Nexus 2015 Issue 14 by Nexus Magazine

N.14 / V.47

Have you achieved at a regional, national or international level? Nominations for the Wallace Corporation University of Waikato Blues Awards are now open. 2015 Award nominations close 3 August. Application forms and criteria available at waikato.ac.nz/events/blues

18 Nexus Asks Nutrionists We asked two of Hamilton’s top nutritionists how we can eat healthier.

22 20

Healthy Winter Warmers on the Cheap

Sushi Reviews

Let’s face it, food is a necessity. Without it you would shrivel up and wither away, likely to be

Our love affair with sushi needn’t have bumps

picked up in a gust of wind and blown to the land

in the road. Here’s my guide to just some of the

of Oz. However, according to the latest health

many sushi establishments in the CBD.

survey, one in three New Zealand adults are overweight — that’s 33% for those that are not doing a science or maths based degree.

NEXUS NEWS

Suck it Kermit! Why it is Getting Easier

AUNTY SLUT Faking It

to be Green 5

Shaw and Bennett Take Part in

“Great Debate”

CARNAGE Food for Thought

NEW LOCALS

Editor Jessica Wilson editor@nexusmag.co.nz Design Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editors Brittany Rose, Jules Craft Managing Editor James Raffan

Shocking Hamiltonian Culture News Editor Sam Marelich

ON THE FRINGE No Fab: Get a New Grip on Life

A FASHIONABLE LIFESTYLE I Got It Online

COOKING FOR STUDENTS

THE SINGLE LIFE Blurred

Killer Chicken Salad

Contributors Chris Kader, Philip McSweeney, Chris Reive, Jared Wooldridge, Richard Swainson, Caitlin Orton, Hp, Kelsie Moorland, Peter Dornauf, Emma Nygard, Casey Dunstan, Aunty Slut, Nicole Sebastian, Ashvini Victor, Zac Lyon Cover Illustration Shayni Green atramentousdesign@gmail.com @atramentous_design Photography Saralena White

REVIEWS

ENTERTAINMENT

ARTS

AUTEUR

SNAPPED

BLIND DATE

Advertising Andrew James aj@wsu.org.nz Offices Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton Online nexusmag.co.nz facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine

ISSUE 14 26

PUZZLES

YOUR SPACE

20 JULY 2015

Sunday Roasts: Hamilton East

FOOD

Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE

FOOD Jess Wilson

seeking solitude in the idea that prettiness would help me acquire friendships. It was a shame I associated being pretty with being skinny though, because from age 10 to age 18, I cut out all food — only eating when the magnitude of shakes became too debilitating. In my newfound pretty, thin glory, I was able to make money from my appearance. Regularly strutting for designers like Karen

I love food. I love looking at it, smelling it, touching it, playing

Walker, Zambesi, and Ruby, I seemed to have it all. But can you

with it, even eating it. (Replace ‘food’ with ‘pussy’ and you have

really have it all without chocolate gateau? Don’t answer that

an excellent erotic sentence). There’s a reason food rhymes with

question because the answer is a resounding NO. FUCK NO. I

mood — because food makes life enjoyable, but it can also make

was hangry and I was sad.

it stressful. (I’m addicted to donuts and I will not stop until I’ve eaten them all). So what better way to express my love of all things edible than with an entire issue dedicated to what we put inside us?

Life without food sucks. Your heart skips beats, your hair falls out, you can’t think straight, you start to grow hair on your chest and back, and your relationships suffer because you can’t help but picture your friend’s heads as talking donuts. Rediscovering

My relationship with food, like many women, has been tumultuous.

food last year has given meaning to my life. I can share food

As a young nosepicker, I used food as a substitute for friendships.

with friends at Mexico, rather than having my own lonely green

I would rather gnaw on a Zombie Chew than talk about my

salad. I can go out to Wonder Horse and enjoy cocktails without

new Barbies with Crystal or Jessie. Nevermind playing on the

worrying about the calorie content. I can eat vegan, gluten-free

playground when I could be drinking a massive GForce whilst

buckwheat chia pancakes with dark chocolate peanut butter

drawing pictures of cats eating donuts.

and coconut yogurt from Two Birds Eatery and feel like a good

But as the years went by, I grew lonelier and lonelier, finally

person. Good food makes life better!

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

Shitty Snaps

UniMart Gone Girl?

Anon

Why do you pick all of the shit snapchats to show? My picture of

University started off pretty fucking great this semester. I got some free Burger Fuel

Jess dancing awkwardly in the Outback was burger-worthy. Such

fries. Found a park in less than twenty minutes on Monday. There was no line at

long limbs do not lend well to dancing. Why was she even in the

Waikato Print when I got my course materials. It was perfect.

Outback? She’s not 17. Don’t get my hopes up by screenshotting and then not using it.

But then something shit happened. And I wasn’t fucking prepared for it. I went to the UniMart only to find that the UniMart girl wasn’t there. You know the one. You’d go in and buy a coke and she’d yarn for about five minutes about the nature show on the UniMart television. Her job was pretty shit, but she’d always be down for a chat.

Sad Storey

The experience would later remind you that there are poorer life decisions than doing

Dixie Normus

those who said she was a bitch.

a BA. You’d go home and smile as you read the saucy Waikato Uni confessions about her (likely written by an ex-WSU director) and find yourself getting really angry with

The new owners are nice enough. They talk about the weather and ask you how you’re so ive been talking too a girl online and in the last skype call she said

day is going. I can deal with that. But what really concerns me is that no one told me

that she was in trouble and needed money. i asked how much and her

she was leaving. She didn’t even mention it. Nexus, you’ve let me down. You have a

reply was about three fiddy. i then realised i wasnt talking to a girl but

News section. You have a few half-decent journalists. And yet, this wasn’t covered in

the god damn scaly reptaile. i closed my laptop and never spoken again

a single issue. You could have warned me.

Boots with the Fury

Paid Parking Debate

Furious

Charlie

why was Apple Bottom Jeans playing in town.

I actually had a really good time at the paid parking debate. MPs James Shaw and David

I thought we were above this.

Bennett provided a sense of humor and some charm that get you a long way in politics. Tim Batt talked a lot about anal sex with some comments about parking thrown in there.

Arson and Other Study Aides

Unimpressed Bruce

Matt It’s been 13 years since I’ve ousted with a woman, but I still know when I’m being dilied I support Melissa Hughes’s comments in Nexus about access to MS6.

by hells. You people at Nexus have been going on for too long. I want a full apology.

There should be access to toilets within the building after hours and I

I expect a full apology and some money back before next Monday. Please respond to

have emailed the university about this without getting a reply. Although

my email so that I know that you’ve gotten this complaint and that I can expect your

I usually work (with other economics students) in the part which has not

apology in the mail. You will be hearing from my lawyer. Hope We Meet Again.

been shut off, sometimes at weekends this involves walking through a class occurring in the teaching lab. Furthermore, there has been an arson attempt in the nearest toilets by

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer

the kahikatea grove in MS4, and these toilets are sometimes locked and

alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions

sometimes unlocked after hours. I don’t think a proper risk assessment

so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in

of the decision to shut the main MS6 labs (or of unlocking those in

Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and

MS4) has been undertaken. I would support having after hours access

Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus

to the main MS6 block, while allowing for some labs to be shut to save

reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law,

on energy costs. Ironically during the recent two week recess all the

is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

MS6 labs were open, lit and heated during weekdays, despite very few

Email your lettuce to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz

students being there. 2

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

ON YA

NEED TO KNOW

SILVER AT WORLD UNIVERSITY GAMES

GATE SWAP

Hillary athletics scholar Camille Buscomb won

Gate 2a is part of your address or a frequent meeting point.

Gate 2a is changing to Gate 2 from 3 August following a review of gate signage on campus. This shouldn’t impact students but please take note if

silver in the 5000m final last weekend with a time of 16:03.72.

GETTING TO CAMPUS Visit www.waikato.ac.nz/fmd/getting-to-campus/ for all the latest info

BLACK FERNS WIN SUPER-SERIES Hillary scholar Stacey Waaka was in the Black Ferns squad which won the World Women’s Rugby Super-Series trophy in Canada recently,

about alternative transport options and parking in 2016.

APPLAUDING ADULT LEARNERS Know an adult student who deserves some recognition? Nominate them for an award at www.waikato.ac.nz/go/adultlearnersweek before 24 July.

defeating USA 47-17.

FREEMASONS NAME WINNERS Darelle Howard (left), Brielle Gillovic, Christina Hanna

SUMMER RESEARCH SCHOLARSHIPS Want a summer job that involves real-world research and academic experience? Check out the $5000 Summer Research Scholarship projects available at www.waikato.ac.nz/scholarships. Applications close 31 August.

and Annie West won 2015 Freemasons Scholarships worth $6000, for their academic achievement, leadership and community involvement.

NOMINATE FOR BLUES If you or someone you know is at the top of their sport or creative or

BMXER OFF TO BELGIUM Twelve-time national champion and Hillary scholar Codi Merito is on his way to the UCI BMX World Championships in Belgium.

performing art — nominate them at www.waikato.ac.nz/events/blues for a 2015 Blue. Nominations close 3 August.

SHOW OFF YOUR RESEARCH The Three Minute Thesis (3MT) is a doctoral student competition – top prize worth $3500! Register at www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/postgraduate/3mt There’s also a new 3MT for masters students — with $1000 to be won. More info at www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/postgraduate/masters.shtml. Applications

U23 TEAM 3RD IN NETBALL CHAMPS Sam Sinclair (left), Simmon Howe, Kelly Jury, Ngawai Eyles and Emily Patterson were in the Netball Waikato Bay of Plenty U23 team who came third in this year’s age group championships.

close 31 August.

KICK-START YOUR CAREER Need help planning your career? Book in for a Hamilton or Tauranga career workshop via iWaikato. Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other needto-knows.

Full stories available on the University website. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz 3

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEXUS NEWS NEWS FEATURE

SUCK IT KERMIT! WHY IT IS GETTING EASIER TO BE GREEN… James Raffan

someone else. Even Russel Norman had his quirks. He never seemed truly content with just being the smartest kid in school, he wanted you to know that he was smart. He and Metiria grew the Greens and held the base in an election that was basically the Red Wedding of Liberal values. In the broadest sense of it all, James Shaw has something that separates him from his predecessors: he’s someone who could take the Greens mainstream and make them an electable alternative. That was not the interview conclusion that I was expecting.

Something strange happened at the end of Clubs Day last week. James Shaw, newly minted co-leader of the Green Party appeared in the Nexus office. Or at least we think he did. To be honest we were three days into re-orientation and running on a cocktail of energy drinks, no-doz, and Cookie Time s’mores. What you are about to read is either our real first impressions of an interview we were in no way prepared for, or the ranting hallucinations of someone at the end of the Re-O spiral into madness. Hopefully someone will run it by James Shaw to make sure any of it actually happened. Either way it should be entertaining.

With a checked shirt, a casual business blazer and jeans, my first impression of James Shaw was that he looked more like a Barkers catalogue model than a politician. I was ready to embrace all of the Blue-Green media narrative and talk about him being National-lite and then he spoke and I realised how wrong I was. He was soft spoken but confident. He knows where he wants to go, and more importantly I got the sense that he can’t be put in any particular box. “I think the centre is a myth. I get quite frustrated with this idea that politics is this linear binary construction.” And after spending an hour with him it was clear that he’s anything but linear or binary. He may be a “Business Green” but he is definitely

I don’t know what I was expecting but it certainly wasn’t James Shaw, at least not

a Green first. Free education, solar energy, Rental Warrant of Fitness and upgraded

this version of him. The Green Party leaders, the ones I knew, or at least felt I had

public transport were all buzzwords that sparked a policy discussion about which

a sense of and an admiration for, were all a little bit crazy. They had that touch of

he was both passionate and pragmatic .

eccentricity to them that made them engaging while confining them to the cellar of the “outside of cabinet, confidence and supply only” support party.

He also won some extra cool points for naming Bowie’s Putting Out Fire With Gasoline, Oasis’ Definitely Maybe, and Charlie Haden and Pat Metheny’s Beyond

Whether it was Rod Donald’s Ed Begley Jnr suspenders and bicycle, or Jeanette

the Missouri Sky as his top three albums. Avengers was his most recently viewed

Fitzsimons’ “pot smoking, beauty queen, gran vibe” there was something that

film, and the fact that he added “Age of Ultron” to quickly distinguish himself made

made you think that those guys were cool… before you went and voted for

him seem appropriately geeky enough to spend time with too.

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

His real passion is politics though and the man who described Green Party Leader

NEWS

as “his favourite job…so far,” could be about to lead the Green Party into a new and significantly different era and it looks as though he certainly has a plan to do it. “After the last election we did surveys and we discovered that 28% of people considered voting for us and then voted for someone else. They are connecting with us at some level because of our values or our policies but something is stopping them from voting for us and we need to understand what that is.” “There is a collection of responses that speak to the idea of credibility. Voters just want to know that we have competence to govern and it is that competence that they vote for over values or policy.” Shaw was also quick to address the work that had already been done to make the Green’s a credible force. “Russell and Metiria lead us to our two most successful elections and really started to establish that credibility,” and whilst the challenge of filling Norman’s shoes seemed tough to media commentators following the election, James seems confident that he has the right message and the strategy to deliver it. “We need to show we are ready to govern and grow and part of the way we do that is to broaden our base, If you look at where we do best they are university towns and that could be a really accessible community for our message but it isn’t the only one.” Somewhere in that moment as he referenced literature an interesting thought entered my mind and it’s been floating around the back of it as I write this. There is a real possibility he might actually pull it off. He has the charisma and the pragmatism to do it and he might actually be able to make the Green Party into a force in New Zealand politics. The biggest compliment I can offer having spent today with him is that James Shaw is connected to the voter and what drives them. It’s that undefinable X-Factor that Winston and Key had. He knows what potential Green voters want to see and what they don’t and he should trust those instincts. He knows for instance that for the Greens to be taken seriously by everyone’s mum and dad they need to stand candidates in electorates and he kinda wants to do that. “A lot of people say that [they want electorate candidates]. We have always said we would eventually move to a two tick party approach. It’s not just saying it,

SHAW AND BENNETT TAKE PART IN “GREAT” DEBATE Chris Kader

you also have to resource it. A two tick campaign is two lots of campaign material.” “My personal opinion is now is the time, but we need to have that conversation

New Green Party co-leader James Shaw made a visit to leafy Waikato.

amongst the party”

The first part of his itinerary was a meeting with 12 university locals inside

“If not now, it’s close. If you look at the last election we outraised the Labour

Momento to discuss the issue of inequality in New Zealand. James listened

Party. There is still a lot of our campaign machine to develop that isn’t there yet

patiently while people talked about their own experiences and perceptions

but it can be”

of social inequity and what they think should be done.

Perhaps more striking than his ambition was his understanding of the nuanced political subtlety that was perhaps lacking in his immediate predecessor. He referred to National adopting Labour’s (formerly maligned) capital gains tax in Auckland as “brilliant politics”, and then proceeded to explain why it was a little evil. “What National are doing at the moment is announcing a whole slew of watered down green policies...It’s a weak tea approach and — this is the thing that drives me MENTAL about this government — they do a lot of things to make it look like they are doing something rather than actually doing something.” He wants credibility for his party, he wants them to be an alternative and a principled one. He said they need to “quadruple the party’s membership” and wants serious thought put into “releasing an alternative budget and set of accounts” because “It also helps us to prioritise and demonstrates to the public that we can do that sort of the thinking.”

Before too long he had to duck off to a very different event at the Academy of Performing Arts, namely a debate on the currently contentious issue of whether students should pay for parking on campus, or as one of the debaters pointed out, their mere ‘right to hunt’ for a park. James Shaw and his team were pitted against local MP David Bennett, who was arguing for free parking. References were made to David Bennett’s Bolshevism throughout the debate, which, by about half-way through actually caused him to look a little like Nikita Khrushchev. Less obviously-ironic accusations were directed at James and his team about the former HSBC consultant’s capitalist convictions. The whole premise, plus the convoluted and funny arguments presented by each team actually proved too confusing at times, with debaters forgetting what they were for. A number of uncomfortable jokes about people living in their cars were almost forgotten when a member of David Bennett’s team stole the debate with an extended anal

I don’t know if New Zealand is ready for sensible green politics that are also

sex metaphor... In spite of moments of awkwardness, it was enjoyable to

ambitious, but I am looking forward to finding out. I also don’t know that I agree

observe the MPs in such a raucous and student-dominated environment,

with Shaw’s view that he is “More an expression of [the Green Party] than the

beneath the superb lighting rig of the centre. Parking-fee baron Vice-

other way round” but if this is the future of Green NZ then it’s definitely worth

Chancellor Neil Quigley and a person in a gorilla suit were

considering.

attendance.

also in

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS

JUST THE TIP: WHY IT DOESN’T PAY TO STAY IN SCHOOL Brittany Rose

BLACK IS THE NEW ORANGE Philip McSweeney

Your roving reporter from Wellington arrived at the hub of Victoria University, the university he has successfully infiltrated, on Monday and immediately saw that

During the semester break, two representatives of Tutors Unite!

things looked a bit different. In lieu of the usual fluorescent lighting that makes

approached the WSU with the intent of getting sessional assistants some,

everyone’s skin look bad, the whole thing was cloistered in a blackness so intense

well, assistance. Nexus spoke with Tegan Andrews and Joseph Graddy to

I felt that my density was being sucked into a vortex. Over one railing was a

find out what Tutors Unite! is, who’s involved, and whether or not they’re

black banner displaying the phrase “Democratic Election NOT Council Selection”.

just a pack of whingers.

Meanwhile, all the windows of the hub were adorned in black cloth, making the

Tutors Unite! are working alongside the Tertiary Education Union (TEU) to “take action” in regards to the unreliable nature of contracts and low

entire space quite literally blacked out. Why, you might ask, was the Hub darker than the combined pigments of the Wu-Tang Clan?

remuneration involved in being a sessional assistant. Currently the group

The Victoria University of Wellington Students Association — or VUWSA, for

consists of mainly Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences tutors, but they

short — were responsible for blacking out the Hub to protest proposed changes

are wanting to expand to include other faculties and draw a range of

to the University Council. If implemented, these changes would remove all

perspectives on issues surrounding employment.

democratically elected student seats from the council, instead cherry-picking

The Academic Staff Collective Employment Agreement between

students and gaining complete control over who composes the University Council.

the University of Waikato and the TEU has tutor pay documented as

VUWSA president, Rick Zwaan, has publicly condemned these suggested

anywhere between $40,940 and $59,588 this year. It states that: “Salary

changes, pointing out that “it’s important that decisions are made by a student

on appointment will have regard to the appointee’s relevant skills,

community and not a select few [deliberately chosen] people”. The insinuation

qualifications and experience.” Sounds great, right? Unfortunately this is

is that the proposed change is merely another step in enhancing governmental

not the contract that sessional assistants (read: tutors) are employed on.

and bureaucratic influence over the way the government is run at the expense of

Sessional assistants have no definitive role, nor do they have a specific job

students and their experience.

description. Expectations vary from paper to paper, lecturer to lecturer, and

While theoretically there would still be student representation on the Council,

department to department; and there are inconsistencies across faculties in

the problem of skipping the whole ‘democratically-elected spokespeople’ thing

regards to employment contracts. Generally, contracts are fixed term, with

is obvious: the university would be given the power to cherry-pick what Zwaan

no guarantee of hours, no sick leave and no holiday pay. Wages don’t start

calls “yes-people”; acquiescent patsies unlikely to question the university’s vision

at a living wage. Wages do increase with experience, but this is capped and

or adequately represent students.

very low, starting only just above the minimum wage mark — about $15.

In another flagrant breach of democratic principles, the proposed change ignores the

Is this the worst wage in the world? Probably not; but there’s a rumour

fact that over 80 percent of students surveyed by VUWSA wanted representatives

going around that sessional assistants are educated, qualified individuals

to be democratically elected. This data was available to the University Council, and

who lighten the workloads of lecturers, plan and deliver course content, act

presumably ignored despite their insistence on ‘public consultation’.

as an intermediary between the student cohort and course convenor, and mark assessment.

While the ‘Blacking Out’ of the Hub is a little bit trite symbolically -- it represents the University Management ‘blacking out’ the student voice, according to Zwaan

There is an expectation that the path to academia will involve experience

-- it has been effective, with most of the messages written on the banners

tutoring, an expectation that PHD students will be enhancing the learning

condemning the proposed policy. Other written comments include “Katriona

experiences of undergraduate students, and first year master’s students

smells”, “Who Cares”, “This is a bunch of bullshit” and “KEITH 4 [sic] PREZ”.

alongside senior academic staff. Tutors have to mark 100 level essays — probably riddled with syntax errors — on anything from Batman: Dark Knight Rises to Sigmund Freud. Now that’s hard work.

When asking one student what she thought of the measure, she suggested that it was a bit heavy-handed: “It feel as though blacking out should be reserved for protesting something really bad, like systemic racism and sexism”. It’s not an

But why should the average first-year care? Does this have any relevance to

uncompelling argument; two famous “black-outs” of recent history include the cover

undergraduates? Simply put, yes. The better the quality of tutor, the better

of The New Yorker the weak after the events of 9/11 and to protest rape culture,

the quality of learning, and the better the academic result of the individual

which makes who comprises the university council seem pretty banal in comparison.

student. Sessional assistants and tutors are asking to be enabled to perform at a high standard, and their employment conditions do not currently reflect the value that sessional assistants hold within the University of Waikato. Are you a sessional assistant? https://goo.gl/clS0aT Facebook: Tutors Unite! Waikato University

N.14 / V.47

things were… I wouldn’t have known what to do either”. Say what you like about the methods: the goals are certainly laudable and will undoubtedly be meritorious to the student population.

Share your views on your employment conditions via the survey at:

Yet another student said “Without the blackout, I wouldn’t have known how fucked

FOOD

If you want to help out us poor beleaguered Vic students, you can make a submission the proposal by emailing council-consultation@vuw.ac.nz before 5pm, 24 July, 2015.

Sports NEXUS MAGAZINE

SPORTS OPINION

HIGH FIVE

FUN RECORDS The longest recorded inning in Major League Baseball lasted for 1 hour and 8 minutes. In the 5th inning of a game between Detroit and Texas in 2004, a total of 110 pitches were thrown in the inning, with 18 runs being scored. In the 1961-62 NBA season, Cincinnati Royals guard, Oscar Robertson, averaged a triple-double for the season (at least 10 points, 10 rebounds and 10 assists per game.) He is the only person in NBA history to have done this. In 1995, the All Blacks recorded their biggest ever. The ABs took on Japan and came away 145-17 winners.

THE CATHRINE LATU CONUNDRUM Chris Reive

Warriors winger Manu Vatuvei became the first player in the history of the competition to score 10 or

A couple weeks ago, the Silver Ferns named their team that will head to Sydney and challenge for the Netball World Cup, with one major omission: shooter Catherine

more tries in 10 consecutive seasons earlier this year. Say what you will about The Beast, he gets it done.

Latu. Latu was replaced with 20-year old debutant, Malia Paseka, who was one of the form shooters in the ANZ Championship this year for the Waikato/BoP Magic.

In 2006, Sri Lanka’s Kumar Sangakkara and Mahela

I find this decision really quite interesting. Instead of selecting an internationally

Jayawardene set the record for the highest third

experienced shooter like Latu, who has been in the team since 2011, they have

wicket partnership in a test match, spanking the

taken someone with no experience on the world stage. Unfortunately for Latu, her

South African bowler for 624 runs. Sangakkara score

inability to play in both shooting positions (she can only play GS) has cost her a

287 in the inning. Jayawardene went on to score 374.

spot in the world cup squad, and Paseka and Bailey Mes can fill both spots. If the Silver Ferns were heading into a series against England, Malawi, Jamaica or the likes, I’d understand it. But trying to bring home a world cup title and not

SHOULD IT BE A SPORT?

selecting your most experienced players does raise the question of whether you think you can win, or you’re using it to blood the next generation. For me, I’m very sceptical that the Silver Ferns can beat the Aussies this year. As unpatriotic as it sounds, the girls from across the ditch have had our number over the past year or two. Even if Latu can’t fill GA, her pure ability at GS should really be utilised in this tournament as one of the best at the position in the country. If we didn’t win, I’d be happy knowing we had the best squad for the job and were just beaten by a better squad. Six of the 12 named in the squad have not played in a World Cup game, so they are going to be heavily reliant on the experience of, in particular, Casey Kopua, Laura Langman, and Leana de Bruin to help the team deal with the pressure. It seems a little like the coaching staff have thrown in the towel and are already looking forward to the 2019 world cup.

SAFE BET

UNDERWATER HOCKEY Underwater Hockey really only began as a spot when all the horses started drowning in Water Polo. Someone clearly thought Ice Hockey is awesome,

Safe Bet Watford to be relegated from the Premier League, $1.60

Field Hockey is slightly less cool but with sticks. Can we think of a third,

Bit of a Risk Hull to win the English Championship, $10

much lamer version? and if so can we add snorkels? Should it be a sport?

Long Shot Washington Redskins to win Super Bowl 50, $101

Let us know what you think editor@nexumag.co.nz 7

NEXUS MAGAZINE Left vs. Right

XIU’S ON FIRST: IS LABOUR PLAYING THE RACE GAME OR JUST SHIT AT RESEARCH? When is racism not racism? When you’re in parliament and looking for a wedge issue to gain traction. Nexus was a little surprised to watch Phil Twyford’s morning show statements. We were even more surprised to learn that his “research” involved one real estate company and grouping names based on the perceived origin of ethnicity. Poorly researched ranting is our thing! We expect better from you. We tried hard to find two sides to this story... honestly we did. LEFT

RIGHT

One problem with Phil Twyford and the Labour Party’s data revelations on

Presumably inspired by Donald Trump’s recent success in the American

Auckland house sales is that there appears to be some truth to the significance

presidential race, Labour’s Phil Twyford has scapegoated Chinese investors as

of overseas speculators as a factor in overheating the market. Another is the

key part of the Auckland housing crisis. We get it, “‘I’m not racist, some of my

murkiness about where the original data came from and what exactly has been

best friends are yellow.” But let’s be frank, this was the initial goal, by an MP

done to it to come up with the stark numbers which were presented.

who is only rivalled in incompetence by Dr Nick Smith.

Unfortunately, by choosing to focus on — presumed — Chinese speculators,

The National party care about skyrocketing rents as much as they care about

and fail to temper their assertions for the sake of sensitivity, Labour inevitably

tertiary students. Their core constituents are middle aged baby boomers

entered the realm, even if just in a small way, of New Zealand First style Yellow

who’ve made all their money on the property market and are about to suck the

Peril rhetoric.

state dry with expensive healthcare and gold class pensions. If National were

But if the crude focus on Chinese-sounding names was cynical, Phil Twyford has pointed out that the cynicism on this issue runs both ways, blaming the

true right wingers we’d be seeing a major reform in how land is managed — that whole balancing of supply and demand is something that’s just not happening.

need to resort to leaked data on the government’s refusal to take strong action

We also need to ratchet down on overseas buyers buying huge chunks of

against foreign speculators, let alone set up a register of foreign buyers to

land. That’s where Labour get racist, it’s not so bad when white people from

provide us with open source data on their presence.

America, Australia, or Canada buy our stuff apparently. I’ve heard a few people

It’s true that foreign speculation (which obviously isn’t the same as Chinese speculation) must be a factor in driving up Auckland’s housing prices, it’s also true of tthe government’s lack of action on this, and a myriad of other factors, which seems purely down to a dogmatic commitment to not fixing a capital gains-friendly market is frustrating. The need to defend the rights of average residents against foreign capital is important as ever, however, this move by Labour will unfortunately probably play well in a lot of circles for completely the wrong reasons. The basic ugliness of xenophobia just makes the seemingly careless, if not malign, singling out of identifiably Chinese people too much to justify rhetorically or strategically. Hopefully we can acknowledge the wrongness of the way this was brought up

defend this saying, “We can’t trust the Chinese because they’re communist.” Get real. Nothing is more ruthless than Americans equipped with a spreadsheet and pressure from Wall St. It’s not racist to say we need to restrict the property market to residents and citizens. It’s racist to say we need to restrict the property market to New Zealanders and foreigners with white surnames. In a nutshell the entire housing issue is nothing more than pandering to baby boomers. National doesn’t care. Labour can’t organise a pissup in a brewery. The New Zealand Herald and Stuff are more interested in what Kourtney Kardashian said than robust reporting. We can, and should, demand better than this and unfortunately the only parties who seem to have solid ideas are Act, the Maori Party, and the Greens — all of whom are too weak to shape national policy.

without hesitating to talk about the actual problems or call out the government

We usually see racist comments used to divide us as a distraction from solid

for standing by as things get worse.

policy ideas. Donald Trump, Winston Peters, and FOX News are all great examples of plenty of yelling but no sensible ideas for moving forward. It’s disappointing to see Labour take the same route, especially after so little action from National on such an important issue

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

FILM REVIEW

MINIONS

MADAME BOVARY

Jared Wooldridge

Richard Swainason

How many Minions does it take until one’s body undergoes an

Despite the near perfect casting of Mia Wasikowska in the title

adverse reaction to all that sustained cuteness and tries to purge

role, this new adaptation of Gustave Flaubert’s 1856 novel is a

it from its system? As it turns out, about an hour and a half. They

disappointment. The script gives the star too little to work with,

were hilarious in their first two movie appearances, where they

omitting details about Emma Bovary’s early life and courtship.

were merely sidekicks to the plot. As the star of the show... well,

The character’s susceptibility to romantic fiction, a crucial factor

they don’t say “too much of a good thing” for nothing.

in her disappointment with married life, is never established,

The movie kicks off brilliantly enough, with a view of Minions

making much of her subsequent behaviour inexplicable.

through time, as they struggle to find a despicable master to

Director Sophie Barthes has an eye for pleasing images and

serve. Three of their number (Kevin, Stuart, and Bob) branch

some of her rural compositions are reminiscent of those of

out solo to find one of their own at Villain-Con, in an adventure

Terence Malick. Whatever the high production values and period

that sees them in London attempting a heist. However, past the

detail though, an international cast results in inconsistencies in

great opening bit, the story is drab, the human characters quite

acting style and tone. Rhys Ifans’ Monsieur Lheureux, Madame

dull, and above all is the feeling that this is nothing more than a

Bovary’s principal creditor, easily steals the film, but this skews

soulless cash-grab.

the drama away from the romance. Ironically, Ifans, a Welshman,

That’s not to say Minions is entirely without merit; for 30-40

is the only cast member who seems in any way French.

minutes the movie was pleasant and enjoyable enough, but in

Given that the basic story is one of adultery, the bedroom

the end 90 minutes was too much of the sickly sweet cuteness

scenes assume some importance and Wasikowska does display

that the Minions provide, even at my least cynical. Children will

more sensuality than ever before. However, there’s little heat

love it, as will those attracted to bright colors. In the end, it’s all a

generated between Bovary and her seducers.

bit like a deep-fried Mars bar. Too much of what you love makes you start feeling sick.

The film’s greatest sin is that it fails to make its audience care much about its heroine’s fate. Emma Bovary’s story should be a tragedy, we should feel her claustrophobic frustrations at being trapped in a bourgeois marriage, but too often in Barthes’ version she seems merely a vain and capricious woman.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Reviews

FOOD REVIEW

APP REVIEW

THE LONDONER

DUMB WAYS TO DIE

Caitlin Orton

Brittany Rose

If the name doesn’t already give it away then the local football

My 12-year-old cousin goes to a wanky school where BYOD

scarves, poker playing pugs, and a Winston Churchill portrait

(Bring Your Own Device) is a part of every classroom. She was

certainly will. Welcome to a piece of colonial heritage.

required to download a few literacy — and numeracy-based

I went in with caution, envisioning a group of surly men at the bar proudly defending their local teams in a haze of cigar smoke.

games, and a Bible app. She uses her $800 piece of stationery to play games like Dumb Ways to Die.

However, I was somewhat let down by the Londoners’ reality.

The premise is simple: you have three lives, and you’re put in

Maybe it was an off night, but the Friday night crowd consisted

scenario after scenario where bright animated creatures are

of a middle aged lady sipping tea as she read in a corner booth,

slaughtered in an absurd manner if you do not tap or flick

a family dinner party by the fire, and a manager with his eyes

the screen correctly. The ways the adorable creatures may be

glued to the golf.

executed are all rather dumb. One particularly dumb death-

Luckily my mother and I fit right in. A pot of tea later and we had downed two main courses and a dessert to split. Needless

method is via the explosion of the planet if you fail to exercise self restraint and NOT press the red button.

to say, we were well stuffed. The chips were hand cut and the

Levels increase in difficulty as they get “faster, fasterer and

mushy peas sent me back to the days of being babysat by my

fastererer”. Death strobes across your screen as you swipe a

grandparents. The Londoner gave us it’s all when it came to

fork from a toaster, only to be electrocuted to death; it splatters

portion sizes and the brownie-to-share had me scraping for

against your fingertips when you fail to tilt the little astronaut

every last ounce of the berry sauce from the plate.

into its helmet before its head explodes and eyeballs roll; and

While it may not be the raver of a Thursday night, this pub has character. The cheap as chips menu made up for the slight wait

the demise of your winning streak spurts from lime green holes if you fail to stopper the gushing blood wounds with your fingers.

and you can be sure I’ll be back next Wednesday for their weekly

A cheerful tune accompanies this compulsively addictive game,

pub quiz.

it keeps you hooked, and adds a sense of momentum to your achievement — as well as an early 2000’s flippy-phone ringtone vibe. It’s great for mindless time-wasting when you have no WiFi access and don’t wanna use data, but other than that, it’s pretty pointless. All in all Dumb Ways to Die is a pretty dumb game, and people who play it are probably dumb too. But that didn’t stop me and my partner spending a good half hour incessantly attempting to one-up eachothers’ high scores.

N.14 / V.47

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Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

BOOK REVIEW

MUSIC REVIEW

THE NAME OF THE WIND BY PATRICK ROTHFUSS

WUAVÉ SEASON EP BY SPYCC

Kelsie Morland

Fantasy has become extremely popular amongst modern

Onehunga and Young Gifted and Broke (YGB) bright spark has a

audiences, with novella such as Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings,

new EP out that is bound to find the ear holes of hip hop heads

and Game of Thrones grabbing the attention of the mainstream.

everywhere. Partly because you can download it for free or koha,

The escapist appeal of far-off settings, beasts and heroes seems

and partly because David Dallas shows up on a track, but mostly,

to have captivated audiences, sky-rocketing the sales of fantasy

this EP shows off the next generation of smooth rappers with

genre novels.

flow to burn.

Patrick Rothfuss’ Name of the Wind first and foremost is an

Spycc has a strong sense of nostalgia here. When he’s talking

exquisitely written book. The poetic nature of which it describes

about his childhood with his neighbour on YKM (You Know Me)

the setting had me hooked from the first prologue. From then

or the 90s influenced beats and tape deck clunks. What works

on there was no relenting from the awe and wonder. Due to the

for him though, is that even though there’s shimmering 90’s LA-

beautiful writing, the reader is transported right into the world of

styling, when he picks up the pace like in the title track, he sounds

Kvothe (pronounced like “Quothe”) and his travels. Kvothe being

slick and modern. It’s this split, his ability to change up his vocal

the main protagonist, a man of many talents tells his story of

delivery and sound sharp over swooshing treble that means he’s

becoming one of the most powerful wizards of the age.

almost to sit in two camps and that’s what makes this EP.

As hard as I have tried it is incredibly difficult to describe this

The other key point that makes Spycc an MC to watch is that so

book as it’s something I haven’t come across. I could NOT put

many of the six tracks on this EP could be Summer Hits. Other

this down and have already ordered the sequel Wise Man’s Fear.

Lover for example has the silky r’n’b vocals of High Hoops to help

I thank my English tutor Matt Elder for sharing his love of fantasy

push it over the line. While Spycc could use to work on some

and showing me a new appreciation for art.

of his lyrics, lines like “The camera taking shots like an Uzi” for example is a little cliché gangster rap, there’s enough potential here for this EP to be a hit and to hold our collective breath for a full-lengther.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment

HOROSCOPES

Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)

Cancer (June 21 — July 22)

This week you may feel creative, artistic, and beaming

When he said he didn’t love you, he actually said he

with inspiration. Be careful because that’s how Van

didn’t love ewe, as in the female sheep. He loves you and

Gogh felt before he cut off his ear.

he wants you to keep harassing his new girlfriend.

Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)

Leo (July 23 — August 22)

Official word from the gods: you’ll be okay. Just ‘okay’,

You’re wondering if you should follow up the fling you

you ask? Yo don’t push it. We know about Re-O —

instigated at the onesie party? You’re in a strategic

we won’t tell your boyfriend, but we’re comfortable

position for a winter romance — If they’ve seen your

informing those who can condemn you to hell.

onesie, you can’t get any less attractive.

Pisces (February 19 — March 20)

Virgo (August 23 — September 22)

What is wrong with your face? I’m sleeping in, so can

Nobody puts Nexus in the corner. So whoever keeps

you take notes for me at our 9am class? Are you going

moving our stand in the MSB foyer… you won’t know

to eat that? (an example of things you should never say

when, you won’t know how, but the end is near. Get wise

to another human being if you want to live this week).

about it.

Aries (March 21 — April 19)

Libra (September 23 — October 22)

You will have a charmed week. Little mice will do your

The reality of the second week back will quickly crush

bidding, birds will help you dress, rose petals will fall

your spirit. Find solace in cheap alcohol and friendships

from the sky… just be careful where you step, because

of convenience. Chin up — you can’t shot tequila with

one rodent death will definitely kill the vibe.

your shoulders dropped in despair.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)

Naysayers rejoice! Your negative viewpoint will be

Since you asked, no she’s not sleeping with him. Yes, we

appreciated this week. Spread your pessimism far before

know for sure. No, you don’t need to drive by his house

everyone gets over their hangovers and back-to-school

just to check. Oh, come on, we’re trying to help you out

blues and you’re back to being left off party invites again.

— put the shiv down and finish your accounting readings.

Gemini (May 21 — June 20)

Sagittatrius (November 22 — December 21)

Some people are just the worst. Mercury knows it, Venus

Time to widen your friendship horizons. You never know

knows it, Pluto used to know it but now we discount

whom you’re going to meet at that awesome soiree,

his opinion… just shake it off, as the good Lord Swift

bonding over the gluten-free pizza or tempeh sliders.

preaches. We all have opinions, but some of them are shit.

Could this friendship last a lifetime?

WHAT’S HOT WHAT’S NOT

WHAT’S HOT 1. Lecturers who don’t mind that you missed the first week of lectures. Love ya. 2. Caitlyn Jenner’s show, premiering on July 26. Don’t lie, you’re going to watch it. 3. Getting a rebound on Yik Yak after a messy Re-O break-up.

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

WHAT’S NOT 1. Bars without soap in their bathrooms. I’m tipsy, not an animal. 2. That one guy who shows up to every party on hard drugs. 3. Friends who don’t give back massages.

Entertainment NEXUS MAGAZINE

PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME

TRENDING ON TWITTER

“I LIT MY UNIVERSE ON FIRE AND I WATCHED IT BURN.”

#TODAYSKIDSWILLNEVERKNOW one rass eediat @chesterjones_ · Jul 14 #todayskidswillneverknow the strength u needed to get the car window down 1,409

– Kristen Stewart on cutting her hair shorter.

“HEY I DELETED THE PHOTO OF MY BUTT ON INSTAGRAM...”

800

JUST A GIRL ‘ @_Catiasofia33 · Jul 14 #todayskidswillneverknow about holding your phone to a speaker & waiting for your favourite part to come on to record your ringtone.

– Justin Bieber’s statement after a child saw his butt photo.

“I HATE AMERICANS.”

1,500

– Ariana Grande after seeing donuts.

1,325

Kids Wont Know ‘ @kidswontknow · Jul 14 #todayskidswillneverknow who Tom from MySpace was 514

670

Stitch ‘ @StitchYT · Jul 14 #todayskidswillneverknow I WANTED THESE SO BAD

YIK YAK OF THE WEEK

338

I thought that I kept seeing the same girl today and uni and then realised that there’s thousands of girls in puffer jackets, leggings, and black Nikes here

390

BEST OF THE WEB

CELEBRITY LIFE IMPROVEMENT

lennyletter.com

goop.com

preserve.us

laurenconrad.com

Lena Dunham and Jenni Konner’s

Gwyneth Paltrow’s website about

“The stories and creation of artisans.”

Not sure what celebrity owns this

email newsletter. Feminism, style,

Gwyneth Paltrow by people liked by

Blake Lively’s shopping website

lifestyle blog. There’s no way I can tell.

health, politics, and friendship are just

Gwyneth Paltrow. Great for inducing

disguised as a lifestyle website. Great

Whoever owns this blog, they sure

some of the things Lenny promises.

vomiting.

if you want a pair of $150 leggings.

have good taste. 13

NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts

Politics, Art, and Religion Peter Dornauf

The two central works in the show are large woollen blankets on which are set silhouetted figures in felt that have as their subject those two matching historic events mentioned above. In mirroring symmetrical format, like some rorschach test, the artist has designed the dominating symbols associated with those incidents. In Rua Kenana’s ArrestMaungapohatu 1916, the outlined figure of Rua is present along with the temple he built on the mountain, the playing card symbols of diamonds and clubs used as a spiritual coda and the figures of birds, some of which feature predominantly in other smaller works in the show.

Some families are just naturally talented, and the Ratana clan are a

The blanket figurations are coloured blue, which for Rua was derived from

case in point. Don Ratana is a well-known Waikato artist and teacher

the Bible — one of the colours of the royal vestments of the house of Israel,

and his two daughters, Saffron and Aimee, have followed in their his

and used to paint the club emblems on the exterior of the temple. The

footsteps. Saffron has a national profile and her younger sister, Aimee,

two storied circular temple, called Hiona (Zion) was part of Rua Kenana’s

who completed a Masters in Maori Visual Arts at Massey University, in

messianic vision, setting himself up as a messiah figure, complete with

2006, is on the same trajectory.

long hair and beard in the mould of the Jewish Jesus. He claimed to be

She currently has a show on campus at the Calder and Lawson Gallery,

the new Christ with the ability to perform miracles. The biggest miracle he

(Performing Arts Academy), called, Nga Manu A Tane: Nga Manu E Rere.

performed was to provide the Tuhoe people with hope.

features an historical look at the troubled relations between Maori

He was a bit of a showman and snappy dresser and Amiee Ratana presents him wearing his fedora-like hat in her work.

and Pakeha that reach back to the turn of the twentieth century. The

This is a fascinating part of New Zealand history, one that sees an

exhibition involves the tragic episode surrounding Maori prophet,

eccentric amalgamation of politics and religion, beautifully documented

Rua Kenana and his followers in the Ureweras. This of course was

in books like Mihaia by Judith Binney, Gillian Chaplin and Craig Wallace.

compounded by a repeat performance 100 years later in 2007 with

Others that cover the same territory are Bronwyn Elsmore’s Mana from

the Ruatoki Raids.

Heaven and Peter Webster’s Rua and the Maori Millennium.

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

Image: 1916, Aimee Ratana (2011)

The Ratanas are from Tuhoe, and so it’s no surprise that the exhibition

Auteur NEXUS MAGAZINE

Auteur House Presents: The Patsy Richard Swainson

Clearly Lewis saw himself as a great comic in the traditions of the silent clowns. His combination of slapstick, verbal humour and pathos aspires to be Chaplinesque. Some French critics have long thought such comparisons credible. I do not. Lewis’ mugging and pratfalls induce the cringe reflex and his sermonising is invariably trite and condescending. Yet there is value in something like The Patsy. All films are products and reflections of their time and as such have inherent worth as cultural artefacts. The Patsy fits into the long tradition of self-reflexive films,

Why do we watch films? Pure entertainment? Artistic edification? Procrastination while we should be engaged in “real work”? If you are me, it’s all of the above. And then some. A good portion of what I watch is determined by others. I seek out lists compiled from the consensus wisdom of international critics. I work my way through movie books acquired in youth, trying to locate and account for every title mentioned.

movies that mirror the circumstances of their own making. With cameos by the likes of gossip columnist Hedda Hopper and television host Ed Sullivan, it’s an example of Hollywood self-parody not without its charms. In casting alone, The Patsy is also something of a historical footnote. The performers who make up Jerry’s retinue are a who’s who of movie folklore, including John Carradine, patriarch of the Carradine acting dynasty and Keenan Wynn, a character actor supreme who featured that same year in Dr Strangelove. The Patsy was also the final film of the

Last week, by way of ticking off a selection of Jerry Lewis’ ten best films

legendary Peter Lorre, who 33 years earlier had astonished the world as

from such a volume, I watched The Patsy. Made in 1964, it’s a typical

the child murderer in Fritz Lang’s M and the penultimate one of Everett

Lewis vehicle of the period. As always Jerry plays a clumsy, tongue-tied,

Sloane, a veteran of Orson Welles’ Mercury theatre who made his screen

infantile idiot with a heart of gold. In The Patsy the conceit is that a group

debut in Citizen Kane and was even more memorable in Welles’ The Lady

of publicity veterans are trying to turn his character into a stand-up

from Shanghai. These old troopers, accustomed to working with the very

comedian and recording star.

best, still give their all for Jerry.

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FOOD FACTS James Oliver

• Bread goes stale six times faster in the fridge than at room temperature. • We’re eating too much chocolate, so much so that two of the world’s biggest chocolate producers, Mars Inc. and Barry Callebaut, have predicted that we will have a chocolate deficit of over 2 million metric tons by 2030. • There are 7,500 varieties of apples in the world. Think that’s a lot? Not really, since there’s 25,000 varieties of tomatoes (according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture). • Hormel, the producers of Spam, refer to internet spam as “unwanted emails”. • Putting a little salt on your tongue can help to prevent your gag reflex. • 20 percent of all calories consumed by the Earth’s population is from rice, whereas 19 percent is from wheat and just 5 percent is from corn. • Recent research from the Scientific Advisory Committee on Nutrition suggests that 2,000 calories is too low for most adults, suggesting 2,320 calories for women and 2,400 calories for men is a more reasonable amount. • Food raises dopamine levels by 50%, whereas sex raises dopamine levels by 100%, meaning you need not feel lonely, you just need to eat twice the amount of pizza you usually do to feel loved. We’re not scientists here at Nexus. • Humans can survive indefinitely on a diet of potatoes and butter.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

NEXUS ASKS NUTRITIONISTS

We asked two of Hamilton’s top nutritionists how we can eat healthier. Danielle Roberts

to being able to reduce the rates of disease in the world.

Danielle Roberts is the owner and sole nutritionist at Fuel

Looking at emotional and mental wellness as well as physical

Nutrition. Through her BSc in Human Nutrition and Animal

wellness are going to be key areas moving forward into

Science, as well as her own experiences, Danielle’s goal is to

the future. People need to start realising that true health,

show people how to live healthier lifestyles. To contact Danielle,

wellness and happiness is a holistic approach. Furthermore,

email danielle@fuelnutrition.co.nz or call 027 8445347.

not everyone is going to have the same imbalances and

What are your diet staples? Well I’m by choice vegetarian, as I personally find, with my own body, that my digestive system runs better without meat. Hence, I eat mostly plant based foods with a few animal based foods i.e. a variety of vegetables (approx. 10 serves a day), variety of fruits (approx. 5 serves a day), legumes – lentils and black beans, wheat free grains like buckwheat,

different foods at different times to create the right balance they need. That means one particular way of eating may not work for them, for the rest of their life moving forward. I believe that people should experiment with different ways of eating and learn to listen to their bodies to understand what foods work best for them.

quinoa and oats, nuts (mostly almonds and walnuts) and

How can students eat more healthily on the cheap?

seeds (mostly pumpkin seeds and chia seeds), herbs and

Eating healthily doesn’t have to be expensive. Shopping for

spices, natural unsweetened bio-farm yoghurt, I switch up

fruit and vegetables at green grocers is cheaper. Furthermore,

normal milk with coconut/almond milk and I also have eggs.

choosing the fruit and vegetables in season are naturally

Are there any foods you’d never eat? Seafood — never liked that, ever haha. Also anything crazy like frogs and octopus I wouldn’t eat either. I never eat takeaways like Burger King etc — not since I was a child.

cheaper. Growing your own vegetables and herbs are also a great way to save money, also. A good way to improve fibre in your diet and decreasing costs is by adding in legumes (e.g. lentils) to your dishes in place of some of the meat portion.

I also do my best to eat as much whole foods and least

If you could give just one piece of health advice, what

processed foods as possible.

would it be

What are your thoughts on the current trends of raw, vegan, and paleo diets? I find that each one seems to claim to be the sole solution to our society’s health issues. Unfortunately, diet is just a part of the solution there are deeper issues at play in regards

balances in their body. This means people are going to need

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It would be to listen to your own body and what it needs. Experiment with different foods and how they make you feel. Stop listening to the different theories about which way is the best way to eat because this is why people are starting to either fear certain foods or get so confused they don’t know what to do.

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

Stacey Hancock Stacey Hancock is a nutritionist and personal trainer. As well

• Healthy & cheap starches are potatoes, brown/black/red rice and grains if you can tolerate them.

as having experienced and overcome a binge eating disorder,

• Start bartering. There is always someone with lots of

she is qualified with a GCertScTech (Human Nutrition),

leftover things like stuff from the garden, or eggs from

FDN (Functional Diagnostic Nutritionist), and NCertFitness (Level 4 – Personal Trainer). Stacey specialises in binge eating and emotional eating. To contact Stacey, email info@ staceyhancock.co.nz or call 0064 7 838 9093. What are your diet staples? I’m a meat n veg gal so the staples are various meats and veges. I LOVE kumara, salad and beef! Are there any foods you’d never eat?

chickens, meat etc. • Tinned beans are a cheaper source of protein for students (not just baked beans). • Mince is fine and it doesn’t even really need to be lean. The fattier the meat, the more calories so it can go further. 100g of lean mince could fill one person up but 100g of higher fat could do 2 or 3 people. Plus, bulking that up with veg and tinned tomatoes is pretty cheap and simple. • Buy things (like frozen veg) on special, but don’t bulk buy.

Definitely nothing with aspartame, MSG, preservative 211 or

Brands rotate specials — one week it’ll be brand ‘A’ on

220 — these ones give me real grief. I’d rather eat a real piece

special but the following it might be brand ‘B’. There will

of cake than a fake one. What are your thoughts on the current trends of raw, vegan, and paleo diets? They create confusion, malnourishment, mood issues, and

ALWAYS be a brand on special. Same for tuna, beans etc. • Re-grow things like spring onions just by putting them in water in a sunny spot! Google for more things you can regrow.

eating disorders. We need to understand our own body, how to

If you could give just one piece of health advice, what

read it, and what it needs instead of just following some guru.

would it be?

How can students eat more healthily on the cheap? • Fats fill us more than carbs, so a tablespoon of fresh olive oil drizzled over something is going to add good fats, add a bit more fullness to your stomach without having to use lots of food. • Eat in season — it’s always cheaper.

Easy. Get a proper understanding of what stress is: biochemical,

physical,

nutritional,

emotional,

mental,

Chemical. Understanding stress and dealing with it properly is the greatest gift of health you could ever give to yourself — as this key hormone imbalance creates a lot of problems in the body.

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUSHI REVIEWS Harold the Giraffe

Our love affair with sushi needn’t have bumps in the road. Here’s my guide to just some of the many sushi establishments in the CBD. St Pierre’s, Warehouse Building, Hamilton Central

Sian Sushi, Garden Place, Hamilton Central

Price: $$

Rating: 4/5

I hate pre-boxed sushi — even more so when it’s all the same

Don’t let the slightly dingy exterior put you off, Sian Sushi is

type. I hate dried out sushi rice and I absolutely detest having

the bomb. With so many unusual varieties to choose from (a

to pay for a little extra soy sauce (seriously, one packet for

lot fried), you’ll be spoilt for choice. The only reason I haven’t

eight pieces of sushi?). In the past I’ve found St Pierre’s

given it a higher rating is the location, you’ll get a nice view

establishments ticking all these boxes — but not this one. The

of 2007 emos if you dine in, and prices — they’re a little high.

rice isn’t dry, the ingredients are super fresh, and the staff are

Sian Sushi has some of the most unique sushi in Hamilton,

incredibly friendly. After a long hard day of buying discounted

so give it a visit.

homewares at The Warehouse, visiting Hamilton Central St Pierre’s leaves a great taste, physically and mentally. It still sucks having to eat six pieces of the same sushi, but it’s not so bad when the quality is this good. I recommend never visiting the St Pierre’s site however — autoplay music, really? Umi Sushi, Centre Place, Hamilton Central Price: $$ Rating: 4.5/5

Bruce Lee Sushi, Ward St, Hamilton Central Price: $ Rating: 4.5/5 Ignore the fact that Bruce Lee is Chinese, coz this place is off the charts! Sushi starts from $1.10 and all sushi (even the fancy-ass ones) are $1 or $5 for a pack after 2pm — though there’s often not much selection after then, but hey, you get to try something new. The sushi pieces are a little bigger

A little bit more expensive than most places on this list, but

than at most places — four pieces will probably fill you up.

worth it for the convenience of their location, not to mention

The staff are accommodating and will happily make anything

how great the sushi is. The sushi’s good. That’s about it.

that’s out of stock. Bruce Lee Sushi is my go-to place for

Kobe Sushi, Outside Centre Place, Hamilton Central (AKA

sushi. If you haven’t gone already, go!

$1 Sushi Place)

BONUS REVIEW

Price: $

Bongo, Waikato Uni

Rating: 3/5

Price: $$

Yes, it’s one dollar. But the portion sizes are fit for a Japanese

Rating: 5/5

field mouse. Yes, it’s one dollar. But, in my experience, the

None of this really matters because we know you’re too

rice is often soggy. Yes, it’s one dollar, but this does not

lazy to go into town, and Bongo makes fabulous sushi.

mean that this sushi is value for money; it’s just smaller and

Nevermind it’s a bit expensive.

perhaps even poorer quality.

FIVE STARS.

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

HEALTHY WINTER WARMERS ON THE CHEAP Zac Lyon

Let’s face it, food is a necessity. Without it you would shrivel up and wither away, likely to be picked up in a gust of wind and blown to the land of Oz. However, according to the latest health survey, one in three New Zealand adults are overweight — that’s 33% for those that are not doing a science or maths based degree. Now it ain’t my place to jump in the deep end and blame

5. Last one. The key to anyone’s heart is through food.

just poor eating and food choices for this statistic, after

ANYONE’S. If you want a cuddle buddy for the winter

all, there are a number of things that contribute to this

and a sunscreen applicator for the summer, you must

statistic. However, it is my place to try and educate some

learn to cook. And cook well. Trust me.

of you folk on some alternative choices for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So before we launch into a few quick recipe ideas, there are a few things I have noticed in my six years at uni that are somewhat food related:

Right, enough jibber-jabber from me, let’s talk some recipes, and I’ll try to throw in some money saving tips along the way. Omelettes Perfect for those shredding at the gym and needing to up their egg count for the day. They make fantastic breakfasts,

1. Peeps don’t know how to cook! I’ve heard some shocking

lunches, and dinners. They are great to save on money, and

stories of what flatmates, fresh out of the halls, call cooking.

you can eat a couple to make a full meal or add some salad

2. Diets suck. They are no fun, and often don’t work. They do however teach you valuable information about food:

to the side. Can also be vegetarian — depending on if eggs are a no-go or not.

what not to eat a shit-tonne of, what foods make your

• 2 eggs (beaten),

skin glow, or how chocolate is an aphrodisiac — last one

• Salt and pepper,

is an important one to note down.

• Cheese and fillings.

3. Moderation. As per the point above, you just have to

Pour beaten eggs into a hot pan, spreading the egg evenly

think. “Maybe I shouldn’t eat five pies, maybe I should

across the pan. Wait until egg starts to firm slightly (still

limit myself to four,” or, “I have had salads every night

some raw egg on top) and add in toppings. This can literally

this week, perhaps I should sink my teeth into some meat

be anything — tomato and basil with some cheese, spring

(actual meat, not the euphemism).”

onions and mushroom, feta and spinach, ham and capsicum?

4. You shouldn’t have to sell your body to pay for food.

That’s why they are so easy and quick.

While not many students are buying eye fillet or free-

PRO TIP: Simply clean out your fridge, any left overs

range, organic, corn-fed, happy chickens; buying smartly

(providing they haven’t grown fur) go straight into the

drastically decreases the cost of food per week.

omelette. Nom nom.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

Jacket Potatoes

PRO TIP: Any good sauce needs a base. Adding tinned tomatoes

These bad boys are soooooo good. The great thing about them,

in alone will create a somewhat watery taste, add in tomato

is that nothing really ever gets wasted. Again, like the others

paste to alleviate this, and season well. The more you reduce a

above, there are a tonne of variations that you can choose from

sauce, the richer and greater the flavour.

in terms of flavours, hell you can even jacket a kumara, but these are inexpensive variations. These make excellent lunches, and a couple of these served with some coleslaw or salad makes a hearty meal.

If you want cheap, then you may as well adopt a liquid diet, and no I’m not talking about pickling your liver with Double Brown and vodka. Again, I don’t want to post a specific soup recipe,

• POTATOES! Get the largest ones you can find, normally 2 potatoes per person — unless you’re a lightweight, • Some form of protein – salmon, bacon, mince (you don’t need much, so this will keep the costs down), • A dollop of sour cream, cottage cheese or normal cheese. • Fresh herbs; mint, parsley, coriander, • Lemon zest or juice for any fish based filling, • Get creative with the flavours, pinches of cayenne pepper or paprika go a long way.

because really they are all the same, you need a good base to your soup, then add in the flavours and vegetables you like. Soups are an ideal way to kill two birds with one stone, if you are particularly skint during a week, soups can last for days and double as perfect lunches. • 1 onion and garlic (frying these off will add a nice depth of flavour to any soup), • Tinned tomatoes (tomato soup), potato and leeks (potato and leek soup), split peas or frozen peas (pea and ham soup),

Lightly oil and season a whole potato, and prick the sucker with

mushrooms (mushroom soup), pumpkin (pumpkin soup),

a fork to stop it self-destructing. Bake at 200C for about 10

• Vegetable stock, or for the fancy kids, a little bit of white

mins, then at 170C for about an hour, or until crisp outside and

wine also goes down a treat,

soft inside. Remove from oven and cut a cross into the top of

• Spices and herbs (basil = tomato, chives = potato and leek

them, carefully open them slightly. They will be hot. Ever wonder

soup, parsley = pea and ham soup, thyme = mushroom

where “hot potato, hot potato” came from? Not the Wiggles! Add in your choice of fillings and serve.

soup, nutmeg and sage = pumpkin soup, • And some chunky style bread is always a winner.

PRO TIP: Jackets are meant to be worn this time of the year,

Always make a base for your soup, begin by frying off onions

keep yours on your potatoes. Be gentle when handling your

and garlic, herbs, and salt and pepper. Then you can add in

potatoes, like caressing beautiful round brea… bread rolls.

anything you wish, tinned tomatoes, shrooms, or peas. Make sure you cook these with the onions and garlic to add a nice

Pasta Bake No student cookbook is complete without the humble pasta bake. These can be as basic or extravagant as you wish. Again a perfect dinner to throw all the leftovers into. The pasta bake is a

depth of flavour. Add in stock, and wine if you’re an alcoholic. Simmer for plenty of time, to smell out your house. Blitz in a blender until smooth, or chunky if you like it thick.

base leading into the realms of a fine-ish dinner. Ok, maybe that

For all the above recipes, to cut down on costs where you can,

is a small lie, but they are incredibly inexpensive. A bag of pasta

simply borrow certain ingredients from your neighbourhood.

($2), tinned tomatoes ($1 ea), tomato paste ($2), and cheese

Lemons, herbs, oranges: you name it, liberate them from the

(~$2 worth). Easy and cheap. You will need...

confines of their host trees and plants. You will be a true hero.

• Packet of pasta, go with spirals or the penne version,

Hopefully these recipes can add some creativity into your

• 2-3 tins of tinned tomatoes (depending on the size of tribe

cooking repertoire, and dazzle your flatmates (or your potential

you are feeding),

suitor). If you guys are bloody stuck or have any food related

• 1 onion and 2 cloves of garlic,

questions throw them at me on the Cooking4Students Facebook

• Tomato paste (I’ll explain later)

page, or even via lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz. If you’re unsure on

• Salt and Pepper,

how to cook that roast chicken, or wish to add some variation

• Cheese,

and excitement to your 7 day a week oatmeal meals, hit me up.

• Filling additions – pumpkin, herbs, biersticks, tuna, eggplant

I’ll try to point you in the right direction, with both quick and

Cook pasta as per instructions on packet, strain. Fry onions and garlic with salt and pepper, add in tinned tomatoes. Add

Soups

cheap ideas and give you some potential lifesaving advice before you burn your house down trying to amaze with mousetraps.

in tomato paste. Then add in any fillings you want and cook in

And don’t be a munter, Google has saved me more times than I

tomato sauce. Mix pasta in with sauce and add to a large baking

care to admit. Chances are someone out there has had a similar

dish. Cover with cheese and bake (180C until golden).

question or suspicious itch. If in doubt, Google it out!

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

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Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo), wins a voucher from our mates at Burgerfuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space

Sunday Roasts: Hamilton East This is the home of Briar, Anna, Frog Man, and Hot Cameron Block Four. When we first arrive we are greeted by the scent of roasted kumara: a great way to start off. A heart on the wall indicates the atmosphere. This is a loving flat. The kitchen is clean. A chalkboard on the wall shows that the flat cooks together. It appears that they enjoy Sunday roasts, as well as the odd beer on a Friday. We ignore that the flat is eating clitoris for one of the dinners. Cameron isn’t home and his room is bare. No sheets, no knick knacks… even his wardrobe has been stripped bare. Convinced Cameron is a nudist, we are later informed that he has taken all his laundry up to Auckland for his mother to clean whilst he parties at What So Not. Anna and Briar’s rooms are tidy and girly, a stark contrast to Frog Man’s gaming dungeon. After half an hour of Re-O Week discussion, we leave the flat feeling reinvigorated with a yearning for kumara chips in our bellies.

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

Photography: Saralena White

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

AUNTY SLUT

“GIVE CUNNILINGUS”

Faking It

It’s almost like we live in a society where female pleasure is

Aunty Slut

Society loves it when guys get off. We see it on movies and TV

dismissed as unimportant or something.

all the time. Some dude having a wank is like the go-to joke for most screen media. But how many times have you seen a woman experience pleasure in that same medium? How many Dear Aunty Slut,

times have you seen a woman masturbate? Except for porn,

This chick I’m seeing is really noisy while we’re having sex. It’s

((which generally places the man’s pleasure at the centre of the

weird. No one else I’ve had sex with has carried on like this, so I

narrative, even if women are getting off.) (Also, most of the crap

want to know — how do you tell if a girl is faking it?

you see on porn isn’t going to get a woman off properly.) (Also,

T-Rex

stop watching porn for inspiration and go and ASK a REAL LIVE

Dear T-Rex, If you’re sexually active and you have even the tiniest suspicion that your partner is faking it, they’re probably faking it. Why? Because if you’ve done your job right, you will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that your lady is loving it. If you’re having sex and you’re not 100% sure that your partner is getting off, then

woman what she likes instead.)) you’re not likely to see a woman actually experiencing pleasure. And there’s a reason we don’t see chicks having unabashed sex very often. Because society can’t handle the truth. And the truth is that, when it’s done right, women actually LOVE sex. Anyway, how to tell if someone is faking:

you’re doing it wrong. You shouldn’t be stampeding towards your

1. You didn’t bother with foreplay

own nirvana unless your lady got there first. And before you go

2. You didn’t bother with cunnilingus

all, “why should she get to come first! That’s sexist!” on me, please

3. You climbed on and jackhammered away for 2 minutes

remember that women are capable of multiple orgasms before we

4. Her vagina doesn’t clench and throb as she orgasms

roll over and go to sleep, while most men can’t.

5. You’re a selfish person.

How many times does this Slut have to tell you to GIVE

Noisy sex is not weird. It’s uninhibited. It’s celebrative. Everyone

CUNNILINGUS before you actually give cunnilingus? It’s not rocket

knows that screaming on a rollercoaster makes it feel more

science; it’s pussy eating. We’ve covered why it’s important. We’ve

awesome, and sex is no different. The weird bit is that people think

talked about female anatomy, and how cunnilingus is the most

noisy sex is weird. Embrace the noise! Embrace the cunnilingus! And

effective way for a woman to achieve orgasm. We’ve covered

fucking pay attention while you’re fucking!

why it’s better than jackhammering away in pursuit of your own pleasure. Seriously. Why are we still having this conversation?

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

Love Aunty Slut

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

CARNAGE

“WHO NEEDS ANCIENT STORIES WHEN FUCKED UP SHIT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!”

Food for Thought Jules Craft

Those Greek dudes on Mt Olympus — I’m not going to lie, those lads and lasses were some real OGs. Fathers trying to kill sons to stop prophecies, brothers fighting for the throne, and of course, Zeus getting to bang all the hot chicks on Earth even though he was in wedlock. Do you know what’s cooler though? The Kardashians. By my last count, there has been five broken marriages, a drug addict who only gets on the show when he relapses, a repressed

Religion trips me the fuck out. This world contains a billion different gods and a gazillion different paths to find and follow them. I like to keep myself in the middle, neither believing nor disbelieving claims of a higher power — though it really is a tough way to stumble through life. Being the philosophical swami that

transexual, and that one brother who is all fat and depressed now, what was his name again? I suppose it doesn’t matter he didn’t even show up to Kim’s wedding! Oh shit did I mention the 15-inch dick that kick started their whole careers? Who needs ancient stories when fucked up shit is happening right now!

I am, I have been in desperate need of guidance from a higher

Some people wish to descend into heaven and meet God — me,

power. I have come to the conclusion that the only true path to

well I just really wanna meet Snoop. Moses got to talk to the big

follow is the path we call Celebrity.

G-O-D through a burning bush, I’d just like to burn a bush with

You might wonder what the fuck I’m talking about and laugh at my new found faith, but please stop and think how many others follow Celebrity religiously. Even if you don’t respect my new found beliefs, that’s ok, because “hater gonna hate, Imma do my

the great D-O-G himself. If I had the chance to talk to Snoopy just once, I know my life would improve drastically. He had dreams of being a successful rap star, actor, and entrepreneur. I have dreams of taking a photo with him.

thang, and I ain’t nervous cause I’m the greatest basketball player

Religion’s cool and all that, but Celebrity simply has better

in the world.”

marketing. The gap between me and God is a cavern in comparison

The Church of Celebrity is much trendier than that Old Testament stuff. Why would I keep a bible on my bedside table when I have a direct twitter feed to the words spoken by Yeezus himself? Other cats have to set up shrines, light candles, and go to mass each Sunday not me though! A quick link on Facebook to a song,

to how close I felt to Alana Blanchard when she replied to my comment with a smiley face (definitely wants the D). Religion takes time to connect, but Beyonce wouldn’t have been able to do anything without me (and a few million other fans). When I read their posts I know I’m not just a follower, I’m a part of the brand!

buying the same clothes, and setting my desktop picture as a

In short; I don’t need to believe in something I can’t see I’m

Kanye quote and my worship is complete.

completely paralyzed by other people’s reality here on Earth.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

NEW LOCALS

“IN “LOSING MALAYSIA, YOUR WE PASSPORT SAY ‘HI’IS AND ADD A SMILE, A TO WHOLE ME THAT NEW IS FAR BALLGAME… MORE HONEST THAN THE YOU DISINGENUOUS JUST CAN’T DO ‘HOW’RE IT. ” YOUS’.”

Shocking Hamiltonian Culture

said, empty greetings. In Malaysia, we say ‘Hi’ and add a smile, to

Ashvini Victor

keeps their businesses running. Fact is, the student population

me that is far more honest than the disingenuous ‘How’re yous’. After getting used to it, it usually comes naturally to most foreign students (not me), some even force themselves to say it just so they would fit in. The many takeaway stores around Hamilton itself, indicates what in Hamilton is attracted to takeaway fast food, also indicated by the promotion of sausages and dilute cup soup on campus. There are international students who find that there is meat or

You know how culture shock could take on the iceberg analogy?

“so-called” meat (i.e sausages) in almost all the meals. Food is

You would not encounter the entire culture shock aura through

quite important for many Malaysians, as what Nicole Sebestian

media alone (tip of the iceberg) without immersing in the culture

wrote about last week. We talk about what to have for the next

itself (below the water level), thus being in the country or region

meal while having one meal. Conversely, outside campus and

itself. An example of what I found to be below the tip of the iceberg

student life, I didn’t expect New Zealand to have a good selection

here in New Zealand had to do with the overwhelming number of

of organic and “healthy” food such as the wide variety of Ceres

“mature” students in my bachelor’s degree. It is a great indication

products — even Bin Inn is a cool place.

of the importance of a degree to find many mature students are in it. It’s not so common in Malaysia where I come from.

N.14 / V.47

Lastly, bus drivers here can pity and certain people who may have not enough money for the bus fare, people who mumble some

The basic phrases of speaking in New Zealand are the “Hey, how’re

incoherent English and those who are standing alone at the bus

you/how’s it going?” and the replies of “Good/Cheers”. I’ve found

stop when it’s dark. When they do take pity on these people, they

many international students to pick this up quite quickly if they

let them ride for free! That would never happen in a small town like

run into many locals. To me it is somewhat dishonest and like I

Hamilton in Malaysia.

FOOD

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

ON THE FRINGE

“REFRAINING FROM FAPPING HAS NEVER BEEN COOLER...”

No Fab: Get a New Grip on Life Anon

The real flaw here is that nobody seems able to resist their own meat, with relapse inevitable for all who try abstain. Perhaps the love for one’s own appendage is truly innate and to resist is to deny people their right to make sweet handy love. Despite this, commitment to the cause has not waned. Reddit user, the-guywho-waited, is renowned for his deletion of 100GB of porn and declaration of new found cleanliness. To the admiration of many, he was comforted on taking this first step in the comments section. One user, Fapinio, wrote “I know the mental hurdles it

Free yourself. “Give up the fap!” says Reddit’s NoFap_Hotline on

takes to delete a prized porn collection one works so hard at.”

reddit.com/r/nofap. When feeling the “deadly urge”, don’t turn to

Why Fapinio continues to involve himself with fapping on online

your sweaty palms, reach out to the internet’s nofap-tisivists —

forums remains unknown.

they are here to cool you down baby.

No Fap is changing lives. One user, Nofap_TH1356, recently made

Refraining from fapping has never been cooler, with such places

a post entitled ‘Don’t just not touch your dick.” The post read,

as nofap.com, r/nofap, and Twitter’s @nofap (and any other social

“Yesterday I was at the hotel’s pool, and I saw a girl (kinda cute,

media you can think of), becoming a haven for chronic masturbators.

but not my type and a bit young looking) look over at me and say

Together the No Fap community seek the strength to refrain from

to her other friend “there’s a hot guy over there” or something.

playing with their Jimmy Wrigglers. Much like Alcoholics Anonymous,

Felt awesome to see my working out finally pay off, and I wouldn’t

users are claiming their fap sobriety enhances concentration,

be working out if I were still fapping all the time.”

improves masculinity, and is a huge time saver for those who were once consumed by their self-touch at least five times a day.

The battle with fapping is one not easily fought, but there is always hope available via No Fap communities. If you or

According to the nofap community, brain fogginess and lethargic

anyone you care for is struggling with this issue, please consult

feelings may be attributed solely to masturbation. Reasoning

Reddit — free therapy from possibly trustworthy strangers. As

being based on personal experience and any hypotheses that

AmazingNoFapMan might say, “Stop whacking it all day and go

support the cause.

talk to people instead, even though it stings a lot.”

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

A FASHIONABLE LIFESTYLE

I Got It Online Jess Wilson

Shipping is $10 or free over $200 (USD) — not that it matters, you can’t take your money with you in the event of your inevitably painful death. sourpussclothing.com $$$ Catering to “the punk, rockabilly, retro, horror, and kitsch lifestyles!” Featuring such brands as T.U.K, Hell Bunny, Kreepsville 666, Lucky

Long gone are the days of risking scabies at your local opshop;

13, and of course, Sourpuss, there’s something for every retro-

online shopping is now the coolest way to stand out.

loving lad or lady. Shipping is around $30 but totally worth it.

inu-inu.co $

dollskill.com $

For people who eat Pocky and want to live in Japan without

“For the misfits & the Miss Legits, not for the easily offended. Let’s

knowing Japanese. This kawaii clothing store has adorable

Party.” You best not be easily offended — in the past they have

illustrated milk box and sushi prints, as well as shoes with lights!

abused Facebook commenters who didn’t like their products or

Shipping is around $10 or free over $200 (USD).

horrendously underweight models. Dolls Kill stocks everything

shopmiracleeye.com $$$ A store for “today’s 60’s lovesick babes addicted to the nomadic

N.14 / V.47

or free over $100 (USD).

lifestyle.” Handmade clothing pairs well with a selection of unique

gfdstore.com $$

vintage finds. Shipping starts from $18 (USD).

If you like Clueless and lip balm, you’ll love Glitters For Dinner.

shopjeen.com $$

from pastel goth clothing to actual goth clothing. Shipping is $10

Shipping is free.

The perfect store for people with a very mild sense of humour

shoptunnelvision.com $$

and a love of drug paraphernalia. Here I bought my Monster shirt

Tunnel Vision is edgy without trying too hard or being tacky. Their

that says “water”! Described as “the internet”, Shop Jeen creates

Hottie With a Body section has clothing that complements rather

clothing to be “retweeted, reblogged and shared by the “Buzzfeed

than covers larger gals. I’m currently craving a pair of their Bad

Generation.” In other news, Shop Jeen is contributing to the

Vibes lace up shorts, handmade in L.A — they’re what punk rock

devolution of humankind and the demise of intellectual thought.

dreams are made of. Shipping is about $15 (USD).

FOOD

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

THE SINGLE LIFE

“HERE’S A QUESTIONNAIRE TO HELP YOU DECIDE WHEN TO HANG UP YOUR (PROBABLY WELL USED) WHORE KNICKERS AND START ACTING LIKE SOMEBODY WITH MORALS (BORING).”

Blurred

well used) whore knickers and start acting like somebody with

Emma Nygard

morals (boring). Does he/she confess to wanting to share a milkshake while staring lovingly at you? Do they long hold hands with you in public? Are they probably thinking about you when they masturbate? Do they dream of frolicking romantically through the Uni fields into your arms? Or something else equally as gross? YES / NO

If you’re an avid MTV watcher, or have sporadically watched episodes of Awkward, you are probably familiar with the term DTR; an anagram used by Glassons-wearing white girls all around the country that translates directly to “define the relationship”. It’s a clinical term for that dreaded ‘what are we?’ conversation. A conversation I personally have never had to partake in because, naturally, I consider a two text conversation a pretty solid foundation for a relationship and any drunk texts reading “wuu2” a severely romantic gesture. You’ve been warned. But alas, other less-enlightened folk need “the talk” to determine when it is an appropriate time to stop acting like a hoe. The

Do you confess to wanting to share a milkshake while staring lovingly at them? Do you long hold hands with them in public? Are you probably thinking about them when you masturbate? Do you dream of frolicking romantically through the Uni fields into their arms? Or something else equally as gross? YES/NO

If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to most of these questions please proceed to rip up this column, you’re officially kicked out of the single girl club until you are bitter and lonely once more.

rule is pretty simple really, don’t fuck around with people’s

If you’ve answered mostly ‘no’, feel free to write a letter of

feelings unless you are actually into them — because that’s just

complaint to the editor for a wasted five minutes reading this

contributing to the already immeasurable amount of heartbreak in

shitty last minute, it’s 1am-and-I’m-tired column.

the world, and only fuels Sam Smith’s world-dominating objective to make us all depressed.

If you’re sitting on the fence with a 50/50 score, congratulations on having no idea where you stand! These blurred lines will remain

So basically, to save you the awkwardness of asking, here’s a

blurred until you make the leap to DTR or until you sleep with

questionnaire to help you decide when to hang up your (probably

someone else and break their poor little heart.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Cooking for Students

Fish Curry Zac Lyon

2 cloves of garlic 2 tsp of freshly grated ginger Zest of 2 limes 2 carrot 1 can of coconut cream (might need two) 4 tsp fish sauce 2 tsp brown sugar

Since it is ball-shriveling cold, these winter recipes will be designed to warm

600 g of hoki fillets (cut into 3cm chunks)

you up. Not just your mouth, you can burn that off by eating a ghost pepper,

Juice of one lemon

but warm on the inside too. How lovey-dovey. To do this, you need two things.

Coriander leaves.

First, spice (aka chilli and pepper). Secondly, a food that makes you feeling warm and fuzzy. The same feeling you get when you see a cute animal video. By the way, Google ‘baby elephant trying to take a bath’ — I’m sure we have all been like this at one stage in our lives, for those boozers; maybe more than once. Bring these two things together and we get curry. Now most of us have had butter chicken, or a garam masala once or twice, but

1. Put the water on a high heat and wait for it to boil, throw in a pinch of salt and add rice. Cook per instructions on packet. 2. In a large pan fry onions, garlic, ginger, carrot, and lime zest for 1 min, add in curry paste and stir to combine.

what about fish? Until a few years ago, I had stayed away from fish curries. I

3. Pour in coconut cream (if there is heaps of peeps you wanna feed, throw in

dunno why, maybe because fish doesn’t seem like the thing to go in a curry,

half of another can as well), fish sauce, brown sugar. Let it simmer for 5 mins.

but I had been missing out big time. This will clear the sinuses, warm the mouth and belly, and leave you feeling like ‘hot shit’. Literally. Ingredients

4. Add in lemon juice and fish chunks and stir gently until covered in curry mixture. 5. Let the fish cook for about 5 mins, you do not want it to break apart.

2 cups of rice

6. Add in a handful of torn coriander leaves, season to taste.

3 cups of water Salt

7. Serve rice and spoon over fish and curry sauce.

1 onion finely diced

Method

1 – 1 ½ tablespoons of red (hotter) or green curry paste

Let your nasal passages run free! If your face and mouth is numb, too much

1 chilli deseeded (optional for those that want a numb face)

chilli, if it isn’t numb, not enough.

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

Brought to you by The Bank and 97.8 The Edge. Each week Nexus attempts to make a love/sexual connection. if you’re keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

His favourite movie is Kill Bill, hers is anything Marvel. She know’s all the words to Thug Story by T-Pain and Taylor Swift, he knows all the words to Niggas in Paris. Did I mention they’re white? He wants a lady who’s easy on the eyes, a bit of fun, and a good laugh — good because she wants the same (and a six pack preferably). They’re both down for sex on the first date, but are these gangsta-rappers down for love?

It was on my way to The Bank that I realised that this

Blind dates are a scary thing; first impressions are

was probably one of the stupidest things I could do. Like

everything. First impression of my date was not a strong

meeting someone from Tinder is stupid, but then at least

one. She wasn’t tall but still dwarfed me by deciding on

you know what their name is, what they look like, and

high heels — she coupled these with leather pants. Now,

how old they are. In this you know nothing, but I couldn’t

I have nothing against leather pants, but she didn’t quite

help but have expectations (read: Prince Charming). It

fill them out like I would have liked and they hung off

turns out that Prince Charming arrived 10 minutes late,

her like loose skin. Despite this, I still thought she wasn’t

dressed in a floral shirt and lei, ready for Re-O Week

half bad looking.

The Lady’s Experience

antics… But I’m not gonna hold that against him; he’s a first year, and that’s what they do (I’m a first year too, just a nana-ish one). So all the usual stuff: conversation flowed freely, as did the drinks, the food was awesome (Thai beef salad: 10/10, would recommend).

The Gentleman’s Experience

The drinks started flowing and the banter was pretty alright, chatted about heaps of shit. Traveling, sports, uni. Typical small talk. I kept the convo going and there was never really a lapse in conversation, but from the word go I had a sinking feeling that the date wasn’t

Towards the end of the night I let him finish off the bar

going anywhere. After three hours of small talk my fears

tab with a few LIIT’ to start him off for town as I had no

were confirmed as we parted ways with a goodbye and

plans to continue on, after a brief conversation about

not even a second glance. No numbers were exchanged.

what he likes to drink; Me: “What do you usually drink?”

Afterwards I went to town, danced hard, grinded on

Him: “Alcohol, usually.” We sat and chatted till The Bank

anything with a pulse and then went home and cry-

closed, went our separate ways; him to town, and me to

wanked myself to sleep. I used three pumps of daily

my laptop to sit here writing this, with the top button

revitalising moisturiser and four Kleenex.

of my pants undone, because I probably ate too much.

NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

WAIK ATO STUDENTS’ UNION

REPRESENTATION

Thank You! Re-O is Re-Over and we couldn’t have done it without massive help from so many people we just want to put their names in the magazine so some proud parent can stick it to the fridge: Our Volunteers Who set up, packed down and ran everything during the day and were paid solely in S’mores... Gabby Holmes, Briar Fabian, Brianna Morgan, Troy Anderson, Jordan Smith, James

ADVOCACY

Robson, Blake Collins, Joseph “Frog” Edwards, Emma Weston, Dylan Loughman,

First Impressions

Tristan Houghton, Nick Collis, Dave Maate, Zack Pentecost, Huy Vu

Priscilla Davis -Ngatai & Sarah Hyde

Who cleaned up your vomit and listened to “College Hall on the Piss” too many

Our Volunteer Drivers and BBQ Staff times...

When was the last time you updated your CV? Does it still say that your

Daniel Collins, Daniel Farrell, Blair Munro, Shelby Wilson, Jason Howarth, Mike

talents include “rad air-guitar” and “reading Harry Potter really fast”?

Hart, Alan West, Hunter Martoncik,The Papua New Guinea club, Waikato Uni-Tech

Because while we don’t doubt the legitimacy of these claims, unfortunately

Tongan Students’ Association

your future employers might. Without a good CV, cover letter, and good interview skills, you’re never going to get your foot in the door for a job.

Our Directors and Staff

Whether you’re looking for full time employment once you graduate, or a

Who did some of the above and a lot of other stuff you may not have seen...

part time job while you study, we can help you. Here are some tips to help you with the initial job hunting steps, and keep your wallets full to spend up at 10 like every week is O week.

Jayasundara, Zanian Steele, Melissa Hughes, Pape Barrett, Charlotte Sanson, Jade McCloud, Pene Delaney, Cody Glazer, Tayla-Dee Kelly, Dave West, Bobby Joseph, Sarah Hyde, Priscilla Davis-Ngatai, Alix Higby and Olivia Paris.

CV - This is a summary of your professional history, qualifications and experiences, so unless you’re really good, keep your Dota rank out of it. - Group information correctly, and use appropriate headings and subheadings. - Keep it clear and concise so that employers can skim read it – use bullet points instead of lengthy paragraphs. Cover Letter - This is a targeted ONE page formal letter, that highlights why you would be the best for the job. - Make sure you highlight how you meet any criteria, and address it to a specific person and organisation – Don’t make it too generic. - Keep it tidy, and use the same font style as your CV, and double check your spelling, grammar and punctuation. Think you’re doing these right, but still missing out on the jobs? Here at the WSU we’re opening two new clinics, one with Student Job Search, and one with Career Development services. You can make an appointment on our website, and come in to meet with the experts. These guys will check over your CVs and cover letters, prep you for interviews, and help you in the job hunt. And after the way you hit town for Re-O last week, I know you need it.

Ria Holmes,Shannon Stewart, Kate Lunn,Taha Tangitu-Huata, Sophie Miller, Indula

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

And Our Sponsors Who paid for most of it and gave us free fries and stuff

CARE NEXUS MAGAZINE

EXPERIENCE

Overheard in the Van “Get in the van. You said Short emergency detour down old farm

“I can down 120

you weren’t going to sleep

chicken nuggets”

with anyone tonight.”

“But was it an unexpected journey? Gandalf clearly stated that they were going on an adventure.”

road. “Who’s got money for a tinnie?”

“You’re all sluts. Sluts. You’re all sluts. Don’t worry, cos when I’m sober “The guy who I lost my

I’d call you a slut too.”

virginity to told me that he likes me again. But he doesn’t.”

“My boyfriend’s got chafing marks on his dick.”

CLUBS

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

N.14 / V.47

FOOD

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

SUDOKU

2 9

6 8

1 6

9 4

5 3

1 3

5 2

1 5

EASY

4 1

6 8

9 2

4 6

MEDIUM

HARD

CODEWORDS

SLITHERLINK

Each letter in the puzzle is represented by a number 1 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 26. Crack the code to solve it.

Join the dots to create a single continuous

16 18

3 6

1 4

9 15

1 22

6 6

TRIVIAL

Mariachi music is most closely associated

loop. The numbers indicate how many lines

3 1

3 25

9 1

must surround each number and the loop must never cross itself.

W E

N.14 / V.47

How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horizontally, vertically or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

FOOD

2 3

3 3

1 3

with which country? The Last Battle is the final episode in which series of books? What is the total number of dots in a standard dice?

WORD TWIST

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

CROSSWORD

KAKURO

Solve the clues and fill in the words.

Fill all of the blank squares in the grid using only the

numbers 1 – 9 so the numbers entered add up to the corresponding clue. You cannot use the same number

24 26

42 47

40 44

22 16

19 21

23 3 24

41 4

41 45

51 53

24 24

26 30

29 34

more than once in a run (eg. 7, 1, 1).

SIMPLE PUZZLES FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE This week we decided to stick to the theme with this pizza spot the difference. There are eight differences to be found.

Across

49. Bank employee (6)

13. Type of pasta (4)

1. US Pacific territory (4)

51. Actress Sorvino (4)

21. Kind of lily (4)

5. Packing heat (5)

52. Baptism, for one (4)

23. Fixes, in a way (4)

10. ___-European (4)

53. Microwaved (6)

25. Travel papers (5)

14. Language of Pakistan (4)

56. Type of pasta (8)

26. “Call Me ___” (5)

15. Barnyard honker (5)

60. Capri, e.g. (4)

27. Fragrance (5)

16. Film ___ (4)

61. “Fear of Flying” author

28. Photo finish? (5)

17. Book part (4)

Jong (5)

29. Hawaiian veranda (5)

18. Rinse, as with a solvent (5)

63. Archaeological site (4)

30. Archetype (5)

19. ___ Louise (4)

64. Drop from the eye (4)

31. “Eraserhead” star Jack (5)

20. Type of pasta (8)

65. Masonry facing (5)

32. “Come in!” (5)

22. Fast (6)

66. Doctrines (4)

35. Infant car seat (5)

24. Colored eye part (4)

67. Woosnam and Fleming (4)

38. Skedaddles (8)

25. Mine find (4)

68. About 1.3 cubic yards (5)

40. Take to court (8)

26. “___, P.I.” (6)

69. Exterminator’s target (4)

43. Cleveland’s lake (4)

29. Type of pasta (8)

45. “La Scala di ___”

33. “___ we having fun

Down

(Rossini opera) (4)

yet?” (3)

1. Split (4)

48. Commands (6)

34. King with a golden

2. Carbamide (4)

50. Cut loose (6)

touch (5)

3. Jewish month (4)

52. Kitchen gadget (5)

36. Alternative to a

4. Breakfast fare (6)

53. Type of pasta (4)

convertible (5)

5. Bar restriction (8)

54. On the briny (4)

37. Puts on (4)

6. Dinner fare (5)

55. Agenda (4)

39. Melodic (5)

7. Grimace (4)

56. Bank of Paris (4)

41. Dispatched (4)

8. “C’___ la vie!” (3)

57. Yorkshire river (4)

42. Vestment (5)

9. Dig further (6)

58. Film, “___ Island” (4)

44. Desert sight (5)

10. Aspiring actresses (8)

59. M.I.T. part: Abbr. (4)

46. Crackerjack (3)

11. Denials (4)

62. Emeritus: Abbr. (3)

47. Type of pasta (8)

12. Losing proposition? (4)

3 PIZZAS

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DRINK DEALS

WEDNESDAYS FREE

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PLATTER FOR EVERY TEAM MIN OF 3 PER TEAM

STUDENT DINNER DEALS

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