Nexus 2019 Issue 7 by Nexus Magazine

NEXUS NEXUSISGOES ON THE GREEN CASE

ISSUE 7 VOL 52

8.4.19

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CONTENTS

POSTGRAD'S PARLIAMENT PROTEST

NEXUS INTERPRETS YOUR DREAMS

Editorial

Feature:

FOMO

News Feature

Reviews

Madeleine McCaan

Easy News

Sports

whelmed.

Random Audit

Feel Good News

This VS That

Entertainment

Waikat Flats

Reo Tauira

Horoscopes

UnderEmployed

Procrastination Station

Grow The Fuck Up

Snapped

Valid

Blind date

Nexus Interprets Your Dreams

Full Exposure - nomad

Grace Mitchell Nexus Editor editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Kim Sare Deputy Editor kim@nexusmag.co.nz

Ashlea Curran Designer design@nexusmag.co.nz

James Raffan Managing Editor james@nexusmag.co.nz

Danielle Marks danielle@nexusmag.co.nz

Nexus Classroom

Marnie Hunter

Todd Harper News Editor todd@nexusmag.co.nz

marnie@nexusmag.co.nz

Yuwei Wan

Luka Love luka@nexusmag.co.nz

Sarah Graham Joshua Ziegler Swabeehaa Bi Benjamin Harcourt

Contributors

Jared Ipsen jared@nexusmag.co.nz

Nathan Rahui president@wsu.org.nz

Sophie Miller sophie@nexusmag.co.nz

TĹ?mairangi McRae vp@wsu.org.nz

Nelson Cooper nelson@nexusmag.co.nz

Kyla Campbell-Kamariera vpmaori@wsu.org.nz

Mayyah Gordon

sumayyah@nexusmag.co.nz

Advertising

Makayla Wallace - Tidd makayla@nexusmag.co.nz

Ella Morgan ella@nexusmag.co.nz

Kendrah Worsley + Tara Overwater comms@wsu.org.nz

Scott Smith

Centrefold Vincent Owen @_vincentowen

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

EDITORIAL Grace Mitchell Nexus Editor editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Children go missing every day This week, I spent a few days locked in a dark room (okay, not literally), burrowing deep into the rabbit hole that is the Madeleine McCann mystery. With the hordes of research I crammed, and of course my extensive detective expertise as a 20-year old biology major, I think I may have just cracked it. If you haven’t heard of the case - which would be kind of crazy, considering it’s essentially the highest profile missing child case in history - you can read all about it in the feature this week. I’ll admit something here: usually, I shy away from watching murder documentaries (to be fair, I also avoid any kind of horror movie or anything that contains too many suspenseful moments, because my cortisol levels just can’t deal and those are not fucking entertaining, okay). In all seriousness, though, none of us should be turning a blind eye to what is truly the heart of the issue here. Upon my research into this case, I was reminded of the true extent of the missing children problem.

In the McCann case, as well as with other shows about murder and kidnapping, it’s important that the sensationalism doesn’t cloud the public view to the point that we forget these are real people suffering real tragedy. Are tv series, news stories, novels, and films helpful contributions to helping us understand important crimes, or are we using real tragedy to be built into a drama for entertainment value? Former editor of the Sun, Kelvin Mackenzie, put it perfectly in this quote from the Netflix series: “If this was counter-terrorism, we’d be declaring war on these people. We would be throwing billions of pounds, not millions of pounds, at it. We’d be engaging from the classroom through to every business in the world and we’d be collaborating in ways that we only do around CTA counter-terrorism. So there needs to be a wake-up call.” Let’s bring the children home.

While the disappearance of Madeleine, or any child, should indeed merit the most attention and resources possible to find the victim and bring justice, there are hundreds and thousands of missing children in the world whose investigations never received anything close to the amount of the McCann’s complex case. The heartbreaking thing is that perhaps if they had, those children would’ve been found. Why are 460,000 children reported missing from the US every year, according to the International Centre for missing & exploited children (that’s with discrepancy in the numbers due to under-reporting)? 112,853 from the UK? 20,000 from Australia? 80 from New Zealand? Why aren’t we talking about this? Yes, it’s dark and it’s scary, but these are mere children being thrust into the very dark, scary situations that even adults are afraid to discuss. What hope do they have? 5

Omg that hot guy from the club is here

the sevens are going offf

FOMO!!!

girl you are missing out

wish u were here!!

just won $50 on the pokies

FOMO

Sexual Assault Awareness Week - Come along to the events on campus from Monday 8 – Friday 12 April to raise awareness and understand your rights and responsibilities. Visit bit. ly/2CLkQNX to see the schedule of events.

9 APR

Ben and Jerry’s Free Cone Day 12pm-8pm. Head to the

Te Awa Ben and Jerry’s store for a free cone of icecream of your choice. Get in quick to get your first, then hop back in line for another if you please!

9 APR

Save a life, give blood 10am-2.30 pm Give blood at UniRec. Book an appointment at nzblood.co.nz or just drop in on the day. Bring ID and have something to eat and drink before you come.

9 APR

Xero Employer Visit 5-8pm in S.1.05 (S Block) Learn about recruitment processes, graduate programmes and how to get your foot in the door at Xero.

10 APR

12 APR

13 APR

14 APR

Athlete Development Session – Energy fuelling failure: Consequences to health and sport performance You’ll learn about RED-s, Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport. 1.05pm – 1.50pm in L.G.05.

Kelvin Cruickshank NZ’s famous medium is here in Hamilton to help you connect with your loved ones who have passed on. 7-9.30pm, Clarence Street Theatre. Tickets $72.50 from Ticketek.

YES Cocktail Mixer Iguana 7pm. Young Engineer's Society is hosting a mixer. Free for members, $5 for non-members

Nourish & Renew Yourself with Sarah & Kirsten Come and learn how to fuel your life with the power of essential oils and Kundalini Yoga. 9am - 12pm at The Light Room in Tauranga, tickets from www.thelightroom.studio

Speaking to Nexus the PGSA said they are keen to see what form the proposal will take.

POSTGRAD'S PARLIAMENT PROTEST If you’re wondering why your lectures are quieter this week it may be because all of the post-grad and mature students have piled into their Toyota Prius (we assume), driven to Wellington and are keen to do what they do best - ask questions of authority figures for hours untill they get the answers they want.

Todd Harper News Editor todd@nexusmag.co.nz

This Thursday postgraduate students will take to the steps of parliament in a bid to reinstate postgraduate student allowances. The rally follows a petition led by the New Zealand Union of Students’ Association (NZUSA), which currently has over 2,500 signatures. The $240 weekly allowances were scrapped in 2013 under the previous National government. For the last six years, postgraduate students have had to fund their own study efforts. Campaign statements by Labour In 2017 suggested the reinstatement of these allowances was a possibility but groups like the University of Waikato Postgraduate Students’ Association are sick of waiting. 8

“The PGSA is aware of the call on the government to reinstatement a Postgraduate Student Allowance (PSA) made by the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations and others. “The PGSA supports the introduction of a PSA and is keen to see what form the proposal will take. We will be engaging with our members to determine what approach the PGSA will take in demonstrating its support as the proposal develops further.” The petition is also supported by WSU President (and current postgrad student) Nathan Rahui, who believes all postgrad allowances should be reinstated. “Although there still needs to be an improvement in all allowances in general, undergraduates are fortunate enough to receive some support to alleviate financial stress. I don't understand why the government thinks that by postgraduate level, any of those financial strains have disappeared? The research conducted by our country's postgrads, and especially Waikato students, is vital to the future of our country and on a global scale. “Since the abolition, students that aren't one of the few recipients to receive a scholarship have to try and balance study with steady work to make enough income to pay for rent, kai, bills and often provide for their own whānau. It can often mean more time away from their commitment to studies, as well as loved ones. By reinstating allowances, it means allowing students to be able to focus more on their studies without having money worries continuously in the back of their minds. If postgrads are trying to do work that betters our society, why are we trying to hinder them?” The rally to reinstate postgraduate student allowances is going to take place at Parliament on April 11th, between 12.30 pm – 2 pm. The petition calls on the government to reinstate the postgraduate allowances urgently. According to the NZUSA, there have been many cases of students not being able to complete their postgraduate studies due to financial struggles.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

NZUSA President James Ranstead says restoring the postgraduate student allowances is vital for New Zealand. “Restoring the postgraduate allowance isn't just good for students, it's good for the country. Across Aotearoa, postgraduate students are studying in fields that are crucial to our country's future – climate change, freshwater, poverty and mental health. The current government is committed to solving these issues, however, in order for this work to succeed, we urgently need to be supporting and empowering our people to gain skills in these areas. A postgraduate student allowance is an easy step towards making this a reality. “Fairness is important to all of us. We need a fair and equitable student support system across all course types, from certificate level right through to a PhD. Education should be upheld as a way of reducing inequality, however, the lack of a Postgraduate student allowance stifles student opportunity.” There is little information about what a return of the postgraduate student allowances could look like, as the Minister of Education Chris Hipkins has said he will not comment on issues that surround the upcoming budget release. This is expected to delivered by the Minister of Finance Grant Robertson on 30 May. Till then, the lack of financial support for postgraduate students has current students questioning whether they will continue with studies after completing their degree. University of Waikato Psychology student Nicole says she’s had to put her dream of postgraduate study on hold. “I’m passionate about reducing New Zealand’s horrific suicide rate through studying towards a career in psychology. Unfortunately, due to the lack of financial support at a postgraduate level, I’ve had to put that dream on hold.”

EASY NEWS

NEWS IN "I could call him a four-flushing, jingoistic moron, but you NUMBERS already know that in Australia... he is a national, absolute, QUOTES

democratic aberration." - Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters on Australian Senator Fraser Anning.

80%

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

number of times Prime Minister Theresa May’s Brexit proposal has been rejected by the House of Commons.

$1000

Sir Michael Cullen’s paycheck amount of ‘dark per day for his part-time work "I respectfully remind parents that bringing hot drinks into web’ traffic as Chair of the NZ Tax Working the schoolyard, classroom or other areas where students accounted for Group. are present, is not allowed." - James Daly, Junior Principle by paedophiles. of St Kevin's Glendalough in Toorak, Melbourne, after the business students waiting for school bans parents from bringing hot drinks to school million refunds from New Zealand drop-off. earned from NZ Institute of Technical Training. speed camera “They're essentially rearranging the deckchairs while the million fines in 2018. Titanic sinks." - Journalist and author Ginger Gorman dollars when discussing Facebook and its reaction to cyberhate - value of people accidentally years since posted on its platforms. the human paid the Winter the Chernobyl trafficking nuclear Energy Payment “I owe them all a cold beer when I get better.” - Robert industry disaster after a system Franklin talking about his rescuers, after he snapped both per annum. blunder. in Ukraine. his tibia and fibia while in the bush at Kawakawa Bay.

1 5 0

THE VEIL OF HARMONY Sija Soman

One week after the tragic Christchurch incident, I wore a headscarf as I headed to the University of Waikato to attend an MBM lecture. I was excited to learn about New Zealand’s cultural diversity and ethnicities as our Programme Director explained. During a break after the lecture, my classmate Nurshima came closer to me and whispered: “Thank you for this gesture, it means a lot to me.” The week after the shooting incident, on March 22, women across the nation donned headscarves as part of the Head Scarf for Harmony campaign in support of the Muslim community in New Zealand. Wearing the scarf has given me for the first time an appreciation of what it is like to be a minority. A lot of Muslim students expressed to me that they were scared to go out covering their head after the incident. It is just a piece of clothing but surrounding it are social prejudices, uncertainties, and discriminations. I understand that one day of wearing it is very different from wearing it all the time, but I am glad to have walked in their shoes and understood how they feel. It taught me how important it is for us, as students, to come out of the social conditioning and widen our understanding about others.

$44

25000

Having lived in the United Arab Emirates for several years where Muslims are a majority, I never felt people were gazing at me because I was not wearing a headscarf. People of all religions live in great harmony, performing their religious rites in the UAE. That is where the spirit of tolerance comes into the picture. And we need leaders with a big heart like Sheikh Mohammed and Jacinda Ardern to tell us that humanity is the greatest religion in this world. TaylaDee from the Student Union told me that the Christchurch incident was weighing on her mind so much that she was confused about how to face her Muslim coworkers the next day in her office. To her surprise, Alaa, a Muslim colleague, was the first to greet her with a smile on that day. “That moment I knew that our unity and companionship can’t be broken by the heinous act of a single person,” said TaylaDee. As educated global citizens, we are here to transcend all differences brought in by religion, colour or creed. Our University did pretty well in empathizing with our fellow Muslims. The Chalking Campaign, Night Vigil and various other support initiatives by the Waikato University Muslim Club reiterate the fact that their pain is no different from that of ours. The incident has brought us all together, only to change for the better. 11

Jared Ipsen jared@nexusmag.co.nz

Last week marked the first time I’ve ever missed an article since I’ve been writing for Nexus, I think. I had pushed through a few of those nights where every sentence I wrote was absolute garbage, and even three hours of effort was only enough for half a page of writing. Eventually, I gave up. It wasn’t worth having a meltdown on my couch over, just to turn in a sub-par piece about how I can’t quit smoking. So I started thinking about why I suddenly couldn’t string a sentence together after years of never having an issue. I was starting to hate my own writing. Every sentence was pretentious and stupid at the same time. My style was formulaic, Buzzfeed-style bullshit that AI could probably write better than me. Maybe I felt weird writing about mental health when I have such a loose grip on my own. Still, I don’t think the problem was my writing - just the way I was viewing it. Believing in yourself is one of the hardest things to do - especially after corporations figured out the best way to sell us shit was convincing us we ain’t shit. How many opportunities do we pass up in life because you think we aren’t capable? After being paralyzed by my own anxieties for years, it wasn’t until I realised I could trust myself and my own decisions that new doors and pathways started opening up for me. And I wasn’t about to let one week of self doubt blow my opportunity of doing something I’ve always wanted to do - be a writer. But sure, maybe some of the shitty things we tell ourselves are gonna hold some weight. Sure, there’s always going to be people that don’t like what you do, or think you’re full of shit. There’s probably a few people I know hate-reading this right now. But who cares, right? No matter which way you slice it, we’re all

just little specks of dust flying around the universe on a tiny rock. It’ll all be over soon enough - why shouldn’t we jump at everything that comes our way? Why shouldn’t we stop at nothing to live out our dreams? You can finish that paper. You can apply for that job. You can ask that person out for a coffee. You can drag your depressed ass out of bed and have a shower. You might have done things you regret in the past. You may have tried and failed a thousand times before. But that doesn’t mean that today can’t be the best day of your life, if you want it to be. There’s a really cool line in an IDLES song that says “if someone talked to you the way you do to you, I’d put their teeth through. Love yourself.” That’s the kind of energy I’m trying to hold in 2019 - fuck self doubt, fuck that little voice in your head telling you that you ain’t shit, and fuck anyone around you that tries to hold you back. The best way we can reclaim our lives from corporations, capitalism, crippling depression and consumerism is to deeply and radically love ourselves. Try talking to yourself like you’re somebody you actually care about. Try to remember that you aren’t perfect, and every time something in your life ends, it’s just an opportunity for a new beginning. Try to hold on to the fact that everything changes, nothing lasts forever, and suffering usually comes from either trying to prolong joy or postpone pain. The fact of the matter is, there are always going to be hard times in your life, and there’s nothing you can do about it. All we can do is ride the wave, endure shit times cheerfully, and do our best to make the world a better place than it was yesterday.

whelmed. 12

FEEL GOOD NEWS

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

Born in 1832, Jonathan the Tortoise of St. Helena just became the oldest known land animal, recently celebrating his 187th birthday.

as Cyclone Trevor delivers their first rainfall in over a year. For some children, this is their first time ever seeing rain.

Peter Tabichi, a teacher in Kenya, regularly donates most of his salary (80%, to be Spring break teen Joshua Caraway goes viral for taking initiative and cleaning up a Miami beach which had

Drought-ravaged Western Queensland, Australia, has received much-needed relief

exact) to the poor residing in the remote village of Pwani. On Sunday, he won a $1 million global prize in Dubai – looks like karma is real.

been polluted and trashed by fellow rowdy university students.

Tia Taggart, a Lancashire girl diagnosed with cancer, received over 3,000 birthday cards on her 10th birthday. This all started when her parents noticed how much she loved receiving ‘get well soon’ cards while in hospital, so they sent out an online plea asking to fulfil her wishes.

John Sato, a 95-year-old Japanese-New Zealander WWII veteran, took four different buses in order to attend the anti-racism rally which was held in Aotea Square, Auckland.

18-year-old invents bra that can detect early signs of breast cancer. After

watching his mother suffer from breast cancer, Julian created a bra that uses biosensors to detect data such as the increased temperature associated with tumours.

The Jakobshavn glacier in Greenland - one the world’s (previously) fastest-melting ice glaciers - is finally growing again due to lower A Muslim charity donated $5,000 USD in order to repair vandalism damages to a Jewish cemetery in Massachusetts. The letter was addressed from “Muslim Americans nationwide to our Jewish cousins” – proving that religious difference is no excuse for unkindness.

ocean temperatures as found by a NASA study.

Babsy, a cat who went missing for 9 years, was finally reunited with her owner Mike Marshall in Bridgend, Wales.

College student praised for stopping a sexual assault. A

‘A Doll Like Me’ set up so children with disabilities can see themselves. The dolls are custom-made for children with missing limbs, albinism, burn scars...you name it.

survivor of sexual assault herself, Adrianna Branin saw six men who were photographing and touching an incapacitated, partially disrobed woman. She made the men delete the photos and helped get the woman home safely. 13

TOP 10 21st Venues.

It’s time to knock it off with choosing the same tired old venues and get a little more creative. The Don - Live, breathe, and (figuratively) die at uni by getting absolutely fucking lethal at the Don.

DIMINUTIVE POST

At the dump - Fit right in with the other trash. Chipmunks - How fucking fun would the ball pit be with 150 of your closest friends? In the shower - Steamy...jokes. It’s just you. Because you have no friends.

‘Fitspo’ Second Year Continues to Try and Become an Instagram Influencer Sarah, 19, is on a quest for social media fame by accepting every swimwear discount offered to her through the DMs. “Yeah, I’m at UniRec every day of the week, so I’ve definitely got what it takes!” She’s sure to be our next Hamilton star, so watch this space.

On a farm in Matamata - Be true to your humble Waikato roots. Just make sure to warn the ladies not to wear heels to this one. Or, y’know, just watch them faceplant in some cow shit. In the Outback toilets - If the Outback itself is too expensive to hire, why not just cram into the bathroom, for free? Bonus - cry, you’ll meet some new friendly drunk girls who’ll totally join in. In an airplane - At least they have free booze and those little vomit baggies all ready to go. In the library - Fuck the rules. (Although actually, sshhh, just try and keep the noise down. Whispered speeches only.) At the bus stop - People will stick around for 15 minutes max and then they’ll sort their own ride and go the fuck home. Victoria St Subway on Saturday at 3am - All your best munters are guaranteed to be there at that exact time, so there’s no need to worry about no-shows. 14

Spike in Alcohol Purchasing as Uni Break Draws Close The last week of classes has seen student expenses being primarily spent on alcohol at the numerous Hamilton East liquor stores. Overwhelming reasoning behind this has been summarised quite succinctly by Matt, 21, saying “nothing that important happens in the last week mate, the boys are on!”

CRUSH OF THE WEEK Sleep The end of daylight savings and the conclusion of the first half of semester combine to give us the perfect excuse for catching a bit of shut-eye. It’s not as if we go to class anyway, but now we can take a nap or two without the shame of our lecturer calling us out on Panopto to the only four students who decided to show up to class. An added bonus - the extra hours of darkness Mother Nature give us as we head into our winter months. A comfy bed adorned with your fave warm blankie to snuggle up with sets the scene perfectly for a nice guilt-free doze - you’ve earned it.

WHAT'S HOT

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

MULLET OF THE WEEK (PART 2): Tui

. Someone air dropping lizard pics to your whole lecture

. Mushroom foraging on campus đ&#x;?&#x201E; . Buying a round of drinks on overdraft . Having road cones in the house to flex your dominance

. One week til the break đ&#x;&#x2DC;ą . Having duck island ice cream for dinner

Nexus: Can you describe that mullet community for us a bit better? Tui: So, the mullet community stems back through a long line of munters from all over New Zealand. Jamie: Long neck VB drinkers. Tui: It definitely started in New Zealand, not America. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s commonly mistaken. Yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;know, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been passed down through the generations, and you gotta keep the mullet alive!

WHAT'S NOT

Interview was conducted at one of Waikatoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most infamous mullet breeding grounds, the Morrinsville rugby club. It had been a big day of footy and these mulleted folk had put in some serious mahi.

Nexus: Will you describe your relationship with your mullet? Tui: My relationship with my mullet is almost as good as the relationship with my missus. We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fight often, but when we do itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not pretty. Nexus: This is for both of you fellas. Have you become better rugby players since youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve gotten the mullets? Tui: Four from four today. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m putting it all down to the mullet. Jamie: The mullets are definitely going to get us through the finals. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s definitely been a journey, but aerodynamics. And it protects your back and neck from sunrays, so itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a health benefit as well.

PASS THE

AUX

CRYING IN THE LIBRARY CORNER

. WINZ office security guards having a punch up on shift

. Momento fucking up your order

and having to wait an hour for an undercooked burger

. Dickhead Hamilton City Councillors . When you get stopped by airport

security for a suspicious looking tooth brush in your carry on

. Kids spitting when they blow out birthday candles

đ&#x;&#x2122;&#x201E;

. Losing your virginity before marriage đ&#x;&#x2122;&#x2026;

Spotify: nexusmag

Fuck School Yung Dove

UGH! The 1975

I Don't Wanna Do This Anymore XXXTENTACION

Stop Crying Your Heart Out Oasis

This Shit Is Bananas Mr Rich and The Caretaker

Gotta Get My Shit Together Fearless Leader 15

REO TAUIRA Tikanga Tip - Drinking Etiquette Every year we see a new lot of bright-eyed students, freshly departed from the safety of home and out into the big wide world of University - so young, so full of potential! But just like Mike Hosking to a racist comment, it’s inevitable that most of you young hooligans will cross paths with booze. And let’s face it, even though you may talk quite the big game, the drinking needs a bit of work. But don’t worry, we have your back! Between Nathan’s SLIGHTLY olderness from too many gap years and Kyla’s don’t-give-a-fuck Hokiangatanga, we can teach you how to drink responsibly and make sure your party etiquette is on point. Clean as you go: There are differing levels of hangovers but one thing is for certain: there will be mess. Clean as you go and the next day clean up won’t be as hard as it could be. It’s like a ‘water and Panadol on your bedside table’ type scenario that you’ll thank yourself later for. Don’t be that luggage flatmate that makes the mess, gets shitfaced, and is hung the whole next day. It’s not Cinderella who cleans up after you, it’s most probably your pissed off flatties. Recycle: On behalf of most party hosts, canned drinks are the way to go. Renters don’t have the convenience of the halls recycle bins (or do we…) so we’re left getting rid of the recycling for weeks post-party since no one wants to make the trip allllll the way to Frankton to dispose of it all at once. Bottles take up sooooo much space in the recycling bin, whereas cans can be squashed to the point that you left no trace! Know your limit: It’s all good to be a lightweight; in fact, many people claim it as a cost-effective magic power so they don’t have to buy many drinks. Just make sure that you spread your lightweightedness throughout the night so you don’t get silly. There’s nothing wrong with being the guy that snuck home early; it’s a much better label than the guy that spewed on the carpet and coma’d out. 16

Don’t be a Wreck-It-Ralph: Nobody likes a bill from their rental agency (yes halls ressies, we get fined in real life too). And if your go-to party house stops hosting because of damages to their property, then you’re shit outta luck ‘til someone else starts hosting. Easiest way to stop your alcohol-infused agro: find a new drink that doesn’t turn you into the hulk. Serious! This fact may or may not have been scientifically proven but I once heard a first year say “vodka turns me into an angry man” and I was pretty proud that I didn't have to deal with that one. Always be prepared: Never be the person that shows up to a party scabbing drinks off everyone. If you can’t afford to drink, keep yo’ ass at home! There’s probably someone who forfeited a couple of meals to be able to buy their box, so let them enjoy it. In addition, make sure you have your ID, your wallet, and some town gears - even though sober you may not have wanted to go out, drunk you may have different ideas, so be ready for any situation. Be polite: If you’re going to someone else’s house, always go and meet the owners of the whare. Ultimately, they make the rules: if they say shoes off, start unlacing! If they say go home, then you better gaaap! But if you hit it off and don’t act like a dick then chances are you’ll find yourself with a FB invite to the next party. Have fun: Don’t be a ‘filler’ that just takes up space at a party coz you’re too busy text-fighting with bae. Get out there and meet some people! There’s two easy ways to do this: firstly, make sure that you have some decent bants - asking about the weather ain’t gonna get you very far. Secondly, join in on a party game, or better yet, teach some people one of your own. Everyone loves adding new drinking games to their stockpile and it will also get you nice and primed for a kanikani in town. Uber is your mate: An $8 uber to town can seem like a lot when you think you’re invincible enough to drive after only having a “few,” but there’s no price for life. Not paying that $8 might just put your whānau back at least $8k if something were to happen to you. Show off that you have data and money when you book and pay for an uber. Don’t show off thinking you’re a shit hot drunk driver. Yours truly, The Prez & Vice-Prez Māori.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

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Random Pay Chart Jobs that Pin Down the Bad Guys Police Officer - 1 to 4 years' experience can earn between $55k to $60k, while more than 4 years' experience can range from $60k to $119k.

UNDER EMPLOYED

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NEXUS NOTES Delivereasy is currently hiring in Hamilton & Tauranga, so if you're looking for a flexible job cruising the streets, send us a line at drivers@delivereasy. co.nz with your best pitch.

Clinical psychologist - ranges anywhere between $60-$102k.

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STUDY BREAKS

+ HOW TO USE THEM WISELY

So, you’ve made it through the first seven weeks of 2019’s A Semester; well done! Whether you’ve survived as a fresher, you’re a third year that’s just hanging on because you’ve already come too far, or you’re anywhere in-between, this first mid-semester break is sure to be well deserved. But is there ever really such a thing as a holiday during university? Fuck no. It’s merely a trick to lull you into a false sense of security, reassuring you that you'll have a couple of weeks up your sleeve to get shit done. Take it from us - shit is never done. There’s always something just about to pop its wee head around the corner, so let’s take the time to get prepared, shall we?

EARN SOME MOOLA If you really want a solid excuse for procrastinating, pick up a few shifts at work, or maybe try and find a job in the first place. If you’re not going to spend these precious days off working tirelessly towards earning a degree, why not do something that will still add to your CV and make you look semi-employable? Plus, the extra cash in the bank account can’t hurt.

GROW THE FUCK UP 18

MAKE A P

It’s time to whip out needs to be done w essay is due and just watch, and fucking a down and make a lis plan to use at least s doing it. This sucks, exactly how much sl next two weeks, or h you can rewatch bef

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PRIORITISE Once you’ve got your plan, it’s time to put some wheels in motion. Even if you’re a disorganised piece of shit like me, do your best to make a rough plan of when you’re going to do what. Due first = do first. Depending on how much stuff you’ve gotta pack in, I recommend dividing into mornings and arvos. These can be split into pure subject study, some household chores, or specific assignment aims - it’s also a great way to plan some catch ups with mates so you don’t go fully mad.

PLAN

t the old calendar and work out what when. Figure out when that pesky t how many Panoptos you need to answer the group project chat. Sit st of everything you need to do, and some of the next two weeks actually but once it’s done, you can map out leep you can catch up on over the how many series of Game of Thrones fore classes start again.

ROUTINE She’s all about practice, life is. While it’s tempting as fuck to sleep in til 2 every day before getting on it with the lads, this is not going to be appreciated by your body or brain - particularly when it comes to heading back to class. Try to consistently get up and go to sleep at the same time, before getting into your plan for the day. This doesn’t mean you have to study the same shit every day; rather, it means your body might find it a tad easier to get out of bed when your Monday morning lecture rolls around since you’ve been making the effort to get up by 10 each day. Obviously, the occasional night on the rark might throw this off a wee bit, but it’s all about the attitude! Take the time to instill some good habits before you make it to full-time employment and get fired for being late every fucking day.

GETTING OUT + ABOUT While I do have a habit about banging on about study and keeping on top of shit, it’s also important we remember to get out of our study space and into the real world every now and then. Have lunch with some friends, check out the op-shop scene around town, take a day trip or two! Whether you’re all about getting those As or you’re just here so you don’t have to get a fulltime job, there is a need for some outside time. Make an effort to keep in touch with friends so you don’t completely isolate yourself - it comes in handy when you need some assignment notes, or just someone to cry to while you watch Ratatouille and eat ice cream.

At the end of the day, life is all about balance. Yes, you’re at university to get a piece of paper with your name on it that’s worth about $20k, but it’s also probably the last time of our lives that we’ll get regular two-week breaks, and won’t be expected to wake up before 10am. Use this beauty of a break to get a jump on some work (or just catch up on those late assignments), but also make sure to take a damn break from uni. Your work will still be there after a day trip or two to Raglan or the Mount, so try not to feel too much pressure. Basically, what we’re trying to say is that, whatever ever you do this mid-sem break, make sure it’s a tad more than lying in bed all day watching Netflix. 19

D I L VA Bongo Sushi Obviously ya sis didn’t get this thiiicck from eating carrot sticks, no, no. Although I’m all for looking after your hauora (health), I’m also a sucker for anything that gives me foodgasms (orgasms in your mouth – don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about. We’re all adults here). So I got a few ideas of what everyone else likes to put in their mouth…at Bongo Sushi, of course, and tried ‘em myself. Here it is fam; your guide to taking your taste buds on a proverbial rollercoaster ride through Bongo Sushi’s extensive range of tasty morsels. Sesame Seaweed - 4/5 Looks a little like radioactive whitebait but daaayum did this one taste good! If you usually stick to simple flavours and textures, this one might be a jump in the deep end with the overpowering sesame flavour. The downside to this one is that the little bastard is hard to pick up and hard to get the whole thing to stay together. It’s messy, I’ll just say that. Teriyaki Salmon - 3/5 I’m not really a big seafood fan. Well, I’m potentially a seafood snob as I only eat seafood my Dad cooks me (he’s perfected tempura fish bites fam - no lie). This, however, pleasantly surprised me. It’s nicely coated in teriyaki sauce and doesn’t have that strong fishy taste some fish can tend to have. Apparently that’s how you know its fresh fam! Buuuut it is a mission to pick up and get in your mouth. 20

Vege Dumpling - 5/5 I was skeptical about this as sometimes deep fried food left out for a bit can end up soggy or have a stale texture, but this did not disappoint. Even for about midday, it was still crispy on the outside then I bit into a delightfully fresh, zesty whirlwind of flavours. Fuck knows what was in it, I’m not Gordon Ramsay whānau but it’s probably the best tasting piece in this review. Also super easy to pick up, too! Salmon and Avocado - 2/5 Do I really need to tell you what this was like? It was basic. As fuck. Not too exciting on the flavour front but it was popular so I guess it floats a few boats around campus. Vege Pancake with Mayo - 2/5 I had high hopes for this one as almost anything deep fried with mayo is my jaaaaayum. BUT unfortunately, this didn’t tickle my fancy. It had been deep fried a bit too much and was a little on the soggy side with all the oil soaked into it. Like a few of the others, with pieces on top that weren’t properly attached to the rice at the bottom, it was hard to pick up. Deep Fried Prawn with Seafood Sauce - 3/5 Another seafood one so I was skeptical again, but it got the tick of approval for taste, texture AND it was easy to pick up and get in my mouth. Let’s be honest, when you’re hungry you don’t want to muck around with picking up one half of the sushi piece, then the other. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Teriyaki Tofu - 4/5 Ok I’m no vegan, nor am I a huge fan of vegan food but for those who are, this one should be on the top of your list! The teriyaki really complimented the creamy tofu texture and flavour. I was able to enjoy it quickly as it stayed together when I picked it up and well, I was left wanting another. Flame Seared Wagyu - 2/5 Who the fuck knew that this fancy shit existed? From the name, it sounds like it’s going to be off the radar delish, but it was a very western piece of sushi tbh fam. Great texture and easy to chew beef, but the only flavours I got were salty beef and rice. It was fancy but not flavoursome, sadly.

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Spicy Chicken Inari - 4/5 Ok. Flavour. Fucking. Explosion. It’s definitely top of the pile. The spice is mild and the sweet inari compliments it well; it’s also easy to pick up as the contents stays in the pocket. Shit, need I say more? Crumbed Cream Cheese - 5/5 Whole. Lee. Faaaarrk. I thought it looked strange and sounded very western for sushi. But the flavours in this piece with a little soy sauce had me feeling some type of way. I was definitely experiencing all kinds of happiness deep in my core - who knew a piece of sushi could do this to me? I’m not sure if I’m allowed to describe it in Nexus but all I can say is I felt the need to put on Chris Brown’s Take You Down or some Marvin Gaye...ya feel me? Hot Chips - 3/5 Well, I know it’s not sushi but ya sis is forever broke out here. The extent my of my Bongo Sushi knowledge prior to this was honestly the $2.80 hot chips with a shit tonne of Japanese mayo poured across it. Fills you up and fits within your budget when you’re on the go whānau.

They see me rollin…(my sushi) Sushi is a superfood. It’ll give you extended life, x-ray vision, and majorly impress Aunty Karen at your mum’s next “bring a plate” family do. It looks like a pain in the arse to make, but it’s actually pretty simple, and the bonus of making it yourself is that you can steer clear of that pineapple and cream cheese shit and only make the fillings you like. Ingredients Sushi rice (aka glutinous short grain rice) Sushi rice seasoning (see below) Nori sheets Fillings, sliced thinly (e.g. avocado, marinated tofu, capsicum, carrot, cucumber, meat (if you must) Garnishes of choice - soy sauce, kewpie mayo, sliced ginger, wasabi Method First up you need to prepare your rice, and you want that to be stickier than the floor of Bar101 at 3am. You can cook it two ways - the absorption method, or the rapid boil. Absorption’s probably better, but nobody got time fo’ that. Just put plenty of water in the pot and boil the crap out of it till it’s soft. If you do go for the absorption method, don’t wander off - you’ll burn it. The directions are on the rice packet. Now you need to make your rice sticky and tasty. You can buy sushi rice seasoning powder, which is waaaay easier. Otherwise you’ll need rice vinegar (no, malt won’t work), sugar and salt in the right proportions. Drain your rice well and mix the seasoning through, and leave the rice to cool. Lay out a nori sheet and cover it with a THIN layer of sushi rice, leaving about a centimetre with no rice on it. Lay your fillings on the top and DON’T OVERFILL. Some people use a bamboo rolling mat, but you don’t need it. Just roll the filled nori tightly away from you, towards the bit with no rice. Dampen the bare nori with a bit of warm water (or spit on it, if it’s just for you), and seal your sushi roll. If you want to get all fancy, use a sharp knife to slice the roll into sushi-sized pieces, discarding the ragged ends. Or just dunk that sucker in the soy sauce and eat it as it. Itadakimasu! 21

NEXUS INTERPRETS YOUR DREAMS Welcome to the space where your recurring dream themes are met with a highly accurate (and totally not bs) interpretation. Here at Nexus, we like to provide that frantic brain of yours with a little intel and whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what; therefore, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve come up with some of your common dream elements through the research medium of Instagram question stickers. Before I subject you all to any shameless plug, here you have it: what your dreams are made of. Disclaimer: These interpretations may hold no significant meanings (spiritual, religious or otherwise) and each are subject to the construction of your own personal dreamscapes.

Mayyah Gordon

sumayyah@nexusmag.co.nz

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The Chase (Not a game show) Whether you’ve been dashing from law enforcement, a masked killer or that stalker ex of yours, being chased in your dream state could allude to your subconscious mind hinting that things are finally catching up with you. Whether that is looming deadlines or bills, maybe a good prioritisation session will do your subconscious mind some good in elevating any underlying anxiety. Flying High A classic; the slumber equivalent to real-life escapism. Fantasies of soaring through the clouds obviously pinpoint to how high on life your standard of living makes you feel. The Introspective Awakening Those goals you ponder aloud or in a conscious mindset often occur as dreams just to tug on those aspiration strings. These plans and ideas constructed in reality which frequent your dreams can act as reinforcers to preconceived ideas flitting around that head of yours, and perhaps may shed light on how you are to go about it. These bad boys are the motivational drivers of every fruition-ist’s literal dreams. Baby Bump Whether you’re a male or female, giving birth or being pregnant within a dream may not necessarily be divine revelation that you're actually expecting. Instead, consider it as a sign of a personal rebirthing of sorts - something new, fun and fresh might just be around the corner. Look for areas to expand your physical and mental boundaries in affirmation of this personal growth dream. Nutty in the Nude So you’ve been pinned with indecent exposure in dreamland, except no one seems to notice. This one could point to a sense of vulnerability or fear of personal exposure, and if you are a first year, then I don’t blame you. Although trust me, no one sees you; we’re all too busy stressing.

Snake In the Grass Frequented with cinematic snippets of snakes slithering through the grass in dreamland? Could be more than an unconscious, phobia-induced experience, and that there is an actual threat lurking in your personal life. Keep those friends close and...well, your intuition gets the gist. The Enigmatic Descent from The Heavens Clearly, you’ve fallen from grace - which could translate to the good graces of particular people within your inner circle. Take this one as a sign that maybe you’ve been too wrapped up with your head in the clouds to notice what has been happening around you, and perhaps it’s time to reconnect with those closest to you. Better yet, have a wee scroll through the camera roll to figure out at exactly what stage of the night you mucked up last weekend. Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy Dreams of waking up stranded in the highlands, half-naked and mounted with a travel pack aren’t exactly common, but they do carry the significance of adventure. With the semester break a few short lectures away, this dream may come as an incentive to take that dusty duffel bag out for a cheeky frolic - or just crack on to those longer assignments with all that free time like the rest of us. The Prosecution So you’ve found yourself in your dream, in a room with your parents, your best mate, your old kindy teacher and an ex-neighbour from when you used to live in Palmy. The atmosphere is tense, you keep your mouth shut in a bid to keep the scent of that stale bourbon concoction from your latest Tuesday sesh hitting the open air. It’s fair game and Mum reckons you’re a lost cause at this stage of the semester. We call this the intervention of dreams and in a way, it’s a little comforting to know you were the first to realise that your life is spiralling, rather than that fact leading to actual intervention.

Christchurch band, nomad, have been jetting off all over the world, playing gigs left, right, and centre for the last few years. They stole our hearts in high school and ever since, we’ve been eagerly waiting for new music and some more kiwi gigs. This week, we got to have a chat with Will, Aasha, and Cullen to get the inside scoop on their sound, their style, and their plans from here. Nexus: First of all, congrats on the stellar career so far - you guys are killing it! When you first started, you were still in high school. How do you feel now compared to way back then? Appreciate the kind words! Things have changed for sure, in some ways. For the most part we're still just the same personalities and roles within the band that we were when we were 15! I think the biggest change is being confident in our identity and the music we want to create - we back ourselves now. Nexus: Has creating music always been the goal for you guys, or did you have some burgeoning businessmen hiding within? Nope, it's always been music for us. We enjoy it too much to consider doing other things at this point! Unless of course the businessman is still hiding away in someone somewhere... Nexus: So a name is definitely a huge part of a band’s image! How did you guys come up with the name ‘nomad’? So although I agree that a band name is super important, funnily enough ours had little meaning when we first came up with it. We were transitioning into becoming a more serious band early on and we decided it was time for a name change. We began writing down awful names on our notes app on our phones until that one came along. Thankfully it did because there were some solid 2/10 band names being thrown around. Nexus: You guys seem to be jetting off overseas for another tour every time we look! If you had to pick, what’s been the career highlight to date? Our favourite gig was in Hessen in Germany, playing to 13,000 on a beautiful summer evening. The German fans were instantly so cool and supportive to us. Nexus: We’ve seen you playing a part in festivals and gigs all around the world over the last few years! Where to from here? Is there a full New Zealand tour in the works, by any chance? We'd love to do another New Zealand tour! We’re starting to miss Wellington, we haven't played there in a little while and we love it. Always such amazing turnouts and good crowds. Nexus: Have you got any crazy fan stories to share with us? We wouldn’t call it a “crazy” fan story, but definitely ‘committed!’ We recently had a fan follow us around our German shows, and then continue to follow us to London… And then continue to 26

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follow us back home to New Zealand a few months later. We were all quite excited and honoured that someone enjoyed our music that much, and did that for us. Nexus: How do the New Zealand crowds stack up against those from overseas? Honestly, we just love to perform, to any crowd. I guess it’s not really until afterwards that we would start to pick apart these little things that the crowd did, how hard they danced, or how loud they sung along. But there is something quite special about playing to our peers, playing in-front of crowds who usually know our music always makes the job that much easier. So I would say that the crowds we’ve played in front of in NZ really do stack up against those from overseas. Nexus: Your first album, Can You Feel It? came out last year, and it’s bloody brilliant! What have you been working on lately? We hear there’s a particularly exciting new single to look out for... We’ve actually been writing more than we ever have been in the last 6 months, so we have a lot of new songs in the books right now. And yes we do, one of the first songs we wrote since the album and we are all incredibly excited to share this one with everyone. I don’t know if I’m allowed to release the title of the track, but it’s called She’s Getting Away! Nexus: You describe your sound as indie-pop - can you tell us a bit about your musical inspirations? Harmonies have always ruled our priority in terms of how we sound. Instrumentation is always secondary. We listen a lot to Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, The Beach Boys, Simon and Garfunkel etc for ideas on vocal harmonies. For instrumental inspiration we turn to M83, Phoenix, Empire of The Sun, The War on Drugs and so many more. Nexus: You’ve got some super odes to romance in your repertoire, such as your smashing hit Oh My My. Is there usually a lucky lady in mind when writing a sweet track like that? There's been a few! But it’s funny, we tend to crush on girls we don't actually know that well so that makes it easy to romanticise things. Nexus: If you could collaborate with any artist or group, who would it be? That's a hard one! Phoenix would be definitely be up there, we've been huge fans of theirs for a while and love their sound. Nexus: You guys definitely have a flair for style - any particular fashion icons you could name for us? Matty Healy from the 1975 is a fashion icon for sure. There's also a band called the Lemon Twigs who have the sickest vintage clothes! Nexus: One last question - best NZ music festival? Check They out Lost Tribe Aotearoa onand Spotify, Youtube, Probably Homegrown. always treat you well always Facebook and Instagram (@losttribeaotearoa) a sell-out. 27

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Madeleine McCann: the 3-year old English girl who vanished from her bedroom without a trace in Portugal, 2007. Nearly 12 years on, we still don’t know know anymore about what happened than we did back then. There are few (if any) missing child cases in history marked by as much media attention, and longevity in the short attention span of the public as that of Madeleine McCann’s disappearance. We’re talking about potentially the most enduring news story of the century. With all of the controversy surrounding the new Netflix documentary series about the case, we figured Nexus should give the investigation a crack in a bid to help out Scotland Yard and the Portuguese police, who really just can’t seem to work it out. We’ve been digging through the facts to assess each possible theory and conclude on the most likely scenario to explain how she went missing - pour through the investigation and see what you think.

Facts of the case:

. Kate and Gerry McCann, a GP and cardiologist from the

UK, were on holiday in Portugal with with their 3-year old daughter Madeleine and 2-year old twins, Sean and Amelie. The McCanns stayed in apartment 5A at the Ocean Club Resort in the small beach town of Praia da Luz. They were accompanied by seven friends. There were 8 young children of similar ages between the group, including Madeleine and her siblings.

. The McCanns left their three children sleeping in their

two-bedroom, ground-floor resort apartment at 20:30 on May 3, 2007, while they ate at a Tapas restaurant in the resort with their friends – who did the same with their own children – as they had done for four evenings prior. The restaurant was approx. 77 metres away from the McCann’s apartment. The group of parents had a system of taking turns checking on their own children every 20-30 minutes, and occasionally checking on the children of the other parents.

. The McCann’s apartment was right beside a public road. Walking from the restaurant to the apartment required walking along this road. The patio back door was closed but unlocked so the McCanns could run their checks. Gerry checked the room at around 9pm and confirmed all of his children were sleeping in their bedroom.

. Kate intended to check the room at 9:30pm, but

Matthew Oldfield – one of their friends – offered to do it as he was going to check on his own children. Oldfield saw the twins breathing but did not look far enough

to see if Madeleine was there. He observed that the McCann’s door was wide open. He recalls hearing a noise which sounded like a child turning over in bed.

. At about 10pm, Kate returned to the apartment. Kate

entered the bedroom and discovered Madeleine was missing, with her Cuddle Cat toy and blanket still on her bed. She claims the window was open. After a brief search, Kate ran back to the restaurant, screaming “They’ve taken her!”

. At a later date, sniffer dogs detected the scent of human cadaver (corpse) and blood in the apartment behind the sofa, in the wardrobe of the parent’s bedroom, on several items of Kate’s clothing, and in the boot of the McCann’s rental car, which was hired 25 days after Madeleine vanished.

. Nearly 13 years later, after about 12 million pounds

spent on the investigation and over 8,000 potential sightings of Madeleine, the case (Operation Grange) remains unsolved and we still do not know what happened to Madeleine that night, or whether she is still alive. Madeleine would be turning 16 on May 12 of this year. Madeleine’s parents have vowed to search for her for the rest of their lives.

Theories on Madeleine’s disappearance Madeleine was targeted, abducted and taken for sex trafficking. Portugal has been a big target for trafficking, as abducted children can be shipped overseas with ease to North Africa or Spain in a matter of hours. Jane Tanner, a friend of the McCanns, saw a man carrying a sleeping child near the apartment on the night in question, and this became a major focus of the initial investigation as it was hypothesised to be Madeleine and her abductor. However, in 2013, this sighting was dismissed - a British tourist carrying his child back from the night creche at the resort identified as the man Tanner had seen, and his daughter’s pyjamas matched those described in Tanner’s report. Martin and Mary Smith saw a man carrying a child towards the beach at around 10pm, which they thought could’ve been Madeleine. Speculations arose as illustrations of the man they saw bore likeness with Gerry, but too many witnesses place him at the resort, so it could not have been him. Additionally, it seems unlikely that an

abductor would have walked with Madeleine for such a distance where they could’ve been spotted. Numerous other reports of sketchy characters hanging around the resort have been filed, but none have amounted to any substantial evidence. Another one of the more well-known sightings occurred in Morocco six days after Madeleine’s disappearance. A British couple, Ray Pollard and Mari Olli - who did not know of the case at the time - claimed they saw a sad looking young blonde girl in blue pyjamas who asked a man ‘Can we see mummy now?’ at a petrol station. When the couple watched a tv news report that night, they recognised Madeleine as the girl they saw that day; however, the CCTV tapes from the petrol station had already been taped over, so the sighting was never ratified. If she was taken by traffickers, why her, and why – as pointed out by former Scotland Yard detective Colin Sutton – not her younger sister or brother who would have no memory of a previous life? Investigative crime profiler Pat Brown believed it was “extremely unlikely” that a sex trafficking ring would have abducted Madeleine, as children could more easily be taken from poor areas or drug addicted parents. “They’re not going to steal a British tourist from a holiday resort because they know that will prompt a major investigation into them." Madeleine was abducted and possibly killed by a local paedophile. The Daily Telegraph reported that there had been an unusually high number of assaults on young girls in Praia da Luz and many known sex offenders in the Algarve around the time of Madeleine’s disappearance. Clarence Mitchell - who represented the McCanns in the media - believes Madeleine’s disappearance is due to a rare case of stranger abduction. A note was left at the Tapas restaurant showing that the McCanns’ group had block-booked at the tapas restaurant for the week, citing this was because the families were leaving the children to sleep in the apartments. This note could have been seen by a perpetrator. Some investigators have pointed out that paedophiles rarely risk breaking in to a building to get a child. Sutton maintains that the abduction was unlikely to be a random snatch by a predatory paedophile, as he has never heard of “any other other opportunistic abduction of a girl so young.” He speculates it was more 30

likely a pre-planned abduction by a trafficking ring or theorised that Madeleine was paid for and stolen by a couple who wanted to replace a young daughter who had passed away. Kate and Gerry accidentally killed Madeleine by giving her an overdose of sedatives, most likely Calpol, to help her sleep while they had dinner at the restaurant. The abduction story was a façade and the parents hid her corpse in a freezer before transporting it in the car boot three weeks later and concealing it in a secret location. It struck as odd that Kate yelled “They’ve taken her” as she left the apartment. In her shock it’s understandable that she assumed Madeleine was abducted right away, but who are “they,” when it could have been one person? The next day, Kate told child protection services worker Yvonne Martin that Madeleine had been abducted by a couple. With no leads, how would she know? Kate was videoed demonstrating her check of the children on the night in question. She claims that she noticed the children’s bedroom door was wide open, went to close it further, and then it slammed shut as if from a draught of air, which made her think to look in the room. So if that hadn’t happened, she wouldn’t have actually checked on her children at all? It seems abnormal behaviour for a parent who would instinctively want to confirm that their children are in bed; but then, perhaps she’s not the maternal type. While the search was happening, McCanns told their friends back in the UK that an intruder had "broken" "smashed" and "jemmied" the shutters in the children bedroom before taking Madeleine out through the window. However, there were clearly no signs of forced entry or damage to the windows. Veteran investigative journalist Danny Collins asserted that the metal shutters were “impossible to lever upwards more than 1-2cm”. Either the McCanns were outright lying to blame somebody else, or perhaps they made a assumption which is fair enough - that someone had broken in and slightly exaggerated the details. Furthermore, the twins dozed for 6 hours straight following Madeleine’s disappearance, despite the number of people yelling, screaming and walking through the apartment. This led people to speculate that the children had been sedated, either by the McCanns or by an intruder. Brown said that upon analysing Madeleine’s case, the “evidence does not support an abduction” and Madeleine most likely died in an acceded “occurring

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for falsifying evidence on a different case, so his word may no be the most reliable. Plus, there are suspicions the Portuguese Polícia Judiciária were biased with their desire to blame the McCanns; after all, the whole scenario was a bad look for tourism in the area. Kate only answered 1 out of 49 questions from the police, declining to answer the rest after she was made an ‘arguido’ (formal suspect). Kate believed being treated as a suspect was distracting them from the search for Madeleine and invoked her right to remain silent.

. . . .

through neglect and possible medication”. The ex-police chief initially in charge of the investigation, Gonçalo Amaral, (sacked for criticising British detectives) even published a book called The Truth of the Lie in which he alleged that Madeleine died in the apartment. Amaral told a Portuguese magazine that “they belong to the upper-middle class and the British do not like their doctors to mess up abroad and get convicted for it.” He believes that Madeleine’s body was cremated in a church nearby by her parents. However, his personal bias may have been in defending his reputation after being sacked from the case, not to mention his interest in the hundreds and thousands of pounds in book sales. While he is one of the most prominent figures condemning the McCanns, Amaral was later convicted

Out of the 49 questions Kate McCann refused to answer, here are some of the most thought-provoking: Why did you say Madeleine had been abducted? Assuming Madeleine was abducted, why did you leave the twins to go to the ‘Tapas’ and raise the alarm? The supposed abductor could still be in the apartment. Why did the twins not wake up during that search or when they were taken upstairs? Did you know the danger of calling the media, because it could influence the abductor? The Portuguese police believed the parents were guilty because the sniffer dogs detected the scent of blood and death in the apartment, which could be explained by the McCanns attempting to conceal Madeleine’s body. However, the dogs are not entirely accurate, and their sensitive noses could’ve been picking up on scents from before the McCanns stayed at the apartment; the dog handler himself, Martin Grimes, said that dog alerts cannot stand alone as proof if there is no evidence to corroborate them. The McCanns rented the car 3 weeks after Madeleine’s disappearance, so they couldn’t have concealed Madeleine’s body there straight away unless they had stored her body before putting it in the car. In the warmth of Portugal, the body would’ve needed to be stored in some kind of refrigerator to stop it decomposing and beginning to smell. The pungency of human decomposition surely would have been noticed. Plus, the McCanns were watched by journalists and locals all day, every day in their hundreds as the case soared in media attention. How could they possibly have stored and hidden a corpse without being noticed? It would be incredibly brazen of the McCanns to have pressed the investigation so strongly in the media and for so long if they were guilty. If you were in the wrong, wouldn’t you feel quite happy to let the case slide out of the public eye rather than press it so actively in the media, given the infamously short attention span of the media? 31

The McCanns sold their daughter for trafficking and organised for her abduction. The friends may have been in on it. Martin, who was at the resort, recognised one of the McCann’s friends, David Payne, from her work in child services. She wrote to the British police expressing her concern that the parents were involved in Madeleine’s disappearance. All the families on the vacation had young children, they were friends from university, 6 of the 7 were doctors, and it must have been difficult to get the same holidays. The organisation must have been horrific. They would have the budget to go anywhere – why this random small Portuguese town, which isn’t a particularly well-known tourist destination? John Stalker, former British detective, shares his gut instinct is that “some big secret is probably being covered up”. Madeleine left the apartment in search of her parents and was abducted or killed while walking along the road in order to reach the Tapas restaurant. On the morning of her disappearance, Madeleine asked her parents where they were the night previously and why they didn’t come when she cried. Just under the age of 4, Madeleine would have been capable of opening and closing doors and gates on her way to find her parents, and she was aware of the location of the restaurant which was beside the resort’s pool complex. Collins believes that Madeleine had been found on the street, abducted and then used to extract a ransom. When the case skyrocketed in the media, Madeleine may have even been sold to Romany gypsies. However, the chances of a predator being present at the very moment Madeleine was walking alongside the public road to get to her parents (which was, after all, a fairly short walk), who just so happened to be attracted to a girl of her age, seems improbable. There are theories about Madeleine falling down a well or being run over, however veering off course into the dark rather than towards the resort complex would seem unusual for a little girl searching for her parents.

Criticisms related to the case:

. It took 24 hours for the police to notify border guards

that a child was missing. In this time, Madeleine could have been driven across the Portuguese border. 32

. British police observed the apartment to be the “worst

preserved” crime scene ever. Portuguese police did not cordon off the scene early enough, allowing journalists and locals to wander the apartment in the days following Madeleine’s disappearance.

. A CCTV camera in the resort complex was not working, and another camera covering the road was never examined. These cameras could have provided the answers.

. The DNA specimens gathered from the apartment and

the car analysed by the UK’s Forensic Science Service proved inconclusive; technology was not advanced enough at the time to decode the samples. Of the 3 DNA specimens found, each were complex, and may have been a mixture of DNA from as many as 3 different people. While the DNA from the car boot was similar to Madeleine’s, high genetic similarity within families means the DNA could have come from any of the McCanns.

. The McCanns were heavily criticised for their stoic

appearance in public. Although they always ‘looked sad’, they were never seen breaking down and crying, and the way Kate always clung to Madeleine’s toy seemed exaggerated. The public accused the couple of being cold, rigid and emotionless – however, Mitchell says they were instructed to appear this way by the police, to stop the potential abductors from getting a ‘thrill’ from seeing the family upset. Their controlled appearance was in an effort to communicate effectively to the media, but trolls in the early days of social media ripped into them for it. As for the media ‘roadshow’; they were advised that the best thing they could do was to keep their case in the public eye if they hoped to find their daughter.

. Police liaison office Ricardo Paiva suspected the

McCanns, as they disobeyed police requests to keep details of Madeleine’s appearance confidential while the investigation continued. Instead, they produced a “media circus” which arose some suspicions. Investigators wanted to keep the rare colobama defect in her right eye confidential as it is a distinctive mark which could’ve led kidnappers to kill her.

. Investigators wanted to keep the rare defect in her right

eye confidential as it is a distinctive mark which could’ve led kidnappers to kill her. The McCanns disregarded this and released the photos of her with her colobama clearly visible.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

. Debate continues on whether or not the McCanns’

behaviour was neglectful. The McCanns insist they’re good parents and were checking their children regularly. However, there were babysitting services available at the resort if needed, and also, is it really responsible parenting to leave your three children unsupervised in an apartment room with an unlocked patio door in a strange foreign place which is not exactly known to be safe? Is it okay to leave your three children under the age of four in an apartment by themselves full stop?

. On May 29th, the McCanns went on a tour of Europe

to spread the message about Madeleine. They left their twins in the same town where Madeleine was abducted from, despite Kate telling the Daily Mirror the day prior that she couldn’t bear sleeping away from the twins. Would you really leave your children in the same place less than 3 weeks later and entrust their care to strangers?

. There are inconsistencies in the McCanns’ story. Gerry

claims he was away from the table for a few minutes, but one of the friends at the table claims Kate was moaning he’d been gone for a long time watching football. It could be taken that everybody was lying, which would be no small feat among 7 people, or it could be taken that people recall events in different ways, which may actually make the account more reputable.

. Matthew Oldfield checked the room and recalls that

he saw the twins breathing but did not see Madeleine, which is strange considering her bed was the closest to the door. Oldfield heard a noise that he assumed was the sound of a child turning over in bed. Could he have been there at the moment the abduction took place, without knowing it?

What does Nexus think happened?

dining away from the apartment each night without their children, observed their 20-30 minute checking routine, noticed the unlocked patio door was used to access the apartment, and collected this knowledge to plan their attack. Furthermore, goings on in the resort could be watched from the road beside the complex, so the abductor did not have to be a guest of the resort itself. The abduction and escape route were planned in accordance with observation of this routine. On the night of Madeleine’s disappearance, having watched the parents at dinner and waited until an adult had been into the apartment, the abductor would have known there would be at least 20 minutes where the children were unsupervised before the apartment was checked again. The abductor then entered the apartment by the unlocked patio door and entered the children’s bedroom. The children were administered a sedative, most likely chloroform, to ensure they did not wake. The window and shutter were possibly opened and the child was passed through the window to a second person involved in the abduction, or the abductor took Madeleine via the door heading towards the car park. A car would have been parked near the apartment for a quick escape - from there, Madeleine could have been taken anywhere. The well-crafted abduction, which occurred without a trace of evidence left behind, shows a level of control and planning rather than an impulsive predatory crime. It seems that, with the amount of risk involved, Madeleine would have been exchanged for a high price. So where is Madeleine now? If Madeleine was taken for a purpose such as replacing another child for a wealthy couple, it’s possible she is still alive. With her captors being cognisant of her international recognisability. Madeleine’s hair could be changed, her appearance could be altered, and she may be speaking a different language, all to prevent identification. Like kidnapping stories before her, it’s plausible that she has never been seen due to being hidden in a basement or similar, somewhere in the world. Otherwise, she could be living a fairly normal life, with no idea that she is Madeleine. Until a body or other concrete evidence is found, the hope she is alive must remain. After all, somebody knows what happened to Madeleine McCann.

The most plausible theory seems to be that Madeleine was observed and targeted days in advance. Anybody could have watched Madeleine at the resort and taken a creepy liking to her as a pretty, blonde, vulnerable young child. The abductor(s) would have seen the McCanns 33

Triple Frontier Movie Comedians of the World Netflix show Funny, except when it isn’t.

The star-studded cast definitely makes this film one to add to the watchlist Charlie Hunnam, Oscar Isaac, Garrett Hedlund, and Ben Affleck all together? Yes, please! It promises thrilling action as these US Special Forces vets attempt to take down a notorious Colombian drug lord, but it somewhat fails to meet expectations. Giving off Fast and Furious vibes, Triple Frontier gives you the drama, gun violence, and a perfect Hollywood interpretation of a heist in the depths of the South American jungle. Some twists here and there add a pinch of originality to the plot; otherwise, it just appeared to be another Hollywood action movie that utilises hearty violence, impossible feats, and attractive actors to reel in its viewers.

Global Warming Drama Sounds like a tropical holiday, only disastrous - coming for a town near you.

Burial

Only Shallow // Only More EP - Fragile Animals

This small indie-rock band from the Sunshine Coast in Australia have just released another EP, and boy did it blow me away. The vocals are subtly mesmerising and somehow just made me think of a day at the beach. Only Shallow // Only More is a truly diverse mix of tunes that could easily be put on for any occasion; perhaps as some background noise during a study grind, or alternatively during the makeup phase of prepping for a night out. Full of colour and beautiful melodies, this soundtrack likely has something that everyone can enjoy. I recommend you check it out.

Artist Renaissance master of the 00’s; perfect study music.

Queer Eye - Season 3 TV Series

Facebook Website World’s greatest hacker gets hacked. 34

Jonathan is as amazing as ever and cracks straight into making everyone understand how beautiful they are; their only flaw is that they need to adopt a half-decent skincare routine and get a damn haircut. Tan is back with his French tucks and impeccable hair. Bobby and Antoni continue to provide some inspo in their respective fields of expertise, using their voluminous vocabulary to make you want to sort your shit out while you binge watch til 3am. And Karamo, bless his soul, he’s still around building up some selfesteem. Nothing’s changed since the last season, or the season before that, but the Fab Five are still the sweetest little gang, bringing tears and laughter in every episode.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

because they didn't have enough team members with Te Whakahiapo filling in. I know right? Who thought you could count on law students to actually turn up to play sports?

Hakinakina

Lucky for the Māori associations on campus, I was given a real reason to miss my lectures for the day (soz Mum and Dad). On Wednesday 27th of March, all of the Māori associations congregated in the UniRec gym to show their physical dominance over each other in Netball and Dodgeball. In true fashion, Te Ranga Ngaku cheated in dodgeball on the first throw but it isn’t a sporting event where they don’t have subs for days so it didn’t really matter. Te Aka Matua hid from the chant competition, probably

NEXUS SPORTS FACT

FAKE IT

During the 1936 Berlin Olympics, two Japanese pole vaulters who tied for second place refused to participate in a tie-breaker. Upon returning to Japan, they cut their medals in half and fused them to one another so each athlete ended up with a halfsilver, half-bronze medal.

Don't know how to sport? Formula One:

. Each team has two drivers, leading to a grid of 20. . The drivers fight for a separate world championship,

Talking points

. “Lewis Hamilton is good but he’s no Schumacher”

. “They keep changing too many rules every year” . “I liked it more when there was a chance someone could get really hurt”

Five classic examples of American NBA stars being unintentionally hilarious 5. Six-time NBA Champion Scottie Pippen - "He's one of the best power forwards of all-time [sic]. I take my hands off to him." (on Tim Duncan)

3. 7ft 5 inch Lakers giant Chuck Nevitt - “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”

getting points based on where they finish.

the best driver”

Whoever was cooking the patties on the barbeque (she may have written this piece) was an absolute stunner and totally didn’t hold up the line (she really did). I truly thought Tumata Kokiri would pull through with the dub since those teachers have a paper in teaching kids how to play sports, but they just missed the mark. In the end, Te Ranga Ngaku won overall making it back to back. Congratulations to everyone who competed, and I will see you next semester.

4. Bull’s legend Dennis Rodman"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."

The Basics Formula One is the world’s richest sport where 10 car makers (“constructors”) compete for a championship across several global races.

. “It just comes down to money these days, not who is

To be fair, Te Whakahiapo are very consistent in coming in last place so it’s pretty much a lose-lose situation if you need to scavenge from them. However, they did put their analytical brains to the test by hosting this semester's event which I heard was a great success.

HIGH FIVE!

Danielle Marks danielle@nexusmag.co.nz

2. New York Knicks great Karl “Mail Man” Malone - “I ain't gonna be no escape-goat!" 1. The one and only Shaq - “I can’t really remember the names of all the clubs we went to.” (in reference to being asked whether he'd been to the Parthenon while in Greece) 35

Random Audit -

ENGEN183 - Linear Algebra + Statistics for Engineers Walking into this lecture I’m already pissed off after listening to a couple of sexist idiots talk about how dumb the girls in their class are and how they should “study education instead” (like it isn’t a difficult and extremely important career choice), so maybe this isn’t going to be the most unbiased Random Audit ever. Usually when my classes are starting, people are on their phones. In this class, they’re on their calculators. I can already tell this is going to be thrilling. The lecturer is hilarious and I already love him. Honestly, I’d rate him a 10/10 for engaging the class, but the content is so boring and no matter how good of a teacher he is, algebra is never gonna be interesting. I got excellence on the MCAT in year 11 (before I dropped out of high school in year 12) so I like to think of myself as somewhat of a mathematician; it’s not too hard to follow along with all the equations but I’m struggling to stay awake and I’m dreaming of the Bongo’s sushi I’m gonna devour after this. Looking around, all of the first-years are actually doing the equations the lecturer is writing on the screen. God, I wish I still had that kind of motivation for my degree. Ian (the lecturer) describes one of the problems as “not nice, nasty algebra, yuck!” and I think he’s hit the nail on the head there. If you love cosines, roots and equations then go for it and take this paper. If you’re hoping to find your rich future engineer sugar daddy in this class, this is the wrong place; all these kids are too preoccupied with thirsting for Ian’s attention and actually answering his questions to notice you. Talk to me in another two years, you studious, motivated youngsters.

Let me set the scene; it’s the summer and you’ve chosen to take a holiday with friends. With your resort surrounded by beautiful beaches and conveniently placed restaurants, everything feels perfect. Everything feels perfect until you remember you brought the fucking kids. Now you could take one of the many responsible approaches such as stay in with the children, take them to the babysitting services offered by the resort or bring them out with you, but doesn’t that feel like overkill? I mean, you’ve been looking after the kids all day, they’re feeling more than loved and they’re probably exhausted. Leave them in the resort room and go out with your friends, you deserve it. Obviously, you’re not complete monsters; you do still care, right? Hot tip: find a restaurant close enough to your room, say 180 feet for example, and check on your beloved kiddies every half hour or so - absolutely foolproof. This way you can enjoy all the delicacies your holiday destination offers, a night of tapas and cocktails awaits you! Now you might still be feeling uneasy, I get it, it feels risky. However, settle these nerves by ensuring you have multiple children on the trip with you. That way if one of your kids mysteriously disappears at least you’ve still got two others to keep you busy. Go out with your friends, life’s just too short.

Full

So, you’ve got some children to mind, but everyone’s planning on tapas for dinner - what’s there to do? Babysit, of course. Why would you want to head out for a nice meal with your mates after a long day in the sun when you could be curled up on the couch watching TV and eating the leftovers from dinner while the children sleep peacefully? Exactly, that right there is reason enough to ditch the friends. Feed the kids, put them to bed, and then put your feet up and relax doing whatever the fuck you want. And all the while you’re saving some moola that you can put towards your next European summer holiday. Meanwhile, your mates are out on the town, spending money on food, bevvies, and who knows what else. Where’s the decision here? Honestly, children can be a bit hard to handle, but they’re no worse than the other screaming children you’ll find in restaurants nowadays, or the poor drunk girls crying in the bathroom (bless your souls), or the testosterone-fueled men fighting in the street over an accidental shoulder nudge. You’re going to end up babysitting either way, so why not choose the option where you don’t have to get dressed up? Plus, you’ll have the added bonus of making sure that the little darlings are safe and sound. Tantrums are going to happen anywhere, so let’s choose the three-yearold who will calm down when they find their favourite toy and get tucked into bed.

exposure

BABYSITTING

GOING OUT WITH FRIENDS

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

WAIKAT FLATS THE HALFWAY HOUSE

These 4 wholesome single gals have a passion for ball sports and cracking a few cold ones after a hard day of MAFS reruns and tinder swiping. Any fine Sunday you can expect to find at least ten extra half-pissed munters taking up couch space and adding to the impressive stack of Cameron road butter chicken containers kept in the kitchen cupboard.

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

A PUNCH IN THE FACE WITH A FISTFUL OF FLAVOUR

UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO STAFF AND STUDENTS PAY

JUST $1.70 ONE WAY ON BUSES IN HAMILTON WITH A BUSIT CARD.

JUST SHOW THE BUS DRIVER YOUR UNI ID TO RECEIVE THE DISCOUNT.

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 19 All aspects of hauora must be respected, Aries. No matter how much meditation and yoga you do, it will not make up for the fact that you’re a backstabber who only consumes chicken nuggets for dinner.

LIBRA SEP 23 - OCT 22 You long to feel accepted and be surrounded by others, but the aura you exude says otherwise. This week, try to be more of a supportive friend and less of a passive aggressive bitch, and people might actually want to spend time with you.

TAURUS APR 20 - MAY 20 Your return to uni has been triumphant, and you have revelled in the attention from your peers. Our predictions see this shortly come to an end, as everyone begins to realise just how much they don’t like you - again.

SCORPIO OCT 23 - NOV 21 This celestial period has you feeling full of energy and happiness, but be wary of any new opportunities that come your way. This jubilance is likely just the aftereffects of last week’s substance abuse.

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUN 20 On top of the world and on the path to success! Unfortunately, neither of these two statements relate to your current situation. Try again next week.

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21 This week sees things looking up for you - your assignments are done, classes are nearly finished, and the prospect of having a flatmate-free house is enchanting. Take the time to burn some sage and cleanse the environment.

CANCER JUN 21 - JUL 22 Your ambition is admirable, dear moonchild. We know you think you’re destined for greatness, but the stars say otherwise. Accept your fate as a sub-par business major and drown your tears in a vodka and orange or two.

CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19 You didn’t thank the higher powers, did you? We warned you, and now karma’s on its way. Good luck babes.

LEO JUL 23 - AUG 22 As mid-semester break arrives, you are full of excitement for the adventures to come. But beware of reality, for your procrastination during the last six weeks means you’ll likely spend the entire break studying and crying. Get to work, baby.

AQUARIUS JAN 20 - FEB 18 In the last week of classes, it’s time to take charge of your life. We know you want to change the world, but you’ve got to do your part of the fucking group assignment first.

VIRGO AUG 23 - SEP 22 We commend your dedication to perfectionism, and it’s brought you far in life. However, the stars are warning of a change, so embrace the unruliness of the next few weeks while relaxing with several bottles of Malibu.

PISCES FEB 19 - MAR 20 It’s two months into uni, and we’d like to congratulate you for finally starting to grow up! First step - you’ve got to switch the KGB’s for something a bit classier. Why not go for some African Elephants?

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2. What types of words are these: madam, civic, eye, level?

3. Complete this sequence of letters: o, t, t, f, f, s, s, _, _, _.

Name:

Created with TheTeachersCorner.net Word Search M NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

W Q

G W

WORD PIA HIAINU LOCATOR PĀTI

PĀPARAKĀUTA TĀONE Inu - drink WAIATA Waipiro - alcohol KIATAU Pāti - party

INU WĀINA RUAKI KARAPU Haurangi - drunk TAKIHĪ Pāparakāuta - pub KĒMUKĀRI Karapu - club TEĀNINIOTEMĀTENGA

WAIPIRO PĀTARA HAURANGI PŌHARA Kēmu kāri - card game KANIKANI Whano - funnel (this isn’t the WHANO

correct translation, but IYKTYK)

Pōhara - poor

Kia tau - Settle down

Wāina - wine

Tāone - town

Te ānini o te mātenga - hanging

Pātara - bottle

Takihī - taxi

over

Hiainu - thirsty

Kanikani - dance

Ruaki - spew

Waiata - sing/song

Pia - beer

SNAPPED

Keen for some free BurgerFuel? Simply snap us the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win. Prizes can be claimed from the SUB

WINNER

NEXUS MAGAZINE / ISSUE 7

BLIND DATE She’s a pretty young thing; a brunette with a passion for fashion who’s dedicating her life to gaining a BA. An alty gal sporting a piercing or seven, this wee lass is looking for the date of her life. He’s a curlyhaired, Corona-guzzling chap with a flash car, a nice place and a penchant for a little man-jewellery. Are we about to witness the birth of something beautiful? SHE SAID: I was the first one there and waited about 15 minutes until he actually showed up, but no complaints – I got started on the tab and downed a vodka and orange juice. While I waited, I kept thinking that every middle-aged man that walked in would be him, but when he finally arrived, I was like thank god he looks normal. I’m not going to lie the yarns where pretty weak at the start and I realised he couldn’t drink much because he was driving (IT’S A $100 BAR TAB WHY WOULD YOU DRIVE?) so I was ready for a night filled with forced conversation, but since I could drink as much as I wanted to, I did. As my drinks flowed, so did the conversation, talking about common interests and figuring out that we literally knew no one in common except this girl he ate out (quick tip – don’t mention that on a date). I may or may not have spilled more than one drink, but I still wasn’t really vibing with him on a ‘my place or yours?’ level. My friends popped their heads in a few times, as they were getting on it in town and around the end of the night my mate came in asking if I wanted a lift home, I was ready to go but he seemed keen to keep the date going. As the night went on my brother called me and asked if I wanted a ride and that was my cue. All in all it was a good night, free drinks ya know, but don’t think there will be a second date, he had a fucking sick car though.

HE SAID: Imagine Lenny from Sharks Tale with a budding afro. Now you’ve got a good idea of how I look let’s move on. Blind date was dope, was nervous as that I’d get someone awkward and it’d be weird as but that wasn’t the case which was great. Old mate was pretty cool. Still feel terrible that I kept her waiting for 20 minutes because I was super late. Dinner was all good, we had some pizza and spunked the rest of the budget on alcohol which I think is the ideal way to do this sort of thing. I’m not usually into heaps of piercings and that sort of thing but by the end of it was warming up to the look. Was awesome that old mate changed the colour of her jewellery for the season. We spent about 3 hours talking about things that happened on benders and honestly I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’ve never struggled to talk to people and old mate was super easy to connect with and a real good laugh. Apart from the lack of eye contact sometimes and a couple of minuscule awkward silences it was a good night. 7 1/2 out of 10 be my freaky señorita again. Could be keen for another night that involved discussions about the sesh, scrolling through your phone and looking at some of the strange, cool and straight up weird things you had on there. Much platonic affection, Lenny from sharks tale. P.S. sorry for calling you old mate.

Brought to you by House on Hood. If you're keen for a Blind Date, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz 45

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