Nexus, Issue 20, 2013

E D U T s UE SS i NT E D U ES U SS ISSUE 20, VOLUME 45

09 SEPTEMBER 2013

We solve student problems...

...and bitch about an election.

Plus: How to get out of your flat.

In the Student Issue Issue

elcom sue Fo

contents

Editorial Team Editor Alix Higby editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Deputy Editors Louise Hutt & Jess Edmonds-Saunders louise@nexusmag.co.nz jess@nexusmag.co.nz News Editor zanian steele news@nexusmag.co.nz Online Editor Alix Higby online@nexusmag.co.nz

Graphic Designer Haylie Gray design@nexusmag.co.nz

Managing Editor James Raffan james@nexusmag.co.nz

Advertising Advertising Manager Tony Arkell ads@nexusmag.co.nz

Contributors C-Ball, Kathlene Cook, Daniel Petersen, Matt Hicks, Morgahna Godwin, HP, Danyell Summers, Dr Richard Swainson, Dr Burton C Bogan, Jess Molina, Caitlin Ashworth, Kevin Pyror, Nathan Sweetman, Kelsey Weld, Gil Denny, Amber, Tony Stevens, Nate Ross, Alessia Weir, Tom Petchell, Hoss and Ayman Aneece, Emma Knapp, Joe Citizen, Loren Corbett and Aaron Letcher

Print Fusion Print

Nexus Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus magazine, the WSU, Printers, the editor or any of our advertisers.

Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton online nexusmag.co.nz facebook.com/nexusmagNZ @waikatostudents

issue 20 / VOLUME 45 / 09 SEPTEMBER / 2013 News

[3] University News.

[4] News.

[6] Sports Thoughts.

[7] Student Issues [8] Not News.

Opinion [10] Lettuce to the Editor.

[11] Noticeboard [13] Top Ten

Entertainment and Reviews

[14] Film, Gig & CafĂŠ review.

Horoscopes [15] Book, Comic & Album review.

Horoscopes [16] @Honest_Matt Meets...

[17] Eight Ball.

Cool Not Cool.

[18] Puzzles [20] Feature - Student Issues [21] Feature - Things we Learned from the WSU Online Student Survey [22] Feature - Student Tenancy [23] Feature - Not Another Fucking Election [24] Feature - Black is the new Black

WSU

[26] President’s Column + Veeps [27] Ask Amber + Citizens Advice Bureau + Young Workers Resource Centre

Lifestyle

[28] Food Page [29] Auteur + Google This [30] Religiousity + Adventures of Julia [31] Campus Style [32] Louise vs The World + Little Beer Corner [33] Arts - Timothy Pesch [34] Making Living Cheaper + Guru DJ [35] Mr Minty Fish + Diary of a Single Girl [36] Was This You? [37] Shit You Can Do

1

Editorial

Editorial

Highlight Reel

this week in nexus // Pg: 20

The issues everyone is talking about.

With five weeks to go before the impending doom which is exams, catching up with my friends involves the inescapable topics of either our bank accounts, our health, or our assignment workload. Being poor is certainly one unifying experience all students can attest to, but living above or below the poverty line can be a tricky balance. Too often we take our situation as something we simply have to endure in order to get to a better place, and the stigma of needing our government’s welfare system does nothing to improve our situations. “Good for nothing students who use taxpayer money to sit around all day drinking” is a stereotype all too often quoted to me by aging baby boomers, who have had no experience of paying $5000+ a year for a degree which may only slightly improve your

And how important that doctor’s note is, when your last packet of night & day runs out and you were supposed to have completed that final assignment two days ago. The combination of impending poverty, poor health (from not being able to afford good food), and added stress (from that poor health) is something I see in almost my friends during those final week of semester. Student issues range from a lack of parking to the harsh truth that a lot of us are living in unsavoury conditions; whether they are poor housing, going without necessities or living below the poverty line, all in order to “better our career prospects”.

The question of responsibility is not an easy one. Obviously day to day living comes down to us. Maybe you shouldn’t buy that cup of

“Too often we take our situation as something we simply have to endure in order to get to a better place...” chances of getting a job in “the real world”!

Sigh. But this isn’t going to be a rant, promise.

We are at least fortunate enough to have free healthcare on this campus, although it does come with certain conditions (which are easy enough to fulfil). Comparing which of us has the most leaking orifices is a topic too often talked about with my friends. “I’ve had blocked sinuses for two weeks!” “Blocked sinuses?! I have a chest infection!” “A chest infection? Pfft, I had liver poisoning last week!” and all too soon it starts to sound like a Monty Python sketch. It is (morbidly) reassuring to know that even if we can’t afford 5+ a day, we can go see a doctor to deal with the implications and get a doctor’s note.

2

coffee if you still need to get veges for dinner, or maybe our government should come up with a better student allowance scheme.

Either way, we hope that Nexus can provide you with some ideas on how to live cheaper, assure you you’re not alone, and that if you send us enough lettuce, maybe we can forward them on to John Key (or the GCSB will do it for us, who knows).

From parking to poverty and we have the survey data to show it. // Pg: 22

C.A.B stop in for a chat about tenancy Specificially fixed term contracts. // Pg: 24

Louise Talks Fashion Mainly because Louse likes fashion.

// Pg: 35

Single Girls want friends With benefits.

Some do anyway, and day sex. // Pg: 06

Louise

C-Ball thinks the warriors were shit And no one is arguing.

NEWS

3

NEWS

NEWS Student driven crazy by recycling rules

by Kelsey Wilkie writing for the Waikato Independent

After finishing a night shift at Waikato hospital all Kathryn van der Maas wants is a coffee and to eat her sandwich.

She peels the plastic off and plops it into the bin. Apparently it is not the type of plastic that can be recycled.

It’s 7am and she is going to be driving to her hometown, Rotorua, in a few hours. She hasn’t been home in about three months.

This 20-year-old has a lot on her plate at the moment including studying, working, and moving flats - and the last thing she needs to worry about is her recycling.

Since moving from Claudelands to Hamilton East she has noticed a difference in the standards of neighbourhood recycling collection.

Particularly, she feels collectors are stricter towards the residents in Hamilton East.

Kathryn and four other girls moved from a large old house in Claudelands to a smaller, newer flat in Hamilton East a few weeks ago.

Her flat mates are a mixture of students and professionals. The interior of her new flat is homely, tidy and unstudent-like.

But getting their heads around rubbish and recycling collection is the only downside to their new flat – the council-funded operation has Kathryn and her flat mates baffled.

While living in their flat in Claudelands they had never had any issue with rubbish and recycling.

“When we lived in the city centre our recycling got taken every week, no problems…

Then as soon as we get to Hamilton East they’re really strict on what we can recycle, and you have to completely separate it, 4

organize it or they don’t take it at all.”

The harsher rules in the Hamilton East area create a chaotic downward spiral of constant mess for their flat.

Their recycling has to be perfectly organised or it will not be taken If that happens, wind and cats get to it and rubbish is spread along the street.

“I think it’s because of the area; they’re just stricter on university students.”

Kathryn thinks the rules should be the same for everyone but is too busy to raise her concerns with council.

“To be honest I would have no idea where to give my feed back to anyway.”

She thinks if councillors had a bigger public profile among students, and explained the importance of council operations, students would care more and be able to have their issues heard as well.

“I know a lot of people who couldn’t even tell you the name of the mayor.”

Council candidates should get into community – youth worker

by Libby Wilson writing for the Waikato Independent

Anaru Terry’s challenge for Hamilton City Council candidates can be summed up in two words: community engagement.

The 28-year-old youth worker and social work student has been mentoring youth in the Hamilton West area for years, and he wants council to build stronger connections with communities in the suburbs.

Councillors say they are for the people, but in his time at the Western Community Centre he has only seen a few get involved with its work.

One of them is running for mayor, and he’ll probably get Terry’s vote.

“That’s what I would love to see in a mayor, is somebody who because of their position isn’t afraid to get their hands dirty, isn’t afraid to say ‘I’ll do some hard work for a day just to build this community up’.”

The way Terry sees it, grass roots are the starting point for making the city great.

“I think a mayor or councillors need to be able to involve themselves, be a community head.”

And the best way for elected members to help make their communities healthier is to visit them, and ask them what they they need.

He knows they are busy, but he says a

mayor in the square in the centre of town once a month isn’t enough.

Perhaps the council could fund neighbourhood cultural events to reflect Hamilton’s communities: Somali in Fairfield, or Maori and Pacific Island in Nawton.

Maybe movies or activities at local parks in the evening – give young people and families something to do at a time when a lot of trouble normally happens.

But they need to be local events, so poorer communities who might not be able to travel to Garden Place can enjoy them.

Terry has been involved in his fair share of community events, and seen non-government organisations struggle for funding.

He understands savings need to be made after the “V8 debacle,” but expectations to produce more with less are affecting community development officers.

Their work engaging community members, building trust, relationships, and visions is key to to making a safer community, Terry says.

For example, people won’t rob the neighbours’ house if they caught up over the weekend at the community event down at the park.

They want to take care of what they love, be it their family, community, or their car.

And if councillors are part of the communities which don’t get much attention, Terry says it could have political advantages.

“If you want votes, go to those people, because people are all about relationships.

If they know you and they trust you, they’ll vote for you.”

From a Maori perspective, face-to-face connections are about whanaungatanga.

Once you are welcomed into someone’s home, you are one of them.

And knowing a councillor would give people the confidence to share their views.

Because lots of people don’t know much about the council; its business often isn’t easy to understand.

Even for Terry himself.

He and the Western Community Centre manager made a spoken submission on the council’s most recent ten-year plan.

It was intimidating, and left him feeling a bit stupid.

“They talk above you. Jargon that nobody understands… all of you [councillors] get it, what about the rest of the people who voted you in there?” he says.

“I come from an academic background.

Imagine if I was just a local off the street.

They wouldn’t have a clue what to say.”

So his challenge to candidates is to get out there, knock on a few doors, and say ‘Hey, I’m running for council. Do you know what I do?’

NEWS

In Their Words “Why did the commander of the Fijian Land Forces Colonel Mosese Tikoitoga text Mr Singh saying he was about to be raided by the SIS at the exact time the raid was happening?” Winston Peters claiming GCSB involvement in recent Fiji Roads.

“It would be a regular thing to do.

She asked for an update on what was happening in the party. Nothing more than that.” Labour Party General Secretary Tim Barnett stated after it was revealed that he and Labour Party President Moira Coatsworth visited Helen Clarke at her father’s Waihi home the day before David Shearer resigned.

“As international support for Obama’s decision to attack Syria has collapsed, along with the credibility of government claims, the administration has fallen back on a standard pretext for war crimes when all else fails: the credibility of the threats of the self-designated policeman of the world,” Noam Chomsky “Absolutely there will be change to the welfare reforms. Paula Bennett has put in place a regime that is punitive and does not recognise the reality of many people’s lives. One major area is access to training opportunities, bring back the TIA!” Labour Leadership candidate Grant Robertson

58 Million

The number of times Royal by Lorde has been played across radio stations in America.

80

The number of films starring Sean Connery.

Reports last week suggest the actor has “Forgotten his life” because of Alzheimers.

3

17,000

the estimated annual loss of revenue if Cr Ewan Wilson plan to make it free for under 5s and over 65s to swim in public pools succeeds.

.314

2,532

The breathalyzer reading of an american girl after a college football game.

After which she tweeted “Just got arrested...#YOLO”

The amount of Twitter followers THE .314 BREATHALYZER GIRL @Vodka_Samm now has.

The margin that the American senate panel had to approve action in Syria. The vote was 10-7.

The cost of re-developing Centreplace.

47 Million

6

Waikato based horses will contest this year’s Melbourne Cup.

16

Local council debates happening in Hamilton between now and October.

61%

of Hamilton’s bus routes were labelled “poor” or “underperforming” in a new report.

A Thousand Words Over 2,000 firefighters battled the flames of the Rim Fire near Groveland, California that also entered a section of Yosemite National Park.

5

NEWS

SPORTS THOUGHTS NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS SEASON FORGETTABLE.

Assuming the Warriors miss out on the playoffs, it’s about time I ran the ruler over them. They sit eighth equal on points, but tenth including points differential. And heading into the final round of the season, the team almost needs a miracle in order to scrape into eighth outright. The Cowboys need to suffer a brain aneurism and lose to the Tigers, and the Knights need to go missing on a plane flight over the Bermuda Triangle and miss their game against the Eels. That might be going too far, but how far can one go when talking about the Knights. Easily one of the most boring, inconsistent teams in the NRL, it wouldn’t be much of a loss. You’d hope the Storm crush the Titans.

The season to date has been pretty shit, but consistent by Warriors standards for a number of reasons. We had every moron talking trash about talisman Manu Vatuvei, a mid season winning streak which saw the team looking like Grand Final contenders, and then the final run home where the performances crumbled and the players’ enthusiasm dropped noticeably. It’s the same old Warriors we love and hate, and two losses to the Panthers were seriously embarrassing for fans.

So what went wrong, and what is still going wrong. First and foremost I credit some of the great performances this year to the work of Reuben Wiki carrying the drinks.

He was basically the 14th man in the team, 6

standing behind the line on the field telling who to go where, and what to do next. It was leadership the team needed, despite Wiki being unable to do a hit up himself.

But Wiki’s involvement on the field seemed to vanish, and the team looked wayward.

The recruitment this year was average to say the least. While I have no doubt Neilsen and Lowre aren’t bad buys, Storm players seldom look their best once leaving the Storm behind, and whatever they are being paid is probably too much after this season’s performances.

The recruitment doesn’t look much better next year either. And this is what will improve the team no end, if done smartly.

Jason Bukuya from the Sharks is a nice buy, he’s a handful and will complement Mateo well, provided the later doesn’t go missing in action like he has recently. But the Warriors are still making stupid buys.

Chad Townsend for the halves isn’t a smart option. Either go big on a superstar, considering the talk about English pro Sam Tompkins seems to have dried up, or buy an experienced warhorse like Leuluai to provide Johnson with a cool head. A friend of mine even made a fair point that Scott Prince would have been an excellent, cheap option for next year. He’s old and slow, but his experience and kicking game is first rate. I would also love to see the Warriors investing in a younger dummy half, despite Nathan Friend’s fine service, and trying to bring the odd established Kiwi home for the

pack. Bronson Harrison and Adam Blair have had indifferent seasons, and look likely to miss first choice inclusion in the Kiwis.

The Warriors should be buying our nation’s players suffering from a drop in form, looking to get them back on the horse.

Other than that, the coaching has been fine despite what some people like to think. There’s only so much the man with the clipboard can do, and the player have surely missed putting into action the plans set out for them. For 2014, if the Warriors are to make a season out of it, they need to head into the opening rounds with better fitness, a stronger work ethic, and dare I say it a better leader. I want a captain who will rip the shit out of the players when they’re trailing a weakling team like the Panthers.

Losing to the easybeats isn’t an option, but all too often the Warriors look like they have no direction, and no stern words in the huddle on their try line.

C-Ball.

NEWS

STUDENT

ISSUES

7

NEWS

NOT NEWS Barbie Girl, In A Barbie World A 33-year-old Singaporean man has been showing off his Barbie Collection to the world.

Jian Yang’s collection is believed to be the world record holder and now includes 6,000 barbies and up to 3,000 other dolls.

To answer your question, probably a virgin.

Yang told reporters that the dolls stay in the same room with him at all times and the room only includes his bed. What makes this collection amazing is that none of the dolls are in boxes but rather stare directly at Yang as he sleeps. What made the interview amazing was Yang made it the whole way through without saying “You think these babies are impressive then you should see the three live ones in my basement.

8

Not on our watch WTF: Waikato Times Focus Julian Crawford of the Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis Party wants to make Dunedin the pot capital of New Zealand. All we can say is go fuck yourself Crawford, and by extension Dunedin. Putting aside that they have people who study medicine and other things that benefit society if anyone deserves to be marijuana capital of New Zealand it’s Hamilton. We were the fountain city and had no fountains. We were the V8 City and have no V8’s. Not only could we use something new for tourism but the city’s biggest tourist attraction involves a bunch of people in baskets lighting up brightly coloured balloons.

Headlines from the Waikato Times.

B’day girl drives drunk About as headline worthy as “Some people drove drunk after the All Blacks game on Friday”

Sorting out the SBW rumours SBW signing for a team is news for the frontpage of a sports section. SBW leaving a team is news. “SBW might go somewhere” is neither news nor sports but may be a reason you haven’t heard anyone say “I’m just going to go buy a newspaper” in a few years.

King Country chook lays monster egg Chicken lays big egg is a sign we are having a slow news decade

Arsonist attacks wrong owner’s supermarket

Japanese Woman Kills Husband

We see what you did there. “Rare” because her first name is Ruby, nice wordplay.

Please stop doing that.

A 60 year old Japanese woman has killed her 70 year old husband after he admitted to cheating on her. Apparently the woman was so overcome with rage that she bludgeoned the man to death by hitting him ten times with a coffee cup. First of all, if you are in your 70s, a chill in the air might cause your death, you need to be careful. If you accidently admit to your wife you have been having sex with another woman then the next line out of your mouth needs to be “Once I wrestled a Panda at midnight to decide who would ride a dragon” Then you have to keep saying random shit till she believes you have dementia or are dead.

Secondly, if you are overcome with rage after hearing a 70 year old man is cheating on you, then put down the coffee cup, it might be time to switch to decaf.

Is it just me or is “Thrill-seeker died seeking thrills” less newsworthy than “thrill-seeker died of natural causes at home”

Thrill-seeker died on adventure

Kim Kardashian for Playboy?

Doing Playboy the first time isn’t news, getting headlines for possibly considering it a second time is why the Waikato Times might need to just stop existing.

NEWS

LAST WEEK ON TWITTER...

meme of the week

What pessimist named them Missiles? More like HITiles! Am I right, guys? @LittleLostLad Twerking jokes have been coming in Thicke and fast... @BlackmoreWill “Twerking” and “selfie” added to the Oxford English Dictionary. “Future” and “Optimism” have been removed. @timbradley7 If you go down to the woods today, beware of a big surprise. Dead badgers. @ PeasOneDay Today is 50 years since MLK’s famous speech - the only interesting dream story. @gdorean

cartoon

9

OPINION

LETTUCE TO THE EDITOR. Nexus loves getting your letters. We also love it if they are funny, intelligent and well written. Mainly we will be happy if you keep them under 250 words, it saves us having to cut them down. Please remember to give us a real name when you send them in even if you want to write with an alias. Email us at Lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz or...

penetrated all the way down to the cardboard.

She knocked on the door and asked if everything was ok. I nervously said yea. She wanted to come in so in an effort to hide it I stuffed some of it into the cistern. Open the door and she starts freaking out cause there is wet toilet paper everywhere. Toilet cistern is open. She starts to chimp out. I have no time to explain. She tells me to gtfo.

I run out of the house.

Went home and jerked it off.

Nzdating, never again.

facebook.com/nexusmagNZ

#nexuslettuce.

You Work Over Summer Yeah, leave our sluts alone Dear Angry Anne, If you don’t like SlutDJ, don’t read it and write your own “beneficial” column. Problem solved.

Jeremy Mossop

Best shameless plug for the drama society ever.

Dear My Friend With Benefits I love all our sexy times together so I’m thinking I will send you a pink rose when drama society has Love Week, just to celebrate all our sexy times. I might send you a singing telegram too, I need to check their song list but I’m thinking something fast, since that’s how you like it. Oh and Babe, would you prefer a strawberry or chocolate condom with that (I’m hearing whispers I can send you one)?

Passion Propeller or Arc de Triomph next time?

From Sexy and I know it.

And on Sunday he rested Here is a story about my date on saturday night.

Started chatting with this girl on nzdating. she kinda had an obsecure profile pic that had been through multiple instagram filters so you couldnt really scale her but lets say she 10

looked like a 8/10 on the pic. (face only) chat to her a few times and got her number. she says she did not have a fb so couldnt find more photos. i arranged a dinner and a movie. she was reluctant at first but i knew she wanted the d. arrived at her place and there was a fat chick waiting for me by the drive way and i was like that cant be her. i drove closer and she waved out to me. she was 3/10 at best. fucking photoshop filters. oh well, it will be rude to turn around now. she jumps in the car and it is very awkward...

I make small talk and pull up at burger king drive thru. I tired to order two offer C’s but the lady said those coupons are expired. Instead, I order two summer stunner deals which come with sundaes as well. Dinner and dessert all for $10. while we eat at the carpark we continue making small talk. She doesn’t look full so being the gentleman I am, I offer her my sundae which is promptly accepted. she tells me that which should skip the movie and just go back to her place. Whatever. Any hole is a goal.

At her house we are sitting down on the couch she starts touching me and kissing me.

I have achieved wood but have a massive urge to piss.

Excuse my self to the toilet and this is where it got really bad.

Next to the toilet she had basket full of toilet papers. In my effort to piss I sprayed most of the rolls with my golden stream. Im panicking at the moment. Trying to figure out what to do I try to flush most of it down the toilet. I must have flushed like 5 times. My piss has

Hi Where do our fees go? we pay in lump sums yet no one has actually treated us with the respect of identifying where the money actually goes!!

It seems that every year I pay more for less, less tutorials lower status lecturers and even a more poorly rated management school than when I got here. Unlike some of you I pay by cash made over the summer break so each summer I have to work harder to cover the increase It seems to me that although the uni has us by the balls as we cant leave the least the could do is be honest and upfront about where they put our money #Not your personal bank.

We hear lift plus works too I think some of you nexus readers need to drink some concrete and just harden the fucks up. I have been reading Nexus all year in the halls and I think some of it is decent some of it is funny as and some of it is shit. You know what I didn’t do? Write a letter and complain because I didn’t like what someone wrote.

The guy is a DJ called slut what did you think he was going to do write about fluffy clouds and kittens and shit?

DISCLAIMER Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

Nexus

Noticeboard Drama Society The Drama society has been set up to give opportunities to all students who would like to get involved in theatre. We are holding a BYO Theatre Sports and Dinner event this Thursday the 12th of September (All welcome, just RSVP to uowdramasoc@gmail.com first). Casting is all sorted and we are about to start organising a production team for our Gardens Festival play, Disco Panda Station, written by one of our members Conor Maxwell. We also just put out a call for submissions of possible plays to be put on in March.

If you would like to be involved with the drama society please find the group on facebook ‘University of Waikato Drama Society’ or email uowdramasoc@gmail.com

You’re Hired! - Improve your Interview and CV skills.

Are you graduating soon, looking for a job or an internship?

Maybe going on to Post-Graduate studies and want scholarship funding?

Do you want to be the one that stands out from the crowd?

Golden Key Waikato is organising a question panel event on interview/CV skills. The panel will include internal and external speakers with relevant backgrounds to answer any questions you may have and bust some myths.

“What do employers look for? How do I answer questions about weaknesses? How do scholarship interviews differ from job interviews? Where can I get career advice on campus?...”

The event is open to all students so come along! Wednesday 11th September 2013, 1pm-2pm in S.1.01.

WSU AGM. The AGM is to be held Wednesday 18th September 2013, 1pm in LG.01.

Find out what your WSU has been up to over the last year. Hear about their plans for the future and how they expect to pay for it.

Any student can attend but you must be a member to vote. To join up or check if you are on the roll please visit the WSU office before 4pm Tuesday 10th September 2013.

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oPINION

12

OPINION

TOP TEN

01.

02.

Top Ten must haves for your next student flat.

10_

The cinder block bookshelf.

Cliche? Sure. But still cheap

03.

04.

05.

09_ The Recycling Garden Wall.

Because the power is yours

08_ Tardis Bookshelf. Because, shut

10.

up.

07_ Cool display beer fridge make sure

you get a lock though.

06_ Beer Bottle Chandelier Quake safe

07.

the shit out of your house first

05_ Foosball the classic non-beer pong

pastime of students, also doubles as a dinner table

04_ Sega Rally

It’s been over a decade now but having a sega rally machine in your flat is till kinda awesome

06.

08.

03_ The Xbox One . Whether playing Ryse or watching illegal movies

Xbox One is the console of choice

02_ The collapsable bong. We have no

01_

idea what you would use one for but they make for nice decorations The Street Sign It’s the fundamental classic and also highly ilegal so we are in no way recommending you acquire one, but they look equal parts awesome and tacky

09.

13

entertainment & reviews

Gig

stan walker Rating:

pay & cafÉ

Fusion Pizza.

Let me start by saying i’m not a huge Stan Walker guy. I missed him on Australian Idol and and I’m not a big fan of people getting famous off other people’s songs.

LIDO CINEMA film

Frances Ha Rating: Located in the independent section of the New Zealand International Film Festival programme, Frances Ha is a charming and honest film which will, if you let it, make you fall completely in love.

Set in modern New York, it follows the efforts of Frances to get her life together, a somewhat work in progress. Frances is sweet and frustrating and so incredibly awkward; it’s refreshing to watch a female character that isn’t held together by the need for a man. The secondary characters are given enough life to be interesting and relatable in their own way, an achievement for a film only an hour and a half long.

The black and white cinematography gives the impression of timelessness, as her struggles and issues are something youth of any generation can attest to; finding her place in the world and how to balance work, love and friendship. The fact her struggles are portrayed so honestly are what sets it apart from other films. There’s no facade or superficial intent, Greta Gerwig embodies Frances Ha, in all her quirky, messy ways.

Frances Ha is funny, relatable and sweet; a movie for those who have got their life together, and for those who are still getting there. Definitely a must see, whether you enjoy indie cinema or not.

So when my friend told me that he had an extra ticket to see Stan Walker at Founders theatre last night I wasn’t overly keen.Then he also said I didn’t have to pay for it and suddenly I started to become more of a Stan Walker Fan. Here is my dirty little secret though. I enjoyed this way too much. I think maybe it was just seeing a guy who was up there having fun and enjoying himself. Too often these days I have been to gigs and been disappointed because everything is so scripted and performers just seem in a hurry to get off stage.

Stan Walker does not suffer from the desire to get off stage.

I had heard that Bulletproof song but very little else. But that didn’t seem to stop me from enjoying myself and the best part of it was that Stan Walker just seems like he’s one of your mates at this kind of amazing talent show. Just getting up and singing. According to the guy who gave me the ticket “Stan is a Beast.”

Perhaps the weirdest part of it all was that I left the concert convinced in equal parts that it was one of the best that I have been to in a while and also that I am not now nor will I ever be a fan of Stan Walker’s music, I am now a huge fan of his though, and would recommend seeing him live to anyone who ever gets the chance.

Also the guy who opened for him from X-Factor, Whenua Patuwai wasn’t, bad either.

Rating: With Subway’s ‘five dollar subs’ just up the road, Fusion Pizza’s own five dollar snack pizza has some serious competition. But after sampling the delicious pizza range Fusion has to offer, the decision is simple. For all you poor, cash-strapped students out there, I highly recommend Fusion Pizza!

Fusion Pizza is the kind of place I’ve walked past a thousand times, always thinking to myself ‘Hmm, I wonder what they’re like’. So I was pleased to finally have an answer. As you enter, the decor is very ‘D.I.Y’ and pretty horrible. There are a few signs dotted around the place saying ‘work in progress’ and you’d hope so; It’s almost an apology to the customers for its offensiveness. I look forward to seeing what its owners do with the place, because it could make one heck of a hang-out for students. The prices are good; you’ll pay a little more than you would at Pizza-Hut and a decent bit less than you would at Hells and the pizza is much closer to the latter in quality.

I had the ‘Fusion Chicken’ and it was awesome. There was a slight spiciness to it that was a pleasant surprise and you could actually taste the chicken, that was nicely charred. It hit the spot like you wouldn’t believe.

The speed of service is important and there is no way a pizza place can compete with a Subway or bakery. However, I had my pizza in well under 10 minutes and it gave me a quiet place to sit and read in the meantime. Finally, just needed to mention the service. Not the most important thing in the world, but the guy who served me was super friendly and definitely left a great impression. Give the guy a raise!

Kathlene Cook

HOROSCOPES ARIES

taurus

gemini

(21 mar - 20 apr)

(21 apr - 21 may)

(22 may - 21 june)

Anticipation: In a few short weeks you will find out if your grades are high enough to transfer to that other university.

Disgusted: You’ve been single for awhile now, so why is your toothbrush always wet in the morning when you get up?

Broke: When you have to make the choice between dishwashing liquid, washing powder and toilet paper it may be time to face facts, you are the worst dealer ever.

14

entertainment & reviews

MARK ONE COMIC

Star Trek/Doctor Who: Assimilation2

BOOK

Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book Rating: I always wanted to believe that fairies were real, that there really was a toadstool ring at the bottom of my garden and that my life could be like that Spice Girl’s music video where they all turn into fairies (Viva forever).

I still do wish this, but it has been slightly overtaken by my wish to own a wand and go to Hogwarts.

Anyway, there is this amazing book that tells the story of a little girl who sees some fairies in her garden and down behind the shed. One day she takes a little book out and when a fairy lands on it, she snaps it shut. I would not say this wee girl is the most caring of people, as she then makes it her life pursuit to collect and squish as many fairies as possible. She even collects them in her later years but when a more mature writing style kicks in you do start to wonder if the fairies are what they seem.

These fairies seem to only appear at night or in alone times or when the lady is love making and I do believe the author had some sort of hidden agenda when writing this book. I did not notice this when I was a child though and it was just cool to look at the squished pages.

I have always loved this book and I suggest you buy it for the mere fact it has amazing pictures of half-clad squashed fairies pressed amongst the pages.

Rating: Your local comic-book shop is a magical place. It’s the kind of place where anything can happen, a place where your favourite T.V. shows and movies can live on, free from the restraints of big budgets, time and casting.

Miss Dexter? He lives on in comic-book form!

A fan of the old (good) Star Wars? There is a brilliant series written by Brian Wood, set between ‘A New Hope’ and ‘Empire’, and it kicks ass! Ever wanted to see a crossover between Star Trek: The Next Generation and Doctor Who? I know you have, and here it is.

Star Trek writers Scott and David Tipton and Doctor Who writer Tony Lee team up for this crazy crossover and it works well. Tony Lee nails the voice of the Doctor and Star Trek fans will feel like they never left the world of Next Generation. It’s best not to think too much about where this all fits into S.T/D.W canon (Doctor Who somehow knows what Klingons are) and just enjoy the ride. There are some pacing problems (it wouldn’t be Star Trek without them), but the story is mostly enjoyable and you’ll be surprised by how well the two shows gel.

The art contributes greatly to the overall success of the book. J.K Woodward’s photorealistic style means that the characters look just like they did/do in the show. It helps sell the whole concept and it’ll surely bring a tear to the eye of fans of ‘Generation’. Now head on down to your local comic-book shop today and get reacquainted with an old favourite of yours!

Daniel Petersen

album

The Map Room Self titled Rating: It is hard to believe that the electro-pop mechanics of Brendon Morrow and Simon Gooding aka The Map Room began through acoustic guitars bought in Buenos Aires. The pair, both audio engineers, embarked on a South American jaunt that fuelled a creative spark that has become The Map Room’s debut album. It is an album that conjures images of a serene and delightful journey easily, although, the hints of South America are well hidden amongst what is a distinct but often very New Zealand sound.

The opening track, All you’ll ever find, is driven by decisive drumming and highlighted by sharp electric guitars. It shapes the image of songs to come with its drifting vocals.

The second song on the album, Pilot, is one of the real standouts. It swirls around synth based hooks and harmonising choruses. It’s a song that seems grounded in a New Zealand Summer or spaced out Autumn rather than a South American town, in that it is luxurious without being fancy, it’s slow without being sleepy and it’s joyful without being schmaltzy.

And it is this wonderful balance the pair has orchestrated along with superb production that makes this album such a gem.

The depth and mastery has haunting pitches on songs like Stick Around and solid rhythms pushing through Lay Down Here that further ensures the listener is treated to a real balance. Fans of Joy Division, Interpol and SJD will all love this album. $16 from bandcamp. com

Kathlene Cook

http://www.mk1.co.nz/ www.facebook.com/Mark1Comics

HP

cancer

leo

virgo

(22 june - 23 july)

(24 july - 23 aug)

(24 aug - 23 sep)

Surprised: Work actually paid you for overtime, might be time for that yearly trip to Momento.

Embarrassed: Don’t be. Lot’s of people at University still live with their mum and dad.

Sure not a lot of them are professors but you really wanted to stay at F.A.S.S.

Skilled?: Three years of an engineering degree has turned you into the McGyver of making bongs, but in 8 weeks you need to find an actual job.

15

entertainment & reviews

@Honest_Matt Meets

How long did your new album ‘Primitive Technique’ take to make?

Kinda hard to say exactly - the whole thing was put together over a period of 2 years or so, on and off. Actually there’s one song on the album thats over 4 years old! Its never a sit down and write an album type process for us, more of a constant stream of output that either goes into singles, EP’s or album formats.

Who helped out in the making of the album? Any other producers or musicians?

We had a couple a few people collaborating with us on this album; local producers Trei & Dose on a couple of tunes and on the international front we had Tasha Baxter from South Africa, and MC Armanni Reign doing lyrical duties. Plus we teamed up with the Noisia guys on a couple of tracks.

Do you have any music videos in the works?

Not at this stage - but there are a couple out there already for the album - ‘Diffused’ and ‘Alone’ - so check ‘em out.

You’ve gallivanted all around the world. Is there any country in particular that has a strong Upbeats following?

I really couldn’t name one country in particular, but the level of support internationally has always blown us away. Plus its always amazing going to a city or place you’ve never heard of and having some really loyal fans there with a bunch of your releases.

learning a lot, so would do something similar at the drop of a hat.

You have also been working on some hip hop music with Armanni Reign. Can we expect an ep/album out soon? How did you hook up with the dude?

Yeah that’s another project we have that kinda emerged from touring with him in the States and also collaborating on the Upbeats album.

It’s going to be a full album at this stage but couldn’t give you a release date as of yet i’m afraid. We have had heaps of fun writing it and it’s a nice departure from our usual output, so excited for people to hear the end result.

Any standout tracks on the album you think we really gotta listen out for?

We really love the mellower tunes on the album that I think maybe they get a little neglected by people who just want to hear the big dance floor stormers. ‘Falling into place’, ‘Castles’ and ‘Alone’ are good ones to check out.

We understand you guys have been busy lately co-producing Shapeshifters new album ‘Delta’. The Shapeshifter sound is quite different from yours. How did you find the experience of working on there album?

Yeah that was actually at around the same time as we were finishing up our album - so it was pretty hectic. It was an awesome experience to be able to work on that with the guys and definitely made us think outside of our box musically, as it’s are such a different sound to ours. I think we’ve come out of it

Speaking of hip hop are there any Kiwi MCs you’d like to collaborate with in the future?

There’s some really cool stuff coming out of NZ right now - like the younger MCs and producers doing some more underground sounding music that I think is pretty exciting.

I couldn’t name one person in particular we’d wanna work with, but every week something new and cool tends to pop up and surprise us.

libra

scorpio

sagittarius

(24 sep - 23 oct)

(24 oct - 22 nov)

(23 nov - 21 dec)

Calm: I don’t know what your flatmate’s big deal is, it’s only a toothbrush.

Timesaver: They serve beer at Hells Pizza Hillcrest now. Take your books and it becomes the ultimate study place.

Spending spree: Buy a bunch of things on deferred payment, because when that first missile lands in Syria the apocalypse begins.

16

Full interview available at sounzgood.co.nz

08 entertainment & reviews

COOL VS NOT COOL

eight ball

tHREE THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME RIGHT NOW AND THREE THINGS THAT AREN’T SO MUCH. COOL NZ students gone viral. If you haven’t seen the Blurred Lines parody yet, you’re officially behind.

Welcome to the 8 ball. In the depths of my gooey black ass I will answer the secrets OF THE universe. You may not like MY answerS but lets be honest who else is going to tell you the truth, ugly.

Is it okay to fan girl over my tutor?

Fan that girl. Does that sound wrong?

Why is the labour leadership race not important?

Who said it wasn’t important. All white erry’thang.

The Sun! The green is noticeably busier these days. Beware the increase in attempted religious conversions.

How much weed can you / should you take overseas?

Really? Like, really really? Take as much as you want. In fact take a suitcase full. Have fun in prison :)

Why the fuck is it still cold?

Bro, I dunno. But it better warm up soon or I’m gonna have to call up Maui and get him to pull the sun out of the sky. Wait, that makes no sense. I’m a stranger to my own culture.

Karma. Do good things, have good things done to you - what a winning situation.

One day will I see where my money goes when I pay my fees?

Stop. Look in the mirror. That’s where your fees are going. Impressed?

Nah, me niether.

NOT COOL

Will the US bomb Syria..... and if so will John Key congratulate master?

John Key congratulates master err’y night. [wink face]

Spring ills.

The sun is out, which means colds and flus are total bullshit.

Inescapable social media.

Sometimes dropping your iPhone in a glass of beer has a silver lining.

Karma. Must all life’s guilty pleasures come with an equal and opposite fall out?

capricorn

aquarius

pisces

(22 dec - 20 jan)

(21 jan - 19 feb)

(20 feb - 20 mar)

Privacy: This week Venus is a little like Miley, when she first came into your alignment she was funny and cute now she is just overexposed and causing a gravitational black hole that will destroy the world.

Empathy: You would probably do a lot of Molly if you were married to a Kardashian too.

Challenge: 5 weeks to go. Maybe it’s time you considered being a Nexus deputy editor, columnist or contributor (This horoscope brought to you by editor@nexusmag.co.nz)

17

entertainment & reviews

Puzzle Page Complete the puzzle page, be the first to bring it in and show us, and you’ll win stuff!

Across 1. Male relative (6) 3. Gem (4) 7. Chart (3) 9. Sagacious (7) 10. Challenge (4) 11. Relating to bears (6) 13. Accolade (6) 14. Children (4) 17. Long flag (7) 18. The night before (3) 19. Extinct bird (4) 20. Choice (6)

DIGI-SEARCH Find the hidden numbers - They may be horizontal or vertical.

03730, 04687, 10987, 18833, 20121, 28392, 44543, 50898, 57225, 64537, 65345, 79074, 88973, 93327, 94024, 95486.

Down 1. Wanderer (5) 2. Not difficult (4) 4. Steep cliff (9) 5. Svelte (5) 6. Drama set to music (5) 8. Pilfered (9) 12. In front (5) 13. Lukewarm (5) 15. Rear part of a ship (5) 16. Pace (4)

5 letter words ACUTE BAKER BANJO BOAST DITCH ENSUE GENES GUESS MAGIC ORBIT ROOST TIGER

18

6 letter words ADORED COMBAT RUSHED SOONER STITCH TIMBER 7 letter words AVOIDED CADENCE EXCLUDE MAESTRO ORDERED

RADIANT RETREAT SAMOVAR TREATED VENTURE

LIFESTYLE

Leaving town soon?

Need storage?

SPECIALT STUDEN OFsFfiExeRd term

Call Shirley or Nigel for all the details: 3 month $200 Ph 846 6144 storeit4U@xtra.co.nz 176 Ellis St Frankton SAVE

SELF STORAGE

Safe, secure, affordable 19

Feature

Student life sucks, we know.

What we also know, is that there are ways to get around it.

Parking: If using up the last of your petrol driving endlessly around the university car park is the most frustrating thing you can imagine, then we have some ideas for you.

1.Buy a bike. Yes they’re expensive to buy outright, but unlike a car, they don’t need regular fuel; you get to power them! So they’re cheaper and get you fit; it’s a win-win.

2. Do the old google of bus routes and get yourself a bus-it card. They bring down bus fares to $2.70 and you get dropped off right at Gate 2. They’re also more waterproof than a bike, so you get to watch everyone else get saturated.

Flatting: If you’re still in your original flat, with the original flatmates from the beginning of the year, congratulations; you’re doing better than the rest of us. The best advice I was given 20

about flatting was “don’t let small things become big things, and lock your goddamn doors”. If you don’t like your flatmate’s hair in the shower drain, ask them the second time it happens, not the fiftieth when you’re fuming with rage about how it ruins your daily hot water karaoke session. This might be a bit too late for some of you, but the second piece advice still stands. Two of the flats in my block recently got robbed because they left their windows open. You know contents insurance doesn’t cover? Blatant stupidity, including leaving your house unlocked.

Food: Living off two minute noodles is the pits, it really is. However, there are some options when all you have in the fridge is a dodgy looking carrot and half a loaf of bread. Try websites like Supercook.com or Cookin’ with Google; both will return recipies based on what ingredients you have in the cupboard.

Try getting the bargain-bin produce, it might heading towards it’s best before date but it can’t be that bad if they’re still allowed to sell it. Otherwise, look at growing your own garden. I’ve managed to kill two cacti in two years, but my pot of silverbeet is still going strong.

Budgeting: Possibly the biggest skill that the New Zealand secondary education doesn’t make mandatory is budgeting. However, that new smartphone which you blew this month’s savings might actually help you with this one.

There are a range of apps which can help you budget and help you stick to that budget. A good one is called EEBA, but there’s a range of other ones (you can probably even get them for the iPhone, but if you’re wasting your money on that shit you shouldn’t need to budget).

feature

           24+    

     28% were over the age of 24.

316 people responded.

54% were females.

Nexus was the most recognised service on campus (18%) followed by Events (13%), Student Health (12%) and Student Job Search (12%).

28% of those surveyed were from the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences.

The least heard of service was Contact FM with 53% of respondents unaware it existed and a further 37% of people having heard of it but never used it.

Things we Learned from the WSU Online Student Survey 90% of people thought food was too expensive on campus.

    

82% think you should get a “Free Membership to the WSU upon Enrollment.”

72% of you want a mascot with ideas ranging from “Wolverine” to “Mark Savage,” and even “Mary the Marijuana Leaf”.

33% of respondents would recommend Student job search compared with 5% that would recomend the University careers service.

With 37% Student health remains the most recommended service on campus.



54% of respondents had never used the Uni Rec Centre.

✗36% ✓ 37%

Nexus was also the most polarising service with 37% of people finding us inadequate and 36% Loving us and recommending us to others. A further 23% thought we were doing an “okay” job. Most of the people who found us inadequate came from law and management two faculties renowned for their humour. In an effort to make the magazine more appealing to you allow us to present you with a law school joke: What did the law graduate say to the faculty of education graduate?

Was that $40 you wanted on pump nine?

Unleaded or premium unleaded?

21

Student Tenancy

feature

What should I look for when finding a place to rent?

A clean dry warm flat.

Is there a flat warrant of fitness scheme or a checklist?

No warrant of fitness yet, but you can get a checklist from CAB. What is a “letting fee?”

The rental agency can charge a letting fee often the equivalent of a weeks rent.

Am I better to go through an agency or a private rental?

The University Accommodation Office has a list of flats to rent and “vets” the landlords .Be careful of private rentals unless you know something about the landlord.

What are my rights if only my flatmates name is on the bond agreement?

You are a flatmate and have no legal protection.

What is a fixed term agreement?

A contract for a fixed term, usually a whole year. You cannot get out of a fixed term agreement.

But I only wanted the rental for the academic year, can I get out of it?

No. Be wary of fixed term tenancies! There are plenty of flats around and there is no need to have a fixed term tenancy.

Will I need to talk to a lawyer?

You could make an appointment to see a lawyer but the chances of contesting a fixed term agreement are poor.

Half of the shit was broken when we moved in and now he’s taking it of my bond?

If you had had a checklist filled in and signed by the landlord as you signed your tenancy agreement, he/she

22

would not be able to take some of your bond.

Are flat inspections compulsory?

Yes, the landlord can inspect the flat with 48 hours notice between the hours of 8am and 7pm no more often than 4 weekly.

I have just been fired and my landlord is threatening to take me to court if I don’t keep paying rent what can I do?

If you have a fixed term tenancy it is a contract, seek some legal help!

I got a notice on my door two weeks ago saying my rent is going up next month is that even legal?

No, the landlord must give you 60 days notice.

My landlord suggested “alternative payment arrangements” is that a legitimate thing or was he just being a creep?

No, that is not acceptable. Beware!

What is a bond?

A bond is a payment to protect the landlord from damage to the flat or non payment of rent.The landlord is entitled to charge you up to 4 weeks rent as a bond but MUST deposit that bond with the DBH. You should get a letter from the DBH saying the bond has been deposited.

More flatting information available from the CAB.

feature

Not Another Fucking Election.

It can’t be this time of year again. Only five weeks to go, only 4 more issues of Nexus. This is the time that should be spent locked away from sunlight, studying. You should be looking to extract every bit of knowledge from highlighter filled notes, setting up study sessions in the library; or if you are a FASS student you should be drinking tequila because exams are for pussies.

The university should be a ghost town, filled with just one or two people who still attend tutorials and act like it makes a difference at this point. Most importantly their shouldn’t be anything left to do that is loosely deemed “student life” or “important shit.”

The WSU has an AGM coming up and then they should focus on an actual end of year party for students. The election was boring and largely overlooked and that seems to be the trend with elections in the region. Yet once again we are going to subjected to another student one.

I’m not talking the local body election either where your choices are seemingly limited to the guy who committed fraud, the other guy who committed fraud, or the one currently on bail awaiting charges. There is instead another seemingly pointless election shoved in peoples faces just a few weeks after the WSU election. That election is called the “Election for a Student Member On Council” Now don’t get me wrong this is an election run by the University, seeking a mandate for a student to sit on the Waikato University Council as the elected student rep. It is the most important of elections in many respects and the student who wins will basically

have a volunteer job that they will need to commit 20 hours a week to in order to do it effectively.

All of this comes back to the idea of VSM and the amendments that nearly killed the Students’ Union. See, part of the VSM bill was that Universities decided whether or not the student rep on council would remain, as it had always been, the WSU president or whether they should have an election for the position each year. Our university decided the later and two elections in they have both been won by the WSU President.

Putting aside any argument over whether or not anyone can do the job better than the WSU President the thing that really annoys me is that every student association has gone through this process two times at least now and every single one of them has found two things.

1. Lower voter turnout than any other election (the last one the university did had a shade over 300). Except where voting is mandatory.

2. The Association’s President has won every time.

Why don’t they just get together and have one election. Make it compulsory for everyone to vote, do it just after REO and say “Congratulations you are now the WSU president and the student member on campus. Here is an office, a team behind you, now take the bong out of your mouth and go solve students’ problems.

Doesn’t that seem a better solution. i can’t speak for anyone else but I personally can only be bothered with “vote for me chalk” every place I walk once a year. Twice is just pointless.

23

feature

Black is the new Black.

Why New Zealand fashion trends never really change.

24

feature

I’ve been doing street fashion for six months now, and if there has been one inescapable trend, it is black. Every day, no matter where I go; black shirts, black skirts, black jeans, black jackets. Black in New Zealand is unavoidable.

Black is a part of New Zealand culture, from our rugby teams to our fashion designers. How has one colour become so ingrained in our culture, and will we ever break out from it?

Is it a rebellion from the British motherland? Our national men’s rugby team get their name from their 1905-06 tour where they sported “all black” uniforms. A year later we became a dominion (as opposed to a colony) and there was an undeniable trend for not just black ensembles at costume parties, but also for ‘female all blacks’ and ‘silver ferns’. There have since been countless attempts to make our national flag a silver fern on a black background.

However, it might be presumptuous of us to think fashion has taken such a large cue from a group of sweaty, tinyshort-wearing men.

Is it a response to our isolation on the other side of the world? Most fashion trends take at least 6 months to 2 years to reach us, is our love of black a response to our boredom in the meantime? Vogue New Zealand (19571968) and Fashion Quarterly (1986-) have been our bread and butter for local fashion inspiration, but with the modern prominence of the internet we are grossly aware of how behind we are in the fashion world. Not wanting to be behind in the times, but unable to compete in the online world, are we forced to wear black in protest at our industries’ incompetence in keeping up? With the re-emergence of grunge, it’s more likely we’re using what we have to our advantage. If you spend longer than 20 seconds on sites like lookbook.nu or tumblr you’ll realise that black is very much in.

(with heels and lipstick). Not sure what the fuck “smart casual” means? Black. Can’t be bothered getting dressed for a lecture but don’t want to look entirely homeless?

Black. Black can say anything you want it to at the drop of a hat.

However, for someone who is on the lookout for a variety of the best of Hamilton’s style, black can be frustrating.

The sea of black tights and puffer jackets doesn’t give me much to work with. While they’re practical (you can’t berate someone for wanting to be warm in this climate), they’re not exactly the height of cutting edge style. Black might just be getting too easy, too safe for the average Hamiltonian. It might seem unpatriotic of me to suggest, but a dash of colour really isn’t the worst thing in the world. Have you ever wondered why they make yellow umbrellas? Because in a sea of black, on a rainy and dreary day, a dash of sunshine is exactly what you need.

We could all do with a dash of sunshine in our dreary wardrobes. We’re no longer a colony without access to industrial technology, and you’ll eventually be able to pay off your student loan and buy some nice clothes. When you do, remember that black is multi-purpose, easy, and hides stains; but be brave and try some colour in there too.

Louise Hutt

Or is our love of black simply the ultimate statement on New Zealand style as a whole? Black is effortlessly stylish.

If there’s one thing we are as a culture, no matter our origins, it is problem solvers. Stuck in a colony a thousand miles away from the motherland (and industrial clothes making facilities)? Update your black skirt with a new trim to last another season, or shorten it to fit in with the new fashions. Unable to afford decent work clothes because you’re still trying to pay off your student loan? That little black dress from your nightclubbing days can double as work wear (with a blazer and pantyhose) and a party dress 25

WSU

Veeps

President’s Column

Local Body Elections.

Aaron can count!

As you should all know, the Local Body elections are coming up this month and if you are over 18 years old, you will have the opportunity to vote. Voting for the Local Council elections will be held from the 20th of September to the 12th of October.

For the past five weeks the WSU has been engaging in an in depth consultation period with our membership. We have collected almost 500 surveys both face to face (1/5) and online (4/5), facilitated focus groups, and conducted random interviews with students to see what their thoughts are. Of those surveyed there was a 46:54 female/male split, 18% were postgraduate, and 16% were over the age of 30. There was a good cross section of all faculties.In addition to our surveys the 816 people who took the time to vote in our election were given the opportunity to complete referendum questions. 591 of you chose to do so, providing us with some valuable data to play with.

Even if Hamilton isn’t home, or if you don’t intend on being here for much longer, it is important that your voice is heard on local matters. It is important not only for you, but for future students who will live here in the next three years with no chance to have a say over who leads our local bodies. Hamilton is a student city, and therefore it is vital that students take this opportunity to vote. Don’t just vote for anybody though – make an informed decision! Some of you may have attended the WSU local body debates last week, or if you didn’t get the chance to attend that one, get along to another debate somewhere, Facebook stalk candidates and talk to your family and friends. You can also learn more about the candidates and what they stand for or against at www.vote.co.nz If you’re not yet enrolled, or if you’re not sure whether or not you’re enrolled, visit https:// enrol.elections.org.nz/app/enrol/ where you can do it all online.

26

Sometimes giving students what they want is a little like playing darts in a dark room. We keep throwing the darts, but we don’t know how close we are to the bull’s eye. This is why consultation is important. It allows us to briefly turn the lights on to see how we are doing and make corrections before we keep on playing.

while 42% had never used it. 26% found it inadequate. · 29% of you say Board Honoraria payments are way too low while 16% think they are too low. 43% believe they are about right, 7% say they are too high, and 5% way too high. · The top three mascot choices were the Wolverine, the Taniwha, and the cow. Sadly the walrus didn’t feature on the podium. · 41% of you said the WSU’s overall direction should be “an integral part of the university environment providing services to the student body, and working closely with the university to identify ways to meet student needs”. This was followed by “a safety net for students providing advocacy and advice when students need it” on 24%.

I’m still interested in your feedback with regard to the following questions: Are our Board Members Honoraria payments too high, too low, or about right?

What do/don’t you like about Nexus?

What are your favourite columns?

Some interesting figures from our survey include:

What would make you more likely to pick up a Nexus on a Monday morning?

· 37% of you find Nexus inadequate, while 15% would recommend it to a friend, 23% find it “ok” and 21% “like it”.

What should the overall direction of the WSU be, and why?

· 33% of you would recommend Student Job Search to a friend, while 29% of you have heard of it but never used it. Only 9% found it inadequate.

If you feel passionate enough about any of these topics, please email your thoughts to President@wsu.org.nz. I can’t promise I’ll reply, but I do promise I will read your emails and add it to our compiled data.

· Comparatively only 5% of you would recommend the Universities Career’s service,

Aaron Letcher

WSU

Citizens Advice Bureau But I have an Extended Warranty?

Jocelyn has bought an expensive phone from a local dealer. She signed up for an extended warranty. The phone has had to be repaired three times and now the dealer is saying she must contact the manufacturer.

Young Workers Resource Centre Ask Amber Educating you guys on working rights is going to have to wait.

Short and Sweet This week’s column is a shameless plug for our 20 year anniversary, which we are celebrating by trying to siphon as much money as possible from everyone with a spare five cents.

The YWRC is celebrating our milestone by throwing a quiz night and auction for anyone who thinks we are cool.

Firstly, the TV programme Fair Go and Target along with the Consumer NZ and the Ministry of Consumer Affairs repeatedly warn against buying “Extended Warranties” Because usually they offer no more (and sometimes less) protection than the Consumers Guarantees Act.

And we are cool because face it, who else cares enough to force feed you the knowledge of your working rights and obligations?

So the gig is on a Friday night, and I know what you’re thinking: “I’m going to be busy drinking that night.” Yes you will be busy drinking – at our quiz night. We will be selling booze as well as orange juice for nancies, so it will be a good warm-up before you go out to town and ultimately end up on the back of Nexus.

Secondly, Jocelyn’s phone is the retailer’s problem – NOT the customers.

Plus you will get the warm fuzzies from supporting such a worthy cause.

Although the Fair Trading Act prohibits retailers giving false and misleading information, larger retailers often try to persuade their customers to buy an extended warranty to give protection they already have under the Consumers Guarantee Act. Don’t be fooled by the salesperson’s blurb!

Perhaps you might even have something you’d be willing to donate for our auction? If you did that then you’d be almost as cool as us. We’ll take anything: your snowboard, your couch, your soul.

Wrong!.. Wrong!.. Wrong!...

The Citizens Advice Bureau has a lot of information on consumer issues. They can give you information about this or other inquiries you might have. Visit them at the Village Green by Waikato Print 11am – 1pm, Mon – Fri or phone 0800FORCAB

Over the last year I have had a lot of referrals of students in need of dental work.

Now I am no dentist. You show me your dental x-ray and I will have no idea what I am looking at. However, if you tell me you’re in pain, have no money and cannot study then I want to try and help you.

The WSU doesn’t so much pay for emergency dental work but can point students in the right direction to find financial help. For example, through Dental Grants at outside organisations.

The WSU also have a very good dentist that they work closely with to help students so we can make sure you’re in good hands too.

Your health is important and if there is something the WSU Advocacy Service can do to help you correct a health problem, then we will try our best.

Have an enquiry regarding dental work or something similar? Then flick me a text on 027 2065 011 or email me on advocacy@wsu. org.nz Amber the Advocate

Seriously though, we are the only outfit in the region, hell, probably the country, that fights to ensure young people are kept abreast of their rights and are able to fulfil employer expectations.

If you want to come or donate get in touch via 0800 AT YWRC or ywrc@xtra.co.nz.

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Lifestyle

Nom Nom Nom

Chicken & Leek Pie

Ingredients

Directions

2 large chicken breasts (cubed) 1 Tbs butter 1 large leek (or two medium leeks) sliced 1 cm rings 3 celery stalks finely sliced 3 carrots finely diced handful of fresh thyme 1-2 cloves garlic diced 2 Tbs cornflour 285 ml milk 1 cup of chicken stock Puff pastry Salt and Pepper to season.

1. Throw the chicken into a hot pan. Cook till lightly brown. Preheat oven to 180C. 2. Toss the leek, celery, carrots, thyme, garlic and butter in a hot pan. (More points awarded for throwing ingredients a further distance to the pan.)

3. Cook till nice and soft (5 mins).

4. In goes the chicken stock, followed by cornflour whisked in with small bit of milk. Add rest of milk.

5. Things should start to thicken, add chicken. Season to taste.

6. Once a nice thick gooey consistency, remove from heat.

7. Line greased pie dish with puff pastry. Add filling. Cover top with pastry.

8. Egg wash the top of the pastry (1 egg yolk beaten with a little water, then paint onto the pastry).

9 .Cook in oven for 25-30 mins (or until pastry is golden brown).

WARNING: It will be nuclear hot. Save yourselves the burnt mouths, and patiently let it cool slightly. Or tough it out like a boss dog. Your choice.

If you guys get stuck head across to my facebook page, Cooking for students, or better yet a whole range of how-to videos on my Youtube channel, Cooking4Students.

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LIFESTYLE

Auteur Playing the race card.

It is today considered offensive for actors to play characters of a different ethnicity to their own. Whatever the skills of the performer, their good intentions or sensitivities, such practices are thought inherently racist. The 19th century minstrel tradition casts a long shadow.

The following list catalogues some of cinema’s more memorable instances of crossethnic casting. By 21st century standards all would be thought politically incorrect. Too bad.

1. Richard Barthelmass as “The Yellow Man” in Broken Blossoms (1919). Director DW Griffith is rightly considered the most prejudicial of American directors but this gentle tale of platonic love between a Chinese “coolie” and an abused, virginal teenage shows the more tolerant side of his talent, even if things stop well short of miscegenation. Barthelmass is credible enough to hold up his end of the melodrama.

2. Al Jolson in The Jazz Singer (1927). Jolson virtually plays himself in this milestone talkie but it’s his character’s stage performances in black face, belting out standards like “Mammy”, that history most remembers.

Yes, this is text book minstrel schtick, but, arguably, Jolson’s unashamed emotional directness takes the racist edge off the caricature. There’s no evidence to suggest that the Jewish Jolson was prejudiced in his private life. Quite the opposite, in fact.

3. Louise Rainer in The Good Earth (1937).

Rainer won a second, consecutive Oscar

playing the Chinese heroine in this mammoth adaptation of Pearl S Buck’s novel. Amazingly, even though her German accent can be discerned, Rainer is moving in the part. The same cannot be said for her overrated co-star Paul Muni, who never seems anything more than a ham in yellow face.

4. Marlon Brando in The Teahouse of the August Moon (1956). Bringing his celebrated method technique to the part of Sakini, the interpreter who runs rings around the American occupation force in post-war Japan, Brando manages to be funny without stooping to caricature. The heavy make-up and buck teeth are largely transcended.

5. Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961). The polar opposite of Brando’s work. In both conception and broad playing, Rooney’s Mr. Yunioshi is a racist cliche, a spluttering, accented buffoon more suited to World War II propaganda films. Yet there are still those of us who would admit to finding him hilarious. Call it a guilty pleasure.

6. Laurence Olivier in Othello (1965). On stage in the part the great Olivier triumphed, blackening his face and deepening his voice as never before. When it came to filming the production he arguably failed to scale down his performance for the camera, going uncomfortably over the top. Still, this is a litmus test for cross-ethnic casting. Is it necessarily racist for a white man to play the Moor?

7. Peter Sellers in The Millionairess (1960) & The Party (1968). Neither of these films are Sellers’ best work though they are fondly remembered by a generation of fans. If the brown face and funny Indian mannerisms would today make many cringe, the characters are humanistically conceived and entirely positive.

Richard Swainson

Google This Today on the interwebs.

Blurred Lines Parody by University of Auckland Law Revue https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=tC1XtnLRLPM If you haven’t heard of this you must have been living under a rock. Like any YouTube video, don’t read the comments unless you want to facepalm yourself to death.

3D Printer Fails http://makezine. com/2013/09/03/12-beautiful-3d-printer-fails/ 3D printing was going to be the most amazing thing EVER, but turns out 3D printers also quite like making spaghetti-looking messes.

Candy Wallpaper by KEK Amsterdam http://www.kekamsterdam.com/ wallpaper_candy It’s not quite Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, but we’ll take candy-inspired wallpaper of the normal stuff any day.

Android KitKat http://www.hersheys.com/kitkat.aspx Hersey’s is giving away free stuff (tablets, google play credits and KitKats) to celebrate the launch of Android KitKat Snail Experiment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xexQbiNo Kxg&feature=youtu.be Ever wondered what sort of madcap adventures snails get up to? No, me neither.

But a team from the University of Exeter tagged them with LEDs and UV paint...

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LIFESTYLE

Religiousity All about Agnosticism

“Growing up, religion was present but never prominent in my household. We kept a bible.

We said things like, “You’re in our prayers,” to relatives who had been dealt a rough set of circumstances. I was told, when my goldfish snuffed it, that Timon and Pumbaa had transcended into a kind of fishy Heaven.

These sentiments carried comfort but never credibility in my mind – a mind which, even as a youngster, privileged the concrete and measurable over the intangible. And yet I toyed with a number of spiritual concepts; I subscribed to the notion of karma for a time, and felt the scorching eyes of an omnipotent being when I, like most hormonal boys, discovered pornographic images for the first time. God’s voyeurism reeked of even more disappointment when I came to the realisation my perfect ‘woman’ was actually of the muscular and beardy variety (awkward).

Despite being headstrong about a vast number of things, I struggled to consolidate a position on religion until - perhaps in a classroom or through my exploration of the internet’s crevices - I encountered a word that granted me clarity: Agnosticism.

I am agnostic, although I bear that label as I bear any label – begrudgingly. The moment you put yourself in a box, however broad and innocuous that representational container is, people begin to make assumptions about 30

you. There is one sweeping generalisation you could inoffensively make about agnostics, though: we appreciate healthy scepticism!

In essence, agnosticism is the belief that there is probably some form of higher power but humanity does not possess enough information at present to define it further.

Some call it fence-sitting. Others call it ambivalent. I feel it is a reasonable, openminded response to the overwhelming gaps in knowledge we have regarding our genesis and purpose. The term was originally coined in 1869 by an English biologist called Thomas Henry Huxley, a man endowed with an epic name and epic sideburns. The thinking itself stretches back much farther however, with roots in Hinduism and throughout the works of many early philosophers. On the question of prevalence, it is difficult to be precise as most global studies of religious belief tend to place atheists and agnostics in the same category (the militantly atheist Richard Dawkins argues there is no distinction).

The Pew Research Center estimates the worldwide population of people who have no religious affiliation at about 16% making it the third largest group behind Christianity and Islam respectively.

Sometimes a good-intentioned friend asks, “In the absence of a belief in God, isn’t your life also without hope?” The answer is a resounding no. Humanity gives me hope every day – when people take a stand for social justice, when innovators use their skills and knowledge to improve the welfare of communities, or when nations opt for diplomatic solutions rather than violent ones. “But where do you get your sense of meaning – of purpose – from?” This is also easy to address. From within; from my values system and my aspirations which centre on a socially constructed ideal of what it means to have a ‘full and successful life’. This is enough for me. I respect that for others a more conclusive spirituality is preferable.

My message, therefore, is inclusive: believe whatever suits who you are, love your neighbour and enjoy this incredible journey we call life.”

Logan Reynolds

Adventures of Julia Last year Julia was a columnist for Nexus. She loved it so much she moved to Wellington and would still rather write for us...

Wellington seems to always be tingling with energy, like something is about to happen.

Maybe it’s more to do with the string of earthquakes and unstable ground. Whatever it is, it always seems like some extravagant display of human rights, some animal welfare protest or vegan campaign is happening. This is partly to do with a great diversity of people crammed into one small central area. People have their own things going on and because everyone is so close there is none of the ‘don’t talk to a stranger’ vibes you get in say, Auckland.

Places like Wellington are not like Auckland where the city functions like a beehive; where people fly past each on their individual paths of cold ignorance and oblivion. People are injected with that sense of energy that you find in any city, but as if they are trawling around the markets in Phuket. People sit for hours in bookstores, set up camp in shop fronts, give free tarot card readings and walk so slow anyone behind them is forced to the pace of a migrating elephant.

Homeless people are everywhere, but I especially like the ones in Wellington. Not to imply some kind of segregation, but they, amalgamated into the crowd of commoners, make the air vibrate with this energy. They shout drunken slurs at anyone passing by and their signs provide a brief synopsis of their life to date. There is a handful of them and their faces are all familiar. I think this energy has a lot to do with the geography. There is no driving for hours to get from one side of the city to the other only to feel like you’ve entered into a new country. Everything is close, tight-knit and people are relaxed. That’s what I love about places like Wellington, Hamilton, Tauranga, New Plymouth, Warkworth and anywhere else in the world other than Auckland.

lifestyle

Campus Style 31

lifestyle

Louise vs The World Poor vs. Broke

I’ve been driving my car for 100km with the fuel light on. It’s a tricky equinox, when you need your car to get to work and you need work to fill up your car. Sometimes I wonder why I even have a job, I can’t get a full tank of gas on eight hours of minimum wage, let alone ward off poverty and debt. If there was one unifying experience all students share, it’s being poor, so at least we’re all in it together.

If I had a dollar for every time I’d heard “I’m poor, give me a discount/feel sorry for me/ sleep with me” come out of a student’s mouth, well maybe I wouldn’t be so poor.

However, lately I’ve begun to wonder, are students really that poor?

The answer is yes. I can’t talk for everyone, but I know I really am that poor. However, there is a difference between being poor and being broke. A lot of the stress and burden of being poor comes from a fear of being broke.

When you’re poor, you know if you need your wisdom teeth out by the end of the week, you could maybe pay off 0.01% of that bill one week for the rest of your tertiary education.

When you’re broke, you know you can’t even pay for the parking at the dentists, let alone any of the bill. I’m not broke, but I’m sure as hell terrified of being broke. This fear makes me budget tighter than the arts in Hamilton, and promise my friends my first born child in return for shouting me lunch.

At least when you’re broke you know you’re broke; you don’t have to check your bank balance to make sure the ATM fees didn’t steal your last $5. When you’re broke, finding out work paid you sick leave is like winning lotto. Any money is more than no money and therefore a godsend. Nonetheless, I’m beginning to wonder if a poor childhood gives you more realistic expectations of the student experience. When I’m feeling particularly sorry for myself, I like to think of the winter we spent living in a camping ground because we couldn’t afford to rent a house. When I’m frustrated my flat is freezing, I remind myself I can afford to turn on the heater for a little bit, our flat has insulation, and I don’t have to pay per day to live there. And if I can afford to live here on minimum wage, just think of the luxury I’ll be living in when I get a real job...

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Little Beer Corner Why beer is a necessary component of student life…

Once you’ve made friends, make the most of the time you can spend with them. As once you enter the working world full time, meet the special someone and start a family, your friends will be (mostly) a distant memory. Your friends will be the only ones that can relate to the fact you’ve only eaten two minute noodles for the past couple of weeks to fuel your growing addiction to that brown fizzy stuff we call beer.

University life is as much about going out and enjoying new friends as it is coming out with your degree. You get what you work for, right?

Picture this… You are fresh from a summer of surfing, sunning yourself and slamming (chicks) and you have walked on to the university campus as the former “top dog” of your country high school. Suddenly, you are one of 5,000 students starting their first year of university and you no longer mean anything (except to mum of course, she still loves you).

Frightening, right?

Have no fear, as beer is the social lubricant that can make that fear disappear.

In the beginning there is Orientation Week.

A week of nervy meetings, adjustment and the making of new friends. It’s a week that can scare the bejeezus out of even the most confident of 18 year olds. I’m not saying beer is the cure, however the sharing of a couple of pints is an effective way of getting some good imbibe going on. Don’t over do it though, you don’t want to be ‘that guy’ who rambles after a few too many ales and scares off your new found friends on day one.

There won’t be a chilled bottle of Moet waiting for you at home for each A you receive. However, you can be sure that there will always be a half drunk tray from the prior weekend’s festivities for you to celebrate with. Some things will never change. When you have your first kid, it won’t be champagne you drink, it will be a couple of cold ones with the boys wetting the baby’s head…

Beer is undoubtedly a necessary component of student life, but that’s not to encourage excessive consumption. Moderation is the answer; after all, who wants to be the guy who’s thrown up on himself on the stroll into town and can’t make it into the clubs to party with his mates and all going well “get lucky?”

Andrew Jones

Lifestyle

Arts Timothy Pesch Born and raised in Hamilton, and currently studying Hairdressing at Wintec. I’ve always had an eye for detail.

It’d started off with drawing cartoon characters I used to watch, to eventually playing music, and now creating hairstyles. I love being creative in a lot of aspects. My art has progressed a lot. After failing art in high school I decided I didn’t want to study it, but for reasons, I couldn’t stop making art, it was in my blood, so to speak. I take inspiration from a lot of things, mostly now it’s tattoo art. But my music plays a part as well, as I have drawn Portraits of some of my favourite Rappers and Singers. Anything that catches my eye will spark an idea.

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Lifestyle

Making Living Cheaper

This idea is on the house (I want nothing to do with it). If you are morally bankrupt enough to put all your time, knowledge and energy into making and selling dairy P you’re not the kind of person Honest Matt wants to be associated with. Could be a good money-spinner though.

Matt Hicks Twitter.com/Honest_Matt

Make money selling Legal Highs

that Snapchat or the tissue he used after he screenshotted your reply.

I’m a third year and still have no uni friends. Help.

Become a DJ. I’m constantly surrounded by people who say they’re my friends , yet I don’t know any of their names. Failing that – drink more, stop talking about politics or anything that makes you seem pretentious, or just lose weight.

Is stalking ok because of Facebook?

This week I have failed to think of a money saving tip but never fear because I have thought of a way you can make a bit of extra dosh, possibly even ‘millions’ (said in a Dr. Evil voice).

You may remember a couple of years back 60 minutes interviewed New Zealand’s king of legal highs Matt ‘Starboy’ Bowden. Bowden is the man responsible for bringing party pills and Kronic a.k.a Dairy Dack to NZ. 60 minutes was allowed inside his exclusive $140,000 40th birthday party. This was an extravagant affair. It wasn’t your typical 40th involving 50 drunk tradesmen gayly huddled under a failing tarp. This was extravagant affair involving rock music, dancers, dry ice and possibly a tiger (probably not, but maybe).

This guy is making a killing selling legal highs.

So it got me thinking about gaps in the legal high market. We have Party Pills. Check. Dairy Dack. Check. It then occurred to me! Dairy P! Kiwis love their methamphetamine! Every year some silly bugger causes some kind of national outrage and blames it on the P. Why not make a legal alternative and sell it? Media reports indicate the demand is there.

Imagine the convenience Dairy Meth would be for your average P Fry Pete. No more waiting in a car scratching your face at 4am on a Tuesday morning outside some gang HQ. Old Pete could just pop into his local corner shop and continue the party for another couple of days. Everyone wins. Dairy owners could charge a fraction of the cost the real stuff sells for and make a killing. It would be highly addictive so you know you’re always good for repeat sales. It would be legal which would be good for the police (less arrests on the real stuff), bad for the gangs (sales of the real stuff would go down) and great for the end user (they won’t get so paranoid because “It’s legal bro”).

Anyway like I said earlier this isn’t really a saving tip it’s a way you can make money.

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Guru DJ The best advice Nexus can afford.

Is Snapchat an accurate measure of how much someone is into you?

Snapchat is so incredibly frustrating – I often look down and laugh (at my phone) and when someone asks me what’s funny I’m like, ‘this snapchat is so damn good - I’d love to show you but it’s a fucking snapchat and now it’s gone forever.’ The same frustration extends to the nude pics you get sent. Sure it’s great that this new ADHD-esque social media app has encouraged an entire generation to become far more liberal with their indiscretions but it takes you far longer than 10 seconds to realise what exactly you’re looking at and even longer to get your pants off to celebrate. Snapchat is very much a shotgun way of dating – you load the gun and let it off, hoping to hit as many people as you can with the pellets. If you get butterflies over a three second dick pic then you’re an idiot – you’re just as disposable as

I know her address, what car she drives, who her friends are, what private school she went to. I’ve never met her. That’s normal, right?

Facebook stalking or ‘going on a slut hunt’ is pretty common - it’s pretty much a modern day screening process for dating. However, the name is not really that apt – it allows you a small narcissistically controlled view of someone’s personal life. You see what they want you to see. Knowing more than this or actually descending into stalking does not benefit anyone. I’ve had stalkers and although I can laugh about it now, getting home at 3am after town to find a sober girl sitting on my doorstep ‘making sure I got home ok’ is definitely one of the creepiest things I’ve experienced (which says a lot if you read the last three Slut DJ columns). If you want to get laid or fall in love, do it in person for crying out loud – take a risk, that’s what makes life worth living.

That and nude Snapchats. – as infuriating as they are.

LIFESTYLE

Diary of a Single Girl Sometimes couples are just to avoid sex with a stranger.

Mr Minty Fish MMF wants a minion, possibly for sex.

If you know someone called Teri, don’t offer to put her lanterns together because she’ll just refuse to hang them up and then you’re left cold and alone and wondering what your life is.

Hi guys, welcome to Nexus. Except you Teri.

You’re not welcome. You can’t sit with us.

The best thing about moving house is that there is no best thing and it’s the worst. I just had to throw out half of my life because I’ve moved to a glamorous house and there’s no room for my 2009 leavers jacket in a glamorous house; which is a good segway into saying that sometimes you have to throw out half of your relationship because you’re moving into a glamorous life and there’s no room for your 2011 relationship in a glamorous life. Thank you.

But sometimes there’s equally no room for you to have 11 cats either so here’s how tell if

someone is trying to wife you, or be wifed.

- If a girl likes you she will tend to get along with your mates way better than with you because that’s how stupid our brains are.

- A guy will just say or do anything because NZ guys make nill plays.

That’s kind of all I have to say because bitches are crazy and guys are useless so ultimately, as much Cleo magazine advice as I give you, if you end up stuck with someone then it was probably an accident and you should just see what happens.

I hope that was more interesting to read then it was to write because I’m watching Despicable Me 2 and I’m not usually into animated movies but sweet lord jesus I need a fucking minion*. All is boring by comparison.

Also vote for Dylan Heta in the Social Games because he was from Whangarei and if that doesn’t make someone deserving of a hug and some therapy then I don’t know what does. Awkward if he’s voted out by the time this is printed... if so then RIP Dylans career. #pray for Dylan.

LoV3 yew b0os.x MMF.x *I need a minion and ‘fucking’ is an expression of my enthusiasm for such minion.

I do not need a minion that fucks. Thank you.

Guys tend to make the assumption that if a girl is spending time with them then she must be interested in a relationship with them.

I’ve never been good at serious and with my degree coming to an end and my future up in the air, right now is not a time where I’m feeling the need to settle down and find myself a man. I’ve got plans for my life and I’ve always frowned on the idea that these plans should be influenced by my boyfriend of that minute. So when earlier this week I got a text announcing that we should just be friends because he wasn’t in the right place for a relationship right now without any prior conversation about what I was looking for right now I thought the assumption was pretty typical. Believe it or not some of us girls aren’t spending time with you because we want you for the long haul. In fact sometimes we

“I would rather have sex with the same person because then there is also the possibility of weekday sex as well, maybe even daytime sex!” know without a doubt that this is something we DO NOT want with you. We might not even like your company all that much some of the time. But we quite like male attention and personally I rather like sex! What I don’t like is going out every weekend and finding a new person to have sex with. I would rather have sex with the same person because then there is also the possibility of weekday sex as well, maybe even daytime sex! So no boys we don’t always want to be your girlfriend sometimes we actually want to be your friend with benefits. Maybe you should ask us and hopefully, if the girl isn’t loco, she will answer you honestly.

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WSU

Was This You? The Outback Inn.

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SHIT you Gather up, boys and girls! This week has a lot in store for you, from classical music gigs to learning how to speak Mandarin to full on rage-till-3am gigs, we have it covered!

Monday 9th September Biddy’s Open Mic Night, Biddy Mulligans 6:00 pm – 1:00 am Start your week right with a yarn and some beersies!

Millionaire Monday, CBD 5 pm onwards CBD presents the Million Dollar Trivia Show, where every team gets a lotto ticket! As if that’s not enough, treat yourself with some snacks too. Who knows, you might get lucky!

Quiz Night, The Cook 7:30 If you don’t want to venture into town for the night, then this is for you. Quiz night at The Cook to kick-start your working week!

Tuesday 10th September Paul Ubana Jones & Bryce Wastney – Songbook & 6 String Tour, Diggers Tickets $25, 7:30-9 pm Ubana Jones has shared his music with the world and has even opened for legends like Bob Dylan and Patti Smith. Wastney on the other hand has well established himself in the indie scene and both are sharing the stage together for the first time. With local support from Little Brother and David Shanhun.

Jesus Christ Superstar, The Meteor Tickets $25 with student ID. This play has been called “one of the world’s most famous rock operas” for a reason, and now us Hamiltonians finally have the chance to see it.

Wednesday 11th September JGeeks Eggs Factor Tour – Bigger. Badder.

Browner, Clarence St Theatre 6:30 – 8:30 pm “JGeeks return to New Zealand with their eggs factor Maori madness with swinging hips, music, dancing and a big punnet of ghost chips.” They weren’t kidding when they

said this was going to be interesting.

Learn Conversational Chinese, Waikato Uni 5:10-6:10 pm If you’ve always wanted to learn another language AND practice this foreign tongue, then this is for you. Group meets at Namaste Kitchen (WSU Building) on Wednesdays.

Skint Student Night, House 6 pm onwards Needing an extra fix to get you through the rest of the week? Pay won’t come through until Thursday and all you have left is $10?

Thanks to Skint, that $10 will go a long way.

Wax on Wednesdays, Static 8 pm onwards The party starts here on a Wednesday. I have yet to find a place that is raging (read: dance rage) at this time of the week. Almost like a pre-party to you pre-party on Thursday nights.

Thursday 12th September Musical Feast, Waikato Museum 12-1 pm If you haven’t been utilizing the free gigs that happen in the metro, then this is a good place to start. An hour of musical bliss in the middle of the day. Not a bad way to usher in the weekend!

Monthly Japanese Film – Princess Mononoke, Waikato Uni 7 pm, Room Lecture Theatre L3.

Didn’t quite make it to cheap Tuesday at the movies? Wanting to expand your film horizons? How perfect is this then? Have we mentioned that it’s FREE?

Friday 13th September Girls Just Want To Have Fun Fridays, CBD And that they do. Gather up the girls and head over to CBD for ladies night!

Catching up has never been this fun, and now you can make it a weekly thing. Seriously. A 90’s party.

Thank Fark It’s Friday, House Have you ever had a threesome at House?

No? Well then here it goes: from 4:30-6:30 pm, you can get 3 tap beers for $15. Yup, nothing but the best.

Saturday 14th September Caburlesque, Altitude 7:30 pm A night of glamour and burlesque. P.S. don’t forget your coins for tipping!

Roll Call, The Back Bar Time to get amongst the great local talent Hamilton has to offer!

Electro Static, Static For some, this is the highlight of their week.

Come and see why!

BrewHAHA featuring Guy Williams, Jeremy Elwood, JJ Whitehead, House Tickets $25, 8 pm If you’re a fan of laughing until you cry, then look no further than this gig. A great selection of stand up comedians, the best booze House has to offer, and a few laughs. This is really happening in Hamilton.

Fly My Pretties - Founders Theatre Tickets $55, 7 pm September 2013 will see Fly My Pretties return to their roots, as they embark on 20 intimate shows across New Zealand on the Homeland Tour.

If you’ve got a gig coming up, if you’re feeling blue and want to accompany me to a gig, or if you just want to say hi and talk about MyCy, drop me a line: gigs@nexusmag.co.nz.

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