issue 25

Issue 25 路 16 October 2006

Nexus Awards & Year in Review 路 Op Shops in Htown 路 Tattoos

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

YOUR SAY

Steve the Ginga 1. Adventure 2. Summer school 3. I liked Uncle Jim and the mature students issue because it had a photo of Steve Irwin in it. Uncle Jim should have 2 pages next year- double the fun! And more Steve Irwin!

4. Jesus or Buddha 5. He looks like a mooloo pony…almost bovine - is he a cow crossed with a horse?

1.What are you planning to do this summer?

2. What are you planning not to do this summer?

3. How has Nexus done this year, and what could it add for next year?

4. Who would you like to meet on the beach this summer?

5. What do you think of my horse?

Keagan 1. Sleep 2. Work and try not to get murdered or mugged at the Outback 3. Chuck and Benjo, and more of Chuck and Benjo!

4. Chuck Norris because he can protect me in the Outback- no one messes with Chuck Norris!

5. He’s weird looking… did you buy him because all the other horses were mean to him because he’s coloured? Poor coloured horse, he’s going to have a shit time with all the white horses hating on him.

Tim 1. Lose the anti tan 2. Catch a urinary tract infection 3. Female nudity 4. Britney Spears, so I can take her kids off her.

5. He’s fantastic, I’d love to ride into battle with that between my thighs.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Marcus 1. Work 2. Get laid 3. Topless birds 4. Keira Knightly 5. He’s cool, but I don’t think he likes me.

(He doesn’t, for some reason)

By Rachael

Renee and Phil 1. R: I’m going to have a baby and write letters to pirates P: Drink Dad’s homebrew 2. R: Drink P: Not even look at a law book 3. R: I would read Nexus if it had aliens that have projectile smellers coming out of their nose in it P: Good movie reviews, needs more biting, satirical articles written by people with brains.

4. R: Ahmed Zaoui because that would mean he was free to wander around NZ and he should be free!

P: Salma Hayek 5. R: I’m scared of horses, but I’d feed him grass over a fence because he looks like he’s been splattered by mud from a passing car.

P: He’s purrrdy

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Expressions of interest are invited for the position of

Nexus Editor This position will commence in March 2007 and is full time.

The editor is responsible for producing Nexus magazine every week of the university year, the student diary, the Nexus wallplanner and any other publications required.

Editing Nexus is an ideal opportunity for those seeking a media career or more editorial freedom.

Applicants should have strong English skills and preferably some experience in journalism. They should also be capable of coordinating a variety of volunteers and groups, and be in touch with student issues.

Send expressions of interest to: Attn: Board of Directors Nexus Publications 2003 Ltd Private Bag 3059

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Hamilton

PARTY ON

Party Review

By Skot and JR

Town Party Scene: What a year to remember!

Well it’s finally come to an end. I’m hanging up my party pencil and JR’s off to photograph schoolgirls once again. This will be out last article. I hope our successors can surpass our stamina of the year-long party! I can’t begin to explain how awesome this year has been. Thanks to those of you that welcomed JR and myself into your flats/21sts/18ths/gang parties etc, I’d like to say your hospitality will never be forgotten but thanks to the copious amount of free piss we drunk I can’t remember fuck all.

I’ve received numerous text messages over the year for an unmasked photo of the “856” a local Hillcrest gang whose party I reviewed in the year. After much consultation with the “856” they finally agreed, I hope the picture doesn’t offend anyone too much. This article is dedicated to the best party events of the year. You know who you are and it’s because of people like you that make being a student at Waikato marginally bearable.

3 Worst Parties of the Year 3 Pussy Party. Seriously, who has a party for a cat?

2 856 party. One too many shizzles for my nizzle 1 Four guys, six beers, and two fat chicks. Do I need to say any more?

3 Best Parties of the Year 3 JR’s birthday party. He made me write this 2 The stripper. Such a cold night, so little clothes on.

1 Hermit in the park. This is as good as it gets, people. If you want to party in the Waikato you got to party ADG style.

At least 50 Cent didn’t have anal sex like Jon Davis did, with his dad.

Did you do all right on the test last week? Yea of course! I passed with flying carpets!

Hey my name’s Steve, my friends call me dirty Steve.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Top Three Quotes of the Year!

Send all abusive txts to 0274 279 319

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CREDITS EDITOR

Dawn Tuffery nexus@waikato.ac.nz DESIGNER

Matt Scheurich graphics@nexus.npl.co.nz ADVERTISING MANAGER

Tony Arkell admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz 021 1766 180 NEWS EDITOR IN ABSENTIA

Joshua Drummond news@nexus-npl.co.nz MUSIC EDITOR

M. Emery htownslut@gmail.com BOOKS EDITOR

Michelle Coursey FEATURES

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NEWS

Nexus’ Half-Assed Year in Review We’re lazy

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Op Shopping in Htown The run down on op shopping

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Unbeatable Tattoos for Summer Faceleg interviews a tattooist

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Nexus Awards We dish out awards to ourselves and others!

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

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bro’Town!

An interview with the producer!

8-13 Nexus at the ASPAs Critic Wins ASPAs Arty L Block PR Makeover for WSU Tertiary Staffing Cuts 2007 NZUSA elections Emos have a ball New PI Advocate Short Shorts Nexus Haiku News 16

Nexus Reader Survey!

FEATURES

Dawn, Josh, Petra Jane, Faceleg CONTRIBUTORS THIS ISSUE: Andrew Neal, Boulanger, Uncle Jim, Josh, Dawn, Matt, Isa, Petra Jane, Skot, JR, CJ, Macca, Burton, Chuck, Benjo, Vitamin C, Special K, Gary, Nick, Brie, Hazazel, Joe Citizen, Leigh McGeady, Kazuma, The Panther, Shameem, WSU. Nexus: Always there for you.

Visit www.nexusmag.co.nz The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus Publications 2003 Ltd, any of our advertisers, WSU or APN Media.

REGULARS 3 5 7 14 24 25 26 30 33

I Got 5 On It Party Review Editorial Lettuce Gig Guide Gig Info Uncle Jim WSU Columns Notices

34 35 35 36 36 37 37 38 38

Split Decision Rage in a Cage Word Freak Guide to Society Magic 8 Ball Boganology Classic Rock Review Killing Time Muscle Man Tips

39 40 40 42 43 44 45 45 46

Comix Flat Feed Restaurants Citric DVDs Books Films Rialto Check Busted!

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

Send love letters to: Nexus Publications 2003 Ltd Private Bag 3059 Hamilton

Editorial

By Dawn

Editorial of Love Flick ahead to the Uncle Jim or Busted if you wish. This is the inevitable sappy Oscar speech of a final editorial which could probably be summed up in about 7 words: You guys rock, have a nice summer.

I’ve contributed heavily to Nexus for two years and then edited for another two (come March).

Long enough to think it’s time to hand over to somebody else’s vision, so as of sometime in the new term you’ll have a brand new editor.

If you like late nights, hate mail and correctly placed apostrophes, this job is for you! See the ad on page 4. Despite the long hours and the fact that you’ll never please everybody, it’s an awesome job to have and I recommend it. You have freedom, flexibility, promotional perks (from books to chocolate to alcohol), and the chance to work with great people. Such as all Nexus’ staff and contributors, for instance. Nobody has to write for us, but the more that do, the better it gets. Nexus is as good as the people who contribute to it, and its reputation will rise and fall accordingly.

finished on time, but he’s consistently managed to provide a huge amount of quality content.

Occasionally he’s produced 6 pages of news, a 5000 word feature, a page of Busted! photos, a ‘Player’ game review and various other things, all in one Nexus. And money man and professional charmer Tony has patiently sat in the corner keep us ticking over and putting up with some freaky desktop pictures appearing.

Olivia, Brie, Kat, Sam (x 3), Jeff, Danielle, Caleb, Macca, Hannah, Amy, Chris + Kirill, Dave, Skot + JR, Rocky, Rachael, Jamie, Dean, Chris (x 2), Petra Jane, Heather, Ross, Kym, Leigh, Joe, Nick (x 3), Kazuma, Tovah, Shane, Holly, Serenity, Emily, Virginia, Jess (x 4), Simon, Jessica, Keith, Matthew, Lucy, Kerra, Sanaz, Aki, Chloe, Etta, Jerode, Peni, ASPA newswire, and everybody else who’s contributed to Nexus in some way this year – you’re awesome. Couldn’t do it without ya.

Despite the frustrations and late nights, I couldn’t think of other people I’d rather spend 50 hours a week with. I mean, until this year I was ignorant of cameltoes, Suicide Girls and ‘sneaking boots’. I also have developed cringeworthy associations with hand puppets. So huge thanks to Josh, Matt and Tony, possibly the best workmates you could have.

Thanks to all our advertisers who help keep Nexus alive each week. You have excellent taste in media. Do come back next year. Thanks to the runners from the Hawks who’ve helped keep me sane on Thursdays. Cheers to the WSU, especially those who love us, and to Sehai for the many meetings and discussions over Puzzle Bobble.

Thanks also to my long suffering love Carl who puts up with me coming back at 3am and all the whinging on Nexus issues. On top of that he’s had the living room invaded by taniwha components and glue for months on end. It’s not easy being with a preoccupied and messy editor, but I truly appreciate all the support.

for poverty and Puzzle Bobble. We scooped him out of the graphic designer applicants as the new year dawned and haven’t regretted it once.

He designed a great student diary in two weeks, and has proceeded to make Nexus look better

bringing a variety of bands to your attention and keeping up with all the local goss. This was complemented nicely by Mazzy’s gig guide.

Newsboy Andrew Neal is a recent recruit who has improved no end over a matter of weeks

Make sure you sign up for Nexus 2007 and don’t wait to be told what to do. If you want to write, write. Find the stories and use the opportunities.

Ex Salient editor and now Listener writer Sarah

and better. Having seen his beautiful covers, imaginative feature layouts and excellent usage of cat pianos, I predict Matt will have a huge future if he chooses. Also, the Nexus forum (120+ users as I write) wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for Matt. Instead of bantering about emos you’d all have to actually study or something.

and will hopefully continue to next year. We need more like him. Did you know Hazazel reviewed all those eating establishments out of her own purse? How about some free vouchers next year, restaurants? Gary never seemed to run out of bad jokes and good information.

Barnett said it well in her ASPA awards speech.

To paraphrase, student media provides what journalism school can’t – the opportunity to go out into the world having developed your own individual voice. You can do and learn so much with Nexus.

Ah hell, I’d love to individually namecheck everybody, but there are wordcount issues.

But to Mo, Rocky, Burton, CJ, Macca, Sophie,

Arohanui to you all. Nexus out.

Gonzo newsman Josh may not ever get the news

Designer’s Wank

place... I lost my train of thought. Anyway, it’s been a lot of fun this year designing Nexus and

One year down, another to go. From all the late night thursdays where Dawn, Josh and I have munched over Hell’s Pizza, Noodle Canteen and indian stuff from that Peachgrove road

it’ll be a shame to not have Dawn next year as she is a pretty rad editor and lets me get away with stuff and bully her around. Thanks for putting up with me! I know how hard it is.

Nexus is one damn fun thing to be involved

By Matt

with. Would have been cool to cause more troubs but I’m glad we didn’t get sued this year.

I want to thank all our contributors the most for supporting us by giving us content. That was most supreme of you! I’m trying to sort t-shirts but it looks like you’ll have to pay if you want one. :( Have a good holiday! Don’t die on me.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

One huge influence on Nexus ‘06 has been the mighty Matt, who left his job of riches and fame

Michelle Coursey has been an excellent books editor, well organised and erudite. Michelle is a great example of a busy journo student who, despite having other high profile opportunities and making the most of them, recognised the benefits of contributing to Nexus on the side. I’m sure she’ll be editing the Herald or something eventually. Matt E did a great job as music ed,

Nexus at the ASPAs

By Josh Drummond

Nexus went out in force to the 2006 ASPA awards, taking a crew of eight staff/contributors/hangers on to Auckland University’s Shadows Bar. Uncle Jim was invited, but opted not to show due to “other commitments,” which were probably jail, internet porn, or The Muppet Show.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

The night kicked off with an open bar, which the Nexus crew were quick to take advantage of. The prizes were read out by host Wallace Chapman, with the “Big Three,” magazines (Auckland University’s Craccum, Otago’s Critic and Victoria’s Salient) taking out pretty much all the first place awards.

WSU pages and banner felt “out of place” in the magazine. It finished positively by saying Matt’s work on the magazine left him “unlucky not to place.”

Editor Dawn Tuffery said she was pleased with the Nexus efforts over the year, and felt the tough competition reflected an improvement in student magazines across the board. Over the course of the day, Dawn appeared on page 2 of the Waikato Times for winning a race and also picked up two category wins and the supreme title at the Oresome Wearable Arts Awards, so was in a good mood by the end of the night.

Nexus, in a shock felt by all, won no first prizes for anything. However, two second equal prizes were picked up, the first by Nexus editor Dawn Tuffery for ‘Best Editorial’. The Listener’s Denis Welch commented that there was very little to choose between Dawn and winner Ryan Sproull. “Both write intelligently, thoughtfully and informatively about serious issues; but Dawn’s writing is livelier and more concise.” Another second placing came later - ‘Best Feature Writer’ for Nexus news editor, Josh Drummond, who doesn’t usually refer to himself in the third person but is doing so here for

No other prizes/placings were picked up in Auckland, but after a hasty, drunken conference during an opportune fire evacuation, the Nexus crew agreed to create several new categories for the competition: Best Dancing (won unanimously

by Nexus, with second going to Craccum,) Best Comment to a National TV Crew (taken out by Nexus’ Vitamin C, with “any hole’s a goal!” to the Studentville) “Best Volunteer News Writer Who Only Wrote Fake News,” went to Nexus’ Nick Maarhuis, and “Most Best Book Reviewer Who Was Sadly Overlooked,” was brought home

by Michelle Coursey, or ‘Michelle Coursey’s Bee-atch’, depending on which name badge she wore. “Lamest Pickup Line” went to Studentville, who asked Michelle if she’d set the fire alarm off

some reason.

“because she was so hot”.

Matt Scheurich’s work on graphics attracted favorable comments from the judges, who said his general layout was “great. Nice shifts between two and three columns, and excellent use of boxed areas to break up and divide stories. Great cover designs”. Another comment was that the

“The Quiet One Award,” went to Gary Oliver, who more than made up for his ignominious prize with later drinking and strip-club-visiting. The Awards wound up with most of the student journalists visiting karaoke bars. The less said about that, the better.

Critic wins ASPAs. Nexus comes second in some things. Everybody gets drunk

By Josh Drummond

Otago University’s student publication Critic was named the best publication by a panel of media experts for the second year running, at the annual Aotearoa Student Press Association awards held in Auckland on Saturday, October 7 in association with the NZ Listener.

Critic scooped five of the 14 categories, including Best Columnist, Best Reviewer, Best Feature Writer and Best News Writer. Victoria University’s Salient placed second and Auckland University’s Craccum third.

Massey University’s Wellington Campus publication Magneto took out the Best Small Publication category. Other winners on the night included Craccum editor Ryan Sproull (Best Editorial Writer), Critic’s John Hartevelt (Best News Writer) and Ryan Brown-Haysom (Best Feature Writer).

Although student magazines are often associated with controversial issues, this year judges commented on the number of investigative stories on tertiary education, which were broken in student media before being picked up by television and newspapers.

The Aotearoa Student Press Association comprises 13 publications from the country’s university and polytechnic campuses. This was the fifth annual ASPA prize giving and the third held in association with The Listener.

Arty L Block

By Andrew Neal

L Block has received a spruce-up from some colourful graffiti art over the last week thanks to School of Education artist Andreas Ernst.

By Josh Drummond The art, which features bright colours and geometric designs, and graphic scenes of puppy death, was an idea for the Special Art Project paper by Ernst who has been a graffiti artist for 17 years.

Ideas about doing the graffiti art were pitched to senior lecturer Donn Ratana and then taken to the building managers who gave the go ahead and even provided the materials.

Ernst, a German art student who has been at Waikato University for three months says that his art is “not so easy to explain”. He also says his art evolved from a typical style of graffiti art like “gangsta” lettering and he then started to do “different stuff” with geometric forms and more graphic work.

The L Block art is described as medium sized wall by Ernst, and some of the artworks he has done in the past in many places across the world have ranged up to 180 metres square, like one he did for a recycling company in Germany. This and other graffiti art by Ernst can be viewed at www.inzoolo.de.

Columns on the wall created great effects and a new dimension to the painting making it more interesting to paint, according to Ernst. One student even said that they’d never noticed the columns sticking out of the wall until they had been painted.

Groups of Waikato University Management students presented their ideas for a public relations campaign for the Waikato Students Union last Thursday night at the Performing Arts Centre.

The teams, each made up of several students, were competing for the fifth annual Chesterman Group Public Relations Campaign Award.

The groups held ten minute presentations for judges and a packed audience on how they planned to create a successful PR campaign for the WSU. According to their brief, the challenge was to “devise a campaign, base d on their own research, for which they develop a strategy, goal, objectives, and activities relevant to the issues they identified, as well as providing an appropriate budget for the campaign, as well as developing methods of evaluating the campaign in order to judge its success.” The students had five minutes after the presentations to field judges’ questions.

The teams had interesting ideas for their PR campaigns, according to the judges. The winning group Magnum PR suggested a “Running of the Fools,” in which students would don tails and be chased by the Waikato Chiefs, and (intriguingly) that future WSU election booths should take the form of tepees.

Other teams’ PR campaign ideas included such original suggestions as “building relationships with student representatives”. Others suggested a WSU Ball, staging a film festival (and charging for tickets) and setting up WSU billboards, on which advertisements and messages could be displayed. One group suggested changing WSU’s name to “Waikato University Student’s Association,” (WUSA) but was told, to their slight embarrassment, that this had already been the case in the past.

Photos of the event on page 32.

ONE SIDE OF THE ART WORK WHILST IN PROGRESS

Oops. Screwed up a bit in the last issue. Josh accidentally put an extra zero on a number in one of the stories he wrote. See if you can guess where!*

*Hint: It was in the Te Ranga Ngaku story, and it was $13,600, not $136, 000.

Also, K. Brown took the picture of the tree

beating up the cars.

Oh and, Karl, Tovah and Tom would like everyone to know it was them in the Santa suits last issue. Ok?

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

University Vice-Chancellor Roy Crawford said that he “swelled with pride” to see the students taking the stage and that they were assured excellent futures at the University and in their careers.

Tertiary Staffing Cuts Likely Nationwide

By Chris Leggett and Matt Russell

Auckland University is the latest in a string of tertiary institutions announcing their intentions to reduce staff numbers in response to falling student numbers. The university has proposed to make about 13 positions redundant from the English, art history and European languages departments following a 4.5 per cent student

and the University of Canterbury have expressed their intention to lower staffing levels. Massey is said to be considering retirement packages or non-renewal of certain fixed term contracts, whereas Lincoln is looking to drop up to 10 staff from under-performing programmes. The University of Canterbury has been in discussion

decline in the arts faculty over the last two years.

over staff cuts for much of this year. Last year, Waikato University used a 5 per cent decline in student numbers to lay off almost 30 staff.

Head of Department for the Faculty of Arts at Auckland University, Professor Peter Simpson, failed to return ASPA’s calls. ASPA understands that all but one of the department’s 22 staff must reapply for their jobs by next month.

Previously, Massey University, Lincoln University

Massey University’s Palmerston North campus magazine Chaff acquired a copy of a memorandum sent from the Pro Vice Chancellor Humanities, Professor Barrie MacDonald to staff in the School of Sociology, Social Policy and Social

Work outlining significant staff and course cuts in for 2007. The memorandum states up to 25 per cent of the School’s budget may be axed, at least one programme is to be deleted, and up to 5-6 academic staff positions could be removed.

The memo states that a voluntary retirement opportunity will be offered to outgoing staff, but notes that if the School is unable to achieve “adequate savings” by voluntary resignations, then there may be future forced redundancies.

Chaff has learned that similar staffing reviews are underway both in the Computer Science and Information Systems.

Association of University Staff (AUS) general secretary Helen Kelly told the Sunday Star Times that the lay-offs were due to “incompetent managers” at universities nationwide. “They show a lack of understanding about what makes a university. It is not just bums on seats but also about collaboration and investment,” she says.

2007 NZUSA Election results in; Co-President role still vacant

By Richard Bol (Craccum)

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

The second set of NZUSA elections for the

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2007 executive has reached an inconclusive result for the second Co-President position, with neither Xavier Goldie (Education VicePresident of Auckland University Students’ Association) or Toni Spiro (President of Wellington Institute of Technology Students’ Association) attaining the required twothirds voting majority (52 votes out of 78) from the NZUSA electoral college. The outcome mirrors that of the first set of NZUSA elections held at the organisation’s September conference, where none of the four candidates for the second Co-President role triumphed, but 2006 Co-President Joey Randall won a second term with overwhelming support.

`post’ of 52 votes. The results for the two However, this second set of elections, held by teleconference on October 12, did produce a definite result for the National Women’s Rights Officer (NWRO) position.

Natalie Absalom (Co-President of Otago Polytechnic Students’ Association) received a resounding 71 of the 78 available votes.

Absalom was very happy at her election win.

“It’s going to be hard work but it will be an amazing experience and I’m determined to do well,” she declared.

While Goldie achieved a clear lead over Spiro in the election’s three rounds, the large number of votes for No Confidence prevented him from reaching the two-thirds

candidates and No Confidence differed little over the three rounds, with Goldie recording 29 votes in the first round, 30 in the second and 28 in the final vote. Spiro received 11, 9 and 12 respectively, while No Confidence’s tally weighed in at 31, 32 and 31. Abstentions sat at 7, 6 and 7.

A further set of elections for the second Co-President position will be held in midNovember, at training for the presidents of NZUSA’s member associations.

By Josh Drummond

An “Emo Ball” has been manufactured by Hamilton enterprise Durden, Inc, in order to enable people to “emo bash” with “all of the fun and none of the blood, whining and runny mascara.”

“The ball is a way for people to take out their frustrations,” said John “Maverick” Carter, CEO of Durden. “We understand that most people really hate emo folk, but we don’t want to see even sub-humans hurt. We’re very humane – we’ve always supported animal rights. The ‘emo ball’ is a way for right-thinking people to take out their frustrations without actually hurting any of the androgynous little freaks,” The emo ball has been issued on a limited basis to selected media outlets throughout the country. Nexus obtained a prototype, and the staff can vouch for the satisfactory performance of the ball.

“It’s great,” said an enthusiastic volunteer tester. “I can kick that bastard emo ball around as much as I bloody well want, without getting arrested or being flamed on emo internet forums for real-life emo baiting. It’s poetry in motion.”

Carter said that the ball was specifically tailored for “rugby-heads and munters.”

“We’re aware that much of Hamilton’s student population consists largely of these two demographics, and we wanted to make sure we catered for them,” he said. “That’s why we shaped the emo-ball like a rugby ball. With time, we hope that the All Blacks will use one.”

The emo-ball will be available for purchase at selected liquor outlets, sporting goods stores and car-parts shops soon.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

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NEWS

New PI Advocate Has Big Smile, White Teeth Pacific Island students at the University of Waikato have a new advocate on campus. Fred Rohorua has been appointed to the newly established position of Pacific Student Liaison Coordinator.

An experienced teacher and university lecturer, Rohorua is to oversee the academic success of the roughly 400 Pacific Island students at the University. His office is the first to be a centralized place of support for Pacific Islanders.

“For me, the important thing is the physical presence of this office for Pacific Island students,” he said. “It’s up to me now to bring awareness to students that I am here.”

Originally from the Samoan Islands, Rohorua lived with his family in Fiji before moving to Hamilton in 2001. The father of five teenagers, Rohorua has spent the past four years working on his doctoral dissertation in development studies in the School of Maori & Pacific Development. His wife, Hala, is a senior teacher in Waikato University’s Foundation Studies Centre.

degree programs,” Rohorua said.

Rohorua’s position is funded by the Tertiary Education Commission to promote and improve

Pacific Island student mentors exist in each academic school at Waikato, Rohorua said.

the success of Pacific Islanders at the tertiary level, he said. And not just Pacific Island students coming here to study, but specifically young Pacific Islanders who have grown up in New Zealand.

His job is to centralize and coordinate those mentoring services. He wants to be someone Pacific Island students turn to with questions, problems or concerns.

“The objective of the funding is to help Pacific Island students enrol in and complete their

“I see my role as a coordinator,” he said. “If a student needs academic, financial or counselling help, I’ll know where to refer them.”

Short Shorts!

WESMO – BBT! With most of the car built, the WESMO team is working to finish all the smaller parts and finer details. The moulds for the body panels are almost ready to produce composite panels from. The car is being dyno tuned on friday, at Wintec’s dynometer facility. WESMO will be at the Big Boys Toys expo in Auckland, so come up and have a look at the car. WESMO will also be at the world rally champs in Mystery Creek in November.For updates check out the website, www.wesmo.co.nz.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Read this if you’re stupid. Or three.

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Two of the biggest names in children’s entertainment are coming to New Zealand for the first time in a special double header event that will without doubt create pandemonium amongst toddlers.

Bob the Builder and Barney will be presenting their very own shows, lasting approximately 30 minutes each, with an interval in between the shows. Both Bob the Builder and Barney are household names in New Zealand with their shows amongst the most popular and highest rating on TV3.

Bob the Builder will be presenting his “Bobs Big Surprise show”.

Joining Bob on stage will be his friends Wendy, Pilchard and Spud. www.ticketdirect.co.nz or phone 07-958-5858 for bookings.

NEWS

The Very Last Nexus Haiku News of the Year

By Josh Drummond, with special guests Vitamin C and Uncle Jim!

Labour supporters to be asked to pay back election spending Labour-ites subsidise Election spend, supersize: Eight hundred grand!

Manager masterminded own bank’s robbery Followed robbers out Shouldn’t have said “Good job bro!”

Transaction declined.

Google buys YouTube One point five billion For a site that makes no cash Free porn for us all!

Bowie joins cast of “Spongebob Squarepants” Dancing in the streets Of Bikini Bottom, what Are you, Ziggy?

Tara Reid fixes boob job Written by Vitamin C. Nexus does not

Doctor found guilty of 26 sex charges Checking vaginas “You might feel a small prick now.”

“But, my arm’s broken!”

Yankees pitcher piloted crashed plane Stupid yank flew plane into tower, terrified citizens cower.

endorse the view that Tara Reid is hot.

Hottest girl ever Has decent tits again Surgery is good.

Telecom pinged record $3.3m for double billing Deserves all it loses A bully for years, Telecom gets bruises.

Keisha Castle-Hughes pregnant at age 16 A special guest Haiku by Uncle Jim

Plane versus building Five years on, but less success Hero of twelve-ten.

Look over there! The father!

It’s him!

Unhappily, not Uncle Jim.

Transit’s toll plan could cost Auckland motorists $10 a trip Paying up to ten a trip Worth it, if It eases congestion’s grip.

Be sad, for there will be no more Haikus this year “Bye,” - from the News Ed.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Another one…

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Hey! It’s the last ever issue this year. No more lettuce this year but if you want to continue discussion about Nexus and/or University related stuff, hop on to www.nexusmag.co.nz!

Lettuce Policy

Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page – serious or otherwise. Letters should be no more than 250 words and received by 5pm on the Tuesday before publication. All letters will generally be printed so give it a bash, but the editor retains the right to abridge or refuse correspondence.

Bad spelling and grammar will not be corrected. Pseudonyms are acceptable but all letters must include your real name and contact details even if you don’t want them printed (and they won’t be printed!). We discourage the use of pseudonyms for serious letters.

Letter of the Week MSO – WTF? I’m still trying to comprehend the MSO’s attempts to put her “collective thoughts on paper” in last week’s column. Who exactly is in Renee’s collective, and why can’t any of them string together a coherent statement?

If the WSU levy was accounted for “to the nth degree” in a previous Nexus, then how can there still be “no recognition of the true amount of money being spent on Nexus”?

Does Renee mean that WSU is slipping Nexus money from somewhere other than the student levy? And if so, how it constitutes a “further waste of their money”? DOES NOT COMPUTE! And while I’m abusing the CapsLock, I’m still at an absolute loss to understand Renee’s final comment: “IF BUDGETS WERE SET IN CONCRETE, THEY LIKE ATTITUDES WOULD BE THE CRUSTY BLOCKS THAT DIVIDE HUMANS FROM GOOD COMMON SENSE”.

The world is full of love.

Dear Miss Sunshine this is a reply poem to your letter you sent in last week. After much research, both scientific and philosophical i found that the world in fact is full of love: The sun is shining The grass is green People are mining And your not mean.

Flowers smell nice You are Neat Some eat rice While others eat meat.

Lolliepops are yum I think you are cute Coke goes with rum And i feel sorry for the mute.

Love comes in all sizes It fills this earth My love for you rises And started at birth.

NB I dedicate this to Erin Cave Japanese Girl.

I thought this column had been about holding Nexus more financially accountable, but now

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Renee seems to suggest that setting Nexus’s budget “in concrete” will “divide humans from good common sense”. This sounds like a bad thing. Things that lack “good common sense” hurt my brain -- things like accusatory, ambiguously-worded WSU exec columns.

If certain parties in the WSU want to hold Nexus to account, maybe they can start with the quality of its own 8-page spread. Renee’s column was inflammatory, poorly researched, unreferenced and barely literate. I for one expect more from my share of the $1250-perissue WSU Student Levy contribution. petra jane Come get your $5 Campus Kiosk voucher!

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Much more love CK eatalot

Nexus propups

Have you heard about the farmer who couldn’t keep his hands off his wife?

He had to fire them all.

People should make time to think of suitable & appropriate domain names for their business. The following domains are real.

Firstly there is, ‘Who Represents’ a database for agencies to the rich and famous: http://www.whorepresents.com Second is the ‘Experts Exchange’, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views: http://www.expertsexchange.com Looking for a pen? Look no further than ‘Pen Island’: http://www.penisland.net Need a therapist? Try ‘Therapist Finder’ http://www.therapistfinder.com And last but not least, we have the ‘Mole Station Native Nursery’, based in New South Wales: http://www.molestationnursery.com

Re the ed column last week, Id just like to say yay for nexus. Damn right it’s the best thing WSU does for us. The only improvment I’d like to see is having less pages with all the boring guff on in the middle. But good stuff nexus, keep it up.

Kay

Gary’s Final Jerk Jokes Writer: What do you think of my joke book? Give me your honest opinion.

Editor: It isn’t worth anything.

Writer: I know, but give it to me anyway.

This is a really long letter but lucky for them we have space to fill.

I refuse to believe that chivalry is dead.

I don’t sleep with lots of people. In fact, it’s quite an exclusive club. And I mean exclusive, not like being a member of the WSU, but more being a member of say the AKA. Not that I’ve slept with other members of the AKA, hmm, perhaps I should start again.

People I know seem to revel in sleeping with as many people as possible. Quite possibly at the same time, or juggling a different bedbug

LETTUCE

every day for a week. Now I’m not debating the enjoyment that can be had by sticking your long thing in the wet spot or vice versa, I am bitter because that isn’t a part of my nature. I am however, a hopeless romantic.

Instead of going to the Outback with my polo shirt from Hallensteins ($39.95, has the little stag picture, you know the one), my homohawk, and my five friends who all look exactly like me, but with different coloured shirts (one guy wanted to have a different hair cut, but we told him that he couldn’t hang with us anymore if he didn’t follow the uniform), finding a girl wearing those halterneck tops and the short shorts (stubbies wouldn’t be an appropriate term, yet I’m pretty sure that’s what they are), and then me and my five friends get dunk and hook up and have sex with her and her five friends (probably not in the same location, mostly likely just down the hall from them), I’ve decided to stick with courting woman the old fashioned way (and apologising for such a difficult to read sentence).

Am I a fool for this? To think that perhaps the way to a woman’s heart is not through my Just Cuts haircut and my 1989 Mitsubishi Gallant VR4, but instead through finding a woman, talking to

her, slowly dissolving her defences using my verbal wit and charm and humorous observations. To not try and jump in her after the first ten minutes but instead to woo and court her, to txt her when she least expects it, and to invite her around to watch DVDs and keep my hands to myself, at least, until she asks otherwise, does this make me a fool for wanting this more than just random sex?

And don’t think Emo kids get away with shit likely here, no, I’ve seen your kind. You appear to be dismal knights in dark armour, something different from other stereotypes, a smart person who’s not afraid of their emotions, yet you cook a meal for her, claim to be soul mates, then do a different girl in your bed to the one you did the night before? That makes you as romantic as it makes Russell Simmons the idol of straight men

then never think about him in romantic terms, but you will however compare other guys to him and tell him that you wish said other guys were more like this friend because he’s everything you want in a real nice guy, except not actually this guy, because you don’t want to lose this guy. Great.

If some or all or none of this makes sense, that’s fine with me. I guess I write this with the hope that there are some girls out there who think the romance way of doing things is sometimes better than the Outback way of doing things.

Have a nice day!

AKA Basically This

or Ford winning at Bathurst this year (both pretty unlikely).

I guess I’m just a little tired. The problem with being romantic is that girls confuse it for best friend material. You find someone nice, he likes you, he’s a little charming, but he just doesn’t have that spark, that raw passion, so you dump him in your best friend category for oh, say twice the length that the universe has been around, and

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

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Reader Survey We and the Waikato Students’ Union would like to know more about our readers so we’re presenting you with this survey to fill out and send to us! If you don’t want to bother with the whole “dropping it off at the WSU reception in the SUB Building” business, then you can always do the survey online:

www.nexusmag.co.nz/survey For those who decide to fill in their physical or web-based surveys, you’ll go into the draw to win prizes!

We have a $50 Metropolis Voucher, a $50 Don Llewellyn’s Bar Tab and a $20 Momento Voucher for three lucky people who send in their completed surveys. Thanks heaps to the WSU, Metropolis Cafe & Restaurant, Don Llewellyn’s Bar and Momento Cafe for being so kind and generous.

Please circle the option that best describes your feelings Scale: 1 - Strongly Agree, 5 - Strongly Disagree

1. I look forward to reading the latest issue of Nexus

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2. I read Nexus to beat the boredom of class

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specify what sort: __________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ 12. What are your favourite parts of Nexus? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________

3. I read Nexus every week

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4. I find Nexus’ content academically stimulating

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13. What are your least favourite parts of Nexus? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________

5. I find Nexus’ content entertaining

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6. I find Nexus’ content is student focused

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14. What do you want to see more of in Nexus? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________

7. I would contribute content to Nexus

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8. I would agree to raising WSU’s payment to Nexus from $2 per student a year to $10

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ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

9. I read the WSU content in Nexus

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10. I have found Nexus’ content personally offensive

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11. If you agree with offensive content, please

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18. Do you take your copy of Nexus home?

Yes No 19. What type of deals or advertisements relevant to you would you look for in Nexus? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ 20. Do you live at home, flat or on-campus residence? (Student Village, Orchard Park, Bryant Hall, College Hall, etc.) _________________________________________ 21. Approximately how many people live with you? _________________________________________ 22. What approximate percentage of those who live with you would you say read Nexus? (Please circle option) 0%

25%

50%

75%

100%

23. What is your main mode of transportation? _________________________________________ 24. Are you currently a student?

Yes No I will be soon 25. Are you currently employed?

Yes No

15. What do you want to see less of in Nexus? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ 16. Where do you pick up your copy of Nexus? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ 17. Where do you usually read Nexus? _________________________________________ _________________________________________

Thanks a lot for taking out the time to fill in our survey! The information we get from this will go towards improving Nexus.

You can also go into the draw to win some prizes.

To be eligible for this draw, please enter in your Student ID below (sorry, students only!)

Student ID: _______________________________ Want to let us and WSU have your email address?

We’ll inform you of rad events and deals if you do.

Leave it blank if you don’t want any emails.

Email: ___________________________________

Cover of the month Um, the wallplanner? It had robots.

The Commonwealth Games happened too, which are also a bit like the Olympics but in a budget way. New Zealand won some stuff but probably not as much as they were supposed to.

The Student Allowance goes up $3.50, thus allowing poor students to purchase an extra bread roll on Fridays.

Cover of the month Naked Girl (#5) Cover of the month Census issue (#3)

is not nearly as much fun and has no gymnasts.

Nexus did a fun cover rip off of it though.

Guess we should fit in some, like, news stuff. The Census happened which is a bit like the Olympics cos it has big gaps when it doesn’t happen but

It rains.

St Patricks’s Day goes off at the banks, the legendary Hilly closes, Nexus writers rave about the Parihaka Peace Festival.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Jig on Sunday was rockin’. Nexus was mostly sleeping. We hired a new graphics guy called Matt and he got working on the student diary quick smart. The banks area got all dug up, turned around and then put down again. Not sure why.

O week. Remember? Course not. But there were these guys from Finland called the Bomfunk MCs and they played with Odessa who were pretty cool, and other stuff happened too. The Exponents played, and every munter in Hamilton came to the Hilly to get well soused in alcohol and the Worst/Best Drinking Song Ever, “Why Does Love Do This To Me?”

17

NEXUS’ HALF-ASSED YEAR IN REVIEW

In a historical move, the Government kicks off Student Loan Interest Write-Offs.

Uni Games happen. Waikato comes 7th but sees some great perfomances from the cross country runners Tessa and Julia Lee and Ben Langford.

And our rowers win the women’s 4s and 8s and the men’s champ doubles.

People graduate, mid semester break break happens. DIC Reunion Gig at 6ft Under. Te Ranga Ngaku to get funds from WSU, passed 54 – 20 at an OSM. Hamilton has a referendum on fluoride and STV. Despite much campaigning, some of which involves giant numbers, groovy Hamilton chooses to stick with the status quo (yes and no respectively), thank you very much.

Cover of the month Helen Clark Doodles (6)

By Petra Jane May is New Zealand Music Month, when the national media clamours to profess its love for all the local talent they’ve neglected for eleven months. It’s always felt a bit irrelevant to most Hamilton music, being so far outside that mainstream media/major-label bubble. But that doesn’t mean we can’t recognise an excuse to party.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

For the most part New Zealand Music Month in Hamilton was business as usual -- which is to

18

say, four weeks of great live shows from fantastic local talent. There were the usual top-notch A Low Hum and Mole Music showcase tours, and all manner of all-ages shows at Upsett. The everstylish Sohl hosted touring bands from Wellington and Melbourne as well as our own Amy Racecar, Shrugs and New Caledonia.

WSU’s Jeff Hawkes got the campus rocking with lunchtime performances by Aether, Dynamo Go and 4 Second Fuse, and even the Public Library got behind local music by hosting acts as diverse as Kimbra Johnson and This Night Creeps in the dusty stacks of Core Stock. But the highlight was the Second Annual Circle Jerk, a celebration of the wealth of local talent that the NZMMtrumpeting national media completely ignore. A dozen bands ripped through micro-sets of their own and each others’ songs for a fantastic night’s fun at The Castle.

The great think about Hamilton is that the activity doesn’t finish at the end of May. We have the talent and the support to make every month New Zealand Music Month. But it’s still a great excuse for a party.

Also, 6ft Under closed and Nexus went shiny for the first time.

NZUSA change name but not acronym. Tricky. I really can’t remember much about June. Odd. Cover of the month Angel and Devil Girls (11). Quite possibly the most popular issue yet? Nexus has only one copy left and it’s now in hiding.

Mid year Orientation gets people jumping, and laughing. Italy take out the mighty World Cup, and the infamous headbutt gives bored internet animators no end of fodder for witty email attachments.

Nexus investigations reveal that Waikato uni might have marketing layoffs but then they don’t.

News Editor, dismayed at not having an actual interesting story for once, abandons himself to the Interweb and cartoon-drawing.

Te Wiki o Te Reo happens on campus, and other places. War breaks out between Hezbollah and Israel.

Cover of the month Local Film (14)

Cover of the month Vomiting Money (8)

Matariki winds to a close. Students are sad over the fact that Nexus is on hiatus over the mid-year break., but console themselves with free time/ working their butts off.

Fieldays comes to town. Hooray for tractors!

Surely something must have happened in August? It wasn’t even that long ago. Let’s check Nexus. Magic 8 Ball debuted as a comic. Amnesty International had a freedom week. Andrew Neal and Eve Millar made their welcome debuts as news minions.

Cover of the month Comics (17)

NEXUS’ HALF-ASSED YEAR IN REVIEW

Dawn

Burton C. Bogan

Highlights

Highlights

Last weekend. Won a pile of stuff, turned 24, Watching

Sehai being voted back in as Prez, Getting completely

Nexus improve by the month, Matt creating the Nexus

trashed at Clubs Day and then going to a WSU meeting,

forums and seeing how much people use them, Doing

Circle Jerk, Richard Swainson’s 40th at Ward Lane

the film issue, Puzzle Bobble, Not pissing anyone off in

(particularly MSU’s set)

a really big way Lowlights Lowlights

6ft Under Closing

Didn’t manage to get everyone who signed up involved with Nexus, People submitting stuff late and making us have to stay up, Not pissing anyone off in a really

Isa

big way

Highlight The Nexus forum and more fun and exciting

Pride week is colourful as ever.

Matt Highlights

In Nexus news, the innocuous adult learners’ week issue becomes the most complained about of the year. Page 21 manages to offend on 2 counts - the stereotyping of adult learners and the unfortunate timing of appearing with a mondo big picture of Steve Irwin the day he got rayed. And then there was Penis Guy.

Getting an arcade machine, Getting Puzzle Bobble for the arcade machine, Upgrading stock of Nexus, Setting up the Nexus Forum (www.nexusmag.co.nz), like our naked girl cover, Hearing that the guy who got his cock into one Busted regretted doing it because he got hundreds of texts. Another highlight would be that people got annoyed at the uncensored penis,

WSU elections happen. 900-odd people vote which is at least an improvement on previous years. Sehai Orgad returns as president with a relative landslide, and a host of new faces.

the censored nipples! Having people commend us on

Cover of the month Pub Review (22)

Lowlights

how nice Nexus looks with the new stock and design, Coke writing a letter to us and accusing us of Tall Poppy Syndrome

Seeing people leave their copies of Nexus floating around the campus grounds. Put it in the bin or put it back in the orange Nexus boxes please! That one issue where we didn’t get any letters. Except one that was sent to every student magazine at the time (something about Islam?). Please send us letters so we don’t

Cover of the month Gender (24)

Too many references to Art, his eggs and his various associated smells on the Nexus forum

have to make them up, WSU not changing their logo

Vitamin C Highlight: Not being shot over Column content.

Lowlight: Having to roll a guy at work who was angry over column content.

Lowlight: Pub-review only lasted 3 nights Highlight: Perks from Pub review continue Highlight: Getting to do Busted! on Singled Out night.

Lowlight: It being the week after naked penis guy, thus having all my hard work censored due to raging controversy.

Lowlight: Having our column on ‘Environmentally Friendly Ways to Abort Your Baby’ completely omitted/ censored Highlight: Nothing else was censored.

this year, Late nights and mental illness due to sleep deprivation.

Gary Highlights

Josh

The forum has really increased Nexus participation

Highlights

and input above and beyond contributors like me…

Death threats. Drawing the cover to the Bar Reviews

especially the letters thread. I have a sneaking

issue. Doing the Bar Review. Writing features. Getting

suspicion the whole business of being online will raise

people who aren’t me to write news. Finding new and

the profile of the mag. ASPAs were awesome. Good

amusing internet videos, on bandwidth I don’t have

to see some people reaping rewards for another hard

to pay for. Making random toll calls. Getting more free

year’s work.

stuff than ever before.

Lowlights Lowlights

Dorkland seemed to pretty much clean everyone out at

Death threats. The whooshing noise as deadlines go

the ASPAs. Dorkland wining stuff is generally not cool.

by.

Not enough death threats. Probably should’ve gone

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

It’s only just started, ow. A new series of bro’Town kicks off. Nexus has a great time at the ASPA awards despite being down on last year’s placings haul. Nexus appears on page 2 of the Waikato Times thanks to Dawn and Matt’s efforts in the Victoria St Mile.

Lowlight

Hearing that the NZUSA Women’s Rights officer didn’t

and then the subsequent week they got annoyed at

October

procrastination potential

more out of my way to push some people’s buttons.

19

Words by Petra Jane Photos and modelling by Dawn and Matt

Summer’s on the way. The evenings are getting longer, and assignment deadlines more urgent. Beaches and barbeques beckon. And that means it’s time to assemble the summer wardrobe. But how can you be welldressed and still have enough ping for New Years fun, without looking like a walking billboard for Centreplace chain stores? put aside plenty of time to browse the racks and try things on. It helps to keep in mind what clothes you need, and what you’ve already got to wear them with. Even at $10, that fuchsia taffeta prom dress isn’t really a bargain if you’ll never wear it.

Seasoned op-shop junkies often have a regular circuit they’ll check on. If you’re lucky or tenacious, you can pick up homemade originals, designer suits for less than a Glassons t-shirt, and enough bygone Fashion Disasters to see you through any number of retro-themed parties. Make sure you

The same goes for alterations -- those pants might be perfect if they were just taken in/let down/dyed orange...but are you really going to get round to it, or relegate them to the to-do pile? Pay attention to details, old clothes were often tailored to last, but look out for obvious stains and amateur repair jobs. When you find something you like, get it.

Don’t expect to hide it away and find it later, or someone else will snap it up before you. Finding the gems is what makes Op Shopping such an addictive adventure.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

You’re in luck, Hamilton has some of the best Op Shopping in the country. The suburbs are littered with charity shops, all packed with bargain-priced clothes and goodies. The content is donated by the public, so it’s varied and always unpredictable.

ESCAPE FROM COLDITZ BOARD GAME, $2.50 AT SALVATION ARMY (BARTON ST)

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Put aside some time, grab some friends whose style advice you trust, prepare to get changed and unchanged a dozen times (it’s probably not a good day to wear those stovepipe jeans you have to cram your calves into) and go shopping. Closest to Uni, there are two Op Shops in the Five Cross

Roads shopping complex. The Red Cross Shop is bursting at the seams, and uncannily cheap. They usually have a huge selection of cheap ladies’ shoes, too. There’s a small Salvation Army store just across the car-park, which isn’t as well stocked as Red Cross but is less cluttered and easier to navigate if you’re inexperienced with the heaving, disorganised racks. From Five Cross Roads, follow Boundary Road then turn left at Heaphy Terrace.

The St. Aidan’s parish op-shop is small, but like the Sallies it’s tidy and easy to navigate.

Head over Whitiora Bridge to the Presbyterian Support shop on Liverpool Street. This is my favourite op-shop in Hamilton, I seem to find armloads of beautiful vintage dresses and accessories every time I visit. The prices are unfathomably cheap and the chap who works there is exceptionally friendly, and will bid you a cheery good afternoon at least half a dozen times.

There’s a Hospice Shoppe just round the corner on Anglesea Street, which has a middling clothes range but a great selection of homewares. You can never have too many glasses in gin and tonic season. Back on the main street, there are two fairly new additions to the circuit. The raver-dayglocoloured Bumbling Loons moved from Te Rapa to 856c Victoria Street (behind the curtain shop), while the Gateway church on the next block has a charity shop next door. Both specialise in modern,

OP SHOPPING IN HAMILTON youthful fashions and are cheap as chips. The mainstay of Hamilton’s inner-city op shops is the Salvation Army store on Barton Street. It’s huge, and immaculately arranged by type and colour.

Prices are nominally higher than other op-shops, and the selection does tend to be picked over faster than the more obscure stores, but this is an essential stop on any op-shop trip.

It’s time to venture into darkest Frankton. The Habitat For Humanity store is on Devon Street, just off King Street, and often seems to pick up stock lots of new clothes. You might just find stillpackaged name-brand lingerie for a fraction of the price of any Base outlet store. The St Vincent de Paul shop on Commerce Street is another of my personal favourites. It’s not large but the stock is always varied and interesting. If you’re feeling adventurous, you could keep heading West towards Dinsdale. There’s another Salvation Army store at the Dinsdale shops, a charity shop in a converted cottage by the roundabout on Rifle Range Road, and the infamous Dump Shop, which proves the hoary old adage about “one man’s trash”.

If you’re heading back East via town, Remains To Be Scene on Hood Street is well worth a visit. It’s a second-hand store rather than a charity op-shop, but the prices are pretty reasonable and some of the clothes absolutely exceptional. I’m in love with their beautiful old hats and gloves, though I’m convinced women all had freakishly tiny heads and hands in the 1950s. Then it’s time for the last stop of the circuit: Hamilton East is home to yet another Salvation Army store, as well as another Hospice Shoppe in the Clyde Street shopping complex. The Ham East Hospice usually seems to have a better clothing selection than its central counterpart, and is worth paying a visit.

Salvation Army Family Store (Grey St)

Matt: Shirt $5, shorts $4, glasses $1, hat $2.

Dawn: Skirt $5, shirt $3, shorts $1.50, hat $2.

Matt: Skivvy $4, shorts $2.50, jacket $7 Dawn: Dress $5, hat $9.50

Salvation Army Family Store (Barton St)

Presbyterian Support (Liverpool St)

Matt: Shorts $6, orange travesty $3, nipples $0 Dawn: Pants $4, halter top $4

Matt: Shirt $7, Pants $4, Dress sense – Priceless Dawn: Shirt $5.50, ski suit $4.

Golf Belt

Babylon 5 Videos

Dog Thing

A belt custom-made to hold up your golf pants. Has an interchangable thing. Yes.

These were spotted in more than one op shop. Watching Babylon 5 is similar to dying a slow death.

Terrible looking ornament.

Token “porcelain animal thing that looks really ugly”.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

With patience and good fortune, you’ll be able to assemble a unique summer wardrobe for less money than a new pair of jeans -- and you’ve just made a contribution to charitable organizations.

Op-shopping’s the perfect pastime, it’s cheap, fun, social, practical, reduces waste...and it’s hopelessly addictive. Soon you’ll find yourself stumbling across the wonderful community charity shops in Raglan or the Mount, and just having to stop for a look.

Hamilton East Hospice (Clyde Mall)

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By Faceleg I’m no tattooist, but I do know a few things about it, especially the design selection process. For the rest, I’ve asked professional tattoo artist Stephen R. from the Hamilton Tattoo Company to fill me in.

But first - in my humble opinion, tattoos fall into three rough categories: Art, Statement, and Custom.

Art A tattoo that is aesthetically pleasing to the eye, but does not attempt to make a statement (see Statement, below). A little time and discussion with the artist can transform an art tattoo from a fairly standard, less-than-unique design to a custom job that you might would imagine having, if you had an imagination. Sources of ideas for art tattoos should be fairly obvious.

Statement Someone with serious identity issues, a disturbing obsession, and the inability to think beyond the next two months might get one of these. You

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

know the ones, the guy you saw in the service station with the intimidating (-ly stupid?) OTARA tattoo on his forearm, or that wigga guy with “HTown 07”, old English lettering engraved between his pasty pointy ‘n pimpled shoulder blades. If

you are disagree that these sound stupid, stop reading and fuck off. You are a moron and probably also adore other dated clichés like failing school C, or being a road worker.

The Interview With a Real-life Tattoo Artist (he even has his own shop – Hamilton Tattoo Co. 122 Commerce St) Name?

Custom As stated above, one does not need a huge imagination, or any artistic talent to get a custom tattoo. A custom tattoo will be a tattoo that you get because you genuinely like the image that you have thought about and discussed for some time, and you think that you will always like it. They can be any size, and are much more interesting than “off the shelf” jobs. Also, as an added bonus, the tattoo artist will enjoy it more (unless it’s a stupid fairy, butterfly, or unicorn, which should never be requested), and you will feel satisfied that you had an input into the design, and that you can safely say it is a one of a kind.

Summer is the best time to get tattooed, as it is warm enough to ensure one remains at a comfortable temperature for the duration, though one may lack many items of clothing.

Winter is the best time for tattoos to heal, but the worst to get a tattoo, as it is often too cold to allow one to sit comfortably for long periods of time. When the after-care directions are followed correctly however, similar healing times will be experienced, even in summer.

Do you have any myths about tattooing that you would like to prove or disprove?

There is not a great deal of money in it, that’s for sure. Um, AIDS cannot be contracted through tattooing.

Stephen Rossiter Who is your leader?

Blind idiot nuclear chaos God, Azathoth.

What is your purpose?

Make money, do quality work and irritate people.

When and where did you train?

I started my training 9 years ago at the Hamilton Tattoo Co. under a veteran tattooist (Gypsy) for 1 year. It was supposed to be 3 years, but due to unforeseen circumstances I had to move to Finland. Then I worked in a shop in Turku, Finland for 1 year. I owned a shop in the same city for 5 years. 2 years ago I returned to NZ, and now run Gypsy’s old shop, The Hamilton Tattoo Co. If there was to be a soundtrack created to your life, what would the first songs be?

I didn’t like this question the first time I did this interview, I don’t like it the second time.

(Interviewer inadvertently lost the original interview notes while waving them around drunkenly shortly after performing said interview.

Interviewee did not accept the “practice makes perfect rationalization”, designed to placate angry drunken interviewee) My musical taste changes constantly. It would definitely include something by Pop Will Eat Itself.

Do people treat you differently after they are told of your profession?

Sometimes.

Which style of tattooing is your favourite?

Anything that is grey wash (black and grey lines).

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TATTOO FEATURE What is the most foolish thing you have ever been asked to tattoo?

There have been a couple of particularly memorable things. One of them would be “Rotary Ho”.

In Old English?

Yes. Another would be the guy who wanted “Satan” tattooed on his forehead, because he thought it was an anagram for Stafford. Can you see Satan in that word?

Why have you had 3 1/2 Burger Fuel bucks next to your keyboard for the last 3 months?

To remind me to spend it. But I don’t like leaving the house unless I really have to. And it’s a really strange voucher. Who makes a voucher for 3 1/2 dollars? Why that amount? And it seems the longer I leave it the more it seems to increase in value. I remember that it was 3 dollars, now it is 3 1/2! If I leave it a little longer it might go up even more!

to consider whether you will be interested in that design and the things it may mean later on in your life.

Do you have any myths about tattooing that you would like to prove or disprove?

There is not a great deal of money in it, that’s for sure. Um, AIDS cannot be contracted through tattooing. Many other diseases can be. But if the tattooist applies common sense exercises, hygienic style and finesse (like those at my shop do), and the customer follows the after-care instructions correctly, said diseases will not be problem.

What is your religion?

I just make it up as I go along.

What is your favourite time to tattoo?

Generally after hours. Then I can close the door and be more relaxed.

Do you have any other comments that you would

and ultimately beautifying. So what is wrong with it? I think it shows that advertising doesn’t have to be crap, even though it often is crap. But paying local artists to paint is good, I think.

(Hint – Stephen is a local artist) Is getting tattooed painful?

It can be, generally my customers have told me that they have found it more irritating or frustrating, not painful. People are different and have different boundaries though. People do stress about that a lot though, and are often surprised that is not as painful as they thought.

Which is your favourite season?

Summer of course. Every summer I mean to do many things, but become distracted, and lazy. but this year will be different.

Muscle Man Tip of the Week is the best part of Nexus, isn’t it?

I have never seen it. I do not know what this

What are your favourite leisure activities?

Pwning n00bs in BF2

Carrying on: why does it have “As far as my feet will carry me” written on it?

It was movie that Nick recommended. From what he said it sounds pretty cool. I have been trying to find it, on the internet with little success.

Do you like computer games?

(Hysterical laughter) Yes, a few. But heaps of them are repetitive, the same old crap. Fancy graphics but shit monotonous game-play. Sad really.

What do you think people should consider when deciding on a design for a tattoo?

It is vitally important to consider placement. Think about the size of the design so you will be able to decide whether it will suit the desired place on your anatomy. Also I think it is extremely important

Outraged at the implied derogation, I swiftly scribble down a few ‘additional’ questions: What do you think about emos?

Confused. Still not quite sure what the definition of an emo is. Are they Hippies, are they Goths? I don’t know. They don’t seem to get tattoos.

Do you think that Coke should be allowed to pay artists to create colourful, eye catching murals on concrete walls, even though there may or may not be large coke related images in said mural?

Definitely. Why not? It’s not some kitten mincing Cthulhuesque rabid dog of a capitalistic goosestepper, and is actually interesting, eye catching

“Muscle man” thing is.

Oh, it’s a column written by an incredible beast that even has muscular nipples. His head is that of a jaguar or a tiger (I don’t know its in the b/w section). But yeah it’s great advice too. Sounds good, huh?

Yeah! Is he like a combat muscle man or what?

I don’t know. He is a being of bulging strength, that of ten bears, so yeah I guess he can kickbox your head. Does it upset you if people ask for stupid tattoos?

I don’t know what Muscle Man is. On some level it does upset me. Ultimately everyone has the right to make their own decisions regarding the choice of design so I can’t and won’t criticize them.

So the interview is over. I have more than last time. I promise not to lose this.

OK. Students should spend some more money on tattoos. Thanks for the great interview!

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

What are your favourite leisure activities?

Pwning n00bs in BF2 (Stephen is Cheyzus666, aka G.O.B. - God Of Battle), smoking and drinking, uh... music? Mmm... (laughs), irritating people.

like to make?

Not at this particular time, this is the second time we have done this interview. You lost the first one.

I am tired of being interviewed. Also it wouldn’t be fair if I gave comments, because then you would be a lazy interviewer who made the interviewee do all the work, and we can’t have that.

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Sunday 10 December Monday 16 Oct

3 November

Thursday 7 December

Presentation - ‘Sudoku without tears’ 1:10 PM - 3:00 PM, at MSB.1.01 Contact: jansteve@waikato.ac.nz Presenter: Prof. Les Foulds

Dynamo Go are releasing their Vice, Folly & Love EP at Sohl Bar. They will be joined by Phony Bone and other guests.

So So Modern, Shaky Hands, Pig Out at The Castle.

Thursday 19 October

4 November

ASB Bank Outdoor Social Sport Touch and Soccer For more info check out www.intoactiveevents.co.nz or contact Amy Corstorphine 07 838

End of year Gala Concert, 7pm.

Gallagher Concert Chamber - WEL Energy Trust Academy of Performing Arts. Contact: music@waikato.ac.nz The annual Gala Collage Concert

4312. Entries for all sports close Thursday 19th October Enter online at www.intoactiveevents. co.nz or pick up an entry form from Uni Rec Reception.

has become one of the most popular events on the Music Dept calendar.

With a rapid-fire presentation, the musical items performed by staff and students come from all corners of the Concert Chamber. Suggested donation of $5 on entry.

Free film A Japanese comedy/romance film “Nabbie’s Love” will be shown on Thursday the 19th of October. As usual it will start at 7 pm at L3 on campus. Admission is free and the film has English-subtitles.

Enquiries? Contact Athena Chambers at 838 4042 at Department of Humanities (East Asian Studies) ALL WELCOME.

20 October Gigantic (Aus), The Shrugs, and The Gills at Sohl, 20th October. www.myspace.com/giganticau

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

21 October The first instalment of ‘The Goodride Sessions’ featuring Numotion and The Goodriders is at Sohl bar, Sat 21st October Labour weekend. Show time will be 9.30pm $10 door sales.

27 October Mole Music Show TBA (The Castle)

3 November Yawn Yawn Yawn Club Night at The Castle. Night of fun and dancing!

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11 November Timmy Schumacher at the Loft, 9pm.

If you are wanting to cut loose and celebrate the end of exams, “The Loft” are hosting a Heienken Music party featuring two of the country’s top DJs, Timmy Schumacher & Mark Emerson. Timmy has been relentlessly championing the sound of beats and breaks in Aotearoa for fifteen years while Mark plays an addictive sound of electro & house and has played alongside some of the biggest names in the business.

So get ready to party! Where:The Loft

17 November Amy Racecar CD Release party (The Castle)

25 November The Debutantes, The Actualities (Welly) plus guests at The Castle.

25 November Upsett Records one year anniversary show @ Ward Lane - R18 My Brother Got Mulched, Ministry Of Hypocrisy, Blacktooth, Gawj, PSI, The Wrongmen.

Italian Film Festival – Hamilton Immerse yourself in the flavours of Italy at the Italian Film Festival.

Wed 22 Nov 06 - Wed 06 Dec 06, every day, at Rialto Cinema

Saturday 9 December (Reserve Day 10 December) Boost Mobile Streetball Tour Apparently, New Zealand’s biggest streetball event, the Boost Mobile Streetball Tour, is back for another year. Woot? If you want to register for the Streetball Tournament, check out www.boostmobile.co.nz

Hamilton City Christmas Parade The young and young at heart will love this traditional celebration of Christmas. Ahh..

Next year...

The Big Day Out - Friday January 19th, Auckland Mt Smart Stadium Maurice Rd Penrose. Gates open 11am. Tickets $110 +bf from all Ticketek Outlets, phone and credit card bookings 09 307 5000 or www. ticketek.co.nz Real Groovy, Sounds, ECM, all good music stores nationwide and www.bigdayout.com. Includes Tool, Jet, Muse, Scribe, The Killers, My Chemical Romance and more.

WSU Orientation 2007 Including… Coca Cola Trolley Derby.

You must be registered by Wednesday, February 21st 2007 by 4.00 pm to compete. Check the news section for more info on this excellent event!

Numotion Ensemble’s Simple is the Sun EP is the first release from the Goodride Recordings label. The label is promoting and distributing original music from a collective of Raglan based musicians. Other acts on the Label include Raw Sugar (Old school rare groove) and Goodriders (broken beat and future funk).

Numotion Ensemble’s first release is a groovy affair, reflecting its origins in New Zealand’s premier surf destination, Raglan, home of chilled vibes, beautiful vampires and Hippies. The title track of Numotion Ensemble’s first EP, Simple as the Sun, opens with some strings that sound like an updated version of that Pet Shop Boys’ classic ‘Westend Girls’, but after that brief flashback the song slides into smooth grooves, wavy strings, bleepy electronica, slick gat and all the other adjectives you would use to describe most Wellington dub bands. Vocalist Ashley Knox utilises a hybrid bass/ guitar, allowing him to lay down phat bass pulses and glistening guitar lines simultaneously. Glenn Campbell handles live drums and Cameron Olsen tops things up with ambient keys. Numotion blend jazzy soul and mellow funk along with underpinnings of electronica. That in conjunction with Ashley Knox’s positive uplifting vocals make a package not too far removed from other kiwi dub/jazz bands, the difference being that most other bands of this ilk have several more members. Recorded in Raglan and mastered at Kog, Numotion are another kiwi act producing fantastic grooves that would be well worth fans of the genre picking up.

The Numotion EP is available at Tandy’s in Hamilton and very likely at upcoming Goodride sessions. The first instalment of ‘The Goodride Sessions’ featuring Numotion and The Goodriders is at Sohl bar, Sat 21st October Labour weekend. Show time will be 9.30pm $10 door sales.

11th November will see the release of Chuganaut’s new Single “Part of This”. The band have decided to release a double album in the new year and not rush through the mixing and mastering stage of their recorded work.11:11 will be the title of the double album, with 11 tracks on each. All the studio work is completed.

Mixing is underway in the UK/Europe.

Mastering of the new single is booked in at Dudley studio later this month.

Nationwide tour dates will be released over the weekend, and there are a couple of support bands to sort for the South Island.

As a way of saying thanks for your patience they are releasing the single “Part of This” from the album(s).

Chuganaut will be playing their single release show November 11th at Axces Bar with a $5 door charge. To give their fans a clear message on the upcoming album name, most BAR shows will see Chuganaut start at 11.11pm, so don’t be late.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Chuganaut have spent several months in the recording studio. The band have listened to their fans’ requests for both old and new songs, and the only way to please the most people at one time is to release their first album as a double.

Their sound engineer who mixes them live was well aware that they wanted to capture their live sound and he soon realised that it was going to mean many hours slaving over a hot Macintosh. At this stage it was wishful thinking to get the first batch of songs ready for Xmas, hence the double album as soon in the new year as it can be finished.

Boom Chugga Lugga Lugga Back

PHOTOS BY PJ ARTFORMS

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ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

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We thought we’d honour some of our contributors (and ourselves) and also highlight some key aspects of Nexus that we thought were pretty neat (or in some cases, really freakin’ stupid). Let the Nexus Awards commence!

Best News volunteer Andrew Neal rocked up about eight months after we’d first asked for volunteers with a can-do attitude and an avant-garde writing style that was, to be fair, unreadable. But after some snarling from the News Editor and a fair bit of practice, Andrew, (or “News Bitch” as he is affectionately known,) has become a competent fetcher of drinks, snacks and the occasional news story.

Volunteer Nick Maarhuis also warrants a mention as a popular and competent news writer, despite the notable drawback of nearly all his news stories being completely made up.

Best Fake News Writer

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

It may come as a surprise to find out Nexus occasionally writes news with no basis in fact at all. Nick Maarhuis took this award out with no effort at all, due to never actually writing anything real at all, except for the intriguingly headlined “FSAE? WESMO!” (It had something to do with a car of some kind.) Nexus’ Uncle Jim also featured in several Fake News stories, usually to fill a gap.

And for all of you that think Uncle Jim is a real person – he’s not. He’s completely made up.

Sorry to disappoint, ladies.

Best Invented Paedophile (?) Puzzle Page Author Yes, Uncle Jim takes the cherry pie for best Puzzle Page Author who’s not actually real. Now, I can hear you whining “But we knew he wasn’t real all along!” Liars. Oh, sure, some people probably picked it up from day one, but since his first appearance we’ve been plagued with lovable,

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gullible people wondering if Uncle Jim is a real person. So, yes, Virginia, Uncle Jim is invented.

But we here at Nexus like to think that wherever children play and use their imaginations, Uncle Jim is there, in a windowless van, wearing a slight smile and wrap-around sunglasses, with a practically bottomless supply of candy.

Most gratuitous use of the word “Fuck” in a serious context A tough category, with nearly every staffer/ contributor chipping in at some point, this category was won by that random hairy guy who comes into the offices sometimes and snarls and dribbles out a string of swearwords and conspiracy theories through nicotine-stained teeth before wending his merry

you got laid as a result of that stunt, buddy, because it sure does suck for the whole university

way down the stairs. We salute you, Fuck-man.

to know exactly how small your dick is.

Most Laziest Contributor(s)

Most Drunken

We had somewhere in the vicinity of 200 people sign up to do volunteer work for Nexus at the beginning of the year. Around ten percent of them actually did stuff. This award goes out to all you who never did a fucking thing even though you said you would. You know who you are, and we salute you. But not really.

Another hard-fought battle, this was eventually won by Vitamin C and Special K, who not only wrote pretty much every column while drunk or on … something (can you tell? See “Horse Appreciation Society” for details) but managed to scientifically control their alcohol intake at the ASPA awards by periodically spewing at carefully controlled intervals.

Most Spotted Gimp In Busted How could it be anyone else? There’s no competition that could match up to Mr Shrivelled Penis Man himself. This poor idiot got his phone number and his cock out for all to see in the pages of Busted. A barrage of texts from haters were his well-deserved award. We can only hope

Best Cover The Pub Review issue takes out the best cover, if for no other reason that News Editor Josh Drummond took time out from writing the news, a column, much of the feature, several very interesting YouTube videos, Puzzle Bobble, pool,

NEXUS AWARDS Wintec, and a number of viral emails to draw the damn thing. True to form, he didn’t do this until about a week after it was supposed to be done, which led to Graphics Editor Matt doing his usual stellar job with colouring while suffering from the flu, a hangover, and extreme fury. Which probably helped the cover turn out as great as it did.

Most Abuse of Exclamation Marks In A Submitted Article WSU President Sehai Orgad and Femme Fatale’s A. Honey take out a joint first place for having utterly superfluous exclamation marks well, everywhere!! Like this!!! Often up to five at a time!!!!! After every other bloody sentence!!!!!

Looks stupid, doesn’t it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!

of decoration. There was some letter with accompanying gobbledygook, but we burned it in a ceremony.

Best Incredibly Bad Timing Award Nick Maarhuis says “so can you put Steve Irwin in the magazine next to my article on Adult Learners?” We did, and the magazine came out as usual – the day the poor bastard ran afoul of a stingray. Everyone thought we were psychic. Lucky we’d previously declined to run Nick’s Peter Brock pisstake.

Best Pose While Wearing Mello Yello Merchandise…

And the award goes to…

Best Use of Text Speak To Drive The Editor Batshit Fucking Loco

Most likely to send crazy photo with blurb Award Jeff Most likely to give the Nexus designer extra work by putting puzzles in her blurbs Award Megan

Most Utterly Baffling Random Thing That Happened All Year Award A lot of weird shit goes down around a student magazine. But the weirdest thing we’ve ever had here was some group – we still don’t know who they are, and we don’t want to – sending us a bunch of stickers with a pyramid, a swastika and the words “Novo Ordo Seclorum” by way

Most likely to abuse “quote marks” Award Vince Top exec Puzzle Bobbler Award Sehai

The Bizzaro Award for “What a column looks like if Dawn doesn’t edit it at all.”

Turn to page 31 and enjoy. We couldn’t make this up if we tried.

Best Piano Making Use Of Cats The News Ed and Jamie (the man behind Uncle Jim) found the Cat Piano at the beginning of the year on some website, and were immediately smitten, begging the Graphics Ed to “put it in the mag somewhere.” Since finding it, we’ve managed to put it in the magazine pretty much every issue, somewhere. And it’s a good way to finish this feature.

Giving Nexus a soccer ball Award Sonja Best WSU Exec Photo Award Vince ‘Can’t remember any specifics but am sure he’s very nice’ Award Anthony Coolest stunts Award Enviro officers

Cheers to all those who made it fun, lively and interesting! We hope to see you all next year and eager to participate!

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Hours have been wasted on various pointless pursuits around the office, and none have been more effective than Graphics Ed Matt’s two babies; the Nexus Forums and Puzzle Bobble.

The Nexus forums have now become the favourite time-waster of literally tens of students in Study Week, and the Puzzle Bobble machine attracts more visitors than the photocopier ever hoped to.

Least in need of editing Award Carl Gordon Least intrusive blurb writer

Best Worst Letter

Best Procrastination Device

Most consistently on time Award Renee

Andrew the Education Officer (runners up: Jade and Joseph)

The Panther and Tovah Reed take away this award with little or no competition. By default, they also receive the prestigious “Non-use of Vowels Award,” “The Gibberish Trophy,” and the “M0st D0wn Wit Da Kidz Prize.” They were also likely to use LOL and ROFL and the like in submitted articles, for which they will be receiving the even more prestigious Anthrax Award. In the mail.

Strong candidates for this accolade were ultimately beaten by Alan King, who, in a dashing display of wit and non-compliance with that dreadful Political Correctness, compared WSU Prez Sehai Orgad (who is, like, Jewish) to Hitler.

A close second was Coca-Cola Amatil NZ’s little burst of inanity when they opined that editorials, for some reason, should be free of editorial opinion and accused us of tall poppy syndrome.

Most consistently late Award Sehai

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WSU Prez

International Students’ Officer

Sehai

Sonja

Ok, for my final column I would like to thank everyone who participated in last weeks end of the year celebrations. Wednesday’s final Cultural Hour went off with a BANG, with students being able to sit back and relax to some good old fashion hip hop, and some who wanted to get their groove on (you know who you are) managed to score some fantastic prizes and giveaways. Thank you to 4 Corners, DJ Militia and all the cultural groups who performed that day. A special thanks goes out to Maria Huata, Herearoha Skipper and Joe

I promised that my last blurb would contain some references to sex, so here you are:

MacFarlane who were awesome with all of their support and work to help us put this gig on. And of course a big shout out goes to the University’s Cultural Committee who provided the funds for us to run this amazing event.

something I would have loved to do this year that never happened.

Thank you to the 2006 WSU exec and staff for EVERYTHING. From our up and our downs, I have learned some of the most important lessons in my life from each of you. Thank you all for your hard work and commitment throughout the year, your friendship and guidance, advice and support.

This year has been a successful one in terms of cultivating solid plans for a bright and stable future for the Waikato Students Union.

NEXUS – you know I love you, it’s been a blast, what can I say….challenge on the Puzzle Bubble?

And on a personal note, thank you and I love you to all of my whanau all over the world at the moment

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

but still very much here with your support and love which keeps me strong at the hardest of times.

Thanks Aba, and my mum for fighting in my battles and for your constant advice - even when we don’t agree. I would be drinking soup through my ears without ya!

Thank you Namu, my best friend and boyfriend, for your patience, support and constant reminder to keep my head up. Love you babe.

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Abortion is not considered a contraception method in New Zealand and does also not protect you from sexual transmitted diseases – so please be responsible this summer!

Ok. The rest of my blurb will contain no references to sex at all and might be considered boring by a lot of people for that very reason. It is about

I wanted to make cheap food available on campus.

I hoped for a cafeteria that would serve as a central student meeting point where one can have something to eat, even at 5pm, and meet all the other students. Being stuck in the internal politics of the WSU, I have to admit that I lost my focus for about 6 months and then had moderate-to-no success in talking people into it. Everyone admits that it’s a great idea and then buggers off.

I am not so sure whether it will ever happen that this campus will be really student friendly.

The new Student Hub, that is planned to be built soon, has not had major student input yet and I am wondering whether it will have it at all.

The University is constantly planning away from students and the WSU influence on them equals zero. It makes me angry that instead of seeing the big picture we were constantly nagging and hindering each other during this year and might have missed the chance to have input into a development that could have the potential for major impact on students’ life. I don’t want to pull the participation card again here, it is right to ask for more participation but on the other hand: if 10,000 students would participate for real, WSU would be a mess.

While there is an important role in student welfare for the WSU, with the hardship funds and advocacy, for a union of all students of the Uni, we have concentrated very much on a few small groups. I personally don’t like the current structure which allows major funding projects outside the club affiliation rules and it is no secret that I opposed the funding of most of them. Most of our services are not aimed at all students, like Nexus or Campus Movies are, but at the ones who affiliate, like clubs and groups coming for funding.

Being compulsory I think our moral obligation is to use the monies we get to benefit all students, even the ones who can’t be bothered. I see our responsibility less in the supply of funding but more in the participation on campus-wide decisions that affect students, like the hub, fees or administrative nightmares.

Unions were not created to provide a nice O-week or a party for all ginger haired 24 year old Social Science students, they were required as the political counterweight to the university leaders and their decisions. I think we tend to forget that.

So, my wish for next year is that WSU takes up the political challenge of providing services to all students and stops the internal bickering and being a B-Block pet. It’s easy to wish it, especially because I will leave soon, but I hope it shows that I haven’t lost all hope that it could be happening.

Have a nice summer this year and try to meet someone with interesting opinions at least once in your life.

Cheers.

Owned by students, Run by students, For all students!

Maori Students’ Officer

Disabled Students’ Officer

Renee Rewi

Jeff Hawkes

Passion is good however sometimes misplaced when everything is said and done and though Nexus may not agree sometimes you just have to be accountable just like Nexus said in the latest editorial. The Nexus editor does an eloquent job of switching the emphasis from itself back to the same organisation that it so eloquently receives propups from and verified in the editorial by the Nexus Editor. The one thing that watching the use of innuendo in the media is to say something about the business and watch the justification and sentiment come pouring out. Now noone is saying that WSU is an angle however if students really want to know the financial performance of Nexus all they have to do is to be at the WSU AGM when the audited accounts come out.

However how wrong was the $100,000 given that Nexus as a Company enjoys

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the same benefits it accuses WSU of – lets not forget that the Nexus of old also incurred quite a hefty legal bill and who the propup entity was on that occasion unless students are to forget OSM 1 2006.

as possible. How are those dependent on others for home help or personal assistance going to get through? The helper may not want to risk exposure.

Whanaungatanga and neighbourliness and the value of reciprocity are ethical values that we could all have closer to our hearts for general wellbeing in the community. Why is the term hippy floating around in my head? Must be spring!

Anyway, virtually get along to www.newhealth.govt.nz and follow the link to NEAC and spot the statement for discussion. Submissions are closed, but there’s lots of stuff in there to think about, after all, much of the stuff not only applies to pandemic response, but any civil emergency response.

Ultra-Vires according to Spiller, P (2002, p 316), ‘…is an act is beyond the legal power or authority of a person, institution or legislation, and therefore invalid’.

The lead case as all law students know is that of Fitzgerald v Muldoon (1976) – Intra-Vires: Judicial Review, ‘…interference by a Court with the decision made by a person or body empowered by Parliament or governing law to reach that decision in the public interest…the decision of the decision maker are unreasonable, bad faith, and improper or ulterior motives’ Spiller, P (2002, p157). The point of this is that if you wish to use these fancy Latin terms in conversations, emails, or the like know exactly what they mean and how they apply.

WSU Executive meeting 25 Aug 06 item 5 – motion ‘that the WSU underwrite up to $3000.00 for Te Whakahiapo proposal to attend Te Hunga Roia 2006’ carried unanimously. It appears that a rumour got out that I voted against this motion, which was obviously quite wrong – I wonder what Nexus might say to this?

I HAVE DONE MY BEST AND WITH ALL THAT IS SAID AND DONE, A PAIN IN THE BUTT IS WORTH TWO IN A HOLE. THE FUNNIES AND REMARKS ARE DONE AND I BID YOU ALL A FINAL FAREWELL, LIVE WELL AND PROSPER. (Sic) – Ed.

That’s how many of us are going to feel the impact of some form of mental illness in our life time. So that’s 1 in 5 has an impairment, 2 in 5 who are gonna get some feeling of impairment. There is a discussion document out at the moment from the government on ethical values for planning for, and responding to a pandemic in New Zealand.

The National Ethics Advisory Committee (NEAC) is seeking your feedback on this discussion document to help make its statement of Ethical Values for Planning for and Responding to a Pandemic in New Zealand as useful

Everybody get out there and enjoy summer, but remember to party in moderation. Not that everyone’s a boozer, but a little advice from one well practised, in times past of course.

Understand what you are doing to yourself. ‘Intoxication’, think about that word. Yup, it’s poison you are dosing yourself with.

Be prepared! Eat food first! And get well hydrated before you start, yup, drink water. I have been told to adhere to a vegetarian diet in the days leading up to a big session, and that seems to have lessened the effects of abuse on the system. And drink more water the next day. I have even gone and refilled my beer bottle with water, a known quantity. A 2/1 beer/RTD to water ratio helps keep the dilution up.

Choose your booze. Cheap is generally nasty, and dark will lead to a heavier

4.

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hangover. Nasty chemicals other than alcohol can contribute to a brutal hangover. Get non-alcohol into ya, yup, more water, or whatever. And take it slow, it isn’t really a race.

When you get home take a pee, to save the warm and moist waking sensation, or a trip to the lav if ya manage to wake up. Have more water, and steer clear of medication as a hangover preventative. When mixed with booze, aspirin content can do ugly shit to your liver. Not good.

The morning after, stay in bed, call in sick, stay off the booze, and steer clear of caffeine

Thanks /www.soyouwanna.com for the heads up on hangover avoidance.

Don’t for get to study now ya hear, and take a snack in to the exam to help mitigate brain fade…

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

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Looking forward to next year

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Cultural Hour Extravaganza at the banks, Oct 11

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Chesterman Group Public Relations Campaign Award 2006, Oct 12

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That’s it for this year! Remember, if you’re coming back in 2007 and you need a flat or a flatmate, send us a notice to nexus@waikato.ac.nz before Tues 27 February, 2007

FLATMATE WANTED: Flat mate wanted guy or girl to join 3 easy going chicks in a two storey house, 2 bathrooms and dishwasher, in Ham east for next year. From 1st Jan, Negotiate the move in date $135 p/w for everything incl Food and internet.

Text or Phone 0274625977 anytime!!

Flatmates wanted!!!!

3 female students looking for 3 fun laidback guys to join us in our 6bedrm 2bathrm flat. Wellington st from december onwards. plenty of off road parking and lawn space. close to ham east shops and uni.

75 for rent per wk. for more info call us on either 027 448 4104 or 027 504 0688

FLAT AVAILABLE FROM NOV! 4 bdrm flat with 2 dining rooms and a large lounge with a bamboo feature wall, the biggest damn dimmers in the world, a big display cupboard (with a dimmer!!) and a peep-hole into the next bdrm!! A large front and back section with a bridge leading to the front door, one car garage and outside off road parking at rear. $320 a week. Call/txt Clare on 027 4678049 or Clare/Suz/Nat on 858 2662.

Free Public Lecture Series 5 x Wednesdays in November 7pm-9pm in Academy of Performing Arts

Flatmate Wanted!

1 flatmate wanted to live with a guy and 2 girls (3rd years). Big modern house with big bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. 15-20 min walk to uni. Broadband. $87.50 pw not including food. Available Jan 1st.

Phone 0273197157 or email pb36@waikato.ac.nz Smaller room and office available 10/11/06.

5 min walk from uni. $91 = broadband, phone and power. Great big lounge + kitchen. Small deck and OSP. Queen sized bed! Best flatmates ever! Sad to be leaving :( Call/txt 021 146 0056 or 07 859 2130 Flatmates Wanted one cool as grad dude looking for two chicks to flat with, house is modern and close to town near fairfield bridge off river rd. House is fully furnished and easy to keep tidy. bout 85 weekly for rent ,so if ya need a room 4 summer let me knw . contact Kara 0211209392 peace

Digital Piano for sale $1,900 or nearest offer -Technics brand. 88 keys, 3 pedals, MIDI, touch response sensitive, disk drive, sequencer 16-track, LCD display, PCM sound generator, auto-play chord, 181 sounds, 128 rhythms, complete with manual. Excellent condition.

SUSTAINABLE URBAN DESIGN Session 1: Wednesday 1 November “Urban Sustainability from Global to Local” Session 2: Wednesday 8 November “Built and Natural Environment in partnership” Session 3: Wednesday 15th November movie screening “The End of Suburbia: Oil Depletion and the Collapse of The American Dream” Session 4: Wednesday 22nd November “Building Sustainability for People and the Planet – a case study” Session 5: Wednesday 29th November “The House with No Bills” Contact: beverley@waikato.ac.nz or phone 858 5229

Bicycle for sale. Hardly used. Good condition. $90 with helmet & lock. Contact: 021-235 2347 Volunteer Wanted for English Conversation Class Fridays 1-3 PM Good opportunity to get into English language teaching. Phone Dee on 838 2450 Bargain hunters alert!!

For sale: Microwave, black 21 inch TV, drawers, washing machine, couches – 1 x 2 seater, 1 x 3 seater. Ring 858 4572 if you’re keen!

NEED PETROL MONEY? You can earn between $20-70 worth of MTA vouchers just by participating in our driving project.

We are looking for males aged 16-17, 20-21, 2526, or 30-31; have held a restricted or full licence for at least 6 months; and can speak and read NCEA Level 1 English. If you are interested, email drivingproject@waikato.ac.nz, or telephone Andrea Hodgetts on 07 8562889 ext 8954 Want to keep fit and have fun this summer?

Hamilton City Hawks Athletics offer a large range

By Shameem In the name of God The Merciful The Beneficient.

Eid ul-Fitr marks the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting. It begins with sighting of the new moon, the first day of Shawwal. It is an Islamic holiday, an occasion of joyful celebration and happiness.

Muslims are to dress in their best clothes, attend a

Dear New Zealand: Get Thinking. Get Writing. Get Heard.

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special prayer, in the morning, that is performed in congregation at Mosques or open areas. Before the prayer every muslim must pay Zakat al Fitr, an alms for the month of Ramadan. This equates to about 2 Kg of a basic foodstuff or its cash equivalent to needy. The prayer (salah) is then followed by a sermon then a prayer (dua) asking for forgiveness, mercy and help. After attending the mosque, family members and relatives visit each other; attend joyous parties, feasts and special carnivals.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Eid ul-Fitr

of activities for anyone interested in track & field athletics and running. The club has excellent facilities, organises big events and has a lot of success at championship events at all levels.

Suitable for everyone, from social runners to international champions. Check out www. hamiltoncityhawks.co.nz or come along to Porrit Stadium on a Wednesday evening clubnight to check it out.

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COLUMNS

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

The Finale

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As promised, this week features tales from the ASPA awards, and as a Special Bonus for Dawn, our fabulous, 2nd-Place-getting Editor, we are writing the column as we originally pitched the idea to her. After a pretty uneventful trip to Auckland, not counting a trip around some guy’s front lawn, we arrived at the Duxton Hotel.

As promised, this week features tales that will astound and amaze you. The Nexus team was in Auckland, and had a great time emospotting, DDR-ing (full props to Matt’s insane skillz), trying to keep up with VitC while he looked for the Whitehouse, and eventually heading to base, where we arrived at the Duxton Hotel. We all got dressed, discussed the best way to prove one’s heterosexuality, and headed off

After wandering around town, locating valuable landmarks (The Whitehouse), we headed off to the awards function, and were greeted by a lovely young lady, whose nice green dress showed off an even nicer G-string. I filed that one away. Nothing much to report for a while except had some drinks and talked to a fellow engineer about why everyone hates engineers (Waikato: They are stupid / Auckland: They are smart). The function started and free alcohol was served… it gets hazy…awards were given out for some stuff. Nexus danced up a storm. Some guy started talking at me while another guy pointed a camera at me. Guy#1 couldn’t stop laughing, and at some point he said ‘You DIDN’T just say that on national TV!?” Oh yeah, I’m going to be on Studentville, sometime near the end of the series. After party at a dingy karaoke bar, Special K and I owned some people at pool. I sang a duet with some girl.

to the awards function.

A pretty young thing in a nice little green number with an even nicer rack talked to me; VitC madly wrote in his cellphone, and then had a headbutt contest with an Auckland engineer. I finally figured out the reason why everyone hates engineers. Anyway the free alcohol started after a rap-battle on the stage downstairs featuring MNSFX yo.

Josh arrived, awards were given out for some awesome work by Josh and Dawn who both got 2nds, a band played and we all got up and danced for some reason. Nexus was later interviewed by Studentville, leading VitC to bust out “Any hole’s a goal” in reference to the floozies he’d been chatting up at the bar. We went to a karaoke bar. I won us a pool game while VitC keep buying drinks and wandering around and eventually he was up belting out ‘Somethin Stupid’ by Frank Sinatra with some girl.

We went to meet a friend at MET, which was great - we got in without paying cover charge. In Auckland they can actually afford to turn away ugly girls at the door so inside was awesome. More drinks… went to the Whitehouse courtesy of Josh’s VIP connection… spent $130 that I didn’t even have… got given a hat twice by some strippers, had it taken off me twice by other strippers… went to some bar at the

We met our friend at MET which was fucking awesome. Everyone there was of a very high standard, and naturally they let us in for free.

More drinks, VitC spent his time with some blonde who was upstairs… and then we had a rendezvous with Destiny at The Whitehouse. I’m pretty sure that was her name. VitC spent a lot of money. We went

waterfront at 530, danced with some girls, laughed my ass off at something… went home.

to a bar on the waterfront with Matt, VitC danced with a girl and she tripped over something… went home.

COLUMNS

By Nick Chester

Living on a Fear Well this is it. The last ever Rage in a Cage. While many of you will be glad to see the back of me, I hope there are just a few that will miss my pointless rants on a Monday morning. So as I leave my esteemed writing career behind me, I’d just like to remind you all that I was right and you were wrong. About everything. And in the spirit of that, I would like to leave you with a little sermon that you should take note of, as we all know that if I have said it, it’s worth reading.

So the final RIAC is about fear. Or, more specifically, how people everywhere are using fear to get you to do things that you otherwise wouldn’t do. It’s happening all around us and we often don’t even realise it. Fear is such a powerful concept because it works. If you are afraid, you are probably going to do all sorts of irrational and unreasonable things.

Instead of planning something and taking a much more standard formulaic approach, I’m doing things differently this week. All year I have looked at a different word each week, but when I was considering different options for today I just couldn’t find one to fit. I thought about doing ‘summer’ just because I had done the other three seasons, then I thought about ‘celebration’ because that’s what many students will be doing come then end of exams. However none of these words really felt right, so then I thought, well maybe I should look at the word ‘soul’.

It’s an interesting word and there are a few points worth mentioning in regards to the word’s etymology. There’s also a lot you can say about the word soul. However for some reason which I am not fully able to articulate, even to myself, I decided against the word. So today I just started typing and this column somehow turned into the ‘Process of a Word Freak’.

So, now that you have seen how the great word selection process is made, let us continue.

For example; how many of you voted for National because Don Brash told you that the big bad Maori was getting unfair breaks in this country?

All crap of course. I would like to think that only idiots would fall for this fear tactic and that educated University students would have a few more brains. But judging by the amount of shallow airheads on campus (mainly studying management and law, god help us all), I’m not so sure.

And what about all those scare tactics about meningitis and bird flu?

Of course it was all cooked up by the media on a slow news day and we were all made to think that if we didn’t vaccinate ourselves, we were all doomed. Utter shit. How many people do you know that have died from bird flu? (Asian students are not eligible to answer this question).

After I have finally made a decision about a particular word I come to the actual writing process. After spending an age, okay only 15 minutes, trying to find a quote in a quote books, I usually decide to let Google do the work for me. After I have found a quote I’m happy with, and one which I hope will get people thinking at least for a couple of seconds, I consult with my wonderful friend the Oxford English Dictionary Online.

However we do, I must confess, have rather a love-hate relationship.

Anyway, on OED I look up the etymology (the history) of the word, and its past and present meanings.

We are all made to fear second hand smoke and treat smokers like criminals, we are told that Diet Coke can cause cancer (so keep chugging down regular Coke, with ten teaspoons of sugar per can, cos hey, that’s gotta be good for you) and that marijuana and P are both “drugs” and are therefore equally as dangerous.

Once I have all the information I need, I finally put pen to paper.

Although technically I put my fingers on the computer keyboard and start typing. Usually I follow a fairly standard pattern; I talk about the word’s etymology, then a little about the word’s meanings, followed by a general discussion about the word’s application in modern life, in what is probably a rather vain attempt to bring the world of words, books and word freaks slightly closer to that of everyday life.

Now, as this is the last Word Freak Column of the year, I would like to say thank you to the people who have read and hopefully enjoyed my column. Hopefully the brief taste you have had of the word freak world will entice you to come back and visit. But for now, have a great holiday and good luck for your exams!

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Come on, wake up. For some reason, we believe more and more of the crap that we are told by the media and the government. Why? After all the dodgy things politicians and media giants have done over the years, why do we believe them more, and not less? I know I’m starting to sound like a Green Day song, so I will stop. But my final piece of advice is this: Live your life without irrational fear. Sure, be scared sometimes (I am whenever I see Rove on TV) but don’t let it control you. Because once they have you, they ain’t letting go. Goodnight and good luck.

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COLUMNS

It seems like only yesterday we were delving into the jaded world of emo kids and diving in to the land of promiscuity and sexual diseases inhabited by the town sluts and the homohawks. But now, we cap off this controversial column by taking a look behind the scenes of Nexus and beyond...

First off, who are the people who run this nifty little mag? Most people believe that editor Dawn Tuffery is the one who controls the inner workings of Nexus. But they’re all wrong and all gingers, because she is but a mere puppet for the real leader of the magazine, the omniscient ruler of all the student publications of New Zealand...

The Cat Piano.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Allegedly invented in1798 by Madame Bethany Ruth Mirken (or so our sources suggest), the Cat

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Piano consists of a group of cats whose tails are nailed to a board. Each board is connected to a hammer, and each hammer is connected to a key. When the key is pushed, the hammer strikes the tail, which elicits a pain stricken “meow” sound. But why create such a device? Apparently, Madame Mirken once stated that “I just want to hear my sweet pussy sing.”

Fast forward two hundred years and the Cat Piano has honed its cry of pain into a soothing, mesmerising siren song. This song is capable of hypnotising even the most sturdy of minds, the most strong-willed of people. So, when it rolled into Nexus, no-one stood a chance, least of all Matt Scheurich who designs the magazine.

Apparently the said designer was encapsulated by the Cat Piano and has tried to give it free advertising in the magazine. Some sources

confirm he even wanted it to become WSU president.

But that is not the only mystery that wafts around Nexus. Many have wanted to know the elusive identity of the mysterious Chuck and Benjo, who provide the entertaining Guide to Society on a weekly basis. Well, if you knew that, then you’d be as smart as us. Possibly.

But before we go we’d like to thank all of the emo kids, the wannabe gangstas, the town sluts, the homohawks, the art wanks and of course the filthy gingas, whose ridiculous manner and behaviour has been easy to stereotype and subsequently mock the burning shit out of.

See you all next year, when we return with more man-love. Hopefully.

Charlie and Benny.

COLUMNS

Warning: The following Boganology contains extreme vanity and heartfelt sentiment. Burton C Bogan does not condone the self indulgent bumblings of his real life alter ego, who he considers to be a panty waste. Reader discretion is advised.

The first Boganology was in April 2005. It was crap and relied largely on an urban dictionary definition. Since then those few who read this have been with me through the braggings of the high points of the past two years and the venting and crying during the low times. I’ve met some awesome people

As we near nearer to exams I can’t help looking back and thinking ‘Man, that was a good idea to get sponsored by Radio Hauraki so we could pretend to give stuff away and keep it for ourselves’. If only. It seems C.J. got sidetracked from the plan somewhere and started actually giving the stuff away. All those hard scammed DVDs, CDs, movie tickets and Mini Coopers, just gone. I did manage to keep the Supertramp Anthology, which got old fast so it will be autographed by me and possibly C.J. then placed on Trademe with a reserve of no less than $450. On a completely separate note, C.J., cheers for letting the ABBA

‘cause of this column. I’ve been bought drinks, had random people shake my hand, and received some cool emails. But even better I’ve also been abused while walking down the street. To all of you who showed your disgust or appreciation….you’re fucken awesome.

review go ahead - that was a major step in bridging the gap between classic rock and hardcore pop. Well, that’s that and just remember team, a bit of study now saves taking 5 papers next time. From your dawg Macca. I’m out.

While I could talk about the music I love indefinitely, it’s time to quit while I’m ahead. I don’t want to end up like Metallica or Megadeth. But all is not lost. Sounds like a ‘second generation’ of Boganologists want to pick up where I left off. Who knows, the new writers might let me have a few cameo appearances. Looks like I’m signing up for a PhD so I’ll be around three more years. So I’ve been thinking of a couple of new ideas, as writing for Nexus was so cool I want to do it again. The two ideas I have at the moment are both cartoons: Musical Moments and Slipknot Celebrity Treasure Island. Until then, if you want to find out what this Elder Bogan is up to check out www. myspace.com/boganology or www.nexusmag.co.nz/forum. Or as always you can drop me a line at boganology@yahoo.co.nz. Now I’ve been agonising about how to end this column perfectly, and as always I turn to GWAR as I think this perfectly sums up how I feel about all of you. Wherever you are, sing this in the loudest and most soulful way possible…even if you’re in an exam. In case I don’t see ya….Stay Bogan \m/

P.S. I’d like to thank the Panther for his kick-ass column. My guns are huuuuuge now. Kaboom!

And now a little message from me, CJ. First of all, thank you to everyone that emailed, entered the competitions, said how much they loved the column, etc. You’re the reason we did this. That and because our love of all things classic and rockin’ is too big to keep inside. There is seriously nothing else to beat good ol’ fashioned rock. Huge thanks of course to our steadfast sponsors, Radio Hauraki. You guys are awesome.

Mega, huge, totally killer thanks to Nexus for letting us print this shit. In particular Dawn for being a killer ed and Matt for making our column look good (and putting Axl in our banner. Yeeah!). Axl is the fuckin man, he can do no wrong! Shut up you Axl haters. Just zippit. By the way, chicks that dig rock are totally hot. Like scorching, know what I’m say’n? Hi Sharee. Props to Bogan man for bein’ a good Nexus neighbour \m/. We’re all bogans deep down inside. And thanks to Uncle Jim for providing many, many laughs. Funny guy. Well, that’s all folks. I’m not sure if we’ll be back next year. Who knows? Peace out kiddies, have a fun summer, play it safe, and Rock On! ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

“I’ll come to town for you, dress up like a clown for you Pull my pants on down for you, then I’ll crawl away.

I would blow hot fart on you, I would build an R2D2 I won’t even start for you, unless you fucken pay.

Cause I am the performer, I am hey oh yeah.

2…..3…..4…. [guitar solo]”

P.P.S. Anyone wanna go to Th’ Dudes concert? If you buy me a ticket I shall accompany you.

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COLUMNS

A bunch of ‘Nexus’ staff and contributors rolled to Auckland for the ‘Aotearoa Student Press Association Awards’ (ASPAs) recently. ‘Nexus’ came second in two categories, which is pretty good going all things considered. For the final column of the year I thought I’d focus on the post award activities; in particular our trip to the White House, which is, unbeknown to me at the time, ‘NZ’s Premier Adult Entertainment Venue’.

In my naïve little mind, I thought that the ‘White House’ was either a very up market club, or some kind of swanky stand up venue as evidenced by the steep door charge. ‘White House’ is a term that I generally associate with a certain degree of majesty, and sophistication, not smuttiness and depravity. In hindsight, the name actually makes perfect sense.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

It was the first time that I had frequented a strip joint and to be honest, it was totally different to how I had envisioned them, with the exception of the naked women. For the first half hour I was quite uncomfortable; a single thought occupied my mental processes. “Put your clothes back on, I haven’t taken you out to dinner or anything… this just isn’t right.” It then occurred to me that my archaic values could have easily been misconstrued as a bit gay given the circumstances.

The dancers were obviously enjoying themselves, and were actually very athletic and limber, unlike my pants at this point. I wasn’t aware of this fact myself until one of the dancers massaged my genital area with her foot. Now there’s a take home story for Mother. The speed and technique of the routines on the poles would have rivaled the abilities of most gymnasts.

The rest of the audience shared these views, showing their appreciation by jamming money into the garters of the dancers. It must be said that particular members of the ‘Nexus’ team appreciated the girls a lot. Via the magical Auckland EFTPOS machines, automatically allowing over withdrawals, these individuals have

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single handedly ensured that the girls will have no problems paying their tuition fees in 2007.

The male audience generally fell into one category, horny. I had imagined much groping, and yelling of inappropriate phrases; something resembling hyenas on the scene of a fresh kill, but everyone was quite reserved. The dancers initialized contact, and directed both the duration and nature thereof. Out of courtesy, or perhaps fear of being tossed out, the males accepted the dancers’ terms and conditions dutifully. Any money that was accidentally dropped was handed back to the dancers with nothing expected in return.

The female demographic was more complicated.

Some were obviously fellow employees, there to support friends on their night off. At one stage there was a bit of spontaneous interplay that was well received by all. Others had been dragged along by their partners, and were not impressed.

Much eye rolling and disapproving sneers towards both dancers and partners were emitted by these ladies. It was actually this group of women who were the most disrespectful to the dancers.

The last group was the most interesting; females who had brought their partners in an attempt to kickstart the libido. These women issued regular crotch grabs to their partners, eagerly anticipating any sort of reaction. This was the last thing I had expected to see at a female burlesque show; girls grabbing the guys. Some stayed for about two minutes, for others it took longer to prime the engine. These women were very patient and understanding and showed no animosity toward the dancers.

I learned that strip clubs do serve a number of useful functions in society, even if the primary clientele consists of dodgy old men and drunken ASPA nominees. The whole point of this rant is to encourage you all to try something different, something outside your comfort zone during the break. You may just learn something interesting.

So it looks like this is the final Nexus of the year and I blowed my load like a virgin on a sexy blonde last week. I now look a bit of an ass after last week’s outpouring of emotion (and by ‘look like an ass’ I mean damn sexy - I’m talking downtown).

Tip #24: In many recent articles that I have viewed on the intranet the new trend is to lose weight and get fit by having sex.

However, you should know by now that normal sex would not be enough of a workout for this muscled muscle man. So what I do is attack from the shad—wow, I think I am going into a dangerous area so I’m going to stop before I reach the Uncle Jim border. Oh and by the way, Uncle Jim really is that creepy fat guy. I know, it is disturbing, and gross. And he is filled with jam - strawberry.

Tip #25: Dance. No it’s not fruity. Oh, you wanna fight me cause I’m so sturdy and I’ve got huge guns, is that right? Well get in line with the rest of the bitches CHOW! Hi I’m drunk but twice as sexy. Mmmm yeah, come on shake it baby, everybody do the Panther.

Oh yeah, muscle is full of dance you know what I’m sayn’?

Did you read the previous statements and believe that I was really drunk? You naïve fool, it’s called acting - I am the Thespian. I guess it’s just like George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie…it’s just that I’m acting when I say those untruths”. And George Washington was also built like a truck - a muscley truck.

Goodbye. I love you pretty lady.

COMIX

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

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FOOD & DRINK

Restaurants

By Hazazel

McDonald’s Family Restaurant

Slackers Pancakes I’ve got keen on pancakes for breakfast lately.

They’re very easy to make and great comfort food.

Instructions Pour some milk into a bowl, add an egg. Add wholemeal flour (enough to make it a creamy consistency) and about half a teaspoon of baking powder and beat with a fork/whisk. Heat a little bit of oil in a frying pan and test whether a drop of the mixture sizzles. If so, pour in the pancake and tilt until it covers the pan. Cook until opaque with little holes in and flip (carefully). When done, cover in preferred filling (I like raw sugar and grapefruit juice) and roll up. For added deliciousness, add blueberries, maple syrup, stewed apple, bacon, banana, strawberries, ice cream, etc.

My companions tried a Chicken Royale burger with cranberry sauce, and some ‘Big Mac’s (a double-stacked beef burger, that, while large, still manages to be less than substantial). On these as well, the salad was quite scarce, and the burgers were somewhat wonky in their assembly.

The fries were disappointing, as they were slightly overdone, and a certain cardboardy texture suggested they had been left in the warmer for too long. One feature I did like was the self-serve drinks machine, which allowed for interesting combinations of soft drink flavours.

Some of my loyal readers have recommended that I try a certain eating establishment, and last night I took their advice and went with a couple of friends to McDonald’s Family Restaurant at Five Crossroads. It’s a fairly big place, with a cafe section and a prison playground for the children.

The decor is bright and clean but, except for the gaudy colour scheme, somewhat Spartan. The music is quite pleasant, but is often drowned out by unruly escapees from the playground.

I was a little perturbed to find we had to order at the counter, but even more taken aback to find they would not bring the food to our tables – we had to wait and take it ourselves! The staff looked fatigued, and appeared to be surviving on coffee, but they were friendly enough, if a little harried.

Luckily, the food arrived within minutes, and we dug in with gusto.

I finished my meal with a peach and apricot pie.

The filling was delicious, but the pastry (it was deep-fried!), was too dense and crusty to be appealing.

A regular patron tells me that their standards of quality and freshness have improved significantly in recent years. I am disturbed by thoughts of what diners may have consumed in ‘the old days’.

Certainly their nutritional information (on the back side of the tray liners) makes for some interesting reading. I’m afraid their speed of convenience and phenomenal opening hours will not convince me to patronise this establishment again.

My Chicken Caesar deli roll was quite tasty at first. It appeared to contain a generous amount of chicken (breast slices with a parmesan coating), and really did taste like Caesar salad, but it was rather thin on the actual salad component, and the chicken ran out as I got further down the roll.

BOOK REVIEW

New Sushi: From Rainbow Rolls to Seared Swordfish Sashimi Emi Kazuko, photography by Gus Filgate

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Reviewed by Hazazel

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The blurb of this attractive book reads “Over twenty-five recipes, beautifully photographed, make sushi fun and easy to prepare at home. Using a wide range of easily available ingredients, New Sushi features delicious dishes suitable for all occasions, from picnics to parties.” I wholeheartedly agree… with exactly two phrases: ‘beautifully photographed’, and ‘delicious dishes’.

ideas about what ‘readily available ingredients’ are (reformed herring roe, anyone?). Basic sushi ingredients can be bought at any Asian food shop and many supermarkets, but very little of the sushi in this book is ‘basic’. After some time spent anxiously searching the aisles of New Save, I only had the ingredients for three of the recipes in this book (though I was also limited by budget).

I’m rather a cookbook addict, and a big fan of Japanese food, so I was prepared to like this book, but it’s just not designed for the New Zealand kitchen. It’s published in London, and, from the looks of it, we have very different

With the help of a friend, we proceeded to make hosomaki (thin rolls), kani-zushi (crabmeat pressed sushi), inari-zushi (mixed sushi in a fried tofu parcel). We must have spent at least four hours doing so. The

instructions in the book are very detailed, but if you follow them exactly you will have some beautiful sushi, and no energy left to eat it.

Your guests will have raided your pantry, filled up on peanuts, and left.

It really is a lovely book, with some good advice on the finer points of making sushi, and some good ideas for different types and fillings.

However, my advice would be to get something much more basic (and preferably designed for New Zealand), unless you are already quite a sushi pro.

The shiny new bro’Town Annual 2 is sitting on my desk and everyone coming into the office seems to want it. But no, it’s there for research and you can’t have it.

Bro’town creator and producer Elizabeth Mitchell is the brains behind the Annual. We gave her a call.

So, how did you get bro’Town from quirky idea to fully realised series?

Perseverance. It always seemed like such an obviously really good idea to me and I felt it would touch a chord with lots of New Zealanders. It was hard getting money for animation because NZ on Air didn’t trust that we’d be able to deliver. So that was one battle. Also because it was quite expensive NZOA didn’t actually have the money, so we got it over a period of years rather than all at once.

Do you think understanding NZ humour will be a problem there?

I think they understand the humour – it’s just some of the actual sayings or terms, and we’ve done a big glossary. All the standards – ‘peyow peyow’, ‘not even ow’, etc. It’s funny some of the stuff they come back with - ‘Go home stay home’

What’s coming next? A bro’Town movie?

I’ve talked to so many journalists who’ve asked that and said ‘honestly, Oscar’s just finishing the first draft as we speak’ and it’s always true. But yes, we’re just about ready to send a draft down to the Film Commission. They’ve given us funding for that and we’re really happy with it. I’ve got this

is a New Zealand thing and we called one episode that, which really threw them. But rather than just sending off the scripts we do notes, and explain that sometimes what the boys are saying doesn’t make any sense even in English. With words like ‘fa’afafine’ they’ve decided to keep the original Samoan word in, and they’ve decided to do that with the Maori words as well. They say that they’re embarking on a cultural journey with us so they may as well take it all away.

little fantasy it could be in the film festival in 2008 but I don’t know if that’s going to work.

We’ve got some development funding for series four and we find out from NZ on Air next Friday whether we’ve got production. We’re in a worse position this year than we were last year with delivery though – we’ve only got this week’s episode at the network.

bro’Town took 4 years from conception to being on air, and 3 years of that was raising funds. The

knocked back that much. I guess we’ve got the balance right. When we first started, TV3 were

Sounds kinda like making a student magazine.

good thing was that if we’d got the money when we wanted it we’d have farmed the animation work out, because it was like ‘Oh my god, we couldn’t possibly start an animation studio’.

But over those years we learned more about animation and demystified it and thought, well it’s just paper and drawing boards and computers, and did it ourselves. It’s fantastic to have everyone in the same place.

telling us to be more out there and go for it, just be normal like the Naked Samoans’ theatre was.

Do many NZ animators work on the show?

Yep, we’ve got about 50. There’s probably about 30 in-house and another 20 who work at home and come in with it.

In the new bro’Town Annual it talks about translating the shows into Spanish and Portuguese for Cartoon Network Latin America.

We had a battle with ‘wuck’ – Wong the character says ‘wuck you!’. They were like ‘no, that’s too dodgy’ and we said ‘but it’s just ‘wuck’. It’s more meant to be funny than abusive. But yes, we do spend time trying to straddle the line between funny and offensive. There are some things that will go right over kids’ heads and adults will be going ‘I can’t believe they said that’.

Do you feel you’ve paved the way for more NZ animation series?

I guess we’ve given NZ on Air faith that New Zealanders can deliver an animated series and we’ve given the network proof that people like them.

I know, it is. The worst thing is that TV3’s got so used to us that they’re like ‘sweet as’ and I’m going ‘No it’s not, we should have them all there for you!’. Episode 6 will be the closest to the wire, as we’ve still got a lot of black and white images that haven’t even been coloured and all that kind of thing. So watch out for that, see if any mistakes go to air!

Elizabeth also said Nexus is a splendid magazine and she’s got a huge crush on us, but don’t ask her or she’ll just deny it.

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

I didn’t have any experience doing programmes or anything, so that was another stumbling block.

What’s it like treading that fine line between satire and stereotyping/offensiveness?

Well, we work within the broadcasting standards so we don’t say any words you’re not officially allowed to. TV3 censors us and we don’t get

So are you actually making it just week to week?

Yeah. Which is so not what the plan was. But everything’s gone wrong, in terms of production management and the overseas studios we’re working with, although it’s our fault, not theirs.

So we’re just working on episodes 3 and 4 now in audio and hopefully we’ll have them done in a couple of days, which is a terrible position to be in.

I know they say ‘Morningside para siempre’ for ‘Morningside for life’ which is lovely

The bro’Town Annual 2 is out now.

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Shapeshifter Soulstice Reviewed by Shane Dudfield

By Commander Emery The Mole Music management will be handling booking of shows for The Castle in Ward St and they have some wing dingers in the pipeline: October 27th November 3rd November 17 November 25th December 7th

- Mole Show TBA - Yawn Yawn Yawn Club Night - Amy Racecar CD Release party - The Debutantes, The Actualities (Welly) plus Guests - So So Modern, Shaky Hands, Pig Out

The Mole folk can book dates and help with anything in regards to the venue and hireage will be free. They are working on getting a PA down there over the next few months so the venue will be totally free and self sufficient. The Mole goal is to have a show/event/art stuff or whatever put on each week and to try and set up a venue in Hamilton where promoters/bands and stuff can put on shows without huge costs. For enquiries or bookings contact Sam or Adam or email molemusicltd@gmail.com or call 0274663224.

Aussie band Gigantic are on a massive tour of Australasia and play Hamilton with local indie music fellas, The Shrugs and jangle-core style icons, The Gills, at Sohl Bar, 20th October. The Gills have their debut CD in the pipeline and Gills main man Mike recently finished an EP, Tindernicks. www.myspace.com/giganticau Upsett Records have a one-year birthday celebration on at Ward Lane, Saturday 25th November. My Brother got Mulched, Ministry of Hypocrisy, PSI, Gawj and The Wrongmen are playing this show and entry will involve money.

Anyone who went to Guitar Wolf last time they devastated Ward Lane would surely know the sweat drench golden leather quiff rock power of these upstanding Japanese gents. Guitar Wolf are coming back to NZ with an Auckland and Wellington shows at this stage. They have a new compilation out, Golden Black, and are trying to raise funds to make a sequel to their classic comedy/horror/zombie/UFO/rock n roll flick, Wild Zero. Hopefully they’ll come our way, otherwise make your way to Kings Arms on the 9th of November.

Don’t forget, Contact 88.1 FM’s 3rd Birthday and End of Year Celebration is happening on Friday the 13th at around 6pm. The Midnights, Cosmic Ska Child, Hollow Grinders, Dynamo Go, The Gills and Domestic Chemicals will be playing in the cow shed courtyard outside the Contact radio station. It’ll be a good night for chilling out and a great way to relax before the stresses of studying for exams really set in. Check out www.contactfm.co.nz.

The latest offering from Shapeshifter is an expansive effort, incorporating Jazz, Funk, Hip Hop, Dub and Soul into their well established Drum ‘n’ Bass sound.

This could well make for a cluttered mish-mash of genres, however Shapeshifter blends the styles seamlessly, with sprightly rhythms weaving themselves through the tracks.

The beauty of the album is in that even if you strip the fundamental rhythm drive from the tracks, the underpinning songs remain enduring, as opposed to the inane filler Concord Dawn seem to have resigned upon (Speaking of which, what the hell happened to those guys, do they just not give a care?) Sure there are the evergreen high-speed beats that prove the distinct mark of their sound, but it’s matching this with engaging melodies, introspective grooves and earnest vocals, with impeccable precision and control of tempo that make Soulstice a great album.

The Mint Chicks Crazy? Yes! Dumb? No! Reviewed by Matt Scheurich Before I get into some long-winded tirade about what kind of sound the Mint Chicks are, because I’m sure you’ve heard them before, I just want to say how much I really like this album. If by some unfortunate reason you haven’t heard of them before, where have you been for the past 3 years?

The Mint Chicks successfully combine art wank with punk and pop and this new album is one of the best uses of the combination. While their first album was abrasive and heavier on the punky side, Crazy?

Yes! Dumb? No! reveals their more articulate song writing skills that blend punk simplicity, pop sensibilities and hooks and imaginative lyrics into a cake that is very edible to those who have never tasted them before. I could understand how some Mint Chicks fans might see less abrasion and more pop as “selling out” but personally I don’t ever see these guys selling out more than they already have, and if they do then they have my congratulations!

The only real almost-traditional Mint Chicks song on the album is ‘She’s Back On Crack’. The album as a whole has a smoother form of vocal delivery and tracks can go from short punkesque pieces to simplified catchy songs and then to longer droney chill-out songs (‘Sleeping During the Day’ is excellent). There’s lots of variety for everyone to pick and choose from. I am greedy and enjoy the whole lot.

By Kazuma Namioka

Firewall

For the first 10 minutes or so, it is most incredibly boring.

Setting the scene was never so dull; if I wanted to watch an average white American upper-middle-class family go about their business I’d… I don’t want to watch an average white American upper-middle-class family go about their business.

But then the family is taken hostage (even the wee dog).

Oh good, the evil Brit mastermind will do everything in his power to kill his own team and spare the family. Not to be outdone, Harrison Ford kicks it up a notch and by the end of the film comes first equal in kills, while the rest of them, those classically referred to as “bumbling crooks”, serve as fodder for Ford’s fury. The thriller elements involve fiddling with gadgets like cell phones and laptops to suck the credit from a bank, and aren’t very thrilling. Even the music is average.

Lover of Life, Singer of Songs

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Let me ruin the ending for you: Harrison Ford kills the mastermind and rescues his family (even the wee dog). As they leave the site of the showdown, arm-in-arm, the first cop cars pull up, and fade to black. So what you saw was just a bland movie, right? Wrong! Besides the brutal last fight scene ended with Paul Bettany struck in the back with a motherfucking pickaxe, there was an unexpected message veiled in the subtext. Why were there no minority characters? Why a bad Brit instead of terrorists (ie: Muslims, or maybe scary Asians)? Here it is. Britain, you are doing a bad thing. Britain, America is going to stab you in the back. The American Family will come out unscathed; for them, all conflict is internal, their children only threatened by obesity. No, actually, I lie. The only saving grace of the film was the pickaxe. Right through his heart.

Freddie Mercury

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REVIEWS

Books Out of the Red Richard Prebble THE LETTER LIMITED

Reviewed by Dildo Daggins Richard Prebble is a man of many words. Many words that have filled up other books such as “I’ve Been Thinking” (oh, really?), “I’ve Been Writing” (you tease!), “What Happens Next” (we’re curious too) and “Now It’s Time To Act” (gnarly!).

This book is quite possibly about something completely boring, so boring that I am just going to review it based on the front and back covers.

The title “Out of the Red” is playfully considered in the cover design as the word “Red” is coloured red. It’s quite interesting to note too that the word “Out” is surrounded by red which would say that “Out” is in the red. If you were going to take the cover literally by its colour symbolism, the book would actually be titled “Out in the Red (which is red)”. This truly is a fascinating book so far.

Richard’s name is half in red and half out of red. Which way is it going to be, Rich, in or out of the red? This internal struggle he has represented on his cover is gripping.

Flicking over to the back page, there’s the tidy looking Dick himself and underneath is a blurb. After reading the blurb, I still don’t quite understand the gist of the book but I’ll bet it’s something to do with being out of the red. However, the blurb starts like this: “That spring morning, I walked into the prime minister’s office still fairly green.” He’s introduced another colour now! This is brain bending stuff – definitely not for the weak hearted.

Read it if: You like Richard Prebble, politics, business and have troubles getting to sleep. Just read the cove—ZZZzzz…

Sex, Lies and Online Dating

New Boots in New Zealand Gillian Orrell EXISLE PUBLISHING

Reviewed by Pheobe Meryll You know what you could be doing instead of drinking this summer? Walking 550 kilometres around NZ’s top tramping tracks and sleeping rough! If that doesn’t rock your boat, you probably won’t get into Gillian Orrell’s detailed account of her journeys exploring our nine Great Walks but I found it fascinating. Then again, I get a kick out of sandy sleeping bags and exhaustion. Tramping is the ideal way to get away from cellphones and email for a bit and check out the country firsthand and Orrell does so with a vengeance. The style is fairly blow-by-blow detailed, which will either endear it to interested parties or turn off those wanting more immediate bling. If you’re considering any of these walks, New Boots is definitely worth a read. Nice photos. May induce wanderlust.

The Six Pack

Rachel Gibson HACHETTE LIVRE

Winning Writing from NZ Book Month

Reviewed by Cheesi Syudonimm

WHITIREIA PUBLISHING

Reviewed by Pheobe Meryll

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

‘He’s the undercover cop on the hunt for a female serial killer… who’s not expecting to lose his heart She’s the thriller writer researching her next book, who doesn’t realise she’s under surveillance… by Mr Right’ This Little Black Dress book follows the exhilarating escapades of Quinn McIntyre and Lucy Rothschild as they lead the reader through a tantalising and mysterious world laced with murder, love, deceit, and of course, online dating: “the sides of his jacket fell open across his chest to reveal hard pecs and abs… that begged the question: why did a guy like him have to go online to find a date?”

Gibson’s flowing prose is gilded with alluring

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adjectives and pulse-stopping, heart wrenching pauses. “…Beneath the white fabric of her shirt, her breasts rose and fell and pushed against the thin material with each breath”. This is an essential read for the modern girl with a lust for romance and sexual adventure. “…watching his thumbs brush her hard nipples was the most erotic thing he’d ever done. A hundred times more erotic than watching a porno flick… ‘Your nipples are hard,’ he whispered into one side of her throat. ‘Like a woman who wants to make love.’ ”

What is there to say? There’s no beer involved, but it’s a kickass collection of short fiction and poetry from some emerging and established writers in NZ in one compact volume that’s selling at a cool six bucks (‘6 writers for 6 dollars’ is the tagline). Included is work from Briar GraceSmith, Brian Turner, and 15 year-old newcomer Pheobe Wright. There’s a whole lot of logos and sponsorship in the book, hence why it’s so cheap perhaps, but that fades quickly when you’re absorbed in one of the bite-sized stories. Get one for yourself and a few more for Christmas presents without breaking the bank.

REVIEWS

Films Brick RIALTO CINEMAS

Review by Joe Citizen If any movie deserves cult status, it’s this one. If my first feature film looks like this I’ll be ecstatic – definitely required viewing by anyone who’s looking at making captivating cinema on a budget. There are a few overplayed moments, that’s certain, but otherwise this taut psychologically enthralling noir thriller is unmissable. Set in a high school, social outsider Brendan plays detective when he finds his ex-girlfriend dead in a storm drain. She went off the rails some time ago when she tried social climbing in drug land, and now Brendan wants answers. He shakes the tree and out falls the seedy underbelly of society: the highs and lows of life as a series of plays, each move revealing another layer of the story underneath.

Rialto

By Leigh McGeady

First time feature director Rian Johnson has made a film that could’ve been made anywhere. It’s no surprise that he was awarded the Sundance Festival’s jury special prize for originality of vision – below the surface of an unremarkable high school is an underworld populated with utterly believable characters who spit dialogue at each with sizzling intensity. It’s like a cold bath of the hyper-real ground up into the glass of popular culture, a contemporaneous simulation that exists within its own rules whilst revealing an inside seat to all of its grubby and glamorous pretensions.

Think Chinatown mixed with A clockwork orange and The big easy. OK, it’s nothing like that, but maybe you get the idea. This is my last review of the year and I can go out on a limb – it’s like Colours mixed with Humphrey Bogart, it’s bad and it’s beautiful and laconically divine.

Sure, not every shot is as well lit as a Hollywood blockbuster but its gritty and tense plotline kept me hooked like a junkie wanting his next fix.

That’s what the Brick is, a big deal recut with truth as its first casualty. Forget the straight morality of the day-time, this is like Friday night on a long dark road with nitrous in the tank and a head full of P. You don’t have to like it, but it’s there with the stereo pumped up and the boot full of polythene and messy unmentionable moments that spring out when you hit that possum looking up at you with those big honest eyes.

We coulda made this here. This could be a local story. Go see Out of the blue for its history, but be certain that Brick is out there and will exist as a masterpiece with or without you.

Check

The last Rialto Check for another year - I can’t believe how fast this year has gone. I hope it’s been a good one for you all, and I wish those of you unfortunate enough to have exams much luck! So as it’s the final episode I shall give you a brief rundown of the films and events we have coming up in the future months.

Also opening in the same week is The Wind that Shakes the Barley fresh from the Festival circuit.

It’s a provocative drama set in Ireland’s County

On the 12th of November is Rialto’s big 10th birthday! Can you believe we’ve been around that long? And half of Hamilton doesn’t even know we exist! We will be offering such niceties as $10 tickets for that week (for film club members), and hopefully, fingers crossed, a major birthday party the following Sunday with cake, nibbles, wine and a fine film for all the friends of Rialto. Keep updated by joining our film club online!

Lastly we can’t forget that the Italian Film

Festival begins its time with us from the 22nd November until the 6th December. We have a great line up of approximately 17 diverse Italian films - comedies, romantic dramas, documentaries and even a thriller thrown in for good measure. Come on in and pick up an Italian Film Fest brochure for your perusal.

So that’s that. Everyone here at Rialto wishes you all the best for your summer, Christmas and New Year’s. Don’t forget to slip, slop, slap and wrap. And I’m sure you will get outta the sun long enough to enjoy one or ten of Rialto’s fine films.

See you at the movies!

News flash - POSTER SALE in the Rialto foyer on Saturday 28th October 11.30am - 2.30pm.

All posters must go! $5 each and banners $20!

Great for the flat walls!

ISSUE 25 / 16 OCTOBER 2006

Rightio – late this month we have Fast Food Nation opening. It has an awesome cast including Ethan Hawke, Greg Kinnear, Patricia Arquette & Kris Kristofferson and it’s about “The Big One” - the latest burger from fast-food chain “Mickey’s” and which is shaping up to be their most successful product yet. However, there’s something strange in the meat. Richard Linklater directs this controversial adaptation of Eric Schlosser’s book Fast Food Nation.

Cork between 1920 and 1922; that dangerous period that saw the signing of the Anglo-Irish treaty in December 1921 and the outbreak of civil war soon afterwards. And did I mention it stars the sexy Cillian Murphy? If you are lucky enough to be one of our film club members (sign up on our website if you’re not yet!) the first 100 to bring in their email with the details on it to see this film get a FREE Guinness from Biddy Mulligans! Now who wouldn’t want that?

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