The 2018 Annual General Meeting (AGM) of the WSU will be held on Wednesday 19th September 2018 at 1pm. Any currently enrolled student is welcome to attend. Following the annual plan adopted last year, the WSU has been working hard to deliver on issues that are important to students. On top of our normal business activities we have introduced new technology in the form of “The Hub” and “Nexusmag”, we have upped our game on support for student representation, we have a record number of clubs on campus, and we have engaged strongly with the University of Waikato in consultation around the student services levy and what it will be spent on. At the AGM you will receive the audited accounts for 2017, noting that we operated at a small surplus for the first time in many years, perhaps marking the beginning of a new period of sustainability and potential growth. You will also receive the annual report for 2018, hearing more detail of the solid work your student organisation has been doing on your behalf, and what still needs to be done. Finally you will adopt and approve an annual plan for 2019, and a budget to provide for those activities. That will include the honoraria to be paid to those students serving as Directors of the organisation. Any member who wishes to have any other matter considered for inclusion on the agenda should submit it to the WSU no later than 4.00pm on Friday 17 th August 2018. Also, a reminder that if you are considering putting your name forward for election to the WSU then nominations will be open from Monday 3rd September. More information can be obtained on any of these matters from the WSU office.
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Editorial FOMO Easy News News Entertainment Reviews Rad Rags for Ladies and Lads
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Pantone 448 by Recycle Boutique Calendar Girl Full Exposure: Mrs Krishnan’s Party Guest Column: Do You Need to Detox? How to Fix Everything Nexus Gets You Fit Auteur House Bachelor of Being Broke Yam & Troy the Science Boys Waikat’ Flats Blind Date Horoscopes Snapped Puzzles
Issue 18, 13th – 17th August 2018 Editor: Lyam Buchanan editor@nexusmag.co.nz Design: Vincent Owen design@nexusmag.co.nz Managing Editor: James Raffan james@wsu.org.nz
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Sub Editor: Jennie-Louise Kendrick jen@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editor: Grace Mitchell grace@nexusmag.co.nz News Editor: Alexander Nebesky alex@nexusmag.co.nz Reviews Editor: Archie Porter reviews@nexusmag.co.nz Contributors: Scott Carroll, Bradley Gielen, Kaitlin Stewart, Kim Sare, Jared Ipsen, Natasha Fitzsimons, Richard Swainson, Nicola Smith, Troy Anderson, Dr Libby Weaver, Ash Muir, Liz Viviani, Georgia Inglis, Domi Gatley, Katelyn Silvester, Israel Katene, Oliver Dunn, Ann Maree Parsons, and the tenants of Mum’s House.
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There Isn’t a ‘Big Ol’ Rat Lab’ on Campus and They Want You to Know They took the bait – an editorial written with the intention of ratting out the truth definitely exceeded expectations. The week that followed Issue 12 brought reports of academic staff preaching to students that “you shouldn’t believe everything you read, especially something so appallingly written”. It saw the Dean of Science promptly respond in which he expressed his disappointment—along with several questions and concerns—and it was all topped off with Snapchats exclaiming how it was “#FakeNews”, and I must’ve “failed too many papers and decided to blame the faculty”. Now, I had been saving this response for the right opportunity—ideally until I’d gone through the process of meeting with members of the Ethics Committee, along with various academics involved with the use of animals in research and teaching—but considering it’s been over two months since the pot of FSEN was well and truly stirred, I’m starting to think the only way to get a response is to publish a piece which directly asks them to. So, instead of finishing this saga with the cathartic conclusion I’d hoped for, we’re stuck at a somewhat pubescent midpoint with little more than a written response received from the (then) Dean of Science. On the positive side, it has been confirmed that “The University does not have a ‘Big Ol’ Rat Lab’ on campus”. Further, that it should come as no surprise that their work can include some use of animals in research and teaching, and that the University closely adheres to and exceeds the requirements for housing and care mandated by the National Animal Ethics Advisory Committee (NAEAC), and the Australian and New Zealand Council for the Care of Animals in Research and Teaching (ANZCCART). But that’s not enough. This all started off as a mostly light-hearted conspiracy – paired with a baited headline designed to ruffle a few feathers. It only became a story when one too many phone calls weren’t answered, and far too many of the others resulted in “I’m unable to comment”. The only reason this is still a story is because certain academic staff seem to find it difficult to communicate with students beyond lengthy spiels about “appallingly written” articles by the editor of a student magazine. The (then) Dean of Science wrote that he was disappointed that I hadn’t availed myself to ask questions, hence, I then promptly went to the Dean’s Suite to do so. Now, I’m left disappointed that, despite the time passed, I’m still waiting on various academics to finally ‘avail’ themselves so this can be concluded. If the School of Science really wanted its pot to return to a comfortably stagnant state, they’d have flicked through an email by now.
– Lyam
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Waikato Science Club Bake Sale | Student Centre | August 14 | 10 am – 3 pm
The WSC has an upcoming bake sale fundraiser for Assistance Dogs NZ. They’ll be selling delicious treats, and providing a range of puppies which will be available to pat and cuddle! Internet banking will also be available.
Get Job-Ready!
Join us for Student Job-Ready Day to supercharge your job search, find out what employers are looking for, and discover what life is like in the workplace. August 21, 9 am – 1 pm in S.1.04, Hamilton campus. Register via MyCareer – click Workshops/Tutorials/Drop-ins to book your spot.
Join a Library Tutorial
If you need help finding academic resources, referencing with APA or using Excel, come along to one of the many Library tutorials on offer this month. For more info, visit: waikato.ac.nz/library/
Make Your Summer Count
Want a summer placement that involves real-world research and academic experience? Check out the Summer Research Scholarship projects on offer (worth $6,000). Applications close September 15. To see what’s available, visit: http://bit.ly/UoWSummerResearchScholarship
Inter-faculty Netball
Get a team together and join us for Inter-faculty Netball on August 15 from 10 am – 3 pm at UniRec. There will also be prizes and a free BBQ lunch for both players and supporters. To register with your faculty, contact your Faculty Sports Ambassador or administration staff, or email: uowsport@waikato.ac.nz.
Share Your Writing in Mayhem
Submissions for Mayhem, the University’s online literary journal, close on August 31. Send your original poetry, fiction and creative non-fiction for your chance to
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News. Te Reo Phrase of the Week
E aha ana koe mō ngā rā whakatā?
$850,000,000
of defence aid has been cut for Pakistan by the US. A new bill resulted in counter-terrorist activities no longer being reimbursed – the new total now sits at USD 150 million.
Upto during the break?
Weekly Recap
~400
people have fallen sick throughout the US following a McDonald’s parasite outbreak. As a result, over 3,000 restaurants across 14 states have pulled salads from their menu.
8 years
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A woman has found herself in hospital after she was trampled by a herd of cows in Auckland’s Totara Park. After having run the cycle track around the park, Amy stopped to have a breather and was set upon by the cows. Knocked to the ground, she was unable to escape until a man with a stick came to her aid. “The stick helped for a bit and then the cows got him down. They got him down. For whatever reason, more of them charged him. There was four of them, and they were trampling him.” On a busy East London street, a snake has been videoed eating a pigeon. The RSPCA was called after onlookers said that they had fed the already-dead pigeon to the reptile. It is unknown whether the scaly critter was an escaped pet, or intentionally dumped to fend for itself. It has been moved to a local wildlife centre for assessment. Jingfen is a newly adopted Mandarin word loosely translating to “spiritually Finnish”. It comes after the sudden rise in popularity of Finnish cartoon Matti, depicting a socially awkward Fin during his day-to-day struggles. The cartoon has been appreciated by millions of viewers in China, reportedly for its articulation of the daily yearning for privacy and simultaneous fear of loneliness.
is the amount of time that Ashley Peacock, a 40-year-old man living with autism, has been held in a 10 sqm room in a psychiatric facility in Tawhirimatea. He will finally be moved to a private home this year.
10,000,000,000
trees are planned to be planted in Pakistan in order to fight climate change. The violence-plagued country is one of the most vulnerable in the world to the effect of climate change.
317
people have been killed during civil unrest in Nicaragua which began in mid-April. This includes 21 police officers and 23 children and adolescents.
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Tech of the Week Surface Go
Microsoft’s latest 2-in-1 mobile workstation laptop is surprisingly impressive – especially compared to the shipwreck of the Surface RT. While most of the specs are fairly run of the mill, this tiny wonder computer definitely packs a punch with an updated chip allows it to carry out all basic tasks with ease. Considering the 10-inch display, it does make you wish Microsoft would lay off the thick bezels. Why should you buy this? • It’s affordable, cost-effective, and assured to get the job done. Why shouldn’t you buy this? • If you’re looking to run more than a few lightweight apps, you’ll run into some trouble.
From the Archive
Nexus Magazine – 1999
Nexus Magazine – 2002 5
NEWS
As Time Ticks By, Uni Sticks to the Straight and Hetero JENNIE-LOUISE KENDRICK Just like the SPCA approve specific brands of supermarketbought eggs, there is also a sticker of certification for businesses hoping to prove inclusivity of the gender and sexuality diverse. The Rainbow Tick is dubbed as a “confidence mark that signals businesses and organisations have reached a high standard of diversity”. The organisation boasts impressive clients like Coca-Cola Amatil, Westpac, ASB, and EY. Nestled amongst the high-flying corporations and top law firms, there are two tertiary institutions with the tick: AUT and Massey University. Nexus sat down with AUT Student Association General Manager Will Watterson to discuss their experiences with the Rainbow Tick organisation and asked the question “why aren’t we certified yet?” The process seems thorough; the Rainbow Tick team provides the client with tools to change the culture and environment, helping to create policies and procedures will “drive a supportive and productive workplace that specifically recognises and welcomes sexual and gender diversity”. While it is illegal in New Zealand to discriminate against anyone on the basis of their sex, sexual orientation, or gender 6
identity, the organisation makes a valid point to point out that most companies “don’t know what they don’t know” and may struggle to see the importance and benefits of working with the Rainbow community to ensure inclusivity. Will Watterson was confident that the one training session, and the upcoming session in August, was beneficial for AUT staff. ‘I definitely think the Rainbow Tick certification and associated training has a lot of value and would recommend it to other universities and student unions… training was very effective at equipping us as a student union with some new perspectives and tools to think about how we can make the university a safer and more welcoming space for LGBTTQIA+ staff and students. ‘It has challenged us to look at our organisation policy and processes in a new light and begun an ongoing and emerging conversation about how AUTSA can make our workplace more positive and inclusive for the LGBTTQIA+ community.’ Nexus contacted ViceChancellor Neil Quigley to see what, if not Rainbow Tick, the University was doing to improve campuses for queer people. ‘Earlier this year, the University
considered a proposal to apply for the Rainbow Tick accreditation scheme and a decision was [made] not to proceed with the formal accreditation process at that time because we knew we had further work to do to become compliant’ said Quigley. ‘One of the areas where we know there are substantial costs involved to meet the requirements is all gender bathrooms… we have a number of all gender bathrooms around the Hillcrest campus, and they are now included in all our plans for new buildings (such as the Hamilton Law building and new Tauranga campus), as well as when we are undertaking refurbishments.’ Nexus reached out to students and staff in the Rainbow Community to get their honest thoughts about their experiences. Third-year Hamilton campus student Danielle Marks alleged that they had ‘seen thousands of emails for the university over the past year to include gender-neutral toilets with no recognition’. Marks, a bisexual genderqueer person, was clear in their feelings about the issue of rainbow inclusivity. ‘There is hardly a queer culture on campus in Hamilton. My friends in Tauranga have made an amazing effort to make it loud
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and proud with the ability to ask questions about the LGBTTQIA+ community, but here in Hamilton, all we have is a room tucked away in the corner where we play board games...I don’t feel safe in the university community and society as a whole…’ Haring*, a staff member, was apprehensive to be named but was happy to comment anonymously. ‘Universities should function as epicentres of social discussion, diversity and representation. The inexcusable silence from those in power regarding any queer issues or inclusion has been heartbreaking. Supporting the queer community is an act, not a passive political stance—I’ve seen very little participation from UoW, WSU (and at times Nexus magazine) when it comes to making the Hamilton campus a welcoming place for queer students.’
According to their website, the benefit of the Rainbow Tick is that it “[allows the organisation] to show employees, customers and the wider world that you are a progressive, inclusive and dynamic organisation that reflects the community you are based in.” UniQ Waikato told Nexus: ‘While we’re not familiar with Rainbow Tick’s process or qualifications for their assessment, we believe that what they are doing is beneficial to the whole community, both the LGBTTQIA+ and takatāpui community, and the larger community.’ Waikato, despite being the youngest university, does not seem to be setting trends amongst the seven universities regarding social equality movements. While the Rainbow Tick requires yearly investment, it does seek to benefit the client. If
the perks of inclusivity are more monetary than organisational difference, there’s a problem. Any commerce student will know that a Rainbow Tick falls under the umbrella of corporate social responsibility (CSR). Lots can be said about the widespread use of “ethical” endorsement by companies; the questionable effects of products touting pink ribbons, the heart-healthy tick, or the endorsement of “eco-friendly” practices. Without accountability and transparency, businesses stand to make a lot of money off the “Pink Dollar” by “pinkwashing”—mildly offensive terms for making a product, service or university seemingly more queerfriendly to cash in—but it can misrepresent and trivialise the struggle of equality of the sexually and gender diverse. *Some names have been changed to protect anonymity. 7
NEWS
Divisioning Creates Divide LYAM BUCHANAN A proposal to convert faculties to academic divisions has been the subject of some discontent, with speculation about legal action or walkouts being discussed. Vice-Chancellor Neil Quigley has submitted a proposal to the Academic board that would see the establishment of a new divisional structure within the University, with all of the current faculties being merged into four divisions with Pro Vice-Chancellors reporting directly to Quigley. “Both of the last two ViceChancellors have had the view that we shouldn’t have as many individual faculties as we’ve got... so it’s been one of those things that have been on the agenda for quite a while,” said Quigley. “It’s about providing greater strategic coordination rather than bureaucracy.” The four divisions to be established would be: Division of Health, Sciences, Computing and Engineering; Division of Education; Division of Arts, Social Sciences, Māori Studies and Law; and the Division of Management. All of which in an effort to reduce the bureaucratic 8
system that students, and University Management, face when coordinating papers for a degree spread over multiple faculties. According to Neil Quigley, “it’s about providing greater strategic coordination rather than bureaucracy.” However, the proposal has not been met with universal appreciation, with some faculties voicing opposition to the mergers. Including rumours that the Faculty of Law is seeking legal avenues to block the mergers, and the Faculty for Māori and Indigenous Studies has agitated for greater autonomy in any potential divisions in which it might be incorporated. Despite this, Quigley has stated that he has “talked with a group of senior staff in law at the beginning of the year, and interestingly while a lot of people thought they should go with management their view was that they wanted to go with the social sciences – and that’s an interesting choice.” “I think it is quite a strategic choice for us because a key strength we have is law in context. So we’re not quite as ‘black letter’
in our teaching of the law as other law schools, but we provide a lot more contextual stuff.” The University also has to walk a fine line between keeping the Māori voices and academic success structures that are in place, and creating a structure in which the Faculty of Māori and Indigenous studies could possibly lose some of its autonomy. “This university has got two areas of strength, one is the School of Māori studies, and the other is the fact that we’ve got a lot of Māori staff spread across the whole university – and I wouldn’t want to lose either. But I think encouraging the hiring of Māori staff across the whole Uni is important because our Māori students are spread across the whole university, and so you know they need to see Māori staff in as many places as they can.” However, in recent submissions on the proposal, staff members in the Faculty of Māori and Indigenous Studies were expressing significant concerns that this would lead to job losses, or a ProVice-Chancellor appointment who didn’t understand the Faculty. We asked Quigley if he was aware of
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the submission and whether he was open to considering changes. “I have addressed the issues that they’ve raised in quite a substantial way in the document that I will release today [the current proposal]. But I’ve considered the things that they’ve said carefully.” “So what I’ve said in the case of Māori studies is they’d be a part of the social sciences division in terms of reporting line but I want them to run a separate board of studies, and to look at a way to constitute that board of studies so all Māori staff across the Uni can be a part of it, rather than just the staff from FMIS. Which I think is potentially a plus, in the sense of giving us a strong Māori voice through the academic board structure.” “... every argument that you can imagine could be introduced in this respect has been. So the proposal that comes out today [the current proposal] does continue with the idea that they should be part of the Social Science division but gives them some greater recognition of distinctiveness in that structure.” “By bringing all of the Māori staff together to talk about issues, rather than just FMIS, that stuff in relation to Māori studies will probably continue to be the most controversial elements of the proposal, and I suspect most of the rest of it will settle down reasonably well.” A second contentious issue seems to be Faculty of Law, with concerns being raised to Nexus by students who feel their degree would lack the same international standing if it is seen as part of an “Arts Division.” In the words of one 4th year law student who we asked what is your issue with it
“Fuck FASS!” While that response wasn’t super productive. It is more than we have been able to get from the faculty itself, with Dean of Law Wayne Rumbles stating that “Consultation regarding the divisional restructure is ongoing and Te Piringa staff have fully engaged in the process and formulated collective and individual responses to the proposals which have been submitted to the VC for consideration.” Further that “it would not be helpful to critique a document that will substantially change”. Concluding that once the final document is released, he would be happy to comment on the position of Te Piringa: Faculty of Law. This is an issue Quigley believes he has already addressed “some of the law students we met with were a bit concerned about whether this might impact upon the credibility of their degree, and the answer is we’re making sure that doesn’t happen.” The biggest litmus test for the new structure will be the impact it ultimately has on students, and that is something the ViceChancellor seems definitive on. “We’ve just recently been contacted by some students saying ‘oh well you know it sounds like the world is about to change’ and ‘why weren’t the students consulted’ but we don’t really see it as having big implications for students, in the sense that there is no changes in degrees, and no changes in staff numbers and student support, or anything like that. There may be down the track some reorganisation of some of those things, but all of that is for subsequent consultation.” “So I guess why I didn’t think it was necessary to ask WSU to
run a big consultation for it was because it seems to me to be pretty much administrative, therefore it wasn’t going to affect students very much.” “As a result of those meetings, and a few people contacting [WSU President] Candra, we’ll make sure that the students see the paper that is going to be released late today [last Wednesday], and then if they have any concerns they can contact their academic board reps.” “So between seeing this in Nexus and the fact that it will be discussed at academic board next week and there will be student reps there if there are any concerns they can let us know through those channels.” “I think it will certainly not harm and I hope it will improve it. Partly because there will be an opportunity for the division, or level, to look at some things like student advice, and student learning support, and things that we’re currently doing.” “At the moment, all I’m doing is changing some peoples reporting lines, and doing it prior to doing administrative reorganisation. But it’s a change proposal of the type where no positions are being disestablished. One new position is created, that’s all.” “With so many small faculties it’s hard for us to know about the level of support for students that’s being provided in the number of different areas, and it’s hard to coordinate that, so part of the job of the PVC in their divisional offices is to make sure we’re on top of those things.” “So I hope we’ll be better coordinated on some of those things and it will be all the same people doing the same job so hopefully nothing will get worse.” 9
NEWS
No Computers in My Class: Millennials Bitch About Having to Use a Pen ALEXANDER NEBESKY A lecturers decision to ban “devices” from class is incredibly unpopular with his students but research suggests he may be right. Leading us to ask “whose responsibility is it to ensure you are engaged?” Professor Shikhar Sarin, a new lecturer in Waikato Management School, has enacted a ban on laptops in his course, preferring students to hand-write their notes. Sarin cites studies suggesting handwriting notes is more useful for the retention of information. However some students are claiming they need laptops to study effectively. Sakrin explained ‘The no screen policy for MKTG 352 is not a blanket one – it only pertains to the lecture portion of the paper. There is a separate Lab portion of the paper where the students are encouraged to use their devices to engage in external research and statistical analysis. Even for the lecture portion, accommodations are made for students who have validated reasons to use devices’. ‘I would not presume to speak for all academic staff and papers, but such paper-related decisions are routinely made by academic staff (in the best interest of the students) – after careful consideration of the nature of the paper, the learning objectives, the course design, and the pedagogical approach adopted for each paper’. A number of students reached out to Nexus wishing to remain anonymous, but suggest that the 10
relationship between the lecturer and the class has been damaged by the restrictions: ‘If anything, it’s lost him respect… No one is happy in these classes. The atmosphere is so icy’. Students suggested that while the lecturer was right to want respect from his students, given that it was the students who were paying for the lectures it was unfair on them to be restricted in their use of technology. “It’s absurd to suggest that everyone should bring paper powerpoint slides to lectures everytime”. ‘Some people like to type their notes, some people like to use their phone to record, and them having that options is more beneficial’. Not all students are opposed to Sakrin’s “no screen” policy. Class rep Srishtika Prakash supports her lecturer’s decision “I’m in support of it… It feels like I’m paying so much more attention in class’. She was also quick to point out that lectures were recorded, so students could go over their notes any time they wished. She felt it was as much an issue with adjusting to a new lecturer as anything else. “‘The fact that he’s new probably makes people he’s bringing his American ways in… I think it would be different if their favourite lecturer suggested no screens.” Further developments, and more extensive coverage can be found on nexusmag.co.nz.
Letters to the Editor Issue 16’s editorial ‘Mature Students Aren’t the Problem, Mature Lecturers Are’ definitely stirred a few pots, and started more than a few conversations. Responses ranged from handdelivered letters, long-winded verbal responses, and various series of emails – here’s the top picks.
Response 1:
Dear Lyam, I really loved reading your opinion that mature students are not the problem but mature lecturers are, NOT! Honestly fucking think outside yourself do you really think this group of intellectuals is not using image capturing software because they can’t use the tech. Fuck off, they can call IT to assist if that was the case. (Clearly your no a IT major). I honestly love hearing opinion pieces but a little more baking time in that oven would’ve done some good. Well what other reason could there be? I’d leave it there, but I read your first piece so let me spell it out, illegal distribution of Ponopto videos (insert shocked face emoji). Yes , so people who aren’t paying what you have to pay (no student loan for them) get to take Digital Marketing. So all those moments you were going to impress your employer at the interview unfortunately , they already saw that video on YouTube. Also if you thought the people you were learning from couldn’t use image capturing software may I recommend finding a different university. Now I’m sure you will be a pussy and not publish this
NEWS
but honestly next time you want to write a We should have Ponopto piece, think a bit wider than yourself. For example ,Ponopto would be great for students who fall ill and need to catch up. Or is the student magazine not the voice for those students. Love and kindest of wishes Nexus Reader IV
Response 2:
If you don’t come to class because you couldn’t care less about what the lecturer is teaching, or because it’s easier (and lazier) to look at it on Panopto, this is a student attitude problem and one that will get you nowhere in life -certainly not into any employment. If you think you’re being more “evolved” or “relevant” than your lecturers, you’re not – you’re devolving and so is your university. If this trend were to continue the international ranking of your university would more than likely plummet and your degree would become “irrelevant” and worth little more than zilch. When you come to apply for a job, not only will there be lots of competition, but in many cases you will have to sit a series of psychometric tests that will include or exclude you in the running for the position. Employers will test you not only on your knowledge of the field you have studies, but also on your literacy and on your
personality and attitude. And you can’t bullshit you’re way through -you won’t know what they’re trying to find out. If you have the attitude that you can front up whenever you like, or just mosey along with the intention of just “scraping through”, then all you’re going to do is “scrape through” in like. You won’t “eventually gain employment” -- you never will. And you’ll always be reliant on “spoonfeeding,” hand-outs and “people holding your hand.” So the point is students need to “evolve” and take more responsibility for their learning and stop expecting IT devices and lecturers to be there to bring it to you on a silver platter. If you don’t you’ll find yourself “phased out quicker than (you) expect”. Z.M – Mature Student
Response 3:
Dear Editor, I am a staff member at the university involved with teaching. I fully support your editorial on use of video recordings. I have been here for over 15 years and used to be of the opinion that students should be attending class and lectures should not be recorded. After attending an eLearning conference where the keynote speaker talked about flexible learning and how it can benefit students it totally changed
my way of thinking. There is a great benefit to having video recordings of lectures and even tutorials. I have had students who have had injuries which has kept them off campus for 2-3 weeks or more. By having video recordings these students have been able to keep up with the rest of the class and have been able to complete the paper. Without recordings how do these students learn with only minimal notes being on the lecture slides and not being able to see and hear the full lecture? Many students these days also have families and kids to look after. In a lot of cases their best time for learning is at night once the kids are asleep. Maybe they missed a lecture due to family issues, why can’t they watch a recording at night when they have the time and can be fully concentrated on learning? Personally when I want to learn something new I always tend to try and find a video as it is a much richer experience, what’s wrong with that? As educators we should be providing the content in a variety of ways so that the students can choose for themselves the best way for them to learn because people learn in different ways. Students have a right to ask for these resources as they bring in the funding, without the students there is no university. 11
Crush of the Week: Uber Drivers That Don’t Make Small Talk Manners are important, awkward chit-chat not so much. There’s nothing better than a driver who lets you mentally prep yourself for the night ahead, or allows you a moment of clarity on the way home. Let’s just accept that you don’t care if we’re “having a big night” as much as we don’t care if you’ve “had a busy night”.
Clickbait Moodboard:
What’s Hot: •
The WSU Interfaculty Pub Quiz
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Utilising emojis as both a form of grammar and a means of making messages less passive aggressive
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The University bringing back the two week break in Semester B
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A well-clogged InSinkErator
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Countdown continuing to take steps against plastic packaging by delivering food in paper bags
Theme: Decreasing the square meterage of masculinity’s ever-suffocating prison cell.
What’s Not:
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Disrespecting flawless reality TV shows (e.g. Love Island UK) because it’s too “normcore”
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Change.org campaigns
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Refs that don’t appreciate a healthy platter of chat from spectators
Teaching Students Counting Down the Days Until They Can Be Underpaid and Overworked
Excited to head into an industry which will fail to meet any expectations, Amy, 19, shared that she ‘definitely won’t regret this decision at all’. When we asked what prompted her to follow this career path, she responded quaintly that ‘the holidays seem pretty good, I guess’.
“Cool Dude” Found to be Only as Cool as the Amount of Drugs He’s Known to Consume
After awakening at 2 pm, local degenerate, Todd, 23, desperately searches for someone to share last nights tales of valour with. ‘Haha yeah I was well-cooked aye, could you tell? Honestly, I don’t know how I got lit last night – I guess I’m just a massive slut for nangs.’
Overwhelming Doubt Sets in After Three Hour Lab Actually Takes Three Hours
Yet another second-year biochemistry major has suffered a mild existential breakdown, following the realisation that being stuck in a lab for a full-time job would be a fate worse than death. ‘Is this all I have to look forward to? What have I done to deserve this?’ 13
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CHARCOAL BABY – BLOOD ORANGE REVIEW: ARCHIE PORTER
THE LOCUST ROOM – JOHN BURNSIDE REVIEW: SCOTT CARROLL
The multi-talented Dev Hynes, more commonly known under his Blood Orange alias, recently dropped ‘Charcoal Baby’ – the first single from his upcoming record, Negro Swan. The track feels like a natural progression from Hynes’ last album, the critically acclaimed funk and R&B tinged Freetown Sound; however, this new song feels a lot smoother, catchier, and more immediate than its predecessor. The track moves along with a gorgeous R&B flow, as Hynes fuses the song with excellent guitar work akin to his older records. The lyrics are densely poignant and, coupled with the track’s gorgeous, dreamy vocals, set the song apart from Blood Orange’s occasionally hollow discography. It’s an exceptionally groovy track, brooding with patience and unfurling into a rippling, warped, synth-laden haze, complete with a distant saxophone solo and frenetic drum beat as the song abruptly cuts out. It’s impressive how effortlessly Hynes is able to amalgamate genres, capturing the vibes of a slick pop song, groovy synthfunk, electronic music, and R&B; yet the final product has its own distinct voice. It is interesting, too, that a song predominantly focusing on racial insecurities, anxious lamentations, and what Hynes describes as “black depression”, can progress with such confidence, luring the listener into its captivating grasp. ‘Charcoal Baby’ is among the best tracks I’ve heard all year, and if it’s anything to go by, Negro Swan might just be Blood Orange’s best work yet. Watch this space.
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The Locust Room is what you would call a “campus novel”, set around the university life of Cambridge in 1975. The protagonist, a quiet and troubled young man, copes with a series of transgressions over the course of a few years, while in parallel, another character is stalking and sexually assaulting vulnerable women at night. Bleakness is the first word I could give you to describe The Locust Room, but it’s bleakness for the sake of setting the scene. Paul is written in a way so as to make you aware of the “weight” he is carrying throughout the plot; all times dark, overcast and teeming with hostility in both the setting and the people he deals with. His lameness and feeble mindset only exacerbate an encroaching feeling of doom— which, I might add, goes well with the few chapters we get of the rapist’s perspective. Despite Burnside nailing his intended visual atmosphere, there isn’t much to take away from The Locust Room. His attempt to portray Paul’s state of being leaves the rest of the book lacking, so all you are left with is essentially the story of a brooding, selfish and shadowed man. It could have been more, you know?
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Single LAPS AROUND THE SUN – ZIGGY ALBERTS
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Australian environmentalist “free-surfer” surprisingly not a big fan of plastic.
GUMBOOT SOUP – KING GIZZARD AND THE LIZARD WIZARD REVIEW: BRADLEY GIELEN
Psychedelic rock septet King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard made a goal to release a grand total of five albums in 2017. Surprisingly, they just managed to do it – releasing Gumboot Soup on December 31. However, it seems the final addition to the band’s impressive 2017 catalogue was indeed rushed to fit the deadline, as the whole album is, frankly put, a bit all over the place. Gumboot Soup is lacking the staple of each prior Gizzard album: a sense of continuity. Now, this isn’t to say that the Gizz has lost its fizz— each track is still distinctly them—but the album feels more like a compilation of B-sides rather than having its own unique sound. In fact, the track ‘The Great Chain of Being’ was in fact an unused cut from their previous record Murder of the Universe. But, hey, not many bands promise five albums a year and actually deliver—so who am I to complain? If you like their other stuff, chances are you’ll like at least a couple of the tracks throughout. No song is inherently bad on its own, but after four masterful albums, Gumboot Soup is trying to do the impossible by summarizing four vastly different records into one album.
Single LIBRARY – WAVEFORM* A little lo-fi, a little experimental, and a little dissociative – an ideal “look how obscure I am” album.
Album TALK OF THIS TOWN – CATHERINE MCGRATH A painful cover of Taylor Swift’s timeless classic ‘Fearless (Platinum Edition)’.
Single YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN A CROWN – BILLIE EILISH We get it, you’re edgy.
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We’ve got $200 to give away to the quaintest of residences, the scungiest of shitboxes, and the plushest of abodes. To apply, either email editor@nexusmag.co.nz or just flick us a message on Facebook.
Latest Trends KAITLIN STEWART Every single day, both new and recycled trends grace our screens. I would say “we see these on a day to day basis”, but let’s be real, it’s not every day you’ll spot the latest Supreme drop in Hamilton. With the likes of Instagram and Snapchat, we are continuously updated with what the big celebs—à la Kylie Jenner—are wearing. I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve just sat down and had a chat, don’t ya think? So, let’s have a catch-up, go over the latest trends, and pretend that even if we do like them that we can actually afford them. Don’t worry, I am very much aware, by “having a chat with you”, really means me continuing to talk to myself. I’m just pretending as though I have an audience, in order to make up for my complete lack of human interaction. As we are all aware, streetwear is the only player in the game. There’s only one way to fame nowadays. Wear brands with the most prominent logo, make sure to get snapped by Highsnobiety, and you, my friend, are launched into instant stardom. When it comes to streetwear, shoes make the biggest statement. But, I mean, how much more can you do with sneakers. I’ve talked about the Dad trend, and yes, it remains relevant, but it’s time for something fresh and new. Vans are still one of my favourite shoe brands. Although they’re year 7 vibezzzzz AF, their versatility is incomparable. And soon we will be graced with the Van Gogh collection. High art-inspired shoes? I mean, it’s sure a step-up from Hello Kitty (if you know, you know). This is a trend that is, and always will be, popular. But I’m running out of ideas, and just want to talk about it. Co-ord ‘fits are all the rage my sweet chickens. Coordinated tops and bottoms which incorporate the likes of suits, tracksuits, and loungewear are merely matching clothes. I see oversized suits so often on my Insta feed. There is nothing better than wearing a 20-year-old suit that hides every trace of a figure you may obtain; the absolute peak of style. High-waisted pants are totally back from the dead. Not just any high-waisted pants—I’m talking about pants up to ya fuckin’ ears. A classic combo sported on almost every Insta model’s page. This being the classic cropped singlet and the highest of high waisted cargo pants. My likeness towards this trend is unknown. I want to like it, but to uphold my super original, alternative only, don’t talk to me unless you listen to Yellow Days image, I cannot.
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When the team at Recycle Boutique Hamilton took up a guest spot in our pages last year to flex a bit of fashion photography muscle, the results had more than a few of us quaking in our boots. Stylist Liz Viviani and photographer Ash Muir are back, shooting Greystreeters Domi, Israel, Oliver and Katelyn in RB’s finest threads.
Photography: Ash Muir @ashkmuir @ashleighmuirphotography
Stylist: Liz Viviani @lizviviani @lizvivianistyling
MUA: Ann Maree Parsons at Florence Brow Studio @florencebrowstudio
Styling Assistant: Georgia Inglis @georgia_inglis
Models: Domi Gatley @______domi
Israel Katene @israelkatene
Oliver Dunn @cousin.rozen
Katelyn Silvester Clothing: Recycle Boutique Hamilton / Second Hand @recyclehamilton
Payday KIM SARE The life of a student is often a frugal and destitute one. The struggle of eating halls food day after day as your poor financial status stares you in the face. The need to calculate how much you can viably spend on alcohol to afford some kind of food for the next week. Sending your account into overdraft because the Bay Dreams lineup this year is just too good to miss. It’s a tough life. Don’t fret; here are three fool-proof ways to guarantee a little dough in your pocket to fuel your scarfie antics. The organised ones among us with a part-time job; congratulations, you’re not a complete societal leech! Contributing to the economy, gaining life experience, learning how to act in the workplace, doing more than a simple degree – what a star! That cold, hard cash is 100 per cent earned by you, and definitely a fair representation of your effort as an employee. That means it’s allowed to be blown frivolously, right? Your determination to find a job, the hard work you put in, and the extra organisation skills you must acquire to “keep up” with uni perfectly justify squandering your money. That adorable playsuit you just had to get your hands on, another bottle of vodka that’ll surely last a couple of nights on the rark, and maybe just one more vegan Domino’s pizza. Treat yourself kid, as a functioning member of society you’re entitled. For those of you not that way inclined, StudyLink’s handy payouts can work a treat. Essentially a rewards system for what is pretty much a group of unemployed, hormonal addicts—most of whom are 24
not yet ready to claim the title of adult—these weekly payments are a godsend. All you have to do to be eligible is be enrolled in a tertiary institute and boom! And for those particularly “lucky” ones, it doesn’t even get added to your forever-increasing student loan. Could it get any better? Above all, one cannot forget about the convenient course-related costs. $1000 to spend on any necessary university items? Yes, please! It is particularly useful when the financial scene is looking a bit dire, or when faced with the whole gang’s decision to head to Rhythm and Vines this year. Just keep those fingers crossed that you’re not randomly audited by the Government. Now, for the wealthier of you, the Bank of Mum and Dad may be a viable option for those times when you just really need another pair of skinny jeans. Usually quite fast and often interest-free, a loan from this organisation can be a lifesaver in the most desperate of situations. A primary source of support, parents are there to guide us along this existential journey of ours as we strive to find our purpose in life. Having children is a lifelong commitment — they knew what they were getting into, it’s your right to stake claim on their comparatively-stacked bank accounts.
Kalyani Nagarajan, star of Indian Ink’s new theatre production Mrs Krishnan’s Party, gave us the inside scoop on playing a character twice her age and throwing balloons into the audience. NEXUS: The Indian Ink Theatre Company loves to bridge cultures and expand boundaries, how would you say Mrs Krishnan’s Party contributes to this? KN: I think Mrs Krishnan’s Party has a really effective way of creating a community; different faiths, races, walks of life all come together in celebration of the Hindu festival Onam. You talk to strangers, create a party and sense of community! I think Indian Ink is so effective in expanding boundaries and this show is doing that with leaps and bounds. The story is incredibly heartwarming and hilarious. NEXUS: The play has an incredible immersive element to it; involving the audience by coming down into the crowd, and playing with balloons. How important was it to use this to play off the idea of a big, crazy party? KN: It’s immersive in the way that the audiences/ guests of the party are all sitting in the middle of the action. There is no stage as such which is super exciting. Everything unfolds before their eyes. Which makes the story very present and alive. The audience are essential and we treat them as guests of the party. We wanted everyone is just let loose and have all the “rules” of the theatre we are so used to broken. It’s fresh and full of life and the shows changes every night! NEXUS: The stage and props are super dynamic and interesting! The boiling pots and DJ turntable – how much is real? KN: Everything! We thought about it the other day, because there are sooo many hazards...Our stage
manager has a fire extinguisher and burn cream on the ready ... I always get a bit nervous when I have to chop onions furiously cause if I cut myself it would all have to be sorted and the show would hopefully go on! NEXUS: So, you play Zina Krishnan, a character who is way older than yourself. How did you prepare for the role? KN: Justin Lewis our director is incredible by giving us tools to transform! My mask really helps, it’s a set of teeth and some glasses. I also have a clear image of the Indian ‘other’ architype ! It’s not easy but this is a character I know so well so came naturally also ! NEXUS: Why should students head along? KN: It is such an exciting piece of theatre. Everything unfolds in real time. Real situations. No fake. No time jumps. It’s all fresh, alive and full of heart. It is the direction I see theatre going. Theatre is really good at creating and reflecting relationships and Mrs Krishnan’s Party does it brilliantly. It’s a show everyone can relate to. We hope you think about your life in this show and not take life so seriously! James, the other character in the show, is a uni student and he has some real troubles and issues I think all students and younger people will relate to ! I certainly do! Kalyani Nagarajan performs in Mrs Krishnan’s Party, at The Meteor from Wednesday 15 – Saturday 18 August. Tickets are available online from The Meteor. Visit indianink.co.nz/production/mrs-krishnans -party/ for full information. 25
Do You Need to Detox? DR LIBBY You read everywhere these days that for beautiful skin you need to do a ‘detox’. Well, your body is always detoxifying; you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t! However, the lifestyle choices you make impact how efficiently the liver and other organs involved in daily detoxification are able to do their critical work. There is so much misinformation out there about detoxification, so let’s clear that up. Detoxification is essentially a process of transformation. Substances that, were they to accumulate in the body would be harmful to you, are converted into less harmful versions in order to be safely eliminated or used for another purpose. The liver takes on the bulk of this detoxification work. If it is overwhelmed, and the mechanisms of detoxification and elimination are compromised, every process inside of us that creates health and energy can be affected. The liver detoxification pathways require nutrients to function, so dietary choices can influence how efficiently each phase of detoxification is able to proceed. For the first stage of detoxification numerous nutrients, including B vitamins, are essential. Antioxidants such as vitamin C, vitamin E and carotenoids are also important, and these are found in colourful plant foods. For phase two liver detoxification pathways, we require specific amino acids and sulphur. Sulphur can be obtained from Brassica family vegetables, eggs, onion and garlic, and we get our amino acids from protein foods. The liver makes enzymes that are responsible for 26
the transformation of each substance, and the rate of production of these essential enzymes determines how quickly each substance is processed. But it’s not just about ensuring our liver detoxification pathways have the nutrients they need to function properly. There is a group of substances I lovingly label “liver loaders”. They include alcohol, trans fats, refined sugars, caffeine and synthetic substances, such as those found in pesticides and conventional skin, laundry and cleaning products. Minimising our intake or exposure to these can help to reduce the load on the liver. The liver also has to deal with substances the body makes itself such as estrogen and cholesterol. When our detoxification pathways are congested, these substances might only be partially detoxified (changed) and, if so, they will then be recycled back into the blood (from which they came). The recycling of estrogen can contribute to hormonal imbalances, which can lead to a variety of challenging symptoms. Be honest with yourself about the ‘liver loaders’ in your life. Focus on taking good care of yourself and nourishing yourself, rather than on what you may need to consume less of; as that in itself can feel overwhelming or exhausting and just another thing to do. Dr Libby will be speaking in Hamilton on the 22nd of August. The Hormone Factor event will explore ageing, hormones, beauty and biochemistry, 7pm – 9pm at the Claudelands Conference & Exhibition Centre - Heaphy Rooms Corner of Brooklyn Road & Heaphy Terrace. Tickets are $39.99 from www.drlibby. com/events
Holly Arrowsmith and A Dawn I Remember JARED IPSEN When I saw Holly Arrowsmith play in a converted shed in Turangi, I can honestly say for the first time watching a musician play, I was enraptured. I don’t think I’ve ever used that word to describe anything before. Usually, when you see someone play, you get bored – you check Instagram, you go outside for a dart, you watch other people dance in the crowd. But with Holly, for the small group of us crammed inside a garage out the back of someone’s house, we couldn’t look away. It might be because her songs are, in a way, so foreign and unfamiliar. They wander slowly along their own paths, telling stories from parts of her life only she has seen. Listening to tracks from her new album A Dawn I Remember, at times feels like looking in someone’s window; private, secret. Winter Moon sounds like staring out a window on a long drive, watching the sun go down behind farmlands and rivers. Her music is different, but recognisable – like going back to your hometown after a long time away. It’s easy to hide behind cliches and traditional song structure as a musician – it’s familiar. People understand it. Moving away from that, and leaning into who you are as an artist – it’s a risk. Laying yourself bare and putting yourself out there is scary. But Holly seems to do it with ease. ‘I bring myself into my music,’ she says. ‘I write about my own life and experiences. When you are so interconnected to your art, the challenge is to not confuse your essence with “your work”—I’ve
fallen into that trap, and it’s not a sustainable route. Finding a balance between pouring yourself into what you make, but also being ready to step back from it isn’t easy.’ Holly is set to embark on an 11 date tour across the country, bypassing traditional venues for more interesting, intimate ones. Her “Hamilton” show is being hosted at Te Pahu Sound Lounge, nestled near the bottom of Mt. Pirongia. I can’t imagine a venue like that gets much foot traffic. Touring is difficult enough as it is, but sometimes letting go of the traditional expectation of a “successful tour” (making money, selling merch, not sleeping on floors, eating something other than McDonald’s) is essential for a touring musician. ‘What I love about touring are the people I get to meet,’ says Holly. ‘I travelled the USA for three months and only stayed in one hotel – people open their homes and their stories to you, and I think it’s because you’ve opened yours to them through song. It is so beautiful being allowed into those spaces, and the connection I find there keeps me going.’ As musicians, writers, painters and artists, we need to let go of traditional ideas of structure, and success. There is magic off the beaten path – magic in believing in yourself and your songs out loud in a small venue under a mountain.
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Why the Fuck Not? Steps Towards that Summer Goal NATASHA FITZSIMONS We’re nearing the time of year where napkins can be sported as casual wear, and almost sideless singlets become everyday attire. It’s time to make this summer your best – stop skipping those awkward muscle groups and become a hoe for show. The following workout is sure to trigger parts of your body that you never knew existed.
EQUIPMENT
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1x hill OR set of stairs (three flights if possible, or just do three of one) 2x towels (one to lay on, and the other for the sweatier among us) That’s it. DURATION
25 – 30 min (rest time dependant).
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CIRCUIT ONE
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TRICEP DIP
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PLANK
Bodyweight squats – 1 minute Burpees – 1 minute Lunges – 1 minute Run up the hill (20 metres OR three flights of stairs) Rest – 1 minute Plank – 1 minute Crunches – 1 minute Tricep dip – 1 minute Rotational Push-up – 1 minute Run up the hill (20 metres OR three flights of stairs) Rest – 1 minute L-Seat Static Hold – 1 minute Bicycle – 1 minute Shoulder Bridge – 1 minute Sprinter run – 1 minute Run up the hill (20 metres OR three flights of stairs) Rest – 1 minute Then, repeat one of the sets. Make sure you stretch or roll after this session as you’ve just had a full body workout.
TECHNICAL NOTES
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ROTATIONAL PUSH UP
When pushing upwards in a squat, try to imagine you’re holding a $100 note between your butt cheeks – this helps to trigger your glutes. • L Seat: Sit with your legs extended and feet flexed, place the hands on the floor and slightly round the torso. Then, lift the hips off the ground, hold for five seconds and release. Repeat! • Rotational Push-Up: Standard push-ups not cutting it? For a variation, after coming back up into a starting push-up position, rotate the body to the right and extend your right hand overhead, forming a ‘T’ with your arms and torso. Return to the starting position, do a normal push-up, then rotate to the left. There are no shortcuts to a place worth going so, push yourself, recovery correctly and repeat tomorrow.
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AUTEUR HOUSE 40th International Film Festival RICHARD SWAINSON The 40th International Film Festival to grace the city of Hamilton kicks off on August 22. The venue: the Lido Cinema. The opening film: Birds of Passage. Opening nights have traditionally been underpatronised by the student body, even those nominally studying in the field of screen and media. Generations of students have no idea what they’ve been missing. Admittedly, in the past, film selections have been a little more alternative. Programmers, in their wisdom, have consistently decided to begin a film festival with the least festival-like movie they can think of; the one that attracts the largest mainstream audience. Talk about a contradiction! This year, things are different. It’s as if the powers that be have decided that after four decades, Hamilton has finally grown up. We get the same opening night film as Auckland did. Birds of Passage is co-directed by Ciro Guerra, who made the 2015 masterpiece Embrace of the Serpent. It’s a Colombian drama set in the 1970s, about the clash between the indigenous culture and period drug lords. Or maybe how the two complement one another. A thinking person’s Sicario, if you will. University students should pride themselves on being thinking people. They qualify for a ticket discount. It is a privilege to have access to so many excellent international films in such a short space of time; 58 features and four collections of contemporary shorts. There is sex (Gaspar Noe’s Climax), violence (Mandy with a chainsaw-wielding Nicholas Cage) 30
and religion (Paul Schrader’s First Reformed – a major return to form). There are also slow, arty movies that are good for you. Stray, a stunning debut by New Zealander Dustin Feneley; The Wild Pear Tree, from Turkish maestro Nuri Bilge Ceylan; Burning, a 148-minute South Korean love triangle, and the 1987 West German classic Wings of Desire – Wim Wenders’ finest hour. One more thing... on opening night the booze is free. How can impoverished students turn down quality alcohol?
Brrr! It’s Cold in Here! NICOLA SMITH For the purpose of this article, please suspend your disbelief and imagine that this edition of Bachelor of Being Broke coming from Wendy “Better Living Everyone” Meyer. As great as student flats are for Saturday night drinks, Orientation Week celebration, or Netflix and chill, insulation in these abodes is scarce—if any. So, here are some tips to stay warm before, during and after the cold hits Hamilton. A pre-warning to anyone new to Tinder around this time of year: you will be preyed upon as a potential “cuddle buddy”, by someone who wants to be warmed up. If you are aware of the connotations behind this tactic and genuinely want to use this means of heating, go for gold. However, this may not be a reliable source of heating as the meet up might be in a colder flat and things could possibly heat up in a bad way between your new “buddy”. Now that we’ve addressed that, let’s move onto some more practical approaches. As cool as one thinks they may look walking around campus in shorts and a t-shirt, it’s impractical. The necessity of investing in a raincoat, umbrella, even waterproof footwear is critical—especially travelling to and from uni. Lots of op shops have second-hand coats and layers at decent prices if the budget is a struggle. Some stores may even have leftover stock from last year’s winter at a lower rate. However, I’m sure most wardrobes involve track pants, a onesie from DisOrientation week, and a leavers’ hoodie to help out.
Let’s give a quick shout out to all the local laundromats. While they may not be as luxe as TV shows may them look, but it is something every student should take full value of. For $2, you can wash and dry your clothes as well. This is saving money on power that could go towards heating. Bonus points for no damp clothes in your lounge. Next, and this sounds more complex than it actually is, is to buy an interior window insulation kit. These range from $20-$50 depending on the area and can be purchased at a local hardware store. It’s a cheaper alternative to double glazing and really does help stop the heat escaping through the windows. What reflects into the house will only be the sunshine and radiance, and is a great way to keep warm. There are much better and more affordable ways to keep warm this upcoming winter. Just be aware of how high your power bill can get while having a heater going in your flat. However, if you have the luxury of being able to afford high power bills, just skip all the steps above.
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Why the US Still Dicks About with Imperial Units TROY ANDERSON The metric system is fucking dope. The imperial system is not. The former was invented by a French bloke named Gabriel Mouton in the 17th century. He was getting really sick of all the bullshit units out there that didn’t make sense, were challenging to work with, or weren’t even consistent between cities. He established the metre based on the curvature of the Earth. The idea of a universal system of measurement was born and continued to grow. In 1791, the metre was redefined as one ten-millionth of the distance between the geographic North Pole and the Equator by the French Academy of Sciences. It’s pretty straightforward: one cubic metre is equivalent to one thousand litres. One thousand litres (of pure water) weighs one tonne, and this covers the main three bases; distance, volume, and mass. Degrees Celsius were later defined from the freezing and boiling points of pure water (0 and 100 °C). These SI units were determined by nature, but have since been redefined several times so that they can be recreated with great accuracy by anyone with the appropriate gear. Then, there’s the imperial system... No one needs any further explanation as to why the imperial system is fucked. I have a mate who loves it solely because he knows all the conversion factors; lording his knowledge over the metric peasants. I often hear the series of statements—it’s never a discussion— like “why does America still use the imperial system?” followed by “because they’re Trump-supporting idiots LOL XD”. It’s evident that explanation doesn’t make a lick of sense, so I decided I’d look into it. Fortunately for me, many others had also wondered this so doing 32
research for this column was super fucking easy. It’s merely a matter of cost. The United States of America is a big fucking country and has been using imperial units pretty much since day one. This means that this system is pretty well entrenched and isn’t going anywhere soon. By using Australia as a reference, a pretty reasonable estimate of the cost can be established. Both countries have high GDPs and comparable urban/rural ratios. Starting in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s, it took Australia approximately 18 years to transition to the metric system. Their government spent around AUD 16 million doing this. However, this figure doesn’t represent the amount spent by corporations, which were expected to cover costs internally. Adjusting for inflation and conversion, this is roughly equivalent to USD 130 million. Most of this cost was relative to population size and road network size, which gives an average scale factor of eleven (The US having fourteen times the population and eight times the road network size). Now, without doing a full economic investigation, this value is likely only accurate in order of magnitude only, but that still leaves the cost at about USD 1.43 billion. This value doesn’t account for military transition or the vast technological advancements that have occurred in the last thirty or so years, but I think it’s safe to say that the US would rather save that money for their USD 598 billion military budget. Besides, most of the scientists and engineers in that country got sick of that shit years ago and have already made the jump.
Mum’s House
This week, we bring you a prime example of emotionally expressive, sensitive young men – along with a bunch of fuckwits who wear shorts in winter. This group of semiprofessional athletes love nothing more than a bit of light reading, catching up with mum, and neglecting to maintain an acceptable level of household hygiene.
She’s a gorgeous American who spent the last few summers restoring an old Corvette. He’s a rather jacked software engineer with a backlog of good chat. While this may sound like the start of a low budget rom-com, we can’t assure that you’ll still cry at the end. SHE SAID:
HE SAID:
Personally, I would consider myself a first date pro, but based on my non-stop quivering leading up to the meetup time, one would think I was a total rookie. I had never gone on a blind date before, so my expectations were rather low in contrast to my high hopes that Brad Pitt from Fight Club would be awaiting me at the bar. Though he wasnʻt a straight 10, his body was an easy 8.7, which clearly evident through his one-size too small flannel. You know that husband-material scent that lingers in the menʻs section of department stores?—yeah, he had that. He was a software engineer and I quickly made it apparent how much I do appreciate a good intellectual stimulation. Feeling more confident than Yeezy himself, I made eye contact with a few friends who had come in support of my personal act of bravery, and signaled me to come to the bathroom. I temporarily excused myself and met them in the hall, where we conversed in high pitched squeals and giggles. Coincidently, my date also felt the need to relief himself at the same time and unexpectedly walked straight into my group huddle of obnoxious girlfriends with faces bright red of laughter and embarrassment. Talk about major cringe alert...yikes. All in all, I had a wonderful date, the service was amazing and the environment was lit. My thirst was (mostly) quenched via several rounds of cocktails, and I definitely snagged his social media info at the end to leave the door open for future contact *winky face*. I mean, who knows; maybe he’s my soulmate. But for now, I’ll just be waiting for him to slide in those DMs as I vow to highly recommend the Blind Date experience to absolutely everyone for the rest of my day
The chilly Wednesday night started like every other. After a cold shower, some Wild Moose, and a nang, I was fresh and ready to head out. We arrived at basically the same time, and ordered some drinks to kick it off. A tall, pretty American/Honduran sat across from me, so I was pretty thrilled to get to know this exotic creature. I had plenty of questions so chatting was easy. She warned me early on she was a lightweight and gets chatty when drunk so I knew once the drinks got flowing it was going to be an interesting night. The conversation went through all the usual categories, uni, favorite food, music. She shared a common love for some similar music which was a big plus. She shared her love for BBQ sauce (is there anything more American?), and she mentioned her Corvette she spent three summers restoring, which made me think she was probably a double for Megan Fox in Transformers. It wasn’t long before she mentioned the group of friends from her hall that were also coming to house to keep an eye on her. I could definitely feel the gaze of them throughout the night (or maybe they were just randoms checking me out—I’ll never know?!?). Shout out to her friend who pretended to be the House™ waiter and gave us some free Jager shots, which I was more than happy to partake in. She seemed to struggle a bit with the shot, but for someone who wasn’t raised with Waikato binge drinking culture, I cut her some slack. As the bar tab dried up and final call went out, we caught an Uber back, exchanged Instagram follows and went our separate ways. Given that my usual town night was frothing in Backbar, I was a bit out of my element sipping a cocktail and wearing a collared shirt but I nonetheless had a great time.
Brought to you by House on Hood Street. If you’re keen for a Blind Date, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz
Leo (July 23-Aug 22) As Jupiter moves into your ninth house, uncertainty will rear its head. Follow your gut; those around you are used to your constant inability to get anything right. Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) The opportunity to lead arises, and you must grab it with both hands. Motivate your friends to try something new; intoxicated surfing is a great idea. Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) While pessimism might be running rife through your veins, try to keep your eye on silver linings. Despite the inevitability of failing Semester B, embrace the memories R’n’V will bring. Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) Coziness and self-care are essential this week. Wrap yourself up in bed and avoid the world, your friends are welladjusted to being ignored all the time anyway. Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) Scorching heats will emerge during this celestial period. Use your increased warmth to spice up the Insta feed, and take your pick of the multiple DMs that will follow. Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) Neptune is in retrograde and your determination may be sparse. Utilise your financial freedom to down a box, it’ll keep spirits high.
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Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) The relationship between body and mind shall be heightened as the moon passes. Ignore your burning desire and avoid questionable sexual endeavours, or you shall suffer from a different kind of burning. Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) Pluto in your seventh realm means communication is extra important. Put your talents for being passive aggressive to work and let your flatmates know how you really feel. Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) Bountiful investments will become available to you this week. Convince yourself that glory is yours for the taking, and swoop in on others’ success when the time is right. Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) As Saturn enters your fourth house of spirituality, pathways to success shall be revealed. Try not to become overwhelmed, and avoid your usual tactic of doing nothing – any choice will be better than your current downward spiral. Gemini (May 21-June 20) Your future will be at the forefront of all your decision making as Mars shifts in orbit. Perhaps work on your problematic personality traits in order to avoid being alone forever. Cancer (June 21-July 22) This celestial session is the time for decluttering. Sharpen your scissors and prepare to cut all forms of toxicity from your life; let go of bad friends and rebrand for the fifth time this year.
Keen for some free Burgerfuel? Simply snap us the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win. If you’ve accidentally sent us something you shouldn’t have, just email editor@nexusmag.co.nz with all the details. Prizes can be claimed from reception in the SUB (between Unimart and the gym). 39
Puzzles
CODE CRACKER 6
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DIFFICULT SUDOKU
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ALGE-BRUH
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MEDIUM SUDOKU
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Gutters Grass Human Flesh L Block Menstrual Cups
EASY SUDOKU
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Not many people know that these are actually made from potatoes! Scotch pie Stovies Vodka David Bain Up & Go
4
26
THEME:
Fries Chips Crisps Polenta Poutine
5
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WORDFIND
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SIMPLE PUZZLES FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE
on ry generati A non-bina O ls! WH free of labe RN TO FOR U T WILL THEY Y??? COMRADER
The ME ME ME Generation: Millennial s are lazy, entitled narcissists who still liv e with their parents
lennial l i m y h t l fi Match the liché, c r e m o o b to the baybouyby Listener Magazine
The New Teens: They're less rebellious but wi ll their lives be happy?
Coming of Sucks to Be Us! ope world age in a post-h
CROSSWORD
brought to
1
2
3
4
5
6
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ALGE-BRUH ANSWERS:
=
8
9
10
=
11
12
13
14
15
16
=
17
18
19
20
21
LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS:
= 11
= 11
WORD TWIST
I
P
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= 11
23
22
24
ACROSS:
DOWN:
1. Chronicle (7) 5. Proverb (5) 8. Graphic (5) 9. Cautionary advice (7) 10. Help grow and develop (7) 11. Free of impurities (5) 12. Neckband (6) 14. Systems of principles (6) 17. Hackneyed (5) 19. Facets (7) 21. Gullibility (7) 22. One of the senses (5) 23. Larceny (5) 24. Unprocessed or manufactured (7)
1. Oasis (5) 2. More than two or three but not many (7) 3. Of long duration (3) 4. Gaped (6) 5. Fruit (7) 6. Stage whisper (5) 7. Machines (7) 12. Piece of furniture (7) 13. Complaint (7) 15. Tooth (7) 16. Ravine formed by a river (6) 18. Racket (5) 20. Hex (5) 22. Toddler (3)
41