpent-like guile - inviting you to “free barbecues” or “movie nights” which quickly turn into happy-clappy, Bible-bashing sessions where everyone babbles in tongues. Tread cautiously – they profess purity but are secretly sex-mad - that’s why they’re all married by 21.

A burnt-out idealist who fed his porn addiction over summer while pretending to work on “research projects”. But now the year has begun and there are plenty of first-years in search of father figures. Watch the lecturer’s eyes flicker, scoping potential targets. May even bring in a camera, ostensibly to “videotape everyone’s tutorial presentation”. The chosen one will be lavished with double entendres in class and offers of extra coaching: “come up to my office” (preferably with the door locked), until the university catches on and sends the lecturer on “sabbatical”.

Arts Students Give campus a Groundhog Day feel: you keep running into the same ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

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Tuesday 7th March

Thursday 9th March

The Laird McGillicuddy, Graeme Cairns, will reignite his flamboyant resistance to the Census by publicly subjecting himself to a chilly medical intervention that will render him legally dead for the duration of the 2006 head count. Sounds like fun. See news pages for more details.

The widely-travelled international punk duo Sabot hit these shores for the third straight year in a row! March sees the pair hit both islands once again, playing pretty much all over the place.

McGillicuddy to freeze out Census

The freezing of the Laird’s body will take place in Garden Place, 11am. Ardijah and the Timeless Theatre Tour at Founders Theatre. Bringing you their hits over the last 20 years which features the dynamic vocals of Betty-Anne and the soulful tunes of the Ardijah players. Adults $46, concession $40, children $36; plus booking fee.

Wednesday 8th March

International Women’s Day Breakfast and guest speaker to celebrate International Women’s Day. Presented by the Zonta Club of Hamilton-Waikato, in conjunction with UNIFEM. 7-8 am at Café five 47, 529 Grey St, Ham East. Cost: $15 per person for breakfast (either berry pancakes or omelette, and a coffee/hot choc/tea/juice). You are welcome to make a donation on the day which will be sent on to UNIFEM New Zealand. Our guest speaker is Marie Clare Lepina, a very “International Woman”. Marie Clare was born in the Democratic Republic of Congo, has qualifications from the United Nations and the University of Waikato, and is currently working for Sharma. We look forward to hearing her views on the meaning of a Day to celebrate Women around the World. For more information: Please RSVP by Monday 6th March 2006 to hamiltonwaikato@zonta.org.nz

Andrew White Internationally acclaimed finger-style guitarist and singer-songwriter Andrew White is returning ‘home’ to New Zealand for an extensive national tour. He will be supported by fiddle-virtuoso Gillian Boucher from Cape Breton Island, Canada. With a unique sound difficult to impart, Andrew was inspired by folk guitar greats of his youth but adds an ‘X factor’ that comfortably displays his fretboard dexterity and inventiveness. A fantastic show, not to be missed! At Sohl Bar, Victoria Street, from 8pm. $15, door sales only.

SABOT

If you missed them both the last times - or caught them and want a second helping, be there at Sohl Bar on the 9th.

Fri 10th March

Minuit, live at Catalyst Electronic live act Minuit (min-wee) are releasing their new album The Guards Themselves Mon 20 Feb; are this month’s NZ Musician cover artist; and are getting hammered on C4 and JUICE with their new video for ‘Fuji’. But most importantly they’re coming here to play. See them at Catalyst on Friday, $15 on the door.

Sat 11th March A Low Hum

Connan & The Mockasins + Whipping Cats + Grand Prix + Don Julio and The Hispanic Mechanic Hamilton – March 11th – Ward lane $10, or $15 incl entry + 2 CDs + a magazine. Sweet.

A Weekend at Littleweed Festival of music, dance and theatre March 10-12. Works Rd Katikati A weekend of celebration and festivity. Soak up an atmosphere of this outdoor extravaganza of modern and classic theatre, dance and music. Kora * Sola Rosa * Brother Love & Vaimutu * Minuit * dDub * Batucada Sound Machine * Sharon Elisabeth * Luke Thompson * Slip of the Tongue Theatre Company ‘Much Ado about Nothing’ * Serious Muffin Ukulele Ensemble * Wai Taiko Drumming * Noh Theatre Company * Company Z Dance * Blackout Kru * The Komuso * Workshops- Brazilian Percussion, Weather Prediction, Dance, Environmental Issues * ‘A Midsummer’s Night Dream’ performance* There’s also a bar, foodstalls, movie café, market, and free camping. Sounds like fun. Separate passes for Friday, Saturday and Sun are available ($25-45) and a student pass for the whole weekend is $65. ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

‘Honestly one of the nicest festivals you’ll go to this year.’ – Minuit.co.nz

Relay for Life Saturday 11 March 12 noon to Sunday, 12 March 12 noon. Teams of 10 to 15 people will take turns walking or running laps around Porritt Stadium to raise funds for research and support services for local people affected by cancer. Do some running/walking, or just go along and support. At Porrit Stadium on Crosby Rd. www.relayforlife.org.nz

Women’s Lifestyle Expo 11 + 12 March. This one ooks like a nice excuse for a girly trip out. The Women’s Lifestyle Expo has a variety of stuff available, including the chance to check out new lingerie and sample the latest perfumes, food and drinks.. Every adult visitor to the Expo receives a free Welcome Bag (while stocks last). There’ll be stalls on clothing, fitness, shoes, coffee, finance, and paint stripping, among other things. Visit the web site at www.expos.co.nz. The expo is happening at the Waikato Events Centre, daily from 10am to 5pm. Entry is $8, under 12 years free. Group bookings discounted.

WIN Go to the Women’s Lifestyle Expo for free! Nexus has 10 double passes to give away. Just email nexus@waikato.ac.nz (subject – ‘expo competition’) and tell us who your favourite woman is and why.

Mon 13th The original line-up of Dinorsaur Jr hits Shadows Bar - in Auks on the 13th March. Your BFM Card will get you a discount.

Art Exhibition Len Lin

New Gallery, The First Exhibition: Time, Space and Memory; 21 February --- 18 March @ The Len Lin Gallery. For more information visit 7 Collingwood Street. Thanks to Htown.co.nz, hamiltonevents.co.nz, Kat and Arts Waikato for the info this week. If you want to publicise your event, send details to nexus@waikato.ac.nz.

wsu: waikato students’ union www.wsu.org.nz

/ Phone: 856-9139 / Email: wsu@waikato.ac.nz / Or visit WSU Reception in the Student Union Building

WSU is your union. It has a democratically elected Executive, and general meetings where you can help make policy. It provides services and facilities of value and importance to all students. For those who object to WSU membership on conscientious grounds, your levy (yes, you still pay it) can go to charity. If there was no WSU, or organised student movement, your tuition fees would rise even faster than they do, which could cost you more than the levy you pay to WSU. And your rights as a student would be steadily eroded. This alone is worth your levy, even if you don’t use the services directly. But there is much more. WSU provides representation for students at all levels in the University, and elected class reps add to this. We stand up for the rights of students, and promote their interests. Via our membership of the New Zealand University Students’ Association (NZUSA - its levy is ~$5/EFT member/year), we campaign for changes in government policy to benefit all students - lower fees, higher quality education, and so on. And we will be more effective if more students get involved - ask us how. WSU is also an advocate for students. If you have a problem with lecturers or the administration, we can help. We also deal with Study Link (WINZ) and other organisations on behalf of students. We pay an additional levy ($2/EFTm/yr) to belong to USNZ (University Sports New 26

Zealand), which runs national games each year, most notably Easter Tournament. We provide Campus Movies (in L1) during term-time. We are the only student union in NZ with a student-owned cinema projection facility on campus. It has regular screenings of recently released movies plus the occasional film festival, and tickets are cheaper than in town. Check out: http://campus-movies.waikato.ac.nz We own Nexus Publications 2003 Limited, which produces the WSU Student Diary, the Wall Planner, the Orientation magazine, and, during term, the weekly newspaper Nexus. Contact nexus@waikato.ac.nz We also own 50% of Campus Services Limited (CSL), which controls the Uni Rec Centre, the campus pool, and most of the food outlets on campus. You pay a separate levy for this, as you do to the Students’ Campus Building Fund (we provide half the members of the Trust). These will help fund SUB extensions. Student Job Search (between the banks) is a vital WSU service, provided to you free of charge. WSU provides services for affiliated clubs and societies, including cash grants for administration and capital costs. There is a very wide range of clubs from dance, theatre, and music, to ethnic, religious, and political. ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

Scholarships, grants, and loans. We give the annual John Houston Memorial Scholarship for academic-and-cultural contributions. Contact scholarships@waikato. ac.nz. We have a small fund to provide financial assistance via loans or grants for students whose continued attendance at University is threatened by unusual or severe financial hardship - contact the WSU office. Student space. We provide quiet spaces to escape from the hectic pace of campus life: the Clubs’ and Societies and Askew Rooms in the SUB, and the Women’s and Mature Students’ Rooms in the Cowshed. Free telephone. Students can use this in the Student Union Building during normal hours (WSU Reception). Other services. Discounted rugby tickets (WSU reception). Rowing competition between the UoW and an English University (Cambridge and Oxford take turns), organised by CSL. The Battle of Bombays - a traditional sports competition between UoW and Auckland University, jointly hosted by WSU and CSL. Orientation. We have an O’Week festival in both Semesters. This is a great chance to see top bands and live performers, to engage in a wide range of social/cultural activities, and to meet the WSU Executive.

president’s column

Sehai Orgad

How are we all doing? I hope O Week has rubbed off well on all students who participated in the events as well as those who decided to just kick back and watch the festivities from afar. In retrospect, I feel that this year’s O Week has definitely introduced and enhanced the sense of a student culture and vibrancy to this campus, one which you can now all expect to be consistent throughout the year ahead. The 2006 executive has already started the process of project planning the events and action days that they would like to see happen on campus, in order to provide an experience for all of our students that is unique and provides for a variety of students’ interests. In order for the WSU to improve and to move forward with a new focus on student culture and experience, changes need to happen. As 2pac said “Let’s change the way we eat, let’s change the way we live, and let’s change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn’t working, so it’s on us to do what we’ve gotta do, to survive.” One of the key changes that we are working towards this year is regarding the relationships that WSU has not only with our constituents, but also with our various stakeholders – most importantly the University as a whole. In the past, the relationships between the WSU and the University management establishment an “us versus them” discourse. This did not work for either party. This year, we are looking for a “win-win” situation. Now it is up to us to do what we have to do to survive as a professional student organisation which continues to provide services and support for our students overall. Over the past two months that I have been in office, I have had the chance to meet and start a working relationship with the university’s executive management team. The importance of WSU consultation and collaboration with the University at this level is vital in order to enhance not only the student experience at Waikato, but also to improve and enhance the services that both of our organisations can deliver for the benefit of all students. So to finish off, let me just say………………..WAIKATO WHAAAAAT!!!!!!!

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WSU - Open Student Meeting OSM on Wednesday, 8th March at the WSU Village Green (by the Banks) at 1pm. This is a policy-making meeting open to all students. There is a free BBQ too, which starts at 12.30pm.

Agenda: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

Members Present Apologies Settlement of matters with the Liquidator of Nexus Publications Limited (In Liquidation) Election of WSU rep on Student Campus Building Fund Trust University’s Urban Design building programme. NZUSA: Report on January Conference Education policy - criteria for funding unis are to change; Abating student loans WSU’s strategic plan: Services, marketing, assets, income, VSM, etc. General Business

WSU EXEC 2006

Students are also welcome to attend the Uni Council Meeting in the Council Room (B Block) at 2pm.

PRESIDENT

VICE-PRESIDENT

DISABILITIES OFFICER

INTERNATIONAL OFFICER

MATURE STUDENTS OFFICER

CAMPAIGNS OFFICER

Sehai Orgad

Carl Gordon

Jeff Hawks

Sonja Gruebmeyer

Vince Malcolm-Buchanan

Jade & Joseph

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vice-president

women’s rights officer Kim

Carl

Student money for student buildings The Student Union Building, which houses the Waikato Students’ Union (WSU), the Nexus offices, the International Centre, Campus Services Ltd (half owned by WSU), the Campus Pharmacy, and Campus Copy, was built with student money which was saved up over many years. The money is administered by a Trust. Full-time students pay $24 a year to the Student Campus Building Fund Trust, and, after recently paying off the loan for the present SUB, it now has about $500,000 in the kitty. This grows at about $250,000 a year. The Trust comprises half student reps, and half Uni admin reps. It usually meets once or twice a year, and a new student rep is required for it, to be elected at the WSU Open Student Meeting (OSM) on Wed, 8 March – yes, there’s a free BBQ at 12.30 to entice you to attend. If you’re keen, put your hand up at the OSM – well, get a friend to nominate you. This year the Trust may have to make a decision about whether to begin plans for expanding the present Student Union Building, or whether to commit its income for the next 10-12 years to help fund an expansion of the shops by the WSU Village Green (by the Lake) to allow more shops and upstairs VIP accommodation (which is anything but the so-called Student Centre that the University is calling it). And if you think student money should only be spent on student buildings - real ones - come and say so at the OSM.

Tena koutou Waikato Uni 2006! First of all a huge welcome back from summer holidays! Hopefully like me you are all well rested, tanned, toned and have got all of your traveling and partying out of your system. I am 2006 Women’s Rights Officer and was 2005’s Tauranga Representative. My inspiration to make a difference in my role as WRO was solidified for me after a verbal altercation with a male friend. He disputed the validity of WRO’s and feminism in universities, now that women have liberation, voting rights and are getting educated (More women than men are enrolling in degrees and graduating, I might add). This is the most common misconception about feminism. The feminist movement happened in 3 waves. The first 1900s wave was concerned with suffrage, the radical feminism movement of the 1960s that is associated with the word today and the modern 3rd wave which is a more global, individualized and contemporary form of feminism. Domestically feminist movements fight for women’s rights and equality in pay equity, violence against women, student loan repayment time and the invisible glass ceiling women hit in hierarchical structures. As our university population becomes increasingly multi-cultural we must emphasize global issues such as education and literacy, family and health planning, human trafficking, prostitution, the environment etc. Feminism can be inclusive of males and a win/win situation. Men can be involved in the feminist movement by actively supporting their wives, partners, sisters, daughters, and friends. They can make a stand to show that they as individuals are not those stereotyped women-bashers or that company CEO who won’t put women in his hierarchy in case they get pregnant and need maternity leave. If you want to be involved in feminism, the best way is to get educated on women’s issues.

Events If you didn’t know it 8th of March is International Women’s Day and we will be having free tea, coffe and muffins in the Women’s Space behind the cowshed from 12pm – 2pm.

Medical insurance for international students Did you know that international students can choose an insurance provider different from the one endorsed by the University? The University gets a commission for each premium collected for its preferred insurer. But did you know that there are cheaper options which you can use? And if you think the University should provide international students with a lot more information on the available choices of medical insurance provider, come and say so at the OSM.

Thursdays In Black Thursdays In Black is happening March 30th. I will keep you posted about the events.

Mailing List I am creating a mailing list for all those who want to get involved and receive information on things that involve women, if you would like to join please email me at womens@wsu.org.nz

S OFFICER

EDUCATION OFFICER

GLBT OFFICER

ENVIRONMENTAL OFFICER

MAORI STUDENT OFFICER

WOMEN’S RIGHTS OFFICER

Joseph

Andrew Pritchard

Megan Moffet

Frank Stubbing

Renee Rewi

Kim Armstrong

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TAURANGA OFFICER

Anthony Mckenna 29

international officer Shifty Situations I just shifted houses again. For the seventh time. In eight months. This is roughly a shift every four weeks. While the first few ones were all quite bearable it started getting very annoying after a while. With this house, like all the others, I hope to have more luck. But ask me again in four weeks. However I am now quite experienced in Kiwi-flatting-situations and can say I’ve had 15 flatmates. Most of the reasons were things I could not influence like houses I lived in that were sold. Some stays were fixed term anyway but two times I moved out because I wanted to. So why is it interesting to write about someone’s history of flatting situations? Accommodation is scary. Houses look different here, maybe they don’t have the 5 jet bubble bathtub your parents bought you last birthday or maybe the stove has these really scary brown crusts or even worse: something is living in the fridge of your new flatmates. Don’t worry too much, take a deep breath and then tell someone else all your

Sonja

concerns with the new flat. Most of them are things that were different at your home and sentences will start with. “In my country we do it …” Yep, they do it different in my country as well. I am still convinced that double glass windows and proper floor insulation in houses should be law (especially when I think of the next winter). But it is not, unfortunately for all the people who freeze half of the year or spend all their money on the power bill. But that’s part of the experience. Accommodation differences are the main factor for unhappiness, besides general cultural misunderstandings and food availability. Since we spend a great deal in there we should feel comfortable, if we do not then we have to find out why. It helped me to tell people about my concerns and articulating them helps seeing them in relation to your real problems. Most of the times it’s about things you cannot change, like me and the insulation, if you can change it, like the kitchen cleaning plan – try to change it! Speak up, you are an equal part of the group. If you don’t dare, take a friend along. Don’t move out too soon.

“Nou te rourou, noku te rourou, ka ora ia te Iwi e.” Ko to tatou nei kaupapa ko te kotahitanga o nga akonga Maori o te Whare Wananga o Waikato.

speak of the week “Hello”

of the people to unite as one. The primary benefits of which are: the creation of effective support networks, and the ability to fulfil a common goal which benefits all. Accordingly, I invite all Maori students from within the seven schools of Waikato University to come together as one. As the MSO of WSU, I offer my services as a facilitator. Renee Rewi WSU MSO

A key element of Maori society is the ability 30

So, see you at the campus movies, in town or even attending a lecture? Well done, you’re a good kid, your parents will be proud of you.

Kia Ora

Kotahitanga

Kei a tatou mate, takoto, e moe, okioki. Otia te po, nau mai te ao.

If you get into trouble nonetheless – seek help, with us, the tenancy board, friends, whoever. The longer you wait the greater the mess. If you are not sure, ask. Come to the Culture Crisis Clinic to complain about bad insulation. I will be there to complain with you and afterwards we can make some more Kiwi friends. Accommodation will become less scary after a while – so don’t risk too much with aimlessly complaining, it’s waste of time. You could make friends instead who help you getting over the real problems.

Most problems can be solved and Scott Whitaker in the last Nexus had a few good tips how to survive the first acclimatisation round. Just note: be careful if money is

maori students’ officer Kei nga akonga Maori o nga kura e whitu o te Whare Wananga o Waikato, tena koutou.

involved! Most of the horror stories that circulate around campus revolve around money. Like the one with the guy who gave all his semester money to his homestay family to avoid bank costs and they spent it on a plasma TV. Student banking is practically for free – please don’t do that.

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

Kei te pehea koe “How are you” Kei te pai “I am fine” Ka nui te pai “I am great” Te mutunga ke mai o te pai “I am awesome”

mature students’ officer glbt officer Car Parks

Hey All,

It never quite ceases to amaze me how the University Car Park ‘fiasco’ repeatedly unfolds in such a haphazard ‘free-for-all’ manner during the first weeks of A Semester. After speaking with Tom, one of our more convivial and competent security patrol persons, I have resolved to make a plea in this week’s submission. Please, if you are able to commute by means of car-pooling (you can save money on petrol!) then by all means do so. Waikato University has the Ridewell Car System which allows vehicles containing 2 or more passengers’ exclusive utilisation of these car park spaces! All you need to do is obtain a FREE Ridewell Pass from Campus Security. Alternatively, Tom has mentioned that there are students he speaks with who drive to campus regardless of the fact that they live within reasonable walking distance! To all such students I can only ask that you consider the healthier alternative of a brisk 5min walk onto campus. Who knows, you could get to meet other like-minded individuals – maybe even find your long sought after ‘soul-partner’… Tip: Only use Ridewell Parks when accompanied! You might otherwise return to find your vehicle clamped!

Timetables On a slightly more academic curiosity! I am also amused by those many students asking about their timetables! One would hope by this point, it being the second week and all, that everyone has sourced their timetable and are busily becoming proficient in finding lectures, tutorials, labs and so forth. If not, the campus electronic timetable system is available to assist you with creating this. Simply proceed to the Waikato University Home Page (http://www.waikato.ac.nz) – go to Students – then to Class Timetable (under Useful Links for Students - Academic Information). At this site you’ll be given several options by which to access the necessary data you require Tip: Make sure you know all your Paper Codes or Course Names in order to expedite the process.

Queer Culture is just what it says it is - a culture. There are arts, traditions and a rich history with which to identify. Here is an overview of a particularly important lesbian historic figure:

Sappho One of the great Greek lyricists and few known female poets of the ancient world, Sappho was born some time between 630 and 612 BC. She was an aristocrat who married a prosperous merchant, and she had a daughter. Her wealth afforded her with the opportunity to live her life as she chose, and she chose to spend it studying the arts on the isle of Lesbos. In the seventh century BC, Lesbos was a cultural centre. Sappho spent most of her time on the island, though she also travelled widely throughout Greece. Her style was sensual and melodic; primarily songs of love, yearning, and reflection. Most commonly the target of her affections was female. That Sappho’s poetry was not condemned in her time for its homoerotic content (though it was disparaged by scholars in later centuries) suggests that perhaps love between women was not persecuted then as it has been in more recent times. Sappho has become so synonymous with woman-love that two of the most popular words to describe female homosexuality--lesbian and sapphic have derived from her. Given the fame that her work has enjoyed, it is somewhat surprising to learn that only one of Sappho’s poems is available in its entirety--all of the rest exist as fragments of her original work. Many translations of these fragments are available today, with each of these translations offering a different approach to her work. From ancient times to today, Sappho has remained an important literary and cultural figure. For a woman who has been dead for over two thousand years, this is quite an achievement.

“Some say...” (Sappho) Translated by Peter Saint-Andre Some say an army of horsemen or footmen or rowers

About Your Campus Lastly, from this week onwards you’ll be discovering a more modest pace on campus, what with the festivities of O Week concluded. Take some time out to familiarise yourself with your campus! Check out the libraries (yes, there is more than one!), the Gymnasium, the ‘ponds’ (which are quite conducive to outdoor lunches), the WEL Energy Trust - Academy of Performing Arts Complex, oh, and the rabbits! Let’s not forget the rabbits, there are heaps of them and they peaceably conduct

Is the most beautiful thing over the coal-black earth, But I say it is that thing, whatever it is, That one loves and desires. All easy it is to make this clear to anyone, For Helen, far surpassing all mortals in beauty, Leaving behind the best of all men,

themselves throughout the grassed areas on campus.

Departed, sailing for Troy --

Tip: Leave the rabbits alone! They’re well cared for and don’t harm students as such! Be forewarned… otherwise…

And not at all did she remember Parents, nor love of children, But passion directed her....

Have fun, be safe, and Kia ora!

Now my Anactoria too is gone, and I would rather see her supple walk

Vince Malcolm-Buchanan

And the bright sparkle of her face

Mature Students Representative

Than all the chariots of Lydia And foot-soldiers in arms. Hope you are all well, Megan ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

disabled students’ issues officer Greetings all, and a warm welcome to the new students. Some hints for getting through your time at University. The most important thing to know is that for the cheapest deal on campus for condoms, get along to the Health Centre as they can give you a script for some. The receptionist was a little bit obscure when I asked about international students though. The cowshed is where it all really happens in the Waikato. We have our dairy, Radio Contact, Mature students’ room, Hairdresser, Citizens Advice, the Silver Fern video - and all within a short walk of the WSU. If I was so prepared to provide all with some information on how the Government sees fit to medicate us as we casually consume water, but the fluoride referendum isn’t for a while yet, so time to chat about other more, or less, important things. As I sit here, I am graced with the sounds of D-Dub

wafting through the village green arena. I must say, I prefer the serenity of live music than the pounding of drums and bass, DJ styles. Don’t get me wrong, there is definitely a place for DJ action - more like within the confines of a club in the dead of night. More live music I say!

bouncer. Could there be some discrimination going on considering the open toe shoes women are allowed, with rolled up jeans? Is this trendsetter discrimination? Is it sexual favouritism? Because she looked so good wearing what she did, and he wasn’t attractive from the bouncer’s perspective?

Went to the Hilly last night, the last days, still not sure if that’s a good thing or bad. Time will tell.

O-Week has been going off. How fortunate that some of us are around to be hulking the boxes of Diaries and Wall-planners about, as the G’s-Unit Crew didn’t get the training in for artillery loading. But good work all the same.

Do I want to talk politics here? Perhaps, but not this week. Who had a blast for O-week? Give Nexus your feedback. Whoa! Just had someone come in to query the dress code for the Hilly?! There’s a dress code? Some trousers rolled into long shorts with sandals copped some grief from a

Anybody want to get a message to me? Do so by all means, we have the opportunity to voice stuff here, and I will help get the word out if you think it needs saying. Jeff disabilities@wsu.org.nz

tauranga rep

NZUG – uni games

Shortest article of the year (to date)

Wellington, 18-21 April - Team Waikato

Attention all you Tauranga students - there is going to be a University of Waikato ki Tauranga Sports Club meeting soon, so if you want to get the most of out of the Tauranga Campus experience, keep your eyes on the notice boards for the dates for the election of officers. It is important that we all get involved so that the club can continue to assist Tauranga Students. The club is set up to support and endorse activities that benefit the physical and social welfare of students at the University of Waikato ki Tauranga. If any of you Tauranga students are having problems give me a call (Ext 5301) and I will be happy to help, or pop into my office (room 1.19) and I will see if I can help you. Bye for now Anthony McKenna 32

Wellington is the city of Sevens & other great sporting events, but also famous for its culture. So why not add to the mix with some Waikato culture & sport by being in our Uni Games Team? Seriously though, there are 28 Sports – see the posters & sign up sheets at the WSU, Uni Rec Centre, Halls of Residence, from the CDO Phil Gilbert, or email unisport@waikato.ac.nz with your sport interest. Co managers Matangaro Paerau and Phil Gilbert are looking to finalise Team Waikato by the 28th of March. Registration forms for individual sports are now available from Phil Gilbert, L1 Student Union Building. It is expected that we will have some individual athletes in the Aquathon, Cross country, Golf, and Mountain Biking, however the team events such as Badminton, Basketball, Hockey, League, Soccer, Sports Climbing, Squash Ultimate Frisbee and Volleyball need to be fully represented too. Trials for Volleyball, Basketball and Touch will happen from the 6th March. The new sports that will add to the event are Beach Volleyball and Lawn Bowls. The Games bring all New Zealand Universities together and it is special to be involved and to represent your University. Team Waikato send off is set for April the 8th at the Don Llewellyn on campus. ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

sexy ex-y Name: Jeffery Hawkes

The seri-arse stuff

Position: Disabled Students’ Issues Programme of study: B Sci (tech) Resource and Environmental planning Favoured mode of transport: Flight Suburb lived in: Hamilton East Hobbies: music making, jesting, acting Favourite website: http://zapatopi.net/ themes/dactylfractalzoom.html Favourite TV programme: BBC Favourite sandwich filling: BLT Favourite snack: antipasto

In regards to your portfolio, what are you working on.. Today? Getting a working group together to facilitate discussion and mentor like stuff This term? See today This year? A broader awareness of WSU by the student body, in General How are you making sure you and the executive remain accountable to students? Last meeting moved to make Constitution available online, as well as next agendas and minutes.

Magazine of choice: New Scientist Fatal weakness: Short attention span What flavour do you go for first in a box of chocolates? Strawberry/white What CD is in your stereo right now? Nairobi Trio What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? Yuva, Bollywood Worst habit? Short attention span How much money would it take for you to run nude down Victoria St? Money? who needs it? Which of these do you prefer to pick – nose, ears or teeth? Depends whose they are What should Nexus contain more of? Local action, performing and static arts In 10 years, you will be: finished uni

What do you think is the most important issue facing the executive right now? O Week and getting through it most efficiently, with as few hiccups possible. How do you survive long executive meetings without jumping up on the table, foaming at the mouth and screaming ‘Just pass all the motions, damn you!’ and running off into the distance cackling freakishly? Or falling asleep? By being keenly interested in what is done, how and by whom. Now ask yourself a question, and answer it. Where should O-Week events be located? On Campus with a licensed area so we can have a more inclusive bunch of events, rather than people missing out because they are under 18, or don’t like pubs. O-Week being focused at 1st years is the result of a narrow marketing focus, everyone wants to have a good time in being both oriented and reoriented into the university lifestyle.

In 40 years you will be: living a retired lifestyle

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

split decision

Vitamin C and Special K

“The vaginal dialogues”

notices Send your notices to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

Well if you’re reading this, then chances are you’ve [insert O-week survival joke]. It could also mean that you’re in the final stages of Chlamydia Poisoning Death Syndrome, and you can’t get out of bed. Or you caught it off your lecturer and can’t show your face in class…slut. Just as an intro, this column is written by two people, one of whom may or may not be real. One person’s speech looks normal, the other is different, so you lazy people can all keep track of what’s happening. It’s pretty much a transcript of our drunken recordings. Or of the things you whisper in my ear after we make monkey love Yeah, that too. Except for this bit. We didn’t really say this much out loud, we’re just hanging around a computer. Hopefully this will show them that we know how to use a keyboard, and then we can do the CD Reviews And the Restaurant reviews and the wet toilet paper reviews… We really need to go somewhere with this… we need a controversial topic “Abortion” (that’s our flat mate. She speaks in krazy American speak) That’ll do “Are you two drinking already?” It helps the creative process I hope this confuses the crap out of everybody, this is goanna be the worst article in the world. I just spelt ‘gonna’ as ‘goanna’. Better fix that. Ummmm fuck… wasn’t this meant to go somewhere? Umm - O-week? This will (or probably won’t) be published after Oweek, and it’s only Tuesday. My eyes have been stinging all day from the goddamned foam. Talk about how great the Bomfunk MC concert was. Oh yeah. Our ps2 controller better make all the dancing girls go backwards and stuff. Why did we buy the tickets? Must be something better to spend $20 on

Flatmate wanted East Street, $100 pw incl. rent/power/phone, Small room ,Fully established flat, To live with two easygoing female students. Call Stacey 0274773291 Te Puna Tautoko Supporting Maori Students. Check out our website: www.waikato.ac.nz/tautoko UNI TOUCH TRIALS To select teams to represent Waikato at the NZ Uni Games in April 2006. Teams to be selected: Open Men’s, Open Mixed A, Open Mixed B, Social Mixed Trial Dates: Wednesday 8th March 5pm – 7pm: Open Men’s Thursday 9th March 5pm – 7pm: All Mixed teams Friday 10th March 5pm – 7pm: All Grades All trials will be held at the Uni fields below the pool Christian Swingers Club For married Christians interested in experimenting with their sexuality under God’s watchful eye and protection. Chartwell only. Email pants.lewis@gmail.com to experience God’s love in all its fullness. Talks on “Contraception : The Great Con?” 2-3 pm : “Safe Sex” education: ‘Things I wish I knew at school’ by Brendon Malone, Media & Education Manager, FLI. 3.05 – 4.15pm : ‘Contraception : What doctors don’t say coz they don’t really know yet’. Includes Informed consent & unethical Prescription by Dr Peter Scanlon, Accident & Medical Practitioner Date :18 March 2006, Saturday. Venue: L Blk, L3. GOD Vs Darwin Find out about Evolution and Creation Theory. Speaker: Mr. Richard Edwards. Date: 10 & 17 March 2006. Tine: 7:00pm. Venue: Lady Goodfellow Chapel (opposite Uni Rec Gym). Hosted by International Christian Fellowship. Contact: h_icf@yahoo.com

For novelty purposes, for story telling purposes, and because we were drunk and wound up in the WSU building on Monday. Our friend Andrew is the Education Officer. We have parties in his office…slumber parties and pillow fights! Our friend Andrews’ dad can beat up your dad. “[Unintelligible]” Did she just say flatulence? I think she said ‘goodbye roomies’. We should call everyone in the flat roomie. What did you think of Beerfest? That’s on Thursday, right? It was great, I can’t wait. I mean, it was lots of fun, and I hardly got vomited on by any 17 year old girls. I came out with less slash-wounds on my forearms than last year. I got vomited on, but that’s the price you pay for spiking someone’s drink Are we at some kind of word limit? Its 443….fuck I lost count. Stop typing. Maybe we should stop here. Good idea. Till next week, do stupid stuff and if we see you it might come up in conversation. 34

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

Do you like to sing in the shower? The Waikato Youth Choir is holding auditions on Saturday 11th and Sunday 12th March. We are a choral group for 16-30 year olds interested in developing music appreciation through singing, developing vocal technique and striving for excellence in choral performance. Practices are held Monday nights, 7.30pm-9.30pm. To arrange an audition please contact Julie Jackson-Gough on 07 838 4500 (wk) or Mark Jackman on 07 859 2295 (hm) or email: contact@youth-choir.wyma.co.nz

Theses and dissertations receive VIP treatment at Editwrite We offer an efficient, competitive and fully professional service for you. We will correct your spelling, punctuation and grammar and make your text fluent, clear and literate. Visit us at:

www.editwrite.co.nz “When you write wrong, we right the wrongs”

poetree

ISSUE 2 路 MARCH 6 2006

confessions of a the spinster’s cat list maker Danielle Thomson

Every time I login and watch my emails load for a brief second I’m excited. Forty-seven is big number and for a brief second I foolishly believe I have many friends. Of course those pipe dreams are quickly dashed. Forty-seven turns out to be just a large number of SPAM emails. With my hopes of being super-popular dashed, and feeling semi crushed I scan the subject lines for anything I may be interested in. Someone out there in SPAM-land either hopes I’m completely stupid, or they’re completely stupid. The bounty on offer varies from penis enlargements, degrees without homework, exams and classes, illegal prescriptions for fairly heavy drugs and the suspicious offering of super cheap stock shares for companies I’ve never heard. Reactions fluctuate from the ‘I’m not interested’ category to the ‘would’ve been useful before I started uni’ category and the ‘possibly handy if my at home business was a P lab’ one. Someone in SPAM-land has their fingers crossed that I’m an idiot. And most of the time they could be right, but I do have moments of pessimism and distrust. Perhaps if my only friends, the people in SPAM-land, would send me something I’m a little more interested in we’d have a deal. If the knock-off and apparently ‘well made’ items were a little more affordable I’d be in a better position to purchase. And if they stopped filling up my inbox with rubbish, perhaps the emails my other friends are trying to send would finally get through. I regularly wade through the onslaught of SPAM and delete them all, but just as quickly more appear. They breed. They multiply. They appear to be taking over. I don’t know where SPAM-land got my address from, and why I’m subjected to so many unless emails everyday but it’s now beyond a joke. I’m taking serious action. I’m sending back grumpy emails, with angry faces!! I’m saying ‘please’ at this stage and using my manners but am willing to drop the pleasantries for some action on the situation. I’ve written a detailed list of the culprits. “Zxcvbnm” is top of my list followed by “Yuiop”. Revenge will be mine, or hopefully someone else’s, which would save me a job. Failing someone else taking revenge, I have a back up plan reminiscent of the kids’ movie Honey I Shrunk the Kids. I’ll shrink myself down through means I’m yet to research and transport myself into cyberspace. I will hunt down Zxcvbnm and Yuiop and throttle them with my own two girly hands, while possibly shouting obscenities. Once done I’ll happily cross them off my list and start on the next SPAM happy Internet user. 36

Sophie

I like the anonymity that living in a big city brings. Nobody knows me here. No one cares. Once you get over the whole, lonely, ‘where am I’ type musings, it’s really quite refreshing. I can do what I want, be who I want. I’m not going to be noticed walking down the street. It opens a whole other dress up box of possibilities and wonderings. I don’t have people asking me where I’ve been, where I’m going, what I’m going to be doing there. It’s nice not having to answer to anyone. At first it was strange and I admit I did feel a bit lost, but I’m starting to like the whole ‘me on my own’ thing, and worry that I’m liking it too much. I’ll end up as the spinster with cats and I’ll be in love with my solitude. I’ll be wrinkled, and my voice will be cracked and husky from years of smoking and from not being used. I won’t talk to anyone unless I absolutely have to. I’ll have whole days, maybe weeks where I won’t utter a single word. That’s when it starts to really get scary. Will it end, or will I get so used to it, that it will become my way of life? The thing is, I don’t particularly want to be the lonely old spinster with cats. In reality, I think I want a family and a home filled with laughter and joy. I want to have a husband when I’m older, and he isn’t allowed to die first. I have this image of the elderly me, with my old husband, we’re sitting on the front porch in the afternoon sun, waiting for our children and grandchildren to arrive for Christmas. We have three kids, Izzy, Lexi, and Lawrence. And we have grandchildren, Stella, Michael, and James. I know it’s kind of bizarre, but it’s comforting to think I might not be all alone in my old age. Does anybody really want to be old and lonely? Seriously think about it. When you get old and decrepit, what else do you have but your family? A lot of people look down on women these days who just want to get married and have children. But what’s more important than family? I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I’m just kind of fumbling along. I do want to get married and have kids one day though. Does that mean I’m a bad person? I want to do something else as well, I just have no idea what yet. One day I’ll sort it out, I’m not that worried. I am worried about growing old and being lonely. Why does the spinster have cats anyway? Where did that come from?

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

storytime with the wez The Bazzinator – Part 2 In which the hero keeps climbin’ that mountain So I now had my second wind and was blazing up the trail. The body had given up trying to fall over and I almost skipped light headedly along with only two calm little rests for the rest of the way. Almost three hours after I began I finally emerged at the top of the mountain. There was no lookout – nothing but a burned out half rotted old trig station – obsolete with the advent of handheld Global Positioning Systems and Google Earth.

crouch and slap at mosquitoes until darkness engulfed the land and the stars came out. I stared at them for a bit and listened to the night calls of the moreporks. Getting slightly scared of the darkness and freaky ‘fully alone in the bush’ness, and cold from the wind that had sprang up, I cocooned myself into my hammock tent - for erroneously conceived safety. That’s when things got really bad.

I had found a piece of obsidian and with this Stone Age tool gouged my moniker THE WEZ into the side of the trig station to rest there with all the names of people who will probably never come back. I missioned out to the high rock which over looked the harbor and the valley on one side and the islands, sunset and open sea on the other. I used my Stone Age tool to open my Monteiths and while peeling back this malty beverage I revelled in the majesty of the vista. The healing had begun. I gazed out over the slopes and watched the native birds chase each other and shriek. I finished my beverage and tried to think deep and ponderous thoughts. The result of this was realizing that I had figured everything that needed figuring out long ago and knowing that, I had the power to figure out anything that came up. I turned to the book I had lugged up and tried to make the most of the dying light having purposely forgotten my flashlight so I could squeeze a little bit more roughing it into my hard man bush mish. I set up the hammock tent before the light fully died and then went back to the rock to

The wind picked up and began to howl through the mesh - freezing me. Rolling into a ball and being wrapped in the scratchy wool blankey did not help to warm me. Worse- the blankey was SO dusty and spore covered that my eyes stared to burn and I began a series of sometimes eight sneezes in a row. As well as brutal coughing. My throat began to really hurt so bad that when I sneezed it was like a small glass-filled grenade going off at the back of my throat. I started to dread the sneezes. I would hold my breath for long periods of time hoping to just black out and sink into unconsciousness. Merciful darkness would not embrace me. More coughing and sneezing. I shivered in tears-streaming breath-holding misery- forgetting entirely the purpose of the harden myself up bush mountain mission and wishing only for a shower and a soft warm bed. I was surely getting sicker by the moment and was getting a brutal cold that was going to leave me stuffed up, weak and head achy for days.

I had been in my hammock tent for only 15 minutes. It was pitch black and wasn’t going to be light for a long time yet. I crawled out of the hammock tent in the darkness, groped along the path and relived myself. I had stopped coughing and sneezing and now that I wasn’t lying down in a miserable ball I wasn’t cold. I thought I would creep along the path like an animal and crouch on the rock again. There like a half crazed wild man I would gaze down upon the humans a mile below in their comfortable warm man-dens and snort in animalistic derision. I decided to walk along no longer feeling my way- but instead sneaking in the dark like an wild beast, using only my powerful animal senses. I slipped down the rock that I was supposed to crouch pensively at the end of and for lack of better words Totally Ate Shit down the side of it. I screamed a little cowardly woman’s scream as I fell because I had seen the sharp stick filled abyss and knew that if I went fully over the bank I would be crawling back bleeding and screaming at best. Impaled and twitching at worst. How will the tale end? Tune in next week for the final exciting instalment... Contact the Wez: agentfestaskull@hotmail.com

I also desperately had to take a piss.

ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

ISSUE 2 路 MARCH 6 2006

classic rock review Hello and welcome to our humble tribute to the Gods of rock n’ roll. Each week we’re gonna write about one legendary classic rock band and their best album. So hopefully, by the end of the year, if you don’t usually listen to much rock then you’ll have a much wider knowledge

of something which we couldn’t live without. And if you’re already a fan of classic rock, you’ll know what we’re talking about. As a great man once said: “Rock n’ roll aint no pollution, rock n’ roll is just…rock n’ roll”.

AC/DC: Back in Black Reviewed by C.J. I’m writing about this one first because it is my favourite rock album, ever. Released way back in 1980 (before most people reading this were born, including me) Back in Black is one of the highest selling albums of all time, and is, by most accounts, the finest album produced by the boys from the land down under. AC/DC have many great albums from their 30 years of makin sweet music, but what sets this album apart is that all 10 songs are pure rock n’ roll heaven. Simple yet powerful drumming, driving rhythm guitar, thumping bass, Angus’s wailing solos, and the utterly unique gravel-throated scream of Brian Johnson. This combination makes every single song on this album frickin awesome to listen to, especially really loud in the car. My favourite tracks are ‘Hell’s Bells’ (a tribute to awesome former frontman Bon Scott who died, 6 months before Back in Black, from drowning in his own vomit after drinking too much), ‘Back in Black’ (possibly AC/DC’s greatest song), and ‘Rock n’ Roll Aint Noise Pollution’. This album is dirty, classy, profane, profound, clever, simple and many other adjectives all at the same time. Simply put, one of the greatest albums of all time, if not the greatest, from possibly the best rock band of all time. 9.5/10

Burton C. Bogan

Second verse….same as the first? Sung to tune of Brady Bunch: Here’s a story, by Burton & Boganette Who wrote a column for Nexus last year It was about Bogans Self indulgent This one’s even worse… Okay, so for those noobs out there - this column is about all things Bogan or Heavy Metal related. As the song above suggests (please don’t sue) this is the second season of Boganology. Just like the second season of TV shows there will be the usual sad attempts to grab ratings. There will be hopefully more giveaways (if I can track down Roadrunner’s email address again), cameos by famous people (or at least some bios) and probably sex in there somewhere (hopefully). The story line will probably be more developed but 40

ultimately you’re left nostalgically looking back at the previous season and wishing the writers had come up with something new (just kidding, just kidding). So hopefully it’ll be like the later seasons of Blackadder or South Park rather than the later seasons of The Simpsons or The Adult Ren & Stimpy. We’ll try not to go all surreal on you. So who are we? (told you it was self indulgent!) I (Burton…an alias by the way), am a Bogan. I am permanently stuck in the eighties, and yes I even have a bit of a mullet. But not the stylish ones that Outback people have when they pretend to rock out to AC/DC when secretly they long to sing Chingy or show tunes but a rough unkempt one like it’s sposed to be. My favourite band of all time is AC/DC. I’m doing my Masters in the Psychology of Heavy Metal (I call it my Master of Puppets). Boganette is foolishly in class at the moment but you’ll hear about her when she writes some. ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

So why write about (or study) Heavy Metal? Cos music, when you think about it, is such a big part of some people’s lives. It’s what you listen to in the car, when you’re walking to class (and sometimes while you’re in class), and is just generally in the background. And Metallers are a prime example of how much music can be a part of identity. Often (but not always) we want to show other people through wearing T shirts, piercing various parts of our body or just generally being hairy or weird looking. All because we like metal so much. But there is actually quite a lot involved in being a Bogan. Hence writing this column… and for even more than just one season…. hence RETURN OF THE BOGAN. By the way if you are a Bogan/Metaller/ Goth or just generally ‘alternative’ check out 6ft Under (More on 6ft Under next column) NZs only dedicated Heavy Metal bar. (On Victoria St next to Subway).

films The Constant Gardener Victoria Cinema Review by Joe Citizen

Pharmaceutical companies have always been the third member of the unholy trinity, along with arms and oil. This John Le Carre story kicks you in the teeth and leaves you for dead – I cried buckets and couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. I was asked what I thought of it when I stepped out into the light and my first thoughts were: “Fucking good.” Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz star in this explosive thriller as a career diplomat and his not so secret activist wife. When she’s found brutally murdered after asking too many questions about the British government’s involvement with fixed drug trials, he’s not expected to investigate further than what it appears to be. Grief and guilt motivate him however to scratch beneath the surface and what he finds is shocking. As a viewer I was hooked. There’s more brains than action but it’s

gripping none the less. This is a subversive film that blows the lid off old-fashioned notions of the foreign office. A drug company expects to profit from a predicted TB pandemic and wants to get its product out before its competitors – where better to test than Africa, where results can be bought and the high mortality rate hidden. The resulting stock market values and jobs for the boys are helped along by a little diplomacy, and every one at home is happy. Great acting and well-shot visuals complement the plot. This is no cut-rate cheapie, there’s a lot of budget up there on screen. The style is edgy without being dark, with the never still camera revealing the contrasts between rich and poor as gradual extensions of each other. The result is not graphic but realistic – white man drives in his air-conditioned comfort as black families trudge through the filth. The business of

rialto check Howdy Ho Neighbour! Hope your first week back at uni hasn’t been too harrowing. Believe me, it gets worse! Righto, today I am going to tell you a bit about a movie starting on 9th March called Proof. This movie is directed by John Madden, who also directed Captain Corelli’s Mandolin and Shakespeare in Love and who is bringing out a movie later this year called Killshot with Diane Lane and Mickey Rourke. Proof stars Sir Anthony Hopkins, Jake Gyllenhaal (both riding on the back of their successes in The World’s Fastest Indian and Brokeback Mountain respectively) Gwyneth Paltrow and Hope Davis.

All this doesn’t detract from the story, which insinuated itself inside my cortex with demonic glee. It’s not just believable, it’s downright scary. I’m not even going to think about bird flu as a result. Just go and see the movie.

Leigh McGeady

Proof is a thriller about matters of scholarship and the heart. Paltrow recreates her role from the Pulitzer Prize-winning play the film is based on. She plays 27-year-old Catherine whose father (Hopkins) is a brilliant but mentally disturbed mathematician and who has recently passed away. As Catherine prepares for his funeral, she also prepares herself to the fact that she may have an unexpected inheritance: his insanity. Catherine is able to adjust to her father’s death with the help of both her sister, who comes to settle her father’s affairs, and a former student and assistant of her father’s – Hal (Gyllenhaal), who turns up in the hope of finding lucid work among the late ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

a golf course is seen from the ridge of the railway line that separates it from the endless tin roofs of the shantytown. The value of life is different here, depending on who you are.

mathematician’s late-life scribblings. In coming to terms with her father’s genius which she has also inherited, she believes it may come at a painful price. She wants to be a great mathematician, but does not want to hurt or shame her father. She wants to be a loyal daughter, and yet stand alone as herself. She half-believes her older sister’s persuasive smothering. She half-believes Hal loves her only for herself. At the bottom, she only halfbelieves in herself. Looks to be a good’n! Don’t miss out.

Gig Guide O Week is over so how are you feeling? It’s hard to talk about the music that we had to deal with/attend this year because it is clearly not targeted towards people like me. Personally, I was pretty pissed off at the lineup as a few people are every year. Your compulsory student association fees paid for a one hit wonder band that had a hit back in 1999 to headline the nationwide tour and for this we can blame our own WSU. To me, it was a bit of a joke to have The Exponents who, shit, most students really don’t give a toss about, get paid God knows how much to play their hits from way back when. I prefer to listen to talented musicians that are in their prime right now, who work hard to be as good as they are, and who are inventive. New Zealand bands must be getting sick of the

way the country works in respect to getting exposure and landing gigs such as these. Is the reason we had Foamy Ed, and tedious Elemeno P due to organisers not knowing someone better existed? I’m sure I speak for all of you when I say it damn well does. So how do I feel? Thank God O week is over and let’s move on! Some good gigs coming up in March, some so good I’m saving them for a later Citric so here’s a taster. Local band This Night Creeps have their EP release coming up on the 10th of March at Ward Lane after their successful launch of their full studio album. They will be accompanied by The Vacants, The Wrongmen and The Shaky Hands.

The 11 March there is a gig up at Upsett Records on Victoria St with Peace Skank Inquiry, Fifth Threat (Auc), Dick Dynamite and the Doppelgängers, Pascadero Avenue & more to be confirmed. This is an all ages drug/alcohol free event. The original line-up of Dinorsaur Jr hits Shadows Bar up in Auks on the 13th March. Your bFM Card will get you a discount. You will probably feel stink if you don’t go. Keep your eyes on the approaching gigs from Sigor Ros, Dave Pajo, Womad and Calvin Johnston. Send your gig details and music news to us so we can tell the world on your behalf kat@contactfm.co.nz.

Deerhoof

The Strokes

Trifecta Records

RCA Records

Reviewed by Kat

Reviewed by Sam

It’s easy to say this album is for the noise-core enthusiasts. Hailing from San Francisco, Deerhoof are graduates of what has come to be known as ‘Spazz-pop’ - layered noise and furious guitar riffs accompanied by jazzy undertones, various tempo changes and a lot of corky. Japanese guitarist/vocalist Satomi Matsuzaki joined the band in 1996 and was said to make or break Deerhoof fans - I’m a breaker. Musically the album is striking and inventive, but the high pitched vocal assault can be cringe-worthy. She totally stresses me out and puts me in a bad mood. That said and done, I clearly prefer the more structured, somewhat playful nature of tracks on the album such as ‘Wrong Time Capsule,’ ‘Scream Team,’ and ‘You can see,’ where the band grate less against each other (maybe that makes me a nanna).

“I’ll hate them even more than I did before,” sings Julian Casablancas on ‘On The Other Side,’ succinctly summarizing my predictions for how I’d feel about this album. It’s not till halfway through opener ‘You Only Live Once’ that I find my foot tapping in time, and the bile I expected to be rising by this stage is non-existent.

The Runners Four

The album offers 20 tracks which span a vast number of styles that are ingeniously collaborative. My opinion may continually change about this band because I regularly go from being impressed to unsatisfied but at least it is different.

First Impressions of Earth

See, The Strokes have done something very cunning on this album. They’ve tried some new ideas. Admittedly they don’t always work (see ‘15 Minutes’) and much has been made of the definite need for some editing out of the weaker songs. But when these supposed saviours get it right, they’ve finally released some songs that at least pique my interest. Casablancas’ vocals are, as always, limited, and the band never stray too far from well worn paths, but fans will find everything they want from a Strokes record, with the bonus of some development in their sound. Am I a born again Strokes fan? No. Am I interested in seeing whether they can kick out the crutch their influences have been, and rather use them as a launching point? Sure, why not.

Kazuma Namioka

The Flaming Lips - V.O.I.D.

Crash

VOID is for Video Overview in Deceleration. It means the content of the DVD is just every music video that The Flaming Lips have released, from 92’s Frogs to Mr. Ambulance Driver released last year, and has extras like your flat has milk. A bit unexpected for a band that put so much effort into props and animal costume-clad dancers in its legendary Big Day Out show, as I consider these as the equivalent of a second disc of special features, but then I probably wouldn’t have had time to review them anyway. They can get away with a videos-only DVD because their videos are for the most part interesting and unseen, singer/ringleader Wayne Coyne’s imagination providing both the wonder of a child and the desires of a man. Which means Spongebob and pixellated breasts.

Engaging Magnolia-esque social commentary-driven human drama. The social commentary is mostly on racism. I mean, it’s all about it. In L.A. where the vibrant multicultural community only seems to lead to permanent conflict, multiple characters following seemingly separate destinies are brought together by a series of unfortunate events. And they are most unfortunate, there are like two happy occurrences in the entire movie, and Sandra Bullock falling down stairs doesn’t count this time.

I dig the music, production-pumped pop with loud drums. The videos have all been given descriptions on the inside of the case explaining each one’s little story pretty thoroughly, so if you space out then come to you can check which song you’re up to. Read the DVD case, that’s exactly what you’re going to get. If you’re new to The Lips, at least some of these videos should tickle your fancy, whether it is gluttonous Japanese girls or the insides of mouths. That band is so still stuck in the oral stage.

There are more than a few characters (and plenty of known actors), who are all manner of race and colour, and they all seemed to have the flaws associated with their race. There was the black man who steals cars while complaining about the racism surrounding blacks, the white man who hates blacks, and the bad Asian driver. The point of the film seemed to be that racism, though ugly and damnable, is founded on reality. I actually started off laughing, and maybe that was wrong, but the upside of films like this is previously offensive words lose their power when they’re overused, like the eternal champion of making sodomy mundane, the “bugger” ads. Whatever you get from it, it’s a well acted, brilliant film. Don’t avoid it because it’s a Christmas movie. Music was unsubtle, sometimes a bit much. I did learn at least one thing. Iranians are Persians, not Arabs, and while I assumed them to be the same sort of thing it turns out there is nothing more insulting than being confused as each other.

Le Zat Hazazel

What with new classes, and O week madness, who has the time or inclination to go out for dinner? What is important is knowing where on campus you can get decent food, especially if you have to be around after 3.30 or so, when the cafés close. After being in classes from 9am to 3pm, one feels like something a bit more substantial than snackmachine fare so highly processed it’s barely distinguishable from its wrapping. Bleck. So I wandered down to Oranga in search of real food. The pizza place was, sadly, closed, but Le Zat came to my rescue. Not only do they run the bbq outside

where you can get a tummy-filling (and very cheap!) sausage or steak sandwich, but inside they have a tasty array of chinese type food; cafe-style cake, rolls, and sandwiches; and a coffee machine! Le Zat is surely the only place on campus with such interesting coffee options as “Raspberry Mocha” - I was intrigued... and while I can’t say it was a life changing coffee experience, neither was it entirely unpleasant! Le Zat opened last year, and was heralded as a boon for those students in search of halal food on campus. I say any addition to the variety of food on campus is a boon to

all students! While the fried rice was a little greasy (plain rice would be better, and can be requested); the beef dish was rich, tender and just a little spicy; the lamb was quite good, and the vegetarian dish nicely varied. The coffee was unusual (go for a coke if you’re not into odd flavours), and the huge choc-and-almond-topped anzac biscuit was excellent. All that for $9.50... more than you’d spend in the snack machines, but not by much, and as I munched my biscuit in the sun, watching the ducks frolic on the lake, I decided that (like a raspberry mocha) Le Zat may not be a gourmand’s dream, but it makes a nice change from the ordinary!

books Puccini’s Ghosts by Morag Joss

Hodder & Stoughton, RRP $36.99 Reviewed by Brie Jessen This haunting novel tells the story of Lila’s fifteenth summer. Free from school, Lila’s summer looks unremarkable, with only her mother’s hysterics and frequent playing of Puccini’s Turandot to break the monotony of life in small town Burnhead, on the west coast of Scotland. Everything changes, however, when her Uncle George, a music teacher from London, arrives. Sensing that something needs to happen, he decides to stage an amateur production of Turandot, a difficult show even for experienced opera companies. Turandot is an opera of passion, love, death, and sacrifice, and as Lila is drawn into the production, she finds herself becoming lost somewhere between opera and life. This is the summer when Lila first sings, and first falls in love. Self-absorbed and longing for

escape, Lila barely notices the production for the chaos it is becoming, swept up in her plans for a future that cannot be. When Lila Du Cann the retired opera singer returns home to Burnhead to bury her father she is confronted again by the memories of that fateful summer. Relieving her memories she reveals to us the story of that summer in 1960, and the madness of Turandot. This novel is creatively and beautifully told, with amazing imagery which truly enables the reader to take part in the story. However I found that while, the story itself did draw me in and kept me reading, I did not actually enjoy the book. It was well written and an excellent read, but not an enjoyable one. I am not able to place my finger on exactly why it

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is that I did not enjoy about this book, I think perhaps it was a combination of the story itself, and the themes and issues dealt with; the unhappiness, longing and claustrophobic love of the Duncan family is something I am not familiar with and could not quite understand. I personally found this book difficult to relate to and a little too dark and grim for my taste. However, I am sure there are many who this book would appeal to, and who would be able to connect with it. It explores the relationships of this family with what can only be called insight, and gently exposes the characters for what and who they are. It is certainly not a light hearted book, but deals verily and deftly with a grimmer side of human nature. All in all, it is a good read, but an odd read.

This week:

AIESEC What is AIESEC? The AIESEC experience is an international platform for young people to discover and develop their potential. AIESEC is world’s largest student run organization existing in over a hundred countries, with 10.000 members. It is non political, non for profit, with its vision being ‘Peace and Fulfilment of Humankind’s Potential’. AIESEC teaches its members to challenge their world view, by participating in national and international

conferences, online learning networks, projects and the international exchange program. Members develop personal and professional skills such as leadership, public speaking, marketing, or finance by running the organization, and create their own personal network to take with them in their future. AIESECers choose their own career path in the organization to make it relevant for them. What you put in AIESEC is what

you get out of it!

rubbish collection and artisan families struggling to make a living. Here I am learning to be proactive, confident and use my initiative if I want to make a difference in the time I’m here.

poverty, religion, fate: I’m learning about humanity. It was ludicrous to think I could ever give India more than she could give me. To me she remains an incomprehensible country; she challenges, upsets and delights me everyday.

If you are interested in joining AIESEC Waikato and live the experience your self, then come to our info sessions for more information. We are recruiting members now! Don’t let the opportunity pass you by. The exchange programme provides four types of internships in the areas of Technical, Education, Development and Management. Find out more at www.aiesec.org.nz

My AIESEC experience in India Sarah What am I doing here?! I’m not really sure. I signed up for AIESEC at Waikato University, and there I was a few months later on a plane to India. I was going to save one of India’s villages, a kid from a privileged background, heading blissfully unaware into a land of poverty. I have been matched to the NGO JKSMS. My role is to help promote tourism in the small village of Samode, 42km north of Jaipur. It is a village representative of the extremes and contrasts of India: elegant waiters in crisp white shirts serve afternoon tea to tourists in the courtyard of an extravagant palace while the village spreading below it has open sewerage, no systemized

My AIESEC experience is teaching me so much more than I could have imagined. The AIESEC members are my support and my family in this country. And added to this there are currently 50 other trainees from all around the world in Jaipur. From many different countries and backgrounds with many different reasons and purposes we find each other here and bond as we journey through this adventure together. I’m learning not only about work ethics but of cultures, ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

What am I doing here? I am simply living. And through living, I’m learning. Each day I am forced to question who I am, what I value and how I can contribute to my local world, be it in India or in New Zealand.

Goodnight Nurse– Edging This Way Hannah Yen

EdgeFest is coming – 26th March at Mystery Creek. The extensive lineup includes

goals?

life.

POD, Thirsty Merc, The Living End, Savage, Goodnight Nurse, Mattafix, Elemeno P, P-Money and many more. There’s also the mighty Presidents Of The USA, who’ll be interviewed in Nexus next week.

J: Well one of our goals was getting our album out, which was exciting. We are aiming to head over to Australia some stage this year.

H: What is the coolest thing about Hamilton?

This week, Hannah Yen says Gidday to Goodnight Nurse.

J: it was a huge event, heaps of friends. We’ve played there the last two years

Some of you may know who Goodnight Nurse are but for those who don’t, here is a mini biography of them. The band originated in Auckland in 2002.

H: How would you define the word “success”?

In 2004 they did a New Zealand Schools Tour which was the largest tour done by one band in New Zealand. You will have heard ‘Loner’, ‘Taking Over’, ‘Going Away’ and ‘Our Song’ on the radio/ TV because they have all been great hits. You might be most familiar with ‘Our Song’; it reached number 15 in the official NZ music charts in November 2005. The band consists of 3 members - Joel Little (Lead Vocals/Guitar), Paul Taite (Bass/ Vocals) and Jaden Parkes (Drums/Vocals) I had the privilege of interviewing Joel last week: Hannah: Who are your musical influences? Joel: We like all bands associated with punk music. Bands like AAA, Bad Religion, Bouncing Souls, Goldfinger, Good Riddance, Green Day, Ignite Lagwagon, NOFX, and Pennywise. H: What are your immediate music career 46

H: How did you like X-air?

J: As long as you’re doing what you want to do and you’re happy. That would be success. It’s not making heaps of money.

J: We recorded our album in Hamilton. Another thing that’s cool is a lot of friends are there, e.g. 48 May. Hamilton is always a fun place to play. H: If you could have anyone in the world say goodnight to you, who would it be? J: I didn’t say ‘my girlfriend’ she would be angry at me, but… I would have to say that “Home and Away” girl. The blonde one that goes out with a guy with glasses. I don’t know her name.

H: And the word ‘music’? J: Something fun to do… It’s my favourite thing in the entire world

H: I don’t know her because I don’t watch Home and Away J: I don’t watch it either.

H: How was the decision made; that Goodnight Nurse would be the band name? J: We made heaps of stories which aren’t true. The real story is boring. We listed some names and picked the one which sounded the most interesting… H: Your lyrics have a lot about relationships, where did you get these ideas from? J: We always write songs that have happened to us, it’s important to write songs from personal experience. Heaps of people thought “Our song” was for a girlfriend but it was actually for my granddad. We write about things happening in the world, or things in ISSUE 2 · MARCH 6 2006

H: What do you think about the EdgeFest? J: It’s great fun. It’s going to be HUGE this year. H: Looking forward in seeing anyone at the edge fest? J: POD, Presidents of the USA, Elemeno P - heaps of cool bands and cool hip hop stuff… If you want to contact/listen to/know more about Goodnight Nurse, check out: http://www.myspace.com/goodnightnurse