Nexus 2018 Issue 23 by Nexus Magazine

Page 1 Page 3 Page 4 Page 6 Page 12 Page 14 Page 16 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 22 Page 26 Page 28 Page 29 Page 31 Page 32

Editorial FOMO Easy News News Entertainment Reviews How to Fix Everything Pass the HDMI Rad Rags for Ladies and Lads Centrefold

09. Feature: The Big Campus Zhuzh Calendar Girl Pass the Aux Lonely Tarts Club Arts What Does Your Tinder Anthem Say About You? Page 34 Waikat' Flats Page 37 Blind Date Page 38 Horoscopes Page 39 Snapped Page 40 Puzzles

20. Issue 23, 1st â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5th October 2018

34.

Editor: Lyam Buchanan editor@nexusmag.co.nz Design: Vincent Owen design@nexusmag.co.nz Managing Editor: James Raffan james@wsu.org.nz Sub-Editor: Jennie-Louise Kendrick jen@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editor: Grace Mitchell grace@nexusmag.co.nz

Contributors: Scott Carroll, Conor Maxwell, Jared Ipsen, Kaitlin Stewart, Kim Sare, Jacqui Swney, Jennie-Louise Kendrick, Peter Dornauf, and the lovely Chix on Nix. Centrefold: Ryan Razon Instagram: @chancetheryan

News Editor: Alexander Nebesky alex@nexusmag.co.nz

Horoscope Illustrations: Josh Nelson Instagram: @joshprobably Twitter: @joshDrawbably

Reviews Editor: Archie Porter reviews@nexusmag.co.nz

Podcast Editor: Caleb Bird Instagram: @biobirdnz

Fuck, We’ve Got It Good This is something that gets done every few years. It’s arguably the biggest cliché of student media, but it’s something that still needs to be done. You’ll never have the opportunities you have now, you’ll never have a social life like you have now, you’ll never be able to get away with half of the shit decisions you currently make, and there sure as fuck will never be a time you look back on quite like this. But what the fuck do I know? I’m just another shitbag 21-year-old who’s spent the last four years basically locked in Hillcrest, someone who writes naughty words in a student magazine for the same reason men with receding hairlines attempt swishy fringes. There’s every chance that once this is all over, life won’t necessarily go downhill but thinking that we’re in the midst of the Golden Years™ is a foolish and naïve notion. One that most of us are probably lost in. Regardless, there’s nothing wrong with feeling this way, or for playing into this narrative, because despite how fucking cliché all of this is, it’s something so many of us take for granted. Taking personal finances out of the question, those of us who came here straight out of school, fucked around in the halls for a year before eventually stumbling into flats, are all in a fairly similar situation. Chances are, the majority of our mates all live in close proximity and it’s hard to imagine a weekend where you don’t end up having the same half-cut conversations with the exact same group of people. At the time, it seems like it’ll never end, but relationships at university are twice as fragile—and superficial—as those in high school. Halls are the greatest example of this. Everyone comes out of that with the tightest group of friends, a sense of invincibility, and views on how the world works that’ll be meaningless in less than a month. I barely talk to half the cunts I considered my best mates three years ago, and I’ll be surprised if I’m still in contact with the majority of those who fill that role now – neither of which are necessarily a bad thing. You’ll never have the chance to live this close to your mates, you’ll never be in another social situation where it’s acceptable to live like a complete sack, and there’ll sure as fuck never be a time where I’m quite as much of a cliché wankfest. At the end of issue 24 last year, I wrote that it wouldn’t get sappy just yet, but considering this is issue 71 of my 72-long reign, I’d like to think it’s justified. Take advantage, fuck around, and try not to regret too much.

– Lyam 1

Uni Merch Sale in Tauranga

For one day only, grab yourself some UoW-branded merchandise at clearance prices. Hoodies, jackets, t-shirts, and more. There will also be a limited number of heavily discounted event-branded items. Cash, Eftpos and credit card welcome. While stocks last. Uni merch can also be purchased from Level Two of the Gateway Building on the Hamilton campus. October 4, 11 am â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 2 pm outside A3 & A4, Windermere campus, Tauranga.

Need Help with Referencing?

Bring your assignment to a Library drop-in session to get advice on referencing and finding academic resources, plus learn how to use databases to get the results you want. No bookings necessary â&#x20AC;&#x201C; just show up in room M.2.23, Hamilton campus. See the dates and times at waikato.ac.nz/php/tsp/

Join Us at Our Postgraduate Fair

Interested in postgraduate study but not sure where to start? Join us on October 3 to learn about the wide variety of programmes available at Waikato and hear from current students and graduates who use their postgraduate study to make a world of difference. Visit events.waikato.ac.nz/events/postgraduate-fair for more information.

Tennis Court Resurfacing

The tennis/netball courts on the Hamilton campus are being resurfaced. The work is expected to be complete by mid-December. The courts will be unavailable during this time. We apologise for the inconvenience. 3

WEEKLY RECAP:

>100

Fraser High School Students stormed out of class last week in protest of comments regarding truancy.

1 week

has been given to Bedouin village residents on the West Bank by Israeli authorities before demolition of the settlement begins.

rural workers in Brazil were rescued by local authorities from a coffee plantation that supplies coffee beans to Starbucks. The workers were kept in conditions akin to slavery.

New Zealanders have tested positive for superbug CPE; a bacteria which deactivates a powerful group of antibiotics.

~$400 1.

A Chinese hospital ship docked at the Venezuelan port of La Guaira will begin treating locals this week free of charge. The ship’s visit was organised during Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro’s trip to China earlier in the month. Confirming what we all already knew, a newly-published study from economist Yu-Wei Luke Chu shows little correlation between medical marijuana use and crime. Medical marijuana laws have no bearing on actual crime rates. Two British D-Day Veterans Bill Cowley and Ron Trenchard were awarded the Légion d’Honneur last week in a ceremony in Warwickshire. The duo received France’s highest honour for their roles in the daring and historic amphibious landings of June 1944.

worth of bongs were confiscated by University of Otago Proctor Dave Scott who allegedly entered a student flat without permission and found the ‘water pipes’ on the table.

$25,000

was donated to the owner of Whakamana Cannabis Museum to pursue persecution of the UoO following the bong confiscation.

NEWS

Tech of the Week Logitech K600

It is a keyboard designed to control your smart TV, computer, or any other gadget you can be bothered to sync it with. Featuring an analogue trackpad, specialised macro keys, and a directional pad, it’s all just what you’d expect. Don’t worry about keeping a stockpile of AA batteries though, it’s said to have a battery life of 12 months. • Why you should buy this: Flex on standard remote plebs with your big ol’ keyboard remote hybrid. • Why you shouldn’t buy this: You could just use a normal remote and save $140.

From the Archive

Nexus Magazine – 1994 5

NEWS

The Fraser High School Article I Wrote That The Spinoff Will Hopefully Publish [They Did] JARED IPSEN I wagged school a lot as a teenager. Dealing with heavy anxiety and depression, trying to juggle the enormous social pressures of being a puny, bi, creative type at an all-boys school and looming exams I knew I’d fail, I would duck across the rugby field in between classes and find sanctuary wandering around the CBD. At that time, there were no youth centres in Hamilton. High school just wasn’t an environment I felt safe in. And, if you look at the stats, I wasn’t the only one feeling that way. A recent Ministry of Education report found that only 63% of students attended school regularly in 2017. That means a whopping 37% of our young people didn’t find belonging or refuge inside of their high schools, 6

and ended up with whoever would take them in. Of course, there are heaps of factors that contribute to this – but it’s pretty clear that, by and large, our current model of schooling just doesn’t work for our rangatahi. By now, you probably would have heard about the video of Hamilton Fraser High School Principal Virginia Crawford’s speech to her students, which contained a number of problematic opinions, including a correlation between wagging school and being raped (if anyone can find the report on this, please send it through). While her intentions behind what I can only describe as an absolute tirade may have been sound, and probably came from a place of deep care and frustration, the prevailing attitude

that young people are just little shits that want to ditch school and buy fish and chips speaks to a complete non-understanding of the complex issues teenagers face in today. If you have a look at the comment section of the speech on YouTube, those who are shocked and hurt by Virginia’s speech are almost equally matched by voices from the next generation whinging about ‘snowflakes’ being ‘overly PC’. There is a massive difference between being offended by every little thing, and being told that you’re going to be “cast aside and dumped without any worthwhile future” if you miss your maths class every once in a while. Are these students really wrong for feeling gutted about the opinions their teachers hold of them?

NEWS

As a youth worker at a local charity, we see more and more young people coming through our doors in tears; disillusioned and utterly broken by their school. Technology and social issues have escalated at breakneck speed, but it doesn’t seem like our education system has made any attempt to keep up. Our nation’s teenagers, with their passions and dreams and hope for the future, are being forced to fit into an intellectual box where anything outside of it is not accepted. Don’t cope well with exams? You must be stupid. Find it difficult to deal with social situations? You aren’t normal. Struggling with mental health issues inside a system that doesn’t cater to your needs or even admit they exist? Harden up, pussy. It’s no wonder New Zealand has, by far, the highest rate of youth suicide in the OECD. The classic Kiwi attitude of ‘she’ll be right’ may have worked for the last generation, but honestly, we’re fucking struggling. The people at schools who we have entrusted with our biggest asset, our young people, are speaking down to them from podiums and

stages; telling them that if they don’t attend school 100% of the time, or tuck their shirts in, they’ll amount to nothing. Add that to the pressures of constant judgement and performance through social media, and the slim chances of getting a job after graduating – why wouldn’t you feel hopeless? I’m not trying to slander Virginia Crawford or the staff at Fraser High; being a teacher isn’t an easy job. I don’t believe that she doesn’t care about her students; she wouldn’t have addressed them all this way if she didn’t. We just need to take a step back and look at how the beliefs we hold about our young people shape their opinions of themselves. We need to seriously rethink the way we treat our rangatahi in this country. We need to do something—anything—to stop our teenagers from killing themselves. We need to look at the schooling system we’ve put together that clearly isn’t working. We need to rethink what ‘tough love’ really looks like. Our country is in crisis, and we need to work harder to keep our people alive and motivated so they can carry us into the future.

International research shows that effective education comes from a safe place where teenagers feel secure. If home isn’t a safe place, and their community isn’t a safe place, their school needs to be in order for them to thrive. Do you want to keep a young person engaged in their schooling? Base their curriculum around their passions and interests, rather than the current ‘one size fits all’ approach. Allow more space to their struggle and pain, and come from a place of understanding, rather than ignorance. Realise that every generation says their parents don’t ‘get’ them, but this might be the first one where that’s actually true. At the youth centre where I work, we’ve found that fostering creativity in young people can be a life-changing thing. The Circle of Courage model we’ve adopted has shown us, time and time again, that through a sense of belonging and mastery of their chosen skill, young people are transformed from passive consumers into active contributors in their community. The first place to start is providing a place for them to belong. 7

NEWS

Confessions in Conversation “Post Secrets” is a WSU initiative hoping to encourage conversations surrounding mental health, and provide a secure space for students to share their burdens. The confessions have been on display at the Library for the past week, and will hopefully still be hanging around for another. We managed to track down the creators of this instalment to get the inside scoop. What’s the purpose? I think there is this invincible power in knowing that you’re being heard and listened to. To be acknowledged and understood. It’s not necessarily confessions that we’re after, but more of unheard stories – burdens weighing you down, that you feel afraid to share. I especially love poetry and art, because it is people sharing their heart in a creative way. I think this exhibition is a way for us to creatively share our heart for wellbeing to the students at Waikato, in a way that would get people to pause, and to listen. The purpose of this is just to get the ball rolling. To spark the fire; to get a conversation started. NEXUS: What are you hoping to achieve? NEXUS: C:

C: I’d like to see a stronger student culture here at the University of Waikato that cares about people. I believe that this stage of youth is so essential and full of potential for great things, but often, we are blindsided by the small and superficial things that really do not matter. I hope that the conversation does not end after we take down the postcards, but that it continues to spread and grow to other bigger and more creative wellbeing projects. I also hope that this doesn’t encourage shared negativity, but rather, a community of support and positivity. NEXUS: Why do you believe we’re still in an environment where anonymity is so essential? C: There is a stigma to mental

health and wellbeing. People are afraid to be vulnerable; to appear weak, to be asking for help, and to be judged by others. So am I. But there’s greater strength in being vulnerable. It’s authentic and honest—and it might not work all the time—but sometimes, you may be pleasantly surprised by what you get when you are honest. The truth might just set you free. NEXUS: How do you believe the response has been so far? C: I internally jump with joy when I see someone alone in the booth writing their heart out or someone deep in thought, reading the exhibit board for ages. ‘It’s working!’, I yell in my mind, and I nearly can’t stop myself from smiling silly. It has honestly been so cool, and the response better than I imagined.

NEWS

I’ve noticed people surrounding the board, and I’ve overheard passing conversations. To be honest, it really warms my heart when I hear feedback such as ‘someone needed to do this’, or ‘wow, that is so heartbreaking, I’m going to write something encouraging to them’. One person said that it was eyeopening, that anyone in passing could be going through a really difficult moment, you’d almost never know – and it made him want to open his eyes and ears more; to see beyond the smiles. Not surprisingly, there has also been some not so positive responses. Some people took it as a joke and posted unkind responses or piss-take secrets. As much as I enjoy the banter, I also think that there is an appropriate time and place for everything. NEXUS: Are there any trends in the confessions you’ve received? C: There were some pretty dark secrets of suicidal thoughts and depression, secrets that we really wished we knew who wrote – so that we could help them or give them support. It really breaks my heart to listen to these secrets and not be able to help. We were nervous about displaying them on the board, but we knew we had to, in order to present an accurate picture of what people were feeling. If you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or in need of any support, reach out to the following services: • UoW Student Counselling Service: 07 838 4037 • Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 • WSU Advocacy and Support: support@wsu.org.nz

Message Mendacity Muddies Massive Messy Massey Manawatū Muck-up ALEXANDER NEBESKY Massey University ViceChancellor Jan Thomas has come under fire since emails about an impending event featuring a speech by Former National Party Leader and leader of the Hobson’s Pledge organisation Don Brash on campus were released under the Official Information Act. Thomas originally claimed that Brash had been banned from Massey’s Manawatū campus as a response to a thinly-veiled threat sent to the university the day before the event. However, Thomas’ email correspondence revealed that she considered cutting funding to the students’ association and clubs if they decided to proceed with an event and failed to voluntarily cancel it. Earlier this month, NZUSA President Jonathan Gee, in a press release, characterized the attempts to ban Brash as an example of silencing debate: ‘We should be able to have robust debate on campus with people we disagree with, including our university leaders. But to consider cutting funding to a

group that disagrees with your actions is just foul play.’ Brash has made headlines recently for comments many have considered racially insensitive—if not just outright racist—and his talk on free speech and debate in Auckland was noisily protested by students who felt his message was not welcome. Brash has since been invited by the Politics Society at Massey to deliver a speech in October. ‘If I’m banned again, I will be thoroughly pissed off’. NZUSA also expressed their disappointment that Thomas’ actions have broken the trust of students, and that she has misled the Chair of Academic Board, who are, in part, the guardians of the University’s role of being society’s critic and conscience. ‘Two wrongs do not make a right. Threatening cuts to funding key student services in order to get what you want is not fair game. Everybody loses,’ says Jason Woodroofe, Albany Students’ Association President.

NEWS

Improved Mental Health Services on Campus LYAM BUCHANAN The University of Waikato has hired a Mental Health Nurse (MHN) to serve as the initial point of contact for students experiencing concerns about their mental health and wellness. To find out a bit more about their role on campus, we sat down with Associate Director of Student Health Kellee Hodge to get the full lowdown. NEXUS: What does this role entail and how will it benefit the student body? KH: They will work individually with students experiencing mental illness, crisis, difficulties coping, or other struggles related to mental illness or mental wellbeing. The MHN will assess and refer students to other oncampus specialist services, such as Student Health, Counselling, and Accessibility Services; as well as appropriate off-campus external agencies. They will help students who have experienced mental illness, that has required them to take time away from the University, to re-engage with their studies. The MHN will provide training and staff development opportunities to increase institutional capacity to respond to student’s mental health needs. Liaising and training is expected to occur within the University’s student accommodation facilities, 10

student support services, and with academic faculty and tutors, along with other opportunities that may arise. NEXUS: Is this a Hamiltonexclusive role or will Tauranga receive the same? KH: The role will be Hamiltonbased, with the expectation of regular support provided to staff in Tauranga, including the Tauranga nurse, and for comparable training and staff development opportunities to be offered in both Hamilton and Tauranga. NEXUS: When is this position expected to be filled and when can students utilise the service? KH: The position is filled by an experienced community mental health nurse named Courtney. She will be taking up her post on October 23. Her first two weeks will be spent across campus, becoming familiar with diverse points of contact for students and staff such as the WSU, tutors, halls of residence, the health services etc. As it is expected the role will encompass one-on-one support, as well as wider-university support, she will likely have office hours that students can drop in and see her, or make an appointment. Students can begin accessing her in early November, and I will ensure notices of how to

reach her are sent out as soon as that information is available. NEXUS: What problems is this position hoping to remedy? KH: I have received consistent feedback from across the campus community since I began at the University that student mental health is a concern for both students, and those who support students such as the WSU, Student Services and Faculties. This role was created to provide added resources and expertise around student mental health, and to increase one-on-one and crisis support available to students. It is also intended to address a need staff have raised to increase their capacity in identifying and supporting students experiencing mental health concerns, and provide a simple ‘first point of contact’ to the university community regarding mental health concerns.

NEWS

Hitlist: 1080 Protesters One of the most beautiful things about Western democracy is freedom of speech. It doesn’t matter if what you say is a bit nasty, if what you believe is a bit kooky, or if what you get out on the street and march for is so pantson-head stupid, it’s a wonder you can get enough people in out to wave signs about it. Like antivaxxers. If you’re an anti-vaxxer, you’re a dipshit. But this isn’t about them; this is about ban-1080 protesters. This is about the strange and ungodly assortment of long-haired hippies, concerned and worrisome housewives, and superhuman outdoorsmen who think it’s possible to trap every inch of native forest no matter how dense or inaccessible it is. The ban-1080 movement is riddled with erroneous claims of ineffectiveness and severe

exaggerations of negative effects. They appeal to the antiauthoritarian vein that runs through similar movements like anti-vaxxers or flat-earthers. What is the Government hiding? Why are they poisoning our country? Why can’t we just trap all the possums? University of Waikato Professor Dr Allison Campbell’s article titled ‘Science & 1080’, posted on BioBlog, challenges many of the claims made by the rowdy and aggressive anti-1080 lobby. Dr Campbell asserts that trapping doesn’t prevent pests outside the trapped areas from recolonising trapped areas and that laying traps throughout the entirety of New Zealand’s native forest is an impossible Herculean task. In dismissing some of the common misconceptions about the pest control method, with evidence from referenced peer-

reviewed articles, Dr Campbell states that 1080 is effective in controlling possums and other mammalian pests—as been shown by a Parliamentary Commission for the Environment—but it does not poison water sources or bees. Thanks to the work of Sue Grey—who truly only needs a tinfoil hat to complete her look— the 1080 protest movement has become a writhing, monstrous, fleshy mass of nastiness co-opting and exploiting unrelated news to further their anti-science, anticommon sense agenda. Nothing we could write will convince the diehard anti-1080 folks at our University but, as a place of higher education, we would hope there aren’t enough of you for anyone to care. If there are, feel free to picket the Nexus office.

Crush of the Week: Soul Patches Are you a greasy pest that yearns to be called daddy ? This is the essential tuft of hair for any self-respecting skux looking to adorn their lower lip. Sporting a dirty mo was definitely a moment, but it’s time to move on – there’s really nothing quite like a sliver of chin carpet to bolster your chances of finding true love.

What’s Hot: •

Tactically passing out by 9 pm so you can get a good night’s sleep

•

Using Deep Heat to spice up your love life

•

WMSSA coming through with yet another Wine & Cheese

•

Reading up on the candidates for the 2019 WSU Student Board and voting based on informed decisions

Clickbait Moodboard: Theme: Preparing for the upcoming exam season.

What’s Not:

•

Simon Bridges saying National would be an ally in Donald Trump’s “War on Drugs”

•

Mondays, am I right? (cred: @ kendrah.rae)

•

Thrush cream

•

Basing your votes for the 2019 WSU Student Board on which candidates you find attractive

TOP 10:

Things Middle-Aged People Say ‘Haha check this out bro honestly it’s so funny!’

‘Aw haha yeah, I think I’ve seen this one before ay’. An acquaintance of ‘meme enthusiast’ remains straight-faced while watching yet another vague attempt at humour. ‘Haha fuck where do you even find these bro? Classic haha!’

Caring About the MGK v Eminem ‘Beef’ Clear Sign of Undiagnosed Learning Disabilities

‘OHHH SHIT MGK just got BTFO!!! Eminem still got it YOOO THE RAP GOD LIVES ON ’. Recent studies have also shown a correlation between heavy substance abuse during pregnancy and strong opinions on irrelevant musicians.

Management Students Question Choice of Degree After Posting yet Another Survey

‘Hey, guys! If you’ve got a spare two minutes, it’d be amazing if you could take the time to fill out this survey, it’ll really help my degree and I’ll forever be appreciative! Thanks, team https://waikato.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/ Pl_3AsEH3LPiReG_R3tEV3rYTH1nG’

Disclaimer: Here at Nexus, we’re all about respecting our elders, though it looks like Deputy Editor Grace Mitchell must be in a bit of a tiff with her parental figures this week. We take no responsibility for her mean spirited actions, any complaints can be directed to grace@ nexusmag.co.nz. (Linda, we still love you; even if Grace is being a little stroppy). 1. ‘I saw this thing on Facebook the other day…’ you may have just gotten your head around social media, but please don’t take every clickbait article so seriously, Karen. 2. They’ll tell you about farfetched, very distant family connections to any kind of famous person. Does this also make them important, in their mind? 3. ‘Pardon my French,’ when swearing in front of people, like that negates the following ‘fuck off’ or something. 4. ‘Haven’t you grown?!’ I mean, does this come as a surprise? And even at 20, why do older relatives say this every time they see us? 5. ‘Ooh, I better not,’ when clearly eyeing up the last sausage roll, hoping to be convinced. 6. ‘Everybody say cheese!’ whilst taking an already sufficiently cheesy picture. 7. Making a faux-painful noise when being told the price of an item. The real pranksters might joke about being robbed. 8. ‘I’m going to hit the hay,’ then preceding to go to sleep on what is, in fact, a memory foam mattress. 9. ‘When I was your age…’ followed by launching into an exaggeration on their childhood hardship. 10. ‘Your generation is lazy; you all just need to go get jobs.’ That’s kind of the point of being at university. You can’t just walk into any job and a $20,000 house anymore, didn’t anyone tell you?

Reviews

File

View

Options

Collapse

Dog On It

album. doc

Book

COLLAPSE – APHEX TWIN REVIEW: ARCHIE PORTER

DOG ON IT – SPENCER QUINN (PETER ABRAHAMS) REVIEW: SCOTT CARROLL

At this point in time, Richard D. James’ career as Aphex Twin has been gargantuan. After a 13-year hiatus and a scattered collection of EPs varying in quality, it feels as though the Cornish electronicguru has been building up to something potentially spectacular. His latest EP, Collapse, doesn’t quite hit the peaks of his earlier work in the ‘90s – but it’s certainly a step in the right direction. The EP starts immediately and intensely with ‘T69 Collapse’. Brimming with whirling synth notes and a lightly stuttering beat, the song, at first, bears similarity to James’ earlier works. Around two minutes in, however, the track changes entirely, veering into a much darker territory. The droning synths ominously wail in the background as the drum pattern mutates into a chaotic explosion of crashes and kicks. It’s invigorating stuff, and thankfully, the following tracks follow similar jarring tonal shifts. The second track, ‘1st 44’, is one of the strongest on here, utilising eerie and distorted vocals lifted from a live version of The Specials’ ‘Guns of Navarone’, placed atop the swirling hums of bass and bubbling percussion. ‘MT1 t29r2’ is another incredible cut of Aphex’s typical IDM, and perhaps the most unpredictable song on Collapse – continuously shifting in tone and tempo similar to the opener, but in a much more accentuated fashion. While it’s not quite as groundbreaking as his earlier records, Collapse is the strongest release since Aphex’s comeback and another fantastic addition to his already mesmerizing discography.

r.png

v.jpeg

Dog On It is essentially a buddy-cop crime novel by writer and dog-fanatic ‘Spencer Quinn’; a pseudonym for Peter Abrahams. The first entry into his epic Chet & Bernie Mysteries, Dog On It tells a rather mundane story with a quirky spin. Chet, the perceptive and trusty canine companion of P.I. Bernie, narrates this tale with an almost amusing lack of criticism or reflection towards the world around him. Bernie, down on his luck and taking what he can for work, is above reproach in Chet’s eyes, all that matters are the sensations of the moment: the thrill of the chase, the scent of a tasty morsel, his eagerness to please. Everything is so caught up in the dog’s perspective that anything outside of it becomes redundant and forgettable. The plot is dull, and most of the characters outside of Chet and Bernie’s relationship offer nothing of substance. You know not long after the first few chapters how the book will end. It’s easy to burn through this book in a couple of days if you’re dying for a mediocre crime thriller/ detective book. Chet’s narration is cute enough to keep you reading but at the end of the day, go watch something like Turner & Hooch instead.

e_02. eps

s.jpeg

reviews images

videogame. html

16:42

Urinetown

music. xml

Album MILLION DOLLARS TO KILL ME – JOYCE MANOR

reviews. css

Theatre e_01. eps

i.tiff

w.png

film.doc

tv-review-final.doc

A bunch of ‘sad-lads’ get sentimental, angsty, and a little passionate… again.

URINETOWN – BOLD THEATRE, METEOR THEATRE REVIEW: CONOR MAXWELL

If there are three things I love in this world, it’s musicals, puns, and theatre that breaks the fourth wall, so Bold Theatre’s debut production, Urinetown, appealed to me instantly. Set in an apocalyptic future where a decades-long water shortage has caused the Urine Good Company to charge people to go to the toilet in order to regulate water, the musical is a constant battle between the tragic subject matter, and the comic writing and presentation; with comedy almost always coming out on top. The premise is ridiculous, but the musical is cleverly narrated by one Officer Lockstock, who acknowledges the script’s unusual occurrences and leaps of logic to hilarious effect. What takes place on stage is probably best described as a semiromantic dramedy which both promotes and criticises communism, and features so much talk of piss and water that I really wish I had gone to the bathroom before the show started. Urinetown features an energetic and standout chorus, as well as a talented lead cast, with notable performances by Antony Aiono as hero-of-the-people Bobby Strong, Julia Watkins as cubicle custodian Penelope Pennywise, K. M. Adams as the loveable yet despicable Officer Lockstock, and Anika Hayes as wide-eyed orphan Little Sally. Urinetown is a pee-utiful production, and you’ll be pissed if you don’t see it!

TV AMERICAN VANDAL SEASON 2 This shit absolutely slaps.

Album GENERATION RX – GOOD CHARLOTTE Who the fuck thought this would be a good idea?

Single VENICE BITCH – LANA DEL REY Just another ‘coming of age’ sepia shitfest. Fairly wholesome; fairly lowkey.

music. doc

Have You Heard Of Zeal? Yeah, Isn’t It A Church Or Something? JARED IPSEN I don’t think I’ve written anything about Zeal, the youth centre I work at, for Nexus this year. Maybe a few offhand mentions here and there, but I’ve tried not to talk about who we are. I didn’t want it to seem like I was just using this platform for my own gain or sound like I was just trying to sound cool – but I’ve run out of ideas for articles, so here we are. All opinions are my own and don’t represent Zeal as a whole (sorry, Elliot). Zeal is a youth centre down Ward Lane, tucked behind Starbucks, endless construction and constant near-crashes from the cars that use the lane as a shortcut (there aren’t any speed limit signs or mirrors). Our goal as an organisation is to positively impact every young New Zealander through creativity. We’ve been here for the past three years or so; catering to the rangatahi of our city through all ages gigs, creative courses (photography, event management, barista and audio engineering), free afterschool hangouts, and Raro. What really drew me into the job was being able to provide a space where music could exist. When you’re a young person in Hamilton, being in a band isn’t easy. There isn’t anywhere you can practice, and it’s really hard to find shows that you can play. As a teenager trying to get into the music scene, the only venues that would take a chance on a bunch of 15-year-olds playing metalcore were churches. I’m grateful that we were able to use those spaces, but I always felt like we were leaving out kids that weren’t Christian or had bad experiences with a church. We needed somewhere where young people weren’t just tolerated, they were celebrated. A place that could welcome anyone, regardless of who they were or what they were in to. Somewhere where you 16

could hang out, use computers and cameras and music gear and shit. So a few years ago, a group of people wrangled money from anywhere they could find it and converted an old warehouse into a youth centre. The Zeal building, which has been unofficially dubbed as the “Black Castle,” also is home to other local groups; Waikato Queer Youth, IDEA Services, and Te Ahurei a Rangatahi. Even though we’ve been around for a bit, we still have a few struggles. Attendance for shows in Hamilton is low. Sometimes, I come up against the perception that Zeal is just a church thing (we’re motivated by Christian ethics, but we’re a pretty diverse bunch that believe in a lot of different things). We don’t sell alcohol or ever have any in the building, so we rely on door sales at shows to break even. There’s always a lot of shit to do (unclogging the toilets, putting buckets under the leaks in the roof, helping people get out of the lift when it gets stuck). Despite all that, it’s still a pretty good gig, and even if one young person came to a gig and thought it was cool, we’ve done our job. This semester is almost over—I assume—and some of you might be finishing your study and having no idea what you want to do with your life (I didn’t). As someone who quit their 40 hour a week job for a 16 hour one—and still continues to make terrible financial decisions—I feel like I can offer some advice from my life: it’s better to be poor doing what you love than to be slightly less poor, working to advance a company you don’t really believe in. Sometimes, doing the difficult thing can be the most meaningful. It worked out alright for me, anyway.

NEW PODCAST ON SOUNDCLOUD.COM/NEXUSMAG

Underrated Masterpieces ARCHIE PORTER You’re probably on the wrong page, just skip this – I won’t be offended. I’ll be honest with you; chances are, you probably won’t like these films. They’re either old, strange, disturbing or all those qualities. However, I love them, and in terms of film as a medium, the examples below pushed cinema forward with their experimentalism, originality, inventiveness, and their will to deviate from normality – or, at least, I think so. But what the hell do I know? ANGST

(1983)

–

DIRECTED

GERALD

KARGL:

French director Gaspar Noé described this film as “the rarest unknown masterpiece of cinema,” and he’s not far off. The film’s narrative is relatively basic: an unnamed serial killer is released from prison. Shortly after, he begins exacting his sadistic fantasies on a family in a secluded house. Despite this somewhat simple setup, director Gerald Kargl does a fantastic job at keeping the audience thoroughly engaged through his unconventional stylistic techniques. The cinematography throughout the film—largely inspiring Noé’s Enter the Void—is utterly fantastic. Kargl frequently utilises high-angles, almost giving the impression that the viewer is an overseer; like we’re witnessing something we should not be seeing. It’s an extreme watch, but well worth it. BADLANDS (1973) – DIRECTED BY TERRENCE MALICK:

Terrence Malick gets a lot of flak. Sure, despite the gorgeous Voyage of Time, his last few films have been, 18

well, pretty shit. At times, his films veer off course, favouring pretty shots of trees and fields over plot progression. However, his first feature film, Badlands, is a brilliant crime drama that’s surprisingly subversive for its time. The film, set in 1959, follows a troubled greaser and his 15-year-old girlfriend, as they embark on a killing spree across the gorgeous backdrop of the South Dakota Badlands. It’s an incredibly subjective film, laced with dark humour and a bittersweet relationship between the lead characters. As well as this, it remains one of Malick’s most visually stunning and cohesive works in his filmography. ON

THE

SILVER

GLOBE

(1988)

–

DIRECTED

This rare masterpiece of sciencefiction is a pain in the ass to track down. It was recently restored at the Film Society of Lincoln Center, though it’s still virtually impossible to obtain physically due to the film being unfinished because production was halted in 1977 when the vice-minister of cultural affairs in Poland shut down the film. He viewed it as an allegory for the political struggles in the country, but really, the film concerns far more than that. It’s truly unforgettable, and one of the most challenging, disturbing, and inventive films I’ve ever seen. I won’t bother summing up the plot, because it’s too difficult to compress it – just know that if you get the chance to see the film, you’ll be rewarded with a sprawling, dazzling sci-fi epic. ANDRZEJ ZULAWSKI:

Not Your Norm KAITLIN STEWART I’ve talked about trends, styles, brands all of which are incredibly mainstream and well-known. However, I find this incredibly exclusive to a small number of people. There is such a large variety of weird and wonderful scenes and subcultures around the world that somehow miss the all-important algorithm. And as a result of my ignorance to anything beyond my Instagram feed, I’m not often exposed to it all. However, it’s time to finally seek out something different, but due to my word count, only two of which I discovered could be incorporated. So please enjoy this quick list of sick subcultures. The first one I find particularly fascinating is the Harajuku culture. Harajuku is a district in bustling Tokyo. Most well-known for its buzzing, eccentric fashion scene – one of the biggest in the world. It does not define different styles but is instead a hub of creativity. However, sub-cultures change, develop or die off very quickly with the likes of Harajuku Girls, Lolitas and Visual Keis are dying down due to the rise of big name brands. Despite these subcultures fading away, their influence on the fashion scene remains prominent. Lolitas brought petticoats, high knee socks and the innocent girl style in vogue. I have not been to Japan and, unfortunately, taking one university paper learning the language does not make me an expert. Tokyofashion is an amazing website to visit to gain a better insight into everything I’ve attempted to talk about. May even be an incredible source of inspiration. South Korea, I would say, is one of the leading countries in fashion. Trends begin here and when they slowly go out of style, the US scoops them up and feeds the leftovers to the rest of us. To define an entire country’s fashion will only result in massive generalisations. So the biggest industry which creates the most influence on its consumers is K-Pop which has a distinct style. From Girls Generation member Gee promoting neon jeans, which, of course, became the biggest trend at the time of its release, to girl group Black Pink which is my favourite fashion-wise. They mix femininity and grunge with high-end items, often decked out in Gucci. Korean music may not be a bit of you but the fashion is amazing. Be sure to dig a little deeper into the phase that will slowly take over the world.

Throughout the year, we had talked about the proposed Med School and The Pā, hinted at a student bar, and flat-out demanded the astroturfing of the green. Then, in true Nexus fashion, we moved on and stopped caring; instead, devoting all our time to rat labs and ruining your sudoku. Like most WSU directors, we woke up on Monday with the sudden and paralysing realisation that we had promised to do a lot, left it all to the last minute, and will be out of a job next week. As we worked through the to-do list of priorities that included Aotearoa Student Press Nominations, our final blind date, lying on our CVs, and sending replacement bongs to disaffected Otago University breathers, we came across a folder that read ‘Super Cool and Also Interesting Campus Developments’. So now we are going to quickly revisit some of the projects that you should probably care about. Giving you a little insight into what Vice-Chancellor Neil Quigley and Senior Deputy Vice-Chancellor Alister Jones suggest might happen, and having yet another substantial whinge about the University not keeping to its word. 22

The Village Green

It’s only fitting for the central meeting place of campus to get a bit of a zhuzh, though, at this point, it’s all still up in the air. One of the major changes was the proposed turfing of the Village Green. This had even gone as far as consultation with staff on which type of fake lawn they felt best represented Waikato. However, WSU President Candra Pullon has since confirmed that ‘this is no longer happening’, as the Facilities Management Division of campus will now instead focus on fixing the drainage of the Green so it’s not a complete mud pit for 80% of the year.

The Old ANZ Building

Again, something very up in the air. Since ANZ left, we’ve mainly seen it empty, though it has occasionally been used as storage, and even once featured as a popup op shop. It makes sense that Pita Pit and/or Dezigner Hair would fill this space – business surely couldn’t be thriving in their current environment. Alistair and Neil tend to agree; ‘Yeah, I mean, their current location doesn’t seem great, they would be better at the lakefront’, ‘Well, we haven’t come to an agreement yet, but that would be ideal, so nothing wrong with suggesting that might be a good idea’. With nothing set in stone, there’s really nothing to go off, regardless we asked for a quote from Candra to beef this up a bit, ‘I think it’s a missed opportunity to have more student focussed retail down by the Student Hub’.

The Student Bar

The flawless remedy to Waikato student culture – though, sadly, it’s the biggest example of the

University being “all talk”. WSU President Candra says ‘it’s been a priority all year, but there’s been no effort to push it forward because of all the other capital plans’. However, Neil and Alister believe that once The Pā is operating—along with its retail facilities—that Oranga could become the new student bar, or at least ‘...in the long term’. ‘I think it’s pretty obvious; Oranga is the perfect space for a bar. You know the Don doesn’t really work—it’s too far away—so yeah, having Oranga as a sort of café/bar would be ideal and, of course, is a great location in the summer. [We] might even be able to get someone to open it on the weekend because there’s a lot of people around on the weekend so they could sell food and the likes’.

The Pā

This and the Medical School are the big ticket items, and not only are they causing the most controversy but they’re proving hardest to get across the line. Back in Issue 13, we got proper in depth with this project by sitting down with the Director of Regional Engagement Joe Macfarlane. We got the full lowdown on the entire development, along with the inside scoop on student consultation which has been overwhelmingly positive. Other than a few disagreements in relation to the commercial kitchen, along with a sizable—and somewhat unjustified— whinge from the TEU, everything has been chugging along as it should. So, when will we actually see the start of this all? Quigley and Jones told us ‘Well, as soon as we’ve got permission, I’d like to get the tender out but I think we get the tender in two parts so we can let the ground works start first and then continue 23

to design the building… but, hopefully, it will be next year and we [can] get some of the groundworks started before it starts to rain…’ If you’re keen to find out a bit more about The Pā project, the University will have displays in the Library detailing the design, purpose, location etc. Otherwise, just flick back to Issue 13 for a quick rundown.

The Medical School

Now, this was meant to be our big ticket item – Auckland and Otago did wonders by fueling the flame with their narcissistic ways, but, sadly, that still wasn’t enough to stop this from completely falling off the radar. The last time we had any kind of substantial update on this was back in the middle of March, and all we really gathered from this, was having some of the funding pulled wasn’t ‘a bad thing’ and if you desperately wanted to attend it, your graduation would occur somewhere around 2032. Though, due to the current questionable state of health care in New Zealand, Quigley is quietly confident. ‘There’s 3-day queues to see a GP outside of the main centres. So, the media keeps delivering stories that a third medical school is needed… when you’re walking around Wellington, people are more willing to have a discussion on this than they were six months ago; they say there is more active engagement but there are no decisions’.

The SUB

CONCEPT ARTWORK FOR THE PĀ AND STUDENT UNION BUILDING DEVELOPMENT PROJECTS

Perhaps, the most significant development is what is happening to our very own Students’ Union Building. The WSU and the Uni cut a deal in some back room to swap Level Zero—and its associated wind tunnel—for a modern upgrade to the SUB Basement. The new basement is going to include new student social spaces, booths, a stage, a proper kitchen, and a new guru room for clubs and bookable events. With good reason, the WSU is fairly fucking stoked – the idea of cheapish coffee, and providing spaces where you can take a break without hating yourself is absolutely ideal. At current, the entire building is a decaying shitfest so it’s definitely overdue. WSU President Candra Pullon said ‘The redesign is something that the SUB has needed for many years, and we’re really excited that it’s finally happening. For us, this is step one in what will eventually be the student precinct on campus. The plan is to reclaim full use of the SUB, as well as having more student-focused functions in the Oranga building and along the retail strip – maybe we’ll even see a bar there soon!’

Festival Season KIM SARE Festivals are a big part of summer in NZ; especially for us young and irresponsible uni students. What better way to spend your break than out in the sunshine listening to some tunes with your mates? Unfortunately, it is way too common for these special occasions to turn into a bit of a shitshow filled with too much alcohol, sunshine, and hormonal imbalance. This is just your friendly reminder to take care of yourself while still having some fun and getting on the rark. It’s all about finding the balance! When festival season hits, comfort is key. Four day-long benders are hard enough as is without feeling uncomfortable in your own skin. Sure, you want to be trendy and look good in the millions of snaps you’ll take with your mates, but at what cost? I’m the first to admit that I know jack all about fashion so all I can say is dress for your stature/style and you’ll rock any look. How can you look good with zero confidence? Sure, crop tops and printed button-downs may be the go-to aesthetic, but if that’s not your cup of tea then branch out! The ruckus that occurs at our summer festivals provides more than enough reason to stop conforming to societal rules, so do what feels right. Camping is, unfortunately, part and parcel of most festivals. This glorious form of accommodation 26

is often a necessary struggle so you can see a random assortment of musical acts. The only way to avoid being surrounded by a bunch of high as a kite punters is if you insist on renting a house because you “need to shower” – a choice often hindered by lack of moolah or lack of available spaces. If you find yourself stuck in the campground, the first thing you’ll need is a tent – might I suggest investing in a cheap and most likely useless tent? While you’re at it, stock up on bargain sleeping bags and mattresses too. Surrounded by hundreds of other crazy and very intoxicated young people means the survival chances of your “accommodation” are slim to none. Endeavour to spend little so that when you inevitably have to dump everything, it’ll hurt less. In addition to this, a lower cost makes it easier to justify having your own space to sleep in rather than sharing with others. Nothing worse than getting kicked out of your own tent because your mate made a new “friend”, amirite? Much like with flatting, choose your festival group wisely. Several days on the rark and in each others’ company 24/7 can be harsh on even the longest of friendships, so proceed with caution. Of course, you ’ll want to share the experience with your nearest and dearest, but be sure to take some time for

yourself when and if necessary. Remember, company is not required at all times. We’re old enough now to wander around on our own for a while without being surrounded by friends. Even if it’s just a stroll to get some food, or heading to the shower block by yourself – don’t be afraid to stray if you start to go a bit mad with the people you’re surrounded by. Make some new friends; live a little! It’s a marathon; not a sprint. Whether you’re only heading to one event this summer, or you’ve got multiple locations to hit, treat your liver kindly (within reason). I can’t speak for all of you, but I’d say after forking out the amount of cash we do for these events, you’d want to at least remember some of it. Better yet, it’d be nice to actually make it through the evening without passing out before dark. Everyone likes a nice bevvy in the sun with some mates, but pace yourself. Also, be sure to stay watered. No one likes heat stroke, dehydration, or a gnarly hangover. Make sure to break up your alcohol intake with the occasional bottle of water. I’m sure your body will thank you for it. Festivals are often hives of activity; so much to do and see at all times. Of course, along with this comes plenty of opportunities to experiment with

new things. While Nexus cannot condone the use of illicit and illegal substances, we know that some of you hooligans dabble in these from time to time. The only advice is to be careful and take precautions, and don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. The situation is bound to provide a plethora of choices, should you want to engage, but maybe make sure the person providing is someone you know, or know of. No one wants to end up in the hospital from some dodgy pills. When it comes to other types of experimentation, be sure to invest in some type of protection – if ya know what I mean. No one wants 1+1=3 at the end of R’n’V or land themselves with an inconvenient problem in the nether regions. Let’s all try to make good choices, okay? At the end of the day, these events are all about The Experience™. Whether the lineup just isn’t your scene, you’ve been on the rark for too long, or you’re purely just overtired and looking for a nice comfy bed, sometimes, it can all be a bit too much. Make the most of the time, and the huge amount of cash that’s been blown. There are good times to be had, and memories to be made. TL;DR: waste your money, don’t fuck up too much, and have some fun. Catch ya on the flip side! 27

One Final Aux JACQUI SWNEY After a good two years writing about questionably good music for Nexus, it has reached the time where I’m an adult now and I’ve gotta move on. Let me tell you, kids, adulthood sucks; real jobs suck. I encourage you to revel in your youth, drink on weekdays, and sleep through as many classes as possible while you can because I don’t even remember what sleep is anymore. I’m currently sitting at my new work desk and my new adult job writing this, and while it pains me to leave Nexus behind, it pains me even more that these are the best songs I could whip out for my last playlist. Hopefully, they don’t let ya down too much. 1. ‘SUPERLOVE’ BY WHETHAN FEAT. OH WONDER:

Whethan has recently become famous for bringing the Walmart Yodelling kid on stage at Coachella as his special guest, so you could say there’s something fun and wholesome about his music. It’s distinctly happy and dancey, and although his sound doesn’t have a whole lot of variation, it’s overall very pleasant to listen to. ‘Superlove’ is one of his more recent releases and I rinsed it for about three days straight until I became a wee bit sick of it. With summer teasing us with the warm weather recently, I recommend playing it loud and going for a drive. Promising summer vibes. 2. ‘DRIFT’ BY GALIMATIAS & ALINA BARAZ: This song is best listened to while watching mesmerizing videos of waves in the tropics (which is, in fact, how I 28

stumbled across this song in the first place). It makes you feel like you’re sitting underwater for a long time and that really peaceful feeling you get from holding your breath underwater for ages sitting at the bottom of a pool. It’s a soft and floaty dream. Alina Baraz’s mesmerizing voice accompanied by a subtle piano gives the whole thing a peaceful vibe. 7/10 good song for roasting nugs. 3, ‘HOLD ON’ BY ALABAMA SHAKES: I’ve pulled this one out of the archives for this week’s playlist. After its release in 2012, I was absolutely obsessed with Alabama Shakes. They’re soulful, raw and bluesy. ‘Hold On’ is pretty much one of the most uplifting and motivational songs to come from a blues band. There’s something so relatable about the lyrics as they wonder about how they made it to 22 years old that gives me hope. 15/10 (I don’t think I’ve ever awarded a song 15/10 before, that’s how much I love it right now).

Ethical Porn JENNIE-LOUISE KENDRICK Freerange fucking on film. One of the contentious elements of pornography, on the whole, is how it can influence people’s perception of what sex between consenting adults looks like, or what a sexy body looks like. Plenty of people want to produce porn, just as there’s plenty of people who want to engage in sex work. There’s a huge division between professional actors, like Mia Khalifa and Alexis Texas, and the exhibitionist couple from the town over. There’s lots of horrid stuff that happens on the web and is proliferated due to it, but there’s also the propensity for regular people to put their smut out there; to produce the porn they want to see. The direct to consumer process of uploading to a site like Pornhub means there is no policing of who gets to make porn; provided it involves sexual acts by consenting adults. Feminists stuck in the second wave will shout from the rooftops that pornography is unrealistic, sexist and promotes violence against women. This argument is plausible, and, in some cases, true. Mainstream porn often caters to the cisgender male gaze, spewing out fantasies of barely legal teens (read: because watching porn made by someone 17 years and 364 days old would be illegal, but an 18th birthday justifies a predilection for youthful girls), stepsiblings banging (read: not-technicallyincestuous-incest), and unrealistic bodies (read: they’ve got breast implants so they’re not “real” women, right?). To argue that porn is inherently bad would be ignoring the variety of content available, and cast judgment on those who engage with it. However, to argue that porn is inherently positive would be naïve; many people struggle with porn

addictions, porn actors regularly report exploitation, it can tokenise and belittle minority groups, and it can negatively impact young people’s expectations of sex and their sexual partner. But it must be noted that porn is often how people explore their sexuality first; be it for masturbation or research. For people with gender dysphoria, seeing trans* bodies and non-binary bodies as sexual and desirable can be powerful. In the episode ‘Porn Idols’ from BBC’s Queer Britain series, Riyadh Khalaf talks to queer porn producers—this show is worth a Google!— from intersectional feminists creating artistic porn to a transwoman who hosts her own cam show and claims that it helped her feel good about her body when beginning hormone treatment. The show also has a vox pops-style montage of queer Britons talking about how they feel about porn. The responses are varied and articulate; touching on issues like tokenism and fetishism of queer people, and queer people of colour, in cisgender, straight-focused blue movies. This argument also works for differently-abled people and people of colour when people can reduce them to a sub-category for men to spank their monkey to. As a society, we need to support amateur porn producers. They are normalising the sex they have by showing others; making it available for people to enjoy and sowing the seed of individualism in a predominantly hegemonic industry. People are going to consume pornography no matter what so if there is more inclusive content available—that stresses consent, compassion and representation—then X-rated media could be an excellent tool for people struggling with accepting who they are, what they look like, and how other people perceive them.

Make It the Same but Different PETER DORNAUF The catch cry for the modernist in the visual arts was ‘make it new’. Everyone else was doing so during the period—Darwin, Nietzsche, Freud, Einstein, T. S. Eliot—so artists were admonished to do the same; to keep up. And they did. Picasso, Kandinsky, Mondrian and a hundred others made their art new and up-to-date. Abstraction was born. The catch cry one hundred years later in the postmodern period was ‘make it the same but different’. Why? Because the “new” had been exhausted. It was played out. The solution was to recycle, revisiting former styles, but doing so with a twist; often an ironic one to show how sophisticated you were. You knew the score. In the art fraternity, it’s called appropriation. You see it in popular culture, fashion and architecture; quoting the past. A classic example of such is on show at Skinroom Gallery in Frankton. Wintec tutor Geoff Clarke and former Wintec student Philip Mcilhaggar have a dual exhibition of works which exemplify something of the postmodern mood. Clarke loves the tradition of hard-edge abstraction but, in good postmodern style, he quotes from all over the place. There’s bits of Op Art (Bridget Riley) in there, references to Frank Stella, a nod to Kurt Wedgley, a touch of Pop; all part of a hybrid mix. And, to top it off, he employs the latest print and

laser-cutting technology as a means of extending the conventions of abstraction. But does all this card shuffling work? Well, yes. His wooden wall hangings—part sculptural; part paintings—present a dynamic freshness to the old tradition. They glow and hum with a sly vibrancy as they playfully cite their sources and call on the vernacular tropes that exist at popular cultural levels. Mcilhagga has a similarly eclectic approach. Working with pint-size canvases, he is injecting new life into the abstract formula by reconfiguring a whole array of common notations: grids, triangulation, ovals, zig-zag, dots, and dashes. Neither completely hard-edge nor totally expressive, he hovers teasingly between the two forms; creating a fertile frisson while doing so. The thing about abstraction though is the perennial question: ‘what does it all mean?’ Clarke recognizes that there are conflicting vocabularies, complicated by the bogey of relativism. The way forward is, perhaps, to reach out to the colloquial which Clarke attempts and Mcilhagga juggles with. ‘Cry Baby’, the title of the show, sneers at the social narcissism of the Gen Y. Millennials. Don’t be a sook. The age of the amalgamation is upon us.

GRACE MITCHELL They say a person’s favourite song says a lot about how good they are in bed. At least, I think that’s the quote. With such limited information on a tinder profile to judge your potential future lovebird by, it can be so stressful deciding which way to swipe. So, fear not; let Nexus impart you with some secret knowledge—gained by lots of swiping and instant generalisations—on how to magically psychoanalyse your Tinder match using just their Spotify anthem song. On a side note, if any of these stereotypes personally offend you, maybe you should try being a little less predictable.

A DRAKE SONG They’re probably reasonably fun, sporty, love to drink, and on top of trends. Likely fairly attractive. Hopefully, this can make up for the fact they’re unoriginal, a bit of a follower, probably not that amazing in bed, and claim ‘C’s get degrees’ on the daily to justify being at uni just for the social life.

SOMETHING PAINFULLY ALTERNATIVE Rates themselves too highly but are ‘too humble’ to ever admit it. Chances are they’ve also crafted some contrived shy/damaged aesthetic that’s completely based off a Skins character they had a crush on as a pre-teen.

HEAVY METAL Slightly scary at first impression but, deep down, they’re just insecure. Really into cars and/ or motocross. Beware: the amount of aggression in the tune correlates with the depth of their mood swings. Actually prefers Woodstocks, Codys, and Black Hearts on a night out. Probably called Jordan.

OBSCURE FOREIGN TUNE Either genuinely foreign, or just likes to think they’re superior to everyone else. Will probably be holding their camera in at least one of their photos. Has an appreciation for art, culture, coffee, and expensive footwear. Really dug Nexus Erotica.

ANYTHING BY STICKY FINGERS A bit of a GC. Good sense of humour and well-liked. Has lots of friends of the opposite gender and acts like a flirt. Constantly going on road-trips and doing other cool things but doesn’t do much selfreflection. Should consider reading a book sometime.

AN EDM TUNE Lives for the raves. Has lots of great drunk stories; if only they could remember them. Literally gets so fucked every single time they drink. The main star on a lot of Snapchat stories. Can’t hold down a relationship too well.

SOMETHING THAT WAS PLAYED TO DEATH ON THE RADIO SEVERAL MONTHS AGO BUT IS NO LONGER COOL A little behind the times and a bit thick. Has a bad taste in fashion. People laugh at them more than they laugh with them. Rest assured; they have an easygoing personality and a good heart.

‘90S SMASH Bit of a dad/mum type. Makes lame jokes ‘cos they just don’t take themselves too seriously. Hot, but not up themselves, and pretty smart. Mum and Dad would like them. You’d be in for a good time if you can get past them being a bit clueless.

SOMETHING SWEET AND ROMANTIC A bit of a cutie; you can’t help but love them. Super naïve, innocent, and a little basic. Hits you with their emotional problems a bit too early on, and will cry over small things. They have a sensitive soul, but at least they’ll buy you thoughtful gifts. Would marry you.

ARCTIC MONKEYS OR THE 1975 A wee bit alty and angsty. Puts effort into making their ‘gram look like their year 11 Tumblr account. Rather narcissistic, but at least their hair looks good. Aspires to be a photographer/musician. Kind of sexy; kind of fucked up.

A SONG WITH LOTS OF DRUG REFERENCES I hope you like drugs because they’re really into drugs. If you’re not into drugs, avoid them, because they’d only pressure you into doing drugs. Unashamedly uses government money on weed. Check their career plans (they don’t have any). Needs to turn their life around.

AN ORIGINAL, CATCHY TRACK WITH A GOOD BEAT WRITTEN BY A GENUINELY TALENTED ARTIST Absolute. Fucking. Psychopath.

Chix on Nix

Filled with omnipresent twangs of country music, and carpet void of wear, tear, and general enjoyment, it became clear that this flat barely qualifies as a student abode. With no tales of drunken valour, these rather wholesome tenants instead broke into a discussion about their latest power bill, and which of them best fit the â&#x20AC;&#x153;motherlyâ&#x20AC;? role.

She’s a fresher; someone who moved to Hamilton with hopes of meeting the love of her life. To no surprise, Tinder has been unable to provide – so we set her up with an ex-rowing superstar who dropped out of university and has worked as a drainlayer for the past two years. If he can’t quench her thirst, no one can. (Disclaimer: he’s re-enrolled at uni now, dw ) SHE SAID:

HE SAID:

After downing half a bottle of wine left over from the weekend the squad and I rocked up to House. The waitress pointed my date out for me, my first thought was, wow stripe shirt. I honestly thought he was a classic college hall douche at first glance but after a weirdly formal handshake, I realised he was actually quite a bit older than me. We quickly established a bond over the Queen herself Billie Eilish and discussed the lineups for all the music festivals this summer because it was the only decent icebreaker I could think of, plus occasionally it gets a bit of controversy going but fortunately, we both agreed that Cardi B sucks. Being your typical first-year town rat I found it odd that he said he hardly ever goes to town but I’m sure after 4 years of hearing crank that Soulja boy in the club every Saturday will eventually get old. My friend came up to our table and my cover was blown that I had brought an audience to watch our date and I could tell that made him a bit uncomfortable. It came quite clear throughout the evening that we both weren’t that into each other, we didn’t even finish the bar tab before he got himself an uber home and almost ran out the door leaving me wondering if he was trying not get a late fee from his uber driver or if he was just trying to get a quick escape away from me. Was hoping for a win, but hopefully my Bondi sands tan lasts its peak period until Saturday so it won’t go to waste. Unfortunately, this one didn’t get a bra souvenir, pick up your game and better luck next time champ.

Honestly, I had better chat with the Uber driver on the way home. If anyone was about to get tongue punched in the early hours of the morning it would’ve been him. This night was more or less a classic case of “it’s not you, it’s me”, like don’t get me wrong she was still a solid 6.5/10. But despite being a rather tidy ginger, there was really nothing there. Maybe it was the fact that I had work at 5am, maybe it was the substantial age difference between myself and this fresh out the womb 18-year-old, or maybe it was the mild FOMO from knowing the boys were currently playing Xbox and punching back cones without me. Regardless, there wasn’t even the slightest hint of sexual chemistry between us. Thankfully I’m not one of those dirty misogynists so I kept our painfully polite chat flowing. About an hour and a half in we started to scrape the barrel, breaking into a range of thrilling topics from “yeah omg haha so we went on this family holiday once haha...” and “how many siblings do you have? Wow that’s so interesting!” Sadly it wasn’t until I’d escaped the evening, and punched back my fair share of cones, that I realised the financial correlation between the amount of holidays she’s been on and her moderate shitload of siblings. After realising her family must be fucking loaded I found myself questioning whether I should’ve tried a little harder, but considering I pretty much ran out of House after 2 hours of being on that date I’d hate to think what would happen after a week on holiday. Who knows, maybe she’s got an older sister that’s closer to an 8/10?

Brought to you by House on Hood Street. If you’re keen for a Blind Date, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) High standards are a positive trait to have, Libra, but perhaps not at this stage in life. Try to stop complaining about literally everything and maybe you’ll be happier. Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) The stars have spoken and your secret is out. Yes, you’re a bitch, but acceptance is key! Everyone else is already aware anyway, so keep up the rep. Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) Beauty and grace encompass you, but be aware of those trying to throw a spanner in the works. Obstacles may be hidden by supportive people; approach paired assignments with caution. Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) Ever the intellectual, this week may put your wits to the test. Life shall throw you a curveball, so be alert. Our crystal ball says to avoid any situation involving illegal substances or suffer the impending criminal record. Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Gratitude is always appreciated, and now may be the time to dish some out. Be sure to show others the appreciation they deserve before everyone realises what a terrible friend you are. Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) Your hidden competitive nature shall come out to play this celestial period. Be sure to show others how unfit they are for the task at hand by targeting character flaws, and cementing yourself as The Best™.

Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) Your gem of a personality draws people to you, but perhaps work on your inner thoughts. Facial expressions tell all. Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) Superiority is an aspiration of yours, but you’re not quite there yet. Avoid bragging and reevaluate your choices in life before advertising how much better you are. Gemini (May 21-June 20) Accept your flaws. We all know you’ll never change, but at least acknowledge your lack of redeeming qualities. Denial just annoys everyone. Except you, obviously. Cancer (June 21-July 22) As this semester comes to an end, time management will be key. Get your shit together before you fail all your assignments and your group blames you for their declining GPA. Leo (July 23-Aug 22) Your fashion is second to none. Hold onto your original style; without it, your personality will land you in with all the other “basic bitches”. Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) Feeling lots of emotions isn’t a great asset, but having lots of faces is just as undesirable. Perhaps look in the mirror for once – both your faces may need some work.

Keen for some free Burgerfuel? Simply snap us the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve accidentally sent us something you shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have, just email editor@nexusmag.co.nz with all the details. Prizes can be claimed from reception in the SUB (between Unimart and the gym). 39

Puzzles

CODE CRACKER 25

1 21

16 13

7 4

26 26

10 7

16 22

16 17

23 20

21 9

7 25

5 22

A B C D E F G H I J KL M N O P Q R STUVWXYZ 1

ALGE-BRUH

( ( EASY SUDOKU

5 2

9 6

3 4

) = 18

)−

= -7

3 6

5 2

3 6

6 2

3 9

4 1

6 7

DIFFICULT SUDOKU

6 8

5 6

)×

MEDIUM SUDOKU

7 1

2 9 4

9 1

5 8

2 9

SIMPLE PUZZLES FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE

OPTI-C00L ILLEWSHUN shake the; magazine - around really really% farst so that: Kim looks VIOLENTL'Y EXITED to eat her piece of lettuce OR like she's eating her "lettuce" in an earthquake!~!!

CROSSWORD 1

ALGE-BRUH ANSWERS:

12 13 14

16 18

23 24

LAST WEEKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ANSWERS:

WORD TWIST

ACROSS:

DOWN:

1. Ploy (6) 4. Requiring secret knowledge (6) 9. Disapproves (7) 10. Angry (5) 11. Land measure (4) 12. Perplexing (8) 14. Disney cartoon character (5) 16. Mournful poem (5) 20. Scorn (8) 21. Fencing sword (4) 24. Female relative (5) 25. Pills (7) 26. Unmarried (6) 27. Precious stones (6)

1. Worldwide (6) 2. US military officer (5) 3. Unit of length (4) 5. Precipitation (8) 6. Astounding (7) 7. Come out into view (6) 8. Ordinary (5) 13. Celestial (8) 15. Lamp (7) 17. Parts of a play (6) 18. Catches sight of (5) 19. Creatures (6) 22. Fragment (5) 23. Woodwind instrument (4)