Nexus Magazine No. 19 2014 by Nexus Magazine

N.19 / V.46

nexus magazine

EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ DESIGN HAYLIE GRAY

CONTENTS

MANAGING EDITOR JAMES RAFFAN

—

CONTRIBUTORS SPORTS GUY

_03

Editorial

_04

Lettuce to the Editor

_05

News

_08

News from the University

_09

Sport

_10

Ridiculist & Vox Pops

_11

Reviews

_14

Honest Matt

_15

Horoscopes & Playlist

MEL

_16

Auteur

COVER ARTWORK

_17

Arts and Stuff

_18

Gaming as a

Story-Telling Medium

_22

A Fucking Good Interview

with Nigel Latta

_26

A-Z of New Zealand

Fashion Week

DR RICHARD SWAINSON HP BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF AUNTY SLUT ZAC LYON MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE RYAN WOOD KARL GUETHERT LOUISE HUTT SWEET PAINTED LADY LAUREN BARNARD LAURENCE MCLEAN AARON LETCHER DARCIE MATT HICKS SARA LEMME CARL UNTERNAHRER TRACEY COOPER

MICHELLE THORP BEHANCE.NET/MICHELLEEVELYN FACEBOOK.COM/MICHELLEEVELYN.ILLUSTRATION PHOTOGRAPHY & ILLUSTRATION LOUISE HUTT PHILLIP WONG KELSEY SCHEURICH MICHELLE THORP ANDRE KONG ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ OFFICES

_30 Columns

GROUND FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO

_38

Blind Date

KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON

_41 Recipe ONLINE NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ FACEBOOK.COM/NEXUSNZ @NEXUSMAG SPOTIFY: NEXUSMAGAZINE

nexusmag.co.nz

_42 Puzzles

PHOTOGRAPH: KELSEY SCHEURICH

nexus magazine

EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT

—

e return to campus for the second half of the semester

them up and demand money or cell phones from them, and even, in

beneath a cloud. It’s a big, grey, ugly cloud, and it’s been

one case, a guy was king hit from behind by some idiot drunk guy, for

pouring on us this whole time. But so many people seem

no damn reason at all.

oblivious to it. For those of you who don’t know, on the first Saturday of the break,

What the hell is going on in our city? What has happened to our safe campus?

at 8.30 in the morning, a woman was accosted, beaten and sexu-

We shouldn’t have to encourage people to walk in groups just to

ally assaulted on our campus. And no, they haven’t caught the sorry

keep them safe. We shouldn’t have to encourage people to change

excuse who did it.

their clothing choices so they don’t feel sexually threatened, or at risk

I certainly hope she was spared the indignity of the other 3 or so

of being king hit. I shouldn’t have to go and get my car from gate 1

(statistically speaking) women who were also sexually assaulted in

at 4.30pm, because I’m afraid to walk alone in the dark after work.

Hamilton that weekend. Of being asked how much she had had to

Apparently, I should be afraid to walk alone in broad daylight too.

drink. Being told she shouldn’t walk alone. Being told her choice of

And quite frankly? Fuck. That.

clothing meant she was asking for it. Of being asked if she had led

This campus is our home- let’s reclaim it. Smile and say hello to

the person on. Of being told, over and over, that it was her responsi-

strangers. Look out for your mates, your mate’s mates or even people

bility to prevent her rape, when the only people ever responsible for

you vaguely recognise from your lecture. Be kind to people, because

rapes are RAPISTS.

it seems nastiness is on the rise. I know it’s only a few rotten apples

And it’s not an isolated incident.

in an all-round awesome bunch, but when I’m walking by myself, I

What about the woman jogging around the lake last month, who

can’t tell from a distance if you’re a threat to me or not. A guy said

was being dragged into the bushes by a strange man and despite

hello to me on Saturday night, and my first instinct was to jump away

the fact there were plenty of people watching- no one stepped into

from him, because usually when men approach me in town it’s to be

help her, because the man muffling her screaming told them she

inappropriate and call me names if I tell them not to. I’m a friendly

was his girlfriend? Or the one by the river who managed to escape being thrown in the back of a van? What about the several cases in our city of women getting into taxis, being driven to isolated areas, and told they’ll be left there if they don’t do what the driver says? And it’s not just women. Men are feeling unsafe too. Friends have

person! I’m tired of not making eye contact with people just in case they take it as an invitation to take advantage of me. I’m tired of feeling afraid when walking alone in the dark and I’m sick and tired of hearing about my whanau (you guys!) being hurt. Let’s stand together. And if anyone knows who assaulted one of our own at the beginning of the holidays, bring that piece of scum to justice. For her. For me. For you. And for all of the students who call our campus home.

been ‘stepped out’ for wearing red T-shirts in town, had people bail

LETTUCE

nexus magazine

Dissapointing Law Ball FROM A CONCERNED LAW STUDENT

Suuupppp Nexus! Well, how bout that Law Ball ay? Being a Law Student myself, I have to say that the ball was a bit lackluster this year. It wasn't for lack of decorations or swag venue, it was for the LACK OF PEOPLE! There were probably less than 200 people there on Saturday night in such a huge venue.. So what's up with that? In previous years there have been heaps of people. Sometimes there isn't even enough room to swing a cat! But there were large spaces in the venue and a fair few crickets this time around. Heaps of my mates I went with agree with me- it was like a graveyard! Pretty stink to have so few Law Students show up. So why has this happened? Do Law Students no longer care about the Ball? Are WULSA to blame? What about the President? (by the way, I haven't seen him at any events all year..) Are tickets too expensive for a coupley savs and dinner?! Maybe we just need a huge piss up next year? Perhaps twokidsatuni should get onboard. Come on guys, we have to start showing up, before the culture of this awesome law school deteriorates any further!! Maybe the new WULSA can hype up the ball and get it raging again!!

Pumping Iron ANONYMOUS

Ive been hitting the gym a lot lately to get a bit of beef on my muscle for the ladies.

DISCLAIMER:

bitches be lovin that ripped body

Letters published contain the opinion of

its been 4 weeks since i started but i just cant seem to

the writer and the writer alone. Nexus

get through my shoulder days.

publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its

As the barbell rubs on my dick it gets me hard. Does this happen to anyone else?

publication in Nexus and subsequent pub-

how do you avoid getting a massive hard on as the

lic scrutiny. Letters are the authors own

weight grinds on your penis?

work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse

It made it worse when this dude winked at me after noticing my bulge. I guess it was nice of him to take notice. No homo.

to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hateÂ speech.

nexusmag.co.nz

Got something to say? Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

NEWS

FIRST, LET’S KILL ALL THE LAWYERS - SHAKESPEARE SARA LEMME

— There is a phrase in Latin, “duci novo, similis duci seneci” which, roughly translated,

which were said to include Facebook messages sent through Halls of Residence

means “Meet the new boss same as the old boss.” That was seemingly the case after

soliciting votes for a particular candidate or voting block during the three days

the WSU election when VP Shannon Stewart was appointed as the new President

and encouraging people to declare themselves as sick so that they can vote online.

of the WSU for 2015. Nexus understands that the declaration of a winner has been challenged this

In a statement released by Returning Officer Michael Tuck at the time of certification, he notes that complaints included but were not limited to:

week by a group of six members (including candidates Zanian Steele, Tau Marsden,

* Personal campaign material remaining on campus during the election period;

Jadeine Mcleod and Pape Barrett) who supplied us with a copy of a full thirty two

* Personal electioneering carried out during the election period;

page document with supported legal affidavits, alleging a number of candidates

* Use of social media to promote candidates during the election period;

have failed to comply with the rules. It seems that even the simple act of getting elected has the requisite level of drama attached that has dogged the WSU throughout the course of the year. According to Zanian Steele, if action is not taken now then it is a tacit endorsement of the behaviour. “I think the reason we decided to do this is that we feel if we don’t set a precedent now then it is just going to get worse and worse in the years to come.” “It seems really unfair and we just feel that there is a causal link between Shannon’s actions and the results.” The complainants’ contention is that a number of candidates, including PresidentElect Shannon Stewart and Vice-President-Elect Roy Mazorodze, knowingly and

* Non-observation of the rules of fair play as notified by the Returning Officer. Mr Tuck further noted that that a committee had reviewed each allegation but a number of complaints were not proven substantiated to the satisfaction of the Returning Officer- although he suggested he would not impede individuals pursuing further action if they wished. Apparently some of them did wish. Should the certified election result stand the board would consist of: Shannon Stewart (President), Roy Mazorodze (Vice-President) Taha Tangitu-Huata (VP-Maori), Melissa Hughes, Tau Marsden, Sophie Millar, Zanian Steele, Teina Walters. Indula Jayasundara, Kate Lunn, and Pape Barrett (Directors). At present the full certified results are:

willingly violated the rules of campaigning. This particularly refers to soliciting votes

President

through social media during the election period and a party held at one of the

Tau Marsden 633 votes, Shannon Stewart 723 votes

candidate’s houses during the election period. The complainants are seeking the

Vice-President

disqualification of those candidates. Zanian cited the 2008 decision where a court overturned the returning officer of

Zanian Steele 588 votes, Roy Mazorodze 660 Vice-President Maori

the Otago University Student Association and disqualified a candidate who had put

Taha Tangitu-Huata 970

on free kegs at a pub and then enticed people to vote for them online.

Candidates

“While some of the details are slightly different we feel that the intent and the

Melissa Hughes 478, Tau Marsden 400, Sophie Millar 399, Zanian Steele 303,Teina

effect were the same. This was a party at Roy’s house where free beer was provided

Walters 301, Indula Jayasundara 289, Kate Lunn 285, Pape Barrett 277, Julius

by a number of candidates and then participants were encouraged on the event’s

Daniels-Mata 272, Kale Isaac 272, Kaelyn Kingi 250, Shaun Letcher 242, Jadeine

page the next day by candidates to remember to vote.”

Mcleod 228, Nicole Jeune 203, Daniel Farrell 202, Johnny Ryan 192, Moses Simpson

Nexus was informed that over 20 complaints were received prior to the certifica- 190, Matthew Rae 180, Sheril Matthew 172, Candice Gollan 159, Anna O’Dea 147, tion of the election, some with attached screenshots showing the alleged violations

Sam Marelich 145, Abbey Trewavas 141, Beth Pearsall-Peters 136, Leonard Harris 77

nexus magazine

YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF JAMES RAFFAN

— Last week the Hamilton City Council announced that it was investigating tough new bylaws to crack down on the problem of homelessness and begging in Hamilton. The plan would include both enforcement and, where appropriate, social safety nets, but has a stated goal of eliminating homelessness by 2016.

“DID HE BURN THE BOOKS?” IS NOT THE RIGHT QUESTION

That seems perfectly reasonable. What doesn’t seem reasonable is the response from former Mayoral candidate and one time convicted fraudster Councillor Ewan Wilson who said to the Waikato

SARA LEMME

Times, "I'm of the opinion - and this will be contro-

—

versial - if you are homeless in this country it's either a choice of lifestyle or mental health.”

Book burning found its way into a WSU meeting agenda for

burnt books, he wouldn’t, he wants a future in politics. In

possibly the first time in the organisation’s history as it was

the words of David Farrar- “the hilarious thing is Aaron has

alleged that President Letcher had, along with a group of

done lots of stupid crap in his time. But this is not one of

CNI Young Nat’s, purchased and burned 212 copies of the

them.”

Nicky Hagar book Dirty Politics: a charge which Mr Letcher

WSU has a publically available conflicts register for meet-

denies. A group of students attending the meeting had asked

ings. Among other things it lists Aaron’s connection to

whether Mr Letcher had bought the organisation into dis-

the National Party and his brother’s connection to the

repute with his actions after former Nexus Editor Arthur

CNI Young Nat’s. However at the WSU meeting no-one

Robinson stated on Facebook that Aaron had burnt the

declared a conflict and removed themselves from the deci-

books. Robinson’s claim was later picked up by NZ First

sion whether Aaron should temporarily stand down.

Youth member Curwen Rollinson and a number of others

It isn’t so much that Nexus believes Aaron should be

including the Waikato Times. This resulted in #BookBurning

stood down, we actually think that the claims were more

briefly trending on twitter.

bravado and stupidity on the part of some young Nats in the

Mr Letcher stated to the Waikato Times that he had only purchased a single copy and was part way through reading it- although that statement was contradicted by right wing

wrong setting than anything else. It is that this board is going out of its way to appear correct without following through.

blogger David Farrar who said on his kiwiblog site that Mr

Nexus understands that four board members worked

Letcher had actually purchased six copies of the book and

with Mr Letcher for, or on the behalf of the company Curia

sent five to his mother.

Market Research which features prominently and is refer-

Mr Letcher excused himself so that the Board could

enced on a number of pages in Hagar’s Dirty Politics book.

discuss the allegations and agree to a process. Nexus

Given this company is seemingly the link between Mr

understands that at one point that vote was locked 5-5 as

Letcher and the book then it would surely stand to the test

to whether Mr Letcher should be stood down during the

of a reasonable person that these conflicts should have at

length of the investigation but eventually the board moved

least been declared, and that one or more of those people

that the “WSU takes the allegations seriously and will take

should recuse themselves from any vote or investigation

whatever steps they can to investigate them. At this stage,

that includes Dirty Politics or the conduct of Mr Letcher.

in the absence of any substantial evidence, the Board will

Should these claims be investigated by the Board itself

not stand the President down from his duties”- a motion

they would in all likelihood be found to be unsubstantiated.

that was carried 6 votes to 2.

But without clear and transparent guidelines around con-

The exact scope, nature and method of that investigation has not been released at this time.

flict, the whole thing will be a major black mark on a Board who will largely not be returning next year.

If this all seems like a bit of a circus that’s because it is.

It’s ironic that a story that began as nothing but silly

It’s theatre at the highest level and it’s our opinion that the

claims about Dirty Politics has resulted in really dirty look-

Waikato Times has focused on the wrong part, the sensa-

ing politics.

tional part of the story. Nexus doesn’t believe the Mr Letcher

The real question is once again about process. The

nexusmag.co.nz

"I will sail as close as I can sail to the issues of the Bill of Rights while sending a message that if you want to live homeless don't do it in this city." That’s right. Take a second to let that sink in. A councillor and former Mayoral candidate suggested to the region’s largest newspaper that the only way you can be homeless in NZ is if you have a mental illness or you decide to be. More than that he is issuing

“...IF YOU WANT TO LIVE HOMELESS DON'T DO IT IN THIS CITY.”

the homeless community a “get out of Dodge” ultimatum that says you want to carry on being homeless then knock yourselves out but this town has a new sheriff and he won’t tolerate this. However there is something to be said for Mr Wilson’s view that annoying public nuisances should be driven out of town for the public good, particularly if they are found to have committed some infringement that violates the by-laws or actual laws of the county. It’s a little ironic, but if Mr Wilson feels that way then perhaps he should start packing.

nexus magazine

UNFINISHED BUSINESS FOR HARVARD HEAVYWEIGHTS TRACEY COOPER

— The visiting Harvard University rowing crew will be after revenge after being controversially beaten by Waikato on their last visit here in 2007, a Great Race veteran says.

He says Harvard were a powerful crew and had a reputation “like the All Blacks”. “They hadn’t lost a race in ages.”

Harvard’s chance for revenge comes in the 13th running of the Gallagher Great Race, which takes place on Sunday, 14 September. They will compete against Waikato and

Former Olympian and world champion rower Nathan

The day before the Great Race, Twaddle and the rest of

Melbourne universities for the Harry Mahon Memorial

Twaddle took part in five runnings of the Gallagher Great

his crew - Simon Lack, Dave Shumacher, Graham Hill, Jamie

Trophy while the Waikato women take on Washington – the

Race, including in 2007, which Waikato won after a mid-

Twigg, Dan Murtagh, Liam O’Halloran, Cam Corkill and cox

first North American women’s crew to take part in the Great

race restart.

Mark Taylor – learned just how strong Harvard were.

Race - and Melbourne for the Bryan Gould Cup.

A few hundred metres into the 3.85km upstream race,

“Before each Great Race we do an erg competition and

Harvard were pulling ahead and attempted to cross in front

they had completely destroyed us so we knew we were in

of the Waikato crew and gain the favoured side of the river,

for it,” he says.

where there is less current. However, the Waikato crew protested the Harvard boat had impeded their progress and race referee Lee Spear agreed, calling for the race to be restarted. From the restart, Waikato surged away and held off a fast finishing Harvard to win. While it took a controversial restart to give Waikato the win, Twaddle says something always happens when races are held away from the millponds rowers are used to. “It’s a river race, it’s always controversial.” Twaddle says it was a deliberate tactic from Waikato to get off to a fast start, stay with a Harvard crew they knew were strong and force the visitors to row in the strongest current.

Twaddle and Hill could be excused for not being in the best possible shape, having just flown in from the Rowing World Champs in Munich days before the race. Ahead of the race, the Harvard coxswain was taken on the river and shown the course and currents so they had some local knowledge but Twaddle says there’s only so much you can learn in a short time. “That’s why it‘s such a coxs’ race, the more you know about the river is really important. We were out powered but we outsmarted them.” And that wouldn’t have gone down well with Harvard, who, he says, will be hell bent on revenge this year. “They don’t like to lose.” Harvard is sending a powerful crew - including New

See www.thegreatrace.co.nz for full details. Crews: Waikato men: Caleb Shepherd (cox), Finn Howard, Shaun Kirkham, Anthony Allen, Paddy McInnes, Issac Grainger, Richard Power, Hayden Cohen, Alex Bardoul. Harvard men: Alex Sopko (cox), James O'Connor, Sam O'Connor, Mike DiSanto, Ben Lynton, Matt Edstein, Andrew Reed, Peter Scholle, Patrick LaPage. Melbourne men: Tommy Nicholson (cox), Harry Picone, Charles Dixon, Jack Robinson, Lachlan Webster, Barclay Fitzpatrick, James McCann, Jason Izydorczyk, Carl Tomczak. Waikato women: Caitlin Lawry (cox), Zoe Stevenson, Brooke Donoghue, Olivia Loe, Adelle Stead, Christie Davis, Jess Ria, Claudia Hyde, Kayla Pratt. Melbourne women: Camilla Phillips (cox), Hedda Cooper, Rachael Caldwell, Phoebe Stanley, Holly Treverton, Claudia Hofbauer, Olivia Zago, Claudia Zucchelli, Pepi Hosking.

“We knew if we treated it like a 600 metre sprint and still

Zealanders James O'Connor, Sam O'Connor and Ben Lynton

Washington women’s crew is yet to be finalised but

have our nose overlapping their stern, they’d have to stay

–but will be up against a Waikato crew buoyed by recent

includes: Fiona Gammond, Kirstyn Goodger, Phoebe Spoors,

out in the current,” he says.

success at the World Champs in Amsterdam.

Patricia Obee, Ruth Whyman, Grace Spoors.

nexus magazine

NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY

EARLY VOTING ON CAMPUS — If you’re not going to be near a voting place on Election Day, Saturday 20 September, you can vote early at The Station on Hillcrest Road. The Station will become a voting place from Monday 15 to Friday 19 September and you can vote any time from 10am-4pm each day. Anybody can vote there, no

FREE INTERNET IS HERE —

matter what electorate they’re enrolled in. If you’re not enrolled, it’s not too late, but do it now! Go online at www.elections.org.nz, freephone 0800 36 76 56, pop into a PostShop, or freetext your name and address to 3676. Got questions? Ask away on Facebook at www.

Now you can upload, download, surf and stream as much as you like without having to worry about data caps.

facebook.com/ivotenz

The University now offers students free and unlimited* internet, available on all campuses via the computer labs or WiFi. Look out for the “UoW Students” connection. Lightwire will continue to be available for students and visitors. There will be no refunds for any Lightwire top-up data cards already purchased, but data can be used off campus where Lightwire is available. Halls of Residence students will still receive a 2GB data allowance for in-hall use. *While there is no cap, a ‘fair and reasonable use’ guideline will apply. More information on our website.

2015 STUDENT MEMBER OF COUNCIL – NOMINATIONS OPEN — Nominations are open for the 2015 student member of the University Council. All enrolled students are eligible to nominate and be nominated. Interested? Find out what’s involved at www.waikato.ac.nz/about/corporate/

FREE PUBLIC LECTURE THIS WEEK —

KINGITANGA DAY GREAT RACE 18 SEPTEMBER POWHIRI — —

Professor Brendan Hicks from Biological Sciences is an expert in freshwater fish ecology and land-use interactions. He will give his Inaugural Professorial Lecture, Fish in Freshwater – Made in the Shade, on Tuesday 9 September from 6pm in the Academy. The Opus Bar is open from 5pm.

student-member

nexusmag.co.nz

Kingitanga Day is a free public event that celebrates the University’s relationships with the Kingitanga and iwi from

Students are invited to a powhiri to officially welcome

across the nation. A wide range of seminars and workshops

crews from Harvard, Melbourne and Washington universi-

are happening across campus, including keynote speaker

ties to the 2014 Gallagher Great Race. The powhiri is on

Dr Lance O’Sullivan – 2014 Kiwibank New Zealander of the

Wednesday 10 September at Te Kohinga Marama Marae

Year. Kingitanga Day events kick-off at 9am on Thursday

at 9.45am. Please RSVP, with any dietary requirements, to

18 September. There are no other classes held that day so

rsvp@waikato.ac.nz or on extn 4007 by Friday 29 August.

students can attend Kingitanga Day activities. For more

The 2014 Gallagher Great Race is on Monday 8 September

information and to download a programme, visit www.

and Sunday 14 September. For more information, including

waikato.ac.nz/events/kingitanga

race times, visit www.thegreatrace.co.nz

nexus magazine

WORLD SERIES PREDICTION SPORTS GUY

— With the Major League Baseball season gunning down the home stretch, a lot of talk is surfacing about who will be playing in the World Series come

FIBA WORLD CUP POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES AS A SPECTATOR

the end of the playoffs. Here are my predictions for who will feature in the post-season from each league and who will come out on top. American League: The American League will feature the LA Angels, Baltimore Orioles, Detroit Tigers and Oakland Athletics. For me, the LA Angels will be far too strong for the rest of these teams. They have immense talent and power in their

SPORTS GUY - OPINION

batting line up and a rotation that can back that up.

—

National League: From the National League, I’m picking the LA Dodgers, St. Louis Cardinals,

For those of you who actually take the time to read my thoughts every week, it should come as no surprise that I am a massive basketball fan. So I’m pretty stoked that the basketball world cup is on at the moment.

Washington Nationals and San Francisco Giants. As much as I’d like to see the Cardinals play in the World Series again, I’m tipping the Dodgers to get up and take the National League pennant.

However, I couldn’t help but be disappointed for various reasons during certain games or at certain team lists (I’m looking at you, France). But

That’s right – I’m picking the 2014 World Series to be a Freeway Series. This

there are plenty of positives too, so here are a few of my personal FIBA

would make for an interesting matchup because it essentially eliminates

world cup positives and negatives.

hometown advantage. Bring on post season action!

Negatives: NBA players nursing injuries and not being named in their country’s squad. For example, Ersan Ilyasova (Turkey/Milwaukee Bucks) missed most of the 2013/14 NBA season with injury. He’s near being back at a good health level, but was not risking it in the world cup. Secondly, NBA teams not allowing their players to compete for whatever reason. From what I’ve gathered, this was the case for French stars Tony Parker (San Antonio Spurs) and Joakim Noah (Chicago Bulls). These two would tear a number of teams in the competition to pieces and would make a formidable duo, giving France the lift to potentially upset team USA – but that won’t be the case. We also have to go through the painful process of watching how all of Ricky Rubio’s offseason shooting training has done absolutely nothing for him sooner than normal. Positives: Pau Gasol goes off playing for Spain. I admire the way Pau plays, and it’s great to see him thrive in his nations colours. I also enjoy getting to watch the Kiwi boys get to work against some of the world’s best. And, of course, there’s watching Team USA absolutely rip everyone in their pool to shreds (which, sadly, will include the Tall Blacks). Even without bringing a bunch of all stars, the USA team will be tough to topple. Hooray for a bunch of basketball over the coming weeks. I’ll be watching as many games as I can and suggest you do the same.

nexus magazine

RIDICULIST

VOX POPS

Things Judith Collins may have said…

Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.

1 “Don’t forget to tell Aaron to burn those fucking books.”

Hannah, Law. Playstation or Xbox? Playstation because it has good handling, it's easier and I've played more fun games on one. Favourite website? Facebook because it kills time. What's a current obsession of yours? TVNZ app so I can catch up on shows.

2 “Can't imagine that they can find someone to take the fall for Phil. When Phil fails, will he then resign from Parliament so we can have a by-election so soon after the election? Perhaps he should just go now and then we can save money on a by-election?"

Frances, Sociology. Playstation or Xbox? I've never played either of them. Favourite website? intrepidforays.blogspot.co.nz What's a current obsession of yours? My phone is dumb. I like Snap?

3 “I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Wait, what? Oh, I was thinking of the Wong one. I did not have business dealings with that Chinese company.”

4 “I have no record of any FB conversations with

Louisa, Information Systems. Playstation or Xbox? Playstation, because that's what he likes. Favourite website? My blog intrepidforays.blogspot.co.nz. What's a current obsession of yours? Bacon reader- it's a reddit app.

Whaleoil, because that’s what the delete button is for.”

5 “I’m not avoiding the media. They aren’t allowed in the press gallery.”

6 “I’ll get you, and your little dog too!”

Andrew, Engineering. Playstation or Xbox? Playstation- it's more powerful. Put that down. Powerful. Favourite website? techdirt.com- it follows online and digital law and stuff. What's a current obsession of yours? Kerbal Space Program. You can build rockets and send people to space and stuff.

7 “Oh gosh, what a shock. The sort of thing that people who are no longer before the courts would want seen."

Hazel, Staff. Playstation or Xbox? Playstation because it's the only one I've tried. Favourite website? Facebook so I can keep in contact with people from back home. What's a current obsession of yours? What's app-

for free instant messaging.

“You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?”

Mike, Science. Playstation or Xbox? Playstation. I don't know why, I've never

9 "Oh dear. All this open government thingy.”

nexusmag.co.nz

played on one. Favourite website? Youtube for all the free videos. What's a current obsession of yours? I've got a dumb phone. Monopoly!

nexus magazine

The Lunchbox

The Expendables 3

FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON

FILM REVIEW BY DARCIE

It is usual practice to begin the Hamilton Film Festival with a populist,

I always jump at the chance to see The Expendables movies at the

feel-good movie. Sometimes you get to the end of the festival and

cinema. This is because although they never turn out great, it doesn’t

realise that the opening night selection was actually the weakest film

matter, because I like the action and I like the group of guys in their

of the lot. In 2014 this trend has happily been bucked. The Lunchbox,

action element on screen - and I think that’s the point. Directed by

a gentle romantic drama from India which kicked this year's event off,

Patrick Hughes, The Expendables 3 adds more bulk to the original cast

need not be apologised for in the slightest. The premise is a simple one, if wonderfully embellished. Saajan

and team, such as Harrison Ford, Wesley Snipes, Mel Gibson, Antonio Banderas and Kellan Lutz.

Fernandes is a weary office worker who has elected to take early

The movie relies on these big names and also the talents that the

retirement. A childless widower, there is little excitement in his life.

majority of the mains have, whether it is martial arts, boxing, wres-

Like many of his peers he has his lunch delivered to him at his desk

tling, or weight lifting - all of which feed into the ‘action-hero’ concept

via courier. When the calibre of the cooking suddenly improves it

nicely. I’m happy the new cast was the ‘freshener’ for the series,

piques his interest. He begins corresponding with the chef, an equally

because even without particularly loving any of the new team, I still

unhappy housewife called Ila.

liked seeing new faces. Mel Gibson, however, was totally the man

While the cultural specifics of the backdrop have their own fascina- with the takeout performance, if there was one. tion, the connection forged between two lonely souls has universal

This time, Barney (Stallone) finds himself and his team working a job

appeal. The bustling Mumbai cityscape, class and gender dynamics

which involves the thought-to-be-dead co-founder of the Expendables,

and uniquely Indian practices are evocatively presented yet the heart

Stonebanks (Gibson). After some mess, Barney makes the decision

of the film is the coming together of would-be lovers who only know

to ‘upgrade’ his team by pulling in some fresh talent to take on the

each other through increasingly intimate notes. Performances of

personal mission of finding Stonebanks and unleashing the fury.

subtlety and restraint from Irrfan Khan and Nimrat Kaur communi-

The Expendables doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously and just

cate both the claustrophobic frustrations of the characters and their

wants some action. It’s a series that might be seen as crap but it

hesitant need to fantasise about fresh beginnings. It almost doesn't

doesn’t matter, actors still want their names attached to it.

matter that Khan is far too young to play Saajan, which slightly undermines the idea of cross-generational romance.

nexus magazine

While (1<2)

Nobodies Smiling

ALBUM REVIEW BY HP

Canadian House producer and electronica wizard/mau5, Joel

The catch with Chicago’s first hip hop son (yes, before Kanye and

Zimmerman has recently released his seventh full length album, While

Lupe), is maybe just that. He was first, but seems to be finishing last.

(1<2). Huge at 25 tracks, the album is far more elephant than mouse.

His tenth studio album has moments of simple brilliance and complex

Deadmau5 uses the vastness of the album to continue to explore

awe, but too often the production gives out, his slick flow stumbles

both sides of experimental house music visiting both the up and the

or his usually sharp lyrics seem stilted.

down. The album reveals some of Deadmau5’s more interesting work while stays true to club banging base. Opening track and lead single, Avaritia, is a sign of things to come.

The soulful opener The Neighbourhood is broken up by weather reports, and no, that isn’t an analogy. But at least Common sounds smooth, unlike the very next track where he sounds like he is practis-

It’s broad and brooding as it builds into layers of beats and bass. But

ing a freestyle that would never make a record. Maybe this is just

the funk is intermittent. The downtime, the space between the songs

Common experimenting with rhythms. On Black Majik, he starts

and notes is where Deadmau5 offers cranking greyscale. It takes time

verses that take over neck muscles and soon heads are nodding, but

and shifts in mood before he swings back up into My Pet Coelacanth.

then he changes up, messes with the rhythms and throws the whole

The song is all groove filled with knob turning treble and the occa- feel. With the stand out track, Speak My Piece, Common finally is able

sional “fuck” and then it’s back into the depths. And then it’s up again

to marry his flow and his lyrics with a beat that works. It proves this

into, well… you get the picture.

veteran still has it, but maybe only by the tips of his fingers.

The album is warm and swelling, not unlike something orchestral

Common is renowned as a wordsmith, but here too he is hit and

and nothing like what Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor is known

miss. He has a strong story on Hustle Harder and holds his own

for, but he’s involved in a couple of tracks. The second half of the

against poet Malik Yusef on the title track when he spills “I draw with

album holds an ambient feel and picking out the acoustic guitars and

the goddess like an artist/Getting paper with no margins, money gods”.

piano over the electronica is a game for the whole family. The scale

Then lines like “hard like liquor” have to suffice for similes. Fans will

of this album is both its most rewarding feature and most irking. But

find something on the album, but if you are curious about Common

as a journey, it’s worth taking, just pack supplies.

then find his back catalogue.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

Keystone

Minecraft Xbox 360

DESSERT REVIEW BY MEL

GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT

The husband told me I need a hobby. I told him I was going to eat des-

I’ll be honest here – when I first saw Minecraft a long while back, I

sert with my friends for a hobby. He was less than convinced that this

had an immediate bout of snobbery. “I’m not playing a game in this

was an actual thing. Now I’m writing reviews – see totally legit hobby! First up we headed to Keystone – I wanted to try the apple and

day and age where they can’t be arsed with proper graphics” I said. Out loud. To myself. And then I never played the game.

rhubarb crumble but it didn’t come with ice cream which, let’s be

Until just recently. Turns out I had made a rookie move. Despite the

honest, is kind of a deal breaker. I wanted to try everything so my

lack of “ZOMG, teh bestest grafix eva!” the game is fun as hell. To

friend and I went splitsies in the ice cream sandwich (cookies AND

be fair, I first started off playing in creative mode with a friend. We

ice cream!) and the caramel slice (salted caramel ice cream and pop-

built a massive obsidian castle and an underwater pyramid. And I

corn!) and I was definitely more enthused about the latter because

loved every minute.

caramel is kind of my thing. I was wrong. The ice cream sandwich

I’ve been reproducing, in creative mode, the dungeon from an old

was amazeballs. The cookies were warm and had huge chunks of

adventure gamebook (specifically Deathtrap Dungeon – or Deathtrap

meltly dark chocolate throughout. Surprisingly the Italian meringue on

Fucking Dungeon for those of you familiar with it) and have moved

top was my favourite part – it was warm and marshmellowy and was

on to survival mode. I spent the first few nights cowering in a hole

like eating a delicious cloud. As for the caramel slice I literally loved

I dug in a hill, while zombies and creepers roamed around outside.

every part of the dish except the slice. Salted caramel ice cream? Yes!

It’s a bit of a slow crawl at first to get started with making weapons

Caramel peanuts? Awesome! Caramel popcorn? Delightful! Caramel

and building materials, but the Xbox version makes this easier than

slice? Meh – tasted like the generic bought ones I’ve sold at a bunch

the PC version (apparently…). Also, the adage “Don’t Mine At Night”

of cafes before. I had some Spy Valley Sav to accompany all the sugar

is entirely apt. I had to run a gauntlet of skeleton archers, evil demon

and it was tops.

spiders, zombies and creepers when I got caught out in the dark.

Oh and I did get to try the apple and rhubarb crumble because my friends are lovely and/or because I stab my spoon into other’s des-

So, there’s scope for two different gaming styles – either playing the game as intended, or simply mucking around building random crap.

serts, and it was pretty tasty. Still needs ice cream though.

nexus magazine

HØNEST MATT MEETS RYAN WOLF Honest Matt Matt Hicks

So Ryan, tell us a bit about yourself? Well I'm currently the promotions

up a 'gash-pit' (DJ booth in the middle of the dance floor) and it was such

manager at the Stables on Alpha in Cambridge and promote events under

an epic night. And also when we set up a marquee at the back of Altitude

my EnoughSaid brand. I've been a bit of an off-and-on promoter throughout

for the first time ever, that was the most insane vibe I've ever seen. People

my life - the first 'event' I ever ran was actually at the Hautapu Clubrooms

were raging so hard we had to hold the booth on stage because it was being

when I was Year 11. It was pretty bloody rugged in hindsight but I made $500

pulled into the crowd. What's your most rock’n’roll story from your time

and thought that was pretty choice. I did some travelling overseas when I

promoting? Care to share any? Hmm there are plenty of stories...none of

finished school then did a Law Degree at Waikato Uni after that. I ended up

them printable. You must closely analyse how bigger brands (music or

really getting into promoting when I launched Covert Raves a few years back,

otherwise) conduct their promotions. Are there any brands out there

which was a real roller-coaster ride of ups and downs. I then took a break for

that particularly impress you with their promotional skills? As a pro-

a couple years but the opportunity arose to take the position at the Stables

moter you're always keeping an eye out for what other promoters are doing,

so I thought that would be a cool challenge to try and get some awesome

what acts they're bringing in, ticket prices etc. There are certainly some guys

parties going again. What's the hardest thing about being a music/events

out there that impress. Jamie Templeton (Illuminate Paint Party) is very clever

promoter? I think the hardest thing about being a promoter would have to

with his promotion; he's not scared to take risks and is always pushing the

be managing the risk. Big acts require big cash and it's always a balancing

boundaries. Mitch Lowe is also running a very well-oiled promotion machine

act. Along with all the awesome gigs I've also had some shockers, you have

right now. Any final words/shout outs? Final words...there's nothing more

to just learn from your mistakes and back yourself. What's the best thing

rewarding than when someone says to a promoter ‘Hey, that gig was epic’.

about being a promoter? The best thing about being a promoter is honestly

So don't be shy you'll probably make someone’s day. I'll throw a shout out

just seeing people having an awesome time at an event you've organised.

to the EnoughSaid Promo Team (you know who you are). We have some

A huge amount of work goes into planning and pulling off good gigs and I

awesome gigs coming up over summer so give us a wee like at facebook.

love to see people loving it and letting loose. What have been some of

com/enoughsaidparties and we might see ya there.

the highlights in your promoting career thus far? As far as highlights go, sometimes it's not the gigs with a thousand people that stick out. Probably one of the most enjoyable gigs was when I had Vaski at Flow Bar, we set

nexusmag.co.nz

More at sounzgood.co.nz

There is a reason no one compliments you on your clothing choices. This reason may be that the shoes you wear are a mixed shade of impractical and god-awful. On the other hand, it’s probably that you’re just vain and bitchy and no one wants to add fuel to that fire.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

It’s time to really push your limits. Instead of your usual maximum two-day gap, see if you can go a third day without washing your hair. Sounds crazy, and that’s because it is. It’s also really unnecessary and a bit gross, but you’ll never know until you try.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Do you ever wonder whether you will live to see the reunion of your favourite television characters? Full House, Friends, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We discussed this with the almighty TV gods at our weekly god meetings – not going to happen.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

This week you will lose something near and dear to you. A close relationship, your iPhone in the level 4 library toilets, the last ¼ of perfectly ripe avocado in the refrigerator. Be prepared for an extended period of mourning; particularly if it means you now have to have jam on your toast.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

HOROSCOPES

Things are going well for you, aren’t they? You’ve got a healthy love life, your bank account is out of the red for the first time in months, the sun in shining etc. Relish it now, because your childhood dog is getting quite old isn’t she?

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Does this shirt go with these pants? The top has this crazy pattern that’s really in your face and neon orange, and the bottom is kind of just blah and grey? Does that work? …What, I give you advice every week; it’s about time you gave it back.

Your mum doesn’t know shit. She has brought you up to think that she knows best, but give her a lagging iPad and you’ll realise that some things are just too modern a problem for parental advice. Listen to your horoscopes instead. Buy the shoes and the bag.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

I understand you are stressed, but try not to worry about it too much. Let the criticism be water off a ducks back. What do these people actually know? Do they have grounds for their accusations? Besides, it’s not lying if you convince yourself it’s the truth first.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

The answer is not 42; it is “always hustle.” Unless you’re dealing with a break up and then the answer looks more like chocolate and ice cream and meaningless sex with your flatmate. We’re not advising you to get fat and ruin a great living situation, but you can’t deny it’s the reality.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

You can't just walk around responding only to Bey when your name is Ruth. You can’t force nicknames, Ruth. They need to spontaneously arise out of weird or hilarious circumstances before being slowly normalised. Kind of like jokingly abbreviating certain words until you can’t physically stop yourself from whatevs k.

So you’ve got yourself into a red pill blue pill kind of a situation. Never fear, Nexus horoscopes are here. We advise that you take the red pill. Unless you’re a dick – in that case take the blue cos we don’t want you in our red pill head space if you’re going to be like that.

Spring is here, bitches. Stop putting things off “cause it might rain.” Grab your assignment schedules by the balls and throw ‘em out the window. The sun is out and you have tanning to catch up on. There’s only 3 months until summer and that is all that matters in life.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

nexus magazine

SoundCloud Playlist II BEATS BY J

Cosenza / MidTempo - EDM.com

WIGGLE UR BUTT

(Slander & NGHTMRE Festival Trap Edit)

We Like To Party

Showtek / SLANDER.

R3HAB & NERVO - Ready For The Weekend Feat. Ayah Marar (Club Mix) Spinnin' Records

Whistle Bounce [Uberjakd VIP] Uberjakd / Uberjak'd

(ETC!ETC! Moombahton Edit) {Free DL} Duke Dumont - I Got U ETC!ETC!

Steve Aoki - Rage the Night Away feat. Waka Flocka Flame (Flosstradamus Remix) Flosstradamus

(THUGLI Remix) [Mad Decent] Diplo & GTA - Boy Oh Boy

THUGLI

Iggy Azalea Ft. Rita Ora - Black Widow

(Rogue Remix)

Rogue (Official)

Nico & Vinz - Am I Wrong (Gryffin Remix)

Gryffin Official

Major Lazer x Flipo - Doh Tell Meh Dat (Remix)

Major Lazer [OFFICIAL]

Katy Perry - This Is How We Do (Brillz Remix)

ItsBrillz

Follow nexusmagazine on Spotifiy.

nexus magazine

AUTEUR PRESENTS LAUREN BACALL Auteur Dr Richard Swainson

Lauren Bacall once said that "being a widow is not a profession".

5. How to Marry a Millionaire (1953). Bacall is on hand at the changing of

Though her reputation rested solidly on the fact of having been married to

the blonde-sex-symbol guard as Betty Grable passes the baton to Marilyn

Humphrey Bogart from 1945 to 1957, she was only 33 when he died. Perhaps

Monroe. The tale of three gold-diggers who end up seemingly settling for

not a great actress but a distinctive Hollywood personality, Bacall's career

less, it is amusing if indebted to Monroe's earlier Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

continued until this year, a full seven decades after the most celebrated debut in movie history. Auteur House stocks the majority of Bacall's best work. Here's a top ten list, in chronological order:

addiction. Dorothy Malone won a supporting Oscar; Bacall is solid in the lead. 7. The Shootist (1976). John Wayne's final, poignant film in which the

1. To Have and Have Not (1944). The legend was born when 19 year old

real-life health woes of the Duke bleed into those of his screen character.

Bacall taught Bogie how to whistle. Fidelity to the Hemingway book took

Bacall is the widow who offers non-sentimental solace. A mature, moving

a backseat to the pair's smouldering chemistry though the film is still a

performance.

gripping thriller. 2. The Big Sleep (1946). One of the great works of the American cinema.

8. Dogville (2003). Taking an unfussy part in Lars Von Trier's ensemble, Bacall proves herself up to the challenge of experimental cinema, shooting

Bacall's part in this adaptation of Raymond Chandler's novel was beefed up

on a bare soundstage with largely imagined props and backdrops. A triumph

after the initial version was completed. The final result is nonetheless seam-

for all concerned.

less, with dialogue of unprecedented wit and sexual subtext. 3. Dark Passage (1947). The least known of the Bogie-Bacall films but in some ways the most fun. Bogie only appears on screen after about an hour, his character initially bandaged and director Delmer Daves employed a first person camera technique to innovative effect. 4. Key Largo (1948). The last of the couple's pairings, Key Largo offers better parts to the supporting players, with Claire Trevor winning an Oscar and Edward G Robinson deserving one. A stilted and stagey play adaptation.

6. Written on the Wind (1957). One of Douglas Sirk's now critically admired 1950s melodramas. A purposefully over-the-top tale of lust, infidelity and

nexusmag.co.nz

9. Birth (2004). Another strong if small part in an unusual, cutting-edge drama. Nicole Kidman thinks her dead husband has been reborn as a young boy. Mummy Lauren begs to differ. 10. The Walker (2007). Paul Schrader's character study of a gay dog-walker and his upper crust clientele is an acquired taste but this film is impeccably acted, not least by Bacall, employing her caustic wit magnificently. At 83 she's still got it.

nexus magazine

KEEPING ABREAST Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf

Art awards and competitions come in an assorted range of shapes and

ensue if one is not abreast.

sizes. Some are politically massaged like the prestigious Walters prize in

So let me be your thirty second guide to the winner in the show with its

Auckland. The art world on this tiny island can be quite incestuous at times,

up-to-the-minute take on where it’s all at. It consists of a fluorescent light

given it’s as claustrophobic as a Cooperite cult.

tube balanced precariously on a wooden ledge, or was until some cretin

The annual one in Hamilton is much less so. The National Contemporary Art Award is on at the Waikato Museum and is a fair representation of the state

touched it, whereupon it crashed to the floor and disappeared into a myriad of white shattered pieces.

of art in this country at the moment. If you want to keep abreast of things

What’s that all about? Well, in short, fragility, a visible manifestation of it.

artistic, pay a visit. If confused and nonplussed by what you see, read the

It’s also about the question of taking something to the level of extremity

labels. If that doesn’t help, and sometimes it doesn’t, you might need to do

where it creates a palpable sense of tension and unease. It’s also about

a little background research. Gone are the days when art was self-evident.

surfaces that invite touch. So here we have a conundrum. To touch or not to

Since about 1860, painting and sculpture became a little difficult to get

touch? An image of beauty, fragile, perfectly crafted, exquisitely balanced and

one’s head around. It all went pear-shaped, according to Joe Public, a short

yet inviting touch which might precipitate destruction, the sound of which

time after Monet, Munch and Malevich let loose with images that challenged

is delectable.

the conventional portrayal of things. Realism and literalism were discarded in

These are the kinds of contradictions that postmodernists salivate over.

favour of a more personal interpretation of reality – subjective and expressive

Why? Because it embodies the equivocal. It’s the essence of the pm posi-

were in vogue.

tion – the end of absolutes and binary opposites, stuff that reaches back to

Part of this had to do with artists kicking free from the system of art pro-

the writings of people like Derrida. Something the writer Jeanette Winterson

duction that was controlled by the church and state. It meant artists could

grasped in her meta-fiction, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, when writing

now experiment, painting their own individual vision of things on canvas. It

about her fundamentalist mother: “She had never heard of mixed feelings.

also meant they were free to starve in their garrett.

There were friends and there were enemies.” Friends were God and slug

Enter the twentieth century with all its isms – cubism, surrealism, abstraction and back, that left the populace even more bewildered. Then modernism

pellets. Enemies were sex and the Devil. Classic.

gave way to postmodernism. Are you keeping up? Multiplied confusion can

nexus magazine

I'm Game for a Story: Gaming as a Story-Telling Medium CARL UNTERNAHRER

Ways in which gaming contrasts with other forms of story-telling. Because we are well aware you lot don't read enough books. Illustration by Michelle Thorp. “Papers, please.”

one green. His hand lingers over them…

The inspector looks over his desk and through the

This is a description of a situation I faced while play-

booth window at a kindly old woman. As she hands

ing a video game called Papers, Please. In this game

him her papers, he asks;

the player assumes the identity of an immigration

“What is the purpose of your trip?”

inspector in a fictional country styled on those of the

“I am so happy that the border has finally opened,” old Eastern Bloc. Papers, Please presents the player the woman beams, “I’ll visit my son. I have not seen

with a bleak world where ‘doing the right thing’ is nei-

him in six years.”

ther clear-cut nor easy. Playing it is both a challenging

The inspector flicks through the woman's papers as she talks. Her passport appears to be in order but her

and a thought-provoking experience. It tells a story.

“GAMES AND STORIES ARE TWO OF THE FEW THINGS THAT CAN STIR A SPARK OF LIFE IN MY BITTER AND WITHERED HUSK OF A HEART.”

ILLUSTRATION: MY LITTLE BIG PLANET AVATAR BY MICHELLE THORP

entry permit has passed its expiration date. “This document has expired. You cannot enter using an expired document.” “Please let me pass,” the woman wrings her hands in desperation, “My son is waiting.”

But what are some ways in which gaming differs from more traditional mediums of storytelling, such as books or film? To my mind, the primary difference lies not in the medium itself, but in the audience. The reader of a book or the watcher of a film/television

The inspector's conscience wills him to let her

show is passive. They sit down and allow information

through. But doing so will mean that his (already mea-

from the story to be relayed to them. Gaming differs,

gre) wages get docked. He has his own family to look

however, in that the player takes an active role in inter-

out for back at the apartment. Is he willing to risk let-

acting with the story's setting and characters.

ting them freeze or starve, just to help out a stranger?

Having an ‘active audience’ confers some advan-

Two stamps sit on the inspector's desk, one red and

tages and some disadvantages onto gaming as a

nexus magazine

medium of storytelling.

going to talk about plot in detail. I could easily spend

One such advantage is that the active nature of

well over a thousand words gushing about Planescape:

gaming allows for a greater degree of immersion

Torment or Spec Ops: The Line alone and just as easily

than passive media. The horror genre is an excellent

spend them disparaging games like Final Fantasy XIII

example of how deeply a game can draw a player

or Modern Warfare 3 (well, the single player campaign

into its setting. A horror film is scary because you

at least). And that's the thing. Just like in other media,

empathise with the characters. You clench your fingers

some games have good plots and some don't. It's both

as you watch them creep down the corridor toward

difficult as well as short-sighted to make generalisa-

the shadowy doorway because you imagine yourself

tions across the board.

as being in their situation. But gaming takes you in

I have less reservations, however, in making generali-

a degree further. In a horror game like Amnesia: The

sations when it comes to pacing. Pacing issues are a

Dark Descent, you take the character's perspective in

problem that every game faces to some extent. This is

a literal as well as a figurative sense. You must force

the other side of the coin in regards to the active nature

yourself to take each tremulous step down the cor-

of gaming. While a passive audience experiences a

ridor toward the shadowy doorway. The volition behind

story at the pace intended by the writer (which usually

the act of moving closer draws the player deeper into

is the ideal pace), pacing in a game is also affected by

the setting.

the whims of the player. While active engagement is

“YOU MUST FORCE YOURSELF TO TAKE EACH TREMULOUS STEP DOWN THE CORRIDOR TOWARD THE SHADOWY DOORWAY. THE VOLITION BEHIND THE ACT OF MOVING CLOSER DRAWS THE PLAYER DEEPER INTO THE SETTING.”

An immersive game can improve a player's interac-

of some players to find every collectable, murder every

their emphasis on character development (such as the

enemy, or simply get lost in a sprawling level can rap-

Mass Effect series or The Last of Us); a player does

idly de-escalate tension at times where the pacing is

not stand by, passively watching things happen to the

meant to be intense. Pacing is, to my mind at least, the

cast. The player explores and runs and fights alongside

most difficult hurdle for a game-narrative to overcome.

of them. Over time, this can allow for greater feelings

Games and stories are two of the few things that can

of attachment/empathy between player and characters.

stir a spark of life in my bitter and withered husk of a

I challenge you to name one person who wasn't heart-

heart. While the interactive nature of a game can some-

broken when they reached the end of disk one in Final

times put it at odds with the story it's trying to tell,

Fantasy VII for the first time. So if a particularly immersive game can draw a player

when pulled off correctly the experience is amazing. English majors can scoff if they want to, but I maintain

deep into its setting and encourage them to engage/

a conviction that gaming has the potential to become

empathise with its characters, does this necessarily

our most powerful medium for storytelling.

translate to good storytelling? Short answer: no. While immersion can certainly facilitate the delivery of a story, all that effort put into building a rich setting and interesting characters is going to be wasted if the game's plot or pacing are shoddy. And these are the areas where many potentially good games fall apart. For fear of running off on a giant tangent, I'm not

what defines games from other media; the tendency

tion with its characters as well. In games known for

nexusmag.co.nz

Gameplay or story: Why not both?

nexus magazine

Leaving town soon? Need storage? Safe, Secure, Affordable

SPECIAL STUDENT OFFER

3 months fixed term Save $200

S E L F S TO R AG E

Call Shirley or Nigel for all the details Ph 846 6144 • storeit4U@xtra.co.nz • 176 Ellis St, Frankton www.storeit4u.co.nz

nexus magazine

A Fucking Good Interview with Nigel Latta RACHAEL ELLIOTT

“I’ve been trying to say fuck on TV for years because I think it’s an awesome word but they won’t fucking let me.” Latta tells us about his current documentaries, what’s coming up and how he thinks students are being fucked over. So is TV really glamorous? Fuck no. Fuck no! When

What’s the biggest issue you’ve covered? If I had

shiny. I’d done some stuff for interviews and that was

to pick one thing and someone said right, we’ll make

all a bit shit, that was just masking tape and light-

you King of the world for a day and you can change it

ing. But when we did the first Beyond the Darklands

would be alcohol.

series I thought ‘this will be in the studio and it’ll be all

Nigel is King for a day. What would he do? I would

awesome’ but it was a shithole plastic chair from The

pick up the Law Commission’s report on alcohol and I

Warehouse with a bit of black velvet up behind it and

would say ‘and this is now what we’re going to do’. I

that was it. It wasn’t even a fucking nice chair, it was a

would follow all of their recommendations- I’d increase

shit chair! Most of the time it’s just answering emails

the price, I would restrict availability, I’d increase the

and shit. Making telly is usually a bunch of guys driving

drinking age, I’d get it out of supermarkets and stuff

around in a van, talking shit. You’ll stop, set some gear

and I would stop them from marketing it. Because it all

up, have an interesting conversation or do something

comes from alcohol- crime, inequality- they build more

interesting, pack it all down, drive off, have a coffee

alcohol places in low income areas because it’s easy

and talk more shit. We spend a lot of time talking about

to get that shit in there, and it’s cheap as chips. That’s

the zombie apocalypse- what we’d do. It’s good fun.

the one thing you can say there is a simple solution,

Someone is going to figure out soon that I’m full of shit

it’s evidence based research that if you change it you

and they’ll chuck me out but until then…

have an impact, so alcohol is the one I would change.

Why did you choose these topics for your docu-

Students are going to go ‘raising the drinking

mentaries? It’s these really important things and no

age, and raising the price- why would you do that?

one was talking about it. So we thought, fuck it then,

How could you be so cruel?’ What would you say

we will. Like- I spent 20 years doing clinical stuff and

to them? I get that you’d be pissed off with me and I

alcohol is implicated in everything so why are we

remember sneaking into bars when I was 18 at Otago

always going on like ‘what’s going on with alcohol’? It

and thinking ‘I can go to war man, why won’t you let

turns out that there are some really good reasons why

me buy a drink in a pub?’ I get it. I know you’ll dislike

we’re in this alcohol drenched culture and it’s a really

me and it will irritate you but when you’re 40 you will

powerful industry that is setting out to do what it does

thank me.

and we’ve got a particularly weak response to it from

our policy makers which is really fucking annoying.

I first started doing it I thought this is going to be all

nexusmag.co.nz

Advice for students? Three things:

nexus magazine

“STUDENTS SHOULD BE ENROLLED AND YOU SHOULD BE VOTING BECAUSE YOU’RE BEING FUCKED OVER.”

nexus magazine

1) You’re freer now than you will ever be so enjoy the

was possible. It’s people along the way who make you

bejesus out of it. Because before you know it you’re

think differently about yourself. I have fuck-all people

looking at the windows thinking ‘oh we need to get the

come to me and say ‘oh yeah I had this great counsel-

painter around to fix those up’. 2) One person can make a difference. You think

ling session and it changed my life’- they talk about teachers and they talk about social workers or just

corporations run the world and what can I do- fuck

someone who said something that made them feel

that- you can make a difference.

differently about themselves.

3) Make your own decisions about alcohol but don’t

What’s next? We’re doing a science show. About

be suckered in by them. Just know that they are fuck-

four weeks ago we burnt a house down. The science of

ing with you. Don’t do it naively and don’t think they’re

fires in houses is quite interesting, but they’re fucking

your friend because they’re not. If you wouldn’t smoke

frightening. It was in a room in broad daylight- within

cigarettes because you think that’s dumb and you get

a minute and a half if you didn’t have breathing gear

cancer then just know that when you’re drinking alco-

you would have been in real trouble, and certainly by

hol it carries with it the same stuff.

three minutes it was almost pitch black. In an enclosed

What do students need to know before the elec-

space a fire doubles in intensity every 30 seconds. So

tion? Students should be saying ‘How the fuck come

it starts and you’re there with all your kit and you think

we don’t get free education? because if we’re con-

oh yeah that’s cool, but there’s this exponential bit

cerned about our economy isn’t it Economics 101 to

where it really starts to go. Then you see the little licks

educate the people in that economy? I got $12grand

of fire in the air above you and then when your fire

“UNIVERSITY TO ME WAS LIKE HARRY POTTER-LAND- PEOPLE IN BLACK CAPES AND SHIT.”

a year from the government to study at uni, we paid

Another episode we’re looking at gravity- which is

do I get for that?’ We thought we were hard done by

one of those things where everyone knows about

and it was my generation who have come along and

it- but what the fuck is gravity? So we’re going to hope-

said ‘Oh we can’t afford that anymore.' The thing is we

fully chuck a fridge and me out of a plane to see which

could afford that if all the people that were supposed

one lands first.

to pay taxes paid them. Google paid a 1% tax rate in NZ last year. Facebook paid only $14,000 tax. That just doesn’t seem right to me. So if we just addressed the tax situation then we would be able to afford to have education where people weren’t coming out with 50, 60, 70 thousand dollar loans. Students should be enrolled and you should be voting because you’re being fucked over. Best advice you received as a kid? My standard One teacher Mr Melton told my mum and dad that he thought I was smart enough to go to university. University to me was like Harry Potter-land- people in black capes and shit. Mr Melton didn’t have a sense of humour so that really started me thinking about what

engineer fulla is going ‘let’s go’ you’re quite happy to.

$120 a week in fees and we went ‘oh fuckin $120, what

nexusmag.co.nz

S E I ER

S L A C I T I L PO t s a e n o t l i m a h e t a b e d s e t a d i d can TH sep o 1 d we 1 0 . g . l n i E+ 1pm V A LE ILL W ,5 R E NT E L IL W 5 +

PHOTOGRAPH: ANDRE KONG

nexus magazine

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

A-Z of New Zealand Fashion Week JESSICA WILSON

Our intrepid fashion guru went to Fashion Week. We're pretty sure it was just to see the All Blacks in their jocks, but apparently she saw other stuff too. Photographs by Andre Kong. All Blacks

Models wore it on their head in the usual way.

The All Blacks showed off their bulging... muscles in

Instagram

the Jockey underwear show.

The #nzfw tag is almost at 20,000, the vast majority of

Bambi

which are from this year.

Bambi Northwood-Blyth starred in the campaign for

Jacobs

Huffer’s new, more sophisticated sister label, Aim. The

Not Marc, but Lela Jacobs. The K Road designer was

event took place in Huffer’s Queen Street Basement,

undoubtedly one of the stand outs from the week.

where Bambi’s face covered the walls like chickenpox

Brown paint covered the eyes of models draped in

on a small child.

genderless linen in shades of black and white. The col-

COOP

lection was other-worldly, which was suitable as it was

Houndstooth, pop-art and baseball prints were the

named Post-Dystopia.

focal points in Trelise Cooper’s tired attempt at appeal-

Kate Sylvester

ing to the youth.

Why the fuck did you drop me from your Fashion

Devon Toi

Festival show the very morning I was to walk it? You

The current 'it' model. Currently signed with IMG

left me stranded in Auckland without anywhere to go!

Worldwide, Toi is one of the top models at this year’s

My dad had to come pick me up from Hamilton while

Fashion Week, amazing for a first-timer.

I waited at the train station being asked for my photo.

Eden Bristowe

What the fuck Kate, what the fuck!

The other current 'it' model. Bristowe recently signed

Light Blue

with The Society in New York and Elite Worldwide. This

Eggshell blue, baby blue, sky blue, Viagra blue, what-

is also her first Fashion Week.

ever you want to call it, Hailwood, Kate Sylvester and

Fashion Weekend

Trish Peng all embraced the lighter shades of blue.

Fashion Week’s Fashion Weekend is an exciting event

MAC

for us plebs.

The makeup of Fashion Week which I can’t afford.

Garage Sale

NOM*d

Taking place in the Fashion Weekend, the annual NZFW

The collection was called NOISE and everyone was

Garage Sale is an attempt by designers to make a little

given ear plugs, though they probably should have

more money out of last year’s duds.

been given blindfolds as well. LOL JK! Nom*d struck

Hair

an interesting balance between designs that were

nexus magazine

dark and apocalyptic with designs that were strangely

(so original bb!). Models strutted down the runway in

sporty and hopeful. Nom*d opted out of the tradition-

Native American war bonnets, which Trelise ignorantly

ally sexy by concealing their model’s bodies with drop

stated had “70’s bohemian vibes”. Director of What We

waists and floor-length coats, however at times this

Do in the Shadows and generally rad dude, Taika Waititi,

looked more frumpy than fashion-forward. A little prun-

tweeted “The 70s, when cultural insensitivity and rac-

ing would have bought this collection from acceptable

ism was super awesome innocent fun. Nice throw back

to amazing.

@trelisecooper!” Don’t worry though, Trelise issued

Older Models

some half-hearted apology on her Facebook.

Lela Jacobs used a model old enough to be my mother,

Underground

while model veterans Ngahuia Williams and Delphine

In its second year, Underground had six installations by

Avril Planqueel walked for more shows than I have

such edgy designers as Meadowlark, Blue Blank, Jojo

fingers.

Ross, Thprks, Jimmy D (my fav) and Jason Lingard. It

Pardon My French

was cool as fuck and had pentagrams and shit.

The beatnik inspiration paired well with the brand’s

Viaduct

effortless Parisian style. It was hella cute, though the

New Zealand Fashion Week is in its fourth year at the

berets were a bit literal.

gorgeous Viaduct Events Centre.

Queue

White Models

Hipsters are more inspired than ever by the queue,

Most shows averaged about 90% white girl. Very

an ancient hairstyle worn traditionally by the Manchu

few designers used a diverse range of models, these

people and certain Native American groups. The queue

included Lela Jacobs, Lucy McIntosh and the Maori

hairstyle usually involves shaving the front and sides of

designers at The Miromoda fashion show.

the head, leaving the rest of the hair to be tied into a

Xtra Skinny

ponytail or braid. Hipsters are reversing the queue by

(I had problems finding an ‘x’ word OK.) I worked as

shaving the back of their heads rather than the front,

a model from age 15 through to 18 and in this time I

giving a sort of hat-like appearance to their hair. I dig it.

completed countless fashion shows, including Fashion

Resene Designer Selection Shows

Week. Back then I was shocked at how thin our agen-

Finally something for the public. Each NZFW designer

cies and clients wanted us to be, but even more so at

showcased a selection of their favourite looks from

the lengths young girls would go to lose weight. This

their Winter collections in a total of six runway events.

year it seems the issue has gotten even worse.

Stolen Girlfriends Club

Ya Ya Deng

Models looked greasy and angry. Looked the same as

My favourite model of the week, Kenyan-born Deng

last year. Will sell out quickly. Good for them, I guess.

was a finalist on The Face Australia, and for good rea-

Trelise Cooper

son: she’s incredible looking.

I’m used to being unimpressed by Trelise, her penchant

Zambesi

for using upholstery fabrics in her collections is a dead

New Zealand’s own Rick Owens was totally cool, as

giveaway of her lack of a formal fashion education.

always. Zambesi’s XXXV collection proved why the brand has been around for 35 years. The colour palette

but totally angered by her. Dame Trelise chose cow-

of royal blue, khaki, lilac and black (of course) went well

boys and Indians as her inspiration for her collection

with the relaxed, though heavily structured tailoring.

PHOTOGRAPH: ANDRE KONG

This time around I wasn’t just unimpressed by Trelise,

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

GET DIRTY Politics Ryan Wood

PHOTOGRAPH: PHILLIP WONG

Over the break, politics got dirty. Nicky Hager released a book concerned with this issue, the aptly titled ‘Dirty Politics’. Like most New Zealanders, I haven’t read it. But others have, and the general consensus is that it’s pretty bad. For all you ordinary folk out there, the scandal which has sent tremors through the National Party is the revelation that many of their politicians, staff and affiliates have been colluding with right-wing bloggers such as Cameron Slater in an effort to suppress their political enemies. Whether it’s hacking the Labour Party computers to steal valuable information, or attempting to bring down a public

TOUGHING IT OUT Fitness Bro Lauren Barnard

servant Judith Collins doesn’t like, it’s all very shady and underhanded. If you’re looking for some evidence of the seriousness of Hager’s allegations, look no further than the resignation

The butterflies in my stomach are awake

The starting gun sounds like a firing squad.

of Collins, who surrendered her ministerial portfolio last

and fluttering almost before the first chim-

The crowd roars and heaves, almost two

weekend in light of revelations that she and Slater tried

ing notes of the alarm. There are already texts

thousand competitors shoving to dive into the

to interfere with the Serious Fraud Office for their own

on my phone: Mum wishes me good luck with

frosted-over mud. It sucks greedily at my taped-

gain. There is definitely something rotten in the state of

her signature battle cry, “Carpe diem! Seize the

on sneakers, caking my legs to the thigh and

New Zealand.

day!”; Dad delivers an affectionate lecture on

slowing my modest jog to a painful, squelching

Perhaps the biggest loser from this scandal is the Prime

the importance of carbo-loading. I choke down a

shuffle. I emerge, a swamp-thing, carrying half

Minister. Once seen as honest and above such game-

bowl of porridge and the butterflies declare war.

the pit on my pants.

playing, the rot of dirty politics is slowly seeping its way

The time has come. This is where we separate

Rotorua is all hill. Everything is steep upward

back to John Key himself. No longer is he the happy mil-

the tough from the not-enough. And it's 5:30am,

trudging, or treacherous slippery down - and

lionaire joker posing for selfies and talking about how we

so I'm perilously close to telling the day to fuck

riddled with pipes, rivers, barbed wire, and

should have a new flag. He has been thrown off-balance

off and just seizing about five hours' more sleep.

extravagant lashings of mud. The water is frigid,

by these revelations, and he knows that, sooner or later,

Twenty-something familiar faces greet me from

numbing fingers and stealing breath; my legs

they’re going to come up with something on him; prefer-

the bus, dealing the butterfly rebellion a stunning

speed up, on pain of freezing solid. I pray as I

ably before September 20. My suggestion to all you excitable young voters is to pick up a newspaper, or go online, and find out all you can

blow. They look nervous, but exhilarated, happy;

climb camouflage-netted heights, because my

the air fills with excited chatter and vocal yearn-

hands are immobile claws and if they slip, I’m

ings for sweet, sweet caffeine.

powerless to catch myself.

about this unprecedented level of political corruption, and

Our ranks have swelled with newcomers, too.

At the top of a cliff so rugged that abseiling

consider what kind of people you want to be representing

I meet Daniel out in the bitter cold, gratefully sip-

ropes were involved, I catch up with Cushla, a

you in parliament. Are there standards for our leaders to

ping his gas station coffee. “I didn't end up going

fifth-year psychology student. What mental disor-

be held to? If so, what are they? Discuss.

to any of the Thursday morning training sessions,

der does one require to participate in something

On a related note, I definitely do not believe that our own WSU president, Aaron Letcher, is involved in this

but I figured I had to wake up this morning!” he

like this? Neither of us knows exactly, but as we

laughs.

army crawl through a field of shocking electric

Dirty Politics scandal. I do not believe he purchased 200

He's the only one of our members who plans

tendrils (double speed), it’s apparent that about

copies of the book on behalf of the Young Nats, or the

to do the 12km, two-lap event. Here we have the

seven skull screws per person are rattling wild

National Party, in order to prevent them being read and/or

team’s most brilliant economist: same entry fee,

and free.

to burn them. I do not believe that any National-affiliated

but you get to go around twice. They do say the

members of the WSU Board of Directors are involved in

line between genius and insanity is a fine one.

It seems like hours of adventure and exposure and hilarious agony before the way opens up

the Dirty Politics saga. I do not believe that the company

The line is hard to spot from the innards of the

ahead of me, and the world is filled with cheer-

Curia Market Research is tied up in this dirty business. Nor

barn where the race starts. It’s cram-packed with

ing crowds. Their cleanness is alien. I’m tempted

do I believe that this company’s director, and right-wing

people, 12- and 71-year-olds rubbing elbows in

to begin distributing filthy bear hugs.

blogger, David Farrar, is involved.

mutual anticipation, assaulted by the fragrant

When the rest of the team surrounds me, cov-

tonnes of dried grass and horse muck. Their body

ered in sweat and grime and grins wider than

heat fills the cavernous space, warring with the

their faces, I do.

In times like these, it’s best to paraphrase Mark Antony: ‘They are all honourable men (and women).’

wind snapping outside.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

HOW TO PULL OR PULLING: A HOW TO GUIDE. Aunty Slut

Dear Aunty Slut,

I’m all for people who are keen to get out there and

I’m an average at best looking dude but I reckon I’ve

have safe, consensual, casual sex on the weekend. But

got swag when the lights are dim. I like to think I’m

I’m really not down with douchebags like you. Because

charming, but lately I haven’t been able to pull. I’ve

you’re only out there to see what YOU can get. You’re

tried Tinder, but girls keep telling me I’m disgusting and

out there to get off as fast as you can, and it’s really

pathetic. When I’m in town I compliment girls and buy

irrelevant to you who you’re sticking it in, as long

them drinks but can never seal the deal. The only ones

as they’re ‘hot’. Actually- you’re not even that fussy,

that will sleep with me are the fat desperate ones!

because you’ll take home a ‘desperate fat girl’ if you

What are your tips for picking up hot chicks?

have to. I’m completely disinterested in having sex

Can’t-pull Artist

with someone who doesn’t give a fuck whether I’m getting off too, what I look like, or who I am. (Call me

Dear Can’t-pull Artist,

old-fashioned, but I like to know the person I’m rubbing

My number one tip for picking up hot chicks is to stop

genitals with is actually attracted to me.) Most girls feel

being an entitled, childish, judgemental little prat who

the same way. You can buy drinks for women all night,

can’t see past the end of his nose to find his cock, let

but if you’re an entitled, creepy, handsy prick, you’re

alone learn what to do with it. Have you read any of my

going home alone.

columns this year? I barely even know where to start… I think you’ve forgotten the number one rule of

Also- a note on your ‘fat desperate’ comment. I know you’re going to struggle with this, (as you can’t even

“IF YOU WANT TO PULL A HOT CHICK, TREAT HER LIKE SHE’S A PERSON, AND NOT A THING FOR YOU TO STICK YOUR DICK INTO.”

encounters with other human beings- and that is BE

view the female gender as human beings) but- fat

RESPECTFUL. Because, contrary to what you imply

people are people too! They have just as many com-

above, women are actually human beings. You know,

plex feelings and emotions as you- probably more, you

with thoughts, and feelings and rights completely out-

sanctimonious little shit. If a larger woman takes you

side of whether or not you are ‘nice’ to them.

took pity on YOU, in your shitty checked shirt and shiny

I’m guessing you’re being inappropriate. Disrespectful

shoes. Maybe she figured that since you’re so aver-

behaviour is a real turn off. This includes but is not lim-

age looking and desperate, you’d try a bit harder to

ited to: inappropriate comments on their appearance, or

get her off.

backhanded compliments (“you have great tits”, “you’d be prettier if you wore more/less makeup”, “your ass

PHOTOGRAPH: LOUISE HUTT

home, be assured she’s not desperate. Maybe she

If women on Tinder call you pathetic and disgusting,

If you want to pull a hot chick, treat her like she’s a person, and not a thing for you to stick your dick into.

would look better if I bent you over something, dtf?”

Walk up to a woman at Espresso Plus this week, tell

etc) rudeness (“hey gorgeous what’s up? *five min-

her, sincerely, that she looks nice today, and ask if you

utes without a response* Fuck you ugly bitch, you’re

can buy her coffee. You never know what might happen

boring”) or just wankery (telling them all about your

if you start acting like an adult.

amazing car, phone or cock. See my column regarding dick pics and whether or not they’re an appropriate

Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.

form of flirtation, because I don’t like repeating myself

co.nz

to stupid people.)

nexus magazine

LUNCH LAMENTATIONS Cash Hacks Alix Higby

Today I packed my own lunch. As in I got up 2 minutes earlier

than partial to mayo. The only legit qualm I have with salads

than usual and threw some lettuce, carrot and a handful of

is that the only hunger they satisfy is Nicole Ritchie’s. Unless

seeds in a container and I am calling that lunch. Baby steps.

you are prepared to go all the way with chicken, first base

It’s now also spring so this half-heartedness I call “saving

won’t satisfy you for long. Pros: Health conscious and easy

money” can also double as a bikini-season-is-approaching diet.

to switch up depending on your vege situation. Cons: You’ll

If you too are piss-poor organised about your meal prep, and

probably grab some sushi 30 minutes later.

need to curb your hunger spending, here are a few things you

Fruit + Nuts: The perfect snack to stash. I buy in bulk and then

can haul to uni to tide you through the day.

make up my own mixes depending on how the day will go…

Bananas: These babies are great! They’re small enough to

kind of the same way you don’t know whether you’ll see your

chuck in your bag before you head out the door, but filling

stalkee at uni until you look up their timetable online. Figure it out as you go. These are easy to throw in your bag and discreet enough to eat mid-lecture without getting called out

“THIS IS THE SUPER HEALTHY OPTION, UNLESS YOU ARE MORE THAN PARTIAL TO MAYO.”

by an over-stressed and under-sexed lecturer. Pros: The anywhere, anytime snack. Cons: Heavier on the calories despite being oh so good for you and oh so small. Carrots and Hummus + Celery and Peanut Butter: Carrots are ridiculously cheap and are still edible even when they go dry

enough that they will work as a below-average lunch if you

and cracked. Don’t throw them away, man - just smother them

are broke and desperate. Pro-tip: break it off in sections rather

in hummus. And honestly, no one likes celery, no matter what

than deep throating it, for the love of god. Pros: Portability.

the stick women you keep dating tell you. But, they work just

Cons: Bruising.

fine for cheap eating if you alternate them with carrots and

Tuna + Crackers/Pasta/Rice/any carb really: A can of tuna will

use them as an edible utensil for your peanut butter. Pros:

set you back 1-2 dollars! Throw in a bag of starchy goodness

ALL THE PEANUT BUTTER, NONE OF THE DISHES. Cons:

and you have a neat little meal that should see you through till

Cutting shit up and packing it can sometimes be too much of

you can drag yourself off campus. Pros: Cheap and closer to

a hass, let’s be real.

a meal than a banana. Cons: Making the entire level 3 of the

Go forth and eat better and cheaper! Or stimulate the econ-

library smell like fish. No friends for you.

omy by blowing your cash on take out. I am directly affected

Salad: This is the super healthy option, unless you are more

by neither.

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

FASHION HACKS A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson

Fashion hacks... it’s like I’m writing a BuzzFeed

I-leave-my-Chihuahua-in-my-BMW-in-summer look. You

article. By the way, if anyone from BuzzFeed is read-

can even paint your bobby-pins with nail polish. The

ing this, I have a lot of great article ideas, like, an article

more you know.

about cows in baby bibs, or an article about 90s kids, or like, an article within an article --it’s article inception motherfucker! Yeah, I don’t get me either. This week

Look Thinner. Hahahaha don’t.

I ventured onto the great Internet to find out how I,

Shave Your Clothes. Run a razor across your pilly

Jessica Danger Wilson, can become a fashion hacker.

clothes to return them to their former smooth glory.

Match your Necklace to Your Top’s Neckline. Chokers

You can do this on knit clothing as well as cotton cloth-

look best on scooping tops, whereas more ‘v’ shaped

ing. I feel like I’m body-shaming clothing, I mean if pills

necklaces go well with v-neck tops. It looks more aes-

are your things, fine by me.

thetically pleasing and helps prevent uni-boob. Did you know this? Because I sure as hell didn’t. Hairspray. Spray your tights with cheap hairspray to

“PAINT THE SOLES OF YOUR HEELS WITH A COLOURED NAIL POLISH TO GET THAT LUCRATIVE I-LEAVE-MY-CHIHUAHUAIN-MY-BMW-IN-SUMMER LOOK.”

Static Sucks. Get rid of static by putting a ball of aluminium foil in your dryer.

Thicker Heels = More Comfort. Just because a heel is shorter, doesn’t mean it will be more comfortable. Before getting rid of your 5 inch stilettos and investing

help prevent holes and ladders. Cheaper hairsprays

in a pair of hideous kitten heels, try wearing a thicker

work best because they’re sticky. Hairspray can also

heel. A platform also helps offset pressure when

be used to remove lipstick stains. You can even use

you’re walking, plus platforms look fucking badass.

it on your hair. Nail Polish. The Internet digs nail polish. Clear nail

Remove Stains. Lemon juice removes sweat stains, dish washing liquid removes oil stains, white wine

polish can be used on your buttons to help keep

removes red wine stains and shaving cream removes

them from unravelling, whilst painting clear nail pol-

foundation stains. Neckbeard removes girlfriend.

ish on the insides of cheap rings will stop them

Get a Bra-lliant Nights Sleep. I thought I’d add my

from staining your fingers. Paint the soles of your

own tip to keep this original. A-cup bras make fabulous

heels with a coloured nail polish to get that lucrative

eye masks for sleeping. You’re welcome.

nexus magazine

VIRAL PROBLEMS Louise Vs The World Louise Hutt

Have you ever wondered where that meme image actually came from? Who took it? Where it was uploaded first? Probably not. No one bats an eyelid at images going viral. Considering you have a platform where everyone is given the limitless means to copy and distribute works by the person who uploaded it, it’s something which is both cool and scary. However, as a photographer, it’s something which frustrates me to no end. I’ve found images of mine on Facebook pages, Instagram accounts and blogs, all without asking for permission or crediting me. Some of them even had the wherewithal to post it with “Please don’t steal my work!” An email stating, “Hi, did you know it’s illegal to repost my work without my permission? You could also be liable for damages for doing so!” usually scares the shit out of most people. It does make me look like a bit of a cunt but hey, some days that’s just my job. “Louise, BEING on social media means your images are going to be shared around! You can’t stop that!” which is true. 100% correct. Nonetheless, there’s a big difference between clicking share on a photo of mine from

“IF YOU LOVE AN IMAGE SO MUCH YOU HAVE TO SHARE IT, SHOW SOME RESPECT TO THE PERSON WHO MADE IT...”

Facebook (which provides everyone with a link back to my page) and saving the image, cropping out the watermark and re-uploading. I have no problems with people sharing my images (shit yeah, give me some free publicity) but when they’re uncredited and without asking permission, that shows me people don’t give two shits about respecting my work that they’re so happy to claim as their own. However, as someone who also very much loves the internet, I have also done a lot of image sharing. As I’ve grown up though, I’ve realised that becoming better-than-average at your craft takes time and energy, as well as money. My blog might be equal parts my content and that from others, but I’ve made sure that I’m reblogging posts from users who create the content themselves or at the very least, credit the artists who did make it. I know that crediting the artist doesn’t always mean that they will get any benefit from their work being shared, but if I think about the amount of times I’ve clicked on a link because I completely fell in love with someone’s work, it makes me little less cynical.

clicking doesn’t count as hard work).

nexusmag.co.nz

PHOTOGRAPH: LOUISE HUTT

If you love an image so much you have to share it, show some respect to the person who made it by crediting those who did the hard work (note, right

PHOTOGRAPH: SWEET PAINTED LADY

nexus magazine

MAKE YOUR OWN COFFEE SCRUB Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady

There has been an increased interest in coffee

Ingredients

scrubs on a lot of beauty forums lately and being a

1 cup of coffee grinds - you could make friends with

thrifty mama I thought I would share with you how

your local barrister and ask for some daily grinds, I drink

to make your own.

Jed’s Coffee Bags later using the grinds from the bags.

Coffee is my morning pick me up and it’s no sur-

1/2 cup olive oil - great natural moisturizer.

prise that caffeine can be absorbed by your skin,

1/4 cup brown sugar - helps exfoliate dry skin, lumps

increasing blood supply, redistributing fat cells, and

and bumps.

in some cases reducing varicose veins as it acts as a

1/2 tsp cinnamon - smells delicious, you could also add

vascular restrictor!

vanilla or citrus to your mix to create custom scents.

In simple terms it is great for cellulite, calming irritated skin and of course exfoliating dead skin away

Method

without using harmful products filled with small plastic

Add all the dry ingredients together, gradually add the

beads which accumulate in our environment.

olive oil in until you get to the desired consistency.

Here is a quick and easy tutorial on a homemade cof-

Stir well and then place into a lovely jar – store in the

fee scrub that you can make for yourself or use to make

fridge and use within 2 weeks.

a quick gift for a friend.

sweetpaintedladynz.com

nexus magazine

SNAPPED

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates. Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.

nexus magazine

Blind Dat�

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/ SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US, EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

THE LADY'S EXPERIENCE

THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE

The day wasn't one the best days of the year. So

As soon as I had finished getting ready I started

I hoped that at least the evening would make it a

to feel more self-conscious than any man needs to

little bit nicer. I didn't expect anything particular

be. I knew I had to mask any sign of nervousness

from the blind date, just thought that that might be

because as they say confidence is key. I went in

an opportunity to do something that I have never

to the bar early and sculled my first beer and fol-

experienced before, having a dinner with a stranger

lowed that up with a shot of tequila. Soon after I

that I was randomly hooked up with. When I met

was greeted by a cute Russian girl. I usually drink

him it surprised me how simple it was to start the

myself into a coma and with such a generous bar

conversation with him at the beginning and how

tab it was a challenge to take it easy. Not only that

quickly we became people who can talk about any-

but I obviously couldn’t get too messy and make

thing in the world. As we had some money to spend

a fool of myself. We started talking and before we

in the bar, we decided to get some drinks, and the

knew it the bar was about to close. The conversa-

date looked like a cocktail tasting.

tions flowed smoothly but I was extremely hopeless

We were just two different people with their own

at escalating it past the ‘friend’ level. Not even the

interests and hobbies who didn't even notice that

drinks could save me now. If there’s a next time I’ll

three hours were gone and no one else was around

know not to be as much of a pussy. Overall I had

except for the bartenders. That was the end of the

a fun night and she was really cool so it was time

blind date which gave me some good memories of

well spent.

the day and I was happy to meet somebody who I got on well with :)

nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine

THE VOTING SERIES – MINIMUM WAGE MELISA MARTIN FROM YWRC

— Over the next few weeks I’ll be presenting you with an issue that affects young people and deliver the policies that coincide, from five major players in the 2014 General Election. Let me start by saying get out and vote! The only thing you can do to change the way the government is currently being run is have your say during Election Month. Minimum wage is an issue that hits students, graduates, immigrants, low-income families and industries with a high staff turnover rate the hardest. NZ First’s policies take a proactive approach by not the practice of short-term contracts, but also aim to

GET THAT CASH MONEY

introduce a system of subsidising wages for employ-

AMBER CARDALE & LAURENCE MCLEAN

ers taking on young unemployed people for training in

—

only increasing the minimum wage and reviewing

trades and skills. Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei said to Stuff.co.nz that the fifty-cent minimum wage increase this April

Every week our column presents to you some serious shit that the student support advocates are able to help you with. This week’s fast facts are all about getting a job over the summer or semester break. In the immortal words of Dolly Parton “workin’

“...THE PRIME MINISTER’S SALARY INCREASED BY $35,000”

9 – 5, what a way to make a livin’. Barely gettin’ by, it’s all takin’ and no givin’”. Use these tips to help find a job to fund a round for you and 40 of your closest friends (who just met that night) at the Outback, or the other important stuff like food, power and rent. But can you tell which one of these tips would get you fired?

represented a $2.25 increase over six years, while the

•

Make sure your CV, cover letter, and profile are all up to date. The Careers

Prime Minister’s salary increased by $35,000 over the

Office on campus can help you write cover letters and CV’s, give you interview

same time.

tips, and give you pointers to help you get the job you are applying for. Email them at careers@waikato.ac.nz

The National Party’s list of policies reflect no intention to change either the current minimum or living wage, but John Key is quoted as having said “I accept

•

people will always want more.”

Work can be a drag sometimes, like who likes working anyway. That’s why we say yes- go have a funnel and sink as many shots as you can to break your

Labour Party’s ‘Vote Positive’ campaign promises

own personal record the night before work. Just choose the time you go to

to make a two dollar increase by early 2015, with

work the next day cause fucking #yolo.

Greens also promising a similar raise in wages, working towards matching minimum wage with the current

•

Living Wage which is now $18.80 per hour.

Try signing up for some volunteer work experience – it’s rewarding, looks great on a CV, and can give you some unique skills to help you stand out from the

New political player Internet-Mana has jumped on

crowd. Whether it’s down at the local SPCA or community organisation you

the wage increase bandwagon too, aiming to “stabilise

can check out sjs.co.nz for a wide range of options and tips.

hours of work” and increase the minimum wage from •

Have you heard of that new site Google? It's a website where you can type

There’s a trend in there somewhere and I don’t

in something and it will find anything on the internet about that thing. Try

know about you, but I feel like it’s time for some of

typing your name – what do you see? If you find a profile picture of yourself

the dinosaurs who run our country to start listening

falling over, drinking from the bottle and boobs hanging out it may be time for

to our needs so the government reflects the way we

an online spring clean. It’s not uncommon for potential employees to ‘online

want our society to work.

stalk’ you before they hire you.

Contact: 0800 AT YWRC or ywrc@xtra.co.nz

Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz

PHOTOGRAPH: BROOK JAMES

$14.25 to the current living wage.

nexus magazine

CONGRATULATIONS WAIKATO STUDENTS' UNION PRESIDENT AARON LETCHER

— Welcome back to University for the second half of B semester.

instead of promising a #FreshStart.

This is what some would call the “business end of the season” but

A special congratulations needs to go to Shannon Stewart and Roy

for the sake of accuracy I’m going to refer to it as the time when

Mazorodze who have been elected President and Vice-President for

your chickens come home to roost – and if you’ve been slacking off

2015. I’ve worked closely with both Shannon and Roy this year on

for the past 6 weeks you’re going to have hell to pay. I know missing

projects such as extending library hours, increasing WIFI on campus

that 9am lecture seemed like a good idea at the time, but chances

and removing the fee for swipe access to labs after hours, and I have

are you’ll regret it when you see what your exam topics are. Perhaps

every confidence that these two will keep working hard to deliver

it’s time to re-evaluate your decision to study a Bachelor of Laws

better services to students here on campus. I should also give a

conjoint with a BA? Sports and Leisure must be looking quite appeal-

shout out to Taha Tangitu-Huata who has overcome every obstacle

ing about now.

in his quest to become Vice-President Maori and narrowly scraped

The results of the WSU election are behind us, and so are the post-

in by 970 votes.

ers, chalking, and fliers that we all came to despise. Unfortunately this

Over the coming weeks the WSU will be moving into our consulta-

also means no more free cupcakes in the library foyer and I’m not

tion period in anticipation of the setting of our Annual Plan and Budget

sure how I feel about that. To those who were elected, congratula-

to be presented to our AGM on September 24th. I hope you all take

tions. As somebody who has contested a fair few WSU elections

the opportunity to engage with us during this time and let us know

in his day I know how hard it can be. I’m looking forward to seeing

what YOU think the WSU should look like in 2015.

you continue the great work that the Waikato Students’ Union does and am sure you all have a huge contribution to make. To those who missed out, that’s life. You probably should have given away cupcakes

nexusmag.co.nz

Emails to President@wsu.org.nz

nexus magazine

POTATO-TOP PIE Cooking for Students Zac Lyon

Today I’m writing from Amsterdam while I wait for a connecting flight to Iceland! After 48 hours of non-stop travel, I really feel sorry for the people around me. There may or may not be a funky aroma originating from my vicinity! (I’m sticking to my guns and blaming my brother). Anyway, whilst sitting in an airport lounge, my mind is wandering to... surprise surprise.... food! Particularly what I’m already missing apart from a nice shower! Pie, pie, pie, mince and cheese, mince and cheese, (it sounds like the star wars theme, if you didn’t pick upon it!) Ingredients 800g of mince 1 large onion 1 sprig of rosemary Sprig of dill 2 cloves of garlic 1 beef stock cube Assorted veges (carrots, celery, peas, corn) 1 Tbs of cornflour Salt and pepper 500g of potatoes (peeled) Directions 01_ Throw large pot of water onto boil and chuck in the potats, boil

until soft through.

02_ Fry mince in a large pan with olive oil then add in garlic,

rosemary and onion.

03_ Add in stock cube and salt and pepper. Add in cornflour and

some water until mixture is nice and smooth.

04_ Mash your potats, throw in some dildo (slang term for dill-

the herb).

05_ Add mince to pie dish and cover with potats, grate some

cheese over the top, bang it in the oven at 180c for 20 mins.

And Bob’s your Uncle and Fanny’s your Aunt. Enjoy. Head to Cooking4Students on Youtube.

nexus magazine

Codewords

Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.

KenKen

Sequence

The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the

What shape comes next?

upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target number” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5, your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)

Syllabic

1. Composed of standardized units: 2. Hodge podge:

From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.

3. Any large or busy city: 4. Souvenirs:

a - a - al - be - bi - bil - ce - cel - di - er - er - i

5. Intermediate size:

- ju - la - la - lar - lar - li - lib - lis - lu - me - me - mem - mi - mis - mod - ne - nif - ny - o - o ous - ous - ra - ri - tion - trop - u - um

6. Producing light: 7. Favorable to progress or reform: 8. A republic in West Africa: 9. Wrongful taking of personal property: Draw answer here.

10. Expression of exultation: Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,

nexusmag.co.nz

HARD

MEDUIM

column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.

EASY

Sudoku

nexus magazine

Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.

9 letter words becomings 8 letter words becoming besoming combines combings7 letter words combine combing 6 letter words begins beings binges biogen biomes bogies bonces 5 letter words begin being besom bingo biogs biome bison bogie bonce bones bongs combe combs ebons gibes 4 letter words begs bice bine bins bios bise bogs bone bong cobs comb ebon gibe gobs mobs nebs nibs nobs obis snob

Crossword

Solve the clues and fill in the words. Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.

Across

39. Measure of size (9)

73. Hates (7)

23. Merit (7)

58. Herbaceous plant (7)

1. Pitiless (8)

40. Improvement (11)

74. Longing (8)

26. Sentiment (7)

60. Lauded (7)

4. Slope (8)

42. Subdivided (11)

75. Postponed (8)

27. Exemplify (10)

61. Part of a flower (6)

9. Cure-all (7)

45. Heedful (9)

28. Fraudulent scheme (4)

62. Concealed (6)

14. Rabid (9)

48. Fruit (7)

Down

30. Light (9)

65. Unit of weight for

16. Greek letter (5)

49. Large rock (7)

1. Declination (7)

32. Unforseen (10)

precious stones (5)

17. Small openings (9)

50. Throw out (5)

2. Variety of mandarin

34. Goes on (9)

67. Direction (4)

18. Choose (5)

51. Ordinary (7)

orange (9)

35. Nemesis (4)

69. Hoard (5)

19. Obstructions (9)

53. Teeth (8)

3. Svelte (5)

38. Deduct (5)

20. Brother or sister (7)

55. Light beams (6)

5. Root vegetable (6)

41. Milliners (7)

21. Atmosphere (3)

57. Accumulate (7)

6. Breed of dog (9)

43. Keeps back (7)

22. Insinuation (8)

59. Astonishes (8)

7. Empowered (7)

44. Arrow (4)

24. Small fry (7)

63. Hearing organ (3)

8. Surpassed (11)

45. Increased speed (11)

25. Type of hat (6)

64. Obtain (7)

9. Gratify (6)

46. Scintilla (4)

29. Announces (8)

66. Eggplant (9)

10. Illustrious (7)

47. Intricately (11)

31. Lackadaisical (7)

68. Become liable to (5)

11. Welsh canine (5)

49. Waving (9)

33. Desert plants (5)

70. End (9)

12. Tryst (11)

52. Musical instrument (9)

36. Unfathomable (7)

71. Scottish landowner (5)

13. Singing voice (4)

54. Atificial lake (9)

37. Mundane (7)

72. Sapient (9)

15. Large church building(9)

56. Dried grapes (7)

nexus magazine

DAVID BENNETT WORKING FOR HAMILTON EAST 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

$500 million upgrade of Waikato DHB campuses $2.4 billion for the Waikato Expressway Completing Hamilton Internal Ring Route Road with half NZTA subsidy New Junior and Senior High Schools for Rototuna-Flagstaff zone New Primary School at Endeavour Ave Extension of the University of Waikato into the Bay of Plenty Hamilton as a leading city in rollout of Ultra-Fast Fibre broadband services

Contact David: 510 Grey St, Hamilton East | PO Box 4183, Hamilton East, 3216 P: 07 834 3407 | E: david.bennett@national.org.nz www.davidbennett.co.nz

A G . A

Authorised by D Bennett, 510 Grey St, Hamilton East

A G . A WE HAVE BEEN SHORTLISTED FOR LIFESTYLE COVER OF THEÂ YEAR! VOTE FOR US AT WWW.MAGGIES.CO.NZ

nexusmag.co.nz

G . A × M . A × G . M A . G . A . × G . M . A G . × A M . G . A A × × M . M . G . G A × M . A × G . M A . G . A . × G . M . A G . × A M . G . A A × × M . M . G . G A × G . M . A G . × A M . G . A A × × M M . . G G . . A A × A ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING

WEDNESDAY 24TH SEPTEMBER 1PM IN L.G.01 Business to be conducted includes: •

Presentation of the annual report

•

Presentation of the audited accounts

•

Presentation of the annual plan and budget

•

Approval of membership fees and directors honoraria

•

Appointment of the auditor and the solicitor

•

Ratification of the ballot carried out at the recent SGM