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EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ DESIGN

CONTENTS

HAYLIE GRAY MANAGING EDITOR

—

JAMES RAFFAN

_03

Editorial

_04

Lettuce to the Editor

_05

News

_08

News from the University

_09

Sport

_10

Ridiculist & Vox Pops

_11

Reviews

_14

Honest Matt

_15

Horoscopes & Playlist

_16

Auteur

_17

Arts and Stuff

_18

Travel

WAIREHU GRANT

_19

Awesome Dead People

COVER ART

_20

This Is How We Do

_24

Scrumpy Monkey

_28

Legitimate Reasons to Get Drunk

CONTRIBUTORS SPORTS GUY GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER ANARU WARREN SARA LEMME DR RICHARD SWAINSON HP MIKE BILODEAU JULES CRAFT MATT HICKS BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF TEE-SHIP LOUISE HUTT AUNTY SLUT MELODY WILKINSON ZAC LYON MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE RYAN WOOD AARON LETCHER CHRISTIE SHAW THE PIE MEN JOHNNY RYAN MEGAN KARL GUETHERT PAUL MAGUIRE

SIMON BLANCHETT PHOTOGRAPHY LOUISE HUTT BROOK JAMES DESIGN INTERNS ELLIE BROOKS

_30 Columns

OLIVIA PARIS ROSE ROGERS

_37

The Bank Blind Date

_38

The President's Column

_39

Advice

ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ OFFICES GROUND FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO

_40 Notices

KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON ONLINE

_41 Recipe

NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ FACEBOOK.COM/NEXUSNZ @NEXUSMAG SPOTIFY: NEXUSMAGAZINE

nexusmag.co.nz

_42 Puzzles

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EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT

—

have a dark and terrible secret- I can’t hold my liquor. Except it’s not a dark and terrible secret- it’s a party trick (or in my case, a very public humiliation) that gets exposed ALL THE TIME.

the mouth and falling over. I gave up drinking for a while because it was easier to say ‘no’ to everything, than try to explain why three drinks are pretty much my limit.

So I admit- I don’t play drinking games. I don’t do shots. I don’t drink any-

Everyone thinks it’s hilarious when I tell them this, and are keen to test the

thing if I need to drive. Because two drinks makes things fuzzy, three are a

theory. And while I’m not that attached to my dignity, I am very attached

party, and I had a blackout last week because I had four vodkas. Yup, that’s right- four vodkas! For fucks sake, right? Trust me, even I

to my life. See, I’m five feet tall. I weigh 52 kilos. I wear a size 3 shoe. I can’t hold my liquor because there is nowhere to put it. A good night out

am disappointed in my drinking abilities. It means I can’t play beer pong,

for most people that ends in a wee hangover would be me going to A&E

because even though I’d totally rock it, I’d be chucking before I finished. It

to get my stomach pumped.

means my wizard stick would be more like a wizard wand, or a wizard…

So I admit it- I suck at drinking. I’m not going to argue the point anymore,

single can. I get embarrassed if I’m out with a group of people and they

or push myself to keep up with the cool kids. Imma have my 3 vodkas

start buying ‘rounds’ because I’m only going to make it to round three

and live it large- laughing at all you hacks pouring $50 down your throat to

before I do something stupid (and I can’t afford to buy five drinks anyway!)

achieve the same. I’m the ultimate student- I get pissed fast and cheap.

Trying to ‘keep up’ turns me into that girl who flirts with inappropriate

And if the goal of drinking games is to get slizzard then I am way ahead of

people, spews in the gutter, then has a drunk cry. Everyone hates that

you! Don’t make fun of me because I’m a lightweight- be jealous. Super

girl- I fucking hate that girl! I had the nickname ‘Messy Elliott’ in high

jealous.

school, because while everyone else was just beginning to get that nice

And if any photos surface from last week I deny all involvement.

warm fuzzy feeling in their tummy, I was dancing on tables, running off at

LETTUCE

nexus magazine

Rap to the Editor PART 8

Then the next issue about music and beats and grooves. Wow! I am so glad that, that was an issue and the behindthe scene look at what it's like to be in the music industry, or trying to make it, as was seen in Greg "Jack" Stack's interview. It was great to see this, and the promotion of the local music scene. I, a weekly supporter at The Wall-Hamilton, find

Outer crust exploding, inner core imploding infinitely high gravity's created, space and time eroding. When Star morphs to black hole, not even light escapes, anything in the horizon will also meet the same fate.

it a bit disheartening, the lack of support for local djs. And then this past issue! WOW! So wonderful, with educating in a "down-to-earth" way with guest contributors/bloggers Onyx Lily talking about Preferred Gender Pronouns and the struggle for those who don't identify in

Ironically, this is an Opinion (Rebuttal) TEE SHIP

the gender-binary-norm. And Rachel Elliott's personal experiences with being a female and what is means to her and overburdening expectations (as well as being comfortable in her own and continuing to be a barefooted hippie <3). As well, it was nice to see MDG's piece, "Colour Me Male" and his/their experiences and very kind, loving advice. But if I had one criticism, it would be to have more diversity amongst those contributing, more male perspectives, more cultural perspectives. As much as I enjoy reading, I find it a

Dear Anonymous.

bit mono-cultural and only relatable to a selective group of

In regards to your attack on the integrity of the journalistic

students on campus. But keep creating, keep fighting for

approach of 2014’s Nexus, I can’t help but wonder what you

gender-equality, keep sharing!

are thinking. First of all to attack something as “tailored to hipsters” shows that you have a clear bias towards every-

Ed’s note: We welcome contributions from everyone- if you

thing staying the same and never changing a la somebody

think something’s missing, contribute!

born in the 30’s. Secondly regarding; “Could you please go

Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

back to journalism and print less opinion?” A) That’s super cute that you considered the articles printed pre-2014 as journalism, and B) If you want to read the same monotonous bullshit printed everyday in mass-media go suffocate

Missing the Point

yourself with a Dominion Post.

RORY MITCHELL

Fuck you.

More Culture A CIS-FEMALE, INTERNATIONAL STUDENT AND GENDER-

DISCLAIMER: Letters published contain the opinion of

EQUALITY ADVOCATE

Dear Editor, This article was extremely nasty for no apparent reason, except to display the authors vitriolic hate for John Key. Its OK to slag off our PM, in fact its a pretty basic right in this country, but this girl is her own person that we don't know anything about.

the writer and the writer alone. Nexus Should I just walk into the fine arts department, choose

publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By sub-

Dear lovely Nexus contributors from the past three weeks,

some person at random and write an article for this magazine saying their art is fucking terrible, they are a bitch,

mitting your letter you give consent to its

I have greatly enjoyed reading the last three issues! It started

publication in Nexus and subsequent pub-

with the love and sex issue with the guest editorial from our

lic scrutiny. Letters are the authors own

own Aunty Slut, who I respect quite a lot for her/their (or

What the fuck did she do? Does the author realise that this

work and Nexus will not edit to compen-

whatever PGP [Preferred Gender Pronoun] our Aunty would

is actually a real person who could be deeply affected by

sate for lack of intelligence or coherency.

like to go by) spit fire gender-equality game. As an ally for

these comments?

Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse

the LGBTQQIA[...] community and a budding Feminist w ho

to publish any letter which breaches any

isn't anti-male, but for gender-equality across the spectrum,

law, is defamatory to any person, or con-

I greatly admire Aunty Slut's c onfidence in tackling the patri-

tains threats of violence or hate speech.

archy, one submission at a time.

nexusmag.co.nz

dressed like a whore, and spoilt little asshole?

Get some real journalists.

nexus magazine

Keyed Up

NEWS

DISGUSTED

Dear Ed, Thank god someone called out that idiot Stephanie Key. The appropriation of the sacred clothing and tools of the Native Americans is not only deeply insulting to the indigenous people of America, but also to anyone with half a brain. The Japanese themed photos are even worse. She displays a

the people who say that you know your work has reached

CHINA REVERSE-ENGINEERS SPYING SCANDALS

people when they’re talking about it are full of shit. The only

CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER

thing her photos reach in me is my gag reflex.

—

utter ignorance and a complete lack of respect for the cultures she’s appropriating from. ‘Shock value’ is not art, and

Cooking for Sluts AUNTY SLUT

Dear Concerned of Ngaruawahia, Aunty Slut doesn't cook, but if she did she would absolutely get amongst 'Soup For Sluts'. I wouldn't cut my carrots into

The FBI has indicted five Chinese military officers on

targeting of commercial interests is merely incidental.

charges of industrial espionage. In response, China's

All defendants apparently work for the spooky Chinese

foreign ministry said it will suspend the activities of a

cyberwarfare "Unit 61398". For readers wondering what

China-US working group on cyber issues calling the

the Chinese could possibly have left to rip off, the targets

allegations "made up".

included nuclear and solar energy interests. The hack-

The Obama administration is pushing its position that

ers allegedly stole emails and other communications that

seeking trade secrets is illegitimate whereas the ongo-

could have helped Chinese firms anticipate the strate-

ing revelations of controversial operations by the NSA

gies and weaknesses of American companies involved

are okay because they are only conducted against pretty

in litigation in China.

much everyone on Earth for 'security reasons'. Any

flowers though, I'd cut them into certain letters of the alphabet, so they'd spell out my favourite word as they floated on my soup. Anyone who tells you not to play with your food has clearly never discovered the joys of naked people covered in chocolate sauce, or of making food say 'cunt' to upset your conservative flatmates.

I like Hygiene ANONYMOUS

DUNEDIN NOT DUMBER FROM FLUORIDE GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY

— Has anyone noticed the uni is filthy? The grounds are great,

A 40-year study by Otago University has shown no ill

before controlling for the other factors that might

but internally it's a mess. The stairs in IJK bock look like they

effects of fluoridated water on child mental development

influence scores.”

haven't been cleaned all year- there was a coffee stain on

or adult IQ. The study followed the health and develop-

He went on to say that studies often cited by fluoride

one step that was there an entire semester. The toilets are

ment of roughly 1,000 people born in Dunedin in 1972-73.

opponents that suggest an adverse effect on IQ have

foul too- the floors in particular are disgusting- do they mop?

The authors of the study compared the IQs of people

I don't want to diss the cleaners, because I'm sure they're

living in fluoridated and non-fluoridated suburbs of

“Our findings will hopefully help to put another nail in

lovely- but they have to be cutting corners. I've seen a potato

Dunedin, paying particular attention to fluoride exposure

the coffin of the complete canard that fluoridating water

chip in the corner of the hallway and it's been there at least

during the first five years of life which is critical for brain

is somehow harmful to children’s development”, said Dr.

a week?

development.

Broadbent, employing a colourful and little-used term

It's getting unsanitary.

In an unsurprising result lead author Dr. Jonathan Broadbent reported, “Our analysis showed no sig-

Got something to say? Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

nificant differences in IQ by fluoride exposure, even

been reviewed and found to be faulty.

meaning ‘an unfounded rumour’. On the other hand, the study did confirm the positive effect of breastfeeding on children’s IQ.

nexus magazine

DEBATING SOCIETY GAINS STREET CRED ANARU WARREN

— Earlier this month, Waikato Debating Society hosted a contingent of 125 students posited into 32 teams as part of the annual weekend-long North Island Novice Debating Tournament, colloquially dubbed 'Thropy'. After acing four successful preliminary rounds, Waikato Team One; Stephen Taylor, Sarah Hyde and Elaine Gyde placed a narrow second after losing to Victoria University in the semi-finals, a historic feat for any University of Waikato Debating Team competing in the tournament. Sarah and Stephen are also competing in the upcoming Bell Gully Senior Mooting Final while Elaine has been selected to attend the U.S. Embassy Young Leaders Conference at the end of May.

PETER JACKSON HIGH ON SYNTHETIC MOVIES CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER

— The actor Viggo Mortensen has kind of slagged off Peter Jackson's Hobbit movies as well as the Lord of the Rings trilogy in which he acted. In an interview for The Telegraph, Mortensen talked about how precarious the LOTR movies were, and that he does not believe their commercial success was guaranteed “they didn’t have an inkling until they showed 20 minutes in Cannes, in May of 2001. They were in a lot of trouble, and Peter had spent a lot. Officially, he could say that he was finished in December 2000 – he’d shot all three films in the trilogy – but really the second and third ones were a mess. It was very sloppy – it just wasn’t done at all." Mortensen went on to say that he had thought Jackson might make a smaller local film after the original trilogy, but now he thinks he is addicted to special effects. "The second movie already started ballooning, for my taste...The Hobbit, one and two, it’s like that to the power of 10." In the same week iconic Kiwi filmmaker Geoff Murphy said "[Jackson's] arrival on the scene has dominated to such an extent that in most people's perception, New Zealand film industry means Peter Jackson. He has done something that doesn't have any relationship with our own cultural

SWITZERLAND'S 12:1 MAX WAGE LAW SHOT DOWN 65:35 ANARU WARREN

—

development, or very little." Swiss voters have overwhelmingly rejected ground-breaking economic reforms that will simultaneously raise the minimum wage to 22 Swiss francs per hour (almost $29 NZD) while also placing a cap on the ratio at which CEOs are paid in relation to their workers.

“...REALLY THE SECOND AND THIRD ONES WERE A MESS. IT WAS VERY SLOPPY – IT JUST WASN’T DONE AT ALL.” - VIGGO MORTENSEN

Presently in Switzerland, CEOs are paid 43 times more than the average worker; in the United States, this disparity rockets to 273. Known as the 12:1 initiative, which imposes a 12 -to-1 ceiling on CEO wages, Swiss voters believe that the measure goes too far in the opposite wake of remedying this disparity. Critics believe the initiative places an economic disadvantage and would damage tax revenues in the business friendly Switzerland.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

BACHELOR OF ARTS – MAJORING IN “GETTING BY’ STUDIES SARA LEMME

— The government’s recent budget didn’t bode well for

repayment scheme begins at 4% (compared with our

losing out in the current budget after losing out every

12%) and it starts only after the graduate earns over

year for the past 4 years, but graduates are too. With low income earners just out of university being hit hard with a frozen low repayment threshold for

I’LL TAKE YA TO THE BITCOIN SHOP ANARU WARREN

scheme, there are substantial differences. Their

everyone, especially students. Not only are students

$53,345 (compared with our $19,084). Let that sink in…. Australian students also benefit from voluntary repayment bonuses which the government here removed.

another 3 years, the continuing high repayment rates

Daniel Haines, NZUSA President, has outlined that

will mean struggles for many new-grads entering

despite the numerous cuts made over the past 4 years

the workforce. In 2012 the current government increased student repayment rates form 10% to 12%, froze the parental

to student support, student debt continues to grow. Haines believes the cuts made by Steven Joyce “have locked potential students out from tertiary study”.

— Chocolate, Vegemite and instant noodles as well as other eclectics are the latest offering from Christchurch based start-up, Bitmart.co.nz. The online store is the first of its kind here in New Zealand, allowing Kiwis to

“[AUSTRALIA'S] REPAYMENT SCHEME BEGINS AT 4% (COMPARED WITH OUR 12%) AND IT STARTS ONLY AFTER THE GRADUATE EARNS OVER $53,345 (COMPARED WITH OUR $19,084).”

purchase a wide range of groceries and electronics using the currency conundrum, Bitcoin. The virtual currency was introduced in 2009 by software developer Satoshi Nakamoto as a peer-to-peer payment system, allocating autonomous transactions without the requirement of a central or retail bank. "The enthusiasm of the growing Bitcoin community and their eagerness to help establish a thriving digital currency economy in New Zealand really solidifies my belief that Bitcoin is here to stay" says Bitmart store founder Chris Dawson. Critics have highlighted, however, the volatility of Bitcoin as a major flaw, with valuation halving since its peak of NZD $1157 in December 2013.

GOVERNMENT STOPS AID THAT KILLS

income limit and also froze the repayment threshold

Hardest hit by all the cuts of recent years were

(the most you can earn before you have to start paying

postgraduate students and students over 55, who

back your student loan) which is set at $19,084 per year.

have completely lost their allowance entitlement, fol-

Under past Labour governments these limits and

lowed by students over 40 who had their entitlements

thresholds were adjusted in line with inflation to reflect

decreased to 120 weeks (versus the 200 weeks for

the reality of living costs. This year, it has again been

under 40s). “By arbitrarily restricting who has access,

reaffirmed that the repayment threshold freeze will

National arbitrarily picks winners and losers.”

remain until at least 2017, despite cruel inklings that it was going to be adjusted.

The art of ‘living week to week on not a lot’ might be the best skill your degree inadvertently provides you

As many opponents have outlined, including the

with, as you’ll need that skill when you graduate and

New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA),

still have nothing; you can only eat so many assign-

when we look at Australia’s student loan repayment

ments before malnutrition sets in.

GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY

— The New Zealand Government has pulled the plug on a police training programme in the Indonesian region of West Papua. A few months ago the Greens called for an end to the programme that effectively supports police abuses of power and repression in the region. Academic and journalist Paul Bensemann travelled to West Papua last year—undercover, as journalists are banned. “Paul Bensemann found evidence that police violence continues to be a norm and it's shocking that as a country we are funding a programme that some Papuans refer to as ‘aid that kills’”, said Green MP Catherine Delahunty. Meanwhile, the word from the Foreign Ministry was that Indonesia ‘had advised that it is not able to support the project at this time’.

nexus magazine

NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY

CUP STUDENTS STARTING A DEGREE PROGRAMME IN JULY —

If you are completing the Certificate of University Preparation (CUP) programme this semester, the next step is to start a degree in July 2014. Please check your email for the form you need to fill in to select your programme. Complete the form, sign it and return it to the Student Centre for processing as soon as possible. Applications should be submitted by 30 June 2014. If you need help or have any questions, please phone 0800 WAIKATO (0800 924 528), email info@waikato.ac.nz, or visit the Student Administration Team on level 2 of the Student Centre.

CELEBRATING SAMOAN LANGUAGE WEEK

RE-ENROL NOW FOR B SEMESTER

—

Talofa! This week is Vaiaso o le Gagana Samoa – Samoan Language Week 2014. It’s an

You can add or change papers for B Semester in iWaikato at any time, so get in quick so that

opportunity to celebrate the Samoan language and to use Samoan words and phrases in

everything is organised before the start of the semester. If you have a student loan or allowance,

everyday life. Keep up-to-date with the University’s activities this week on our Facebook

you need to be enrolled to make sure your payments continue.

page where we’re running a daily language quiz giving you the chance to win a student

www.waikato.ac.nz/study/enrol/b-semester

voucher pack.

WAIKATO INVITATIONAL THIS FRIDAY — The Waikato Invitational is a one-day mixed sporting competition for North Island tertiary institutions and is happening this Friday 30 May on our Hamilton campus. Come and support the Waikato Tribe as they take on other universities and polytechnics in fierce sporting competition, including Ultimate Frisbee, Lacrosse, Netball, Touch, Volleyball,

CREDIT YOUR UNICASH ACCOUNT ONLINE —

Football, *Hockey, and *Basketball (*located off campus). You can now load money onto your Unicash (printing/photocopying) account online. To do this, you need a credit/debit card or a bank account capable of internet banking. Simply visit payments.its.waikato.ac.nz and follow the prompts. Many of the ePay kiosks and paystations on campus have been removed, however you can still credit your account with cash at the kiosk on level 2 of the Student Centre.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

FIFA WORLD CUP 2014 – TEAM ANALYSIS SPORTS GUY - OPINION

— Next month Brazil will host the FIFA football world

reminiscent of their 2010 team, with largely the same

cup. No one should be surprised that the host nation

players. The thing with the Spanish team is that they

are favourites at the TAB, followed by South American

have certain players who can have terrible club form

neighbours Argentina, and European heavyweights

but come out all guns blazing once they pull on the

Germany and Spain. My column this week is going to

jersey of their country (I’m looking at you Fernando

look through the squads of a few teams and analyse the

Torres). My biggest concern with the Spanish side is

crap out of them and their chances of taking the cup

the age factor. The vast majority of their squad are 30

and the glory that comes with it.

or older. I think, at this level, the age factor is going to play a huge part in determining the success of this

Brazil: Why not kick things off with looking at the hosts. I was shocked that Brazil did not pick Kaka, Robinho or, most surprising of all, Ronaldinho. Yes, these three are a little old now (30+), but they would have a huge impact in this world cup. Ronaldinho is still one of the most skilled players in the world and can get around any

team. If they don’t encounter a team like Brazil or even England in the early going (which they won’t in group stages as they have Netherlands, Chile and Australia in their group) then they could go a long way. Saving the legs of their old boys will be vital. Spain would be my second favourites to take the title.

player as he pleases. He is a joy to watch. Obviously, Brazil have picked Neymar who, in my opinion, is one

Germany: I said it in 2011, and I stand by it – Germany

of the most overrated and overpaid players in the world

are the top contenders to take out this world cup. They

of football. I was happy to see them pick brooding for-

are coming into the tournament with a squad that is

ward Hulk and Chelsea defender David Luiz. They have

absolutely stacked to the roof with talent, and a good

Oscar and Ramires to carry the play in the midfield

mix of old and young talent at that. Ever reliable

but I’m not 100% convinced that this is a world cup

Manuel Neuer will be between the posts and Phillip

winning side. There is a lot of talent in this team, but

Lahm and Per Mertersacker will anchor the defence.

players like Neymar and Oscar can be quite selfish with

In the midfield, they have a plethora of world class

the ball and prefer to play with the ball at their feet. I

players vying for a starting spot. Mesut Ozil, Bastian

don’t see this combo teaming up for too many goals

Schweinsteiger, Sami Khedira, Mario Gotze and Julian

from assists. A good team, but Brazil are not my pick

Draxler are all reliable options for starting spots. This

to win this tournament.

will come in handy in the early stages of the tournament when rotating players around is inevitable. Lukas

Argentina: It really bugs me that every player in the Argentinian squad is overshadowed by Messi. I have a theory about why Argentina have often disappointed in the latest tournaments – people see the name Messi and develop unrealistic expectations of how far this

Podolski and Miroslav Klose will lead the charge up front, with more big name forwards in the squad there for reinforcements. Germany have the talent and the depth in this squad to go a long way and win by some big margins. They’re going to be tough to beat.

team can go. Personally I think they will go further if they play Messi in an attacking midfield position and

Finally, if you want to have a punt on who is going to

start both Sergio Aguero and Gonzalo Higuain. If Messi

take it out, here’s a few tips and what they’re paying:

slots in just behind the strikers, he’ll be good for both goals and assists. For me, these three players are key to the success of Argentina. I’m going to keep this short

My favourites to win: Germany - $6.00 My second favourites: Spain - $7.50

– Argentina aren’t even second favourites in my book, maybe fourth or fifth.

My dark horse picks: Netherlands - $25.00 and Belgium - $15.00

Spain: Spain won the last world cup and will be a sure threat at this one. The team they have picked is

Good luck out there, kids. Bring on the football!

nexus magazine

RIDICULIST

VOX POPS

Ridiculous types of people at the party.

Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.

1 Already so drunk they can barely walk This person is probably party hopping. They stumble to the next one and the next one with their FOMO, and get

Tegan, Psych. Best party you've ever been to? I fought a lion on a train. Worst party you've ever been to? Niketa's party. How many members of the WSU board can you name? Um is there an Aaron? And, I'll take a guess... Sam? Yeah? So 2.

so drunk they don’t remember half the places they ended up anyway.

2 Hits on everyone at the party. Even you This person probably spent the early stages of the evening complaining they just can’t find ‘the one’. They

Leah, Law and Management. Best party you've ever been to? A Fancy dress party, everyone got into the spirit. Worst party you've ever been to? A party where there were NO people. How many members of the WSU board can you name? What's the WSU board?

take the statistical approach- if they ask around enough, they figure they’ll eventually score.

3 Shows up in their underwear and complains of being cold This person did not come prepared for a Waikato Winter

Tash, Teaching. Best party you've ever been to? My boyfriend's flatmate's 21st, there were heaps of different people there. Worst party you've ever been to? Back during high school where they got shut down by the cops at like, 10pm. How many members of the WSU board can you name? No idea, sorry.

house party. They’ll probably borrow your hoodie and never return it.

4 Brings no beers. Drinks everyone’s beers This person is just a douche bag. Bad form.

Dan, Sport and Leisure and Teaching. Best party you've ever been to? 'Fuck me, I'm Famous' in Ibiza. Worst party you've ever been to? My own 19th Birthday. How many members of the WSU board can you name? I can name the VP- Shannon Stewart.

5 The depressed friend You had to beg and plead for this sad sack to come to your party and now they’re sitting in the corner nursing the same beer you gave them when they arrived. At least pretend you’re having a good time before you leave early!

Carlos, Sport and Leisure and Teaching. Best party you've ever been to? You never remember the best parties. Worst party you've ever been to? The party in Te Aroha where I got my jaw broken. This guy, his mate liked the girl I was seeing and he told her about a crime they were involved in. After that they got pinched by the cops, and blamed me. How many members of the WSU board can you name? None.

Changes the music every thirty seconds This amateur DJ thinks they’re being clever. Make them move away from the remote or you won’t hear a complete song all night.

Deveraux, BA. Best party you've ever been to? My cousins 21st. It was the first time I got pissed, I was 16. Worst party you've ever been to? It's only good parties when I'm around. How many members of the WSU board can you name? The what?

Spews in the hallway. Does not clean up their spew This could possibly be the next incarnation of ridiculous person #1. Stumbles down the hallway looking for the toilet, misses it by a mile. They either slink off in embarrassment or pass out in their own spew before being able to clean it up.

Abi, Sport and Leisure and Teaching. Best party you've ever been to? A house party in Te Puna, Tauranga. It was awesome because no one went rushing off to town, they stayed. Worst party you've ever been to? My own house party because my house got ruined. How many members of the WSU board can you name? None.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

Chef

Godzilla

FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON

FILM REVIEW BY JOHNNY RYAN

Chef belongs to that subgenre of light comedy known as the "food film".

As a big Godzilla fan from back when I was a young buck I was really look-

As such it places more emphasis on the sensual delights of preparing,

ing forward to this. I had heard a lot of negative reviews on the movie so I

cooking and consuming meals than it does on plot. The story, such as it is,

went in not so sure but I really enjoyed it.

involves a middle-aged culinary genius whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s struggling to reconcile commercial success with artistic expression. Carl Casper is a recently divorced

I have to mention I was mainly waiting for the Asian guy to say 'Godzilla' but he didnt say it as loud and enthusiastically as I'd hoped.

40 something once hailed as a cooking great who has slipped into a rut.

The story was similar to its predecessor in that Godzilla lay dorment for

Bullied by a bottom-line obsessed boss, he's betraying his talent and set-

years and reappeared but this time he rose up to fight two other creatures.

ting a bad example for his techno-savvy ten-year old son. When these pressures result in a breakdown Cal's forced to start again from scratch. Chef will win no prizes for originality. As a feel-good movie that wears

The special effects were great except for his feet, they be kankles yo! I recommend watching it on the xtreme screen as I you get full effect of the creatures sounds effects and epicness.

its predictability, like its heart, on its sleeve, it passes as entertainment,

I enjoyed all the casting in the movie especially seeing Bryan Cranston

especially if you are hungry. Jon Favreau clearly hopes to use it to resur-

aka Walter White, he was awesome as usual, I could only think of Breaking

rect his career as a leading man but there's also plenty of scene-stealing

Bad though. It would have been nice to have a bit more character develop-

moments from a strong supporting cast that includes Dustin Hoffman,

ment in the main characters, they only had enough to make them legit

Robert Downey, Jr, Scarlett Johansson and Oliver Platt. For trade-mark,

and not much more. That is possibly because Godzilla becomes the lead

ethnic comic relief there's my least favourite actor, John Leguizamo, as

character as the action starts.

well Bobby Cannavale and, as the improbably hot ex-wife, SofĂa Vergara.

There's a good few twists and turns and explosions that keep the movie

Besides a rather too topical subplot involving social media that will date

moving along. Without ruining the whole thing it's a must watch for any

it in the long term, Chef's greatest sin is to suggest that women such as

mainstream movie fan who is looking for a good two hours of entertain-

Sofia and Scarlett would look twice at the beefy Favreau. There have to be

ment that includes giant monsters.

some perks when you write and direct your own star vehicle.

nexus magazine

Estère

Marshall Mathers LP 2

ALBUM REVIEW BY HP

ALBUM REVIEW BY RACHAEL ELLIOTT

There are a number of strange clickings and clunkings on the debut EP from

I’m always a bit embarrassed to admit how much I like Eminem. On the

Wellington singer Estère. It’s a strange layering of texture, but it becomes

one hand he’s a misogynistic, homophobic asshole. On the other hand,

clearer when she explains that the beat is just as likely to be from a lamp

he’s Eminem. His early music came from the place where all good creative

turned hi-hat, as anything else within her reach. The sounds build through

work comes from- the darkness. His first two albums had this in spades

her MPC, which she affectionately calls Lola, and this partnership allows

but the ones that followed all felt like the heart was missing.

her a range of instrumentation from keyboards to kazoo. It’s this richness that Estère sings over and swims amongst with her sweet vocals.

Not so with his latest offering. With the help of Rick Rubin and Dr Dre, Slim Shady is back to tell everyone what he thinks- and he’s not holding

Opening track, Reptilian Journey, has the sense, the tone and the funk

back (hooray!). The opening track ‘Bad Guy’ explores Eminem’s fear that

of Estère’s r ‘n’ b and soul influences, but the story is slightly out of the

he’s past it and the worry that allowing this fear to control him has turned

ordinary. Needless to say, not too many reptile songs fill these genres.

his psyche into his own worst enemy. (I think that it was avoiding this issue

Unfortunately that line blurs when her and Lola play I Spy on the next

that let down albums like Relapse and Recovery.)

track and she starts to slip into a gimmicky space that she is frankly too

The sampling of The Zombie’s ‘Time of Season’ gives structure to the

good for. Her voice, which won’t be to everyone’s liking, has light syrupy

rage against Eminem’s father in Rhyme or Reason and collaborations with

qualities and when paired with more juvenile subject matter she becomes

Kendrick Lamar, Rhianna, Sia, Nate Ruess, Jamie N Commons and Skylar

difficult to take seriously. Thankfully, the grooves of her beats bring her up

Grey, as well as samples from artists like Billy Squier (Berserk) round the

on the following tracks.

album out.

Stand out song here is Cruel Charlie with slick production and Estère’s

Stand out tracks: the machine gun unleash of Rap God, the country feel

vocals moving and manoeuvring in more complex ways. Its hook is some-

of So Far and the lilt of Beautiful Pain. But the best track on the album,

thing the EP could use a little more of though. There are some charming

hands down, is Headlights. An olive branch to his mother, the track is so

songs on this one, endearing and funky, but Estère can go a lot further.

stripped and honest, it’s had me in tears on more than one occasion- and Nate Ruess is genius on it.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

Divergent BOOK REVIEW BY MEGAN

Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT

Disclaimer: I have not seen the movie, I’m not sure if I want to see the movie. I am reviewing the book, not the movie. Ok, now we’re past that we can move on. This is another post-apocalyptic future thing (maybe I should read something else next time?) where the city is split into five factions which each embrace different qualities. At the age of sixteen, individuals are tested to see which faction suits them best and are required to choose which faction they will become a member of. Divergent follows Beatrice (Tris) prior to this process and through her time as an initiate in her chosen faction. Like most novels pitched at teens it explores identity, relationships with authority, the transition from child to adult and relationships with others. Because it’s all dystopian and weird, Divergent also manages to cover other topics, like class systems, the use of violence as a means of managing people, and “family” being something you can choose rather than something you’re born into. It does it pretty well, I can imagine high-school English classes picking it to bits for NCEA assessments and not actually whinging too much about having to read this book. Divergent is definitely pitched at teens…it’s not as terrible as a bunch of the young adult fiction I’ve read, but it’s not the best. I read it in less than 24 hours, which isn’t unusual because I read super-fast, but I’m not convinced that I actually liked it which is why there’s the disclaimer about the movie.

For a bit of fun I downloaded this game through Xbox’s Games With Gold a little while back, and I have to say that I wasn’t expecting much. Maybe a quick, simple game that would pass some time. But this thing has devoured over 30 (non-consecutive) hours of my time this past fortnight. From the look of it, it’s an unassuming puzzle-based role-play adventure game, but I contend that it must be laced with heroin or something just as addictive. The animation style is fairly simplistic – basic sprites for the most part, and it harks back to the old days, like early Final Fantasy games in this respect. The storyline itself is kind of thin and fairly straightforward, but there’s a sort of tongue-in-cheek humor that makes the dialogue fun. Battle-system-wise the game almost plays like a cross between Connect Four and Bejeweled, where you activate small groups of warriors, or individual Champions by matching them up with other warriors of the same colour. The fights can get a little repetitive, unfortunately, because there’s only one battle system, but if you’re used to the old school Final Fantasy system, it’s almost comparable. At least they mix things up from time to time (giving you alternative and specific methods for winning – eg having your warriors strike two targets simultaneously) There’s also an unhealthy heaping of Loading screens – so much so that I now have a detailed image of the game setting’s World Map burned into my retinas.

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HØNEST MATT MEETS ABSOLUTE VALUE AND BLAZEM Honest Matt Matt Hicks

Well known producers/DJs Absolute Value and bLazem have teamed up to

a certain element that one of us has contributed to a project it’s like ‘hey

release a new remix EP featuring some much loved local talent. Matt Hicks

man that arpegiated synth thing is a bit weird, how about we try it like

chats to the talented duo about their new collaboration due out May 19th.

this’ and we mess around and see what happens like that. Most times it

So tell us how you two first met and got to this stage of mak-

works well, and that’s a benefit of producing with someone – that whole

ing music together? Absolute Value: I met bLazem at the Rotation open

’2 heads is better than 1' thing. Absolute Value you have been based in

deck nights at Safari Lounge in Auckland when I first moved down to New

NZ for quite some time but now you’re based in Canada. Any plans

Zealand over eight years ago. We played a few gigs together over the

to return to Aotearoa? Absolute Value: At the moment the future is wide

years, but recently we started to notice that we were always catching

open. I’ve barely have my feet on the ground in Vancouver, but things are

the same Waiheke ferry out to go to the nights Charlie B and Gull were

going well over here at the moment. Ultimately I’d love to move back to

putting on out there. On one occasion I had recently played an old track

NZ, I’ve been finding myself really missing it the last few weeks. Was the

of bLazem’s on my New Zealand Electronic Show on Kiwi FM and asked

EP made in NZ or did you guys collaborate via the power of the World

him why he wasn’t writing tracks anymore. What’s the best/worst thing

Wide Web? bLazem: Technology has been key for us to be honest. Without

about doing a collaborative project? Any physical violence/shouting

the Internet we wouldn’t be able to do what we are doing. It can be taken

matches? Absolute Value: I’d say we have a pretty civilized production

for granted so easily. Living in this day and age is amazing, workflow and

relationship. After the first few tracks we wrote together I feel we really

productivity is fast thanks to the tech tools we have access to. I see you

glued and figured out our workflows and how to complete tracks. There

guys have put on your tracks on every possible download platform.

hasn’t been any mad shouting matches or anything like that in the studio,

Out of interest has there been one in particular that has been the

everything is pretty relaxed and chill and we both work to get the task

most effective for you? Absolute Value: Yes, it’s pretty exciting to get the

done. Since I’ve moved to the other side of the Pacific, we figured out a

music out everywhere. It’s a pretty cool feeling when you go to an online

way to sync our projects together and continue to collaborate. If anything

store, type your name into a search bar and your music comes up. It’s

I feel like we’ve become more productive since we’re making use of the

pretty early days with the stats at the moment, but we’ve seen a lot of

time we have, and not trying to work out a time we’re both free to head

sales from Juno, iTunes and Beatport.

into a studio together. bLazem: No heated discussions (yet). Hahaha nah we are both pretty straight up and laid back really, so if we aren’t feeling

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More at sounzgood.co.nz.

It’s time to give up your childlike pursuit of love. A lot of people spend their life chasing the dragon of happiness but let’s be honest, if you can’t be happy having random casual sex with a plethora of strangers then it might be time to get out of show business.

Accept that we are not in control of our destiny, our lives are meaningless and empty and we maintain a fragile peace with the earth as gravity stops us from flying off the ever-spinning surface and hurtling to what we can only imagine would be a quick and painful demise. Also try to drink more water.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

In a perfect world you would find success, happiness and the sense of selfworth you have long since craved. This, however, is not a perfect world. The best you can hope for is warm coffee in the morning, a perfectly rolled cigarette and someone who can almost stand to look at you. Failing that try frozen burritos, those things are fucking awesome.

Release your inner rage. It’s time. The dark forces have gathered and it’s time to get angry. Not in that someone-stole-your-sandwich kind of way either. You need to get having-sex-with-your-flatmate's-ex angry. Then you need to wait. Bide your time until the right moment. Then attend the tutorial.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Overcome with a sense of melancholy, the only question that remains to be asked is why someone so smart and talented would waste time reading horoscopes. I mean come on surely you are a little smarter than that. Just stop reading, you will be better for having done it.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Maybe now is a good time to unleash your inner child. Not in a Madeleine McCann way, more a “throw a tantrum, scream and cry until the people around you actually notice you again,” sort of way. Those who said crying never solved anything have clearly never tried to get someone’s attention.

Sometimes lethargy leave us overcome by the struggles of the world and in turn we become apathetic. So apathetic in fact that even the notion of reading, responding or even being able to finish writing a simple horoscope is tough. The only thing left to do is

As a citizen of the world you have a choice to make… fight or flight. However as a student there is always the third option of doing a funnel, smoking something and watching adventure time. Doesn’t that alone make your crippling student debt all seem worthwhile?

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

HOROSCOPES

If anyone is looking to buy the answers to the MCOM 103, or Law end of semester exams call Tom. They are going cheap and he is willing to exchange for weed. As for your horoscope...be more entrepreneurial.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

If fidelity to freedom of democracy is the code of our civic religion, then surely the code of our humanity is faithful service to that unwritten commandment that says we shall give our children better than we ourselves received. In other words recycle your steak on rice containers. The plastics bin is right there.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

People who say there is nothing worse in life than refusing to try never saw Miley sing Lucy in The Sky With Diamonds and the Billboard Music Awards. Having said that you should try anyway - what’s the worst that can happen?

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Often times the illusion of happiness and manifest destiny is tantamount to achieving ones goals. This might just be ones of those times. Fake it till you make it. It might all start to make you remember what success felt like.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

nexus magazine

Sing-A-Long BEATS BY J

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) The Proclaimers / Finest

Can You Feel The Love Tonight Elton John / The Lion King

Bee Gees / Saturday Night Fever

Stayin' Alive

Bohemian Rhapsody Queen / Greatest Hits

OutKast / Speakerboxxx / The Love Below

Roses

Journey / The Essential Journey

Don't Stop Believin'

Coolio / Gangsta's Paradise

Gangsta's Paradise

Shaggy / Ricardo Ducent / The Boombastic Collection

It Wasn't Me

The Pussycat Dolls / Busta Rhymes / PCD

Don't Cha

Th' Dudes

Bliss

Demi Lovato / Frozen

Let It Go

Snoop Dog / Wiz Khalifa / Bruno Mars Young, Wild & Free

Sublime / Duluxe Edition What I Got

Iggy Azalea / Charli XCX / The New Calssic Fancy

That Don't Impress Me Much

Shania Twain / Come On Over

Deja Voodoo / Brown Sabbath

Beers

N Sync / No Strings Attached

Bye Bye Bye

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AUTEUR PRESENTS BOB HOSKINS Auteur Dr Richard Swainson

When Bob Hoskins died late last month England lost one of its great

animation. Bob convinces both as an American and as a character interact-

working class actors. Whether talking in his native cockney dialect or

ing with life-size cartoons.

affecting a credible American accent Hoskins brought an earthy reality to

5. Nixon (1995). In the comparatively small role of J Edgar Hoover,

whatever project he graced. Comfortable in everything from Shakespeare

Hoskins is outstanding. Physically well cast, he brings an oily sense of

to light comedy he was surprisingly effective in fantasy films as well and

corruption and latent homosexuality to the part. Vastly superior to Leonard

found a special niche in the gangster genre.

DiCaprio's efforts 16 years later.

Auteur House stocks most of Hoskins' best work. Here's a Top 10 list: 1. Pennies from Heaven (1978). This mini-series both put Hoskins on the map as a leading man and reinforced Dennis Potter's reputation as the

redemption in the teaching of boxing, he's a heartbreaker.

most innovative television writer of his generation. Hoskins plays a deluded,

7. Felicia's Journey (1999). There can be no debate about Hoskins' skill

sexually obsessed seller of sheet music during the Great Depression. Part

in this thriller, just the film's worth. Canadian auteur Atom Egoyan's

film noir, part black comedy, part revisionist musical, the song and dance

serial killer drama is well crafted if unnecessary. Still, the most shaded

numbers are dramatised as subjective dreams with the cast miming to

of Hoskins' villains.

period recordings. 2. The Long Good Friday (1980). Hoskins plays to his natural strengths as a London hoodlum having a very bad day. A ground breaking British gangster film.

8. Last Orders (2001). Hoskins holds his own against the best of the 1960s predecessors in a sentimental ensemble piece. His romantic scenes with Helen Mirren are particularly noteworthy. 9. Mrs Henderson Presents (2005). This true wartime story of the London

3. Mona Lisa (1986). As an ex-con turned chauffeur who falls for the

stripping scene is more a vehicle for Judi Dench yet Hoskins has a rough

prostitute he's driving around, Hoskins enjoys arguably the best part of his

charm as her character's foil and business partner. He also takes his kit off.

career. A film noir premise is given added levels of poignancy through his

10. Made in Dagenham (2010). A semi-fictionalised account of the fight

performance alone. The climactic pier scene is especially moving with the

for equal pay for women in the British auto industry. The theme was very

actor conveying a lifetime's worth of frustration and loneliness.

much in keeping with Hoskins' off-screen politics. He brings his natural

4. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988). The comedy that made Hoskins a state side star, a gangster parody and grand homage to the golden age of

6. Twenty Four Seven (1997). Hoskins is the dramatic lynchpin in this contemporary tragedy. As an impoverished man looking for personal

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gravitas and warmth to the part of a sympathetic shop steward.

nexus magazine

NEW GALLERY NEW ART Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf

For those of you out there who feel that the arts are important and

Pilot, a work by Karin Hofko, called Self-titled.

add to the grand sum total in significant ways, there’s a new gallery in

You’re looking at a screen in which a young woman looks directly back

town that’s making a name for itself on Ward Street. It’s called Pilot and

at you and she is speaking with some earnestness, (it feels like a private

you’ll find it at number 5, just down from the Victoria Street end. Run by

audience) saying things like, “You are divine” and “I am mad about you”.

Karl Bayly, a young local artist, it’s the place to see and be seen at, cutting a

Initially it feels a little uncomfortable. It feels like she is addressing you per-

swathe through contemporary art practice, at the cutting edge, cutting the

sonally. Then she stops and a text appears across the screen which reads,

mustard. To give you the flavour of things at this new establishment, let me

‘That was a little pathetic’ or ‘Be more natural’. This prompts the woman

describe some of the works you would have seen if you’d visited recently.

to re-engage with her seduction or love talk with even more sincerity and

But first, a preamble.

tremor in the voice. After another ‘prompt’ and repetition, you realize that

If you know your history of philosophy, you’ll remember how Kant way

this is an act, a rehearsal, perhaps for some play, or perhaps for real; she’s

back in the eighteenth century introduced us to the then startling notion

trying out her lines to later use on someone. Maybe the text on screen was

that the mind acts as a filter through which we perceive reality. It left us

her own inner voice correcting and critiquing her performance. Then you

with the unsettling realization that we can never know what truth and real-

suddenly appreciate that the language she was using, all those ‘familiar’

ity really is. We’re forever trapped inside our own heads peering through

lines are familiar because they are givens, the stuff learnt or picked up

the lattice. Oh the humanity. The romantics however bought into this rev-

from somewhere, - books, magazines, stories, sitcoms, movies, poems.

elation with gusto, thought it was brilliant, the mind and imagination half

You see that her desperate attempts at sincerity suddenly sound slightly

creating the world. Others worried themselves sick about where truth and

false or contrived because they are clichés and well-worn tropes. Then

‘fiction’ started and left off. Fast forward to the twentieth century where

you recognize that you yourself may have said these self-same things

postmodern philosophers pushed Kant’s disclosure further by applying it

somewhere along the line. And so the realization hits home that even in our

to human culture, language in particular. Language speaks us rather than

most intimate personal and emotionally intense moments, we are scripted.

we are speaking language.

Love language is speaking us. We are wired and constructed. Where is the

Here’s how this notion was represented in a video art work recently at

Self? Oh the humanity.

PHOTOGRAPH: PAUL MAGUIRE

nexus magazine

ORLANDO Overseas Experience Paul Maguire

Where did you go? Orlando, Florida. What is the duration of your stay?

number of friends certainly made for a good time all the time. What are

Was just a short trip of 90 days, basically the duration of a visitors visa so I

your 'must do' things while at this place? Florida as a whole is a popular

didn’t have to deal with the excess paperwork and keep my bank balance

tourist destination so there is always something to do with an abundance

in check. How many people did you travel with or did you travel alone?

of theme parks, wildlife safaris and more to get amongst. A ‘must do’

Traveled with one of my best buddies Nik Gibson, in saying that though

would be check out the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral. We

there was a whole swag of fellow Kiwis either already over there or com-

were fortunate enough to be there for a rocket launch which was certainly

ing during our stay. Why did you choose this particular destination?

an experience. What was something unexpected? Seeing a few alliga-

Orlando is pretty much considered the mecca of wakeboarding. We were

tors grazing on the front lawn was a pretty unexpected situation coming

over there to get some water time ahead of the IWWF World Wakeboard

from New Zealand. What would you have done differently in hindsight?

Championships. They are generally held during our winter so it’s a conve-

America is a funny place, there’s nothing like grabbing something off the

nient and productive escape from New Zealand’s winter blues. What have

shelf and then they whack you with tax at the counter. Be prepared to

been the highlights of your trip? There were definitely plenty but in this

carry some loose change.

case but the experience of hanging on the other side of the globe with a

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nexus magazine

SO WHAT CONSTITUTES A 'DWARF PLANET'? Awesome Dead Person Christie Shaw

BOSS. SAW ME A MOUSE GO BY. Awesome Dead Person Mike Bilodeau

American astronomer Clyde Tombaugh is most commonly known for discovering Pluto, which is pretty impressive if I don't say so myself. I feel somewhat ripped off now that Pluto

The Green Mile was one of the most emotionally complicated

apparently isn't a planet, but Mr. Tombaugh was an esteemed

movies ever. You get any cross-section of people sat in front of a

scientist who led a particularly interesting life. He has an aster-

TV screen to watch it, and you will get every one of them to damn

oid named after himself, (Asteroid 1604 Tombaugh) and was also

near tears over an illiterate, African-American, wizard giant.

responsible for identifying the Kuiper Belt in which Pluto sits. With college plans thwarted by the hailstorm of 1922, Tombaugh

Michael Clarke Duncan was the large black man that epitomises large black men. A rags to riches story to say the least, Duncan

decided to build telescopes and mirrors. After sending drawings

went from being a ditch digger and... male entertainer... to one of

of planets to the Lowell Observatory they offered him a job and

the most respected giants in Hollywood.

off he went. His education would come post discovering Pluto

It will surprise absolutely no-one that Duncan originally worked

when he gained a Masters degree in Astronomy. In World War II he

his way into the limelight as a bodyguard, working for celebrities

educated the navy on navigation at the Northern Arizona University.

such as Will Smith and Jamie Foxx (and even fake celebrities like

Later he worked at the White Sands Missile Range, and continued

Martin Lawrence!). What may surprise you though is that he was

to teach astronomy until he retired in 1973.

meant to be guarding Biggie Smalls on the day when he was

On Tuesday, February 18 1930, Tombaugh discovered Pluto.

tragically gunned down, but fortunately swapped shifts with a

Naming the planet was made into a competition, and Venetia

co-worker. Or perhaps unfortunately, as Duncan stated that his co-

Burney, (an 11 year old schoolgirl's suggestion) was eventually

worker did not take nearly the level of precautions which were due

chosen. Pluto is the name of the Roman god of the underworld and,

for the Notorious BIG and advised on how he would have handled

combined with P-L being Percival Lowell's initials, the name stuck.

the position differently. He could have saved him… He could still

Dying at a ripe old age of 90, some of Tombaugh's ashes are on

be lovin’ when they call him Big Poppa…

board the New Horizons probe that is on its way to Pluto. His wife

You can tell from a quick browse on IMDB.com how everyone

died in 2012 aged 100, so they were evidently doing something

thought his acting career was going to go. From 1995 there is a

right.

huge series of uncredited roles as security guards and Bouncer’s

When the Kuiper Belt was discovered in the 1990's, Pluto's clas-

named “Big Mike”, then BOOM ‘Armageddon’ jumps in (with his

sification was called into question as numerous other bodies were

character named ‘Bear’… which speaks to the awesome originality

discovered of similar size in proximity to Pluto. In 2006, after the

of Hollywood writers) and throws a spanner in his kitchen sink of

discovery that another rock near Pluto was actually bigger, Pluto

mediocrity.

was reclassified to a 'dwarf planet.' While Tombaugh's wife was

Bruce Willis, apparently impressed with his… presence... started

upset by the reclassification she stated that her husband would

recommending him out for everything. It was Willis who first got

have accepted the scientific principles regarding the decision. And

him his Oscar nominated role in The Green Mile. And then… well…

let's be honest, it's not like she would really be able to do anything

then you see him goddamn everywhere. Playing as much range as

about it.

a 6”5’, 140 kg man can play.

Over his life Tombaugh discovered a total of 800 asteroids,

Reportedly he would also give $20 to anyone on the street who

hundreds of variable stars and star clusters, as well as a galaxy

recognized him and knew his full name… I couldn’t fit that into an

supercluster. I googled galaxy supercluster, and nope, I don't know

article but… I find it funny.

what that is either.

Now… I want to write an appropriate ending to this article but

Tombaugh was an interesting man of science (clearly not my

honestly, all I can think about is going home and watching the

forte evidently), and despite turning senile and getting 'really into'

green mile before I have to start work. So, yadda yadda yadda

UFO's and the like, he was a pretty legitimate fellow. Still very

heart disease yadda too young to lose, fuck you and fuck your

upset about my now archaic planet knowledge however…

stupid goddamn article.

nexus magazine

Jules Craft, king of the house shindig tells us how to get our parties poppin'. He may or may not have been drunk at the time of writing. I have no issue with town. In fact I like to think myself

was “a quick mission out to my stash.” This can only be a

somewhat of a connoisseur when it comes to the fresh

result of the tyrannical alcohol prices that create a power

top 40 flow of 101 and Outback. However every now and

shift and in turn changes our social relationships. As a result

again I very much enjoy a good old fashioned house party.

of having to pay ridiculous alcohol prices, the people of

Nelly really hit the nail on the head with the “Let’s get it

Gisborne found it harder to part with their own woodies but

started in here,” but the question is how? How do we get

easier to make someone else part with theirs. This changes

it started Nelly? Stop talking shit and give us some ideas!!

the entire meaning of “sharing a drink with your mate” as

I suppose asking him is just a smidgen unrealistic but if any

the social relationship that came with sharing drinks was

of you guys know his P.R manager please fill him in about

now extended to “stealing ya mates piss.” What we can

the disgruntled public who can’t seem to start their own

deduce from this is if you are hosting a party and you want

parties. Na, flag Nelly we don’t need him anyway, plastered

it to go large, you’re gonna need to shout a few kegs of

muppet. The formula for a good house party is always a

ice breaker ‘cause we don’t want to have to be snatching

tricky little number but I reckon we can sort a few things

from the bros boxes!

out through the use of historic critical analysis. The first historic event I want to take you back to is

For our second event let us look at the epistemology: Knowledge about oneself, others and society is influenced

Ressie Jichards party when I was in 6th form. Let me set

by powerful discourses (e.g capitalism and technology).

the scene: the place was jumping, out in the back yard

First semester holidays break 2013 I naively travelled to

there was a strobe and bushes to hide your Woodstocks,

Wellington for a good time. On the first day I got there I lost

all the sisters and brothers were up in there, it just felt

my I.D, my cash, and all my eftpos access. I’d like to say

the mean vibes. Now if we were to critically analyse this

it was from a crazy loose time but I just lost it on the bus

through an ontological perspective we would have to look

like the idiot I can sometimes be. As result I ended up only

at how “the cultural practices, meanings and social relation-

going to house/hostel parties. One night I found myself in

ships are shaped by power relations in society.” As we can

the cube. Although the party was pumping I felt like I was

see in Gisborne at the time, there was a cultural practice

inside a toastie sandwich with too many ingredients: every-

of hiding your woodies in the bushes. Going to get a drink

one was kinda oozing into the other tiny little rooms and out

“AS A RESULT OF HAVING TO PAY RIDICULOUS ALCOHOL PRICES, THE PEOPLE OF GISBORNE FOUND IT HARDER TO PART WITH THEIR OWN WOODIES BUT EASIER TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE PART WITH THEIRS.”

nexus magazine

the front door. We can see here that as a result of the stu-

researcher, I affected the results found from this situation

dent population having less access to resources than other

as I was actually there and influenced the process we are

groups, they are forced to live in small spaces. Everyone

studying. What we can deduce from this that if you don’t

should have the right to afford a decent party space but,

want Todd to be the only one having a good time you have

due to discourses such as capitalism, there is an unfair

to include those oppressed groups that are kicked out just

dispersal of wealth which means that only business men

because you don’t know them. Trust your mates to bring

and women or corporates can afford a significant chunk of

good cats along with them.

space to throw parties in. What we can deduce from this is that if you want your party to blow bigger than a man with

So there you have it! Parties through critical analysis. Cheers mcom 220. Crafty Out x.

“TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT WE WEREN’T INVITED TO IT AT ALL, IN FACT WE WERE SO UN-INVITED THAT BOTTLES WERE FLYING AT US AS WE RAN DOWN THE DRIVEWAY WITH TEARS IN OUR EYES FROM BEING REJECTED THREE TIMES.”

big lungs you’ll need to find some corporate sponsorship.

CRAFTY’S 5 TOP TIPS FOR A FLAT RIOT

Tell Durex you’ll force everyone to come dressed as used

Food is your responsibility.

condoms if they agree to rent out the Gallagher building

Buy some sausage rolls, don’t be an asshole.

for your next shindig.

Trust your friends to bring good cunts with them, don’t

“social fact” is value laden. The researcher does influence

throw people out just because you don’t know them, they

the research process. My third and final historic event is

might be your next best friend.

the party I nearly got bottled at. It all starts out somewhere

Get a good ratio of guys and girls.

near Papamoa, where my friend had told me to come to a

Don’t want it to feel rapey or turn into a sausage fest.

birthday bash “we were invited to.” To cut a long story short

Be innovative.

we weren’t invited to it at all, in fact we were so un-invited

Create a team feel, flip cup is compulsory, you’ll need a

that bottles were flying at us as we ran down the driveway

massive table.

with tears in our eyes from being rejected three times. I

Happy drunks.

always think of this as a rotten night however our friend

Stop fucking complaining, have another drink and keep the

Todd managed to sneak in for a little bit of shape cutting

vibe jumping, smile more, be happy.

and he reckons it was all good. Here we can see that, as a

Be a welcoming cunt.

The axiological paradigm of critical thinking states: Every

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Scrumpy Monkey

THE PRESIDENT OF THE ALCOHOLIC STUDENT CAMARADERIE ASSOCIATION

Drinking games have a long and illustrious history here at Waikato- and we are not talking about Red or Black, or the Drunken Bus Driver- at all. Everyone knows that if you play card games it means your flat sucks. If there is nothing better going on in your flat than to flip cards over and get boozed then this article is for you! There is no need for card games. Ever. Waikato students

of wine before 10am. A sober driver then drops them at

need to get better at talking to each other and if you’re

the BP in Cambridge. Participants must hitchhike back to

forced to play with cards it’s time to up your game. Get

Hamilton and consume a 6pack of Diesel before they arrive

better sounds, get better people. Supply food. Get a fun-

back home. First one home wins. You lose points if you

nel at the very least. Then read on for some fabulous new

chunder in someone’s car. We like this game because you

shenanigans to transform your flat from sad to sauced! Here we have the seven most popular drinking games, as sourced from flats around campus. Try them out and send amusing pictures to editor@nexusmag.co.nz

get to meet new people and see some of the gorgeous countryside around our fair city. 5. Survivor. Hit the warehouse and grab yourself a tent, a pirate’s costume and a blow up boat. This might seem like

7. Box in a Box. This works as a great red card. Source

a big outlay, but it will be worth it. Take your tent and set

yourself some boxes from pak ‘n’ save, or your neighbour’s

it up on Bucky Island. Grab some rum, and get your pirate

cardboard recycling. Source yourself a box each from your

on. You’re now marooned on an island. The only way to

local liquor merchant. Climb inside your box before the sun

pass the time until the ship comes back is to drown your

goes down and start drinking. You’re not allowed out of

scallywag sorrows in rum. The game ends once everyone

your box until you’ve finished your box. By the time that

has finished their rum bottle or someone drowns.

happens, the sun will have truly set, which, in your inebri-

4. Moses Mile. Map out a set distance (a mile is best for

ated state will seem spacey. Perfect prep for a big night.

the alliteration, but we work in metrics here so a km will

One-up your game by playing a box in a box in a box. (Think

do). This can be around the uni field or on the way to town

about it.)

(watch out for the liquor ban). After every 100m, stop and

6. Huck and Hitch. Participants must drink two bottles

do a funnel. No surrender! We like this game because it

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reminds us of all those times we got out of Math class

immaturity in NZ. You will need- two bottles of Gisborne

to measure shit around school, but it’s better, because it

made scrumpy- none of that old mout shit.

has alcohol.

Then you have the dilemma of tape- I recommend kiwi

3. Pub Golfing. Split into 2 teams, about 5 on each team.

black duct tape because it gives off the vibe that you’re a

Get your game face on and dress up as rich golfers. Pick

DIY mastermind. Or you can go for the classic see through

nine bars- these become the nine ‘holes’ for the course.

cellotape if you’re a seasoned scrumpy monkey. That way,

Walk into each bar and buy the cheapest drink that’s not a

you’re not bragging, don’t want to make a deal about it, and

shot. However many sips or slugs it takes to drink it is how

people might just think you’re holding your drinks. Or that

many points you get. The first and last ‘holes’ have to be

they’re floating in the air. Either way, people will admire

a hole in one. If you spill any liquid, you have to re-tee off

your suaveness.

(and floor or table suck rules apply).

Tape that cider shit on. Then you begin, and do not sur-

After the ninth hole, you have to go for after match

render. You have no hands so you need people to unzip

drinks. Combine your team’s points. Whoever has the

your fly, open doors and carry you home. It’s funny to down

“POSSUM COMES DEEP FROM THE HEART OF RURAL COMMUNITIES WHERE THERE IS NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN GET DRUNK, CLIMB TREES AND TIP COWS.”

highest number are the losers- their punishment is that

trou someone with Scrumpy hands because they can’t pull

they have to buy everyone a drink. If you spend 10 minutes

them up again.

at each bar it means you’ll drink 10 drinks in 140mins. You

Now for the monkey part. This comes from a game called

should be able to do it for about $50 (especially if it’s thirsty

Possum- where you climb up a tree with a box and you

Thursday). We like this game’s creativity and teamwork. It’s

can’t come down until you finish your box, or you get so

an excellent framework to start a big night out. 2. Wizard sticks. Drink something that comes in a can. Every can you finish, tape to the bottom of your new can.

get drunk, climb trees and tip cows.

With each drink your ‘wizard stick’ will grow. The longer

Scrumpy Monkey takes the best part of both of these

your wizard stick, the wiser you are. The aim is to have

games: you have to climb up a tree with no hands (hilari-

your wizard stick grow taller than you are- and then use it

ous), and then you have to stay there until you finish your

to battle your friends. We like this game because watching

scrumpy (win). Scrumpy Monkey tops our list of best drink-

people battle with wizard sticks is hilarious. It’s also easier

ing games because it encourages teamwork and brings

to put your empties in the recycle bin because they’re

people together. If more than 10 of you are playing (and

taped together.

you should be) it’s worth it to see one person fall out. There

1. Scrumpy Monkey. If you don’t understand the concept of scrumpy hands then you’re an idiot who doesn’t understand one of the fundamental building blocks of

drunk you fall out. Possum comes deep from the heart of rural communities where there is nothing better to do than

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are a variety of trees around campus that are perfect for Scrumpy Monkey. Get amongst it!

nexus magazine

You don't have to be broke, hungry, single and have failed your last assignment to get drunk- but it helps. Messy Elliot has all the best reasons to get messy. A poster is doing the rounds of uni at the moment, stating that 1

the afternoon typing in a dark room with my sunglasses on that

in 8 people drinking this weekend will get drunk. I think that’s

I cracked that elusive A+. Dancing makes you brave, but drinking

a bullshit statistic (it’s an affront if I’m being honest- we party way

makes you clever.

harder than that), but if it is true, then what the hell are the other 7 of you doing? If you’re going drinking- do it properly!

5. It’s cold. Waikato winters are damp, cold and ugly- and most flats aren’t insulated. For those of you who are yet to experience

There’s nothing like blowing off steam to make those assignments

a winter on campus know this- some days the fog doesn’t lift until

look easier, your bills look less scary, and life just that little bit more

4pm- when the fog starts rolling in. All those wondering how girls

awesome.

can go to town in such little clothing at this time of year need to

To counteract some of the bad press drinking is copping, here are

understand the effectiveness of a booze jacket. Decent alcohol burns

some good reasons for drinking. (You know, aside from the fact that

going down and can keep you warm in even the shittiest of condi-

everyone is getting married, having babies, travelling the world or

tions- why do you think the Scots drink so much whiskey?

rocking their shiny new jobs and you’re at still at uni.) 1. Alcohol makes you more creative. According to the University

6. You’re supporting the economy. I tried to research this but I got drunk instead, so instead of statistics, think about how many people

of Illinois, students with a blood alcohol level above .07 perform

work in liquor stores. How many people work in bars? More than

creative problem solving tasks heaps better than boring sober

that- how many jobs are there in manufacture, transportation and

people. Alcohol diminishes your capacity to focus, so it allows you

promotion of alcohol? Don’t let the economy down- get amongst

to think outside the box. This is an important consideration for me,

it instead.

as 70% of my thesis is creative writing. Many great writers are

7. It’s non-conformist. Stick it to the man and have another drink.

alcoholics: Edgar Allen Poe, Jack Kerouac, William Faulkner, Ernest

Enough of the ad campaigns telling you about the evils of drink-

Hemingway… and it’s no coincidence that many of their works make

ing- you’re only young once, and what’s ‘youth’ if it’s not misspent?

the creative writing course reader. In summary, Dr Slaughter made

And how on earth can you walk around sober knowing you’re an

me do it.

insignificant speck in an infinite and uncaring universe- or that you’re

2. You’re broke. Some would say that an empty bank account is a good reason not to drink or go to town. But they’re full of shit.

just another bleary-eyed first year rolling late into your lecture? No one cares about you except alcohol. Embrace it.

Nothing drains the life-force and energy from a student faster than

Other important things to keep in mind:

the crushing reality of being broke- so get out, have a few drinks

-Al-Qaeda forbids drinking- and no one should be listening to

and forget your troubles! Options for financing some shenanigans

Al-Qaeda. If you are, then maybe you should re-think your life choices.

are varied: ask your Mum for some cash. Ask your sister for some

-The odds of getting a liquor ban fine twice have to be negligible.

cash. Get a credit card. Get a mate to spot you, pay them back later.

-Exams are almost here.

Don’t forget- the zero on your bank statement is temporary- and life

-If you don’t drink it, someone else will.

is too short to miss out on a rad party.

- Your friends can’t have a good time without you.

3. You’re hungover. You don’t get hungover unless you quit drinking-

-Your friends might have a good time without you.

and no one likes a quitter. Ride the wave of alcoholic awesomeness,

And, if all else fails, apply the following:

never come down! Naysayers will try to convince you that the best

It’s a day of the week ending in ‘Y’

way to avoid a hangover is to not drink. Do not listen. They’re just

Monday- another shitty week of classes just started.

trying to drag you down and ain’t no one got time for that.

Tuesday- we’re still pretty far from the weekend, too depressing.

4. You have an assignment due. Scientific experiments conducted during my first year of university conclude that drinking makes you smarter. How else do you explain the 98% I scored on the assign-

Wednesday- you made it halfway through the week. You deserve a reward. Thursday- might as well start the weekend early.

ment I wrote while suffering the worst hangover of my life? I scored

Friday- you made it through another week!

a healthy 70% in the two prior assignments, but it wasn’t until I

Saturday- what the fuck else are you going to do?

spent the night carving up the d-floor with the “two hands/two

Sunday- a new week is about to start, might as well go out strong.

drinks” mentality, the early hours hugging the porcelain bowl and

nexus magazine

A HARD ACT TO FOLLOW Politics Ryan Wood

Welcome to the first in what may or may not be a regular

percentage, regardless of whether they’re on minimum wage

series on the minor parties in New Zealand politics. If,

or a millionaire. ACT also sees no reason for the Government

like me, you find National unpalatable and Labour uninspiring,

to own power companies or anything like that. They would sell

then perhaps you’re considering giving your precious vote –

off every state asset, including KiwiBank, which would sim-

earned with blood at Gallipoli – to one of the smaller parties

ply become ‘Bank’. ACT would also get rid of all government

in Parliament. In order to assist with this important civic duty,

departments they consider superfluous, such as Women’s

the Nexus political team has compiled a handy pocket guide

Affairs and Tourism. Of course, while they believe in slashing

for each party. This week: the Association of Consumers and

most Government budgets, one area of Government they do

Taxpayers, better known as ACT.

think needs more power is the police. If you think about it,

What’s Their Deal? The ACT Party was founded on the prin-

What about Students? Well, that’s the exciting part. ACT

merit and the free market. Their current leader is Jamie Whyte,

believes firmly in putting interest back on student loans which

a possible Libertarian and former philosophy lecturer. He’s the

are, apparently, a form of ‘middle-class welfare’. In fact, I

latest in a long line of illustrious ACT leaders, including social

suspect Jamie Whyte would very much like to retrospectively

conservative John Banks and doddery old sexpot Don Brash.

apply interest to all of our loans. I’m not sure what else they

They currently have one MP in parliament who helps to prop

have in store, but that policy seems like kind of a big deal. I

up the current government. There was also a youth wing

mean, seriously guys, come on.

called ‘ACT on Campus’, but I think the WSU president cast

So, there you have it. If you’re extremely rich and do not

them into a herd of swine and drove them into the lake some

have a financial care in the world, then ACT is probably the

time ago. I could be wrong, though.

party for you. If, however, you’re one of the 99% of human

Give Me Some Policies Alright, so ACT believes in lower taxes, even lower than National’s. In fact, they believe in a flat tax rate – this means that everyone is taxed at the exact same

you’ll understand why.

ciples of individual rights, smaller government, the merit of

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beings who has no idea what might be coming around the corner, then perhaps you should keep your options open.

nexus magazine

DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER? Aunty Slut

Dear Aunty Slut,

huge cock I’m fucking you with” (NB: he doesn’t actually have

I’ve been seeing this guy for a week or so, we haven’t had sex

to say that to make it awkward.) If he’s resting on his laurels- i.e.

yet but yesterday we did a bunch of other stuff (which was fun)

being too fucking lazy to learn how to get someone off because

however now I’m worried I’m not going to like having sex with him “it’s big, it’s automatic”- then he’s a way more hopeless case than because he has a small one. What should I do? - Underwhelmed

a guy who is less well-endowed. Huge cocks also prevent some of the more creative positions- because they hurt. In my experience, a big cock is just a recipe for fucking disaster- mostly because

Dear Underwhelmed,

everyone seems to think that huge

Aunty Slut voraciously advocates going after your pleasure, and that

cocks are god’s gift to women, and

if it doesn’t feel right, that you should go find something that does.

most of the people who think that

If his penis is the size of a chapstick, and penetrative pleasure

are douche-bags. Any dude who

is important to you, then by all means, go find a bigger package.

thinks he’s all that because his cock

“ANY DUDE WHO THINKS HE’S ALL THAT BECAUSE HIS COCK IS

All that being said, dick size is way down the list of reasons why

is above average size is going to be

ABOVE AVERAGE SIZE IS GOING

a guy is good or not in bed. In my opinion, making good or bad sex

a shit lover. Give me a dude with an

about dick size is for people who are too useless to put any effort

average cock who really turns me

TO BE A SHIT LOVER.”

into having amazing sex. When I think about the sex so spectacular

on, who knows how to use it and

I fell out of bed versus the sex so terrible I actually got him to

actually cares about whether or not

stop halfway through and kicked him out, there is no correlation

I’m screaming for him instead of a useless salami wielder any day.

between those things and size. In fact, if I was to make any sort

Basically, anything at either extreme end of the dick-size spec-

of link, I would say that the guys who weren’t as well-endowed

trum is going to cause some sort of issue. How big or small a deal

were better lovers. They tried harder. They cared that I was having

it is is up to you. Enjoying penetrative sex is not just about cock

a good time. They had taken the time to learn lots of different ways

size, it’s about confidence, rhythm, attraction… It’s also about lick-

to give me pleasure, because they were worried the penetrative

ing your fingers and getting your clit involved if that’s what gets

part wasn’t going to be so great. Because they cared and they were

you off. It comes down to whether he’s bothered to learn how to

enthusiastic about my pleasure, the penetrative part was awesome.

use it to get you off. If you really like this guy, give him a whirl. He

Of course size matters- to the guy. If he’s embarrassed by his

might surprise you.

cock then he’s not going to be all that confident about wielding it to make you come, is he? But infinitely worse than that in my

Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz

opinion is a guy with a bigger cock who’s all like “yeah, look at this

nexus magazine

REV-CELEBRITY STATUS

ZINEFEST Louise vs the World Louise Hutt

The Foreign Invasion Melody Wilkinson

I found out about Zinefest while messaging a blog I found to So, there is a new category of people I can add to the list of things that make me into a crazy person. I am well into adulthood now (there is no need for details here) but comfortable with myself and don’t feel the need to solicit constant validation. If you follow my column you will remember how I become a silly, sniveling teenage girl when it comes to professors on campus. I thought this was the extent of it until I started taking a rev class at the Rec centre. Apparently the spin instructors have the same effect on me. The other day I stayed after class to ask a question about technique. Now this would have been okay if I had listened calmly to her answer, thanked her and LEFT THE ROOM. Unfortunately (for both of us I expect) I also felt the need to detail my life story, all ailments I am currently suffering from, as well as provide an intricate description of my workout regime… twice. I mean, I realized about two sentences into the second rendition that I was just repeating myself, but it was too late and out it flowed. Meanwhile, another instructor who I had managed to babble about vomit to just two days prior entered and had to wait for my monologue to finish. For once

tell them how cool they are (a trend you’ll see more about further on). They are an anarchist publishing collective based in New Zealand and a perfect example for my Masters thesis as well as just being a cool thing in general. They messaged me back and said if I was interested in small scale publishing, Hamilton were having their very own zine fest and I should go. I was pretty excited, I’ll admit. Sometimes I can live in a pretty isolated world. The university can be stuffy and boring, I can get bogged down with assignments and not actually get that much fun (read: non-stressful), creative stuff done, let alone with like-minded people (several of my crafty friends have moved on to more exciting cities and ventures, insert crying emoticon here). However, no longer will I allow myself to be a slave to my studies, but truly try to take the opportunity to do cool stuff when it arises. Walking into Creative Waikato and seeing a room full of people talking about and sharing their crafts made me feel less like the only weird crafty creative person to ever have existed. I very quickly ran out of my allotted money to spend but people were more than happy

I was grateful my post-exercise face looks like I have a sunburn; it hid the intense blush as I made an escape. Then, as I am pondering this horrible experience and reasons why I may have lost the ability

“...NO LONGER WILL I ALLOW MYSELF TO BE

to control myself, I realize I had subjected this poor lady to my life

A SLAVE TO MY STUDIES, BUT TRULY TRY TO

story just four short weeks ago… What the heck is wrong with me?

TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO COOL STUFF

I have functioned in normal society for quite a while now. Most people don’t know the specific details of every single one of my

WHEN IT ARISES.”

work outs. Also, I decided quite some time ago that enough people were privy to various elements of my childhood. So why oh why do I feel the need to blurt it out to these people? It’s made even worse because I can see on their faces the moment when they would really appreciate it if I would just shut up. I mean, they are SUPER nice and really good at what they do. But I am pretty sure when they signed a job contract it did not include “dealing with deranged students after class”. So to all rev instructors I hereby apologize. I cannot, however, promise it will not happen again because after I swore to myself I would never keep a rev instructor after class again… I did. Yesterday. maydaydownunder.blogspot.co.nz.

to accept what few coins I had left or hand out freebies or two for ones. I felt so incredibly guilty at accepting their generosity because everything in there was amazing and I wanted to take it all home but they had spent so much time and effort making it. That, in my mind, was worth more than the coins I had or the compliments I only had as payment when those coins very quickly ran out. However that was the amazing thing about it, everyone was there to be crafty and awesome together, even if you didn’t have the means to take their stuff home. They were more than happy to talk about what they did or give out postcards with their websites on it or work out some way for everyone to share in it together.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

I ONLY EVER WANT TO DRINK OUT OF A BOOT Give a Shit Tee-Ship

So I show up to this party right, late obviously, cause

As I watch, swigging away at my bottle of Malibu—that I

that’s what assholes do. I’m 18 and ain’t nobody gonna

am convinced is beginning to taste like the final season of

tell me when to be some place, and that’s real (even

Miami Vice—other patrons of this raging shindig are catch-

though I’m really 26 and abide by the guidelines given to

ing onto the fact that this comatose canvas is fair game

me by various authoritative figures ie. police, parents etc…

as far as the art world is concerned. Soon the shirt comes

and maybe I’m not even at a party, maybe this is all in my

off, risqué of course but where else are they supposed

head…) I walk past a group a babin’ babes that are all “Hey

to draw? His forehead is already emblazoned with the all

TeeShip!” and I’m like pfft whatever (in my head because

seeing eye, his chin now a devilish goatee… the only logical

I’m too heavily real to acknowledge anybody in public, be

progression was to move on to the torso. A small crowd

they babes or otherwise). Anyways so I’m strollin’ through

has gathered and his upper body has become a collage

lookin’ for a quiet place to crack open my bottle of Malibu

of everything homoerotic, gang affiliated and just plain

(because coconut flavored liqueur is what being 18 is about)

nonsensical; a VW symbol over his heart, tic tac toe on his

and perhaps a bottle of 7-Up (because as far as I’m con-

stomach, “Westside for life” scrawled across his clavical in

cerned this is still the 90s) when I spot a buddy of mine

that California-love kind of font, you know the one I mean.

passed out on the couch. He has little chunks of what look

It’s all just terrible. Hilariously terrible.

like cheese on his chin and “ock sucker” scrawled on his

As the night swirls on, the bottles drain empty, somebody

cheek, also a black smudge that I can only assume is a C on

fights somebody, which is always a good time, and people

the back of his hand. The penis drawing pointed towards his

go home. Everybody forgets the human mural who, lying

mouth is a masterpiece. Although small, due to the artist

on his back has choked to death on his own vomit…

needing to fit it onto his slap-cheeked baby face, I like to

This hypothetical shit got real.

think that it’s a proximity issue and I am simply seeing it

Give a shit about your buddies.

from far away.

nexus magazine

DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FRANTIC. Alix Abroad Alix Higby

As you all know, I’m a fair way off across the Pacific at the mo, and at a great distance from my loved ones. I thought I was doing alright with my top notch FaceTime and Skype double team, but even technology can only take us so far. I was sitting in class one Monday, only slightly drifting off, and my iPhone blinks at me a message from my mother, “Hate to give you bad news…” and after that I couldn’t tell you what the class was about, but I will tell you that I stayed the entire lesson even if I spent that time squinting at the chair in front of me and consciously regulating my breathing. It’s absolute balls to be useless at a distance when someone close to you is sick. It’s a whole ‘nother level when that person is dying. I realise this is a topic no one wants to look at on a Monday morning, but this is a column about my student travels abroad, and talking about the frat parties I went to seems a little weak without even a mention of the other shit that’s going on. So here is the shit. All over the back inside of my skull and a thin film over my eyes. I walk a precarious position from here on out.

“I STOLE A SORORITY GIRL’S IPHONE WHILE SHE WAS ON THE PATIO HOOKING UP WITH SOME DUDE (SORRY), A BUNCH OF QUARTERS FROM A FRAT BOY’S PIGGY BANK (TO WASH MY TOWELS), AND AN UGLY PLAID SHIRT FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER.”

I must be prepared to jet home if and when things get really bad, which means I’ll have to leave my summer plans to rot for a good 5-10 years until I can save up the cash again. I’m hesitant about any decision I make, as short term as it may seem. It’s kind of bullshit, really. But life is, indeed, bullshit. Really. The best we can do is work with what we’ve got and try not to let the dried lumps of shit get caught in our hair, because no one needs to see that. I went out frat hopping on the following Thursday, just to make sure I didn’t spin out too much because I felt so useless, and I actually had a greeeeeat time. I stole a sorority girl’s iPhone while she was on the patio hooking up with some dude (sorry), a bunch of quarters from a frat boy’s piggy bank (to wash my towels), and an ugly plaid shirt for absolutely no reason whatsoever. My friend was so hammered an RA threatened to call the EMT, and I was so drunk I forgot I was gluten intolerant and downed a Fat Sal’s sandwich in what was probably a disgusting feat to observe. I also snapchatted everyone each of these events (collective apology - add me alix4katy) I returned the iPhone the next day because how stupid is that. But I figured frat boy could shout me a wash cycle and the plaid shirt should not see the light of day in any circumstance. It was a god damn adventure, particularly sneaking around fraternities in a wannabe James Bond, but more Get Smart in reality, style looking to cause trouble. One day, we will get arrested and deported. And I suppose that’s one way to deal with grief and get home sooner.

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HOW TO DRESS SEXY A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson

Dressing sexy is always in fashion, and if there’s any-

sophistication, but more importantly, they show off your

one who knows about being sexy, it’s me. I’m basically

cute bum.

the lovechild of Fabio and Arnold Schwarzenegger; I’m that

Narrow Ties. Now here’s just-the-tip for the guys. Dressing

sexy. I have a waist to hip ratio of 0.7, perfect for impromptu

sexy as a male is simple: either wear nothing or dress like

sexy dancing, as well as bearing children. Yeah, I know

you’re going to a casual business meeting. For the second,

about sexy, so listen up.

actually, for both options, a narrow tie is absolutely neces-

Yoga Pants. The Chive called yoga pants “the male equiva-

sary. Why narrow you ask?

lent of a diamond ring.” Whether this is sexist or not is up

Because unless styled properly (usually disappearing into

for debate, however, whether yoga pants are sexy is most

a done up jacket or coat) wide ties can very easily enter

certainly not. In the great words of Chingy, “Damn, girl,

baby bib, or worse, Rob Ford territory. Narrow ties look

how you get all o' that in dem yoga pants?”

sophisticated and stylish and, unlike skinny ties, they suit

Tattoos. Chicks dig tats. Popular tattoos include infinity

all body types.

symbols and meaningful quotes such as “live, laugh, love”.

Crop Tops. Even if you’re wearing something high-waisted

If you’re white, consider investing in a vaguely ethnic piece

and thus showing no skin, crop tops scream confidence

of ink inspired by that cool guy at the gym. If you’d rather

–the sexiest thing of all.

not get your innocent virgin skin absolutely ruined for life,

Garter Belts. Explaining why garter belts are sexy is like

be shunned by your parents and worship the devil, invest

explaining why Lorde became famous. Nobody knows why.

in a mesh tattoo shirt. Same diff.

Fedora and a Trench Coat. If all else fails, a simple black

Pencil Skirts. Pencil skirts are sexy for two reasons: Firstly,

fedora and camel trench will suffice in achieving maximum

pencil skirts are an incredibly classy item of clothing

sexiness. Neck beards are optional, though highly recom-

that represents both intelligence and complete and utter

mended. Go get ‘em tiger.

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A PIE STORY Life of Pie The Pie Men

In honour of the upcoming Queen’s Birthday Holiday

be drunk. If this was pie-tinder we would definitely swipe

we went full colonial and pitched a battle of the British

left unless we were really horny hungry.

favourites. The humble Kiwi Steak and Cheese vs the

Mince and Cheese Pie. Taste: A low 6/10. Generic meat

overtly British colonial favourite Butter Chicken Pie. In the

flavour, it’s as if we bit into a disinterested cow. The cheese

interest of neutrality we decided to hold this clash of the

is also nothing special. It felt as if an angry demon had tried

titans in a neutral Cambodian venue The Sunshine Bakery

to fuck the roof of my mouth.

& Cafe – 65 Cameron Road.

Price: An affordable $3.20. Comparable to weekly rental

Bakery Review. Cleanliness: On a scale of Princess Diana

prices in Ngaruawahia.

to Mother Theresa this bakery falls closer to the latter

Photogenic: 5/10, like Kim Kardashian without Photoshop.

because the slums of Cameron Road are actually compa-

Crust: Flaky yet delicate like a schizophrenic ballerina.

rable to the slums of Calcutta. Surprisingly this was the

Meat: Unsure if this was beef or horse meat.

less filthy of the two options because let’s face it, Princess

Overwhelming gravy flavour rouses suspicion. Satisfying

Diana was essentially the Kim Kardashian of the 90’s. (The

nevertheless.

sex tape has to come out eventually.)

Would I eat it if I wasn’t stoned: No – but we would get

Other Observations: An All Blacks flag hangs proudly

stoned just so we could eat it.

behind the counter despite the fact the owners are clearly

The Verdict: Butter Chicken comes out on top, don’t tell

Cambodian. A weak, yet appreciated nonetheless, attempt

Winston Peters. Result pending match fixing allegations.

at patriotism.

The Big Pie Interview. Quintessential Kiwi bloke and long

Butter Chicken Pie. Taste: 7/10. A subtle hint of coconut

standing local MP David Bennett talked to us about his

milk was an elegant yet surprising touch, however, much

pastry preferences.

like our sex lives this pie could use more spice and less

What is your favourite pie? Apple, wait, simple mince –

people critiquing it.

(undoubtedly to better reflect the views of his electorate.

Price: A bit of a push at $3.60. You can get prostitutes in

This was a new record for Mr Bennett who usually takes

Vietnam for that kind of money!

at least two votes before changing his mind.) Any brand?

Photogenic: 6/10 – Like a first year in Bar 101 this pie looked

Big Ben mince pies. Less meat and more pastry. How do

better before we turned the lights on.

you eat them? Straight from the wrapper. Controversy:

Crust: Flakier than that friend we all have who has a crazy

Just when we thought this bloke couldn’t get any more

girlfriend and cancels Saturday night plans every time.

Kiwi he dropped an unexpected bomb. He doesn’t eat his

Meat: Chicken? We’re not so sure. Nothing about this pie

pies with Watties tomato sauce. If you too were outraged

screams “this is chicken” other than the name of the pie.

by our local MP’s casual disregard for Watties tomato sauce

Would I eat it if I wasn’t stoned: Yes – but we would have to

please feel free to contact him on (07) 834 3407.

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Blind Dat�

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/ SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

THE LADY'S EXPERIENCE

THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE

Every week I turn though the pages of the Nexus and

I approached the bar wondering what I was get-

read the blind date experiences. I could never imagine

ting myself into…”I’m here for the blind date”. The

myself doing this but my flatmate convinced me to

barman pointed over to the table, “you’re with the

apply. I turn up a few minutes before my date, and

lovely blonde over there”. It was like Christmas had

was thankful to have been set up with a tall, extremely

come early! So I made my way over, eyed her up

good looking man. We chatted about our interests and

and liked what I saw (really liked what I saw) and sat

found we’re both teachers. His sense of humour was

myself down.

certainly a big turn on, I questioned if his penis would

Ignoring the awkward conversation starters pre-

be the same size as his confidence. There was only

sented in front of us, we introduced ourselves and

one way to find out, we went back to mine. It was

jumped straight into conversation. A couple of pseud-

a great night and he is such a gentleman. To all you

onym names to break the ice was a good start (I didn’t

single ladies out there, Bar 101 isn’t your only option

actually believe her name was Shaniqua). Furthermore,

for a man. A big thanks to The Bank, The Edge and The

she is a training teacher, I am a teacher, so we shared

Nexus for the night. Haha Cheers Guys

a common interest immediately. We continued our chat, it was forever ongoing, and she mesmerised me with her way with words. We drank, we ate and laughed the night away as if we had known each other for a while. At the end of the night, I wasn’t really surprised she wanted to come home with me. I had worked my magic charm and it was about to pay dividends. We will leave the rest to the imagination. Great night out, look forward to meeting her again.

PHOTOGRAPH: LOUISE HUTT

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THE LAST HOORAH STUDENTS' UNION PRESIDENT AARON LETCHER

— Brace yourself, exams are coming. I apologize for what I can only

hold it against you. Studying for exams turns even the most reliable and

describe as an overused and no longer even mildly funny Game of Thrones

stable of piss hounds into shells of their former selves, excuse-laden flakes

reference but I really needed to hammer home the fact that, much like the

faking injuries, illnesses, crazy girlfriends and perhaps even pregnancies

once popular soon to be irrelevant HBO series, your social life is soon to

to avoid drinking.

be over. Just as the show’s writers came to regret killing off so many char-

In anticipation of your looming exams I encourage all students of this

acters during the notorious piss up known as “The Red Wedding”, you will

fine institution to plan one last hoorah before too many of us fail 50% of

soon come to regret killing off so many of your brain cells at Bar 101 when

our papers and Steven Joyce denies us re-entry into University, banishing

you can’t even remember your own ID number, let alone the answers to

us to the place where dreams go to die – WINTEC. What’s that I hear?

the questions in front of you.

Some smug bastard exclaiming that he doesn’t have any exams and all

It is no mistake that the “Party” edition of Nexus falls the week before

of his papers are internal? Ignore him. Come graduation and the job hunt

the “Study” edition. Soon there will be no time for drinking, and you’ll find

that follows the tables are going to be turned, just saying. You all deserve

yourself having to say ‘yeah, nah’ a little more often than you would have

a big weekend before settling into stress-triggered hibernation so let’s dust

liked. This is no joke, and like Guy Williams it is in no way funny. It’s a sad

off the funnel, fill her right up with Waikato Draught, drop a knee for one

day when students begin to hit the books more often than they hit the

last time and don’t you dare spill any because floor sucks will be strictly

piss, but it comes around twice a year, every year since the dawn of time.

enforced and we all know Studville don’t mop often.

This is the circle of University life and it cannot be avoided. I don’t even

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SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND 90-DAY TRIAL PERIODS; CAN MY BOSS STILL FIRE ME? MELISA MARTIN FROM YWRC

— Mel is the new Educator at the Young Workers Resource Centre. Her first week delivering workshops to teenagers was a pants-filling experience, but she has come through the other side freshly showered and empowered. During one of my first solo workshops this week, a teacher asked me about sexual harassment during a 90-day trial period. Her question was: If someone raised a sexual PHOTOGRAPH: BROOK JAMES

harassment complaint about their boss during the 90-day trial, and the employer was made aware of this complaint, could the employee still lose their job under the conditions of the trial period? The short answer is, yes. Unfortunately, if your boss becomes aware that you have made sexual harassment claims, they are within their rights to dismiss you without notice under the terms of your trial period agreement. There are a couple of important things to understand in regards to a trial arrangement though.

CASHLESS AMBER CARDALE

—

Firstly, the trial period must be written into your employment agreement before you start working. Your boss can’t just say to you two weeks into the job, “Oh, well this is your trial period so better keep your nose clean”, it doesn’t work like that.

Thinking about getting some work over the semester break, some work experience or just in general looking for part-time work for some extra cash? Here is an awesome, brilliant and wonderful three-step plan to make this happen for you. 1. Get your CV, covering letter and profile up to date. We have this awesome office located

The 90-days have to be contractually agreed to by

on campus called the Careers Office- they help students with CV writing, how to write a

both yourself and your employer prior to stepping

covering letter, some pointers on interviews and even update students on job available.

foot in the door for your first day of work.

Chuck them an email on careers@waikato.ac.nz

This doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t follow up sexual harassment claims once your boss has given you the old heave-ho. If your employer admits that he or she was sexually harassing you, then of course that works to your advantage,

2. Put your name down for some volunteer work. There is nothing more rewarding and fun then volunteering your spare time to help others. Whether this is at the SPCA or at the local kindergarten down the road you can acquire some valuable skills that will help you stand out from the rest when it comes to applying for jobs. Check out sites like sjs. co.nz or volunteerwaikato.org.nz for available positions.

however that’s fairly unlikely. You can’t claim a personal grievance for having been dismissed, but you can still make a sexual harassment case and use the fact of your dismissal as evidence against your former employer. It can be a daunting process, but there are

3. Type your name into a Google and Google images search; do you like what you see? It is not uncommon to be “online stalked” prior to an employer bringing you in for an interview. If your profile picture is of you drunk, falling over, boobs hanging out, drinking wine out of the bottle then it may be time for a profile spring clean. If our advocates can’t answer your question then they’ll know someone that can.

options.

Contact: 0800 AT YWRC, ywrc@xtra.co.nz.

Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz

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NOTICES

The MP3 Experiment

The Drop ROXANA.KELSEN.DAVIES@GMAIL.COM

SILENTCELEBRATIONS@GMAIL.COM THE DROP presents a 500 Ping-Pong ball drop in celebration of the University of Waikato’s 50th The MP3 Experiment, will celebrate the stu-

Anniversary, with 50 prizes to give away.

dent experience at the University of Waikato by encouraging students to take part in a unique, flash-mob styled anniversary party. Participants will download and follow the instructions on

THE DROP will be held on Wednesday 28th May at 1:30pm in the Faculty of Education gymnasium. This event will be free to the public to attend.

an original MP3 file. This will lead them across

The event is not only aimed to celebrate the

campus while they perform various activities that

University of Waikato but also to bring aware-

promote the 50th year celebrations. The details

ness to milestones throughout the last 50 years

for our event are; The MP3 Experiment Wednesday 21 May, 2014 The University of Waikato, Hamilton Campus

at Waikato. The University has always been involved in the wider community to contribute to the learning and atmosphere to the students and showing that the Waikato region is a supporting community from 1964-2014. “The event will be one to remember”, says DROP enthusiast Matt

Paint the Town Red

Hill, ticking all the features of being a student;

PROMOEVENTS239@GMAIL.COM

Bake Sale

Our event is a ‘Paint the Town Red’ party. We

such as unmotivated to do a lot, enjoys prizes and willing to get free bees.

WEDNESDAY 28TH MAY

plan to run a party with the objective to get at

E N T E R F O R F R E E AT:

least 200 students wearing the colour red in order to celebrate this cornerstone event in our University’s history. By dressing in theme, we

facebook.com/sussedlife

Wednesday 28th May at the Village Green. 10am - 2pm. Fundraising for the Himalayan Trust.

hope to encourage students to embrace their university pride. This idea to use the colours of Waikato University will help us to achieve our goal of painting the town red and promoting the 50th anniversary. We plan to use Bar 101’s venue on the 15 or 22 of May 2014.

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Send any notices to editor@nexusmag.co.nz

COMPETITION RUNS: 12th - 26th May VOTING: 28th May, 12-1:30PM

WIN PRIZES

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CHOC CHIP COOKIES Cooking for Students Zac Lyon

Student flats; providing us colder temperatures than outside, since ages ago. If you’re in that unfortunate boat where actually sleeping outside with no blankets may be warmer than sleeping inside under every blanket in the house plus two hot water bottles, then this winter is going to be fun! To make things more bearable, I resort to cooking and baking, occasionally leaving the oven door open to warm up the house. The recipe this week has pulled me out of some hypothermic slumbers in the past and also is great for inviting yourself around to your friend’s warmer houses, with a plate full of cookies.

Ingredients 2 1/4 cups flour 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup butter (225g) 1/2 cup caster sugar 1 cup brown sugar 1 tsp salt 2 tsp vanilla 2 large eggs 2 cups chocolate chips (or fruit, white chocolate etc.)

Directions 01_ Add softened butter and sugars into a bowl and

cream together. Add in eggs and vanilla and beat

with mixer until well combined.

02_ Sift in flour, salt and baking soda and mix with a spoon. 03_ Refrain from eating the dough, and fold in the

chocolate chips and/or fruit.

04_ Refrigerate dough for 30 mins, then spoon out small

balls of dough, roughly 2 cm across.

05_ Lay out balls of dough on baking paper on a tray and

slightly press balls flat.

06_ Bake at 170C for 10 mins (or a wee bit less for

chewy centres). Cookie should be golden on the

edges, and slightly undercooked for a crisp and

chewy cookie.

Enjoy the crap outta your cookies, it’s quite easy to finish all of them in one sitting. Have some restraint guys, you never know when you’re going to need a cookie-pick-me-up. Head over to Cooking4Students facebook page or youtube channel to more recipes.

nexus magazine

Codewords

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.

KenKen

Sequence

The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target number” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5, your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)

What shape comes next?

Syllabic

1. Heat generating force: 2. Traveling show:

From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.

3. Relatives: D 4. Solidity:

an - ap - ble - car - ces - den - der - driv - er

5. Golf club:

- fric - gar - hu - im - ist - kin - mor - na - ni or - pa - pos - preg - ra - ri - si - te - ten - tion - try - tus - ty - val

6. Comedian: E

7. Invincible: 8. School for young children: 9. Rear:

10. Equipment: Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,

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HARD

MEDUIM

column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.

EASY

Sudoku

nexus magazine

Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.

9 letter words alienable 7 letter words balneal 6 letter words alible bailee baleen beanie enable labial labile liable lineal 5 letter words abele alien aline anele anile banal binal blain ileal label labia lanai liana 4 letter words able alae alba alee anal anil bael bail bale ball bane bani bean ilea lain lane leal lean nail

Crossword

Solve the clues and fill in the words. Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.

Across

37. Sailor’s dance (8)

69. 4th letter of the Greek

10. Spooky (5)

47. One and a half dozen (8)

1. Visual communication (5)

38. Moguls (8)

alphabet (5)

11. Bicycle for two (6)

51. Part of the leg (4)

4. Show for kids, mainly (9)

41. Sense organ (3)

70. Rebukes (7)

14. A short duration (5)

53. Low wall (7)

8. Exuberant (9)

42. Not difficult (4)

71. Train (7)

16. Try (7)

55. Monstrous (9)

12. Fair (9)

43. Enduring (7)

72. Asked (9)

19. Anteater (8)

56. Intensifies (9)

13. A person’s brother or

44. Mature (4)

73. Worthy of imitation (9)

24. Theatrical performer (8)

58. Courage (7)

sister (7)

45. In the past (3)

74. Cognition (9)

25. Dessicated (4)

59. Brazilian dance (5)

15. Humiliation (7)

48. Height (8)

75. Display tripod (5)

26. Come to terms (9)

61. Disgraceful event (7)

17. Wall painting (5)

49. Dwelling (8)

27. Absolutely essential (9)

62. Unchanging (6)

18. Pandemonium (5)

50. Panache (5)

Down

28. Wealthy (8)

63. Stick (6)

20. Acute (7)

52. A small piece of

1. Flash of light (7)

29. Philanthropic (10)

65. Big (5)

21. Topic (5)

anything (7)

2. Equipment (9)

30. Large African antelope

66. Italian dish (5)

22. Charge per unit (4)

54. Loss of memory (7)

3. Harbinger (6)

(10)

67. Large case (5)

23. A drink before a meal

55. Article of clothing (7)

4. Head teacher (9)

32. Impulsive (9)

68. Fishing basket (5)

(8)

57. Unbelievable (10)

5. Nothing (3)

33. Flair (4)

72. Pole (3)

25. Mixture (10)

59. Anatomical structure (8)

6. Fertile part of a desert

36. Fluctuation (9)

30. Pensive (7)

60. Performs (4)

(5)

37. Dithered (9)

31. Building (7)

64. Bulbous plant (5)

7. Decree (5)

39. Pirate’s hoard (8)

34. Epidermis (7)

66. Apparition (7)

8. Locomotives (7)

40. Imagine (8)

35. Even (5)

68. Small boat (5)

9. Relative (5)

46. Notion (4)

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SOUP KITCHEN 9 - 10AM EVERY WEEKDAY AT LEVEL ZERO.

DONATIONS OF CANNED FOOD WELCOME. 44

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