Nexus Magazine No. 14 2014

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N.14 / V.46



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nexus magazine

EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ DESIGN HAYLIE GRAY

CONTENTS

MANAGING EDITOR JAMES RAFFAN

CONTRIBUTORS SPORTS GUY DR RICHARD SWAINSON

_03

Editorial

_04

Lettuce to the Editor

_05

News

_08

News from the University

_09

Sport

_10

Ridiculist & Vox Pops

_11

Reviews

_14

Honest Matt

_15

Horoscopes & Playlist

_16

Auteur

_17

Arts and Stuff

_18

Travel

_20

Stay Calm

_22

Dream Interpretation: Truth or

HP JULES CRAFT MATT HICKS BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF AUNTY SLUT ZAC LYON MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE RYAN WOOD THE PIE MEN KARL GUETHERT RENÉE BOYER-WILLISSON DARCIE ALEX BARLOW LOUISE HUTT SWEET PAINTED LADY LAUREN BARNARD LAURENCE MCLEAN GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY SARA LEMME CHRISTY GIBBS MADAME OLGA MELISSA C. WILLS COVER ART LARA BROCK FACEBOOK.COM/LARABROCKART PHOTOGRAPHY BROOK JAMES PHILLIP WONG

Bullshit

CAM ROBINSON ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ OFFICES

_24

Manifest Destiny!

_27 Columns _39

Advice

GROUND FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO

_40 Notices

KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON

_41 Recipe ONLINE NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ FACEBOOK.COM/NEXUSNZ @NEXUSMAG SPOTIFY: NEXUSMAGAZINE

2

nexusmag.co.nz

_42 Puzzles


nexus magazine

EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT

L

ast week I had the dubious pleasure of sitting in on a WSU

The scariest part for me is that I don’t even realise I’m doing it.

board meeting. They were discussing changes that Aaron

I’m trying to do better- I’m putting my phone down more often

wishes to make to the constitution. (That’s the thing than

and it’s on silent most of the time. I’m turning my data off overnight

governs the WSU- so it’s pretty important stuff.) While the list of things that concerned me about that meeting are legion- one issue in particular stood out for me: the gratuitous use of cell phones. They say people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones- so I want

so I don’t get the constant alerts. But if I’m being really honest- last night proves that I’m failing. That constant pull is almost impossible to ignore. That’s why I tried really hard to be understanding about the entire board staring at their phones instead of at their President while mak-

to note right here that I am terrible at being rude to people I love by

ing a decision that could fundamentally alter the way our WSU is run.

using my cell phone. Just last night I had a hot date with a lovely

But I couldn’t. I was appalled by it. Facebook, texting, snapchat… god

man and at one point in the evening he accused me of not listening

knows what else. I often try to justify my phone use by saying that’s

to him. I hotly denied this, but when he asked me details about what

it’s work (it often is, but even that’s a shitty excuse.) But there is no

he’d been saying I couldn’t remember them. I didn’t even know the

way on earth that Snapchat could ever be described as ‘working’.

name of the guy in the story. Why didn’t I know? Because I had been checking my facebook messages on my phone. In the grand scheme of things I’d rather be on a hot date with a sexy beast than on my cell phone- but that insidious flashing light

The meeting was long and hideously boring. I could have done any number of things with that two and a half hours of my life I’ll never get back. But I was there, cell phone off, taking notes so that Nexus could let you guys know what’s going on.

really gets to me. What if it’s work? What if it’s a family emergency?

I asked Aaron about the policy regarding cell phone use during

What if it’s really, really important? So you check your phone to find

board meetings and he said they take a “relaxed” view of it. I wonder

you’ve been messaged by an old school friend who found an article

if he’ll change his mind when he sees the number of Snapchats that

you might find interesting. And in doing so, you miss out on real life.

were sent of him with cocks drawn on his face?

3


LETTUCE

nexus magazine

Blue Balls BLUE BALLS

When someone’s literally making your job easier, and doing it without getting paid, you don’t fucking make them pay you money for the privilege. Oh, also, the chick in the van who was going on about how the cop was hot and how she likes a man in uniform – I love you. You made the cunt real uncomfortable.

Dear Nexus

Karma’s a bitch, and I love you for laying down that law.

After spending a decent amount of cash on reo activitys and missing a shit load of classes I only have one question How did I not get laid? I mean I drank enough to be able to lower my standards and even had a free van

Stop Acting

and a room to crash in, but somehow the ladies were not buying it. To the girl who grabbed my cock at 101 on

A.RON LITCHER

wednesday I thank you for giving me my only hint of sexual pleasure for the week, but surely theres got to be more I mean its milking season so surely all the hamilton hephers havent all dryied up. come on ladies help a brother out.

Dear irrelevant (ACT on campus) Three questions: 1: Why are you a thing? 2: What degree of success did you expect to have,

Not Everyone Loves Football

telling students that interest free student loans aren’t a good thing? (Appealing to your target market- do you even attempt this motherfuckers?) 3: Does it feel bad to support a party less popular than chlamydia?

EVERYONE

To the guy who said soccer isn’t worse than genocide. Yes it is.

Honestly! THE GHOST OF ANTONIE DIXON

Oink DRUNK GUY IN THE VAN

Why is he called honest Matt meets? I have been reading his shit for two years now and it should be called “A guy named matt sucks up to indie bands that no cunt has ever heard of.” Seriously though what is so honest

I’m going to give away the plot of this story early. That plot is cops are cunts. Don’t know how many of you rocked the vans that the

DISCLAIMER:

WSU was putting on, but those guys are GCs. I mean,

Letters published contain the opinion of

fuck spending all of REO driving drunk cunts to and

the writer and the writer alone. Nexus

from town. But anyway, I was in a van on Tuesday night

publications take no responsibility for the

heading back to uni when a cop decided to pull over the

content or opinions so expressed. By sub-

van. Long story short, cop got upset that there were too

mitting your letter you give consent to its

many people in the van, kicked out half the drunks from

publication in Nexus and subsequent pub-

the van then fined the GC driver.

lic scrutiny. Letters are the authors own

Seriously, what the actual fuck? The cop went on about

work and Nexus will not edit to compen-

drunk guys taking out the van and killing people, but

sate for lack of intelligence or coherency.

that’s a what if. Let’s be honest, if those vans weren’t

Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse

there, there would be more drunk drivers on the road,

to publish any letter which breaches any

more students walking home either getting assaulted or

law, is defamatory to any person, or con-

smashing people’s letterboxes/fences. That’s not a what

tains threats of violence or hate speech.

if, that’s a guarantee.

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about a guy asking the same standard questions” He’s more formulaic Matt than honest. If he was Honest he would realise that he is a bit of a talentless interviewer and he should stick to his mediocre rugby career and pouring pints at a pub in Cambridge.

Got something to say? Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz


nexus magazine

NEWS CLUSTERFUCK: WSU EDITION - A SPECIAL GENERAL MEETING A NEXUS NEWS EDITORIAL

— There is a old adage that says there are two things you never want to see while they get made: laws and sausages. After last week we can add Special General Meetings to that list.

on pushing through any changes to the role prior to the election of a new VP Maori. During a spirited debate in which most of the executives were busy on their phones or had lit-

The Waikato Students’ Union board met on Tuesday

erally left the room, a number of questions were

last week and decided to call a Special General

raised including whether or not the WSU should

Meeting to amend some sections of the constitu-

remove the VP-Maori title. The new VP-Maori

tion- specifically those relating to the Vice-President

Steffan Van Lieshout suggested “ the perception of

Maori and some provisions that have been largely

being ‘demoted’ to director would lessen the mana

redundant since the passing of VSM.

attached”. He did however endorse making position

The curiosity isn’t in the fact that the action has

ex-officio because “it gives the ropu a better voice.

been taken, but rather in the manner in which it was

With the three ropu on campus working together to

taken, the debate that arose around it and the nature

make one group it should be easy to get a candidate

of that conversation (in what was an unusually open

everyone is happy with.”

dialogue in a very public forum). Let’s start by getting the simple message out of the way because we don’t want to let the rest of the

The move is also backed by freshman director Sam Marelich “since the ropu are demonstrating they can work together.”

dialogue get in the way of what is an important deci-

The key concern seemed to be around time frames

CONFLICT IN THE MIDDLE EAST MOVES FROM LETTUCE TO NEWS GABRIEL BANKIER-PERRY

— The conflict in the Gaza strip has steadily escalated over the last week as Israeli forces continue a military engagement codenamed Operation Protective Edge. There have now been over 1,000 reported strikes and according to Israeli Prime Minister Benyamin Netanyahu it’s unlikely that the strikes will cease anytime soon.

sion. The WSU resolved to call a special meeting in

and the need to move quickly, with appointed direc-

LG.01, Wednesday 30th July 2014, at 1pm. For an SGM

tors Kate Lunn, and Catherine Monckton and Zanian

"No international pressure will prevent Israel from continu-

to occur 250 WSU Members are required to attend

Steele all expressing a desire to take more time and

ing its operation in Gaza. The leaders of Hamas are hiding

and be present for the entirety of that meeting. Those

be better prepared.

members have to have signed up prior to the day of the SGM. On the agenda are motions to remove redundant

Director Johnny Ryan (referred to as the “litmus

behind the citizens of Gaza, and they are responsible for all casualties," said Netanyahu.

paper and the voice of the average student”) and

Reports estimate that since the commencement of

wanted to see more options, and General Manager

Protective Edge on July 8 th, over a hundred Palestinians,

clauses from the constitution, the rephrasing of a

Dave West wanted it noted that he had some serious

civilians have been killed, and a further thousand wounded.

couple of clauses that are particularly embarrassing

concerns about the action.

At the time of print no Israeli fatalities had been reported

(like the one that states “The WSU President will be

The end result of the concern around speed, time

but there had been up to two dozen resulting casualties.

the representative on the University council”, which

frames and even options is that the board voted

This is due in large part to both the crude, home-made

we all know he lost the right to in the last election),

unanimously to call the SGM and will discuss four

nature of the Palestinian rockets and the sophisticated “Iron

some phrasing changes around the adherence to

possible outcomes around the VP Maori position.

Dome Missile Defence System.”

the principles of Te Tiriti O Waitangi which has been

Those options are:

comically misspelled in both the official posted notice and the minutes, and of course the restructuring of the VP Maori position- because apparently the WSU

·A general election will be held and the VP Maori will be elected by all students (the status quo) ·The position will be filled ex-officio by a person

According to one UN agency, two-thirds of those injured are women and children. “We have received deeply disturbing reports that many of the civilian casualties, including of children, occurred as a

have 99 problems are most of them are adequate

nominated to a representative role within the ropu

result of strikes on homes," said UN high commissioner for

ways to structure Maori representation.

groups on campus (no election)

human rights Navi Pillay. "Such reports raise serious doubt

For those of you who are gluttons for punish-

·An election will be held but only persons identify-

about whether the Israeli strikes have been in accordance

ment we have published the full notice in place of

ing as Maori will be able to vote for the position (a

with International Humanitarian Law and International

President's column this week. However the most

Maori electoral roll will be created)

Human Rights Law."

·A general election will be held but criteria will be

Tension had been rising in the area for weeks following

“The role of Maori representation is large and

introduced requiring candidates to show they have

the kidnapping and murder of three Israeli teenagers in June,

dynamic. It may not be practicable to expect the per-

connection with, and endorsement by the Maori

and the alleged retaliatory burning-alive of a Palestinian

son holding that office to also undertake duties of a

community

teen shortly thereafter.

interesting phrasing comes in motion 2:

more administrative nature, that time and effort may

Should the WSU board reach the 250 members

The ensuing conflict led to Israeli armed forces arrest-

be better applied in the area of Maori engagement.”

required to hold the SGM it will up to them to deter-

ing hundreds in the West Bank many of whom were only

mine the fate of the VP Maori position.

recently released in a prisoner swap agreement.

Contentious phrasing aside, the WSU seem intent

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nexus magazine

CYCLE SAFETY CAMPAIGNER CAUSES CHAOS SARA LEMME

— Hamilton blogger and social media activist Max Coyle has created controversy by converting a story published about the accidental death of cyclist Margaret Mary Pouw into a story about rape. The original New Zealand Herald article, written by Nikki Preston was titled ‘I didn’t have time to brake’. Coyle’s analogous re-write, was titled ‘I didn’t have time to ask permission’ and replaced keywords throughout the story to shift the tone from a courier driver crashing into the cyclist to a man raping a woman. Mr Coyle stated that he had taken the action to draw attention to “...the culture of victim blaming and shaming, whether

BAD YEAR TO BE AN AMERICAN GIRL JAMES RAFFAN

that's rape victims, cyclists, whomever." Waikato Police District Commander, Superintendent Bruce Bird has stated there will be action on “behalf of [rape] victims”, the statement also suggested that it was the view of the police that Mr Coyles actions trivialises the issue of rape and they intend to look into legislation to see if they can hold Coyle to account

The United States Supreme Court concluded this year's judicial term

Coyle said he has been contacted “by four female rape

by ruling 5-4 that not only can corporations have religious freedom

survivors thanking me for what I've done, my post and

but that freedom supersedes the right of their employees. The case

my newspaper coverage, and countless cyclists.” He also

was brought to the supreme court by Hobby Lobby, a small chain of

took issue with a quote by Waikato Road Policing Manager,

craft stores who argued successfully that they should not have to pay

Inspector Freda Grace.

for things like female contraception or the morning after pill because it violates their co-operations right to freedom of religion. In delivering their majority opinion the justices noted that it followed from the

gear, your bike is in good condition ... you are fit for the road,"

Citizen’s United decision earlier that “corporations were people” and

In Coyle’s replacement version it read “ensuring safety is

if that is a legal standing then as people they have inalienable rights

paramount in your mind. You are wearing respectable modest

such as freedom to practice their religion and uphold its principles.

clothing, your hair and makeup do not attract attention … you

So there you have it, not only are corporations people now but some

don’t appear over attractive when in public.”

of them are devoutly religious. It also caps a year of really anti-female decisions from the court including removing a safe protest free zone for women to go to abortion clinics. Because if protesters had to stay 30 feet away it would violate their free speech. In other words there has never been a better time to be an American woman, provided you don’t actually live in America.

“...CORPORATIONS HAVE RELIGIOUS FREEDOM BUT THAT FREEDOM SUPERSEDES THE RIGHT OF THEIR EMPLOYEES.”

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Grace stated in the original article that "ensuring safety is paramount in your mind. You are wearing high visibility

nexusmag.co.nz

At the time of print Mr Coyle has refused calls for him to remove the post.


nexus magazine

NO, IT’S BASICALLY A CRIME SHORT NEWS

— National MP Claudette Hauiti last week said she had committed a “Massive Boo Boo” when she used her parliamentary charge card to pay for a trip to Australia, a couple of hundred dollars worth of refreshment spending and a bunch of other small items. Just for clarification’s sake, a boo-boo is when a five year old skins their knee and their mother kisses it better. What she did was misappropriation of funds, a falsehood and confirmation that politicians are out of touch bloodsucking leeches who are feathering their own nests that borders on fraud. If you tried that shit at your work you would be fired.

NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX STONER SHORT NEWS

THIS WEEKS ISSUE: THE UNIVERSAL STUDENT ALLOWANCE *ANGELS SINGING* NEXUS DOES THE ELECTION

— The notion that all students, regardless of age or parental support, are entitled to an equal living allowance while they are studying. Currently: The student allowance is available for a maximum period of 200 weeks to all those over

Karl Robert Glick a 26 year old Californian man has been arrested for stealing beeswax. Police found 91kg of beeswax which Mr Glick said he had stolen from various hives to sell to candlemakers in order

24, and 17- 24 if their parents earn below the relevant threshold; it is then available for only 120 weeks to those over 40 and is not available to anyone over 65, studying at a postgraduate level or less than full time.

to buy drugs. This makes you wonder exactly how stoned you have to be to come up with a wax based economy and a hive heist. This man shouldn’t be arrested he should be busy writing Transformers 5, it would be fucking amazing.

What The Parties Are Promising: Labour - This was the big student focused proposal from Labour during the ’08 election campaign with a plan to increase the parental threshold and then eventually abolishing it if they were to win the election, (which they didn’t). In their 2011 policy the universal allowance had magically vanished. National - John Key at the time called it an “interesting idea” but said it wasn’t on the cards.

ARACHNOPHOBIA MEETS BACKDRAFT SHORT NEWS

Since winning the election, the allowance entitlement has become more restricted with the parental threshold being frozen. They also removed all exceptions to the 200 week limit for long courses (such as medicine) in 2012. Signs so far aren’t showing a wild ‘pro-universal allowance’ National appearing any time soon. NZ First - Winston notoriously never shuts up about how they were first to suggest this idea back

in the 90s and still stands strongly by it for all full-time students.

A Washington man caused $60,000 worth of property damage when

idea of lifelong learning.

Greens - Support a universal allowance at the level of the unemployment benefit and the general

he fashioned a homemade blowtorch to kill a spider on the corner. First and foremost we have to say that is about the coolest over-

Maori Party - Support a universal allowance at the level of the unemployment benefit. Internet Mana – unable to find official stance on either Party’s site, however Mana’s policies are

reaction we have ever seen to a spider, it’s almost like he had a rolled

very focussed on economic justice and welfare. Members have also expressed support for a universal

up newspaper and thought “wait I can do better.” Secondly, it feels

allowance.

like this is a story they will come back to in three weeks with the headline ‘Detectives find 16 bodies buried in the ruins’: fly/blowtorch story bullshit.

The Conservatives - are crazy. Act – their website has nothing available on the matter but their entire tertiary page consists of three lines so just take a guess at their stance.

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nexus magazine

NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY

GET MICROSOFT OFFICE FREE — We are giving you Microsoft Office 365 free, just for being a student. You can download the latest version of Office 365 on up to five computers or five mobile devices. The software is free to use as long as you’re a student here. Visit

GET SORTED FOR B SEMESTER

www.office.com/getoffice365 and enter your student email address and password to download your free copy.

— Make sure you get your enrolment for B Semester sorted. If you are adding or changing papers, you need to go to iWaikato and complete a Change of Enrolment form as soon as possible before the end of this week. If you need help, go to the Student Administration desk on level 2 of the Student Centre or phone 0800 Waikato.

3MT COMPETITION — The Three Minute Thesis (3MT) is an academic competition for research students held during Postgraduate Month in October. Candidates have just three minutes to present their thesis and its significance to a lay audience. Applications

MAORI LANGUAGE WEEK SMOKEFREE CAMPUS - #WAITEREO — —

The University of Waikato Hamilton campus is now totally

This week is Maori Language Week and the theme this

environment for everyone. If you smoke, please make sure to

year is Te Kupu o te Wiki – The Word of the Week. Head to

leave the campus before smoking. More information, includ-

Smokefree as part of our commitment to provide a healthy

open on 1 August and heats are held in September. www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/postgraduate/3mt

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the University’s facebook page for the phrase of the day,

ing a map showing the campus boundaries, is available at

information about free seminars, lectures and activities, and

www.waikato.ac.nz/about/smokefree.shtml. Please

links to helpful sites where you can brush up on your te reo.

note St John’s College grounds are also Smokefree.


nexus magazine

NBA FREE AGENCY NEWS PART TWO SPORTS GUY - OPINION

— Big news for all you bandwagon fans out there. It looks like you’ll all be supporting the Cleveland Cavaliers next year after LeBron James (SF) agreed to a 2 year contract with his hometown team worth around the $42 million mark.

WHY BRAZIL DISAPPOINTED AT THE FOOTBALL WORLD CUP.

— Chris Bosh will sign a 5 year extension with the Miami Heat.

SPORTS GUY - OPINION

In one of the stranger moves so far this free agency, aging sharpshooter Paul Pierce (SF) will be playing his basketball alongside John Wall next year, taking up a 2 year contract with the Washington Wizards. — Trevor Ariza (SF) has penned a 4 year deal with the Houston

If you remember back to my picks to win the Football World Cup, I did not think Brazil had what it took to win; I picked Germany to take it out as they had the most well rounded team of any. For those of you who still thought Brazil were going to win it, here’s my opinion of what went wrong.

Rockets, who look poised to miss out on resigning their current SF Chandler Parsons (looks like he’s going to Dallas at this point) — The Utah Jazz are willing to match any offer for Gordon Hayward (SG/SF). Keeping him is their #1 priority this off season. They’ve matched the Charlotte Hornets’ $63 million offer for him. — Vinsanity is set to hit Memphis, with Vince Carter (SF) signing a multiyear deal to join the Grizzlies. —

Brazil play with a ‘you’ll win as long as you score more goals than your opponent’ mentality. Simply put, this means Brazil are not a defensive minded team. This mindset was acceptable in the group stages, but needed to change when it came into the round of 16 and beyond. Teams don’t qualify for the round of 16 unless they can play football and this was proven with Brazil scraping through their matches against Chile (which they only won on penalties) and Columbia. Their semi final match was against Germany. To go into a game against a team as clinical and star studded as

After the departure of Thabo Sefalosha (SG) to the Atlanta

the German outfit was, you have got to be on your game.

Hawks, the Oklahoma City Thunder have signed Anthony

Germany are a team who, while not renowned for their goal

Morrow (SG) as they look to add depth and 3pt shooting

scoring, are able to put the ball in the net at a fast rate if

to their bench.

you sit back and watch it happen – which is exactly what

— Isaiah Thomas (PG) has be acquired by the Phoenix Suns in a sign-and-trade deal. However with Bledsoe and Dragic still on the books, he’s looking like an early 6th man of the year contender.

Brazil did. Now, I know they were missing Neymar and Thiago Silva in the semi final, but in all honesty does anyone think having these two players in the squad would have changed the result all that much? I certainly don’t.

— Indiana have signed “one of the best shooters in Europe” in the form of 6-10 Croatian forward Damjan Rudez.

The same thing happened in the playoff for 3 rd and 4 th against the Netherlands. Brazil pushed everyone up on attack and were caught out on defence. They were better in this game, but they still lacked defensive discipline that a championship calibre team must have. Brazil need to look to bring in defenders who actually, you know, defend rather than attacking defenders like David Luiz who are more interested in scoring goals than stopping them.

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nexus magazine

RIDICULIST

VOX POPS

Ridiculous ways people try to make their assign-

Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.

ments look less rushed.

Kayley, CUP course.

1 A really BIG font. If you're under the word count, that font won't hide it.

2

What's your number one way to de stress? Have a milo and watch prison break. What's the weirdest thing you've done to stay healthy? Went on a lemon honey and ginger diet. It worked. What do you want to change about your B semester timetable and why? Still figuring out tuts - hopefully no classes on Friday.

Bold, italics, or underlined anything. Seriously? It's a two page essay on Batman. It doesn't need a pithy title.

Heidi, Physio. What's your number one way to de stress? Hot shower. What's the weirdest thing you've done to stay healthy? Gone on a liquid only

3 Handed in 10 minutes early. It's still warm from the printer, and even a glance at

diet. What do you want to change about your B semester timetable and why? All classes with even breaks between rather than back to back.

the front page tells us you pulled an all-nighter.

4

Kirthana, BBA. What's your number one way to de stress? Watch a movie. What's

Dodgy References.

the weirdest thing you've done to stay healthy? Nothing. Stay inside

They're in five different fonts and seven different

and watch movies from under my blanket. What do you want to

sizes, and they're all from wikipedia. One's APA,

change about your B semester timetable and why? Maybe stats

one's MHRA, and the rest are just odd looking.

shouldn't be so early.

5 2.5, 3 or 4 point spacing. Usually used in conjunction with a big font, the amount of white space on the page is an instant red-flag, and matches the colour of your eyes.

Naveen, Law and Psychology. What's your number one way to de stress? Hang with friends. What's the weirdest thing you've done to stay healthy? Not eat at all. What do you want to change about your B semester timetable and why? Nothing really, it's alright.

6 Pictures or diagrams when the assignment didn't ask for them. We don't read your essay for the pictures, this is not a porno mag.

7

Thabo, Computing and Mathematical Sciences. What's your number one way to de stress? Sports. What's the weirdest thing you've done to stay healthy? Nothing. Just watch movies. What do you want to change about your B semester timetable and why? I would like a day off.

The handwritten "it was only five minutes late!" note. It is never, ever only five minutes late, as anyone who has ever met someone for coffee can attest.

Richard, Computer Science. What's your number one way to de stress? Music. What's the weird-

8 The "I can't afford printing" excuse. And yet somehow the other sixty-two students figured it out.

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est thing you've done to stay healthy? Shower. What do you want to change about your B semester timetable and why? Bad. Need another day off.


nexus magazine

Grace of Monaco FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes FILM REVIEW BY DARCIE

250 words are insufficient to do justice to the shortcomings of this would-be biopic of Grace Kelly. Nicole Kidman is miscast in the title role, being too long in the tooth, too red-headed and just too dissimilar physically and as an actress. Why did she not at least dye her hair blonde? Why did she not attempt Kelly's distinctive accent? Did the producers not think there would be issues of credibility around the fact that a 32 year old woman of legendary beauty is being played by a 47 year old who long ago butchered her face with a combination of plastic surgery and botox? Hypothetically, if you had never heard or seen images of the actual Oscar-winner-turned-princess, Kidman's performance might pass. However, the film itself never settles on one particular story or theme. It attempts to be about several things at once: Grace's dithering over a return to Hollywood, the problems in her marriage, spying and espionage in the court of Monaco and Charles De Gaulle's attempts at annexing the principality. Whilst individual moments have a fleeting type of dramatic power and the supporting cast isn't bad, the script is overly wordy and the direction stylistically wayward, with an overuse of extreme closeups and steadicam shots. An ending in which the princess saves her country from the might of France through heartfelt oratory alone comes off as fanciful nonsense and there are no hints of the actual problems that later beset the Grimaldi fairytale: drinking and infidelity.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is every bit as impressive as it was made out to be, with new director Matt Reeves. Although he’s not a big player in the directing world just yet, he’s likely to be heading that way now. A fantastic continuation of the first movie which, although quite slow initially, made up for it with everything else. The special effects were amazing of course and a step up from the first movie by being eerily realistic, particularly in some of the newer additions to the ape family. The story goes a bit darker than the first, as it’s shown a bit in the future when there has been a virus outbreak and the human population is dwindling. Caesar as the alpha ape has to deal with his conflicting feelings about humans as they come into the apes’ home in search of power sources in order to survive. Once the ball starts to roll, it’s quite obvious what’s happening in the wider scheme of things, and those familiar with the allegorical and dystopian nature of George Orwell’s Animal Farm will likely pick up on things even quicker, seeing the kind of story that is being told. Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell and Kodi Smit-McPhee as some of the new additions worked well in the movie, as of course did the ape regulars. Andy Serkis definitely takes the cake though in bringing Caesar to life.

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nexus magazine

Sincerely Yours

The Codes

ALBUM REVIEW BY ALEX BARLOW

ALBUM REVIEW BY HP

Fresh off the success of Gas Pedal, Sage the Gemini’s insane club

With his last album, Under the Influence, PNC was in the midst of

banger, the song that launched a thousand twerk videos, Iamsu!

some serious difficulties; love, life, lyrics. With some complexity came

releases his debut album. Iamsu! was featured on the song and runs

some amazing expression, but with his new album, The Codes, that

the record label HBK gang which signed Sage. Songs like Gas Pedal

turmoil has fuelled an all-out attack. The beats are bigger, the subject

and Red Nose put a spotlight on the talent coming out of the San

matter broader and the willingness to push boundaries is evident

Francisco Bay Area and Iamsu! is showing the Hip Hop world why

right from the second track. Needless to say, this album might be

they should be paying attention.

PNC’s best.

The album is long at 19 tracks and can feel a bit all over the place at

With PNC amped up and throwing out his rhythmic lyrical complexi-

times but Iamsu! switches up his style and flow regularly throughout

ties like its spring cleaning, the new album has so much energy. His

the album and there are only a couple of skip-able tracks. He can be

latest single, 100 cups, mixes sweet and sour vocal samples and

relaxed and cruisy on songs like Girls where he sings about getting

stretching electronica-inspired beats with PNC rhyming like his life,

high on a date and he gets lyrical on the title track rapping about

or at least his next drink, depends on it. The celebratory feel pops up

becoming one of the greats without making all their mistakes. He is

again on songs like Ride with Shapeshifter’s P. Digggs, but it’s PNC’s

heavily influenced by Kanye West and has a Drake feel in the way he

signature flow covering important topics that is centre stage here.

utilises both rapping and singing. He features several other Bay Area artists on the album as well as

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He’s able to use those slick rhymes to sweep through dubstep to R ‘n’ B, with the slow jam grooves proving just as successful as high

Wiz Khalifa, 2 Chainz, Sage the Gemini and Dizzy Wright. If you’re

energy beats. What should have been the peak with David Dallas on

only interested in his turn up club songs you’re not alone; his slower

Kobe and LeBron, lacks one of the great hooks filling the rest of the

songs aren’t bad and are worth a listen but the jumping tracks are

album, but with such finicky little details being an issue says more

where Iamsu! really shows his strengths. Most of these songs are

about the achievement of this album than any criticism. He makes

found towards the end of the album, with his fast halting flow on The

sure his music is accessible and funky. Continuing to strike a balance

Weather standing out the most.

remains one of his greatest assets.

nexusmag.co.nz


nexus magazine

2312 BOOK REVIEW BY RENÉE BOYER-WILLISSON

Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT

In 2312 Kim Stanley Robinson creates a vivid and richly imagined picture of our world 300 years from now. It is obvious that he has thought about this world in great detail, but this becomes one of its weaknesses as well as a strength. The story’s protagonist, Swan, and her love interest Wahram are interesting, as are many aspects of the story. The main issue I had with the book was that 2312 doesn’t quite know what it is trying to be. The love story gets lost in the ‘who-dunnit’ aspect of the story, the mystery gets lost in the environmental warning; the warning gets lost in the ‘brave new world’ idea, which in turn gets lost in the social and political commentary. There are some lovely cinematic scenes, like the ‘reanimation’ of Earth, where the planet is repopulated by animals floated down from space in aerogel bubbles, but in general there was just too much information and too many ideas fighting for attention within one book. Robinson is clearly passionate about the world he has created and in the end that, along with the brilliantly flawed character of Swan, made the book worth the slog through to the end. However, I think that with a tightened focus or perhaps by making this into a series rather than a single novel, 2312 would be able to reach and entertain a much wider readership. Originally reviewed at booksellersnz.wordpress.com

Okay, so this one's a throwback to 2010, but since it was free with Xbox Games with Gold just recently (it was the 1 year Anniversary for Games with Gold apparently...) I wanted to get a hold of it for old school Arcade-style nostalgia. By which I mean "getting my ass handed to me by a girl, since I clearly have no idea what the hell I'm doing". (To be fair, she also has copious hours of Tekken gaming under her belt, and I haven't played anything remotely similar since 2005). All that aside, the game itself delivers on the "Arcade". Glorious button mashing accompanied by cries of "How the hell did you do that?!" answered with "I have no idea!" are sure to be thrown about as frequently as Hadokens. The graphics still look like the old school (and I mean Oooold) upright arcade machines, but more refined. Which is great. A game like this really doesn't need flashy graphics as a selling point. The thing that lets this down the most is that many of the combo/ special moves are so very hard to pull off. And the "Moves List" key isn't as comprehensive as one might like it to be. For instance, it took me a while to realise that the directional part of a move was relative to your character's facing and not just a fixed direction. Then again, if you’re content to button mash ‘til your fingers drop off, this won’t be much of an issue.

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nexus magazine

HØNEST MATT MEETS DOMINICK Honest Matt Matt Hicks

Matt Hicks has a chat with young Zambian born, Hamilton rapper/producer

on the beat with an Australian artist, Darnell was on the chorus and I was

Dominick about adjusting to life in New Zealand, his releases so far and the

hit me up for a verse. He later told me a guy called Joe Citizen was going to

response to his recently released 360-degree interactive music video.

make the 360-degree music video to the track ‘H Town Vibe’ for NZ music

What have you released so far in your career? I have released one EP

month. Was making a 360-degree video any different to making a normal

called ‘The Arrow’ when I went by the name of YounG-World (when I was

video for you? Yes it was because I was not used to that kind of technology.

just starting out). I recently released a Mix tape called ‘Genesis’. How’d you

We were performing for this crazy looking lens opposed to performing the

come up with the name Dominick? My artist name was first YounG-World

shoot in front of someone holding a DSLR camera. It was a pretty interesting

as I thought that that was cool “A young dude living in a young world”. But I

experience. Do you ever plan to return to Zambia to release music there?

recently met my biological father when I went back to Zambia last November

It’s definitely a much bigger market than New Zealand’s. Yes! I intend

and his father (who is my granddad) told me that the name he gave me was

to go back and do more work with the artists over there as I met most of

Mulenga Dominick Chengo Munshya, which I didn’t know. So I removed

them when I went back. Like Dandy Krazi, Mac2, Baska Baska, tony Breezy

YounG-World and decided to make it Dominick, as that is one of my names

and Shanky who are all international artists, very well known in the afro pop

You made a bit of Hamilton music history recently when your group

industry (which is considered as hip hop). But wouldn’t live there as I am

NDD premiered your new 360-degree interactive music video. How did

too used to the NZ lifestyle. What are your thoughts on the health of the

this opportunity come around? I am not in a group but we worked on the

music scene in Hamilton? How could it be improved? I think it’s pretty

project as a group for NZ music month, which was pretty awesome having

good, as there’s a lot of talent in Hamilton. Artists just need to recognize that

creative minds come together. Nuke got approached by one of the Wintec

if they want to make it in the music industry they need to take it seriously.

tutors about doing a track to showcase at the Hamilton museum (which is

More at sounzgood.co.nz.

going down at the museum on the 22ndof August 2014). Nuke collaborated

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Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) Those who do not learn from the mistakes of history are destined to repeat them. In other words the only thing worse than the penicillin shot for your REO STI is the look on the nurse’s face when she is all like “Mother fucker didn’t you learn in March when we did this?”

John Lennon once said “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.” but more profoundly it was his wife Yoko who said “Hey that creepy bastard outside our hotel keeps reading Catcher In The Rye.” The lesson here is trust no one.

Ancient proverb or Jaden Smith? “Commit to love, not to people. Commit to Happiness because when you commit to people the love leaves and you are forced to stay.” If you guessed Jaden Smith then you are today’s mystery winner. That wise all-knowing little bastard.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

In the words of the immortal Sam Cooke, change is gonna come. Of course change relies on the acceptance of a belief that time is a linear construct. But following the logic of Descartes it would be fair to say that you can’t really be sure of existence outside your own mind so any perceived change is really just your imagination rebelling against its own monotony.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Allow yourself to be a beacon in the world for all that is good and right and just. Stay true to your convictions and champion the cause of the less fortunate this week. It is only when you have truly become the symbol of righteousness that you can rub other people’s noses in your own perfection until their souls hurt.

You will win Lotto, somewhere in the vicinity of 500 and 20 million dollars. I mean it isn’t going to happen this week or anything but if you keep buying lotto tickets the stars have foreseen that sometime in your life you will win at least $500.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

It seems the only sure fire way to inspiration is the death of a parent. The Waynes died and Batman was born, Mufasa died and Simba became king of everything the light touched, The Bain family died and David finally stopped wearing Cosby sweaters. Still, we have to err on the side of caution and say just because you want to finish your thesis there’s no reason to kill your parents.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

That B semester Study Link money is in- time to live large like Lebron, no more two minute noodles and red tube porn for you. It’s all Kristal and Posh-men this week.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

It’s time to move on. Looking back on last semester now is like watching Disney movies in your 20s- don’t do it. In both scenarios you just become aware of hidden subtext, obvious villains, and signs that love never really has happy endings. In both scenarios you just end up cry-wanking to the little mermaid feeling sorry for yourself. Move on.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Forgiving yourself is the only way to truly be happy this week. However if you can’t then I know a guy selling weed, ketamine and bath salts out of Bryant Hall whose name is an anagram of ‘Bryan Smith sells weed’.

Sure things seem bad this week but take solace in friends who believe it’s always darkest before the dawn. Mainly because they are far dumber than you could ever be. It isn’t darkest before the dawn it is in fact really fucking light, it’s about to be dawn. It’s darkest when the Earth is furthest from the sun.

You will meet a dark stranger, not dark as in ethnicity but dark as in world view. I guess you can’t really call him a stranger in the traditional sense either, you may know him, he’s just stranger than other people. Really what the stars are saying is that you may run into a cynical weird guy.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

HOROSCOPES

nexus magazine

Feel Good Playlist BEATS BY J

Classic MKTO

Ariana Grande / Zedd

Break Free

Alexis Jordan

Happiness

Nico & Vinz / Am I Wrong

Am I Wrong

Clean Bandits / Jess Glynne

Rather Be

Calvin Harris / Summer Summer

Bruno Mars / Doo-Wops & Hooligans Count On Me

Train / Drive By Drive By

REO Speedwagon / Hi Infidelity Keep On Loving You

Avicii / Nicky Romero I Could Be The One

Don Omar / Lucenzo / Meet The Orphans

Danza Kuduro

Sage The Gemini / Gas Pedal

Red Nose

I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Whitney Houston

For full playlist follow nexusmagazine on Spotifiy.

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nexus magazine

AUTEUR PRESENTS GRACE KELLY Auteur Dr Richard Swainson

One of the many failings of Grace of Monaco, the new would-be biopic

Oscar-winning actors were a Kelly speciality. She is known to have slept

ways of relationships and romance than she actually was. To an extent

with the Best Actor winner of 1934 (Clark Gable); 1941 (Gary Cooper, a

this approach buys into the most obvious myths about the actress-turned-

notoriously well-hung ladies man); 1944 (Bing Crosby, who proposed); 1945

princess. Kelly's screen image was that of an ice-goddess: a heart-breakingly

(Ray Milland, whose 13 year marriage she very nearly ended); 1952 (Cooper,

beautiful blonde with a cool, patrician exterior. Many of Kelly's roles seem-

again); 1953 (William Holden, who also wanted to marry her) and 1954

ingly fit this persona. In High Noon she is the virginal Quaker wife to Gary

(Marlon Brando).

Cooper's put-upon sheriff. In The Country Girl she is another long-suffering

Kelly herself won the most controversial Academy Award of all time. Cast

spouse, this time to Bing Crosby's alcoholic actor. In both Mogambo and

against type and class as a dowdy, down-trodden woman in The Country

High Society Kelly plays aristocratic women who are cold and unreachable,

Girl, Kelly was laudable enough but paled into insignificance in comparison

at least on the surface.

to Judy Garland's performance-of-a-lifetime in the remake of A Star is Born.

These generalisations tell only part of the story. If you dig a little deeper

The contest came down to six votes only, the fact that Warner Brothers did

Kelly can be seen to be cast repeatedly as the unfaithful woman, willing

next to nothing to promote Garland or her movie and that the terminally drug

to sleep around on her husband or boyfriend. Her three films for Alfred

addled musical star was unpopular and difficult to work with, making all the

Hitchcock see Kelly as sexually pro-active, especially for the conservative

difference. Still, even Kelly's own father suggested to the press that a fairer

1950s. In Dial M for Murder, Rear Window and To Catch a Thief her characters

result would have been a tie.

are either engaged in affairs or aggressively chase older men. Rear Window

If Grace felt any guilt that night it was soon forgotten. Solace was found

even sees her hold up a slinky, transparent negligee, announcing it as a

in the arms of fellow winner Marlon Brando. Bing Crosby allegedly found

"preview of coming attractions".

the two naked in bed together and fisticuffs ensued. It was a classic fight

Kelly's private life prior to marrying Prince Rainier was very much in keep-

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any man was fair game. Especially famous co-stars.

of Grace Kelly, is that it suggests its subject was far less worldly in the

of Old Hollywood vs New Hollywood, the geriatric crooner taking on the

ing with this side of her persona. Sexually voracious, she knew what she

icon of method acting. It's a sure thing that Grace Kelly would have enjoyed

wanted and unashamedly went after it. Regardless of age or martial status,

the show.

nexusmag.co.nz


nexus magazine

ART AND THE COSMOS Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf

Did you celebrate and help bring in the New Year? Not the one back

In traditional times Matariki was a signal for Maori to prepare the ground

in January where you probably stayed up till midnight with revelry

for crop planting, begun in September if the stars were bright, later if hazy.

and drunkenness, but the more recent one. I’m referring, of course, to

Offerings were made to the god of fertility, Rongo, to sweeten the deal.

the beginning of the New Year in early June, celebrated by members of the

Singing and dancing and flying of kites would ensue. It was also a time

indigenous culture in New Zealand.

for Maori to remember their ancestors since it was believed that the stars

It’s the one also recognised by members of other older cultures who acclaim the winter solstice on the other side of the world in December.

housed the souls of the dead. Death and new birth thus came together in these celebratory rituals.

Maori call their New Year, Matariki (eyes of the Gods) because it coincides

Neolithic cultures like those associated with Stonehenge also hailed the

with the rising of the star cluster Pleiades. New stars in the sky on the

winter solstice and, not surprisingly, in Christian mythology Jesus was

shortest, darkest day of the year is the point at which the sun reverses its

claimed to have been born at this special time in the cycle of the year while

ebbing, after which the days begin to lengthen and thoughts of planting

the Roman festival, Saturnalia, honoured the god Saturn, the agricultural deity,

new crops occur.

you guessed it, around December 25.

It makes a certain agricultural sense where people once needed to be in

The Matariki practices ceased in the 1940s, perhaps because of the war, or

tune with the cycle of life and death and the seasons. Urban creatures that

the growing feeling of Pakeha nationalism provoked by centennial celebra-

we are today and post-industrial, we don’t check on the sun and moon and

tions. But recently, in the new century, the celebrations have been revived.

stars. We just nip down to the supermarket. Something is gained by this but

New Zealand Maori artist Brett Graham was ahead of the pack when he

something is also lost in the process. Modern man has lost contact with the

constructed a sculpture called Te Matariki in 1994 for the courtyard of the

cosmos, as D H Lawrence once proclaimed.

Law School on campus. Made of laminated wood, the piece depicts an

As a measure of how far we have become disconnected from the “cos-

abstract seven-petalled flower in bloom, (complete with steps) symbolic of

mos” here in Hamilton, City Council staff with chainsaws have slaughtered

new beginnings which both alludes to the seven stars in the Pleiades and

200 mature liquid amber trees in one street because people complained

Tane’s journey into the heavens searching for the baskets of knowledge.

about leaf-drop; a testament to all the plastic people who inhabit this town.

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nexus magazine

AINAN, JAPAN Overseas Experience Christy Gibbs

Skyscrapers, flashing neon lights and really damn fast trains are perhaps some of the main ideas people have when they think of Japan, and to an extent, that’s accurate enough – the likes of Tokyo or Osaka really can be a concrete jungle. Deep in the countryside though, it’s a different story. I’ve lived and worked in Japan for two years now as a participant on the JET Programme, and though I had experienced something of the rural side of the country during a previous visit, it was still a bit of a shock to find that there was no train system at all in town, and that the nearest food store wasn’t within walking or even cycling distance. Until 2004, Ehime’s Ainan used to be nothing more than a collection of villages, and most people outside the prefecture have still never heard of it. I didn’t choose this place in which to live… but having grown to love it, I’d like to think that it chose me. Still, there are plenty of opportunities to travel further

looking to experience as much of Japan (or any country for that matter) as possible in a limited amount of time is to visit as many types of places as you can; don’t limit yourself to only the more urban and touristy areas. For such a relatively small country, Japan is incredibly diverse. (Oh, and be sure to hit up a Japanese festival. Seriously, a good one of those is worth planning an entire trip around.)

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PHOTOGRAPHS: CHRISTY GIBBS

afield. As of this writing I’ve been to 21 of 47 prefectures, and will hopefully be visiting plenty more in the future. My advice to anyone


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do you want to get paid to help organise oweek 2015? BECOME A

STUDENT DIRECTOR THE WAIKATO STUDENTS’ UNION

ELECTION Nominations Now Open til 1st August HELP SHAPE YOUR STUDENT EXPERIENCE here at waikato WITH CAMPUS EVENTS, GIVEAWAYS, BBQ’S AND OTHER AWESOME STUFF. to FIND OUT MORE email elections@wsu.org.nz or head to wsu.org.nz

To be eligible you need to: 1. Be a WSU member, (the form you filled out in oweek to get a goodie bag or fill out the form at wsu. org.nz). 2. Be studying next year. 3. Be nominated by two other students who are also members. 4. Have no criminal convictions.

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nexus magazine

Stay Calm MADAME OLGA

?In this fast paced world of lectures, assignments, social media and drinking it can be hard to quiet your brain. Madame Olga may have the answer. Some of you will be thinking “Oh I tried that once and it

your thoughts wander or you notice something about your body,

was a load of horse shit”, but there is no denying that medi-

just acknowledge it, tell it to shut the fuck up and then return

tation has been around for centuries and persists amongst

to your breathing - in for 5 and out for 5.

many cultures and, let’s be honest, new age fads. Meditation is used to slow your mind down and (hopefully)

How long do you keep going for? As long as you like really! What you are looking for is the tension to start to leave your

clear it of the destructive voices in your head- if only for a few

body and that the compulsion to rush around like a chicken

minutes. These few minutes are generally enough time to reset

with its head cut off to disappear. Don’t go rushing to jump up

your panic and worry so that you can continue with your day. Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting there with your legs

as soon as you are done. Open your eyes slowly. Let the light in, stretch, become aware of your body, your surroundings and

“MEDITATION DOESN’T HAVE TO BE SITTING THERE WITH YOUR LEGS CROSSED AND FINGERS PRESSED TOGETHER “OHMING” AWAY TO MUSIC FILLED WITH TIBETAN BELLS...”

crossed and fingers pressed together “Ohming” away to music

reality. Then drink a glass of water. DON’T QUESTION ME just

filled with Tibetan bells or whale sounds, or transcending to the

do it!!! Water helps to move toxins out of our body and lying (or

ether and coming back as your flat’s own personal guru. It is

sitting) and breathing deeply will activate your lymphatic system

very simple to slow your thoughts.

(you know the one that drains all the crap out of your muscles

You will need: a quiet place (turn your damn phone off), uninterrupted time for 5-10mins (hang a sign on your door if you need to), somewhere comfy to sit or lie down, and you! Lie down (or sit), close your eyes and then count your breath-

20

and stuff.) This means you will need to drink water or you may end up with a headache. If you want to pursue this further there are plenty of guided meditations on youtube, google play or itunes that you can get

ing: in for 5 and out for 5. Keep focused on your breath. Your

cracking on. Otherwise just stick to the breathing. Meditation is

thoughts will start to wander, thinking about what you have left

useful the night before an exam or when your flatmates’ pubic

to do, how your back or arm or something hurts, telling you that

hair in the shower drain creeps out and your murderous tenden-

you are tired and you could just catch a quick nap. Every time

cies come out to play.

nexusmag.co.nz


PHOTOGRAPH: ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS


nexus magazine

Dream Interpretation: Truth or Bullshit RACHAEL ELLIOTT

Dreams: are they the mystical gateway to understanding our unconcious selves, or weird things you have when you eat too much cheese? Nexus investigates. Everyone has an opinion on dreams. Freud thought

aspect of yourself is in conflict with another aspect of

dreams compensate for parts of the psyche that are

yourself. Or, you know, it could be a parallel of a fight or

underdeveloped. Some other guy thought they were

struggle that you are going through when you’re awake.

the way we process things from our waking lives. I just think they’re fucking cool. There’s no denying that dreams have meaning, even

Puff, you’re fighting to the death which means you refuse to acknowledge some waking conflict. You’re unwilling to change an old attitude or habit. But no one

if it’s as simple as dreaming of peeing because you

likes a quitter! So keep being awesome, just pinch

really need to pee. Luckily for me, the interwebs can

yourself whenever you see Ali Ikram. Make sure you’re

create a dream interpreter out of anyone. I asked my

asleep when you confront him- I can’t afford to bail

friends to share their dreams with me so I could make

you out.

fun interpret them. I added the last dream I had to

When you fight with someone but you can’t punch

the list, then went googling. This is what I discovered.

properly it means you have low self-esteem or lack of

Puff said- Oh man, My favourite dream that I just can’t explain was having a mortal kombat style fight to the death with tv3 news presenter Ali Ikram. I honestly have no idea where it came from. I've nothing against the guy. Weirdly, ever since then I've been seeing him around a lot. I think the final confrontation is close... J said- Having a fight in a dream but punching really weak, so it never ends! Gentlemen, when you dream you’re in a fight it indicates some kind of inner chaos. Maybe you’re feeling

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at 9am. The inner turmoil is great within you lads, some

they’re to do with wish fulfilment. Jung thought that

confidence in your abilities to do something in your waking life. It could mean that you’re not sure what to do next. Take Heart J! Your mum thinks you’re awesome. It’s also possible that the REM paralysis that happens at this level of sleep carries over into your dream, but nah, probably not. Naomi said- I often dream my teeth fall out. Sometimes they’re black and ugly, and sometimes they’re shiny. Once I tried to put them back in but they just fell out over and over.

conflicted about sharing naked cuddles with your flat-

Teeth dreams refer to 8 different things (because

mate. Maybe you’re feeling conflicted about the papers

they’re greedy): vanity, communication, embarrass-

you’re taking this semester. Maybe you’re feeling con-

ment, powerlessness, health, death, deception and

flicted about whether or not you should have that beer

money. Because, you know, the tooth fairy or some

nexusmag.co.nz


nexus magazine

shit. Dreaming of teeth can reflect anxieties about

searching it means you’re feeling the lack of something

your appearance and the way people perceive you.

needed in your life. It might be love, spiritual enlighten-

If your teeth actually fell out you’d definitely be ugly,

ment, peace, or it might be beer. It’s probably beer.

but you’d also have trouble enunciating your words. A

Take steps to acquire the missing piece of yourself and

dream about this might mean you don’t feel ‘heard’.

the dreaming should stop. I recommend Haagen beer,

Dreaming of rotten teeth means you said something

it’s cheap and won’t rot your insides. Much.

you shouldn’t have. Watch out- those words will come back to haunt you. Trying to shove your teeth back into your face shows a lack of self-confidence. You might be afraid that other people will find out the truth about your lack of successes. But success is relative- and not always about money Naomi. You got out of bed really successfully this morning, after all. Terri said- I dreamed a giant wolf ripped at my stomach. It ripped at it and ate my insides and when I went to hold the blood, I had no intestines or anything there at all.

I said: Last night I dreamed that I suddenly realised I was pregnant and then I was giving birth at some kind of maternity hospital on the top bunk of pink bunk beds. Luckily, this dream doesn’t actually mean I’m pregnant. The pregnancy is a symbol of a part of myself that is growing or perhaps coming to fruition. This could be a new idea, direction, or project. If I hadn’t given birth it could mean that I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet, but since I did it shows that it’s time for me to own it. When I figure out what it is- watch this space! The fact that I didn’t realise I was pregnant until I

When wolves are nice in your dream they represent

was actually in dream labour implies I’m in denial, or

survival, beauty, solitude, mystery, self-confidence

ignoring the things right in front of me. But I’m defi-

“I’M IN DENIAL ABOUT BEING IN DENIAL? MAYBE MY DENIAL OF BEING IN DENIAL SHOWS I’M IN DENIAL…”

and pride. But unfriendly wolves symbolise hostility,

nitely not in denial. Unless I’m in denial about being

aggression and sneakiness. This dream could repre-

in denial? Maybe my denial of being in denial shows

sent an uncontrollable situation or all-consuming force

I’m in denial…

in your life. It could be an obsession, addiction or a

Anyway, since I’m not trying to get pregnant

person who’s a shit head. Intestines in a dream rep-

the dream may also symbolise my fear of new

resent compassion and courage (whether or not you

responsibilities.

have guts) so the lack of them in your dream shows

The bunk beds could represent childhood and inno-

that you’re not feeling very confident or courageous in

cence- which makes sense, because they were the

this situation. Gather the nerve to tackle your facebook

same bunk beds as the ones I used to have as a kid. It

addiction Terri- we believe in you! Liz said- I have been living an awake life and dream life for about 9 months- every night I pick up from where I was the night before... I'm searching for something, someone or somewhere but I can never remember what I'm searching for when I wake up and I never find it in the dream. Oh Liz, there’s a hole in your life. When you dream of

may also show that I have conflicting views of sexuality- which is pretty fair. It also says I may have difficulty expressing my needs and desires- but that’s some bullshit. Shit to the bull. So I'm still undecided about whether this dream interpretation thing is legit or not. The only thing I know for sure is that I feel better about my own crazy dreams now I've read other people's.

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PHOTOGRAPH: CAM ROBINSON


nexus magazine

Manifest Destiny! MELISSA C. WILLS

Everyone harps on about the power of the positive thinking, the law of attraction and putting the things you want into the universe. But is there any point? Chances are that the thought of ‘manifesting your dreams’

you are wanting to welcome the outcome of the spell into your

sounds pretty good. Who wouldn’t want to have everything

home. All the bits n’ pieces simply help YOU to focus your mind

they desire, from fancy new car to perfect part-time job to some

on what it is you are trying to achieve. They make it easier for

hot sex on Friday night and everything in between? The part a

you to stay clear on that desire, so that it has less chance of

lot of us get stuck on is that when it comes to the so-called ‘law

getting muddied down by lack of direction.

of attraction’. It all sounds (and smells) a bit like bullshit. It’s only natural to be sceptical. The idea of attracting stuff (like

Intent can even be thought of in plain Jane terms too. Goal setting is a form of magnified intent; you are distilling all your

material things but also personality upgrades and real world

possibilities down into one clarified and drinkable spirit that has

experiences) is the latest viral concept floating around the atmo-

all the overtones and undertones you truly want in a ‘good life’.

sphere. You can buy the how-to book, attend the workshop and

It’s easy enough to just meander through the day-to-day, with-

be given the quick-fix solution for only $49.99! Whip up your

out knowing what you really would desire from those 24 hours.

own vision board, recite an elaborate affirmation or two and

Goal setting helps make the unseen / unrealised conscious and

“IT’S ABOUT DIVING DEEP WITHIN, FIGURING OUT WHAT MAKES YOU TICK AND THEN BRINGING THAT DESIRE TO THE FOREFRONT OF YOUR MIND.”

you’ve got it sussed! So should you steer clear of the notion

from there, it is far more likely that you will put a plan in place

that you have the ability to manifest your desires into reality?

to make things HAPPEN!

Not at all. But there are a few important pieces of the puzzle that you need to make sure you consider.

So then, using the ‘law of attraction’ isn’t even all that out there to begin with. It’s about diving deep within, figuring

First things first, ditch all the buzz words and boil it all down

out what makes you tick and then bringing that desire to the

to ‘intent’. Intent is at the core of what many spiritual people

forefront of your mind. It’s not about foregoing the real world

have been practicing for eons. Casting a spell (as the oft-feared

activities if you are, say, wanting to attract a new job- you will

witches of the past would have done) is often thought of as

still need to look through the listings, go for the interviews etc.

pretty much just intent, using tools to help focus that intent on

But because you are allowing yourself to truly focus on the act

a particular outcome. So you might combine a particular herb

AND you are allowing yourself to believe fully in your innate

with a particular oil because both are said to have certain quali-

power to bring about the wanted outcome, the experience is

ties attached. You then chant specific words that relate well to

different. You expect for the best and therefore, you are OPEN

the herb/oil combination and you finally place it in a container

to the best.

in a specific part of the house such as a front door because

And that is where the magic lies.

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nexus magazine

LEFT

RIGHT

Maui's Dolphins Ocean Gypsy

Maui's Dolphins Balding Eagle

Simon Bridges took the unusual stance this week of rubbing

Just when I thought there couldn’t possibly be another “Maui”

salt in the wounds of redundant Pizza Hut call centre workers.

that I give less of a fuck about, Tamati Coffey dragged this non-

This was done in large part to distract people from the fact that the

issue from the hell hole he crawled out of. Dolphins are cute, I get

week before he had basically signed a death warrant for the world’s

it. We were basically brainwashed into loving them from a young age

rarest dolphins. Do you know how bad a decision has to be to use

by an onslaught of pro-dolphin Disney propaganda. But should we

the elderly as a distraction?

let our love of dolphins stop us from drilling for oil? Not if we want

I guess the thinking was that under this government the unem-

to succeed as a nation. If killing the last Maui dolphin meant raising

ployed senior is more of a renewable resource than the Maui’s

the standard of living for everyday New Zealanders, creating jobs in

dolphin. That wouldn’t be hard though, considering that by most

economically deprived areas or bringing a large number of children

estimates there are only 55 left in the world.

out of poverty then we should. Call me Captain Ahab, because I’ll

Of course the “Right” rolls it all out under the banner of prog-

harpoon Flipper myself.

ress. You have to break a few dolphin sanctuaries to make a dolphin

The realities of the situation are that there is a negligible risk to the

omelette I guess. The problem is that it isn’t progress, it is fossil fuels.

Maui dolphin from petroleum exploration and that in over 40 years of

At best, a 20th century technology for a 21st century world.

exploration and drilling on the west coast of the North Island there has

This government has refused point blank to make any major

not been a single reported incident where a Maui dolphin has been

“WHO NEEDS SOLAR PANELS, RENEWABLE

“CALL ME CAPTAIN AHAB, BECAUSE I’LL

WIND FARMS, HYBRID CARS AND TOURISM

HARPOON FLIPPER MYSELF.”

MONEY WHEN WE CAN BUILD PROTEST FREE OIL PLATFORMS...”

hurt by petroleum work. There is, however, evidence of the petroleum industry contributing billions of dollars to the local economy and the creation of tens of thousands of jobs. To slow down economic growth

investment in renewable energy preferring instead to chase that fat

because we “might” kill a dolphin would be lunacy.

Anadarko Oil cash and line their own pockets with kickbacks while

I think it’s time we all sat down and took this issue seriously.

destroying New Zealand’s clean green image around the world. Who

Estimates indicate that there are only 55 Maui dolphins left in exis-

needs solar panels, renewable wind farms, hybrid cars and tourism

tence; although I do question the accuracy of that figure given that

money when we can build protest free oil platforms, conduct explor-

they live underwater. If these dolphins aren’t being killed by oil explo-

atory drilling and just wait for the big disaster that will fuck up our

ration, then where are they all going? Perhaps they are being driven

coastline Gulf Of Mexico style.

away by our anti-business mindset? Perhaps they are drilling the oil

Bridges is a cardboard cut-out of a politician, an empty suit mas-

themselves? We need to act now and find a way to balance New

querading as someone capable of sentient thought. He does what

Zealand’s economic interests with protection of the Maui. There is

he can to be a friend of big business and doesn’t care about the

a solution, and that solution is finning. This would greatly increase

consequences including the links between exploratory drilling and

the aerodynamics of the dolphin improving chances of survival, all

fucking earthquakes. His record on protecting wildlife and forestry

while opening up a new export industry into Asian markets who are

is tantamount to environmental genocide. The fact that he is the

apparently into that sort of thing. But Tamati Coffey doesn’t want to

Minister of Climate Change, Energy and Labour is a joke.

hear this because he doesn’t care about dolphins, or our economy, or

But hey, what’s a few dead dolphins, earthquakes and environmental disasters when we are talking about the massive profits a

dying orphans. All he cares about is getting elected. He’s a parachute candidate, and I hope his parachute fails to open.

company that doesn’t pay taxes here might make?

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GET IN OUR VAN! Overheard in ReO Rachael Elliott

I was delighted to discover that you guys

"I shouldn't have taken her home. She pissed

were asking after me in the vans during

my bed and I don't even have a washing

ReO. The fact that you repeatedly asked Aaron

machine. I don't even own a second set of

Letcher if he was me concerns me slightly. I

sheets"

don’t believe his response (or his face- have you seen that thing?) accurately portrays my own

“Two Kids at Uni is fucking lame!”

fine self, but I did like whoever took the opportunity to take the lecherous bastard down. Kia

“Can I have some sausage because I need to

Ora anonymous student, you’re a G.C.

prepare to get some sausage”

What follows are the best quotes we overheard while driving your fine arses around town. Keep

SHAPING YOUR BROW GAME

up the good work Waikato!

Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady

of do"

“Stop raping Patrick!” “Bro all you gotta do is talk cricket to these

Student: "Are you Rachel from Nexus?"

Indian taxi guys and they give you cheaper

Driver: "Do I look like a 30 year old lesbian?"

taxis!”

Student: "...now that you mention it, you kind “There’s a hole in my legs, I didn’t know it was there!” “I like Johnny, he stops at red lights.” “It’s not a ride until Jacinta’s in the van”

Last week we tamed your brows into submission, this week we define them by filling them in to enhance your lovely eyes. You can fill your brows in with either a brow pencil or using a powder that best matches your hair colour. Powders are also a great alternative for those lovelies who like boldly coloured locks as there is always a colour to match. 1. Brush your brows up with a brow brush to see your brow shape. Any long hairs can be trimmed. If you’re not keen on doing this you can ask your brow technician to do it for you during a shape. 2 Grab yourself a short angled make up brush, pick your powder and remembering the first line, lightly draw a line up to the under edge of your arch then follow on to the outer edge of your brow. 3. Repeat on the upper edge of your brow until it meets the outside edge. Brush brow hairs into place. 4. Fill in the brows with short strokes until you get your desired look. 5. Apply brow wax or clear mascara to set. Sweet Tips: If you like bold brows start with less powder/pencil and build it up to the darkness you want. Make your under edge of your arch a little darker to define it. Highlighter on your brow bone will also help define them. Soften the corners or brow with a q-tip. sweetpaintedladynz.com

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"Bitches ain't nothing but hoes and tricks" “I taught the Hush Hush girls” Girl showing a facebook photo of a boy she knows: "Do you think he’s too good for me?"

“Yeah I know Bruce Jenner, it’s whatever.”

Driver: "Yes". “Look are you going to keep being a cunt or Student: "if you do a macca's run, ill shout

what?”

everyone in the van a cheeseburger" To his credit, he followed through.

Guy- “I’m so glad I’ve got my sword” Girl-“Yeah you almost poked me with it all night"

“Big pants, big pussy”

Guy- “I still could…”


nexus magazine

LIKE A VIRGIN? Aunty Slut

Dear Aunty Slut,

pressuring her to have sex? You say you're more experienced than

My beautiful girlfriend is a virgin, has never masturbated before and

her and are larger- it might be freaking her out.

has had a few inexperienced boyfriends. When we've tried to have

My best advice would be to back off sex for a bit- take the pressure

sex, she's far too tight, I'm on the bigger side and she's 2 fingers

off and enjoy each other in other ways. If that sounds unreasonable to

really tight. I'm far from a virgin (not implying that's something to

you- then maybe you are in some way pressuring her. You don't come

boast about).

across as an unreasonable guy, but it's kind of a sticky area- most of

So my general question is will she loosen up over time - it is certainly

the time when guys are pressuring chicks they don't even realise

easier than the first time we played with each other however will it

they're doing it. Perhaps more likely is that she's pressuring herself,

continue?

because she thinks the only way to keep you happy is to fuck you-

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

since you're so experienced (not that that’s anything to boast about).

Anon

If that's not the case make sure you tell her that, because even if she hasn’t said anything about it, I bet she’s feeling it.

Dear Anon,

Things to try- get drunk together. Have a bath together. Buy her a

Firstly, there is nothing abnormal about this situation at all. It's very

vibrator (not a penetrative one) and have fun with that. Internal finger/

common for women who have no experience to be anxious, which

vibrator stimulation is good as long as she's enjoying it. Have you

can cause tightening of the vagina. It’s normal for experienced women

tried with her on top? Give her the control, let her do what she wants

too! It’s all about sexual arousal and feeling relaxed and comfortable. It's good you're getting her to come- more of that- lots more- for the win! But I'm guessing that she's afraid penetration is going to hurt and therefore tightens up because she's anxious, then it does

and see if it helps. If she’s afraid of penetration, giving her control over it means she can stop where she feels comfortable. Once you've really tried everything then head in to your GP- there is a condition called vaginismus that could be causing the issue.

hurt, so she tightens up and is anxious and it becomes a vicious cycle.

Make sure you guys remember that there is more to life than penis-

The more you guys stress about it, the more it will continue

vagina sex. Remind each other why you love each other- because this

unfortunately.

sort of thing can cause stress in a relationship. Don't give up.

She needs to feel relaxed in your company. If she's not relaxed then maybe she doesn't trust you completely- are you in any way

Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz

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PHOTOGRAPH: PHILLIP WONG

nexus magazine

ENERGISER BUDDY Fitness Bro Lauren Barnard

The neat, cheerful man jogging next to me doesn't look

a guy in ongoing physio can zip around and still hang onto

like the muddy obstacle course type, but I guess it takes

that friendly grin.

all sorts. You don't have to be a UniRec member to sign up

After one too many shuttle runs I can't feel the morning

for this race. Chaitanya Joshi is a statistics professor at the

chill, but my eyes droop and my body is grumbling for caf-

uni, with a quick smile, and saintly patience as I try to catch

feine. It's tempting to mourn the lost hours of shut-eye. But I

his name over the huffing complaints of my lungs. “Or you

can't complain to my new friend, who proudly tells me of his

can call me Chai, like the tea,” he

18-month-old daughter – and the rewarding, but often sleep-

“YOU KNOW, IF THE USUAL 'CUPPA AND BROWNIE' CAFÉ COMBO WAS REPLACED WITH SWEAT AND SCREAMING MUSCLES.”

offers. At first, Chai (like myself) isn't

less, nights she inspires. “I shouldn't really be getting up at 5:30 [for training]!” he laughs.

entirely sure how to explain his

I don't know whether this week's training is less grueling

reasons for taking the Tough Guy

than last week, but it's weirdly enjoyable; working hard in pairs

challenge. As we toss medicine

or threes feels less like P.E. class punishment and more like

balls and high five between push-

light, active socialisation. You know, if the usual 'cuppa and

ups, he muses about the health benefits of the training, especially since his job has him glued to a desk chair all day. Milly is leading the session today and teamwork is key. I'm

brownie' café combo was replaced with sweat and screaming muscles. As things wrap up, and light chatter overtakes harsh breathing, Chai and I talk about the awesome community the team

somewhere between grateful to have such an upbeat workout

is building through shared pain. Before the sessions, his focus

buddy, and jealous of Chai's energy. Despite a chronic shoul-

was on the health side of things; now, after experiencing a bit

der injury, he leaves me in the dust when we army-crawl the

more of the morning mayhem, his reasons have expanded.

cold length of the Sports Hall floor; I marvel at how speedily “It's fun,” he realises. “I think that's why I'm doing it.”

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nexus magazine

“NATURALLY WHEN I GIVE ONE OF THESE EXQUISITE ITEMS FROM MY COLLECTION AWAY, I THINK OF IT AS A BOOMERANG… I’D PREFER IF IT RETURNED.”

WAIKATO VS DUNEDIN Carnage Jules Craft

Ever since my involvement in an underground rap collaboration relat-

housing and everything around these areas is set up for students. Cheap

ing to bucket hats and monster killing flows dissing other universities

food, close supermarkets and liquor stores every 2m. The vibe around Castle

I’m constantly harassed about which university is better. Silly question

and Leith street is so dope, pretty much anyone is welcome anywhere all the

really: up the mighty Waikato! To tell the truth though, I think your university

time. You can walk into any random flat and as long as you introduce yourself

experience is purely what you make of it. I guarantee you I’d be a young

and you can sustain a yarn then you’re in easy breezy. We have heaps of

frother no matter what town you dropped me in. However that’s a pussy way

dope cats in Waikato of course but the fact that all the flats are so spread

of tip-toeing around the question. I just got back from Reo week in Dunedin

out means that it’s not quite the mini student country that they have going

and sheeit I had a good time so I suppose I better give Otago props for an

on down there. 1 point Dunedin.

eventful week. I’ll judge the two on a fair points system. So here we go the face2face one outs between Waicats and the Scarfies. Bitches don’t steal your jackets in Hamilton. Let me elaborate. I consider myself a man of chivalry. When I see a damsel in distress goose-bumping

It’s cold as fuck in Dunedin and the flat quality is near third world sometimes. I pay less rent than any of my mates in Dunedin and I get insulation, carpet, and all my walls intact. Some Otago cats are paying a leg and an arm just to get frostbite. 1 point Waikato!

up in the arctic winds of the night I like to, on the odd occasion, offer my

Music flavor down there is amazing! Yeah I know everyone listens to music

jacket for warmth. I take my jacket game seriously. Real jacket selection is

and it’s all personal preference but oo wee did I hear some good tunes while

an art form. A jacket has to be the perfect mix of comfortable, warm, durable,

I was down there. Heaps of j5, Tribe, de la Soul, Cypress Hill, Home brew

and of course uniquely stylish. Naturally when I give one of these exquisite

crew, and plenty of filthy dupstep/trap. I love me some old hip hop flavor. 1

items from my collection away, I think of it as a boomerang… I’d prefer if it

point Dunedin.

returned. The first night I got down to Otago a girl in starters requested the

Waikato has a W in its spelling. 1 point Waikato

services of my snazzy green Kathmandu coat. Long story short, I never got

There ya are 3-2 to the mighty Waikats! Mad love to my brethas down

it back and I froze my ass off all trip. Boo Dunedin. 1 point to the Waikato! The coolest part about Dunedin for me is the way the flatting situation

South though. Had me self a ripper of a time. You should get down there for a visit!

works. Down in Otago there are entire streets if not blocks of just student

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WHERE THE MONEY AT Cash Hacks Alix Higby

“A JOB IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE

Just because last week’s information may

do this yourself- don’t buy into those stupid

not have been enough to get you saving

scams where people mack on your hard

savvy (likely), I have compiled another

earned cash just for filling out some forms.

short set of instructions to keep you

It’s NOT hard. Go to http://www.ird.govt.nz

on track.

and apply for a PTS. Then you’ll know how

YOU GIVE UP ALL OF YOUR ENERGY,

Now that you’re aware of just how much

much money you are owed/owe (sorry if it’s

money you currently have, let’s work on

the latter, my bad, it happens to everyone

HAPPINESS AND TIME IN RETURN

getting more of it. Most people do this by

at least once) and all you need to do is con-

working at a job. A job is one of those things

firm what they’ve sent you. You can do it all

where you give up all of your energy, hap-

online. I know this, because I just did it on

piness and time in return for money. Most

Friday and I got the money Tuesday. BOOM.

people only have one, but the sincerely

Guess who can afford to go to the Law Ball.

FOR MONEY.”

insane (yours truly) have two or more. If

Option 3: Sell yourself. Take this whichever

for some reason (current financial climate,

way makes you feel the most alive. If you

you slept with your boss, you have a weird

are truly stretched for cash, you can offer

personality etc) you cannot find and/or keep

your services, whatever they may be, for

one single job you will have to look at other

negotiable sums of money. This could be

options. If your daddy is rich you can prob-

taking out someone’s trash, mowing their

ably forget about this column entirely, unless

lawn, cleaning their house, watering their

you want to laugh at the peasants.

plants etc. Prostitution is also legal in New

Option 1: Sell stuff. My first port of call

Zealand, and stripping will earn you some hot

when I need some extra cash is my ward-

dollars. Take care in your decisions however;

robe. Rule of thumb; if you haven’t worn it

as it may mean your identifier will no longer

in a year and it’s not funeral and/or wedding

be your last name, you will be “Casey the

attire - it’s outta there. If you look after your

hooker,” “Sally the stripper,” or “Hans the

clothes (like hand washing when necessary

cleaning lady.” Even when you’re a recent

and spot removing immediately,) you can

grad with no student loan and a future so

flick them off on trade me or drop them off

bright you have to wear shades in the club

to an on-seller like Recycle Boutique. It’s a

like T-Pain. You have been warned.

roundabout refund for clothing you’re simply

Next week- how to create your own

bored with, which I personally consider a

startup! Just kidding, no one knows how

second Christmas.

that works.

PHOTOGRAPH: BROOK JAMES

Option 2: Apply for a tax refund. You can

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nexus magazine

“MID-CALF SOCKS AND SHORT-SHORTS IN WINTER? DOES THIS DUDE EVEN HAVE A CARE? IS THAT A BUCKET HAT? WHY, YES IT IS!”

WAIKATO’S FASHION STEREOTYPES A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson

Waikato University isn’t immune to fashion stereotypes (or assholes

dude even have a care? Is that a bucket hat? Why, yes it is! Everybody

who point them out for that matter). Through extensive research and

wants to be friends with the chill dude.

analysis, I have found seven distinct fashion stereotypes. This is hardhitting journalism at its finest.

The Funny T-Shirt Guy. He’s with the F.B.I, the female body inspectors that is! Funny t-shirt guy is always wearing a hilarious t-shirt, just last week

The Hipster Lumberjack. This stereotype swept across our University at

he had a t-shirt reading “the funniest thing about this shirt is that by the

a speed comparable to the recent measles outbreak. With a beard thicker

time you realise it doesn’t say anything it’s too late for you to stop reading

than wolves fur, a fondness for plaid shirts and arms strong enough swing

it.” Ow, my sides!

you over his shoulder to carry you from danger, the Hipster Lumberjack simply oozes testosterone-filled sex appeal. The Sexy Gym Addict. No one is sure whether they work out several

The Exchange Student. For someone living out of a suitcase, they sure dress better than the rest of us. Never caught off guard, the Exchange Student is always wearing weather-appropriate clothing. Must-haves

times a day or if they just wear exercise clothing everywhere. Either way

include functional items like windbreaker jackets, warm hoodies, track

you’re not really bothered, their quads are what dreams are made of.

shoes and a noticeable lack of resting bitch face.

The Fashionista. She cites Vogue as her Bible and would rather buy

The Misunderstood Frat Bro. He does well hiding a lifetime’s worth of

clothes than food. Windsor Smith sandals, sloppy beanies, t-shirt dresses

disappointment under his dumb Supreme cap. The Misunderstood Frat Bro

and oversized sunglasses are the usual in her OOTD (outfit of the day). She

refuses to believe New Zealand University isn’t like in the American Movies.

once broke her iPhone screen, it was tragic.

His fashion staples include grey sweaters, pocket t-shirts, ironic polos, fully

The Chill Dude. Damn, that dude is chill. Is that a Hawaiian shirt he’s

buttoned shirts and a disturbing amount of clothes from North Beach.

wearing? So chill. Mid-calf socks and short-shorts in winter? Does this

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nexus magazine

EVEN STUPID PEOPLE HAVE AN OPINION

MEANS TO AN END Politics Ryan Wood

Louise Vs The World Louise Hutt

A strong economy isn’t an end in itself. It’s a way of delivering Lately I’ve been having a hard time forming an opinion. I can hear you slamming your fist down on your Monday morning lecture theatre desk; I know, it’s an anomaly. Maybe there’s something about growing up that makes you realise people with shitty views can still have good arguments and people with good views can also have shitty arguments. What’s the difference then? I was recently visiting a friend’s family when I found out one of their family members didn’t believe in vaccination (amongst other things). Don’t get me

the things people care most about.’ – John Key Imagine a woman you care about; a woman with a name, a face, a whole life. Imagine all those things that are specific to her; her voice, the way her mind wanders, the hair at the nape of her neck. Now, imagine some kind of harm befalling her. Not an earthquake or some illness though; something man made. Imagine a man – a foreign diplomat – follows her home with feelings of lust and entitlement. She might fight him off or she might not. Imagine that, in any case, he slithers back to his homeland to evade justice while hiding beneath the aegis of diplomatic immunity.

“ONE OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT THE INTERNET IS THAT EVERYONE HAS A VOICE, BUT SOME PEOPLE HAVE UNINFORMED OPINIONS WHICH THEY SHARE AS THE GOSPEL TRUTH.”

Imagine the Government gives the go-ahead to this slithering-away, but later claims it did not and that it was a mistake. Imagine the Minister of Foreign Affairs appearing before cameras and apologising to the Prime Minister for not informing him of this scandal sooner. Imagine the Prime Minister appearing on television, looking bored, shrugging like Atlas and saying there really is nothing they can do. Please, can we just move on?

wrong, they believe that vaccinations exist, what they don’t believe is that

Imagine another politician, a leader of mana, calling the matter ‘a

they are one of the most important healthcare developments in modern

big fuss about bugger all.’ Imagine a right-wing blogger being equally

history. With the recent measles outbreak in Hamilton (which effectively

dismissive: ‘You know, we all have things that happen in our lives.

brought Fraser High School to a standstill) and you know, human history,

And we all need to learn to live with these things.’

outlining how horrific it is to be unvaccinated when an outbreak occurs, the

Imagine a woman you care about.

positive side to vaccinations are pretty obvious. Smallpox, a disease which

Imagine a country run as an economy. Imagine a saturation of num-

was wiped out by the use of vaccination, had a mortality rate of 30% and

bers and statistics, and a Government obsessed with them. Numbers

even if you survived, it could leave you scarred or blind for life. It’s hard to

and statistics are abstract; they do not have faces, or names, or lives.

argue that smallpox is a shitty thing to live without.

They can be compartmentalised and entered into spreadsheets. They

Thankfully, their argument wasn’t that smallpox was hot shit; their argu-

can be used and abused. They can be easily dismissed or forgot-

ment was that vaccinations can cause autism. In 1998 a scientific paper

ten. Imagine a country where the people are little more than office

was published with the findings that the MMR vaccine (which vaccinates

supplies; expendable and easily replaced by cheaper imports from

against measles, mumps, and rubella) was linked to the development of

overseas. Imagine a Prime Minister, bored, dreaming of Hawaii and

autism. I’m all for evidence-based science, so +1 for the anti-vaccination

golf with his fellow millionaires. Imagine a sinking ship; a rotting hull.

argument. Now, before all you pro-vaccinators throw Nexus away in

Now imagine a country run as a community. Imagine a government

disgust, just hear me out. The flaw in their argument is that is the very

obsessed with the wellbeing of the people; not only that they are fed

same paper was later retracted by the journal and the author struck off the

and clothed and sheltered, but that they are safe, and that they are

medical registry for “serious professional misconduct”. Conflicts of interest,

even loved. Imagine a Prime Minister for whom the welfare of his

evidence tampering and not following the ethical code were all cited as

fellow citizens is close to his heart, and who strives not for money

problems with the research. However they obviously hadn’t read that far.

but for the ideal society. Imagine that people are not a means to an

One of the best things about the internet is that everyone has a voice, but

end, but are ends in themselves.

some people have uninformed opinions which they share as the gospel truth. Sites like ‘vactruth.com’ and ‘thepeopleschemist.com’ are hardly going to give you unbiased, well-researched facts because you need to read more than just the hype. You need to read everything, because the unfounded fear of causing autism is not worth the reoccurrence of truly horrific diseases like polio or smallpox. But you know what, that’s just my opinion. Do your own research and form your own opinions by being informed, not by being ignorant and refusing to read further down the page.

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Imagine the things you care most about.


nexus magazine

SNAPPED Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Snapchat logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates at Burgerfuel. Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.

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DEATH TO MRS MAC Life of Pie The Pie Men

For weeks now the humble pie men have steered

for the “High End” of the brand. This is a little like say-

clear of what we knew to be our destiny and our

ing “No, we committed the good kind of genocide.” It’s

penance all at once. From a slight anti-Cambodian

a pretty meaningless distinction. The problem is that

sentiment to a failed trip down memory lane we have

when you see on the label ‘Roast Lamb with rosemary’

enjoyed our time but much like the terminally ill we

or ‘Butter Chicken’ there’s an expectation that this will

knew it was leading us to one horrific and inevitable

at least be slightly better than Irvines supermarket pies.

conclusion. Everything we had done had prepared us

In fairness we would have been happy if they were

for our greatest ever challenge: eating Mrs Macs Pies.

above whiskas cat food, but they were not.

From the day you come to uni it is obvious that

It’s time to face the truth: Mrs Mac needs to fuck

convenience is key and there is no more convenient

off and die. We need to go Marie Antoinette on her

woman out there than Mrs Mac. She sells her wares

and remove her aging pensioner figurehead with our

on every corner. She is like the mythical Succubus

guillotine of justice. Today we start the campaign for

“MRS MAC NEEDS TO FUCK OFF AND DIE. WE NEED TO GO MARIE ANTOINETTE ON HER AND REMOVE HER AGING PENSIONER FIGUREHEAD WITH OUR GUILLOTINE OF JUSTICE.”

draining the life from everyone she comes into contact

taste, the campaign for decency, the campaign for a

with but hiding behind an old timey logo are the cold

bakery on campus!

dead eyes of a predator. She gets you junkie hooked

We do want to point out that none of this is the fault

like any good meth dealer would. She may not be able

of Uni Mart. Your Hersheys cookies and cream is worth

to give you the first taste for free but she makes sure

crossing a desert for and your large blue Vs are the only

she is the only product on the shelf. We are convinced

reason we even come close to meeting our deadlines,

that no self-respecting human would walk into the

but this isn’t about you, it’s about pies.

pie warmer of a Mobil, Caltex or Uni Mart and think

So write to the Vice-Chancellor (rgtysec3@waikato.

“time for my weekly dose of congealed shit.” They do it

ac.nz), to the Students’ Union President (President@

because it’s Mrs Macs or no Pie. Well for the first time in history the Pie Men are

bennett@parliament.govt.nz) and tell them that the

going to say something we never thought we would

best birthday present the University could get is a bak-

ever say. If the choice is Mrs Macs or no pie, we

ery. A bakery with real bakery prices not this money

choose no pie. We even tried our best to fool Mrs Macs, we went

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wsu.org.nz), and to the MP for Hamilton East (david.

nexusmag.co.nz

sucking vortex. Death to Mrs Macs, THE REVOLUTION HAS BEGINS TODAY!


nexus magazine

Blind Dat�

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/ SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

XX

XY

THE LADY'S EXPERIENCE

THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE

I have to admit that this was actually my second time going

I had planned my night around reading and laundry, your typi-

on the blind date. So arriving and actually seeing there was

cal wild Tuesday night. This changed when I received a call to

someone sitting at the table and knowing that I had not been

go on a blind date. I accepted and then realised that I had

stood up by a random again was a great start to the night.

bugger all nice clean clothes and even less time to get ready,

Straight away it seemed we both had lots to say to each other.

so went home and changed into an old (but presentable) shirt

So much so that when the waitress came we hadn’t even

and jeans.

looked at the menus. Our meals came (ribs and lamb shanks)

I had no real expectations about the date itself. If truth be told,

and we even decided to be a bit cute and share. By dessert I

I was just as excited about getting out of the house for free

already had him whipped and ordering what I told him to. After

dinner and drinks, so I wasn’t really nervous about it at all. I

teasing each other about me being so young that I probably

sat and waited a couple minutes before she walked in and

liked one direction and him being one of those ‘mature stu-

was shown to my table. Nerves then hit me! She was good

dents’ we decided that friends is where it would stay. As we

looking! Dressed nice! Smelt great! Here I am looking second-

got along so well we ventured down the road to Timezone for

class and thinking about my stomach, poor girl.

a few more laughs where he wasted me at every game. We

I’m not a super talkative guy, preferring to speak only when I

got photos taken in the photo booth there so that we could

have something amazing to say. I made the effort though to

keep them as a souvenir of our great night. I hope that we will

ask a lot of questions and engage in conversation. Luckily, she

catch up again sometime.

was easy to talk to and conversation flowed. As well as being intelligent, she also had some quirky talents and interesting stories that made me laugh. She got cheeky as the date went on, but nothing said with any spite. Once the tab had dried up, we walked through town to the local arcade (her idea). As the self-proclaimed “King of Air Hockey”, I was amused with her ramblings of her prowess at the game. Needless to say, her ramblings were just that, and I won by a handsome margin. We played a few other games and had some good laughs as our competitive spirits were let out to battle. At the end of the night, we talked more and exchanged numbers. Maybe we will hang again sometime.

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OFFICAL NOTICE OF SGM WAIKATO STUDENTS' UNION

— By resolution of the Board of Directors pursuant to rule 10.1 of the

redundant. Other sections would benefit from clarification. The fol-

Constitution, a Special General Meeting of the members of the

lowing motions are administrative changes to the rules which should

Waikato Students’ Union (Inc) has been called in order to repeal, alter,

not impact on their effect.

add to or amend the rules of the Association.

1. THAT rule 2.1.4 of the constitution be altered to read

2.1.4 “Clear Days” means “all days excluding weekends, public

The meeting will be held in LG.01,

holidays and University holidays, and does not include any day

Wednesday 30th July 2014, at 1pm

on which any notice is given or any meeting is held”;

2. THAT rule 5.3 of the constitution be altered to read: The business of the meeting is to consider the Maori representative

5.3 The Association will recognise and act consistently with

role on the WSU Board and the duties associated with that position.

the principles of Te Tirity O Waitangi/The Treaty of Waitangi.

Motion 1: - Currently a General Election is held each year and all

3.THAT rule 7.1 of the constitution be altered to read:

members can vote for all office holders. This is set out in rule 8 of

Schedule Two to the constitution as follows:

may be fixed by a simple majority of the Annual General Meeting of

7.1 Each member shall pay such annual or other subscription as

8.1 An election shall be held for each of the following

the Association in accordance with clause 9.3.3 for the year of that

Board positions.

member's membership of the Association.

8.1.1 President

4. THAT rule 8.1.2 of the constitution be repealed:

8.1.2 Vice-President

8.1.2 Where a student applies to the University of Waikato

8.1.3 Vice-President Maori

under the “RELIEF ON THE GROUNDS OF HARDSHIP FROM

Four options will be considered:

PAYMENT OF FEES TO AND EXEMPTION FROM

MEMBERSHIP ON THE GROUNDS OF CONSCIENTIOUS

OBJECTION OF THE WAIKATO STUDENTS’ UNION STATUTE”,

The position will be filled ex officio by a person nominated to a

and the Committee which governs that Statute rules that such

representative role within the Roopu groups on campus (no

member shall be exempt from Association membership;

election)

5. THAT rule 14.3.1.4 of the constitution be altered to read:

A general election will be held and the VP Maori is elected by all students (the status quo)

An election will be held but only persons identifying as Maori

14.3.1.4 To be the WSU nomination as candidate for the

will be able to vote for the position (a Maori electoral roll will

University Council and other organisations as appropriate

be created)

6. THAT rule 14.4 of the constitution be altered to read:

A general election will be held but criteria will be introduced

14.4 Taking into account the need to ensure full and fair repre

requiring candidates to show they have connection with, and

sentation of all sectors of the University community the Board

endorsement by the Maori community

shall allocate responsibilities to individual Directors, taking into

Motion 2: - The role of Maori representation is large and dynamic. It

account any special abilities and expressions of interest.

may not be practicable to expect the person holding that office to also

7. THAT rule 14.5 of the constitution be altered to read:

undertake duties of a more administrative nature, that time and effort

14.5 In the event of any dispute or disagreement regarding the

may be better applied in the area of Maori engagement.

allocation of responsibilities the President will have the

THAT rule 14.3.3.1 and 14.3.3.2 of the constitution be repealed.

deciding vote;

In accordance with rule 10.5 of the Constitution, this is the only busi-

14.3.3 The Vice-President Maori - whose duties shall include;

14.3.3.1 To assist the President in her/his duties;

14.3.3.2 To undertake any Presidential duties in the

absence of the President;

ness to be transacted at this meeting. Further information is available from the office of the WSU.

Motion 3: - The introduction of the Education (Freedom of Association) Act has rendered some sections of the constitution

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Published 17th July 2014


nexus magazine

A DAY IN LOO MELISA MARTIN FROM YWRC

— Mel Martin is the Educator at the Young Workers Resource Centre, where she relishes the opportunity to tell people stuff they don’t

STUDYLINK PROBLEMS?

already know. It’s interesting when I go into a classroom,

AMBER CARDALE & LAURENCE MCLEAN

how many young people say to me things like

“shouldn’t I get double time on Christmas Day?” Or “can I just get paid out for the day in lieu?” So this week I have for you the lowdown on Public Holidays a.k.a Statutory Leave. There are 11 of the blimm’n things spanning the whole year starting with New Year’s Day, and January 2nd. The taking 2

nd

Kia ora e te whanau, ka nui nga mihi o te ra kia koutou katoa. This week’s column presents to you some serious shit about StudyLink and how to make sure you get the financial support that you need. Apart from being freakishly awesome at most things, can you tell which one of the below facts we can’t help with? •

of January off work can be

traced back to early settlers migrating from the Northern Hemisphere and bring their traditions with them as they adapted to a Summer Christmas/New Year’s break. Modern day

• •

Should you be getting paid double-time for

According to the Department of Labour

(by law) of time-and-a-half for working a New

holla at your advocates for help! •

a day-in-lieu. ‘In lieu’ means ‘in place of’ or Essentially, a day in lieu gives you a paid day off later in the year (by arrangement with your boss!) for having worked the public holiday

The WSU advocates can find out pretty fast what’s gone wrong if your application was declined.

of work, you are also entitled to what’s called ‘instead of’.

Are you in prison? (Your 8am lecture doesn’t count). Make sure you answer StudyLink it means you’ve missed part of the application out. That’s when you

ing on a public holiday you get a normal day’s If a public holiday falls on your regular day

Even if you aren’t a full time student you may still be able to get student

all the questions on your application. Often if you haven’t heard back from

Zealand Public Holiday. That means for workworth of pay, plus half that amount again.

If you can’t afford a dentist come into the WSU – we can pull your teeth free

allowance, living costs, or course related costs.

working Christmas Day? – No. every employee must be paid a minimum

The student advocates can help you apply for StudyLink's emergency grants.

of charge. I’m sure one of us did Health in high school…

Kiwis have adopted the custom, and now we reap the benefits.

Your WSU advocates have a direct line to StudyLink for any urgent enquiries so you don’t have to go through those pesky wait times.

StudyLink have their Hamilton office located at 468 Anglesea Street.

The student advocates at the WSU are your go-to ninjas this semester for all things Studylink. So if you are having any issues make sure to book an appointment with us.

that fell on a regular day of work for you. Contact: 0800 AT YWRC, ywrc@xtra.co.nz.

Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz.

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nexus magazine

NOTICES

Derby in Space BUT NOT REALLY

Time Management Seminar

Every Thursday from 11am - 1pm at the Waikato Student's Union in SUB. Brought to you by the WSU and Community Law Waikato. Supported by Law for Change. Email advocacy@wsu.org.nz for more information and booking.

WEDNESDAY 23RD JULY

NZSO

Level Zero. 1pm - 2pm. Want to learn how to

SHAKESPEARE IN MUSIC

Looking for something to do on a Saturday afternoon? Come down to the Melville skate rink at 4pm on Saturday the 26th of July and watch some ROLLER DERBY! Only $2 entry to support your local team, Hellmilton's Raggedy Angst, and watch them battle it out

manage your time better? Are you finding you never have time to fi The man that hath no music in himself / Nor

against the Hawke's Bay's Bay City Rollers!

is not moved with concord of sweet sounds

Maori Mentors PGRAY@WAIKATO.AC.NZ

/ Is fit for treasons... with this in mind, and marking his 450th birthday, we celebrate musical works that have been inspired by Shakespeare’s genius. Korngold’s Much Ado About Nothing Suite is a perfect demonstration of the lush melodies that made him such a popular film composer. And it was for a film version of Henry V that Walton

Maori Mentors for the manage-

composed his regal and resplendent score,

ment school start this week.

while Mendelssohn’s incidental music for A

Monday and Tuesday 2-5pm but

Midsummer Night’s Dream overflows with

they are looking for a third men-

musical magic. Balancing these iridescent

tor. If you are interested contact

works is Strauss’s symphonic poem Macbeth.

Pauline Gray.

A declaration of his faith in modernism, the work is unashamedly dramatic. Led by the supreme musicianship of British conductor

Free Law Advice 11:00AM - 1:00PM

Alexander Shelley, this concert brings the Bard to life in a ‘concord of sweet sounds’. Concert duration: 107 minutes Free pre-concert talk: 6.45pm – 7.15pm Tickets on General Public Sale Monday 10th February. Send any notices to editor@nexusmag.co.nz

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nexusmag.co.nz


nexus magazine

LAMB KOFTAS Cooking for Students Zac Lyon

With Re- O Week done and dusted excuses to skip class need to become more creative. I commonly go with ‘That lone cloud looks suspiciously like it going to rain’, ‘I think I would be more productive at home today’ or my personal favourite ‘I have no lunch to take to uni, therefore it would be better if I stayed home and made dinner early’. This recipe was actually one of those days- had a mean craving for some Turkish food, so decided to stay and home and prepare dinner (never mind it only took half an hour out of my day). These koftas are amazingly quick and simple to throw together. And to make matters even better, lamb mince is sometimes cheaper than beef mince. Ingredients 1kg of lamb mince (or beef mince – whatever is cheaper that week) 1 large handful of parsley 1 handful of coriander 1 tsp of coriander seeds 1 Tbs cumin powder 1 tsp paprika Salt and Pepper Directions 01_  Throw all the above ingredients into a large bowl

and get your clean hand mushing and mixing it

all thoroughly.

02_  Divide your mixture into enough balls to feed

whoever you are cooking for.

03_  Roll the mince balls into a long thick sausage. 04_  With a degree of maturity, skewer the long

sausage lengthways directly in the middle of

the sausage.

05_  Grill these bad boys on a BBQ grill or you can

simply fry them in a pan.

Serve these puppies with some couscous, tzatziki and rocket salad. If you fullas are still struggling to grasp this recipe’s simplicity (perhaps through the haze of a hangover – or other haze…) head over to my Youtube channel, Cooking4Students and check it out.

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nexus magazine

Codewords

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.

KenKen

Sequence

The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the

What shape comes next?

upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target number” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5, your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)

Syllabic

1. Pertaining to speech sounds: 2. Action of a lever:

From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.

3. Rubbery polymer: 4. Not having accommodations:

ac - age - an - ba - cal - com - con - dat - de -

5. One of the Aleutian Islands:

ec - ed - er - gi - i - i - ic - ic - ish - ka - ko - las - lev - ma - ma - mo - mol - na - net - nom - o - o - pho - plas - ro - sil - ty - u - un

6. Pertaining to modern Greece: 7. Thrifty: 8. Destroy: 9. Surgery to repair a blood vessel: Draw answer here.

10. Capital city of Mali: Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,

42

nexusmag.co.nz

HARD

MEDUIM

column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.

EASY

Sudoku


nexus magazine

Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.

Crossword

Solve the clues and fill in the words. Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.

Across

35. Winning move (9)

75. Claw (5)

10. Tightlipped (9)

50. Stringed instrument (5)

1. Fruit (5)

37. Dissimilar (7)

76. Component parts (5)

11. Short moral stories (6)

51. Desiccated (4)

4. Pill (6)

39. Sharp pain (6)

77. Acquired knowledge (7)

12. Article of clothing (7)

52. Ahead of time (5)

7. Adjusts (6)

40. Vanishes (10)

78. Moderate purple (5)

13. Shabby (5)

55. Totally unlikely (10)

11. Combat (5)

44. Nobleman (4)

79. Surprised greatly (7)

14. Flamboyant (6)

57. Confiscated (9)

15. Vegetable (7)

45. Group of players (4)

80. Ancient god of wine (7)

26. Encounters (5)

61. Threw into disorder (9)

16. Sewing implements (7)

46. Diffident (5)

81. Kindled (7)

27. Innate (8)

62. Appended (8)

17. Floorshow (7)

47. Unit of length (4)

82. Top tournament players(5)

28. Similar to a giraffe (5)

64. Greeting (7)

18. Performed (5)

48. Metallic element (4)

83. Peril (6)

29. Intense (5)

66. Domestic fowl (7)

19. Instructor (7)

52. Simple (10)

84. Paragons (6)

30. Pulpit (4)

67. Choose (6)

20. Protective stratosphere

53. Mystery (6)

85. Early warning system(5)

32. Type of sailing boat (9)

69. Memory loss (7)

layer (5)

54. Small edible fish (7)

Down

34. Differences of opinion(9)

71. Conference (7)

21. Each and all (5)

56. Revolt (9)

1. Mattock (7)

35. Felons (9)

72. Slim (7)

22. Totals (4)

58. Thin fog (4)

2. Mediate (9)

36. Presents (5)

73. Reptiles (6)

23. Sharp (4)

59. Capital of Norway (4)

3. Stashed (7)

38. Concur (5)

74. Allows in (6)

24. Narcissus plant (8)

60. Elude (5)

4. Pact (6)

41. Progenitor (8)

75. Jobs (5)

25. Molecule (4)

63. Gape (4)

5. Dressing (7)

42. Legal excuse (5)

87. Simian (3)

29. In front (5)

65. Roomy (8)

6. Large mammal (8)

43. Byword (5)

89. Snakelike fish (3)

31. Pleasant (4)

68. Amphibian (4)

8. Soreness (10)

49. Paper with crinkled

84. Notion (4)

33. Impartial (4)

70. Requests (4)

9. Small flute (7)

texture (5)

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