Nexus 2017 Issue 11 by Nexus Magazine

Nexus Picks: a Labour Candidate — Page 11 Broscience: Why Calves are the Hardest Place to Add Mass — Page 12 Bring the flat together with a custom Monopoly board — Page 27

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01 04 05 12 14 15 17 18 21 24

26 29 31 38 40 41

Editorial

Student Experience

Uni News

FOMO

News

Sports

Entertainment

Reviews

Random Audit

Feature

Centrefold: Eliza Webster

Full Exposure: Major Leagues

Columns

Snapped

Blind Date

Puzzles

CO-EDITORS

CONTRIBUTORS

Bronwyn Laundry

Eliza Webster

Lyam Buchanan

Alexander Nebesky

editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Nicola Smith Cameron McRobie

DESIGN

Tom Collopy

Vincent Owen

Conor Maxwell

design@nexusmag.co.nz

Ben Hansen Patricia Harrison

DEPUTY EDITOR

Major Leagues

Jennie-Louise Kendrick

Valerie Bianchi

jen@nexusmag.co.nz

Tom Featonby

MANAGING EDITOR

Peter Dornauf

James Raffan

Troy Anderson

Jacqui Swney

james@nexusmag.co.nz

Emily Reid Sarah Hyde

DESIGN INTERNS Liam Coffey Rowan Porter

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Editorial — Pānui Ētita

The Grass isn’t Getting any Greener While we recognise we as editors have no grounds to preach about environmentalism in a 48 page magazine printed on the corpse of a tree, we can reflect on student culture and its tendency to worship the landfill. Most students, we’re lazy. Putting the rubbish out on Sunday night is the biggest (sometimes) hungover struggle of all, and this sticky, smelly task is made even worse if your flat had ‘quiet drinks’ the night before that turned into an impromptu 14 day bender which ultimately resulted in two people dropping out and left you in the absence of a stomach lining. Often, landlords don’t provide more than one recycling bin for flats, and if they do, the flat quickly falls prey to bin thieves. So what do you if you fill up your one bin and you still have leftover bottles? You have a few options. 1. You wander around the neighbourhood, distributing your bottles into the less full recycling bins of your neighbours. 2. You drive to the ‘dump’ in Frankton (refuse something or other centre) and sort your remaining recycling like a functioning adult. 3. You drive to the Halls of Residence at an ungodly hour

and utilise the skip bin and free recycling. 4. You shove it all in a black rubbish bag, put it on your curb, pretend like you didn’t just commit a heinous crime against the planet, get back on the couch and go back to living a life of blissful ignorance. Option 4 is the easiest, we’ve both been guilty of it, and walking down Greensboro on a Sunday night/Monday morning, you can blatantly see it’s the road most travelled. Permanent bottle bins in student areas would help lower the environmental crime rate, but it’s really not about making things easier for us. It’s about us realising that what we do now, while we’re students, not only shapes our habits and attitudes for the rest of our lives, it has a direct impact on the world we’re going to live in. So we challenge you to stop that lazy bullshit and try a wee bit harder, actually giving a fuck not only lowers your guilty conscience, it’s scientifically proven to increase your number of Tinder matches tenfold and provide a small glimpse into life where your parents don’t have to pretend to love you. Sometimes doing your bit for the environment can be as simple as forgoing straws in your drinks so they don’t end up in a turtle’s nose. ♦

- Lyam & Bron 01

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Uni News — Pitopito Korero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

News from the University Calling all filmmakers! UniLife is a national film festival which aims to showcase the vast and varied stories of universities and their students. Whether you are studying film making, law, science, teaching, health or psychology, we encourage you to dig deep and tell the stories that matter to you. To be in to win the $500 prize, check out the submission criteria on their website creativa. com.au/uni-life-film-festival. Double your protein with Pita Pit Waikato Uni UniRec members can double their protein for any Pita or Salad or add a free protein shot to any Smoothie for FREE with Pita Pit Waikato Uni. Just show your UniRec membership to redeem. Terms and conditions apply. Meet the Mayor It’s your chance to meet Hamilton’s Mayor at the Hamilton Gardens on 30 May between 10am-3pm. The Mayor will welcome international students to Hamilton followed by an opportunity to have a picture taken with him, enjoy afternoon tea, meet other international students and receive a goody bag. The university will arrange transport for students to and from the gardens. If you’re interested, email alonzom@waikato.ac.nz

Learn to sew and love the earth Sew Love is coming to the Village Green, Hamilton Campus 23-29 May. Get help mending your clothes and learn about sustainability through reuse. There will be a special talk on 24 May at the Waikato Student Union Building in Guru Phabians (SUB G.20) 1pm-2pm. Know a deserving Scientist? Nominations for the 11th annual Hamilton Science Excellence Awards – the KuDos Awards – are now open. The KuDos awards celebrate science and innovation within the region. For more information or to make a nomination, visit the KuDos website at thekudos.org.nz. Nominations close 1 July. Keen to get involved? Did you know there is an Eco Emporium on campus? They’re currently looking for students to volunteer in a variety of roles, advertised in MyCareer. Join EPP by visiting waikato.ac.nz/go/epp to get involved in volunteering and improve your CV.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

News — Pitopito Korero

Draft Pay Equity Bill Widens Gap? Bronwyn Laundry Disclaimer: The following news story discusses the gender pay gap. If you have the word ‘feminazi’ in your vernacular or are of the belief gender pay issues don’t exist, please read at your own risk. The draft Employment (Pay Equity and Equal Pay) Bill, which was previously heralded for being a commitment to close the gender pay gap, has now been labelled “a backward step” in pay equity by a number of organisations. The Public Service Association said the draft Bill did a disservice to the issue of pay equity and was in contrary, a “significant backward step” from the Equal Pay Act of 1972. PSA National Secretary, Erin Polaczuk, said that the draft Bill left much to be desired. “This legislation significantly weakens the existing position,” she said. “Under these proposals, the Equal Pay Act is repealed, and in its place there’s an unnecessarily complex process which makes it more difficult for employees to raise a claim.” Polaczuk continued. The Women’s Studies Association also released statements outlining concerning details of the draft Bill compared to the current Act. “The current Act allows for comparisons to be made between female and male dominated work on the skills, effort, responsibilities, service, and working conditions involved – this is the basis 05

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of establishing pay equity. The Bill requires comparisons to be made within the same workforce and sector first, providing for multiple delays, and obvious significant increases in cost,” “The Bill also largely rules out any provision for backpay, would transition current claims to the new processes, and provides very low penalties for employers who do not engage. All of these factors create additional barriers to those people working in the lowest paid areas of our community,” the WSA continued. These sentiments were echoed by Pay Equity Coalition spokesperson, Angela McLeod, who called on the Government to “drop its amendments which will make it more difficult for women to pursue equal pay and pay equity,” she said, “The current legislation, the Equal Pay Act 1972 seeks to ‘eliminate and prevent discrimination, on the basis of gender, in the remuneration and other terms and conditions of employment’ and if changes aren’t made to the proposed new Bill, this will not be achieved.” In a press release on the matter, CEVEP - the Coalition for Equal Pay Equal Value, called for the Bill to be withdrawn stating, “The Bill makes achieving pay equity much harder after one much trumpeted success. It should be totally rewritten or scrapped – the current Act will suffice, supplemented by the principles earlier agreed by all parties.” ♦

News — Pitopito Korero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Pre-Budget Breakdown Alexander Nebesky Prime Minister Bill English delivered his prebudget speech earlier this month in preparation for the National Government’s 2017 budget which drops on May 25. Unsurprisingly, the Prime Minister is pretty chuffed with the way the country is heading at the moment and was understandably quick to focus on what he sees as positive growth and effective market handling by the National Party. “We are supporting businesses and investment that will deliver more jobs and higher wages for New Zealand families.” touted English, and among

other things he was quick to remind reporters that the National Government’s achievements included “Tourism… at record levels and the construction sector… booming, with over 30,000 new houses being built a year, compared with just 13,000 six years ago.” The thanks ought to be directed, according to the PM, not just in the direction of the “hard work and enterprise of people like you and those who work for you” but also offered up to “the Government’s consistent programme of economic reform.” The budget will be released on May 25. ♦

No Money, Mo’ Problems: Survey Renews Calls for Urgent Student Support Increase

Survey Says Of the students surveyed... 31% reported that they regularly go without food or other necessities because they cannot afford them. 55% have not had enough income to meet their living costs at some stage in the last 12 months. 68% of Maori students did not have enough income to meet their living costs at some stage in the last 12 months. Less than 40% of an average Auckland student’s rent is covered by StudyLink.

→→

Bronwyn Laundry The Unitec Institute of Technology recently ran a survey that reiterated what students and the NZUSA have been saying for fucking years; we need more support. The survey found that a third of students have seriously considered dropping out of uni due to monetary strains placed on them due to a lack of financial assistance from StudyLink and the Government. For Maori students, nearly half considered dropping out. NZUSA National President, Jonathan Gee said, “Tertiary study should be a way out of poverty, not a way into it. What the Unitec survey results show is that the cost of study is a huge disincentive for many to continue with tertiary education.” Leading up to the announcement of the

2017 budget, the survey has delivered a clear message to Finance Minister Steven Joyce and Tertiary Education, Skills and Employment Minister Paul Goldsmith. “Too many students are struggling to afford even the basic necessities of life. We strongly urge Minister Joyce and Minister Goldsmith to increase the $218 Student Allowance (including Accommodation Benefit),” Gee said. Gee added, “Minister Goldsmith has previously said that he expects students should make their own financial contribution on top of support from the Government. When over half of full-time students at Unitec are working more than 15 hours a week, we think that the balance has been well-exceeded with paid work affecting student academic success.” ♦ 06

NEXUS MAGAZINE

News — Pitopito Korero

Suicide Prevention Plan “Deeply Flawed” Jennie-Louise Kendrick Mike King has stepped down effective immediately from his post on the New Zealand Suicide Prevention External Advisory Panel, following the realisation that the Government’s draft plan is “deeply flawed”. He is adamant that he will not stop working in the field of suicide prevention. “I haven’t quit doing what I’m doing - I’m just not going to waste any more time on a failed plan that has failed for the last 10 years and will not have my name associated with this current plan which is more of the same.” Mr King has served on the panel since 2015, and has been a vocal advocate against Health Minister Jonathan Coleman’s handling of mental health care and initiatives. Coleman refused to comment on why key measures, like the target of a 20% reduction in suicides by 2027, had been removed from the plan. He has previously called advocacy groups, like ActionStation “Left-wing, anti-government protesters”. Labour Deputy Leader Jacinda Ardern said King’s resignation is a “major red flag” for the Government, and Greens Spokesperson for Health, Julie Anne Genter, has called for an urgent full inquiry “to get to the bottom of how future interventions can be the most effective.” “For him to step away from this shows the utter frustration over the lack of forthcoming action on suicide and a Government missing in action on mental health.” King has been critical of the quality of mental 07

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health services in New Zealand, as previously reported by Nexus. These concerns are echoed by families affected by mental health and suicide closer to home. Jane Stevens, whose son Nicky passed away under the care of the staff at Waikato’s Henry Bennett Centre, has become “increasingly distressed” and “angry about the denials and bullshit we are being fed by Health Minister Jonathan Coleman”. Stevens is adamant that her son did not receive the correct care that he should have whilst admitted to the Henry Bennett Centre, including allegedly not being provided the medication he was legally required to take, and not being provided with a safe area to smoke, causing him to have to go down into a river gully to smoke. In March 2015, he disappeared from an unsupervised 15-minute smoke break, despite being on compulsory care with the Hamilton DHB. This was the same spot that Nicky was found three days later. Dave MacPherson, Nicky’s father, who became an elected member of the Waikato District Health Board in 2016, is adamant that the system in New Zealand is broken. “Despite suicides being at record levels, every call made for a full-scale enquiry into the country’s mental health services is rebuffed by the Government with a statement that always includes reference to a $300M mental health budget increase made over the last few years as though that makes everything right.” ♦

→→ It is estimated that roughly 3% of New Zealanders will contemplate suicide this year (Stuff.co.nz). →→ A total of 579 New Zealanders committed suicide last year (Ministry of Justice), although mental health advocates believe the real statistic could be double this figure. →→ A suicide can only be ruled as such and counted in statistics if there is strong evidence to show the death was intentional as classified by a coroner on completion of the coroner’s inquiry (NZ Coroner’s 2016 Report) - therefore death by drownings, autocide, cliff falls, and drug overdoses may be ruled instead as accidents.

News — Pitopito Korero

Alrighty, let’s just get straight into it. What made you want to run for VP?

I love working hard and the idea of doing something worthwhile at uni seems rewarding for me, the uni present/future and it gives me street cred

How wholesome so what are you aiming to achieve as VP? What’s ya plan?

Oh Nexus, where to begin coming into this position later in the year I just want to help align our existing strategy! Basically, get our funding in check for upcoming projects, continue our plan for a new student precinct and create better engagement with open communication between our board’s work and students on campus

Upcoming projects? Are you suggesting a date? Or are there a couple of WSU events we can be looking forward to?

Wait are you interviewing me? Or just striking conversation? If you’re interested to know what are we doing and what events are coming up make sure you sign up to our new Campus Vibe website with your Student ID! Login to wsu.org.nz and see what different clubs events are coming up on campus and keep track of our WSU projects too

Can we be expecting a Nexus and WSU collaboration anytime soon?

If you’re talking about my potential new column Notes from Nic? Then yes, or else no comment

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Swiping Right for Nicola Smith An anonymous member of the Nexus creative team recently matched with new WSU VicePresident, Nicola Smith. Our correspondent has assured us this was purely for the purpose of investigative journalism and in no way an attempt to Nexus and Chill.

Vox Pops Recently NZUSA stated that students at Unitec are struggling to feed themselves each week, we went out to see if this is also an issue with our students: 1. How much do you spend on food weekly? 2. Have you ever had to cut down on what you eat for financial reasons? 3. What is the luxury food item you can’t live without? Ashleigh 1. I live at home so I’m maybe spending $20 if I go out during the week or else it’s just the price of coffee. 2. Luckily not. 3. Coffee, I have at least two a day. Dan 1. Around $80 a week. 2. Here and there, as a student you’ve just got to temper yourself. 3. Turkish delight chocolate. Zane 1. Fuck, too much, at least $5 day. 2. Nah, I just raxx food from my parents. 3. KFC wicked wings. Hannah 1. $30. 2. Nope, living at home is great. 3. I wish I had a better answer but it’s just Starbucks. Mike 1. $100 at least, maybe close to $130. 2. Nah I always find a way. 3. KFC, gotta have it at least twice a week. ♦ 08

News — Pitopito Korero

TL;LR Too Long; Lyam Read “Looks like we’re all fucked for exams now.” — Spain, Ecuador authorities net 5.5 metric tonnes of cocaine in Pacific. “No 1: Creating an Instagram with a healthy blend of normcore themes that incorporates a progressive sequenced curation of textures and tones is tiring. Not to mention the synthesis of pedestrian tableaux with the abstract visual concepts a private ‘Gram requires.” — 6 reasons your teen’s life is more stressful than your own. “Don’t worry bro I’m sure she’s just asking for a friend.” — Adult crushes: Is it healthy to have fantasies about another man?

“I’d give it three days before it leaves him for someone worthwhile.” — Once a recluse, Japanese student makes robot to ease loneliness, “It’s as if my mother were really at home.” “Maybe if you lasted longer than 40 seconds she wouldn’t be fucking her ex.” — Dear Mrs Salisbury: My partner had a higher sex drive with previous partners, but not with me. “Research shows that studying law is the equivalent of having an accidental child.” — ‘Some nights I want to drive away and never come back’ – Parents who regret having children open up in brutally honest confessions.

News in Numbers 8

$70,000

$650,000

$159

years is the projected timeframe before petrol cars become obsolete.

is now considered an affordable house price for the new 34,000 properties being developed in Auckland. is widely considered to be the healthy number of emotional meltdowns to have over the next five weeks.

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worth of ACC has been claimed as a result of avocado sustained injuries.

for an Ed Sheeran ticket is definitely worth not eating for a week.

or more eggs in one sitting isn’t overly fabulous for cholesterol levels.

EIGHT BALL

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TOP 10

As the light touches me I am awoken from my infinite slumber. Left discarded and alone beneath the university tunnels I was destined to live out my days the plaything of rats and masturbating first year chem students. Now I have returned, ready to bestow my vengeance upon you all, reign down justice and answer your yes or no questions to help you through your university days. I am the Eight Ball. Look upon my works ye mighty and tremble.

Christ College and Oxford student Lavinia Woodward was recently given a deferred sentence for stabbing her boyfriend with a bread and butter knife, before throwing a laptop and a jam jar at him. The reason for the decision was that Miss Woodward is an exceptionally gifted (and already published) surgeon. That got us thinking about the crimes we would let slide for the exceptionally talented among us. Here are our Top Ten:

Will she ever take me back? Outlook not so good. Why would a girl like that waste her time on a child like you? Simply passing her in Momento left you pathetically crippled with regret. I’ve never been rejected by a lover but I can assure you if such a travesty was to happen that worthless creation would be promptly banished from your despicable plane of existence. I recommend becoming detached from the inner workings of your mind, refusing to express how you truly feel about a situation is the healthiest method to surpass a breakup.

10. Apparently, Oscar Pistorius. Because six years for murder is a joke.

Should I stop smoking weed? Reply hazy try again. So you’ve acquired a dependance? This could signify that it’s time to move on, during my period as mere mortal I took this as the opportunity to dedicate my being to the beauty of competitive vaping. That transcendence has left me with the ability to tread between dimensions beyond your comprehension. Heed my warning, if you’re to follow my path it will result in a reality of immeasurable suffering, similar to an eternity of reading of Buzzfeed.

6. Caitlyn Jenner and her vehicular manslaughter. After a decade on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, you have served your time.

Will mum ever love dad again? My sources say no. As you progress through the trials and tribulations of self realisation it will become apparent that your aunt is slightly too fond of your father. It is at this point that the eerie similarities between you and your cousins will become apparent. I suggest entering a national talent show. Your sob story alone would carry you through to the semi finals before your lack of interpersonal skills viciously ejects you from the competition. Is my flatmate in love with me? It is decidedly so. You’ve entered their life at a lucky point. Desperation has resulted in an unheard of lull in their otherwise insatiable standards. You need to capitalise. There will never be another point in your life where someone of this calibre even acknowledges you. I’d normally prefer to watch the innocence of love drain from naive eyes but you’ve had a rough run. Confidence is key, just don’t fucking talk too much. Why me? As I see it yes. What is it with you existential kids? I’ve experienced all that life has to offer and can confirm there is no grandiose ideal you could ever comprehend. Smoking in Greensboro Park at three in the morning isn’t bringing you any closer to the enlightenment I’ve obtained. All you’re achieving is to be thought even less of by your peers. Being referred to as the Holden Caulfield of your generation isn’t a compliment, you’re just pretentious. ♦

9. After Michael, there will never be another King of Pop. And based on the court settlements to the families, there really shouldn’t be. 8. Bill Cosby... Just kidding, die in a fire. 7. Max Key. In death, we would forgive you for everything. But only in death.

5. We’re not saying Julia Roberts is responsible for the disappearance of Flight 370. But if she is, we are just a magazine standing in front of a girl ready to forgive her. 4. Planning to kill your wife? Make sure you have a successful football career, and may well have illegitimately fathered a Kardashian, like OJ. 3. We aren’t sure why Michael Galvin is still playing Chris Warner on Shortland Street after 20 years, but obviously someone has a photo of him standing over a body with a knife. 2. Death by automated drone is a horrible and inhumane way to die (particularly at a wedding) but we can’t stay mad at you, Obama. 1. Avril Lavigne. We could forgive you for your creative spelling of boi or sk8er, we might even forgive your for that weird Hello Kitty racist shit; but marrying Chad Kruegger from Nickelback has damned your soul to hell… no more damn cold nights for you Lavigne. ♦

NEXUS MAGAZINE

News — Pitopito Korero

NEXUS PICKS A LABOUR CANDIDATE

It’s now been two weeks since the everpresent Sue Moroney announced that she would ride off into the sunset, prior to the election. As yet we have heard nothing from Labour as to who would replace her. So, we decided to dust off a classic. In the past, Nexus has picked a Bachelorette, a Dean of FASS, a Mayor and a Pope (and while Francis is cool, we stand by our choice of Samuel L. Jackson). So, it is only fair we go through some pros and cons for the Labour candidate choice to fill Sue’s custom made shoes. Here are our first four candidates:

John Lawrenson

Tommy from Breckons Ave

Sure, at first glance Hamilton’s most pronounced capitalist seems an odd choice for the Labour Party. But that is where the genius is.

What Labour needs is someone who knows a lot of people, and can turn out new voters. What Labour needs is our dealer. That guy knows everyone.

Pros →→ Compulsive desire to win that Labour sorely needs. →→ Not only would he beat Tim McIndoe; McIndoe, like countless rivals before him would never be seen or heard from again (RIP Bahama Hutt). →→ The man can clearly stay on message. His O-week lineup has been the same for years, why change a winning formula? Cons →→ He wouldn’t do it. →→ There would be a door charge to cross the river. →→ You think Sue left because of a low list place... any lower than third, and John will burn the whole party down.

Pros →→ The half price two ticks for tin special. →→ Already equipped to help both sides of the isle deal with Peter Dunne. Cons →→ Successive Governments on both sides have screwed over students, screwed over the poor, and disestablished the middle class. Given this, we aren’t sure we want our west side dealer mixing with these evil bastards.

David Bennett Because who wouldn’t want to see Lex Luthor vs. The Cardboard cut out of T-Mac?

Lou Moroney Sue’s “cousin”, who is totally not Sue wearing a funny hat. Pros →→ 15 years of experience in parliament. →→ Strong advocate for paid parental leave. →→ May be open to a new challenge, after leaving her last role under a cloud. Cons →→ Has never won a seat before. →→ Won’t be ranked on the list, may be a sticking point. 11

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Pros →→ Our understanding of politics is that if Bennett holds both East and West Hamilton simultaneously, he gets to build hotels. Cons →→ There are minorities in Hamilton West.

Sports — Hākinakina

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Broscience: Why Calves are the Hardest Place to Add Mass Cameron McRobie Here’s a bitta sugar for all you gym rats/bunnies out there, behold the swoly bible of gym hacks, facts and intellect. This is Broscience. Anyone who pumps iron on a regular basis will have one (or more, if you’re unlucky) muscle group which will absolutely not get as swole as they’d like. For the majority, this lack in potential gainz limits itself to purely the lower leg region – calves are the hardest place to add mass, brah. When planning your weekly gym routine, it’s wise not to treat your legs like I have my past girlfriends and ignore them. Though it’s common to have at least one dedicated leg day a week to keep one from looking too top heavy, to keep your calves at the redline of impending gains you should be looking at hitting them with a different exercise every workout. Calves are able to recover quicker than other muscle groups because they’re used daily in walking and are used to the larger workload – so need to be targeted more often. Ideally, a minimum of three days a week should be spent in the gym, but it can be pretty hard to stick to a consistent gym routine when you don’t believe in weekdays – only strong days. As the farthest major muscles away from the heart, it takes more time and pressure to get blood to and from the calves. To compensate, the legs have larger blood vessels – about 65% of the blood supply goes to your legs – but the calves still receive poorer circulation. This can be accounted for in your routine by upping the number of reps you’d do in a typical calf raise sesh warm-up. Increased number of reps will mean there is more blood flow through the active muscles at the end of the set (commonly known as muscle ‘pump’), this ensures you’re

sufficiently warm to hit those heavy weight, low rep, muscle building sets. Sadly for you all putting in your reps for Jesus and avoiding cardio like the plague, simply having a killer leg routine may not be adequate to make the calf gains you desire. Genetics have a strong role in calf size. They influence your muscle mass, nerve distribution and the type of muscle that is bestowed upon you at birth – slow twitch or fast twitch. Gait plays a large role in calf size, as calves are typically poorly coordinated muscles, they can be neglected simply by walking mainly using upper leg muscles. The Gastrocnemius (the big, curved muscle that can make or break having sweet calves) appears larger because it is 51%(ish) fast-twitch muscle fibres. Fast twitch fibres are ideal for fast and powerful movement – such as sprinting or lifting heavy weight, this means that people with genetically more fast twitch fibre muscle will have their work cut out for them (probably regardless of whether they gym) and be blessed with sweet calves. The soleus, which is about 80% slow-twitch muscle fibres, is the long and often overlooked muscle that runs under the old Gastroc. Slow twitch fibres characteristically will not tire as quickly as fast twitch – however do not appear as big, this means that if you are (debatably) unfortunate enough to be living with the slow twitch fibre genes – you’re better suited to running long distance, but probably will never have calves big enough to be considered fully grown cows. There’s no one set way to sweet, sexy calves – just do your research and pray you have the right genetic make-up. Alternately, as a wise Brofessor once told me – just choose your parents. ♦ 12

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Sports — Hākinakina

The Captain Tom Collopy On May the 14th the New York Yankees retired Derek Jeter’s number 2 jersey in honour of his contributions to the organisation over his 20 year career. He joins Yankee legends such as Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Joe Dimaggio who wore the number 3, 4 and 5 jerseys for the Yankees respectively. Following this honour I thought it would only be right to look back on Derek’s illustrious career. Jeter batted .524 in his three years at Kalamazoo Central High School and received many accolades following his senior year including three player of the year awards from the American Baseball Coaches Association, Gatorade and USA Today. Following his efforts he was offered a scholarship to attend the University of Michigan, but the Pros were calling and he was selected 6th Overall by the New York Yankees on the advice of scout Dick Groch. After being drafted he decided to sign with the Yankees and forgo his scholarship to the University of Michigan. Derek played four years in the minor leagues from 1992 to 1995 in which he posted better numbers every year and moved up on Baseball America’s prospect ranking list. In 1995 Jeter got his opportunity in the Major League following an injury to shortstop Tony Hernandez. On May 31st 1995 he got his first major league hit and went on to accumulate 12 in the 15 games he played that season batting .250. After Hernandez disappointed in 1995 Jeter got the opportunity to secure the Yankees shortstop job in 1996. He hit a homerun on opening day against the Cleveland Indians and the rest is history, he received the American League Rookie of the Year award batting .314 with 104 runs on 183 hits. The Yankees went on to win the World Series against the Atlanta Braves. Jeter was selected as an All Star in 1998, this would be the first of 14 selections during his career. The Yankees went on to win the World Series against the Padres that year which was the second of Jeter’s career. This would be the start of an unbelievable run for the Yankee organisation. They went on to repeat the feat in the following two seasons beating the Atlanta Braves in 1999 and the 13

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New York Mets in 2000 in which Jeter received the World Series MVP after batting .403. They almost made it four consecutive but lost in seven games to the Anaheim Angels in 2001. Jeter remained consistent batting over .300 in seven of the following nine seasons, he also earned four golden gloves in that time which is awarded to the player adjudged to have performed the best in each position in each of the MLB’s leagues. The Yankees lost to the Florida Marlins in the 2003 World Series under new captain Jeter and then failed to make another World Series appearance until 2009. In that year on September 11th Jeter recorded the 2722nd hit of his career breaking Lou Gehrig’s Yankee record of 2721 hits which had stood for 72 years. The Yankees went on to beat the Philadelphia Phillies in the 2009 World Series to give Jeter a hand full of rings. This would be his last trip to the World Series. Fast forwarding to July 9th 2011 at the new Yankee Stadium where Jeter stepped up to the plate sitting on 2998 hits. Jeter was determined to surpass the 3000 mark before the All Star break which was two games away so this game was very important. It was the bottom of the 1st and Jeter hit a ground ball to left field for his 2999th hit. Then came his second at bat in the bottom of the 3rd on a 3-2 pitch, Jeter who was not a renowned home run hitter, hit a breaking ball for a home run to become the 28th man in Major League history to record 3000 hits and only the second to do it via a homerun. Jeter went on to go 5 for 5 that game and drove in the game winning run in the bottom of the 8th. Jeter went on to say “If someone had written this script, I wouldn’t have believed it myself” “I would’ve toned it down a bit”. Jeter would go on to play three more seasons for the Yankees, retiring at the end of the 2014 season. He finished with 3465 hits and a career batting average of .310. He won five World Series, five Golden Gloves, five Silver Sluggers, 14 All-star selections and one day he will become a Hall of Famer. Above all else Jeter was known as a true professional and a fantastic ambassador of the game. Congratulations Mr Jeter. ♦

Entertainment — Whakangahau

NEXUS MAGAZINE

ENTERTAINMENT C RU S H E S O F T H E WEEK

HOTTE ST TO NOTTE ST

We simply couldn’t pick one! So this week, we’ve got double-trouble in the form of Hot Brits:

→→ SOLANGE KNOWLES →→ BRAS FROM KMART →→ BEING WHOLESOME SO YOU GET GRATEFUL REACTS ONLY →→ mOcKinG SpOngEbOB meMe

Adwoa Aboah Physically, Adwoa is striking; shaved hair, caramel skin, tall, smatterings of freckles, and vacant eyes. But it’s when she opens her mouth that has us falling in love. The British-Ghanaian supermodel has given multiple interviews where she documents her life-long struggle with substance abuse, mental health, privilege, and race; her voice like gooey, verbal honey. She started Gurls Talk, an advocacy group and platform for young women to talk about issues in their lives. You’re able to send in a message for advice on the website, and see great articles written by other young females, some of whom have gone through (and come out of) some relevant shit.

Lennon Gallagher His dad is to blame for giving acoustic guitar-wielding white guys a song to bust out at parties, despite not being asked. Lennon’s eyebrows are better than that of Cara Delevingne, and to see someone who gives as little a fuck as his famous Pops in an industry as conceited as fashion is, frankly, pretty rewarding. Baby Oasis recently graced the cover of Buffalo Zine in a Blur t-shirt - like every mopey teen, he’s reminding his parents they’re not as cool as they think. He is quickly making his way up the ranks of the fashion world with a name that is basically a nod to the greatest British musicians. But anyway, here’s Wonderwall....

→→ ALBERT CAMUS →→ ALMOST FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS BUT NOT ACTUALLY FALLING →→ WRITING YOUR PHD DISSERTATION ON AVRIL LAVIGNE’S CLONE →→ SLOWLY FALLING VICTIM TO THE CRUSHING ZEITGEIST OF SOCIAL CONFORMITY, AND TRAPPING YOURSELF BEHIND THE SMOKESCREENS OF IRRELEVANT ISSUES LIKE SPAGHETTI ON PIZZA WHEN THERE’S ACTUALLY SHIT OUT THERE THAT NEEDS TO BE TALKED ABOUT BUT WE ARE ALL TOO FACETIOUS TO GIVE A FUCK… →→ … TOO HEAVY? HOW ABOUT SOGGY SOCKS? 14

Reviews — Arotakenga

Film Arotakenga Kiriata ‘Alien: Covenant’ (2017) - Ridley Scott Review: Alexander Nebesky

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Video Game Arotakenga Tākoro Ataata Lisa (2014) - Dingaling Productions Review: Conor Maxwell

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REVIEWS

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The Alien franchise, spawned from a cinematic masterpiece, has been run through the wringer over the years. It is unfortunately composed of more trash (Alien vs Predator, Alien vs Predator 2: Requiem, Alien 4: Whatever the Fuck It’s Called) than its original, frightening works of art; so there was considerable justification for one to feel apprehensive about Covenant, especially after disappointing reception given Prometheus (2012). Intended to provide something of a narrative link between Prometheus and the Alien stories, Covenant is exciting and thrilling, and hits every beat one would desire from a film in the franchise. There is plenty of body horror, bloody dismemberments, and Michael Fassbender kisses Michael Fassbender right on the mouth. Performances are decent all round, Fassbender shines, and (continuing the Lawrence of Arabia references) it was personally very gratifying for me to hear him sing ‘The Man Who Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo’ in an echoing cave a la Peter O’Toole in the echoing mountains of Arabia. Katherine Waterston provides the strong female presence for which the Alien films are known, Danny McBride delivers a strong performance, and James Franco does a masterful job of lying in a chamber and then burning to death in the first four minutes of the film, arguably the best use of the actor in his career to date. While Covenant is exciting, it does have its fair share of issues. The Alien alien is scary in the shadows, but much less so in direct sunlight, so its reveal cut a measure of tension from the film. The main issue, from an overall standpoint, is that the film falls into the same category as Rogue One (2016) - it’s exciting, but it doesn’t add or develop any new themes or subjects, it, like Rogue One, exists only to explain a plot point that was just as easily, and possibly better left unsaid. ♦

Don’t get too excited; this isn’t that spinoff of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room that you’ve been waiting for. Lisa is a roleplaying game set in the land of Olathe, following the apocalyptic event known as the ‘White Flash’, which caused the death of every human female in the world… except for one. This last girl (nicknamed ‘Buddy’) has been kidnapped by a warlord, and as Brad Armstrong, her adopted father, you must find and rescue her before she can come into any harm. It’s like Children of Men, if Clive Owen was a fat, balding, middle-aged karate coach with a drug problem. Despite the incredibly bleak premise, Lisa contains a lot of comedy; providing, through its large roster of colourful characters and companions, several hilarious insights into what men might get up to in their spare time if women no longer existed. But it’s not all pro-wrestling and secret, underground gyms- traversing the desolate world of Olathe leaves you with that insatiable, empty feeling that this is it for humanity. One girl can’t undo the damage caused by the end of the world. Lisa is a challenging, quirky game which poses difficult moral choices and scenarios, and is a rewarding experience for anyone interested in studying (or playing) dystopian texts.♦

Reviews — Arotakenga

Food Arotakenga Kame The Kirk Café Review: Patricia Harrison

NEXUS MAGAZINE

As a true 3216 local, I was shocked when I heard there was a cafe, this side of the river, that I had not been to. The Kirk Café peeks out of the Link, a community center on the corner of River road and Te Aroha street. The overall décor is plain but clean. Light coloured walls with honey furniture in a room soaked in exterior light that leads to a crisp lawn. Everything about this place came across as very vanilla, everything except for its overwhelming menu. I selected the Salmon Gravlax on Potato Gratin [gf] at the price of $22, and my friends the Kim-Chee Omelette [Vegetarian] and Matcha Green Tea Waffles [Vegan/gf]. The dishes took some time to come out but when they did they were vibrant, with so many components, I felt as if I had opened an I Spy book from my childhood. Coffee sits high on my scale from Momento to SL28 but surprisingly I didn’t come away from the meal feeling that I had tasted the best meal of my life as the visual stimulus had lead me to anticipate. I believe the Kirk holds a talented team which can be seen in their absolute love for their food, and avidly loyal patrons, but personally I couldn’t fall in love with it. I plan to go back and give their Crème Brulee French toast a whirl, but more for the ‘gram than somewhere I can recharge and type away at my uni work. If you’re heading there on the weekend expect to wait some time and keep in mind there is no bathroom within the café. ♦

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Album Arotakenga Pakaemi Luys i Luso (2015) - Tigran Hamsyan Review: Ben Hansen

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Released on the centennial of the Armenian Genocide, Luys i Luso is the sad song of an ancient people. Enlisting the support of the Yerevan State Chamber Choir, pianist Tigran Hamasyan draws upon a canon of sacred music spanning fifteen centuries and presents a unique musical expression of Armenian piety. The profound beauty of this recording shines through in its most subdued and reverent passages, as in the penitential hymn ‘Ankanim araji Qo’ (‘I Kneel Before You’). Here the pianist’s improvisations are restrained and delicate – as if he knows he is playing on holy ground. The choir often stands in silence while a soloist offers a song of worship. In other tracks, Hamasyan’s deft piano playing and the choir’s performance are both superb and deeply moving in their own right – but their union isn’t always pleasant. It’s hard to know who is accompanying who; both the choir and the pianist receive equal attention, but almost end up suffocating each other in fundamental stylistic disagreements. Jangling piano and shouting voices make the album’s climaxes difficult to sit through. Fortunately, these moments are limited to the longer tracks. If you persevere, the closing track is a worthy reward: ‘Orhnyal e Astvats’ (‘Blessed is God!’) begins with a 1912 recording of a Eucharistic hymn, and flawlessly transforms into Hamasyan’s serene interpretation of the same song. Luys i Luso is one of those albums for which your enjoyment depends on how closely you listen. As background music it can sound scrambled and irritating; but if you focus on it, you will find aural pleasures aplenty. However, focusing on music like this is hard – and harder still when the album runs for a testing 76 minutes. The pious and patient will find great pleasure here, but the rest of us should just skip through the tracks until we find a pretty one. ♦

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Random Audit â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Kauwhau

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Feature — Kupu Whakaatu

NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEXUS SAVES THE WORLD To put it frankly, we’re killing our planet. You may argue you’re not that bad, you only drive to uni from Knighton rd when it’s raining! But to quote the only relevant thing from the Bible, if you’re not with us, you’re against us, so if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem. Join us as Nexus attempts to give a crash course in modern environmentalism.

The Cost of Fast Fashion We all enjoy a bit of mindless scrolling through the sales section on ASOS, and as students, who can really blame us for trying to look the most bangin’ for our buck? StudyLink barely covers rent, let alone ethical clothing handspun on a loom by a well paid Tibetan monk. It seems the system is out to get us, just like the moral struggle of standing in the supermarket, trying to decide whether or not to buy a dozen caged eggs for $4 or six SPCA approved free rangers for $7.50. So we turn to online and instore fast fashion retailers like Boohoo, Mirrou, Hallensteins and Kmart. But these deals come at a high cost to our environment. The fashion industry consumes huge quantities of natural resources, as well as causing water pollution and creating significant carbon emissions during manufacture. On top of this, clothes are shipped around the world to fill our insatiable demand for stuff. Due to these factors, many sources have estimated that fashion is the world’s second biggest polluter to oil.

In the past, the fashion industry presented four seasons, now retailers press for 50 seasons, trend upon trend being thrown at us everywhere we go, leaving us with a warped idea of style and a desperate need to spend more money keeping on top of trends that we’ll probably look back on and laugh at. Reusing and upcycling are excellent ways to address these issues. Buying second hand clothes reduces the demand for new items and can reduce the likelihood of textiles going to landfill. Learning to mend, repair and refashion also stems the need for new items while developing a person’s skills. And remember what your mama (and that kinda famous dude Yves Saint Laurent) said, fashions fade, style is eternal... Top Five Sustainable NZ Skincare Brands 1. Rosehip by Essano 2. Goodness Natural Beauty Lab 3. Skin by Ecostore 4. Trilogy Natural Skincare 5. Antipodes

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Feature — Kupu Whakaatu

INTERVIEW:

Sarah Lancaster, of Sew Love, is an op shop superhero tackling environmental issues with flair. Since 2016, she has been travelling around Aotearoa in a campervan, leaving a trail of mended jumpers, hemmed trousers, recycled fabric bum bags and reuse inspiration in her wake. Solar panels sit on top of the mobile home/workshop to power sewing sessions. It is very romantic, but what pushed Sarah to take to a life on the road wasn’t all whimsy, writes Valerie Bianchi. What inspired you to take to a life on the road? Well, gentrification of K Road in Auckland did! I had my Sewing Lounge on K Road with all the resources for people to learn to sew, repair or take a workshop. When the area was being redeveloped I had to think creatively of what would come next. I had seen online all the amazing roaming vintage boutiques and fashion trucks in the states and nobody was doing that here yet, so I thought hey it’s summer, everyone wants to be at the beach, I want to be at the beach, so let’s take work to the beach! What do you think is our most pressing environmental issue? Tackling fast fashion is a big one, we wear clothes every single day, and the fashion industry is the world’s 2nd biggest polluter (2nd to oil!), so every day we have the choice to vote with our dollar and dress consciously. It’s a long game, one I’m willing to persevere through alongside the awesome #whomadeyourclothes Fashion Revolution campaign... but if only we all knew a few stitchin’ techniques we could nip tuck any op shop find to fit us right, and THEN sew a reusable bag so we can say no thanks to plastic bags! What do you recommend people at uni start with to get sustainable through sewing? I would start by getting a mending kit together, essentially needles and threads. And learn how to re-sew on a button. Rips are a common repair and really easy to fix so come and learn how to do this with me, by hand or on a machine. Sewing your own reusable tote bag is super easy for beginner sewists, and a huge step to reducing the use of plastic bags. If you can sew straight lines you could sew an extra layer of fabric to the back of your flats’ curtains, to help reduce your power bill too!

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Feature — Kupu Whakaatu

NEXUS MAGAZINE

FIVE WAYS ELON MUSK IS DRAGGING OUR ASSES TO A CLEANER GREENER FUTURE WHETHER WE WANT HIM TO OR NOT:

When he isn’t giving interviews, romancing supermodels and actresses, or fathering a multitude of children; inventor, philanthropist and social crusader Elon Musk is probably flying around in a suit made of metal saving the other Avengers. Like Nexus, Elon Musk wants to save the planet! The difference between him and us is we talk about saving the planet in a magazine that kills trees, so that you have unsolvable sudokus and Snapchats of testicles, whereas he probably will save the world. In case you’re not familiar with his work, here are five things that Elon Musk is doing today to save the world. 5. The Hyper Loop The story goes that Musk was watching the Monorail episode of the Simpsons late one night, and couldn’t get the idea out of his head. So, he wrote hundreds of pages on theoretical hyperloop tube transport before giving it to the Internet for free. Musk stated that he was pretty sure it worked but he didn’t have time because he was colonizing space (more on that soon). There are at least three hyperloop projects now using Musk’s design.

4. Building his own school

3. Power walls and Tesla roofs

With five kids of his own, Musk decided the workers of Tesla and SpaceX should have their own school. At present the school only has 16 students but they are confident attendance will rise when he builds them a medical school.

This is the easiest to explain, and likely the one with the biggest impact. Musk looked at our current solar strategy and said instead of putting panels on the roof, why not make the roof out of solar panels and then store the energy.

Honorable mention “Fucking Paypal.” That’s right, way back in university, Musk and his two friends revolutionised the way we used the internet. Almost overnight, it transformed from people playing games to people dying of obesity and heart failure, having not left their house in decades.

2. The electric car revolution Toyota pioneered the Prius in 1998 and it fucking sucked. Aside from celebrities and the odd liberal, no one would be seen dead driving one. Then, Tesla was born and electric cars became cool. Musk became the Henry Ford of the post-industrial world almost overnight, and his could be the first car company to take on the big three in America.

1. Backup planet The Nuclear option for environmentalists, and anyone else scared of North Korea or Trump’s revolution. Musk announced his intention to take over Mars! The key was creating a rocket that could be reused, which sounds simpler than it is. They’ve almost got a handle on it. Once that happens, it’s off to the brave new world that Aldous Huxley could only dream of.

ART BY ELIZA WEBSTER INSTAGRAM: _ELIZAWEBSTER WEBSITE: ELIZAWEBSTER.PORTFOLIOBOX.NET

Full Exposure — Mārakerake

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This week we had a chat to Brisbane crew Major Leagues who are putting their own surfy spin on the shoegaze genre. They have a repertoire full of throwback tunes to make you feel like you’re in your own coming of age film. How would you define your sound? Hmm, I’m not very good at this. I think lots of our stuff is pretty 90s sounding. Some is pretty slacker, some a little shoe-gazey, and some a bit dream pop-y?

all the other bands at Festival of the Sun. I was so wasted I was trying to pat the carp in the fishpond in the foyer. Also, hanging out with Beach Fossils after our show with them was pretty amazing. I was starstruck.

Where do you draw inspiration from? The people around me, current and previous relationships. I draw on a lot of kind of nostalgic memories, which I’ll kind of twist into a story that works for the song.

Favourite venues? The Foundry is probably my favourite venue in Brisbane. We recently had a show in Sydney at Golden Age Cinema, which is this really beautiful old theatre. The stage was tiny, but it was a really lovely spot. Favourite Melbourne venue is definitely the Tote. It is so filthy, but I love it.

What’s your writing process when creating music? Jaimee and I are the main songwriters in the band. We’ll usually both write separately and then bring the songs to the band so the others can write their parts. With this album it’s been a bit more collaborative though. Jaimee and I wrote some of the songs together from the very beginning by just sending ideas and voice memos to each other and building from there. Favourite place to source your threads from? Hmm probably UNIF and second hand stores. I’ve kind of been trying not to buy as many clothes lately though because I saw a doco about how much clothing just goes to landfill after people wear it once and it made me feel really guilty. So, I guess secondhand stuff is a bit more ethical than shopping online. Best post-gig experience? Tough one. Probably getting to stay at a really fancy hotel with

Any chance you’ll popping in to Hamilton sometime soon? I wish. Would love to get over there at some point. What are ya’ll working on at the moment? Well our album is ready to go (comes out June 16). So we are kind of just working out how to play the songs on the album live at the moment. It can be tricky getting the same sounds, especially because we had a few guests play synth and stuff on the album itself. I don’t think we have to sound exactly the same live, just have to make sure we make it sound full in other ways, like with guitar loops and stuff. Who are three artists you’d love to collaborate with? I’m gonna assume that they have to be alive currently otherwise it’s too difficult. I’m gonna go with Kim Deal, Jon Brion & Beck ♦ 24

Student Experience — Wheako Tauira

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Puppet Master Politics David Seymour After the softball love fest of a green graduate and a good beer I decided it was time Lyam saw how the other half lived. Specifically the libertarians who aren’t crazy about students but took a more holistic “You won’t always be students” approach. What’s wrong with not caring for politics? Why should I vote? I’ve never seen someone dance around a question so awkwardly. After a collection of seemingly abstract statements I was truly enlightened -“If you don’t vote you can’t complain”. Thank you David. Before this moment my favourite hobby was rolling down to the cafe to complain about someone else’s coffee. Thankfully, the enlightenment didn’t end here. After striking this goldmine I was then subjected to a series of equations which resulted in a bunch of estimate answers for figures he should’ve already known. What I gathered was that out of the 7000 18-24 year olds in his electorate only 60% actually vote. Can you really blame the other 40% when the only incentive is that they can’t complain if they don’t vote? It’s marginally easier to not give a shit than to actually care. What is Act doing for students? Ol’ mate Daveo believes interest should be put on student loans, and that the student allowance should be abolished in favour for larger amounts to be drawn from living costs. Funnily enough, I’d say I don’t think he’s the biggest fan of students. However, he’s not actually campaigning for any of this because he realises no Government would ever make these changes. This led us to the revelation that “Students aren’t students forever”. Act doesn’t care for any changes to tertiary education, instead they’re keen to ensure students are better off once they’ve graduated and decide they want to buy a house. Surprisingly, this also coincided with a whole lot more maths. I definitely didn’t expect a politician to try sway my vote by saying that given the opportunity they would make my already massive loan even more daunting. I guess the idea that they want to make owning a house more achievable is kinda neat but I’m not one for thinking that far ahead.

Thoughts on the ciggie tax? “The cigarette tax is the stupidest thing New Zealand has ever done. It makes poverty worse in the poorest of households.” I’m just glad after everything we can both agree on something. Today Lyam Learnt: →→ Sometimes math doesn’t make you seem smarter; just unable to connect with the youth. →→ At least Seymour had the courage of his convictions to not even attempt to pander to Lyam to win his vote. →→ That Lyam has his price like any man, but to our surprise that price is more than the promise of cheap, imported, non-taxed cigarettes. The Last Word I came to a groundbreaking realisation as I walked out of that interview. If I was to take my initial views of the Act party and multiply by the percentage of Good George I consumed, then divided this by the speed at which I left the room I could safely say I wouldn’t be voting Act. ♦ 26

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Student Experience — Wheako Tauira

FOMO

Have an event you want featured? Flick an email to editor@nexusmag.co.nz with details of the event and we’ll get in touch.

Important Dates for the End of Semester: →→ There is only two weeks of class left →→ Engineering Boat Day is on the 2nd of June →→ Study week begins on the 5th of June, don’t forget to get your WSU Study Week pack from Level Zero →→ Exams begin on the 12th of June →→ Exams finish on the 23rd of June →→ It’s potentially useful to jump online and check when your exams are, just google ‘Waikato exam timetable’ and save yourself the stress →→ The final Nexus for the semester is on stands on the 29th of May →→ Teaching recess kicks off on the 26th of June →→ B semester rolls around on the 10th of July →→ You’ll also be able to pick up a fresh new Nexus on the 10th of July →→ There’s a full moon on the 9th of July →→ Only 22 weeks until the end of B semester

Gig - Rubita/DateMonthYear/Mouse 27th May, Nivara Lounge, 8pm, $10 on the door Three local artists for $10, why the fuck not. Headlining this gig is Rubita, taking influence from musicians such as Amy Winehouse, Frank Sinatra and Jason Mraz they’ve created their own take on ‘lounge flavoured jazz’. This may sound pretentious and off putting but their genre more or less translates to simply ‘wearing their hearts on their sleeves’. On the topic of pretentious this gig also features DateMonthYear. Each to their own but when a musical group refers to themselves as a ‘musical experience’ and explicitly ‘not a band’ I immediately lose interest. This being said though they’re not all that bad, not my cup of tea but at least Rubita easily compensates. Finally, there is also Mouse, if you’re into that solo female, singer-songwriter scene you’ll be all about this, other than that there isn’t much to say.

Play - Trojan Barbie 31 May - 3 June “If you like your live theatre thought-provoking, heart-wrenching, and cathartic, then Christine Evans’ Trojan Barbie… is for you.” – Huffington Post. As the fall of Troy ripples through time, Christine Evans contorts past with present in Trojan Barbie. Alongside a backdrop of modern warfare we follow Lotte, on holiday in modern Turkey, as she crosses paths with Trojan women (Hecuba, Andromache) in a US military war encampment. Ancient myth melds with modern warfare. Cassandra and Polly X encounter modern soldiers. Helen of Troy is the “War Bitch”. Tickets are a cheeky $10 for students, go on and get amongst.

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Columns — Maramara Kōrero

Eco Emporium Environmental A-C-T-I-O-N! Valerie Bianchi I have a North American accent (which makes sense because I grew up in the US) and am, what some might describe as “peppy” at times. As a result, some of the people I first met when I arrived to New Zealand began to form a picture of me that included pom poms and football letter jackets. When they asked about my days as a high school cheerleader, I had to laugh. I guess I don’t seem like the art-student-smoking-in-the-parking-lot type. What most people learn about American high school from TV and movies isn’t true, as myself and other art students weren’t being shoved in lockers by jocks. We were both art students and jocks simultaneously. I guess that is why I am really good at trapeze and appreciate the aesthetic value of sequined leotards. Ohhhhh maybe now I get why people thought… Regardless, I will be your environmental action cheerleader! Ready? Set! Go! High kick plastic out of your life To get more information about plastic we will be hosting a free discussion and movie night Tuesday 23 May at 6.30pm in S.G.01. This will include a talk by Merren Tait, who went one year with no plastic, followed by a screening of the documentary A Plastic Ocean and a Q&A with a panel of waste experts. Environmental topics can be heavy, so the intention of the night is to give information, but also inspire and empower people to take action toward a solution. We don’t expect people to go totally plastic free, either. You can walk away with knowledge or action, or both. Here are some tips to

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get you started: Use reusable bags over plastic. We will have recycled fabric bags sewn by Eco Emporium volunteers for sale at the movie night. Use a reusable stainless steel, glass or ceramic takeaway mug over disposable coffee cups, or use the cup without a plastic lid. Stainless steel mugs are available for sale at the Eco Emporium and Kahurangi Cafe for the low price of $7, and you will get $.50 your coffee at Kahurangi Café when you use it. Use a stainless steel or glass water bottle over a plastic one. People often think they are doing something environmental by refilling a plastic water bottle. However, this is not good for your health as the plastic degrades into the water. Hurdle into reuse and upcycling The Eco Emporium aims to help you reuse what already exists by providing a space on campus (located behind the WSU building in the Cowshed) for second hand goods. This reduces new items being made unnecessarily and stems filling landfills. We have recently bought a sewing machine, which is available to use for your repair and upcycling projects. To promote reuse and repair principles, the Eco Emporium is overjoyed to be hosting Sew Love on campus (see page 29) 23 May26 May on the Village Green. Sarah from Sew Love will also be giving a talk/workshop 24 May from 1-2 in Guru at the WSU building. Contact me at vbianchi@waikato.ac.nz with questions! ♦

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

WUG Life Waikato United Gaming Society Tom Featonby Unless you have literally been living under a rock you have probably heard of virtual reality (VR). Essentially you have a screen (or screens) strapped really close to your face along with a bunch of other hardware and you get transported somewhere else. For me personally the gaming applications of this tech are the most exciting, for others it will be virtually travelling the world while in your arm chair, or learning how to operate without cadavers. Until now, attempts at a decent VR experience have been, well, a bit rubbish to be honest. It wasn’t their fault. I’m sure everyone worked hard but the tech just wasn’t ready, the world wasn’t ready! Now that we have big, beautiful, high resolution screens in our pockets in the forms of phones and tablets, it’s time for VR to utilise that technology and have another crack. The two main players in the VR space right now are Oculus (acquired by Facebook for a measly $2 billion) with the Rift and HTC with the Vive. The Rift and Vive are essentially the same product with a few tweaks. The Rift is primarily targeting sitting down experiences, so driving/flying sims, travel etc. The Vive is different and, in my opinion, much better as it gets you up out of your seat and flinging your arms around like you’re completely mental. It lends itself much more to embarrassing Facebook posts. Out of the two main players I have played around with a DK2 (development kit 2) of the Oculus Rift for hours and hours and have spent much less time with the consumer version of the HTC Vive. The DK2 gives a really good indication of what VR can be. Dirt Rally really shines on the Oculus Rift DK2. Sitting in the car and looking over to your co-driver with their race-notes in their hands is weird and awesome. Being in the car, being able to turn your head to look out the windows and check out the interiors of the cars is mindblowing. The feeling of speed and danger is incredible, it’s like no other gaming experience I’ve ever had. The HTC Vive is different. Unfortunately, I haven’t tried a consumer version of the Rift so I can’t do a proper apples to apples comparison. What I can tell you though is that the Vive is next level. I loved the DK2 but got bored of it after a time. The experiences were all very similar and restricted by the limitations of movement, that’s not the case for the Vive. A relatively new friend of mine has a Vive and I jumped at the opportunity to have a go. The first game I was introduced to was a game called Job Simulator. You’re working in a kitchen making food for robots. The Vive has controllers that you grip in each hand (think Wii remotes but way cooler) and BAM your hands are in the game. The controllers have triggers on the back that in this particular game makes you grip things. The craziest thing that happened in my short time in

↓ J O B S I M U L AT O R

the game was that I was grabbing something out of the fridge and I accidentally knocked a bottle off the top shelf. My heart skipped a beat but my cat-like instincts kicked in, I flung out my hand and I caught it before it hit the ground. I didn’t think, I just did and that translated to in-game action. It left me completely speechless. I could go on and on about VR. I love it! I haven’t even talked to you about the other peripherals that are being worked on right now trying to get you running and using your other senses like smell and touch. Alas, it is time for us all to game. If you are interested in VR then jump into the WUGS Discord which can be found on our Facebook page (www.facebook.com/wugamingsociety) and come have a chat. ♦

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

Pass the AUX Playlist_07 Jacqui Swney I know typically I’ll give y’all three songs to wrap your ears around. But sometimes three songs just doesn’t satisfy my need for rambling on about music that people may or may not actually want to hear about. SO this week, I’m going to present you with three Spotify playlists because I care so much. If you don’t have Spotify, please join the rest of us in the 21st century and download it, I haven’t got time for plebeians. Dreamy by Jacqui Swney Is it wrong of me to start off this week with a little shameless self-promo? Probably. But this playlist is for all the indie kids that think Tame Impala is God’s gift to man. This playlist features artists like Beach House, Mac DeMarco, Bombay Bicycle Club, and of course maintains a heavy Tame Impala presence. I understand that not everybody will enjoy the wavy world that this playlist has to offer. But those who can appreciate some psychedelic and dreamy tunes will undoubtedly be able to immerse themselves in the other-worldly vibes this playlist gives. Teenage Dirtbag by Flitr UK This playlist calls out to the emo kid that lives in all of us. This masterpiece features anthems like Green Day’s ‘American Idiot’, ‘All Star’ by Smash Mouth, and my personal favorite, ‘Thnks fr th Mmrs’ by Fall Out Boy. There’s some classics and for this reason I deem it a must-listen on road trips It’s composed of an obscene amount of throwbacks from my pre-teen years, and if you don’t find yourself singing along, then I’m sorry I have failed you. MUST BOOGIE by Makenna Knell This playlist definitely lives up to its name. Prince, Drake, Kendrick Lamar, and my beloved Chance the Rapper come together to create a beautiful blend of hip-hop and R&B. Salt n’ Peppa make a brief appearance, along with old timers Bow Wow and Ciara to provide us with a couple of solid throw back bangers. This playlist reminds me to never underestimate the power of a good 2006 Chris Brown song, and in the great words of Kendrick’s latest masterpiece, DAMN. ♦

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Columns — Maramara Kōrero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Arts Writers in Residence Peter Dornauf Writer in Residence must be a pretty cushy number. You sit yourself down each day in salubrious surroundings and write your own stuff – and get paid for doing it. Nice work if you can get it. And those that do, funnily enough, seem to be the same old faces popping up at regular intervals. Take poet, Kate Camp, who featured recently in a profile in the Waikato Times. She is currently swanning around Merton, in France, channelling Katherine Mansfield. A quick look down Camp’s CV and we note she’s done the resident thing a number of times. Why are some favoured above others? It’s one of the eternal mysteries. Speaking of poets, modern poetry, like modern art, seems to have lost its audience, at least the audience it once had back in the day. Of course back then poetry, art and religion were the only show in town. When religion died on Dover Beach, mid nineteenth century, Matthew Arnold tried to make poetry fill the breach, but it can’t complete with shopping and watching the pornography of The Bachelor on Channel 3. Quick test. When was the last time you read a poem without being forced to because of academic study? Repeat the question in relation to buying a volume of poems. I actually possess several copies of Kate Camp’s verse as well as her essay “On Kissing”, and not because I was compelled to. The modern quality of contemporary art or poetry alienated the masses, but Camp has negotiated her way between the two worlds – “literate yet hip” according to the hoardings. One favourite concerns the question of time. “When I first noticed the time/it was the 1970s” is how the poem begins, tracking the decades, punctuated at various stages by a succession of sick and dead family dogs. Poet, Bob Orr is currently Writer in Residence at Waikato, like Camp was some years earlier. I recall the man from former times as a bit of a hard doer. Maybe it was the kick-arse poem, Revisiting V8 Nostalgia, that I picked that up from, a poem about the lame nature of verse compared to taking a ride in a clapped-out V8, “the smell of fumes up my nose like 1963/perfume to a dry addict…” Orr was born in Hamilton and raised in Morrinsville, so we can

claim him as our own. Bob is best when he is writing about the “music” of his childhood. “My dad drove red herds of cattle/up the Great South Road”, begins a ballad that conjures with memory reaching back sixty odd years. Let’s hope his return home will prompt more of the same. ♦

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

Hectic Troy the Science Boy DNA Troy Anderson DNA phenotyping is mad hectic. I found out about this the other day and it blew my mind. A phenotype is the combination of a living thing’s characteristics. This covers a wide range of things like morphology, physiology, behaviour and products of behaviour (an example of this being rabbit’s digging holes). All of this information can be traced back to the sequencing found in DNA. So, phenotyping is establishing the appearance and traits of an animal or person from their DNA. You may be thinking, okay cool, that’s interesting but ultimately pointless. But that’s where you would be wrong. Forensic scientists have begun using this method to metaphorically punch criminals in the face with science. In the past, DNA has primarily been used for profiling. This is usually in the form of a confirmation, further evidence, more of an afterthought. In DNA profiling, it is used to prove that a suspect was at the scene of a crime or in some cases did have successful intercourse with another human being resulting in human life. Actually… It probably gets used for that all the fucking time. In any case, phenotyping rather than profiling is a means to bring crime solving into the forefront of the upfront, to actively use DNA in an investigation rather than afterward, when you’re pretty much certain that that guy killed that other guy, because he told you he did. There are a few notable ways this has been used in the past, but we’ll focus on the most significant of these. Typically, DNA phenotyping is used to locate what are known as ‘biological witnesses’, someone who has left organic material behind at a crime scene but is otherwise an unknown person. By accessing the phenotype of DNA evidence, forensic scientists can establish the appearance of these biological witnesses with alarming accuracy. This can be used to approximate mug shots of perpetrators of crimes so they can be released to the public, as well as establishing

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the appearance of badly decomposed bodies with unknown identities. This is extremely helpful in cases where the people of interest don’t have DNA information stored in databases, probably most of them. This method was used on a skull found in Glen Burnie, Maryland during 1985. An exceptionally accurate image could be created with the combination of the shape of the skull and the DNA left behind. Another instance when phenotyping has been used successfully was during the Baton Rouge case. It was confirmed that the Baton Rouge killer was, in fact, an African American after the FBI wrongly interrogated hundreds of white dudes off the back of incorrect witness reports, ultimately further solidifying negative racial stereotypes. So, long story short, be extremely careful what evidence you leave behind when committing crimes, or don’t commit crimes, that’s a good option too. Also, DNA stands for deoxyribonucleic acid for those wondering. ♦

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Darts & Crafts Bedside Beer Crate Emily Reid Crate Day and being warm are both distant memories, so it seems appropriate to jazz up the space you’ll probably spend most of the next four months. This beside crate will be perfect to house supplies for a winter spent in bed. Materials: →→ A slightly moldy beer crate found under the house →→ Your neighbours hammer and a few nails →→ Good ol’ wood saw →→ Any paint you’re able to cheaply acquire How to craft: →→ Ensure the majority of mold is removed from the crate. →→ Remove the two “ABC” panels from either side of the beer crate using the fork bit on the hammer (I’ll admit I very nearly lost some fingers so stay safe out there). →→ Using the saw, trim the two pieces of wood so they fit snugly inside the crate to act as a shelf. →→ Nail them into place. →→ Imagine how life would’ve been if you puppy didn’t get run over and release your emotional trauma through the power of the paintbrush. →→ Let it dry before putting it in your room (optional). →→ Place your creation to the side of your bed. →→ Feel accomplished. ♦

SNAPPED Snapped â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Atapaki

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NN WI

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB. If you wish to withdraw a snap from the magazine before publication on Thursday, email us a detailed account of what the snap is and why it needs to be removed.

Blind Date — He aru makau

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Blind—

Brought to you by House on Hood Street. Each week Nexus attempts to make a romantic/sexual connection. If you're keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz He’s an unsung hero of Thursday nights who never needs too much convincing to go out. She told us literally no fun facts about herself in her application so we’re guessing she’s a person? Let’s see if they hit it off... She said: I rummaged through my makeup drawer to find the exact eyeshadow that would say “I’m a nice girl who also loves to party and might be a little bit kinky”. With the look finished and the outfit chosen (casual dressed up) I then contemplated whether or not I should drink the only alcohol left in the house- a 3/4 full bottle of Scrumpy that had been opened a good two weeks ago. Thinking better of this, I decided I wasn’t nervous enough to require pre-drinks, plus the Scrumpy probably would have tasted disgusting by now. I went downstairs for an impromptu pep talk from the flatties. With my confidence semi built up from the gals I was ready to go and slightly nervous by this point. As I pulled up to an almost perfect park, I thought that this might be a good sign of the date to come. Walking in I was met by a nervous lad who could hold a decent convo. I could tell the guy was taller than me so this was a big tick, however as we conversed I felt more of a friend connection. Although the shared crème brulee was quite romantic, he paid for the $3 left on the tab and the night ended as we went back to our separate houses.

He said: I went into the night doing my best not to overthink anything that could go wrong, after being dropped into the deep end I thought, what the hell, let’s see what the fuss is about all these blind dates. I didn’t think I would see myself as someone who can hold a decent conversation for 10 minutes before I throw a horrible pun in and sit in an awkward silence, but the date went well and no shit jokes were thrown into the mix. Our date went about as one could expect, getting to know each other was easier than I thought. As university students, we had one or two stories of our drunken behaviours to share, despite having to hold back a few yarns of my own we shared common ground on a few situations where the alcohol got the better of us. It was great to see that the pressures of our tertiary study didn’t affect her at all, no exams tend to relax the mood. A mutual love for a Long Island ice tea and dreams of moving to Europe allowed conversation to flow freely throughout the night. Our night finished nicely with a shot with dessert and our tab being run dry, and giving credit to the House on Hood St, for the great food and drinks to accompany an interesting Wednesday night. Cheers!

Date.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Puzzles — Panga

Horoscopes Aries: March 21 — April 19 If you’re continuously running late and unable to meet deadlines, then get your act together this week. Not for any astrological reason, just so you don’t keep pissing everyone off. Taurus: April 20 — May 20 Volunteer at a resthome, adopt a stray kitten, or help a toddler cross the road this week. Definitely because it’s good to be kind, not just because it’ll be good for your CV… Gemini: May 21 — June 20 A 101 year old won gold in the World Masters Games, for the 100m sprint no less. Set your sights high and you can achieve anything (even if you’re the only one in your category). Cancer: June 21 — July 22 If you’ve been slacking off at the gym lately, this is the sign you’ve been waiting for to get back into it! Mercury is shining strong, so you’ll have increased energy to get those PBs. Leo: July 21 — August 22 I’ve just been informed that PB does not in fact stand for Peanut Butter when in a sport context. This is thoroughly confusing, because what else would entice you to the gym? Virgo: August 23 — September 22 Venus is circling around into your zone this week, which means true love is on the horizon. Take this chance to hit up the Outback and Bar101, keeping your eyes open... Libra: September 23 — October 22 Give your best friend a call this week, and check in with them. Whether you’re living in the same city or not, it’s always nice to know that someone’s thinking of you.

Wordfind B

THEME: Ingredients for the perfect soup to remedy any cold, flu, fungal infection, depression over grades, or incoming feelings of infatuation. Smother those emotions now, that guy/girl will squeeze every drop of validation out of you like a sponge and hang you out to dry. Chicken

Bay Leaf

Macaroni

Broth

Leek

Tomato

Noodles

Broccoli

Shiitake

Stock

Spinach

Zucchini

Celery

Mushroom

Lemongrass

Carrots

Kale

Orzo

Peas

Cabbage

Lentils

Scorpio: October 23 — November 21 The stars say that it is going to rain again today, and every day this week, and all of next week, and for the next four months because goddamn it’s almost winter again.

Sagittarius: November 22 — December 21 The latest instalment in the Alien movie series came out last week - if you like blood and guts, some paranormal creatures, and time spent in space, then this is the film for you.

Aquarius: January 20 — February 18 Don’t forget about the cup of tea or coffee that you’ve left on your desk to get cold! There’s nothing worse than finding it two hours later and having to scull back some icy earl grey.

Capricorn: December 22 — January 19 This month, it is possible to predict that soon enough Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will be spotted in a steamy reconciliation - Starception, the stars discussing stars.

Pisces: February 19 — March 20 Fun Fact: Rats and horses can’t vomit.

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Puzzles — Panga

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Sudoku 7

2 3 2

8 5

2 4

Easy

1 2

Medium

Difficult

Crossword 1.

9 6

1 5

3 1

5 4

6 9

1 3

I Never Asked For This 2.

6. 7.

10. 11.

12.

13. 14.

15.

16.

17.

21.

18.

22.

19.

20.

23. 24.

25. 26.

Across

affixed to a container or product (5)

6. Current Deputy Prime Minister of NZ (5, 7)

1. Famous dish from Beijing (6, 4)

25. A camera attachment that produces a brief

9. Alone (4)

7. Irish cream (7)

very bright light (5)

10. Needle-shaped (8)

8. Journalism drama by Aaron Sarkin, The __ (8)

26. A type of thistle cultivated as a food (9)

11. Big, big wave (7)

13. Roald Dahl book featuring farmers Boggis,

12. A very steep rock face or cliff (9)

Bunce and Bean (9, 2, 3)

Down

14. Concerned with routine administrative tasks (8)

15. A covert agent in feudal Japan (5)

1. Board used to mix colours (7)

18. A criminal or disreputable person (7)

16. Angular distance from earth’s equator (8)

2. John, Bronagh, Stephie & Max (3)

20. Ultra wide-angle lens that produces strong

17. Previously (7)

3. More polite form of “Damn” (4)

visual distortion (7)

19. Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot (6)

4. The colour of dark wood (5)

21. Fry quickly in a little hot fat (5)

21. Dried stalks of grain (5)

5. Genius behind the puppets of Labyrinth and

22. Teacher of Torah (5)

24. Paper, polymer, cloth, metal, or other material

The Dark Crystal (3, 6)

23. First letter of Greek alphabet (5) 42