Nexus 2019 Issue 16

NEXUS NEEDS A SIDE HUSTLE

ISSUE 16 VOL 52

29.7.19

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CONTENTS Grace Mitchell Nexus Editor

editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Kim Sare Deputy Editor

kim@nexusmag.co.nz

Ashlea Curran Designer

design@nexusmag.co.nz

James Raffan Managing Editor

james@nexusmag.co.nz

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Contributors Ella Morgan News Editor ella@nexusmag.co.nz

Kyla Campbell-Kamariera

Marnie Hunter Lifestyle Editor marnie@nexusmag.co.nz

Josh Umbers

Sophie Miller Entertainment Editor sophie@nexusmag.co.nz Nelson Cooper Sports Editor nelson@nexusmag.co.nz Jared Ipsen jared@nexusmag.co.nz Luka Love luka@nexusmag.co.nz

Chelsea Grove

Kaleb Adams Mia Milne Silvan Pislor Jordan Davies Tessa Preddy Harry Malcolm Kahn Stevenson

30 Advertising Kendrah Worsley + Tara Overwater comms@wsu.org.nz

It takes guts to start a side hustle at any stage of your life, let alone while you’re trying to earn that sweet piece of paper at the same time. That’s why, in issue 16, we’re celebrating student entrepreneurship. I may not run a business, but I feel like being the Nexus editor whilst finishing a degree gives me insight into hard mahi; so, here’s an overview of what being something-kind-of-like-a-business-owner-but-not-really-at-all has taught me:

Grace Mitchell Nexus Editor editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Expect strange hours Writing is a 9-5 job, said nobody ever. On any given occasion, you can have arrived ready to go, scheduled work time in a cute little colour-coordinated timetable, and caffeinated yourself in preparation to Get Shit Done. At such moments, when productivity appears to be a given, your brain may completely shit itself, go utterly blank and become unable to perform any task other than continuously refreshing your email inbox for half an hour while staring blankly into space. Then you’ll find that, despite all those podcasts you’ve listened to and the promises made to your poor, tormented body that you’ll start going to bed at a reasonable time, inspiration for a piece doesn’t spark until around 12:13 am, which is an utterly crap time to clock in to work mode. (Why I Don’t Get Enough Sleep, a memoir.)

It’s a love/hate thing You could achieve your dream job tomorrow, earn millions each year, form the perfect nuclear family, and you’d probably still find something to moan about. Jobs aren’t perfect. You may go through phases where you feverishly, almost obsessively work on your passion project; ideas flow like Waikato on tap at the Hilly, and you reach a manic-like adoration for your craft. The very next week, the mere thought of having to check any of your 60 emails and 15 messages is damn near depressing brings forth greater feelings of nausea than memories of that cheap wine you funnelled on Thursday night catch-ups. So, yes, you’ll go through ups and downs. Ride the wave.

Things won’t go to plan Let’s say you have a perfect idea of how your day/week/month plan is going to work out. You’ve set your targets, written your to-do lists, and everything looks in order. Rest assured, something will come to fuck it up. For example, let’s say 4 pages of content will spontaneously fall through, you won’t be able to think of a title for the fucking life of you, or maybe you’ll be racing to write 8 pages on the night before print. There’s always something to stress about, folks, whether it be related to work, study or your personal life - so accept that work will always come with a degree of fuck-thisness, and chill. You’ll just wrinkle your young, supple skin even sooner, and lord knows we can’t afford to maintain Botox injections yet.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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I cant believe love islands over!

29 JULY

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Seed Waikato’s AGM 6-7pm / Free / Trust Waikato

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Ben Hurley @ The Don 7:30-9:30pm / $8 from the WSU

wanna go to the dons?

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Plastic Free July Potluck Party 6-7:30pm / Free / Go Eco

1 AUG

Four Kings 7:30-8:30pm / $10-$15 / The Meteor

COME TO OUTBACK

did you know we have a test this week?

2 AUG

Maaori Arts and Crafts girl you are Kono/Basket Contemporary missing/ out 12-3pm Free / Waikato Museum I Te Whare Taonga o Waikato

wish u were here!!

3 AUG

WHERE ARE U?

FOMO 6

From Scotland to Wales: A Guided just won $50 Tasting of British Beer on the pokies 2-4pm / The Hamilton Beer and Wine Co / $40

D NB

Right, so here’s the cold, hard truth: there’s no way that flailing around to some bad white noise that makes your ears hurt is better than belting out a bit of Bohemian Rhapsody or I Would Walk 500 Miles with your mates and strangers alike. Absolutely zilch competition.

Seriously. Those people that are obsessed with Losing It? Are you okay? Because if you google the lyrics to that “song,” it’s literally seven lines of “I’m losing it.” I tell you what, I’m losing my fucking brain cells trying to have a conversation with those absolute animals attempting to disguise themselves as uni students. Tell me why all you get from a night in Static or Back Bar is bruising from thrashing elbows and way too many run-ins with seeds chewing their own gums off when Billy’s is full of supportive strangers who never fail to join in when you hit the high notes of Sweet Caroline. It’s an eleventh commandment that if you chuck on some Bon Jovi, you can bet that every single specimen is going to give you their best attempt at singing Livin’ On a Prayer. This isn’t a fuckin’ contest because there is no contest. Singalongs unite people. They bridge the gap between gender, age, race, location, and status. They see everyone as equal and condemn judgment. DnB? If you’re not familiar with Netsky or Chase & Status, you’re not made to feel very welcome whether it be at the pres or on Vic St, and that’s not what university is all about. Now is the time to make life-long bonds, and Wagon Wheel is the Godgiven, fool-proof and sure-fire way to do it.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

SINGALONGS

Why the fuck do I even need to argue this? Oh well, I might as well reinforce the points that everyone is well aware of. I honestly don’t think much can top assembling the breathers at a flat with a coffin of Mavs each and cranking up the DnB to reach optimal noise complaints and maximum sesh levels. Straight up, it’s fact that you cannot reach peak sesh levels without having the DnB slapping courtesy of the butha on the decks. Why would you even try and get twisted with singalongs? It’s basically like having a quiet beer on a Tuesday. Actually nah; having a quiet beer is a lot more intense because there is no such thing as a quiet beer.

Besides, there is a sub genre for any kind of pres. Only got a handful of people around? Maduk, Friction, Sub Focus, Wilkinson, Metrik, 1991 all come to mind. Buuuut if you’ve packed out the lounge for an almighty sesh, you’re gonna legally require a breather on the decks throwing down tunes from the likes of Dimension, A.M.C, Kanine, K-motionz, Document one, Serum etc (DnB elitists can fuck off). Personally I’ve found that you can find your jaw trying to detach itself to any of these artists at pres, so they must make you feel pretty fucking good.

Like c’mon, it should be mandated by law that you must play DnB at pres; the two are just made for each other, unlike the other option, which goes with pregaming like a 97 year old and a staircase. Besides all the points I’ve made that absolutely will convince you, DnB just makes you feel pretty fucking great aye.

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Te Reo Māori on the Rise in the Waikato region Kahn Stevenson The popularity of te reo Māori learning is increasing steadily in the Waikato region. Te Wānanga o Aotearoa provide two-thirds of all te reo Māori learning provision nationally and have 7000 equivalent full-time students enrolled in their te reo Māori programmes throughout Aotearoa. Of those 7000 pupils, 800 learn in the Waikato region; an increase of 100 since 2015.

worth an estimated $50 billion, there are undoubted economic benefits from learning the language as well. A recent study has also shown that organisations incorporating te reo Māori in their workplaces benefit from increased job satisfaction, and recommends te reo Māori be encouraged by employees at all levels of a business, both Māori and non-Māori.”

Te Taiurungi (chief executive), Te Ururoa Flavell, highlights a number of the benefits of knowledge of te reo. “Our students tell us that learning te reo Māori improves not only their language ability but also their confidence and understanding of Māori culture. They feel empowered to learn more and try to incorporate te reo Māori into their everyday lives. Many tell us learning at Te Wānanga o Aotearoa has changed the way they think and opened their eyes to a whole new world,” Flavell says.

Recently, an increase in the use of te reo Māori in the community has also been observed. Hamilton café The District recently made headlines for encouraging customers to order their coffee in te reo. Lesley Leevey, owner of The District, believes the use of everyday te reo should be embraced. “We have to get over the Kiwi shyness of saying it wrong as we are never going to reach those lofty goals. Even the government wants 40 per cent of New Zealand to be bi-lingual by 2025. They are lofty goals, and we are never going to reach them if we sit back and are shy,” Lesley says.

“The number of jobs requiring a level of knowledge of te reo me ngā tikanga Māori is constantly increasing, providing career benefits for our tauira. And given the Māori economy is 8

Game Kings, a Hamilton-based manufacturer and online retailer of Board and Card Games, has created a new te reo Māori card game titled Tākaro. A kickstarter campaign for the game has raised over $17,000 with 386 backers. Ben Hawken, Operations Manager and game content creator at Game Kings, says that he noticed a lot of interest in the game when early prototypes debuted at the NZ Toy Fair. According to Hawken, room exists in the market for the game due to increased interest in tabletop games and a growing desire on the part of New Zealanders to learn about Māori language and culture.

“I personally believe that a lot of New Zealanders genuinely wish they were more capable of speaking and understanding te Reo Māori than they currently are. While there are numerous free courses available where people are able to begin the journey, I think many of us feel almost guilty about how little we know, and signing up these courses means facing that fact. As such, I’m a big fan of anything that allows people to begin the journey without the fear of coming across uneducated. Tākaro seemed to us to be a great way of teaching people a number of words that they could integrate into their day to day conversations around the water-cooler or while hanging out with whānau.”

Hawken believes the game has applications in educational settings, and Game Kings has implemented a buy-one-giveone campaign; “we’re aiming to have 5,000 packs donated to various NZ schools over the next year,” says Ben.

“ The number of jobs requiring a level of knowledge of te reo me ngā tikanga Māori is constantly increasing, providing career benefits for our tauira.”

VOXED The full versions of these interviews can be found online.

KL.R - I believe the normalisation of te reo is both good and important for modern day New Zealand because it is becoming increasingly bicultural over time.

D.M - I feel like it’s important at the outset to know that I am genuinely loving that there is more aroha given to our beautiful language and want to preserve such a taonga for future generations. And here’s the big but you were waiting for... It’s Maaori who deserve to have this provided to them, first and foremost.

N.C - I support the idea of more people learning and preserving their language, but not for forcing everyone to learn it. If they want to learn te reo in school or in their own time, that’s fine, just don’t make it compulsory.

C.S - We need to celebrate more Māori culture and te reo.

We need to say it more and help those who don’t know it to understand. It’s one of our official languages anyway, why not make it more important.

S.J - While it is good that it is popular, te reo isn’t useful anywhere else in the world. The only place you would use the language is here, and even then, most people only know the very basics.

W.L - Keeping the language and culture alive is fundamental for New Zealand. Te reo is part of our identity if we lose that part of our image, it takes our Kiwiana with it. But it should not be compulsory, there are so many different people in New Zealand, we should not force it on those who are not willing to learn.

“While you’re not going to finish the game speaking fluent te Reo Māori, we hope that for many people it will spark a desire for further learning and understanding of Māori culture as a whole, and for us that’s the real goal.”

With Te Wiki o te Reo Māori coming up in the second half of the semester, a number of ways to engage in te reo Māori present themselves. Te Ururoa Flavell proposes that “in September, we encourage everyone – no matter their level of competency in te reo Māori - to take part in the increasingly popular Mahuru Māori challenge, where participants chose to speak only te reo Māori for either a day, week or the entire month of September (Mahuru)”. Whether it’s a trip to The District, a game of Tākaro, or taking part in the Mahuru Māori challenge, Waikato students have the opportunity to extend their knowledge and practice their te reo skills.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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FEEL GOOD NEWS

UK woman Nicola Harrison has created a dog Hospice so that dogs at the end of their life can have the end they deserve. Each dog gets a bucket list, a birthday, steak dinners from the local pub, and ice creams from the McDonald’s drive-thru, making her old companions as loved and happy as can be.

US national park to do so, and the chair is free.

mysterious pouches near its fins that squirts luminous liquid into the ocean, leaving scientists stunned.

pop-up food truck and giving out his I Love You Restaurant bowls, serving 8,000 meals in one day.

The charity identifies vacant housing before transforming them into affordable housing, and their efforts have been recognised at the World Habitat Awards.

towards the expansion of its Neurological Institute, as well as a revamp of the Interventional Radiology diagnostic and treatment space.

Belinda Sharpe becomes the first female to referee a first grade NRL game, signalling a

After thieves stole the $9 profit the girls made from their lemonade stand, the community fundraised and the local police donated $170, making up for the loss.

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The California Energy Commision has awarded $70 million USD to California state schools to replace their diesel

run school buses with electric models. By eliminating the diesel buses the commission hopes to reduce air pollution for future school generations.

progressive move forward for the sport and Sharpe hopes that one day it’ll become normal practice.

33 US college students have been gifted full scholarships in the name of Dale Schroeder.

11 year old Alizay Kashif and her sister Emaan Kashif have raised over $350 for Feeding America.

A pocket sized shark has been found in the Gulf of Mexico and is thought to be a new species. The small shark has

Jaden Smith celebrated his 21st birthday by providing meals for the homeless, opening a Little Ones, a Tokyo-based charity, is helping impoverished single mothers into housing.

The Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles has received a $25 million donation to put

Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore in Michigan is providing heavy-duty wheelchairs so that visitors with disabilities can enjoy the trails and scenery. It’s the first

Dale worked as a carpenter for 67 years and amassed $3 million in savings, which he put into a scholarship before he died. As he never got to attend college himself, Dale didn’t want anyone else to miss out due to cost, and now “Dale’s Kids” are making their mark on the world as college grads.

International company Nestle has discovered a new way to create chocolate without adding sugar. Transforming a white Big fashion corporate Zara has pledged new sustainability goals, committing to making

sure all their cotton, polyester and linen will be sustainable, organic or recycled by 2025, along with 5 other major goals.

pulp formed on the outside of cocoa beans into a powder that naturally contains sugar, Nestle is able to sweeten their chocolate without added sugar. The pulp is normally discarded, so this will allow them to also reduce their waste.

Short News

QUOTES

Luka Love / Tessa Preddy A Facebook prank event encouraging attendees to “Storm Area 51” to get to the bottom of decades of whispers about secret alienalia purportedly contained there has been met by the local US Air Force base in characteristically military terms; “any attempt to illegally access the area is highly discouraged.”

An Australian man has struck not-gold, finding a lump of space metal near his home town of Maryborough instead. Prospector Dave Hole attacked the rock with a saw, drill and sledgehammer to no avail. Miffed, he took the lump to the Melbourne Museum who confirmed it was a 4.6-billion-year-old meteorite.

A$AP Rocky is holed up in a Swedish jail after an alleged assault in the country’s capital. Criminal justice reform advocate Kim Kardashian West has petitioned for his release amid concerns he will not return home as conditions in Swedish jails are still better than life in the United States.

Invercargill risks being neck-deep in its own shit as a skills shortage looms in Southland.

As many as a fifth of the region’s plumbers are nearing retirement, and scant new blood is signing up to take over the reins. Locals are unconcerned about rising shit levels, doubting anybody will even notice.

Charlie Manson’s son, Michael Brunner, has spoken out in defence of his father’s legacy in an attempt to shift the narrative around the infamous cult leader. Manson’s “Family” slaughtered six people in 1969 with Brunner defending his old man with the dubious but technically true “He didn’t necessarily kill.”

“I love that pontoon. Although I once backflipped off it and scraped my face on it coming back up. What a weird weird shame it’s gone. I hope its back in time for summer,” - Jenifer Silva, following the Waiheke pontoon theft “Totally untrue that Council granted permission for such behaviour - waste must be collected and disposed of responsibly. I’ll be writing to Sephora for an explanation and Council will investigate.” - Auckland Mayor Phil Goff following the Sephora NZ launch

“Just spoke to @KanyeWest about his friend A$AP Rocky’s incarceration. I will be calling the very talented Prime Minister of Sweden to see what we can do about helping A$AP Rocky.”

- Donald Trump

“Put your notes away and tell us what you think we need” - Anne Tolley to Youth MP Lily “Visit Hawaii, home to a s*** load of Dorrance over-commodified wonders” - Jason Momoa “New Zealand is open for business” - Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern

NEWS IN NUMBERS

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new Marvel movie titles announced.

the amount of likes you’re going to see on your friends Insta posts.

number of categories Billie Elish was nominated for in the VMAs.

102 the number of flat mates you’ll have living in Auckland’s new adult dorms.

5.1

2024 12 the year NASA wants to put humans on the moon again.

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year old missing boy found at local fair after driving himself there on a toy tractor.

magnitude earthquake in Athens.

Houses damaged after a massive gas explosion in Christchurch.

800 people queue up for the opening of a Sephora store in Auckland.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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Fake It - Badminton Sort of like tennis, but a smaller court so it’s perfect if you’re less fit. A step up from table tennis, though.

Either singles or couples - hitting a cock back and forth over a net.

Similar to when you run around your house swatting flies in the middle of summer (no Mortein needed, only a shuttlecock and a racquet).

The flight of the shuttlecock (also called a birdie) starts quick but decelerates rapidly, similar to my last attempt at running.

High Five From cock hitting to bird slamming, we bring you an interesting fact about each of the world’s top five ranked badminton players.

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Chen Long - With a huge obsession of cuddly teddy bears (weird), this Chinese phenomenon has 30 career titles; that’s at least 1,890 cocks hit.

Badminton Sports Quiz 1. How big is the badminton doubles court?

2. What used to be the NZ badminton teams’ name (now only used unofficially)?

3. What does BWF stand for?

4. How often are the Badminton World Champs held?

5.What nation does the current female world number one represent?

Player Profile Chou Tien-Chen - One of badminton’s more interesting characters. At 29, Tien-Chen has a unique training style of goosestepping Mother Nature’s tree in order to up his game.

Shi Yuqi - Yuqi has had a huge impact, winning his first title at age 17. But is this a surprise with him saying “I was basically born with a badminton racket in my right hand”?

Kento Momota - He didn’t get his #1 ranking through performances like Guptill in the ICC Cricket World Cup; Kento’s consistency and accuracy has seen him in the top spot despite his dislike of sushi and kittens.

PLAYE

R PRO FILE : CHRIS

BADM STEEGH INTO S N Why did y ou ch play? oose to pla Becau y the se I li sport ke to you smas h coc ks.

Pre o r I like Post Matc to we h ar my rituals: gems tones , align Mem my ch orable akras quot e from John a ma Daly tch: CHRIS STEEGHS Wors t Torn injury? patell ar ten don.

Answers:

1. 13.4m x 6.1m or 44ft x 20ft.. / 2. ‘Black Cocks’./ 3. Badminton World Federation. / 4. 3 times every four years; skips a year due to Summer Olympics./ 5. Taiwan.

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Viktor Axelsen - At 6’4, Viktor not only is the tallest cock hitter in the league right now, he also fancies a “sloppy joe” on occasions of depression, or as he calls it, “not winning”.

Best of three games to 21 wins the match. You have to win by two points though, obviously. On the line is in too.

NEXUS HEALTH How Diet Affects Mood + Productivity Yeah, I know. You’ve got an early class and you can’t be bothered getting up to pack lunch, or you’re slumped with an assignment for a class that you’ve skipped for the past couple of weeks. Well, it’s time to pick up that pan and start cooking, because these unhealthy decisions you make now could be affecting you with preventable long-term health consequences down the line.

Let’s start with the frequency of your meals. If you’re a sucker for skipping meals, you may want to rethink things. There’s this ‘thing’ in your brain called the HPA (hypothalamic-pituitaryadrenal) axis, which is responsible for regulating the stress response throughout the body. Before each meal, when your blood sugar levels are low, your body prepares itself for an influx of glucose - a.k.a., your food. If the meal doesn’t arrive, this triggers activation of the HPA axis and sends stress hormones throughout the body. Therefore, regular mealtimes help to aid stress (if you’re skipping important meals for the sake of weight loss, not only does constant stress come with its own health risks, but your metabolism is just going to slow down, my friend).

Since well before the days of Harold the giraffe, we’ve all been told to eat our 5-a-day, but do we take that seriously? Lack of fruits, vegetables and essential nutrients can drastically decrease energy, focus and cause unhealthy weight gain. And no, the shred of lettuce they put on a burger does not count.

Twitchy eyes, dizziness, bad sleep...take notice of the symptoms you might be facing without even realising; many of these may be signs of vitamin deficiency. Supplement ingredients aren’t tightly regulated and it’s difficult to know the exact amounts you need (an excess of vitamins you don’t need = expensive piss. Or, in more serious cases, toxic effects). That’s why the most ideal

scenario would be to enjoy a healthy diet with a diverse array of foods so that you receive the nutrients you need + the fibrous packaging they naturally come in, which is a necessary part of helping push shit along (no, literally) your digestive tract. There are also serious long term effects from poor diets, as you could have guessed. Risks include cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis and cancer. First problems associated with heart disease start in early 20s as unhealthy diets cause hardening of the arteries.

As students, lacking in money and time, we gravitate towards what is cheap and convenient. I know, veggies and fruit are commonly thought to be expenny; but honestly, head to your local grocer’s. That shit is cheeeap, especially if you skip a few fatty options in exchange for something fresh and green.

There’s a lot of talk about things like gluten, dairy, and grains being the bad guys. Stay tuned for another myth-busting Nexus Health to question those theories - essentially, don’t believe all the food fads you read about. Amongst the fancy terminology, the evidence isn’t always as conclusive as we’re led to believe (newsflash: actual, real Paleos ate grains). Diet culture really complicates nutrition - while making hefty profits for a lot of companies involved, might I add - it doesn’t have to be that hard.

We all have a basic grasp of the kind of foods that are good for us and bad for us. The greatest thing you can do for yourself is to actually find recipes that make you enthusiastic about cooking, which use a range of nutritious protein, fats and carbohydrates. Get excited about mealtime! And make a little bit extra to pack for lunch the next day. You deserve to feel good about yourself, folks.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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GROW GROW THE FUCK GROW OW THE FUCK UP GROW FUCK UP GROW THE FUCK U GROW THE FUCK UP UCK UP ROW T THE OW THE GROW GROW THE FUCK UCK U UP CK UP W FUCK UPGROW GROW THE FUCK GROW THE FUCK UP FUCK UP THE G GROW THE GROW TH GROW THE UP FUCK UP FUCK UCK UP FUCK UP F GROW THE ROWGROW RO THE THE FUCK UP G CKFUCK C UP UP GROW W THE F GROW FUCK THE UP GROW TH THEFUCK UP GROW THE FUCK UP FUCK UP How to Start Investing as a Young Person

Investing is something that most of us think you do when you’re a ‘proper adult,’ or when you’ve supposedly got your life together - either way, it’s not something that many of us are thinking about. However, whether we like to admit it or not, we technically are ‘proper adults,’ so, in true Nexus fashion, we’re here to tell you to grow the fuck up.

Tip #2 - Be smart with your money in all aspects.

Most likely, you’ve already got a student loan, so stop putting yourself in more debt! I know Afterpay and Laybuy seem great and all, but it actually just justifies you buying things that you generally can’t afford. Even though buying something on Laybuy comes with ‘no added costs,’ for your own sake, try to avoid acquiring more debt where possible.

Where to start?

We know it’s daunting; you’ve never been taught anything about investing. You’ve been taught trigonometry, you probably know a ridiculous amount of information about Macbeth, and you know how to interpret blue curtains as the author portraying feelings of sadness. Of course, just like taxes, the ropes of investing is left for you to figure out on your accord.

Tip #3 - Automate your investments.

If you set up an automatic payment into a savings account, you’re forcing yourself into a habit. While some weeks it might be tempting to transfer that money back into your everyday account, you’re better to stick it out and get used to living on less.

Let’s take it back down to basics - what exactly is investing?

Investing is a way to potentially increase the amount of money you have by putting it back into financial products.

Next question - what does ‘financial products’ mean?

These can range from something as simple as a bank account to the stock market or property; i.e. where you invest your money. Also, remember that a dollar today is worth more than a dollar tomorrow (shoutout ACCT101).

This essentially means that inflation causes your money to decrease in value if it is sitting just idle. However, if it is invested in something that increases in value or in a bank account with interest, you can mitigate this.

Tip #1 - Jump with both feet.

It can be scary to start, but when it comes to investing - like most things - no matter how much background research you’ve done, you will learn the most by doing.

You’ll get a feel for market trends, a chance to figure out what works and what doesn’t and ultimately devise an investing strategy specifically for you for the future.

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Tip #4 - Getting Stocky? Don’t Be Cocky.

If you are going to take an even bigger leap and invest in the stock, make sure you do your research first. Talk to a financial advisor if possible, or at least talk to someone that knows their shit. However, if you can’t find that, remember these key things; stock means you’re investing in a company, you’re doing it because the company is profitable and you’d like to be a part of their success, and lastly, ensure that you constantly monitor the market so you know when you should sell (or not).

Tip #5 - Invest in Yourself.

We know it’s cheesy, but it’s where you’ll find the most value. If you don’t invest in your personal life, you won’t be able to fully reap the benefits gained by your investment in your financial life. Surround yourself with people that uplift you, be passionate, and appreciate the opportunities you have to educate yourself! Best investment of them all.

W THE GROW ROW THE FUCK UP UP FUCK UCK UP W THE W THE T GROW GROW ROW THE GROW UP FUCK UP FUCK U FUCK UP GROW THE W TH GROW FUCK UP FUCK K UP W THE K UP GROW THE GROW THE FUCK UP FUCK UP HE P GROW OW TH THEGROW THE THE HE FUCK UP FUCKGROW UP FUCK UP GROW THE GROW THE FUCK UP FUCK UP GROW GROW THE FUCK FUCK UP GROW THE The Truth About Making It Jared Ipsen jared@nexusmag.co.nz

I’m sure if you get in to the stuff I write about, you’ve probably read a million other articles about how success isn’t about having a nice car and a mortgage and a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. You’ve probably already seen a thousand quotes on Instagram, superimposed over Tyler Durden, saying shit like “we buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like” or “follow your intention into the universe” or “doTERRATM oils prevent / treat Ebola” (they actually said that). Everyone has their own idea of what ‘making it’ or ‘being successful’ is - as if it was even possible to ‘make it.’

I feel like a lot of my articles focus on things we’re told that are bullshit. It might be because I’m a massive skeptic and never believe anything (apart from that Kawhi was gonna stay, and look how that turned out). It might be because the ‘self care’ industry has been overrun with massive corporations parading as niche businesses that care about you. But mostly it’s because I actually give a shit about you and want you to be happy - and comparing your own successes to the ones shown to you online or on TV probably isn’t the best way to go about it. Life is the process of constantly becoming. We’re sold this idea (probably because of capitalism) that if only we had certain things - a dream job, 100,000 followers on Instagram, the approval of our parents, etc - then we would have arrived. We would have ‘made it.’ We could give up the hustle. It would be smooth sailing from here on out.

But the idea of success, of ‘making it,’ of ‘arriving,’ seems like absolute bullshit to me (there I go again). There isn’t any amount of money or fame or success that can make you really, truly happy. Sure, your life would be on easy mode, but when

you’re constantly chasing that next thing, sometimes you forget to be happy about the thing you have now. Our modern idea of success (make yourself so profitable for The Machine that you work constantly and take out lots of loans you have to pay back to The Machine) seems really damaging to me.

Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have any goals or ideals or a vision of what you want your life to look like (even though I sure don’t), just don’t zoom out so far that you ignore the blessings that are in front of you right now. Getting your degree or that promotion or the big house would be dope - but don’t let the idea of what could be destroy the things you already have.

Success, to me, is waking up in the morning and actually being happy to be alive. Success is getting through the day without listening to the voice in my head that tells me I ain’t shit.

Success is catching my reflection in a window and not being disappointed that I’m still me. Success is spending an evening watching The Chase with my girlfriend and eating McDonald’s in the car. Success is remembering I’ve done the washing and don’t have to wear the same t-shirt I’ve worn for the last three days. I drive a $1800 Corolla and live with six other dudes in a house almost entirely covered in mould, and I consider myself a success.

The bro Allen Saunders once reckoned that “life is what happens while you are busy making other plans,” which I think sums up what I’m getting at pretty well. There’s nothing wrong with planning for success and striving toward a better future for yourself and the people you love - but don’t forget to enjoy life as it is now. You only get one.

whelmed.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

15

Braeden Bevege Nelson Cooper nelson@nexusmag.co.nz This interview was conducted with beer pong balls bouncing in the background and Post Malone tunes to set the mood. Our 17-year-old school leaver and self-proclaimed stud tells us his story of being from a well-mulleted town and shares his wisdom to those in need of increased female interaction.

Nexus: Can you quickly just run us through who you are and where you’re from and stuff?

My name’s Braeden Bevege and I’m from Aria, a little town just five minutes out of Piopio in the King Country. That’s pretty much me.

Nexus: Do you see many other mullets in Aria…[or] how about in the King Country?

Yeah, mullets are pretty fucking rogue, so yeah, if you get a mullet you’re a good cunt.

Nexus: Can you describe the mullet community for us better?

If you’re one with the mullet, you’re one with everyone sorta thing. Yeah, that’s probably it aye.

Nexus: Have you bumped into some other fellas with mullets?

Yeah, shit yeah. Everyone’s got a mullet.

Nexus: And how does that go?

You’re just best buds after that to be honest, you’re just one of the mullets.

Nexus: And what have been some of the reactions to your mullet?

Lots of girls love it.

Nexus: Can you describe some of your interactions with them?

I don’t know, they just want to take me to bed to be honest.

Nexus: Do you have any words of advice for people considering mullets?

If you want to get pussy, just get a mullet. Yeah, the end.

Nexus: Can you describe the environment was actually cut?

Just in my bathroom, like “Fuck yeah, I’m going to get a mullet.”

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

17

Sex in the Shower is Overrated There’s certain things in life where the hype far outweighs the actual experience. When it comes to sex, the absolute worst even more overrated than Kylie Jenner’s entire product range - is the in-shower variety. What kind of matrix shit allows one to actually have any decent fornication in such a small, confined, slippery space? Tell me where the fuck you put your feet where they won’t slip off and K.O. your partner? How do you practise safe sex when the condom transforms into a sandpapery shitstorm upon any watery contact? And what kind of gym routine must one follow to hold the glute strength required to maintain whatever contortion you’re in? Then there’s the issue of finding an angle that makes the magic happen...it just doesn’t fucking work. Less of the sensual Nicholas Sparks vibe we’ve been sold, more racoon eyes, awkward slip-overs and general shitty-ness. Of course, you could try lying down, but that’s essentially just missionary that costs more in the power bill.

There’s a thing or two you should go right ahead and try: sex in a parked car, rooting in public parks, and heck, even on your flatmate’s bed (joking, don’t be that weird fuck). Sex in weird places is excellent. Even though no cramped backseat of a ‘96 corolla or rubbed knees from the pavement of a local skate park (whatever you’re into ) can quite touch on the comfort of a plump duvet, soft pillows, and four walls, it’s all part of adding to your sexual repertoire (I mean, as long as no children are in sight or anything...because that’s fucked). However, Just Add

đ&#x;¤ˇ

18

Water and it all goes downhill. Pools, spas, the beach, the shower...none of them are sexy if you think through the logistics.

Apparently, there’s something wrong with vanilla sex. Now you need whips, toys, inventive locations, Hollywood-level film effects and acrobatics to keep it interesting. I’m calling bullshit. Whatever weird incestuous bullshit you’ve seen on Pornhub does not reflect reality (unless you live somewhere like Gore). Your stepmum will not - hopefully - ever give you a blowjob as a birthday surprise. The vast majority of people do, in fact, possess gag reflexes. Porn, much like film, tv, and social media, raises a lot of unrealistic expectations. Hence, consider shower sex a metaphor for false hope; a symbol of how mental fantasies are often 50x better than the real thing. It’s cool if sex feels awkward, messy, funny, uncomfortable, disappointing and frustrating, rather than like an academy award-winning performance - it all makes sense for a sport that quite literally leaves you naked and vulnerable.

So, here’s my final word: if you’re going to try shower sex anyway, don’t expect it to be perfect, and on behalf of your flatmates, never, ever do it when anyone else is home (...also, clean the drain regularly. I’ve heard stories). xxx

A PUNCH IN THE FACE WITH A FISTFUL OF FLAVOUR

UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO STAFF AND STUDENTS PAY

JUST $1.70 ONE WAY ON BUSES IN HAMILTON WITH A BUSIT CARD.

JUST SHOW THE BUS DRIVER YOUR UNI ID TO RECEIVE THE DISCOUNT.

CRUSH OF THE WEEK

TOP 10 -

Careers for Breathers That Aren’t Business (Definition of breather: the exact opposite from a fuckboy; a specimen that lives entirely For The Boys, and has what could only be described as a deeply problematic reliance on drugs and/or sinking piss.)

Civil engineering - For those who emerge from university without permanent chemically-induced brain damage, but are probably still virgins.

Dimension Well fuck me dead, where do I start? He is all that I desire. Studies have proven that his uniquely styled DnB bangers combined with his devilishly good looks will get anyone aroused regardless of sexual preference. My devotion to his music is out of this world. Your techno sounds turn me into a real raver. I would beg & borrow for him to give his love to me, it would give me such a rush.

WHAT'S HOT

. Friday Hilly sausage sizzles, can’t beat it . Taking a sports title away from the Aussies,

đ&#x;Ľ‡

up the Silver Ferns

. When your one night stand cooks you soft poached eggs in the morning

đ&#x;?ł

. Wanting John Key back đ&#x;˜Š . Frittering away your Study Link on the pokies WHAT'S NOT

. 3 hour lectures, honestly who can physically

â?“

listen for that long

. Having assignments due already đ&#x;˜Š . The fact that Love Island finishes this week and we all have to stop living through the contestants and go back to our shitty lives

. Having to wait till 11:30 for the Cameron lunch deal to start on a dusty Sunday

đ&#x;˜´

. Getting burned from Sal’s pizza on a night out 20

Mechanical engineering - Undeniably a pretty solid career, but ceebs with all the hard stuff.

Law Just kidding.

Teaching (probably P.E) - Wouldn’t be that bad, but can’t imagine rocking up to teach 5-year-olds after a bigweekendonthegearmoite.

Psychology - Dunno if they would love or hate being in a class of hot white girls who like to talk about their feelings though.

Hospitality - Since these munters are probably half of the income for all the nightclubs in town through their nights on the rark alone, why not finally earn that money back?

Languages - Ok nah but this would be a massive ceebs.

A trade - Tradies (and I cannot stress this enough) get the ladies.

Science - Makes sense, but their passion for chemistry labs is definitely suspicious.

Sports science - Arguably the mental version of eating crayons.

DIMINUTIVE POST

Uni Student Returns To Hometown To Find It Even shittier Than When He Left Jason, a third-year engineering student dedicated to his studies, has very little time to spend at home these days, as he informs Nexus. Despite this, he was understandably shocked at the sight of his old stomping ground becoming visibly more shit. “Yeah man I copped an eyeful of another new laundromat on the way in, there’s even rumours of a vape shop coming to town, makes me fucken livid mate.” Uni students all across the country are reporting this phenomenon. Regarding her shitty hometown, one girl stated: “I swear the only thing to do here now is huff Lynx Africa and watch the local senior b’s play.”

Nexus was unable to find a Lynx huffer to comment.

Local Female Seeks Validation From Friends Yet Again “This dress makes me look fat, doesn’t it?” Reports of annoying requests for validated appearance have sky-rocketed during a recent explosion in the frequency of 21st parties.

Complaints have largely centred around the behaviour of first-year Psychology major, Lucy, who consistently fishes for compliments from mates who honestly don’t really give a fuck if her tummy looks a little bloated. “Every single weekend, she tries to tell us she looks like shit, and we all have to reassure her,” says exhausted friend, Melissa. “I really want to just turn around and say you know what? Yes, Lucy, you do look like shit, just like your self-esteem and personality. One day I think I’m going to snap.”

Student Dares To Order Mild Butter Chicken Tired of fitting the stereotypical mould of a student living on mi goreng, white bread, chicken nugs or meat-and-threeveg, a second-year Marketing major branched out on Friday night. Charlie, 20, decided to entertain his multicultural side by ordering from his local Indian takeaway. “Butter chicken is my go-to but sometimes I order a mango chicken if I’m feeling really adventurous,” Charlie revealed. The Indian restaurant in question stated to Nexus that Charlie’s order was the 50th butter chicken processed that night, and they’re really fucking sick and tired of Kiwis who genuinely think butter chicken is actually Indian food.

Hunting Enthusiast Offers Insight Into 1080 Dilemma Welder and keen hunter Damon, aged 24, offered his social media followers some insight into how 1080 is ruining the country. He stated on his Facebook: “Fuk 1080 ay, hard asf for the kuris to get a bite, haven’t bagged a boar in ages ghee.”

Damon has not made any further statements regarding this issue, however, there has been a sighting of a new “fuck 1080” sticker gracing the rear of his 1995 Land Cruiser right next to his much older “crusty demons” sticker. Although Damon offered no actual scientific basis for his opinion, we can be sure those in power will heed his words of woe.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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Rin, Tongue and Dorner A Novel?

You may believe that Rich Shapero’s sixth novel Rin, Tounge and Dorner (available for free at any ReOrientation stand or lecture theatre) is an objectively bad piece of writing. Excusing its first sin of not using an Oxford comma in the title, you would be right. However, as an avid reader of the entire six-book series, I implore you to look at it as concept art. A character piece that details the descent into madness of the author rather than the clunky conceit of the characters and their soft-core animal metaphors. The fascination in each of these weighty novels is that Mr Shapero not only keeps writing them, but keeps paying campuses across the country to distribute them. As characters Rin, Tongue, and Dorner are completely one dimensional, the central conflict of the novel is confusing, which is why I assume he had to add the clarifier “a novel” on the title so it wouldn’t be confused with the abject ramblings of seven monkeys with a typewriter. That having been said, I still find myself drawn to these books in a way that I struggle to realise; Rich Shapero remains a fascination. A venture capitalist who made a lot of money and then used it to publish wildly confused and barely literate novels gives me hope. Reading Rin, Tongue and Dorner has shown me that literally anyone can write a novel, that money can’t buy happiness, and that venture capitalists aren’t all out to destroy the world. Some just want to destroy a few rain forests while churning out some twilight level mid-life crisis fan fiction erotica. I encourage everyone to read Rich Shapero and feel a little better about their own writing dreams.

22

Shenanigans Bar

If timed right, somewhere between the hours of 7pm and 10pm Shenanigans can be the best bar in Hamilton. That is what we discovered as it was selected as the venue for the Nexus and WSU ReOrientation drinks. Featuring an indoor/outdoor garden bar so that the serious and casual Nexus staff could smoke and avoid social interaction, this place was genuinely perfect. Mini sliders, spud fries, crumbed fish and all the standard pub fare was on the agenda. Moreover, what truly made the evening was the feeling that we could create our own vibe free from the judgement of regular Tuesday night patrons. So it was, with Guinness in hand we watched as Editor Grace knocked back shots with the best of them, including WSU President Nathan Rahui. Sports contributor Paora Manuel proved conclusively at the pool table that writing about sports and being good at them are mutually exclusive. And the Cook Island and STEM Students competed with WSU staff and former President Candra to see who could sing the loudest version of songs that were different from the ones being played through the speakers. This place has it all for both the amateur and the professional socialiser and its proximity to Billy’s Karaoke could make it a mainstay for Nexus social events in the years to come.

Secret Obsession Netflix Movie

Late Night Feelings Mark Ronson

London Tipton spends the entire movie trying to remember who she is; I have spent the entire rest of the week trying to forget watching this shit.

I was not stoned enough to clarify my own late-night feelings on this album but I think I liked it.

D I L A V Student Entrepreneur Sophie Miller Have you always dreamed of becoming an entrepreneur and being your own boss? If so, you’re in the right place, my friend.

Whether you want a side-job during your studies, or to drop out of uni altogether to pursue your preferred career path, entrepreneurship is a great idea – because how hard can it actually be, right? Without further ado, here’s a list of the best self-employment ideas perfect for an extra penny.

Ice cream man Weirdly, I can personally vouch for this one. I have to say, eating ice cream (for free) and gossiping with work pals is a bloody good way to spend your summer – unless you’re trying to get that summer bod. After all, this is every kid’s wildest dream, and we’re all kids at heart.

Instagram influencer Considering your Instagram is already absolutely banging, why not become a true ~influencer~? Get paid for posting #tbts of a family holiday that happened three damn years ago and blurry photos from Friday night’s sesh with the gals.

Gamer girl Maybe you can become the next Belle Delphine and sell ‘gamer girl bathwater’ to creepy guys for $30 a pop.

PASS THE

AUX

Sober driver While having a sober weekend may not quite be your idea of fun, being a personal chauffeur for your mates could definitely get you some extra moolah. Though if they don’t wanna pay up, just take it out their wallet; they’ll be too drunk to notice anyway (jk, Nexus doesn’t encourage illegal behaviour).

Stripper I mean, whatever pays the bills, right?

Dog walker I’m genuinely considering dropping out and becoming a dog walker – I mean, what could be better? Being paid to be surrounded by dogs is the definition of heaven on earth, so sign me up, mate.

Youtuber Next time you’re having a Trisha Paytas style mental breakdown on the kitchen floor at 3am because of the overwhelming amount of uni work during exams, just chuck the camera on and film yourself having a good cry. Who knows, you could become a millionaire from it.

Moral of the story, kids, is to just bloody stay in school and don’t give up on your degree x

It’s Hustle Time, Baby Spotify: nexusmag

follow us

1.

Hustler’s Ambition 50 Cent

4.

Get That Dough Ashanti Major

2.

Work from Home Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign

5.

Work Your Ass Off DeafBrood

3.

BYOB (Be Your Own Boss) Tiny Meat Gang

6.

Until We Rich Ice Cube

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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26

Nexus: How do you find the music scene in little ol’ Hamilton?

There is no music scene [laughs]. It’s just reggae, then you got barbeque reggae, you got Raglan

Nexus: So, how exactly did the name Silver Surfer come about?

We were on a major acid trip and monkeys came to us. It was super crazy, and the name just stuck.

It’s not even a good fuckin’ name really aye. We’re probably gonna get sued by Marvel – we do not associate with Marvel though – his name’s The Silver Surfer and we’re just silver surfer, and it’s all in lower case, so it’s different.

Nexus: So, do you feel like you stick with a particular style, or do you change it? What can we expect from the next release?

Pretty aggressive, pretty in your face kinda stuff. We haven’t changed scenes since we started, which was like a year ago, wasn’t that long ago.

Nexus: If you could describe silver surfer’s style in only one sentence, what would it be?

Terrible. Nah, Slipknot mixed with Aretha Franklin.

Nexus: We hear you have an official release coming soon – any extra details on this?

Do we? [laughs]. We just did some demos about two weeks ago in the studio which was pretty fun. Yeah, we’re recording music at the moment, should be coming out in a month or so hopefully.

Nexus caught up with the boys of silver surfer to chat about acid trips, old people doofs, and even the best shit town of NZ (spoiler alert: we’re winners, baby).

Give ‘em a listen and find them on social media @ silversurferband.

Nexus: What’s been one of your guys’ favourite gigs/performances so far?

Nexus: So you haven’t had any crazy fans or anything?

Nah. The weirdest thing was probably when we had a bunch of 15 and 16-year-old girls headbanging to our songs. We used to play for like older people, and then we see all this shit happening and we’re like what the fuck. It was kinda good to see though, yeah. We had beach balls all floating around and I decided to kick one, and it hit a girl straight in the face at point blank, that was pretty fun.

Nexus: Got any funny band stories to share with us?

Do we ever. Not really, we’re not really funny. On stage we’ve done a lot of funny stuff, you can’t really relive those moments though. But it’s good to be different on stage because everyone kinda stands there - you gotta just give a lot of energy. We were with this band from San Diego called Schizophonics, and they were doing backflips and shit on stage, hanging from the ceiling and stuff. So yeah we sorta learnt from that – just have more fun.

Nexus: How is it balancing attention and priorities between the band and general life stuff? Are you guys working alongside, what’s on the plate?

Yeah, I [Rheed] teach music but I don’t really put much effort into that, it’s a bit of a dead-end job. He [Griffin] basically does nothing, and he’s [Cole] still in school. I think we’re all on the same page with making this a priority at the moment, we’re really hanging on this for work.

reggae, you got dad bands, and then there’s us, there’s not much to it really. Yeah, it’s a little soft I think, at the moment.

Nexus: One last question – what’s the best shit town in NZ? Hamilton, I guess. There’s nothin’ to do, people just get bored out of their brains, that’s why everyone smokes crack I reckon [laughs], ‘cause there’s nothing else to do. Yeah hopefully we get good enough so that we don’t have to stay here for the rest of our lives like everyone else. Like we just do day trips up to Auckland where it’s so different, there’s just freaks up there – guys walkin’ round with mohawks, massive ones, like it’s nothing, it’s just so good.

Nexus: What are your goals for the future of the band?

Just make fuckin’ good music. We wanna play at a festival, yeah, we can always make a festival at my house. Probably wanna play at Coachella in the next couple years [laughs]. A festival would be fun I think as big as possible.

That one in the middle of nowhere for the old people. We went out to Tauranga, they had like fireworks and shit going on it was crazy – in the middle of nowhere, it wasn’t even in Tauranga.

There was no one under 70, it was like an old people doof, like an 80’s horror film – it was pretty fun. Nah, maybe one of the Yotty gigs, the Schizophonics one was pretty fun.

FULL EXPOSURE: SILVER SURFER

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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28

LEO JUL 23 - AUG 22

AQUARIUS JAN 20 - FEB 18

Everything the light touches will belong to you one day. Unfortunately, the light isn’t touching friends, wealth or a committed and loving relationship.

After last week’s confrontation, things are feeling unresolved. There are things you can’t take back and more you don’t want to but resolution and responsibility are for people in their 40s. If people want to hate you, fuck them. You’re perfect.

VIRGO AUG 23 - SEP 22

PISCES FEB 19 - MAR 20

The virgin maid sees abstinence and chastity this week. But honestly, if you listen to virgin stars, no one will ever cook you poached eggs for breakfast.

Seeking perfection leaves you perfectly lonely. If you want love then lower your expectations. They may not be the dream partner but they are the only ones talking to you in the Outback at 2 am and they show no visible signs of owning a vape so take the plunge, champ.

LIBRA SEP 23 - OCT 22

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 19

Balance only offers so much reward. Do something that scares you. Dance, sing, or take a real risk; just avoid having sex with someone who spent a semester in Bryant Hall. There are risks and then there is genuine stupidity.

Mars pushes into your astrological alignment this week, promising destruction and chaos in your life. Unfortunately, Mars doesn’t realise you’re a student in B Semester. There is nothing a planet can do to you that overeager flatmates, O-Weeks and Hospo nights haven’t already done to destroy you.

SCORPIO OCT 23 - NOV 21

TAURUS APR 20 - MAY 20

The illusion of unattainable popularity has been driving your behaviour too much lately.

You have made mistakes and learnt lessons.

Chief among them is that no one but you respects vaping.

True to the sign of the bull, you will charge into things with a headstrong certainty. This is great if you are eager and motivated, and a little annoying if you are a mature student raising your hand in the last minutes of a lecture.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUN 20

The paranoia and mistrust that usually envelope your soul reach a justifiable fever pitch this week. We aren’t saying your flatmate is using your toothbrush but your flatmate is definitely using your toothbrush.

The twins are sending you conflicting messages about the direction to take this week. When balancing a life decision, do the only practical thing available to you… drink cruisers and swipe left.

CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19

CANCER JUN 21 - JUL 22

Sex, drugs, and alcohol. None of that is for you this week. But if you work really hard a stranger might buy you a chocolate fish... although that may be laced with sex, drugs or alcohol so be safe and don’t accept fish from strangers.

The sign of the crab may be more literal than astrological this week, as there may be some awkward calls to ex’s on the horizon.

THIS HOROSCOPE SPONSORED BY THE UNIVERSITY MEDICAL CENTRE GET YOUR FREE CHECKUP TODAY

Ella - Tamahere Dance Academy tamaheredanceacademy.weebly.com

Nexus: Can you tell us about your business?

Tamahere Dance Academy is a dance school offering creative movement and dance classes for kids aged 3-10+. Over 50 students attend TDA classes on a weekly basis, coming from Tamahere, Matangi, Tauwhare, Cambridge and surrounding areas. As a dance educator, I like to place less of an emphasis on how well you can do in a medal test or whether you can perform well in a show, and rather focus on fostering a love of dance regardless of ability level. We hold a mid-year and endof-year showcase, and students also have the opportunity to participate in internal medal testing once a year.

STUDENT HUSTLERS Studying isn’t easy. Studying whilst running your own business, on the other hand? That’s a whole different ball game. In this issue, we’d like to highlight the achievements of university students who have taken the plunge to pursue their own business. It takes courage, a solid work ethic and a decent amount of determination to show that kind of discipline. The six people we’ve interviewed here are just a few examples of University of Waikato student entrepreneurs pushing themselves beyond their studies; because if you have ideas, gumption, and commitment, why not take a shot?

30

Nexus: From producing your initial idea, how did you start your business? And how old/how far through your studies were you?

I was 14 years old when I opened Tamahere Dance Academy.

I had been planning classes, obtaining licensing and creating advertisements since I was 13 but I had to wait until I turned 14 so that I could legally teach classes and earn a first aid certificate. I started by placing an advertisement in a school newsletter and waiting to see if I would get any interest and thankfully a number of families were interested in enrolling their kids in my classes.

Nexus: What advice would you have for other students who are keen to start a side hustle, but are holding back for whatever reason?

I think I am really fortunate in a way because I started my business at an age where you aren’t as afraid to fail and there wasn’t really anything riding on my success. If you are truly passionate about something then I don’t think pursuing that can constitute failure in any way, despite how much money you might make from it. I think for a uni student it’s really brave to try and create something out of nothing, so even if it doesn’t go to plan you need to remember that your effort should be commended. You never know what’s going to happen until you give it a go. And also, never be afraid to ask for help. There are so many people and organizations that are willing to help you or give you advice if you need it. The success of Tamahere Dance Academy would not be possible without the support of my friends and whānau.

Luke - Kultured

kultured.co.nz Instagram: @kulturedclothingnz Facebook: Kultured Clothing Nexus: Can you tell us about your business?

So I’ve started a Māori streetwear company, just trying to promote and encourage people to wear their own culture every single day. Just trying to normalise te reo Māori as well.

Nexus: How did you come up with the idea originally?

Like a year ago? I was through Te Āhurutanga; it’s like a Māori leadership program here at Waikato. I did my undergrad in media and creative tech, just sort of joked around my whole life about starting a clothing company...I finally finished my undergrad and my mum was like ‘what are you doing?’ And I was like, ‘ah, starting a clothing company,’ and she was like ‘yeah, do it!’ And I was like woah, okay maybe I should. So, I just started off, I made like 50 beanies. And then I just thought oh yeah this is it, I’m just going to sell those, and then they sold in about a week which was cool. I ordered another 100, because I just doubled it, and then I said ‘woah, those all sold!’ And man I was scared, I made 20 shirts, 20 long sleeves, then those sold and I was like let’s get 50 long sleeves, 50 shirts. Sold all those, and then it just developed like that.

Nexus: What advice would you have for other students who are keen to start a side hustle, but are holding back for whatever reason?

Don’t do clothing [laughs]. Nah I don’t know. It’s like, everyone wants to start a clothing brand and you start off, all your friends buy your clothes, and then it’s like, ‘oh man, I’ve actually got to put some work in.’ I reckon definitely try it, just do it. If you’ve had an idea in your mind, just throw away your ego. People say ‘oh your clothes are dumb, no one’s going to buy them,’ and it just makes me hungry man. I get a few messages or just hear from my mates like, ‘so and so was hating on your thing,’ and I always tell them I can’t wait til they buy a shirt...There’s always haters, but just smile at them and add it to your kete and just forget about them, man...When I started my clothing brand people were saying, ‘it’s not going to be big, you’re going to sell your 50 beanies and that’s it.’ And long term, like ‘you can’t do this full time,’ so yeah, just ignore them, if you want to do something just go out and do it I reckon; throw a bit of money at it, get it rolling, and if you’re passionate about it, it’ll flow.

Tara - Rosco Beard Co.

www.roscobeardco.com Facebook / Instagram: roscobeardco Come check us out at the Tamahere Country Market once a month (third Saturday, 9-1). Let us know you saw us in Nexus and we’ll give you a discount!

Nexus: Can you tell us about your business? (What do you sell, what the company is about) So basically, we make beard oils (lol). People who don’t get it just don’t get it. But people who do love using them. Our beard oils are all natural and we use doTerra to scent them - slightly more expensive but such a great way to scent something and they have awesome benefits as well. Beard oils help to nourish and hydrate the skin under the beard and help with the dry skin and itchiness beards can bring with them. It also makes your beard hair soft and smell good - for the ladies of course. We also make beard balms which are the same as oils but have a bit of beeswax in them to keep the beard styled (especially if it’s a bit longer and gets scruffy). Our scents are quite different to other beard oils but it’s important to keep our scents 100% natural because we don’t believe in putting synthetics into the skin - it’s not always good. Our name came from my partners dad who passed away a few years ago. We asked his family if we could use his nickname and they agreed. So we’re called Rosco Beard Co. Nexus: How has your business grown since you began?

I remember when we did our first ever market. We had no website, no social media, no marquee. We literally put up a tiny little table with three oils on it and a jar of lollies to entice people to come over. We made $150 off the bat. It definitely encourages us to keep going because there was obviously a need for it. We changed our scents, got a pop-up marquee (I’ll never buy a marquee that you have to put together EVER AGAIN), created more products and continued to keep going.

We got into more markets and created a website and social media platforms. Christmas was huge for us and allowed us to have a bit of spending money for our trip overseas.

Nexus: Have you faced any major challenges along the way?

Yes. Heaps. Motivation. Time. Money. Do I keep going? Is it worth it? Do I want to do this forever? Do we want to grow and get into retail space or stay the same?...I started off just wanting to craft something small and now I’m at a stage where I have to decide where to go next.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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Antonia - Freelance Editorial Services Nexus: Can you tell us about your business?

So, I am basically kind of like a free-lance writer, I do editing services. But I also do things like you’ve got your copywriting, your editorial, your advertorial, which are kind of the dark side of the editorial services, writing for advertising and things like that.

Nexus: Do you have any examples of work you’ve done recently? At the moment one of the projects I’m working on with a client is a book, and it’s kind of like a centenary book for a rugby club. So what they’ve got me doing is going out, finding all these records, finding all this information, doing a few interviews as well, and putting that together and just kind of laying it out for them as well.

Nexus: Have you faced any major challenges along the way?

In terms of kind of the business side, I’m definitely better at words than I am with numbers. Things like doing your own taxes and just working out ‘is this feasible? Can I afford to do this?

Or do I just need to get this from somewhere else?’ That side’s been pretty difficult. Luckily my dad has been really helpful because he’s an accountant, he has all of that knowledge to help me out with. So that’s probably been the hardest side, just learning more about those areas that you’re not skilled in. But if it’s really your goal to have your own business, you need to be good at everything, you have to be good in those areas so I think knowing that it will benefit me is a big motivator.

Nexus: What advice would you have for other students who are keen to start a side hustle, but are holding back for whatever reason?

I would just say, at this stage in your life as a student, you don’t have a lot to lose...on average you wouldn’t have children or big assets or anything a lot to lose, so you know just go out, have a play around, write all your ideas down that you’ve got.

That really helped for me and just think, is this something that you really could see happening in the future? When I studied at uni, I did the entrepreneur paper and that was really, really beneficial, so if any students are really serious about a business idea [I recommend it], IRD has a lot of good resources, just like business plans and stuff that you need. It’s all online, a lot of my stuff, even contracts and stuff for businesses...there’s always resources there that can really speed the process up.

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Hollie - Lush Rentals

Facebook / Instagram: @lushrentals Orders can be placed via Dm on either Instagram or Facebook Nexus: Can you tell us about your business?

It’s called Lush Rentals, and basically I bought a whole bunch of designer garments with the intention of me wearing them... so [now] I can rent them out and make money from it while still being able to wear mean clothes. Now that it’s got a lot bigger I think I have about 27ish, maybe 30 dresses? They’re all from 6 to 12, so I don’t really have many bigger sizes, but they’re all different dresses from different companies and stuff.

I just kind of see what people are into at the moment and then buy a few new things; you kind of see which ones are more popular than others...my job is [also] making sure I’m posting on Instagram or Facebook, and putting it in people’s feed so they remember, ‘Oh, there’s another rental site!’ And then I do all the handwashing myself, which takes ages. That gets done on either a Monday or a Tuesday depending on whether they’re local or postal, all rentals get sent out on Wednesday so that people get them by Thursday, because it’s overnight delivery, or Friday at the latest if there are hassles in the post.

Nexus: How has your business grown since you began?

I began in February last year, so it’s still pretty fresh, but it’s just me that does everything. My sister is a photographer, so when we do shoots and stuff she just does all the camera stuff and the editing and stuff for me which is mean. Iget my friends to model occasionally.

Nexus: What advice would you have for other students who are keen to start a side hustle, but are holding back for whatever reason?

I guess just be patient. When I started I was always wanting it to go off as soon as it was live; I wanted everyone to come, but it doesn’t happen like that. So you just have to be patient and make sure you’ve got everything worked out and don’t stress over it if it doesn’t work out the first time. I feel like that was one thing that I kind of stressed over a bit, when I didn’t have that many customers at the start I was like ‘I just spent $400 on this and only one person’s rented it…’ but you just have to be patient.

Todd - THread Co.

threadco.co.nz

Nexus: Can you tell us about your business?

It’s called THread Co. and I’ve been kind of doing it for a while now, unpaid. It’s like consulting work, it’s a digital marketing agency, so building websites, social media, online advertising, a little bit of design for small business. I’ve been doing that for a while now. It’s like, ‘oh, this is actually worth something, so I’ll put some money value on it,’ and there are people willing to pay. It’s mainly around small business and it’s helping them grow to a point where they can hire someone and then they can go off and do it themselves...I’ve done that a couple of times now, got them to that point where they find someone else, which is really cool.

Nexus: What might a typical day look like for you?

So if I’ve got lots of projects on and I’m doing quite a bit of work, I’ll get up (I’m generally not a morning person, I work better at night) and go to work in between my classes, and then do whatever I’m doing in the evening, I’ve generally got a meeting or something on, and then I’ll come home and work for a few hours at night, but if there’s something on then just working throughout the day, and getting up early if I have to, to finish something. So it’s just trying to fit it in between things, which as a student that’s really important as well...and that’s kind of a self-discipline thing and you only learn that by doing it...I’m the world’s worst procrastinator as most students are, so that’s a really big challenge.

Nexus: What advice would you have for other students who are keen to start a side hustle, but are holding back for whatever reason?

Don’t rush into it, take some time and think about it, but get a mentor. Get someone who has either gone into business, is in the industry where you’re thinking about starting a business or just has a little more life experience. Someone to keep you accountable and say, ‘hey, pull your socks up, stop being a dick,’ or ‘you should maybe be focussing down this pathway.’

Someone who’s just got that little bit of experience. Find a mentor, someone you trust. Someone who’s been there, done that, has failed and has got back up.

Motivating Quotes for Future Success Mia Milne Week 4 of semester; where motivation levels are seen to recede faster than a hairline on a middle-aged dad, and dreams of success are about as far off as the completion of the Waikato Expressway. This week, Nexus brings you a questionable selection of ‘Motivating Quotes for Future Success’.

‘You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job, and not be paid for it.’ - Oprah Winfrey.

Great notion there Oprah, but despite this, we’d also like to point out that being able to pay rent and eat is also nice..

‘I failed my way to success.’ - Thomas Edison A mantra to live by for anyone still crying about last semester results.

I think goals should never be easy, they should force you to work, even if they are uncomfortable at the time.” - Michael Phelps.

It goes without saying, the man would have had to have been working hard to successfully afford his grocery bill for breakfast...

‘Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.’- Chris Grosser. #1August #WMSSANetworking #@TheVerandah #6pm #getyourselfajob #success

‘Success isn’t just about what you accomplish in your life; it’s about what you inspire others to do.’

- Unknown. If you can apply this one to group work and inspire the people in your team to do their share, you’re onto a recipe for success (one even better than Jamie’s Oliver’s 45 minute meatballs).

‘Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.’

- John Wooden. A bit wordy, but true nevertheless. Put it on you wall or maybe the fridge door (where ever you look most frequently) and you’ll be well on your way to success.

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‘Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.’ Albert Schweitzer

Do what you love, do who you love…

‘Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.’

- Will Rogers . Maybe don’t dwell on this one when it’s Sunday and you’re waking up from a big night at 2pm - success is relative.

‘It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.’

- Vince Lombardi Apply this and you will successfully make it through a night in a concert mosh pit #saachi.

1.

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

2.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears

3.

Get Up Offa That Thing - James Brown

4.

September - Earth Wind and Fire

5.

I’m Every Woman - Chaka Khan

6.

Shake It - Metro Station

7.

Good Life - Kanye West

8.

Let Me Think About it - Ida Corr, Fredde Le Grand

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Another One Bites the Dust - Queen

10.

Rise Up 2.0 - Six60

11.

Downtown - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

12.

Sweet Child O’ Mine - Guns & Roses

13.

Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol

14.

Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys

15.

Dancing Queen - ABBA

16.

Wake Up - Aaradhna

17.

Happy - Pharrell Williams

18.

Dog Days are Over - Florence and the Machine

19.

Live your Life - T.I., Rihanna

Motivation// Get Out of Bed Tunes

20.

Last Nite - The Strokes

Mia Milne

21.

Changes - Butterfly Boucher, David Bowie

Sometimes Value packet Weetbix and Special Blend Coffee just aren’t enough to inspire you to roll out of bed in the morning.

Fortunately, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to deliver you a smorgasboard selection of the brightest and most vibrant tunes, all of which are designed to help stun your system into a semifunctioning state. Enjoy.

22.

WonderWall - Oasis

23.

The Anthem - Good Charlotte

24.

SuperMassive Black Hole - Muse

25.

All Star - Smash Mouth

26.

Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leppard

27.

Black Skinhead - Kanye West

28.

Wake Me Up Before you Go Go - Wham!

29.

Wake Me Up - Avicii

30.

WIN - Jay Rock

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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Top Tips for Starting Your Own Business Make a plan This should include things like your executive summary, business description, market strategies, description of your goods/services, management and operational plan, competitive analysis, and financials. (Give it a google to find out more about these). One of the main reasons new businesses fail is poor planning.

UNDER EMPLOYED

Don’t start off too big Start by testing your idea on a small scale. From there, you can learn what works well and what doesn’t, then make the necessary tweaks before scaling up. Keep your day job to begin with - it may be some time before your side hustle provides enough profit to stay afloat (plus, down the line, you may not want to do it as a full-time job).

Track your finances Once you’ve developed a business idea, calculate how much it’ll cost you, including every expense imaginable and your personal budget. Then quadruple it. Unexpected costs will arrive from all directions - so it’s better to be prepared.

Do your research (on your market, competitors, etc) Don’t assume there’s a market for your idea, just because you like the sound of it. Talk to real people, aside from family and friends, to see if they’d be interested and what they’d pay for your goods/services. Remember, the point of making your business should be to provide a solution or fill a gap in the market; if the market is already saturated, you’ll need a unique selling point, or you may want to rethink.

Make sure you’re passionate about what you’re doing If you’re not really that passionate, it’s probably not going to work. Think it through before jumping in too quickly.

Find a mentor This doesn’t mean you should start messaging random professionals on LinkedIn. You find your mentors the same way you find friends - it doesn’t happen immediately. Whether you build relationships with professors, former bosses, family friends, co-workers or the like, a mentor can provide you with great inspiration and insight. In the meantime, don’t underestimate the power of podcasts, Youtube videos and other online resources to learn from the professionals.

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SJS Weird Jobs of the Week RUBEN THE ROAD SAFETY BEAR PRESENTER | CASUAL | HAMILTON AREA - Dressing up as a giant purple bear?

We say why not.

PASSIONATE MATHEMATICS, ENGLISH, ACCOUNTING OR PHYSICS TUTORS | HAMILTON AND TE AWAMUTU | FIXED TERM - Seriously though, is anybody actually “passionate” about accounting?

PARKOUR COACH | PART-TIME | HAMILTON CBD Holy fuck. Yes. FARM FENCING | ONE-OFF | CAMBRIDGE Let’s just clarify what kind of fencing we’re talking about if it’s the sport, tell me more.

SINGING TEACHER/TUTOR | HAMILTON | PART TIME If they’d only seen us in Billy’s last weekend…

ARMY RESERVES - GET PAID TO TRAIN! Screw paying for the gym; this is how to get in shape for Love Island NZ.

REO TAUIRA Tikanga Tip: Whakamanatia tō whakapapa!

Kyla Campbell-Kamariera

As 21st century Māori who carry every day, our whakapapa, our pepeha, and everything else that makes us proud to be Māori, many lack the knowledge to entirely acknowledge the mauri and protect the land in which we come from. Our current environment is under attack. And unfortunately, our current environment is the only one that we’ll ever get. Our lands, waterways and natural resources are facing many environmental threats that are impacting the everyday livelihood of every living organism across the earth. In clean, green Aotearoa New Zealand, we are surrounded with these environmental issues every day, whether we see them or not; landward, seaward and skyward. Therefore, the conservation, preservation and protection of our natural environment is essential to provide a sustainable foundation for future generations.

Environmental issues like plastic pollution continue to plague every inch of our environment from its production to its “disposal”. Plastic pollution also leads to issues such as air pollution, water pollution, waste disposal issues and many more disastrous effects.

Does whakapapa really matter? Hell yes! It gives us an inextricable bond, a place to stand and unison with the universe. It tells us that we are never alone and never will be.

Therefore, here are three ways that you can whakamanatia your whakapapa: #1 Say NO to all single-use items!

Yes, even that Bongo’s cardboard container. Even though it isn’t made from plastic, the goal is to ditch all single-use items regardless of what it’s made of. TYOR = take your own reusable!

The top 10 single-use items found on our shorelines: plastic bottles, cigarette butts, earbuds, soft-plastic wrappers, sanitary items, plastic bags, plastic cutlery and straws, coffee and plastic drinking cups, balloons, and food containers and fast-food packaging. So take up the challenge and turn it into a habit. Say NO to all single-use items! #2 Ask where the recycling bin is at the party!

That’s right, recycle! Check out the local Hamilton council rules about what you can recycle. If they don’t recycle one of your most commonly used items in your household, maybe that’s a sign to remove it from your life. Be the change and prevent as much waste as you can from going into the landfill. #3 Reuse!

Replace one major disposable for a reusable alternative. Over time, choose alternatives that will eventually phase out any disposable item in your life! There are many alternatives most people don’t realise actually have a reusable counterpart. Have a good think and try to identify the things that always end up in your big black rubbish bag of despair to see if you can minimise and eliminate that waste.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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Random Audit

Random Audit MRKTG101: Fundamentals of Successful Marketing After receiving strict instructions to stop thirsting over lecturers and teaching assistants, I set off to experience my first ever marketing paper. I’d already made a crucial mistake though, in having a mint before the slow but deadly incline that is the walk from the SUB to the PWC; I felt like I was choking on a fucking icicle. Rip. First of all, there were way too many people here for a marketing lecture in PWC at 3pm.

Secondly, there were enough high ponies in the room for it be mistaken for a cheerleading competition. And thirdly, a dude in front of me straight up dropped his fucking MacBook on the desk and he didn’t. Even. CARE. These are definitely business kids.

Frankly, there were way too many Apple laptops, designer clothes, and poor attempts at a seedy mo’ for my liking - no offence, I didn’t feel very intimidated and that’s coming from an arts kid.

Sorry to burst your bubble, you lil’ first-year management students, but you clearly don’t have quite the rep you all think you do.

A scared-looking group, clearly residents of College Hall, arrived and looked absolutely terrified that the rows at the back didn’t have enough seats for the five of them to all sit together; horror.

One of the lads mans up though, and bravely says, “Nah, let’s sit here, second from the back, easy exit because it’s right by the door,” and then utters those words: “hey bro, can you move along a seat?” Legend. Clearly when half the fucking uni does your degree you can actually make a friend group that’s more than three people - lucky for some.

Honestly, the lecture hadn’t even started yet and I already felt like I was on a completely different planet. I had never seen that many people in one class before. You definitely wouldn’t want to be late; five minutes before class even started and I was already surrounded by more freshers than in Bar101 during Toga Party. I couldn’t even disobey orders and tell you how hot the lecturer was because I couldn’t even see the man. I did appreciate his intro, though; “alright folks, let’s settle down and put our phones away.” Bless. All that appreciation went out the fucking window when he asked the class to pull out their nametags. Excuse me? I couldn’t even tell you what the lecture was on because I was out of there faster than you could say boo.

UNI STUFF He Tirohanga ki Tai: Dismantling the Doctrine of Discovery @ Calder & Lawson Gallery, Gallagher Academy of Performing Arts, University of Waikato - 26th June to 13th September.

CPA Australia Employer Visit @ MSB.1.37 Tuesday 30th July, 5:30am until 9am.

Reminders Call Nana Supermarket shop Pay rent

Free lunchtime yoga in Tauranga @ Tauranga City Yoga, 162 Durham Street - Tuesday 30th July, 1:05 - 1:55pm.

Vacuum

Fireside Stories @ The Wellbeing Hub - Tuesday 30th July, 5-6pm.

Buy gift for Ryan’s 21st

Education Personnel: Job Find Assistance Seminar @ S.1.04 - Wednesday 31st July, 1:05-2pm.

203 Assignment due Friday!

Buy textbooks Read horoscope Put the recycling out Buy a keep cup

Ministry of Foreign Affairs & Trade Employer Visit @ MSB1.01 - Wednesday 31st July, 1:05-2pm.

Student Village Workshops with WMSSA @ Lounge 3 - Wednesday 31st July, 6:30-7:30pm.

WMSSA Networking Expo @ The Verandah Thursday 1st August, 6-8pm.

UTSNZ Netball Trials at UniRec Wednesday 31 July from 5.30pm - 7pm. (The best squad of women will be selected to represent the University of Waikato at the National tournament in Palmerston North at the end of September.)

Student Drop-in sport at UniRec Every Wednesday 1-3pm Drop-in Volleyball Every Thursday 1-3pm Drop-in Badminton & Table Tennis.

WMSSA’s Networking Expo 1st August / 6-8pm / Free / The Verandah.

This week’s menu Mon: Home-made pizzas Tues: Risotto Wed: Mac ‘n’ Cheese Thurs: Roast vege & salad Fri: Sausages & mash Sat: Pre-pres Marmite toast Sun: Mums for dinner

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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PROCRASTINATION STATION PUZZLE A couple went to Hawaii for their honeymoon.

Unfortunately, the husband returned home alone because his wife had died in a horrible boating accident. After speaking with the travel agent who booked their trip, the police arrested the husband for murdering his wife. How did they know he did it?

LAST ISSUES ANSWER: There was a very obvious clue on the piece of paper. If you combine the abbreviations of the chemical substances on the paper, you’ll get a name: Ni-C-O-La-S.

lABYRINTH

http://1sudoku.com

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MANE TAHI RIMA Mane - Monday WARU

WORD LOCATOR Tūrei - Tuesday

WENEREI RUA ONO IWA

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PARAIRE TORU Toru - three WHITU TEKAU Whā - four

Wenerei - Wednesday

Rima - five

Tāite - Thursday

Ono - six

Paraire - Friday

Whitu - seven

Hātarei - Saturday

Waru - eight

Rātapu - Sunday

Iwa - nine

Tahi - one

Tekau - ten

Rua - two NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 16

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WAIKAT FLATS CAMERON RD. MUNSTERS: PART 2

These fellas look out their windows onto the Cameron Rd. Munsters (our first Waikat Flats of the semester) and declare themselves the second half. In this flat you’ll find a Vape Lord’s Den, an overflowing condom stash, a bathroom guests are discouraged from using and a furniture cemetery.

The star of the flat is a fifth year undergraduate student who’s been on the Nexus Blind Date waiting list since O-Week. Other flatties include a player, a sideline referee, and a cheerleader of the University under 85kg Stags. Enjoy <3 Want to land yourself a spot in the mag and some free Sal’s pizza to boot? Get in touch with us at editor@nexusmag.co.nz 42

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SNAPPED WINNER

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Keen for some free BurgerFuel? Simply snap us the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win. Prizes can be claimed from the SUB.

BLIND DATE Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a hospo night regular, a durry muncher and a tall gremlin who never says no to a sesh.

She describes herself as a feisty latina; a business student, serial heartbreaker, and a social butterfly whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always up for banter. If thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one thing Nexus has learnt through blind dating, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that people are really fucking picky (arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;all students meant to be sleazy?), and that people should probably inform us in advance if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not going to drink any fucking booze.

SHE SAID: Ok amores Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been on â&#x20AC;&#x153;datesâ&#x20AC;? before, but this is the first time I was actually aware that I was on a date. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t drink due to religious reasons, so my biggest worry was that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d get roasted on this magazine for simply being sober all the time, and possibly live with that for the rest of my life. Anyways, I arrived early and got a lemon lime drink to CaLM tHe NeRVeS, and once he arrived we ordered some food and started chatting away. He seemed like a very sweet guy, and I think he was a little nervous? but things I cannot stand are awkward silences (even if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re short), and moments where the convo isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t flowing when it should, so there were times where I was like â&#x20AC;&#x153;man surely I could drink this ONCE Dios mio por favor forgive meâ&#x20AC;?, but then I thought nah I wanna make it to heaven so đ&#x;?ť. As we talked and learned more about each other, I realized fairly quickly that we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really have much in common, apart from the fact that we travelled to various countries, and currently study at the same uni. But it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really matter because I had to get back home and finish off a report anyway (or more like start it. I have less than 12 hours).

đ&#x;¤ˇ

HE SAID: In all honesty, I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t expecting any more than an excuse to get on the piss for a couple of hours, and a way to justify skipping my 9 am the next day. I felt terrible as I stumbled in 5 minutes late to see a sober date. It was clear that my idea of going on a date blind was completely different from her idea of a blind date. We were very different. She was a multilingual strategy student, returning from an exchange to Japan, and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m at uni to tick the boxes. Despite our clear differences, we had some good yarns. We talked and ate some nibbles before she went to study, while I was left with $75 of the bar tab to head home to my bathroom floor. Mission Accomplished.

Cheers to Nexus and House for a good night, and to the poor girl who had to put up with all my shit chat. I hope you still had an algood night, and find the guy youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re after.

Overall a really really realllllyyyy nice guy bless his soul. Also, amigo Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sorry if I looked pissed.

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the only face I have.

Thanks again Nexus for the first date Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve knowingly been on xx

Brought to you by House on Hood. If you're keen for a Blind Date, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

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EXPERIENCE

REVIEWERS - ARTISTS - FEATURE WRITERS - ONLINE COLUNMISTS

Nexus is seeking volunteer contributors with stories to tell in 2019. If you think you're ready to write then email: Editor@Nexusmag.co.nz

COLUMNISTS

Blu 2019 Wallace Corporation University of Waikato Blues Awards