issue 3 by Nexus Magazine

O Week – Last Days Saturday 4th March – The Exponents at the Hillcrest Tavern. Last gig at the Hilly, eh? It’s a sad day. However, I doubt the Hilly could have asked for a much better send off. The Exponents are the epitome of rowdy pub legends, and the capacity crowd were there for some serious partying. Having arrived late, I missed some of the Exponents’ set and possibly also Autozamm, who I didn’t know were playing but were probably very well received if they did. The audience’s powers of discrimination weren’t at their highest anyway. Jordan Luck introduced a distinctly suspect ‘Dave Dobbyn!’ to huge cheers. Did it matter if it was really Dave or not? Not at all. There was beer and energy and a million sing-a-long favourites. As in many Orientations past, the Hilly heated up just like an oven. And girls kept jumping on stage for some sweaty Jordan lovin’. Did I mention the lack of discriminatory powers? Eventually, the gig descended into a riotous celebratory shindig with girls and guitars everywhere. Huge. A great end to O week. RIP Hillcrest Tavern.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Last Days - Cont.

Issue 3 路 March 13 2006

Party Review By the Party Review Guys Shout outs to all you party people and welcome to the ﬁrst party review for 2006! I got the message early Sunday morning letting me know there was going to be an O week after-party this Monday night. Getting the message at 7am would be enough to put anyone off, but being n00b to the party review scene I thought this was the norm. I arrived to the party as instructed at 7.30pm and I guess you could say things were well underway. I found myself around a table of four guys reading their 1st week’s notes with a six pack of Waikato on the table. I sat down at their table and listened to them talk about who would win in a battle to the end between the Silver Surfer and Captain Ultra!* I was in the middle of thinking to myself of a way to politely leave, when one of the party goers, who will remain nameless, declared that there would be girls attending their get-together shortly. However the girls were, well to think of a better word, regulars at the ‘all you can eat’ Pizza Hut in town. An hour or two later I ﬁnished the six pack and left with more knowledge about Counter Strike or “CS” than I ever wanted to know. As I was leaving, the party had moved onto the Xbox and the study was forgotten. I guess they really let loose. If only I had joined them for O week. Unfortunately after reading my review the party attendees chose not to have their photos published in Nexus this week. LAME. Come on Waikato University! Are these all the parties that you have on offer at the moment? I’m sure someone out there can do better that a six pack of beer, superheroes and two fat chicks! Party Rating

2/10

*For anyone who cares, apparently Captain Ultra would win due to his superhuman strength and x-ray vision!!!

Having a party? Txt me anytime (after 7am) 0274 279319 and Jon Black and myself will review your party for this ﬁne mag.

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s t n e t n Co Fashion Features

DViCE – Talking to Tee Man Aaron Hogg: 17 Who D’ya Think You Are? Madam Muck? An interview with Gemma Osborne: 19 Yesteryear’s Fashion – Today: 20 What Modelling’s Really Like: 21

O Week photos Exponents gig (Sat): 02-03 Friday (Sneaks, Bomfunk MCs, Odessa): 24-25 Clubs Day: 33

Articles Want Money? Forget Big Wednesday! Getting scholarships: 22 Favourite Women: 23 Gig Review: Bomfunk MCs with Odessa: 24 It’s All About Sex: An interview with the Presidents of the USA: 46

Regulars Party Review: 05 Editorial: 07 News: 08-13 Lettuce: 14 Opinion: 15 I’ve Got 5 On It – Fashion: 16 WSU columns: 26 Notices:31 Confessions Of A List Maker: 34 Rage In A Cage: 34 Classic Rock Review: 35 Boganology 101: 35 The Spinster’s Cat: 36

Musings of a Word Freak: 36 From Rags to More Rags: 37 U ‘N I: 37 Uncle Jim’s Kiddies Page: 38 Comics: 39 Split Decision: 40 Killing Time on Campus: 40 Food: 41 CD Reviews: 42 DVDs: 43 Poetree: 44 Films: 45 Busted: 47

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Credits Editor Dawn Tuffery nexus@waikato.ac.nz Designer Matt Scheurich graphics@nexus.npl.co.nz Assistant Designer Jamie Moore Advertising Manager Tony Arkell admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz 0211766180 Interim News Editor Joshua Drummond news@nexus-npl.co.nz Beloved contributors Hannah Yen Boulanger Party Review Guys Faceleg MDRAR J.S Campion Jess Aaron Hogg Gemma Osborne Brie Jesson Scholarships Advisors Shaunna L. Milloy Charly Draper Carl Watkins Kat Cox Sam Brown WSU Katrin Gorler Danielle Thomson Sophie Porter Burton C. CJ Gary Oliver Mike Matthew Wills Uncle Jim Vitamin C & Special K Medium Salsa Hazazel Kazuma Namioka Mo Heui Leigh McGeady Joe Citizen Josh Drummond Nexus: Nexus: Impeccable Impeccable style style since since before before yo’ yo’ mamma mamma wore wore ﬂares ﬂares The The views views expressed expressed in in this this publication publication are are not not necessarily necessarily the the views views of of Nexus Nexus Publications Publications 2003 Ltd, any of our advertisers, WSU or APN. 2003 Ltd, any of our advertisers, WSU or APN. Nexus Nexus is is aa member member of of the the Aotearoa Aotearoa Student Student Press Press Association Association (ASPA). (ASPA).

Editorial It’s a bit lonely in the office this morning. Matt’s arcade machine is unmolested in the corner. The leftover free beer from O Week is still here. The fresh new student mags that usually get seized because they’re not Nexus and therefore wildly exciting are sitting quietly on my desk. I’m even doing work, because there’s no people around to help me procrastinate. My hacking coughs echo forlornly through the hall. The reason for this seems to be that everyone is away sick. It may be bird flu, governmental control tactics or just the deadly germs wafting off the Waikato river, but it’s a nasty strain of something nonetheless. Due to his wildly competitive nature, Nexus design guy Matt didn’t just get sick. He had to get super sick, the sort where you go to hospital. No piddly colds for him. Whether it was bird flu or not has yet be confirmed. To his many worried fans, yes, he is going to live but we’re going to try doing this issue via email to circumvent the ‘no work’ rule. If you’re reading this, then it presumably worked. Let’s have an optimistic ‘hooray for technology’. Oh, and if anyone wants to send Matt copious quantities of 72% dark chocolate as a get well present, I’m quite happy to…look after it. So why is everybody getting sick? I do have a wild theory - block your ears if you’re easily scared. It’s because summer is, sadly, just about over. It’s March now, and you know what that means. Autumn. Generally followed by winter. Fog. Rain dripping into your underpants while you’re cycling. Dampness permeating the house. Wet washing draped over the heater. Infectious lectures full of spluttering and snuffling. Hamilton reacts badly to wet weather too. The soggy fog and clouds seem to have an affinity with this particular ex-swamp, regularly stretching out their metaphorical limbs and relaxing beside the river for days on end. This gives the city something of a bad name. Hamilton in the sun can be magnificent, but it’s the miserable gloom of winter that people really remember. But rain also means happy plants, happy ducks and full water tanks. You can put on old clothes and splash in puddles. You know, if you wanted to. It means you can have heavenly hot showers and sit around in your pyjamas eating warm apple crumble (recipe on page 41). When you’re in bed there’s a romantic pattering on the roof. Rain encourages people to stay inside and form bands, write articles or talk to each other. And putting on warm dry socks after being cold and wet is possibly the best sensation in the world. However, having now talked up the joys of rain, the sky outside is looking much nicer than when I started writing. It’s downright sunny, and apparently a warm March is forecast. Enjoy it. But keep those raincoats ready just in case. If you’re one of the sick, I wish you all the best. Keep up the drinking (water, that is), sleep lots, wash your hands lots, eat well, and all that stuff. Cough all over everybody to make sure they don’t escape unharmed. And if by some stroke of luck and a brilliant immune system you’ve avoided this current lurgy thus far, congratulations. Come and bring us hot drinks. “One kind word can warm three winter months” - Japanese proverb

Designer’s Word

Expelled by Matt

Working from home is great, so is having help on deadline day - Thanks heaps Jamie! I wish people adhered to deadlines. There’s a reason for ‘em.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

NEWS OSM Lively As Ever Josh Drummond Controversy over Nexus, Waikato Student Union finances and a typically low student turnout marked last Wednesday’s Open Student Meeting. The first part of the meeting was mostly discussion over whether to pay the liquidator of Nexus the full amount owed them by the WSU, which comes to $15000. There was some argument that WSU should only pay $10000 and let the liquidator sue the union for the remaining $5000. This suggestion was shot down by a motion to pay the full amount, which was passed 24-15. The motion closes the last chapter in the ongoing Nexus saga, which dates back to when the magazine’s production company was liquidated after financial and legal squabbling with WSU in 2002. “It’s good to get it out of the way,” said WSU president Sehai Orgad. “After what happened in the past it’s a good way of wiping the slate clean.” Sehai also stressed the importance of avoiding circumstances like a repeat of the situation in 2002 when the union and Nexus were constantly at loggerheads, and said that students had to be vigilant. “Given what’s happened in the past, it’s a good example of what students need to be wary of.” There were also rumbles of unconstitutional dealings within the WSU which surfaced at the meeting. Onlookers reported doubts

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

about the way the meeting was conducted, with Disabled Student’s Officer Jeffery Hawkes criticising the “professionalism” of the meeting. “I don’t think it was run as professionally as it should have been,” he said. “WSU should be seen as an organisation that fixes people up, pays its bills, does the right thing. To suggest that we not pay the liquidators the full amount owed them is ridiculous.” WSU Vice President Carl Gordon came under fire from members of the WSU Executive for bringing items to the OSM that were, apparently, not on the agenda, not discussed by the WSU beforehand and which could have a significant financial impact on the organisation. The item in question was a motion that “the capital on Student Loans be abated at 10% per year of the original amount for students who graduate and stay and work in NZ.” Unfortunately Mr Gordon could not be reached for comment before deadline. The motion was passed 20-1, with the only “against” being Sehai Orgad, who said she was troubled by the Vice-president’s actions from a constitutional point of view. “Students need to realise that OSM voting has a huge impact in the running of the union – which then affects what is provided for the whole student body.” However, there were no complaints about the free sausages which were apparently up to the usual standards.

ign a hit a p m a c e iz s r supe Josh Drummond Industrial actions against mostly fast-food employers have been taking place across the nation in a campaign dubbed “Super Size My Pay.” Taking their cue (and logo) from the popular documentary “Super Size Me,” the campaigners have dubbed their latest action, against multi-national Restaurant Brands, their “most successful yet.” The National Business Review devoted an article to the maverick union, “Trade Unions Go Punk.” “The campaign is tailor-made for the Michael Moore generation,” said the author, former Craccum editor Ben Thomas. And the union says that the campaign is only just beginning. March 18 marks the union’s biggest activity yet, the Big Pay Out. Unite predicts that “thousands” of Auckland workers will take to the streets for a demonstration and free concert. The day will apparently be heralded by mass strikes at many of the city’s fast food restaurants, who will be joined by call centre and casino workers. The concert is in support of the union’s demands for a $12 an hour minimum wage, secure hours and an end to youth rates. “We represent those who are low-paid, and who are traditionally ignored by traditional unions,” said Joe Carolan, Unite Union’s city centre organiser and Campus Co-ordinator. “There’s been an explosion of interest. We’ve had around 5000 people join up in just the first two months, and there’s more joining all the time.”

Coming to a campus near you. Joe Carolan has a history of being involved with student movements. He was part of a “fight back for free education” movement that staged an occupation of Waikato University’s B Block “around 2000.”

And he says that students – in and out of Hamilton – are definitely part of Unite Union’s plans. “Once we get the [Big Pay Out] out of the way, then we see ourselves going national, and we’re already established in some of the major centres and campuses” said Carolan. “We’re seeing the campaign as a fire that will hopefully spread to all minimum wage earning groups – many of whom are students.” It seems the fire may already be spreading to other parts of the country, and has gathered support in the political arena. “The campaign is leading to a major debate on New Zealand’s low wage economy, and is now supported by national groups as diverse as the Greens, the Maori Party, Workers Charter, the Congress of Trade Unions and the New Zealand University Students Association,” said a Unite Union press release.

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“Sue Bradford’s bill to abolish youth rates has now been supported by the Labour Party to go to the Select Committee stage. Motions will be put forward at Auckland University Students Association’s next assembly for Uni students to support the demands.” The Super Size My Pay activists, under the banner of the Unite Union, previously orchestrated the “world’s first” Starbucks strike in Auckland, and staged a “massive” rally that filled Auckland’s Town Hall, where NZ Idol winner Rosita Vai, who had previously worked for minimum wage at KFC, sang to over a thousand union members and supporters. The union also set up New Zealand’s “first ever,” call centre strike actions. A Unite-related strike action in February at Queen Street McDonalds drew major media attention when a McDonalds consultant sent Unite organiser Matt McCarten a letter, which threatened to sue the union for losses due to the strike action.

Website, slightly used, 1 careful owner

Buy Now for $700m

Joshua Drummond New Zealand’s most popular website, Trade Me, was bought this last week for $700 million by Australian company Fairfax.

Above: Image of a male condom

Health Authorities Issue HIV Warning to Students Kerra McEwen It could be as simple as getting sick from not wearing a jacket when it’s cold outside. Or, it could be as complex as contracting HIV from taking the risk and not using a condom when having sex.* Recent figures showing that the HIV virus is currently at an all-time high in New Zealand should be an indication that students aren’t as invincible as some might think. Glenys Wood, education coordinator for the Hamilton FPA sexuality education unit, believes that students especially are at high risk of contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. This, she says, is partially because of their tendencies to loose inhibitions when drinking or doing drugs, hence the whole invincibility factor. “When people consume a lot of alcohol they can make unwise decisions like not to use a condom,” Wood says. “Student partying goes hand in hand with unsafe sexual behaviour. It just takes one person.” A nurse working in tertiary education, who prefers to be left anonymous, also expresses concern for students who indulge in drinking followed by unsafe sex. “Those who have one night stands with people they don’t know and those who have recreational sex have a higher risk of contracting HIV or STDs. Using a condom is the most important thing,” she says. “It costs very little and it’s the most effective.” Russell Menzies, assistant manager from the Outback, agrees that alcohol does bring down inhibitions. “Sometimes people go to the bar and end up having sex with those

they normally wouldn’t have. If someone is planning to score before they go out they should be prepared,” he advises. The Outback displays “safe sex” posters around the bar and also offers condom dispensers in both the male and female toilets for those who may be unprepared if they meet someone while out for drinks. “By no means do we promote spontaneous or unsafe sex,” Menzies says. While he stresses that people are using the dispensers, he allows that it probably doesn’t “weight out” with how many condoms are being bought, in comparison with the number of couples leaving the bar together. “There’s not as big of a dent in the condom machines as we’d like to see,” he says. Menzies believes that it may be a good idea for bars to start offering free condoms to their patrons, which could eventually lead to a decrease in those who contract HIV and STDs across the country. “We’ve done promos giving out condoms and we go through them very quickly. It’s a good possibility that we could do it all the time. It’s just a matter of getting supplies. It would be a cost but we’re keen to do our part,” he added. The FPA provides free services such as sexual check-ups, contraceptives and has a “youth only” policy on Friday evenings. For more info call 839-4061. *You don’t actually get sick from getting cold. But it’s too good a metaphor to pass up, eh?

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Trade Me was founded in 1999 by university dropout Sam Morgan at the age of 23. Since then, it has acquired a membership of 1.2 million – around a quarter of New Zealand’s population. The site is forecast to play host to approximately 35 million auctions this year, and has spawned a thriving online community who gather on the Trade Me message boards. Fairfax are one of Australasia’s biggest media groups, with numerous holdings in New Zealand including the Sunday Star-Times newspaper and other dailies. It reported revenues of $1.88 billion in 2005. “The strong revenue and earnings performance of Fairfax Digital in Australia, together with today’s acquisition of Trade Me in New Zealand, are coming together to give Fairfax a higher growth profile,” said Fairfax chief executive David Kirk. Mr Morgan will continue at Trade Me as CEO for a further two years. The deal with Fairfax, which is subject to regulatory approval under the New Zealand Overseas Investment Act, is expected to close in April. Sam Morgan is expected to make a personal profit of $227 million off the deal, which some analysts have called a “gamble.” Sam Morgan started Trade Me after a failed attempt to buy an electric heater online. Since then, the company has dominated the New Zealand online marketplace. New Zealand remains one of the few countries in the world where American e-commerce giant, Ebay, is not the major online auction presence.

Short Shorts Short Shorts

Hamilton – more than the Queensland Reds expected. Students turning in poor performances at Waikato University might do well to follow the example of the Queensland Reds Super 14 team, who blame Hamilton – during O Week - for their 35-17 loss to the Chiefs. The Waikato Times reported that Reds captain Chris Latham cited “boredom” as contributing towards their colossal loss. “We had three very high intensity games at home and this was our first game away in what would not be the world’s most exciting town,” Latham said. Latham’s statement seems a tad desperate, given that Hamilton boasts umpteen bars, a casino, several strip clubs, and a number of brothels – plenty of available entertainment for the average rugby player. However, several Reds players were reportedly spotted in the casino pre-match.

Hamilton Nets Rally Of New Zealand Holly McKay and Darryn Smith Hamilton is set to host the New Zealand leg of the World Rally Championship in November. The event has been snatched from Auckland and Northland in a three-year deal. This is being touted as another huge achievement for Hamilton, which only three weeks ago secured the V8 Supercars race originally planned for Auckland. The New Zealand Service park where all cars and teams will be stationed is at Mystery Creek, and the start to finish point will be in Hamilton’s CBD on Hood St. All the world’s best rally drivers will be on show including defending world champion Sebastien Loeb. Hamilton Mayor Michael Redman was pleased when the announcement was made on Wednesday morning. Mr. Redman told the Waikato Times that Hamilton would now

be the motor racing capital of the country. “Rally and V8 Super events will bring huge opportunities for Hamilton,” he said. “These are massive events with broad public appeal, which will not only bring large numbers of visitors to the city, but will also create a sense of excitement and vibrancy.” The second to last round of the WRC will be held from November 16-19 on Waikato, King Country and Franklin gravel roads. There are 16 rounds making up the WRC, the most recent being in Mexico on Monday, won by Sebastien Loeb. Mystery Creek general manager Barry Quayle told the Waikato Times the public would ﬂock to Mystery Creek to see the high performance cars, teams, drivers and entertainment, which would include concerts and cart races. “Our aim is to have an event [at Mystery Creek] not seen before.”

Student Loan interest rate set. Spawns outbreak of yawns in people reading this. In a move that will likely attract zero interest from students who qualify for interest free loans, the Government has announced the student loan interest rate for the new tax year. The rate for the 2006-2007 tax year has been set at 6.9 per cent – down from last year’s 7%, Tertiary Education Minister Michael Cullen and Revenue Minister Peter Dunne announced today. “Most borrowers living in New Zealand will have interest-free student loans from 1 April,” the Ministers said. “Borrowers who qualify for interest-free loans will continue to be charged interest during the tax year but their interest will be written off after 31 March 2007.” However, the Ministers affirmed that those that lived overseas for more than six months would not qualify for the write off.

Wait for U2 The 2 sold out U2 concerts scheduled for March 17 and 18 in New Zealand have been postponed until further notice. The tour’s organisers, The Next Aventure, have released a statement saying the immediate family of one of the group members is ill. Ten concerts in all have been postponed, including those planned for Japan, Hawaii and Australia.

Twister takes porker A tornado in Canterbury reportedly “picked up,” a kune kune pig in a minor tornado on Wednesday, as well as tearing through the top storey of a 140 year old house. The house’s owner told the Otago Daily

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Times that the tornado was “the sort of thing normally seen on TV.” “It was only sheer good luck no-one was killed,” he said. The status of the pig is currently unknown.

Uni Might Make Money After All The University of Waikato Council yesterday received the 2005 Annual Accounts, which show the institution achieving a $6.1 million surplus for the year ending 31 December 2005. The positive result – which was not predicted at the start of the year - is welcomed as a signal that the University is coming out of a difficult time of change. Acting Vice-Chancellor, Professor Doug Sutton, said that the University Council yesterday received the 2005 Annual Accounts, which had been approved by the University’s Finance Committee. “We believe this positive result is evidence that the University has turned the corner and is emerging out of a challenging transition period,” he said

a regular basis, but that is the challenge we have set ourselves. We are doing this because we wish to invest strongly in the future of the university,” explained Professor Sutton. “We will now use this unplanned surplus to jump-start a new era at the institution. We will do so by carrying out the normal operation of the University, led by a new management team, while also investing in the implementation of the University’s Strategic Plan 2006-2010.”

Triple Whammy Kiwi Oscar Count Amy Grace-Smart New Zealand films are continuing to earn Hollywood accolades, with Kiwi-directed The Chronicles of Narnia picking up an Oscar and King Kong scooping three at the

In addition to the $6.1 million surplus, the University also received income of $2.4 million from its wholly-owned subsidiary, WaikatoLink, which is the University’s commercialisation arm. Income from WaikatoLink includes a gain on the sale of the University’s shares in Ectus, a visual communications technology company spun out of the University in 2004. Professor Sutton said University staff were to be commended for their role in helping the University achieve this result. “The University of Waikato has been through a difficult year of change, which has been especially demanding for many of our staff. This positive financial result is due to the efforts of all staff right across the University who did the hard, day-to-day work that helped achieve this positive outcome,” he said. However Professor Sutton cautioned that the University was not allowing the surplus to overshadow the fact that income from teaching and research activities are lower than desirable. “When we strip away the positive financial events of 2005, the current financial picture we are getting from our core business of teaching and research is challenging. This is due, in large part, to decreasing enrolments, which is a trend all New Zealand universities are experiencing. “It will be challenging to generate surpluses of the same caliber as the 2005 result on

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

ceremony last Monday night. King Kong, Peter Jackson’s $315 million dollar blockbuster, won Oscars for best art direction, achievement in sound editing, sound mixing and visual effects. The sound mixing team, Christopher Boyes, Michael Semanick, Michael Hedges and Hammon Peek accepted their Oscar with beating of their chests in unison and the comment, “go kiwis!” The team had previously won the same award in 2004 for The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Americans Howard Berger and Tami Lane won the “Best Makeup” Oscar for the New Zealand filmed and directed Narnia. New Zealand Film Company Weta designed and manufactured nearly 200 suits of armour for Narnia, also producing over 1000 weapons and 30 special props. Much of the film was shot in the South Island’s high country, with Weta Digital responsible for creating the look of the many different types of creature featured in the film.

Report paints dire picture of university funding By Kate Newton A report jointly commissioned by the Association of University Staff (AUS) and the New Zealand Vice Chancellors’ Committee (NZVCC) has confirmed both groups’ claims that New Zealand’s universities are severely under-funded. The report shows that New Zealand government funding for universities lags seriously behind Australia, Canada, the United States and Britain. Key facts from the report reveal that Australian university students receive forty percent more funding than their New Zealand counterparts, and Australian university academic salaries are 36 percent higher on average than New Zealand academic salaries. The report was commissioned in mid-2005 as a result of 2004 salary bargaining between AUS and NZVCC. AUS General Secretary Helen Kelly says that during the course of negotiations, the two groups “agreed to do some combined research in order to quantify the issues a bit more”. Kelly says that “in relation to salary issues… everything that [AUS] has been saying [has been] confirmed – firstly, that there’s huge salary differences between [Australia] and New Zealand universities.” She says that this problem is compounded by another of the report’s findings – university enrolments are increasing, but there is an international shortage of academic staff. “The UK and Canada have very aggressive recruitment campaigns going ... That’s obviously a huge risk to us – we’re going to need seven or eight hundred new academic staff over the next ten years.” Kelly says that the funding figures shown by the report are “just startling ... Basically, we’re running our university system on half the value per [Australian] student.” NZVCC Chair Professor Roy Sharp says the Committee “was surprised by how much the disparity is between academic salaries here in New Zealand and particularly in [Australia].” The report has been presented to Tertiary Education Minister Michael Cullen, and Sharp thinks Cullen “recognises that there is an issue here to be addressed, and is willing to work with us to see how it should be addressed.” Sharp says the report provides a relevant analysis from which to work with the Government and unions to develop strategies to address funding and salary problems facing the university sector. Michael Cullen was not available for comment. – ASPA.

Nescafé Offers Non-ChocolateRelated Big Break Nescafé Big Break launches today, giving young Kiwis the chance to win a top award of AUD$100,000 to kick-start their big ambition. With a total prize pool of more than $200,000, the competition will see 16-24 year olds from New Zealand and across the ditch competing for cash awards starting from $4,000. Kiwi musician Renée-Louise Caraficé’s dream of recording an album to help improve people’s understanding of mental illness has become a reality since her $25,000 win in 2005. “It’s been an absolute dream come true! I recently recorded my debut album at Electrical Audio in Chicago which is owned by Steve Albini. He is an amazing man who has produced work by Nirvana and PJ Harvey and it was such an experience to work in his studio,” she said. More than 4,400 young people from across New Zealand and Australia entered Nescafé Big Break in 2005 with four Kiwis taking away cash awards totaling $60,000. Like Renée-Louise, composer and playwright Rochelle Bright also won $25,000 in the 2005

MALE BATH HOUSE

programme. This allowed her to spend the past seven months studying graduate musical theatre writing at the prestigious Tisch School of Arts in New York. Corban Walls invested his $5,000 prize into a portable skate park business and launched his innovative product at the Parachute Music Festival in January. Renée-Louise says it is important for ambitious young New Zealanders to have the financial support necessary to make it big in New Zealand and overseas. “It’s so cool to see Kiwis pushing the boundaries and doing exciting things and this year the sky is truly the limit with the Nescafé Big Break grand prize of $100,000.” Anyone aged 16-24 with a big idea in need of a cash injection to get it off the ground is eligible for entry. Since launching in New Zealand in 2000, Nescafé Big Break has awarded in excess of $250,000 to more than 20 young Kiwis in diverse areas such as technology, sport, fashion and agriculture.

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Tues – Sun 4pm till late (4men 2men stuff) Check our web site for upcoming events www.guyz.co.nz 20% Student Discount with this Ad and ID

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Disgruntled? Join the club. Seriously. Dear Editor, I am a disgruntled student. My carpark was 50m away from my labratory this morning and I am disgruntled, the university carpark warden needs to be more transparent and accountable. Student money should be used for more carparks. I am over 50 and these young students don’t take me seriously, they should realise that with age comes wisdom.

LETTERS Send us your letters! We want to hear from you! We want to hear your opinion, your views, your thoughts, bitching, moaning, groaning, all that stuff. In order for us to hear this, you’ll need to send it to us! Send all letters, whatever ilk they may be to nexus@waikato.ac.nz. If you want to send it via snail mail then address your letters to Nexus, Private Bag 3059, Hamilton. You can also just drop them in the Nexus box at the WSU reception.

Letters policy Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters pages — serious or otherwise. Letters should be no more than 250 words and received by 5pm on the Tuesday before publication. All letters will generally be printed so give it a bash, but the editor retains the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Bad spelling and grammar will not be corrected — proof it yourself or you’ll look dumb. Pseudonyms are acceptable but all letters must include your real name and contact details even if you don’t want them printed. We discourage the use of pseudonyms for serious letters.

I have decided to form the disgruntled students club. I am an avid reader of nexus and have noticed over the past year that the WSU Vice Pres and former MSO would be perfect members. I see from their letters and columns that they are extremely disgruntled. I am disappointed that the former MSO didn’t win the WSU presidential elections, and would like to know if he could instead be the president of my disgruntled students club. As soon as I get 15 members I am going to apply to WSU for club grants. I welcome any student who is disgruntled and over 50 to join by emailing disgruntledst udents50@yahoo.com Yours Sincerely, Des Gruntled

Partners not parallels Dear Editor, Over the past few years of being involved within the university sector, I have become aware of a dilemma that seems to be a reﬂection of what is going on within our broader society. There are two words to describe this, read on.

concepts. We need to deﬁne a way of overlapping our cultures in a way that provides an opporunity for everybody to be involved, because sharing is another key to imbricating. We can all focus on the negative things that history has to offer, I even had presented to me a video that portrayed the attitude of the Europeans at the time of the signing as being that of purposeful deceipt. This is with regard to the anomamlies that lie within the translation of whichever version. Here I call attention to the Littlewood Document, it is openly acknowledged by our Treaty of Waitangi historians and experts that this is the ﬁnal English draft of the treaty, which provided the text for the Maori translation, went missing in February 1840. This document was uncovered in March 1989 in Pukekohe by the Littlewood Family as they sorted out the estate of their deceased mother. Check it out for yourself, http://www.celticnz.org/TreatyBook/ Precis.htm but take care not to uncover the identity of Patu-paiarehe and how the ‘land of the long white crowd’ was not discovered by, Captain Cook (for the Euro’s) or Maui (For the Maori). Two words: Virtual Apartheid, seems to be a track Aotearoa/New Zealand is heading towards, lets all work together by being a proud nation who judge any person, not by their race or creed, but by their behaviour, and attitude. Yours Truly Jeremy Hart

Lose weight with meds and get bigger unit Hey there. So how are you? I am great. Are you ready to here why? =) Because spring and summer are right around the corner and I’ve lost more than 19 pounds since the day of Febuary 7. There is a new substance that they found in Africa, its huge. They are talking about it everywhere!! Hard Copy, Oprah, ABC. And I found a place that you can get it without burning a hole in your pocket. Bye bye diets, hello bathing suit. Can’t wait to hear your results. Bye bye.

Firstly, I belive that parallel development is a great thing as regards our brothers (and sisters), who in years gone by have suffered, perhaps, an attempted abolition of their culture. Lets get this development happening, lets get everyone up to having the same level of opportunity to succeed in life. In an attempt to help, there does seem to have been some inter-generational trauma resulting from so much negative publicity surrounding the events in history. Parallel organisations fail to reﬂect Partnership, a key concept that New Zealand needs to come to terms with. Parallel lines never meet, not under the rules in this universe.

Apologies to the gays

Imbrication is a way Australia is moving forward with regard to Indigenous Health. A mixture of Western concepts, and indigenous

Hello, it is Ashleigh gracing you all with his magniﬁcent presence. Yes, I am writing again in response to the letters in the last nexus

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Susan M (Nexus doubts the validity of Susan’s claims.)

that were aimed at me. No, I do not need councilling, thank you Megan. I have however been up to the gay space “Askew” and stolen some condoms for my love making. Thank you for making them free for the taking! As for my opinion of the gays, it has changed because I watched Brokeback Mountain. I have also befriended some of the gays and even dabbled in a bit of sexual experimentation as well. With looks like mine, of course I can get anybody, regardless of sex. It has for me opened up a new door and new challenges and a large population of people who I can love and they can love me and they give me many presents because I am very special. Yes, it is good to be sexy and handsome like me and now, my love has no boundaries. Waikato University! Bring on your very sexy gay and bi men and your sexy straight (and curious) females. I am Ashleigh, hear me rawl! Ashleigh

Open Letter To all Nexus Readers, I, Jennifer Campion, commonly writing under the name J.S.Campion, am unhappy with the piece attributed to me last week (“Campus Characters”) and wish to apologise unreservedly to any and all persons offended by the material contained therein. The piece was not directed at any person or group, and certainly in no way reflects my true opinions about others. I find it distasteful and ill-judged, and can unquestionably see how the rest of you might rightly find it so. I am particularly repentant about the material in the section “The Sleazy Lecturer” and want it known that no lecturer was in anyway depicted by this, and nor do I know of any scenarios of that nature. I have nothing but the utmost respect for all the lecturers I have been taught by. Similarly, I wish to apologise to all “groups” depicted: such stereotypes are entirely inappropriate and have no place at university. As this marks the end of my contributions to Nexus, I can only regret the association of my name with this piece. Sincerely, J.S.Campion. INCREDULOR would like to salute BAXT0R for enhancing his robot design. Little does BAXT0R know but he has scored himself some free Death-er... Rialto movie tickets! Inquire at Nexus HQ for your prize. All hail INCREDULOR!

OPINION Why Gladiatorial Combat Should be an International Sport By FACELEG Progress is a wonderful thing. The only people that would disagree with that are morons, or the Amish. In fact, progress is so great that it has brought us brilliant things like the all new social cliché: EMO. Oh, and the decline of slavery. Thanks progress. In almost all cases of progress, in order to be truly thrust into the future, we ﬁnd that there is something that must be left behind. Where the abolition of slavery was concerned, this was the stinking Slave Trader boats (also slavery is wrong). Those squat hulled vessels of rot and slop, festering ships of dark disease were indeed a joy to watch sail off into the past. No more bad Karma for Europeans (just kidding, Karma is bullshit). EMO is the spawn of two rather different groups: Goth and Fashionably Gay. I prove this in the following equation: EMO = GOTH + FASHIONABLY GAY Or in English: Gothlings with the extra spice of gay.

the majority of cases. There are cases in my mind, where progress has gone wrong. When progress goes bad - It’s the year 2000, and you are seated in your local cinema. Idiot humans in front and behind refuse to be silent, beeping and rustling in amelodic concert. The mental images of their piniful deaths fade with the light level, easing you into the gorefest ahead. Your mind is focussed as you soak in the sights and sounds of deaths masquerade, blood and gore, your nostrils twitching in joy at the phantom odours wafting by. Ah Ridley Scott, I salute you. Gladiator rocks, Romans are the man. I say bring it back. Gladiatorial combat, that is. If we can slaughter families and soldiers alike with indiscrimitate incendary runs, then surely we can handle a bit of coliseum slashing? Of course we can! What movies make Hollywood quick bucks? Teen horrors do. Who needs a storyline, acting talent or directing skill when you have realistic gore? Though when watching these movies, usually we are meant to feel a little bad about the dying. I mean you don’t really want that cheerleader to be stabbed to death with a fork do you? Weeell...

Q.E.D. Who was the ﬁrst? How did it happen? Why? Are they part of a secret, insidious plan hatched by the terrorists? Or are they the cloned children of the Raliens, convinced that mascara and man-on-man tongue action is truly what the aliens created us for? In any case, with the social forest ﬁre that is EMO threatening to consume all impressionable half-wits, the global populations of both Fashionable Gay and Goth are thinning; two awful, awful groups we should all be proud to see disappear. Progress, again we thank you for this small dispensation. So, progress is a good thing. Sadly, through a priori investigation, I have found reason to believe that this is only true in

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No, much better if it were deserved. Which brings me to my next point: Organised gladiatoral combat is good for your country. Do you like prison inmates? Neither. Have them fight for their freedom. If they survive 100 fights, they walk. The more severe their crime, the more opponents they face; the more fights they have had, the more opponents they face. e.g. Tonight! Serial rapist vs. 5 young P heads odds: 3:1 in favour of P, the TAB is taking online bets now! Book now to view, only $2.95! KILL KILL KILL Thats what we could chant. Just like the old days. A man can dream.

“I got 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

on it!” Fashion Special by Jess

What’s your style? Favourite item in your wardrobe? What’s your biggest fashion crime? What’s hot these days? What’s not hot…? Bee-rad – bee keeper 1. Don’t care - SNIFF AND WEAR 2. My wetsuit – many uses 3. Dressing up as a girl, heels and all and hitting town 4. White bikinis – full stop 5. Nanna undies – BRING BACK THE G! BOX HEAD - pro drinker, part time student 1. What Santa brings me for Christmas 2. My jeans. They’re new. Haven’t washed them yet! 3. Ripping my Speedos while surfing out at Raglan. 4. Beer memorabilia 5. Surfing in Speedos out at Raglan – kids, ask your parents first Sam – 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

student Kinda punk/retro/fun My retro sunnies Mum used to always pull my shorts up way too high - shame! Any Paul frank or mooks gear Coloured stove pipes! STOP WEARING THEM!

Vicky – student 1. Anything I get for free 2. My collection of O week t shirts 3. The O week t shirts. 4. Free O week t shirts 5. Having to buy t-shirts. Ropes1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

dive guy Pretty hori Undies – try wearing them sometimes Wearing pink and purple at a ‘70s night Jandles, gumboots and wetsuits Undies or boxers shown above your pants. BUY A BELT!

Michelle- student 1. Plain and comfy 2. My jeans 3. Apparently my high wasted jeans. My boyfriend made me throw them out 4. High wasted belts 5. Girls in baggy jeans

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dvice

What’s the best tee you’ve ever seen? Could you create one? Nexus talks to a real life t-shirt designer and gets a few tips on the biz... Despite his occupation, Aaron Hogg couldn’t name a favourite tshirt design. ‘That’s too hard for me to answer after the number of amazing ones I’ve seen on Threadless & La Fraise in the last few months.’ Aaron is an NZ designer currently running DViCE Industries - a Christchurch company that creates a small limited edition range of tshirts distributed throughout New Zealand ( www.dviceclothing.com ). DViCE commissions artists from around NZ to produce tee prints and in return they receive cash and clothing, and a proﬁle on marketing material and the website. Anyone is invited to submit designs, with the reward for printed work being $200 and up to $300 worth of product. Not to mention the exposure of being stocked in 35 stores around NZ. Nifty. Aaron originally trained originally in multimedia and spent nearly 3 years after college ‘making crappy ads for Prime TV’. He also made a few NZ On Air-funded music videos for the band he was in at the time, Slim. Throughout this time he remained interested in print design. ‘After loads of freelance & random jobs I wound up as an Art Director at a local agency. I was there for 3 years doing a range of stuff from ads through to branding and design before I made the shift to Urban Drift, the company that owned Christchurch Street/Fashion label Sorted.’ The introduction to clothing graphics proved to be love at ﬁrst sight, and Aaron soon realised that he was perfectly suited to that side of the industry. Cue the conception of DViCE. ‘DViCE Industries sprung up from an idea myself and the sales rep had after seeing the online UK brand SP:UK. Soon after the Sorted label was sold, one of the owners moved to London & the other one

(Hamish Bailey) is the person who I am doing DViCE with now.’ Ultimately, Aaron would like DViCE to function similarly to Threadless or La Fraise, minus the voting system. ‘[Preferably] the majority of submissions would come in from students, illustrators & designers all around NZ via the web. These would be ﬁltered and put into a range alongside select guest artists’. DViCE are also experimenting with some promo stuff. ‘For instance, one of the featured tshirts in our range is a design created for a local band The Valves who are signed to James Reid’s (Feelers) label Broken Records. It’s a strong enough tee design to stand on its own but there are also obvious mutual advantages for it being sold into stores throughout NZ.’

Art by Aaron Hogg

On a local level, he reckons fashion in general is looking pretty promising, and despite the proliferation of certain brands it’s still open to ambitious newcomers. ‘Huffer & Federation have got the whole 18 -35 skate street market locked down. They’re very savvy from a branding point of view, but the thing I love about New Zealand is there are also all these little players willing to back themselves and get out there and mix it with the big guns. All it takes is a bit of luck and some clever ideas and things can blow up pretty quickly.’ In Aaron’s opinion, is there a career in t-shirt design? How should an aspiring artist kick off? It’s a difﬁcult market to get into, he says - mainly from the point of view of getting your work sold. ‘Creating tshirts screenprinted isn’t

‘All it takes is a bit of luck and some clever ideas and things can blow up pretty quickly.’ At present, if you fancy getting your grubby mitts on a DViCE tee, you’ll need to do a slight road trip to Tokoroa or Cambridge. Any plans for an Htown outlet in the pipeline? ‘We’re working on it.’ Aaron says he’s a ‘bit of a schizophrenic’ when it comes to his own design preferences. ‘I swing between complex vector stuff & almost childlike pencil illustration but I suppose most of my work has a character element to it. I am particularly fond of the American designers Aesthetic Apparatus, Eye Noise design & the Patent Pending. Skull Dezain is also one of my favourites.’

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a particularly costly or difﬁcult exercise but humping them round the country and actually getting buyers interested in putting your stuff in their stores is a delicate artform.’ Aaron recommends submitting some tee designs to online sites such as DViCE, Threadless or La Fraise, and listening to constructive criticism from other designers. Submissions also have the potential to get printed, winning money and exposure. ‘To me that’s a great starting point and it only costs your spare time and the money to power your computer. My design has improved markedly since being exposed to those sites and it has ultimately ended up being a pretty lucrative exercise.’

Who d’ya think you are?

Madam Muck? The mighty Madam Muck ﬁrst popped up in Nexus last year, when it featured in a ‘top 5 shops in Htown’ article. The store specialises in music tees, vintage and alternative clothing, and provides an ideal outlet for aspiring local designers to strut their stuff.

Nexus had a chat with Gemma Osborne, the madam behind the Muck, and recently featured ‘New Cool’ entrepreneur. Tell us the story of Madam Muck. Why that name? Madam Muck is the name of my own label. The slang meaning is similar to something like “queen bee” kinda thing... Funnily though, I wanted this name as it was reminiscent of childhood, rummaging through the dress-up box. Most people read the name then look at the shop and think it’s a total sex and bondage shop, but the only thing we have in common is being located next door to one. So we’re not an adult shop in that sense, although we do have get-up gear to give you style - and I guess individual style makes anyone hot, so yeah, maybe we are!

What’s your background? Maybe it’s important to stress that I haven’t always wanted to do something like this. I did a ﬁrst year of Uni at AUT for a Bachelor of Communication studies, and suddenly realised that it wasn’t for me. Halfway through that year, I had thought of developing a label, and by the end of the year, I wanted to do something with it further, I knew a bit of sewing and a bit about designing so all the rest was self taught and just getting ideas into something concrete, or, er, fabric. I like this job cos it’s what I love to do. I don’t care what people want to put themselves through to get money - this is what I enjoy, and that’s the satisfaction I would rather have. How long had you thought about having a shop of your own? I had two options; put my clothes out on consignment somewhere in some shop, or - well really, the more I looked around I couldn’t ﬁnd anywhere that gave me that option unless I wanted to go upper class wear, which was not really the style of my stuff. That got me thinking about starting something up to offer what I was looking for, to people in my position (the small minority we seem to be). On top of that I’m a compulsive op shopper and love vintage/

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contemporary clothes and music gear, so it all kinda evolved from there and came together. How did you get the initial funds to kick off? I’ll openly say that I had no funds. Just rad friends and family willing to do a bit of labour outta love. No dead grandma, no briefcase of money, no government organisation help. Any advice for people looking to do the same sorta thing? Don’t. I’d rather be the only vintage/ music tee/local designer stockist in H-town. Get your own idea. Did you have to learn a lot about running a business? How did you go about that? I’ve learnt everything as I’ve gone along. There’s always people to get information from that are available, but seriously - most of it’s just common-sense. Any advice for people thinking about opening a shop? Negotiate with everything you do - space, rent, ﬁxtures, the lot Do it properly - anyone can slap something together. Do it with pride. Do something original - Hamilton has too many mainstream places - (and a cult following) to compete with, plus you’ll make a name for yourself easier.

“There’s a cult fashion mainstream scene, yes, but it’s been totally ripped off from the people who have been wearing this stuff for years.”

- Gemma Osborne

Keep your secrets - don’t give any ideas away. Do you design clothes yourself? I have my own label in the shop being MM which are all my designs, and I’m looking at doing a couple of side project ideas, maybe with a different label - spidering off madam muck T-shirts seem to be the main thing MM is renowned for. Do you have any particularly popular ones? People here go through fads and phases all the time so it’s always changing. The quite consistent tees are the music/ band tees - but our vintage tees are creeping up too, mainly because I guess people are digging the ‘real – original’ vintage look, not the re-modernised mass produced crap that other places are selling. Best T-shirt design you’ve ever seen? Plain white tee - black handwritten: “I like robots” (with a hand-drawn robot underneath) - pure genius Is interest from designers increasing? Do you get many inquiries? Yes - interest is increasing, follow through is pretty much the same though. I get heaps of inquiries, so it’s good the word is out there. What style/fashion appeals most to you

personally? I think style and fashion are two separate things. Fashion indicates fad and style is how an individual puts it together. Style is personal - fashion universal. So basically anyone that creates their own individual style I ﬁnd appealing. How does it feel being ‘the new cool’? I think it’s rad that more and more people are seeing outside the more conventional methods, and doing different things, and taking different paths. Each to their own - but it’s cool to see more and more people creating a revenue for themselves based on something they absolutely love, and just doing it (Sorry Nike). How would you sum up the Hamilton fashion scene? Is there one? Hmmmm - tough question. There’s a cult fashion mainstream scene, yes, but it’s been totally ripped off from the people who have been wearing this stuff for years. Take the stovepipe jeans look….I know a few people that were rocking them out since a couple of years ago, and all they got is shit and abuse from mainstream kids. Now all of a sudden you see these guys on the street who were the ones doing the abusing and suddenly their pants are tighter - because it’s ‘cool’. I guess it’s not just Hamilton, it’s everywhere. As soon as what is deemed the ‘alternative’ crowd start wearing something, mainstream poaches it within a year, mass

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produces it and screws it up for anyone that has had enough courage to wear what they want how they want, not at the dictation of the running trend. Lucky for us we do have some styley individuals that are creating their own look……its good. Who do you accept clothes from? Anyone who has got good ideas that they can put into the physical. Do they have to be semi-established or just creative? Just creative……semi-established labels are good, but it would defeat the kudos of the shop if I started putting high-brand and mainstream labels in it…..yyyyeerruukk. What’s up for the future? George W Bush ﬁnally gets his own when universe terrorising alien space-ships crash smack down into the White House, releasing an army of chemically poisonous worms that wriggle into every oriﬁce of his body and eat him from the inside out. That, and Crazy Frog dies a gruesome death…along with its fan club. Nexus will be featuring some Madam Muck clothing over the next couple of weeks – look out for it. In the meantime, do check out the store on Victoria St. (Next to the sex shop. You know the one.)

You’ve just spent hours (or perhaps only minutes) getting ready only to emerge only to be told by your parents “you know, I had an outﬁt just like that in the 60s.” We’ve all heard it before, but is it really true? I took a look at some of today’s fashions and compared them with decades past. Pointy-toes shoes have been popular for a year or two now, and they have deﬁnitely been popular before, but not just for women! My own father confesses to having owned a pair. Of course it being the 60s, they had much more creative names for them - try asking for a pair or ‘winkle pickers’ or ‘beetle boots’ today and see where that gets you! Another long lasting trend is the mini skirt, popular for many years in varying styles, colours, and lengths. This is, in the initial form of the mini dress, one of the best known trends of the 60s and was worn in the 70s as both a dress and a skirt. The mini skirt in some of its present from dates back to the 1980s when big, crazy and colourful was all in (not mention the ¾ tights underneath the miniskirt look). But on to this season; one of this seasons

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‘looks’ is Romantic (or Romantica, depending on which store you are in). This style is a combination of many eras, going back as far as the 19th century (1800s) for inspiration. The lacy, high-collared, white shirts are reminiscent of the late 19th century style of middle and high class women. These are not combined with their severe, straight, long, black skirts though. The shirts are combined with the same sort of ﬁtted, nipped-waist jackets which were popular in the 1940s. The shorter cropped style jackets and the use of dark colours, with small injections of bright red suggest an aviator sort of theme which was very much ‘in’ during the 1930s. Having just quickly looked at a small part of this season’s fashion we have covered 3 eras already, not even mentioning clothing which suggests the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, or even 90s. So is with reluctance, and only a small amount of pain, that I admit my parents are right. Fashion is not ‘new’, it really does go around in circles. Of course that doesn’t mean we have to admit that to them…or even wear the ‘latest fashion’. So if you want to stay on top of the trends my only advice is to look backwards not forwards, and keep praying that shiny, sparkly men’s disco shirts never ever come back into fashion!

How to be a clotheshorse:

The lowdown on modelling So you’re pretty sexy and you want to earn some cash by modeling? Or have your friends always told you that you should be a model? Maybe you have the face and body but you’re missing one thing… the height? What I do is petite modelling; I’m only 163cm/ 5’4. The jobs I’ve done so fair are photo shoots, commercial work, movie work, hair modelling and promotional work. Every industry has its pros and cons. Some things I have observed about modelling:

Advantages The pay is great! Better then getting $12 an hour at my normal job. Each job varies sometimes you can get paid $25 an hour to $600 for the shoot. You get to met heaps of nice people: There are other girls who might be more experienced then you, they would usually give you an interesting tips/stories/comments Hot guys to work with Directors/ photographers who you can network with for future jobs The food is all provided for- from the jobs I’ve done, the food has been scrumptious! They also give you un limited supply of coffee/ tea/ juice/ hot chocolate/ water etc If you’re into make-up and hair, it gets done by professionals Some of the outﬁts cost more than what you get paid You get invited to exclusive parties You get freebies!

Disadvantages Sometimes they can put too much makeup on you that makes you break out the next day (especially if it was like a 10 hour shoot) Sometimes the hair people put too much hairspray in your hair. The last movie I did, I had to wash my hair 3 times to get all the product out. The hours can be as early as 5.30am or as late as 11pm. Sometimes people have to dress you

because of the complexity of the outﬁt, so you have to be comfortable in your underwear while they dress you. I’m usually very tired after a job. If it’s a movie/ commercial they would usually have to do the scene a few times. This gets quite boring. It’s NOT a stable job. Sometimes you can get 4 jobs in a month, sometimes you don’t get anything in two months. Personally I think modelling can be more like a full time job because modelling is basically selling your looks. Therefore you have to look after your outward appearance 24/7. Almost every decision you make can effect how you look. Listed below are some of the things I do to keep up with the industry:

Fitness I do intense exercise at least twice a week (work out at the gym, attend a ﬁtness class, go for runs). I always park my car at least 5 minutes away from the destination I’m supposed to be at. Always take the stairs instead of the lift (unless I’m in VERY high heels).

Daily eating habits I have heaps of vitamin supplements - so far I’m consuming 6 tablets. I drink 2 to 5 litres of water and have a minimum of 4 different fruits and vegetables. I have 6 small meals a day.

Skin care routine I cleanse tone and moisturise twice daily, do DIY exfoliation and mask twice a week.

Hair care I usually wash my hair every second day. If you wash it every day it gets rid of your natural oils. I also do smoothing treatment once a week. I get my hair styled every 3 months, I can’t stand spilt ends. Last year I found some spilt ends during exams and I cut off at least 10cm of my hair… I’m trying to grow it back now. If you want to know more about modelling I’m happy to give you more information. I have a website, so if you have time check out www.myspace.com/hannah_yen

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Want Money? Forget Big Wednesday! Forget Big Wednesday, what about large March, humungous April, and generously proportioned May? Many thousands of scholarships dollars are up for grabs every month of the year and we’re here to help you get your hands on some of that dosh. Who are ‘we’? For those of you who don’t know yet, we’re Judith and Gwenda, your friendly, helpful, well-informed, leap-tallbuildings-in-a-single-bound (and oh so modest) Scholarships Advisors. You, yes you, the ‘aw shucks, I could never win a scholarship’ type. We know you just had the dastardly thought that this article isn’t for you. Well we think you’re probably wrong, so, KEEP READING! Yes it’s true that some scholarships are reserved for geniuses, but there are also awards for people from Te Awamutu.* To misquote Jerry McGuire, “Help us, to help you”. You can vastly improve your

chances, by doing the following: Subscribe to the monthly Scholarships Update (email) newsletter that Judith sends out. Just visit our homepage and click on the link, or email ‘subscribe’ to Judith (jmudge@waikato.ac.nz). Visit our homepage (www.waikato.ac.nz/ scholarships) often to check for additions and alterations. Use the links we advertise on our homepage to look for scholarships in other places. And if you find a good site we don’t know about, tell us; Judith’s bound to want to thank you by sharing her salary.+ Apply for every scholarship you’re eligible for. How can you find out if you’re eligible? Just check the regulations. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try

again. Each application you submit should become easier and better. Check out the handy hints Judith’s prepared about covering letters, CVs, etc., in the ‘Useful Links & Advice’ section on our homepage. If you’ve done the hard yards and you still need a little coaching to help you win the race, ask us for help. Drop us a line on scholarships@waikato.ac.nz, or visit us in the ITS Building. You may have heard vicious rumours that there can be hundreds of applicants for one scholarship. It’s true that sometimes your chances of success can be slim. But did you know that some scholarships receive very few applications?! We know of lots of scholarships worth $4,000+ that attract less than four applicants. I’m no maths whiz, but even I can see that those are slightly better odds than Big Wednesday. Gwenda Pennington & Judith Mudge

* Please note that these two categories are not mutually exclusive. Last time we checked, TA was literally crawling with bright sparks. + We’re joking, you silly billy!

Another thing yous fullas could apply for: Hamilton Civic Choir Associate Artist Award The Hamilton Civic Choir is a wellestablished contributor to the musical life of the Waikato, each year presenting at least four concerts of music from the classical choral repertoire. The award - Tertiary students who can sing or play a musical instrument are invited to apply (a Major in Music is not obligatory). The award will be decided by

audition and interview. The successful candidate will be named the Associate Artist (AA) of the Hamilton Civic Choir (HCC) for this year and will receive $1500 and the opportunity to give one or two solo performances as part of Civic Choir concerts in 2006. They will agree to one further performance as soloist within the next ﬁve years, at the invitation of the HCC.

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Interested musicians should contact the The Secretary, Hamilton Civic Choir by mail (P O Box 824, Hamilton) or email: hamilton.choir@xtra.co.nz for further information and application forms. Applications for the 2006 award close at 5pm on Friday 31 March 2006. Candidates will be advised of audition times in writing after that date.

Your Favourite

Woman Last week, readers were invited to tell Nexus about their top women, and win a double pass to the Women’s Lifestyle Expo. Here are a couple of our favourites. Awesome stuff.

Hey Nexus My current ‘favourite woman’ is my younger sister. At 19, she is getting excellent grades studying Engineering, has represented NZ overseas for her horse riding twice at the Mounted Games Association World Championships and is one of those truely lovely people who gives everyone a chance and never holds a grudge. Teachers praise her, friends admire and depend on her, and guys ask me if my hot sister is single! In November she went to get a mole on her back checked out. Though the doctor didn’t suspect anything, it was cut out and tested and proved to be Grade 4 melanoma. Grade 5 means you are dying. When this result came through there was at least a 10% chance it would kill her. Luckily further tests proved she had caught it early enough and decreased her chances of the cancer being fatal to 2-3%. She will continue having scans to monitor any progression of the cancer for the next ﬁve years. While the rest of our family was in a state of shock (myself) or continual tears (parents), my sister was the solid rock, saying ‘Well, we just have to do what we can’, never complaining about the pain of the stitches the length of her spine or asking ‘why me?’. I knew she was tough, but I had no idea of the strength of my sister until I saw her bravery in the face of something that even I cannot comprehend. For this reason, I would have to try damn hard to ﬁnd a woman I admire more than my sister. Charly Draper

I am an International student from Canada and when I saw your article in Nexus I knew I had to write in about my favourite woman. Mrs. Michalak is my grandmother in law and although she recently passed away she has left a lifelong imprint on my life. Mrs. Michalak grew up in a small Polish town and was captured and forced into slave labour when the Nazi’s overtook and occupied Poland prior to and during the second World War. A devout Roman Catholic she risked her life under the Nazi regime to attend an underground Church. It was at Mass that she met Mr. Michalak who was to become her husband of over 60 years. They fell deeply in love and eventually devised a plan to escape and flee Poland to Canada. While their escape was very risky and difficult, after several years of moving slowly through Europe they completed the final leg of their journey and arrived in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Along the way Mrs. Michalak gave birth to a son, my father in law, making the trip even more fraught with peril and risk. Once in Canada Mrs. Michalak became deeply ingrained in her community and family. She has taught me the importance of family and morality. Through her courage and strength she held her family together through the best and the worst of times, never gave up and always stuck to her beliefs. She was a woman of exceptional courage and integrity, and while she will be deeply missed by all who knew her she lives on in the lessons she has taught us. Sincerely, Shaunna L. Milloy

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

REVIEW GIG REVIEW GIG Friday 3rd of March saw the final on-campus O Week festivities. Although the spoilsport rain made an appearance, a small but perfectly formed crowd enjoyed free sausages and a rip-roaring performance from The Sneaks. The band seemed to be having a ball despite the low turnout, and generously invited the hastily formed and soon-to-be-huge Mars Travolta to play a song on stage while they watched. Other events on Friday included a doughnut eating contest. Warning - do not try this at home, or possibly, ever.

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v (Finland) Hilly Tavern, March 3, O Week 06 Reviewed by Carl Watkins

Fashionably late. Odessa onstage. An alchemical reaction has transported morphic Prince and Jeff Buckley into the guise of the frontman. He has the physical attributes, presence and moves of the former, the rock pout and falsetto of the latter, and the wisdom to know the difference. This is my first screening of the 4-piece of 4, requisite, pasty Wellingtonian complexions with instruments. Though transported in schisms from the Hilly to the Wellington Jazz Conservatorium throughout the performance I couldn’t take my eyes and ears away from the stage. 3 out of 4 of the Odessa lads are graduates of the above and I could hear it in every note. Wellington is well renowned for its continuous spinning out of international class jazz musicians who just so happen to play in contemporary bands also. But this is not another skag dredged from the roots movement of the windy city; this is something, refreshingly, different entirely. With the rhythm section’s concentration well and truly needed to keep the beat from going off the boil, there was plenty of room left on stage for the frontman to do his level best at reinventing the wheel fashioned by Stevie Wonder and 60s retinue through to Prince on the soul side, throwing his 5ft 4 frame into a medley

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

(Wellington) of R & B moves to punctuate the vocal and musical cues. And he managed to keep it slick but not sickly. The music held the blends of which I’ve hitherto alluded, nothing new, but played like few have dared in New Zealand and succeeded. At least in recent times anyway. Funk and soul jazzed out and souped up with hints of gospel and the right dose of grrrrock. The right balance of technical and emotional awareness. I’d love to see them tackle a slow-burner. Maybe next time. I hope there is a next time… I stayed for 4 songs of BomFunk MCs. I left out of tiredness. Not much of a crowd but the peeps that were there were jammed up to the stage and lovin it. I didn’t stay long enough to hear “Freestyler” but the crowd were calling for it at every opportunity. The songs I did hear were easily as good as the BF’s famous single of several years hence. Their stage presence was as confident as you’d expect but some of the hyping cues and normal party type banter sorta fizzled in the small audience. For them that don’t know, BFunk play dance trip hop party music aimed at the London club set. It’s diverse enough to keep the ears pricked but not as compelling as contemporary exponents such as London Electricity. Obviously not great enough to convince me to put off death’s counterfeit, but better than the low turn-out suggested.

President’s Column Sehai Orgad Kia ora all, Well, it seems that we are all under way in terms of getting through enrolment with not too many hiccups, and by now we should be starting to settle into our lectures and finding out where we have to go, who we have to see, etc… Also, by this time, you should all be starting to be somewhat familiar with the WSU, where it is, what it does (remember O Week…?) and where it lives. You may have heard, at some point last week, parts of the Open Student Meeting (OSM). This was the first one for the year. You can expect to hear one, or even better, be part of one every month. I urge you all to speak up at these meetings. Ask questions in order to fully understand what is being communicated, the different perspectives that it are being communicated, and what you may, or may not be voting on. I admit, I do not know all of the answers, but I do promise you that I will give you an honest account of what is being presented. I do not speak off the cuff. If I do not know the details, I do the research before I give you an answer. The University made an announcement about its financial situation and its future plans last week. I am encouraged by the fact that I have been in constant communication with senior management in relation to this announcement, but also in terms of being involved with conversations and discussions about the processes of communicating with students and how students can be involved with the University’s strategic plan. This is a huge change in direction for the WSU and its members. It is a positive change which sees the university’s biggest stakeholders (US!) in positive consultation and negotiation with the university as a whole. In relation to all of this, I am planning a session for senior management of the university to meet not only with the WSU executive but also with members of the student body so that we are all able to engage in these discussions and be familiar with the processes that are taking place on this campus. So stay tuned, be involved, and if you have any questions, please let me know!! Sehai

Vice-President’s Column Are you desperate for cash to pay the rent or eat? If you have a ﬁnancial crisis, WSU may be able to help. We can lend or grant you up to $500 to tide you through an emergency. The service is totally conﬁdential. Please contact WSU Reception in the Student Union Building for Hardship Application Forms, and related information.

Advocacy – are you getting a bad deal from Study Link, the University, a landlord, or a business in town? WSU can help you via our advocacy service. As always, please contact WSU

Reception in your favourite building – that’s right, the one that houses the Nexus team too. Seriously, though, we can put you in touch with free lawyers if need be, and we can ensure that your rights are not trampled on.

Representation If you want policy or administrative improvements in the University, or government, we can provide representation for you, either through the formal committee structure, or by going directly to the actual decision-makers. And we can work with NZUSA to lobby politicians and government bureaucrats to make life easier for students. The zero interest on student loans was an

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Carl Gordon

idea that was first hatched in WSU early last year and floated directly to the government. We can make things happen. And there are many other services we offer, including cash for affiliated clubs and societies. Check us out. Carl

Sexy Exy

wallplanner, I forgot to grab one in O week!

The seri-arse stuff In regards to your portfolio, what are you working on.. Today? Setting up the culture crisis clinic, this is the ﬁrst step to get to know more internationals and build networks that help Kiwis and Internationals to get to know each other better. This term? Getting as many students involved into WSU, going to International Student Conference with as many students as my budget can afford. Have a silly dance contest. This year? Supporting a strong international community and ﬁnd people who want to do this job next year so that international matters continue to be noticed next year as well.

Getting to know that crazy WSU Executive...

This week:

Sonja Gruebmeyer Position: International Students Representative Programme of study: MSc, Centre for Science and Technology Education Favoured mode of transport: Taxi – someone else does the driving Suburb lived in: Hillcrest, Hamilton East, Melville, Silverdale Hobbies: Cooking, Lacrosse, Reading, Lying on the ﬂoor listening to music or even worse: dancing a silly dance to the same music with a cup of coffee in my hand Favourite website: Dict.leo.org – you just need a good dictionary Favourite TV programme: House, but I don’t have a TV (donations welcome) Favourite sandwich ﬁlling: Chicken, with some cucumbers and mustard, cherry tomatoes and some mayonnaise …and some snowpea sprouts.

What’s the worst ﬁlm you’ve ever seen? Sin City. - no, I think Prince of Egypt was even worse. Has anyone seen Closer? That was really cruel, oh yeah and Kingdom of Heaven - whose idea was this movie anyway? Don’t watch any of these movies without being seriously intoxicated, otherwise you won’t have any fun. Worst habit? Surﬁng the net while talking to my mother on the phone – I just can’t help myself.

Favourite snack: ETA Crisps Barbecue Style (Spicy!)

How much money would it take for you to run nude down Victoria St? Does free dental treatment come with the salary? I wanna be paid on a monthly basis!

Magazine of choice: AirNZ on board magazine, man they have the best traveling tips!

Which of these do you prefer to pick – nose, ears or teeth? All three and I like to rub my eyes and twirl my hair.

Fatal weakness: Fish ‘n Chips What flavour do you go for first in a box of chocolates? Green wrapped stuff that doesn’t smell like peppermint filling. Nuts. What CD is in your stereo/car right now? Wish my car had a CD drive. But my computer is full of weird stuff. I am supposed to have a very bad taste. Harmonizes with my fatal attraction to hopping around aimlessly in my living room, spilling coffee all over the carpet.

What should Nexus contain more of? Glossy pictures of grainy shots of semifamous look-alikes of famous friends of really famous imposters of really really famous people (like me!) In 10 years, you will be: Back home? Rich? Owner of a little fluffy dog? Owner of two little fluffy dogs? In 40 years you will be: Probably no longer the owner of the two fluffy dogs from the last question. Heck, I don’t even know what I will do tomorrow! Someone send me a

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

How are you making sure you and the executive remain accountable to students? I will be prepared for meetings and events and gather as much information on current processes as I can. I want to make informed decisions that I can communicate to the students without mistakes or leaving out crucial information. What do you think is the most important issue facing the executive right now? Finding our proﬁle as a group. We have to develop a new strategic direction since the last one focused on zero interest on student loans. This goal was achieved and now we have to concentrate on our local agenda, straighten up our services to make them better, faster and more.

How do you survive long executive meetings? I draw little sunny faces and smileys and frequently mention that we can discuss this at a later point when all have the same information – but no one listens to me, so I draw more sunny faces, and a few ﬂowers. Just to keep me happy. Now ask yourself a question, and answer it. How am I going to realize all this? I am not sure, I guess with a lot of help and by starting with it right now. I just won’t stop working on it until it’s ﬁnished. What the other execs say about Sonja: - ‘Brings awesome advice from experience’ - ‘Very interesting’ - ‘Not to be reckoned with!’

Maori Students’ Ofﬁcer

International Students’ Ofﬁcer

Race Relations Day: 21 March 2006 – WEAR A BLACK TSHIRT

Ok, O week is over. Judging by the heaps of empty beer bottles awaiting their fate in the recycling boxes around campus – you had a lot of fun. Now it’s back to uni – summer has stopped! Go to your lecture! Learn something! Make your mama proud!

21 March this year is the International Day for Elimination of Racial Discrimination. Aoteroa is celebrating Race Relations Day in a positive manner. The theme for this year is Aoteroa, New Zealand, Turangawaeware, Our Home. The Human Rights Commission invites all to reflect and discuss what does it mean to be a New Zealander, and how the diverse communities within our society, (Maori, Pakeha, Pacific, Asian, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist and many more) all have in common a place to stand and share New Zealand as their home. As your Maori Student Officer for 2006 I invite all Maori Students of Waikato University to unite together on Race Relations Day by wearing a black t-shirt on 21 March 06. Show your support and recognition of this special day to eliminate racial discrimination. Human rights is a live wire subject especially in our modern times where infractions are happening all the time – a special mention must go to the NZ Government and invention of the famed Foreshore and Seabed Act. Here is a hint Mr Harawira, instead smoking in homes, reverse the decision on this act instead of trying to usurp free will - after all wasn’t it this act that got you into parliament?

Flick Now on a totally different note, how many students out there are aware that there was a fire at the hilly on Wednesday night? Some wonderful person out there (you know who you are) decided to light a fire in the men’s toilet. Way to go bro! But what you didn’t know was that Waikato University has its own fireman, who we will call Flick, out there who managed to put the fire out before it spread and before the real firemen turned up. Now if it wasn’t for Flick there may have been no bands no nothing on that night for the students to enjoy. So on your behalf I would like to thank him heaps.

Golden Key To those Maori students who have achieved this dizzy recognition of academic excellence – I and all others congratulate you all. We need to celebrate these efforts so on all of your behalves I now celebrate and congratulate you all – well done, ka mau te wehi, especially Mr Turei Thompson, Nathan Haggie, and Paora Mato.

And if you have some time left … check out the parties in this week Nexus. Oh, and yup, here comes another motherly advice for the novices and not-so-newvices at uni: Just this week I had a chat with one of the librarians. Did you know that the number one question is : “where are the toilets?” ^%#@!, you guys, the library has a lot more use than relieving yourself from all the beer from the bottles in the recycling boxes. Actually, the library is the most valuable tool of your studies anyway, get to know your way around now – not the night before your assignment is due. Even the best librarian can’t help you if the book you need to read has 200 significant pages and is currently on interloan in Invercargill. This is my advice for the week, and I hope to see all you internationals on Tuesday 14th at the first Culture Crisis Clinic in the Guru Lounge (2pm) to talk about the good, the bad and the confusing experiences. If you don’t understand Kiwi Culture you can ask me of course, but I am not likely to know either. Don’t worry though, we will find someone eventually. Cheers, Sonja

WSU EXEC 2006

Renee Rewi – WSU MSO

PRESIDENT

VICE-PRESIDENT

DISABILITIES OFFICER

INTERNATIONAL OFFICER

MATURE STUDENTS OFFICER

CAMPAIGNS OFFICER

Sehai Orgad

Carl Gordon

Jeff Hawks

Sonja Gruebmeyer

Vince Malcolm-Buchanan

Jade & Joseph

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Mature Students Ofﬁcer

I anticipate completion of the registration of A.L.M.S (Adult Learners and Mature Students) Association by the end of the month. At that time I will be seeking to formally construct the 2006 ALMS Committee, who will facilitate all events and functions for the year. Notices announcing the formation of this committee will be posted at a more opportune time. Speaking of ‘notices’ – I should take a moment to apologise for having been inadvertently delayed in posting the ALMS Common Room Notices this term. As opposed to previous years I have opted to have these notices printed in full colour and laminated (in order that they last for the whole year). Unfortunately the process of laminating these documents has taken much longer then I had anticipated! In so saying, I am conﬁdent that by the time you read this article all such notices will be prominently posted throughout. Please also remain cognisant that this year ALMS is being registered in conjunction with the multifarious efforts of the WSU Environment Representative – Frank Stubbing. To all those students who took the time to stop by the ALMS Clubs Table during O Week and sign the ALMS Registration forms we’d like to say THANK YOU! Anyone who missed the chance can add their names to the list being posted in the ALMS Common Room at the Cowshed. Remember, the more names we have registered then the more funding we can seek from your Student Union in order to keep our facilities affordable! As an aside, whilst ALMS will be combining with the Environment Portfolio this year, every effort will be made to undertake an active involvement in the appropriate events and functions of other such Portfolio Ofﬁcers (including Women’s Rights, International, Disabilities etc). This is in alignment with the 2006 WSU Executive’s objective to further advocate and promote an all-inclusive student culture at Waikato University. Over the next few weeks we will also be looking at sourcing bookshelves in order to implement the 2006 ALMS Exchange Library in our Common Room – maybe someone has ‘something’ which they were thinking of getting rid of and which we could use as a bookshelf system? Any tips would be gratefully received! Lastly, I’m still organising the Suggestion Box system which we’ll be utilising this year, so bear with me huh! Oh, and try to be patient as regards to the damaged furniture – I’ll be getting rid of any redundant furniture and the cupboard in your kitchenette will be repaired as soon as CSL/FMD get on to it! Have fun, be safe, and Kia ora! Vince Malcolm-Buchanan

NS OFFICER

EDUCATION OFFICER

GLBT OFFICER

ENVIRONMENTAL OFFICER

MAORI STUDENT OFFICER

WOMEN’S RIGHTS OFFICER

& Joseph

Andrew Pritchard

Megan Moffet

Frank Stubbing

Renee Rewi

Kim Armstrong

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

TAURANGA OFFICER

Anthony Mckenna

Environmental Ofﬁcer

Disabilities Ofﬁcer Ok all - last week was a random ramble, here comes the politics. New Zealand Sign Language Bill. This is to promote and support the use of New Zealand Sign Language by:

Hi to all you students; especially the ﬁrst year guys, welcome to Waikato University.

2. Making it a right to use New Zealand Sign Language in legal proceedings.

The year ‘06’ has taken off with a roar – with the new bus extensions being added to the latest timetables (many thanks to Suzie and the team at Environment Waikato). As from the 1st of March 2006 most buses have now been diverted off track and head to the Uni. This is an innovative move to try to relieve the current trafﬁc congestion problem that Hamilton has, especially at peak times.

3. Allowing rules to be made to help make sure interpreters in legal proceedings have the right skills to do the job.

Thank you to everybody who stopped by at out Clubs Table during O Week – Environment and our friends from Adult Learners and Mature Students Club.

4. Listing principles to guide government departments in the use of New Zealand Sign Language in their services and information.

Don’t forget to obtain a Busit card; this gives you a single ride for $1.40 as opposed to $2 cash, and if you are living en-route of our student bus it’s only $1 – that’s the 69 Bus.

Find a full copy of the bill here. http://www.knowledge-basket.co.nz/gpprint/docs/welcome.html

Thanx also to the volunteers who helped out on our table over O Week – it was much appreciated.

1. Making New Zealand Sign Language an ofﬁcial language of New Zealand.

The Mental Health Commission is calling for a rethink on the use of compulsory treatment for people with mental illness. The Commission has published a report “No-Force Advocacy by Users and Survivors of Psychiatry” by American human rights lawyer Tina Minkowitz which looks at human rights issues related to compulsory treatment. The Commission has published the report to encourage public debate. The report can be found on the Mental Health Commission’s website http://www.mhc.govt.nz. Is that an issue that compares to ﬂuoridation?

Fluoride in the water supply: protecting or poisoning the population? Five hundred years ago Paracelsus stated “All substances are poisons: there is none which is not a poison. The right dose differentiates a poison and a remedy.” This means that any discussion about benefits or toxicity needs to specify the concentrations involved. Analysis of Waikato River water before treatment shows around 0.95 ppm fluoride. During normal flocculation treatment, fluoride concentrations are reduced to around 0.2 ppm, so fluoride is added to drinking water to a target level of around 0.8 ppm, as recommended by WHO guidelines – this is slightly less than the original natural level! Now all this takes place in the name of a supplemental additive in the name of health, so regardless of the fact that it is only being re-adjusted to ‘natural’ levels. Sure, volcanic activity accounts for some elemental Fluoride; the balance is runoff resulting from fertiliser applications in the area of catchment. So the question is really one of Human Rights and choices, for more information, keep an eye on the campaign highlighting the pros and cons. Though the Waikato Times (in all its authenticity of being a straight up presenter of news), has a pro stance.

We have Recycle Day coming up in early April so keep watching for details. Has anyone been keeping an eye on the fluoride debate? Natural: Fluoride occurs naturally in Hamilton City’s water source (the Waikato River). The levels are ‘just topped up’ to the optimum level to prevent decay. Effective: Water fluoridation is one of the most effective ways of reducing tooth decay – by up to 60% in children and up to 35% in adults. Cost Effective: It only costs you 20 cents a year, per person, per household, to receive fluoridated water which benefits everybody in our community – young and old, rich and poor. Safe: Scientific evidence over many years shows water fluoridation is very safe, with no harmful side-effects. Frank Stubbing

Search Café Scientiﬁque within the Waikato portal for more information on this and other interesting facts. Jeff

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Cultural Differences Between Germany And NZ Katrin Görler Living two weeks in NZ I have now recognized these things:

Notices An electric guitar ampliﬁer for sale 130.00$ comes with instruction manual and original packaging. ‘Fender Frontman 15G’ 15Watts.

FOOD: Kiwis like to eat sweet potatoes (we don’t have them in Germany), brocolis, carrots and they really love the barbie (not the doll, abbreviation for barbecue) - it’s a necessity! CLOTHES AND STYLE: I don’t why, but some Kiwis don’t like to spend money on nice shoes. Even when it is raining some of them like to go barefoot. Their clothes are casual during the day, but if you don’t want to make a bad impression at a party (or for example in the Hilly) you should wear hot stuff as a girl. FRIENDLYNESS: Sometimes I think New Zealanders get paid to be so kind. UNIVERSITY: Well organized, but private. In Germany you don’t have to pay for studying at university, because the majority of universities are public and free of high fees. But soon this will change! So come and study as soon as possible in Germany if you want to save some money. CHURCH: Don’t frighten/ scare! Some people really like to agree in everything so it can be very noisy in church/ or in a christian meeting. Germans like to have silence in church, and perhaps that’s why it is so hard to ﬁnd young people at church on Sundays except on Christmas and Easter. CHEERS! If you have a drink with some Germans you should try to look in their eyes while saying ‘Cheers’. If not, the Germans believe it will bring bad luck. INVITATION: You are invited to go to some friends? Bring some food or some drinks for them, they expect it. (It is a way to say thanks for the invitation.) PRONUNCIATION: You thought Kiwis would speak British English? Me, too! But it is not obvious to Kiwis that they speak a distinctive variety of English, but don’t worry - you’ll get used to it.

Female/ Male Language Try to distinguish between female and male sentences and let’s see if something has changed since 1985. Oh dear, you’ve put the peanut butter in the refrigerator again. Shit, you’ve put the peanut butter in the refrigerator again. What terrific idea! What an adorable idea! That film was excellent. That film was excellent, wasn’t it? Please shut the door. I wonder if you could possibly shut the door, please? RESEARCH SOURCES: McGill, David (2003) The Reed Dictionary of New Zealand Slang. Auckland: Reed / Deverson, Tony; Gordon, Elizabeth (1985) New Zealand English. An Introduction to New Zealnd speech and usage. Auckland: Heinemann

Phone Richard 021 255 00 45 838 4719 Leave message at oﬃce. RISK PLAYERS Anyone keen to play risk one night a week? Half fun, half serious games. Not looking for the obsessively devoted. No crying allowed. contact: lmm48@waikato.ac.nz Talks on “Contraception : The Great Con?” 2-3 pm : “Safe Sex” education: Things I wish I knew at school by Brendon Malone, Media & Education Manager, FLI. 3.05 – 4.15pm : Contraception: What doctors don’t say coz they don’t really know yet. Includes Informed consent & unethical Prescription by Dr Peter Scanlon, Accident & Medical Practitioner Date :18 March 2006, Saturday. Venue: L Blk, L3. Contact Stephanie Chia, email: mhsc1@waikato. ac.nz Do you think you can sing? Dance? Entertain? Well, Waikato University Idol 2006 is coming soon. Watch this space! For more info, email Andrew Savage at ads13@waikato.ac.nz. Do u rite yr sas like yr txting 2 yr m8s? 4gotn hw 2 spl? Editwrite will proofread your assignments and make sure your spelling and grammar are letter perfect. Visit us at www.editwrite.co.nz. When you write wrong, we right the wrongs. Non-proﬁt notices of up to 150 words are free to students – email to nexus@waikato.ac.nz, or drop into the box at WSU reception. Businesses and non-students contact us for other rates.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

This is the Nexus fashion issue. So I present….

How to dress like a dyke* or a fairy* on a student’s budget Shane from LWord By Megan (GLBT Officer) As a perfect example of a very hot dyke I have included a picture of Shane from LWord. I will focus on casual uni attending styles…

Now here is a picture of Carson from Queer Eye as an example of a complete fairy. Pants: Tight fitting denim that shows off the butt and flares slightly into a bootleg. Make sure you are wearing a belt, preferably embroidered or detailed leather with a decorative buckle. Trade Aid is a good prospect for a belt and jeans from Demo on sale.

Pants: Men’s jeans, Levis are good! It’s the wide leg shapeless look you are going for and dark denim if you get a choice. Get them from Farmers when they are on special. Make sure you wear them low down like a skater boy, and rips are a plus.

Top: Fitting t-shirt with a label as many fairies are brand orientated. Any colour is good, pastels if no jacket or a white one to emphasise it. Usually quite plain for this layer. See Frankton Market for a cheap knock off. For style got to Diva Central in Victoria St.

Top: Shane is wearing a loose grey t-shirt with print, which is good. Other favourites include white round neck T’s, semi fitting. Also the wide shouldered singlet in a ribbed cotton, grey black or white. Isn’t amazing how specific this is? By the way I don’t own any of these tops … I fail the dyke test. Shop in the men’s underwear section or a big op-shop i.e. the Sallies in Barton St. Jacket: Leather is great or a battered canvas/ cotton jacket. The bomber style is popular or a man’s longer cut. Leather will have zips and canvas will have some sort of arty print on pocket or shoulder with big buttons. Also op-shop for an affordable one.

Carson from Queer Eye

Jacket: If it shines buy it. Bright colours, lots of detailing and pockets make a perfect jacket. Cut as a formal suit jacket is good or a shorter motorcycle style as it shows the butt below. Op-shops will contain something like this almost guaranteed, see Savemart in Te Rapa. For a cooler version got to Diva Central. Enjoy!

*dyke and fairy are terms used affectionately by me towards my own community. This is not appropriate language to be used in general conversation, especially by straight folks (it’s kinda like the word ‘nigger’). Please stick with lesbian and gay as terms.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Hair of the Dog, on the Village Green Celtic Rock at its finest Wear something green, get a beer and join in the festivities Another opportunity Where Students can Unite.

Clubs Day, March 2006

Friday, 17th - lunchtime

Issue 3 路 March 13 2006

Confessions of a List Maker Danielle Thomson The Bert And Ernie Theor y

Livin’ on a Prayer

The Bert and Ernie Theory is a mind-boggling theory pertaining to life, love and all that jazz.

Why is it that we are living in a society where we have to be tolerant of everyone’s religious beliefs, but they won’t be tolerant of us insulting those religions? Over the last few weeks and months, several things have happened that have made me question why religion is so important in a society that is supposed to be secular. Cartoons of Mohammed and a South Park episode insulting Catholics are two of the most obvious examples of this.

Ernie and his friend Bert (with the misshapen head) represent the model relationship. The Ying and Yang of their relationship is silly balanced by sensible. Their bond as Muppets, friends, and flatmates is reminiscent of ‘opposites’ attract and the give ‘n’ take required in relationships. They’re happy pair, whether you think they’re merely friends or something more. Ernie, the sillier, louder and more popular of the two, is also mostly likely the more stylish (with no eyebrows as opposed to one giant eyebrow), and brings humour and comic relief to a stale and monotonous relationship. Balancing all Ernie’s silliness is Bert the more sensible (possibly boring) brains of the operation. The rules of engagement according to this theory declare there must be ONLY one Ernie and ONLY one Bert. Not two of the same or two Ernies, an Elmo or even one Bert, one Oscar and one Leather Muppet (Mick Jagger). This is plausible; an aged Muppet like Mick Jagger requires more attention. More attention equaling bees wax polish for protecting leather!! I can see how this is a credible argument, but what role do the myriad of other Muppets play in this circle of life? There’s Elmo, Grover, Big Bird (with his invisible friend) and Oscar? What do they bring to this idyllic Muppet relationship? Elmo’s that annoying friend. It’s great to see him, and great to see him go. He has that tendency to be a touch over excited, loud and forever content with life. You long for the day he’s not so gosh darn positive. Big Bird is living a life of drug induced happiness, carrying on with his invisible friend and sneaking out for a quick fix every half hour. While you don’t mind the B-man hanging around his dependency will become a drain, whether it’s coffee, ciggies or the P he’s making in his car boot. Bert is that Seagull acquaintance; he flaps around, making a whole lot of noise and crapping on Ernie’s games. Bert’s need to be bossy will see him spending every spare moment propping up a bar, talking into his whiskey and chain smoking, He’ll drive all his Muppet buddies away. Grover’s delusions of being a super hero will sooner or later take a turn for the worse when he puts his life on the line… unsuccessfully.

That whole South Park thing pisses me off quite a bit. Anyone that watches South Park knows that anyone and everyone is fair game. Canadians, republicans, democrats, black people, Jews and my personal favourite, Russell Crowe, have all been targeted. So why do Catholics feel they should be immune? I’ll tell you why: because they use the magic word – religion. If you say that word, you can get away with almost anything because for some reason we all have to respect what religions do. I don’t understand why governments think they have to protect us from guns, drugs, cigarettes and alcohol, but religion pretty much has the right of way with everything, with very little constraint. People are so eager to protect their children from everything, but why not from religion, which is just as, if not more, harmful in the long run than many other things? I know that most of us have been brought up on this idea of “multiculturalism” – that all cultures are just different. But I believe that we live in a secular society that is better than a theocracy. We have the right to chose what, if any, religion we wish to prescribe to, and we don’t have to have anyone else’s beliefs forced on us if we don’t want to. Don’t be so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance. To quote an episode of South Park: ‘tolerant means you put up with it…it can still piss you off’. Catholics and Muslims should have to tolerate having the piss taken out of them, just as we have to put up with listening to the per cent Tamaki and his crazy religo-shit. Believe it or not, some of us actually would like to live in a society where we aren’t constantly being told what to think. We get enough of that elsewhere. So religion: back off and let us think for ourselves. We are allowed!

Either way I still want to be the Ernie in my relationships not the grumpy, up-tight Bert with a mono-brow (although I’m probably really the Oscar). I wanna giggle, sing, dance and play games. I’m a free-ish spirit; if I want to cook up some hair-brained scheme with Elmo and Big Bird no Bert will stand in my way. In the Bert and Ernie theory I see no happy ending.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

C.J. and Macca’s

Classic Rock Review ZZ Top – Eliminator Reviewed by C.J

Howdy. Did you like last week’s review? I bet you did. Well, this week we have something special for you. These guys are true legends of rock. ZZ Top have been around for thirty years now, the same three guys in the band the whole time. That’s a feat unmatched by any other rock band in history. And how are they legends, you may ask? Seriously, to find the answer to that all you have to do is listen to their 1983 album Eliminator. Wait, before we get into that, what do you think when you hear the name ZZ Top? The first thing that comes to mind would have to be the beards. Two of the three guys, Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill, have facial hair down to their beer-guts. It’s their trademark, the whole wildman-hillbilly look. These guys redefine the term rugged. And you know the funniest part? The drummer, Frank Beard, is the one without a beard. I know, hilarious.

Anyway, back to the album. It opens with Gimme All Your Lovin’, a totally righteous piece of pounding, rhythmic, guitar-rock. With a twist. The fellas decided to add a synthesizer sound to this album, and boy did it work. ZZ Top took MTV, and the music world, by storm back in ’83 with their unique southern blues-rock sound. My absolute favourite ZZ Top song, Sharp Dressed Man, is an example of this. And, correct me if I’m wrong ladies, but I think they have it right when Billy sings “they come runnin’ just as fast as they can, cos every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man”. My other favourite from this album is the song Legs, which, crazy as it sounds, is all about legs. The long, luscious, desirable, female kind. These three hombres from Fort Worth, Texas, sure had their priorities right. Chicks, rock n’ roll, beer, chicks, cars, and more chicks. Totally cool. A few other gems from Eliminator are TV Dinners, Got Me Under

Pressure, and I Got The Six. My advice to you is to grab a six-pack of cheap beer, sit back, relax, and listen to some of the meanest guitar driven blues-rock the world has ever known. 8.5/10 P.S. Starting next week we’re gonna be giving out free stuff thanks to our friends at Radio Hauraki. Watch this space.

Burton.C.Bogan

(going crazy with capitals since 2005)

Where ever ybody knows your name… Ever wonder where you can go where you can actually get in? Where you don’t have some bouncer glare at you? Where you don’t need the latest clothing labels to get in? Okay, I’ve ﬁnished ranting…IT’S 6FT UNDER! New Zealand’s only dedicated Heavy Metal bar. No dress code…just an attitude code. The décor is suitably Metaller…skulls, Metal posters, photos of Dimebag…there’s places to head bang, to drink, to play pool. Recently there’s been some live acts and there are plans to have more so we thought we’d give ya a heads up… Sat 18th March - NEW WAY HOME. This Auckland band featured on The Axe Attack’s CD with their song Two-O-Five. Pretty cool live act.

Sat 25th March - JAGGEDY ANN from Los Angeles. Remember how Chuganaut won World Battle of the Bands? Well I’m pretty sure that Jaggedy Anne were the US ﬁnalists who competed against Chuganaut so sound worth a look. Check out their website: www.jaggedyann.com Thurs 30th March - RUPTUS JACK (Auckland) with 10 PENNY JOKE (Australia) and SLIPPING TONGUE (Rotorua) – Haven’t heard of the ﬁrst two before although I know Ruptus Jack is relatively young in age. Boganette loves Slipping Tongue (no jokes). I’m not usually a fan of chick vocalists but they are pretty cool.

Hopefully lead singer Sypho will have an argument about yams again. Always loud and aggressive while still being hilarious. I highly recommend it. Sun June 4th - THE AXEMAN’S BIRTHDAY BASH - 18TH ANNUAL GEMINI PARTY featuring WORLD WAR FOUR, SINATE and guests. Come celebrate Paul’s birthday. Hear World War Four and Sinate. Both very cool, Sinate are the band Matt & Sam reformed after leaving 8ft Sativa. Kinda cookie monsterish but still real cool. World War Four…legends so I don’t need to explain. Again, check out the Axe Attack CD.

Sat 8 April - D.I.C Reunion tour. FUCKEN A PETER! My favourite Kiwi metal band of all time are gonna be at 6ft. BE THERE!

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Musings of a Word Freak

The Spinster’s Cat

Brie Jessen

Sophie (sophy@mindless.com)

The Weekend’s Come! This past weekend has been one of the most exciting in my English life to date. I went out on Friday night with a workmate, we downed copious amounts of red wine and I ended up with a graze and a bruise on my chin. Great times. My knees are also black and blue, and purple. So that was my foray into Oxford’s night life. Very exciting, although I don’t remember much between meeting up with my workmate and her friends and climbing in the taxi to get home. Must have been fun judging by the way I felt on Saturday morning. Nasty. I thought I’d become older and wiser and that I didn’t get that drunk anymore, but obviously it’s a case of once a booze hag, always a booze hag. Dammit. Then after a somewhat slow recovery while packing my multitudes of crap, clothes, make up and shoes into bags, I slept Saturday night like a baby. Sunday dawned a new day, and a new house, hence my hungover packing. I moved into a three story house with 5 other people. They are mainly third year students, and they all seem very friendly, and crazy. I was invited out on Sunday night for ‘a drink’ at an Irish Pub that they visit every Sunday night. How could I refuse? What better way to meet the flatties (although they’re called housemates) and become one of them. Regardless of the fact I had work early the next morning I decided to go. One drink couldn’t hurt, right? Surprisingly my hag-ness didn’t shine through, perhaps the poisoning on Friday gave my system enough of a shock to force me to slow down. I had just the one drink (Guinness!) in this cute little Irish Pub, the bartender was an old Irish man, and there were cute Irish people singing. And when they sang, everyone had to be quiet. The night wore on, and I did think about leaving so I could catch a sufficient amount of sleep, but alas, as I write this I am fighting the tired itchy red eyes, they do blend quite nicely with my grazed chin… So obviously I didn’t leave the cute Irish pub. I felt rude leaving early, and I was sure they wouldn’t stay for lock-in. I was right; we all left at around mid-night. No one turned into a pumpkin, but they did all realise upon standing up how much alcohol they’d ingested. We ended up walking home, for an hour, through this huge park, where we had to stop and look at the stars and sing Coldplay – Yellow at the top of our lungs. Some of them also played on the merry go round, and swings. Then we walked some more and some more, and I got home, washed my face, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

All my life I’ve been a word-freak. I have a notebook (okay so it’s about 3 times the size of a notebook) full of words. Words I’ve read and didn’t understand (that’s what happens when you try and read Virginia Woolf at 16!), words I like the meaning of, words I like the sound of. Anything and everything really. Mmmm… words…give me words! Words! Words! Words! Or course the word-freakishness only increased (rather rapidly actually) once I got to Uni. Did you know they have all twentysomething volumes of the Oxford English Dictionary in the library?! Not that I have looked or anything. And there is a whole subject called Linguistics which id devoted entirely to the study of language, (and words are part of language), so naturally that’s my major. Of course I’ll deny any allegations that I read the dictionary (I only I do it occasionally, I swear!). Apparently this word-freak deal is rather unusual though, as my father takes great delight in telling me ‘most people don’t get ‘high’ off words like you…’ It’s not that I get ‘high’, it’s just the sound, or the meaning, or both…Mmmm…Words! I mean how can you not like the sound of a word like ‘ecclesiastical’ or the meaning (and sound) or ‘amorphous’ (which means without deﬁnite shape or structure). I’m sure there must be lots of people who think I’m crazy, but you know, I’m good with that! I love words and words make me happy so it’s all good! Maybe I could be like Cookie Monster but with words. I’ve always liked Cookie Monster…Words! Mmmm… words…I like words…give me words! Words! Words!

That was when I realised; Sunday night was my Nexus writing night. What to do? You guessed it, write it at work on Monday. Will I ever grow up? Become sensible and mature? I thought I had.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

From rags to more rags An occassional history of Nexus · by Killer Mime

In 1969: Hair was long Bras were burning Revolution was in the air Chairman Mao’s little red book was in every cool student’s back pocket The Beatles’ had just put out a new album Headline - WUSA fees leap to $23 So went the ﬁrst issue of Nexus to be archived. What became of Vol 1 ‘68, who knows? Probably rolled up at a Nexus party.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

im e J l c Un

Kiddies

WORD OF THE WEEK

page

noun:

Futtock (fuh-toK)

A curved piece of wood that makes up the bottom of a ship.

3. (m)

4. (m)

Who plays David Brent in the BBC hit ‘The Office’? 2 What is Stellan Skarskård’s profession in ‘Good Will Hunting’? 3 Who starred opposite Bugs Bunny in the movie ‘Space Jam’? 4 What was Pixar animations’ first featurelength film? 5 Who won the 2006 oscar for best supporting female actress? 6 Who plays J.D. in the comedy ‘Scrubs’? 7 Who plays Denny Crane in ‘Bostan Legal? 8 What is the name of Michael Douglas’ wife? 9 What painting was stolen in the 1999 version of ‘The Thomas Crown Affair’? 10 What famous actor directed ‘Passion of the Christ’? 11 What movie does the line ‘I spent like three hours shading your upper lip’ feature?

UNCLE JIM’S GUIDE TO

Kiddy

Flicks 4/5

5. (m)

The Harry Potter trilogy is without doubt the best thing at the movies. Starring hot new actress Emma Watson (Hermione), these movies are the perfect way to unwind after a long day at school (or work). Fast paced action combined with spectacular acting and spine-melting special effects make for great watching.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Film&TV Quiz

Last week’s Answers 1. 13 (prime numbers) G (keyboard) B (US Presidents) 2. Moe (The Simpsons) 3. Rhythm 4. Warren Buffett

2. (m)

e splostac /He Hea/Dac DWESTD NE ENDSSD UT DAYdayO

Dingbats 1. One in a million 2. Space invaders 3. One step forward, two steps back 4. Son of a gun 5. Make a monkey out of him

1. (e)

DINGBAT TIM

Be the first person to bring this weeks’ dingbat answers to nexus will score a double Rialto Movie pass.

Issue 3 路 March 13 2006

Split Decision Vitamin C & Special K (with contributions from Medium Salsa) Leaving a Legacy at Waikato University

Killing Time on Campus

No one wants to be forgotten and possibly the easiest way to be remembered is simply to be an ass. Thankfully this comes easy to many of you. Here are a few suggestions to those of you who are unsure of how to leave your mark at Uni. - Wear a traditional Mexican sombrero…everywhere. It not only distinguishes you from the rest, it blocks out the harmful UV rays from our thin ozone - thanks America.

Gary Oliver By now you have probably read or heard the latest news pertaining to one of New Zealand’s most popular web sites, with 60% of all NZ Internet trafﬁc, Trade Me. If you haven’t, here’s an abridged version of the story.

- Be late to every one of your classes, shimmy your way up to the front of the class, move people aside if you have to. If this does not get your lecturer’s attention say a personal hello so he knows you’re there.

John Fairfax Holdings limited have recently acquired the virtual merchandise auction business for a tidy sum of 700 million dollars. One of the benefactors Sam Morgan comes out of the deal with a little over 200 million for his efforts.

- Ladies: dance on tables…topless…write your name on your chest too…and your number, so we can all remember you the next day, and for the rest of our lives.

Spending his childhood in a housebus, hating school, bailing out of university prior to graduation, and currently all of 30 years old; I could write a short thesis on how Sam should be a role model for all. Instead, I decided to ask a number of students what they’d do if they were suddenly 200 million dollars on the happy side of the accountant. In order, the things I’d do with millions of dollars are as follows: 1. Buy beer. In Germany, Sweden, Italy, Switzerland…. 2. Hire an exotic maid; and choose her uniform. 3. Nothing. Nothing at all. Here were the most popular choices amongst those on campus I got hold of: 1. Pay off as many of my bills as I could. [It’s 200 MILLION, you’ve got credit issues?] 2. RETIRE! 3. Finally pay back my parents for all those years of torment. 4. Travel the world, tipping generously. 5. Invest in stocks and shares. [Presumably Trade Me ones] 6. Buy a decent home and car. 7. Buy the Hilly and offer ridiculous student discounts. 8. Make lots of charitable donations. 9. Buy my boss’ business, and make him the janitor. 10. Fu*ked if I know.

- Be hygienic. Shave, pluck and trim your pubic hair - in class. - Start a war. Between flatmates. Between residence halls. Between AEISEC and the ACE swim team. Or between countries. Think big, like Brazil, they need to be shaken up a bit. - Stalk someone. You’ll forever be in court documents. (cookie mumbling…chew…chew…chew…choke!!!chew…swallow…) Ahhh… - Fake your own death or kidnapping, hey two chicks did it in the U.S., so can you. Hey, they were in the news for at least two weeks, longer if they’re HOT. - Kill a WSU exec. For instance…the Education Officer - our friend Andrew. - Try huffing lake water. Bonus points for duck. - Set fire to something. The bigger the better. - Be an angry drunk your entire stay at Uni. Sorry Chr…um…we’d better not say his name, he’d get even more angry and drunk. - Carry squirt guns filled with jizz and spray anyone who disagrees with you or looks at you funny. More props if you don’t use a gun.

It struck me as a little bit odd that ‘retire’ was so well represented. Either lecturers are getting much younger, or students are getting much lazier. The other point of interest is that parents, donations, and generosity of various forms all made appearances.

- Fail CUP. You may be retarded, but at least I’d remember you. You don’t forget the truly stupid.

Take that, all those people who think students top the list of the self-absorbed. With the world going to hell in a handbag, generation X-box might offer a glimmer of hope contrary to popular belief; ignoring #10 that is. Till next time… go buy yourselves a lotto ticket.

- Get caught having sex in the library or wanking at porn in the info commons. Bonus for bestiality.

- Fill the city’s water supply with jelly mix.

- Go to the Bomfunk MC’s concert. I remember ya’ll…all 37 of you. - Steal all the seats from PWC…by hand. Kudos for doing it during a class. Remember, if you’re not obnoxious, you won’t be remembered.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Food

Apple crumble Apple crumble is a nice easy pudding to throw together and forget about. Classic comfort food, and it makes a good breakfast too.

Stuff you need 4-6 apples (this is a good way to use up dodgy fruit or slightly sour apples off a tree) 3 tblsp sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon Add blueberries, boysenberries, banana, pears etc if desired. Crumble: 1 cup ﬂour 1/2 cup brown sugar 1 cup rolled oats 1-2 tsp ground cinnamon or cardamom slivered almonds or other nuts, optional 150g butter

Method Cut up apples and cook for 10 mins with sugar, cinnamon and a little water. Rub all other ingredients together to make the crumble – it should just stick together when squeezed. Put apple mixture into a baking dish and chuck crumble on top. Dot with butter and bake for about 35 minutes or until crisp and brown. Serve with yoghurt, cream, milk or just by itself. Tastes good hot or cold.

Restaurants After farewelling the Hilly at the awesome Exponents concert, I couldn’t resist making my restaurant review this week on the Victoria (“what do you want from him?...”) Chinese Restaurant, on Victoria St. The interior appears at first glance rather OTT - frilly, bright yellow chair-covers! Apart from that, though, it’s really quite simple: a red and gold feature wall at the kitchen end, then white tablecloths, white walls, and white crockery. Note: bathrooms are rather basic, but clean. The Victoria has a very impressive menu. There must have been a dozen headings: entrees, soups, beef, seafood, rice/noodles/ conjee (which I think is a savory porridge), vegetables. It contained everything from the basic chicken and corn soup to outrageoussounding offerings such as: cold and dressed jellyfish, crisp intestine, shrimp-stuffed fish stomach, and sea cucumber in brown sauce. Great for those wanting to try something

different, though I’m sure an unadventurous eater could eat there for a month without trying something ‘dodgy’. My partner bravely started with the ‘cold and pressed jellyfish’, while I chose the ‘duck and combination soup’. They were both delicious. The soup was thick and rich and packed with vegetables and shredded duck, and the jellyfish, though the texture was very strange to Western tastes, was infused with the flavours of sesame and soy. For mains, I (being a ginger-fiend) chose the crab and spring onion stir-fried with ginger. I figured (since it didn’t have the word ‘in shell’ as other crab dishes did), it would be shell-free. I was wrong. I was presented with a plate piled high with the component parts of two large crabs, with spring onions, slices of ginger, and masses of the richest, tastiest sauce ever. It was some time before the waitress remembered to bring me the necessary utensils, serviettes and fingerbowl, by which

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Hazazel time I was a frustrated greasy mess... but it was really good. My partner had the spicy dryfried beef, which was also good (and much easier to eat!). The waitress checked whether we wanted the spiciness toned down, but it was ok as long as we had plenty of rice and water. Don’t forget to ask for rice. The mains are almost too big for one person, especially if you have an entree and dessert. We shared a deep-fried banana, served (very promptly!) with ice-cream and chocolate sauce. We more-or-less ignored the wine list (badly presented, but quite extensive), as it was a little pricey. Service was occasionally slow or forgetful, but overall it was pretty good. The prices are decent too, considering the quality and quantity of the food. I think that Chinese restaurants (like Indian ones) are best when you go with a large group , so you can sample and share many different dishes. As for us, we will deﬁnitely return with friends (I have to try crisp intestine!).

A DV, D CAN T

YOU E S U F RE

A great deal, the price of a music DVD gets you a long live set on DVD and a live music CD! What a bargain! Makes up for the ugly cover design and bursts of male nudity courtesy of ex-QOTSA member Nick Oliveri. On-stage nudity at massive music festivals requires you to be very comfortable with your body or be a real rocker, and Oliveri is both to such an extent that seeing a nudity warning on the front is as natural as cool air signalling the coming autumn. Kate Winslet has nothing on him. I put the DVD on and enjoyed the sounds while I worked my weekend job, and there’s nothing quite like having Josh Homme start a foul-mouthed spiel on high volume in a store full of Sunday-morning customers. “Cock smoker” was a favourite term of his. This tirade that interrupted the live set was directed at a crowd member throwing things at Homme. Homme retaliated by basically telling everyone else in the venue to hate on him for it after the show. I focus on the trivial rather than the band and music because they’re both rockin’, and I don’t know how to compliment them further without plagiarising some other review of their work. Everything nice you can say has already been said before. Go to it. Reviewed by Kazuma Namioka

I loved the 3 episodes of Wallace & Gromit screened back in the day, and have been looking forward to this, their first feature film, since I was 12 or so. It was delayed while the creators made the funny, fowl-filled family film Chicken Run, but now here’s the cheeseloving, animal rights-ignoring inventor Wallace and his partner (business) pooch Gromit in a colourful claymation caper. Set in an English countryside village untouched by the Internet or hip-hop, where “fashionable knitwear” isn’t an oxymoron, Wallace and Gromit run a humane pest-control company. With a Giant Vegetable Competition coming up the emphasis is on the rabbit population. Trouble comes in the form of a Lepus-like Rabbit Prime with an appetite for deforestation.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

The movie is hilarious, with good honest puns providing a large portion of the humour. Gromit is like Brian from Family Guy, albeit a mute. This sensible character you relate most to has no lines or visible mouth, but some truly priceless expressions nevertheless. I’ll admit now I’m a sucker for claymation, but it’s not just that. It shits on the necrophilic Corpse Bride which, as the title suggests, was simply visual style shrouding a cold, dead heart. This movie is alive and warm, considering it as just a children’s movie is to do it a great injustice. Yes, it’s as overdue as the Apocalypse, but it wasn’t too late by any means. Rejoice, for the end is nigh. Reviewed by Kazuma Namioka

CD reviews Reviewed by Mo Htown favourites This Night Creeps return with their latest offering, the Hear A Body Tone EP. Frontman Luc describes it as “pretty much just metal”, their press release call it a “microcosmic, overall more aggressive rendering” of their debut LP, The Noise of Music. If you are cool, you would have made it to the release gig on Friday the 10th (the last ever one with drummer Mark ‘Wurzel’ Seeney before he scoots over to Canada) and witnessed the fitness yourself.

Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins Reviewed by Kat

My initial thoughts about this debut album from Jenny Lewis (vocalist for Rilo Kiley) were hasty. Originally I branded the album ‘a bit blah and predictable’ but with listen after listen the tracks become far more defined and it just falls short of a gem. Fans of alternative country & folk genres will adore the sweetness and simplicity of the album, Lewis is a romantic, she is a gentle storyteller that lulls and eases you. Rabbit Fur Coat represents that cute simplicity in a musical world that is currently dominated by intense riffs and violent melodies that aren’t for everyone. It may be easy listening but what’s so wrong with that? Lewis definitely makes no excuse for it. ‘You are what you love’ is beautifully written and unlike other vocally dominated tracks on the album she let’s the band have their day. ‘The Big Guns’ helps to break up the album as a more optimistic, up-tempo tune. The obvious single on the album stands as the cover song on the album originally a Travelling Wilbury’s song ‘Handle me with care’ where she is joined by M Ward (Sex God), Ben Gibbard (Death Cab for Cutie) and Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes). So yeah, couldn’t exactly do much wrong - it’s short, cute and playful.

‘Rabbit Fur Coat’

‘Hear A Body Tone EP’

Upon listening, it is evident that their sound has gotten considerably heavier – those expecting replays of the sometimes-epic swashes of colour and layers of their debut album may be taken by surprise. The songs jump straight out at your face without hesitation or polite introductions; the guitars are more jarring, the timings more spasmodic, the vocals more frantic. That said, the Creeps’ trademark sound prevails throughout the clamourous din – every now and then, there will still be a catchy-as-hell hook that will slyly infiltrate your system and coerce you into humming along before you know it. I don’t know how they do it, the clever little buggers. The very last track – ‘Course Five’ – is a narration walking you through the production details of this EP, in case you wanted to know who played what and who wrote what and where and when it was done. How kind. All in all, a delicious, cacophonous affair. If only all five-course meals were this good.

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Poetree

The Masses Beware! Beware! Of ‘normal’ man With his low rate mortgage, his ounce of land. Do not engage! Avoid his hands Don’t let him touch your crazy plans ‘Cause he will rant, with words devour All those thoughts that give you power. Beware! Beware! Of average Joe He may be stupid, he may be slow But don’t engage! Avoid the blows Don’t let him strike where madness grows. ‘Cause his pompous words, from TV themes Can never match your unique dreams. Beware! Beware! Of the swarms inane They make up in might, what they lack in brains Do not engage! Avoid their reign Don’t let them creep, into your veins. ‘Cause their moronic fists will leech you thin Of all those bright ideas you form within. Beware! Beware! Of the gifts they fling Bullets these, disguised as bling Do not engage! Avoid the rings Don’t let lustered chains, tie life to strings ‘Cause those flashy links, distract sharp minds From important thoughts, for which you’ve been designed. Beware! Beware! Of ‘normal’ man With his low rate mortgage, his ounce of land. Do not engage! Avoid his hands Don’t let him touch your crazy plans. Lest his ubiquitous mind, creep onto your plate; When chewed and ingested, its sadly too late, To restore unmolested, your brains original state. Every thing’s diluted, you’re shafted for sure, When the thralls been digested, metamorphosis new, The old self ’s in the past now, the average is you. by MDRAR

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

Films 36 QUAI DES ORFEVRES (36th Precinct.) Victoria Cinema Review by Joe Citizen

This is a smouldering potboiler of a thriller. Two French cops from different rival departments are trying to solve the same case. An ultra violent gang of armed thieves are doing over bank vans with extreme prejudice. Nobody knows who they are and they’re making everyone look like fools. All the players are professionals and no one’s playing by the book. Extortion, intimidation, cover-ups and politics – it’s a heady mix of power brokerage and information gained by fair means or foul. The two cops are ﬁghting not just for prestige, but the top job of their boss. He who wins this one gets to be the big shot, and their team gets the plunder. This ain’t Hollywood, this is a French tour de force. Every shot exudes a substantial amount of style, with jaw dropping compositions and a tense stripped back sound track. The realism of the shoot-outs and chase scenes drip authenticity. No wonder then that the director Oliver Marchal is a former cop.

He has rendered this hidden world open with an incredible clarity of vision and his urbane treatment reveals a world of egos and secret agreements – no one is as innocent as they might at first appear. The dialogue betrays nothing. No one is culpable. This is a tense and psychological piece of work and the words that come out of character’s mouths are like chess pieces in a dangerous game of bluff without bravado. There’s too much at stake to speak the truth, what they say is only what they choose to tell. Don’t expect a gore fest. This is a subtle and emotionally charged piece of cinema. It wrenches the viewer back from the precipice of voyeurism with the easy finesse of identifiable normality. The difference between good and evil is a blurred continuum of the human condition. These aren’t heroes and monsters, these hard men have their own frailties and suffer the consequences like any one else.

The mise en scene is outstanding. Shot in widescreen, the viewer has to move their eyes over the entire image to pick up every nuance of the story. Occasionally, very simple images create a powerful counterpoint and provide a pause in the overall ﬂow. Beautifully colour graded and edited, this ﬁlm is a marvel to watch for its production values alone. Don’t be put off by the subtitles. This is a great piece of cinema.

Rialto Check OK, hands up who has joined the Rialto Film Club? Well those of you that have would know that there was a free screening for you on Wed 8th March of The Squid and the Whale. Those of you who haven’t yet, you’re missing out on FREE MOVIES people!! It’s not too late though. Go to our website www. rialto.co.nz and join up to receive the benefits! Just don’t forget to put Rialto Hamilton as your ‘preferred’ cinema. So, this Thursday the 16th we have two films starting. The White Countess and History of Violence. The White Countess is set in 1930’s Shanghai, where a blind Americandiplomat, played by Ralph Fiennes, develops a curious relationship with a Russian refugee, played by Natasha Richardson. Richardson’s character, Sofia, works odd, sometimes illicit jobs such as a taxi driver and occasional prostitute to support members of her dead husband’s family, played by the exquisite Redgrave sisters (Lynn & Vanessa). History of Violence, directed by David

Leigh McGeady

Cronenberg (Scanners, The Fly) and based upon the graphic novel by John Wagner and Vince Locke stars Viggo Mortensen as Tom Stall, a man living happily and quietly with his lawyer wife (Maria Bello) and two children in the small town of Millbrook, Indiana. Their peaceful idyllic lives are shattered however, when Tom foils an attempted robbery in his diner by protecting his fellow employees, friends and customers by killing the two sought-after criminals. Tom is then heralded as a hero, attracting a media circus and being forced into the spotlight. Shying away from this newfound fame, he attempts to go back to normalcy only to be visited by a mysterious and threatening man (Ed Harris) who arrives in the town believing Tom to be a man named ‘Joey’ who has wronged him in the past. Is it a case of mistaken identity or is Tom hiding a history of violence from everyone who knows him? This ﬁlm also stars William Hurt who was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting actor for his work in this ﬁlm. This is one not to miss! Come check it out!

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

“It’s all about sex… So get used to it” Danielle Danielle Thomson Thomson talks talks to to aa President President Of Of The The USA USA “Kitty at my foot and I want touch it” - lyrics to the quirky and cryptically crude song by the Presidents of the United States of America. According to Bassist for the band Chris Ballew, “ It could simply about wanting to pat a kitty.” Or something much more X rated but then, life’s “all about sex” and Chris says we’d better get used to it – “it’s what we’re all about”.

and Gorillaz had a band - The Gorillaz but better.” The sound created by The Feelings Hijackers is a “culmination of abstract raps and sing-along choruses” states Chris, who assures audiences the idea is still original, “it’s loosely based on the virtual band the Gorillaz but is much hookier and catchy.” With fun songs and lyrics, much the Presidents themselves, The Feelings Hijackers include

“ I’m looking for ward to seeing a bit more, and having a chance to poke round a bit.” If you’re older than fifteen and younger than forty, you’ll remember the Presidents as the band that filled the nineties with other eccentric and catchy songs like “Lump”, and “Peaches”, more recently introducing us to their latest, and yet another sing-along song “Some Postman”. Having visited to play a sold out gig in Auckland last year the Presidents return in March to play EdgeFest 06, with forty minute sets at all four concerts. “We’ve been to New Zealand three times in past with touring, but have only had time for rest and recuperation between shows” says Chris, “ I’m looking forward to seeing a bit more, and having a chance to poke round a bit.” A closet botanical garden fan, Chris is looking forward to visiting the Wellington Botanical Gardens in search of “freaky Plants.” “I love freaky plants, all those weird and wonderful plants are so neat to check out” chimes the bassist as he breaks into song. For most of our conversation he sings, strums the guitar and points out how quickly I speak. “I’m not making fun” he assures “it’s just an observation.” Having disbanded in 1997 to pursue individual projects the band “hooked up again” in 2002 to start their own record label, and tour again. “After touring and doing concerts for most of the ‘90s we wanted to focus on other things for a while.” Side projects for Chris include The Feelings Hijackers “It’s like if the Presidents

catchy and kooky titles like “Electric Spider”. “Have a listen to it at www.tfhmusic.com” enthuses Chris. Some Postman is the first single off their latest album Love Everybody, and tells the story of a love letter-thieving postman who’s “grooving to all our love letters”. Newly divorced Chris, who’s finding his feet when it comes to writing love letters, says the best love letters (or texts) are short. “Start off slow and subtle, then really raunch it up half way through and really shock the recipient. That’ll get you some movement.” advises Chris who labeled his own awarding winning love letter lines “as too raunchy to be said over the phone.” Hmmmmm. “I’ve recently got

that for five minutes and you’re feeling good.” Apparently he’s not a gym bunny. “I can’t exercise when you have to schedule it, plan it, go out of the house and hang round with a bunch of other sweaty people and do it.” After dialing what felt like a million digits to reach Chris in Seattle, he laughed, and sung his way through what for only five seconds was a normal interview. He feed me crazy tid bits of information, all of which I’d love to include if words weren’t an issue. But I’m entirely selfish person at times, and I needed to talk to Chris about Cleveland. The opening ballad for TV’s Drew Carey show, “Cleveland Rocks” is also by the Presidents and having never been there I needed to be told whether it actually does rock or not. “No, Cleveland does not rock. It’s grey, dull, white Middle America with no real culture.” Chris suddenly rethinks his approach to Cleveland.” I’m gonna get in trouble with the Cleveland Board of Tourism now.” “It [Cleveland] is just a bank, there’s nothing really going on there, so I guess it’s a place more about the people than anything else. The focus is your relationships and the

“I’d tell myself to bulk-up, eat more and dye my hair red again. Then I’d stand in front of a tall mirror and stare at myself naked for the rest of the day,” divorced so I’m practicing my love letter and love text writing skills a little more” For single ladies wondering what he’s like, Chris is currently doing what could be considered a very odd exercise regime. “I do jumping-jacks, sit-ups and push-ups anytime I feel a burst of energy. I’ll be chilling at home and suddenly jump up and go for five minutes.” Chris’s voice sounds strained, I know he’s now doing his jumping jacks. “Good old fashion jumping-jacks, damn that works. Do

Issue 3 · March 13 2006

people around you rather than having a beautiful waterfront.” Finishing comments? Given the opportunity to be any celebrity for a day Chris would swap sides and choose to be Lindsay Lohan. “I’d tell myself to bulk-up, eat more and dye my hair red again. Then I’d stand in front of a tall mirror and stare at myself naked for the rest of the day,” says the bassist, as he imagines the splendid reality of it.

Issue 3 路 March 13 2006