Nā Te Ētita

Last Wiki This Wiki

Jared Ipsen

You know, I’m starting to think that our relationship is becoming toxic. I do so much for you, and what do I get in return? I read a 140 page legal document for you. I watched a two and a half hour Council meeting for you, just so I could write the news. But how are you contributing to us, our future? I see you out there, skimming over the news, heading straight for the horoscopes. Well, I wrote those too this week, so, jokes on you.

The High Court of New Zealand has ruled that specific elements of Aotearoa’s MIQ programme could have infringed on rights

of ‘at least some’ citizens to return to the country. While the courts ruled that the ‘highly successful’ MIQ voucher and hotel quarantine systems were ‘reasonable and proportionate’ to achieve public health objectives, they ruled in favour of Grounded Kiwi’s claim that the MIQ ‘lottery’ system ‘did not sufficiently allow individual circumstances to be considered and prioritised where necessary.’ The courts also found that the MIQ spots allocated to various international sports teams ‘limited the right of New Zealanders to return to New Zealand.’ Although Grounded Kiwi’s dub was a small one, the story was widely misrepresented by both the media and our elected members. National Party member Chris Bishop, who spoke out in support of the Government’s COVID response last September, falsely claimed that the court confirmed MIQ was ‘state sponsored cruelty,’ which the court never said once in their 140 page decision document. We also took the liberty of inventing a quote and attributing it to someone, with Bishop telling Nexus ‘pee pee poo poo pee poo poo.’ Despite telling Nexus earlier this year that it isn’t as easy as just changing a street name, Hamilton City Council has voted

in favour of an application to rename Von Tempsky Street

to Putikitiki Street. The street was named in 1906 to honour Gustavus Ferdinand von Tempsky, a ‘bastard of a human being’ (according to Councillor Angela O'Leary) who, among other atrocities, led the charge at one of Aotearoa’s darkest moments where in 1864 he and his men set fire to whare in Rangiaowhia with woman, elderly men and children inside. During the over 8 hour Council meeting, bald king Councillor Ewan Wilson expressed that ‘cancelling’ Von Tempsky Street was ‘too divisive,’ while Councillor Geoff Taylor noted he is ‘frankly tired’ of people talking about white supremacy and privilege and we should all just ‘move on.’ In their reply, the submitters of the name change application told Council that it’s ‘hard being told how Māori should feel about their own history.’ Councillors Ewan Wilson, Geoff Taylor and Rob Pascoe all voted against changing the name, but were defeated by a majority, much like lauded loser Von Tempsky.