17 MARCH 2008
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Is Facebook the new MySpace? My sources say no – Facebook is actually the new Bebo. Yeah. It’s that popular. But really? Everyone’s going to drop all of these stupid social networking sites in favour of the Next Big Internet Thing. We know what it is, but we can’t say much. All we can tell you is that it involves several of the world’s richest, most powerful people, Scientologists, and a big brain-screw thing like on the Matrix. We can’t wait. Is it okay to use Wikipedia for referencing my assignment? Signs point to yes – Of course you should use Wikipedia for all your assignments. The lecturers do. In fact, you should use it to do your whole assignment, instead of just the referencing! Check out this week’s feature – we show you how!* If a girl sets a lunch date, but then doesn’t show up, does it mean she’s into me? My sources say no – dude, cast your line elsewhere. Fish that nibble and steal all the bait are the worst kind – you’ll never hook ‘em. To continue the fishing metaphor: Big fish like bigger baits. The best fish like lures. In Hamiltonian terms, this means if you have a gigantic… amount of money, a really slick car, and are a total jerk, you will end up with a wriggling great whopper of a fish-woman, who will fight you viciously and then suffocate. This any help to you? It’s not to me. Stupid 8-Ball. Are fedora-style hats in fashion? Ask again later – when fedoras have taken over the fashion world. Fedoras are so hot right now. In fact, they’re the single coolest thing a human can wear on their head. If campus trends are anything to go by, they are becoming so popular that soon everyone in the world will wear them, and it’ll be like the 50’s. But. The Majickal 8-Ball predicts that after the fedora boom, it will become the fashion to shave your head, paint it black, and draw little white 8’s on it.
I hate all the stupid shows on TV, like “The Biggest Loser,” and “Sensing Murder.” This isn’t a question, but we’ll answer it anyway. Magic 8 Ball says: Without a doubt – of course you hate them. But you’re alone. Everyone else in the country, apparently, loves them. In fact, they’re so popular that TV producers have a plan to combine all the really crap, popular shows into one mega-show, which will be called, “Sensing Biggest Singing Psychic Loser Survivor Anatomy: Murder Bee Factor.” You know what? That actually sounds awesome. Are the “psychics” on Sensing Murder really psychic? Yes – Whoa. They’re so powerful they even control the Magic 8 Ball. But, as students, it is your job to be sceptical. Here’s what to do. Find out where one of the psychics lives. When they emerge from their house, attempt to decapitate them with a replica Lord of the Rings sword. When they calmly duck and tell you “I saw that coming, (whatever your name is)” you may fall down and worship them. Got a question for the Magic 8-ball? Email to nexus@waikato. ac.nz or txt to 021 235 8436 *Gotcha.
eeks
last w
Last week’s exciting competition saw entries flood the Nexus email, to the extent that the entire Internet went down. After a few hours and calls to various world leaders, things came right, and we can now present you with last week’s winner! 1 girl: 34 cups Congratulations, Maria Mo, you sick freak! Come up to the Nexus office to collect your bottle of delicious wine!
Come up with a caption and send it in to nexus@waikato.ac.nz with “caption” in the subject line. OR you can txt your entry to 021 235 8436 – make sure you include your name! If you win, Jesus will personally come to Earth to congratulate you. This “Second Coming,” will spark the Apocalypse, leading to an exciting bloodbath as Christ kills all the heathens and takes His own to be with him (see the book of Revelations in the Bible for details.) Your contribution will be appreciated so much that He’ll appoint you the Governor of the New Earth, where you will rule with an iron fist and your witty captions. Also, you’ll receive a $X Gordon Harris voucher, which is even better. Entries close 5pm Wednesday, March 19. Winners can pick up their prize within a week from the Nexus office, or we’ll damn well drink it ourselves.
ISSUE 02 • 10 MARCH 08
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1. Do you use Wikipedia? 2. Ever used it for an assignment? 3. Has your flat ever been broken into? 4. Do you play any video games? 5. Where’s the best place in town to go?
Editor’s Note: In the interests of Low Five not sucking this week, we have edited some of the answers. Slightly. Watch out – if your answers are not creative, we’ll make them creative for you.
ISSUE 02 • 10 MARCH 08
Nexus Issue 03 17 March 2008
Features 18 The Way of the Wiki Nexus gets wild, wiki-wild, wiki wiki wild wild with Wikipedia, courtesy of everyone’s favourite Vitamin, C
New Stuff
Check out the Big Picture on page 30 the Lectern on page 32 and Soapbox on page 34 – guest columnists with all new, thoughtprovoking comment
News 8 – 14 Head Uni staff go on a fun little jaunt to the humanrights-ignoring desert kingdom of Saudi Arabia, Relay for the people who are still alive, Race relations gets pun-tastic, Big Brother watches computer thieves, Balls to be dodged on campus, Killer robots, the Fuzz tell you about all the wonderful new burglaries, The Nexus Haiku News (with bonus Dr Suess-esque poetry,) The Directorate
Regulars and Randoms 03 Magic 8 Ball 03 Caption Competition 04 Low Five 06 Contents (OH GOD IT’S LIKE A FUNHOUSE MIRROR) 07 Editorial 13 The Nexus Haiku News 14 The Directorate 15 Lettuce 17 Rant of the Week 23 WSU Guff 27 Notices 28 Flash Medallion’s Puzzle Page of Desire 29 Cromie 29 Party Review/Karnage Kolumn 30 The Big Picture 31 ABoganology 101 31 The Nerdary 32 The Lectern 33 Essence of Awesome 33 A River Runs Through It 34 Soap box 34 Sarcophagus Rex 35 Moving Pictures 36 Citric 37 DVD’s 38 Gig Guide 39 Busted
CREDITS Editor: Joshua Drummond (nexus@waikato.ac.nz) Design:Talia Kingi (graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz) Advertising: Tony Arkell (admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz/ 021 176 6180) Assistant to the Editor (Andrew is MY ASSISTANT. He ASSISTS ME): Andrew Neal (news@nexus-npl.co.nz) Music Ed: Carl Watkins (toezee@gmail.com) Books Ed: We still don’t have one yet but please apply if you’re interested (nexus@waikato.ac.nz)
Contributors 8 Ball, AJ, Vitamin C, WSU, Special K, Carl Watkins, Burton C. Bogan, Fergus Hodgson, Nandor “I’ll spell his name right this time, just watch” Tanczos, Joe Citizen, Bevin Yeatman, Jed Laundry, Dr Richard Swainson, Joseph Ross, Josh, Andrew, Talia, Matt, Petra Jane, Mammoth, HCAC, Flash Medallion, Google, Wikipedia, the common cold virus for the feverish inspiration late on Thursday afternoon, and Pink Floyd for playing unexpectedly and making me happy VISIT US ONLINE (once we set the website up) at nexusmag.co.nz AND myspace.com/nexusmagazine
Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) Because we have our reasons. THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, PINK FLOYD, OR EVEN THE COLD VIRUS CURRENTLY INFILTRATING THE EDITOR’S BRAIN
WANT TO ADVERSTISE WIT’ NEXUS? EMAIL nexus@waikato.ac.nz OR admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz OR call 07 838 4653 OR 021 176 6180 NEXUS IS LOCATED AT Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamiltron, City of the Distant Future, the Distant Future, the Year 2000, WE ARE ROBOTS PHONE: 07 838 4653 FAX: 07 838 4588 EMAIL: nexus@waikato.ac.nz POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton This one is dedicated to the wonderful suburb of Frankton, New Zealand’s crud-bucket. “No, Gore is New Zealand’s crud-bucket. Frankton is New Zealand’s crud-hole.”
ome of the more rabid press releases Nexus gets are from these people called SOLO, an acronym for “Sense of Life Objectivists.” Because this name tells you nothing, I’ll explain a little about them. (I’m a little worried that doing this might result in them realising that someone out there, however insignificant in the greater scheme of things, is actually paying attention to them, and they’ll bombard me with even more crap, so I’ll be brief.) As far as I can tell, they are a sort of libertarian lobby group of the extremely crazy persuasion. They have a slavish devotion to the works of one Ayn Rand, who is the author of terrible novels which espoused her philosophy of Objectivism – basically a rip-off of Existentialism with added capitalism. Rand was once asked to define the tenets of her philosophy while (for some reason) standing on one foot. Well, she did, and here they are: 1. Metaphysics: Objective Reality 2. Epistemology: Reason 3. Ethics: Self-interest 4. Politics: Capitalism Cute. Nothing really wrong with the first two, either (not on the face of it, anyway.) Now, let me explain why this whole thing gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies. The attitude of people on the Right side of politics (and this crowd is extremely-far-Right) often seems to be that some kind of political Man is not letting you do all the things that you should be able to do. Like be rich, and not pay taxes. The SOLO crowd (and other libertarian agencies like the Act party and the perennially brilliant Libertarianz, the only political party whose name is also a pun) also seem to believe in the perfectibility of humanity, through the agencies of self-interest and capitalism. There’s a problem here. I’ve met people who believe unfettered capitalism is the best way to a better society. In fact, there are some in Parliament. Ask Rodney Hide, for instance. Then there’s the Libertarianz, a mercifully overlooked political party who are basically Act taken to their logical conclusion – which is madness. They are best known for outstandingly peculiar press releases about, essentially, everything and for applying their “I’m right,” philosophy to most societal conventions, usually beginning with basic spelling and grammar. My approach to these kinds of people is usually to back away slowly; avoiding eye contact, while repeating some kind of soothing mantra. Because this kind of belief is simply deranged. Solve the problems of the world with a system which is actually built on the exploitation of others, not to mention the environment? Brilliant. But not really. Oddly enough, a belief in the perfectibility of human institutions is also one of the rationales behind communism, the practical application of which began with a series of well-meaning political revolutions and ended (more or less) with gulags, the fall of the Iron Curtain, and Team America killing Kim Jong Il.
The easy conclusion to come to is that extreme political philosophies are… misguided. But I think it goes a bit deeper than that, especially with the libertarian crew. There’s a deep sense of anger in every statement they make. Everything they say is being said because they believe The Man is stomping on them. Squishing the little guy. Making regulations. Too many laws, they whine. We shouldn’t have to pay taxes. We shouldn’t have signed up to Kyoto, because climate change is a myth. “I’ve never been so depressed about the prospects of the Individual Productive Man or Woman in New Zealand, so for once, I’m leaving the stench of tactical voting behind in the coming election and voting on principle to try to clear the air. I’m giving my party ticket to Libertarianz,” blithers the latest media release from SOLO. After a while, it begins to take the tone of a little kid going, “Awwww, but MUUUUUM!” when denied access to candy before bedtime. What they don’t realise is their problem is not with the Government, but the people who keep governments elected. The Libertarianz and their ilk will keep missing out, because the electorate isn’t interested in them. A lot of laws, regulations and taxes - the governmental heavyhandedness the Far Right is so fond of bitching about – are passed because they’re asked for by the public, or to prevent idiots from doing stupid things. Most people, for instance, would rather we had a public heath system (flaws and all) so that when they get sick – or just bust their arm snowboarding, as I seem to do every bloody season – they’ll get taken care of, rather than leaving their health to the uncaring whims of a privatised market. Most people would rather we had speed limits on the roads, to help prevent maniacal hoodlums with all the road-sense of Princess Diana’s chauffeur from killing everyone. Most people would agree that regulation of drugs (not, necessarily, criminalisation) is a better solution than the proposed libertarian market free-for-all, which would swiftly see vending machines for heroin and pure methamphetamine on street corners. Most people now recognise Sir Roger Douglas’ “trickledown effect” for the cynical lie that it is. Thankfully, most people don’t vote for the Far Right. Why? Because this is what people think: They can keep their libertarianism to themselves. The word of the week is assignments. Apparently people have begun realising that their academic career requires them to do work sometimes.
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News issue 03
Waikato University in multi-million dollar Saudi deal By Joshua Drummond and Andrew Neal Interview material with Professor Roy Crawford appears courtesy of the New Zealand Herald. A University of Waikato deal with Saudi Arabia could be worth millions of dollars and involve building a new Saudi university. A delegation of at least seven senior University staff, led by Deputy Vice-Chancellor Doug Sutton, is to visit the desert kingdom this month, and will be hosted by King Abdullah ben Abdullaziz Al Saud’s family in the Ha’il region. “[Waikato University is] looking at a partnership to build a university,” said Professor Janis Swan of the deal. Vice-chancellor Roy Crawford told the New Zealand Herald that “a new university was planned and the country is looking for international help to do so.” Waikato had been invited along with other institutions such as prestigious American
universities like Cornell, Berkeley and Stanford as potential partners in the set up, he said. The University will sell intellectual property it owns, detailing how to build an institution. Professor Crawford told the Herald it had the potential to be a multi-million dollar deal. “Oh yes. You’d be talking about large sums. ``Certainly at the moment commercially the Saudis are prepared to invest in order to
Waikato University has been steadily building a relationship with the Gulf state, recently hosting royal emissary Abdul Kareem for eight weeks. Other New Zealand universities are involved in Saudi Arabia, with Otago University sending delegates on a 2002 trip. The oil-rich state of Saudi Arabia is a monarchy ruled by King Abdullah of the House of
achieve what they want to achieve.”
Saud. It has a troubled human rights record, and has been criticized by organisations like Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch and the United Nations over its judicial system (which, infamously, utilises beheadings and amputations) and unequal treatment of women.
The possibility of University involvement in Saudi Arabia was announced at the last meeting of the Academic Board. A previous University delegation visited Saudi Arabia last year to “meet one of the princes.” Other visits have been made to Kazkhstan and St Petersburg in Russia. Matters discussed apparently included “preliminary discussions” of establishing conjoint operations with a new Saudi university.
Relay for the people who are still alive
There are roughly 300 Saudi students attending the University of Waikato, out of a total of around 2000 in New Zealand. 80 of the Saudi students at Waikato are here courtesy of King Abdullah’s scholarship programme, with another 180 studying under different schemes. The king personally funds approximately 25, 000 Saudi students around the world.
“This was a triumph” Andrew Neal
The Relay for Life charity event on Sunday March 9 saw the WSU President, MP David Bennett, University staff and even SJS participate. The twenty hour relay event, held at Claudelands Show Grounds saw many colourful characters walk for hours to raise funds for the Cancer Society. ULeisure General Manager Mark Ingle created a team of fifteen staff in 80s themed sports gear and WSU President Moira Neho jumped on board with Hamilton East MP David Bennett’s team to complete the event. “It was a great time, fantastic cause, we received really good sponsorship and raised somewhere between thirteen to fourteen hundred dollars,” Ingle explained.
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There was plenty of fun to be had at the event with poetry readers, a hangman competition, fun themes and even challenges according to Neho. Ingle and the ULeisure team held warm up stretches and aerobics classes during the event as part of their sponsorship. A more sombre attraction at the Relay was a line of candle lights that represented individual cancer sufferers, “It was a reminder of the cause, in between all the costumes and fun,” reflects Ingle. Inside the track, which took up a large part of the Show Grounds area, was a tent city where people ate, slept in awkward places and found ways to keep themselves awake throughout the night.
March 17 2008
Mystery magazines mystify Headline writer fired Andrew Neal
A “miscommunication” during OWeek led to thousands of mysterious magazines being unexpectedly delivered to the WSU building. The ‘Frankie’ magazines, which date from 2004 and 2005 were delivered in a box and their arrival confused students, WSU staff and directors alike. After some investigation, it was discovered that the magazines were accidentally ordered during OWeek by WSU director Ben Delaney. A call came at a busy time and Delaney agree to taking free magazines over the phone and then put it out of his mind until after they turned up. “I told the woman on the phone that we had 13, 000 students, and she replied ‘That’s a lot,’” Delaney recalls. “She did NOT say ‘I will send you 13, 000 magazines,” he says. It is still uncertain who actually rang the WSU in the first place. Nexus contacted Frankie in an effort to find out, saying:
“Right now I’m trying to figure out why we’ve got thousands of Frankie magazines – from March 2005 – sitting in our foyer. Apparently some chick rang up and told the Waikato Students Union guy on reception something like “Hello, we have some magazines here. Would you like some?” He unwittingly said yes, and now we have an entire pallet of magazines we’re not quite sure what to do with. We could give them out, but people are starting to ask why we’ve got them, and it seems no-one here has any idea why. Could you shed some light on it? I’m confused, and a little frightened.” On Thursday, Frankie editor Jo Walker replied: “I too am a little confused. Have forwarded your email to anyone at Morrison Media who may possibly have an explanation. I know we sent some out to design faculties as part of their O Week celebrations, so my only idea is somehow it may have got a little lost on the way? Hopefully will get back to you with a proper answer soon!” Frankie is a popular fashion magazine for Australian women, but has a roughly 25 percent male readership. Thousands of magazines are free to pick up from the WSU building. The mystery continues.
Commonwealth medals stolen It’s a trend, apparently Andrew Neal
Waikato University management student Laura Langman had her Commonwealth Gold Medal stolen from her home during February. It is believed that her commonwealth medal as well as her world championship silver medal, also stolen, was not the main goal of the thieves.
20 thefts occurred two weeks ago in Hamilton East, 80 percent of which occurred during the day. Both Police and Langman hope for a safe return of the medals. It is a concern that they may be dumped due to their high profile.
David Bennett MP
Police say there have been no major developments in the case so far stating “there have been people interviewed, but no arrests made” “There was an abundance of items stolen including jewellery, sports gear and her flatmate’s laptop computer. We believe the medals were stolen by people who may have very little knowledge of what they have taken.” Senior Sergeant Tim Anderson told NZPA. The theft coincides with a spate of break-ins in the Hamilton area where many thieves are just “smashing in properties,” according to Community Constable Nick Sickelmore.
M P f o r h aM i l t o n east
Phone: 07 834 3407 Email: davidbennett@xtra.co.nz www.davidbennett.co.nz
www.national.org.nz ISSUE 02 • 10 MARCH 08
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News issue 03
Balls to be Dodged on campus WSU sued by Ben Stiller Andrew Neal
“Pick up your balls and come register,” is the battle-cry of Dodgeball organiser and WSU Director Andrew “AJ” James.
Foam balls will be the weapon of choice for the dodgeballers, who will be encased in a barrier provided by Hirequip.
The Dodgeball tournament is a fundraiser for the University of Waikato Uni Games team and will see twelve teams battle it out between 12 and 2 pm at the Village Green on Wednesday the 26 of March
The WSU will provide spectators with free sausages and a PA system pumping music all afternoon.
Sponsors Student Rent and Liquor King will be providing the prizes for the six-person teams that make it through the semis into the final.
Entrance is open to all students with a $30 fee and all participating teams of six must provide two females. All proceeds go directly to the University’s Uni Games team.
A grandstand made out of pallets will give spectators a viewing platform for the proposed melee on the 24 x 42 foot court. The grandstands are also BYO couch. Really.
Sponsor Student Rent is a new website that allows students to find flatmates and housing all over New Zealand and also showcases events on many campuses. It can be found at studentrent.co.nz.
“Hopefully it will be quite big,” AJ said. “We’re getting quite a few signups already.”
Golden Key society “unlocking” talent Guy who was supposed to fire the headline writer fired Andrew Neal
Golden Key Honour Society is doing a membership drive for the University of Waikato’s best and brightest. Golden Key is a world wide collegiate honour society that is invitation only and offers a range of opportunities for both study and career. Invitations are being given to the top 15% of University students and they say their goal is to help members reach their full potential. They are non profit and give away around $400,000 worth of scholarships each year. 10
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Membership in Golden Key lasts a lifetime and opens up opportunities in all areas including; academic recognition, career assistance, publications, leadership positions, community service activities and alumni opportunities. Last year the Waikato Chapter were involved in community events such as Daffodil Day, Comedy night at ‘The Cook’ (raising money for Hospice) and tree plantings at Hamilton’s native bush reserves.
March 17 2008
FASS’tival for race relations Awful pun causes hemorrhages, racism Andrew Neal
The Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences will join many others throughout New Zealand in celebrating and acknowledging Race Relations Day 2008. FASS will hold its second annual International Food FASS’tival during cultural hour on March 19, where students and staff of the Faculty will be able to dabble in a range of ethnic foods and enjoy a number of cultural performances. “The Faculty has a vibrant, multicultural environment reflecting the diverse nationalities and cultures represented by our students and staff,” say FASS representatives. The International Food FASS’tival is intended to allow staff and students “time to reflect on our diversity and support harmonious race relations.” Last year’s Race Relations Day saw many students turn up for free food and the Wai Taiko drummers rattling computers in S Block.
Computer tracing software developed at the University of Waikato has seen success with the return of two computers in recent weeks. The software has been used to track a computer to within 100m of its location and also take photographs of the new “owner”. “The software just takes advantage of what the computer already has,” says Steve Leichtweis, the IT manager at the School of Education. By using the computer’s IP “fingerprint”, once connected to the internet the computer can then be traced. In the first successful case of the software being used, the computer was using an open wireless access point, so computer staff were able to track it remotely and instructed it to take photos - showing the user in what appeared to be an apartment or dormitory. The second return of a computer was due to the publicity of the software, which has
Dean of FASS, Prof. Dan Zirker spoke at the 2007 FASS’tival events, giving a moving presentation and making a good attempt at Te Reo. Each year March 21 is observed around the globe as the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination. March 21 recalls the tragic loss of life at Sharpeville in South Africa in 1960. It is dedicated by the United Nations to the achievement of the goals of the Convention for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination. New Zealand signed the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination on 25 October 1966 and ratified it on 22 November 1972. Many communities throughout the country including community groups, councils, schools, workplaces, marae, and places of worship will hold festivals in the lead up to Race Relations Day. For a full list of events or for more information on Race Relations Day, please visit the Human Rights Commission’s website at www.hrc.co.nz/home/hrc/introduction/racerelationsday2008/
received a spotlight in publications all over New Zealand and the world. “This technology isn’t necessarily new – it’s been kicked around since 2001,” said Leichtweis. “It’s now being taken to the next level with wireless tracking and webcam photographs.” Laptops have been a hot item for theft in Hamilton recently as students come back to University. Laptops are light and easy to take, says Leichtweis, and police agree. “When thieves are looking at properties, a laptop in the open is a reason to break in,” says Community (and Campus) Constable Nick Sickelmore. Computers: Addictive Leichtweis claims a lot of small items such as laptops are being stolen and sold to aid drug use.
“The average laptop is equivalent to around two to three grams of P, and it’s disturbing to think that your laptop is fuelling someone’s drug habit” says Leichtweis. Leichtweis says it was hoped the software, which would be made available, free, to primary and secondary schools, would be a deterrent to thieves who often treated schools as “supermarkets.” Initially the software would be for Apple computers only, he said. “Because not all PC laptops are the same (unlike Apple computers) we would have to program for all these extra differences - resulting in more time required to achieve a similar program.” The University’s software is not the first of its kind with one thief in Vancouver, Canada being so paranoid about his image, taken remotely by the computer, being spread all over the internet through a viral email he turned himself in.
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News issue 03
Student debt on the rise, sky blue, grass green By Rory MacKinnon – In Unison
New figures from Statistics New Zealand continue to report increasing levels of student debt, while national student bodies blame the borrowing on a “deeply flawed and discriminatory” student allowance scheme.
in enrolments. The report also noted a 5% increase in the total number of students receiving an allowance, which Tertiary Education Minister Pete Hodgson describes as “a lot of change” in light of 5% threshold increases in 2007.
The report released late last month documented trends in student borrowing in 2006, during which the Labour government introduced its interest-free loan policy and
However, the report also notes that despite changes to the student allowance scheme, nearly half of all borrowers in 2006 were still
increased income thresholds for student allowances.
taking on debt in order to meet living costs, at an average of $3,900 per student.
Amongst the report’s findings was a 7% increase in the number of new borrowers, the highest in six years despite a 3% drop
Liz Hawes, co-president of the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations, says the
report shows the allowance scheme still isn’t meeting students’ needs. “The fact that the biggest proportion of borrowers dependent on debt was aged 20-25 years clearly shows that means-testing students on parental income until the age of 25 to determine allowance eligibility is deeply flawed and discriminatory.” “With this policy Labour is saying families can and will support their children until the age of 25. Students and their parents know this simply isn’t possible – low incomes, high cost of living and extra expectations such as Kiwisaver leave many families with nothing at the end of the week”, she said - ASPA
Killer robots: coming to a campus near you? By Matthew Backhouse
A British robotics expert says that killer robots may become the weapon of choice for militants and terrorists in the near future. Noel Sharkey, a University of Sheffield Professor of artificial intelligence and robotics, says the 4,000 military robots already deployed in Iraq would be relatively simple to reverse-engineer. “Once the new weapons are out there, they will be fairly easy to copy,” he said at a conference last week. “How long is it going to be before the terrorists get in on the act?”
Association of University
Sharkey says the low cost of components, many of which are already available on the amateur robotics market, makes autonomous deathbots a viable terrorist tool. Students who are fearful of killer robots are advised to join Humans United Against Robots (HUAR), a non-profit organisation which aims “to educate and awaken the citizenry of the world to the impending attack that computers and robots will put into effect against humans.” HUAR advises concerned citizens that an understanding of robotics is not necessary – “just how to take them apart.” Screwdrivers, wire cutters and water pistols should be carried at all times. More information is available at www.humansunitedagainstrobots.com
Staff welcomes PBRF review By Alan Pearce
The Association of University Staff (AUS) says it welcomes an independent review of the Performance-Based Research Fund (PBRF), which commenced on February 11 this year. The PBRF is a tertiary sector funding model administered by the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) which “rewards and encourages research excellence in tertiary education organisations.” Funding decisions 12
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are based on appraisals of individual researchers. But AUS National President, Associate Professor Maureen Montgomery, says “current assessment and reporting models used for the PBRF are inappropriate, and the improper use of individual PBRF ratings in staff performance appraisals … creates anger and disillusionment among academic staff.”
The government requires the PBRF to be reviewed periodically to ensure that it is working correctly and to understand the effects and consequences of the funding model. The current review is being undertaken by Dr Jonathan Adams of UK-based Evidence Ltd, a company which specialises in “analysing research performance tailored to individual client requirements.”
March 17 2008
East Hamilton Police Burglary Report 3rd March - 10th March 2008 Over the past week 21 homes have been broken into in East Hamilton, their locations are indicated on the above map
Please don’t leave items out in plain view at home, so burglars have a reason to break-in.
Community Constable Nick Sickelmore said the most common method of entry into victims’ homes have included offenders smashing open front or side doors or opening and climbing through unlocked bedroom or bathroom windows.
“To deter burglars you need to make your home appear too hard to get into, lock doors and windows even when going out for only five minutes and don’t leave keys under mats or pot plants,” he said.
The most commonly stolen items of property have been laptops computers, digital cameras, cash, iPods and jewellery, but even clothes and food have been taken. “What the burglars are looking for are any items that can be easily picked up and taken and that are attractive enough to be able to on-sell.
Haiku News Property prices falling - latest figures Prices are falling – what fun! Boys and girls, here comes The next Depression! Skills shortage the big worry for businesses They should recruit here
Information on how to protect your home is available from the East Hamilton Community Policing Centre on Clyde St. If you have any information that might help Police with these burglaries please call the University Constable, Nick Sickelmore Nicholas. Sickelmore@police.govt.nz PH:07 856 0291
We’re not short on skills This is about drinking, right?
Victim rams muggers’ getaway car (Story:Guy is mugged. He proceeds to chase
Food prices up yet again in February For one good reason food Is getting pricey-er See the first Haiku Keisha: I want to be PM Keisha: Living the dream First Prime Minister To be a pregnant teen
attackers in his car and smashes up their getaway Subaru. Legend!)
Expecting easy prey Muggers got rammed good And did not get away.
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News
March 17 2008
issue 03
The Directorate A quiet pre-meeting buzz of conversation pervaded the first WSU Director’s meeting of the year. Nexus was not early, but half the directorate was (slightly) late, which amounts to pretty much the same thing. The meeting was held in a subterranean room Nexus had never been in before. We’re pretty sure it’s a bomb shelter. The Campus Constable, Nick Sicklemore, was present, presumably to make sure the Exec did not rise up as lions and savage each other. The first meeting of the year began in a blaze of no excitement at all. The apologies and minutes were accepted without comment. It turned
will wear the official Directors t-shirts on Wednesdays. At this point Jeff Hawks appeared, looking forlorn. He dutifully abstained from voting whether to accept the Prez report. Nexus was asked not to note something. We can’t tell you what it is, but we assure you it’s not important. At this point, Jeff asked a question about clubs so damn quietly Nexus could hardly hear him. We suspect he had a big weekend.
out today is Moira’s verbal report day! Hooray! First to speak was the resident cop, who has a security initiative. “Ultra-violet pens,” are to be kept on campus, enabling students to invisibly mark their stuff and identify it in the (reasonably probable) event of it being nicked. Nexus initially misheard “ultra violet,” as “ultra-violent,” sparking fantasies of murderous stationary. The Police are also planning an open day for “all the students to come down to the WSU building and get arrested do stuff.
Rockwall, which Nexus suspects was a conspiracy to remove Nexus’ ability to type things. It was questioned whether the Ticketmaster worth persevering with. Apparently it is, as the WSU is now the only Ticketmaster outlet in Hamilton, now that Chiefs sales have switched to Ticketek. Apparently students can come in and get free jandals if they already have tickets to. Uselessly, they are super-sized.
“Can we do stuff to AJ? Like, taser him?” suggested Whetu, to general humour. AJ looked keen. “Off the record,” murmured everyone, glancing at Nexus. More crime stuff followed: Laptops are going missing at a record rate. WSU wants to open up a “laptop check;” like a coat check, but for laptops. Nexus was a little scared by all the good ideas floating about at this point. Nick offers the news that there were 20 burglaries last week in Hamilton East – 80% of which occurred during the day. The Constable may end up sharing an office with the Citizens Advice Bureau. Also, Nick pointed out helpfully, if bafflingly, that he is not a girl. NZUSA news came up. The NZUSA teleconferences are open for the rest of the exec to listen in. Goody. “No snoring,” said Whetu, today’s resident comedian. Venezualan diplomat cometh! Apparently he will talk about his involvement in Venezuelan politics, which will hopefully include vivid descriptions of cocaine use and what it is like to shoot someone. Apparently he started as student activist – the implication being that you, too, can participate in an armed coup! The visit will open a pathway to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez coming over, which should be interesting. In other news, AJ’s pet Dodgeball event has been moved to the 26th. Moira was visited by someone called Raewyn. They talked of agreeing upon a “uni/WSU engagement policy.” Apparently the Uni doesn’t have to be nice to the WSU, but it is anyway. The WSU wants it so the Uni has to be nice, all the time. The meeting took a darker turn as it arose that the Directors were to be sold into fashion slavery. “If everyone is cool with it” the Directors 14
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WSU Manager David West spoke of Clubs Day. Praise was given to the
David talked for a moment about Nexus. Ooh. Nexus got the clap. Andrew Neal is the new “assistant to the Editor,” whatever that means, and apparently he is working well. Talia is already producing outstanding work. Great hopes for the year ahead. And so on. Jeff Hawks, emerging from stupor and feeling a sudden urge to state the blithering obvious, said the V8 supercars event was going to be a “big weekend” which the WSU should do stuff for. And Balloons over Waikato will be on campus on 12 April. Zeppelins! Nexus dreamed of great armoured zeppelins warring in the Waikato skies. This happy post-steampunk zeppelin battle fantasy meant we missed the next several minutes of the meeting. AJ suggested something, but it was boring. But, in true AJ fashion, it quickly turned to laughter. Nexus missed it again, back with the zeppelins. Then came a terrifying cacophony from the room next door, jarring Nexus out of its reverie. Screams mingled with loud thumps and the diabolical whirr of ancient machinery. It was an air-hockey table. Nexus was challenged by AJ to an air-hockey match, and the results of this will be published in the next edition. Then the meeting moved on to General Business. This bit dragged, given as it was mostly about folder management on the WSU computers. Typically, this riveted the Directors, and Nexus lost track of time. Nexus snapped back to attention when the ever-chipper Campus Constable chipped in that, much like the Lord’s name, the WSU and Nexus may not use the Police logo in vain. This made Nexus sad, as we were planning to use a giant police logo as the cover image this week. And on that bombshell, the meeting moved into committee of the whole and Nexus left.
Txts to the Editor! Nexus now has an all-new TXT-in service! Send Letters to the Editor - via text - to 021 235 8436. They can be about anything – but if it’s something in the magazine, so much the better. We’ll print the best ones, so get texting! There’s a prize for text of the week as well. We don’t know what it is yet, but it will be awesome. Don’t forget: You can send Busted pictures in by pxt! Send us your best snaps of you or your mates in Busted-type situations to 021 235 8436. Do it.
LETTERS POLICY: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be kept under 250 words and be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication. We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be) but if it’s a serious letter we’d prefer you to use your real name. Send letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz
Letter of the Week: Time Kills on Campus Dear Ed, 11.54am L-Block, 1.23pm ELT, 2.45pm S-Block, 9.18pm FASS reception, and so the list goes on. All interesting reading, considering the actual time at the present moment is 9.00am. I have not heard any planes soring overhead, so I assume the university did not become an international airport over the semester break, summer school, or the first few weeks of ‘A Semester’. The clocks therefore, are not carefully synchronised to foreign time zones. Flashing back to high-school physics, I remember a self indulgent spiel my teacher
had regarding space-time disruption, mass and gravity. Apparently, a dense mass does indeed slow the passing of time. According to this theory then, Management and Computer Science appear to be areas of extremely high density; a happy coincidence, or something more… The mantle of slowest individuals on campus however belongs firmly to the folks at FMD and ITS. Those responsible for complex building stratergy and technological manifestations respectively. Ironically between the two, the capacity to remove a clock from the wall, and fit it with a new battery appears non-existent. Kudos must however be given for the brillantly radiant digital clocks inside the lecture theatres. The ambiance one clock produces is similar to Las Vegas. One glance, and I am stuck in
two minds – deal out a hand of blackjack, or partially strip and gyrate myself against the nearest poll-like structure. It has certainly made lectures more entertaining. Whatever numbers are stuck on the clock face nearest you, hasn’t the time come for someone to sort all this shit out? -Grumpy old codger Congratulations, Codger! Despite spelling “strategy” the George Bush way and us not having the faintest idea what you’re on about, you’ve received Letter of the Week! Come up to the Nexus office to get your Bennett’s voucher.
The Good Stuff
Special K Responds:
Hey I was reading the nexus this week and read the Special K article about genuine french absinthe. I just wanted to know where abouts you get it from? A group of mates and I tried to find where to buy it from but had no luck and couldnt even find the road it was on. Was hoping you could email us back some directions and where a bouts to buy this absinthe. Thanks, Karl B
Directions you say. I will give them with my eyes closed (and spell check open). Go to the roundabout on Cambridge Rd, with Burger King and New World next to it. Follow the road out of Hamilton (towards the City of Trees and Champions) and just before the road gets all rustic, turns left and down a hill, there will be Riveriea Rd on your right. The shop is about 2 minutes down that road. As a quick tip, the staff are all French and will frown heavily if you don’t wear shoes (I know from experience ..true story).
THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A $20 BOOK VOUCHER FROM BENNETTS WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP!
PH 07 856 6813
FAX 07 856 2255
ADDRESS Gate 5 Hillcrest Road
WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP
EMAIL wku@bennetts.co.nz ISSUE 02 • 10 MARCH 08
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students). Something we know, like, or will like. First years: Pussies? this batch of first years are pussies i would like to throw down the gauntlet as the collective voice of all 3rd and 2nd years that the first years are hot, but very very weak when it comes to drinking and going out. last thursday i was expecting to see the d floor which i own every single night packed with eager peeps wanting to krump and grind the shit out of all the hotties when apple bottom jeans comes on but all i saw was the chosen few who religously turn up each week to have a good time! dont they realise you dont need to study in 1st year? FIRST YEARS MAN UP! YOUR AWAY FROM YOUR PARENTS NOW GO NUTS!
Spot the moron hey Ed, attached is a photo of someones parking at gate 10, lol. thought id share the funny. any way hope it gets in the next nexus. xoxoxo P.S. pleae do not put my last name in the nexus as the source. Thank you. Some Guy
RSR for life signed, D-hon We’ve created a monster: The Imminent Demise of the “Rocktastic” Student Flat OR How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Drugs Backv Team, We are in the shit about this one and I personally am not sure how we will tidy up the stench. The property developers have latched to the hilt of their fangs on the single most comfortable, lucious, bountiful, and rocktastic student flat remaining in this place yous call the ‘tron.’ This flat sits gallantly on top of the hill over the road from the chem. block or something of uni and boasts rightiously Hamilton’s largest cactus, a pumping vege garden, gigantic orchard, wicked views of the stars (choice angles for catapulting various gear into the valleys below as per the norm), even sea views!!! (psyilocybe dependant) and other things I will not mention for they are a surprise. It’s been around for longer than anyone really knows but more money can be made for the owner by heartlessly squeezing 30 people into a space made for six tops, barring an orgy. Well the address is 110 Hillcrest rd. At the moment, there are enough grapes on the premesis to keep the rivers of wine flowing until we leave Hamilton forever because there are too many bloody people. Kind Regards, Brian P. Walsh 16
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Hi can you please put this in the next NEXUS please. Hi, i’m a 21 year old looking for a woman who knows how to be herself in the bedroom, and doesn’t mind trying new things. must 6.5 plus and successful applicants can bring their friends too. possibility of obtaining best “O” ever very likely. If interested please call or txt Andy mac on 0273131855. Thats it up there in the middle. please put it in as it is also a experiment as well. and im sure that you dont want to get in the way of science. If you want to know more about the experiment give me a call. Andy mac Oh God. It begins. HOW to make Students CUM! How Cum 08 oweek so shit… In short, the bands were shit, and they appeal to a small number of bogan people grasping at the threads of a dying genre. This was reflected by the turnout – even when the concert was free... I’m no Kernel Sanders, but I will share with you my recipe for a FuCkN AWESOME turnout! • Good bands; that play good music, that is relative to your target audience (us, the
• Make the Concert affordable, give shelter/ seating – for comfort of the ladies who don’t want to stand in the wind the whole time • LET IT BE BYO!!! – Noone wants to pay $4-5 for a Can that Waikato and Tui probably GAVE to you thieving gypsies to GIVE to US! :@ • GIVEAWAYS! (Students love free stuff) free tshirts? Contest to get refund on ticket? Bring in bands that everyone will be AMPED to see – enough to part with their drinking money. Lets think available, lets think affordable. What about – Tiki Tane, Shihad, ShapeShifter, Katchafire, Concord Dawn, Scribe, Pmoney, DJ SirVere, The feelers, Goodnight Nurse, The Black Seeds, CornerStone Roots, the list goes on. Better venue? Not by that fuckn gay lake. What about where they hold that hot air balloon festival thing? Hold the concert at the BEGINNING of the fuckn week, when people HAVE and are WILLING to spend money – NOT THE END!!! Lol. And you wonder why noone buys tickets– cause its all bee pissed/spewed up against a wall down an alleyway behind the Outback :S Students will pay for quality (although, they wont pay much – as most students never have much – cept when it comes time to buy piss – Eh Guys!) Promise some sweet free goods, limit the time/supply – and students will show up with HIGH HOPES – once they are there, have a setup that coaxes them to stay!! Like? A good band? Hot dancer girl.s, BYO. Get your shit together! Cause im SICK of reading about how SHIT you all are at your jobs. Peace and Fucking YeH StD Congratulations on your luminous insight and mastery of the CAPS LOCK key, Sexually Transmitted Disease. The WSU will probably hire you as their new Event Manager. Before you, who knew that Supergroove were a shit band who “appeal to a small number of bogan people grasping at the threads of a dying genre?” FYI, Katchafire, The Black Seeds, and a lot of the other bands you mentioned have played at previous Orientations, albeit without “Hot dancer girl.s” “That hot air balloon festival thing,” by the way, is held on the playing fields. Which are next to the gay lakes. I like that point, by the way. I’m not sure how lakes can be homosexual, but given that there’s so much crap in them thatvvvvvvvvvv they’re probably self-aware by now, it’s certainly possible - Ed
Text of the Week: People are walking wrong My dearest nexus, campus needs a walking rule: Keep left! Oh and don’t cluster in busy walk ways talking to your friends! Love emma xo
So that’s why there’s been so many “robberies” lately I heard a robber broke into ur house and gave you 2 choices, suck his dick or give him your phone. I see you still have ur phone… Hmmm… intresting.
Damn straight, Emma. That’s such a good point we’re giving you a prize. Nip up to the Nexus offices (with your phone, so we can confirm it’s you) and we’ll give you… whatever it is. Probably a voucher for something.
Ed replies: You heard right. The suck turned into more of a bite, though. So we got to keep our phone, and the robber now has the world’s most interesting ACC form.
Why are things popular? Why are people reading the photo page when they could be reading other stuff. Wordfinds r 4 idiots! I see you in lectures and I think, idiots. Why is Nexus popular? Hi nexus u guys r awesum. i like da busted pg cos it has pics of my mates evry week. Hi shelly! Your a slut!!! Lol frm MnGmNT cHIk
Rant of the Week Got a shining example of journalistic brilliance that desperately needs to be shared with the world? Sick of the lack of air in your mother’s basement? Or do you just feel the need to yell in public? Send it in to Nexus at nexus@waikato. ac.nz and we might just publish it as the Rant of the Week! This week’s rant is by the Periscope Collective Be prepared Hamilton for the menace of motorsport, the much hyped but little thought about V8 supercar extravaganza that will pimp out our fair little town to vast hordes of tourists. We will all become immersed in the cacophonous pollution of infrastructure overload, to the benefit of café owners and other small businesses, funded by artificially high rates and rents. Should we once again believe the PR lies that promised us community access to the stadium (permanently booked for rugby engagements ad nauseum) or the value added worth of a casino that funnels profits offshore and leaves behind nothing but broken homes and gambling addicts?
Surrounded as we are by dairy farms, has it not occurred to anyone that we are being milked? Once again it is those who can least afford it who will ultimately fund the playtime of the rich in their pursuit of further wealth – all for some vain hope that a little of the reflected glory will trickle down into the pockets of minimally waged service industry workers. It might be all fun and games for the road and aggregate suppliers (have you seen the price of hardcore gravel recently?), who not only get to build roads now in preparation of the event, but will have to repair them after the multimillion machines have ripped them to shreds. Shame on the Green party who sold out for measly free bus tickets around town. In the meantime, we who use the roads will not only have to endure more road works, but watch helplessly as thousands of marauding hordes destroy historical Hamilton under their uncaring feet. We voices from the gully wait with all the anticipation of an earplug supplier about to make a fortune from a market’s suddenly acquired awareness. Too late we will celebrate the crowds, the crime, the noise, and the craziness of being drawn on someone else’s map, reduced to straw people by the pull of the marketing machine. God bless the council and big business, for prostituting our fair town in the name of an event based consumer frenzy. See the rest of you at the beach.
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What’s going on? If you haven’t heard of www.wikipedia.org, you need to get the intertubes installed under your rock. In fact, you probably need to get television, radio and a newspaper too, because Wikipedia is pretty big stuff. Not just in itself, but in the effect it’s had on nearly everything over the last couple of years. Here’s the rundown anyway, for the sake of completeness: First and foremost, it’s a website. You will find it on the internet. It claims to be an encyclopaedia; a repository of knowledge. Wikipedia was launched on January 15, 2001. It now ranks among the top ten most daily visited sites worldwide. If you ever brushed past a copy of Time magazine with a shiny cover on it in 2006, then you missed the chance to see yourself as Person of the Year. Time decided that all of the people everywhere were people of the year, citing the success of Wikipedia, along with Youtube and MySpace and so on. So why is it groundbreaking? The deal is that (on the face of it) anybody can edit Wikipedia. Any single person can – anonymously – go to any topic at all and change what is written there, or create a new topic and put text and pictures there. If you’ve ever seen a public toilet wall before,
you might get an idea of how big this thing must be. My toilet wall is pretty clean though. That’s because you have a (limited) degree of control over it. I can’t help you with your explosive flatulence (next week’s Essence of Awesome probably can), however I can make a full feature metaphor about writing on toilet walls. If anyone writes “Holdens are for gays and homos” on your wall, chances are you are going to clean it off, and make sure they never come back to your house, right? (Unless you’re a Ford fan, I guess.) What a lot of people who use Wikipedia don’t really notice is the behind the scenes work that goes into a Wikipedia page. Most pages have a group of registered users who are interested in the topic that the page covers. They research the information that goes on the page, and set it all out nicely with some pictures and explanations, and keep an eye on the page because, just like your toilet wall, anyone in your house can write whatever they want on it. The general theory, which has demonstrated itself rather nicely with Wikipedia, is that the people who are maintaining something will be more dedicated
The deal is that anybody can edit Wikipedia. Any single person can – anonymously – go to any topic at all and change what is written there, or create a new topic and put text and pictures there. 18
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continued... that the people who want to trash it just for kicks. To stick with the toilet wall analogy, the main contributors to a page have certain rules and tools that they can use to help maintain things, for example if someone kept writing bullshit all over your wall, you would probably stop letting them into your house. The Wikipedia software (known as Wiki) allows users or I.P. addresses to be restricted or blocked if they are repeatedly observed to be vandalizing the page.
is that at any given time, you could be reading a Wikipedia page that has been vandalized. Chances are you will notice the obvious vandalism; for example if the article on Holden reads “Holden, officially GM Holden Ltd, is an Australian automaker based in Port Melbourne, Victoria. The company was originally independent but since 1931 has been for gays and homos.” then you should probably take that information with a grain of salt. This
Rules and tools? I heard that this was a free-for-all. Nearly. It would be fair to say that a complete free-for-all would end up in a victory for the kind of people who like to piss outside the bowl, so to speak. There is an element of security in the Wiki software, designed to keep the odds on the side of order. Most wikis (there are lots of them, Wikipedia is just the most well-known) employ what is known as soft security, which is a system that makes damage easy to undo rather than prevent damage altogether. You probably won’t have heard of this before, because it is extremely difficult to create such a system in real life. What this means for the person doing research
leads us to the major criticism of the Wikipedia system: There’s no way of knowing if somebody is yanking your crank. The criticism is often phrased a little differently, but that’s the crux of it. Let’s explore this a little further, with the help of my delightful section-heading dialogue format. So why not make rules against everyone crapping everywhere? As mentioned earlier, to a lot of people it seemed like Wikipedia sprang up overnight. Once word got out, it started growing
extremely fast. This growth is the major balancing factor against more restrictive security. Basically, the more restricted (and reliable) a wiki is, the slower it grows. Citizendium is a project that started as a fork of Wikipedia that eventually went off on its own. Citizendium, in contrast to Wikipedia, focuses on credibility and quality, as opposed to quantity. The articles are very carefully assembled by contributors, with attention to verifiability, and are overseen and eventually ratified by experts in a relevant field. While anonymous internet users can edit Wikipedia, Citizendium users are required to register an account with their real name and a profile. As a result, there are currently only about 5500 articles on the site. Wikipedia is more aimed at growth and widespread knowledge accumulation, and as such there are relaxed regulations on contributors. Note well that these “relaxed” standards apply to the contributors, NOT to the content itself. Slow down, hot-shot. I thought you said ANYTHING could go in there. Anything that can be verified. You didn’t think you could just put down any old thing that came to mind, did you? There has to be some
external source that is moderately easy to check that provides this information. Ever read through a Wikipedia page and seen those little numbers at the end of sentences?[1] They are there for a reason. Those are the things that you forget to put in your reports, which makes you fail your papers, which means you have to spend a little extra one-on-one time with your psychology lecturer, if you get the gist of my fist. They are references. If you click the little number, you’ll be sent on an adrenaline-packed journey to the bottom of the page where there will be a big list of tiny ant-text that tells you where each tit-bit of information came from. More often than not, this will be a website. Wikipedia has a few rules and guidelines about what counts as a good reference, which leans towards well-reputed websites, peer-reviewed journals, and published papers. The guidelines lean away from forums, Geocities websites (do they still exist?) and your cousin’s home-made Dragonball/Harry Potter crossover fan fiction Youtube videos. The previously mentioned people who watch over their pages will spend days and days arguing and making sure that a reference is legit according to the rules of Wikipedia, so you don’t normally have to worry too much about it, but if the article is about a current event, or a controversial or contentious issue, it might be worth checking
things out a little further. Go to the links, make sure they match up with what’s written – remember, you never know if you’ve viewed the page the exact second after someone has deleted a fact they didn’t like, doubled a few numbers, or otherwise enhanced the truth. Hell, someone might have just read the reference wrong. If you have loins of steel
and the patience of a butcher trapped in a bus full of Frenchmen you could even check the discussion page. The discussion page is where the people who have deemed themselves an authority on banana-type Pokemon or whatever it is they’re into (They were person of the year, after all) talk to each other about how the page should look. And by talk, I mean bitch incessantly about proper Wikipedia technicalities and decorum. Seriously. People have huge wars over formatting, image use, fan speculation, and Wikipedia policy on being
nice to each other, including things like – I shit you not – “Don’t be a dick” and “No angry Mastodons” (The no mastodons policy even has tips about not drinking too much while arguing). The good news, for most of us, is that the most embittered arguments seem to occur over references, and making sure that the pages are factual. It really needs to be noted that there is a strong desire amongst the community to achieve credibility, so don’t go writing the whole thing off just because it can get ugly behind the scenes. The end product can still be enjoyed, kind of like salami. With regards to navigating all this secret, forbidden knowledge, every Wikipedia page has tabs along the top allowing you to view the article, any discussion of the article, the code for the article (this is where you change things) or the history of the article. This kind of thing has a history? Just like you and your ugly duckling cousin that you didn’t recognize at the family Christmas Do when you were 16, Wikipedia pages have a history that nobody talks about. Every state that every page has been in is archived. What this means is that you can go back and look at a page before a big change was made, for instance if you wanted to see what Wikipedia
[1] Down here is where you’ll find the real source of the information. Not in this case, though. You have, however, found an interesting game. If you read all the little headings in this article, they make up one hilarious side to a dialogue. Come up with the other side of the dialogue and send it in to nexus@waikato.ac.nz, and the best entry wins dinner and/or drinks with Flash Medallion from the puzzle page.
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continued... said about someone before they died, you could look for a version before your favourite wrestler murdered his family and see if the page was written a little differently. You might even discover that he wasn’t even that much of a badass before said incident. While reading the article is a great overview of a subject, if you are trying to make halfway thorough investigation and you have chosen Wikipedia as your first port of call, you really need to check the discussion page to get idea of what kind of shape the page is in, and how approved the references are. One big thing to remember is that Wikipedia is ruled by consensus, not expertise.
the reference is a post from the loony who haunted the Nexus forums last year, then disregard. If the pages don’t seem too great themselves, check the discussion page; there might be some fisticuffs going on that you need to know about. Perhaps there are two contradicting sources that the page is switching between, maybe there is another source of great information that suits your needs but doesn’t make the cut for Wikipedia. You’ll find these on the discussion page, hidden amongst the most polite “Yo mama” argument you’ll ever read.
Okay, that’s enough fluff. Just tell me how to really use this thing.
After all of that background, the advice for using Wikipedia makes for some pretty good advice for life in general. Assumption makes an ass out of you and umption. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. However you want me to put it, Wikipedia has the potential to be of great use for people
To get an internet full of nerds to do your homework for you, search for the page you want. Once you have it, find the information you want. Follow the little numbers to the pages where this information came from. If these pages seem reliable enough for you, CITE THESE PAGES AS REFERENCES. Don’t cite Wikipedia. That’s like telling someone how to get to the bus depot if they want directions to your house. Make sure you use your noggin about the references though; if a page claims that it is possible to erase national debt by printing more money, and
who understand it, and the downfall of those who don’t. But don’t take anything on face value, not even this article. Wikipedia has drawn a lot of criticism, and not just over the open source information system. There are a lot of politics behind what goes on, and a lot of people have raised arms against Wikipedia’s parents, the Wikimedia Corporation. People have lost precious online credibility, and nerds have taken a lead breakfast over some particularly bitter issues. Check out www.wikitruth. info for more… but don’t take it all at face value. Dig around a bit, look for some information. Wikipedia is bound to have a good page on it.
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0800 4 LK DIRECT 0800 455 347 connects you to your nearest Liquor King store.
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the world. It’s always exciting to see who the next message is from. It’s awesome. You can have a whole conversation in 120 characters and still keep doing whatever else you are doing. It’s a multi-tasker’s dream and that’s great… unless you are driving. I’m guilty of driving and texting and to be honest, I think I’m pretty good at it. I’ve even done it while driving a manual. But how stupid is that? I put lives in danger. Mine, my passengers, and yours.
Moira Neho
Drinking + Driving = Bloody idiot Driving + Texting = Irresponsible and asking for trouble Drinking + Driving + Texting = Bloody idiot who killed somebody’s Grandparents They say that drinking is part of the student culture, and for some students it is. Nexus has a whole column (or should that be kolumn) dedicated to the “karnage” that is the result from the drinking antics of our very own students. While I’m not a drinker myself, (and I will admit that I do try and influence the amount of alcohol that is given away freely on campus) I do understand that people enjoy this very social activity. There’s nothing wrong with it if you are sensible and take all the precautions that the drink drive ads tell you to. Now texting… that’s a different type of addiction and I’ll admit it, I’m addicted. Helen Clark calls herself the “Mistress of Text messages” and if that’s the case then I’m the Queen of Text. I worked for Vodafone in a former life and this is where it all began. My phone beeps at all hours of the day and night from people here in NZ and from all over
In the news recently, a 19 year old guy from Christchurch was being sentenced for killing an elderly couple because he was drinking, driving and texting. What sentence is really going to compensate for the loss of a life? Nothing, as far as I’m concerned and that’s why I don’t ever want to be in that position. Granted I don’t drink so alcohol can be taken out of the equation, but an accident is still a possibility if I keep texting while I’m driving. So here it is, whanau – as of today* I am no longer texting or taking calls while I’m driving and I encourage all of you to do the same. Those of you who know me well, know that if you call or text me you will get an almost immediate response… so in light of my new goal, if you don’t hear from me it means I’m driving! Question of the Week: Should the government ban cell phone use while driving? Thanks to those of you who are answering my questions, keep those responses coming in. (president@wsu.org.nz)
VP Overview As you are no doubt aware, WSU now has two VPs, Vice President, me, and Vice President Maori, Ben. We will be alternately writing this column to keep you informed as to what we get up to in the office and beyond.
to be a jam-packed year, full of diverse and interesting activities that all students can enjoy. Make sure that you keep an eye on this space throughout the year to find out what will be happening.
Now that the madness of O’Week has settled, the office has been humming with ideas as the Directors put together their plan of events and activities for the year. Already, 2008 looks
The regular WSU board meeting time has been scheduled for Mondays 10am-12noon. All members (that’s you) are welcome to attend
our meeting, raise any issues, and listen in on what we are planning and doing. The meetings are held in the Bunker, ground floor of the Student Union Building. Alternatively, if you have a question, comment, or query, email it to me at vp@wsu.org.nz and the answer may appear right here in Nexus in our student questions column (over the page.)
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Upcoming Events Venezuelan Charge d’Affaires on Campus! Nelson Davila is no ordinary diplomat. Originally a student activist, he moved on to become an indigenous rights activist and join Venezuelan President Huge Chavez’s secret revolutionary group inside the Venezuelan armed forces. Today his role is as the Venezuelan Charge d’Affaires for New Zealand, Australia, and the Pacific. So why should you care who he is? Because Nelson Davila is coming onto campus to talk to you! This Wednesday, Davila will be giving a talk on the nature of the Venezuelan revolutionary process, including the recent formation of the 5 million strong United Socialist Party of Venezuela, the government’s
Well you guys asked for one last year so this year you now have a Men’s Officer. What the hell is a Men’s Officer? Well I’m sure we are all aware that we have had a Womens Issues Officer for a while now. As Men we don’t have the same issues as Women. We do however need to have a voice to represent the Male view; some of the things that need to be noted are that we are in fact a minority here at Uni, Men’s achievement rates at school are lower
strong support for indigenous rights in Venezuela, and the growth of Communal Councils which have delegated powers to decide on local and regional priorities along with a huge chunk of state funding to implement their own plans at the grassroots. This is an amazing opportunity for both students and the public to find out what is happening in Venezuela, why they are saying no to capitalism, and how New Zealand can help by establishing a broadbased, inclusive Venezuela solidarity movement. Where: Ground floor, Student Union Building When: Wednesday 19th March Time: 1pm
than females, and Men’s health doesn’t always have the same high profile or awareness. So the Men’s Officer is mainly to provide the males studying here at Uni somewhere to go for advice. We will never tell you just to harden up but rather you will be given information that will be of more assistance. More importantly: if a man makes a decision and there is no woman around is he still wrong?
Nelson Davila Speech Venezuelan Charge d’Affaires , Nelson Davila, will be giving a talk on the Venezuelan revolutionary process and why they are saying no to capitalism. Where: Ground floor, Student Union Building When: Wednesday 19th March Time: 1-2pm
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Dodgeball Tournament Pick up your balls and register at the WSU now. 12 teams only, 6 people per team (minimum 2 girls). There will also be a sausage sizzle, grandstand of couches, and all round carnage. Where: Village Green When: 26th March Time: 12noon-2pm
I never read the WSU pages in Nexus, so can you tell me what the WSU actually does, other than organise O’week?
We also organise heaps of other fun events throughout the year to create a better University experience for our students.
The WSU is there to make sure that your
Does the WSU or the University provide
voices, as students, are being heard. We represent you and aim to protect your rights and interests. Our directors each have specialised portfolios to represent a broad range of interest groups here at the University.
anywhere where students can go between classes to relax?
Joanne Bisset
Women’s Issues Officer and the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Issues Officer respectively.
There are three rooms found at the cowshed for specific groups of students that are stocked
A tremendous service that the Waikato Student Union provides for our students on campus, and also the public, is the operating of Ticketmaster. Ticketmaster provides the ability to buy tickets for enjoyable concerts, sport games, art, events and much more right here on campus. So if you feel the need to go to the Smashing Pumpkins or maybe Westlife is more your thing, then rock up to the reception of WSU with some cash (no eftpos payments) and buy yourself the much needed tickets your heart desires.
Jeff Hawkes
with coffee, tea, milo and couches. Groups that are able to use these quiet spaces are mature students, women and members of askew. The WSU directors in charge of the rooms are the Mature Students’ Officer, the
Tickets are now available for: • Split Enz, • Westlife, Duran • Duran, Korn with Biohazard and Chimaira, • Marilyn ‘Forever Blonde’ • Smashing Pumpkins with the Queens of the Stone Age, • And more!
Olivia Beattie
Ben Delaney
Andrew James
Denis Tokunai
Tracey Iremonger
Rachel Wark
Whetu Taukamo
Glen Delamare
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Date: Wednesday 2nd April 2008 Time: 12.00pm Venue: University Fields & courts (outside the Don Llewellyns) Registrations close Friday 28 March 2008 Limited to the ďŹ rst 10 teams – 10 people per team Touch, Netball, novelty events, BBQ & prizes available throughout the day
Email notices to nexus@waikato.ac.nz (or text to 021 235 8436!) before Wednesday, 5 pm. We don’t always have much space, so get in quick! Try and keep ‘em under 75 words. Ta. Random Stuff
Flatmates Wanted
Personals(!)
Need help typing your assignments, I will type what you write. I do not proof read or check for grammatical errors, but will type your assignments as they are written and your writing must be legible. $7.00 per typed page neg. Text 021 205 3289
Flatmate Wanted. ASAP. Fully redecorated 5 bedroom large house on fully fenced large section, three living areas, two bathrooms. To share with four adults, one child, one cat. Gas heating and water, DVS, Dishwasher. $122 per week includes rent, phone, net, sky, power. Food optional. 15 mins walk from Uni Phone/ Txt 021 205 3289
wanna hook up with a super mega awesome ninja? applicants should be female, at least a 7 on the hotness scale, enjoy a social drink and be generally open to a box-smashingly good time. a black belt in kama sutra preferred, but not essential. also, must not suck at kissing. no pun intended. holla at a ninja 0211816612.
Vocalist wanted for rock/garage band, covers and originals, to play live gigs as soon as the vocalist is up to speed. Gender irrelevant. Contact Smash on 0276661854. Freeloader.co.nz Where Students Buy and Sell. No listing fees, registration charges or success fees, it’s FREE. A great way to buy and sell second hand text books and find flatmates. www.freeloader.co.nz All management students now have there own bebo page! pick up hot chicks off it and share tutorial answers! just go to http://www.bebo.com/BMSRepresenT and join the revolution!
For Sale For Sale: Mazda Familia 1993, 4 door, only 133,000kms, Automatic. Current WOF and Rego Very economical Asking Price $1600 or negotiable Contact: jk109@students.waikato.ac.nz or 02102286768
Flatmate wanted to join a flat just off Nevada rd with 3 others 2 male, 1 female, (..and a 1 year old maltese), rent is $90 per week incl. power. 10 min walk to uni, and 5 min walk to shops, bakery etc. enquiries plz ph or txt 0273223887
Flatemate wanted for Single room in chilled 4bed house, BIG backyard, 10min walk to uni, very, very close to buses, dairy, pharmacy, takeaway and hillcrest library/less than 1min walk. $95 rent + power. Please contact 0275337944 for more details or ht71@ waikato.ac.nz for more info.
Hi, i’m a 21 year old looking for a woman who knows how to be herself in the bedroom, and doesn’t mind trying new things. must 6.5 plus and successful applicants can bring their friends too. possibility of obtaining best “O” ever very likely. If interested please call or txt Andy mac on 0273131855.
Do you want to live with the most boring girls in Waikato?! We answer to Bronwyn and Coop. We enjoy knitting, cleaning, Swedish death metal and Hungry Hungry Hippos. Come join us at 81a Cook St as we’re looking for a new flatmate. Pref male and a passion for livin’ the dream. 027 403 3608 (Yes, this is a real notice.)
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party review Karnage Kolumn
With your tight-trousered cunning linguist, AJ. De stierhaast is geen stierdrol. Bulrush is no bull-shit! It has been an incredible start to the semester! To explain the Dutch statement above, I have been put in charge of organising 20 Muppets to engage in recreation via bulrush at every Chiefs home game at Waikato Stadium. So far there have been two home games and by golly gosh it has been karnage. The first game I started in the middle of the bulrush and yes, in true form I made a fool of myself by missing the first 3 tackles in front of 15,000 Waikato fanatics. Moral of the story is to not drink a whole kristov cask and half a dozen ‘katos before being the halftime entertainment of a Super14 rugby match. Moving along to the par-tay I encountered in the last week…a fellow comrade of mine had just arrived back from North and South America and after contracting AIDS from some of the Columbian natives he finally got let through customs and into the land of the long white cloud. Fun times were set to be had at the ‘Fox ‘n Clyde’, which in actual fact is a previous dwelling of mine. The F and C have just what the doctor
ordered, if a doctor was ordering an ideal party pad. It’s situated on a semi-main road (Clyde St) and has a delightful front yard perfect for BYC and general shenanigans. The couches were out, Kora, Katchafire, and Black Seeds were blaring out of the sound-box and the mood was happiness, alcohol was guzzled and numerous was the telling of lies and tall tales. The vital ingredient of their pad that makes it so epic is the extremely low fence. The stumpy boundary marker means that the large amount of human traffic passing by receives a performance of some kind from one of the party-goers. And because the piss-drinkers are always dressed up in theme and easily seen by mechanical traffic, (cars etc.) toots are a very regular occurrence, culminating in a simple but effective drinking game…1 toot…1 scull. It was a tribal night (jungle theme in town) at the F and C which saw puppetry of the penis, motion master rides, and cutting shapes to Daft Punk in the lounge, it was an animal experience. Hey, at least Lindsay didn’t break the toilet this time. I also attended Buddy’s 21st which I was guttered to miss the stripper, although I saw the video…you didn’t even get a semi Buddy, maybe the rumour that you bat for both sides may actually be truthful. If you are having a rage, then send me, AJ, an SMS (not a PMS) and I’ll try and attend your pad (not that pad). Get me on 027 6322769, way too easy. Autobots, Transform and Roll Out, Decepticons, Eat Shit!
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Since entering into law in July of 2007, the government savings-scheme, promoted under the title of “Kiwisaver,” has gained almost half a million participants, and the number continues to grow. This widespread participation has brought immediate claims of runaway success from the policy architects, and the mainstream media have, for the most part, echoed the government’s positive analysis. However, the astonishingly rapid sign-up rate begs enquiry: Are we to believe that people are gung-ho for a government savings-scheme, or is there another, more accurate, explanation? In fact, we shall see that the growing number of people on Kiwisaver is testament to coerced participation, and punishment being imposed on non-participants.
opportunity to opt-out process with every new job. Those promoting Kiwisaver have not been forthcoming with the proportions of participants enrolled automatically and without prior knowledge. However, we do know that 25% of those enrolled did not give consent or complete any paperwork, and when we consider the rate of people changing jobs relative to the participant numbers, more than
“Everyone starting a job is enrolled in Kiwisaver. After a period of two weeks, you are able to apply to opt-out, but you may be declined, and if you fail to opt-out within six weeks, you’re stuck”
Given the prevailing views that Kiwisaver is voluntary and that new participants have actively signed up, one can be forgiven for interpreting the stream of new participants as enthusiasm for a government savings scheme. However, both views are incorrect, and we have been misled by those promoting the scheme. Kiwisaver is not voluntary; and many new participants did not even sign up.
half of the new enrolees go on to opt-out. Therefore, holding up new enrolments as evidence of enthusiasm for Kiwisaver is at best inaccurate and misleading – and at worst it is deceitful.
Everyone starting a job is enrolled in Kiwisaver, with or without the required forms. After a period of two weeks, you are able to apply to opt-out, but you may be declined, and if you fail to opt-out within six weeks, you’re stuck. Even if one does manage to escape, he or she is mandated to undergo this opt-in and
In the 1997 referendum, 92% of voters were against a compulsory savings-scheme; so why are people now willing to sign up and forgo access to their money until retirement? Ironically, a professor from our own management school, John Gibson, has concluded that only 9 to 19% of the money
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in Kiwisaver accounts is saving that would otherwise not have occurred, and, due to the array of associated costs, “Kiwisaver is likely to lower rather than lift national saving.” Clearly the people are not so willing, and the program is failing to achieve its stated goal of increased national saving. Still, rather than bother to address the causes for New Zealand’s poor savings culture, our government desires to have our entire nation entangled in their savings-scheme. Hence, they have placed the legislative burden on non-participants and employers, and they are forever assigning lollipops such as tax-breaks and a “free” $1,000 to participants. To finish the job off, they have been heavily advertising the scheme—“impartially” of course—at a cost of over a $1 million per month. Kiwisaver’s apparent success and seemingly benign appearance are soon dispelled when one examines the structure and results of the program and compares them with the promotional doublespeak. If the government had confidence in our enthusiasm for a centrally planned savings-scheme, they would not coerce participation, and they would cease giving rewards to participants at the expense of everyone else. Fergus Hodgson has a B.A. in economics from Boston University. He currently studies political science and tutors macroeconomics here at the University of Waikato. Feedback is welcome at flh2@waikato.ac.nz.
nerdery. Jed Laundry
Now, just before I start this week’s blubberings; there is a certain friend
I get a little annoyed. Remember, a camera is a team of settings, try fighting with one and they’ll attack you back. So, from the top;
Let me make this clear; I don’t hate DSE at all. In fact, apart from Jaycar, theres no other computer/electronics store I’d rather shop at. Ok? Are you happy now Rick that I’ve just dedicated an entire paragraph to you and your frail ego? :P
1) Select an ISO/ASA rating. This is the sensitivity of the sensor. The lower the rating, the more ambient light you’ll need, but the less grainy your images will look. Use what you have to, but avoid settings >=800 unless you have to. With decent flash, you should get away with 100-200.
of mine who thinks I hate DSE, because every time I’ve had to mention a computer store, it has ALWAYS been DSE that I’ve mentioned.
That out of the way, I’m going to go straight into the other bit of housekeeping I have, the new name. It seems The Ed was getting complaints about people not knowing what static void Main() meant (static void Main() is the main entry point for a C# program (or, as my flatmate would say, bla bla bla geeky geeky tech shit)). I picked it at random, but, in the spirit of keeping with old Nexus names, the name has now changed to something a bit more humbling. So, half my page gone, I’m going to get up on my soap box and scream instructions on how to use a camera properly until people seem to get it. This is spurred on from a few certain “photographers” seemingly unable to take a photo without me being there, and when there is Tamahere,
2) Set your aperture. In your lens there are plastic blades that make a circle grow bigger and smaller (ooh la la). When you open the aperture (smaller f-stop number), you let more light in, but make everything not in focus blurrier. You can take some really artistic shots if you can get the aperture setting right. 3) Set your shutter speed. Your ISO and aperture settings will dictate what range of acceptable shutter speeds you can use, but its still worth paying attention to. If you can’t stand still and use a long exposure, you’re going to ruin any and all photos you take. If you know how to work Photoshop, you can sometimes get away with shots that are a tad darker with (shorter exposure).
BY BURTON C BOGAN
Alice Cooper Hey Alice, who the fuck is Alice? I figured seeing as how Rock2Wellington is ONLY NEXT WEEK that I should do some sort of topical piece; at least that’s what they told me when I took a journalism course, good old Northland Polytech in Kerikeri. So I figured I’d write some stuff on Alice Cooper. He was born Vincent Damon Furnier and is one of those Rock legends who is still performing even though he’s now 60 years of age. Much like Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper was the name of the band as well as the singer, which was then taken on by Alice when he went solo. The original Alice Cooper band is probably most well known for the single Schools Out, which I remember playing on my Dad’s old vinyl and dancing on a table when I was 10. As a solo artist he’s probably best known for the single Poison, which is on a sing star, which came out in 1988. His fans are huge and I was interested to read that they include Salvador Dali even! Old Dali even produced a piece of art in his honour and no it’s not a whole bunch of melted Alice Cooper’s over tree trunks. My favourite Alice Cooper song is probably Feed my Frankenstein. My favourite Alice Cooper moment is when he appeared on The Muppet Show. All kinds of creepy things happened around the show and it even featured this song sung by a whole lot of monster puppets that I will always remember:
We’re ugly we’re ugly as sin, when beautiful’s out, ugly’s in. When you’re ugly like me you’re in good company…there are millions of us who’re ugly! Words to live by! Maybe that’s Metal in general. In an interview with Tom Araya he was asked what the typical Slayer fan was like and his answer was: The ugliest kid on the block. I have to admit being ugly in the Metal business is usually a bonus! Maybe it relates to that whole relationship with evil thing. Alice Cooper is so ugly he cuts his own head off every performance. Oh yeah, I really want to buy this book too:
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LECTERN Waikato University has some incredible academic talent – which, too often, flies under the radar, visible only to particular students in specific lectures. That’s why Nexus has taken the opportunity to get our academics in our student mag. Every week, we’ll publish a new piece by one of our lecturers, on the topic of their choice. Email or txt feedback to nexus@waikato.ac.nz or 021 235 8436 This week’s Lectern is by Screen and Media Studies Lecturer, Bevin Yeatman Over the last few months there has been an intensive investment in a review of the creative and performing arts as they are practiced at Waikato University. This is a very diverse arena involving a range of interests emerging from music, art, graphic design, theatre, dance and the screen, all of which are dispersed in different departments about the campus. Large quantities of paper have been produced carrying documentation of these practices and the desires of practitioners to enhance the potential of their work. Staff and students have been canvassed and interviewed for their perspectives, a review group has been collating this data and we all wait for their recommendations. This is one of a number of reviews that have been instigated by the University recently, and it is an important one, not only because it seems to be leading the way but also because it signals that the University administration has recognized the potency of this dimension of the University and the roles that creative practice play not only within the confines of academic life but also as an important contribution to our work and community experience. This aspect of self reflection, looking at what we do as staff and students, is an essential one, and hopefully might produce opportunities that stimulate connections between the different enclaves of practice that now exist. These practices have always been important for the University. The Music Department leads the way introducing an impressive range of musical experience to those willing to take the opportunity to listen at their many concerts, but there is also an active theatre and dance experience, graphic design and fine art shows and also various showings of studentbased media. The (hopeful) outcome for this review, is both to allow for a stronger cross fertilization between the various approaches to creative engagements as well as to continue to develop a rich encounter with the expression that emerges from any space that respects its creative resources. 32
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One aspect of this development needs to be recognition that creative and performing practices are not confined to the traditional approaches to expression such as a dance work or music recital, and that there are emerging practices that are also making a strong impact on our engagement with the world. The impact of YouTube, or the development of machinima, the experience of digital performance and the establishment of online galleries, sound archives and resources for graphics, are all manifestations of the power of online practice. An active investment in this arena is important especially now that there is a big investment in computer hardware and software for the new student hub. However, it is imperative that the creative and performative agendas for the University invest in their potential and recognize that this is an arena that we all encounter, both for job opportunity as well as pleasure, and that it has established itself as a source of new combinations as well as a platform for distribution of works on an unprecedented scale. Universities are strong archives of established knowledge but they must also offer productive encounters with the plethora of forces that are changing our approach to knowledge production and to the ways that we will work in the future. The creative and performing arts review might be an opportunity to signal that we do live in the twenty-first century and that the experiences we have within the digital environment are impacting on all of us in ways that offer new approaches to creative practice and its performance. Bevin Yeatman is a lecturer in Screen and Media Studies at the University of Waikato. Bevin is currently involved in co-ordinating BigTV, a university/community television station established on the campus. This acts as a media laboratory examining the potential for television broadcast in the future. He is also interested in the growing dominance of the audiovisual and how this might impact on our social experience, both in terms of practice and theory. He can be contacted at byeatman@ waikato.ac.nz
By Kirill Generally speaking, awesome people are awesome at finding awesome things. I for one already know how cool you are and have already been in your room while you sleep (unless you’re a douche, and then I just stood outside your window). I have also found and been inside every cool café, restaurant and eating-hole in Hamilton (or stood at its window). As a person theoretically eats three times a day, you have three chances to show someone somewhere cool in Hamilton, which might make them you’re awesome and you might get kisses and boob touches (giving or receiving depending on sex). Breakfast: Depending on your breakfast needs, you have a few options. Coffee lovers should go to La Commune, on Victoria St, as the food is guilt and karma free (vegan or something.) This is perfect if you wake up with someone in the Outback courtyard and need to scrub your soul clean. I prefer more traditional fare nearby as the Outback guys are no longer allowed to let me sleep there. Lunch: This is Hamilton, and as a friend once put it; “it is easier to fuck a girl here than take her to dinner.” This being completely true, if you’re taking someone somewhere it will probably be for lunch, as dinner is WAY too much like a real date. This makes lunch your best bet to
impress, and luckily you have a surprising number of options. I’ll try and make it awesomely simple: Cassabella Lane (for pasta, best lunch time sushi, Pasta Mia, a salad place, a Thai place and a faux-French Bistro). Victoria St side streets (OneZb, Tables, a sweet Thai place and some reasonably authentic Italian fare on Alma St, there’s others but, like lice, you should comb around to find them). There’s a few others like Rocket Café on Grey Street (bagels with salmon, the food of the gods…and Jewish stereotypes) or the café at the Hamilton Gardens (food is ok, but since you aren’t eating next to Mahi the helmet-wearing homeless guy, it’s a smidgen more romantic). Dinner: For those who actually managed to get someone out for dinner (or came out by themselves) you have some good options. My normal choices here are quite typical, but I have found them to be consistently good over the years. OneZB and Tables on the River are in the same building on Alma St, so if you haven’t done your homework, you can see both menus before making a choice (just pretend that you have already decided, as indecision is seriously un-awesome.) In my opinion they are both high quality, high service establishments which are hard to fault for most people. Palate is a very fine choice also and has won more awards than you have …eyes. The paddle boat under the town bridge is also pretty novel, being both a boat and a “Hotstone” restaurant. In my opinion novel enough to overcome one major personality flaw you might have (like a lisp or ginger hair).
school you go to after primary school but before high school, only for two years. I’m still not entirely sure why we have it, but suffice to say it’s where New Zealand preteens go for two years in the mindset that nothing they do has much bearing on anything, so they hang out with people they normally wouldn’t, piss around and waste their time, and give/receive handjobs in the forested area on the school grounds.
This attitude spills over into the collective social life of the city. Just stop and actually watch people next time you are out and about. There’s no commitment. Everybody is waiting for a better group of girls/guys to walk past, or to find a better club where they can really have a good time. It’s no surprise we have such an alcohol based culture; getting drunk is the only way that Hamiltonians can deal with the fact that they can’t find anything better to do. There’s no dating culture here at all – in fact, the look on a girl’s face when you ask them out for dinner is as entertaining as actually taking a lady out for dinner, drinks, and dancing.
Now, while I am yet to give any handjobs in any forested areas in Hamilton, I’m making the comparison nonetheless. This obviously applies to the University situation first; people have moved here, temporarily, to get their degree at Waikato. The majority of people are here until they can graduate and then get to where they actually want to be. It’s just like going to the flatwarming of the dropkick who lived next to you in the halls: you aren’t there for the fun, you are there to mack on a sweet chicky babe and take her to town. You won’t find many people who are at the party for the Mad Jacks, Limp Biscuit, and the music. It follows that you won’t find many students who are in Hamilton because that’s where they wanted to be while they studied, not counting the people who went to high school here and were too scared to leave.
This is a real shame, because the restaurant/quiet drinks scene is widely overlooked. Le Dome, Cullens and Iguana are the first to mind when I think of some damned good eateries, and there’s at least a dozen more within a 5 minute walk. Here’s an example of a successful “quiet” night out: Dinner at Iguana, down the street to ice-cream and dessert wines at The Bank, coffee with liqueur across the road at Furnace, cocktails at Sekure and then more drinks and cowboy hats at Rodeo Rodeo. Hell, if you can’t think of that yourself why are you bothering? Just put your hoodie on and hang around the Akzes carpark demanding to see pink bits. You’ll fit right in.
Hamilton is the intermediate school of our Aotearoa. For those who never went to an intermediate, it’s a
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fear, panic and deceit around drugs. Despite the obvious failure of current policies, rambo rhetoric and excessive and draconian laws are pretty much a magic formula for winning conservative votes. BZP is a good example. It is hard to conclude that BZP carries anything other than a low risk of harm, on the evidence available. Of course some people overdo it and the consequences can be unpleasant, even alarming, but as far as we can tell they have never been fatal. In 2005 Parliament introduced a new class ‘D’ into the Misuse of Drugs Act, after prompting by the Greens, to allow drugs like BZP to be restricted - R18. This was new way of dealing with recreational drugs within the Act, aimed at reducing drug related harm by keeping it above ground.
but we are not banning that. Why specifically recommend a ‘C1” classification, which carries draconian “search without warrant powers?” Why is it even being assessed as a ‘moderate’ risk rather than ‘low’? The fact that the Government is passing a law to schedule BZP, rather than using the fast track ‘affirmative resolution’ procedure they introduced specifically for this kind of thing gives us a clue. The fast track procedure requires that classification be based on clear criteria, and is able to be challenged in open court. Legislation is not open to judicial review. The EACD was obviously pressured to change its initial ‘low risk’ assessment. Minister of Drugs Jim Anderton sees class ‘D’ as a holding pen for new drugs, while enough evidence is fabricated to ‘justify’ a ban. That he didn’t pass the regulations for
pills, with the support of everyone except the Greens, the Maori Party and ACT. They are giving the industry seven days to get rid of their stock, and the general public 6 months to eat theirs.
Yet the Government is now banning BZP. They say it is because that’s what the Expert Advisory Committee on Drugs recommended, based on an assessment that it is a moderate risk of harm.
BZP that the law allows him to just reaffirms that he never intended to use that classification to properly regulate BZP.
Like law and order, drug issues are tailor-made for electioneering. It’s easy to ramp up hysteria,
Why would a ‘moderate risk’ mean people should be criminalised for using it? Playing rugby carries a higher risk of harm than BZP,
Soapbox is a weekly column where Nexus invites MPs, local body politicians, and people of interest to have their say – in a student magazine, directly to students. Debate and discuss their views in the letters page – send to nexus@waikato.ac.nz This week’s columnist is Green MP (and former Nexus Editor!) Nandor Tanczos By the time you read this, BZP will probably be illegal. As I write, the Government is rushing the last stages of legislation banning party
A wise sage once told me: “Blair, if you’re out during O Week with a camera, you’d have to have three heads to not get any phone numbers.” With that in mind, and with all the photographic talent of Stevie Wonder at my disposal, I tumbled out onto the Village Green, in the hopes that even if I didn’t get any phone numbers, I could at least meet some cool people, and hang out with some awesome female-people. Note to self: Digital cameras require batteries to work. Needless to say, I didn’t get any phone numbers, or hang out with awesome femalepeople. I told you that story so I could make an actual point today. The concept of using a pick-up line to meet people is one that has always eluded me. I understand how it works, sure, but I’ve never 34
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been able to pull it off. A friend of mine introduced me to a game called, appropriately enough, the Pick-up Line Game. On a night out in town, you are given one line to use, and any attempt to talk to a member of the opposite sex must begin with the use of said line. Unfortunately, you aren’t the one who chooses what line you can use. Now, I’m not entirely sure whether or not the idea is to actually meet people through the “Top 50 List of Bad Pick-up Lines,” or whether you can write it off as a social experiment while getting completely trashed, but I get rejected enough as it is, and I’d need a lot of substance abuse to get me to the point where I’d agree to play this game. Ladies, if you’re ever out in town, and you find yourself victim to one of these lines, I am truly sorry, but it wouldn’t be good journalism if I didn’t at least show evidence of my findings.
It’s a bloody shame really. This was a chance to cut through decades of failed prohibition and explore a different approach. A chance to show how a regulated market could work, and to test whether harm minimisation would result.
“Your parents must be cousins, because you’re special.” “That must be a keg in your pants, because I’d love to tap that ass.” “Did you know that your body is approximately 75% water? Also, I’m Jewish.” (God help me for writing this next one down) “Your father must have been a thief, because I saw him stealing chocolate from the corner dairy.” And finally, “If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA Ligase, so I could unzip your genes.” To any female biology students who get that one, I have one word: Giggity.
moving pictures
its own, “Down from the Mountain�). If sentiment is undercut with references to poverty, racism, bank robbery and political corruption the Coen touch is so light that even the Ku Klu Klan come off like extras in a Busby Berkeley production number. George Clooney seems the very incarnation of Clark Gable and the supporting cast is impeccable.
With Dr Richard Swainson
Fargo� was for the Coen brothers a career high point, garnering them an Oscar for orginal screenplay as well as a best actress award for Joel’s wife Frances McDormand. They chose to follow it up with probably their most beloved work, a character study of a lazy stoner that is equal parts Cheech and Chong and Raymond Chandler. “The Big Lebowski�’s easy charm flows in no small measure from a delightfully laid back Jeff Bridges in its leading role. Bridges is the calm at the centre of various narrative storms that feature a highly strung feminist painter (Julianne Moore, employing her faux British accent to great effect), a chastened paedophile bowler (John Turturro, hilarious if underused) and a nervous Vietnam veteran struggling to remain true to his adopted Jewish faith (John Goodman, sweaty and verbose). “Lebowski�’s cult appeal foreshadowed the popular success of “O Brother, Where Art Thou?�, in which the Coens stole their title from Preston Sturges and their plot from Homer. A remarkably sweet natured adaptation of “The Odyssey�, transposed to the American south during the great depression, it benefits from a glorious period look and a soundtrack to match ( the music inspired an excellent concert film of
Emboldened, the brothers embarked on a more overt homage, shooting in black and white for the first time. “The Man Who Wasn’t There� has a dead pan tone to it reminiscent at times of Jim Jarmusch, with Billy Bob Thornton rigourously underplaying the part of a cuckolded barber whose blackmail plans go wrong. Aesthetically breathtaking, with unexpected narrative twists - a subplot involving aliens, innocent school girl Scarlett Johansson suddenly going down on Billy Bob - it was perhaps too challenging for mainstream audiences. The two pictures that followed were seemingly a retreat to commerical filmmaking. “Intolerable Cruelty� pleased few people, being too quirky and subversive for romantic comedy fans and not enough so for those of the Coens. “The Ladykillers� was an improvement, a fearless transposition of the Ealing studio classic to the contemporary American south featuring a suitably extreme Tom Hanks in the old Alec Guinness role. Predictably, champions of the original were outraged. It took a return to the noirish world of their earliest work to restore the brothers’ reputation. All films mentioned above may be rented from Auteur House.
“I was cheated!�
Hamish bought a car from a fellow student. He paid $4500 for it and has just discovered there was money owing on it and there were mechanical faults. What can he do? 4/4!, 6)3)/. /04/-%42)343
If you are buying privately (ie from its owner who is not a dealer) then you are not covered by the Consumer Guarantees Act. Therefore you MUST check. a. If there is money owing check www.ppsr.govt.nz , www. lemoncheck.co.nz, www.vir.co.nz, www.autofinder.co.nz . (Some of these sites cost money for the information) or phone 090055007 (also a charge). b. The car must have a warrant of fitness which has been issued not more than a month before hand. c. If something goes wrong with a car bought privately you may be able to claim a refund under the Contractual Remedies Act if the seller provided untrue information and therefore you have lost money. d. You and the owner must complete a change of ownership form within 7 days of purchasing (from Post Shop, AA, or Vehicle Testing). It is important to ensure this is done by BOTH parties. The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other hassles you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge data base to help answer anyone’s questions. Visit them at the Cowshed from 1pm – 3pm daily during semesters or phone 838 4466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB
&2%% %9% 3#2%%.).' %6%29 7%$.%3$!9 &2/- 0- 4/ 04(% -%%4).' 2//345$%.4 5.)/. "5),$).' 5.)6%23)49 /& 7!)+!4/ 4OTAL 6ISION /PTOMETRISTS 'REY 3TREET (AMILTON %AST 0H &AX TOTALVISION VISIQUE CO NZ
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slip in and out of a half time feel. The Chase are testament to this fact. This is music that physically moves you.
Hamtown Smakdown 08 By CT Watkins At first entry into the Meteor for this year’s Hamtown Smakdown (Saturday section) I realised that (despite my best efforts at remembering) I had not brought my ear plugs. The Chase proceeded to smash my ears into submission in about 4 bars. I stood there, just back from the flailing arms and legs of the straight-edge youths hurling themselves across the floor, and thought, holy shit this is just what I needed. That need being for intensely visceral and unashamedly conscious music. My intestines and my mind were lovin’ it. The thing I love about hardcore bands is that they have this great sense of dynamics and know the perfect moment to
The only gripe I have for this volume based music is that the live show tends to sacrifice the vocals for the guitars, which is certainly what happened the other night. The problem is that whatever these frontmen are screaming it has to be terribly meaningful to engender such vein-popping and saliva spraying intensity out of their necks and faces. A good solution would be to turn the other stuff down a smidgen so we can hear the vox and get inspired too. My ears can only take so much abuse and so I missed a lot of the action, but I’m a bit of a hardcore philistine so it tends to blend after a while to me. I still managed to catch Strangers though. They reside almost as far away from Auckland’s The Chase as the North Island allows, but the Wellington 5-piece had just as much musical sensibility and a little more tongue in cheek than their northern contemporaries. When they played my favourite song of the night I was more intent on trying to get a good picture than rocking out. I failed, but that man on drums, Jason, can sure kick a groove. I shoulda listened to my intestines.
CD Reviews PJ Harvey White Chalk (Island Records)
Jack Johnson Sleep Through the Static (Brushfire Records)
Listeners of White Chalk shouldn’t expect either a circumspect celebration of some city moments ala her much lauded 2000 effort, nor a rocky rollick ala the early days. This album catches up with PJ Harvey seemingly in the winter of her discontent. Each mournful tune is a morose vignette, which sometimes threatens to get maudlin – “Oh god, I miss you… Oh god I miss you”. For the most part, however, the integrity of feeling behind this extremely introverted effort from Polly Jean is kept intact. This is done with the minimum of fuss her instrumentation allows - using piano in the main, an instrument Harvey is not so familiar with, forces simplicity and sparcity out of every song. It’s not the sort of album to be listened to needlessly, background atmospheric is an impossibility, the music and high vocals bite too hard for that. And, besides, it is interesting. Calling forth the deep forces of a long and sombre British folk history, Chalk is meant for those quiet reflective moments after a painful lesson or uncovering a new, intolerable emotion. Thus, if you’re not up for being nightmarishly honest, avoid at all costs.
Up until I heard this album I co-related Jack Johnson with Seabiscuit, an annoyingly slow and useless horse that should be shot. Luckily I let the little blighter run one more time. I haven’t heard a full work by Johnson because I have always been put off by the mundane singles that forego his full-length efforts, but I’m glad I begrudgingly took this one off the CDs4Nix shelves. From the very first song, the brilliantly introed “All At Once”, Johnson signals his intent, and somehow manages to make the seemingly trite line “Sometimes it feels like a heart is no place to be singing from at all” sound new and meaningful. Effortlessly he swings from this lilting introspective piece to a rap that flows like Eminem wrote it and is sung with the consummate ease of a Keidis. There is plenty of surfy, rootsy fodder for the die-hards here, and even they appeal to me in ways I thought they never would, but attention grabbers for me are those introspective treats with the juicy arrangements and sounds – notably “Enemy” and “What You Thought You Need” – catchy melodies r us! Which leads me to the conclusion that Sleep Through the Static is a mature and fully realised effort from, to me, a surprising source. I love surprises.
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ISSUE 02 • 10 MARCH 08
Flight of the Conchords – Series 1
Roadrunner Roadrage (2005)
BY BURTON C BOGAN
By Burton C Bogan
I admit it. I’m a Flight of the Conchords noob. Well not a total one. I’ve seen quite a few of their songs on Youtube and thought they were hilarious (my favourite being “If you’re into it.”). Meanwhile everyone around me is talking about it, quoting it, using character pictures for their MSN profiles. Maybe I should mention that I’m a nerd too! Flight of the Conchords consist of Jemaine Clement & Brett McKenzie. You might remember Jemaine as a writer/actor in the comedy show Skitz, and also the movie Tongan Ninja. (I remember. It’s so awesome. – Ed) Brett McKenzie isn’t as well known, but apparently was an elf extra in Lord of the Rings and is a member of the Wellington Ukulele Orchestra! More credibly, he used to be a member of The Black Seeds. The TV show is about the musical duo, called Flight of the Conchords, who move from New Zealand to New York to try and break into the American music market. Now really all that description earlier was probably unnecessary, and so is the review, when I think about it. Chances are you already know about them and probably think they’re hilarious. I do too. It’s even better now that I’m watching the musical pieces in context. Before watching this I was worried that the comedy in between wouldn’t be good, as New Zealand comedy shows are really hit and miss. But for the most part it’s awesome. The musical pieces encompass a wide range of different styles, which really shows off Jemaine and Brett’s musical talents. I mean don’t get me wrong, I didn’t find all the songs funny – some weren’t really my thing but even when they aren’t that great they’re generally pretty short and the next one usually more than makes up for it. Just depends on what style of music you’re into, or which you’re prepared to see mocked! They also parody famous bands, probably most recognizably The Pet Shop Boys in the second episode. The acting is great, particularly the deadpan comedy – usually from Jemaine. It’s great to see a New Zealand comedy that’s genuinely funny and is successful overseas – having been developed by HBO. Definitely buy this DVD, a must have for every Kiwi to reassure ourselves that we are funny, and for all non-Kiwis to show how funny we are!
Roadrunner records are probably one of my favourite record labels of all time. So many cool bands are signed under them, Fear Factory, Slipknot, Machine Fucken Head, DevilDriver and so on and so forth. Illdisposed, one of my favourite bands, is also signed under the Roadrunner banner. So I jumped at the chance to review this DVD. Contained on this disc are over two hours worth of music videos from the aforementioned artists and many more – 28 different bands in total. For some reason when I first picked this up I thought it was live performances, perhaps for Roadrunner’s 25th Anniversary or something, but I was wrong. This is all music videos, high quality ones as well, which is awesome. Only two tracks on this are live – Chimaira (due in NZ next month) and Soulfly (doing a Sepultura song). Even these two are heavily produced, which is a good thing and a bad thing. At my flat, when we get drunk, which is often, we only have one DVD that has a range of metal songs on it, all of the others are just one band. So often this same DVD gets played everytime we get drunk. It’s an Ozzfest one so its cool, but I’m a little tired of it. So now we have two, swish Burt! This is the perfect DVD for those who want to have some beers and have some music videos on the telly while they’re doing it. It’s a pretty cheap deal too, at only 19.95, this is a steal compared to some of those compilation DVDs that are out there at the moment. There are some weird inclusions on here, like 36 Crazyfists – who I don’t really like but I guess with compilation ones you’re not going to be able to please all of the people all of the time. But this is a pretty good DVD to have on no matter what type of Metal you’re into. I’m banging my head as I’m typing this…no shit, I should be a Heavy Metal keyboardist. Like that’ll happen!
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CORNER OF WARD AND VICTORIA ST , HAMILTON ISSUE 02 • 10 MARCH 08
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Listings courtesy of Mammoth and the Hamilton Community Arts Council
MUSIC NEWS dDub’s new album Medicine Man in stores 31 March 08 *PLUS May / June Tour Dates Medicine Man is the much anticipated second album from one of Aotearoa’s best-loved live rock/roots acts dDub. Matt Chicoine aka Recloose deals out a stack of funky thrills with his new studio album Perfect Timing which is out now! Download from iTunes or purchase from LOOPshop at loop.co.nz/loopshop
LIVE MUSIC There is, apparently, squat-all coming up in the way of live music. If you have any listings, email them to nexus@waikato.ac.nz Matt Chicoine aka Recloose plays Auckland on March 28 and Tauranga on March 29. Tickets from Amplifier.co.nz Tune in to Contact 88.1FM from 7pm, for the new doom, horror and metal show Bad Dreams. dDub are touring New Zealand in May/June – keep an eye on the Gig Guide for more details! June Saturday 14 Album tour/release finale Party - Auckland (TBC)
ART EVENTS Atrium Recital Series Showcasing top musical students from the University of Waikato, ideal for an audience who like fine music and formal occasions. Wine and nibbles provided. Friendly and enjoyable atmosphere. Experience a range of different musical talents from pianists, choir, orchestra, barbershop through to solo vocalists. Monthly | Tue 18 Mar 2008 Cost: Free Time: 5.30pm Where: Hamilton Girls High School, Main Entrance 38
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Stations of the Cross Sunday 16 March to Saturday 22 March, 8-10pm. @ Hamilton Gardens. $5 door sales with complimentary coffee Now in its 6th year, Stations of the Cross features a range of local artists including internationally acclaimed artist Rangi Kipa. Hamilton Film Society Film Screening Jacquot De Nantes (Agnes Varda, France, 1991). Varda’s engrossing tribute to Demy mixes the home-movie footage and brief clips from his films with a dramatised reenactment of his early years. Tue 18 Mar 2008 Cost: Full Year Membership $100. One-off screenings $12. Time: 8pm Where: Victoria Cinema, 690 Victoria Street, Hamilton Lunchtime Recital Series at the Academy Gregory Harrington (violin) and Isabelle O’Connell (piano). The dynamic and charismatic American-based Irish violinist plays the mighty D minor Sonata of Brahms and a selection of shorter miniatures. Wed 19 Mar 2008 Cost: By donation Time: 1pm Where: Gallagher Concert Chamber, WEL Academy of Performing Arts, University of Waikato Campus
COMING UP... Strange Resting places Wednesday 30 April to Saturday 3 May, 8pm start @ Clarence St Theatre. Tickets from ticketdirect.co.nz or the Hamilton Public Library Stories inspired by the Maori battalion in Italy. Laughing Samoans: Crack Me Off Saturday 3 May, 8pm start. @ Founders Theatre. Tickets available from Ticketdirect.co.nz The Dentist’s Chair Tuesday 20 May to Saturday 24 May, 8pm start @ Clarence St Theatre. Tickets from ticketdirect.co.nz or the Hamilton Public Library Check out mammothmedia.co.nz petrajane.com
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