issue 8

08 30 APRIL 2007

Careers Fair 2007 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where When Time

Academy of Performing Arts Thursday 3rd May 10.00am - 3.00pm

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Who is coming:

• ANZ • ASB • College of Law • Crowne Plaza Auckland • Department of Corrections • EDS • Fonterra • Frucor • Genesis Energy • IEP • Institute of Professional Legal Studies • Kiwiplan • Lion Nathan • Ministry of Economic Development • National Bank • New Zealand Police • New Zealand Racing Board • NZICA • Retailworld Resourcing • State Services Commission • Statistics New Zealand • TeachNZ • Toll NZ • Workaway International • VIF www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/careers/cf2007.shtml careers@waikato.ac.nz

www.waikato.ac.nz/careers

Hi 5

BY ROCKY Dear Agony Art

Questions 1. Should weed be legal?

2. Best thing you did during the holidays?

3. Worst thing you did during the holidays?

4. Do you like Starbucks?

5. Favourite thing on a guys/girls body?

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and my girlfriend has dribbled all over me in her sleep. I’m not talking about a little pool on the pillow; I mean I am drenched from head to toe with drool. I really love this girl, but I’m so disgusted by her.

Scuba Steve

Laurie

Dear Scuba Steve

1. Yeah.

2. Drinking on camp with friends.

3. Nothing, had a real good holiday.

4. I like frappucinos.

5. The V thing on a guy’s stomach.

Atauuhai 1. No. 2. Went and saw the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

3. Working.

4. No, too expensive.

5. Chest.

I’ve never actually heard of this happening before.

I have however, done some research into your case and I can draw only one conclusion. Your girlfriend is a werewolf. The drool is a by-product of her subconsciously tasting you in her sleep. The love of your life, during a full-moon, will transform into a ravenous and hairy beast, intent only on feeding on the flesh of mortal man. Apparently, her love for you is enough for her to not eat you. You should be thankful and bask in what is to a degree (when you think long and hard about it) legal bestiality.

Agony Art Dear Agony Art

Gian

What are some aphrodisiacs that I don’t have to buy through the junk mail in my webmail inbox?

1. Sure.

2. Sleeping.

3. Starbucks.

4. Star-what?

5. Eyelids… yummers.

Lacking in Sex-Drive Dear Lacking in Sex-Drive

1. No. 2. Went to Taupo with mates.

3. Didn’t do assignments that are due this week.

4. Yes. 5. From a chicks knees to her neck.

Steven 1. Nope.

2. Went to a gay bar, gay bar.

3. Doing your mum was pretty bad.

4. I love green tea fraps.

5. Breasts.

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ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

Here’s a brief list of my personal favourites: grapes (high in anti-oxidants and thus better for blood flow or something), chocolate, most sea-food, strawberries, and blackcurrant juice. As long as you stay away from greasy foods and copious amounts of alcohol, you should be fine. Fast food makes it harder to maintain an erection or even get into the mood. Alcohol, for men, can increase the desire and lower the skill, as Shakespeare said, while in women it apparently has no ill effect, apart from the occasional mid-coital nap. Also, cheese is a bad idea as it makes you sleepy and gaseous all at once (and that’s not hot to most people).

Agony Art Email your Agony Art questions to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

Gotcha!

Simon

Failed Childrens’ Shows went off without a hitch! Excellent work. Visit http://www.nexusmag.co.nz/forum/viewtopic.php?p=5797 and you’ll be able to see all of the entries and previous Photochops.

Next week’s theme will be “Satan’s Birthday Cake”. Campus Pharmacy has offered a $20 gift voucher to the one deemed by Nexus judges to be the best of the bunch. Work your photo manipulation magic and win some free credit! Send ‘em in before 5PM Thurs, 3 May.

Theme: Failed Childrens’ Shows

Howdy W Doody Time by Beholder Teletubbies+Gimp by Beholder Gwar’s Happy Playtime by dj_llirik My Dad can beat up your Dad by dj_llirik High Five by Vitamin C

This Week’s Winner: “Mr T teaches Math”

by Longh@ul Longh@ul wins a $20 voucher to Campus Pharmacy. Come up to the Nexus office and claim your bounty, fool!

Kerry Dean. M.P.S.

PHONE: 838 4740 K.J. Dean Ltd. University of Waikato, Hamilton

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

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EVENT REVIEW

Slayer & Mastodon April 21st, St James Theatre

By Burton C Bogan “I’ll instigate, I’ll free your mind, I’ll show you what I’ve known all this time… GOD HATES US ALL!” There’s the distinct smell of BO, pot and leather. It smells like victory, it smells like Slayer. What do you get when you mix the happiest man in Metal (Tom Araya), the worlds angriest skinhead (and he’s up against stiff competition, Kerry King), a guy who’s drunk 90% of his life ( Jeff Hanneman) and perhaps the only man I know who can get away with a drum solo (Dave Lombardo)? One of the greatest and most influential bands in Metal history: Slayer. At the St James theatre, they blew us away. Mastodon were awesome, but I’m going to drivel on about Slayer for the whole thing because it’s my party and I’ll do what I want to! They played all the classics, my throat is still red raw from the group chant of “God Hates Us All” for the chorus of Disciple. Mix this with some amazing solos and Araya’s awesome ability of revving up any crowd with his witty repartee and big cheesy grin and you have one of the greatest gigs I’ve ever been too. It’s amazing to think that last night I was at Slayer – it still hasn’t sunk in. They finished with the classic Angel of Death. I challenge anyone to head bang to that song and not have their head feel like its going to fall off! It was amazing to see St James packed with so many proud members of the Slaytanic army.

Slayer: They’ve barely changed their style for the 26 years they’ve been together – and we wouldn’t have it any other way!

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Kerry King from Slayer, slaying all before him with a mean bagpipe solo

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

Nexus Issue 8 30 April 2007

Features

Credits

18

Prohibition

Some of the issues dealing with Marijuana prohibition in New Zealand

20

The Prohibition Quiz

Find out if you’re a Fundy or a Stoner!

Articles 26

27

Get some money Scholarships available to Waikato Uni students

WESMO Formula-SAE Some updates and interviews with WESMO

News 8-13

ANZAC Day, Uni Lakes, J Day, Short Shorts, Haikus

Photochop Challenge Metal Review Editorial Lettuce WSU columns Notices Puzzles Comics Society Pages Chuck & Benjo Walk Through

CONTRIBUTORS: ANDREW NEAL, BURTON C. BOGAN, BLAIR NICHOLSON, GARY OLIVER, SPECIAL K, VITAMIN C, JOSEPH ROSS, ADAM SMITH, HAZAZEL, LEAH GRAHAM, CANDICE BOTTOMSWORTH, NICK MAARHUIS, ISA, ROZ, MATT, JOSH, ART, PETRA JANE, JOE CITIZEN, RICHARD SWAINSON, BOULANGER, AJ ELLIOT, ADAM SMITH, WSU. NO THANKS TO MIKE MILLER.

VISIT US ONLINE @ nexusmag.co.nz AND myspace.com/nexusmagazine NEXUS IS A MEMBER OF THE AOTEAROA STUDENT PRESS ASSOCIATION (ASPA) BUT WE’RE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER, WE’RE JUST FRIENDS. THE VIEWS EXPESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, WSU OR APN.

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EDITOR: ROZ CASE (nexus@waikato.ac.nz) DESIGN: MATT SCHEURICH (graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz) ADVERTISING: TONY ARKELL (Phone 021 176 6180) NEWS ED: JOSH DRUMMOND (news@nexus-npl.co.nz) BOOKS ED: BRIE JESSEN MUSIC ED: CAPTAIN AHAB (htownahab@gmail.com)

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Los Libros Boganology Sports Thoughts Vitalisa $3 Chef Gig Guide Citric NZ Music Month Band Spotlight Books Films Arts

WANT TO ADVERTISE WITH NEXUS? EMAIL nexus@waikato.ac.nz OR PHONE 838 4653.

OR VISIT www.nexusmag.co.nz/advertising-info NEXUS IS LOCATED AT GROUND FLOOR, STUDENT UNION BUILDING, GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO, KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON. PHONE: FAX: EMAIL: POSTAL:

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Editorial

BY ROSALIND CASE

A little while ago, some students made the point at an OSM that there is no Men’s Issues Officer in the WSU executive, even though there is a Women’s Issues Officer. The point was duly noted and taken reasonably seriously by the WSU, who I understand are now engaged in a process of consultation regarding whether such a position needs to be established.

I’ve heard lots of arguments over the years regarding the Women’s Rights position on the executive and the existence of a Women’s Room on campus. And making the observation that, yes, there is a women’s room and yet, no, there is no man’s room, is reasonably glib but expected when people take the Women’s Room and the Women’s Rights Officer position out of context (which I imagine is easier to do now that the Women’s Rights Officer’s title has magically changed to ‘Women’s Issues Officer’, as if she’s responsible for handling the collective premenstrual tension of the female student body). When the Women’s Room was created, almost 30 years ago (don’t quote me on that, I’m pulling dates out of my not-terribly-reliable memory here) the University of Waikato could be a reasonably hostile place for women to attend. Once upon a time, universities were truly the domain of men - most women who accidentally wandered on to campus were just lost teachers-in-waiting. Women were not, by and large, studying the arts, or social sciences, or science, or math, or anything really. Most likely they were at home getting legally raped by their husband, popping out babies and popping in Valium. All before their 18th birthday. Yip, those were the days.

And then, slowly, there was a change. Women started seeing tertiary education as a viable

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But for those pioneering women who first ventured onto university campuses en masse and sought to level out the playing field, uni could still be a bloody awful environment to exist within. Sexual harassment (and indeed assault) was reasonably rife and, for some women, a day at university was literally like a day in a battlefield. And so, the Women’s Room was established as a safe space for women to be free from harassment and fear.

As a woman at the University of Waikato, I can’t begin to imagine what it must have been like to walk around this campus and feel unsafe. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to have no female lecturers to turn to for academic advice and support, or to look to as role models. All I can do is remember that, not so long ago, this was a reality for women at the University of Waikato. While I haven’t ever had to use the Women’s Room because I felt like I had nowhere else on campus I could safely be, harassment and discrimination still occurs within this university and there are women who remain grateful for the existence of this space. I know that as a mother I certainly appreciated having somewhere clean, safe and quiet where I could breastfeed.

If men on this campus really, honestly feel that they have issues which should be represented by the student union, then I fully support them in endeavouring to create a position on the WSU executive which reflects that.

And if men really, honestly feel unsafe and at risk due to the dominance of women on campus, then I absolutely think that a Men’s Space should be provided for them as well.

But, so far, I am yet to hear a convincing argument around any of this. Which isn’t to say that there aren’t convincing arguments out there – I can think of a number of good reasons why men should be represented by the union. But men need to think of these reasons as well and use them when proposing changes to the executive, instead of just hauling out the same old line– “we should have one ‘cos the women have one”. Sorry, but that’s not an argument. Women have an officer representing them on the executive and a womens-only space on campus because this university has not always been a safe place for them to exist. Can the same be said for men?

If there is an argument to be made for the existence of a Men’s Issues Officer (and I suspect there is) then I encourage men to actually make that argument – email your letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz and enlighten us.

Nexus Cover Art WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ/COVERART

BY MATT

Throughout my life I’ve experienced many different forms of thought, be they my own or others’.

Through these thoughts we express ourselves via our bodies—the body merely being the mechanical device that helps to sustain the mind and serves our physical needs—therefore, our thoughts control our actions and when we socialise with others, our actions are the ripples of our thoughts (I’m just justifying how I’ve experienced others’ thoughts, most likely you think I’m kooky for saying that). What I’m trying to get at is that our experiences shape and

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option. People started getting married later in life and you weren’t expected to have three kids by the time you were 21. The idea of a woman having a career which extended past her wedding day came into the public consciousness, much to the disgust of so many who regarded this as a signal that families were about to become a thing of the past and men were going to starve (with both no one to cook for them and all the single women nicking off with their jobs).

help determine our behaviour, but the knife that whittles our personality from the wooden block of experience is our perception. Everyone views things similarly to others, and differently. I find it difficult to understand why there are those who don’t want particular groups of people to function when it’s not their place to say how someone can live their life, but in saying that it only strengthens the difference in perception between myself and those who I don’t understand. When I think about it, the world as it is is fine and difference adds to the colour of life.

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

Artist: James Wilson See our arts guide for more info!

386 ANGLESEA ST, HAMILTON · OPEN 7 DAYS · PH: 07 834 3952

7

News ANZAC Day 2007 WORDS AND PHOTOS

BY ANDREW NEAL The city of Hamilton and the rest of the country gathered together last Wednesday to honour our heroes and mourn the casualties of war.

This year’s memorial in Hamilton saw large differences from past years in the form of a gigantic image of the famous Belgium Menin Gate Memorial to the Missing set alongside the War Memorial on Memorial Drive.

People flocked in their hundreds to both the dawn and 10am service which saw four delegates from the Belgium town of Leper (pronounced ee-per), as well as the Mayor of Leper, the Chairman and two buglers from the Last Post Association who played during the morning’s ceremonies.

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The Mayor of Leper Spoke to the hundreds of people present by the river and stated that they were not there “to place themselves on a pedestal,” but to show that even

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However, this memorial arch is not the only tribute that is paid to the 70,000 New Zealand troops and countless others that died at the battle of Passchendale, of which this year is the 90th anniversary. Every day at 8pm, traffic in Leper grinds to a halt while buglers and locals gather to pay tribute to the soldiers that gave their lives to defend their town in 1917. This is a process that has been repeated everyday for the last 90 years.

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The Menin Gate War Memorial to the Missing stands in the centre of the town of Leper in Belgium, and is carved with the names of 54,896 British and colonial soldiers who fell during the Battle of Passchendale during World War One, and who remain unidentified, sometimes buried in mass graves.

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though our actions only occur in a small place “they can have a resounding effect on the rest of the world”. In his speech he drew many similarities between New Zealand and the small Belgium town that pays tribute to our fallen every evening.

Mayor Michael Redman also spoke of the privilege it was to have the Belgian delegates visiting Hamilton.

“It’s an honour to be hosting delegates from Leper, a town that epitomises the phrase Lest We Forget,” he said.

During the wreath laying ceremony Labour MP Diane Yates placed her wreath and then took a moment to reflect. Behind her walked MPs Nandor Tanczos and David Bennett. As they laid their memoriam down they stood in silence next to Yates. It was a true tribute to the fallen souls of our armed services to see these three people put politics aside, even for a moment, to honour the fallen.

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0800 4 LK DIRECT

0800 4 55 347 connects you to your nearest Liquor King store.

HILLCREST Cnr Clyde & York Sts, Hamilton • Phone: 07 856 9170 • Fax: 07 8569169 • Email: liquorking.hillcrest@lk.co.nz Valid until close of trade Sunday 6th May 2007 at Hillcrest store only. While stocks last. We reserve the right to limit quantities. Trade not supplied. All major credit cards accepted. Excludes all other promotions & discounts.

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

www.liquorking.co.nz

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NEWS

Uni Lakes

Smoke pot and get on TV

Pristine and Delicious

By Mournsbury J Scuttlebutt

Nexus recently ran a couple of articles on the condition of the University Lakes, known by some as the Poo Ponds and similar names. Professor David Hamilton, Chair of Lakes Management at the University, wrote in to clear up the issue a bit:

Marijuana aficionados (also known as stoners, pot-heads, weed-eaters, menaces to society, dead-beats, bums, fiends, and a whole lot of other stuff) from around the country will be congregating at specific sites to celebrate International J Day – if they can remember to show up.

The campus lakes (Knighton, Chapel and Oranga) are ‘eutrophic’, meaning enriched with nutrients and occasionally subject to algal blooms.

The shallow depth and small volume of these lakes – a legacy of the original excavation – mean that they are particularly susceptible to being eutrophic. Chapel is the deepest of the lakes and also has better water quality. The shallowness of the lakes mean that they have limited capacity to assimilate nutrients coming from the campus catchment (including the University grounds and some of the University’s stormwater system) and from the bottom sediments of the lakes.

Consideration has been given to deepening the lakes but disposal of the dredged material and impacts on the biota are proving difficult obstacles to overcome.

The lakes do, however, support a wide variety of native species (e.g. short-finned eel, common bully) and exotic species (e.g. catfish, feral goldfish, rudd and mosquito fish), as well as abundant populations of waterbirds (e.g. mallard ducks, shags, coots). Most coliform bacteria in the lake are likely to originate from waterbirds.

Control of some of the exotic species of fish has been carried with fyke nets by Facilities Management Division in conjunction with the Department of Biological Sciences. Up to 1,300 catfish have been removed in one go in the past.

After the harvest of Potamogeton crispus, algal blooms tend to occur. Occasionally a species Euglena sanguinea accumulates in large numbers and floats to the water surface, producing a red scum. Cyanobacteria also form blooms, in common with many natural Waikato lakes, and these blooms can occasionally be toxic. Contact recreation is not recommended when there are blooms – let alone any consideration of ingesting the water!

Best advice: use your senses of sight and smell (and taste) – they’ve served humans well in the past!

The National Organisation for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) calls J Day “a protest against cannabis prohibition and celebration of Aotearoa’s cannabis culture.” The idea is for cannabis users to front up in a public place to smoke weed.

Events will be held in Auckland, Hamilton, Wellington, Christchurch and Dunedin, and are being supported the Hempstore, Cannabis Culture magazine, and the Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis party.

“This year’s campaign will be especially in support of the Green’s medical marijuana bill that is before parliament and are calling on medical patients to come to J Day to demonstrate their support,” according to NORML. So expect to pass your doobie around to terminal cancer patients as well as your usual smoke-sucking buddies.

Fulbright Awards

By Hsoj the Greek The Scholarships Office is bringing a team from the Fulbright Awards to present a seminar on May 3.

The Fulbright awards are a series of prestigious scholarships offered to students by the Fulbright New Zealand educational foundation. Fulbright specialises in offering scholarships for New Zealand and US students, both under-and post-graduate, who want to study and research in either country.

The Fulbright programme was set up in the wake of World War 2, where allied nations owing the US money for surplus war products were offered a debt write-off in return for participating in the Fulbright programme.

According to Fulbright, the programme is the “world’s largest binational education programme, operating in over 150 countries.”

Since 1948, over 1,300 New Zealanders have travelled to the United States and some 1,100 Americans have come to New Zealand on Fulbright awards.

The seminar will be presented by the Fulbright team on Thursday 3 May, from 10.00 to 11.30 in L2. The Scholarships Office invites all interested staff and students to attend.

THE RIV AND DB BREWERIES PRESENT

THE TOUR DE TOKI WEDNESDAY 2ND MAY 2007, 7PM Enter your team of four in this fun event. Bike around an electronic north island map.

The fastest team to reach the Mangatinoka brewery wins. Bar tabs andTui clothing to be won!

COME IN FOR YOUR BURGER, BEER AND CHIPS $5 DEAL, THEN STAY ON FOR SOME REAL HUMOUR!

The Riv Bar & Cafe WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

CLYDE ST SHOPPING CENTRE, CNR GRAY & CLYDE ST, HAMILTON EAST PH: 856 8508 ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

NEWS

Maori participation in tertiary education decreases

By Matt Russell - Chaff Recently released Ministry of Education statistics show a decreasing participation rate of Maori students enrolling in tertiary study, down 3.4% overall from 2004.

Compared with other ethnicities, Maori are still participating to a higher proportion, although Maori still lag significantly behind Pakeha in overall participation.

Association of University Staff (AUS) Maori Officer, Naomi Manu said concerns arose over the fact that the majority of Maori

learners are still concentrated in the lower levels of tertiary-education, and that Maori students at bachelors level are more likely to be aged twenty-five years and over. She said that Maori participation at lower levels of tertiary education comes as a result of “secondary schooling failing Maori”.

“Many Maori are constantly in catch-up mode, so that, rather than entering at higher levels, many Maori enter tertiary education to receive the education and training that they should have received at school”, she said.

Victor Manawatu, Kaituhono (President) of Te Mana Akonga (National Maori Tertiary Students’ Association) said the drop

off can also be attributed to the current student loan scheme, combined with changes in the labour market that have seen more Maori entering employment.

“The inequalities of the loan scheme coupled with increasing opportunities for trade employment means some Maori are simply choosing to work instead of study.

But yes, the stats show that achievement rates for Maori in secondary education is a primary issue as well”, he says.

He further commented that the government’s current Te Kotahitanga scheme aimed at addressing underachievement among Maori is “too limited.”

… and there’s a bit of a debt problem, too.

Daniel Copeland - Gyro New Zealand’s student debt has now reached $9 billion. According to Maori Party co-leader Dr Pita Sharples, the proportion of that debt owed by Maori is $1.25 billion -- “nearly twice the amount paid out in Treaty settlements to date.

The mind just boggles at the effects this level of debt is having on students, workers and whanau.”

Maori are often reluctant to get into debt, Sharples says, and hence many turn away from the more expensive degree courses.

“While around 130,000 Maori students participate in tertiary education a year, the latest census figures show there have only been around 10,000 bachelor degrees awarded to Maori over the last five years.”

The result, as Maori Party finance spokesperson Hone Harawira says, is that “Maori students are more likely to study at certificate and diploma levels, they move into lower paying jobs, and consequently they take longer to repay loan debt, than do their non-Maori counterparts.”

of high Maori participation in tertiary education -- but with no thought or care about how the cost of education determines who studies what, which in turn, impacts on who gets what jobs, and who gets the jobs with decent pay packets attached.”

Research by the New Zealand Union of Students Association shows that Maori have greater debt aversion due to fears about repayment. They are less likely to take on higher cost courses (such as degree programmes) due to the risk of incurring significant debt and financial pressure.

Maori student debt, says Sharples, “is dismissed by Government as a consequence

Survey states the obvious

By Matt Russell - Chaff A Massey University survey shows that 70 percent of New Zealanders would like to see more government investment in education.

The survey is part of the International Social Survey Programme, which involves leading academic institutions in 40 countries.

Surveys cover a different topic every year in a roughly seven-year cycle: The last on the role of government was in 1997.

10

The report concluded that there is strong support for spending increases in key areas like health, education and law enforcement.

Joey Randall, Co-President of the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations responded to the report, saying it “Proves what we’ve known all along, the Government has the public support to introduce a living allowance for all students.”

However, the report’s author, Professor Phil Gendall from Massey’s Department of Marketing, points out the question related to overall Government investment

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

in education, and did not distinguish between tertiary or secondary education.

The survey did ask whether Government should give financial help to university students from low-income families, with Eighty percent of those surveyed responding in the affirmative. The most recent Student Loans and Allowances report from Statistics New Zealand shows that the number of students receiving allowances has dropped by 11,000 since 2000, while average student-loan borrowing has risen.

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NEWS

Victoria Uni Women’s Rights Officer fired!

Uni Open Day!

Like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, only without Willy Wonka, Charlie and chocolates

Psychic hotline didn’t see it coming

BY LAURA MCQUILLAN A VUWSA exec member has been removed from her post and another has resigned in less than two weeks.

Former Acting Women’s Rights Officer (WRO) Clelia Opie had her co-option rescinded after threatening to hurt and kill exec members and making over $4000 worth of phone calls to what VUWSA Clubs Officer Melissa Barnard describes as “psychic hotlines”.

The VUWSA exec is currently working with the University to have the full cost of the phone calls added to Opie’s student records, to prohibit her from adding or changing courses or graduating until the money is repaid to VUWSA.

Unitec funds puppy-kicking research, seeks volunteers

And they call Waikato degrees weird…

BY RORY MACKINNON Researchers from Auckland University, AUT and Unitec’s School of Natural Sciences are seeking volunteers for a new study examining a possible link between family violence and animal abuse.

The study is being funded by Unitec and carried out on behalf of First Strike, a campaign by the Animal Welfare Institute of New Zealand in order to improve co-operation between law enforcement and animal welfare agencies. Head researcher and programme coordinator for Unitec’s School of Natural Sciences’ Animal Welfare Investigations Arnja Dale says the results of the study could prove “a valuable contribution to the knowledge base needed to tackle this problem in our communities.”

Also working on the project are Nick Garrett of AUT and Dr. Jill Goldson of Auckland University. As a trained counsellor herself, Goldson will interview volunteers anonymously over the phone and arrange further counselling for subjects if requested. Goldson would like to hear from all victims of domestic violence, regardless of whether or not animal abuse was involved.

“We’re looking to see in what cases of domestic violence animal cruelty is also implicated, and we’re also interested in knowing the abusers’ attitudes towards animals in the house – whether they thrash them or carry out acts of cruelty, and also whether worries about domestic pets stop the victim from leaving a dangerous home and going into a refuge.”

Although the study began in 2005, the First Strike campaign has received increased media exposure in recent weeks in relation to the Section 59 ‘Anti-Smacking’ Bill. Agriculture Minister and Progressive Party Leader Jim Anderton has voiced support for the campaign, citing a US study in 1999 which found that boys with a history of corporal punishment were two and a half times more likely to have abused animals.

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Waikato University is hosting its annual Open Day on Friday 4 May. Members of the public, munchkins from various secondary schools, and plenty of random transients – and of course, current students – are expected to show up to the Hamilton Campus in droves to experience a day of “mini-lectures, free advice and interactive displays, as well as entertainment and competitions,” according to the University.

“On behalf of the University of Waikato, I am delighted to welcome you to our annual Open Day on campus.

We look forward to showing you how our University can provide you with a first-class tertiary education experience,” said Vice-Chancellor Roy Crawford in a brochure.

Activities will include a Sports Challenge at the Uni Rec Centre, the ubiquitous Wai Taiko Drummers, and Hamilton covers band par excellence Missing Link.

There will also be mini-lectures, which from experience seem to be designed to give the impression that Uni is really fun and interesting, when it’s really mostly drudgery, Marxism and Management.

Government to examine new way of milking international students

Suggests Waikato due to dairy expertise The government wants a new approach to international education to ensure this sector contributes more to helping New Zealand compete and prosper on the world stage.

That’s the aim of the government’s international education strategy discussion document released today.

“New Zealand needs a more integrated, sustainable and forward-thinking approach to international education which goes well beyond the traditional export education focus,” said Tertiary Education Minister Michael Cullen today.

“The International Education Agenda outlines this new approach while continuing to build on the achievements of recent years.”

Over 93,000 international students from 150 countries were studying in New Zealand in 2006. While numbers have declined from a peak in 2002, the 2006 figures represent an 84 per cent increase since 2000. The economic returns to New Zealand are in the order of $1.9 billion annually; making it our third largest services export.

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NEWS

Execution Chocolate-mint eggs were bandied about with abandon at the latest meeting of the WSU Executive. Nexus arrived only slightly late for a change and was dutifully filled in on the stuff it had missed by a dutiful and chipper James “Elmo” Harnett. Apparently a group of Solomon Islands students are organising a Tsunami Relief benefit for 12 May. Good for them.

The Executive sat huddled around a group of tables, their voices bouncing sadly off the walls of a room that was mysteriously free of junk for a change. Nexus thinks that the way Guru’s Lounge keeps filling up with and then suddenly losing stuff has something to do with the WSU being involved in the international arms trade. There were also two children present, which made Nexus think that the WSU might also be involved in people-trafficking. They sat at a side table, eating sweets and chips and colouring in, while displaying a total lack of interest in the proceedings. Nexus envied them.

A kind exec member – no idea who – gave Nexus a chocolate mint egg. It was like mint, only chocolate-y.

The meeting turned to the matter of Vince Malcolm-Buchanan (Nexus’ favourite ravenhaired Mature Students Officer, who looks vaguely like a kindly Red Indian from a 1960’s Western) and his mystery resignation – in the pages of Nexus, no less.

“The President would like to move on,” said President Orgad, with a tight smile. “I suggest a vote of thanks for all his time and effort.” She winked cheekily. What could that mean? Nexus wondered as the Ayes had it.

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Geoff Hawkes, the Disabilities Officer, then had a talk about the oft-debated and absolutely-nothing-ever-actually-done-aboutit-ever FM Frequency the WSU owns/leases/ something. “It’s going along nicely,” said Hawkes. “But there’s not a lot I can say in a public arena,” he added darkly, as one of the children blew a tactful raspberry.

Orgad did some talking about the Noho Marae thing for international students: it has apparently been approved for full funding.

WSU will accordingly fund $1000. “Not even ow!” cried someone in a desperate attempt at humour. There was some polite laughter.

Then there was applause for Vice President Moira Neho and XXXX for graduating.

“They got the clap,” Elmo whisper-chuckled.

One of the children gave Elmo another mint egg, while refusing Nexus one. The children leaped away in a sugar-induced frenzy, crawling over couches to determined ignorance from the Exec. Nexus wondered how it would look if it joined in the fun.

Orgad began talking about something to do with the WSU President being appointed to the University Council, but Nexus missed it on account of the children constantly running up to offer Elmo chips and laughing at Nexus’ mute entreaties. Orgad mentioned the upcoming University Stakeholder’s meeting and said it would be “good for networking” So is MySpace, Sehai.

Orgad also talked about the Student Hub, which now exists in more than just the Architect’s and Roy Crawford’s minds – it’s on paper. There was some more stuff about the Rangatahi Business Comp, the Uni Games, and some other thing. Uproarious applause as the President’s report was accepted. “She got

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

the clap again,” said Elmo. It wasn’t as funny this time around. Elmo stood to scuttlebutt about upcoming events. The Student Ball has been upgraded from “maybe” to “actually happening” and tickets are now on sale. The Exec giggled like schoolchildren on Ecstasy as Elmo handed out tickets. “It’s going ahead wickedly,” said Elmo, using his favourite adjective. He alluded to mysterious ball-related stuff that Nexus won’t publish, but would like to. One of the children at last gave Nexus a chip. Success! Moira Neho’s Vice Pres Report began as Nexus tried to figure out who the kids belonged to. Using intuition and a canny analysis of racial and facial characteristics, Nexus deduced that they might belong to Glen Delamere, the Sport and Rec Officer.

The fact one called him “Dad” helped.

Neho’s report was mostly staid, but contained the most astounding news Nexus has ever heard – apparently her office contains an “All-Knowing Wall Planner.” Nexus will use this to be at major disasters as they happen, and provide readers with exclusive news reports. And also to win lotto.

The Union Manager, David West, began his report talking about the Nexus News Editor job, and added that some protection against thieving should be instigated in the WSU building, as some things have gone missing. Sadly, Nexus was again distracted by Delamere’s imps, who gleefully insisted on showing Nexus balls of coloured foil. Delamere impressively managed to control the shineobsessed kids, giving Nexus the opportunity to pick up that $5000 in compensation had been agreed upon from the company that horribly mismanaged the WSU Diary printing.

And on that bombshell, Nexus left.

WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

NEWS

Haiku News

By Drummond-san

Fisher and Paykel to manufacture offshore, 350 jobs in danger

Murder accused hit boy but was good mum, court told

Nice Kiwi company Wants cheap labour.

Watch out for dirty laundry

“She was a good mum,” accused’s friend told court.

Everyone else: “No, she’s not.”

Child’s McDonald’s meal comes with condom

Spinal Tap reunite to fight global warming

McDonalds: due to health concerns All our meals will Come with protection

“Keep on carbon emittin: Temperatures will go up to 11.”

Mike King diagnosed with heart problems

Field’s lawyers frustrated with lack of progress

Poor King’s heart might baulk Why? Easy: Too little puha, Too much pork.

Lawyers having trouble with this case They need some bribes To grease the rails.

Pair found guilty of four charges in meth-smuggling trial

Hatred of late nights

(The P was found hidden in a bunch of water filters) What if they’d auctioned them on Trade Me? “Water filters, filled with free P.”

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ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

By Matt I have a bad cold Late night at work and it sucks I’m so ronery

13

Lettuce

Lettuce policy

Nexus loves it when you give it some attention via the Lettuce page. We want to hear about your thoughts, views and opinions on anything so don’t be afraid to put down your words and send them to nexus@waikato.ac.nz. We’d appreciate the letters before Tuesday 5 PM but you’re more than welcome to send letters whenever you’d like. The best letter will win a $5 Voucher from Campus Kiosk, located at the Cowshed.

Nexus welcomes your letters and encourages debate through the lettuce page, just keep it under 250 words. Letters must be received by 5 PM Tuesday, no later. Letters may be edited for sense, length and/or legal reasons. Psuedonyms are welcome but you must also include your real name and contact details (don’t worry, they won’t be printed). We discourage the use of psuedonyms on serious letters.

Letter of the Week Bring back Contact FM Dear Nexus, While there is an ongoing issue around the use of the WSU-owned 89fm frequency, Contact continues to broadcast on 88.1fm.

support to any services whatsoever - since those that lose money deserve to perish and those that earn money need no support.

who don’t otherwise hear their views on mainstream radio – and the list goes on!

The WSU exists to provide services to its members – that is its sole raison d’etre. Radio is an extremely efficient way of providing a wide array of those services. If the WSU executive will not pursue the 89fm frequency, then they should turn their attention to supporting Contact in its current incarnation.

It is a fair to argue that in its current location on the spectrum, Contact can never be commercially viable (in the way that, for example, Nexus can). But it would be wrong to conclude from this that Contact deserves no support from the WSU.

Leaving aside all the many questions this raises about the historical rights and wrongs of the sale of Contact; I would like to suggest that a campus radio station has enormous potential to provide a wide range of services for students, and that it should be seen as inherently valuable simply because of this potential.

This was the mistake that was made by the proponents for the sale of Contact eight or nine years ago: that the value of a campus service is to be measured solely by its ability to turn a profit, and that therefore the WSU has no responsibility to provide

I urge the WSU to consider all the services that Contact can and does provide for students; from real-world broadcasting training, to a community noticeboard, to the organisation of orientation events, to airing shows that provide for groups

Geoffrey Doube

WSU is failing students by not focussing on student culture. The WSU should be putting on loads of events all through the year. And its criminal that Waikato University does not have a proper student radio station.

Most university towns have two or three.

Contact is cool, but without support from the WSU it will always be struggling.

Peter William

Imagine if you didn’t have to trudge all the way to Victoria St to have a few drinks, but instead could enjoy a fucken choice night out on campus, with cheap drinks and no harassment from bouncers etc.

Bring back moaning

Bring back Contact FM Dear Nexus, Why doesn’t the Student Union care about student culture? Orientation sucks – and I say that as a mature returning student who can remember the Orientations of the ‘good old days’. Yes, I’m an old fart (laugh all you want) but current students don’t realise how much different the campus culture is compared to how it used to be.

Orientations used to feature heaps of international bands and comedians and that kind of stuff. Now we’re lucky if we get a local reggae band and a sausage sizzle.

Bring back Contact fm!! Bring back the Bongo!!

And get rid of that fucken Coke mural!!

The reason why its so crap nowadays? The

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ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

Yours truly,

Excellent points raised. You win a cookie – actually, you win a $5 Campus Kiosk voucher which will allow you to buy a whole lotta cookies. Yeah!

Bring back Kahu Dear Editor Where is Kahu?

Lover of Kahu

Dear lovely new editor lady, i am sick to death of reading moaning baby’s letters, whining about shit like the ‘lack’ of carparks at this fine university we study at. if they cant get to uni by 9am (its not like you’re driving from Taupo are you?), then too bad for those lazy sluts. maybe they should park on knighton road, or any of the adjoining streets

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LETTUCE that circle the uni. it is a one minute walk from any of these streets to the gate one carpark, so unless you’ve lost your legs, it wont kill you. furthermore, the university has plenty of carparks. next time you visit auckland, dunedin, or wellington, try getting a park near their unis during a term day and see how you do. Vic uni in particular has one road that snakes up past the uni, with 180 minute parks, only on one side. you literally have to either park below the hill in the city and catch a cable car, walk up the hill, or park over the top of Kelbourn, then walk down and back up for ten minutes after class. Then to read these bitches complain about getting $12 parking fines for parking too long in a 180 min carpark! You fool, not only is it warranted, it isnt even that much. you would pay that to park in a major city carpark anyway.

When will people wake up and smell the facts (or is that the stench from the uni lakes?) and realise that they’re driving to a university, not the matamata rugby clubrooms carpark.

While im on the subject of people moaning like pornstars, whats up with all the hate towards coke and their great mural they had going?! personally, i liked it, and not only that, i think they should put more up. they could even buy the naming rights for the uni. i know that Waikato Coke University may sound like some sort of drug-infested institution, but hey, at least coke might be a bit cheaper on campus. and yes, i fully realise the hypocrasy of the last sentance. in conclusion, all i have to say is that emos must be alive and well on campus. hmmm, maybe there should be an Emo’s rights officer?

Whoever the battyboy was that suggested there be a mens’ rights officer should maybe bring this up at the next WSU meeting. at least then itd clear up the lettuce section of nexus for some good old christian vs gays letters! gosh

they were great fun! peace out Raving Ranter.

0ETER $AVID

Bring back midnight closing

0H

Dear Nexus As this is my fourth year in studies at the university of Waikato I feel it is my right, no – my obligation ./2-!,,9 to say my piece and express my concern and disappointment for the absence of the rehabilitation of the Hillcrest Tavern. For an establishment that has been an institution for over thirty years, I feel embarrassed for the first and second year students that they have not yet experienced the full extent of the Waikato student life.

Everyone knows the classic scenario of getting on the sauce on a Wednesday getting back from class, training ect Extremely thirsty, through some dinner on or line up at the door of the hostel eatery, when you finally get down business, as the music gets louder and the empty vessels increase in number and you have finally convinced the stereotypical mate with the significant other that is staying in, to just come and have a quiet few, all well knowing that when the twelve o’clock buss pulls up he is well into the swing of things and the first in line. All students from my era would agree that the hillcrest tavern was by far the best and most enjoyable student bar in town, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that as soon as this bar gets up and running it stands to make a lot of money. Upon

!LSO AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE APPT

25 345$%.4 30%#)!,

$

#OME VISIT THE STALL ON #AMPUS AT THE "ANKS n 7EDNESDAY 4HURSDAY

reading this article you have already taken on the responsibility to do something about it. No matter who you are together we can all fight this injustice and make a difference for the greater good of the community.

Regards, Disgruntled Fourth Year.

Bring back the poo smell After all the bad rep that the poo smell has been getting outside the banks you would think the university would think twice before subjecting its students, to yet again, another stinky smell. I would have to say that this has definatly increased on the stinky smell metre. I am talking about the manure they have placed on the new garden outside S block. Surely they would have done this at the start of the study break allowing the smell to decrease a bit.

What is environmental officer Claire doing about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......

From Sensitive nostrils.

Bring Back Vince Dear Vince

CITIZENS’ ADVICE BUREAU

The darn thing won’t start!

Desmond bought a new lawnmower, but is having trouble starting it. What are his options?

The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other hassles you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge data base to help answer anyone’s questions.

Visit them at the Cowshed from 11am – 2pm daily during semesters or phone 838 4466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB. By the way the Consumer Guarantees Act states that goods must be of

‘acceptable quality’, which in this situation clearly means a new, reliable machine.

Desmond can ask the shop to repair the mower so it starts as it should.

If they are unable to do so within a reasonable time, or refuse to do so, he can ask for a replacement new mower without the fault, or get a refund. A refund under the Act means exactly that – a full cash refund – not a credit note, and not a refund less deductions for anything related to the failure of the goods.

As a mature student I am aghast you have parted company with little rationalization as to what internal issues have motivated you to resign from your portfolio. If there is quandaries within WSU gratify your colleagues and constituents with what they may be divulge us with your wisdom.

At least we know that “Buck� was screwed by the NZRFU, was someone in the WSU screwing you? Who will facilitate and instigate with you gone? Where are we going to be with out your repertoire of extensive vocabulary and grammatical intellect within Nexus?

You will forever be remembered as the old man who handed out lollypops‌ Mature Student

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15

Uni Games 2007

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ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

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Kia hiwa rā, kia hiwa rā...

Tēnei rā te karanga atu ki ngā tauira Māori ki te huitahi, hei whakawhiti kōrero mō te whakatūnga o tētehi roopu hai māngai mō tātou i roto i ngā take ā-rohe (Waikato Student Union) me ngā take ā-motu (Te Mana Akonga).

A meeting is to be called for all Māori Students to attend to discuss the establishment of a group to represent Māori Students in regional issues (Waikato Student Union) and National issues(Te Mana Akonga).

Why do we need a group?

-

-

-

-

So that we have a national voice concerning issues that affect all Māori students, e.g. the axing of Mānaki Tauira.

So that Māori can have a say in how their fees to the student union are spent.

So that we can hold wānanga and whānau hui on a regular basis.

So that we can have pūtea available to be able assist with travel costs to tangihanga.

With an established Māori group students can access funding to facilitate:

- - - - - -

Hui Wānanga To attend events such as Te Huinga Tauira Monies for emergencies, like tangihanga Go on haerenga Hui whakangāhau

DAY:

Wednesday 9th of May 2007 TIME: 12pm VENUE: A Block

A sausage sizzle will be provided

F

or a number of years now, organisations like NORML (National Organisation for the Reform of Marijuana Laws) and the Green Party have been campaigning for the decriminalisation of cannabis.

Like the smacking debate, marijuana law reform is one of those topics which just about everybody has an opinion about. And there are fair arguments to be made by both sides of this argument. Having grown up in a society where the prohibition of marijuana is generally accepted and unquestioned by the majority of people, it’s difficult for most of us to imagine what it would be like to live in a country where we could grow, sell and ingest marijuana freely. Indeed, the only comparison most of us have to draw on is images of Amsterdam, where it seems that marijuana decriminalisation is associated with lots of hookers, some seriously bad techno and cravings for whole raw herrings.

While we’re reasonably divided as nation as to whether or not pot should be legal, those opinions don’t seem to have a major bearing on our usage of the drug. Most New Zealand adults have used marijuana and you don’t have to look very far on this campus to find

a number of chronic, daily users (who still, somehow, manage to come to university). So while most of us accept that occasional or social use of marijuana is generally acceptable (and poses less immediate risk to the user than drugs like alcohol) that doesn’t necessarily translate to a belief that marijuana itself should be legal. Indeed, the fact that most of us have used marijuana and yet do not have a criminal record probably contributes to the fact that we don’t see the decriminalisation of marijuana as a highly urgent or important manner.

That said, New Zealand does have the highest recorded cannabis arrest rate in the world, with around 600 per 100,000 people arrested per year. However, since the Labour government came to power in 1999, cannabis arrests have dropped from 94% of all drugs arrests to 78% of drug arrests. This probably has more to do with the accessibility of ‘other drugs’ (specifically methamphetamine) and the decision of the police to turn their attention towards these harder drugs which have a far more visible and severe impact on communities than marijuana.

Some Arguments for Marijuana Decriminalisation (according to NORML) •

Penalties against drug use should not be more damaging to an individual

New Zealand has the highest recorded cannabis arrest rate in the world 18

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

•

•

• •

than the use of the drug itself.

For those minority of cannabis smokers who do graduate to harder substances, it is cannabis prohibition -- which forces users to associate with the illicit drug black market -- rather than the use of cannabis itself, that often serves as a doorway to the world of hard drugs.

We need more compassionate drug policies that help people rather than punish them.

If cannabis is decriminalised, it could be regulated and controlled Taxation of cannabis would provide an income stream for government capable of funding alcohol and drug prevention and treatment on a scale required to make a difference.

Some arguments against Marijuana decriminalisation (according to my Mum) •

Decriminalisation will lead to an

DRUG ARRESTS 1998-2005 Year

Other drugs

Cannabis-only

1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005

1583 (5.9 %) 25309 (94.1 %) 1640 (6.2 %) 24687 (93.8 %) 2070 (8.4 %) 22660 (91.6 %) 2212 (8.9 %) 22740 (91.1 %) 2841 (11.9 %) 21034 (88.1 %) 3545 (15.1 %) 19897 (84.8 %) 3502 (17.6 %) 16409 (82.4 %) 4224 (22.3 %) 14713 (77.7 %)

Source: Police Crime statistics

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Marijuana decriminalisation is associated with lots of hookers, some seriously bad techno and cravings for raw herrings.

• • • • •

•

increase in marijuana use Marijuana can trigger mental illness in vulnerable individuals Marijuana is a ‘gateway’ drug leading to other addictions Marijuana contains just as many cancer-causing agents as tobacco Marijuana impairs memory Decriminalisation sends conflicting messages to young people and makes it looks as if the state actually condones the use of drugs The decriminalisation of marijuana is simply another opportunity for the government to reap taxes

Medical marijuana Under current law, the Minister of Health has the power under section 14 of the Misuse of Drugs Act and associated regulations to issue licences permitting medicinal cannabis use.

The regulations state that a patient must have the written backing of their doctor (GP) and a relevant specialist, and must have tried all other available medicines and found that they don’t work but that cannabis does. While a number of people have made applications to receive such a licence, no one has ever received one.

Metireia Turei of the Green Party currently has a Medicinal Cannabis bill before parliament, which seeks to decriminalise the use of cannabis in the treatment of symptoms relating to a variety of disorders and make it legal for doctors to prescribe marijuana. Proponents of this bill claim that marijuana is effective as: •

•

•

An anti-nausea treatment for people undergoing chemotherapy or treatment for AIDS An appetite-stimulant which counteracts HIV-related “wasting”, allowing individuals with HIV and AIDS to gain weight and thus extend the length of their lives A treatment to reduce muscle WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

•

•

spasms and increase motor control in individuals with neuromuscular disorders such as multiple sclerosis, epilepsy, Parkinsons, etc.

A treatment to limit brain damage after stroke and to healt the growth of normally fatal brain tumours A pain reliever for chronic pain (and less debilitating than Morphine)

When I grow up, I want to be a hemp farmer Hemp fibre is made from the stalks of the cannabis plant and is renowned as being the strongest, longest and most durable natural fibre around. While Hemp plants are of the cannabis family, they aren’t actually marijuana plants and contain only the teeniest bit of THC (which wouldn’t do a thing if you tried to smoke it). Hemp can be used to make clothing, accessories, nappies, and anything else fabric. It acts as an effective sunscreen (blocking out 95% of the sun’s rays). Hemp can also be used for making paper which doesn’t require bleaching and can be recycled many times. Environmentalists have long argued for the commercial growing of Hemp as it considered to be one of the most ecologically sustainable crops to grow, requiring very few (if any) pesticides. It also yields a large amount of fibre per acre compared to plants like cotton – one million pairs of jeans would require only 2000 – 4000 acres of land. Farmers can also expect high returns from hemp cultivation – currently, hemp nets about $800 per acre per year as compared to $330 per acre for wheat and $250 for cattle.

Although the price of hemp would likely decrease as supply increased to meet demand.

Hemp seeds are useful for the oil contained within them – this oil contains a number of fatty acids and amino acids which are required by humans for healthy growth and cell development. The seeds are full of protein and can potentially be used in the same way ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

as soybeans are (as a substitute for meat). Hemp seed oil may also be useful in the production of bio-fuels and it makes a nice hand cream too.

Hemp is pretty much a wonderplant (although it can’t get you high, so it’s not really that fabulous). So why can’t it be grown industrially? Well, we can’t seem to find any argument against it. It seems that it is simply Hemps distant cousin-type relationship with the type of cannabis that you roll up and smoke which prevents farmers from being able to grow this amazing crop.

However, the Ministry of Health has been running a trial for the last few years whereby farmers can apply for licences to grow hemp industrially. They have to certify that the seed does not contain more that 0.35% w/w THC, maintain a register as required by the Misuse of Drugs Regulations, provide reports as requested and make the site open for inspection at all times.

J–Day NORML is proud to present International J Day, also known as the Million Marijuana March in over 200 cities around the world, on Saturday 5th May 2007.

J Day is a protest against cannabis prohibition and celebration of Aotearoa’s cannabis culture.

This year we are campaigning especially in support of the Green’s medical marijuana bill that is before parliament and are calling on medical patients to come to J Day to demonstrate their support.

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FEATURE

Alcohol should be...

Hangovers are...

1) Banned forever 2) Strictly controlled by the government and reptilian shapeshifters 3) Available for everybody over the age of 16 to purchase and consume 4) Coming out of our taps and also mothers’ breasts

The worst thing about alcohol is...

When the Police find illicit drugs on your person...

1) It comes from Satan 2) It makes men beat up their wives and innocent teenage girls get pregnant out of wedlock 3) When people are drunk, they are more likely to engage in activities which potentially put the lives of themselves and others at risk 4) Catching Gonorrhoea. For the seventh time.

1) You have the right to remain silent.

2) You have the right to a lawyer.

3) You have the right to be handcuffed and penetrated with a baton.

4) All of the above.

When psychoactive drugs are made illegal...

Moonshine is...

1) Evil home distilled illegal spirits – Jesus tells us, there’s a reason why they’re called ‘spirits’!

2) Being dazzled blind by a browneye you never should have seen.

3) A schmaltzy song by some old crooner your Grandpa listens to.

4) What you take a girl to gaze at as a pretext for copping a feel.

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1) Not sure, but can be both prevented and cured by prayer.

2) Caused by a combination of alcohol poisoning, electrolyte depletion and dehydration.

3) Horrible, but fairly inevitable.

4) Easily cured with a few shots of methylated spirits.

1) God and His angels reign over earth and all the derelict Satan worshippers go back to hell, from whence they came 2) Children are safe and the divorce rate goes down 3) A black market usually develops in order to maintain supply 4) Nature dies and the world becomes a cultureless, musicless, barren wasteland of conservative ignorance

Prohibition did not work with alcohol, but it will work with marijuana because...

1) Opponents of marijuana prohibition are too forgetful to ever mount an organised political challenge to the status quo.

2) It’s easier to prohibit a plant that grows like a weed than a chemical that can only be produced under controlled conditions.

3) Marijuana has some therapeutic benefit, unlike alcohol.

4) Old rich white men do not smoke marijuana.

International J Day (Saturday May 5th) is...

1) The day before Sunday, when we worship the Lord, who made all things, but not marijuana. Satan made that.

2) It’s when proponents of marijuana legislation reform and other stoners of all kinds gather to smoke weed in public places in defiance of prohibition laws.

3) I’ll be in the park with the others. See you there.

4) Woo! Woooooooooo!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’m Gleaming the Cube!

If you scored mostly A’s:

If you scored mostly B’s:

If you scored mostly C’s:

If you scored mostly D’s:

Congratulations! You join other noted Christian Fundamentalists Brian Tamaki and Graham Capill as staunch defenders of prohibition, temperance and sobriety. While not sure what drugs are or what they do, you’re sure they’re very, very bad and satanic and despite constant temptation, you never indulge. Praise the Lord, from whom all prohibitions floweth.

You’re the average Kiwi mainstreamer. You’re mostly informed by the mainstream media and the mainstream mate of a mate whose daughter went Gothic and took E once and got kicked out of home, so drugs are bad, mmkay? But hey, least your information doesn’t come from a hypothetical deity via a book of ancient barbarian history and fairy tales.

Your well-rounded views see the bigger picture, where drug abuse is (of course) bad, but occasional indulgence… not so much. You probably drink, and hell, you might have even puffed the magic dragon now and then.

Voon! Your brain resembles an irradiated sponge, because of your constant abuse of drugs of all kinds, from alcohol to solvents to superglue. But that doesn’t matter, because your riddled synapses are providing you with a waaaaay trippy view of the clouds as you lie on your back, choking on your own spew in a gutter.

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I work in IT, so naturally most of my time is spent in various tearooms. The number of articles bubbling over with bad dating advice for all is staggering. Just this morning in fact, I pick up magazine ‘X’, and with dropped jaw, and unbelieving eyes read that women should ‘try to be similar to other women he likes, his ex, or a supermodel he admires.’

I don’t even know were to start with that one. ‘Ex’ means former and implies no longer, so why someone would want to emulate that situation if they are aiming for a romantic relationship of any substance is beyond me. Shortly after dissolution of any relationship, identical looks and mannerisms to the departed company are only likely to increase the cringe factor of your prospective partner over the short term.

As for the supermodel comment; this is a pretty unrealistic objective for some women.

Yes, aesthetics are important and typically the most important factor involved when looking for a quick fling. When it comes to

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relationships there are still plenty of men who place appearance over and above other traits.

I for one would rather have a less attractive partner if it means avoiding another nauseating conversation of how tuna tastes like chicken on an otherwise peaceful Sunday evening.

With all the dating advice for women, there is a comparatively smaller volume for men. All too often we find ourselves in a situation we were unprepared for, with nowhere to turn for help. We muddle through, making calls based solely on our intuition; often with disastrous consequences.

What happens when the situation gets more complicated: The gorgeous, intelligent women sitting opposite us at a secluded coffee table casually slips a bombshell into the conversation “I’ve got to go pick my daughter up from school after class today”. Game over… or is it? Children open up yet another dimension the typical university male is totally unprepared for.

Who is your support, who can help navigate through uncharted territories, and who can

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help with the tough questions? The answer is simple - the ‘Nexus’ of course.

Curly question for the issue: “Are you my new daddy?”

Incorrect response: “Hell no! I’d say go ask your mother, but she probably doesn’t know either. She gets ridden more often than your tricycle – if you know what I mean [suggestive wink & punch in the shoulder]. At least we’ve managed to cross one person off the list of suspects [maniacal bouts of laughter interrupted by spasmodic flatulence]. Go get me a beer.”

Correct response: Chances are this is just an awkward moment generated by curiosity on the child’s behalf early on in the piece. If so, deploy diversionary tactics until you’ve had a chance to talk to the mother about the exact dynamics of the situation. Try to avoid pairing the question with whisking ‘little Jimmy’ off to the movies, or one of his other favourite activities however, otherwise you could find yourself being asked the same thing far more frequently. If you already know you’re not going to be around forever, better let Jimmy know too, so hopes and expectations don’t try to flower in salted soils.

Send you’re curly questions to: tundrashepherd@hotmail.com

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Ground floor, Student Union Building, University of Waikato, Gate One, Knighton Road, Hamilton Mon-Fri: 8:30AM – 4:30 PM www.wsu.org.nz

Special General Meeting (SGM) As many of you know we have a few vacancies on our executive: GLBT International Tauranga Mature There will be a SGM held Wednesday 23rd May to fill these positions, so start thinking about stepping up for these positions. This process is a little different to the normal election process.

What happens is that nominations are called for on the day and all candidates will be given a chance to speak. Ballot papers will then be distributed and collected by WSU staff, and a simple majority will declare the winner.

Keep reading NEXUS for more information about the individual portfolios which need to be filled and for further information about the SGM. Also, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Moira Neho VICE PRESIDENT — vp@wsu.org.nz

Student Events Coming Up 22

Phone: 07 856 9139 Fax: 07 856 3161

EVENT RECAP

ANZAC Day Another ANZAC (Australian and New Zealand Army Corp) morning has come and gone, and what a satisfying experience.

This time I was able to share the ceremony with Sehai (WSU President) and Glen the Sports & Recreation Officer - himself an exserviceman (even if it was only in the Navy).

As the now old soldiers marched past in silence on Memorial Drive I couldn’t help but to try and picture them when they would’ve been young, vibrant and ready to march off to war in distance lands.

It’s hard to comprehend that by the end of World War I New Zealand had sent 100,000 soldiers to war; one tenth of the total population. Today that would consist of almost the entire city of Hamilton, including children, being sent to war.

The ANZAC service started with a welcome from the Hamilton Return Servicemen Association (RSA) who conducted the occasion. The local servicemen marched from Knox Street and circled the cenotaph. The ceremony consisted of a brief description of what happened on the 25th April 1915 and the actions of the ANZAC. Three selected hymns were sung, a prayer and the Ode from For the Fallen was recited. This was followed by the sounding of the retreat and reveille (google: ANZAC for more details).

Civil Right’s Orator – Owen McCaffery WEDNESDAY 2ND MAY – 1PM, VILLAGE GREEN Come hear the words of some of the world’s most influential civil right’s speakers brought to life by one of our own.

For more information contact: opm1@waikato.ac.nz

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

The part that is most impressed upon my mind are the words of Mustafa Kemal Ataturk who was in command of the Turkish troops when the ANZAC’s landed at Gallipoli. His words are on a memorial at ANZAC cove, which reads “You, the mothers who sent their sons from far away countries, wipe away your tears. Your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. Having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons as well.”

After the official ceremony we met in front of the cenotaph and placed a wreath on behalf of all students and the WSU to remember all our fallen and serving soldiers. The attendance of the ceremony was vast, from babies in prams to senior citizens. All cultural sections of NZ society were present. Last year there were murmurings that ANZAC day is the real day we celebrate our nationhood and after seeing the attendance that morning I would have to agree in part.

So, to all my esteemed colleagues attending the University of Waikato, who will be the future leaders of NZ and other nations from wherever you’ve come, “if we don’t remember our past, we will keep making the same mistakes”.

Whetu Taukamo EDUCATION OFFICER education@wsu.org.nz

Thursday’s In Black Launch THURSDAY 3RD MAY This international campaign against domestic violence will be launched nationally on this day. Come show your support and demand for a world without rape and violence.

For more information contact: womens@wsu.org.nz

WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

Events Calendar

Hillary Scholarship Programme Once again we are privileged to have many top creative/performing artists and athletes at our campus. Many will be well known names such as Laura Langman, a current Silverfern and Tema Fenton-Coyne, a hip hop and Maori contemporary dancer. Many of the others are names that will I’m sure become familiar in the near future.

But what is a Hillary scholar?

A Hillary scholar is a student whom has the potential to excel in Art/ Sport and normally has already demonstrating this ability. They will have achieved well academically and have leadership qualities. In return for all of the above they can be awarded a full fee paying scholarship.

Waikato is the only University to offer Hillary scholarships and if you are not a “mere” mortal like myself more information is available by contacting highperformance@waikato.ac.nz or 0800 Waikato (0800 924 528)

University Open Day: Friday 4th May, 9-2pm. There will be lots of people on campus, if you see anyone looking lost, help them out. Any questions, email info@waikato.ac.nz NZ Music Month: Every Friday afternoon in May on the Village Green from around 1pm. Any questions, email orientation@wsu.org.nz Student ball: Saturday, July 7th. Starts 8pm. Tickets at the WSU Office. Any questions, email orientation@wsu.org.nz Re-Orientation 07: July 9 till 15. Stretch now, details coming soon…. Any questions, email orientation@wsu.org.nz

THURSDAYS IN BLACK demanding a world without rape & violence Brought to you by the Tertiary Women’s Focus Group and NZUSA WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

23

CLUBS

I’m going to ASKEW! ”Bless you”, no I didn’t sneeze, it’s one of the many affiliated clubs that we have on campus, but who and what is ASKEW? Think Queer eye for the straight guy, I’m the straight guy who is in need of major help with all facets of my life.

Yep I’m the exec member, who has no dress sense, cooks 2 minute noodles for a dinner date and my room at home is tragic to say the least.

So with this challenge ahead I’ll see what our gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual students can do for me. I do have a question they might be able to solve for me - isn’t a lesbian just a gay female?

Glen Delamare SPORT AND RECREATION OFFICER

WSU SPOTLIGHT SERVICE

WSU Advocacy Service Example: Mary is travelling from Rotorua everyday to get to Uni when her car windscreen gets smashed and she has no cash to pay for it. She’s maxed out her overdraft at the bank and is not receiving a student allowance. Her car is her only way to get to Uni, and she needs it to continue her studies.

What can she do?

The WSU advocacy service distributes funds from the WSU student hardship fund which is available to all students. Come up to the WSU reception and speak to Shannon Kelly, who may be able to support you around all sorts of issues, including finance. Or contact the WSU reception on 856 9139 and make an appointment!

WOMEN’S ISSUES OFFICER

Ana Moriarty Upcoming Event - Thursdays in Black - Campaign Launch - Thursday May 3rd 1pm - Village Green Thursdays in Black is a campaign against rape and violence. Obviously we had to come up with an event for the launch and our Finance Officer, Mr James Greenless, provided us with some inspiration.

James has been coming up with some “pearlers” (ie. disgusting comments) relating to this topic, such as: • I beat women whether i’m sober or drunk • I only notice hot girls in my class....

(DISCLAIMER! James possibly didn’t say these words and if he had he should have been set on by an angry mob of women and men - it’s really not a joking matter)

And so, James has now become the subject matter of this campaign launch. Or, more specifically, James’ black-haired body has become the subject matter. To see just how hairy this man is, check out the accompanying pic!

Come down to the village green on Thursday 3 May at 1pm and purchase the ability to deprive (wax) James of the hairs on his shoulders, legs, arse and inner thighs as well as other imaginable bodily parts. All money raised will be going to help victims of rape and violence. We hope to have a gorilla (who coincidentally looks a lot like Mr Greenless) as the MC for the event. See you there!!!

FINANCE OFFICER

James Greenless

WSU has a new web site www.wsu.org.nz 24

Okay, for all you complaining that the Finance Officer hadn’t written anything in Nexus, here is the piece of meat for you wolves. Get ready to be bored.

Our grants committee has decided that the criteria for judging applicants are insufficient.

Therefore we want to review our set of guidelines outlining how each application will considered for funding. This is important as we only have a limited amount of money to give, and we want to distribute the funds to worthy recipients. Hence the executive would like your thoughts on building a criteria, so this is your chance to have a say, stick your oar in or just complain that money previously spent might well have be flushed down a toilet. Drop me an email – finance@wsu.org.nz ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

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Notices Accomodation Are you sick of living in scum? Wanna be close to uni??? THEN THIS COULD BE YOUR NEW FLAT!!! 155 per week covers: Sky Digital, wireless broadband, power, phone, rent of room, food optional.

Primo room gets the arvo sun. Also has tv port for sky / tv. Phone 8391417 or Nik 027 6883882 / Rob 027 2832712 Sherwood park area - 16 Salisbury place Flatmate wanted ASAP! Preferably a guy - 5 bedroom townhouse, $100 per week, Enderly area. Sunny house, large kitchen, 2 bathrooms, 2 story house, double rooms, close to lots of shops like Mc D’s and Hell’s, lawns mowed by contractor regularly. Small deck off of the lounge. Off street and on street parking. Rent includes broadband, power, phone. Only need your own bedroom furniture, otherwise flat is fully set up. Reasonably modern and tidy, to live with 3 uni girls and one working guy. Its a great place to live! :) Ask for Michele on 027 426 5396, or call or txt.

Reasonably mature flatmate wanted to move into a tidy place halfway down Clyde St. $125/wk incl. rent, power, phone, broadband. Call Jacob on 8566727 or 0274776075 for details :) Large, sunny room for rent, nice house 1015min walk to uni. $80 p/week + expenses. Call 856 2718 to come and check the room out.

Flat available in Hamilton East - five minute walk to uni four bedroom house 3 year old home. 2 working males in flat already. 3 female students as well a male would be preferred.

Fully furnished apart from bedrooms. Must be tidy, responsible and honest. Call 0274280871 or text. Available after the end of A semester Female flatmate wanted to live with one friendly 4th yr female; commencing B semester; off Hillcrest rd; VERY close to uni; carport parking; warm, bright & clean flat; room 2.3m x 3.5m; rent $85 p/w + expenses; ph 856-9585.

For Sale PRINTER: Multifuction Lexmark Printer/ Scanner/ Fax. Rarely used. Surplus to needs.

$60. Lucy or Sam 078583367 or 0272909119 MAZDA: 323 Hatch. Save $ on gas with this sweet ride. Tidy, beaut car, genuine reason for sale! $1900 ono. Lucy or Sam 078583367 or 0272909119

Lost Two little birds flew away in the Hillcrest area. Semi-tame cockatiels. Lovely little birds, one whistles. Red cheeks, yellow/ white/gray feathers. Any info, contact Lucy, 078583367 0272909119. Thank you

Situations Vacant Wanted: For short film being made in Hamilton – Male, 26-30 years old, wimpy/boyish looks.

Experience would be beneficial, although not essential. Auditions held 1st- 6th May Please contact Nadine Lee – nl1987@gmail.com

as well as faithful followers, snacks provided.

So come on down, and bring your Morgan Freeman memorabilia and we’ll have a Freeman of a time! Email morganfreemanfans@ hotmail.com for more info.

Registrations for this years 48 Hours ends in early May. Teams need to be registered online at www.48hours.co.nz before then and payment needs to be recieved to count as fully registered. This years the prize pool is valued at over $75000 so it’s certainly worth all the fun if you win, and there are prizes for local entries as well.

Sexercise lessons: Professionally trained instructor will be able to guide you through a rigorous 4 hour routine constructed to exercise your butt, back, thighs and those bits inbetween. Available for energising one-on-one sessions. Ph 021 047 9089

A position is available working with two Korean students (age 10&12) to learn english.

This position is for two hours per day, 5 day per week. For more information please text/phone 0273225692 or email mjp34@waikato.ac.nz Volunteers wanted for the Student Ball: We need as much help as we can get. If you’re interested in being a volunteer for this event please contact Moira: vp@wsu.org.nz

Public Events / Meetings Unity Dance Classes on Campus Mondays 9-9.50am warm up & stretch class.

Tuesdays 4.30-5.30pm introductory contemporary dance.

Thursdays 9-10.30am contemporary dance technique.

Wednesday 9th May 1-2pm FREE open Hip Hop workshop with Stephen Gray from Fusion Dance.

Wednesday 16th May 1-2pm FREE open Capoeira workshop with Josh Moreland from Capoeira Pasifika.

Wednesday workshops supported by The Cultural Committee - Te Ohu Tauahurea.

Calling all Morgan Freeman fans!

The first meeting of the official Morgan Freeman Fan Club will commence on Thursday, at 9pm. First time Freeman lovers welcome,

NOTICES ARE FREE FOR STUDENTS TO ADVERTISE WITH. SEND YOUR NOTICE TO NEXUS@WAIKATO.AC.NZ AND PLEASE KEEP IT SHORT AND SWEET. SENDING IT BEFORE TUESDAY 5 PM GUARANTEES THE NOTICE WILL HIT THE NEXT WEEK’S ISSUE. WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

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Scholarship rounds about to close Undergraduate Sir Apirana Ngata Memorial Scholarship CLOSING DATE 30 APRIL 2007 This Scholarship was created by the Maori Soldiers Trust Act 1957, and is administered by the Maori Trust Office to promote higher education amongst Maori. All Maori are eligible, but preference is given to descendents of Maori WWI veterans. Students may be studying in any field. Preference will also be given to students in their final year of tertiary study.

The Selection Panel will consider academic record, demonstrated strong interest in Maori culture, and evidence of involvement in cultural and /or community activities. Further information and application forms can be found in the display racks outside the Scholarships Office, in the ITS Building (which is located at the lake end of the Gate One car park), or by following the Maori Trust Office link on Te Puni Kokiri’s website (www.tpk.govt.nz).

The Mana Taiao Charitable Trust Scholarships CLOSING DATE 30 APRIL 2007 The Mana Taiao Charitable Trust invites applications from students of Maori descent, and who are in their final year of study in New Zealand towards an undergraduate or postgraduate degree. The area of study must be within the broad areas of Science, Engineering or Medicine.

The scholarships are provided to encourage Maori students in these areas. Two scholarships of $1,500 each are offered towards reimbursements of study fees.

Further information and application forms can be found on the Trust’s website (www.manataiao.com).

Graduate / Postgraduate Maori Education Trust Postgraduate Scholarships CLOSING DATE 27 APRIL 2007 These eight Scholarships, administered by the Maori

26

Education Trust, are for students of Māori descent enrolled at a university studying full-time for the full academic year.

Detailed regulations and the application form can be found on the Trust’s website (www. maorieducation.org.nz/sch/).

The Mana Taiao Charitable Trust Scholarships CLOSING DATE 30 APRIL 2007 The Mana Taiao Charitable Trust invites applications from students of Maori descent, and who are in their final year of study in New Zealand towards an undergraduate or postgraduate degree. The area of study must be within the broad areas of Science, Engineering or Medicine.

The scholarships are provided to encourage Maori students in these areas. Two scholarships of $1,500 each are offered towards reimbursements of study fees.

Further information and application forms can be found on the Trust’s website (www.manataiao.com).

Hilary Jolly Memorial Scholarship CLOSING DATE 27 APRIL 2007 The Hilary Jolly Memorial Scholarship is awarded for full-time study in the field of Freshwater Ecology at masters or doctoral level at the University of Waikato. For masters recipients, this award has a value of $6,000 plus domestic tuition fees and is offered with a tenure of two years.

For doctoral students, the award has a value of $15,000 plus tuition fees, and is offered with a tenure of three years. This Scholarship will be awarded on the basis of academic merit and the relevance and importance of the applicant’s proposed study to the field.

Candidates for the scholarship will also be judged on their research ability. Further information and application forms can be found on our Scholarships website (www. waikato.ac.nz/scholarships).

University of Waikato Doctoral Scholarships CLOSING DATE 30 APRIL 2007

The University of Waikato Doctoral Scholarships are offered to New Zealand citizens and permanent residents studying, or intending to study, full-time for a doctoral degree. These Scholarships have a tenure of three years and pay a living allowance of $22,000 per year (paid in monthly instalments), and also cover a student’s tuition fees for the duration of the Scholarship. Scholarships are awarded on academic merit with a minimum grade of A- expected for eligibility. Further information and application forms can be found on our Scholarships website (www.waikato.ac.nz/scholarships).

New Zealand Postgraduate Study Abroad Awards (NZPSAA) CLOSING DATE 1 MAY (AND 1 NOVEMBER) 2007 The New Zealand Postgraduate Study Abroad Awards (NZPSAA), administered by Education New Zealand (ENZ), are available to postgraduate students enrolled in either doctoral or masters degree programmes, in any field of study, whose research programme would benefit significantly from a short-term period of study or research abroad. These awards vary in value (up to a maximum of $10,000), according to the costs of the proposed project.

International students are eligible to apply, but priority may be given to New Zealand citizens and permanent residents. Further information and application forms are available from the Education New Zealand website (www.newzealandeducated. com/scholarships/).

Asia:NZ – NZASIA Postgraduate Research Awards CLOSING DATE 4 MAY 2007 Applications are invited from postgraduate students at any tertiary institution in New Zealand who are enrolled in a full-time masters or doctoral degree, who needs supplementary support for overseas fieldwork undertaken as part of the degree, and whose research relates to the ‘Malay World’. Awards will be granted

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

in the broad range of the social sciences and humanities involving direct contact with place, culture, or data in Asia. Awards have a value of up to $5,000 each, depending on the needs of the individual applicants and on the availability of funds.

Further information and application forms can be found in the display racks outside the Scholarships Office, in the ITS Building (which is located at the lake end of the Gate One car park).

ISANA Bursaries CLOSING DATE 4 MAY 2007 These bursaries, which have a value of up to $1,500, are offered to students undertaking research at a postgraduate level in areas relating to education, support, and the well-being of students studying in Australia or New Zealand. Further information and application forms are available from www. cdesign.com.au/isana07.

Golden Plover Award CLOSING DATE 31 MAY 2007 This $1,000 award is open for applications from students who are researching any aspect of the ecology or management of wetlands at a masters level in 2007. Applicants may be studying either part or fulltime to be eligible for the award, and should be New Zealand citizens or permanent residents. Further information and application forms are available from the Scholarships Office website (www.waikato.ac.nz/scholarships).

New Horizons for Women Trust (Inc.) Research Awards CLOSING DATE 31 MAY 2007 These awards, which have a value of $6,000, are offered to assist women, groups of women, or communities to undertake research on issues of importance to girls and women. Further information and application forms are available from http://www. newhorizonsforwomen.org. nz/NHWT-Awards.html.

WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

WESMO FormulaSAE team shattered by engine failure

BY Nick Maarhuis A new car is currently being developed though and once sponsorship is secured will be built to compete in Melbourne in December this year. This car will be much lighter than the 2006 car, so the performance will be much higher. Other aspects will be improved also, including steering, braking, centre of gravity, and build quality. It is hoped that with sufficient funding and sponsorship, the 2007 car can be a showpiece for the quality of Waikato’s engineering students and the University of Waikato Engineering Department. We spoke with several team members about their experiences on the WESMO team:

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ack in O’Week, the 2006 Waikato Engineering Students Motorsport (WESMO) Formula-SAE race car was doing an exhibition run during the Coca-cola Trolley Derby when it unfortunately blew up.

After dismantling the engine, WESMO found that the only thing more shattered than their egos was one of the pistons.

Intense racing use had fractured Interview with Richard Upperton - WESMO Suspension Team Leader the part, which spectacularly broke into several pieces and Nexus: You were driving the car when the engine gave way, what destroyed valves, wrecked was it like when it popped? the combustion chamber and Richard: Well it went a bit like this. I was distributed shrapnel throughout thrashing the fuck out of it when I heard a the ten thousand dollar engine. sound of something shattering. It was obvious Due to the costly nature of rebuilding the engine or purchasing a replacement, the 2006 car will not be fixed. It will be on display in a perspex box in S-Block, except for when it will be shown at promotional events.

This has been a great disappointment for all involved, as the car was to be used at local schools as a recruitment tool for the School of Science and Engineering. Also, many team members who put in countless hours of work did not even get a chance to drive it. However, it did serve its purpose at the 2006 competition, completing the event with a favourable placing.

It also featured on One News, Performance car TV, and in the Waikato Times, gaining great publicity for both the University of Waikato and its Engineering Department. The estimated value of the vehicle (considering the design hours and cost of all components) is into six figures, so to never see it run again is a loss to both the team and the university.

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bits of metal were randomly circulating through the engine before it died completely.

You’re on the WESMO Formula-SAE team again for your second year; what is your job, and how much work is involved in a project like this?

My job is not so much hands-on work (though I think this will probably be the case) but trying to keep the ball rolling as the suspension team leader. Making sure parts are being manufactured properly and the suspension team is running like a well oiled piston shattering machine. To have an idea about how much time is involved; imagine being full time at uni, tests, exams, assignments, the whole lot, then add a full time job on top of that.

When you get to sleep, if ever, all you dream about is designing and making race car parts.

Does being a race driver pull the ladies?

Well, where do I start... When I first pulled because of Formula SAE early last year I only ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

THE WESMO TEAM AND CAR IN HAPPIER TIMES

had to let her know I was involved in building a sexy fast race car. Before I could even go into to too much detail we were back at her place getting funky. To this day we are still together.

She has a great personality and is hot to boot.

What are the chances?! Slim to none I reckon.

Interview with 2007 team manager - Nelson McCosh Nexus: How do you feel about the car becoming a permanent static display?

Nelson: It’s a bit gutting as we were planning on using it for driver training and testing out some new ideas but us not being able to play round with it in the lab will mean that other people in the community will get to see it a lot more which is good for our funding bids.

What benefits can WESMO bring to the students, the university, or Hamilton in general?

WESMO benefits students as it gives students a way to practice in a real situation what they have learnt at uni, this isn’t just engineers but marketing and computer science students as well (We need a student to make our website for us, any interested Computer science students give me an email nrm8@waikato. ac.nz). The university benefits greatly from WESMO as an advertising medium, last year alone WESMO generated in excess of $200,000 worth of advertising for the uni. Hamilton in general also benefits from this advertising.

The 2006 car got great press for its innovative use of hemp in the body shell, what new materials or design features will be on the 2007 car?

We are looking at using Carbon Fibre and Titanium alloy to give strong lightweight parts to try and reduce weight on the car What are the main targets/goals for you and the team this year?

The main goal is to place in the top 10 at the competition in Melbourne and to build a good base to work from for 2008.

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Ninja doobie back to kick and your grandma in face! ready, orrryaaaahhh!

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ALCOHOL COCAINE DEALER DRUGS DRY

ILLEGAL MARIJUANA OPIUM PROHIBIT PROHIBITIONISTS

RACKETEER SALOON SPEAKEASY TEMPERANCE

You draw line through boxes and not go in box with you draw line in it

Only skilful ninja can complete this!

Are you ninja?

Be first with crossword finish to Nexus and win dvd rental from Auteur House (555 Victoria St)! So good to touch!! write name below Ninja name: ninja email: Tick you like ninja dookie: Yes Yes YOU like PIZZA? YAIS I would like to hear your voice and words to tell.

Send delicious comment to nexus@waikato.ac.nz and say hi to nija dookie!

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NO!

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

START/FINISH BOUNCE REFLECT TELEPORT

CANNOT GO BACK THRU block UNLESS REFLECT!

FOLLOW ARROW!

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COMIX

Crew @ 22

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By A J Elliot

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

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COLUMNS

By Candice Bottomsworth

Holy Smoking Poles!

Gentle reader, when you last heard from me I was waiting in Guatemala City for James William Botheringham-Smythe III in order that together we penetrate deep into the moist, quivering, richly scented jungle to find the central headquarters of Rotary International and eliminate the growing threat that their conspiracy poses to everything that is good and decent in the world.

We know that Auntie Chuck and Uncle Benjo said we’d expose the dark underbelly of Christianity but, upon receiving some helpful advice and a several broken ribs courtesy of a fundamentalist Christian group who we will not name, we decided that said article was not a part of our ‘destiny’.

So, instead, we will preach to you the joys of not smoking.

Alas, I write to you now from the business lounge at Heathrow, nursing a stiff Diaka tonic and a somewhat bruised set of expectations.

One must encounter these disappointments in life, I suppose.

Perhaps I should have preperceived it. But what I must speak of is such a strange aberration in a human being that even now I can hardly attribute it to my James without an involuntary shudder. It does not make any sense that a grown man, who is otherwise possessed of all his senses, would voluntarily, without any instruction from a physician, priest or commanding officer, forbid himself alcohol for the rest of his life.

Ye gods! Even to write that last sentence causes me pain! Imagine the sort of person one would have to be to be teetotal! The necessary depths of self-loathing, of anally-retentive control issues, and of moral repression can scarcely be fathomed by decent folk.

Non-drinkers must surely be the most frighteningly disturbed people that one will ever come across. I do not speak of those reluctant teetotallers who can never let a drop pass their lips lest their internal organs fail them - those poor souls who would gladly drink if only Nature had afforded them the appropriate constitution; no, I speak of those horrors who voluntarily give up alcohol.

It occurs to me that non-drinking must be an excellent indicator of all sorts of personality disorders (remind me to look it up in the DSM-IV). James himself, in the uncomfortable silence that followed his refusal of the proffered Chablis over a lovely meal of gently poached brook trout, suggested that the reason he doesn’t drink is that he doesn’t like the feeling of being ‘out of control’. Well, I ask you! Was I out of control when, after one too many Grand Marnier Cent Cinquantenaires, I allowed a certain young HRH to give my cervix a royal tongue-tickling? Au contraire; I had been douching with corgi urine for weeks as preparation for the delicious event.

The triple sec simply loosened my nether regions sufficiently.

So, to sum up, gentle reader, I shan’t be seeing the depraved James William Botheringham-Smythe III again. And next week we shall be looking at the peculiar world of budgerigar breeders.

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Tobacco was discovered in 1530 by would-be travellers from China.

They sailed across the sea-monster-ridden oceans and traversed across strange lands in search of a cure for the common cold. Instead, they found a plant which, when burnt and its fumes inhaled, relieved them of their ailments. Consequently, they would find themselves struggling to get by without their next ‘hit’ of this mystical plant.

Scientists have recently discovered that the Tobacco plant, known to the Chinese as “Tao-Bai-Cao”, has over 200 chemicals including acetone, ammonia and formaldehyde (which is used to preserve dead people). The plant also contains several carcinogens (which cause cancer) and has an uncanny knack for making well-known New Zealand television personalities like Joel Defries and Dominic Bowden talk utter bullshit. When the plant is magically transformed into a cigarette, then the amount of chemicals it has in it increases to over 4000 different chemicals like hydrochloride, magnesium and Jif. Today, over 24.825% people smoke. That is 24.825% people too many!

Thus, it is our duty to provide people with the truth about smoking.

It kills. Sometimes. Other times, it leaves you a bitter, hollow shell of a person who lives life day-to-day craving that next hit. Tobacco is evil. Tobacco is bad-bad.

Dominic Bowden said that he hated it when people were sheep, in regards to people smoking. Joel Defries said smoking was, like, so 1997.

I think we can listen to these very important peoples’ valuable opinions because they make a good point.

Be yourself. Be an individual. Just listen to them as well.

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COLUMNS

By Vitamin C

By Adam Smith

Hark, unwashed peasants! Listen to my tales and instruction.

This week has a more relaxed theme, as I discuss killing time on waiKato. The idea for this week was partially inspired by my good almighty friend Thor, who dwells under the Library. I don’t think I’ve seen him since we were questing in Auckland.

Anyway, killing Time is a side-quest that can cause a bit of trouble for lower-level players so don’t go rushing in unprepared. First of all, make sure your entire party equips textbooks as an accessory; you want to make sure that you are immune to Fun status, and you’ll see why soon.

Finding Time is not easy in this work-a-day world, so it’s important to first make Time for yourself. Go and talk to the man selling the silver rings by the banks, and ask him if he has the Time. He will say that he used to, but it escaped and now he is depressed because he there is no more alcohol, apparently Time makes the wine. He will give you his special pocket-watch which enables only you to see Time, now you have all the Time in the world.

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Prior to the Easter break there was a letter in Nexus regarding people marking library books. As a staff member, and given that it is against Library Regulations, I also have to condemn such behaviour. However, not all markings take the form of gaudy h ighlighter and moronic exclamations.

Some authors, such as Poe, Coleridge and Blake, contributed marginalia to their reading that has become the source of scholarly discussion, particularly for biographers, and in some cases has been deemed worthy of publication in its own right.

Blake’s marginalia is said to physically seize the books he inscribed, converting them and making them aware of his vision.

Head to the Calm Lands (the huge field on campus) and this is where you will find Time, but it’s not as easy as that. Time passes differently for every individual, so he won’t appear until you are alone. Make sure your party is completely lost; when you’re lost, you can look and you will find him, Time after Time. Once Time attacks, the first thing he will do is cast Fun on the entire party. This is why it is important to be Fun proof; as Time flies when you are having Fun and this will greatly increase his speed and evasion. Without his trick, however, he is confined to the ground and will try to flee, since Time and tide wait for no man.

If you can keep Time surrounded then the battle should be straightforward, although Time does have quite a high armour save. If you have an Arts student with the Seamstress skillset (most of them need to learn it at some point) have her use the ‘Stitch’ technique, after all; a stitch in Time saves nein! With the end of Time, take his corpse back to the ring-guy, who will be extremely grateful and should pay you handsomely. Time is money, after all.

Marginalia

One of the more prominent examples of ‘marginalia’ becoming an authentic resource is the Jewish Talmud. Being composed of various rabbinic discussions of Torah it can include numerous commentaries surrounding a central text. This creates a particularly vibrant and rich resource, which also happens to be visually impressive. Of course, illuminated manuscripts are another form of marginalia used in a visually impressive and beneficial manner.

Not all library resources are off-limits; Ebrary (available through the Librarylink Databases) allows you to annotate books and has the advantage of only being visible to the account holder, not other readers. However, there are instances where marginalia could be beneficial if viewed by others. If it is a translation, and you have a good grasp of the original language, it could be useful to provide alternative translations of certain words or passages if it significantly impacts on the meaning of the text. Perhaps making note of another resource that might not be well known and offers an alternative view on the topic at hand. Travel guides could also benefit from some informed marginalia. For example, cheap places to dine or stay that are not mentioned (or good places to score illicit substances).

While I can see the potential of such suggestions I can not officially condone them. Nonetheless, I can appreciate the regulations that prevent them given that the majority of marginalia holds little or no value and is more often than not an unwanted imposition on the reader. What you may feel is stunningly witty repartee may be a mere banality to others.

So, unless you happen to be the next Poe or Blake, perhaps you should save any ‘marginalia’ for your blog or MySpace account where I am sure it will get the attention it deserves.

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Access to the freshest ingredients from around the world, mainly because you’ll be around the world.

But oddly enough never far from a Speight’s pub.

If you’ve got a mate in the UK missing their Speight’s, join The Great Beer Delivery at speights.co.nz

SPE0150/B/NEX

Apply Now. Closes 11 May 2007.

COLUMNS

BY JOSEPH ROSS

BY BURTON C BOGAN Bogan Wrestlers So you don’t believe I’m stuck in the eighties? Well one of my notso-secret shames is the homo erotic extravaganza that is “sports entertainment”. That’s right, wrestling. Te Bogan and I watched wrestling videos not that long ago, and it stirred up memories of my childhood – body slamming and DDT’ing my chums at Kaeo Primary. My favourites were always the Bogans, so here’s a few you may or may not know: Demolition: My absolute favourites, DEMOLITION the original Bogan’s heroes. KISS style make up and spiked leather.

Axe and Smash dominated tag team wrestling in the 80’s, until Axe suffered a heart condition and they introduced a third team mate, Crush. In my favourite Royal Rumble, Axe drew Number 1 and Smash drew Number 2. Instead of stopping and waiting for the third person they started wailing on each other.

Number 3 was Andre the Giant.

Axe and Smash stop beating the crap out of each other, turn and start wailing on the Giant until he’s tied up in the ropes and they then start stomping him into the ground. Kind of a Bogan metaphor for life really: Stand on your own two feet until you need to bond against a common enemy!

The Road Warriors: Hawk and Animal, larger spikes than Demolition but with similar war paint. These guys could barely speak, from memory Animal was more articulate – with “Grrrrs” instead of “Arrrrrs”!

Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart: Part of the Hart Foundation. The Anvil also used to Arrrr a lot and had an awesome goatee through which he derived his power. He always looked really happy.

I still thought he was a Bogan, despite his pink outfit.

THE ROAD WARRIORS

This is the tenth and final year that the National Bank Cup will be contested. Next year, the Cup will be replaced by the Tasman Trophy, a competition between five of the New Zealand teams and five Australian teams. This will most likely mean that some teams will need to be amalgamated.

In the past, the Southern Sting from Invercargill dominated the National Bank Cup, winning the title every year from 1999 to 2004, or 6 straight titles. The Otago Rebels won the inaugural National Bank Cup in 1998.

Remaining Magic Matches Round 5 v Diamonds Round 6 v Force Round 7 v Rebels

Mystery Creek North Shore Dunedin

1 pm May 6 (live TV1) 1 pm May 27 (live TV1) 7.30 pm June 1

Finals Series 1st Semi (1st v 2nd) 7.30 pm June 8 (live TV1) 2nd Semi (3rd v 4th) 1.00 pm June 10 (live TV1) 3rd Semi (loser 1st Semi v winner 2nd Semi) 7.30 pm June 15 (live TV1) Final (winner 1st Semi v winner 3rd Semi) 7.30 pm June 22 (live TV1) There is a gap between rounds 5 and 6 because the Silver Ferns play in a series against Australia, England and England A in England. Following this, the Silver Ferns play matches against Australia and Jamaica in July. This is in preparation for the World Championships, to be held in Auckland from 10-17 November, where they will look to retain the title as World Champions that they obtained when they beat Australia in an epic final in 2003.

Silver Ferns Upcoming Matches

“Big Sexy” Kevin Nash: On to more recent times, which for an Elder Bogan like me is the mid-nineties, Kevin Nash was a Bogan. Tall, muscular, long hair – he came out to rap music though which always pissed me off. Also what used to piss me off was my girlfriend at the time thought he was hot. But Kevin Nash was ultimately a Bogan, and could actually speak properly which was really weird for a wrestler!

So if I haven’t embarrassed myself enough, wrestling was my second biggest love as a kid. Watching those videos has gotten me into it again. Now where’s my leotard? I feel like body slamming something!

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The 2007 Netball National Bank Cup is already near the halfway stage.

The Waikato-Bay of Plenty Magic is the only team (out of eight) to have won all of its first three games as they strive to achieve a three-peat, having won the 2005 and 2006 titles.

v England v Australia v England A v Jamaica v Jamaica v Australia v Australia v Australia

Manchester Birmingham London Christchurch Auckland Auckland Melbourne Adelaide

May 13 May 15 May 17 July 12 July 14 July 18 July 21 July 24

The Silver Ferns squad for the World Championships will be named on July 30.

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COLUMNS

BY ISA

Lemon juice is also a fabulous accessory to wellness and lemon/ honey drinks are wonderfully soothing on a sore throat

Winter fog

Stock up

It’s getting colder and the foggy ghost of Hamilton’s murdered swamp is coming back, yet again, to haunt us. Beware of the blinding white mornings ahead where you will be lucky to see 10 metres in front of you. The evening fog descends silently and hangs ominously in the air over all the dodgy parks in Ham East, filling your night walks with mystery. As it gets colder, our immune systems demand supplies and we are faced with the conundrum of whether sickness is really a burden or a handy excuse to put off assignments. What ever you do is your own responsibility. Here are some tips for getting through the winter

Rally the troops Your immune system is an amazing army, much more numerous, complicated, organised and efficient than any military force on earth. Stimulate your immune system and kill of yucky things with raw garlic; you can swallow the small cloves like pills.

Wash it down with pineapple juice to avoid smelling European.

Your immune system needs vitamins and minerals, particularly Vitamin C (sour fruits), A (animal products) and zinc (seafood, red meat, eggs). Zinc is also important for digestion, which means you won’t digest it easily if you don’t already have it. Pick up a liquid zinc supplement if your digestion sucks. Avoid Vitamin C tablets if they only contain ascorbic acid, you need the whole complex not just the most active component which acts as a diuretic and flushes all the good stuff out of your body. Vitamin A also helps your eye sight so you can face the fog with dignity.

Think healthy As soon as people start to think they are getting sick they curse themselves to snotty bed-ridden torment. I sometimes wonder whether the cold virus is actually contagious or if it’s really just out thinking that is. Your brain and immune system interact as an interesting and though-provoking way so use some cunning reverse logic and think positive, healthy thoughts. It works for me

smart and efficient, if only for a fleeting moment.

BY CHEF CYRIL Stuffed Stuff Yes, yes, I know, that does sound very appetising. I bet you’re salivating at the idea of being stuffed. All your fantasies aside, we have some food to make. Today we’re making stuff that is stuffed (stuff= pita pockets, tortillas etc, stuffed= filled with foods). I will show you one way that I’m particularly fond of and from there on you can deviate. To begin, we need some ingredients (or El Ingrediento in Spanish).

Pita Bread Handful of cheap beef Unflavored Yoghurt or sour cream Cucumber Splash of Worcestershire sauce Veges of your choosing Garlic Along with essential kitchen junk

60c per half 80c 20c, 20c steal some from mum your choosing 20c you already have it

If you’re smart like me, you should be able to finish this recipe fairly quickly. If, on the other hand, you’re dumb, setting everything up like me will at least make you look

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First, heat your oven to about 180C. Crush some garlic and mix it in some butter. This butter is going inside your pita breads to give them some flavor. So smell the butter for garlic and gauge the amount of butter based on how fat you want to get. Cut the pita breads in half to make pockets. Butter the inside.

Next: vegetables. I typically use lettuce, tomato, cucumber and capsicum. It’s cheaper to buy in season, so approaching winter you might want to favour carrots, canned corn and other cheap stuff. Next you need you need a cup of sour cream or yoghurt.

Crush some garlic into this, add a pinch of salt and squeeze in some lemon juice if you have it. Grate some cucumber (no, I’m serious…it’ll make sense later) and add it to the yoghurt - start with a small amount as it is very watery. Mix together and taste. This is called Tzatziki (or a bastardisation) Now put the pita pockets in the oven - you just wanna warm them and crisp them a little. Every time you burn one, God kills a kitten.

Now cut beef into thin strips, thin like the Hulk’s patience, because you need to be able to bite through it easily (like the Hulk’s patience?). Fry it up. When it’s almost ready add the Worcestershire sauce. Start with a little bit, just enough to penetrate to all the meat. Taste the meat, add salt and pepper as appropriate. It should be a bit stronger than your normal preference for taste.

Now the pitas should be done - stuff in some veges and meat and top with the Tzatziki and eat. I recommend eating with hands, because there is no way you will cut this with a knife.

For more spice add things like Tabasco, cumin, paprika or chili flakes.

You could also use chicken or tuna for the meat (don’t fry the tuna).

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Citric

By Captain Ahab

It’s time for everyone to get excited. Yes, even you at the back. The most important musical event in the history of the entire universe is coming. It’s the WORLD BATTLE OF THE BANDS, and like a pleasantly surprising erection, it’s a “dynamic and growing” band competition. The WORLD BATTLE OF THE BANDS is not to be confused with the GLOBAL BATTLE OF THE BANDS, which is obviously inferior, as it only covers the globe, rather than the whole world. The prize for the winning New Zealand entry is getting to be label mates with 8 Foot Sativa and Slipping Tongue! I can’t wait to win with my 7-piece disco-pop group! I bet we’ll be able to go on tour with the other bands and it’ll be really exciting! Apparently the competition is open to all genres and styles, which is probably meant to say “competition is open to all genres and styles, as long as your music makes women and homosexual males feel uncomfortable”. I hope all music fans will join with me in holding our collective breath

to await the announcement of the amazing band that will surely win this competition.

In less shitty news, travelling French popminstrels Ladybird are playing at Ward Lane on May 9th, with Glasnost, The Gills and The Deadly Deaths. This should be an excellent show. I have it on good authority that you shouldn’t try to sleep with the attractive boys from Ladybird though. This is probably a good rule to apply to all travelling rock’n’roll bands. Hamilton musicians, on the other hand, are fair game and are highly recommended.

Support local music, and all that.

Speaking of supporting local music, it’s almost May, so it’s almost time for you to buy the obligatory New Zealand Music Month t-shirt, or sift through your washing pile to find the one you bought last year, and haven’t put on since June. Be sure to avoid seeing any gigs or buying any New Zealand music during May.

Gig Guide Hamilton Film Society meets every Tuesday at Victoria Cinema. Tonight’s screening is Francois Truffaut’s 1968 tragicomedy ‘Soft Skin’. Memberships are available on the night, and entitle you to free entry to a full year of screenings from the joining date, as well as special deals at Victoria Cinema and Auteur House.

On Wednesday, One Night In Buenos Ares promises to deliver “some of the best tango dancers around” to Clarence Street theatre. Book online at www.ticketdirect. co.nz or at Hamilton public libraries.

Friday is Star Wars Day, May the Forth be with you. It’s also Waikato Uni’s Open Day, and it’ll take more than The Force to save you from an attack of the Emo-fringe clones masquerading as ‘entertainment’. Last year,

By PETRA JANE

Goodnight Nurse stood in for local lads 48May and nobody noticed the difference.

If you want to check out real hardcore, instead of sooks wearing their sisters’ eyeliner, head down to Upsett Records aka No Way Out on Friday evening for Brisbane’s Wish For Wings with Antagonist, Brick vs. Face and Problems. $15 door sales from 7pm.

It’s Mark1’s birthday on Saturday, and you get the presents. No, really, they’re holding a Free Comic Book Day where you can get up to three titles for free, just for turning up to the Victoria Street nerd emporium between 9 and 5. There are other giveaways and competitions too… and there might even be girls there. Maybe.

Remember Sample Gee, the mastermind of

Just wear the t-shirt.

That’s what they mean when they tell you to “Support New Zealand Music”. Sleeping with musicians is also an acceptable form of support, if the t-shirts are a little outside your price range. May is also the only time of the year when local musicians have any money, so be sure to pretend to give a fuck about their music so that their newfound wealth is spent on buying you drinks.

Finally, The Lookie Loos, Kimbra, The Braxton Hicks and The Holy Rollers play The Dinsdale office on Saturday 12th of May. The gig is free and there is a free bus to town afterwards!

Remember, if you want your musical happening mocked on these pages, you need to let me know about it: htownahab@gmail.com

the ‘Lagered’ compilations and those sped-up, doof-doofed ZM club mixes? Late-90s school socials weren’t complete without pitchbended house mixes of Fatboy Slim. Gee’s still dropping house records for the masses, with his Mint tour hitting Hamilton this Saturday night. If house is your thing, head down to The Loft on Hood Street. Doors open 9pm.

If you like hot rods, rockabilly and improbably long band names, then you might want to head up to Pukekohe on Sunday for Alley Kat Stomp ’07. Hamilton’s Dick Dynamite and the Doppelgangers join Auckland’s Labretta Suede and the Motel 6 and others at the Pukekohe Hot Road Club, from 11am.

Coming up next week A free show from Kimbra and The Lookie Loos somewhere in Dinsdale France’s Ladybird and Glasnost bring their continental charm to Ward Lane Black Books’ Dylan Moran’s slurred stand-up at the St James, Auckland That really big assignment you put off.

Hamilton's newest and biggest

CD DVD & Vinyl store 07 839 4435 PHONE

CORNER OF WARD AND VICTORIA ST , HAMILTON WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

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INTERVIEWING

Soulfuric As part of NZonAir New Zealand Music Month, the WSU will be presenting New Zealand bands and musicians every Friday during May outside the Banks at the WSU Village Green from 2-4pm. This week’s band is Soulfuric, hailing all the way from Christchurch. When Nexus heard they would be travelling all the way up to the University of Waikato, we decided to ask them a few questions about what they’ve been up to.

Nexus: You’ve all jazz school kids, but how would you describe the music you play as Soulfuric?

Soulfuric: Yeah, we did all meet at jazz School but all three of us definitely went there with an appreciation of jazz but a passion for many other styles. Soulfuric is a blend of three very different backgrounds from Funk and R’n’B to Rock and Blues.

Many people have described our sound as being somewhere between Ben Harper and the Dave Matthews Band.

You guys took a little break towards the end of last year – what were you all up to during that period?

Well, Fausia also plays with another Christchurch band called The Dukes who have had a lot of recent success, from opening for INXS to winning the New Zealand round of MTV Kick Start. So, for awhile we were just making sure not to double book. Matt also went on a solo tour of the North Island for about a month to keep the band name being promoted while the full lineup wasn’t playing.

Have you applied for any funding from NZ on Air or do you have to raise cash for everything yourselves?

Yes, we have applied for funding several times but it does take

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a while to break through and win funding for smaller unsigned acts when the big labels and big local acts tend to get in first.

So, at this stage all that we have recorded and filmed has been off what we have raised ourselves and off of some amazing generosity from the likes of Shuriken and DC audio.

How often do you get to travel up to the North Island from Christchurch?

Other than Matt’s solo tour around the North Island this will actually be Soulfuric’s first gig across the Cook Strait.

Do you find being a South Island band isolates or excludes you from a lot of what is going on in the top half of the country?

To some extent this is true. There are many big international acts that only come to the North Island and this reduces your chances as a South Island band for getting some good exposure as an opening act. But the music scene in Canterbury is still very strong and many of New Zealand’s biggest bands now are from Christchurch so we wouldn’t say it’s a disadvantage.

Do you hear many stories about Waikato students down in Christchurch?

We have enough stories just about our own students but recently we did get to some of Waikato’s finest at the Uni Games after party. We opened the night with Jordan Luck and saw first hand what Waikato University students do at an after party, so most stories we have heard were actually firsthand experiences.

And Congrats to Canterbury Uni on winning the Shield!

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REVIEWS

Books The Feng Shui Detective’s Casebook

By Nury Vittachi

Review by Hazazel The third in Vittachi’s popular Feng Shui Dectective series, this is more a collection of stories than a novel, making it ideal light reading. The title refers to the main character, CF Wong, a Hong Kong Feng Shui master who (usually accompanied by his ditzy Australian assistant Joyce) solves crimes while assessing the Feng Shui of his clients’ homes and workplaces.

The way CF and Joyce get tangled up in a mystery on every single assignment is extremely contrived.

It’s possible that Vittachi’s earlier novels were fresher and less formulaic, but (like so many pop fiction writers) he has hit on a winning formula and is sticking to it. The Feng Shui Detective’s Casebook is charming, entertaining and quite absurd.

Vittachi’s writing doesn’t have the ‘heart’ of Alexander McCall Smith’s No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency or the downright hilarity of Douglas Adams’ Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency , but it’s fun, and has an interesting multicultural flavour - like the author himself. Vittachi was born in Sri Lanka, schooled in the UK, and now lives in Hong Kong with his English wife and three adopted Chinese children.

The Casebook’s RRP is $27.95. It would make a great companion for travel, between (during?) lectures, or perhaps on the loo, but unless you really like detective comedy with a splash of Eastern mysticism, I’d look for it on sale.

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Black Earth White Bones

By Chris Else

Review by Leah Graham Chris Else was educated at Auckland Grammar School and the University of Auckland before embarking on careers in teaching, bookselling and data-processing. He is currently a novelist and short story writer as well as a literary agent and technical writing consultant. In 2005 he was elected president of the New Zealand Society of Authors and he now runs a literary agency and manuscript assessment service with his wife Barbara. This is Chris Else’s 5th novel and his past career highlights and current reputation promise that it will be a good one.

This novel introduces Kit Wallace, an ex-pat New Zealander living on the top floor of the Royal Albert Hotel in the Pacific nation of Ventiak.

Wallace is a man who has drifted through his life and somehow managed to avoid trouble or responsibility. He spends his days writing poetry that no one will ever see and socialising with the other somewhat crazed ex-pats on Ventiak through a whisky fuelled haze.

Kit Wallace meets several mysterious outsiders at a dinner party and suddenly sees conspiracy around every corner, this is explained when he is invited to join a scam involving the nations Phosphate industry which will defraud the native Ventiakans of millions. Wallace is initially interested as his finances are in a dire state but his loyalty to the people of Ventiak surprises him and he takes action against the scam.

Chris Else has created a rich and vivid Island nation here, complete with its own language and culture including its history, myths and legends, rituals and food. His depiction of Ventiak also includes a stunningly crafted social and physical history and arrestingly described flora and fauna.

I expected to be impressed by this book because of the calibre of its author and in most ways I was not disappointed. The most impressive thing about this book was the setting. Else has crafted here; a beautiful but realistic Pacific Island nation. His descriptions of the physical landscape, the native people and their rituals and beliefs alongside the impressive flora and fauna manage to invoke a powerful and beautiful image in the mind of the reader without glossing over the seedier aspects of island life. To me, the characters and events of this novel pale in comparison to the setting, almost fading into the background. I was also very disappointed with the ending as a good degree of suspense was built by the author but nothing came of it and the plot was left to fade away into a ‘Big Nothing’ ending.

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REVIEWS THE

AUTEUR HOUSE INTRODUCTION TO

Film

Robert Aldrich

Black Sheep

BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON

Sky City Cinema

REVIEW BY JOE CITIZEN This starts out like any number of old fashioned New Zealand nostalgia flicks, with all those cheesy sunlit hills swarming with fluffy sheep being herded around by wholesome farm boys deftly riding their quad bikes with casual ease.

Such beautiful panoramas sell our country to overseas audiences, who willingly lap up this clean green image despite our appalling environmental history. These are vintage PR images of old, with a virtuous musical score that makes one almost want to pelt the screen with jaffas.

Then it all goes horribly wrong. Soon, the parents who thought that this was family entertainment are wondering how much they’ll have to shell out for the counsellor. Naturally, I’m laughing like a drain, but I’m a bit sick. Luckily, for me, Dr Ezy was in the audience and he was laughing like a drain too. That’s two of us who are bit sick. Soon, the rest of the audience has caught up and they’re a bit sick too – but for a while there it looked like it was touch and go on the whole acceptability thing. Good job New Zealander’s can laugh at themselves these days…

Without the gore, it’s all rather silly – a genetic experiment by a greedy farmer gets out of control when toxic waste is mistakenly liberated by an over-the-top urban greenie with no sense. Soon everybody has been turned towards the dark side and becomes not zombies, but psychotically inclined mutant killer sheep hell bent on munching human flesh. Good job the effects have been done by Weta Workshop or we’d be laughing for all the wrong reasons.

This is not deep intellectual humour, it’s practically slapstick with blood. This is what The Descent could’ve been if they’d changed the music. It has similar character development – scarred hero must overcome his personal demons- with an upbeat resolution that unfortunately includes getting the greenie girl, making her dumber than she looks. This being oddball comedy and not horror makes such idiocy acceptable however, making me vomit for all the wrong reasons instead.

Whilst the plot is not fantastic, this is never-the-less a very entertaining film that manages to tell a simple story well. This pearl of a film shines like an oil slick on a baby seal and will be appreciated by sicko’s everywhere.

Robert Aldrich made his masterpiece early. “Kiss Me Deadly” (1955) is the most amoral film in the most amoral genre, film noir. Aldrich presents Mickey Spillane’s pulp novel detective, Mike Hammer, as uber anti-hero, a self-interested sleaze ball who thinks nothing of pimping out his secretary or squeezing an old man’s fingers in a drawer if it gets him closer to a mysterious big score. Hammer’s doggedly venal curiosity leads indirectly to the end of the world, a spectacular atomic climax that fuses the film’s classical allusions with the genre’s cold war subtext.

Aldrich was a genre director in a period when the break-up of the old studio system meant genres became less rigid and formulaic. He played his part in introducing greater levels of cynicism and violence into the western, the combat film and, most unusually, the melodrama.

His westerns are known for their sympathetic - or at least even handed - treatment of native Americans. In “Apache” (1954) or “Ulzana’s Raid” (1972) Indians aren’t presented as peace-loving or otherwise idealised in the manner of something like “Dances With Wolves” but nor are they seen to be anymore bloodthirsty than the settlers they oppose. Certainly a sense of grievance at the inhumanity of the white man is given legitimacy.

Perhaps Aldrich’s best known film and biggest hit is “The Dirty Dozen” (1967). What could have been a conventional ‘special mission’ World War II movie was given a fresh spin by having members of the elite force be thieves, murderers and rapists.

The anti-authoritarian bent of “The Dirty Dozen” was very much in keeping with its time and comparisons to Vietnam are obvious. Yet Aldrich was equally cynical about military politics over a decade earlier in “Attack!” (1956), which even today seems uncompromising in its presentation of the pressures of combat. The twisted visage of Jack Palance as he is run over by tank is an image not easily forgotten, and Eddie Albert’s performance as a spineless coward of an officer should be mandatory viewing for all those who only know the actor as the genial farmer on “Green Acres”.

For all his skill with the masculine genres though Aldrich may well be best remembered for his hysterical forays into grand guignol. “What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?” (1962) sees two of the Golden Era’s biggest stars, Joan Crawford and Bette Davis, as insane, warring sisters struggling to come to terms with the past. “Hush, Hush...Sweet Charlotte” (1964) is the almost as good follow-up that has Davis going up against Olivia de Havilland but for sheer audacity nothing can quite top the lesbian shenanigans of Beryl Reid and co in “The Killing of Sister George”, especially the scene where nuns are seduced in the back of a taxi cab.

Many of the above titles are available for rental at Auteur House.

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Arts Diary

Youth; The Dancer - the combination of the elegance of movement.

19 Apr 2007 to Mon 07 May 2007 from 9am to 5pm at the Calder & Lawson Gallery in the Academy of Performing Arts. Free entry. For more details contact Anne Harlo on 838 4466 or anneh@waikato.ac.nz

RENT Audition / Workshop Audition workshop for all those interested in being apart of the phenomenon that is RENT. Become a rent head, join in the experience.

Auditions 5th & 6th MAY. Phone 021 455 574 for an audition time.

Scape: Sculpture in the Landscape Scape runs until 25th May in The Sculpture Park @ Waitakaruru Arboretum, 207 Scotsman Valley Rd, Tauwhare. $10 entry for adults, open from 10am until sunset.

WSA - McCaw Lewis Chapman Regional Art Awards In the Chartwell Gallery at the Artspost, from 10am to 4.30pm daily.

Entry is free. For further details contact ArtsPost@hcc.govt.nz

IHC Telecom Art Awards Exhibition 2007 Northland region entries. Judge - Denys Watkins, artist and lecturer at Elam School of Fine Arts. Running from Wednesday 9th May to Friday 8th June 2007 at Sandz Gallery, 6 Kent Street, Frankton.

The Second Level, art exhibition

by Hillcrest High School ‘The Second Level’ is an exciting opportunity for top art students of Hillcrest High School to exhibit at the Academy of Performing Arts.

The Second Level refers to them working at Level 2 last year when they produced the work and also by exhibiting at the university they are moving into a ‘second level’. Opening May 9th at 5.30pm.

Bearing Witness - documentary photography through the lens of Cheri Waititi Three very different themes are explored in Cheri Waititi’s first solo exhibition at the Calder & Lawson Gallery. 2004 Hikoi - the quiet dignity and subtle but assertive presence of the kaumatua who attended; 3rd Culture Kids - the fusion of identity of New Zealand’s Polynesian

Auditions - ‘The Opposite Sex’ Auditions are being called for a comedy called ‘The Opposite Sex’ being staged at the Gaslight Theatre in Cambridge in August. 2 Male & 2 Female Roles. Aged 30-50ish. Phone for more information or to schedule an audition time. Steve Grounds 027 4 966 757 or 827 5440

Hiroshima: Responses to Dear John A collaborative show by 7 Waikato artists, who respond in there chosen medium to a photo album belonging to Private John Hamilton, documenting his time in Japan after the devastation of the Atomic Bombs in 1945. Featuring Mark Hamilton, Brooke Baker, Joshua Watene, Lana Marquand, Steph Chalmers, Emily Rumney and Marion Manson. Open daily at the Artspost until 28 May. Entry is free.

If you know of any art events or you are an artist looking for some media exposure for your event, email nexus@waikato.ac.nz.

REVIEW

I think of you often and wish things were different James Wilson – Platform 01

Reviewed by Matt Scheurich Within the small, tiny walls of Platform 01 sits James Wilson’s exhibition, which is most interesting. Rife with symbolism and imagery, the emphasis appears to be on the meanings of these various signs and signifiers, ranging from surreal (strange insect-like mandibles) to religious (crosses) and topical issues (burning buildings). You can’t take ‘em all at face value though – the true nature of the art is that you are more than welcome to produce your own interpretation.

The style is almost comic-like; strong lines define objects, basic colours and shapes which make things strong, bold and palatable to the eye. The inclusion of words only strengthens the link to comics, but I wouldn’t say it’s a definitive link. Black

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and white dominate the works with some sparing usage of red – only one painting of the lot sports a fourth colour, and it’s one of my favourites of the show being large, bold and daunting at the same time. It’s also the title piece of the show and is probably the odd one out of all the works presented.

My interpretation of his artwork made me feel that some previous experience might have consciously impacted on James Wilson but after talking to him during the show it didn’t seem to be quite so black and white (how ironic!). Regardless, the works are very intriguing and mysterious; the ideas behind the art might appear obvious through the almost literal words and symbols, except the meaning behind could be completely different. Art’s a bitch, ain’t it?

ISSUE 8 30 APRIL 2007

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