N.12 / V.46
r indoo
series
2014
nexus magazine
EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ DESIGN
CONTENTS
HAYLIE GRAY MANAGING EDITOR
—
JAMES RAFFAN
_03
Editorial
_04
Lettuce to the Editor
_05
News
_08
News from the University
_09
Sport
_10
Ridiculist & Vox Pops
_11
Reviews
_14
Honest Matt
_15
Horoscopes & Playlist
_16
Auteur
_17
Arts and Stuff
_18
Travel
ALYSSA WOLK
_19
Awesome Dead People
COVER ART
_20
Studying, Where to Find It
_24
Madness: The Contingency Plan
_28
Ninz’ Top Five Procrastination Tips
CONTRIBUTORS SPORTS GUY GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER SARA LEMME DR RICHARD SWAINSON HP MIKE BILODEAU JULES CRAFT MATT HICKS BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF TEE-SHIP AUNTY SLUT MELODY WILKINSON ZAC LYON MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE RYAN WOOD AARON LETCHER CHRISTIE SHAW THE PIE MEN KARL GUETHERT WAIREHU GRANT NINA FOX INDRA SALIM RENÉE BOYER-WILLISSON MEGAN
LORYN ENGELSMAN LORYNENGELSMAN.COM PHOTOGRAPHY LOUISE HUTT DESIGN INTERNS ELLIE BROOKS
_30 Columns
OLIVIA PARIS ROSE ROGERS
_37
The Bank Blind Date
_38
The President's Column
_39
Advice
ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ OFFICES GROUND FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO
_40 Notices
KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON ONLINE
_41 Recipe
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_42 Puzzles
PHOTOGRAPH: LOUISE HUTT
nexus magazine
EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT
—
I
t’s nearly the end of A semester, which for most of us means
you'd probably be saying, 'I'd better stay with my science and maths'."
exams. If it doesn’t mean exams, it does mean that utter bastard of
But what if you hate science and maths? Joyce seems convinced that
a last assignment that’s worth 40-80% of your grade. Or, if you’re like
the only reason to go to uni is to get a high paying job- but especially at this
me, a much scarier deadline is approaching through the fog.
grim stage of the year I think he’s missed the point entirely.
If you can actually find your course outline at this point then you’re doing
While a well-paid career is definitely a factor in choosing a field of study,
better than most. If you can decipher the question- even better. But usually
it should never be the only reason. By the time we get to graduation the
this end of the year is accompanied by a deep sense of depression that
pathways we chose in year 10 could be obsolete. Surely we should be
leads to many students throwing their hands in the air and wondering why
encouraging students to study the thing they love so that when final
the hell they decided uni was a good idea in the first place. You’ve run out
assignments, exams and extreme poverty come crashing down, they can
of the last of your ‘savings’ that you were living on, the weather’s turned
at least hold onto the fact that even though they may never be stinking
to shit, you can’t afford food and yet somehow you’ve put on two kilos.
rich, they’re not going to spend their lives doing something that they hate.
The round of final assignments, and/or prep for exams just seems mean.
Fuck Joyce’s definition of success. Follow your passion. Be authentic.
And awesome advice like “you need more engagement with your critical
Nothing but passion will get you through the horrors of the next month.
reading, but you also need to let your own opinion come through stronger”
Except maybe copious amounts of alcohol and procrastination.
is enough to send anyone running for the bottle.
Good luck for your exams and assignments. Find your ‘study sweet spot’
But like any somewhat diligent student I didn’t reach for the vodka bottle,
(mine is 5am-9am, ugh.) Utilise it and then make sure you take time out so
I reached for the internet to procrastinate. It was a bad idea. I had a flick
you don’t fry your brain. Grab an exam pack from level zero during study
through the local news and came across a gem of a story outlining poten-
week and get amongst the brain food. And console yourself that soon it
tial salaries for fields of study. Tertiary Education Muppet Steven Joyce
will all be over… until it begins again.
thinks the figures should help people choose a career. He said "If you are
See you next semester!
a young person, perhaps at year 10 and 11, and looking at this sort of data
3
LETTUCE
nexus magazine
Oomst-Oomst BOGAN AT HEART
brings me great pleasure to donate money in your care for Progressing Disability inclusive support for the Women / Widows / Elderly Housing in your communities. I pledged for your commitment to my call for greater attention to be paid to the social, economic, political, cultural and spiritual advancement of women. I will be earnestly looking
I applaud nexus magazine on their weekly ability to provide
forward to hearing from you in due course.
a variety of opinions, ideas, humour, bad horoscopes and advice (despite what the haters may say.)
Keep The Faith, And Remain Blessed.
Yet I feel that nexus is very one sided in my favourite areaMusic. Tino Pai for dedicating an issue to the subject, but
Exams
where was the variety? All well and good to hear about the life of a struggling
RAP TO THE EDITOR PART 9
DJ, but what about the struggling band trying to get their name out there with a weekly pub gig? Fantastic to see a weekly spotify playlist suited to the theme of the mag, but why all the Oomst-Oomst? Why not some classic songs, some tunes we can belt out with passion, some mean riffs, some hectic drumming, some anarchy and stick it to the man, some lyrics that actually have depth and meaning, and some solos that make you weep. (Check out Led ZepDazed and Confused)
Eyelid's twitching, heart beats so f%*king fast your arteries about to tear and need restitching. 3 months of struggle, preparation from every lesson, no time for questioning your ability or even think of second guessin. Failing to succeed doesn't mean you're broken,
Maybe its my internal bogan, but I have noticed Hamilton
you're only burning into cinders so that the phoenix can be
itself really lacks anything close to a muso scene, and this
awoken.
is a deep shame. My soul yearns for more than the overplayed, repetitive, shitty pop music that I am bombarded
Yes You Are
with week by week. Please help. xoxo
ANONYMOUS
Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women SISTER ANNE GLORIA
Why the hell are the people running nexus so damn afraid of adding anything political? We know what you guys say behind the scenes, we're not stupid. The ignorance is really beginning to get on our nerves when someone cannot write a piece about Palestine for fear of pissing off the Israeli society or whatever here on campus?
DISCLAIMER:
THE OCCUPATION EXISTS, ITS A FACT, WHETHER YOU
Letters published contain the opinion of
LIKE IT OR NOT. Let us PROMOTE FREEDOM! Stop being
the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent pub-
My aim is that women live without fear of violence. While reducing violence against women, however, remains one of
We said no to apartheid South African and to Nazi Germany,
the biggest challenges for me. Therefore reducing violence
why the hell are you getting so worked up on us saying no
against women and increasing women’s safety is a long-term
to the Palestinian Occupation?
commitment for us.
lic scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.
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such cowards.
Sort your shit out.
I am Anne Gloria, 86-year-old widow Married to Late Civil Engineer Avarua Cook Hammond, Am formerly a Muslim and later Converted into Christianity after the death of my Husband and my only Son during the war in Tripoli when I
Your New Friend
discovered that I have (Breast Cancer). Being close to my grave as diagnosed recently, it now
PATRICIA BACH
nexus magazine
NEWS Hi, I got your info on web friendship community. I’m 28 yrs, born in New York and raised. I work in media production and also help small market private firm to develop hydroponic gardens in their house and also on their farm for commercial growing. I'm looking for someone who will compliment good friendship during my visit/contract job in your country. someone who i can be familiar with before my arrival, who can assist me with my travel trip and take me around to lovely places during visit. Someone who we can share daily correspondence together, who is not afraid of interactions and does not allow fear to hinder their communication with new friends online. I'll stop here for now. Write me about yourself maybe we can keep the ball rolling.
HAKUNA MATATA – IT MEANS NO MAORI VP FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS RACHAEL ELLIOTT
Dearest Rory Mitchell TEE SHIP
In your attempt to point out my "vitriolic hate for John Key" and defend his daughter with that sickeningly saccharine "can't we all just get along" attitude you sir, seem to have missed the point. Did you actually read the article? Because
— “Oh yes, (Simba) the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it.”
groups and present their views, concerns and goals back to the WSU.
Andrew “Simba” Marama-Lyon has officially resigned
Unfortunately it can be suggested that right from the
as the Waikato Students’ Union Vice-President Maori.
outset of his “I want to book Shapeshifter” campaign in
The question that remains isn’t “Will we miss him?” but
the WSU speeches, the constituency that he appealed to
“Will we notice?” Lyon’s resignation letter ensured he
and ultimately the ones that elected him were not those
vacated the role with the same laissez-faire attitude and
who understood or were affected by the unique chal-
lack of focus that punctuated his entire tenure in the role.
lenges facing Maori students.
Marama-Lyon’s 80 word resignation letter not only
Regardless of Lyon’s effectiveness in the role, the WSU
contained three spelling and grammar errors but the let-
now find themselves at a crossroads that could define
ter was dated effective “Whenever Aaron Wants.”
the future of Maori representation for years to come. In a
your sign off would indicate that you didn't. Firstly "what the fuck did she do?" She offended an entire race of people, I addressed this. Secondly "does the author realise that this is an actual person who could be deeply affected by these comments?" You have a point Rory, and sometimes I forget
“...NON-MAORI ELECTING A MAORI-VP IS AS SMART AS THE INTERNETMANA MERGER.”
Native Americans are just imaginary figures who don't have real feelings and can't be affected by Key's actions. Idiot.
He will be missed.
period where the University is conducting its own study
In the last two years the Students’ Union has seen
into Maori on campus, the WSU could position them-
eight resignations of directors before the completion of
You Stink ANONYMOUS
selves to take a lead role.
their tenure including the last two VP-Maori. The prob-
To do so it would need to face the seemingly self-
lem is compounded when you realise that only one of the
evident truth that non-Maori electing a Maori-VP is as
last four VP-Maori has completed her term.
smart as the Internet-Mana merger. By acknowledging
The question needs to be asked - does the Waikato
that, the WSU can move to make a long overdue consti-
Students’ Union have a problem with Maori representa-
tutional change and allow the VP-Maori role to sit as an
tion? If so, are those problems a composite of the post
ex-officio appointment on the WSU board made by one
VSM student representation environment or perhaps
of the Maori Roopu.
I know it’s winter and all but you still need to wear deodor-
more alarmingly the product of endemic failure in a sys-
In the short term a VP-Maori would need to be sought
ant. Not so much deodorant you perfume the room for the
tem that doesn’t cater for the needs and challenges that
and applied for by following the usual process but this
rest of the day, but enough that I can't taste your week old
are specific to a multicultural environment?
latest resignation could serve as a catalyst for a more
sweat when I breathe. For fuck’s sake shower once a day you filthy pigs!
Got something to say? Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz
Perhaps the biggest indictment of Lyon was that he
meaningful and long term change. There would be a
was ineffective in a system that was designed to allow
certain amount of irony if it were under the leadership
him to do a poor job and get away with it. At a time
of President Letcher, who could not keep a VP-Maori to
when Maori Roopu like Te Ranga Naku and Te Waiora
term, that the future of Maori representation was secured
are beginning to rebuild and re-establish a presence,
and made sustainable for the long term.
Marama-Lyon was given a mandate to liaise with these
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POPE PRAYS AT BARRIER GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY
— Pope Francis has just completed a trip to the Middle East, visiting Jordan, Palestine and Israel. In Palestine he caused a sensation, first by flying in on a Jordanian military helicopter instead of passing through Israel, and then stopping at the West Bank separation barrier. Also called the Apartheid Wall, the barrier cuts through Palestinian territory, blocking it off from Israel- allegedly to prevent terrorist attacks. The Pope called for the unplanned stop, got out of the Popemobile and walked over to the wall to pray, touching it with his forehead. When asked by a reporter to explain the act, he said that will have to wait till his return to Rome. “[His act] has a lot of meaning,” said Belinda Shamma, a Palestinian Catholic. “He is trying to tell the world what is happen-
COUP-ADDICTED THAILAND RELAPSES AGAIN GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY
—
ing to Palestinians is so unfair. We are dying inside.” The Pope also invited Palestinian and Israeli leaders to an impromptu conference for prayer and peace talks in Rome on June 6th. On the next leg of his trip he visited Israel and Jerusalem, condemning the recent Jewish museum killings in Belgium and laying a wreath at the national Holocaust memorial.
The Thai army recently launched a coup against their government, following months of opposition protests, a disrupted election and removal of the Prime Minister from office. The former Prime Minister, Yingluck Shinawatra, is the sister of another former prime minister who was toppled in by the military in 2006. Thailand has a long history of military coups. Thai politics is divided into two fiercely opposed camps: the leftist Redshirt supporters of the Shinawatras and their conservative opponents. As the poorer Redshirts are more popular they generally win elections, while the middle-class conservatives use protest tactics to disrupt government or, if that fails, the army simply seizes power. A critical factor in Thai politics is the assent of the King, who commands immense authority. No coup that failed to gain the King’s assent ever succeeded, and no coup that got it ever failed. For this coup, generals had to wait five days to receive assent, which may express royal frustration with the whole situation. "I'm not here to argue with anyone. I want to bring everything out in the open and fix it," said General Prayuth Chan-ocha in the first press conference since seizing power. He then threatened future protests. "Right now there are people coming out to protest… I'm asking the people in the country, if you want it that
MANA MEMBERS QUIT AFTER COALITION ANNOUNCEMENT. CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF KADER
—
way, then I will have to enforce the law." Founding member of the Mana Party Sue Bradford and two others have quit the party in the wake of the decision to merge Mana
“...THE MIDDLE-CLASS CONSERVATIVES USE PROTEST TACTICS TO DISRUPT GOVERNMENT OR, IF THAT FAILS, THE ARMY SIMPLY SEIZES POWER.”
with Kim Dotcom's Internet Party to contest the 2014 elections as Internet Mana. "Sucking up to German millionaires is not my vision of the future" said Bradford. She has repeatedly stated her opposition to the alliance, calling it a "big mistake." Mana leader Hone Harawira has said that the coalition has the support of the majority of Mana party members.
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INTERNET MANA COALITION FORMALISED SARA LEMME
NOMINATIONS FOR WSU BOARD OF DIRECTORS 2015 WAIKATO STUDENTS' UNION
—
— Last week saw the announcement of the Internet
Mana Party leader, Hone Harawira also put forward
Party’s new leader and a coalition between the Mana
similar reasoning, stating, “It’ll help us connect with
Party and Internet Party. The “Internet-Mana” coalition, which the Internet Party has referred to as a “win for young New Zealanders” will see the two parties working together
rangatahi and get more people out to vote, attract a wider voter base, and increase our presence in Parliament – all while holding firm to our policies.” Provisions made in the memorandum include: the
Nominations for the WSU Board of directors, President, Vice President and VP Maori open on the 21st of July. If you would like to be considered for these positions please come and see the WSU reception for more details.
“...A COMMITMENT OF CANDIDATES FROM BOTH PARTIES, IF ELECTED, TO NOT SUPPORT ANY GOVERNMENT THAT INCLUDES THE NATIONAL PARTY.”
NAIL-BITING DEMOCRACY! CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF KADER
— Egyptian presidential elections were held between the 26 th and 28th of May with voting extended first for an extra hour and then an extra day (at the time of writing) due to low voter turnout. The only two candidates were Abdel Fattah el-Sisi and lefty-Nasserist Hamdeen Sabahi with the party ‘Popular Current’ which he formed following his third-place result
on policy and collectively supporting a no National
order of the combined party list, namely Mana taking
Party led government ideal.
the first, third, and fourth places while the Internet Party
“Our ambition has always been to get the voice of
hold second, fifth and sixth; and a commitment of can-
young New Zealanders – the digital generation – heard
didates from both parties, if elected, to not support any
in Parliament,” said Internet Party chief executive
government that includes the National Party. The par-
Vikram Kumar, stating that the tough 5% threshold
ties will also not contest for any of the same electorates
for new parties was one of the reasons for the part-
and members will still remain separate and under their
nership that was formalised through a memorandum
own party identities for this aspect of the elections.
of understanding.
in the 2012 presidential elections. Sisi became a prominent figure following the revolt against Hosni Mubarak which put the military in charge of the country and then seized direct power in the coup against President Mohamed Morsi in 2013. Sabahi favours social justice, regional leadership and non-interference in Egypt from outside forces. From what can be cribbed, Sisi is in favour of militarism and energy-saving lightbulbs.
DEPORTED MAN DIES CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF KADER
— Sunil Kumar, a Fijian Indian man who was ordered to leave NZ while wait-
THE LEGACY OF AN AD MAN
ing for a kidney transplant died after contracting an infection on the 26th of May. Kumar left New Zealand on April 24 when faced with a deportation order and five-year ban. Kumar has been living in New Zealand since 2010. His work visa was declined last July after he developed renal disease.
JAMES RAFFAN
—
Kumar's family had raised $120,000 of the $130,000 for his transplant through donations and fundraisers. Kumar was on peritoneal dialysis in
After over a decade of faithful service Nexus Magazine’s
the magazines around campus and throughout town
New Zealand but could only access haemodialysis in Fiji. His family had
longest serving employee will conclude his tenure with
every week for almost the entirety of his tenure.
said that most patients on haemodialysis died because of uncontrollably
the organisation at the end of the Semester.
Nexus, the WSU and those who have built relation-
high infection rates. Associate Immigration Minister Nikki Kaye said, in
Tony Arkell has spent a long and distinguished
ships with you over the last 12 years would all like to
her defence, that before deciding not to intervene she sought assurance
career in advertising management and sales. His duties
thank you for everything you have done and wish you
from the Ministry of Health that appropriate care was available for Kumar
with the magazine have included client liason, sales
well on the future. The staff meetings will not be the
in Fiji.
and IT support. He was also responsible for distributing
same without you.
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nexus magazine
NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY
FREE PUBLIC LECTURE ON MATERIALS PROCESSING —
From the houses we live in and the cars we drive, to the computers and smart phones we use, much of our daily activity relies on our interaction with materials. In her Inaugural Professorial Lecture this month, Professor Kim Pickering from the School of Engineering will use examples from her career to demonstrate how materials science and engineering is a key driver for technological development and national economic success. Her lecture will focus on elements of past and current research, as well as some “crystal ball gazing” for future developments. The lecture, “Making, Shaking and Breaking”, starts at 6pm on Tuesday 17 June in the Academy and is free and open to the public. The Opus Bar is open from 5pm.
WAIKATO UNIVERSITY PARTNERS WITH FIELDAYS
GRADUATE PROGRAMME PRESENTATIONS ON CAMPUS THIS WEEK
—
—
The University of Waikato is once again a Strategic Partner in this year’s National
Fonterra will be on campus on Wednesday 4 June from 1-2pm in S.1.02 to talk about its graduate
Agricultural Fieldays – the largest agribusiness event in the Southern Hemisphere. The
programme for Science and Engineering students. Graduate industries include Food Technology,
University of Waikato will have a presence in the Premier Feature area and students are
Science, and Engineering (Mechanical, Chemical & Materials, Process, Electronics, Mechatronics).
encouraged to visit the stand.
CPA Australia, one of the world's largest accounting bodies, is holding individual drop-in ses-
SHARE YOUR OPINION, WIN CASH/PRIZES - FINAL WEEK
sions on Thursday 5 June from 12-1pm in M.2.02, level 2 of the Student Centre. You can talk to a CPA Student Ambassador about how doing the CPA programme can support you in your accounting career.
— The University is giving you the opportunity to tell us what you think about life at Waikato Uni. Complete our Student Barometer Survey and you will be in the draw to win some awesome prizes, including tablets, smart phones, and $1,000 cash. This survey is open to domestic students only and closes this Friday, 6 June. Check your email inbox for the link (sent Wednesday 14 May). International students were surveyed in 2013.
RE-ENROL NOW FOR B SEMESTER — You can add or change papers for B Semester in iWaikato at any time, so get in quick so that everything is organised before the start of the semester. If you have a student loan or allowance, you need to be enrolled to make sure your payments continue. www.waikato.ac.nz/study/enrol/b-semester
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HOW TO PICK A TEAM TO SUPPORT. SPORTS GUY - OPINION
— I had a thought this week: not all of you will have a team you support. Some of you might not be that into sport but maybe your partner is, so choosing a team to follow might make it slightly more bearable for you to sit through. Here are some tips on how to choose a team. 1: The Enemy. It’s always fun to have a little healthy competition around the hostel/flat/house. If you live with someone who is passionate about a team, sit down and watch a game with them. Rather than support their team too, cheer for the opposition. If your team wins, you can gloat; if they don’t, you can play the old “ah well, it’s not like I actually care about this sport”. Essentially, it’s a win-win situation for you. If your housemate can’t take a
TIPS FOR THE FIRST ROUND OF MATCHES OF THE FIFA WORLD CUP IN BRAZIL. SPORTS GUY - OPINION
—
joke or is a bad loser, try one of the other options though. Some of you might want to dabble at the TAB, some of you 2: The Team in “Pretty Colours”. In a similar style to how a
might be doing an online tipping competition. Either way, here
number of girls bet on horses, another option is to just pick the
are my picks for how the first round of matches is going to go.
team with the prettiest colours on their uniform. Get someone to go through the team uniforms with you and do it that way or, again, sit down and watch a game and pick between the two teams you are watching. 3: The Winners or the Underdogs. Story time – when I was somewhere around the ages of 10 and 12, this is how I chose teams to support. The first NBA game I watched was the Heat vs the Bulls. The Heat lost, so I started to support them. The same story goes for when I chose to support the Parramatta Eels. I passionately support both teams to this day. So, for this option, just watch a game and either pick the team who wins or the team who loses to support. Once you’ve picked a team to support, you’ll start to get to know the players names and some of the rules if you stick to it. I think you’ll find that once you pick a team, watching sport with someone will become not only bearable, but enjoyable too.
June 12: Brazil VS Croatia. Brazil are the host nations and will make a statement in this one. Brazil by at least 2. June 13: Mexico Vs Cameroon; Spain VS Netherlands; Chile VS Australia. Mexico should get up, but I think it’ll be close. Spain will be too good for the Netherlands early on. Netherlands tend to find their feet in the knockout stages. Chile should be able to beat Australia, but it won’t be as easy as people think. June 14: Columbia VS Greece; Uruguay VS Costa Rica; England VS Italy; Ivory Coast VS Japan. Greece are a very defense minded team. This match up has draw written all over it. Uruguay will be too good for Costa Rica. England need a result here, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see them win this fixture. Ivory Coast should be able to take Japan by 1 or 2 goals. June 15: Switzerland VS Ecuador; France VS Honduras; Argentina VS Bosnia-Herzegovina. This match day seems easy to pick. Switzerland, then France and Argentina comfortably. June 16: Germany VS Portugal; Iran VS Nigeria; Ghana VS USA. Germany will be too good for Portugal; as will Nigeria against Iran. I’m tipping a draw in the third fixture. June 17: Belgium VS Algeria; Brazil VS Mexico; Russia VS South Korea. Belgium should win this one by a lot. Brazil will get up over Mexico and Russia should beat South Korea, but don’t be surprised to see an upset here. So there are my choices. Good luck out there, kids.
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RIDICULIST
VOX POPS
Ridiculous Time Wasting Websites.
Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.
1 textsfromlastnight.com “...and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my
Zach, Science. Best Study-tip? Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat. What do you think is an acceptable level of cheating? Thinks for quite a while. No, no cheating. What’s a weird thing you do when you’re alone? I stalk the neighbour’s cat.
cum and whispered ‘Simba’...”
2 buzzfeed.com
Chloe, Bio.
Quiz things, lol things, fail things, wtf things… all the
Best Study-tip? Not sure if I can say this, but Ritalin. What do you think is
things to help you waste your precious time.
an acceptable level of cheating? None. What’s a weird thing you do when you’re alone? I talk to inanimate objects like my keyboard.
3 findtheinvisiblecow.com The closer you move to the cow, the more eagerly the voice shouts COW! Fun to play with your eyes shut.
Dominic, Bio. Best Study-tip? Just be smarter than everyone else. What do you think is
4
an acceptable level of cheating? Moderate amounts of cheating. What’s a weird thing you do when you’re alone? I pelvic thrust to music.
lamebook.com Nothing makes you feel better about your life than all the idiots on here. It’s kind of like the Jeremy Kyle show, but online.
5 cracked.com “9 Things You Can Eat When You're Hungry and at a Porn Store”, “15 Reasons You Should Have Hit Me With Your Car” and more!
Cass, Bio. Best Study-tip? Take advantage of all your resources, not just lecture notes but reference texts, library and journals. What do you think is an acceptable level of cheating? Zero- if you can’t do it at uni you definitely can’t do it in a job. What’s a weird thing you do when you’re alone? I sing to my cats. Turns out I’m not usually alone though, my flatmate is writing down all the songs to turn them into an album. Fraser, Bio.
6 pinterest.com Make awesome collages of things you like. But if you
Best Study-tip? Mind maps. What do you think is an acceptable level of cheating? None. What’s a weird thing you do when you’re alone? I give objects in my house tragic back stories, like the chair that is sad because it never gets sat on.
make a wedding board, I will disown you.
7
Emma, BMS.
textfromdog.tumblr.com
Best Study-tip? Fuck. What do you think is an acceptable level of cheating?
-What’s ‘fat’?
None. What’s a weird thing you do when you’re alone? I make snapchat
-Fat’s what you get when you eat too much food.
videos. It’s a hobby.
-FAT SOUNDS AWESOME LET’S GET FAT!
8 porntube.com The internet is for porn after all.
Emily, CUP. Best Study-tip? Redbull. What do you think is an acceptable level of cheating? None. What’s a weird thing you do when you’re alone? Make snapchat videos of random objects in my room being creative.
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Sunshine on Leith FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON
X-Men: Days of Future Past FILM REVIEW BY MEGAN
To describe a musical as "modest" might seem like a contradiction in terms. Sunshine on Leith is just that, though in a very charming way. Based on a stage play that in turn took its inspiration from the songs of The Proclaimers, its plot scales no great dramatic heights. It is unashamedly the story of everyday Scottish working people: a pair of soldiers, their respective families and girlfriends. One of the lads is in love with the sister of the other, his friend falls for his sister's best friend and his parents experience marital difficulties. Of all the musical numbers - and there are plenty - two stand out. Both of these are orchestrations of The Proclaimers most famous song: "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)". The opening number, as the soldiers dance for joy on the streets of Edinburgh after returning from a tour in Afghanistan, briefly evokes memories of the classic On the Town. However, after that all other choreography is amateur hour. Clearly the performers were chosen for their acting and singing abilities rather than as dancers. If you know The Proclaimers songbook, Sunshine on Leith will be a must. For the most part it works within its own limitations, perhaps stopping short of being genuinely moving but well crafted, cast and acted nonetheless. Peter Mullan is a particular standout as the conflicted father - if more modest than most in his vocals - and the youngsters are both charismatic and easy on the eye.
My friend in high school was named Logan and all of his family had X-men names- either as first or second names. This was really weird but awesome at the same time. There is nothing weird about this movie however, it’s straight out awesome. The premise of the movie is that the world is about to end, so Wolverine must travel into the past to correct it before it happens. Ellen Page explains why Wolverine won’t look any different and then teleports Hugh Jackman back into the 70s to rewrite the present a la Terminator. With spectacular graphics, the movie allows newcomers and fans alike to come to grips with the pre-modern version of many characters. Hugh Jackman is the most ripped link between the two time threads one could ask for, and his pecs and biceps fill any possible holes in the story. Tyrion from Game of Thrones makes an appearance- he doesn't disappoint and punches above his height in portraying a villain hell-bent on creating robots to destroy mutants. But I’m not sure how I feel about Raven- am I allowed to think she’s sexy, or is that bestiality? The sub-story between Magneto and Professor X is also worthy of note and is only one of many links to the other films in terms of plot continuity. All this said, you would be able to enjoy this instalment without seeing the others. Half of the cinema left before the end of the credits- and any amateur knows that there’s always a post credit sequence with Marvel movies.
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Comedy Convoy
ALBUM REVIEW BY HP
GIG REVIEW BY RACHAEL ELLIOTT
The stirring elegance of the new record from Nick Granville is something
Paul Ego got the crowd warmed up by taking the piss out of the rich types
that is instantly gratifying. Granville is a guitarist, band leader, composer
on the sofas down the front, then out came Justine Smith. I’m all for vulgar
and an integrator of ideas. His jazz guitar work slides around his composite
ginger comics, but some of her jokes were more cringe-worthy than hilari-
band, who are nothing short of a swish cast of experts. As this is up on
ous. She was still funny, but in an “awwww no!” kind of way.
bandcamp.com for free/koha, it is an excellent introduction to NZ jazz if
After that came out one of the UK divorcees. Does every comic in the
that’s something new to you. Otherwise it sits out at the end of Wellington
UK that gets a divorce just go “fuck it, I’m going to NZ”? Both Marcus and
wharf on its own support structures of samba, swing and soul.
Carl touched on this theme, but only one of them was actually funny about
Opening with the light and intricate finger work of Granville’s guitar,
it. I can’t remember which one. Whoever was talking about the threesome
Matakana is a track steeped in Latin flavour. But, as Neil Billington’s horn
with two Norwegian girls in which he got his cock bitten- that guy. The
searches through peaks and troughs like a ship finding its way home, it
fact that I can’t remember who was who might be an indictment on the
becomes clear that this album is just as much local as it is international.
comedy, or it might be an indictment on my reviewing skills. You choose.
Songs like Newtown waft in like a sea fog with the violin work sounding
But Jarred Fell stole the show. He chose two of the most awkward
like a soulful karanga. Meanwhile the groove on Manor Park has the down-
people I’ve ever seen to come up on stage and be humiliated. It was so
stairs, smokey feel of the American jazz greats. Despite the heavyweight players here, including the resounding Roger Fox on Trombone, this is Granville’s record. His swift and seductive playing
huge angry German dude with blonde hair and blue eyes. It was glorious.
is striking. He swings out to solo on numbers like Mount Cook with palpa-
He said the magic being shit was the comedy part- but I’m still trying to
ble success. As a reasonably short record, it allows Granville to keep things
figure the last trick out.
interesting and he keeps pushing songs in different directions. It’s the bravery behind his decisions that makes this album as well as his ensemble.
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perfect that I wondered if it had been set up- the jokes wrote themselves. The first guy was a gangly awkward virgin dude, the second guy was a
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Great night out, laughed myself sick.
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Half Bad
Dead Island
BOOK REVIEW BY RENÉE BOYER-WILLISSON
GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT
For the Council, the world is definitely black and white. White witches
With the sequel ‘Riptide’ having just recently hit the stores, I felt that I
are good and to be protected. Black witches are bad and to be brought
should give Dead Island itself a crack. The game kind of feels like the love
to justice.
child of Left 4 Dead, Dead Rising and Farcry, yet doesn't play much like
Born of a black witch father and a white witch mother, Nathan is a half-code and the only one of his kind. According to the Council, he is dangerous and must be closely monitored to see which of his halves will win out.
any of them. As Zombie games go, this is a pretty good outing, if you ignore the glitches. Which, unfortunately, you can’t. I spent 5 minutes trying to ascend a flight of stairs, each time getting flung back down as if I was attached to a rubber
It soon becomes clear, however, that what the Council just wants to
band; two characters who hand out quests spontaneously vanish (until the
use Nathan as bait to catch his father. But while the Council might see the
game is reset a bunch of times) and other annoyances. Even though the
world in black and white, it is pretty clear that the self-proclaimed “good” game has been out for a fair while, these glitches don’t seem to have ever white witches are often as bad as their “bad” black witch foes, and the
been fixed (for console or PC).
distinction between killing for “good” and killing for “evil” is very tenuous.
That aside, the game is fun. It might not teem with massive hordes of the
This book is a comment on authority and the dangers of self-proclaimed
undead like Left 4 Dead or Dead Rising, but there are times when you can
righteousness – a sort of teenage-fantasy version of Orwell’s 1984.
get yourself outnumbered and beaten to death. Like Dead Rising you can
Being based around witches, Harry Potter comparisons are likely inevi-
upgrade or create weapons, meaning you have to loot corpses and boxes.
table, but Nathan’s world is certainly no Hogwarts, it’s darker and has more
Like Left 4 Dead there are regular zombies and ‘special’ ones. Unlike Left 4
adult themes. I enjoyed the structure of the book, which played with time and point
Dead, these special zombies feel more realistic - as realistic as they can be when we’re talking zombies. The story presented through the cut scenes
of view to good effect. It opens in the little-used second person narrative,
might feel a little dry and forced, but since the game’s essentially an RPG,
which works well to both unsettle and draw in the reader, but switches
you can forge your own narrative pretty nicely anyway.
back to the more familiar first person a couple of chapters in. Originally reviewed http://booksellersnz.wordpress.com/2014/05/14/ book-review-half-bad-by-sally-green/
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nexus magazine
HØNEST MATT MEETS KIM DOTCØM Honest Matt Matt Hicks
Matt Hicks talks to controversial and colourful NZ household name Kim
in New Zealand. Is this really feasible and how? The cynics out there
Dotcom about the policies of his new Internet Party contesting this year’s
would say this is an empty promise to get votes from a minor party.
general election.
It was feasible for earlier generations, so why not now? What’s changed?
In short, what does the Internet party stand for? What are your key values and major issues you’ll be campaigning on? We stand for the
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Remember, too, that these generations also got things such as universal free healthcare and access to affordable housing.
freedom of the Internet and technology, for privacy and political reform.
We can do it, if there’s a will and young people make it clear it’s what
This is a movement for people who haven’t voted before, who have been
they want come September 20. For us it’s not an empty promise or a ‘bribe’
disappointed by voting, or who don’t like the political choices on offer. A
– free education for all is non-negotiable because we can’t go on with the
lot of people don’t seem too fazed about privacy laws. There’s a train
current, flawed system we have now. If that means compromises in other
of thought that if you’ve got nothing to hide then you’ve got noth-
areas, then so be it, because we need to invest in the future and we need
ing to worry about. Why is changing our privacy laws/repealing the
to do it right now. You guys are trying to rally young New Zealanders
GCSB bill law so important for New Zealanders? Kiwis going about
who are notoriously hard to get to the polling booths/move politically.
their lives shouldn’t be subjected to having their personal information and
How are you going to get these young people to get off their asses
online communications collected by Government spies and shared with
to vote for you? Young Kiwis have given up because they don’t think they
foreign agencies. Mass surveillance isn’t making New Zealanders safer.
can make a difference. We know they can. Like young people we’re about
There is absolutely no evidence that mass surveillance works, not even for
being innovative, challenging the status quo and being different. You’re
national security. Even the usual ‘if you only knew what we know’ from
sick of having people talk ‘at’ you, not ‘with’ you. We all had enough of
secretive spy bosses and politicians can’t hide that fact. All these laws
that from our parents. So we’ll change that by talking with students and
have done is trade away New Zealand’s sovereignty and independence to
young New Zealanders about things that matter to them and in ways that
overseas powers. And it costs a bomb – money that could be better spent
work for them. The Internet Party is all about young people leading the way.
elsewhere. We understand you would like to see free education for all
More at sounzgood.co.nz.
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This is it. The last week of the semester. It’s time to tell him how you feel. You have watched him in tutorials, you have stood by him in Bar 101, there was even that memorable time where you think he may have almost said hello to you once. It’s time to tell him that you’re having his baby.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
To be successful in life ask yourself what would Jesus do? The answer is that he probably wouldn’t be reading horoscopes. The whole “divined from the stars” thing seems a little contradictory to his “Have no other gods” bit. Also I hear these jokes don’t translate to ancient Hebrew that well.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Sometimes, when faced with virtually insurmountable odds, the best thing we can do is retreat into ourselves to regroup. Sometimes the only way we can cope is to accept that everything that is happening is outside of the realm of our control. In other words, this week when life gives you lemons run away. You may be scared of lemons.
Ask yourself what separates you from successful people? This is the week to attack life with everything you have. There is no time for missed opportunities or the self-doubt that normally plagues you. This week you will be the person you have always had the potential to be. Or you will get stoned and watch Adventure Time re-runs. There is always next week.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
In a world that is increasingly crazy it’s nice to know that you can always rely on your friends. It would be nice if you actually had friends instead of having to spend each night tucked away in your halls of residence cry wanking and wishing you were more popular. But hey, there is always next semester and once you make friends you will always be able to rely on them.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Up, Up, Back, Back, Circle, Cross, Circle, Square, Triangle, Start. That could well be the cheat code that will change your life. Of course it could just be a description of this epileptic guy we saw dancing at “The Wall” the other night. The choice is up to you.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Control your own destiny. Create your own horoscope joke using the words: Geese, Orgasm, Death and Vladimir Putin. Feel free to send it back to us in lettuce.
Jupiter moves into alignment with Saturn, Saturn has secretly been seeing Mars. Surely this won’t end well for any of them. Tune in at the same time next Semester to find out how this love triangle will end on “As the Universe Turns”, your favourite horoscope-based soap opera.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
HOROSCOPES
Ladies, no need for tinder anymore. If you want to meet some degenerates keen for rampant, no strings attached sex where nothing is off the table then look no further than the Debating society. Meeting each week on a campus near you. The safe word is moot.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Unleash your inner freak. With the end of the semester comes the end of the overtly conservative you. It’s time to do something shocking. Dye your hair. Get a tongue ring. Start talking exclusively in catcher in the rye quotes. Smoke cigarettes. But if you do decide to smoke please do so off campus. This includes weekends and evenings because we live in a Fascist dictatorship.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Solipsism dictates that I can only be sure of my own existence and that you might be a creation of my own mind so there is no horoscope for you because it would just be feeding my own schizophrenia (somewhere a philosophy student is reading this while writing an essay on Descartes. Mind blown)
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Do nothing. Honestly. You have been working hard for the entire semester and where has that gotten you? There is something to be said for having the courage to let life happen to you. Still remember to floss though because laziness is no excuse for poor dental hygiene.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
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Study Time BEATS BY J
Never Gonna Change Broods / Broods
Bon Iver / Blood Bank
Woods
John Newman / Tribute
Losing Sleep
Mumford & Sons / Babel
Below My Feet
Fleetwood Mac / Fleetwood Mac
Landslide
The Lumineers / The Lumineers
Stubborn Love
Cat Power / The Greatest
The Greatest
Chet Faker / Digging The Blogosphere
No Diggity
Marlene / Stay Awake
Stay Awake
Paloma Faith / A Perfect Contradiction
Only Love Can Hurt Like This
Nathaniel / You
You
Mapei / Don't Wait Don't Wait
Sam Smith / Nirvana EP Latch (Acoustic)
Kyla La Grange / Cut Your Teeth Cut Your Teeth (Kygo Remix)
Seinabo Sey / Younger (The Remixes) Younger (Kygo Remix)
Clean Bandit / Jess Glynne
Rather Be
Route 94 / Jess Glynne / My Love
My Love
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AUTEUR PRESENTS CHAPLIN Auteur Dr Richard Swainson
This year marks a century since Charlie Chaplin made his debut both
Subtlety is of course not something usually equated with the broad slap-
was extraordinary. In a matter of months a relatively unknown musical hall
stick of Mack Sennett's Keystone troupe. If you only know the later Chaplin
entertainer became the most recognisable man on the planet. Chaplin was
work and take his 1914 apprenticeship out of context the films may seem
far from being the first movie personality, but no star had ever achieved
crude or even amateur. To an extent, at least by today's standards, they are.
such an international reputation so quickly. Arguably, none has since either.
Characterisation is broad and stereotypical. Most of the physical gags do
Auteur House has acquired a box set of DVDs containing all but two of
not rise much beyond the level of the pratfall. It's the type of cinema where
the 1914 Keystone films on which his stardom was founded. Most are shorts, ranging from 8 minutes to around 18 minutes. The sole exception, Tillie's Punctured Romance, is considered the very first comedy feature.
kicking someone in the seat of their pants is thought hilarious. For all this Chaplin still emerges as the proto-genius. His mastery of pantomime at once sets him apart from his fellow, more experienced
In terms of copyright the Keystone shorts are in the public domain. As
players and raises their game. After a false start in which Sennett cast his
such, cheap, poor quality DVDs and videotapes have long since flooded the
new employee as a dandy, Chaplin quickly invented his trademark 'Little
market. Indeed, before the recent acquisition, these were the only copies
Tramp' character and began building and shading his creation. The world
which Auteur House had available for rent.
fell instantly in love with the put-upon yet feisty battler, remaining so even
The new box set reflects the work of an international project some years
after Adolf Hitler appropriated his moustache.
ago to find the best prints of each film. As the original negatives had long
For me the most fascinating of the shorts is still the Tramp's first. Shot
since been lost this was essential. Once the search was complete new
against the backdrop of a children's trolley car race, Kid Auto Races at
copies were compiled. The clearest surviving pieces from sundry different
Venice sees Chaplin as a spectator who is so enamoured with a movie
prints were edited together and these new masters then digitally improved.
camera that he cannot help but mugging and showing off, interfering with
For any acquainted with the material the new shorts are a revelation.
the filming of the race itself. Both self-reflective and prophetic, it hints at
There's extra footage on some and the overall quality of the images is greatly improved. Visual details and the subtlety of performance are
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revealed for the first time since the films were initially released.
before and behind the movie cameras. Chaplin's rise to fame in 1914
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the greatness to come.
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LONG BLACK CLOUD Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf
In my hour of need I have been listening recently, over and over again,
explore the constructed nature of language or the political quandaries of
to Bryan Ferry and his interpretation of a couple of Bob Dylan tunes.
post-colonialism these days. Even when art strikes emotionally deeper, for
Ferry does a wonderful job with All Along the Watchtower and Knockin’ on
example in Damien Hirst’s pickled shark floating in a tank of formaldehyde
Heaven’s Door. Hendrix of course was the first to kick even more life into
with the provocative title, The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of
the former apocalyptic dirge but Ferry makes a good fist of this little poetic
Someone Living, it’s like, well tell us something we don’t know.
number which I regard as one of the all-time great songs.
I have been using Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door, a downhearted song with
Sometimes it’s the music and sometimes the lyrics that can help carry
an upbeat tempo to clear my mind, bring respite and relief connected with
you through the valley of the shadow when you “feel that life is but a joke”,
complications thrown up by a death in the family. The deputy sheriff dying
which it is of course. The reality of despair naturally varies, pressing in a
from a bullet wound and handing in his guns and badge becomes a potent
little harder from time to time as the exigencies of life conspire against us
metaphor. However, death today in a largely secular world is different from
and then it’s time to reach for the bottle, or in my case for a song that can
death even a couple of generations back when most were fairly certain
support and sustain me. It’s strange how this form of art is the one people
of the existence of a “heaven’s door”. It seems odd that I should find
call on most frequently when “the long black cloud is coming down”. The
comfort from distress in a song that alludes to stuff we no longer believe
visual arts are less seldom used as a panacea in times of ordeal. How many
in. Obviously it’s not the lyrics that matter so much but rather the melan-
trot down to the local gallery or video store to find some image, or series
choly tone that matches my own. This is where the comfort is located, at
of such, to help carry them through the dark night of the soul? Anyway
least for the duration of the piece. Bryan Ferry’s treatment certainly helps
you’d be disappointed today if you went looking for paintings to relieve
when “it’s getting dark, too dark to see”. This beautiful sad sweet song
you of the headache of living, let alone the heartache of life. Art like that
catches the tumbling soul as the wailing guitars and plaintive harmonica
has essentially ceased to function. It’s more about clever little tropes that
help administer the narcotic.
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PHOTOGRAPH: INDRA SALIM
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EUROPE Overseas Experience Indra Salim
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Europe has always been on the top of my “places to visit” list. Last
biggest Christmas markets they have. And yeah, no kidding! It was big and
summer break, I used my two month time off to finally go to three
crowded. They had a lot of nice stuff. Warm wine, hot juice and many cakes
European countries and one Asian country. My main destination was the
that I cannot even pronounce or spell, they were all so good. After my
Czech Republic to do a project provided by AIESEC. The project I did was
project, I decided to go to Switzerland and I skied for the first time. It was
called EDISON Project where I went to 5 different high schools in Brno,
quite embarrassing as it took me 2 hours to ski down the mountain while
Czech Republic to increase students’ cultural awareness. AIESEC provided
a little boy only took 10 minutes. It was still a great experience though.
me with a lot of things. I was assigned a buddy from local AIESEC who
I tried so many types of food when I was there. I tried Czech beer (which
helped me to sort out my accommodation, transport card, phone card,
is amazingly good and cheap!), Czech dumplings, honey wine, warm wine,
and all the other things I needed to survive there. They also prepared a lot
honey cake, hot juice, horse meat, different types of cheese, and many
of activities that we could do during the night after our teaching hours. It
more. One of the things that I regret the most is my stomach capacity. I
was an interesting time as I found significant cultural difference between
wish I could eat more.
New Zealand and Czech Republic. The project also gave me the opportunity
It was the most exciting experience to to do something new, meet new
to learn about other cultures represented by other foreigners involved in
people and see the world has to offer. I still have many places to visit in
the project.
Europe and am so looking forward to going back there and exploring more.
Staying in the Czech Republic allowed me to go to Austria on the week-
It was the best decision I have ever made to travel to the other side of
end. Christmas is a big time in the Europe. They celebrate Christmas like
the world with AIESEC. Not only did I got all the support I needed, I also
there is no tomorrow. I found Christmas markets everywhere. I was told
got a chance to develop the local community and make an impact there.
that it is a must to go to the Christmas market in Austria, one of the
I experienced many new things that I did not even know even existed.
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A SURPRISING LACK OF RACISM Awesome Dead Person Christie Shaw
SAILOR JERRY, THE SAILOR-IEST OF JERRY’S Awesome Dead Person Mike Bilodeau
New Zealand has fast developed a reputation as the most tatIn life, surprises come in many forms. Some are good, some are bad and some have 21 year long consequences. But this surprise came when a main character in a movie I was watching was Harrison Ford all along. (Watch '42' and check out Branch Rickey played by Harrison Ford.) Branch Rickey (1881 - 1965) was a Major League Baseball Executive most famous for breaking colour disparity in the Major League by drafting Jackie Robinson into the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1945. Baseball’s colour barrier had been an unwritten rule since the 1880s, but Branch wasn’t having any of it. He knew that Robinson would face discrimination, racism and wide-scale harshness, but coached him not to retaliate so that he could blaze a trail for other people of colour to join the league. Other achievements were drafting the first Afro-Hispanic player Roberto Clemente, establishing the minor league 'farm teams' to give experience to players, and also introducing the batting helmet. (Pragmatic as well as politically radical.) Mr. Rickey also suffered immense persecution when he fought for Jackie Robinson to be in the Dodgers. But he knew Jackie wasn't a beneficiary sitting on his ass looking to the institution (which was created by white Americans) to give him what he wanted because he believed himself entitled it. No. He knew he was a talented individual who played ball to the best of his ability in order to fund his soon-to-be fianceé's education. He was a mature and goal-oriented character and he knew he would face a life-long battle for acceptance. Mr. Rickey chose Jackie to be his first AM ball player because of his character and his talent COMBINED. Rickey quoted, "I don't like the subtle infiltration of 'something for nothing' philosophies into the very hearthstone of the American family. I believe that 'Thou shalt earn the bread by the sweat of thy face' is a benediction and not a penalty. Work is the zest of life; there is joy in its pursuit." No truer words have been spoken.
tooed nation on the planet, with roughly 36% of under-30’s falling under the inky needle, for both good and bad reasons. With the huge resurgence of flash art storming our shores (largely due to them hipster runabouts with their anchors and sailor ships), I feel it is appropriate to take a look at where it all started. For a man so iconic he had a style of artistry named after him; a man so synonymous with such a distinct style that you’re likely to forget he was an actual person, look no further than Norman “Sailor Jerry” Collins. Nevada born in 1911 and nicknamed ‘Jerry’ by his father after a belligerent mule, Collins first picked up the art of hand punched tattoos from a man named “Big Mike” in Alaska. During his tour with the navy at age 19, he was heavily intrigued and inspired by the artwork he saw during his travels to Far East Asia. This artwork and his tattooing skill was brought with him to the (then) very remote island of Oahu, Hawaii. Renowned for his plain white t-shirts which emphasized his heavily tattooed arms, Sailor Jerry became the epitome of American style sailor art. The ‘last outpost’ was a renowned stamping ground for millions of soldiers and sailors, all of whom were itching to spend it up large on tattoos, titties ‘n’ tequila, (I don’t know if there was actually tequila there, but I needed another ‘T’ word). He was none too modest about his skill, epitomizing the phrase, “a good tattoo ain’t cheap and a cheap tattoo ain’t good” and handing out business cards which famously stated “My Work Speaks For Itself”. Reportedly, he was also a bit of a bigoted piece of shit, but let’s focus on the nice shiny side of ol’ Jerry and not taint your nautical star tattoo with undertones of racism and asshol-ery. Collins left his legacy to his two apprentices (one of them is Ed Hardy, who has left his legacy to a bunch of douche-y clothing) and a brand of Sailor Jerry 80 proof Spiced Rum (which got a whopping 2/5 stars on masterofmalt.com!). Nonetheless, his name lives on through his vivid artistry and distinctive style.
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nexus magazine
As the weather drives us indoors and exams loom Alyssa Wolk hunts out the best study spots and gives us the low down. When it comes to studying I all too often find myself
So I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite places to
sitting in my room in Orchard Park skimming the inter-
study, why they’re awesome and why they suck so that you
net, watching my lightwire account balance dwindle
too can escape the black hole of your house.
and trying to keep myself motivated. To be fair, I would still sit online and ‘study’ even if I was
Level 1- The Library. On the one hand the first level has some nice comfy couches, access to computers (and
at my home university, 10,500 km away in California, but
wifi), an overpriced delicious chocolate caramel square at
that campus has way more awesome places to study than
Momento, and a not too far walk to the toilet. But on the
this one does. You can stay on campus studying until at
other, it’s quite in the public eye and can be a distracting
least midnight (or even 24 hours for finals) with loads of
place to do more serious work. I recommend that you pop
unlimited wifi all over campus!
some headphones in, go out to the back veranda to enjoy
I really enjoy it here, the people, the campus, the area and I don’t miss too much about home. But I have had
your lunch and readings, and look super studious while rocking to some EDM or Tchaikovsky.
“IT IS ALSO ADVISED TO BRING HEADPHONES TO KEEP YOU MORE FOCUSED UNLESS YOU DO ENJOY OVERHEARING BIT OF SO-AND-SO’S SEXSCAPADES, OR THE PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL CONVERSATION AT THE THE TABLE ACROSS FROM YOU.”
to be cunning to find places to study around here before
Level 3- The Library. My ultimate favourite place in the
they close at 4pm, or if you’re in the library then 9pm
library to study is on the bean bag chairs and couches on
(on a good day). I don’t want to pay $15 for after-hours
Level 3. The plus side is that you get to be comfy, you’re
access to just sit in the computer lab when I have my own
within reach of a power outlet and there’s also the oppor-
laptop- it shouldn’t cost students money to study after
tunity to sit amongst the stack of books and feel secluded.
business hours.
(That is, until someone who is looking for a call number
But in order for me to be the most productive whilst
walks down your row and awkwardly side-steps over your
studying, I need a more academic atmosphere than I find
study-blob of a bean bag.) The other upside is that most
in my comfy and inviting room. Don’t get me wrong, I love
of the people back in this area are all working or reading
sitting in my pj’s tapping away and highlighting readings at
or something, and the casual academic atmosphere really
my desk/bed, but all too often the death grip of the internet
helps me to feel motivated to get whatever it is I am doing
takes hold for what was meant to be a 15 minute ‘break’.
done. Or maybe it’s just all the books around me that gets
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me motivated. If this is too casual for you, there are other
claimed these couches for the semester and they will stare
silent areas on level 3 and 4 that offer cubicle-like desks in
you down muttering curse words until you leave.
close reach of a power outlet. Just a word of caution: be
Town Cafés. If studying on campus isn’t for you, or you
ready for an ocean of glances from studiers whenever you
need a place to study on the weekend or later in the eve-
walk into one of these areas.
nings after the campus library shuts, town is the best place
The worst thing about studying in the library is the ridicu-
to go. Cafés are the best place to look helluva intellectual
lous closing hours. You just get into a groove and then they
and people watch while enjoying yummy food and hot
kick you out.
drinks. It gets you out of the house, yet you can still feel
The Village Green. This is a good place to enjoy lunch or
comfy- it’s only Hamilton after all. (This could be just me
a hot drink and get some reading in before class. Whether
and how much I subconsciously miss California café culture,
you sit at the stage, the amphitheater, the shady benches,
either way, I’m recommending it.)
or outside Momento or Espresso Plus café, you’re bound
Being the broke ass student I am, I go to the places
to feel like a cool kid enjoying the sun (on a good day) and
where I don’t have to pay $15 for a quiche and a cup of tea.
“CAFÉS ARE THE BEST PLACE TO LOOK HELLUVA INTELLECTUAL AND PEOPLE WATCH WHILE ENJOYING YUMMY FOOD AND HOT DRINKS. IT GETS YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE, YET YOU CAN STILL FEEL COMFYIT’S ONLY HAMILTON AFTER ALL.”
enjoy a beautiful view of the lake and the ducks diving
accompany the beverage I purchase. Not sure if that makes
you more focused unless you do enjoy overhearing bit of
me a bad person, not sure if I care either.
so-and-so’s sexscapades, or the pseudo-intellectual conver-
My favorite places to go are on Victoria Street, number
sation at the the table across from you. The downside is
one being Scotts Epicurean because they have the cheap-
that this is still pretty public and can therefore have many
est pot of tea in town ($3). They also have a small patio
distractions. A preferred area for less of a barrage of noise
area that is intimate and more secluded. But Metropolis
would be inside Gurus (around Namaste kitchen) or even
café is another contender and I have spent a few Sundays
someplace around the Gallagher Theater.
in there (even though the pot of tea is a dollar more). I’ve
Other on Campus Spots. Be creative! Sometimes I sit in
also enjoyed doing some readings at restaurants in town
a stairwell, or a nook by a window on campus to get out
while enjoying a lovely lunch. The town Library is also a
of the public eye. Some departments on campus also have
good option with late nights, free wifi and heaps of good
small study areas or couches in their buildings. Watch out
study spaces.
for the scary postgraduate students though- they may have
22
I bring a piece of fruit along with me, or a small snack to
for food. It is also advised to bring headphones to keep
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In the face of such overwhelming stressors, why bother trying to stay sane. Wairehu Grant tells us why you should embrace the madness. The art of last minute cramming (and it is an art) is
Bukowski once said: “Some people never truly go crazy.
often misunderstood and is viewed as an extremely
What horrible lives they must live.” Truer words have never
untoward practice throughout the realm of Academia.
been spoken in my humbly demented opinion. The minute
Admittedly there is a time and place for its implementa-
you free yourself from the constraints of rationality, the
tion; after all I feel it’s safe to assume your local Dentist
world takes on a sudden sense of warped clarity. When you
doesn’t just breeze over a few pamphlets in the waiting
begin to permit yourself to have thoughts along the lines of:
room before haphazardly hacking and slashing at your
“I can finish all the assignments!”
pearly whites. But for some of us, the habitual allure of
“I shit laser beams!”
frantic scrambling can prove far too enticing, and we find
“I will spread jam on your grandmothers’ toes!”
ourselves right back where we were last time in an over-
You’ll soon find that your own limits of what is achiev-
caffeinated, under-slept stupor while our brains shriek a
able and/or possible begin to stretch, and you may just end
steady crescendo of, “Why?!”
up surprising yourself with what you can produce in those
I’ve been asked variations of this same question many
manic final moments.
times: “Why the hell do you keep doing this?” This semes-
I am making the assumption that you, the reader, yes
ter has been by far one of the most dysfunctional, and yet
you... Gary (I just blew some dude named Gary’s mind!) are
“THE MINUTE YOU FREE YOURSELF FROM THE CONSTRAINTS OF RATIONALITY, THE WORLD TAKES ON A SUDDEN SENSE OF WARPED CLARITY.”
productive periods of my brief time in this or any other
at some point in your Tertiary level endeavours, whatever
dimension. Between Open Mic nights, job changing, count-
that may be. A Bachelor of Projectile Vomiting, a Doctorate
less events/drinking sessions with Hamilton’s “Creative
in Occult Ritualistic Practices, or maybe a Masters Degree
Community”, and attempting to organise my very first art
of Inappropriate Film Quotations. Either way you’ve prob-
installation (hint hint, stay tuned) I have somehow managed
ably already figured out how you operate when it comes
to simultaneously amass a string of satisfactory grades
to tackling assignments, so let me stress that this is a path
throughout my papers. In spite of my high concentration
that I neither recommend nor endorse. I mean, have you
of due dates around this time of year, the increasingly inad-
seen me around? The only thing more apparent than the
equate rational portion of my brain has done very little to
deterioration of my mental state is the demented bird’s
improve my current work ethic.
nest of hair atop my meagre frame. But if you do find
The next query I’m often posed with, mainly by my more
yourself in those final few hours before submission time,
level headed peers, is: “How do you deal with the stress of
whether it’s the first time or the thousandth, just remem-
doing everything at the last possible second?” “How do you keep from going mad?”
ber these words of inebriated wisdom, once again from Bukowski: “Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morn-
Well it’s simple really. I don’t!
ing and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh
Everyone’s favourite dirty old uncle of poetry, Hank
inside, remembering all the times you've felt that way.”
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Ninz’ Top Five Procrastination Tips NINA FOX
If you can't face your stack of readings, Nina has your back with her best procrastination advice.
26
Procrastination is an art form. We’ve all done it, some
little bit, but I’ll definitely start study at 6:00 on the dot…”
more than others, and if you say you haven’t, you’re lying,
What utter bullshit. The next time you look at the clock its
bucko. Many of us have had years of experience to hone in
half past midnight, you’re scrolling through an instagram
on our best procrastination techniques, spending so many
called ‘Genuinely Stoked Goats’ mildly giggling, and have
hours doing it that by now we could have gotten a PhD in
accomplished an overwhelming fuck all. This procrastina-
Procrastination with a Major in Doing Jackshit once over.
tion technique can be used repeatedly, for example once
So why not just embrace it? Its inevitable you will do it this
you’ve missed your first hourly starting point you tell your-
study season, so why not really get to know the inner pro-
self you will start the next hour, but hey guess what? You
crastinator within? Here I will divulge my personal favorites
don’t. Watch yourself become insanely OCD with this top
for avoiding the fuck tonne of work you have.
tip.
1. Clean your room (or do any other chore that you would
3. Facebook: To say it’s the modern students’ kryptonite
never do otherwise): I find this to be my go-to procrastina-
is an understatement. But I really don’t know why. Yes,
tion technique, telling myself that I couldn’t possibly study
sometimes you can get meaningful information out of your
in a messy environment. It’s never a small tidy when you’re
procrastination session, like when you stalk the shit out of
procrastinating either, it usually becomes an all-out spring
people’s Facebook pages. I personally enjoy drawing deep
clean resulting in a possible garage sale at the end. I find
into the archives of high school dropouts and seeing where
that during study time I embody a 1950’s housewife; vacu-
they are now and what they’re up to. ‘Oh look, she’s preg-
uming, clearing out my wardrobe, making my bed and even
nant, how… nice.’ But predominantly Facebook is actually
hand washing clothes. So if you wish to occupy around
pretty fucking boring. Procrastinators will find themselves
1-2 hours with procrastination I suggest you make your
scrolling down their home page and refreshing for hours
room as immaculate as possible. If you require a lengthier
and hours, with no change except for maybe someone lik-
avoidance of study, perhaps go through your flat fridge and
ing a dry as fuck meme or tagging their mate in a picture of
dispose of all foods growing mould and other infestations.
a four pack of Vodka Smirnoff’s entitled ‘tag a friend who
2. The ‘I’ll start on the hour’ gag: This is another personal
couldn’t handle this.’ The best part about procrastinating on
fave, where you look at the time and see its 5:43 so you
Facebook is that it turns hours into seconds. One moment
say to yourself “Hey, I’ll have a geeze on Facebook for a
you just want to briefly check up on the home page, next
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moment you are going through tagged photos of yourself
entertainment. You won’t even remember that you have an
in year 11 looking like an absolute muppet while trying to
exam tomorrow once you start flicking through your Tinder
feature your alcoholic beverage for the added rebellion
candidates. I don’t know what it’s like for males, but for you
dimension. See how off topic you can get? It’s contagious.
female procrastinators you will spend hours swiping left
4. Gym for extensive amounts of time: I know you loathe
(that’s declining for you Tinder amateurs) through hundreds
exercise at the moment, but trust me, once study week
of Bogans. This will lead you to enter a state of mind-numb-
rolls around you will have the gym regime of a profes-
ing judgment where you give each candidate approximately
sional athlete. Instead of starting that assignment that’s
2 seconds to prove their worth. This will occasionally be
due tomorrow, you will leap at the chance to hit the tread-
interrupted by a truly outstanding Bogan, who has a photo
mill. Agonizing squats will become beautifully painless,
of their abs as their profile picture. This means you have
with each one consuming more and more time away from
to show all your flatmates to have a cheeky laugh at just
your books. What once used to be an annoying routine
how moronic some people truly are. There really should be
will become your passion, with 1 hour workouts becom-
a setting where you can filter out people who make their
ing drawn further and further out until eventually you find
cars their profile pictures, but that’s a whole other article
“THE NEXT TIME YOU LOOK AT THE CLOCK ITS HALF PAST MIDNIGHT, YOU’RE SCROLLING THROUGH AN INSTAGRAM CALLED ‘GENUINELY STOKED GOATS’ MILDLY GIGGLING, AND HAVE ACCOMPLISHED AN OVERWHELMING FUCK ALL.”
your car’s been clamped for taking the car park too long.
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in itself. Even more rarely you stumble upon someone you
Surveys should be conducted to measure the correlation
know, so you can then procrastinate some time away by
between study week and students ‘gains,’ because I reckon
deciding whether to ‘heart’ them or not, depending on how
we are going to be seeing a large percentage of steroid
awkward the situation could get.
induced procrastinators around campus pretty soon. This
I hope these top tips really help you out with how you
tip is twofold, because once people start gyming more they
choose to do sweet fuck all this study season, as you can
will start talking about it more. So be prepared to spend
see there are multitudes of ways to avoid and ignore all
countless hours refreshing Instagram to find images of pro-
responsibility in your life. Maybe pick a tip and get really
crastinating gym buffs taking selfies of their new lats or abs.
good at it, such as cleaning your room so well that your
5. Tinder: It’s a newbie to the realms of procrastination,
clothes are separated by colour. Or come up with your own
but it really does do the trick. If you haven’t got the app,
weird ways to consume time, such as starting a waterco-
get it. Not for the purposes of finding a potential ‘per-
lour painting. Let your own personal procrastination flair
fect match,’ no, don’t be silly. But rather for the limitless
come out, after all, it is an art form. You’re not gonna study
hours it will consume with its superficial and judgmental
that much anyway, we’re students after all.
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FOF
A chilled out ending to your massive semester.
f*#% off friday AKA
FINISHING ON FRIDAY
4.00pm ONWARDS AT BAR101
Free food and MORE OPEN TO ALL WAIKATO STUDENTS 18+
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to power. First Years, please settle down, it was stupid. 3. John Key. Key isn’t finished yet, but when he is, he’ll be remembered, quite accurately, as the Smiling Assassin who sold everything to anyone. His politics might appear new, but they’re actually reminiscent of the nineteenth century. If he gets a third term, get ready to do the time warp, m’kay? 2. David Lange. Lange was all style and no substance; Shane Jones sans the misogyny. The fact that he’s best remembered for making us ‘nuclear-free’ and smelling uranium on someone’s breath speaks volumes. Also, he gave the green light to something called Rogernomics. 1. Robert Muldoon. Most people would agree Muldoon is the worst, although he’s hardly the arch-villain some make him out to be. Apart from nearly bankrupting the country and paving the way for Rogernomics, Muldoon scrapped Labour’s compulsory savings scheme – which would be worth billions today – in favour of funding superannuation out of taxes. Safe to say, he leaves the competition in the dust. The Best 5. Francis Bell. Bell was Prime Minister for only two weeks in 1925. As far as I’m aware, those two weeks were uneventful and devoid of any radical interference in the lives of others. He then handed the reins over to someone else, because he didn’t want to be Prime Minister. Today’s politicians would do well to emulate him.
THE BEST AND THE WORST Politics Ryan Wood
4. Gordon Coates. Coates was Bell’s successor. A veteran of the Great War, Coates spoke Maori and had New Zealand’s best interests at heart. He was, notably, loyal to the country’s people over his own party. In fact, his unwillingness to be more ideological probably contributed to his brief spell in the top job. 3. John Ballance. Ballance was one of the founders of the Liberal Party, New Zealand’s first political party. He believed
Since it’s the end of semester, I thought I’d celebrate with a special collectors’ edition of this column. So here are the top five best and worst New Zealand Prime Ministers, because hey, lists are popular. And remember, they’re entirely subjective, just like everything else in the world.
in Maori land rights and women’s suffrage, the latter of which was achieved by his government. He died before he could see his vision fully realised, but laid the groundwork for the future welfare state. 2. Julius Vogel. Vogel was responsible for accelerating nineteenth century New Zealand’s development by attracting
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The Worst
settlers and borrowing to fund the expansion of infrastructure.
5. Helen Clark. Clark’s tenure as Prime Minister involved an
He also centralised government which helped to shape the
unprecedented degree of social engineering and fiddling
colony into a country. He also – gloriously – wrote science
with New Zealand’s ‘identity’. Furthermore, her government,
fiction, something most of his successors would be better
despite boasting numerous surpluses, left the cupboards
off doing.
bare by the time the Recession rolled around. Like Key and
1. Michael Joseph Savage. Savage was the first Labour Prime
Muldoon, she became increasingly unpleasant with each term
Minister and fundamentally the only good one. He was
in power.
responsible for creating New Zealand’s welfare state, which at
4. Jenny Shipley. Shipley, aside from being our first female
the time meant a hand-up rather than a hand-out; a safety net
Prime Minister, was responsible for lowering the drinking age
rather than a hammock. He was so well-loved that his picture
from 20 to 18, and thus creating all of the problems which
hung in many New Zealand homes as a reminder of all he did.
have arisen from that short-sighted, desperate attempt to cling
No one else comes close; he’s untouchable.
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LET'S GET KINKY Aunty Slut
Dear Aunty Slut, How do I let my boyfriend know that I like kinky sex? (I don’t mean like, gimp masks and flaying and scat or anything, just, you know, a bit kinky.) How do I tell him I like to be held down a little, without him thinking I’ll be his subordinate in other areas of our relationship too? Also, he’s a bit of a straight laced dude, what if he’s not into it, or thinks I’m a crazy? - Unkinked and Unhappy Dear Unkinked and Unhappy, It’s completely normal to want to be dominated a bit in the bedroom, but also to be respected and treated as an equal in other areas of your life. Well, I hope so anyway, or I am totally screwed. If your dude thinks that if you like a bit of choking with your orgasms then your only desire is to live in the kitchen making him sammiches or cleaning the house then he’s a fuckwit. Until he demonstrates a complete lack of brains or character though, let’s give him some credit. Submission in the bedroom does not mean submission everywhere else. Aunty Slut recommends that you wind him up, get him fucking you in doggy style and really going for it then ask him to hit you. He’ll either comply with gusto, or get confused. Either way, it broaches the subject. But if your dude’s a bit of a wimp it might be best to start small. Ask him to pin your wrists above your head. Get him to pull your hair. Ask him to bite you. Bend over and ask him to decorate your rear with sexy handprints. If he baulks and doesn’t put enough force behind any of the above, use that lovely sexy word ‘harder’ until he does it properly. If that doesn’t get him in the mood, ask him again.
“IF YOUR DUDE THINKS THAT IF YOU LIKE A BIT OF CHOKING WITH YOUR ORGASMS THEN YOUR ONLY DESIRE IS TO LIVE IN THE KITCHEN MAKING HIM SAMMICHES OR CLEANING THE HOUSE THEN HE’S A FUCKWIT.”
If you’re worried that your guy is going to think less of you for wanting your hair pulled or your ass slapped, you need to talk to him about it, because it sounds to me like you’re uncomfortable asking him to fulfil you sexually. Whether this is because you’re worried he’s going to judge you or because you secretly judge yourself is irrelevant- give those fears a middle finger and embrace the kink. Communicate, be safe and revel in a bit of painful pleasure. If nothing else please remember- if you like being bitten, having your ass spanked or your hair pulled it doesn’t mean you’re a whore. It means you’re fucking awesome. Disclaimer- make sure you’re into consensual, intimate and safe kink because if you’re taking cues from Fifty Shades then you need to be very, very careful. The shit storm contained within that trilogy is a text book abusive relationship- and full of scary messages about consent, romance, S&M and desire. (I could go on, but if you really need convincing that Fifty Shades is NOT to be aspired to, hit http://pervocracy.blogspot.co.nz/) Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz
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QUIET TIME The Foreign Invasion Melody Wilkinson
RUTHLESS OPINION Give a Shit Tee-Ship
It is that time of semester again when I abandon all friends and expect my family to fend for themselves for weeks on end. My daughter starts eating bags of chips for breakfast and I only notice on Wednesday night that her school uniform looks like she stole it from a homeless person. Then I realize I have not washed it since last week. I say these things to let you know that I am aware I am nuts but I can’t seem to contain the rage any longer. The next time I have to study late at the library, which means missing out on time with my kid, and someone decides that it is social hour on “THE QUIET AREA” floor I may lose all ability to maintain social decorum and start screaming. If you don’t know, from the great big billowing signs that say “THE QUIET AREA; Please respect others’ need for quiet,” this means I do not care what so-and-so did with John Doe. Surprisingly, I do not care that you are having a
When I sat down to write my first Give a Shit column I thought to myself self, what a radical way to ruffle some feathers… shake some cages… stir some people up… murder some dolphins… (I forget). And this semester has been one hell of a ride. Taking my opinion of what people should care about and posting it in a public forum has been both satisfying and daunting. But the thing that has had the biggest impact on me is the fact that it has stirred in others the courage to share their opinions. While I am one hell of an opinionated prick, (it’s OK I am, don’t try and tell me I’m not, stop it, cut it out this is serious), I do (believe it or not) really believe that others should also be privy to this sort of opportunity. Everybody should be able to voice their concerns, call bullshit on something or yell profanities for no good reason. Since writing my first Give a Shit column on the
“SURPRISINGLY, I DO NOT CARE THAT
“EVERYBODY SHOULD BE ABLE
YOU ARE HAVING A DILEMMA ABOUT
TO VOICE THEIR CONCERNS, CALL
THE WAY YOU WERE ASKED OUT TO
BULLSHIT ON SOMETHING OR YELL
THE PARTY AND YOU ARE JUST NOT
PROFANITIES FOR NO GOOD REASON.”
SURE IF YOU SHOULD GO BECAUSE OF THE TONE HE ASKED YOU WITH.”
Syrian crisis, I have been praised, abused and schooled, and I like to think that I’ve grown from this experience. But the most valuable thing I have taken from this is that you should always stand up for
dilemma about the way you were asked out to the party and you are just not sure if you should go because of the tone he asked you with. My favourite is when you talk at full volume about how you can’t be bothered getting all your assignments done and taking an IC and you have been thinking about heading home for a half hour now. If this is your plan WHY ARE YOU IN THE LIBRARY? The thing that strikes me as odd is the volume of the talkers on the quiet floor. Because there are many people like me, heads down, working away, and then there are you guys and your voices just carry in the silence we are all trying to maintain. Don’t you feel a bit weird or even self conscious? Or don’t you worry that your volume indicates you are giving a speech, and if you are giving a speech to all these people, is that really what you want to say? I mean the floor is yours literally! Wouldn’t you rather give a world changing speech instead of firmly portraying yourself as a the stereotypical idiot? I am in the library because I am trying to get ALL of my assignments done because I want a good grade. If you are going to mess this up at least let me have your best stuff so I can leave with something to ponder other than your completely shallow view of the world. maydaydownunder.blogspot.co.nz.
what you believe in (cue Disney music… preferably something without Selena Gomez). Be opinionated, and be ruthless with injustice. I have said some hard-headed shit, shit that has got me in trouble but I believe in being able to express my concerns with society in my own voice. Although I am learning how to be considerate while doing so, I still have a long way to go. While the love has outweighed the hate, I will defend to the death the right of those who expressed their hate to do so. They have exercised their fundamental human right of free speech, and while I may have contended in sparring matches from time to time, that is not to say I do not respect their right to have a differing opinion. I write what I write, in the style that I write, because I aim to stir you up. I have found that the effective energies drawn from me being an opinionated asshole in my columns have brought forth people’s real opinions on matters ranging from politics to war, and whether they agree with me or not, it has been an amazing experience seeing that the human spirit can still poke its head up from behind an Iphone. We need to give a shit that everybody has a voice and it deserves to be heard. Sometimes it’s not easy, and yes, if you put your head above the trenches you will cop a face full of shrapnel from time to time. But if you keep it up long enough you may just get the chance to see the human beings on the other side of no-man’s-land.
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ONE OH ONE, GET TO AKL SON! Carnage Jules Craft
Bar 101 is one of the key ingredients of the foundation
who were significantly on level or managed to sneak on
of Waicat culture. Even if your attendance had switched
a few cheeky cindy’s it was an alright trip. I suppose you
to something more mature like House or Furnace, you can’t
would call it mellow, however, I did see one man piss in
stand there and tell me you have never once taken a guilty
the stairwell next to the door, and another man find an
peek inside 101 for a quick hit of shameless nostalgia. I
interesting new cause of prostate cancer when he smoked
always hold 101 close to my heart so when I heard a sister
a durry out of his rear end.
club was going to be opening up in Auckland I immediately
We arrived fresh and flustered in Auckland where we
lost my shit. I couldn’t stop thinking about how cool it was
had an hour to smash our bar tab before the bar opened at
that a part of our city was starting to stomp out its own
10pm. It started off slow but by about midnight the place
grounds up in AKL. The night kicked off at Bar 101 Hamilton, where 50 lucky
was in full crank. The bar staff couldn’t stop moving for all the thirsty students wanting a taste of a $4 vault.
characters had congregated for free drinks and pizza. This
Getting back to the hostel at 4am in the morning I was
was the frother team, a mash up of stunning 101 wait-
at a loss. The rooms were a mess, everyone was sleep-
resses, top spenders, and a bunch of Waikato students
ing everywhere, and 602 smelt awful stanky. It was as if
who enjoy the taste of d-floor fever. Louis and I were lucky
there had been two simultaneous takedowns with no open
enough to be in charge of filling the student seats and we’d
windows. That was that, I couldn’t handle it. A couple of the
just like to throw out a big thank you to all those who came
boys had snuck down to the ferry terminal at the end of
up with us on the bus, and throw up gigantic props to those
Queen Street, so I went for a wee jog and caught up with
who didn’t get on with us but still went for up for a froth. As
them. We ended up taking a 6am leisurely ferry journey to
corny as it sounds, it was cool to see Waikato and Auckland
Devonport. Actually quite a nice place and the bakery there
students mixing it up in peace and harmony.
makes a big tasty breakfast. We were back in time for the
The bus ride although epic was difficult. Those who had
bus to leave at 10am. CHURRRRRRR
not preloaded before arriving sobered quickly but for those
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UCLA, A CASE STUDY. Alix Abroad Alix Higby
The unfortunate has occurred, and I have made a sudden return
5. A lot of kids speak more than one language.
to the land of the long white soggy cloud. It took two 5”2 females
6. There are still racist people everywhere.
to secure my luggage, but I still managed to sneak a couple of In n’
In other words, there is a lot that Waikato students can learn from
Out sauce packets through customs and make it back to the mighty
the study of other students. I, for one, would love to see a more
Waikato.
powerful student voice and better parties. Also, why is our mascot
Despite my abrupt departure, I have gathered valuable data about student culture from my time immersed in the UCLA field. I present a brief case study of Los Angeles student life.
count to ten in Maori? As I began to miss NZ more and more, I realised that I was proud
Discoveries of Great Import
of my day-to-day kiwi life and I could articulate that to the people I
1. It is perfectly okay to scooter to class; in fact this helps with your
met, but why didn’t it happen sooner?
cool-nerd/environment-warrior factor.
American: “What’s cool about NZ?”
2. Pride in your schooling is neither frowned upon or laughed at but
Me: “Hahahahahahahaha”
revered and appreciated by both faculty and classmates. This may
There are things about NZ and UoW that you cannot find anywhere
be due to American separatist ideology, or the fact that their mascot
else, and WE ARE ACTUALLY COOL WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
is more frightening than a dairy cow.
BEACHES. MOUNTAINS. CHEAP(er) HEALTHCARE.
3. Disturbed sleep patterns are common and encouraged. If you
If there is one thing you can learn from studying other people, it’s
don’t have a sleeping disorder of some kind, you wear the mark of
to appreciate the things that you have and to think less about those
a foreigner. This actually isn’t a bad thing either cos foreigners are
you don’t. Be proud of your accomplishments and the work that you
exotic and cool and don’t eat Twinkies or juice cleanse (how weirdly
do, you can only feel embarrassed or ashamed if you allow it. UCLA
fascinating).
kids were more involved and motivated than most of the people I
4. Everybody loves a volunteer. If you write for student media you are
know here, and they were happier for it.
awesome and interesting and have to come to this rooftop party, not “oh... [Dyslexic monkeys could edit better than you]”
34
a cow and not something badass like a taniwha? Why can I only
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Just don’t get me started on body image, mental health or binge drinking though… I was living near Beverly Hills after all.
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FASHION PEOPLE YOU SHOULD KNOW A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson
Anna Wintour. The editor-in-chief of American Vogue, Anna Wintour
and the main influence for chain stores. You know those kaleido-
is regarded as the most terrifying woman in fashion. It has been
scope-esque t-shirts that are everywhere? Blame him.
reported that making eye contact with Ms Wintour may or may not result in permanent blindness and/or a burst haemorrhoid. Karl Lagerfeld. Karl is the head designer and creative director of Chanel. He’s that bitch who asks you if you realise how many
Alexander McQueen. Alexander McQueen was the only truly ground-breaking designer to be born after 1960. His tragic suicide in 2010 was the first time I saw a grown man cry – I looked in the mirror.
calories are in your deep fried Moro bar, the fashion industry's ver-
Carine Roitfeld. Not only “the queen of porn-chic”, Carine is also
sion of "do you even lift?" A reformed fat person, Karl now takes the
the former editor-in-chief of Vogue Paris and an activist for model
limelight with such misogynist and fat-phobic remarks as "Prints are
diversity in fashion, once stating on the topic, “I think beauty can
for middle-aged women with weight problems." Miuccia Prada. Designer of Prada and Miu Miu, Miuccia is not
be everywhere.” With her bed hair and smudged eyeliner, she is the main culprit for bringing sex into Vogue.
only the most important, but also the most down-to-earth woman
Hedi Slimane. Hedi was the dude who transformed the glam-
in the industry. She is the sweet to the fashion industry's sour,
orous Yves Saint Laurent label into the more commercial Saint
the warm pumpkin soup to the fashion industry's crusty bread...
Laurent Paris, spawning a hipster trend of wearing ‘Ain't Laurent
You get the jist.
Without Yves’ branded clothing. He resembles a turtle.
Marc Jacobs. Marc Jacobs is the head designer for Marc Jacob’s
Anna Dello Russo. Anna is the nutty editor-at-large for Vogue
label, Marc Jacobs. Marc Jacobs enjoys getting tattoos of Marc
Japan, though she is best known for her wacky street fashion taken
Jacobs, appearing in campaigns for Marc Jacobs, and having boy-
directly off the runway. She enjoys wearing fruit such as cherries,
friends who look like Marc Jacobs.
watermelons and pineapples on her head.
Riccardo Tisci. Riccardo is the hot creative director of Givenchy
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BRIDGE ON THE RIVER PIE Life of Pie The Pie Men
In our brief pie based review history we have never
very nature of it compels you to share one. Therein lies the
come across a pie so bad that it made us question all
problem. Once you cut a sausage roll open you can literally
that we knew to be true and whole in the world. That
see how the sausage is made. We looked directly into the
was before we went to the Hillcrest Café and Bakery for a
vortex and it is clear to us now that there is no god. Only
potato top pie and a sausage roll. Located next to a vet on
one of the perfectly sliced thirds were sampled and the
Cambridge Road, perhaps the biggest crime of this poorly
others were deservedly trashed. Such waste has not been
spaced high turnover business is that everything apart from
experienced since the collapse of the Soviet Bloc.
the pies looked good. Price: If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. Photogenic: The pie looked both jaundiced and like we would become jaundiced eating it. Its yellowy glob of cheese looked like urine stained trousers at the RSA and it failed in the ultimate test: the potato top didn’t even cover the pie. Crust: Firm and unforgiving like a stepdad. Also punishing and full of secrets, like a stepdad. Meat: (Insert easy next door to the vet joke here). The mince to potato ratio was way too small and while we don’t want to make the vet joke it did taste like a mix of tyre tread and children’s tears. Would we eat this pie if we were stoned? We wouldn’t eat this pie under threat of genocide. Final Verdict: Never again
Pie Related Interview. This week the Pie Men sat down with former radio show host and current desperate house husband Mark Bunting. During the 2013 local body election Bunty hit the streets promising a free pie for every resident despite the fact his name wasn’t on the ballot. If only it had been, we may have been spared the wrath of Julie “Caesar” Hardaker II who presumably would have returned to her previous career as ‘the Briscoes lady’. Favourite pie – A pepper mince pie from Jimmy’s in Roxburgh, Central Otago. It’s essentially heaven in a bag of pastry. Favourite local pie: A John’s pie. It’s super cheap, and kind of like an Oxford pie but better. Butter chicken vs Mince and cheese: Mince and cheese every time. I do enjoy the odd butter chicken pie, but the smell comes out of your pores for about a week and a half!
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Why Sausage Rolls are Communist. While at the Hillcrest
Knife and fork or with your hands? I’m definitely a hand
Bakery our eye was caught by a Giant Sausage Roll. There
job kind of guy, as it were. If I’m feeling luxurious, or it’s
exists a communist paradigm with the giant sausage roll
something special, I might get out the knife and fork for a
because in all honesty you can eat one by yourself but the
sit down experience.
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Blind Dat�
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/ SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
XX
XY
THE LADY'S EXPERIENCE
THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE
I was so worried about the whole thing just being an
Well I’ve learnt two things. 1) I’m shit at pulling. 2)
awkward mess, but luckily enough that was just me.
Girls are strange. Sitting down with this stunningly
There wasn't a dull moment from the second I sat
gorgeous woman I was feeling fresh to death. I’d
down. Long Island Iced Teas made the conversation
scrounged some clean pants off my flatty, stolen a
flow and turn in some strange directions, I probably
button up from another, and even managed to find
need to hear the riding an elephant story one more
me some suitable shoes. Our conversation flow was
time. I couldn't have been set up with a sweeter guy,
unstoppable which was good because I was fucking
we talked and drank and managed to find out that
nervous. I had told way too many people I was going
we had enough in common to avoid any awkward
on a blind date and the stupid hype I’d created had me
silences. But honestly, who orders Pork Belly? I would
shaking in my boots. 10/10 would bang this beautiful
have preferred a dessert but we managed to destroy
lady. 7 tattoos, unidentifiable ethnicity, and a leather
that bar tab quite early. Some good advice to anyone,
jacket. It was like the ingredients to a porno where I
don't bring all your friends along for the date, I left for
get taken down by a female member of a biker gang.
2 seconds and there were 3 new guys at my table!
Too bad it was more like first year where I got scolded
They soon disappeared after they realised I hadn't just
by any girl one year above me because I was “too
walked out though the date was great, the guy was
young to be talking to [her].” All best advice about
even better and I hope he finds me on Facebook.
woman has been to avoid talking about age. Sadly it kept being brought up. All I can yell to everyone out there, age is but a number you could be 100 I’ll still take you down if you play your cards right. The convo’s we were having were gold though, loved how kick back she was, had heaps of laughs and I got pretty maggoted. During the entire dinner I was thinking of ways to get her home with me. In the end I just felt like a massive predator and psyshced myself out. Sent her on her way with a lovely walk to her ride.
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PHOTOGRAPH: HAKINAKINA 2013
nexus magazine
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE STUDENTS' UNION PRESIDENT AARON LETCHER
— Last week our Vice-President Maori, Andrew Marama-Lyon – known
affiliated Roopu on campus, the School of Maori and Pacific Development,
to most as Simba, tendered his resignation to the board effective
and the PVC Maori Office.
immediately. In his letter of resignation Simba cited the need to con-
However the role encompasses more than just a simple constitutional
centrate on his studies and his growing commitments in the music and
framework. The Vice-President Maori serves as a conduit to ensure that
production industry.
Maori voices are heard and represented, that Maori students are supported
For the WSU, the connection with our Maori community is one of the paramount functions we perform. As a representative students’ organisa-
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in all aspects of their education and most importantly that the culture and successes of Maori are celebrated and highlighted.
tion we recognise the unique presence and vibrant culture that our Maori
An opportunity exists to create a long term plan in partnership with
students contribute to the campus and would be happy to discuss our
the University, the Maori Roopu and the community to build a long term
vision for the role with anyone thinking about applying.
vision for Maori representation. It’s a challenge that excites me and it is
The question has to be asked, where are we going with Maori represen-
my sincerest hope that we can appeal to some candidates who will work
tation? To be clear, when I say “we” I don’t just mean the WSU, I mean
to develop something that could be a legacy for Maori students in genera-
the entire student body.
tions to come.
The constitutional responsibilities of the Vice President Maori are to pro-
If you feel you could help our organisation meet these requirements, or
vide a strategic Maori voice in our decision making processes, to provide
you have any thoughts on Maori representation on campus, then I would
leadership in advocating for Maori, to provide opportunities for members
love to hear from you. Email President@wsu.org.nz
of the WSU board to engage with Kaupapa Maori, and to represent our
In the interim I will be taking on the Maori representational elements
association at Maori forums both locally and nationally. There is also an
of the role myself, and second term WSU Director Roy Mazorodze will be
expectation that the elected person will maintain strong links with all of our
taking on the administrative and Director Management aspects.
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AMBER IS GOOD AT HER SHIT YO!
I’M AN APPRENTICE – WHERE DO I STAND?
AMBER CARDALE
—
MELISA MARTIN FROM YWRC
—
This week I thought I’d show you some of the feedback we have received over the last year from students that have used the advocacy service at the Waikato Students’ Union. After every case closes we send each student a feedback form to fill out. This form is optional
CareersNZ tells you everything you might need to know if you’re contemplating undertaking
and anonymous, however if they do fill out the form it does let us know what we are doing right and what we need to work on. All feedback it greatly appreciated.
an apprenticeship, or if an apprenticeship is a requirement of your studies, so I won’t blab on unnecessarily.
I meet with students in all sorts of situations ranging from ‘I have no money’, ‘I am unable to do my assignments because…’ to ‘ I am having problems with Studylink’.
However, I met a young fella this week in his last
If you are going through a situation that you aren’t so sure how to approach then come and
year of high school. He’s in classes three days of
talk to us. We’re free, confidential and independent from the university. If we are unable
the week, and working on a farm the other two
to help we usually know the person you need to talk to.
days. His teacher’s query to me was, ”Should he be getting paid for the time he works each week?” In general the answer to this question would be yes. He should definitely be getting paid for any work that he is doing. This ‘yes’ comes with conditions though. The high school he is studying at offers a conjoined study programme with a nearby tertiary education provider, which allows students to study an apprenticeship part-time for three years, with the third year coming at no cost to the high school or student. For that reason, it is possible the free year of study is considered reimbursement for practical time working. However,that would have to be clearly stipulated in the employment agreement,
Overall, how satisfied are you with your experience with the WSU Advocacy Service? 100% of respondants 80 60 40 20 0
or official teaching curriculum. Should that not be the case however, and the student has gained 40 or more NZQA credits by the end of his studies, he is entitled to the minimum training wage, which is $11.40 an hour for the entirety of his apprenticeship. It’s important to remember that this only applies if the student is between 16 and 19. Anyone can study towards a New Zealand Apprenticeship and be paid the minimum training wage, but if you are over 20 you must earn 60 credits by the end of each year to qualify. If you have been employed somewhere, for example Pak ‘n’ Save, and your boss wants to pay you the training wage while you learn the ropes... they just can’t because you’re not likely to receive a shelf-stacking qualification worth 60 credits at the end, are you!
Contact: 0800 AT YWRC, ywrc@xtra.co.nz.
Overall, how do you rate the effectiveness of the Advocate you saw? 100% of respondants 80 60 40 20 0 Completely Useless
Very Approachable and Helpful
Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz
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NOTICES
Vacancy – WSU Board of Directors WSU@WSU.ORG.NZ
• Events and activities.
many different ethnic groups. In this talk I'll
• Research, consultation and focus groups.
review evidence evaluating the extent to which
• Office time.
the ORE is due to differences in perceptual processing for own-race and other-race faces. In
There is an honorarium payable for this position.
particular, I'll consider whether the ORE can be
Other rewards include:
explained by differences in "holistic" or "configural"
• Fun and good times at our various events and
processing of face features.
activities. Due to the recent resignation of the WSU VicePresident Maori, Simba Marama-Lyon, there is a vacancy on the WSU Board.
• Satisfaction of helping other people. • Experience of committee meetings, research and focus groups.
Pursuant to rule 17.2 of the WSU constitution,
• Meeting some great new people.
when a vacancy occurs during the course of the
• Looks good on your CV.
year the Board has the power to appoint a suitably qualified member of the Association to the
this could be for you. If you have any questions or would like further
• Representing the WSU at Maori forums. • Providing opportunities for members of the WSU Board to engage with kaupapa Maori.
8TH- 9TH JUNE
If you are active in our Maori student community
position. The duties of the Vice-President Maori include:
The NZ Careers Expos
information please contact us at wsu@wsu.org.nz or come and see us at the Student Union Building or Level Zero. Please submit your expression of interest by Friday 13th June to president@wsu.org. nz or drop it in to the WSU office.
For young people seeking career advice the Careers Expo is the best opportunity to get face to face with recruiters, tertiary and training providers and advisors to help you plan your vocation pathway. Tickets are free and it will be held at Claudelands Arena.
• Ensuring that the Associations strategic plans take into account the view of Maori. • Providing leadership to the Board in advocating for Maori issues and concerns. • Undertaking official duties in the President’s absence. If you are thinking of putting your name forward it is worth asking yourself: Am I committed to the broad vision and mission of the WSU? Can I
Professor William Hayward
Time: 7:00pm
Board member? If you are appointed you will need to have around
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Location: Dr John Gallagher Concert Chamber, Date: Friday 6 June 2014
Gallagher Academy of Performing Arts. $5 at the
Time: 12:10pm - 1:00pm
door or free for students with a valid ID.
Location: Room J.1.10
• Regular Board meetings.
The Other-Race Effect in Face Perception.
• Preparation and reading time.
The other-race effect (ORE) is pervasive across
nexusmag.co.nz
FRIDAY 6TH JUNE
UNIVERSITY OF AUCKLAND
contribute the time necessary to be an effective
20 hours a week for:
Annual Opera Aria Contest
Send any notices to editor@nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
TOMATØ SOUP Cooking for Students Zac Lyon
I’m going to continue the warming recipe trend with another soup this week. People who complain there isn’t enough time to cook or to throw together a quick meal are lying. This recipe is pretty damn quick, easy, cheap for us students and tastes bloody good! You don’t have to use fresh tomatoes, especially in winter when they cost an arm and both legs to buy, tinned tomatoes will do the job. Served with some warm bread, it’s party time! (Not party in your pants time – that comes a bit later).
Ingredients 1 medium onion diced 3 cloves of garlic diced 1 large carrot - chopped 1-2 sticks of celery - chopped 400 g can of tinned tomatoes 2 Tbs of tomato paste/sauce 4 ripe tomatoes - chopped roughly (or two more cans of tinned tomatoes) bunch of fresh basil salt and pepper dash of balsamic vinegar
Directions 01_ Fry the onion, garlic, carrot, celery together in a large saucepan. 02_ Once softened, add in tomatoes (both tinned and
fresh) with tomato paste.
03_ Throw in basil, salt and pepper and vinegar. 04_ Simmer for 15 mins, taste and season. 05_ You can blend it with a stick wizzer or benchtop
blender to your desired consistency. If it’s too thick,
add some water.
06_ Serve.
I told you it was bloody easy to throw together. Stop complaining you don’t have enough time, and make some bloody soup. Peace. Head over to Cooking4Students facebook page or youtube channel to more recipes.
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Codewords
Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.
KenKen
Sequence
The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the
Which of the following fig-
upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target num-
ures is the odd one out?
ber” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5,
A
your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)
B
C
Syllabic
1. Faux pas: 2.Open arena:
From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.
3. Sockeye salmon: 4. Brain tumor:
a - a - a - am - ar - ben - bi - bu - ceph - dha -
D
5. Made clear:
dic - e - ed - ed - ee - en - hock - hol - ill - kan - ko - lat - lin - lo - ly - ma - man - mis - ner - pau - phi - step - tar - ter - the - tic - tion - u
6. Tall flowery plant: 7. A sheikdom: 8. Blessing: 9. Impolite: E 10. Canvas cover:
Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,
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nexusmag.co.nz
HARD
MEDUIM
column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.
EASY
Sudoku
nexus magazine
Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.
9 letter words headhunts 8 letter words headhunt 7 letter words handset haunted shunted 6 letter words daunts deaths hashed hasted hunted hushed nudest sauted sundae tushed 5 letter words adust anted ashed dates daunt deans death dents duets dunes hades hadst hands hated heads nudes sadhu saned sated sedan shade shend stand stead tends thuds tuned 4 letter words ands dash date dean dens dent dues duet dune duns dunt dust ends hade hand head hued nude sand send shad shed
Crossword
stud sued tads taed teds
Solve the clues and fill in the words.
tend thud used
Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.
Across
38. Annul (6)
77. Unsightly (4)
11. Placed a bet (7)
51. Detestable (6)
1. Zest (5)
42. Potion (6)
78. Pugilist (5)
12. Graded (5)
52. Emblem (5)
4. Wooden shoe (5)
43. Ornamentation (10)
80. Harsh (8)
13. Ruthlessness (7)
53. Restricted (7)
7. Overseas (6)
44. Underwater projectile(7)
85. Three-sided polygons(9)
17. Ironic (3)
54. Population count (6)
10. Accolades (6)
46. Completely enveloping(7)
86. Fruit grove (7)
22. Enlisted person (7)
56. Writing style (5)
14. Deadlock (7)
47. Tooth (7)
87. Hermit (7)
23. Dwarfed ornamental tree(6)
58. Ennui (6)
15. Cradlesong (7)
49. Relating to deer (7)
88. Remit in advance (6)
24. Reverberated (6)
60. Leg joint (4)
16. Abolished (9)
55. Wander from a direct
89. Confused (6)
25. Rostrum (4)
65. Captivate (7)
18. Guidance (8)
course (7)
90. Precise (5)
27. Mythical beast (7)
66. Moves forward (8)
19. Ire (5)
57. Exact opposite (10)
91. Type of precipitation (5)
30. Mother-of-pearl (5)
68. Musical passage (7)
20. Hexahedron (4)
59. Kudos (6)
Down
31. Bar (6)
72. Gourmet (7)
21. Rubicund (5)
61. Embellished (6)
1. Profits (5)
32. Revenge (11)
73. Shut (6)
24. Lured (7)
62. Matured (4)
2. Perspicacious (7)
33. Haggard (5)
74. Coerced (6)
26. Burden (4)
63. Personal beliefs (8)
3. Hinder (8)
35. Dialect (5)
75. Part of a play (3)
28. Adult male swan (3)
64. Lairs (4)
4. Austere (5)
39. Anteater (8)
76. Lift (5)
29. Scholars (8)
67. Outlined (8)
5. Unguent (4)
40. Perservering (8)
79. Delete (5)
34. Ice pellets (4)
69. Play on words (3)
6. Claw (5)
41. Speak (5)
81. Soft cloth cap (5)
36. Undomesticated
70. Fiend (4)
7. Astounded (6)
45. Anxiety (5)
82. Expel (5)
creatures (8)
71. Eternal (7)
8. Beams (4)
48. Aperture (7)
83. Young horse (4)
37. Swindle (4)
75. Strong and sharp (5)
9. Calculator (6)
50. Callow (5)
84. Notion (4)
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SOUP KITCHEN 9 - 10AM EVERY WEEKDAY AT LEVEL ZERO.
DONATIONS OF CANNED FOOD WELCOME.
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