Issue 21, September 24th 2012
Section
Alcohol in society generates lots of money, lots of fun, and lots of problems. However alcohol is merely the tip of the iceberg, in addition to the drink much of our society dabbles in other substances that fall into the ‘drugs, alcohol and addiction’ category. Substances like marijuana provide less cause for concern considering there haven’t been any recorded deaths from its use, but contrastingly glue-sniffing and ‘huffing’ (butane inhalation) are worrysome occurrences in a society that tends to focus its attention away from these fringe problems. The recent death of a teenage girl in Christchurch as a result of huffing has reopened the issue of selling potentially harmful substances over the counter. The New Zealand Drug Foundation has urged shop owners to take greater responsibility when selling butane to young people. Butane can be purchased by minors as no age restriction applies in the matter, and an Auckland city dairy has already been accused by one resident of encouraging huffing by displaying cheap butane in its front window. Many consider this an immoral act thrusted by monetary gain, and it calls into question what regulations should exist, if any, around selling potentially-harmful everyday substances. If individuals have poor intentions in purchasing an everyday item such as glue or butane gas, does society have an obligation to restrict an individual’s accesibility to the substance in question? Would it be fair for the state to introduce an age restriction on glue and butane like we currently have with spraypaint, or are we getting too carried away with beaurocracy? Society definitely has a responsibility to look out for its people, but how far-reaching is that responsibility? If a shopkeeper sells cheap butane to a 15 year-old, are they ignoring their obligation to look out for others? What if they choose not to be an organ donor, are they then also ignoring that same responsibility? Organ donation may be asking too much for some, but for others it falls under that umbrella of societal responsibility. Ultimately everyone has their own take on how far one should put themselves out there to help others. Tying in with the ‘drugs, alcohol and addiction’ theme for this week, Nexus is also exploring the issue of organ donation. Look out for the ‘Have you told your Mum yet?’ organ donation awareness campaign running on campus this week, and head down to the Village Green in Wednesday’s Cultural Hour to inform yourself about how organ donation can affect you and your family. Drugs, alcohol and addiction will continue to plague New Zealand society, but something we can ill-afford is to allow the fringe problems like huffing to become more common occurrences in everyday society. Binge drinking and P addiction already provide this country with enough to worry about without inviting a host of new issues into our community.
18 Nexus Editor
Sean Goulding looks at modern day organ donation and the rights and responsibilities attached to it
18 Have you told your Mum yet? / 20 Addiction / 22 Name Your Vice! / 24 Legal drugs were awesome but actual drugs are better /
20 Alix and Mr. Minty
Fish look at addiction and ask what you’re addicted to
22 We talk legal highs
vs. illegal highs and fix the drug industry
Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS MAGAZINE, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, OR ANYONE ELSE IN PARTICULAR.
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3 Editorial / 5 How Saph Sees It / 6 News / 10 Left Vs. Right / 11 Sports Thoughts / 12 Lettuce / 14 Puzzles / 15 8 Ball and Horoscopes / 16 Mr. Minty Fish / 17 Auteur House / 26 Reviews / 28 Secret Lives of First Years and Diary of a Hipster / 31 Off The Rack / 32 Half Baked with Mel / 32 Cereal and Verbiage / 35 Advocacy / 36 AGM / 37 Sam’s Garden / 39 Gig Guide /
Editors: Alix Higby and Sean Goulding / Managing Editor: James Raffan (james@nexusmag.co.nz) / Music Editor: HP / Feature Editor: Julia Gabel / Design: Katrina McIntosh (design@nexusmag.co.nz) / Illustration: Hoss Aneece (http://happiestpageever.tumblr.com/) / Advertising: Tony Arkell (ads@nexusmag.co.nz) Contributors: President Sapphire Gillard, Mr. Minty Fish, Dr Richard Swainson, Kylie from YWRC, Gill from CAB, HP, C-Ball, Skippy, Daniel Farrell, Pseudonym, DC, Kevin Pryor, Jess Molina, Sam Taylor, Nick Marryatt, Alice and Anne, Julia Gabel, Something Hip, Mel Matthews, and the glorious indestructable 8 ball.
Living below the line. The international extreme poverty line that is. Today will be the first day of living below the line 2012. We (the WSU Board) will be living off $2.25 each per day this week. We’ve stepped up; we’re taking the challenge; and we’re not the only ones. There are heaps of people doing this challenge and gaining a glimpse (and definitely not a perfect one) into the lives of the 1.4 billion people who have no choice but to live below the line every day. It’s definitely a noble cause, but as I write and sip my coffee I think about the wonderful foods and snacks I’m going to miss. I also think about the fact that all I’m going to do is miss them. They’re going to be back again in less than a week and life will continue as it did the week before: With me living well above the line. A few of my friends have been giving me stick about the fact that this isn’t really a test and asking why we’re even bothering. For me, and I definitely don’t speak for everyone, it’s about remembering and being grateful for
what I have as well as trying to help make a difference for someone else. It’s far too easy to get stuck in the ME world where it’s all about my experiences and my problems and my situation. This week will help me focus on others, on their experience (not having enough food), their problems (having to send your children to work), and their situation (not having access to shelter, education, or even clean water). No this challenge isn’t perfect and no I can’t even imagine a life in extreme poverty, but yes I will give back and yes I will do my part to end it for others. I dare you to do the same. Take some time out and remember how lucky you are. Thank your friends and family for their support. Donate to this worthy cause: www.livebelowtheline.com PS: This week is also the WSU AGM (Wednesday 1pm in LG01) so come see how we’re doing with this challenge and what challenges we have for next year.
Waikato’s disastrous disaster report The Waikato Region would have difficulty recovering from a major civil defence emergency according to a new report by the Ministry of Civil Defence and Emergency Management. Out of a possible 100 points, the report gave the region ten, saying the ability of the region to recover from such an event needs “greater attention”. The target for the report was 80 or above, with between 40 and 80 being satisfactory. The Waikato Region didn’t manage to reach the target for any of the areas assessed, with 71.6 being the highest score received, for the preparedness for the immediate response to disasters. Overall, the report gave the region 50.9. This comes with ShakeOut, effectively a nationwide earthquake drill, being held this Wednesday around the country at 9.26am. The University of Waikato is taking part in the event, using the emergency broadcast systems to alert students. Alerts will also be broadcast on student radio station, Contact FM. Security Manager at the University of Waikato, Ray Hayward, said “Even though it’s unlikely we’d get an earthquake in Hamilton, we want to make sure all students know what to do if one hit, wherever they might be. This is a chance for students to have a bit of fun on campus, but it does carry a serious message of making sure you’re prepared for emergency situations.”
WSU Scholarships closing soon Every year, the Waikato Students’ Union has a number of scholarships given to students. Some of the deadlines for these are coming up very soon. Applications for the WSU Scholarship for Cultural Contribution closes on Friday. The scholarship is awarded to persons who have given an outstanding cultural contribution to the University of Waikato. A cultural contribution is considered to be either contributions of an ethnic nature, artistic contributions or involvement in promoting and enhancing activities that adds to the student experience on campus. This scholarship does not consider your academic performance. More details can be found at http://www.waikato.ac.nz/research/ scholarships/pdf/WSUCulturalContribution.pdf. Another scholarship closing soon is the John Houstoun Memorial Award, which is given based on contribution to student life or contribution to culture or sport on campus. It also considers the academic performance of the student. Details can be found at http://www.waikato.ac.nz/ research/scholarships/pdf/JohnHoustoun.pdf. There is also the WSU First in Family Scholarship, which is available for students who are the first in their immediate family to attend university. Details of this scholarship can be found at http:// www.waikato.ac.nz/research/scholarships/pdf/ WSUFirstinFamilyRegulationsApplication.pdf. There are many more scholarships available each year, details of which can be found at the Scholarships Office website.
David Bennett M P FO R H A MI L T O N E A S T E L E C TO R AT E O FFI C E
510 Grey Street, Hamilton | Phone 07 834 3407 o.nz Email davidbennettmp@parliament.govt.nz | www.davidbennett.co.nz
www.national.org.nz
Quick thesis for big prize October is coming up, and that means it’s almost Postgraduate Month at the University of Waikato. One of the events for Postgraduate Month is Thesis in 3, and event where doctoral students present their thesis in three minutes. Last year, the competition was won by Debrin Foxcroft. Her PhD thesis topic is “Do we sacrifice justice for democracy?” Her research is focused on South Africa, Brazil and Chile. She said of the competition, “I’d encourage all PhD students to enter. Okay, it takes a bit of effort, but I think every doctoral student should be able to talk about their research in a clear and concise way. I found it actually helped me bring clarity to my topic. And the fact the winner gets $5000 to put towards research is also good incentive to give it a go.”
Student radio hits the interwebs After issues with previous online streaming systems, student radio station Contact FM has announced that they now have a reliable online stream. Chairperson of the Independent Broadcasting Community, who run Contact FM, Nick Johnston, said “We’re thrilled to have a reliable streaming service available for Contact FM. It is a great chance for listeners to discover new and interesting music as well as keeping up to date with the latest local gigs and news.” The online streaming can be accessed by going to listen. contactfm.co.nz on a computer, or by searching “Contact FM 88.1” on the TuneIn mobile app.
The competition is open to all PhD, MPhil, EdD, DMA and SJD students. Details can be found at http://www. waikato.ac.nz/sasd/postgraduate/th3sis/index.shtml.
STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND HECKLE THIS GUY Andrew Mckinnon, Chief Financial Officer of the University of Waikato will be in Level Zero of the Student Centre from 12pm on Thursday to answer any questions you may have about fees, the growing cost of education, how money is allocated at University or the best lures to use when fresh water fishing.
By the time this goes to print one or more students will have made the decision to stand for a seat on University Council. Historically the seat has been occupied by the WSU president but this election, the second of the year for this seat, will decide who the person representing you in some of these matter will be.
The truth is Andrew is a nice guy. We met once, or at least our eyes did from across the smoke filled room of some University social mixer and I could tell everything I would ever need to know about him. He seems like he’s pretty solid and he actually likes talking to students.
In 2011, then WSU President, Deni Tokunai voted in favour of a four percent fee increase. This year’s council rep and WSU President Sapphire Gillard will have to decide what she wants to do when it comes up for a vote too. Whether it is the WSU President or another student who takes the student seat on council in 2013 the best thing that the student body can do is let them know how you feel about issues like fee increases. The best way to do that is to come down and ask questions of the people making those decisions, speak a little truth to power and every now and then heckle nice guys who happen to be there to answer your questions.
Unfortunately he is also the sacrificial lamb they are sending to answer your questions just a week or two before the University likely votes to raise fees by an expected four percent. What makes us guess four percent? Well it was four percent last year and the year before that and seems to be entirely unaffected by anything else that is going on. You need to be at this meeting, you need to make your voices heard and get your questions answered because otherwise people can just mention that there was consultation.
Don’t throw food though, there are starving kids in Africa, and many Hamilton suburbs.
U N I V E R S I T Y O F WA I K ATO N E W S , E V E N T S A N D N OT I C E S
B Semester exams
Exchange fair
Th3sis in 3 Heats
The B Semester exam timetable is now online – timetable.waikato.ac.nz/exams. Please check your exam timetable carefully.
Interested in studying abroad? Come along to the Student Exchange Fair to learn more about the opportunities to study at international universities, 11am-2pm Wednesday 3 October, in the foyer of the Student Centre, Level 2. There will also be an information session in S.G.03 from 1-1:30pm that day.
Heats for the Th3sis in 3 will be held during the first two weeks of October. Come along to one or all of the heats and learn more about the groundbreaking research happening at Waikato. The first heat will be held on Monday 1 October from 5pm in S.1.01 – join us at the opening night celebrations which also kick off Postgraduate Month. For heat times and more info visit www. waikato.ac.nz/go/th3sis.
Special arrangements If you have a learning or physical disability, you may apply for Special Examination Arrangements by 28 September – see www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/examinations/ exams1.shtml for more information.
Sitting exams at another time If, because of exceptional circumstances, you can’t sit an exam at the scheduled time or place, you may apply to sit it at another time or location. You shouldn’t make any arrangements until your application is approved – there is a $50 administration fee and if your application is approved, you’ll have to cover all related costs. Your application form must be received at the Assessment and Graduation Office (Student Centre or Gateway Building downstairs reception) by Friday 28 September. Go to www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/examinations/ exams2.shtml for more information.
Get ready to ShakeOut!
Postgraduate Evening
Would you know what to do in an earthquake? The University is taking part in the nationwide ShakeOut earthquake drill this week – 9:26am, Wednesday 26 September. Make sure you “Drop, Cover and Hold” – the correct action to take in an earthquake – when you hear the drill sirens going off around campus. Find out more at shakeout.govt.nz.
Tauranga students Applications may be handed in at the Maharaia building on the Windermere campus. If you’re worried about clashes with your BOP Polytechnic exams, please contact Anne-Marie Kell, email amkell@ waikato.ac.nz, Level 4, Bongard Centre. Questions? Email exams@waikato.ac.nz or phone 07 838 4466 ext 8018.
Lockers available Lockers are available for rent at the WSU at the ground level of the SUB building. The cost is $5 per semester and you have to supply your own padlock.
www.waikato.ac.nz
PGSA Student Networking 5pm Tuesday 2 October - are you doing a higher degree? Want to talk to other doctoral candidates about the journey? The Postgraduate Students’ Association (PGSA) invites all higher degree candidates to Student Networking in the WSU Room in the Student Centre. Recent graduate Dr Hamish Crocket, will speak on the importance of maintaining community links while studying for a PhD, and entertainment will be provided by World Voices. RSVP essential, email cjs123@waikato.ac.nz.
www.facebook.com/WaikatoUniversity
5.30pm, Wednesday 3 October – this evening is for anyone considering postgraduate research degrees. There will be a range of presentations covering research, study and funding opportunities, and you will have the chance to speak directly to faculty staff. Light refreshments will be provided. MSB foyer.
Doctoral Workshop Lifting Off – 10am Monday 8 October. This introductory workshop is aimed at recently enrolled higher degree postgraduate research candidates (within the conditional enrolment stage). You must RSVP to postgrad@waikato.ac.nz by 10am Wednesday 26 September.
Wisdom of Waikato Quiz Are you good at trivia? Want a fun night out? Want bragging rights over your lecturers? Register your team for the Wisdom of Waikato Quiz, starting 9 October at the Gallagher Academy of Performing Arts. There are discounted tickets available for the 25 October Students vs. Teachers quiz – find out more at mrgquiz.com/index.php/ wisdom-of-waikato.
www.twitter.com/waikato
Too Fat To Die Convicted killer Ronald Post was in an Ohio Court last week with one simple message “I’m too fat to die.” Mr Post and his lawyers argued that at 218 kgs the lethal injection may be ineffective the first few times, and would not be a humane way to end his life. This compared with the obviously more humane way he shot a woman to death in 1983. Three things amaze us here, the first of which is that a court is considering this argument. The second is how someone can stay 218 kgs in a prison! Who is in charge of prison catering there, Wendy’s? The third thing that shocked us was Mr Post’s assertion he had tried to lose weight but suffered knee and back problems. He said that he had been using the prisons exercise bike until it had collapsed under his weight. Perhaps losing weight for your own execution isn’t as big a motivator as people think, but it would make for some really interesting weight watchers ads.
Let The Suffering End As debate rages on about the fate of Christchurch Cathedral, something far more damaging is happening to the city’s long term future; they are moving all the brothels. That’s right, some genius city planner has decided to create a red light district outside of Christchurch’s CBD. Like it wasn’t hard enough living and working in Christchurch, now you have to commute to take a “long lunch”. The Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Authority (CERA) sent a letter to the council stating that allowing brothels to operate in the commercial CBD did not align with their vision for the city. The Christchurch City Council should have responded with “shouldn’t you be helping people rebuild their houses so they don’t have to keep sleeping in a YMCA and keep your dated puritanical values to yourself?” Instead they are investigating the proposal. That place hasn’t been the same since it lost its wizard.
Not Quite Short News Normally short news for tall people runs to a standard formula. Take something newsworthy, summarise it and come up with a catchy punchline… We really tried here: News: Austin Manning (4) was born with with periventricular leukomalacia (PVL), a white-matter brain injury in infants that causes small areas of the brain
to die. He is dependent on his wheelchair and a disability van to get around, and needs to be strapped into special chairs to sit up. He suffered foetal distress in the womb and was macrocosmic - “a baby of significant bodily size”. He was treated for “quite severe hypoglycaemia” at birth in Tauranga. But when his condition didn’t improve, he was transferred to Waikato Hospital. Austin has had operations to correct his eyes and requires regular X-rays on his hips, which doctors have said will also require surgery. He needs regular visits from a physiotherapist, an occupational therapist, an eye specialist and a psychologist. ACC Assisted Austin and his family for about a year before reviewing their decision on August 31st of this year. They are now refusing further coverage because Austin’s mum had type one diabetes during pregnancy, and so is outside the scope of their coverage as a pre existing condition. Punchline: Honestly fuck you ACC that’s disgraceful.
Haiku
News Fridge prints catch school burglar Job cleaning windscreens But left prints at old crime scene? Work experience
Teacher sacked over sex claim Lure of foreign strange Too great for married teacher Who’s also host dad
Submariner fakes death to end affair Lover rushed over To give condolences but Was given das boot
Shakira is pregnant Underneath her clothes A baby is growing, childBearing hips don’t lie
the only down side is the painting outside the toilet hanging on the wall. Yea, the guy at the beach, with a tank top and glasses. He has that seedy look in his eyes like he knows what I just did and judging me for it. We make direct eye contact as I leave. Can the library please reposition that painting please? Thank you for listening. Nexus encourages debate and discussion on almost any topic and welcomes your letters. Relevant, intelligent and well-worded letters are preferable, and we also enjoy good humour. Right of reply will generally be accepted provided we have space. Letters should be kept to a maximum of 250 words. You may hide behind a nom-de-plume but you must tell us your real name (which will not be published unless requested). Letter of the week is picked on the basis of our feelings, not the persuasion of its content for which we don’t have opinions on. Disclaimer: letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech. Send your lettuce through to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz
fapfapfapfap Im sure im not alone when it comes to having a masty at uni. It’s a great physical relief and a natural concentration booster. It helps me to focus. I usually fap in the library toilets next to room 2.15 (the disabled toilet).it is a great place to do it cause no one can hear you. There is a seat provided and shower is there if you make a mess.(I used the shower once, forgot to bring shampoo so I had to use handwash soap, also much better water pressure than my flat shower) Load up youporn on my phone off I go. the danger of being caught just adds to the pleasure. DANGER MASTY!!!!
1010
Dear Nexus, I would like to put forward an alternative perspective on the so-called ‘marriage equality’ debate. You see, I disagree with homosexuals being able to marry (or at least Parliament simply passing a piece of legislation which enables this), but I’m not some hater from a by-gone era like Nexus portrayed anti-‘marriage equality’ advocates last week. I’m a relatively nice person who has queer friends and does not mind homosexuality at all. Such stereotypical views are simplistic and don’t actually engage with the views each side holds – so shame on you Nexus. Note that ‘marriage equality’ is in apostrophes. That’s because this debate has very little to do with equality; allowing homosexuals the right to marry will not right some great injustice. The fact of the matter is that homosexuals already do have equality when it comes to their relationships being recognised under law – they are called civil unions. Marriage is not superior to a civil union, just different. Now, I’m not a law student so don’t know if there are any material differences between marriage and civil unions in terms of property ownership rights and the like – if there is, there should not be. There are material differences in regard to adoption laws, and this should change. Marriages and civil unions should be regarded equally under the law, and by society. However, marriage has been historically, and remains, a social institution about a commitment between a man and women, and, at least in the 21st century, it does not do this with the intent to be discriminatory. Whether we like it or not, or whether Parliament decides to change this, it is a fact that marriage has always been about a commitment between a man and women. It is not the role of 121 MPs in Parliament, or anyone, to change what an ancient social institution means. Should the social institution evolve to suit new times and attitudes? No. If you don’t like it, create a new social institution. New Zealand did – its called civil unions. So I hate this entire ‘marriage equality’ debate because, ultimately, people are trying to change something that they have no right to change. At any rate, to my mind there should be nothing wrong with the current arrangements – civil unions should be recognised as equal, but separate from, the institution of
marriage. And at the end of the day, we should celebrate love, and its diversity, in all its forms. Thanks, and apologies if I have caused offence. It is not intended. Brendan Dear guy from my biology class Dear Nexus, I do not deny that I am by and large a misanthropist. I have decided to take a brief respite from my incredibly busy, incredibly important life to compile a list of a couple of my many gripes and send them to you as an act of penance. Facebook –ok so I understand it is a necessary evil, if you’re not on this site more power to you (I held out for 3 years and it still managed to get me). I use FB daily to talk to people I have to talk to, keep up to date with bands for work and finally to keep tabs on my many enemies. After managing to defeat the beast known as Farmville invites; I now have a new demon that I am slowly driving back into the shadows. I refer to the virulent plague of sharing stupid fucking pictures about being swag, or loving god, or ‘share if X, like if Y’. I actually now have made doing so an unfriendable offense for any of my twatting friends - I don’t care if you write the status update to end all status updates and I miss out on seeing it –because if I see one more fucking picture about atheists be awesome or god being jesus or what ever you fucking retards are into; I will prolapse my own gallbladder in protest. About a month ago, I found something beautiful. A Korean musician I’d been following since I was in highschool released a new song – quite unlike his previous material –it had a hilarious music video and only had 5000 views to show for it– seeing such an injustice I promptly shared it with a few of my friends. 1 week later it has several million views –hey that’s awesome good for him. Two weeks later it’s airing on C4 and U and is being played in clubs – once again the common man has taken hold of things I had once loved and sullied them with all the care and respect of a chimpanzee with a frog.
Leaving town soon? Need storage?
I know you worked hard on that test. If by working hard you mean getting absolutely smashed the night before. But the rest of the library doesn’t need to hear about your your lecturer is a ‘fucking dick who doesn’t know anything’ and how it doesn’t matter your swag will get you through. Cool story bro. I am sure that you chanting ‘hustle-hustle’ as you are walking up the corridor will put you in a good place for the 15% test on Friday. but could you do it somewhere where we don’t have to listen to you. please and thanks. sincerely C’s get degrees- swag doesn’t
I have realised that I have reached my word count, fearing the risk of being abridged I will bid you all farewell. Spared the chopping block this week: women, animal rights activists, hare krishnas, western pop music and the any fuckwit that goes to town. To quote the greatest political mind the world has ever seen: “I’ll be back” Yours, Neat Sky
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LEFT vs RIGHT
W
e all know prohibition doesn’t work. That is why the government is scaling back on its knee jerk reaction to synthetic highs such as kronic. Soon they will be allowed to be sold to the public provided that they can be proved to be safe by the manufacturers. I don’t think it will be a surprise to many of the people reading this that a lot of people enjoy getting high, and are happy to take some risks to do so. Prohibition just means that the people taking drugs will do so secretly and with greater risk both to themselves and to society. When getting high is illegal the highs will be supplied by criminal organisations, increasing the rate of other crimes and general suffering in society. Also there is no guarantee of the quality and safety of the drugs that criminal organisations supply and nobody to complain to if the drugs they give are unsafe. On the other hand if drugs are able to be purchased legally the government can enforce safety standards, age restrictions and make sure that the people that chose to get high do not harm themselves. Also isn’t it a bit ridiculous that Kronic is currently illegal while alcohol and nicotine are illegal even though every single piece of evidence suggests that those two drugs are far more harmful. Then there is marijuana which, according to the scanty evidence available, is safer than kronic. Any rational approach to drugs in New Zealand would see these two drugs be sold in a safe, regulated manner. Shouldn’t this also be a basic matter of personal freedom, Kronic smokers don’t directly harm anyone other than themselves. This should really be a case of it’s your own body and your own life, trash it if you want. The government’s role in this should be to try and make sure that drug users are not taken advantage of, that they get the high they want in the safest way possible and that if they want to live a healthier drug free life that they are given all the support that they need. So good job Peter Dunne and the government for taking a step in this direction.
This week we talk legal highs, illegal highs, and whether they should be the same thing.
L
egal highs have been back in the news over the past week or so. Organisations like SAFE have been getting their whinge on because the importers are conducting tests on them to prove they are safe. The catch is the tests are being done on animals. Before I go into the testing, I want to quickly comment about the highs themselves. Right now, we have marijuana, which is illegal. Then we have ‘legal’ highs. These are almost always much stronger than marijuana. Marijuana is illegal because of the effects it has, both short and long term. Surely, this means these legal highs shouldn’t be so legal, as they are much stronger and, therefore, have much stronger effects. Until tests can be done to prove that the effects aren’t much stronger or that they are safe regardless, they surely should be illegal. Which leads me quite well into testing. Right now, the testing taking place involves animals. There is a huge outcry about how this is terrible because it is cruel to the animals. I know this isn’t what the militant greenies in SAFE want to hear, but there is such thing as a necessary evil. What’s worse? Testing something on humans, or testing something on animals? The idea of this testing is to find out what the side effects are, so obviously we don’t know what the effects of the substance is. Now, if we test them on humans, not only is that human harmed, but their family and loved ones are too. If we test them on animals, the animal may be harmed, but that’s where the buck stops. We need to test these things. If we don’t, we don’t progress. How do we know that these legal highs won’t have a hugely positive effect in some way and therefore can be used for medicinal purposes? We don’t, because we haven’t tested them. If we can’t test substances because SAFE gets a little pissy, we can’t progress. In the long run, animal testing will save lives and that seems like a bloody good reason to do it in my books.
Sports Thoughts THROWING DOWN WITH PACQUIAO & MARQUEZ By C-Ball There’s nothing I love more than a Filipino with a thirst for crushing skulls, politics, playing terrible guitar and acting, among other things. When the Philippines tried to introduce asset sales, instead of being a total bitch and crying salty tears all over Facebook like your regular instagram using trend zombie, Manny Pacquiao walked straight into the House of Representatives and laid upon the Prime Minister an upper cut so brutal, a large number of the population fled the country in fear. This resulted in the eleven million Pinoy people that now live throughout the rest of the world, failing miserably at holding a kill/ death ratio above 1.0 on Heroes of Newerth. However, I digress, because it seems that the biggest news to hit the boxing scene since Mayweather hit his girl, is that Pacquiao is set to fight his arch nemesis Juan Manuel Marquez for the fourth time. Yeah. That’s right. Someone has fought Pacquaio three times, and he isn’t dead yet. While that may seem like some type of blessing, the Mexican Marquez is still haunted by what many have deemed to be terrible officiating from the last three fights the two have had. The first bout between Pacquiao and Marquez ended in a draw, with the ‘Pacman’ rolling his opponent in the early rounds, dropping him several times. Marquez managed to hold on, evening the contest in later rounds with clinical counter punching. Two of the judges were split to who the winner was, with the third deeming it a tie. Their second fight was, once again, an absolute dead heat. Split decision went to Pacquiao for a sole knockdown he landed on Marquez, saying afterwards “this business is over”. But it wasn’t, because last
year the two met for the third time, Marquez still seething from the two previous fights he believed he had won. Once again the two were extremely even, with my personal opinion leaning towards Marquez. Pacquiao looked a shadow of his former self, and seemed to lack any of the tenacity that had previously carried him to ten world titles across a record eight divisions. Yet once again, the decision went to the Filipino, leaving some boxing officials believing Marquez had been robbed by either blind or corrupt scorers. The fact these two wish to fight again is nothing short of saliva inducing. Rivalries like this do not come along often in sport, and for two boxers to wish to put the dukes up for the fourth time after pervious painstakingly even contests is something that will light the boxing world on fire. For years we have sat, hoped, and prayed that Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather would finally settle who is the best boxer of our current generation, but that seems like it will never happen. So the attention must turn to the next best alternative. Did Pacquiao really deserve the controversial wins he has recorded against Marquez, or will the Mexican rise to vindicate his name, thus finally laying to rest who the better fighter truly is? I really have no idea what will happen, but one thing seems certain – both fighters are aware that this time, they must take the decision out of the referee’s hands. That means we are in store for a seriously brutal fight. I’m talking Charlotte Dawson twitter abuse brutal. SOMEONE IS GOING TO END UP IN HOSPITAL.
Thank the lord for this absolute gift of a fight that will soon grace our screens, because without Mayweather floating about throwing money up left, right and centre, the boxing world is looking a little stagnant. Shit, in New Zealand we’ve got the esteemed honour of choosing between Shane Cameron, and Shane Cameron. At one stage that would’ve been Shane Cameron and Sonny Bill Williams, but let’s face it, that is far too embarrassing and we knew all along our very own national idol was never going give us a real boxing match. I heard somewhere Williams plans to fight South African beast Francois Botha, who has in the past fought such notables as Lennox Lewis, Wladimir Klitschko and Mike Tyson, who apparently tried to break his left arm. Sounds daunting right? Did I forget to mention Botha is now 43 years old, and lost to Evander Holyfield in 2010 who was around the age of 47 at the time. Okay Sonny we take you seriously. Squid.
Entertainment I am your magnificent eight ball and even I am feeling stressed this week. Exams are getting closer, and it seems less and less likely that I will have enslaved you foolish children before the end of the academic year. It’s like, I try so hard every year and no one even really notices anymore. Not a single one of you joined my cult and shaved their head in support of me, and no one wrote me in as a candidate in the elections. But I still have a few weeks to create havoc so let’s get these questions out of the way. 8 ball is global warming real? It Is decidedly so. Everybody know that global warming is real. Any time you use a petrol car or leave your fridge open, energy is released into the environment that is both penetrating the ozone layer, and at the same time giving more power to Olor the earth’s temperature dragon. With each day Olor grows stronger and more vicious, heating and cooling the earth’s surface as it pleases him, and making it an insufferable hellscape for the rest of us to navigate. Scientist and wizards alike have searched for a way to appease Olor, but the only certain way is to sacrifice a virgin who lives in the halls of residence (as they did in 1992). This year it has proven impossible to find one. Eight Ball have you ever done drugs? No. But then again I am not the one sending questions to an imaginary eight ball. Did Maui really fish up the North Island? It is unclear, concentrate and try again. While no one is really sure of the answer, the story goes that not only did Maui fish up the Island, but he was on course to win the whole fishing tournament before Zeus snagged the Greek Isles and used it as bait to pull up half the Atlantic. His name has an asterix next to it in the record books as the practice of lightning fishing has since been banned for being anti competitive. Is there a simple way to pass my exams without studying? Yes.
Send questions through to 8ball@nexusmag.co.nz
Aries: “Man I love all the study before exams“ said no one you are friends with anymore. Taurus: Perhaps the “One Direction” is the downward spiral they are sending pop culture and society into, eventually resulting in lawlessness, chaos and small militant societies in a postapocalyptic world. Still could be worse, you could be listening to Nickelback. Gemini: Allegedly John Banks has conversations with Kim dot com about making donations in $25,000 amounts so they are untraceable, misleads the public and still gets the full confidence of the prime minister. You miss three apostrophes in APA referencing and get marked down five points. Being honest sucks. Cancer: This week you will realise your life is eerily similar to The Ridges. Then you will start day drinking and you will contemplate smashing your own face into a mirror. Leo: Last year Charlie Sheen was wasted all the time, followed by everyone on twitter, and had two live-in porn stars. Kim Kardashian doesn’t drink. Vodka anyone? Virgo: Royal breasts may be disappointing, but they are still breasts, so happy googling. Libra: If someone yells “earthquake” this week it’s just a drill. If someone yells “run, neapolitan ice-cream men riding dragons,” then they stole my mushrooms and I want them back. Scorpio: Tragedy will strike your entire family in a way that none of you will ever recover from OR someone will buy you an ice-cream; the stars really aren’t clear on this. Sagittarius: Who cares that he is “more into you than you are into him,” no normal person even has that conversation until like month six. Capricorn: Maybe vegetarianism just isn’t for you. Aquarius: This week you will ponder cheating on your long term partner. Unless of course they are reading this to you. If that’s the case there is no way you would ever cheat on them. What do the stars know anyway? The stars are dicks. Pisces: The stars command you to put both hands on your head… do it now… The stars didn’t say Simon says… some of you are out.
Face of the week - make me into Amy Winehouse
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Opinion
Stop hating skinny bitches. Being a ‘real woman’ doesn’t mean eating every meal at McDonalds. Where were you 3 hours ago? Bed Who are you in love with? You. Mainly. Occasionally your best mate but mainly you. Have you ever eaten a crayon? If the alphabet is in a continuous loop, is A before or after B? Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Vaginas. Everywhere. When is the last time you went to the mall? Many moons ago. Are you wearing socks right now? Only if not wearing socks counts as wearing them. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? I watched an Extreme Couponers marathon last night. Are you hot? Sweltering. What was the last thing you had to drink? Banana Milk What are you wearing right now? Woah. Hey now. Last food that you ate? Falafel; because I’m cultured. Where were you last week at this time? In a cafe with my National Manager, teaching her how to use Instagram. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Why yayus. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Two Asian kids were kicking each other in our driveway earlier. What is your favorite animal? Horsies, tigies and wolfies Your dream vacation? Tomorrowland then Hogwarts. Last person’s house you were in? Let’s not get MMF arrested today. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Got hit by a car once. That was an off day. Have you been in love? I had an ‘other half’ on Bebo for a few weeks. Do you miss anyone right now? Possibly. Can’t see anyone but they could be hiding. Last play you saw? That Face. No jokes, just brilliancy. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Spoiler alert. It’s a $2 kids golf set in the corner of my room. What are your plans for tonight? Earn enough to bribe friends to accompany me to the movie film cinema. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment? Don’t be fucking ridiculous. Next trip you are going to take? Over a mat. #ParentHumour Ever go to camp? I have literally been to band camp. Tracey Gray has been too. She’ll deny it, but it happened. Were you an honour roll student in school? I was a pretentious little shit.
What do you want to know about the future? I would like to know who wins the US Presidential Election and by what margin so that I can pretend I’m a Psychic. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? Hypnose: Femme by Lancome because it gets the boys excited. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor’s visit? Not if this Chlamydia just goes away by itself. Where is your best friend? No idea, I thought you might know? How is your best friend? This isn’t even a real question. Do you have a tan? FOREVER TAN. What are you listening to right now? My sniffles. Do you collect anything? Empty wrappers, scraps of paper and rubbish. I store them in my bag. Who is the biggest gossiper you know? The female race. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over? I accidently slapped a cop whilst spinning around once. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? Wow. Racism is real. What does your last text message say? “Can you NOT be naked right now?” Do you like hot sauce? I’m not sexist. Last time you took a shower? Not one lowly hour ago. Do you need to do laundry? Forever. What is your heritage? Edmonds baking powder. I could not make this stuff up. Are you someone’s best friend? What an unfortunate person. Are you rich? In incense. I own a lot of incense. What were you doing at 12AM last night? EXTREME COUPONERS. I hope you enjoyed delving into the inner most depths of my psyche. I don’t mind terribly if you didn’t. Love you exponentially so. MMF.x P.S. AHHHHHHHH SAVENIA. P.P.S. Babagithi baba. P.P.P.S. Hizzy hooooom. WENYA BAH BAH.
Fred Astaire was nearly 70 when he starred in Finian’s Rainbow. He had not featured in a musical for over a decade. Many critics thought that he was past it. If the leading man was not himself badly dated the material was: on Broadway in 1947 Finian’s Rainbow had been ahead of its time but 20 years later, post the civil rights movement, a fantasy which combined a .lot of Irish blarney about gold and leprechauns with racial satire, set in the American south, seemed passe. When Auteur House recently acquired the film on DVD I watched it for the first time this century. Better than I remember - with a couple of classic songs I’d forgotten - it’s still an unwieldy beast. Like most adaptations of stage musicals it’s far too long and there’s an uneasy mixture of location shooting and studio production numbers. The casting problems have more to do with British imports: Petula Clark and Tommy Steele are what you might euphemistically call “homely” looking, the former patently too old for the ingenue role, the latter overacting like crazy as a “little person” literally getting too big for his boots (think Mickey Rooney on steroids). Astaire, as ever, is great. The effortless fluidity of his moment, his straightforward acting style and charmingly direct singing voice are all in tact. While no one would argue that Finian’s Rainbow ranks with his best work as a last lead role it wasn’t a bad way to go out (he would only once more dance on screen, at 77 outdoing Gene Kelly, cohosting the compilation film That’s Entertainment, Part II).
Auteur House also stocks the Astaire films on which his legend rests. Here are ten recommendations: 1. The Gay Divorcee (1934) The second and funniest of the ten movies made with Ginger Rogers, strong enough to stand on its own as a screwball comedy even if Fred wasn’t singing and dancing to Cole Porter’s “Night and Day”. 2. Top Hat (1935) Most people’s favourite Astaire & Rogers film and it’s not hard to understand why. A genuinely amusing mistaken identity plot is powered by a multitude of show-stopping numbers and unprecedented Irving Berlin score. 3. Follow the Fleet (1936) Plot wise this one is a little ho-hum and there’s the problem of a wooden Randolph Scott as the second male lead. However, the set-pieces are as stunning as ever, especially the climactic “Let’s Face the Music and Dance”. 4. Swing Time (1936) The only Astaire & Rogers film in which the couple’s relationship has any emotional weight - they even come close to sharing a screen kiss it is also the best directed. 5. The Broadway Melody of 1940 (1940) The only co-starring vehicle with Eleanor Powell, the closest thing to Astaire’s female equivalent. Their “Begin the Beguine” number is astonishing. 6. Holiday Inn (1942) The initial teaming of Astaire and America’s favourite crooner is best
remembered as the movie in which Bing Crosby introduces “White Christmas”. Yet Fred shines in the dance numbers, too, especially one in which his character is supposedly drunk and letting off fire crackers! 7. Easter Parade (1948) After flirting with retirement Astaire returned to the screen to replace an injured Gene Kelly, enjoying a sparkling one-off pairing with Judy Garland. “We’re a Couple of Swells” is but one of the classic performances. 8. The Band Wagon (1953) Astaire’s masterpiece, a selfconsciously made, self-referential examination of his persona by genre’s greatest director, Vincent Minnelli. Cyd Charisse makes for a leggy, surprisingly complementary partner. Highlights include the “Girl Hunt Ballet” (a parody of film noir) and the beautifully understated “Dancing in the Dark” but equally memorable is the opening “By Myself”, a reflection on loneliness, the saddest song Fred ever recorded. 9. Funny Face (1957) There is 30 years between Astaire and Audrey Hepburn but it doesn’t matter. A witty satire on 1950s fashion, publishing, and intellectual fads as well as an unexpectedly touching MayDecember romance. 10. On the Beach (1959) Maybe Astaire’s best straight acting role. He plays a racing car driver waiting for the end of the world in an adaptation of Nevil Shute’s postapocalyptic novel. His character has an appropriate and suitably poignant death.
By Sean Goulding So if all last week’s posters, stickers, and chalking didn’t have you asking yourself what was so important to tell your Mum, university work must really be keeping you busy. But for the rest of you hopefully the answer revealed itself in Cultural Hour last Wednesday after talking to the ensemble of treat-bearing Mums around campus. However if you are still in the dark about what Mum really needs to know, Nexus proves once again to be a student’s best friend. The “Have you told your Mum yet?” campaign is being run on campus by a group of Waikato University students, known collectively as Branch Communications, to create awareness around the issue of organ donation. By encouraging people at Waikato University to discuss with their family their wishes in regards to organ donation, Branch Communications hopes that the conversation will become more openly accepted in New Zealand society. Currently organ donation is very much a fringe issue in New Zealand society. Many individuals are unaware of how they can be an organ donor, and additionally many donors do not fully understand the complexities that surround the final decision-making process. It is for these reasons that the “Have you told your Mum yet?” campaign aims to draw more attention to the issue. In New Zealand an individual can register to be a donor when they apply for or renew their driver license. This information is documented on their license with the word ‘donor’ as well as recorded in the Land Transport New Zealand database. However, despite an individual’s wishes regarding organ donation being present on their driver license, at the time of one’s death their family will be asked if they were aware of the individual’s wishes in regards to donating organs and tissues. If the family has no knowledge of their relative’s wishes, the donor information is obtained by a designated health professional and given to the family to assist in making the final decision.
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The current decision-making process means it is vital that your family are aware of your wishes because even as a registered donor your relatives have the option not to proceed in accordance with your personal decision. By making your wishes known to your family they are more
likely to abide by your final request; hence the importance of telling your Mum or other close relations. Overmore it is equally important that you’re aware of your loved ones’ wishes as you may be the one making the decision for a relative, and prior knowledge of their donor information can significantly assist the decision-making process. Broaching the issue of organ donation in the public forum is no simple proceeding. Many individuals find the topic somewhat morbid to discuss and a difficult subject to approach with loved ones. These tendencies made Branch Communications’ prospect of creating and executing an effective public-awareness campaign a very complicated and sensitive task. Last week Branch Communcations tried to instigate the conversation about organ donation and get people speaking more candidly about the issue. After keeping the students of Waikato University guessing from Monday morning onwards with on-campus chalk inscriptions, posters, and subtle stickers on Momento coffee lids that beared the simple message ‘Have you told your Mum yet?’, the campaign team broke their silence in Wednesday’s Cultural Hour. A team of dashingly-attired Mums, including the 2013 WSU Vice-President, strolled the campus with an assortment of baked treats instigating conversation with fellow students and staff about organ donation. People were not only relieved to finally find out what Mum needed to know, but they also seemed appreciative to have the opportunity to talk openly about a frequently-avoided topic and hear other people’s opinions on the issue. The photo booth also proved to be a popular addition to the event, wherein people could get a photo with some of the team and view the photos shortly afterwards on Facebook. If you weren’t present for Cultural Hour last Wednesday, the photos in this feature give you an idea of what events transpired on the day. More photos, social media, links, and information about both the event and the awareness campaign can be found on the Facebook page, www. facebook.com/HaveYouToldYourMumYet. If you would prefer to directly find out more about organ donation, please visit the Organ Donation New Zealand website, http://www.donor.co.nz/.
www.donor.co.nz
Hi my name is Alix, and I am an addict. Not to alcohol, or methamphetamine, not even to online shopping. I am a media addict. Now, this may seem trivial to you, if you spend every Friday night on the pokies, but I assure you, it is still a thing. Okay, okay, before you switch off due to my white-girl/ first-world-problems introduction, I bet that most of you also suffer from some form of this addiction. Yeah, I see you there. In class with your laptop out, trawling cyberspace mid-lecture. You, my friend, with all your newsfeed refreshing may have a real problem. I checked my newsfeed three times before this paragraph was out. The problem, we are told, lies in the inability to “switch off”. Which is understandable, because it is 2012 and you know that the world continues to revolve while you are sleeping. You know something’s going down somewhere… and even if it’s dead boring you feel some satisfaction with just being “in the know”. So when you lose your iPhone, or the battery runs flat while you’re at uni, you feel absolutely cut off. This may be fine for some people but for others it can lead to fidgeting, a feeling of disconnection, and the ever pointless emotion; worry. What if someone is trying to contact you? What if something important has happened? You won’t know!! What will you talk about with your friends over coffee?! I’ll just skip this class and go home and get it. Just incase. THIS IS AN ADDICTION. So, if you can be addicted to media like Facebook, stuff. co.nz, Twitter, Youtube, Pinterest, Flipboard, etc. then if I am quite honest with you, I may have several addictions at present. If I miss a day of current event headlines, I feel horribly stupid. If I don’t check my Facebook for 24 hours I feel a wee bit lonely. Kinda like I haven’t seen my friends in a while. Very, very bizarre behavior. I do not like. The need to check up on the rest of the world, just to make
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sure it’s still there is rather debilitating. But that’s what an addiction does to you. I’m sure some people will say, “Hey, it’s just our generation. We’re super-connected!” or “It’s just a personal habit. I could stop whenever I want” or “It’s just part of who I am. I’m a blogger.” Probably not in those words because it sounds incredibly douche-y, as most bloggers are wont to do, but I’m sure you get what I mean. So where do we draw the line between a mere habit, a source of identity, and a full-blown addiction? Social Media: The legacy of our generation. I think if you are checking it more than once every few hours, you are bordering addicted. If you have increasing trouble switching off before you retire for the evening, you may have a problem. Studies have shown that staring at a computer/tablet/mobile screen before trying to drift off can even make it harder to get your eight hours. Get reacquainted with a paperback instead. Read course notes if you must. Alcohol: The granddaddy of all addictions. If there were such a thing as an addiction tree, I feel alcoholism would be at the very root of it all. As glamorous as this addiction can be, all that passing out at formal events and missing your kids soccer games every Saturday, it is incredibly destructive. When you consistently come to the conclusion that a drunken stupor is preferred to your reality, you are already in hot water. Smoking/Drugs: Similar vein to that of alcoholism in terms of psychological and physical damage. We’ve kind of waged war against tobacco since it became widely accepted that you can actually die from it. Drugs on the other hand, are still up for debate amongst the young adult community and most indie musicians. My take: if you can’t have a good time without drugs, like at all, you are incredibly boring, possibly addicted, and should seek professional help.
Caffeine: You know your dependence on caffeine is bordering on addiction as soon as you start getting headaches when you skip your morning cup. Luckily, if you can handle it, a simple detox can set you back on track. Caffeine is a god, but I am going to hypocritically say, drink only as much as you need. Involuntary shakes are never fun. “This is heavy, Doc.” – Michael J. Fox. Gambling: Don’t do it man. You’re not going to win. They’ll make you think you’re winning, but you’re not. Pick up your chips, cash them out, and buy your kid some shoes for god’s sake.
Food: Two extremes here: you’re either eating too much, or not enough. Neither is pretty and both will threaten your health. If you, or anyone close to you is struggling with an unhealthy relationship with food, you really should look into getting help. I once watched this movie when I was 13 about high school girls with bulimia and I just can’t joke about it.
Video Games: Do I even need to say anything? If, about two hours in, you never reach that epiphany where you step outside yourself and exclaim “Hey! I blew off my friends to live a virtual life inside a game. This is kind of a waste of the very short life-span I already have. I should get a job. And a girlfriend. And learn Spanish.” then there is no hope for you. Hola.
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Relationships/Sex: You can be addicted to people, you know. It’s one thing to enjoy the company of another, but when you’re constantly passing up other opportunities, maybe it’s time to reassess how healthy your relationship to this person is. Especially if you spend most of the time in a tree while they are undressing. If you can’t stop having sex, I really don’t know what to tell you. Lock yourself inside at night? Don’t marry Katy Perry?
Shopping: Online, offline, it’s all the same. Sales are the worst. Ooh a waffle iron, 45% off. I MUST HAVE THIS. I’ve saved so much! Aaaaand you never take it out of the box. Touché Briscoes. You probably have the same issue with clothing stores like Cotton On and Glassons. If it’s on sale, you might as well get it, gee don’t be silly. Oh, it doesn’t come in your size? Damn it, guess you’ll have to get it a size smaller. You’ll still wear it though… Talk to your bank about restricting your accounts. You’ll thank me later when you’re holidaying in Fiji. So there you have it, a handful of common addictions in very tight nutshells. If for whatever reason you find yourself succumbing to any of the above, tell someone about it and try to wrench yourself free, or claim it as a personality trait and brag about it to all your friends. “Bro, I’m so addicted to V. This is my third one today, and I’ll probably get more. How hardcore is that?” By Alix Higby
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You’re all dirty little candy gobbling muffle crunchers. I don’t need to prove it to you. You can prove it to me. Bitch. I’m sorry, the whole ‘bitch’ thing was uncalled for; I was trying to impress you. You get invited out to ‘casual Wednesday cocktails’ but you’re povo. Do you... a) Decline.You’ll save your money for another time. b) Decline but spend the rest of the night crying and wanting to change your mind. c) Accept then jump out of the car on the way to town. d) Accept. Buy the cheapest cocktail and attempt to sit on that for the next 4 hours. e) Accept and go hard because fuck it. Who needs rent money? Pussssays. You’re stuck in a 2 hour lecture and want to gap halfway through. Do you... a) Suck it up and stay because you’re a pusssssay. b) ‘Suck it up’ but really just stay because you can’t be fucked moving anymore. c) Freak out and fail to make any decisions on account of having a panic attack. d) Slowly pack out your stuff then wait for someone else to stand up so you can ghost them out the door. e) Stand up mid sentence and do a haka whilst leaving ECON203 not wearing pants. Favourite colour. a) Blue/Red b) Orange c) Green d) Yellow/Pink e) Double Rainbow Pet-peeves in class. a) Loud people b) People that don’t get it c) Being too cold d) People that do get it e) English majors
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Pet-peeves in drinking situations. a) Loud people b) People that get too drunk c) Being too warm d) People that don’t get too drunk e) English majors You are a... a) Feminist/Misogynist b) Lady c) A Lady-Man d) Man e) Glass of orange juice Your favourite least-favourite word is... a) Moist b) Periods c) Flaccid d) Panties e) Cunt Alcohol of choice. a) Wine spritzer b) Light Beer c) Vault d) Gin/Vodka e) Tequila/Roofies Mostly A’s You’re addicted to being an ultimate dry bitch, only having 2 friends and even one of them thinks you’re drier than a paedophile in a rest home. You’re addicted to hating MMF, Sports Thoughts and Horror Scopes. You’re addicted to freshly pressed linens and knowing someone’s name before putting them in and around your mouth. You love knitting mittens for the disabled even though they hate you. Every single one of them hates you; and your mittens. Addiction of choice: Monogamy Mostly B’s You’re addicted to old school George Michael. You’re addicted to mildly cool things but never anything that would mildly interest anyone other than no one,
ever. You’re addicted to pear ciders with ice and also disagreeing with uni magazines. You’re addicted to spicy chicken sushi because it’s the closest you’ll ever get to having an OE and you watch porn with headphones in because you had a penis but your girl friend cut it off. Addiction of choice: Not having to clean up recycling whilst hungover. Mostly C’s You’re addicted to being so insanely normal. You’re addicted to umbrellas when it’s raining, jandals when it’s summer and Kindles’ when it’s 50 Shades of Grey. You drink socially, go to class, do your work, go home during the holidays, do Sudoku, passed NCEA, have a few friends and live an average life. Essentially, you’re addicted to being beige. Nothing too crazy for you. No sir-ree. Addiction of choice: Vodka and things. Many, many things.
Mostly D’s You’re addicted to attempting a Skins life whilst simultaneously not achieving. Your version of Project X is more likely a scene from the 1st 20minutes. There’s a lot of talk about getting laid but very little in the way of being thrown around the room. You’re addicted to portraying an image of yourself that may be difficult to maintain. You’re addicted to colour blocking and creepers but only if the ‘colours’ are brown and the creepers are only 2cm high. Addiction of choice: Pastel colours and tampons Mostly E’s You’re either addicted to appearing wild or you’re genuinely addicted to daily shots of Keith Richards urine. You try your hand at the Bar 101 gaming room but Lachie has to kick you out on account of being addicted to having sex with the machines. You’re addicted to an even ratio of attention and horse tranquilizers. Addiction of choice: Licking your Eftpos for an extra ‘zing.’
Love you all. mmf.x
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The “legal” drugs debate is rearing its ugly head again. In all likelihood New Zealand is going to be building one of the first regulated markets for synthetic cannabis and other legal “party” drugs. There will be the standard burden of proof that the product is safe and with that comes a bunch of testing on animals and eventually some human trials but in 2014 Kronic Pinapple Express and a bunch of other legal highs will be back on the market.
Which means that the elderly population of New Zealand has approximately 15 months to completely lose their shit and try and get this stopped and lose their shit they will. See a generation exists out there that thinks legal drugs and some of the illegal ones are absolutely disgusting. It isn’t their fault for thinking that way either. Partly it is just a generational thing. They are from a generation that thinks having three glasses of whisky every day or having beer or wine every night is fine but drugs are bad because they have always been bad. In part it is also the fault of the media that decides synthetic cannabis could be a divisive issue and programme their news shows in such a way that it creates a cyclical media panic. Then all of a sudden it seems like all you hear is stories about Kronic or party drugs but they are so slanted and create such a skewed view. That isn’t to say that there aren’t serious cases where a synthetic drug has created serious side effects. Just a few days ago I heard a story about a student who needed a month of treatment and recovery after using synthetic drugs. But those experiences are the exception and not the rule.
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Then there are the people the media love to highlight, the idiots who use a product in a way that it wasn’t meant to be used. Someone who takes more than they should or mixes the legal high with other stuff, or uses aerosol cans in a way they shouldn’t. Basically stupid people doing stupid things. Too often they are the examples used to try and ban products like legal highs. That would be like saying a thousand people drove drunk and got in accidents last month so we are going to ban cars. A few years ago an idiot in Dunedin accidently electrocuted himself cooking toast by the bath tub so let’s ban toasters. What you don’t hear enough of is the other side of the story. Last year I tried three of four different legal highs. One of them made my entire face go numb for about 20 minutes. It was awesome! No one got out of control, it didn’t lead to some wild party. It just made for some fun conversation and a really long game of Monopoly. I can’t be the only person in New Zealand to have had that experience. I have taken legal drugs and I had an awesome time, no addiction, no side effects and no out of control urge to kill or injure.
It’s time for a mature conversation on drugs. It’s time for people to talk about all of the issues both real and imagined around legal and natural highs and it’s time for serious reform. The reality is that while I had fun with legal synthetic highs I am not crazy about them being tested on animals and I’m even less excited about the potential problems associated with any manufactured drug. So let’s talk pot….. The argument over whether or not to decriminalise or legalise pot is stupid and it bores me. Because here is the spoiler alert, one day pot will be de-criminalised and then a decade on from that it will be legalised. How do I know it? Because we are seeing the same thing happen with prostitution just like we did with anti- prohibition and when the Women’s Christian Temperance Union started to push for women to have the right to vote back in 1886. Eventually popular opinion turns in favour of these things that at one time or another weren’t considered normal and we make the decision that if things like alcohol or prostitution aren’t going away then we should figure out the safest way to do it and also make some money out of it for the government if we can. The legalisation of pot could signal a brand new economy for us both in tourism and production. That’s not to mention the tax opportunities. For the first time New Zealand could use the phrase clean GREEN tourism with a little irony attached. It’s more than that though. Legalisation would improve the safety attached with the distribution of pot. In much the same way that the argument was made to take prostitution off the streets and into the brothels where standards and health checks were at a premium we could institute real standards on not only growth but distribution.
We could also balance that with a percentage of the profits of the sale going into drug education and reform that could help deal with serious problems with addiction. We could stop having to show up at a random dealers place at 10pm and awkwardly make conversation and we could look out for warning signs in our friends and colleagues that they are getting a little too addicted. The problem is we aren’t ready for any of that to happen so we are doing some truly stupid things instead. We are trying to regulate a new industry to create a synthetic version of an illegal product. We will spend literally hundreds of thousands in the next ten years trying to manage every single company that comes into the synthetic market without actually stopping those who are smoking actual drugs. We will commit thousands of hours of police time prosecuting drug smokers, growers and dealers that have broken the law. Despite an article in the Sunday Star Times claiming that “Police have begun decriminalising marijuana by stealth.” There will always be people who object to drug use. Whether their argument is moral, religious or the result of a personal experience, we shouldn’t belittle their reasons for disagreeing with legalisation but we shouldn’t allow them to set the tone or even the timing of a national conversation. Real drug reform is in the best interest of the country. It has tangible benefits and could provide industry, tax revenue, better treatment for addiction and better education about the real health risks. Besides does anyone remember how good our cricket team got back in the 90s when they were all baked. We could be that good again. We won the ICC trophy, that is not nothing.
A 2009 study conducted at the University of Berkley showed an increasing rate of marijuana use in the teenage population where cannabis legislation was strict comparative to the relatively low rates of teenage use in places like Holland with its liberal drug use policy.
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Reviews
REVIEWS Whatever
by Michel Houellebecq
The Binding of Isaac is an indie game from the team from Super Meat Boy, and as such, the game sports a similar art style. Currently it is only available on Steam. I wish it was available on other platforms, but due to the religious connotations of the games title and the theme of the game, it is having trouble being released on other platforms. TBOI is a Legend of Zelda style dungeon crawler, with health points, various items to find and randomly generated dungeons. At the end of each stage is a boss fight, will the final boss being Isaac’s mum. You can sort of count this review as incomplete as even though I have logged 44 hours of playtime to date, I have never completed the game, which speaks of its difficulty. If you thought Dark Souls was bad, this is worse. TBOI has perma-death, which means that whenever you die, you must start the entire game again.
Due to it being on Steam, there are various achievements to get. There are also other characters to unlock which have various different starting items and stats. You unlock these characters by completing certain requirements in-game, such as passing on two treasure rooms and others. With the recent expansion The Wrath of Lamb, there are new enemies, bosses, items and rooms to explore. This game has little to no story, it is all about the gameplay, which the game can easily rely on. At $5 US for both the game and the expansion DLC, it is incredible value for money. You will get the same feelings as from Dark Souls: anger and disappointment when you fail, but an incredible sense of achievement when you succeed. Now if you will excuse me, I am off to kiss the weekend goodbye to play Borderlands 2. Peace!
Reviewed by Craig Barrett.
“I realise I’m smoking more and more. I must be on at least four packs a day. Smoking cigarettes has become the only element of real freedom in my life. The only act to which I tenanciously cling with my whole being. My one ambition.” So says the narrator of ‘Whatever,’ a cynical thirty year old computer programmer with no prospects, no girlfriend and as he says above, no ambition. He’s the sole protaganist, and the novel mirrors his bleak outlook. Not a lot happens plotwise, and as a reader you’re peppered with sardonic insights. I don’t like to use a quote in a review, because of that old cliché, tell us what you know, not what the other guy does. But I have here, because it sums up an attitude. It’s not just the attitude of Houellebecq, but French literature in general. It’s as culturally embedded as drinking wine with musty cheese. The French in their arts (as many do in life as well), take a pessimistic view of things. It’s the complete opposite of American optimism, where everything is great and awesome, and if it’s not, you pretend it is anyway. You need to understand this concept before starting to read this. Otherwise you might find it pretty depressing. But it is a uniquely French thing, and it doesn’t mean they necessarily don’t enjoy life, it’s just they recognise its pitfalls in advance, and like to discuss them. It also ties back to their
Free legal download of the week – Getting Better at Being Alone by Fleur Jack. New Zealand’s own country starlet gives us a heartfelt live performance (via bandcamp.com).
philosophical tradition, rooted as it is in the existentialism of Sartre and Camus. But if you can get on the right wavelength, the novel has a lively, dark humour running through it. There’s a certain macabre pleasure in saying ‘no’ to life, spitting in the eye of everyone else’s sacred cows. Which is what Houellebecq has done here. The funny thing is ‘Whatever’ was a number one best seller in France. Sometimes the easiest way to learn about a country’s soul is to read their books.
Reviewed by Kevin Pryor
Album of the week - Bright Lights EP by Gary Clark Jr 5/10 Gary Clark Jr might not be a name you know… yet. But as he croons in the opening lines on the title track of his debut EP, “You’re gunna know my name by the end of the night.” And he’s right. This one man blues revival act has been given the kind of praise to make that makes me sceptical. The New York Times has called him the next Hendrix. I mean, that’s just ridiculous. You’ve almost got to wade through the praise to get to this EP, which the helpful folk at JB hi fi thrust into my hands for all of $5. Considering it’s a 20 min plus blues fest, that’s bang for your buck no matter what the outcome. And the outcome? Well, it’s ok. It’s probably better than ok, but the moments of success are just that, moments. There are times in these songs that sweep you up and wrap their warm sounds around you and its cosy. There are other times where Clark lets rip with a rocking blues solo and it’s great but it seems so controlled. It’s so polished. The opening track Clark does swoon through a distorted intro before his vocals come in for the first verse which could easily be Lenny Kravitz radio friendly single. His voice is nice. That’s not really a compliment either, there’s no depth, no gravel; just nice. By the end of the song, he does plummet into those spiralling solos that remind me of BB king when he’s on form or even Jack White’s more drawn out pieces and that definitely is a compliment.
Second track, Don’t Owe You a Thing, steps it up a notch. A cracking drum beat drives Clark’s guitar through its paces. The rhythm guitar gives the opening a country feel and even with Clark’s voice and the squeaky clean feel, there is something he is able to capture in this song that pays respects to his roots in a contemporary way. It has a Woody Guthrie traveling through the mid-west feel even though it seems well and truly placed in modern day New York City. That essence is one of the things that really impressed me about Clark, and confirms his potential. The third song, Things Are Changin’ loses me a little in its R ‘n’ B flavoured acoustic swamp. It’s pretty in the same way Clark’s voice is nice. It lacks that texture he is capable of and doesn’t have enough to bring me back in and really focus on it. But his fourth and final number for this EP, shows Clark is able to translate his sonic blues rock to acoustic guitar. Deft notes sprinkled amongst more classical scales and smoky lines from Clark demonstrate some of the skill and raw talent that has people raving about him. Clark faces a problem that shouldn’t really exist in today’s musical landscape. His talent is unquestionable, but it feels as though he’s compromised his sound for the highly produced slick sound a record label would be after. As labels either begin to keel over and die or are actively re-inventing themselves to keep up with music and technology, it seems strangely ironic that the man chosen to revive blues, one of the greatest forms of music from long ago, is doing it through a format contrived by the likes of people desperately hanging on to the recent past. Thankfully, technology has not escaped them completely with the opening track Bright Lights available for free download from garyclarkjr.com.
Reviews
Video clip of the week – Yet Again by Grizzly Bear. Brooklyn based hipsters give us a stunner before they grace our shores (via youtube.com).
Opinion
Forgiveness, Redemption and Second Chances
I
’ve been MIA for last couple of weeks. It’s that time of the year when we all feel like we have far too much on our plates; the essays and class tests start rolling in and god forbid those damn group assignments start popping up left right and centre. I currently have 3 separate group tasks and they are driving me up the wall. Now is the time where we realise that our past 3 months of drinking, not doing readings, and late nights are all catching up with us. Our sporting commitments are becoming a drag and everything just seems to be spiraling out of control. There are those few that seem to have everything planned out and organised, and I can’t help but wonder how they do it. Do they have some kind of magical power that I don’t, or am I just far below par when it comes to managing my time and organizing my life? I think the second option would be a safer bet. A lecturer told us today that he expected us to spend a minimum of 200 hours of study on his paper. JESUS!! I’m taking four papers, so that’s 800 hours before exams come around, where do people find this time?! I think I have finally realised that attempting to work outside of uni hours for me is damn near impossible. I try, but with distractions and the ability to procrastinate like a bowss I seem to be forever coming up with any excuse to put things aside until the last minute. So I have come to a conclusion… for the next 5 weeks, I am going to treat this thing we all sign our souls to and pay thousands of dollar for, like a job. It’s the only way I can see myself getting through this, and I’m sure there are many of you that are in the same boat as me. This uni biz from now on is a 8 – 5 job for me; whether I have class or not, I’m going to be on campus catching up on the hours I never spend productively off campus. Join me, give it a go… I could be onto something, good luck. Something Hip
Dearest First years, I find it extremely difficult to raise the white flag, admit that I’m wrong, and ask for forgiveness. The first step is taking time-out, calming down and admitting that you have hurt someone. If you can’t grasp that concept then there is no point harvesting a fake apology. I’m not studying psychology, but I know from experience that heading into a postargument/fall-out scene before you have had time to process your actions will result in a round two, or a cheesy make-up before another disagreement over the same problem. Locate the problem before trying to remedy it. If you are not sorry then don’t say it. The sooner you try to apologize, the better. Without going right back to the tell-us-how-you-feel peer mediation scenario, show the person that you are truly sorry, that you made a mistake and you understand you hurt them. I found that trying to relate to that person helps: If I were you I would be upset too; I can’t believe I would do this to you; you have the right to be angry. It is very easy to give up when you get the cold shoulder. Don’t, you must be patient, sympathetic and understanding. Although I am not a fan of those who hold grudges, do not expect to be forgiven overnight. I think that perseverance is the key, so keep in contact. Face-to-face is best as it shows you are willing to get out of bed to see them, but if you can’t possibly do that then at least message, text or call them. Do something special to compensate for your mess, like buying them lunch, going to class early just to save them a seat (I understand if that is pushing it), shout them a drink in town (they may accept an earlier apology after a few drinks) or getting them sweet like chocolate which would always work with me. When you have been granted access back into that person’s life then it is probably going to be a little awkward at first. Keep the conversation up and never mention that thing again. I think that it is even more awkward if they decide to make a joke out of it, or cash it in for a get-out-of-jail free card later on. However, if they forgive you then all is forgiven and even they can’t go back on their word. Move on. You have successfully redeemed yourself. Congratulations. By Julia Gabel
MCSA Scenario Night
3 tasks rd
Date: October 3 Time: 5.30‐8pm Where: Gaura Room, SUB building, University of Waikato Entry fee: $5
Market a product Handle a crisis Plan an event
Enter your team
mcsawaikato.weebly.com
You all know that girl (and if you don’t, it’s highly likely you ARE that girl). Shoes a million and one pairs, and that still isn’t enough. Shoes to match your hat... Shoes to match your toenails... With the abundance of cheap shoes available, it’s easy to have a collection of shoes which keeps on growing. Rubi Shoes and the Warehouse are excellent if you want a pair of leopard print ballet flats or floral brogues which might be the fad this season, but it’s highly unlikely to find a pair of shoes that will last you more than a season for under $50.
Hold on, you lost me at brogues. There are more types of shoes than your standard jandals and sneakers. Brogues are an old-fashion type of shoe (also known as oxfords), a style worn by both men and women with “decorative perforations in the leather” (aka holes punched for ornamental effect). They were in fashion a couple of years back, with all sorts of colour and patterns available for a modern twist on an old classic. Recently creepers and winkle-pickers have become popular again – both originating in the late 1950s. Creepers are known for their particularly high sole (think like a platform, but no gap between the heel and ball of the foot), while winklepickers (also known as “cunt-hunters”) are boots with a long sharp toe (usually in black). Recently, the resurgence of the 1980s/early-1990s grunge fashion (where creepers were also popular) has seen even fashion mainstreamers like Cher Lloyd and Rihanna wearing them –proving that fashion is indeed a cycle. Comedian Noel Fielding and British band The Horrors can be linked to the resurgence of winkle-pickers, with The Horrors even having one on their official merchandise (which Anne was really tempted to buy at last year’s Laneway Festival). If you’re not a pseudo-mod or the reincarnation of Kurt Cobain, some more accessible shoe trends are velvet heels, studs everything, and platform wedges for summer. Thankfully, we’re just coming into spring, so if you want to get some bargains for next winter, check out the stores now. Even better if your feet are larger or smaller than the average Joe – ALL the shoes! Alice has been yelling JELLIES at me so I feel required to mention them... Included in the 90’s revival we’re having at the moment, jelly shoes back in fashion. Feeling slightly old, since we’re
old enough for stuff that were the craze in our childhoods to come back in fashion (I can see a mature student rolling her eyes at this already); we can at least appreciate jelly shoes for their comfortable awesomeness and waterproof versatility. However a trend we’re not so fond of is the sneakerwedge. They look like sneakers, but actually have a massive wedge and just completely contradict the purpose of sneakers (making them neither comfortable nor suitable for sports). Whatever you choose to wear, just think of your poor feet which have to carry you round all day. Toeing the line (your complimentary pun for this week) in terms of fashion is all well and good, but not when you have blisters the size of Lake Taupo. Stay beautiful, Alice & Anne
Hazel Hayes, 587 Victoria Street, Hamilton. On the third Saturday of every month there is a market in Tamahere, it is AWESOME. I absolutely adore these markets, and it’s really easy to eat too much there because of all the amazing food. I recommend starting with a coffee from Espresso To Go, the black and white coffee cart next to the church, there can be a wait but the coffee is totally worth it. Right next to the coffee cart are two of the most awesome foodstuffs at the markets, so you can fill up on those in the meantime; to the left is Santa Rosa Spanish bakery, get an Empanada for breakfast, at the moment I’m stuck on the chicken, but the bacon & cheese, and spinach & cheese are damned good too; to the right is Mama’s Donuts ....Oh sweet jebus those donuts are incredible! At $3 and $2 respectively these two items are a great start to the morning. Also: take a bag to the markets, because you are going to want to fill it with all sorts of amazing things. After a glorious morning at the markets my lovely market date and I headed into Hazel Hayes in the afternoon (after a rest from the markets and a walk to work off the Empanada) for a couple of their famed Pork belly burgers with potato hash brown, aioli, watercress, vintage cheese and mustard. I have heard wonderful things about these burgers and I was very excited. Hazel Hayes is an eclectic little cafe hiding on Victoria Street, somewhere between Domaine and Hoagies. I’ve been here in the past and had their iced coffee and their signature cheese, mustard and caper scones, which are amazeballs. The iced coffee is shorter and stronger and has an
wonderful vanilla syrup in it (this is a pet-peeve of mine, if I order an iced coffee it should be an iced coffee, in a coffee sized cup, not a coffee-flavoured milkshake! Hazel Hayes understand this), the scone is bursting with flavour and is deliciously cheesy, with the capers and mustard bringing a sharpness to balance it out, wonderful. When our burgers arrived I realised that it was going to be a challenge to finish these puppies, they are massive. The hash brown is a ball of in-house made deliciousness, the aioli is smothered all over the plate and two huge chunks of pork belly sit in the middle of this gigantic burger. It was awesome, but I have to admit that I was conquered by the burger, I simply could not quite finish it. About halfway through I had to start removing the fat from the strips of pork belly, it was so rich - it was too much for me to eat it all and try to finish the burger (in case you haven’t had pork belly before; you are totally supposed to eat the fat, it’s usually slow roasted, so it melts in your mouth ...nom!). The staff at Hazel Hayes are lovely, they are chatty and laid back. The cafe is clean, bright and sleek, with a cute display cabinet for their counter. If you can’t make it there, go to Mr Milton’s Canteen on Alexandra Street - Hazel Hayes sister cafe. If all else fails they also supply the food for Milk and Honey, and you know how I feel about that place. Go team! Four and a half coffee cups.
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I showed my essay to Dr.Prill, who began to explain why it was marked with a zinc bunny-rabbit wearing oven-mitts for a grade. My major confusion was about to be demoted to a corporal puzzlement. “You see, Professor ***** believed that an F wasn’t low enough for a bad essay. He started to give lower and lower marks until he ran out of alphabet, so he invented his own.” “So what does this equate to?”, asked I. “Pay no attention to the mark, we’ll probably change it to a B+ at the end of semester”, said he. “Well, how am I doing compared to the rest of the class?” asked I. Dr. Prill typed away at his keyboard for several seconds and peered at his screen intently. He then turned on his computer and picked up a printed list next to him. “Well, Jenny’s got a C, Terry’s got a B, Tom’s failed already for some reason….someone called ‘Captain Obvious’ has a B-…. ”. “Am I coming first in the class?” asked I hopefully. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you that due to confidentiality regulations.” “But..” started I. “Can’t argue with regulations”, assured he. “Now I have some questions for you.” “But…”, continued I. “Why do you have all of your limbs after your encounter with Professor *****’s dog?” asked he. “I don’t know,” admitted I, “it seemed quite friendly”. “That monster is fed with a constant supply of undergraduates, so why not you?” “Well, I could ask him, but he’d probably decline to answer due to the confidentiality policy.” Dr. Prill regarded me over his mock-hogany desk. “I have a proposition for you”, said he. “Okay, but you do realize I’m a married man”, Said I. “At about 12:00 tomorrow, Professor ***** will be out and will leave his land-shark guarding his office as usual. If you can get past the dog, go into his office, pick up a digital voice-recorder, bring it to me and dance a segment of Swan Lake, we could change your final grade to, say, an A-”. He smoothed his non-existent beard on his chin and grinned thoughtfully. “Okay”, hesitantly said I as I hesitated. I stopped hesitating and continued, “Why the rendition of Swan Lake?” “For my general entertainment”, said he. “How about The Nutcracker and an A grade?”, negotiated I. “The Nutcracker? Nope, don’t have the sound track. It’s Swan Lake or nothing.” Affirmed he. “Well if that’s the way you feel about it, it’s nothing!”, said I, “Go ahead and give me you’re A+, see if I care!” “An A+, and there’ll be NO dancing from you then!”, shouted he. “Tinker bell..Tinker bell….”, called out the voice of No.3 from down the hall.
Your content’s perfect, your quotes are relevant, and your words are not one too few nor one too many. All this, and you’re still wondering what you might improve. Something isn’t right, but what? I see it. It’s that three-letter word at the bottom of page eight, and it’ll cost you, because it’s the difference between your lecturer liking your essay, and your lecturer loving your essay. That is assuming they can expertly distinguish between good and bad grammar. The three-letter word I speak of is the innocent ‘are’. Such a meek word, this ‘are’, yet such a travesty it becomes when wrongly incorporated. For example, a man might say, “In conclusion, none of us are hungry for dinner.” This, I proclaim, is grammatically incorrect. What a man should say is this: “In conclusion, none of us is hungry for dinner.” “Absurd!” You profess, slamming the desk and sending loose pages into the empty air. You come to your senses as you realise you might need those pages. It’s true, dear friend. ‘None’ can be replaced with ‘not one’, and a man wouldn’t say “Not one of us are hungry for dinner,” now would he? It’s the same as if you said “One of us is hungry,” which is also correct. “One of us is”, “None of us is.” You get used to it. So why should you care? Two reasons. Firstly, sounding smart is better than sounding stupid. Secondly, your lecturer will notice your attention to detail, especially in a case like this. You see, the phrase “None of us is hungry” instinctively looks and sounds odd. In coming across it, your lecturer will stop and re-read to make sure it was something they overlooked and not a mistake on your part. However, any good lecturer knows, deep down, that you’re right, and so they’ll smile to themselves and perhaps appreciate your essay more as a whole based simply on your grammatical precision. In the end, they had to stop and take notice of this precision; it’s a rare instance of them initially thinking you’re wrong, and then realising that, hey wait, they were wrong to think you were wrong! Markers spot all the mistakes, but it’s not often they’ll note a lack of mistake; and to achieve this end, you need good grammar. Having said that, I do wonder, sometimes, that a lecturer who instructs his students to write an essay with a conclusion that confirms the satisfied states of their stomachs, is in fact a lecturer at all, or rather merely a selfproclaimed philosopher. By Pseudonym
national earthquake drill
9:26am, 26 September 2012
DROP, COVER, HOLD
DROP
COVER
HOLD
Be part of New Zealand’s largest earthquake drill. visit
www.getthru.govt.nz
to register for ShakeOut and find out more information
THE CONSTANT CRYING UPSETS MARIA There always seems to be crying coming from the house next door. The young children there don’t seem to have enough love or care and they often appear hungry, cold or dirty. Often they appear to be left alone. Maria doesn’t know if she should interfere. She just doesn’t know what to do. Maria should do something about the problem next door. She can ring Child, Youth and Family (CYF). Child abuse doesn’t necessarily have to be physical. It can be sexual, mental, emotional, or it can even be neglect. Children can be severely damaged by abuse and neglect. They are hurt physically, emotionally, mentally and socially and it can cause fatalities. Their self-esteem is damaged, sometimes permanently. Child abuse is everyone’s problem and it ís more common than you think. It affects children from every type of home, family, religion, race and culture. In most cases of abuse, the abuser is well known to the child, a family member, close relative or friend of the family. By reporting abuse, you can help make a child safe. If a child or young person tells you they are being abused: - Don’t panic. - Listen. Write down what the child says. - Don’t interview the child about what they have said. - Reassure the child that they have done the right thing. - Tell them that they will get help. - Tell Child, Youth and Family. Ring 0508 FAMILY (0505 326 459) or the Police. If nothing seems to be happening, contact Child, Youth and Family again. The Citizen’s Advice Bureau Hamilton provides advice and information from four locations. They are at 55 Victoria St (Mon-Fri 8.45am-5pm), 70 Kent St Frankton (Mon-Fri 9am-4.30pm), Garden Place (Mon-Fri 11am-2pm) and the Cowshed at the University (Thurs 11-1pm).† They also have legal and consumer services available where you can get more specialized help. Book an appointment at WSU. Phone the CAB on 0800 367 222 (0800 FOR CAB) or look at the CAB website www.cab.org.nz
Sue Moroney’s Bill to extend Paid Parental Leave to 26 weeks is open for submissions after passing its first reading in July. There has been some scandal around this Bill with Bill English threatening to veto the Bill because of the associated costs. So what does this Bill mean for our future? as with any political debate there are two sides to every story. Bill English claimed it would cost up to half a billion dollars over the next three to four years whereas Moroney said she had received advice from the Department of Labour showing the estimated cost was $285.6m over three years. Reducing the opportunity cost for parents to stay at home and raise their children themselves has a wide range of benefits- including but not limited to: - Paid parental leave firmly connects families with employment. One young mother said to us “I was lucky enough to be in work when I fell pregnant at 17, this was great because I had somewhere to go back to once I had had baby- the only problem was he was so young when I had to go back” - With an increasing number of young New Zealanders heading to Australia increasing paid parental leave in New Zealand would be one less reason to leave. - Health of the mother and child –The World Health Organisation recommends 6 months exclusive breastfeeding. 26 weeks of Paid Parental leave supports this. - Giving families greater scope to establish bonds with their newborn will have a positive impact on the long term physical and mental development of the child. This means there will be long term savings on costs that arise in the health, education and justice sectors for children who have not had their needs met in their formative years. For the YWRC the question is can we afford not to enable these benefits to take place in our communities? For more information contact Sue Moroney or check out this cool website http://26forbabies.org/, submissions are open until the 5th of October- make a submission have your voice heard.
ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING Pursuant to rule 9.1 of the constitution of the Waikato Students’ Union Incorporated, notice is hereby given that the Annual General Meeting of members shall be held on:
Wednesday 26th September 2012 at 1pm, in L.G.01
Business to be conducted includes: Presentation of the annual report Presentation of the audited accounts Presentation of the annual plan and budget Approval of membership fees and directors honoraria Appointment of the auditor and the solicitor
conceptual realm. There is a reason for this practice- it relates to the ideas of beauty where it is practiced and the cultural value of virginity.
Sexual pleasure is the key to world peace. Or so the Raelians believe. Raelians also believe that humans were created by extraterresterials called Elohim, who will only return to Earth when there is peace. For the Raelians Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed were all aliens appearing in human form to check on our progress, and we confused them with being prophets. It’s a shame Elohim didn’t make an appearance during the sexual revolution, really. Or maybe they did and we just confused them for a crazed hippy on acid. To help everyone fulfill their sexual potential and contribute to world peace, the Raelians are building a pleasure hospital in West Africa. The sponsorship program to make a donation to help build the pleasure hospital is called ‘Adopt-A-Clit’. Sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction. It’s not all fun and games though, there is a darker side to the reason for the existence of a pleasure hospital too. The hospital provides reconstructive surgery for women who have been circumcised, controversially referred to as female genital mutilation. The clit adopting Raelians are of the “genital mutilation” ilk, which is perhaps the first indication of some notso-goodness. What actually is female circumcision? The extent and method vary, typically it involves the removal of the majority of external genitalia including the clitoris, and is often done without anesthetic on prepubescent girls. The horror stories of female circumcision, those not resulting in death from shock or
infection, tell of young girls with their legs tied together for days, left under a make shift shelter so they can heal. It would be a mistaken assumption to think this is entirely unwanted even by the young girls themselves. Herein lies the complexity- cultural relativism. Cultural relativism is part of the answer to why calling someone ‘mutilated’ is not very fair, or nice, or conducive to a positive partnership for ‘development’. When is it okay for us (whoever ‘us’ happens to be) to say that something is not okay for someone else? And in appointing ourselves the deciders of what is and is not acceptable, are we also considering how we have come to be in such a position? I don’t mean that I think this form of female circumcision is a good idea and reconstructive surgery is hardly a weird sexual colonization. The point is that culture is best changed from within and that the power to define norms is not equally distributed within and between cultures (ours is no exception). The well meaning West have caused a lot of problems by devaluing or misunderstanding embedded cultural meanings, ethnocentrically judging other societies and imposing different social standards or unknowingly supporting interventions which perpetuate harm. I suspect this is one of those. Reconstructive surgery certainly could restore dignity to women who want to be ‘normal’ as the Raelians claim, though this also assumes that women who are circumcised have lost their dignity and extends a relative idea of normality beyond it’s
Asides from that there is more to a woman than her clitoris, what does the adopt-a-clit program mean about the society it is supported by? It might be easy to think that a society is sexist when a lot of women (not all) are more or less expected to undergo this procedure, but what does it mean about our society when the way to talk about this issue is to reduce it to labia instead of liberation? ‘Great news unknown victim, someone in the West has bought your clitoris! You’re saved!’? Beyond the sexism this reflects in our own culture, there is something which is obscured by the sexual focus in discussing this practice- that is the position of women in society. When virginity is valued, women tend to be less valued, less included and less able to participate in the formal economy. Empowerment of women is incredibly important for the sake of equality and for the development of communities and countries. The empowerment of women is absolutely essential for proof start by googling ‘the girl effect’. For those who are affected by or are apart of the efforts to change this practice from the inside, and who would benefit from reconstructive surgery- it could be a powerful agent of change in womens lives. Primarily, programs like adopt-a-clit are a step backwards for women of all cultures. The Raelians are trying to do a good thing in a bad way, and perhaps the scale of sexual pleasure required to reunite us with our extraterrestrial brethren is not possible when the culture surrounding the practice of female circumcision and position of women in society remain unchanged.
*I’m quite amused by this article having tricked you into reading about feminism and development when you were expecting sex and drugs.
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Wednesday September 26 Skint House Bar 6-9 pm Weekly feeding for students plus sweet guest DJs playing too! 2 for 1 Wednesdays Grand Central Hotel 5-10 pm Go up to Matt, order that drink he always makes for Jess. Hint: It has egg in it. Get ready for the best cocktail ever. Bonus: 2 for 1 means you get more for the price of 1. You’re welcome.
Friday September 28 Static Doors open at 9 pm $5 door charge Been missing Thunderdykes? How convenient because they’re back at Static bringing friends like X-Ray Fiends (Auckland), The Redheads (H-Town) and Threat-Meet-Protocol (Tauranga) for one fun Friday night! Defying Gravity Bar 10pm till close M.O.A (Music of All) presents “Defying” at Gravity. The first of many more nights to come, the line up includes Connected DJs
(Auckland), and local DJs Hijenkz, Gavintron, Ollie G and the Master Chief.
Saturday September 29 Electro Static Doors open at 10 pm Gold Coin Entry Resident DJ Bevan Nichols rocking it with very special guest Ric Rush! Corona presents Surf and Snow Party with Jaycen A’mour (AKL) Agenda Free entry until midnight We hear there’s gonna be a snow filled dance floor and a balloon beach. If that’s not enticing enough, there are even special drink deals like $5 coronas and $4 electric popsicles. Get in before midnight for free entry!
The Come On Home Tour Official After Party Altitude Bar & Nightclub Live performances by J.Williams, K.One, Brooke Duff & DJCXL. Cue fangirl screaming here. For the latest happenings, fun chit chat, random gossip, and good music, tune in to the drive show with Jess and Mandy at 88.3 Fevah FM or stream it live http://fevah.co.nz. 4-6 pm, get with it.