N.13 / V.46
nexus magazine
EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT
CONTENTS
EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ DESIGN
—
HAYLIE GRAY
_03
Editorial
_04
Lettuce to the Editor
_05
News
_08
News from the University
_09
Sport
_10
Ridiculist & Vox Pops
_11
Reviews
_14
Honest Matt
_15
Horoscopes & Playlist
_16
Auteur
_17
Arts and Stuff
_18
Travel
_20
Spark Festival of Media, Arts
& Design
INSTAGRAM @KATIEROSECLAUSEN
_22
A Vivid ReO
PHOTOGRAPHY
_24
How to Choose a Font for
your Assignment
_26
The Society for Art Fusion
MANAGING EDITOR JAMES RAFFAN CONTRIBUTORS SPORTS GUY DR RICHARD SWAINSON HP JULES CRAFT MATT HICKS BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF AUNTY SLUT ZAC LYON MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE RYAN WOOD AARON LETCHER THE PIE MEN KARL GUETHERT WAIREHU GRANT RENÉE BOYER-WILLISSON DARCIE ALEX BARLOW HAYLEE LOUISE HUTT SWEET PAINTED LADY LAUREN BARNARD LAURENCE MCLEAN COVER ART KATIE ROSE CLAUSEN FACEBOOK.COM/KATIEROSECLAUSEN
WAIREHU GRANT SHIFTING LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHY ANDRE KONG LOUISE HUTT ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ OFFICES GROUND FLOOR
_28 Columns _38
The President's Column
_39
Advice
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_40 Notices
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_41 Recipe
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_42 Puzzles
nexus magazine
EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT
—
I
t’s ReO week, which means most first years are already drunk,
make a difference to run for the board of directors. You’ll have some
most second years have a fridge-full waiting and most third
stiff competition this year though- my pet sheep Victoria is running for
years are totally and completely over it. I’m not sure what
President. She’s committed to a campaign of warmer jackets, socks
thesis students do yet, but if last weekend is anything to go by, we get slizzard, take all our clothes off and dance with fire. Or maybe that’s just me.
and gloves for all uni students, and she’s going to be hard to beat. Perhaps more importantly, the national elections are also looming. If you want to nut-punch John Key as much as I do (but don’t want to
We’ve got a packed line-up for you guys this Reo, both on campus
get arrested), then please make sure you’re enrolled to vote, and go
in our glorious H-town proper.
and DO it this election. I’m sure
We’re encouraging you all to
those orange covered dudes
‘Get In Our Van’ for a free ride
“IF YOU WANT TO NUT-PUNCH JOHN KEY
to town. (My boss tells me
AS MUCH AS I DO (BUT DON’T WANT TO
it’s to keep you safe and leave more money in your accounts
GET ARRESTED), THEN PLEASE MAKE SURE
to buy booze, but I’m just keen
YOU’RE ENROLLED TO VOTE...”
will be on campus at some point, but you can enrol online too. Nexus will be preparing you for the upcoming election in our usual fashion- a bunch of
to overhear some more of the
serious stuff in hilarious cloth-
crazy shit you all get up to
ing- so if you can’t bear to read
again.) On Tuesday night we’ve stolen a movie theatre, and you can “real” media on the subject, keep an eye out for our upcoming elecall come see What We Do in the Shadows with us for free- if you
tion specials.
dress up like a vampire. Get some fake fangs, get a trench coat and
University is a time of everyone ignoring what you have to say
some fake blood. Hell, get naked and roll around in glitter for all I care,
because you’re ‘just a student’. I say bollocks to that. You all have the
just make sure you get there! Check out the ReO programme for a
chance to make some real change this semester, stand up and be
full list of insanity, and get amongst it.
counted so that you have the right to complain if it all turns to shit.
But once the craziness of ReO subsides, we actually have some serious shit going down this semester. The WSU elections are loom-
Have a great ReO, drink copious amounts in a responsible manner and hopefully see you all out there.
ing, and we’re on the hunt for responsible-ish people who are keen to
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LETTUCE
nexus magazine
Blue Vs White RAP TO THE EDITOR - FINALE
Palestine. Afterall it is only Jews who have suffered like no people in the entire world. So anyone who disagrees is Anti-semitic. The indigenous people of Palestine can go... Second, I agree with the person when he says you are 'afraid of adding anything political'. Unfortunately, Nexus
The samurai's armor fractures,
IS full of juvenile crap. It is stuck at the anal stage. It's
while courage fights itself internally,
like 3rd form toilet joke. For a university mag, it is well
determination begins to falter and reveal itself externally.
below standard.
Razed villages becomes what Blue sees in his future,
I've heard people say you are an idiot, Rachael. They are
carrying battle scars like his whole bodies a suture.
wrong. I think you show potential and room for improve-
Blood begins forming like a tattoo, his mind then
ment. I am sure by end of 2nd semester you will have
becomes fearless,
improved Nexus.
emptying his ducts until his eyes become tearless. Sound barriers begin to break down, deflections resemble a mini-gun shooting, it was at this point in the battle Blue's determination started rebooting. Katana sparks katana, ringing blares immensely, eyes fused in a stare-down, adrenaline's pumping intensely. Survival down to a nanosecond decision, steel plated willpower becomes the only source of
Soccer isn’t Worse than Genocide... Just NOT A FAN OF SOCCER OR INVADING OTHER COUNTRIES
ammunition. Katana vibrations intensify, heart beats mirror a heavy hitting bass line, rebuttals carry enough gravity to start bending space time. The final clash measures in the megatons, as if it were battle-hammers they were heaving, generic blade-skill starts tearing the battle tapestry White is weaving. Blue's arm hammers upwards breaking the arterial connection, leaving White opened to a meticulous dissection. Katana connects to tissue, White overwhelmed by steel blurring, his soul begins to fracture realizing the gravity of the situation that's occurring. Snow soaked in red, Blue stands victorious, White's honor cut down from legendary to inglorious.
DISCLAIMER: Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its
I'm not Scared TIM DOTENZED
the first to admit I don’t know shit about sports but it was fun to watch and the early starts make it easy to wake and bake before a game starts. I’m watching with a couple of mates and laughing my arse off when they show the crowd and everyone is crying. I’m not a complete dickhead though so I do feel a little sad when you see the kids and the really old people crying. It was like someone ripped out their soul. But a 40 year old man crying because his team lost is just sad. My problem with the whole thing is that my flatmates girlfriend was around and she looked at all of us and said they should call the game off now half time, because it was “just mean” to the brazilans. It’s a stupid fucking sentiment but then she followed it up by saying if the Germans kept scoring goals it would be the WORST be kinda funny if she was doing it to be funny but she had no idea. That whole thing resulted in my other flatmate giving her a 30 minute lecture on germans invading countries. Her response was to say yeah but that happened a really long time ago. Also put a pub on campus that will let me buy a drink
lic scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compen-
Regarding the student complaining about you being
sate for lack of intelligence or coherency.
scared shitless about exposing the atrocities commit-
Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse
ted by Apartheid Israel. First, let this student know that
to publish any letter which breaches any
Israel zionist Jews can demolish anyone's home any-
law, is defamatory to any person, or con-
where in the world. Israel zionist Jews can kill anyone
tains threats of violence or hate speech.
they like if they get in the way of Israel confiscating all of
nexusmag.co.nz
was that fun mix of entertaining and heartbreaking. I’m
THING THEY COULD DO TO A COUNTRY. Which would
publication in Nexus and subsequent pub-
4
So I was watching the Brazil vs Germany game and it
without selling my liver to pay for it. I need my liver to drink, it a vicious cycle.
Got something to say? Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
NEWS
THE WSU HAS ALL ITS DIRECTORS THIS WEEK? JAMES RAFFAN
— The WSU appointed Stefan Van Lieshout as the new VP-Maori and Kate Lunn as a new director (replacing Simba Marama-Lyon and Gabriel Paikea respectively.) Nexus previously covered Simba’s resignation in the last issue; however Gabriel decided to resign while we were out of print. He cited the fact that he had begun a full time job and was no longer on campus at all. The appointment process for the VP Maori was finalised by the board, but based on recommendations made by an external committee and consultation with the maori ropu
PHOTOGRAPH: LOUISE HUTT
and groups on campus. Due to the timing of Gabriel’s res-
STOP THE PRESS! ACTUAL THINGS ACHIEVED FOR ACTUAL STUDENTS JAMES RAFFAN
— Just when we were starting to get incredibly disil-
possibility of improving your internet allowance each
lusioned with life, people had to come and do things
week:
that help students. Nexus has obtained the minutes from the last Students Campus Building Funds Trust. The SCBFT are the people that decide what to improve and develop on campus. (If they are reading this now then a bakery would be excellent.) The three items that caught our eye were all WSU
and Kevin Adamson of ITS has investigated. As it is expected that Kevin will shortly have some good news about resolving this issue, the Vice-Chancellor suggested we “park” this application for now. Michelle will follow up with Kevin regarding timeline. Finally, it appears the WSU is getting a van:
a select group of other University resources after
The ownership of a van would allow WSU to con-
hours. In the past students would have to pay $15
tinue to provide student transport to and from events,
to have the access put on their ID card every year. It
transport to Tauranga and improved pastoral care
seems like that charge will disappear starting in 2015
of students. The University has a van that they are
according to the following line in the minutes:
prepared to sell to WSU and the Trust has agreed to
“Although this donation would not comply with the requirements of the ministerial directive, it was agreed that it does fit the Trust’s objects and the Trust agreed to provide assistance up to an amount of $35,000.00 pa. This facility will be reviewed annually by the Trust.” The second thing that has us a little excited is the
If you have been following the merry-go-round of student representation over the last few years you may have noticed that resignation has been commonplace. The latest resignations and re-appointments bring the total to nine who have resigned in the past three years alone. The figure becomes staggering when you consider that in 2014 only
“THIS ALL LEADS TO TWO INEVITABLE QUESTIONS, ARE WE GETTING THE RIGHT CANDIDATES AND IF SO WHAT SEEMS TO BE SCARING THEM OFF EN-MASSE?”
three members of the previous year were re-elected, four stood for election. In 2013 only two were re-elected, and in
This matter has been raised within the University
raised initiatives. The first was the subsidy for access to labs and
ignation the board decided to appoint after interviews from a panel of those who had previously applied for the role.
2012 only one previous director was re-elected. This all leads to two inevitable questions, are we getting the right candidates and if so what seems to be scaring them off en-masse? With that being said, the WSU would like to remind students that the nomination period for the WSU Board of Directors 2015 opens next Monday. Students can register their interest to be a candidate in the election of director (8 positions available), VP-Maori, Vice-President or President of the WSU. The Elections will be held in mid August.
provide $16,500 to buy and sign-write the van. It is tough to imagine this nirvana where student’s get free transport to cool things, improved access to illegally downloading movies and television and the ability to enter a lab late at night without having to break the bank but our cynical hearts are slightly melting.
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scalable business model. SODA has a stringent process to find those with potential for high-growth. SODA’s business growth manager, Petr Adamek, said it has been a very busy six months with a huge volume of enquiries for SODA’s services and the growth of two major SODA-run events; The Innes48 Business Startup Competition and The Fieldays Innovation Den powered by SODA Inc. “We are thrilled to say that, this year, we have put over 170 founders, entrepreneurs and business leaders through workshops, have worked in-depth with over 60 startups, and have accepted four startups onto SODA’s incubation programme. Our target at this stage is to work intensively with eight startups per year in our programmes so we are tracking well,”
PHOTOGRAPH: APLHA IMAGERY
he said.
SODA INC-UBATING LOCAL STARTUPS PRESS RELEASE
— Hamilton business incubator SODA Inc. has secured three years of funding from crown entity Callaghan Innovation’s Incubator Support Programme, enabling increased support to startups in the Waikato region. SODA’s Chair Graham Gaylard says the funding is a wonderful indication of the government’s faith in SODA’s ability to deliver scalable start-up businesses that will grow New Zealand’s economy. “The funding will be put towards SODA’s operational expenses associated with administration, high quality mentors, services to high-growth and early-stage ventures, the development of investor networks, regional collaboration for early-stage company support and initiatives that build the Waikato’s entrepreneurial ecosystem,” Gaylard said. Group manager of grants at Callaghan Innovation, Norman Evans, says that the Incubator Support Programme aims to get more startups off the ground, which will in turn “generate employment growth, commercialise intellectual property, and grow emerging sectors”. “We believe that business incubators are crucial to growing highgrowth sectors, as they offer start-ups the support and expertise they need to speed up their path to market,” Evans said. As a business incubator, SODA runs incubation programmes for startups with the aim of helping them to build a repeatable and
WHAT DO THEY WANT? (THE PAST) WHEN DO THEY WANT IT? (TOMORROW). AARON LETCHER
— Fanatical Jihadists waging war across Iraq and Syria have publicly crucified nine men East of Aleppo for waging war against both embattled President Bashar al-Assad’s government forces and rival rebels in the region. A group known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), a Sunni militant faction, is thought to be responsible for the atrocity. While the Qur’an makes several mentions of “crucifixion” many had hoped that this barbaric measure was a thing of the past. It is this harsh interpretation of Islam, and unapologetic willingness to inflict wanton brutality on both Christian and Shia Muslim minorities, that has lead other extremist groups such as Al Qaeda to break ties in 2014. On the 29th of June ISIS self-proclaimed their status as a caliphate, (Islamic state or Muslim empire), that spans the majority of modern day Iraq and Syria. Their Caliph said to be a political successor to the prophet Muhammad is Abu Bakr alBaghdadi, a PHD graduate of the University of Islamic Science in Baghdad and experienced Mujahideen. The group is bent on destroying Iraq’s deeply divided Shia government, overthrowing Assad’s Alawite regime in Syria and enforcing their strict interpretation of sharia law on the population. The rapid emergence of ISIS as a fast growing and destabilizing force in the region has left many foreign policy analysts scratching their heads and looking for answers. It’s believed that a power vacuum created following the toppling of Saddam
“WE BELIEVE THAT BUSINESS INCUBATORS ARE CRUCIAL TO GROWING HIGH-GROWTH SECTORS, AS THEY OFFER STARTUPS THE SUPPORT AND EXPERTISE...” - NORMAN EVANS
Hussein’s regime in Iraq and the subsequent withdrawal of US troops between 2009 and 2011 set the scene. Then, with revenue from commandeered oil fields in Syria, the smuggling of archaeological artefacts and funding from wealthy individuals who sympathize with their cause the fire is lit and raging.
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nexus magazine
LEILA WANT’S TO LEGALISE IT SHORT NEWS
— Just a few weeks into her new role as the voice of reason in the Internet Mana cabal Leila Harre has announced her first two major policy points, legalising weed and free education. The problem is that even the people who agree with both probably won’t vote for them. Voting Internet-Mana is a little like taking home someone after the lights come on at the Outback. They will say all the right things, and look pretty in the right light. They may even be the best decision you make but you can’t bring yourself to tell your family or your mates.
HE DIDN’T JUST TIE THE KANGAROO DOWN SHORT NEWS
SIMON BRIDGESDOLPHIN SLAYER SHORT NEWS
— Simon Bridges, the man Nexus tipped to be the number one main threat to your future in 2012 has firmly cemented his place as New Zealand’s Anti-Captain Planet. Now that Bridges is done destroying protected wildlife and ensuring protestors don’t get too close to oil rigs and things that make money, he has turned his attention to the Maui dolphin. With one percent of the precinct reporting, we are ready to predict that Simon Bridges has now done enough to be named National Leader 2018.
— Famed octogenarian that you probably never heard of, Rolf Harris was convicted and sentenced to six years in prison for various charges relating to the sexuual assult of minors. In other words Harris was sentenced to die in prison. Perhaps the only amusing part of the story was that even prior to conviction, Harris was un-friended by former
CUNLIFFE SORRY FOR HIS COCK SHORT NEWS
—
frequent collaborators the Wiggles. Apparently innocent till proven guilty means fuck all to Geoff, but then, you really have a problem
David Cunliffe took the unexpected route this holiday, apologising for having a penis.
when a guy named captain feathersword thinks you’re creepy.
Speaking to a Women’s Refuge forum Mr Cunliffe said "I don't often say it. I'm sorry for being a man right now, because family and sexual violence is perpetrated over-
SCRATCHY? SLIGHT BURNING SENSATION? YOU MUST BE IN HAMILTON. SHORT NEWS
—
“I DON'T OFTEN SAY IT. I'M SORRY FOR BEING A MAN RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE FAMILY AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE IS PERPETRATED OVERWHELMINGLY BY MEN AGAINST WOMEN AND CHILDREN.”
whelmingly by men against women and children.” It’s a nice sentiment but entirely misdirected and clunky... allow Nexus News to do a rewrite for you: “I don’t often say this, but I am not sorry for being a man. I am however sorry that
While you were on your summer vacation the national media lost
we use the term so loosely. I am sorry that we call people that abuse women, verbally,
their shit because a highschool kid had slightly longer hair than
physically or sexually, men. I am sorry that absentee fathers who couldn’t care less
most people. What you may not have realised is that in Hamilton’s
about their children are called men, or that the term is applied to people like the guy
own high schools and workplaces kids were being sent home, sports
in York Street who killed an infant. At best all of these people are fractions of men,
teams were being cancelled and doctors surgeries were being over-
who have left an indelible stain on the term and my government and I will not rest
loaded with students who were complaining about pink areas and
until we create a society where the actions of these mouth breathers will not be
itchiness. This time it was measles not chlamydia.Well, maybe at
tolerated. This is my promise to you today.
Fairfield it wasn’t measles.
Seriously, it’s not that hard.
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nexus magazine
NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY
ADULT LEARNERS' AWARDS OPEN — Nominations for the 2014 Vice Chancellor’s Adult Learners’ Awards are now open. If you know of an adult student who deserves recognition for their efforts, achievements and contributions toward study, nominate them for an award
GET SORTED FOR B SEMESTER
now. www.waikato.ac.nz/go/adultlearnersweek
— Make sure you get your enrolment for B Semester sorted. If you are adding or changing papers, you need to go to iWaikato and complete a Change of Enrolment form as soon as possible before the end of the first two weeks of semester. If you need help, go to the Student Administration desk on level 2 of the Student Centre.
BLUES AWARDS OPEN — Nominations for the 2014 Wallace Corporation University of Waikato Blues Awards are now open.
CHANGES TO STUDENT EMAIL ADDRESSES NOW COMPLETE —
Blues are awarded to students who demonstrate excellence in either sport or the creative or performing arts. Self-nominations are also welcome. www.waikato.ac.nz/events/blues
The @waikato.ac.nz alias for all University-supplied student email addresses has now been removed. This means that
receive any emails sent to the @waikato.ac.nz alias. This change should improve the speed and security of our email network for all users. Make sure to let your contacts know and check your website login details are updated. nexusmag.co.nz
—
from now on you will only be able to use your username@ students.waikato.ac.nz email address and will no longer
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FREE PUBLIC LECTURE THIS WEEK Professor Michèle Akoorie from Waikato Management School will give her Inaugural Professorial Lecture, My father was a race alien, on Tuesday 15 July at 6pm in the Academy. The Opus bar is open from 5pm.
nexus magazine
NBA TRADE NEWS SPORTS GUY - OPINION
— The NBA offseason is always an exciting time of the year. For all my fellow basketball junkies out there I will be using this space to let you know just a little bit about who will be playing where next season. — Spencer Hawes (C) has signed a 4 year deal with the Los Angeles Clippers worth approximately $23 million. —
THE JOYS OF A BIG BUDGET
Chris Kaman (C) will be playing his basketball in Portland
SPORTS GUY - OPINION
next season after signing a 2 year deal with the Trailblazers.
—
Dirk Nowitzki has resigned with the Dallas Mavericks on a 3 year deal. — The Los Angeles Lakers have offered Carmelo Anthony a max contact (4 years worth around $90 million). However many sources are still picking him to stay with the New
I’m more and more frustrated at the big clubs in the English Premier League each week of this off season. It’s a simple case of having too much more for their own good. As it currently stands, Liverpool and Chelsea have moves that amplify my point.
York Knicks. —
Liverpool have signed Southampton striker Rickie Lambert
Lance “Born Ready” Stephenson has (at this stage)
for just over 7 million pounds. This bugs me for a number
REJECTED a 5 year $44million deal contract from the
of reasons. Southampton are one of my favourite teams in
Indiana Pacers.
the EPL and will be the team I support this year after my
—
beloved Canaries were relegated at the end of last season.
LeBron James looks ready to test his free agency, as his
Southampton went from being a mediocre team in the
agent has been meeting up with a number of clubs on his
2012/13 season to being a contender for a top four finish
behalf. After his agent has compiled a short list, LeBron
in the 2013/14 season. Because of this, the big clubs are
will then do face to face meetings with the finalists. ‘The
pouncing on their talent, including super striker Lambert.
Decision 2.0’: coming soon.
Liverpool is a team who are stacked up front with interna-
—
tional players Daniel Sturridge and Luis Suarez. Simply put,
Darren Collison (PG) has signed with the Sacramento Kings
there was no need to sign Lambert to have him wasting
for 3 years. Look for their current PG Isaiah Thomas to be
away on the bench.
traded this off season. Chelsea have made some interesting moves; none more interesting than the signing of declining midfielder Cesc Fabregas from Barcelona. The former Arsenal captain looks set to replace the departing Frank Lampard. However, the fact that Chelsea are also reportedly going after young starting calibre midfielders in Paul Pogba and Toni Kroos (among others) leaves the question as to whether Fabregas will actually see that much game time or be utilised to full effect. For once I’d like to see a big club actually work on improving the weak spots in their team, rather than just trying to sign the hottest name on the market, regardless of position; especially when there is so much pressure on the clubs with money to win titles. You need a well rounded team to win a title as a weak link will be found out and exploited in this competitive, clinical league.
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RIDICULIST
VOX POPS
Ridiculous ways people try to make their assign-
Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.
ments look less rushed.
Vox Pops were a bit of a challenge this week- it’s like all you fuck-
1 A really BIG font. If you're under the word count, that font won't hide it.
ers are on holiday or something. I came down to the green to find you and there was no one there except a woman who didn’t speak English with a cute dog. Luckily it gives me the opportunity to right a wrong from last semester. In our last edition, I accidentally interviewed too many people for Vox
2 Bold, italics, or underlined anything. Seriously? It's a two page essay on Batman. It doesn't need a pithy title.
3 Handed in 10 minutes early. It's still warm from the printer, and even a glance at the front page tells us you pulled an all-nighter.
Pops, and sadly, Sarah, who studies Biology, was left off the list. She sent me this message, and it cut me to the heart Sarah, it really did. To the Vox Pops lady - I understand you probably didn't want 6 biologists for this weeks issue, but if thats the case you could have asked us who was going to give the most interesting answers and I would have happily bowed out. But instead you took all our answers and said we would be in Nexus. Don't print 5 people from a group of 6 that you interviewed, because that's just rude. So this week you get your very own Vox Pop Sarah! I hope this makes up for my intolerable rudeness.
4 Dodgy References. They're in five different fonts and seven different sizes, and they're all from wikipedia. One's APA, one's MHRA, and the rest are just odd looking.
5 2.5, 3 or 4 point spacing. Usually used in conjunction with a big font, the amount of white space on the page is an instant red-flag, and matches the colour of your eyes.
6 Pictures or diagrams when the assignment didn't ask for them. We don't read your essay for the pictures, this is not a porno.
7 The handwritten "it was only five minutes late!" note. It is never, ever only five minutes late, as anyone who has ever met someone for coffee can attest.
8 The "I can't afford printing" excuse. And yet somehow the other sixty-two students figured it out.
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Sarah, Bio. Best Study-tip? Stock up on candy and chocolate. What do you think is an acceptable level of cheating? None. What’s a weird thing you do when you’re alone? I read all my papers in bed. Naked.
nexus magazine
What We Do in the Shadows
Transformers: Age of Extinction
FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON
FILM REVIEW BY DARCIE
This film is funny. What's more, it's unapologetically local in both its
Michael Bay brings us Age of Extinction: the next instalment in the
location and its humour. Perhaps a mockumentary about vampires in
Transformers franchise. What initially appeared to be the biggest and
a contemporary urban setting isn't exactly cutting edge in this age of
best -in terms of actor choice, special effects and plot- turned out
Twilight and True Blood but Taika Waititi and Jermaine Clement, the
to be more of the same. Age of Extinction offers a new cast, (Mark
co-writers/co-directors/co-stars, prove themselves up to the challenge
Wahlberg and Stanley Tucci included), as well as quite a few other
of turning a mildly amusing premise into a consistently witty feature.
familiar faces and voices (John Goodman, Ken Watanabe and Thomas
If the overall plot is thin, individual moments come close to bril- Lennon to name a few). liance. Waititi's blood sucking dandy is well matched by Clement's
Plot summary: Wahlberg plays struggling inventor and single father
amusing parody of Vlad the Impaler with Jonathan Brugh's preening
of a teenage daughter who comes across a broken down truck that
narcissist an able third wheel complement. Amongst the non-vampire
turns out to be a transformer. Hired guns track them down which
characters Rhys Darby's werewolf leader unsurprisingly stands out
leads to being on the run with Optimus Prime and the daughter’s
although just as funny is newcomer Karen O'Leary's note-perfect
boyfriend. Along with this, the advancement of technology allows
impersonation of an earnest police woman. The idea that our con- transformers to be made. The price that comes with dabbling in this stabulary are so keen on imparting platitudes that they are incapable
and playing with things you shouldn’t is the potential extinction of the
of perceiving ghastly crimes right before their eyes is about as close
human race. Mostly this movie is another ‘save the humans from the
as What We Do in the Shadows comes to having a satiric bite.
bad guys’ story, which some people love, while others get a bit bored.
Stylistically the film is a marvel. Gothic sets and lighting, seamless
The special effects were unsurprisingly impressive, but as a whole
digital magic for the bat transformations and in-camera effects for
the movie didn’t seem to reach anything outstanding despite its
gravity-defying crawling on the ceiling demonstrate the necessary
lengthy 165 minutes. Also, even with the range of better-known
understanding of genre conventions and the technical prowess to
actors none of the characters really made you impressed with their
pull them off. Such detail adds immeasurably to the fun but just as
part to play – save for a few minors.
important is how a blackly comedic tone is sustained. No matter how broad the jokes or the pratfalls, What We Do in the Shadows retains
Typical Transformers, more of the same, if you like the other movies then chances are you will like this one too.
its bloody edge throughout.
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Oxymoron
The Imperfectionist
ALBUM REVIEW BY ALEX BARLOW
ALBUM REVIEW BY HP
Schoolboy Q is the second member of the rap supergroup Black The latest offering from Hamilton/Rwandan MC, Raiza Biza, is a buoyHippy to release his major label debut. If you haven’t heard of Black
ant and soulful album that should cement his position within New
Hippy yet you will have heard of Kendrick Lamar, the first member to
Zealand hip hop. Biza is a man of significant work ethic. He has been
gain worldwide success. The other two members Ab-Soul and Jay
appearing all over the place pumping out releases and refining his
Rock are set to release their debuts this year with Ab-Soul’s expected
skills on each product. Now, with The Imperfectionist, he has reached
next week sometime.
a point where people’s heads are starting to turn, both towards him
On Oxymoron Schoolboy Q manages to find a good balance
Intro checked, Biza swims through horn samples and hi-hat splatters
Year which will have you losing it in the clubs and grittier tracks like
with the confidence of more renowned MC’s. In fact, on opening track
Hoover Street covering his dark drug dealing past. The album starts
Chuck Daley, veteran rapper PNC shows up with his super-rhythmic
off strong with Gangsta in which he talks about receiving his first
polysyllabic skills but Biza sounds just as honed. Biza switches his
gun from his grandma. On the title track he covers ignoring phone
flow between the chilled and groovy to rapid-fire and his lyrics range
calls from his daughter while he spaces out on drugs before the beat
from the self-explanatory House Party to the thought provoking
dramatically switches up and he triumphantly declares “I just stop
Butterfly Effect. He has David Dallas-style range. This album could
selling crack today!”
well be his Rose Tint and not just because he’s giving it away for free.
The rap scene is flooded with fake rappers who make up stories
Maybe that’s what P-Money was thinking when he shows up to
about gangbanging to put out a harder and more interesting persona
produce. But it’s the production of Crime Heat and Jay Knight to
(I’m looking at you Rick Ross). But this is not Schoolboy- he was a legit
watch for here. Like Biza, these two are showing the experienced
Hoover Street Crip before he started making rap money. He’s not try-
a thing or two. Biza uses his velocity to outrun and out-climb some
ing to promote or romanticize the violence, he’s just telling his story.
of the sticking points of young MC’s. He doesn’t slip into the dirge
The name of the album is not just a reference to the drug he was once
of faux-gangster or ultra-capitalism making this album not just a joy
addicted to, Oxycontin, it alludes to his conflict between good and
for its production, rhythms and word play, but because it’s honest.
bad. All the bad he did was to feed and clothe his daughter, who can be heard speaking on several tracks. Actual features on the album include Kendrick, Tyler the Creator, 2 Chainz, Jay Rock and A$ap Rocky.
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and in that nodding way that subtly subverts our neck bones.
between heavy hitting bangers like Collard Greens and Man of the
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
The Three
Guacamelee!
BOOK REVIEW BY RENÉE BOYER-WILLISSON
GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT
Four planes crash on the same day on four different continents. One
Masked Mexcian Luchador wrestlers. Over the top, cheese-filled dia-
plane has no survivors; the other three each have only one survivor,
logue. Button mashing combat with equally over the top, cheese-filled
in each case a child, in each case barely scratched. Terrorism is initially
combo moves. Sounds like a great way to spend an afternoon, right?
suspected, but no-one comes forward to claim responsibility. As the
This quirky gem from indie company Drinkbox Studios places you as
crashes are investigated, no links are found between the four crashes
Juan Aguacate - a man hell-bent to punch, kick, suplex and piledrive
– the planes are from four different airlines; all four have different
hordes of skeletons and monsters into submission for the sake of
causes. The truth is elusive, but one thing seems certain – the child
revenge and love. This 2D platformer overflows with colourful cartoon
survivors are… different.
styled characters and plenty of challenges. For the most part these
The closest thing to the truth seems to come in the form of a book
boil down to simple puzzles, usually involving hitting something with
by Elspeth Martins: “Black Thursday: From Crash to Conspiracy”, a powerful uppercut, or solid headbutt, but some are a little trickier which is made up of transcripts of conversations, copies of emails, to overcome. letters and instant messages she has sourced. This “book” makes up most of the content of The Three.
For best value for money this game is also a two player wrestlefest. Player two takes on the role of Tostada, the character who gave Juan
Lotz does well juggling the huge cast of narrating characters this
his Lucador mask. Together the two of you can tag-team the enemy
books ends up with and all the characters feel well developed. But
forces, making combat a little easier. Plus, some of the puzzles seem
their voices do feel a little samey at times, and I felt like some of them
to need two players to overcome anyway. Unfortunately, the two-
wrote/spoke better than they might have done in real life. I found this book very gripping but the ending does kind of tell the
player aspect doesn’t have split screen, so you’re both restricted to the same area in the game. If one of you ventures (falls / jumps /
reader the ultimate truth, and I found it a little bit of a let-down. Overall
uppercuts / moonsaults) off screen, you might end up dying for a
though, the book really does make you think – about truth, the media,
while. Luckily it is a short while and it doesn’t interrupt the game for
group think and the elusiveness of one truth in any such global event. the other player. Totally worth checking out for a nice mindless way Originally reviewed at booksellersnz.wordpress.com
to spend an afternoon.
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nexus magazine
HØNEST MATT MEETS BEACH PIGS Honest Matt Matt Hicks
Matt Hicks talks to Auckland indie band Beach Pigs about their new album
What artist’s/bands/things inspire/influence the Beach Pigs? We all have
‘Grom Warfare’, the effects of their 2012 critic’s choice nomination, playing
different tastes in music. For example Dahnu really loves Frank Ocean and
shows in small town New Zealand and smoking ciggies. The name Beach Pigs is quite cool. How’d you come up with it? We were watching a film with Daniel Mañetto at his studio “0 Zero Studios”, I
at one time. Fleetwood Mac has been pretty radical for us. Also the Cure,
can’t remember who was there at the time. The film had beach pigs raiding
the Beatles and Joy Division. John Frusciante is my favourite guitarist in the
a campsite and we thought that would be a pretty cool name. How long
whole world. How would you describe your sound to someone not in
did the new album take to make? We started actually recording roughly a
the know? (i.e. your/or someone else’s grandma) Fuzzy Punky Pop. With
year and a half ago. Most of it came together later down the track. The early
a hint of your old mate Elton. When did you all decide you were gonna
days were mainly planning and thinking about what we wanted. Some of the
give this music thing a good crack? I think we were all in our teens like
songs we actually finished writing in the studio, some had been songs from
15/16 ish that we all became obsessed with music and how it works and
before we were officially a band. An example being the song ‘Heartbreaker’.
performing. For me it was watching a family friend play Neil Young songs
By the way love your video for ‘Cigarette’. Out of interest, how long did
at a farmer’s party when I was 14. The guitar from that point on captivated
it take for all the people in that vid to tear through that thirty gram? That
me. The performance just ended a lovely evening of roast dinner with lovely
was filmed at our old flat 333. We were really obsessed with playing Hand
songs. While he was playing everyone was happy. What would be your
Ball Four Square at the time so we made an event where people could come
dream festival to play at and alongside whom? Opening for the Pixies at
play handball and hang out and also make a music video. The whole video
Coachella. Or play a pool party with Haim in California.
was one shot and I think the 30-gram got smashed in about half an hour.
More at sounzgood.co.nz.
What was the biggest challenge being on the road for a month? Socks.
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listens to it blasting around the flat. Suren loves Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs at the moment. Billy still loves Tool. We all have varied influences
nexusmag.co.nz
You will meet a 6’ft green eyed person this week. You won’t realise it at first but they will become the love of your life. They make you feel like there is no one else in the world like you. Then at the end of the week they will leave you and never come back. In many ways it’s a metaphor for the election year.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
If you think about it the difference between success and failure at University mostly comes down to the subjective opinion of your lecturer. You spend $30,000 and your work can be judged a success or failure based on whether the person marking it is having a bad day.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) You seem to be making bad decisions for the right reasons this week but remember Thomas Merton said “I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.”
It’s a new semester but your flatmate hasn’t learned to clean. Putting dirty dishes in your room is not cleaning the fucking kitchen it’s just moving your mess and making me eat cereal out of a pot like a savage.
Love can happen where you least expect it… actually that’s not true. Love pretty much happens at nightclubs, house parties and introductions from mutual friends. The places you would least expect it would be prison, a kidnapping or the Catholic Church... On second thought just disregard this horoscope.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Be more optimistic. Kim Kardashian once said "I hate when women wear the wrong foundation, it might be the worst thing on the planet when they wear their makeup too light." If she can make millions of dollars it can literally happen to anyone.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Health will be very important to you this week. That is why it is imperative that you stay away from Dave and Tyler in Bryant hall. They keep scratching at their arms and their skin looks real blotchy. It might be contagious #Fakemeaslesjoke #JustkiddingtheyarePaddicts
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You have been on a roller coaster lately but don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you need to find your inner compass. That’s why Jesus invented google maps. That way you can always find your way home after getting blackout drunk because your life is shit.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This is the week for you to become more than just a student, or an avid reader of Nexus. You can be a vigilante and a beacon for justice. All you need to accomplish this is billions of dollars, a background in criminology and a tragic orphan backstory. The stars believe you can do it.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Challenge authority, take risks, what’s the worst that could happen? Actually the worst thing that could happen is you finally realise you have been cheated on, your failing your papers, and your friends only like you because you buy them things. Sometimes being an all knowing horoscope clairvoyant sucks.
Time to choose! Love or money. It’s become increasingly clear that you can’t have both and finish your degree. When making a decision of this magnitude it’s important to remember that love won’t necessarily get you money but money can always buy you something close to love. For legal reasons we need to point out that “close to love” is likely to refer to a handjob from a septuagenarian with surprisingly firm wrists.
It’s a fortunate week to formulate creative ideas and set goals. This is made slightly more ironic when you realise we stole this horoscope from a daily newspaper. How much more creative can you get? The lesson here is you can always plagiarise other people.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
HOROSCOPES
nexus magazine
Le Hipster Playlist BEATS BY J
Chet Faker / Built on Glass
To Me
Grimes / Visions
Oblivion
Jagwar Ma / Howlin'
Uncertainty
Teme Impala / Nova Tunes 2.7
Elephant
M83 / Saturdays = Youth
We Own The Sky
Vampire Weekend / Modern Vampires of the City Unbelievers
Bastille / All This Bad Blood Of The Night
Awolnation / Megalithic Symphony Sail
The XX / XX Intro
Passion Pit / Chunk of Change Sleepyhead
Hot Chip / Remixed by Fred Faike
Colours
Ta-Ku / Songs To Break Up To
I Miss You
Flume / Chet Faker / Lockjaw
Drop the Game
For full playlist follow nexusmagazine on Spotifiy.
15
nexus magazine
TOP TEN TERRIBE FILMS Auteur Dr Richard Swainson
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The following list takes its lead from a recent display at Auteur House.
wooed by macho pilot John Wayne, a man old enough to be her father. When
Rather than emphasising our best films, I had the idea to champion the worst.
Leigh disrobes the soundtrack screams its appreciation of her sizable bust.
Some are the result of crazed, impassioned visions gone wrong. Others are
Producer Howard Hughes was a tit man.
just plain incompetent. Here are ten of the most awful movies ever made:
6. Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) - Ed Wood strikes again. An attempt to
1. Reefer Madness (1936) - the best known of the anti-drug propaganda short-
construct a narrative around a few seconds worth of film in which Lugosi
features released during the Great Depression, a "message" picture about the
smells some flowers, Wood's tale of alien invasion and zombies raised from
evils of marijuana. Just one puff will have you hooked for life! Axe-murderers,
the grave is his magnum opus. Far too entertaining to truly be thought of as
prostitutes and the insane all begin as casual consumers of cannabis.
the "worst film of all time".
2. Robot Monster (1953) - the title character in this unspeakably abysmal
7. The Green Berets (1968) - Hollywood's only A-picture made about Vietnam
mess is a man in a gorilla suit with a hollowed out television set on his head.
during that war's prosecution, this was another career nadir for the Duke.
3. Glen or Glenda (1953) - a heartfelt, autobiographical statement on what it
The Vietcong sound suspiciously like Indians and the sun sets in the East.
is to be a transvestite from the legendary Edward D. Wood, Jr. featuring Bela
8. Myra Breckinridge (1970) - Raquel Welch as a transgendered man. 77 year
Lugosi in a chair intoning such portentous if meaningless lines as "Pull the
old Mae West in her first movie in three decades. An appalling butchery of
Strings! Pull the Strings!", lots of stock footage of the freeway and - fleet-
Gore Vidal's satirical novel, though John Huston is memorable as the faded
ingly - the devil himself. Equal parts surreal and stupid.
cowboy star 'Buck Loner'.
4. The Conqueror (1956) - a big budget epic financed by madman Howard
9. Lisztomania (1975) - A bizarrely anachronistic biopic of Franz Liszt with
Hughes in which John Wayne plays Genghis Khan with the same accent
The Who's Roger Daltrey as the composer and The Beatles' Ringo Starr as
and vocal inflection he used in countless B-Westerns. Improbably, a hit on
the Pope. Even by Ken Russell's standards, this is strange. The giant phallus
first release.
imagery is sure to send any remaining Freudians into fits of ecstasy.
5. Jet Pilot (1957) - shot 7 years before it finally made it to theatres, a cold
10. Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977) - When Richard Burton was bad, he was god-
war propaganda piece with Janet Leigh as a defecting Soviet airwoman
awful. An incomprehensible, sinfully dull sequel to the horror masterpiece.
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
LIFE AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf
I have never been enamoured of the Buddhist system of things even
up your nostrils two and a half thousand years ago, but not in the green and
when it was popular back in the late sixties and early seventies, what
pleasant land of Western capitalism today.
with the Beatles flirtation, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Zen and the
The end product of all this denial is to reach a state of cessation from the
Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and all that.
struggle to exist apparently: Nirvana in other words, where you step off the
Take, for example, the first four Noble Truths. Number one observes that life
wheel of countless rebirths.
is full of pain, sickness, suffering and then you die. Well, that might have
Let me just say that, first, I think the recycling idea is great for bottles and old
been the case back in the day when poor little rich boy, Siddhartha Gautama,
newspapers, but for humans it’s just too silly for words. Second, if it were
aka the Buddha, sat down under the Bodhi tree without penicillin, Botox and
true, I’d want to stay on the wheel and enjoy the ride a few more times thank
daytime television, but today with hot and cold running water and heated
you very much. It was Nietzsche who spoke of the eternal return, metaphori-
towel racks, how could anyone not be mildly happy?
cally of course, with a certain relish.
Of course we’re all still going to die, eventually, but that’s the price we pay
As for the Eightfold Path – right living and following the moral code – it’s
for life itself and we shouldn’t be so limp minded and self-absorbed that we’d
pretty common garden variety stuff practiced by all and sundry, except for
want to escape grief and pain on that account. That would just make us stony,
your genital mutilators (one of the most prevalent forms of child abuse now
cold-hearted whiney bastards.
in the UK), paedophiles, terrorists and armament manufacturers. No sur-
The other “noble truths”, predictably, have to do with the question of how to
prises there. The Buddhist does not have a monopoly on ethical thought.
avoid suffering. The answer pretty much comes down to the suppression of
Which brings me to the current exhibition on at the Academy of Performing
desire. That approach seems to open one up to the charge of being a pussy.
Arts (Calder and Lawson Gallery) where New Zealand artist and Buddhist
Don’t desire because you’ll get hurt. It comes across as inordinately life deny-
monk, Max Gimblett, is showing twenty two paintings on paper for your
ing and scaredy-cat kind of wrapped in cotton wool negation. What a wimpish
delight and delectation. Wild splashes of colour and geometric precision
philosophy! The notion of killing basic cravings might apply to someone living
of forms speak of cosmic consciousness raising while gorging the senses.
in a squalid bedsit in Bradford or a Northern Indian desert with sand filling
Spot the palpable paradox.
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PHOTOGRAPH: HAYLEE
nexus magazine
MONGOLIA Overseas Experience Haylee
In 2010 I travelled through Mongolia for six weeks. I'd been teach-
endless steppe, the occasional group of camels, sometimes a few
ing in Korea, one of the most crowded countries in the world, and
gers huddled in the distance with their herds of goats, cattle and
was eager to see the country. And horses, I'd been dreaming of them
horses. Some of the terrain was brutal; impossibly narrow gorges,
for years. After living in airports for 3 nights due to freak storms and
deep rivers, and trackless wastes. We visited a functioning Buddhist
mechanical failures, I finally flew into Ulan Bator.
temple complex, which was impressive, but less so since most of
I was supposed to be couchsurfing with a family, but after waiting
the original had been destroyed when Mongolia was under commu-
for two hours in the main square which was partially taken up by a
nist Russian rule. There was also a valley that apparently reminded
surreal communist-era carousel, I gave up, trudged down a seedy
the resident monks of a certain part of the female anatomy, so they
alleyway and crashed on a bunk in a slightly dodgy backpackers.
erected (snigger) a large stone phallus to keep the land “satisfied.”
I'd met two Americans, a Swede and a French couple on the flight,
In the middle of nowhere we came across a herdsman moving
and we agreed to split the cost of a van, a driver/cook and a guide. ‘house’. The ger was folded onto a cattle-drawn cart and a satellite Mongolia has very few roads and less public transport (i.e. none) so
axle snapped and we has to wait 5 hours until another tourist van
and the museum has an entire floor of gorgeous ethnic costumes.
came by with better tools. Also in the middle of nowhere we picked
We crammed our gear into an old Russian van and eventually crawled off. A few hours later we'd left one of the few paved roads
up a Spanish couple hitchhiking- they'd been walking for the last three days.
and were bouncing over dirt tracks. We stopped at a ger (yurt is a
I rode one of the small, bad-tempered Mongolian ponies along the
really offensive term for the round felt domes most Mongolians live
shore of Lake Baikal. In winter it freezes over and trucks cross it to
in, even in cities) and drank airag (fermented mare's milk with a low
get into Siberia. There was an impromptu race with the local kids,
alcohol content), which tasted as bad as it sounds.
(who I like to think were impressed that I could keep up with them).
Another week of dusty, bumpy tracks took us through the desola-
Next time I'd go for much longer and cover less of the country. It’s
tion of the Gobi. The only sand dunes are a kilometre high, rising up
absolutely enormous and getting anywhere takes an uncomfortable
out of the rock and scrub. At night the sky was immense and the
forever. I'd also spend more time with the people. In one of the most
silence more so. We looped north through what most people think of Mongolia;
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dish was perched incongruously on top. A few days later the van's
this is the only cheapish way to travel. The market is worth a look,
nexusmag.co.nz
inhospitable climates, they were incredibly welcoming and generous with the little they had.
nexus magazine
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nexus magazine
Spark Festival of Media, Arts & Design RACHAEL ELLIOTT
An annual platform for the arts, welcoming creative minds from around the world to present their work. Initiated by the Wintec School of Media Arts. The 2014 Spark Festival- home of weird and amazing cre- first solo exhibitions was Hide and Seek at the Ramp gallery in ative types of all kinds- is currently in the works. Because
1998, so this industry professional is a much admired edition
we are also weird, amazing and creative here at Nexus, we
to the festival.
managed to get a sneak peak at their programme. (We would
Coralie Winn - Coralie Winn is the director and co-founder
like it on the record that we in no way used our creative genius
of Gap Filler in Christchurch. “Gap Filler is about bringing life
to steal this information.) The festival has an amazing array of
to the city and texting new ideas for urban space.” Winn lost
artists, film makers, musicians, animators and graphic designers
her home and her job during the Christchurch earthquakes and
who come from all over the country (and the world) to show-
realised that this was an ideal opportunity to bring life back to
case their talents to crowds and crowds of salivating design
her damaged city. Gap Filler uses vacant sites that are await-
students. But the festival isn’t just for them- it’s for everyone.
ing redevelopment as a result of the many earthquakes or
It’s for people who need a little culture, but are on a budget. It’s
otherwise, for temporary, creative, people-centred purposes.
for people who want to impress their dates. It’s for people who
They work with local community groups, artists, architects,
need a little inspiration to get the through another semester of
landowners, librarians, designers, students, engineers, danc-
all-nighters for Computer Graphic Design. It’s for people who
ers – anyone with an idea and initiative!
like shiny things. It’s for anyone who wants to know what the
Derek Henderson - New Zealand born Derek Henderson cur-
point of an Arts degree is. (Game of Thrones or Orange is the
rently divides his time between Auckland and Sydney. Aside
New Black or House of Cards are the point dickheads, without
from this innovative and distinct work in fashion photography,
us Arts students you’d have no awesome TV shows.)
Henderson also exhibits work as part of his fine arts practice
Luckily for all those of you with a hangover (if you haven’t got
both nationally and internationally. Recent projects include
one you’re doing it wrong), the festival doesn’t start until August
Waitoa Slaughter House (2013) and Mercy Mercer (2009).
11th, so you have plenty of time to get amped for it. If you want “Lonesome and subdued, Henderson’s photographic practice is to know what people at the cutting edge of the arts are up to
inquisitive, poetic and sincere. There is a stillness and darkness,
head down and check out the talent and for a taste of what’s
abandon and light.”
on offer, read on.
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Tapiwa Chipfupa - Tapiwa Chipfupa’s film In The Bag On My
Darryn George - Visual artist Darryn George’s creative process
Back, which screened on Al Jazeera in 2013, documents her
involves the on-screen manipulation of the various components
return to Zimbabwe, guided by her father’s phone calls and a
of his work- numbers, lettering (Maori words), simple or com-
box of old photos. Chipfupa attempts to reconcile her memories
plex stacked or angled rectangles, and the patterns of moko,
with the new reality. Her unique perspective (a child of middle
koru and kowhaiwhai. George exhibited at Venice Biennale in
class Africa) she explores the dissolution and destruction of the
2013. Prior to that he has been a finalist in the Wallace Trust
place she once called home. The screening of this moving film
Art Award, received a Te Waka Toi Grant and undertook a major
of remembrance and a reminder that freedom is not guaranteed
commission for the Deustche Bank Head Office NZ. One of his
will be one of the pivotal moments of the festival.
nexusmag.co.nz
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: DARRYN GEORGE / CAROLIE WINN / DEREK HENDERSON / TAPIWA CHIPFUPA
nexus magazine
21
nexus magazine
A Vivid ReO RACHAEL ELLIOTT
Vivid brings the premise of a ‘chick-band’ to a whole new level.
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Comprised of Ash Wallace on vocals/guitar, Ellie McBurney on
Little Mix and Emilie Sande. They all kick ass.
lead guitar, Jade Paynter on bass and Kathleen Williams on
Things you don't leave home without?
drums, this band has played in front of hundreds at Auckland
Ash - lip balm
Waterfront’s Shed 10, and performed live on TV One’s Good
Ellie - food
Morning- as well as at our O-week earlier in the year. These
Jade - headphones
four talented ladies were a breakout Rockquest sensation, and
Kathleen - my phone
this week we’ve managed to get them to headline Schrapnel
What's your closet song on your ipod? (the one you're
on Wednesday night at Shenanigans. From 7-9 you can get
embarrassed about)
$3 Pizzas and $5 beers with your student ID, and catch this
Ash - You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate
awesome new talent. How did you guys meet, and how
Ellie - Radar by Britney Spears
did VIVID come about? Three of us (Ash, Ellie and Kathleen)
Jade - Best of Both Worlds by Miley Cyrus
met at school in Year 7 and thought we’d be super cool to start
Kathleen- Love Shack by the B52’s
a band. Then we met Jade late last year at School of Rock in
Favourite place to play a gig and why? Backbeat Bar on K
Auckland when we needed a new bass player.
Road in Auckland (above the Rockshop). It’s nice and small and
What are you guys most proud of achieving? Any achieve-
cosy but has cool vibes and some of the best acoustics in the
ment is one that we’re really proud of because it means that
city. The guys that run it are super nice as well!
we’re succeeding at doing what we love.
Weirdest person who has ever come to a VIVID gig? This
What's the best thing thing about being in VIVID?
guy who was at all of our gigs and danced around like a crazy
Performing live! There’s no better feeling.
person. We had no idea who he was or how he knew all our
What's the worst thing? Carrying our gear all around
songs! Turns out he’s the brother of one of our best mates.
Auckland! Many bruises have been caused by a kick drum or
Which of your own songs are your favourites?
pedal board and the guitar amps are so heavy to carry!
Ash - Get To Know Ya, it's easy to jam to
Who are your greatest supporters? Our parents, Andre
Ellie - Pull Me In
Worsnop (our music teacher), Gareth Moore (who runs School
Jade - Pull Me In
of Rock) and a few other fellow young bands from around NZ
Kathleen - Tea and the Teapot, it’s just so much fun to play
(they’ll know who they are!)
What do you guys do when you're not playing music? Eat
What do you think of the NZ music scene? Is it support-
Favourite alcoholic drink?
ive? There’s a lot of people in it that’s for sure! So it can be
Ash- Jagerbombs
hard to get noticed. But nearly everyone that we’ve come
Ellie - Corona
across so far, whether it be musicians, sound engineers or
Jade - Gin and Tonic
people that run organisations like APRA or Rockquest, have
Kathleen- Malibu and Cranberry
been really friendly and supportive. Everyone shares the same
What's next? We’ve just filmed our National Final submission
passion for music so its an awesome group of people to be
video for Smokefree Rockquest so hopefully some good news
a part of.
will be on the way soon! But we’ve got lots of other cool
What artists inspire you guys? We’re really inspired by other
projects and gigs coming up so stay tuned!
female artists and bands such as Haim, Lorde, Jamie McDell,
facebook.com/vividband
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
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A MINION PRO
nexus magazine
How to Choose a Font for your Assignment HAYLIE GRAY
The state of your assignments in terms of design is borderline blasephemous. We've heard Haylie sighing and swearing enough to know. She shares her genius below. Have you ever been stuck trying to select a font to use
a bit more warmth to it. To step out of the box a bit you could
for your assignment? Well, never again! I am going to make
try Franklin Gothic which is more modern and sleek.
life simple and explain some choices you can make to improve
Unless you are forced to use a specific point size for your
the aesthetic appearance of your assignment. So much so that
assignment, like the ridiculously huge 12pt, 8pt to 9pt is
your lecturer won’t even need to read your work to see you are
perfectly readable for most. Each font has its own height so dif-
a switched-on individual who cares about making the world a
ferent fonts can range slightly in size even if they are the same point size. This can be handy if you're looking to be sneaky and
better place. First things first, all the following suggestions have taken into consideration that we live and study in a bicultural country
fit fewer words into more pages. Another tip is to add a bit of line spacing to your assignment.
which means we some-
Word's default is 1, pump
times need to write te reo Maori. Not all fonts are designed with macrons (the lines above vowels to
it up to 1.15 but no more
“USING NO MORE THAN TWO TYPEFACES IN ONE PROJECT IS GENERALLY A GOOD RULE
explain pronunciation) but
FOR LIFE.”
improves readability and page look tidier. This is
standard with Microsoft. more old school and formal while sans serif are more modern,
just compensating. It may sound excessive but it just makes the overall
there are a few that come You can either go with a serif or sans serif font. Serif fonts are
than 1.5 otherwise you're
assuming you don’t have to apply double spacing, (ewww, now that is excessive).
but both are suitable when it comes to assignments or essays.
Using no more than two typefaces in one project is generally
If you choose to go with a serif, try Constantia, instead of
a good rule for life. This leads to headings. When it comes to
the standard Times New Roman. It is less condensed and it's
headings a good idea is to use the opposite of what you used
slightly wedged serif gives it a more modern look. It was also
for your body text. So if you used the sans serif Calibri for the
designed to be very readable in print and on screen. If you
main stuff use the serifed Minion Pro for your headings, or if
wanted a more classic option you could choose Minion Pro or
you used Minion Pro for the body use sans serif Myriad Pro
for an even more serious feel you could choose Caslon which
for your headings. Opposites attract. Then set your headings
has been popular and practical for years.
to 13-14pt and bold them if you want to. That is literally all you
Otherwise if you are feeling a sans serif vibe you could
need to do to establish a clear hierarchy to your document, so
try Calibri. This is one of the most commonly used fonts in
don't get carried away with massive headings using decorative
Microsoft Word because it is the default. It is a much better
display settings. And for fuck's sake, whatever you do, avoid
default than Arial. If not that, Myriad Pro is very similar but has
the WordArt option!
25
nexus magazine
The Society For Art Fusion WAIREHU GRANT
Something arty this way comes - Wairehu has the down low on our campus gallery. For too long the artistic community of our illustrious
Now onto the intentions of the society, and our plans for the
university campus has yearned for a viable platform to
near and distant future. The first order of business is obviously
showcase their perpetually developing skills and talents.
spreading the word, and getting as many people involved as
A safe haven for their creative minds to flourish. A vibrant
we can, including contributors, volunteers, minions, and every-
refuge where all are welcome to show us all what goes on
thing in between. Next order of business is explained in part
within that squishy mass of tissue between their ears. A place
by the last word in our title “Fusion”: we are looking to bring
with a desk and a wheelie chair (touch at your own peril). From
together as many disciplines as we possibly can to produce
this day forward folks you need only take a short walk to the
work and projects of immense diversity. From creative writers
lowermost level of the student centre and you will stumble
to engineers, all are welcome in this new world order. Aside
upon our humble gallery space. Situated directly opposite a
from these principles ,the society aims to promote interactivity
large pillar which turns out is in fact some form of storage space,
and present opportunities for anyone and everyone to partici-
complete with an iron ladder leading down into nothingness...
pate in various activities including weekly artist demonstrations
Naturally I am intrigued.
and themed events throughout the course of the year. During
At the helm of this ambitious project is Naomi Roche, a cur-
creative type each week to explain their chosen medium to
ranging from fabrics to clay work and pottery. Her tyrannical
you lucky lot.
dictatorship and cruel metho -OUCH!- I mean... Her constant
Now for those of you who claim to possess no creative
positivity and commitment to the society has been the driving
flair, our next objective is to prove what a load of bollocks that
force behind our efforts. We also have Tanya Hollatz, a painter
thought is! The participation of artists and non-artists is a crucial
and clay work extraordinaire who produces a large quantity of
element to our mission of bringing together the art community
her work out of the clay room located right here on campus in
of Waikato and beyond. So whether you’re an eccentric kook
the School of Education. Tanya has also proven herself to be
or a straight-laced studious type, feel free to drop in and check
the handiest of the three of us by far throughout the renova-
out what’s on offer.
tion process (which admittedly isn’t difficult) and also a master
Over the course of re-O Week we will be working on some
caterer. Last and certainly least, is your very own local purveyor
interactive activities and maybe even some live music for your
of the macabre, most often identified simply as “Y”. Apparently
subjective enjoyment. So once those hangovers subside to a
he paints and occasionally attempts to play music or some such
tolerable state come on down and take part in the madness!
shit. Sounds like a twat to me.
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Wednesday cultural hours we will strive to have a different
rent student and self-confessed “Art-tard”, dabbling in mediums
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
LIFE AFTER ARTS
FASCISM 101
Louise Vs The World Louise Hutt
Politics Ryan Wood
When I told my grandmother I was going to study film-making, she
There is an episode of the excellent social and political sat-
asked me, with as much tact as a dead fish, how I expected to get
ire South Park, titled ‘Butt Out’, which deals with the issue of
a job afterwards. Luckily for me, filming had just taken place for The
tougher anti-smoking laws. This perspective is represented by the
Hobbit, and my mother reminded her that the New Zealand film industry
film director and activist Rob Reiner, who is portrayed as determined
is worth NZ$3 billion. She hasn't asked why I gave up the sciences since
to stamp out smoking at all costs, and resorts to many extreme mea-
then. Nevertheless, I've still had people rubbish the fact I'm doing an Arts
sures to realise his dream. However, our heroes come to understand
degree, simply because STEM subjects are perceived to be so much more
that Reiner’s anti-smoking initiative infringes on the rights of others,
important.
and he is labelled by Kyle a ‘Fascist’.
STEM subjects are the ones the "smart" kids did at school, the ones
A similar satire played out in the New Zealand courts during the
which there are thousands of scholarships available for; science, tech-
break. A high school boy and his parents took their school to court
nology, engineering and mathematics. Now don't get me wrong, I'm so
over the issue of the boy’s hair. According to the school, it was too
thankful for each of those industries. We need each and every one of them,
long, and broke the school rule which states that boys’ hair must
but what we don't need is the value of the arts (and those studying arts
not touch the collar. Despite wearing his hair in a bun, and keeping
degrees) mocked because they don't have the same perceived value. "...and the arts student asks, would you like fries with that!" is the punch-
it off the collar, the student was still suspended. Under much media scrutiny, the judge ruled that the suspension was unlawful, and that school’s rules were, at the very least, unclear.
“...AND THE ARTS STUDENT ASKS, WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT!" IS THE PUNCHLINE TO A JOKE I'VE HEARD FAR TOO MANY TIMES, IRONICALLY, ALWAYS SHARED ON FACEBOOK BY OBNOXIOUS STEM STUDENTS WHO HAVE ALSO JUST POSTED A LINK TO THE LATEST GAME OF THRONE MEME.”
What these two disparate examples – one semi-fictional, the other real – have in common is the element of Fascism. Fascism, in its most basic form, occurs when an individual or group seeks to impose their vision of how society should be
line to a joke I've heard far too many times, ironically, always shared on
onto others. In the case of the South Park episode, this vision was a
Facebook by obnoxious STEM students who have also just posted a link to
smoke-free society. While smoking indoors infringes on the rights of
the latest Game of Throne meme. Believe it or not, if all arts students were
others, and so is rightly banned, smoking outdoors has little adverse
working at McDonalds you would have no Game of Thrones, no Breaking
effect on other people. Therefore, it is fascistic to insist upon a com-
Bad, no Adventure Time. While STEM subjects have absolute practical
plete ban of an activity which has little impact beyond the user. Our
applications to our survival, the arts help make that survival enjoyable.
own university has embraced such despotic thinking, (although I do
Imagine coming home from work and having no new episodes to stream,
wonder what the university would do if one were to sit on the bank
OF ANYTHING. Imagine a world with no books, no movies, no TV; it's
beside the lake, enjoying a quiet cigarette).
these things, which create so much enjoyment and entertainment, that you are also rubbishing when you rubbish the arts.
In the case of the longhaired schoolboy, the school’s presumption that they can decide how their students should wear their hair is
However, it's my boyfriend, who studied chemistry for six years, who's
preposterous. Imagine if the government made a similar decree,
worked at McDonalds. By going into the arts I've been able to work as a
affecting all citizens? High school leadership seems to attract little dic-
freelancer while at university, getting industry experience and building my
tators, if my own educational experience is anything to go by. These
portfolio. I just finished a video for Coke New Zealand last week, with a
institutions would be better off focusing less on pointless controls,
very nice paycheck attached. My boyfriend, who went right up to Masters,
and more on actually teaching people how to think.
has only just found an entry level job in science a year after leaving uni-
How is all of this political, you might ask? Well, as some broad
versity. I know countless other extremely clever and extremely talented
once said, ‘the personal is political.’ If you allow someone else to
STEM graduates who are still unemployed and despite assurances when
impose their views on you – to stop you from smoking or wearing
they started university, they're not making the "big money". They're not
your hair how you want it – then what will stop them controlling your
inundated with job offers. It's a scary world out there with a big student
life in other ways? Put the boot into Fascism, before Fascism puts
loan and no job to pay it off and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's not what
the boot into you.
you study that makes you a better person, it’s whether you realise every degree has its importance, especially the ones that make the next episode of Game of Thrones.
28
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SNAPPED Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Snapchat logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates at Burgerfuel. Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.
29
nexus magazine
LIFT YOUR BROW GAME Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady
Want to know the secret to having well groomed brows but afraid to grab the tweezers in case you end up looking like Grandma? In this two part series the Sweet Painted Lady is going to take your brows to rehab! Brows are an important part of your face. Technically they keep dust particles out of your eyes and aesthetically they frame the face and can change the proportions of your eyes and nose. Without brows your face just looks weird. Or weirder. The image below demonstrates where your brows should start and begin. Brows come in all shapes and sizes, from naturally well arched, dead straight, to overplucked, full and strong or what we affectionately call the ‘Tadpole’ (thicker at the base with a thin tail). 1. Look at the natural line of the outer bridge of your nose and imagine a fine line running from it up to your brow. This is where your first brow hairs should begin. Still unsure? Try holding a makeup brush along that line to see the start of these hairs. 2. From the exact starting point of line one visualise (hold your brush) on an angle past the outer edge of your pupil and upwards. This should be the highest point of your arch. 3. The final line from the first line runs on the outer edge of your nostril and outwards, this is where your brow ends. Follow these steps and you can create proportioned brows to complement your face shape. If you feel your
30
nexusmag.co.nz
PHOTOGRAPH: SHIFTING LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHY
brows need a good shaping and you’re not keen to overhaul them yourself then book an appointment with a brow specialist. After you have had them shaped you can use these three steps as a way to maintain your shape. Next week I’ll show you how to fill your brows without turning them into caterpillars. sweetpaintedladynz.com
nexus magazine
DICK PIC: PLEASE DON'T Aunty Slut
Dear Aunty Slut,
prove how massive you are, all you’re proving is that you’re a massive
When is it okay for me to send a girl a picture of my cock? I think
douche. If you have a big cock we can tell without you putting a Bic
I have a nice looking one, but I’m not getting too many favourable
lighter up against it, we have eyes! Besides, you all know how I feel
reviews and it’s denting my confidence. Thanks,
about guys who think their big cock’s size automatically makes them
Snap Happy
good lovers. Give me a smaller cock and a man who knows what to do with it and cares if I’m getting off over a douchey choad-head
Dear Snap Happy,
any day.
I’m a big fan of penis, but I don’t like being surprised by one. I like to
If you’re trying to woo someone, don’t send them a picture of your
know when a penis is on the cards before it gets all up in my face.
cock. I know you guys think we want naked pictures of you, because
I want to desire the presence of a penis in my personal space well before it arrives. I don’t like being flashed when I’m walking home, and I don’t like unsolicited dick pics. Shoving your cock at someone
“NO-ONE LIKES A CREEPY PORNO BONER
who hasn’t consented to see it is rude, vaguely threatening and
WHEN THEY’RE NOT EXPECTING IT.”
deeply unsexy. A dick pic is not flirting. If that’s what you’re using them for- stop doing it. Sending someone a dick pic when your only previous conversation is “Hey, what are you up to? I’m having dinner with my parents tonight, roast chicken, my favourite” is kind of like tea-bagging your mate who has passed out on the couch- comic, but not sexy or impressive in any way. If you want girls to laugh at your dick then send them an unsolicited dick pic. And just because Snapchat pics disappear after a while does not mean you should be snapping your junk to every girl on your contact list. It’s called a screenshot. You wear pants when meeting someone new for a reason. Wear pants when first chatting to girls too! I’m not interested in your dick pic if it’s you’re just exercising your ego. Pro tip: if you’re holding it up against an inanimate object to
you want naked pictures of us, but it’s just not quite that simple. A penis is not a valentine, or two xx at the end of a text. A disembodied cock is not sexy- it’s a log with a weird looking knob on the end. No-one likes a creepy porno boner when they’re not expecting it. If you must send me a dick pic, I want to see your sexy belly, and your sexy thighs and your sexy, sexy hand clenched around the base. Or even better, I want to see a suggestive bulge beneath your boxers. And if you’re sending me a dick pic, it better be a dick I know and love, or I’m going to laugh at you no matter how amazing you think your cock is. Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz
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nexus magazine
TOUGH ENOUGH New and Improved Fitness Lauren Barnard
It's a good thing for my ego that I've never considered
minded modern gladiators – it's beginning to seem like a
were my childhood staples, and who needs exercise endor-
really, monumentally, bad idea.
phins when you've got sweet, sweet junk food? I was the
Milly, a new personal trainer, informs me that usually only
jolly fat kid all my life, so lying on the ground with my legs in
half of the event demands actual running, because of the
the air while my team huffs and sweats is familiar territory.
long lines leading up to the obstacles. “I usually run it all,
They're in training, and training in earnest. The gym rumbles
though,” she winks at my dismayed, beetroot face.
with determined lungs and cheerful banter: we're still
The Tough Guy is based in the sulphurous heart of Rotorua,
mostly strangers, but the bond of mutual exertion grows
and my chubby inner child can already smell the brimstone.
rapidly. This dark, wintery morn-
But no pitchforks are present now; these folks are here of
ing we've congregated in the
their own volition, rocking out burpees and squat jumps
“IT'S A NEW COLOSSEUM; A PROVING
echoing UniRec Sports Hall to
like so many rice bubbles under the trainers' watchful eyes.
GROUND, FULL OF FIGURATIVE LIONS;
kick ass, take names, and get
When my new teammates break for a swig of water, I'm
A HUNGER GAMES LITE, WHERE WE ALL VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE.”
messy – and while the hard-
inundated with concerned inquiries, and the instructor gen-
working crew are alternately
tly advises me to stop being an idiot and put my feet back
chatting and army-crawling
in the air. To their eternal credit, not a single other wee-hour
toward those first two, I've got
warrior has dropped out of the class, despite pushing to the
messy covered, having earned
32
supportive UniRec staff, and the almost three dozen like-
myself 'tough'. Fish and chips, pies, ice cream, and nutella
nexusmag.co.nz
absolute limit. My invalid self is vicariously proud of them.
the dubious distinction of 'first to faint on the field'.
Entries are still open for those brave or foolhardy enough
The annual Tough Guy and Gal Challenge is a running race: a
to let the Tough Guy challenge their imaginations, and the
six or twelve kilometre slog through a mud-slick, obstacle-
more, the madcap-er! Personally, it'll probably take more
ridden course. It's a new Colosseum; a proving ground,
than the next five Thursday morning training sessions to
full of figurative lions; a Hunger Games lite, where we all
toughen me up for battle, but I'm already on the ground;
volunteer as tribute. And – despite the free bus travel, the
there's nowhere to go but up.
nexus magazine
DUNEDIN’S HEAVING Carnage Jules Craft
First off- mad love to those of you who rolled to the rugby with
The best night was my first flat party of Reo and ooweee did we
Two Kids, had a hell of a time and foamed out at the Outback.
have a blast. The place was located on Forth Street in an old school
Mad love and respect goes out to those three beautiful men who
white manor house where they had set up three human sized speak-
exposed themselves and gallivanted majestically across the field as
ers in the living room. I can’t explain just how overpopulated the area
20 security guards ran after them in their high-vis vests, I have never
was, but I can describe how moving through room felt like being
seen someone look so sexy in just a snapback, the lasses were going
faxed through a sea of sweaty bod-
crazy. The day after the Chief’s victory I flew out to travel down to
ies. Lucky there was heaps of talent
Otago to participate in their Reo week.
around though- I mean if I had to be
Sunday started off with a purchase of beverages and a complimen-
faxed through a sea of people I would
tary free bucket hat from the local liquor store. With my headwear
choose beautiful bodies of charging
sorted for the night I headed off to the Unicol flats to catch up with a
students. They also had a special set
few brethas from the mighty town of Gisborne. Memory of the night
of stairs leading downwards to “the
comes in flashes so I’ll give you three highlights.
rape dungeon.” Pretty horrible name
1. Everyone was wearing David Bain sweatshirts. There is such legit swagger that comes with wearing a giant tea cozy. 2. Dunedin cats are good cats. Heard so many crack up yarns and the locals were nothing but the best hosts they could possibly be. 3. Starters is actual walking distance from Unicol, not walking dis-
“THERE IS SUCH LEGIT SWAGGER THAT COMES WITH WEARING A GIANT TEA COZY.”
but it was the best place to escape the masses and find an empty toilet, funny that. The night ended with me sneaking into Unicol under the alias of Sam Norwood who was one of the bros I meet that night, had an epic chill out by the fire and had a yarn with the rinsers who were making their way home. Mad love so far. Still missing the
tance as in those random drunk strolls through Hillcrest from Victoria
Waikato- and I reckon we can do better this week. Who’s frothing
Street. Walking distance as in I could sneak back to grab more drinks
for Reo?
from the flat without breaking a sweat. We need this!
33
nexus magazine
HOW TO HOLD ON TO YOUR $$$ Cash Hacks Alix Higby
I’ve been on a major spending spree for the last 6 months surviv-
me twice the favours. My only concern is the price of a long black at
ing the Wild West that is California and as a result I have incurred
Momento. It’s coffee and water, man. Let’s not pretend. Decide how
a significant amount of debt (my student loan is this year cele-
often you need to eat and what kind of “food” you are willing to put
brating it’s 6th birthday). No surprises, I am now in financial recovery
in your mouth. For any normal human being this will be three times
mode. In order to recoup my sunken LA funds I will be stretching my
a day, and you draw the line at dirt. Bulk buy at the beginning of the
hard earned dollar to cover breakfast, lunch, dinner, debt repayments,
week and stock up on rice and tinned goods. Downsize your maccas
and enough booze to get me through my final semester. As we are all
runs to only after a night on the town, and only if it was really good
penniless students here, you should appreciate my findings.
or really really quite awful.
For my first suggestion, consider taking a look at the money you
The other massive overhead is your mobility. I live out of town
physically possess at this moment. For me, this means the last $200
where no public transport dares to venture so driving a car isn’t debatable. If you live close enough to walk or bike to uni and/or work
“...“MENTAL HEALTH DAY” AKA ONLINE GAMING OR PAINTING YOUR NAILS AND BITCHING PEOPLE OUT ON INSTAGRAM.”
– fucking do it! The only down side is that we’re mid winter and you might freeze to death but considering you’re so dirt poor you’re listening to me, is this really that bad? The other option is to spend O’week analysing which classes you can afford to miss every now and then. This means you can spend a day at home “saving petrol money” aka “mental health day” aka online gaming or painting your nails and bitching people out on Instagram.
I withdrew from my Bank of America account yesterday. I won’t be
Once you’ve sussed your major expenses, you can work on your
getting paid for another two weeks so I need to avoid breaking these
other variables and decide what you can and cannot live without. It
bills as long as possible. Upon emptying my NZ wallet I found a BP
is really quite handy having my cash right in front of me because I
gift card with $40 credit remaining and some gum. I have added the
can see it disappearing gradually rather than chucking a spaz at my
card to my stash but the gum looked spotty so I chucked it. Feel free
computer screen when I check my balance the day after pay day.
to scavenge for other such items of monetary value.
WHERE DID IT GO?! On stupid shit like sushi, usually. So there is your first lot of financial advice, from someone who is
prioritise my spending. Obviously food is a major, but I did eat a lot of
really really not qualified to be giving it. But hey, at least I won’t be
pizza in New York and In n’ Out in LA so scrimping here can only do
patronising. Only hypocritical.
PHOTOGRAPH: ANDRE KONG
Now I know how much I have to work with. The next thing is to
34
nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
“...HOW TO COMBINE A DELICATE MARY KATRANTZOU RESORT 2015
FASHIONABLE LOOK WITH THE PRACTICALITY YOU NEED TO SURVIVE IN THE WILD -- BEAR GRYLLS STYLE.”
RESORT 2015 TRENDS A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson
Dudes. Can we take a moment to collectively empathise for me as I
for technicoloured flowers embroidered on the knees of a wicked pair of
attempt to write an article when my head is fuzzier than a tweenage boy’s
mom-jeans.
chest hair. I asked my boyfriend (YEAH I KNOW) for ideas and he said I
Tie-Dye. Either Alexander Wang, Giles and Roberto Cavalli made their
should either write about how to dress like a serial killer or how to com-
models clean with bleach before showing their collections, or tie-dye is
bine a delicate fashionable look with the practicality you need to survive
coming back in. To get the look, try cleaning your bathroom for once.
in the wild -- Bear Grylls style. I decided to write about the Resort 2015 trends instead.
Peplums. In an attempt to show they care about flattering all bodies, designers such as 10 Crosby Derek Lam, Ellery and M. Missoni have
Hyper-Femininity. Personally, I find this rather distressing because I’m
taken on the peplum. The peplum, or the belly umbrella, is a common
about as feminine as The Big Bang Theory is funny. Midi-skirts, painted
tool used by women to communicate that they are also uncomfortable
and abstract florals, cinched-in waists and fucking pink and purple have
with their figure and that they would like to get Starbucks with you some
infected the Resort 2015 collections of such designers as Missoni, Louis
time this Friday.
Vuitton (lol) and Mary Katrantzou. Excuse me whilst I dry retch onto a faux-blonde girl’s chihuahua.
Different Stripes. As you probably already know, absolutely everyone looks sexy in sailor stripes, that’s right, you look sexy in sailor stripes, your
Vibrant Embroidery. Over-the-top and colourful embroidery was a run-
friends look sexy in sailor stripes, and even your parents look sexy in sailor
ning theme in the Resort 2015 collections. At Valentino, some garments
stripes. Sadly, sailor stripes barely made an appearance in the Resort 2015
were embroidered with renaissance-esque flowers, whilst others were
collections, instead such designers as Kenzo, Valentino, Marni and Chloé
embroidered with hundreds of giant butterflies. At Alexander McQueen,
opted for vertical and angled stripes in colours ranging from Halloween
dresses were covered in thousands of petals. Christopher Kane opted
orange to fucking pink and purple.
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nexus magazine
A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE Life of Pie The Pie Men
With the Junior Pieman missing (presumed some- (Technically they didn’t exist back then, but I don’t care, where in Otago drinking Speights), we have a
McFlurry’s are awesome.)
chance to dabble in something a little more serious.
Never in any pie tasting for this column had I been
Also, we can bitch about the fact that I had to drive to
filled with the same degree of trepidation. I had pre-
McDonalds to get a pie.
determined that I didn’t even need faithful replication,
Thomas Woolfe once wrote the words “You can never go home again...” While he may have been making a
simply honouring the spirit of Georgie Pie would be enough to get a glowing review.
valid point at the time, Mr Woolfe didn’t fully under-
Today I learned that you can NEVER go home again.
stand the transformative powers of the pastry. If it’s
Turns out that if you try, they not only burn your home
done right, a pie can take you back in time. It can evoke
down with all the occupants in it, they then piss over all
memories of a time long since gone. A bacon and egg pie reminds me of the one my grandmother cooked every winter, a butter chicken pie from BP makes me remember.... well, nothing actually because every time I have gotten one I have been completely wrecked. I guess any food can do that. But we don’t write an “any food” column so fuck it, let’s talk about the pie. For people around a certain age the idea of Georgie Pie conjures up memories of cheap food and family
“TURNS OUT THAT IF YOU TRY, THEY NOT ONLY BURN YOUR HOME DOWN WITH ALL THE OCCUPANTS IN IT, THEY THEN PISS OVER ALL THE ASHES.”
times. It was the local go-to in our family and I still remember my older brother driving in his beat up CRX to buy 40 pies from a drive-through when they had a 50 cent pie special. Georgie Pie was really where my love affair with
36
the ashes. $4.50 per pie is a disgrace. They are ruining my childhood and should suffer the consequences of their extremely profitable actions. The pie was burnt
the pie began. As a kid we got a mince or chicken pie,
and the filling was wrong. The only saving grace was
large fries and a thickshake. I wanted to recreate that
that McFlurry’s are awesome. Perhaps I should just
experience so I picked up my favourites. A chicken
write a McFlurry column.
pie and a steak and cheese, large chips and a large
The biggest disappointment is that I had to travel to
strawberry thick shake. For the sake of the experiment
buy a pie. Come on university build a fucking bakery
I should add that I also purchased an OREO McFlurry.
already. Mrs Macs is destroying young minds.
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nexus magazine
COLUMNISTS, REVIEWERS, FEATURE WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, BLOGGERS, DESIGNERS, CARTOONISTS AND ANYONE CAPABLE OF STRINGING TOGETHER A HALF LITERATE SENTENCE.
TO CONTRIBUTE TO NEXUS MAGAZINE EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
37
nexus magazine
REO2014 STUDENTS' UNION PRESIDENT AARON LETCHER
— Students of the Waikato, welcome home. Yes, that’s right – Home.
like the pack of degenerates that you are. You’re only a first year once
Because home isn’t where your family is, it isn’t where you grew up;
(unless you’re a bit simple), so make sure you go out every night to
it isn’t even where your heart is. Home is where there is always a
live it up and drink it down. Sure you’ll miss your 9am lectures, but
cold 24 box of Waikato Draught sitting in the fridge and a good time
you won’t even mind because if you wanted an education you would
to be had. Home is now Hamilton whether you like it or not. I’ll give
have gone to Victoria or Otago. You’re here for a good time, not a
you a moment to process that fact.
long time. Not because you plan on dying any time soon but because
You’ve travelled here from the far flung corners of the country. Huntly to Rotorua, Matamata to Pukekohe, and by no coincidence
sports and leisure “degrees” don’t actually take that long. Having spent a few days down in Dunedin last week for what I can
“YOU’RE ONLY A FIRST YEAR ONCE (UNLESS YOU’RE A BIT SIMPLE), SO MAKE SURE YOU GO OUT EVERY NIGHT TO LIVE IT UP AND DRINK IT DOWN.”
have all assembled here in the mighty Tron to celebrate what I can
only describe as a disappointing attempt at a Re-Orientation I can
only hope is a week of debauchery that would send a shiver down the
tell you hand on heart that they don’t party half as hard as they say
spine of your friends at lesser Universities - if they had a backbone.
they do. I didn’t see a single couch fire despite the frosty climate and
This is Re-ORI 2014. Hamilton is world famous for its student culture (provided you were born in Hamilton and haven’t travelled further afield) and with this
38
the bars were empty. They’ve set the bar low, so do me proud and show them how it’s done. Let’s turn Hamilton into Student City for the week, if not longer.
reputation in mind the Waikato Students’ Union and our good friends
The Waikato Students’ Union will be running a free shuttle service
at Two Kids at University, Bar101 and the notorious Outback Inn have
from the bus stop outside Unimart every night for the duration of
put together a line up that will have you on the dance floor looking
Re-O. Our drivers will be sober, but you better not be.
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nexus magazine
I’M AN APPRENTICE – WHERE DO I STAND? MELISA MARTIN FROM YWRC
— Mel Martin is the Educator at the YWRC and she is all too familiar with the processes of ACC, so thought she'd share some tricks of the trade. About 3000 young people seriously injure or harm themselves at work. That's people under the age of 25, and that number accounts for around half of the total statistic in New Zealand. So, since that many of you will need to cross the ACC bridge at some point, I thought I'd let First things first, if you're getting paid cash
SERIOUS SHIT!
in hand, you're not paying tax. Which means
AMBER CARDALE & LAURENCE MCLEAN
you're also not paying ACC levies; - which
—
you in on a few need-to-knows.
means ACC are not obliged to provide any accident cover for injuries sustained while you're at work. If you think of ACC as an insurance company, the company and its case managers are required to make sure you as a potential client have fulfilled all of your obligations before they start fulfilling theirs. For the small fee you pay each week you're
Each week this column presents to you some serious shit that your student support advocates are here to help you with. This week some fun, fast facts about our topic at hand and this week it’s about us! Can you spot the lie in each of our profiles? Amber the Advocate •
Has lived in three different countries.
•
Can usually be found listening to the greatest hits of the 80s and 90’s in the SUB Building and Level Zero.
entitled to a number of ACC services. These are things like injur y prevention programmes, which aim to reduce the occurrence and severity of injuries. It's medical
•
Has worked at the WSU for the past 2 and a half years as a Student Advocate.
•
Is passionate about fairness, justice, keeping students well informed of their rights and looking after our international students.
treatment, vocational rehabilitation, and then there's the compensation part. For people who can’t work, ACC covers 80% of their yearly wages after the first full week you have off work. And I learned this week, that your employer is obliged to make up the other 20% on the very first full week you have off work only. There is such a thing as one-off payments to people whose injuries have left them significantly and permanently impaired. This will be assessed by a physician and a psychologist. There are social rehabilitation services, such as attendant care for people who can't carry out normal home activities like child care,
•
Can function a whole day without coffee.
•
Is strangely obsessed with big macs, cider, slip n slides and go karting.
‘Laurence’ laying down the law! •
Is a current Law and Management student.
•
Currently flats with two females, they like to spend quality time together watching The Valleys and Geordie Shore.
•
Is passionate about helping students complete their studies, like a boss!
•
Has previously worked as an RA at the halls and tutor at the University.
•
His favourite thing to do in his spare time is writing 30 page theses.
•
housework, or personal care. ACC can also provide any equipment required, such as
Enjoys helping students through tough issues and seeing them succeed at University.
•
Is currently an eligible bachelor, looking for that special someone in his life.
wheelchairs, crutches, or home modifications. Contact: 0800 AT YWRC, ywrc@xtra.co.nz.
Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz
39
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NOTICES
New Club ACT ON CAMPUS
We are a group of like-minded students and young people who want New Zealand to be a prosperous, well-educated, healthy, and open society in which individuals are free to achieve their full potential. We want a growing, dynamic, and open economy, in which individual choice is paramount. We believe in lower taxes, less government, less red tape, personal responsibility and the rule of law.
IELTS Preparation Course
Need your cat de-sexed?
Are you bad at writing?
WEDNESDAY 16TH JULY
EDITOR@SALIENT.ORG.NZ
The national de-sex van is coming to the
If so then Salient, the student magazine of
(30 HOURS)
Pathways College is offering, IELTS courses, from September to November 2014. These courses are for people planning to take the IELTS exam for entering tertiary study or gaining a professional registration. Both courses will consist of 30 hours of teaching. Option 1, 29 September - 10 October, Monday to Friday, 9-12pm. Option 2, 29 October – 1 December, night courses from 5-7pm. For more information, see www.waikato.ac.nz/pathways/ community/english/ielts.shtml.
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Waikato SPCA on Wednesday.
Wellington wants you. Please submit a col-
We are able to offer CAT $40 de-sex-microchip
umn full of bad puns and unjustifiable opinion.
& registration. $20 for those who can only afford the de-sex. You must hold a Community Service or Super gold card. This service is available from July 9th through to August & September here at the centre, 219 Ellis Street, Frankton. You must come in or phone to make a booking, no booking-no de-sex. Phone 07 847 4868 10am - 4pm
Send any notices to editor@nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine
SAUSAGE RØLL Cooking for Students Zac Lyon
Al’righty you scallywags, you have now finished half of your academic year and are struggling to get back into things after a good laxing period. For some of you, you might be asking where A Semester went. For others, you’re too bloody excited for Re-O Week, a time to get hammered, find some attractive mates and party till the cows come home. Never fear for I am here (lyrical genius, I know!) with a simple recipe for a beloved snack, the quality sausage roll. I can honestly say, once you make these healthier versions you will never go back to store bought. Ingredients 6 pork sausages (Cumberland work great, or you can go for a mixture of beef and pork mince (500g)) ½ red onion (diced) 1 handful of sage leaves 1 sprig of rosemary Optional: can throw in carrots, apples, spinach or mushrooms for you healthy buggers. Salt and pepper 400g puff pastry block (not pre-rolled) 1 egg Directions 01_ Rip open your sausage and harvest the sausage
meat inside into a large bowl.
02_ Quickly fry off your onion till soft and thrown
into the bowl with mince mixture.
03_ Roughly chop sage and rosemary and throw in
with a nice dash of salt and pepper.
04_ Roll out your pastry blocks (normally come in
two 200 g blocks) into two long rectangles.
05_ Spoon out mixed mince mixture into long
sausages the length of your pastry.
06_ Whisk the egg with a tablespoon of water to
make an egg wash for your pastry.
07_ Brush egg wash on the inside of your pastry
before you roll it up nice and tightly. Brush the
outside of your sausage roll with the egg wash
again before baking.
08_ Throw into a preheated oven at 180C for around
20 mins or until pastry is puffed and golden brown.
Head over to Cooking4Students facebook page or youtube channel to more recipes. 41
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Codewords
Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.
KenKen
Sequence
The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the
Which shape does this map
upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target num-
fold in to?
ber” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5, your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)
A
Syllabic
B
1. Very small: 2. Explosive missile:
From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.
3. Make senseless: 4. 150th anniversary:
a - ac - al - ar - cen - ci - cial - dent - do - e - fi
5. Chance:
C
- fin - fy - green - gup - i - i - in - mal - ni - ni - op - pe - phy - pi - por - py - qui - ses - stu ten - tes - ti - tor - tro - tu - ty - ver
6. Unexpected happening: 7. Wasting away: 8. Not real: 9. Tree, shrub: D
10. Small tropical fish: Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,
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nexusmag.co.nz
HARD
MEDUIM
column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.
EASY
Sudoku
nexus magazine
Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.
Crossword
Solve the clues and fill in the words. Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.
Across
41. Fraudulence (6)
78. Allow (6)
the tail (8)
45. Glitter (7)
1. Number (7)
42. Crafty (3)
80. Greek letter (4)
10. Beverage (3)
46. Doglike mammal (5)
3. Lariat (5)
43. Bombastic (6)
81. Pupils (8)
11. State of public disorder (4)
48. Part of a castle or
6. Small mallet (5)
47. Prank (5)
86. Arms (7)
13. Defensive wall (7)
fortress (4)
9. Woodland deity (5)
49. Forthright (6)
88. Graceful (7)
14. Referee (6)
50. Mother-of-pearl (5)
12. Large spider (9)
51. Eerie (6)
90. Stubborn (9)
19. Ill-fated (6)
53. Out of fashion (5)
15. Household implement (7)
52. Sailing vessel (5)
91. Fragment (5)
21. Hoard (5)
54. Rearing (7)
16. Fruit (7)
55. Canny (6)
92. Tripod (5)
22. Flightless bird (7)
55. Desert plant (6)
17. Stress (8)
56. Perform (3)
93. Recess (5)
23. Ally (6)
58. Compass direction (5)
18. Notion (4)
57. Colony of rabbits (6)
94. Thin (7)
25. Before time (5)
60. Musical note (5)
20. Subjects (6)
59. Bane (7)
Down
27. Quick (5)
61. Reverberation (4)
24. Frighten (5)
63. Serene (4)
1. Countries (7)
29. Group of three
62. Severe (6)
26. Uncommon (4)
65. Dialect (6)
2. Scope (5)
musicians (4)
64. Spear (5)
28. Evocative (8)
66. Measly (6)
3. South American animal (5)
31. Lap (7)
68. Memory loss (7)
82. Type of bee (5)
30. Happen (5)
67. Breath in (6)
4. Unintelligent (6)
32. Intended (5)
69. Musical instrument (8)
83. Grab (5)
32. Ripe (6)
71. Relating to one of the
5. Portent (4)
35. Ice hut (5)
70. Court game (6)
84. Exchange (4)
33. Season (6)
bones in the forearm(5)
6. Fuel (3)
37. Decree (5)
73. Flags (7)
85. Sew (4)
34. Potion (6)
72. Compliant (8)
7. Small settlement (7)
38. Ado (4)
76. Non-professional (7)
87. Simian (3)
36. Yield (4)
74. Item of footwear (4)
8. Jumped (5)
40. Callow (5)
77. Unchanging (6)
89. Snakelike fish (3)
39. Irritated (7)
75. Irrational motive (5)
9. Arachnid with a sting in
44. Twelve dozen (5)
79. One of the senses (5)
84. Notion (4)
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BUY ONLINE
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