issue 23

13 October 2008

The Nexus Awards

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Or IN LINE LatEr? Don’t wait ‘til everyone gets back from holiday to apply for your 2009 Student Allowance. Get ahead by applying online now.

If you think you’ll need a Loan you can arrange that now too. Then instead of waiting for money, you know it’ll be waiting for you.

HIN %&%'7

STY 0102 200x270 2

9/18/08 5:45:41 PM

You may have read our story last week about the thesis Waikato University abruptly pulled from

He refused to admit that Van Leeuwen was not notified before the withdrawal – “[the University

its library and online repository. If you didn’t, please go back and read it. For a student at Waikato

could have] sent him an email that he hadn’t picked up, sent him a letter he didn’t pick up,

University – or any tertiary institution in New Zealand – this is absolutely the most important story

phoned him and left a voicemail message he didn’t pick up, whatever,” as he said. Of course. I

we have run all year.

found Van Leeuwen easy to get hold of, but as far as the Uni is concerned, he clearly lives under

The situation is that Waikato University student Roel Van Leeuwen wrote a Master’s thesis about

a rock.

the neo-Nazi/Satanic writings of Kerry Bolton, who is – or was – a neo-Nazi, and a Satanist,

Sutton’s most telling comment by far was this: “The cause of the withdrawal is that criticisms

however he chooses to represent himself these days. It was published and put online, as per

of the thesis have been raised, and therefore the University, as it would under any similar

Waikato University’s policy, after it was assessed and granted full-class honours. Bolton found

circumstances, wishes to formally and fairly consider those questions. And it’s best to do that

out about it several months ago, possibly by Googling himself, and sent a number of complaints

without the thesis, being, as it was, fully publicly accessible.” (emphasis mine)

about the thesis’ content to the University and to Van Leeuwen. A couple of changes were made to the thesis as requested by Bolton. This was mildly peculiar in itself, but then the real

That is the worst kind of bullshit and the University knows it. If a defamation action is to proceed,

weirdness began.

it can easily do so on the fact that the thesis was already published and in the public domain

Around three weeks ago the University did a very bizarre thing. Without even the courtesy of

when Bolton hit upon it. (In fact, you can still easily view it if you want to. Last time I looked, the

telling Van Leeuwen, the University of Waikato secretly removed the thesis from the Internet

Google cache was still up and readable. Search for “Dreamers of the Dark” and it should come

and from the University Library. According to Van Leeuwen, the first person to tell him what had

up) Therefore, what’s the harm in having it up anyway? That more people might be able to view

happened was me. He was shocked. A little over a week later, after I had spoken to everyone I

it and debate it honestly and openly? That’s what academia is supposed to be about. There is no

could and been met with either silence or “no comments” from the University, the story broke

reason to hide it from the public at all, apart from the fact that the University of Waikato would

– first in Nexus, then in the national news media.

rather bow to the litigious whim of former National Front secretary Kerry Bolton rather than

Instead of being open and honest about why Van Leeuwen’s thesis was pulled, which would

bother defending its own student, academics, and published work.

have promptly defused the situation, the University administration has opted for spin. A follow

Here’s the situation. Either the University gave an A grade to and then published flawed,

up to our story in the Waikato Times has the University saying, through a PR spokesperson,

unethical research – which is Bolton’s claim – or the University is “temporarily” removing all

that they are “committed to academic freedom”and are “establishing a procedure” for Van

evidence of a perfectly good thesis, worthy of its grade, and ethically sound, without so much

Leeuwen’s thesis to be “evaluated.”

as telling the person who wrote it. Either way, the University looks awful. Be that as it may,

Not to be rude, but spare us the bullshit. Universities should have well-established procedures

the University should have had the guts to stand by Van Leeuwen’s work while the matter was

for dealing with issues of academic freedom; if they don’t, it’s only more proof of glaring

discussed. It did not. In an example of breathtaking cowardice, the Uni opted to try and keep

incompetence.

the whole debacle a secret. If nothing else, it is a terrible disservice to Van Leeuwen, his Masters

I spoke to Doug Sutton on Thursday, the day I wrote this, and asked what was being done, and

degree, his supervisors, and the external moderators of his work to be treated like this. The

why Van Leeuwen was not told about his thesis’ withdrawal. Sutton was evasive, to put it mildly.

whole business shames the University of Waikato, and for this it only has itself to thank.

Editor: Joshua Drummond (nexus@waikato.ac.nz)

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA)

Design: Talia Kingi (graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz)

Because, when we actually get a kick-ass news story, it gets published NZ-

Advertising: Tony Arkell (admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz/021 176 6180)

wide, which is awesome.

Assistant to the Editor: Grant Burns (news@nexus-npl.co.nz) Music Ed: Carl Watkins (toezee@gmail.com)

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS

Books Ed: Kelly Badman

PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, OR

Film Ed: Art Focker

ANYONE. DID I MENTION I LOVE THE CONTRIBUTORS? I LOVE THE CONTRIBUTORS! AND TO

Games Editor: Antony Parnell

ONE VERY SPECIAL PERSON I HAVE ONLY THIS TO SAY: SOCKS!

Interns: Courtney Mellor and Esta Coker WANT TO ADVERSTISE WITH NEXUS? Contributors

EMAIL nexus@waikato.ac.nz OR admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz OR call 07 838 4653 OR 021 176

Normally I’d dedicate my last editorial to this sort of thing, but I couldn’t. So here goes.

6180

Contributors: you know who you are, and this is for you (and you’re generally the only people who read this bit.) Anyone who has contributed to Nexus this year, thank you. Inexpressibly,

NEXUS IS LOCATED AT

thank you. You’re all utterly wonderful, and we all appreciate your contributions more than I can

Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road,

say. You make Nexus what it is, and I hope any of you around Uni will continue to help us out

Hamilton

next year. Cheers!

PHONE: 07 838 4653, FAX: 07 838 4588, EMAIL: nexus@waikato.ac.nz POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

3

Special Guest Edition by Kirill Seriously, will Kirill get laid this any time soon?

Definitely- With stunning good looks and sharp wit. It has to happen, it probably already did, at dDub. Too bad people think he’s gay, and so did the guy at dDub.

Does Kirill cry himself to sleep?

Absolutely- When you are as beautiful, smooch able as Kirill, it is hard not to cry yourself to sleep, especially when you sleep alone…cold…shivering…lonely…aroused… with naught but Nintendo DS Nintendogs for company.

Will this summer see more Hamilton droughts?

Yes- El Nino, Global warming, Wall St crisis and the National Party are all part of the plot to finally kill the cow industry in Hamilton.

Will the summer sun clear up my haemorrhoids?

No- Unfortunately only a knife, clamp, scissors or an angry dog can help with that. But science is yet to test whether UV rays help. Perhaps an experiment at the local playground or beach is in order.

Will the Legalize Cannabis Party finally win a seat in Parliament?

Maybe- The answer largely depends if the appropriate people remember to vote, and if snacks are provided at the booth.

Magic Eight Ball will you have my babies?

Outlook not so good- Although I may be a ball, I am missing some vital pieces for the baby making process.

Will Tim Allen make a new Santa Clause movie this year?

My sources say no- Even Hollywood has realized that this is a bad idea.

Now talking Santa Soccer Dog is a different story.

Is it too late to sex my way into passing my paper?

No- It is never too late to sex your way into an A+. In fact, it works even better during the actual exam marking period. So get practicing.

HELLO I AM CAPTIONBOT, THE ROBOT PROGRAMMED TO RESPOND ONLY TO THE MOST HUMOUROUS CAPTIONS

“Away we go bro – Mum won’t even know!”

HA. HO. HEE. HA. HA. HO. HAA. MY DIODES CRACKLE WITH MIRTH.

MANY OF YOU HAVE ASKED WHERE THE CAPTION COMP WENT. THE CAPTION COMP WENT ON A JOURNEY TO INDIA WHERE IT RECEIVED SPIRITUAL ENLIGTENMENT AND SEVERAL DANGEROUS BUT CURABLE STIs. IT IS MUCH BETTER NOW AND WISHES ME TO TELL YOU THAT IT WILL BE BACK NEXT YEAR BIGGER AND BETTER. THIS IS THE LAST ONE, SO JOIN ME IN HAPPINESS FOR LAST TIME’S WINNER

CONGRATULATIONS BRIAN P WALSH CAPTIONBOT LOVES YOU. COME UP TO THE NEXUS OFFICE TO COLLECT YOUR VOUCHER OF BURGERY FUEL GOODNESS. GOODBYE FOR THIS YEAR LOVE CAPTIONBOT AND ALL HIS FRIENDS

4

1.What do you think of the University pulling a student’s Masters Thesis without warning? How would you feel if it happened to you?

2. What do you think of politicians campaigning on campus?

3. How are your exams going?

4. When will/did you graduate?

5. Who is your favourite cartoon character?

1. I think it’s unfair. A thesis takes a lot of work.

2. If they’re going have politicians on campus, then they need to have one from every party.

3. I don’t have any.

4. End of this semester, studying BCS. 5. Stewie from Family Guy.

1. I’d be pretty gutted. Everyone has the right to freedom of thought.

2. I don’t really care. You get pretty pissed off when they’re in your face.

3. 4 exams, pretty average.

4. 2010, BoE 5. Mutley from Wacky Races.

1. That’s pretty shit. I’d be pretty angry.

2. It was funny that John Key talked about health education when Waikato doesn’t even have a medicine course.

3. Going all good – haven’t started studying yet.

4. 2012, LLB 5. Betty Bop

1. Clearly be upset.

2. Don’t care – they’re not going to sway my vote by prancing around.

3. They’re not.

4. When pigs fly.

5. Brain from Pinky and the Brain because he made “egad!” cool.

1. A bit unfairly treated because that’s a lot of work.

2. I’m not even interested.

3. I don’t have any.

4. 2010, BA and BT 5. Animanics

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Grand Final After four weeks of grueling competition (and for many, grueling mornings at work on Friday…) the 2008 Band Experiments is about to be decided with five bands leaving it all on the stage this Thursday night at Flow bar, in a bid to claim a juicy prize package including a DB Technologies PA System, 500 CD Pressings from Amstore, a single recorded at Dudley Studios in Hamilton and a slot at O-Week 2009. The full line up is still yet to be decided (with your help…) but here’s the story thus far…

Dick Dynamite and the Doppelgangers Having taken out the first heat in predictably emphatic style, Dick Dynamite and his Doppelgangers will be hard pressed to surpass such efforts as the ol’ doublebass-behind-the-head party trick. Will they defy gravity completely this time and fly around the room on their instruments like Bryan Adams in the early nineties video ‘Can’t Stop This Thing We’ve Started’? Probably not, but you can be assured that everything they do (during their 30 minute allocated set), they’ll do it for you…

TBA… not known at time of printage The winner of heat four may prove to be a dark horse in the grand finale, with some fairly new acts and unknown quantities having contested in this last heat. Yet again though, history has rewarded new faces in past band experiments.

Sora Shima

But wait! There’s more!!

Heat two was a close one, with Sora Shima edging out Damsels for first spot. Sora Shima don’t have a singer but this may prove to be an advantage in the ‘not ranting incessantly between songs’ category. Their instrumental wall of sound still however managed to captivate the audience and with two of the past three band experiments being won by shoe-gazers of their ilk, history is in Sora Shima’s favour.

The Converse Wild Card Draw

Radiator Another extremely tight contest split between two immensely proficient groups of musicians at opposite ends of the theological spectrum. Funk rockers Radiator nudged ahead of H-Town heavy metal stalwarts Blacktooth for top spot in heat three, with an extended

In some sense the ‘People’s Choice Award’, the wild card entry is a competition giving the runners up from each heat a shot at the fifth spot in the grand final. A voting poll with videos of the runners up from each heat is running on www.mammothguide. co.nz until Tuesday 14th of October 5pm, when the band with the most votes will be selected as the Wild Card Draw Winner. As well as giving the runner-up bands another bite at the cherry, voters can also have the chance to win a Converse prize pack, drawn at the final.

line-up incorporating funky synthesizers with trumpet stabs, highly agreeable with the audiences dancing shoes, despite reading out their Miranda rights of funk.

NEWS

October 13 2008

ISSUE 23

news@nexus-npl.co.nz

Thesis withdrawal: The University responds University response, paraphrased: We don’t know what we’re doing, and we’d really, really rather you hadn’t found out about it.

By Joshua Drummond After breaking the news last week that student Raul Van Leeuwen’s Master’s thesis

The thesis is subject to considerations. Criticisms have been made of it and the University

on the writings of Kerry Bolton, a one-time secretary of the National Front, Satanist

will consider those through its processes and form a view as to the accuracy or the

and prominent neo-Nazi, had been pulled from the University, Nexus was met with a

inaccuracy, the merit or the lack of merit of those criticisms.

deafening silence from the University about the allegations we had raised – particularly,

Asked what threats Kerry Bolton had made against the University to cause the thesis to

that the thesis had been pulled without telling Van Leeuwen or the thesis’ supervisor,

be withdrawn with such alacrity, Sutton said “I believe that Mr Bolton has indicated his

Professor Dov Bing.

willingness to take legal action against the University on the grounds of defamation.�

They did issue a press release, which we ignored, in favour of actually talking to someone.

Then the following conversation ensued.

Nexus managed to get hold of Deputy Vice-Chancellor Professor Doug Sutton for

Nexus: With regards to defamatory content, isn’t [that] the sort of thing that should have

comment on the matter.

been picked up when it was being marked [before it was published?]

“The University is undertaking thorough consideration of the issues that have been raised

Sutton: I’ll suppose we have to wait and see if there is in fact any defamatory content in

by a person who is concerned about the accuracy and so on of the thesis,� Sutton said.

the thesis before we’ll be able to decide if any defamatory content in the thesis should

Then the following conversation ensued:

have been picked up.

Nexus: Would that be Mr Bolton?

Nexus: I’m speaking hypothetically‌

Sutton: I believe that’s a matter of public record

Sutton (bluntly): I’m not.

Nexus: Yeah, it is, but I’m asking you.

Nexus asked again why Raul Van Leeuwen was not notified at the time that the thesis

Sutton: Yeah, so if I was you I’d go by the public record.

was being withdrawn. Sutton said “I’m not sure that he wasn’t.�

Asked why the University had withdrawn the thesis without telling Van Leeuwen, Sutton

Then the following conversation ensued:

answered “I believe he was told.� The following conversation ensued:

Nexus: He absolutely told me that he hadn’t been [notified prior to me contacting him.] I

Nexus: He was told by me. Raul told me I was the first person who had mentioned it to

first contacted him two days after I knew that the thesis had been withdrawn.

him.

Sutton: You have to understand that I have to allow for the University having sent him an

Sutton: I think you’ll find there is also communication from the university to him. I

email that he hadn’t picked up, sent him a letter he didn’t pick up, phoned him and left a

don’t know about the timing of your communication with him. Just on that matter,

voicemail message he didn’t pick up, whatever. Before I could even assume the University

the University of the withdrawal, and has also been advised that the withdrawal was

didn’t effectively communicate with him before the thesis was withdrawn I would have

temporary, and that the cause of the withdrawal is that criticisms of the thesis have been

to know the facts of the matter in very considerable detail. I’m just not able to respond to

raised, and therefore the University, as it would under any similar circumstances, wishes

the suggestion that you told him. I just can’t do that, I’m sorry.

to formally and fairly consider those questions. And it’s best to do that without the thesis,

Nexus also contacted New Zealand Union of Student Associations Presisdent Paul Falloon

being, as it was, fully publicly accessible.

for comment on the thesis’ withdrawal.

Asked if the University stand by its student and the thesis he wrote, Sutton said

“Universities are charged with being the critics and conscience of society, and students

“the University absolutely stands by its student.� Then the following conversation ensued.

should be trained in that tradition. It looks like this thesis is an example of that sort of

Nexus: And the thesis?

rigour, being that it was externally moderated,� Falloon said. “It’s disappointing that the University hasn’t involved the student or his supervisor in whatever process they’re following to investigate their subject’s concerns. The student should have been informed of it and been a part of the decision,� he added.

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Conchords swoop at Music Awards They should rename the awards to “NZ Music Most Noticed by Americans”

By Grant Burns Flight of the Conchords and Opshop were among the major winners at the 43rd annual Vodafone New Zealand Music Awards at the Vector Arena on Wednesday night. New Zealand music was the winner on the day with a formal event of suit-wearing musicians and local celebrities celebrating the best of 2008 – except for Scribe and his posse who were dressed in orange hoodies, orange shoes, and baseball caps.

The night was hosted by comedian Dai Henwood and begun with Tiki Taane and the Te Pou O Mangatawhiri Kapa Haka group performing ‘Tangaroa’.

Flight of the Conchords were nominated for three awards, but ended up taking home four: Nokia Album of the Year, Steinlager Pure Best Group, Breakthrough Artist, and the International Achievement Award which was presented by Helen Clarke and shared with Savage.

Opshop took home a trifecta of awards in one go for their single ‘One Day’ and album ‘Second Hand Planet’: Highest Selling Single, Highest Selling Album, and NZOA Radio Airplay Record of the Year.

Live acts from Shihad, Kora, Anika Moa, Cut Off Your Hands, and Scribe kept the audience entertained and in high spirits as the night moved smoothly through all the awards.

The Best Rock Album was presented by New Zealand music legend Dave Dobbyn and was won by Shihad for their 7th studio album ‘Beautiful Machine’.

Other winners included: Best Classical Album – Michael Houston, Best Christian Gospel Album – All Left Out, Best Maori Album – Ruia, Best

Dance/Electronic Album – Recloose, Best Aotearoa Roots Album – Tiki Taane, Best Music Video – The Brunettes, Best Urban Hip-hop Album – Scribe, Best Female Solo Artist – Anika Moa, People’s Choice Awrad – The Parachute Band, and Best Male Solo Artist – Liam Finn.

After all the main awards were given out, a slightly tipsy John Campbell took the stage to give his impression on the evolution of New Zealand Music and present the Legacy Award to 80’s Dunedin-based band ‘Straightjacket Fits’.

The night was rounded up by the incredibly stupid Dai Henwood who urged everyone in the arena to go and get “fucked up” after what was a successful 2008 Vodafone New Zealand Music Awards.

Blues Awards Awarded Vice-Chancellor proves he actually exists by handing out certificates, novelty cheques

By Grant Burns All Black Stephen Donald and Silver Fern Laura Langman were two of the major winners at the 2008 Waikato University Blues Awards held at the Academy of Performing Arts on Friday, October 3.

The ASB Sportsman of the Year was won by Stephen Donald, and the ASB Sportswomen of the Year (and also the Waikato Times Media Person of the Year) went to surf lifesaver Nikki Cox. Laura Langman was crowned with the Coca-Cola Fair Play Award.

The annual Blues awards have been running since 1971, recognising Waikato student’s achievements in sport and the arts. Stephen Donald who also plays for the Waikato Chiefs and NPC team and Laura Langman who also plays for the Waikato/Bay of Plenty Magic team are currently studying a Bachelor of Management studies at Waikato.

The Maori Person of the Year Award went to Tema Fenton-Coyne, a dancer and singer who is studying for a graduate diploma in Te Reo. Cellist Edward King won the Wallace Corporation Creative and Performing Arts Person of the Year Award. She currently is studying for a Bachelor of Music degree.

In total over 60 Waikato University students won awards. The event was described by Nexus Editor Joshua Drummond as having “excellent food and free booze.”

In other awards: Michael Winter won the Coca Cola Umpire of the Year Award; the CBD Premier Men’s hockey team won Team of the Year; the University Netball Club won the Waikato Student Union Club of the Year; and Ronald Wikaire won the Coca Cola Sports Coach of the Year.

9

Breasts, boobies, bazookas, norks, funbags, and bazongas Hooray for them

By Grant Burns

“I love my breasts day” saw a parade of semi-topless students through campus on Wednesday, with body-painted and bra-wearing models helping raise awareness of breast cancer.

“I was a bit gutted that there weren’t that many people on campus [for the parade] but everyone who was there was real supportive and there were some great designs,” said event organiser Joanne Bisset.

The event was organised by the WSU and was staged in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month (October). Over 60 people participated in the ‘Pink Parade’ which made its way around the campus before ending up in S Block for judging of the body painting and wearable bras.

Here are some facts which all women should know: 1 in 3 cancers occurring in New Zealand woman is breast cancer, over 600 women

Each design was explained on how in coincides with breast cancer awareness and shown off in front of a good crowd of students. Designs included pigs, flowers, drunken murals, and a man-corset. Some of the wearable bras were made of wire, feathers, and marshmallows.

I don’t know how, but I was entered in as one of the body painting models. Reluctant at first, I allowed my body to become art – all for the spirit of breast cancer awareness. (I entered you. Does that sound sexual? Woops – Ed)

die from breast cancer each year, Maori women have a 47.7 % higher morality rate than non-Maori.

Prizes were given for creativity, originality, best explanation, and “best overall.”

Netball Soccer Volleyball JILLIAN DOES NOT LIKE HIM CONSTANTLY RINGING HER Jillian’s phone calls could be sexual harassment which is unwelcome or offensive sexual behaviour that is repeated or significant enough to have a harmful effect on you.

It is unlawful when it occurs in employment, education, access to public places, vehicles and facilities, provision of goods and services and provision of land, housing and accommodation. It is also unlawful to promise preferential treatment in return for sexual favours in these areas or threaten harmful treatment because of their refusal.

The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other hassles you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge database to help answer anyone’s questions. Visit them at the Cowshed from 1pm – 3pm daily during semesters or phone 8384466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB. Sexual harassment may include: • Personally sexually offensive verbal comments • Sexual or smutty jokes • Repeated comments or teasing about someone’s alleged sexual activities or private life • Persistent, unwelcome social invitations, telephone calls or emails from workmates at work or at home • Following someone home from work • Offensive hand or body gestures • Physical contact – i.e: patting, pinching, touching or putting an arm around another person’s body – which is unwelcome • Provocative visual material – i.e: posters of a sexual nature • Hints or promises of preferential treatment in exchange for sex, or threats of differential treatment if sexual activity is not offered • Sexual assault and/or rape.

Sexual harassment is wrong. It is against the law and you are entitled to be treated fairly and with respect and you don’t have to put up with it.

For more information contact the Human Rights Commission Infoline on 0800 496 877 or www.hrc.co.nz

10

Indoor Social Sport STARTS SOON Register your team today League 5 Entries Close 30 October

FIRST GAME

2 November Soccer 4 November Volleyball 6 November Netball

www.socialsport.co.nz Enter online today! $150 per team for six weeks of sport

Hollow Men to screen at University Co-starring John Key!

By Grant Burns The WSU is showing a one-off screening of Alister Barry’s film adaption of Nicky Hager’s “The Hollow Men” in S. 1. 02 at 5pm on Thursday 16 October.

The film is about the leaked emails from the National Party which exposes Don Brash’s dirty tactics and slick dealings with Australian and American political strategists to win the 2005 election, and what he planned to do with New Zealand when in power.

The book was originally released the day after Don Brash stepped down as National leader on 23 November 2006. The book is credited as an “excellent piece of investigative journalism” which uncovers the deception of politics.

The documentary was very well-received by the audience and critics when it premiered on Monday 21 July at the Wellington Film Festival.

The film reignites the 2005 election saga of the Exclusive Brethren, leaked emails, and anti- Labour and Green pamphlets in a 100-minute documentary.

The film screens just two weeks after National leader John Key visited campus and Nexus encourages all readers to go along and watch this revealing account about the dark side of politics and the National Party.

What: Screening of “The Hollow Men” by Alister Barry When: Thursday 16 October at 5pm Where: S. 1. 02

Vote Bill and Ben or Die You will, one day, die anyway, so this threat is largely irrelevant

By Grant Burns On Wednesday a car covered with post-it notes rolled on to campus without the vaguest of warnings towing behind it: a sign saying “Vote for the Bill and Ben Party – putting the Party back in Political Party”.

Nexus caught up with Bill, Ben, and the Mascot to ask them what the hell they were doing on campus and why they were giving out bumper stickers which said “I heart cock.”

“Basically we’re um…for starters I just want to say this has got nothing at all to do with Pulp Sport, the new series which starts at 9:30pm on Friday 17th October. I just wanna get that out of the way from the outset and it is no way a publicity stunt for that,” says Ben, sporting a white jumpsuit, a helmet, and aviators.

So, we asked them what the Bill and Ben Party is all about.

“Well, we’ve kind of been running on no policies, no promises, no disappointments. Sort of like what the National Party is running,” says Bill.

Bill and Ben made Waikato University their first stop on a national wide political campaign (which has nothing to do with the new season of Pulp Sport). After our chat they took to the street handing out “I heart cock” stickers to every non-homophobic student that would take one.

New season of Pulp Sport starts at 9:30pm Friday 17 October on C4.

11

Vault Once were fluorescent warriors

By Grant Burns As darkness fell over the Waitemata Harbour on July 10 1985, two French agents secretly attached explosives to the New Zealand Greenpeace vessel The Rainbow Warrior resulting in the sinking of the ship, the death of photographer Fernando Pereira, and public outcries of terrorism.

The reason for the attack was to prevent the Rainbow Warrior from interfering in nuclear weapon tests at Moruroa Atoll – which is a part of French Polynesia

anything to do with the attack and joined the condemnation of a terrorist act. However, when it was found that French citizens were involved, French Defence Minister Charles Hernu resigned from his post.

After the two French agents responsible were caught, you’d think Greenpeace gave them their sentences. Dominique Prieur and Alain Mafart received 10 years in prison for manslaughter, yet both were released back to France after serving just two years.

France ended up paying $13 million in exchange for Dominique and

The Rainbow Warrior incident turned out to be a public relations soap opera. Because France is an ally of New Zealand, they initially denied

Alain – and they threatened to embargo New Zealand exports to the European Economic Community if they weren’t released.

Hori 440!

The incident of the Rainbow Warrior a.k.a. Operation Satanic remains as a dark scar on New Zealand’s reputation on the world stage. Not only did this act sink one of our famous icons, it showed the volatility of our national security and the unwillingness of the New Zealand government to act harshly against terrorists – at least, ones that come from France.

Should see students get naughty

By Grant Burns On the last day of the 2008 academic year, an enthusiastic group of students are going road tripping around the mighty Waikato in ‘Hori’ cars and vans, dressing in matching costumes and decorated cars – who says Waikato ain’t fun?

The Hori 440 is starting its inaugural year next Friday 17 October.

Students will drive exactly 440km around the Waikato with four compulsory stops in Tokoroa, Taupo, Rotorua, and Mt Maunganui finishes up back in Hamilton at Bar101 for the after party.

Nexus caught up with event organiser WSU Director Andrew James. “It’s going to be an epic adventure, definitely looking to make it an annual event. We pretty much wanted to do a well-organised Undy 500 without the rioting.”

“We have 10 -15 students already registered. The rules are: no breaking the law (i.e. drunk driving), no littering, all vehicles must stop at least four times, and all must attend the after party,” said Andrew.

Many prizes will be on offer for the event: Domino’s Best Dressed Award – includes lots of free pizza, ZM People’s Choice Award – includes CD’s, DVD’s, and alcohol, V Best Themed Vehicle – includes lots of V and merchandise.

The after party begins at Bar101 from 8pm onwards and includes free food, cheap drinks, and giveaways. Entry is free for all those who participate in the Hori440; $5 for everybody else.

Come support the lads as they leave off from Gate 10 car park at 9am Friday 17 October.

12

East Hamilton Police Burglary Report 29th September - 5th October 2008 Last week 6 burglaries occurred in the Hamilton East area. Their locations are shown on the map.

Again, it is excellent news to report that burglaries have gone down by seven, compared to the previous week’s total of 13. Let’s hope that this continues and we have a no-burglaries record.

How often does this happen to you and your flatmates? If this does, do you call 111 and ask for the police and tell them what happened. If you don’t than I ask you do, because these offenders need to be caught.

As you can see on the map the burglaries are scattered all over Hamilton East, so there’s no pattern by the offenders. I believe that

Remember Laptops and electronic equipment are hot items to be taken and offenders will do anything possible to obtain them. They will enter student flats via unlocked doors / windows or even jemmy them open to gain entry.

these burglaries are probably optimists that are either walking around or are just waiting for something to happen. It’s not just one person, but several that are committing these burglaries and getting away with it.

I spoke to a student on Old Farm Road who were a victim of a break-in.

She told me that while she was at home with two other flatmates during the day, they heard someone walk into their flat and leave again. She believes that they disturbed the offender, but she is very conscious about leaving the front door unlocked and windows open.

McCain lacks a defining moment Not the only thing McCain lacks…

Youth, charisma VP with a brain…

German doing well after first double arm transplant Ah, those dastardly Germans They’ve come a long way

No longer (h)armless Interest rates need to come down now, says Key But, John, you vote against Lowering interest on loans Remember? John?

Currency: Dollar under pressure after plunge

Information on how to protect your home is available from the East Hamilton Community Policing Centre on Clyde St. If you have any information that might help Police with these burglaries please call the University Constable, Nick Sickelmore - (07) 8582792 DDI Nicholas.Sickelmore@police.govt.nz

It’s bad when it’s up It’s bad when it’s down DAMN YOU WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US Credit crisis creating NZ ‘debt divide’ – survey NZ in debt divide funk The poor middle class Can’t buy enough junk

Want a great summer job where you get to work with fun people for a cause you really believe in?

In that case: Greenpeace needs you!

We’re looking for outgoing, confident Students with great communication skills to join our fundraising teams. You’ll be well-paid and have opportunities for travel and promotion.

Rates: $13.50 - $23/hr To apply call 0800 22 44 44 ext 857 13

Send letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz. Letter of the Week wins a $20 Bennett’s voucher! Incidentally, this is the last Lettuce of the year. Looking forward to the next one – keep reading!

Txts to the Editor!

Nexus now has a non-new TXT-in service! Send Letters to the Editor - via text - to 021 235 8436. They can be about anything – but if it’s something in the magazine, so much the better. We’ll print the best ones, so get texting! Texts should include a name to attribute them to.

Text of the week wins a mystery prize! (Oh yeah, and if you win? Come in and claim it at the office)

More Woodwork

Don’t forget: You can send Busted pictures in by pxt! Send us your best snaps of you or your mates in Busted-type situations to 021 235 8436.

Can you do it? Yes you can!

Interesting argument. Too bad it’s clearly written by a six-year-old.

Dear Editor, Dear students, I would like to address the Cullingworth letters, firstly I would like to say that I think you made a mistake in printing Justin’s name in the Nexus. I myself sit on the fence with this matter and can see grounds on both sides of the debate (there is always two sides). And yes he may have caused a stir with his initial letter but to single him out like that is inappropriate. I’m sure you (editor) can see in hindsight that it was a mistake with the extent of abuse directed at him. I think that he may have written that letter in a haze of anger, without actually thinking it through (the spelling mistakes are a dead give away, and not a result of bad NCEA English results). I personally know him and I can tell u he is not a “ignorant, inbred piece of shit,” a “fuckwit,” or a “douchebag” as stated by some of the people who replied. To judge a man so harshly on a email written in a haste like that is a bit below us Tertiary educated students, we should know a bit better. So I say before you decide to hunt poor Justin down and yell abuse, leave a bag of burning poo on his doorstep or worse, think, there is two sides to every story.

MC. I agree no-one deserves the tirade of abuse that got sent Collingworth’s way, no matter how misguided his views may have been. I was hoping that people would respond to his letter in a measured, decent way, but the whole thing seems to have proved that too many people are incapable of rising above the lowest common denominator – monkeylike shit-throwing. But I still think that people with views of any kind, particularly extreme ones, should have the guts to front up with their names in a public forum. If nothing else, it might help prevent Nexus from being completely inundated with misguided, anonymous ranting.

-Ed.

Im sick of stupid students whingeing about student debt and how hard it all is and boohoo. I feel sorry for politicians coming to speak on campus when all they hear is a bunch of self-important little wannabe marxists going on about how HARD its is for students and student debt etc etc etc.... THE GOVERNMENT ALREADY SUBSIDISES THE F*CK OUT OF OUR DEGREES! Its like “ooh daddy, I kind of like the Rav you got me but all my other friends in the Netherlands have Audis... wahwahwah” You know what you do in that situation... Take the keys back! How would you like this conversation : “Pay your own way you ungrateful little f*ckers!”

And you know how to get full funding? Stop doing bullsh*t colouring in degrees because thats the obvious reason why we can’t afford universal tertiary funding! How are you gonna expect the taxpayer to foot the bill for your essay on volleyball, or a 5 page report on the “feedback sandwich”. I dont even know if theres enough photocopiers in the country for them to operate when they realise you dont walk into the role of CEO straight out of uni! We need more funding for medicine, teaching and science/technology, and other roles that actually contribute to our economy and make the country stronger and not just some nanny state for useless bohemians or equally useless “HR people” (have a look at the number of top NZ businesses whose CEOs are engineers to see the real value of a uni degree in management... JACK). Other than that shut the f*ck up and be happy you’re getting a semi-free ride!

- Disgruntled young coot 69

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A $20 BOOK VOUCHER FROM BENNETTS WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP!

PH 07 856 6813 14

FAX 07 856 2255

ADDRESS Gate 5 Hillcrest Road

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EMAIL wku@bennetts.co.nz

Jeff Hawkes: Champion of Truth, Justice, and creative grammar LETTERS POLICY: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be kept under 250 words and be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication.

We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot

Way to bring up or offer to continue an arguement that that does come up with some frequency. I like the way you hide behind a stinkfist, you are obviously ignorant. The schedule seven frequency is owned by WSU, there was a sublease arrangement set up back in ‘96, that was part of a design to bring the student union down. The subletting contract reads like a crooked piece of work. The failure of the broadcaster operating under said license to adhere to elements of the schedule resulted in funding for the Hamilton community from NZonair being cut, and the subsequent demise of the Generator. If you want to bang on about what the story is, get it straight, reminds me of Nexus comments after the WSU election making uninformed and far from accurate statements about the situation. So whoever you are stinkfist, grow up, and identify yourself if you are prepared to write a public letter in ignorance. Incidentally, there is a distinct influx of DJs of late.

It isn’t about tuning in or out, as Ddub said in last weeks issue, it’s all about supporting local talent(2008Nexus:Issue 22, Page ). Funny you should have a home town of Otorohanga, I have even had a Dj coming in from there. But you in your ignorance wouldn’t have a clue, go back to the rock you crawled out from under! Fist boy/girl, Glittfab, whatever. Some people like to have a focus that can help the community, and not tear others down because of their aspirations for the community.

you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence

Jeffery Hawkes

must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be) but if it’s a serious letter we’d prefer you to use your real name.

Send letters to nexus@ waikato.ac.nz

Uh…by “stinkfist” do you mean “StudentFist?” That’s the pseudonym you’re replying to. I absolutely agree with you on people being prepared to identify themselves if they’re writing in on important or controversial topics, but unfortunately some people will continue to use pseudonyms – a bit like you did when you signed up and posted under several different usernames on the Nexus forum last year. I thought our election coverage was, to quote Fox News, “fair and balanced.” Indeed, looking back I think I was really quite kind, and could have (should have?) been much meaner. Perhaps you’d like to outline your concerns instead of throwing random insinuations about. But hey, at least this time no-one stole our magazines. – Ed.

Pretty soon, after 3 long years, you’ll have your degree.

But cheer up – it hasn’t been a total waste of time.

69% of AXIS Adschool graduates have landed full-time jobs in the creative departments of top advertising agencies- one of the most highly paid careers imaginable. And they learned how to create cool ads in just 36 weeks. Does having a degree help? You bet. Many of our star students came through universities, and advertising has always been an industry that needs fresh, brave and disciplined thinkers. But first, you’ve got to get in.

We’re enrolling right now for February ’09 and we only take 22 people, so don’t waste any more precious time; for your application pack, call 09 3030 402, go to www.axisadschool.co.nz, or txt ‘AXIS’ to 0275 CREATE.

15

It’s called the Internet

Busted!

Dear Nexus, Hey Nexus, During the Bryant Hall’s destruction crew’s fortnightly destruction, we found a nexus from May 2006, issue 9 to be exact, and were amazed at some of the awesome material found. We are suggesting additions to the nexus from what we saw in this issue. The cover brought great success with the picture of two chicks hooking up. Win. We also liked the full page “Low Five Questions” as it had a more personal feel. The jerk jokes section was made of awesome, as well as the news in briefs. We like the idea of the environmental issues officer, and we enjoyed the many comics throughout the issue.To finish the issue there was a picture in the busted section of yet more girls hooking up, which we know you have no control over, but it would still be nice. To finish, we did not see agony art, so to make up for this, we would also like to see some full page spreads.

Thanks nexus, we enjoy reading.

just wondering who takes the busted pics that arent sent in? for a student magazine the pics should be taken at a student bar. . . namely 101. everyone whos anyone knows this is the place to be (regardless of the night of the week) although i did enjoy the pic of the week this week.

From, the Bryant hall destruction crew. rack-tastic!

I’d like more comics as well, but people here tend to draw several and then stop. If anyone wants to contribute some, go for it. For the rest of it, here are some Google searches you can try: “girls kissing,” “jokes,” and “news.” - Ed.

Bones

Wow, someone at this uni knows how to write!

What are the odds!

This is kinda creepy, and didn’t fit, so I deleted every third word.

Justin Cullingworth’s letter was in some regards misinformed and overexcited, but he should be given credit for voicing opinions that many hold but feel too afraid to express publicly. The various issues around the rise of Maori political and legal strength in this country have become too sensitised. Healthy debate is required for the growth of any society and the virtual strangulation of debate by a so-called ‘liberal’ media and academia weaken the long term prospects of a functional and inclusive nation.

Paul Moon a professor of history at AUT has been accused of being racist by other academics for daring to write a book which explored traditional Maori cannibalism. One of these academics, a Margaret Mutu who is the Professor of Maori Studies at AUT, made similar accusations despite admitting that she hadn’t read a word of his book. This is symptomatic of the knee-jerk reactions which follow any perceived challenge to the mythologies (both real and questionable) that are being built in New Zealand at present.

Cullingworth raises a sound point questioning the position of VP Maori.

The position appears to run the risk of being little more than tokenistic and doing little to engage the Maori student body. The disinterest in the role is evidenced by the fact that in this years elections no one was interested in running for the position. Whetu stepped up at the last minute to fill the position uncontested, not because he really wanted to as he said himself, but more likely because it would have been an embarrassment to have the position unfilled only one year after it was created. (Not to say that Whetu won’t do a great job, but this result is more by accident than by design). The interests of the Maori student body on campus would be better served by the $15,000 budgeted for the VP Maori position going towards a specific Maori student organisation for that purpose.

Pathetic. I to campus, knowing full it was ‘ <3 my breasts. I hear was a of around -40 topless. Awesome. Except fuckwit forgot mention this the full advertisement in week’s Nexus. mention of parade, and not a & place sight. You be ashamed. on to something more pathetic: need a, and yes writing to to try get me (or more). are coming & we’re stressing about (at least am), and a well fact that is an method of. So, if you: a vagina, have any STI/Ds, horny, of or above, and above else a cool, then let’s together & making babies. migrating to after my, and won’t back again time soon, I’m not for anything. I just to fuck. Although, if interesting & want to and so afterwards, I’m, funny, have a range of, a cute, and I get attached / you. More happy to in touch, if that’s you desire. these busy times, don’t have time or energy spend wasting money & to pick girls who or may have STI/Ds, I should studying. I’m there plenty of out there just want stress relief, they can back to on their well & satisfied. Did mention I’m cunning linguist? name’s also, as in wizard. How cool is? I’ll make magic happen! I’m also with my, can give shoulder/neck as a of what’s store for. Please, no trying to be: if you’re then flick a text 0274946946. Offer valid 18th October. delay, text!

Merlin Blackmore

David Bennett M P f o r H A M I LTo N E A S T

Phone: 07 834 3407 davidbennett@xtra.co.nz www.davidbennett.co.nz

Kingi Wallace (abridged)

www.national.org.nz 16

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The Nexus Awards

By Joshua Drummond

Stop reading, casual readers. This isn’t for you. This is where I get to be super self-indulgent and thank the many volunteers who are the ones who really write this magazine each week – I’m just a glorified ctrl+c ctrl+v machine.* I am doing this mostly by insulting them, so feel free to laugh at their expense. If you’re a volunteer, thank you. Now, laugh at yourselves.

Most Artistic

Best Pseudonym

While our Graphics Editor Talia Kingi should be a shoe-in for this title, we couldn’t help but give it to the guy who receives and replies to correspondence from borderline psychopaths each week – and when he doesn’t, he makes it up. No, silly, it’s not me. It’s Art Focker! The scary fact? At least 80 per cent of the questions to Agony Art are real. They’re always the more extreme ones, too. Art also writes the Movie Reviews (mostly) and seems to take a perverse pleasure in forming opinions that are exactly opposite to mine.

Most Libertarian A hard-fought award, with Nexus’ vast majority of extreme right-wing volunteers fighting it out to the bitter end. But, survival of the fittest held the day, and sometime columnist (and the official Third Best Columnist in the New Zealand Student Media, according to the ASPA Awards) Fergus Hodgson took out this coveted award. Let’s hope some of his glory trickles down to the rest of us, rather than him hogging it all for himself.

Best Pants Another tough category. Various factions of Nexus the WSU, and randoms who wandered into the office competed for this award. It came down to a close call between a guy who dressed like a pirate and Fergus Hodgson – but Fergus won the day with his impeccably pressed, very libertarian chinos – which he either wears every day or has hundreds of pairs of.

With hundreds of entrants, usually through the Lettuce page, but also drawn from amongst our own contributors, we had to carefully sort through all 22 back issues to draw a winner. This of course, was much too much like hard work, so we merely went back to the one that sticks best in our memory. “James Brunelle,” aka “Hassad” aka some other name, takes the cake. He only wrote in for one week, but accidentally shot his attempt to look like multiple people in the foot when he accidentally sent the same letter twice – under two different names. Ah, poor “James.” Will you try to flame us next year? Time will tell.

Best Volunteer who became the Editor’s Girlfriend award So much competition! The Editor (me) was inundated with a stream of utterly gorgeous women who vied for the chance to claim the coveted title of Nexus Volunteer and Editor’s Girlfriend. Unfortunately for them, one candidate stood head and shoulders above them. Well, metaphorically, that is. Louise Blackstock soon took the title after pulling me through the 48 Hours film-making competition to gauge my manliness. (I kept sneaking off home to sleep, so I don’t know how well that went.) But she took me anyway, probably just so she could claim this Nexus award. So, I really must say for next year: Sorry Ladies - I’m Taken.

18

Most Inconsistent Nexus tends to have people drifting in and out, but some people sign up to do a thing and then stop doing it. We’re sure they have good reasons. Simon. If you feel like coming back next year, you’re welcome – but I’ll sic Blair Munro on you if you don’t put out the goods.

Most Unsettling Columnist Not Agony Art. He’s a paragon of sanity compared to a guy who regularly makes me feel I should call the men in white coats. Step up, Blair Munro! Your column regularly terrifies me, and I’m sure it does the readers as well.

I’d have stopped it by now, if I wasn’t sure it was good therapy for you. By the way, that restraining order is still active.

Most Consistent Who else but that paragon of stability, Vitamin C/Flash Medallion! C has failed Uni for another year in order to bring you a puzzle page, DVD reviews, Phat Controllers, and a column each week as well as random features and other contributions, like the Bar Reviews, where he got really drunk, just for you. Worth it? We think so. Cheers, buddy. Honourable mention: Kelly Badman. You’ve never done us wrong.

19

Most Drunken

Most “Fuck Deadlines, man” Award

A tie between Agony Art, who, it may not surprise you to learn occasionally indulges in alcomahol, AJ, who has been in the magazine in various stages of undress often enough for you to guess at his recreational proclivities, and ex-News Ed Andrew Neal, who could sink a massive amount of alcohol when called upon, which was always. How else can we explain that ridiculous hat?

Awarded to absolutely everyone, including me, except Talia, Andrew, and Burton C Bogan. It is part of a student magazine’s very fabric that everyone must submit something shockingly late at least once an issue. You lot did not disappoint. As the Egyptian Goddess of Irony would have it, the one person who was Always on Time was the Bogan. Dave: I don’t know how or why, but thanks. Boganology brightens my day.

Most Stupid Hat Award Andrew Neal wears the stupidest fucking hat

Most Belly Dancerey

in the universe. Seriously. I think he pinched it off a museum exhibit entitled “Fashion Crimes of the 18th Century” – it’s really the only explanation, apart from drug abuse. I hope his bosses at his new job at the Hauraki Tiny Town Herald or whatever it is have taken it off him gently and then burned it in a ceremony. Also: Good news, ta for that.

This goes to Emma Swete, who is a belly dancer. Figures, doesn’t it? Anyone would think I’m making up these categories as I go, but I’m not. She also wrote a kick-ass feature, helped out many many times, and wrote an article about Nandor Tanczos’ visit to campus that pissed off the normally-mellow Greens.

Great work.

Most Likely to describe WSU candidates as “Hot,” “Desirable” or “Mint” in unedited news articles.

A year or so ago, this award would have gone to me. This year, new News Ed Grant Burns takes the sexist cake. After his article on the WSU Meet the Candidates meeting, he had to be taken quietly away and lectured about how flirting though the medium news articles could possibly be a bad idea. He has since reformed, and is a practicing celibate.*

Most Nerdy Jed Laundry. Come on, did you think this was a joke? He writes a column called the Nerdary for Bfulu’s sake. Proof of his nerdiness: Before it was called the Nerdary, it was called Static Void Main. I have no idea what that means, and neither do you, unless you are Comp Sci and are probably cursing me for wrecking your favourite nerd-joke. Suck it up, geeks. Go write something in Python***

consumer and applied sciences – tempting

choose the most tempting mix for any employer

sciences

commerce

arts

consumer and applied sciences – sweet as!

A Bachelor in Consumer and Applied Science is one of those fantastic degrees which not only gives you the choice of designing your own course, but has practical application in the real world, engenders genuine respect in business circles and opens many career doors.

The degree is aimed at those with interests in clothing and textiles, food, design, human nutrition or working with the community and families. You can choose any of these as a major, but what makes this degree unique and special is that it combines your theoretical studies

with real, hands-on applied skills and a solid grounding in business, marketing or management.

This degree is particularly suited to those well-rounded and well-grounded individuals. So if you have a love for science and art or art and commerce or science and commerce and you want to make a real difference in a real world, then CApSc may be the degree for you.

A CApSc from Otago - NZ’s most prestigious university!

If it sounds like you, all you have to do is take your pick.

only at otago – consumer and applied sciences

OU1372

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20

Otago uniVersity oF

your place in the world

Most Stream of Consciousy happy birds in trees with fire down their knees Writing Award Music (and former) Ed Carl Watkins takes this one, purely on the strength of his first review which was about… something. I don’t know.

There were trees and grass and lullabies and drifting on the wind or some such stuff. It got a bit more straight-laced after that, but whatever he was on, I want some.

Most Robbed at the ASPA Awards Award Whoa, tough one. I, personally, think Talia was robbed on Best Design, Carl for Best Reviewer and Art for Best Humour, but I was sure Andy Fyers of Sports Thoughts was a shoe-in. I was wrong – he came precisely nowhere – but

Most Wordy Me. I hit my (self-imposed) word limit ages ago, and I’m going to have to hope Talia can shoe-horn all this crap in to the mag now. So, to anyone I’ve missed: I’m sorry, and I thank you like a weepy Oscar winner for all the work you’ve done this year. Stick around, and we’ll do fun stuff together next year.

that’s okay, because we like him anyway, so does his mum, he’ll always be cool to us, and we’d like him to keep writing next year. Keep it up, man.

*Ladies: Prove me wrong! ** Employers: This is a lie to make the volunteers feel good. I actually work extremely hard, as the callus on my copy/paste finger proves. *** I, too, know about nerd stuff.

21

22

A combination of insightful rhyming couplets, anarchic percussion and the breathtaking performance skills of lead singer Rohan Marx

MSU A couple of weeks back an article in “Nexus”

joint yet connected with the audience on a

on the verge of breaking up, with every

stirred some ancient memories. Mr Watkins’ history of the Band Experiments reminded me of one of the best nights of my life. On the 20th of July, 2000, the evening of my 34th birthday, the Mobile Stud Unit, a group comprised of friends and flatmates, was placed third in the inaugural competition’s final. This was, to me at least, an event of significance.

Finally, someone else was taking them just a little bit seriously. After two albums, three full Orientation tours, numerous attempts at the Battle of Bands title, at least one front page article in the “Waikato Times”, three of their eventual nine appearances at a world-famouson-Cambridge-Road Guy Fawkes Party and a couple of head line stints at the McGillicuddy Jig on Sunday, MSU got a fraction of the recognition they deserved.

visceral level. They swore like they meant it, screamed, shouted and rolled around on the ground, invented a new dance (“The Jocko”, named after one of their own), and generally took the piss out of all that was precious and pretentious in the o-so-serious indie rock scene.

gig either declared the ‘last one ever’ or a ‘reformation’. Regular performances and new songs were impossible whilst half the Unit harboured ambitions of making so called ‘serious’ music.

It was not, strictly speaking, the first time they had won anything. The Unit had its genesis in a 1993 O-Week busking competition. Five old school mates, most of them hailing from or schooled in Te Awamutu, got pissed one night and wrote a group of songs that would revolutionise Hamilton music. The most catchy number was called “Bob”. It was about a guy called Bob. He had no job. People called him a knob. So he smacked them in the gob.

As endlessly amusing as they were - and are - I have always resisted the ‘joke band’ label as inherently limiting and derogatory. MSU’s original material ranges from thinly disguised autobiography (“Bob”) to parody (“Shortland St”; “Beverly Hills 9021”; “Jesus Loves You”), to satire (“Little Fat Policeman”; “Old Cunts”; “Stroke Victim”), to outright surrealism (“Brian Fuckhole”; “The Naughty Vet”) with a couple of genuine punk anthems for good measure (“Roadkill”; “Do the Jocko”). From the very first they were engaging with and critiquing the culture, lamenting the rise of crap TV, resisting the potential fascism of the state, and in their own distinctive way examining some frightful truths about ageing and the generation gap.

A combination of insightful rhyming couplets, anarchic percussion and the breathtaking performance skills of lead singer Rohan Marx saw the Mobile Stud Unit take out the busking contest, winning the right to support The Mutton Birds. They immediately disgraced themselves. The exuberance of youth enhanced by vast quantities of alcohol, the boys put more than one famous nose out of

From inception MSU were, for obvious reasons, pigeonholed as a ‘joke band’. Undoubtedly this is how they saw themselves, the reputation enhanced by having the original drummer, Griff Robb, play in the nude. In those early days every set ended with a kind of parody of The Who in which instruments were seemingly destroyed, and as late as 1995 Rohan felt the need to augment the music with a grand stunt in which he set himself on fire.

Subsequent line up changes in 1997 led to a renaissance and some glory years. The writing became more focused and the live show nuanced and varied, with Rohan ever honing the schtick. They became best known for their sexual content, their bare faced appreciation of female genitalia out there for all to see in the second CD “Flaps”, the masterful single “Wheel of Clitoris” and the lounge number show stopper “Beef Curtains”.

To reduce MSU to mere filth merchants though is to sell them short. As the band brings down the curtain, signing off at a 15th anniversary gig, we should recognise their breath of achievement. Equally capable of poignant autobiography (“Sexually Unattractive”), political satire (“Pakeha”) or blissful celebration of the best things in life (“Boozing with My Mates”), their biggest hit was unashamedly sentimental. “Stu’s Piecart”, an ode to a Hamilton East institution and its corpulent owner, reveals Marx’s ability to blend personal anecdote and cultural commentary to moving effect.

Jack Daniels presents MSU the Final Concert, with guests The Shrugs, and Wayne Anderson.

Friday 14th November, Altitude Bar, Alexandra Street. Doors open 9pm, $15 or $25 with Best of MSU CD.

Whatever the estimation of the band’s brilliance its original line up were perpetually 23

Prez Sez

By Moira Neho

Well whanau this is it… the last nexus of the year and the last time I get to write to you as your President. This year has flown past and I just wanted you to know that it’s been an absolute privilege to serve and work for you. While I have been in this job I’ve discovered that there are a few myths floating around and I thought I’d give my 5c worth on them.

Myth: There’s no campus culture at Waikato Answer: Bullcrap This year my goal was not to try and please everyone with a few big events. Instead I wanted the WSU to hold several smaller activities with the hope that at least one of them would appeal to each of our members. By the time you read this we would have put on almost 40 events and activities for you, and based on the number of sausages, bowls of nachos, and number of drinks that we have given away I reckon we’ve done a pretty good job.

It’s true that our students are different to those at Otago but that doesn’t mean you don’t know how to have fun. I’ve seen you pull your couches down on to the Village Green and throw the Frisbee around (back when the sun was out and the green wasn’t a big hole in the ground); I’ve been to the notorious Brocas ruckus parties and seen the total karn that you lot can create; I’ve seen you playing hacky all over campus; and the group sing-a-longs that are born whenever a guitar is around. Try and tell me that there is no campus culture at Waikato and I’ll tell you that you’re either not looking in the right places or you haven’t bothered to leave your room.

Myth: Students are apathetic Answer: Rubbish When I started as your President I kept hearing people say that you were apathetic and that you didn’t care about politics on any level. Well I say rubbish. You are not apathetic, you are just too damn busy trying to stay sane and get educated. You don’t have the luxury of skipping class every other day for every worthy cause that comes our way (unlike those politicians currently running the country) - you pay too damn much to be here and your future depends on you passing every single one of your papers. Even if you wanted to get some collective action going, it’s almost impossible. Universities structure classes against it – what happened to a common lunch hour? Believe it or not we are one of the lucky ones who have cultural hour, one hour at 1pm on Wednesdays where there should be no scheduled classes. If you ever find yourself in a class that is scheduled at this time, come see the WSU and we will take it up with the University.

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If we have learnt anything from this user pays system it’s that we really can’t depend on anyone to look out for us except ourselves. The government is slow to implement any changes that will have a real effect on our lives and you all know it. Students are apathetic? No way - our education system is pathetic.

Myth: There’s no student space on campus Answer: Yes and No It could be argued that the whole campus is “student space” since the reason it exists is purely for us. However I know that’s not what you mean. The reality of it is that there really are limited spaces for you to hang out, study, or just wait while in between classes – especially if it’s raining! The good news is that the University is committed to the library refurbishment project which will also provide a student centre complete with help desk, more study spaces, chill out zones, and places to eat.

WSU has been busy trying to secure a dedicated student space in that building and we’re pretty confident that this is going to happen. There’s no student space on campus? Well kinda, but WSU is trying to fix that – because we love you!

2008 has been a great year. I have loved every aspect of my job and have loved being your President. Thank you for trusting me to represent you, it’s been an honour.

Good luck for exams, be safe over summer.

Aroha nui

Pink Parade!

By Jo Bisset

Heart Your Breasts Day was held last Wednesday with a Pink Parade through the University and a prize-giving afterwards in the S-block foyer. A number of topless girls were met by a lot of surprised faces throughout campus, in the name of Breast Cancer Awareness.

Rodney Wayne Chartwell styled the hair of all of the models, making everyone look gorgeous for the event - fortunately the rain held off!

Body painting designs included ideas from pink ribbons to phoenix’s to graffiti. The two men that modelled for the event deserve a special mention for being so game!

The winner of the major award received a super sweet hot pink 10 mega-pixel digital camera which went to body painters for their fantastic floral design that was well thought out and well executed.

The other winners of the body painting and bra design competitions won $150 packs from Bic which included razors and a whole lot of stationery.

There were also plenty of giveaways, including pink cupcakes, Pinky bars, Healtheries ‘Be Gorgeous Tea’, Cool Charm, Moxie, Bic razors, M&Ms. A big thank you to all of the sponsors and competition participants for your support, it was a great event that could not have been possible without your help.

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TAUPO

DEPARTURE 10am FRIDAY OCTOBER 17

8pm - Free Feed 9pm - Live Band Anomoly 10:30pm - Presentations 11pm - DJ Willie G $4 fridge and ‘V’ Vodkas till Midnight $3 Tap Beer & Doubles all night

Departing: Waikato Management School car park, Gate 10 Destination: Waikato styles, with four compulsory pit-stops circling the mighty waikato Major prizes for; Best Dressed Team, Best Themed Vehicle and People’s Choice Awards

GET YOUR HORI CAR OR VAN READY TO ROLL OUT FOR THIS EPIC ADVENTURE

Flatmate wanted from Mid-November (negotiable) to go with 2 guys 2 girls each aged 20 @ Waikato Uni. 5 minutes walk to uni, fully furnished (minus bed), off street parking, 2 bathrooms, 2 lounges, 2 kitchens.

Neighbours have lemon tree(s). Friendly, hardworking flatmates, who have fun also.

Rent $113 excl food 8593932 or Txt 0274648503 view http://www.nzflatmates.co.nz/go/52482 for pictures and more details etc ROOM FOR SUMMER!! $90p/w negotiable.

Located on Hogan st, 2min walk to uni.

Avaliable from beginning of november to end of feb. Sunny spacious house, fully furnished.

Will consider people to rent just over summer school period.

Contact 027 4847911 or email tra10@ students.waikato.ac.nz two homeless 2nd years looking for someone to take us in. we are good girls, most of the time. we are both very clean, friendly and social. please help us if you have two spare rooms. contact us 0211843851.

Studentrent.co.nz The property list for next year is now out!

Visit the accommodation office or www. studentrent.co.nz to view all 180+ listings available. Student Rent is 100% FREE for ALL users.”

Flatmate wanted 4 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom great new flat $105 a week Come live with 3 cool as chicks We would love to have you Text or Phone Ash 0273807622 or 021853041 Available now!!!!

FLATMATE WANTED lrg 5bedroom house, 2 bathrooms, double garage.large section.

Room available end of January. 5minute walk to uni and shops. Rent around 95$ (negotiable) not including expenses. Ideal flatemate likes to have fun and socialise! Please txt 0277241918 Flatmate wanted during summer holidays Outside room private and secure available from beginning of November to mid February 2009.

For $80 per week you will have: Great flatmates, rent, power, phone, Broadband, off street parking, large lounge, off from Knighton Road, two minutes to uni, storage available.

To enquire please phone the following numbers: Cell:027 460 7452 Hm:07 856 1656 FLATMATE WANTED!!! Move in and recieve a free 2GB shuffle-style MP3 player (not ipod).

Large outside room available in a 5 bedroom, two bathroom house. A 5 minute walk to Uni and the Warehouse shops. House is fully furnished (except for the room for rent) including a dishwasher. Rent is $90/week and another $20.50 to cover Sky, broadband, power and phone. Call or text Colleen on 0210735961 to view. Cheers!

Freeloader.co.nz Where Students Buy and Sell No listing fees, success fees or registration charges, its FREE. Perfect for finding flatmates and buying and selling text books. www.freeloader.co.nz 3 BDRM HOUSE 4RENT $290 a week On Cook St, people in house are going home so need to get out ASAP, close to schools, uni, town, big backyard, tidy flat, warm house with afternoon sun!!

Ready to take over ASAP Contact Kyly Haynes 856-4500 or 027 327 2604

“The Waikato Golden Key Society is holding a FOUR SQUARE TOURNAMENT to raise funds for Waikato SPELD, an organisation which helps children and adults with reading difficulties. Remember the game where you bounce the ball in the four squares? Come and play like you used to when you were a kid! For a donation to SPELD, you can take part in the tournament on Wednesday, 15th October in between S block and L block between 12 and 2pm. There will be a sweet treat to purchase too!”

Homes Avaliable For Rent NOW! 18 Greensboro St $365p/w 3 double bedrooms + conservatory, double garage, fully fenced, backs onto park.

20 Greensboro St $300p/w 3 double bedrooms, garaging and fully fenced.

CALL 027 243 7788 FLAT WITH US! Large sleepout available.Warm and plenty of privacy.Share a modernly refurbished 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house with 3 female students and a working male. $130pw incl power, wireless net, phone & general flat items/food.Fully furnished house w dishwasher.Out of ham east where all the theft is going on! We are 4minute walk to rugby stadium and close to town and bus stop to go to uni, wintec or work. Available within a week.

We want you! Call or Text 0274648231 or ph 078476045

Want to play hockey in 2009!? Uni club is the biggest in the region & definitely has something for you! From social to serious, we have loads of fun and always welcome new faces! Listen out for the trials around Feb/March and give it a go... hockey is great way to get fit and meet new people... check out www.varsityhockey.co.nz

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2008 has provided us with many wonderful sporting moments.

However, for me, three stand out as sporting memories that will stay in the memory bank.

1. Nick Willis - Sure it was only a bronze medal, but Willis’ effort in winning New Zealand’s first track medal in over 20 years was monumental. Rated a good prospect of making the final of the 1500m, Willis cruised through his heats and semis before producing the race of his life in the final to hold off many of his more highly-rated opponents and snare a podium place. For the first time since the halcyon days of New Zealand middle distance running in the 1960s and 1970s we have genuine world class track contender. Bring on London 2012.

2. Our rowers - They weren’t quite able to snare multi-gold medal haul that many of us hoped was possible, but a gold and two bronze medals is not to be sniffed at. The pure guts shown by Mahe Drysdale to battle through sickness and win a bronze medal speaks volumes for his strength and character. In good health he will be tough to beat in London. The big story though was the Evers-Swindells who bounced back from disappointing performances in the lead-up to the Olympics to win gold by the slimmest of margins. It was a performance that puts in them in the Snell/Loader-category of Kiwi Olympic greatness.

3. Upsetting the Storm - There is no tougher assignment in rugby league than beating Melbourne Storm in Melbourne. No one, including the most ardent Warriors fans, gave them more than an outside chance.

But in classic Warriors style they produced their best form when

First, a public service announcement. The *SCMS Pub Crawl* will be happening on the *17th of October*. A splendid time is guaranteed for all, as has been the case year after year. Free/cheap drinks and lots of free food, and of course the always popular pub crawl t-shirt (which will NOT feature Comic Sans MS this year, graphic designer types can wear it without shame). Being part of the SCMS is not a requirement, we always welcome our Science / Engineering counterparts, or anyone else who has a geeky tendency. *We need to know numbers by today (the 13th)*. $18 with t-shirt or $3 without, collect your tickets from Bronwyn Poki in R.G.22.

The year is quickly pulling to a close, like it does year after year, and so begins my plans to move between lovely air-conditioned rooms, ensuring that I’m not at all exposed to the harmful UV rays of summer.

It always surprises me that it happens, in the same way most nerds were surprised when 01/01/2000 happened. It’s not as if it’s something you can count down to or anything. And so if I’ve done my math correctly, this is the last ever time you’ll be able to read The Nerdery this year.

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the expectation was at its lowest to thrust themselves into playoff contention. To add to the euphoria they left it until the last minute of the game to produce a match-winning length-of-the-field try. As it turned out a semifinal match-up with Manly was a bridge too far. But there is no shame in losing to the eventual premiers.

Looking ahead to the sporting summer one team will occupy the Kiwi sporting psyche for the next six months: the Black Caps. This summer offers a genuine test for a side which is in the midst of a serious rebuilding period following the recent retirements of Stephen Fleming, Shane Bond, Nathan Astle and Craig McMillan. Much will hinge on the performance of up-and-coming batsman Ross Taylor, Jamie How and Jesse Ryder who will all need to build on the promise they showed last season and become consistent international cricketers. In many ways the competitiveness of the team hinges on this. If they don’t perform it fall to Brendon McCullum, Daniel Vettori and Jacob Oram in the middle order to score enough runs to prop the team up.

The Black Caps are currently touring Bangladesh where they should dominate, however they can expect a sterner challenge after that in Australia, before returning home for series against the West Indies and India.

If it is top quality test cricket you are interested in Sky has secured the rights to the India-Australia test series. In recent years these series have been epic affairs and the testy relationship between the two teams always adds some spice to proceedings.

I should end with a reflection into all that’s happened this year, unfortunately I still haven’t learned how to program reflections correctly (The Earth language is worse than Java), and I can just barely do them with Algebra. So instead, here’s a short list of what I’m looking forward to in revision 2009; I’m looking forward to getting rid of the horrible Windows thing in my pocket and getting a Google Android-based thingy. No, not an iPhone.

The iPhone, although pretty, sucks when compared to what the Android is going to be able to do. I’m looking forward to Internet Explorer 8, how much better the web will be (standards-wise), but not how slowly it will be adopted by users. I’m looking forward to the end of people’s hatred for Vista as Windows Mojave hits the shelves. And finally, I’m greatly anticipating playing Duke Nukem Forever.

I look forward to spending another year hunched over the keyboard with your, dear reader. So long, and thanks for all the fish.

The Big Picture

By Fergus Hodgson

Fleecing the American Taxpayer—Hyped-up Crisis Style In response the ongoing financial “crisis,” the United States Congress and George Bush have now approved a US $700 billion (over NZ $1 trillion) bailout of the financial industry—in addition to the hundreds of billions already spent buying out AIG Insurance and the two government-subsidized loan agencies, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Apparently, Americans should be glad that their leaders have stepped forward and used tax dollars to stave off hard economic times.

The problem is that few members of the public understand the nature of the situation, and who can blame them given the maze of gobble-de-gook economic jargon that confronts them with any attempt to delve deeper. Regardless of their naivety, they, and perhaps the entire world, sure are concerned; and there’s nothing like the word “crisis” to get the heart pumping.

But is there a crisis—one warranting every American man, woman, and child handing over US $4,000? (Not immediately of course, and definitely not during election season.

Predictably, both presidential candidates are advocating wholesale tax-cuts, and the burden will fall on future, unrepresented generations.)

One would be led to believe that if the money were not spent, the US economy would go into a depression comparable to that of the 1930s.

Certainly, if the US government keeps spending money willy-nilly, as though there were no tomorrow, that will happen, but first let’s get a grasp of the situation, and then we can assess who stands to win and lose from this bailout.

Due to a host of reasons—predominantly stemming from bureaucratic mismanagement and corruption within the US Congress and Federal Reserve System—US financial institutions have, for decades, been creating an endless line of risky loans, while still reporting

them at full, book-value. You and I know that some loans are worth more than others, (For example, I doubt many believe the fantasy that our government will ever retrieve the full $10 billion loaned out to students) and when repayment looks slim, one ought to honestly report this to shareholders by scaling back the value of the loans and taking a loss on the balance sheet. Needless to say, honest book-keeping has been sacrificed for a prettier picture in the short-run.

However, at some point the illusion comes crashing down, and as these bad debts have defaulted in a rush, the financiers have been caught in a bind, to say the least. The cheques have already been written, the homes used as security have foreclosed and dived in value, and now the financiers are covered in selfcreated debt. Consequently, many have had to default on their own debt, passing on the problem.

As stockholders and prospective investors have woken up, share prices have fallen—and with good reason. Why invest in risky loans and shoddy business practices? The falling share prices have echoed across the world and have captured the eyes of the press and public, with cries of “crisis” all-round. Stuck with rapidly devaluing assets, and unwilling to take a warranted loss, the financiers have decided that if no private individuals are willing to pay the price they desire, they will sell to the US government, saddling their losses on the backs of the US taxpayer.

The irony is that this gargantuan bailout is being done with the US taxpayer in mind, at least publicly. Although, just how failing finance companies would hurt the common taxpayer and bring the next great depression is unclear. Yes, the finance company stockholders have been losing some of their investments,

and yes, some related workers have been losing their jobs; but isn’t that a good thing?

Businesses that perform poorly and dishonestly deserve to take a loss—either they amend their ways or investors and customers will go elsewhere—and the workers would be better employed elsewhere. Sure enough, since the “credit crunch” began, financiers have been adjusting and becoming less reckless with their lending behaviour. However, now that these companies are being rewarded handsomely for their failures and creative book-keeping, one would expect them to keep on doing so, and this scenario is doomed to repeat itself.

What we are observing is a strong case of self-fulfilling prophecy on the side of what need not be a major concern. If we all expect a downturn, there will be a downturn. The widespread fears that allowed the bailout to pass are being reflected in less willingness to spend among businesses and consumers the world over; and that is bringing a downturn. In response, reserve banks, including the Reserve Bank of New Zealand, have been cutting interest rates, increasing money supplies, and greatly encouraging spending.

The winners of this bailout are those that are selling their bad-debts above marketvalue to the US government. The losers are the American people, particularly the future generations, who will actually pay the bill as the US national debt continues to expand and accumulate interest. We, on the other hand, have nothing to fear but fear itself.

Fergus Hodgson has a B.A. in economics from Boston University. He currently tutors macroeconomics and studies political science here at the University of Waikato. Feedback is welcome via flh2@waikato.ac.nz.

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CD REVIEW: BLACKTOOTH – DESENSITIZE For those who read my column – both of you, listen up –last week I did a band profile on Blacktooth. Well, what do you know? Here’s an album review of their latest achievement titled Desensitize – how convenient.

No it’s nothing like the shitty Drowning Pool album of almost the same name; it’s a lot more brutal than that. If you don’t know who Blacktooth are I’m going to beat you to death with my own shoes (www.myspace. com/blacktoothmetal). But I should hurry up and get to the reviewing bit…in short…its fucken awesome. The best thing about Blacktooth is their awesome live performances, and this album captures that perfectly. While not being a live album, it feels like I’m standing right in

gig favourites; Feeding my Mind’s Destruction, Houses of the Unholy and the album is nicely rounded off by The Liquor Store Fucken Rules.

An awesome album that you should definitely get out and support, with every track a head banging hit, and it even has some creepily cool cover art by Nadine from Skinks, as well as some inner cover

the front of the speaker at one of their gigs. To me it feels a lot heavier than previous efforts such as The Unholy Reign… and with my stereo turned into 11 it gave me more than half a stock! It definitely does its job, as every time I’ve put it on it’s made me think “when’s the next Blacktooth gig?” It’s very rare these days to have a CD that you will listen to from start to finish without skipping any tracks, and this is one of them. In doing this review I was trying to pick a few favourites, but it’s very difficult as they’re all awesome. If I had to I would go with

art work showing a few Hamilton land marks that Matt reportedly labored over for ages! My only criticism, and it’s a minor one, is that I’m personally not a fan of Intros on CDs. For some it sets the mood and on Desensitize it does just that as it prepares you for the sonic onslaught to come…but personally I like the element of surprise, I like being grabbed by the balls at the start! Check out their Myspace for details or give me an email and I can forward you their details to purchase a copy. 5 Black Teeth out of 5.

Dicks and Balls! Cunt and flaps! Vaginal discharge on the face of society! It’s Agonyu Art-San with a tsunami of filthy for your perverted minds! See you next year! When you walk in on me and your mother and grandmas!

Dearest Uncle Art, Do you think it’s weird to shit your pants while you’re sleeping? Not that I do it! But I did it last night and I haven’t taken a shower since and I was wondering if that’s what smells?

Fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, love, Bones Dear Bones Shit happens. It’s the way of the world. Shit happens when you’re on the toilet, when you laugh too hard and when you’re running to the toilet and laugh too hard. The only problem with what you’re saying is that when shit happens, shit needs to get cleaned up. I don’t care if you shower, get hosed down by your flatmates or just spit on a hanky and wipe that ring clean. The main thing is getting it off your person and clothes so you can once again be accepted into society as a pleasant companion and conversationalist. And yes, that is what smells. Your personality probably stinks too.

I myself have only crapped myself once while sleeping. I was very, very ill and my body could no longer contain what lay within my velvety bowels. I had a coughing fit upon waking and found myself swimming in a mud-spa without so much as a “Hello! How are you!” from my faecal sleeping chums. It’s nothing to be ashamed of Bones! You should be ashamed of hanging out with shitty underpants though. Very ashamed! Also: shower every day.

Love Art 32

Dear Agony Art I’m having trouble sleeping at night. The only way I can exhaust these insomniac thoughts is to masturbate until climax. What other ways are there to achieve slumbering serenity? And how do you sleep at night?

From Senor Rian Dear Senor Ryan Can I first establish this: there is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself in order to get to sleep. I’ll assume you’re under the age of ninety, so you have every right to have a tug. The fact that you want to have a tug before bed is of no consequence. The fact that you need to have a tug before bed is a small worry. There are these crazy things out there, sent by God for men like you, which can relieve your sexual tension and send you into a never-ending nap-spiral of doom. They are called ‘girls’. Find one. Have a wank inside of one. Then nap until you are satisfied.

Love and lubricant Agony Art Send questions for next year’s Agony Art to adr7@students. waikato.ac.nz

Classic Game Review: Chrono Trigger (Snes/PS1/DS)

By Antony Parnell With the semester coming to a close and the workload increasing, even gaming has had to take a backseat leaving me with nothing to review. Then I noticed that soon, Chrono Trigger is to be released for the Nintendo DS. Normally I would be against reviewing a previous generation game, as fond memories can tend to ignore how truly outdated something has become. However being reincarnated on DS, I feel it is my duty to tell the people that this is an experience not to be missed.

Any good writer would have saved that sentence for near the end but it is the plain truth. It really says something for the game that it is having its third port made, with all three ports on different generation consoles. For its time and for now, Chrono Trigger is a revolutionary game. The story beings innocently enough, with the silent protagonist Chrono going to a fair where his friend is trying her new time travelling machine. From there it is an epic tale spanning different time periods, with several well placed side quest which delve into the history of the individual characters encountered on the journey.

With a game ported from Super Nintendo, it’s no surprise the graphics are nothing to write home about. However the game art was done by

Technology is pretty awesome, because it fights itself. While history has very few documented cases of robot battles, battles have been quietly fought between copper and bronze, wood and iron, and Betamax and VHS amongst other footnotes in our history. As humans find ways to make their lives easy, what happens is that all the different ways of doing it struggle against each other until one proves itself the best, and it becomes the status quo. When the folk with copper tools noticed their neighbours had unbreakable adzes, they probably ditched the copper. The smart ones prayed to Satan to send them some business people, who would have gone next door and said “Who needs adzes when you can have AXES! Real cavemen carry AXES! We’ll give you AXES if you give us your UNBREAKABLE METAL!” If you follow the wood/iron thing it was slow progression, but eventually all the boats got made from metal once folk were cool with it. Whether iron is better or not is irrelevant; iron replaced wood as the go-to material once it was way cheaper for everyone to use it, allowing Joe Salesman to ridicule people who made things out of wood. The Betamax/VHS thing had a financial factor (VHS was cheaper), but it also addressed a need that no-one had really thought of. VHS tapes could record way more TV than Betamax. Betamax even dropped its visual quality down to VHS levels to give it more recording time, but the stigma was already there, and Sony gave up.

I picked those three examples because they highlight enough points

Akira Toriyama, the man known for his creation of the Dragonball series.

This means any anime fan will be in their element as far as character designs go.

It will be many gamers pleasure that Chrono Trigger does not work on a random encounter system. Enemies in certain areas can be seen and avoided, although you will naturally find yourself in battles you didn’t see coming. Combat works very well, but it’s nothing too different from typical Square RPG battles. One excellent feature is the combination techs, where characters can combine individual techniques for greater effect. This works very well in terms of a players ability to customise the parties combat style as they see fit.

One of the most fantastic aspects of Chrono Trigger is the replayability.

Multiple endings and numerous sidequests all help to keep you coming back and constantly exploring the numerous lands and time periods. The time travel works to perfection, providing varied landscapes to explore, but all with clever ties to the different time periods.

The point is, if you own a DS then you must play Chrono Trigger. Even if you are tired of RPG’s or were never a fan in the first place, Chrono Trigger deserves your time. On top of all this, the DS version is said to include a new dungeon, touch screen compatibility and wireless play. Play this game. It will be lodged into your DS for a long time this summer.

in technological history to make my case, and if history has taught us anything, it is that history has taught nothing.

If you accept that: A) Technology is used to solve problems or ease our everyday lives B) There is more than one solution to a given problem B.5) Going from history, there will be conflict on some level between competing technological solutions to a given challenge C) Where there is conflict, there is buck to be made D) Where there is a buck to be made, everything else goes out the window then I ask you to consider the possibility that our next great survival based challenge will be life extension. Steps are already being taken towards this, in two main fields: Robotics and Stem Cell research. They are in their infancy, but both hold the promise of curing what ails us, and then some. Both will eventually be in direct competition with each other, and big money will be involved. There could be a lot of kerfuffle, to say the least. There will be ethical issues, social issues, and all sorts if issues that haven’t been invented yet. Will the church pick a side? Will genetic-supermen be fighting against mechanical terrors? Does that just sound like WWII all over again to anybody? All the shit in history books that makes us wonder “…how?” – can we avoid that? History says no.

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By the time you read this Rialto Cinemas will have closed. Eleven years of art house offerings, Film Festivals, and one-off charity and promotional screenings will have come to an end. Those seeking an alternative to the mainstream, ‘blockbuster’ entertainment options of Village 7 and Chartwell will be have to confine their patronage to Victoria Cinema’s solitary theatre or, to risk shameless self-promotion, DVD rental from Auteur House.

Not everything on Rialto’s programmes was of a high aesthetic standard.

The same sad market realities which have led to its closure often meant that the type of ‘art product’ shown was that which appealed to a middle class audience not overly keen on being challenged. Elderly, respectable ladies tend to warm more to something like “Calender Girls” than, say, “Short Bus”.

John Cameron Mitchell’s sexually explicit camp romp did get unexpected exposure at one infamous Rialto screening when the projectionist made a mistake with the film reels. An audience for Helen Mirren’s “The Queen” was startled by images of a young man going down on himself,

particularly as the chap didn’t look anything like Princes Philip or Charles.

My favourite experiences at Rialto were only slightly less risque. In the early days of this century the lobby area often played host to interesting promotional events. Two organised by the UFM radio station are fondly remembered: a jelly wrestling competition in a paddling pool when a future editor of ‘Nexus’ got down and dirty, showing a little more than she planned too, and a ‘Pimps and Prostitutes’ themed opening of the Incredibly Strange Film Festival featuring many a local celebrity in drag and some priceless blaxploitation oratory by MSU bass player Aaron Watkinson (aka Dudley Fuckwit).

Such nonsense aside, the Rialto that will continue to linger in the mind long after its passing is the one that both introduced new directors and revived seldom-seen-on-the-big-screen masterpieces. It’s the place I discovered “Boogie Nights”, appreciated afresh “8 1/2” and “Touch of Evil” and had a religious epiphany while watching back to back screenings of “Vertigo”. I miss it already.

Reviewed by Joshua Drummond

What an absolutely wonderful movie. Undoubtedly Pixar’s greatest and most original triumph since Monsters Inc, Wall-E harks back to classic movies and animation even as it pushes CGI’s boundaries.

Wall-E, as a character, is the last “living” robot on Earth, and is busy carrying out his function of cleaning up a junked-up planet. His only mate is an indestructible cockroach, and he’s developed a forlorn personality in his hundreds of years of toil. His longing for love is fulfilled with the arrival of the beautiful, sleek and deadly EVA, a robot in an entirely different class to Wall-E. She’s possibly the cutest Pixar creation since the kid in Monsters Inc, and that’s saying something. The audience I saw Wall-E with was comprised of mostly adults, from whom you could hear muffled “Awwww” noises when EVA giggles. Wall-E himself has more in common with the physical comedy of Charlie Chaplin and the lovable awkwardness of early Woody Allen (he even looks a bit like Woody) than other characters Pixar has depicted, but it works wonderfully.

The less said about the story the better for you when you watch it.

Unlike other Pixar movies of late – the Incredibles and Ratatouille 34

– Wall-E is driven far more by character than story. The story’s fine, but it’s basically a framework to hang the very human love story of the main characters off. Yes, Wall-E is a sneaky sci-fi tale about robots and the foibles of their human masters, but at its heart it’s a pure love story, and a touching one at that. Wall-E and EVA are possessed of more character and humanity than most human actors that grace the silver screen, and this is all the more poignant since neither is capable of true speech.

(Incidentally, this is the first Pixar movie to feature live-action, which segues in seamlessly – in no way breaking the fourth wall) The first half of the movie is mostly silent, bar Wall-E and Eva’s bloops and beeps, but this somehow establishes an emotional connection far stronger than I’m used to seeing in any movie. You soon stop thinking you are watching a movie about robots, and realise you are watching a movie about people, and a fantastic one at that.

On a random note, nerds should watch out for the best Mac jokes ever.

Steve Jobs, former CEO of Pixar, clearly had a hand in this one.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society Author: Mary Ann Shaffer Publisher: Allen & Unwin Price: $35.00

BOOK REVIEW

Reviewed by Kelly Badman I wouldn’t be surprised if Guernsey Island, off the coast of England, experiences a surge of tourist popularity on the back of the release of this most enchanting little book, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer.

With descriptions of stunning, sea swept scenery and old fashioned story telling at its uplifting best, this small sweet story is the best tourism brochure imaginable, and a charming novel as well!

It follows author Juliette as she shrugs off her World War II persona of Izzy Bickerstaff, who writes lighthearted fluff to brighten the moods of those embroiled in the despair of war and searches for a new novel topic to re-launch her career.

Along the way she befriends the inhabitants of Guernsey Island and learns of their many joys and sorrows as the only part of England

invaded by the Nazis in WWII, how books unified and saved them and how one woman taught them all what bravery, love, and cunning really was.

Unusually, this small but delightful novel is a series of letters sent amongst the enigmatic cast of characters. It does take a few pages to get used to this different style but your perseverance will be rewarded.

It’s the type of book that stays with you long after you close the last page. In fact two weeks since I put the book down (after devouring it in one sitting) I still wonder how the characters are fairing and what they might be up to now. And in this way, Mary Ann Shaffer, who sadly passed away before the book was published, has done the incredible; she has not only made you care about her rag tag cast, she has made them feel like life long friends.

Love and Rockets: New Stories

By Gilbert, Mario and Jamie Hernandez

Reviewed by Gordon Dawson This comic is weird, and it’s meant to be. Love and Rockets: New Stories, by the worldfamous-in-the-comics scene brothers Jamie, Mario and Gilbert Hernandez (who all write and illustrate different stories in this book) is what comics artists apparently like to read when they’re not creating. It’s easy to see why – this stuff is the antithesis of mainstream. The crisp, often traditional art belies the fact that you’re reading a comic that sometimes reads like it was put together on heavy doses of weed. Gilbert’s stories are particularly trippy.

There’s one about a guy who has holes in his head, for some reason. He eats some wormy food and horrible things happen to him, like his eye exploding. Two jibberish-spouting talk show hosts go to a strange planet and, after a brief falling out, kill all the natives with newly acquired superpowers. There are also a couple of entries in Jamie Hernandez’s ongoing Locas series, which sees curvy heroines Maggie and

Hopey joining a superhero squad in a Silver Age spoof.

I don’t quite know what to make of it all.

It’s not my thing, which is not to say it’s not good – in fact, given the right mindset or background, it could fairly be called brilliant.

It’s the kind of thing I think I should like, but can’t get in to. Having more knowledge of the brother’s considerable backlog would make this thematically-weighty volume easier to digest. It certainly does explore the limits of what comics are capable of, and, largely because of this, Love and Rockets is not a comfortable read.

(I felt the best comparison I could make to other media is that it reminded me of a David Lynch film) But it is certainly a worthy read, if you’re at all interested in what non-mainstream comics are capable of, and I recommend it to anyone who likes some anarchy with their artwork.

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Meeting people is easy: A film by grant gee about radiohead

By Kirill

(Editor’s Note: As far as I can tell, Kirill wrote this while in the early stages of extreme drunkenness. I have preserved his exact spelling and grammar, for future generations, because there are too many mistakes to correct, because it’s the last issue, and so I can laugh at him when he sobers up.)

Let’s start with something simple. If consider yourself a Radiohead fan, watch this. If you don’t at least own OK Computer, than put it down and back away. You can look confused as you do, the effect will be the same.

I’ve wanted to see this ever since I was 15 and saw it at the Warehouse.

I only had a paper route then, so couldn’t afford it. Perhaps it was better that way. Now as the gangly 20-something I am now, I felt awkward about asking for something called meeting people is easy, as many Radiohead fans haven’t heard of it, not to mention blondie behind the counter at SoundZ. But then Nexus gave me a copy, and I am reviewing it.

Let’s start. This is a movie about radiohead, about nothing. Radiohead is in it a lot, but it has less of story line than Spice World, unless of course “Radiohead goes on tour,” counts. You see, radiohead travelling, taking countless photos, recording literally hundreds of radio spots and commercials. It really explains why they always look so glum in photos.

Visually, Meeting people is easy is annoying, awesome, stunning and exactly like the cover for OK Computer, in movie form. I think of it this way, if I were to be given a full editing room, unlimited backstage access to radiohead, old cameras, expired film, the need to make a movie, the urge to smoke weed while putting it together, and being drunk while editing it, this would come out. Chances are I would have spent the

last two weeks looking at Lomography also. But, somehow through it all, it remains watchable. Intriguing even. Oh, and the cover warns that epileptics might have trouble with this movie…they aren’t kidding.

The soundtrack to Meeting people is easy consists entirely of Ok Computer era radiohead songs, along with some experimental stuff.

There is both live and studio recordings, a real good listen if you are a fan, possibly interesting if you’re not.

In the end, Meeting people is easy is one big glorified DVD extra, but one that is worth watching. I would be weary to recommend it to anyone who isn’t a Radiohead fan, and I don’t mean someone who has heard Karma Police and likes the toothy teddy bear from Kid A, I mean someone more dedicated, preferably someone who has most of the albums and has spent significant time with the Ok Computer Cover and book. It is not going to convert anyone to Radiohead (unless they are fans without knowing it), but it certainly will remind a fan why they like them.

DVD comes to Nexus courtesy of Nick’s Music Basement. Cheers Nick for hooking us up with excellent and well-priced music and DVDs for this year. Everyone should definitely go to nicksmusicbasement.co.nz and buy things from him.

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OFF YOUR NEXT PURCHASE AT LK HILLCREST *conditions apply * Voucher only redeemable at LK Hillcrest. Valid till close of trade Sunday 2nd Nov. Excludes all other promotions & discounts. One voucher per person per transaction

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$31.99 0800 4 LK DIRECT 0800 455 347 connects you

to your nearest Liquor King store. HILLCREST Cnr Clyde & York Sts, Hamilton - Phone: 07 856 9170 - Fax: 07 856 9169 - Email: liquorking.hillcrest@lk.co.nz Valid until close of trade Sunday 2nd November 2008 at Hillcrest store only.

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Contact FM End of Semester Party Heaps of bands including The Shrugs, Sumo Love Machine, The Prime Numbers and Laughter In The Mainsail.

Fri 17 Oct 2008 Cost: $10 Time: From 6pm Where: The Wailing Bongo (WSU), University of Waikato, Gate 2b, WSU building Further details: Contact FM 07 858 5050 (Studio) contact@contactfm. co.nz www.contactfm.co.nz Exhibition of Woodcuts by Marty Vreede; A Journey Reversed.

A Journey Reversed is a series of work created as a result of an Artists’ Residency at the Pompallier Mission. The Residency is at the Historic Places Trust property in Kororareka, Bay of Islands.

Wed 08 Oct 2008 - Sun 30 Nov 2008 Cost: Free Time: Saturday - Tuesday 10am - 4pm Where: Baffin Street Gallery, 812 Baffin Street, Pirongia Further details: Hilary Ramage 07 871 9890 hilary@hilaryramage.co.nz www. baffinstreetgallery.co.nz ‘Meadows’ Kamini Nair

Featuring large mixed media works by Sandz artist Kamini Nair. Opening 5pm-7pm Friday 17th October Fri 17 Oct 2008 - Fri 28 Nov 2008 Cost: Free Time: Open 8.30am-5.30pm weekdays, 9-2 Saturday Where: The Framing Workshop, 120 Silverdale Rd, Hamilton Further details: The Framing Workshop s.marston@clear.net.nz Landscapes and Costal Scenes Paintings by Loreen Anscombe. Loreen is a member of the Artnexus group of artists.

Wed 01 Oct 2008 - Sun 30 Nov 2008 Cost: Free Time: 9.00 am to 5.00 pm Where: Hillcrest Healthcare Centre, Cnr Cambridge Road and Masters Avenue, Hamilton Further details: Yvonne Anscombe 07 828 9010 yvonnea@slingshot.co.nz www. artnexus.co.nz Artist Talk Artist Brett Graham will talk about the famous installation “Aniwaniwa” he created with digital artist Rachel Rakena. Brett’s father, Fred Graham will recall the experience of the flooding of the village Horahora.

Sat 01 Nov 2008 Cost: Free

Time: 2pm Where: Waikato Museum, 1 Grantham Street Further details: Leafa Wilson 07 883 6606 leafa.wilson@hcc.govt.nz www. waikatomuseum.co.nz Pacifica Party - Hamilton Gardens Summer Festival 2009 The Hamilton Gardens Summer Festival is currently looking for Pacifica performers for the opening night Mardi Gras, as the 2009 theme is a celebration of all things Pacifica.

The performances could include traditional or contemporary dance, music and percussion.

We are also looking for stall holders to sell traditional food and traditional artists.

Mon 15 Sep 2008 - Thu 15 Jan 2009 Cost: FREE Time: 6.30pm Further details: Nadine Lee - Hamilton Gardens Summer Festival 07 859 1317 nadine.hgsff@ xtra.co.nz www.hamiltongardens.co.nz Comments: View comments Pecha Kucha night Vol 2 Now calling for expressions of interest for Pecha Kucha night Vol 2, venue to be announced.

Mon 03 Nov 2008 Cost: Free Time: Doors open 7:30 , speakers start 8:20

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