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00
Reflect Laundry Powder 500g 2 for
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00
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00
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00
Prices valid until Sunday 12 October. Trade not supplied. Deals valid until this Sunday or while stocks last. Valid at PAK’nSAVE Clarence Street only.
WHOA! THAT’S CRAZY CHEAP
nexus magazine
EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
CONTENTS
DESIGN HAYLIE GRAY
—
MANAGING EDITOR JAMES RAFFAN
_03
Editorial
_04
Lettuce to the Editor
_05
News
_08
News from the University
_09
Sport
_10
Ridiculist & Vox Pops
_11
Reviews
_14
Honest Matt
_15
Horoscopes & Playlist
BRITTANY ROSE
_16
Auteur
COVER ARTWORK
_17
Arts and Stuff
_18
Oh The Drugs You'll Take
_22
Up Your Away-Game: How to
Pack for Summer
_24
Quotes of the Year
_26
The Doctor is In
CONTRIBUTORS SPORTS GUY DR RICHARD SWAINSON BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF AUNTY SLUT ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE KARL GUETHERT LOUISE HUTT SWEET PAINTED LADY LAURENCE MCLEAN MATT HICKS CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER JULES CRAFT SARA LEMME DARCIE ZAC LYON DR DAVE SNELL HP
EMILY LOWE WWW.BEHANCE.NET/EMILYLOWE PHOTOGRAPHY ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS BROOK JAMES CAM ROBINSON WILLIAM STILES ANDRE KONG LOUISE HUTT ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ OFFICES
_30 Columns
GROUND FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING
_38
Blind Date
GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON
_39 Advice
ONLINE NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
_41 Recipe
FACEBOOK.COM/NEXUSNZ @NEXUSMAG SPOTIFY: NEXUSMAGAZINE
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_42 Puzzles
PHOTOGRAPH: WILLIAM STILES
nexus magazine
EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT
—
I
t’s been a funny week, putting together what might be my last
you going to meet someone, will you get married, will you have kids?
Nexus. While I hope I’m here next year to cause some more
And how many iPhones are going to come out in 5 years, and how
trouble, if I’ve learnt anything at all while at university, it’s that
many people are going to realise they’re just consumerist nonsense?
the future is uncertain. You can plan until you’re purple- life is going
Editing Nexus has been a lot of fun. For all the times I shook my
to take whichever road it chooses, regardless of how you feel about
head in despair over the grammar and spelling that came across my
it. There is both a T and an S semester to go through before I know
desk, there were a dozen awesome things to counter it.
what’s happening next year- not to mention a long hot summer of unknown shenanigans.
Particular highlights include getting dunked in the Edge’s dunk tank on the coldest morning I can remember (I think I even had shoes
I might get hit by a bus. I might win lotto. I might move to Havelock
on, to give you an idea). I got to interview a wide range of people-
North, or Tauranga, or Kaitaia. I could lose my arms in some kind of
Winston Peters, Gareth Hughes, Chris Hipkins, Russell Norman…
weird and tragic boating mishap. Some fool might pay me to write
(why are all the politicians I interviewed male?) as well as familiar
and dance and ride my horse (which would kind of be like winning
faces like Nigel Latta and Nicky Hager. I caught some rad gigs, I
lotto). Or I might be back here causing trouble.
worked with some rad people, and the best thing of all? I got to write.
I’ve given up trying to think too far ahead. It’s exhausting, and it
It’s not overrated, doing the thing you love. It’s actually fucking
sets you up for disappointment. Some people think this makes me a
magic. Even when you’re poor. Even when you’re stressed. Even
directionless fool, but there’s something oddly freeing about focusing
when people are ragging on you. Even when you’re so exhausted that
on the moment, instead of trying to project yourself into a constantly
you can’t imagine how you’re going to get through one more hour…
changing future. The world you walk out into when you graduate looks
The thing you love is still there. Sometimes it hangs on by a thread
so different from the one you planned your degree in. When I inter-
so thin you can barely see it, but it’s there.
viewed Norman Kingsbury he said “study the thing that really turns
So fuck all the pressure, fuck the expectations, fuck the economy,
you on because in 5 years’ time you may have found that you have a
fuck the lot of it. Do the thing that you love. Do the thing that you’re
degree in something that people may not want anymore.” A lot can
so passionate about it hurts when you can’t do it. Because you never
happen in five years. How many jobs are going to be created? How
know what’s going to happen- but you can know that you’re doing
many jobs are going to be obsolete? Are you going to be single, are
the right thing.
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LETTUCE
nexus magazine
"Untouched"
Rigged
A SUPPORTIVE LOCAL
DANIEL
Dear R.M.S Tee,
All I do during STMG is the code word, and I swear to
If a Greenie falls down a mine shaft, will it make a sound? Probably, you won't hear the end of their opinion
God it's rigged this week. But yeah, prove me wrong, can you send us the answers.
to be honest. But really though how much research did you do? A quick browse online?
God's Defender
The proposed 2 yr exploratory mine will use an existing underground mine, portal and structures. Leaving local
EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD
flora, fauna and waterways untouched. Isn't it also great how it will benefit the local community with workers employed locally? The Coromandel Peninsula is struggling to grow it's economy because we aren't allowed to do or touch anything for fear of enraging all the city dwellers who want to keep New Zealand "untouched".
I would like to thank Rachael for sharing her beliefs with us in her editorial last week. If I understand correctly her argument is something along these lines. There exist people who believe in God who are
Pull over during your next commute to the concrete
hypocrites.
jungles, walk to the top of one of those magnification
The purpose of life is to drink and get naked.
cliffs and please clear your head.
Therefore there is no God. Or did I miss something? It seems funny that an editorial should begin with the categorical statement that 'there
Disgusted
is no God', then reference Descartes and postulate that actually there is no categorical truth. Also seems funny that she should say this with such conviction when it
B.M GORDON - BOP POLY
seems like she has only a bit of anecdotal evidence to back it up. And do you really believe zombies are more likely than a God? Zombies only have precedence in
Hi, on upon reading your nexus mag v.46 I am disgusted with the language in your "dear aunty slut" section. I understand that the target audience for this article is late teens and early adults but I'm an open minded 20 year old and I am disgusted. This sort of article is great for helping young adults with "sexual" problems but the use of that language is not needed. I hope you take this opinion into consideration when writing future mags.
Offended
content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its
SANDRA
publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.
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chance? I respect your beliefs and your experiences, and can see why you've decided to come to the conclusions you have. I just have a big issue personally accepting that life has no more meaning than to maximise our happiness. I also think that the question of whether there is a God is a very important question that each person you believe there is no God, you choose to say there is
Letters published contain the opinion of publications take no responsibility for the
have a 'just in case' for zombies, but won't give God a
has to answer for themselves. If rather than saying that
DISCLAIMER: the writer and the writer alone. Nexus
fiction, while we have historical accounts of Jesus. You
Some topics in the nexus is offensive yes there is a place for humor but then theres getting into that deep shit like religon .. although it was one persons opinion the amount of people this effected. Shiiiiiiit. Yous are askn fr a riot. Arrogant enough to say theres no god but no arrogant to think theirs aliens ... greeeeeat !
in fact no God, are my beliefs then invalid because of yours? You can't decide that people have the freedom to believe in what they want if you exclude any belief in a deity from their options.
nexus magazine
NEWS INTERNATIONAL CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER
— For those of you who were actually studying and sensibly
civilian) Palestinian lives later, not much has changed.
quarantining(more on which later) yourselves from the news this year, here is a quick recap of some. It's a bit weird
Notable mention goes to Nigeria's Boko Haram terrorist
to be writing with 80 odd days to go in the year and so
group for their sickening indiscriminate massacres and
much potential for novel carnage on the cards,.
April kidnapping of 276 schoolgirls with the intent to sell
Kicking things off, on February 13, presciently predicting the general vibe of news to come this year, Belgium became the first country to legalise child euthanasia.
them, 200 of which are still missing. The main course as far as terror news are the gore artists formerly known as ISIS/ISIL and now called the Islamic State(IS) whose Northern Iraqi offensive has been taking on
On the 22 nd of the same month, hundreds of days of
Kurds, the Iraqi Army and rival militias since June. Hailing
unrest in Ukraine's capital, Kiev, came to a head when
from Iraq and gestating in the depths of the ongoing Syrian
the Ukrainian parliament voted to boot out Russia-friendly
Civil War, radicaler-than-thou IS, lead by self-proclaimed
President Viktor Yanukovych, eventually replacing him with
caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi made a name for itself mus-
oligarch chocolatier Petro Poroshenko. Tom Clancy dweebs
cling out other Islamist militias like Al Qaeda affiliated
have been thrilled since the Russians seized Crimea from
Jabhat al-Nusra. Taking in battle-hardened Chechen fight-
Ukraine in late February. Since then the international audi-
ers, misfits who can be fitted for a suicide vest and anyone
ence has been titilated with nuke-stalgia in a tit-for-tat of
in between, IS has heaped more suffering on an already
sanctions and condemnations between Russia and Western
fucked region and captured the hysterical imagination of
powers. Meanwhile, people in Eastern Ukraine watched the
the international media, lately dominating news-cycles
depressing spectacle of their society being torn apart by
with their morbidly honed take on the telethon - threat-
foriegn-backed internecine warfare. They’ve seen a mildly
ening to kill captured western aid workers and journalists
deadly truce since September 5th.
by beheading, and then doing it, one by one. The western response to this medieval, albeit media savvy, threat is a
The next big story is Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. If you
19th century-style imperial slap-down. The Americans, who
somehow missed this, a big plane and all it's passengers
brutalised some of the IS core cadre in Abu Ghraib prison is
are missing since March 8. En route from Kuala Lumpur to
currently leading a coalition of equally tarnished Arab allies
Beijing the Boeing 777 carrying 12 crew and 227 passen-
in an open-ended military campaign against IS. Our SAS
gers was originally thought to have gone down somewhere
might follow the Aussies into the fray, with unpredictable
in the South China Sea. This was the worst accident ever
consequences.
involving a Malaysia Airlines plane or Boeing 777... Until 131 days later when the same type of plane operated by
Lastly, Ebola has killed somewhere over three thousand
the same airline was shot down over the battle zone in
people in its worst ever outbreak since its discovery in 1976.
Ukraine. Searches in the Gulf of Thailand, the South China
The epidemic originating in Guinea has spread through
Sea and then the Strait of Malacca and Adaman Sea proved
West Africa and most recently lead to a confirmed case
fruitless and experts concluded that the plane had actually
in Spain and one fatality in the USA. The WHO calls it the
flown considerably off course and wound up in the Southern
"most severe acute public health emergency seen in modern
Indian Ocean off Western Australia. The lack of any trace
times" and Medecins Sans Frontieres, one of the primary
of the plane thus far, despite the record-breaking scale of
groups working to contain it, has been critical of the lack of
the search coupled with the fact that airliners attract con-
urgency in the international response. Its imminent spread
spiracy theories, has given rise to numerous weird ideas
to the First World will hopefully be the shot in the arm that
about what happened.
response needs.
The third stand out story of the year so far is terrorism. In
Also, in not-news this year: the hands of the financial
July Israel launched its periodic invasion of Gaza, this time
doomsday clock continue to spin back around to midnight,
named Operation Protective Edge by an IDF PR person who
Germany wins at soccer, Scotland part of the UK.
clearly wish they worked for a toothpaste company. The Invasion lead to the routine, tempered reaction from international diplomats juxtaposed against mass protests in cities around the world. 66 Israeli and over 2000(overwhelmingly
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nexus magazine
LOCAL NEWS REVIEW
STUDENT SARA LEMME
SARA LEMME
—
— FLUORIDE BACK IN WATER Fluoride was a big huge, fucking massive deal in Hamilton this year, for some reasons that weren’t entirely scientific but perhaps arguably rights-based. The council had decided to review water fluoridation in the Hamilton water supply in 2012, and stopped fluoridation in June 2013 pending non-binding referendum that took place during the local elections last year. The results were overwhelmingly in favour of fluoridating the water but it’s not certain if this was due to indifference, fear of change, or a really good campaign by the Waikato DHB.
The year 2014 was a great one to be a student. Assuming of course that as a student you still lived at home in your parent’s country estate, had no student loan, no need for a job or central heating and were doing that philosophy degree because you really just wanted to search for knowledge. If however you were a regular student having to hold down one or more minimum wage jobs to keep the lights on in your crappy
The council deferred their decision until a High Court decision came through this year in which another local council was found to be within their rights to fluoridate the water. The council began the process of fluoridation in June this year.
LEGAL HIGHS BANNED
“...MINIMUM WAGE JOBS TO KEEP THE LIGHTS ON IN YOUR CRAPPY KNIGHTON ROAD FLAT WHILE BEING BURDENED WITH LIFELONG DEBT...”
Pressure from anti-legal high advocates, Hamilton residents and local politicians (along with a campaign by the Waikato Times) managed to have all 6 of the city’s legal high retailers shut down and banned from selling them in March this year. Under the Psychoactive Substances Act 2013, local councils, through policy, can regulate where legal highs can be sold. Hamilton City Council, using specific and intentional wording, effectively made it impossible for the retailers to meet the criteria forcing them to shut down, and applications to sell won’t be able to be made until mid-way through next year. The legal high industry was worth around $30 million a year, but also saw the mental and physical health of a number of people rapidly decline with the regular ongoing use of the substances.
Knighton Road flat while being burdened with lifelong debt then it probably wasn’t a great year for you. The only comfort you can take is that you’re probably not over 45 because they are really getting fucked by student allowance changes. It also wasn’t a great year for student representation. NZUSA is facing more membership withdrawal while our own board warranted its own news section. Perhaps the only beacon of light in the whole thing is SJS which not only managed successful constitutional change without any major protest but has continued to deliver jobs
Lest we forget: That some businessman called Hugh Speirs has promised to construct us a motherfucking $10 million ice skating rink next year. When our beloved lake, Lake Rotoroa, was deemed too toxic for animals and tiny humans to go anywhere near back in May. bless.
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for students.
nexus magazine
WSU NEWS REVIEW SARA LEMME
— Our dearest Waikato Student’s Union has had a rough
indifferent non-Maori students voted on Maori rep-
ride this year. The cracks started to show by the end
resentation that day.
of semester A, with then VP Maori Andrew “Simba” Marama-Lyon handing in his resignation, effective “whenever Aaron wants” and going off to explore the world of mediocre nz hip-hop videos. Simba’s resignation, and the continuation of what
not stop word of what happened there getting out afterwards; and so, the messiest A.G.M in recent history took place.
has become a tradition of VP Maori resignation before
With an hour slot to get everything done, the board
completing a term, brought the general issue of Maori
was not in a position to handle the onslaught of dis-
representation on campus, on to the agenda.
enfranchised and passionate opinions that arrived.
The WSU board appointed a new VP Maori, Steffen
The Annual report passed, but that was followed by
Van Lieshout, who did a great job under the circum-
debate over whether the consultation process was
stances. Ropu groups on campus,who represent
adequate regarding Maori representation and the
a fairly large portion of Maori students, were then
withdrawal from NZUSA. When it came to passing
involved in discussions surrounding the role of the
the minutes of the S.G.M, the whole A.G.M fell apart,
VP Maori and decided on 4 options for how to go
with students contesting the accuracy of the min-
forward with Maori representation, to be put to a vote
utes and asking for amendments. No agreement was
at an S.G.M.
reached and there was no time to pass the annual
The WSU contended that there was adequate
ENVIRONMENTAL NEWS REVIEW
Unfortunately for them, all the best efforts to not consult students adequately before the S.G.M, could
plan or the budget.
consultation for the S.G.M, while disgruntled Maori
A second A.G.M is scheduled for this week, and if
students who attended vehemently claimed there
this week sees a failure to successfully pass A.G.M
was not. The only email sent to members was a
business, it would be considered a vote of no confi-
notice that the S.G.M was occurring- no mention of
dence in the current board
the gravity of what was being decided on. The S.G.M
The election was a bit of a joke, with both sides
SARA LEMME
itself was pretty much a bunch of non-Maori students
taking themselves too seriously. It’s great people give
—
fiending for free beer and pizza while about 4 Maori
a fuck, it would be better if it was focussed more on
Look back into all news relating to the environment, one person comes to mind, Simon. Fucking. Bridges. Bridges, the Minister of Energy and Resources and associate Minister of Climate Change Issues, won his electorate in Tauranga and has also been promoted to the front bench, despite the fact that he clearly doesn’t know what he is fucking doing, ever. Bridges was heavily criticised this year when it was confirmed that he had signed off a block offer which involved the
students raised concerns about the consultation pro-
the important stuff, like putting effort into consulting
cess. A walk out of quite a number of Maori students
Maori students across campus rather than a single
occurred but their presence was still counted in quo-
group that purports to represent them.
rum and all motions were passed- the 4th option, that
Kudos does need to be given to Aaron, though. He
the VP Maori candidate be endorsed by Maori groups,
got us a van to keep all you intoxicated first years
won the vote. Only Aaron spoke. The VP Maori and Ropu mem-
safe during your O-week adventures, and if the Maori VP issue is not resolved well at this week’s second
bers did not have the opportunity to inform the
attempt at an A.G.M…well then the van might just
majority non-Maori student S.G.M gathering of
be the only positive aspect of his legacy.
their perspective. Inadequately informed and largely
opening up of DOCs largest forest park (Victoria Forest Park) for oil and gas exploration: a park DOC describes as untouched. The criticism mostly came from the fact that Bridges, Minister of Energy and Resources, admitted he had no fucking clue where the park was… That’s right- zero idea where the biggest forest park in the country was… true story. Then not even a week after the International Whaling Commission urged the government to do more to protect the Maui Dolphin species, of which there are reportedly only 55 left, Bridges signed off another block offer- 3000 square kms of marine mammal sanctuary, for oil and gas exploration, which included the home of the Maui Dolphins. "I think primarily once you go from exploration right through to production, you're not jeopardising the wildlife," said Bridges. Why does he exist? Can anyone explain his existence?
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nexus magazine
NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY
INFO SESSION IN OCTOBER —
POSTGRADUATE INFO SESSION THIS WEEK — Are you considering postgraduate research? As part of
If you would like to talk to someone about your study options for this summer or for next year, come along to our info session on 15 October from 2-6pm in the Student Centre. Recruitment staff will be on hand to answer any questions about study at the University of Waikato, and Faculty staff will be available to help with programme planning. For a list of all info sessions happening in October, please check out www. waikato.ac.nz/study/information-sessions.shtml
Postgraduate Month, you are invited to attend our drop-in information session where you will be able to discuss masters research and doctoral programmes with University postgraduate staff. The info session is on Wednesday 15 October from 1.15-1.45pm in S.G.01 on the Hamilton campus. For more information, visit www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/postgraduate/postgraduatemonth.shtml
B SEMESTER EXAM TIMETABLE —
CAMPUS FUN RUN SERIES MONDAY NIGHTS
The 2014 B Semester Examination Timetable is now available. Please check the Examination Timetable carefully to make sure you have the correct room, time and date for your exam. You can check the timetable now by visiting timetable.waikato.ac.nz/ exams. For further enquiries please email exams@waikato. ac.nz or phone 07 838 4466 extn 8018.
—
Tauranga students – if you are enrolled in Bay of Plenty
The Campus 5km Fun Run and Walk is on every Monday night until 15 December and then again from early 2015. Registrations start at 5pm outside Momento Café on the Village Green. Walkers start between 5pm and 6pm, while runners start at 6pm. Registration is $6 which entitles participants to a free beer, cider or non-alcoholic drink at the end. Spot prizes are also awarded on the night. The Campus 5km Fun Run and Walk is in association with the Hamilton City Hawks running club, UniRec, Momento Café and Good George. For more information email unipr@waikato.ac.nz
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REDUCING EXAM ANXIETY WORKSHOPS — The Counselling service is offering practical-based, one-hour workshops to assist you in developing skills and behaviours to reduce anxiety prior to and during
Polytechnic papers and are worried about clashes with your University of Waikato exams, please contact Anne-Marie Kell, DT419A, Level 4, Bongard Centre or on 07 571 0190 extn 5158 or at amkell@waikato.ac.nz
GIVE BLOOD ON CAMPUS —
examinations. Hamilton: 15 October 1-2pm in K.3.20, and 16 October 1-2pm in I. 1.10. Tauranga: 15 October
NZ Blood’s Mobile Blood Collection Unit will be at UniRec this
9.30-10.30am in V124/5 Windermere, 11am-12pm in
week until Thursday 16 October, 10am-2.30pm each day. Drop-ins
V124/5 Windermere, 1-2pm in DT222 Bongard, and
are welcome, but it’s best to make an appointment beforehand –
2.30-3.30pm in DT222 Bongard. Numbers are limited
you can do this by calling 0800 448 325 or visiting www.nzblood.
so registration is essential. To register please contact
co.nz and clicking ‘Book Appointment Now’. Don’t forget to bring
Maria Reynolds at mariar@waikato.ac.nz
your ID and have something to eat and drink before you donate.
nexus magazine
AFL GRAND WHY THE MLB PLAYOFFS MAKE FOR GREAT VIEWING SPORTS GUY - OPINION
— The Major League Baseball playoffs kicked off at the start of this month and have already thrown up a few surprises; but this is why I love postseason sports. Take the matchup between the Kansas City Royals and the LA Angels, who had the best regular season record in baseball. Arguably the best team in the playoffs against one of the rank outsiders, and the outsiders take a com-
SPORTS TO TRY OVER SUMMER SPORTS GUY
— Why try a sport over summer? Because the sun shines and you should be outside, that’s why. Not to mention the enjoyment factor and that sports are just the best. Here are some sports worth having a go at.
manding 2-0 lead in the series behind some of the best defensive play you could see.
Golf: No, golf is not just a sport for retired old men. It’s actually one of the best sports there is to make the most
Then take the first game of the matchup between the LA Dodgers and the St Louis Cardinals. The teams themselves are very evenly matched so this series was heavily dependent on the pitching matchups. The first game gave LA a handy advantage, with Clayton Kershaw on the mound. Kershaw, who had an ERA of 1.77 and
of the sunshine. There’s nothing better than gathering a few mates, getting a couple of beers and going out for a round. Even if you aren’t good at golf, it’s still a super enjoyable outing if you’re with the right people. The exercise you get from it is good too, walking around for 3 hours and swinging the club a number of times per hole.
a record of 21-3, was borderline unbeatable at Dodger Stadium and gave the Dodgers a big favourites tag, yet
Tennis: Tennis is a hella good activity if you want to work
the Cardinals’ bats fired and they left the first game with
up a sweat because it involves a bunch of running and
a 1-0 lead.
smashing a ball across the court. You can work on your tan during a game of tennis, as, unlike on the golf course,
If you’ve ever wanted to get into baseball, now would be
there’s no real dress code – just be sure to wear shoes.
a perfect time to start watching. Unhittable pitchers are giving up 5+ runs per game, teams full of contact hitters
Beach Volleyball: This one requires a bit of set up, but
are crushing the long-ball and defensive plays are win-
once you’ve got the net up you can spend the entire day
ning games. Upsets happen on a regular occasion, and
at the beach going from sunbathing to playing volleyball
this year, even the rank outsiders are a chance of making
to swimming and repeat. It’s a good fun game that can
the World Series.
become a drinking game if you’re creative enough and want to get a summer time drink on. Whatever you do, don’t sit on your ass inside the house over summer. Get out and enjoy the weather in one way
PHOTOGRAPH: ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS
or another.
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RIDICULIST
VOX POPS
Summer Edition
Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.
1 Tan Lines Halter top? Singlet? Crochet beach-bum shirt? Indecisive tan lines.
Sammie, Law. What are you doing this summer? Working and summer school. One of your favourite summer memories? I think my best New Years was at the casino... I'm that person who always ends up looking after all the really drunk people otherwise! Is cheating ever okay? No.
2 Work You can’t work in this weather!
Scott, Political Science. What are you doing this summer? Work work work work - I'm sav-
3 Lack of Funds So many festivals, so little cash.
4 Traffic Only cool people should come to the beach. Those Jafas should stop causing trouble for us Waicats.
ing for an OE. One of your favourite summer memories? Probably camping with the family. Is cheating ever okay? No. I can't think of a reason where it would be.
Zeta, Media and Creative Tech. What are you doing this summer? Working. It's so sad. One of your favourite summer memories? The last Big Day Out, the line up was really good. Is cheating ever okay? No. It's not okay.
5 Body-shaming You know how you get a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body! Now you have a bikini body. #fuckbodyshaming
Jim, Management. What are you doing this summer? Working. Maybe R&V. One of your favourite summer memories? Alcohol poisoning first night at R&V. Is
6
cheating ever okay? I dunno... I think it could be justified.
Broken Jandals I don’t care what you say- that bread tag isn’t going to work for more than 30 seconds. Amy, STA.
7 Sweaty Asses Is there anything worse than peeling yourself off a seat? Yes. Looking at the puddle you leave behind.
8 Sunburnt Toes The worst body part to have sunburnt, followed closely by the backs of the knees, the nipples and the scalp.
What are you doing this summer? I have 3 options: Queenstown, Northern Base, or Whitianga. One of your favourite summer memories? Driving round Spain in a van for a month. Is cheating ever okay? It's not okay.
Anna, STA. What are you doing this summer? Going to Bali next month if that counts?! One of your favourite summer memories? Vegas last summer. I got married up there so it was pretty cool. Is cheating ever okay? No.
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nexus magazine
Gone Girl
Dracula Untold
FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON
FILM REVIEW BY DARCIE
Ben Affleck is a bloody awful actor. It takes a really bottom-of-the-
Dracula Untold is the most recent attempt to bring a vampire movie
barrel screenplay to demonstrate just quite how awful. Gone Girl
to the big screens. But there’s none of that twilight vampire shit,
delivers this in spades, exposing Affleck's expressive shortcomings
this is the ‘traditional vampire’. The story centres Vlad Tepes, or Vlad
for an interminable two and a half hours. Playing Nick Dunne, a none- the Impaler, who is apparently the inspiration behind Bram Stokers too-bright bar owner suspected of killing his missing wife, Affleck
Dracula. In the movie, Vlad is faced with a threat to his people,
engenders not an iota of audience sympathy. As Dunne's behaviour
including his family, so he takes a risk by seeking help from a cursed
declines so too does the calibre of the acting, Ben's one-note smug-
supernatural being – a vampire. Although what Vlad is offered is power
ness proving inadequate even by the low standards of melodrama. For all that a more essential problem is the miscasting of the British
beyond his belief, there is also a potentially worse consequence should he fail to control himself.
actress Rosamund Pike. The role of Mrs Dunne, a classic femme
I really liked Luke Evans in this part; I think he became the character
fatale, would have been perfect for Bette Davis or Joan Crawford
well. It was also cool seeing Charles Dance (Tywin Lannister) being
in their prime and could well have been played by Ashley Judd ten
his awesome self, he was both fascinating and disturbing as the origi-
years ago. Pike tries hard but is just too genteel and the ludicrous plot
nal vampire. I liked all the other actors as well, whether minors or
twists do her no favours.
mains, I liked their characters.
An old fashioned film noir spiced up with a particularly brutal killing,
The story itself was good and it progressed fairly nicely. This movie
in-your-face sex scenes and some dialogue that sounds like it's come
was quite visually impressive; the special effects were well done,
out of a cheap porno novel, Gone Girl is something of a career nadir
the colouring throughout the movie was fitting to the context and
for the once cutting-edge director David Fincher. Earlier Fincher thrill- they had particular shots with quite spectacular backgrounds. It was ers have held their length impressively but here the pacing is well off,
definitely appealing. The only thing I was confused about throughout
especially in the third act. The last ten to fifteen minutes add nothing
the movie was how a single being can turn into a dozen or so bats,
whatsoever either to character development or the story line. Script
but it looked cool, so who really cares! A good movie if you are into
writer Gillian Flynn, adapting her own novel, is clearly new to the
those dark action types that are hauntingly fascinating.
medium and drags everyone else down with her.
11
nexus magazine
Hip Flask 2
Ant Wars
ALBUM REVIEW BY HP
ALBUM REVIEW BY HP
Movies and music are different. Oh and yes, that IS me being insight- Tauranga Music Sux. That’s not a reflection on the musicians in ful. The reason I wished to bring this to your attention is that sequels
Tauranga, it is simply the name of the collective of young bands
to films normally underperform the original, i.e., they suck. But
playing heavy guitars, drinking their DIY efforts and smashing out
here, in little old Aotearoa, Tenor Saxophonist Roger Mannins has
ridiculously good songs. And Tauranga (well Mount Maunganui if you
put together his second jazz master class under his quintet banner, want to get specific) rock band Ant Wars is no exception. Their Demo/ Hipflask and showing HIS level of insightfulness has named it, 2. As
EP is a firecracker of menace and choruses and can be downloaded
a sequel to the 2001 recorded, 2005 released Hipflask 1, this album
from their bandcamp page for all of about $7.
shows growth, depth and although there is no liquid-metal termina-
Opening track, Sunshine, shows off big chunky rhythms courtesy of
tor in this sequel, the fluidity of this jazz has the T-1000 as a suitable
dual guitars and, unsurprisingly, a pumping rhythm section. Vocalist
metaphor.
Kaine Harkins belts across the low-fi production and with the catchy
Opening with the elegantly smooth, Droop Blues, Mannins is
hooks of songs like Piece of Cake, it’s hard not to (badly) belt along
searching and seeking on his sax being supported by splashing
with him. Lead guitarist, Aaron Cutforth, fills the sound out with spi-
drums and buoyant bass. The song’s eight or so minutes manage to
ralling guitar leads. This adds intricate layering over the grunt of this
make extended rests and rhythmic breaks flow. It sets up the gentler
rock machine.
Shallow Steve with Stu Hunter traversing the Hammond C3 Organ
It’s a shame the production quality is pretty poor here and drums
with great speed. Not to be outdone, Pianist Adam Ponting’s spry
sound like they’ve been recorded down the road from the rest of the
fingers add electricity and life to the album.
band, because it will put some off. It shouldn’t. These six songs serve
The quintet holds up pillars of togetherness that allow the kind of
as a short sampling of the sort of sound and strength these lads can
structure for each one of them to stroll into their own. On tracks like
deliver live. With clear songwriting skills, it will be exciting to see this
Revolution, that structure also plays out as the theme for the tune,
band delve into new sonics and changes in tone while retaining their
other numbers; it feels more like collecting enough strands to weave,
big choruses. Check them out next time they head over the hill , hear
only for each end to be frayed and unique. But with Mannins at the
the songs fill out on stage and don’t believe them when they tell you
helm and cohesion across the tracks, this stands out as an exciting
Tauranga Music Sux.
and polished performance.
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nexus magazine
Bogan: An Insider’s Guide to Metal, Mullets and Mayhem
FTL: Faster Than Light GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT
BOOK REVIEW BY DR DAVE SNELL A sci-fi spaceship based computer game funded through Kickstarter It’s common when you get into post grad study, that people feign interest when you talk about it, while not understanding (or giving a shit) about a word. Dr Bogan has transcended this problem neatly with his book. While it’s full of the things he learned researching his doctorate, it’s in no way dry or boring. I could be biased here, as some would argue I have a few bogan tendencies, but I think the book appeals to a much larger audience than found at a bogan house party. The thing I love most about this book is the interviews. While some generalisations are made about what exactly a bogan is (love of hard rock, heavy metal, and matte black cars), the wide variety of people interviewed demonstrates that the term bogan is actually pretty fluid. The characters in Bogan (and they are definitely characters) make for some laugh out loud moments. I loved seeing people who helped shape my first years at university feature- especially Uncle Chopper who, on more than one occasion, protected us boganettes from the more undesirable humans occasionally found in town on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday… or Wednesday night. Bogan is an easy read and it captures the laid-back nature of kiwi speech. It’s obviously written by someone who knows their shit, but hasn’t lost their sense of humour- which I think pretty much describes bogans in general. Two metal horns all the way up \m/ \m/
– that’s got to be terrible, right? Well, maybe not. It’s got fairly oldschool looking graphics, sure, but that adds to the charm of the game in my view. Just like old-school games there’s a really hard end boss. The likelihood of winning this game is pretty low, somewhere around 10% or so. Don’t let that stop you, since the point of it is to keep trying. And trying. And trying. Unlocking stronger ships means both increased odds for survival, and greater variation on gameplay. Unfortunately, some of the methods for unlocking the ships rely on the game’s random generations of the different sectors to be in your favour, otherwise you’ll need to keep playing again. Which, as said, isn’t so bad since the game is pretty fun. You’ll have all manner of weapons at your disposal, from lasers to missiles to teleporters that you can use to assault enemy ships. One of the key strategies in defending against a boarding party is to cram your crew into the Med Bay and open all the airlocks… As you progress from sector to sector, the enemies get harder, but there are plenty of chances for collecting stronger weapons and ship’s subsystems (cloaking devices for example) plus you get to make all the philosophical decisions you could hope for (will you send your crew to fight the gigantic alien spiders? What if someone dies? Will you be rewarded?). It’s almost like being a real captain!
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PHOTOGRAPH: DINOSAUR TOAST
nexus magazine
HØNEST MATT MEETS CHESHIRE GRIMM Honest Matt Matt Hicks
Matt Hicks has a chat to Lora Thompson and Kat Waswo from exciting
emotion. I consider myself a fairly positive person by nature, but it’s the
Hamilton alt rockers Cheshire Grimm (who have been very busy of late
beauty in melancholy that I think most artists want to try and capture. I’m
having just completed a North Island tour and also about to release
also a big fan of simplicity, and I love the challenge of trying to construct a
their debut video for the single ‘ROT’).
song that has a powerful message but is not too ranty.
So tell us how you guys first meet and got to this stage of making
Kat Waswo: The music industry here is sparse and fickle – it takes A LOT of
music together? Lora Thompson: Kat & I were introduced through mutual
hard work and stroke of good-luck to make your “big break”. Also, we don’t
friends. I was in between bands and she played some of her songs at a party
fit into any of the genre boxes so it’s hard for us to find compatible sounding
one night and I was blown away by her amazing voice and bass playing, so
bands to gig with.
I decided to hit her up. Dan is her brother-in-law, and she suggested him
What do you think of the current state of the Hamilton music scene?
as our drummer. We had a couple of jams & it came together quite easily
Lora Thompson: Hamilton has always been a town for covers bands. I really
from there. Kat Waswo: Hamilton is small (…. and crusty). Lora and I met through my flat mates at the time, and Dan is the partner of my younger sister. So
appreciate & admire how far our good friends Devilskin have gone to put Hamilton on the map – there is so much unrecognized original talent here. If only more venues would actually support it.
he’s like my crusty little brother. It all just randomly came together after Lora
Kat Waswo: What Hamilton music scene? It has died off like a parasite
forced me to play something on her guitar at a party. I only knew how to play
that’s been sprayed by the John Lawrenson Machine. We are now limited
my original songs via bass line. It was shoddy. But she liked them. And Dan
to two live venue bars that don’t charge for gigs, otherwise its pretty much
was band-less at the time – and is an amazing musician, so he was keen to “only cover bands allowed” or pay $300 per gig. There’s a giant creative comjump into the project when I put it to him and I was stoked!
munity of talented musicians in this city, but the sub-cultures of the nightlife
What artist’s/bands/things inspire/influence the members of
don’t go out anymore. So there’s no potential audience (mainstream kids
Cheshire Grimm? Lora Thompson: Alice in Wonderland, NiN, Queens of the
just go straight to the DJ bars), and there’s nowhere for them to play. We
Stone Age, Pink Floyd, Alice in Chains, there are so many more I can’t think
need to start fresh.
of . . . we recently covered Royal Blood’s ‘Little Monster’, loving that jam. Kat Waswo: Song-writing wise, I am most inspired when I’m emotionally captivated by something. And for the most part – it’s usually a negative
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More at sounzgood.co.nz
Do you ever worry that nobody likes you? Tolerance. Tolerance is the word people use when they speak of you. How does that make you feel? Maybe you should’ve offered that last piece of cake to the room before scoffing it the same way you move through life; tastelessly.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Planning to leave the past behind and move on for good? Finally! Please note; moving on comes from forgiveness and peace within, not a one-way ticket to London because it’s the furthest you can physically get. Also, the UK visa is a cop out for boring people who don’t know what they want. #truth
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Boy Taurus, you sure are seeing Red. It's clear you’ve had it with this bull. If someone wants to argue with you on this point, just show him or her your horns. It’s your last horoscope of the year and I made sure it was the most painful… and unforget-a-bull.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Pick up your pencil case, get out your pens, and get down to work. Things have a habit of working out in the end. They either work out good, or they work out bad…but regardless this problem will be replaced by another soon enough.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
HOROSCOPES
Full steam ahead! Summer is approaching like a midnight train of terror. It’s time to lock down those holiday jobs and throw every spare penny into your “future beach house” fund. At this rate you’ll be in good stead come 2050! At which point you could have been dead for years. Yay summer!
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Stay classy, Libra. If we’ve learnt anything in 2014, it’s that in times of stress and fatigue you know how to prioritise your physical appearance above all else. Some may see this as a weakness, but we both know it’s a CV worthy strength – fake it till you make it, bitches.
You were a bitch at the beginning of the year, and you’re still a bitch now. The only thing left to do is frame someone for an imaginary crime, dye your hair a mousey brown, wear glasses, and live in a caravan park… ooh should this horoscope have come with a spoiler alert?
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Fly free young one, there is no need for you to linger. Take only the necessities and hop on that bus out of this nowhere town. Be finance savvy though, if you have to do the walk of shame all the way back to Hamilton your parents lose their neighbourhood boasting rights.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Don’t fuck with me Capricorn, I’m 9 horoscopes deep and my usual pleasant good will is waning. Just in general, people have been complaining about your complaining lately, so unless you’re showing some gumption sometime soon just zip it and learn to go with the flow. Peace, love, and forced positivity.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
What does being a Virgo mean? This week it means that you are a slut. What does being a slut mean? Nothing. As human beings living in the free world of the 21st century, who you screw is your business and your business only. So yeah, have a banging week.
“Yeah nah” be your mantra, “Yeah nah” be your downfall. If you can’t commit to one or the other perhaps you should piss off. Or carry on flipflopping and watch the years curl up and burn as you never get anywhere half decent. Maybe move to the UK. Yeah nah.
Every week I’ve wanted to paste the lyrics to Katy Perry’s Roar in place of your horoscope little Leos, but I have withheld. In the same vein, you should exercise utmost restraint this week; some of the wonderful things you are passionate about are to others mere bubble-gum pop.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
nexus magazine
R&V Playlist BEATS BY J
Danny Brown / Grown Up
Grown Up
Netsky / 2 Deluxe
Love Has Gone
MØ / Diplo / No Mythologies to Follow
XXX 88
Chet Faker / Built On Glass
Talk Is Cheap
Etc! Etc! / Brillz / Diplo
Bueller
PNC / P.Digsss / The Codes
Ride
Mr. Carmack / Jeffree's Vol. 8 Birth Control
Shapeshifter / Delta Monarch
Action Bronson / SAAAB Stories Strictly 4 My Jeeps
Just Blaze / Baauer / JAY Z Higher
Bastille / All This Bad Blood Of The Night
Peking Duk / Nicole Millar
High
Addison / DJ-KiCKS
Footcrab
Follow nexusmagazine on Spotifiy.
15
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2014: A RETROSPECTIVE Auteur Dr Richard Swainson
2014 saw the last of a distressing amount of movie stars. With the
getting any busier and the preferred mode of cinema delivery has become
deaths of Mickey Rooney, Shirley Temple and Joan Fontaine the world lost
the download, legal or otherwise.
some of the few remaining links to the 1930s golden age of Hollywood.
If our future is uncertain, the art form which we celebrate is in good health.
The demise of Lauren Bacall ended a career which dated back to 1944, one
I sense that 2014 will be remembered most for one truly outstanding film
forever associated with that of the actress' iconic first husband, Humphrey
whose production process was unique. Boyhood was shot in only 45 days
Bogart. 1950s cinema lost James Garner and Eli Wallach whilst the African
but that shoot was spread over 12 years. Less stunt than revelation, the
American community mourned the passing of ground breaking actresses
result is a coming of age tale like no other, with actors aging at the same
Ruby Dee and Juanita Moore. British cinema lost its godfather when actor,
rate as the characters they are playing.
producer and director Richard Attenborough died in August. For tragedy
Other cinematic gems were enjoyed in the International Film Festival. For
though nothing could top three premature fatalities: Bob Hoskins, Philip
those who can stand slowish pace, rich characterisation and dense dialogue
Seymour Hoffman and Robin Williams.
the Turkish epic Winter Sleep, the tale of a wealthy former actor's mid-life
The longest known movie career, that of Carla Laemmle, niece of Universal
night feature, the hilarious Argentinian black comedy Wild Tales, a series of
June. Carla made her debut in the 1925 version of The Phantom of the Opera
short episodes on the theme of revenge.
and featured in two 2014 features. With Mickey Rooney's and Laemmle's
Contemporary auteurs Wes Anderson, Darren Aronofsky and John Michael
deaths there are only 13 known acting survivors of the silent era. Of equal
McDonagh also delivered in 2014. The Grand Budapest Hotel is my favourite
trainspotting significance was the loss of Wizard of Oz munchkin Ruth
film of the year so far, yet another stylistic triumph for Anderson, whilst
Robinson Duccini. Only one of those little people are now still with us:
Aronofsky's Noah and McDonagh's Calvary were powerful religious polem-
Lollipop Guild member Jerry Maren.
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crisis, was an intellectual delight. Less serious was the Festival's closing
studio founder Carl Laemmle, concluded with remarkably little fanfare in
ics that posed serious questions. Let us not forget either how excellent the
The tone of the Auteur House column has in many ways been set by all
year has been on the home front: with What We Do in the Shadows, The
this bad news. Cynics might suggest that the seemingly endless obituar-
Dark Horse and Housebound the future of the New Zealand film industry
ies reflected the slow death of the DVD rental industry itself. We are not
looks bright.
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nexus magazine
WHY DID YOU FUCK ME AND LEAVE??? Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf
I’m instinctively drawn to 1950’s visuals and illustrations. Janet
We Go to the Gallery. It’s identical in every stylistic way to the original
and John readers and all that stuff. Love them.
format, right down to the graphics, the only difference being the narra-
It’s Oedipal, I think; wanting to return to the womb and some prenatal
tive. It’s obviously for adult consumption, but even one or two adults
foetal position. Freud would have a field day. The forms have a charm-
might blanch at the content. Example. The first story has Mummy and
ing retro look and the colours possess those washed out reds and
Peter in the gallery, standing in front of a big canvas on which is painted
yellows that speak to an age that seemed more safe, sheltered and
a very large vagina. The text reads: Peter sees the big vagina. “That’s a
somehow more secure. It’s all very primal and wanting to go back to
big vagina,” says Peter. “Big vaginas are feminist,” says Mummy. Peter
the Garden of Eden or life on the farm.
is scared.
The reason I bring this up is that a kindly friend recently sent me a
This is obviously satirizing all those artist sisters from the Eighties and
web link that fused my two favourite things – Fifties aesthetics and
Nineties, people like Sarah Lucas, who went on about the male gaze,
“...REPLACING THE LADYBIRD LOGO WITH THAT OF A DUNG BEETLE, THEN WAITED FOR THE UK TO CHANGE THE COPYRIGHT LAWS TO INTRODUCE A FAIR DEALING EXCEPTION FOR SATIRE AND PARODY.”
contemporary art; or more precisely, some clever intellectualizing
attempting to subvert it in quite a crude fashion. I won’t go into details.
observations about postmodern art in a satirical laugh out loud for-
The people at Penguin were not amused. Certain feathers were
mat. It picks up on some current obsessions that the art fraternity are
ruffled and writs were issued that saw Miriam Elia charged with breach
engaged with and mercilessly takes the piss. You sort of need to know
of copyright and threatened with the seizure of her books for pulping.
a bit of art history to get the joke, but first a little backstory.
Not to be outdone, the plucky artist reissued the book, replacing
Miriam Elia is a young London artist who trained at the Royal College
the Ladybird logo with that of a dung beetle, then waited for the UK
of Art. She’s also a comedian. It’s a rare but wonderful combination.
to change the copyright laws to introduce a fair dealing exception for
Not too long ago she created a spoof version of the Ladybird books,
satire and parody.
those small but perfectly formed British children’s readers we all came
Other narratives in the story deal with deep existential questions -
to love and adore. The Fifties version portrays the daily lives of Mummy,
the death of God and the death of meaning, beloved of Nietzsche and
Peter and Jane whose banal stories served as an introduction to read-
Derrida, with a supporting cast of artists including Tracey Emin, Jeff
ing and writing.
Koons and others.
Miriam has rewritten and re-illustrated her version which is called
Clever in every way.
17
nexus magazine
Oh The Drugs You’ll Take JAMES RAFFAN
With the Big Day Out once again disappearing into the ether the 14/15 Summer will be an interesting one for big concerts. In many ways Rhythm and Vines seems the obvious and certainly the most promoted of the big gigs but Festivals are about individual choices and each concert has some pros and cons so we thought we would devote some pages to helping you make the only real decision of your summer. Are Festivals For You?
at a music festival then make sure you choose wisely.
The first question you have to ask yourself is are you
A week at the wrong place, with the wrong music and
even the “Summer Festival” type? There is a pretty
it will seem like an eternity. So pack up the glow sticks,
simple checklist:
air out the tent and wash out the bong. An epic sum-
Do you like live music?
mer concert awaits...
Do you have friends that like live music?
Rhythm & Vines / Alps 29-31st December
Do you take an excessive amount of drugs and have
R&V is the big name on the summer festival scene and
conversations with random strangers?
it is hardly a surprise. Acts like Chet Faker, Flume and
If the answer to two or more of these questions is yes
Bastille join BBC Radio One’s Kiwi DJ Zane Lowe and
“YOU NEVER WANT TO BE BUYING FROM A DEALER AT A FESTIVAL... UNLESS IT’S PARACHUTE, THOSE GUYS ARE THE MOST HONEST DRUG DEALERS YOU WILL MEET.”
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then odds are you are probably perfect for the sum-
local act Shapeshifter as headliners. For a cool $395
mer music scene. There is no shame in the alternative
you can pick up tickets to R&V and BW which sounds
though. Some of the best summers have been spent
like a lot. For those of you that fancy New Years in
laying by a beach doing nothing or going on a big OE. In
Gisborne then be smart about it. Go with a few friends,
fact some of us have plans to spend most of our sum-
don’t over do it and make sure you hydrate. It’s R&V so
mer locked in a dimly lit apartment drinking V Gnarly
make sure if you are taking drugs and drinking you are
and getting beaten at the new Call of Duty by a bunch
bringing your own. You never want to be buying from a
of pre-teen prodigies from some developing country
dealer at a festival... unless it’s Parachute, those guys
on X-Box One. At the end of the day summer is yours
are the most honest drug dealers you will meet.
to de-stress and unwind before you come back for
Homegrown 7th March
another year. However you choose to do that is up to
For those of you who like your music and drugs to give
you but if you do decide to spend a few days in a tent
you that extra added sense of patriotism you should
nexusmag.co.nz
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19
nexus magazine
check out Homegrown. It’s literally the last stop on
for it in your travel hamper.
the Summer Festival calendar but that could be a posi-
Northern Bass 30-31st December
tive as it gives your wallet and your liver some much
If you like your music with bass and your festivals with
needed recovery time. New Zealand Icons like Shihad,
glowsticks then Northern Bass is probably the place
Six60 and Conchord Dawn headline an all NZ Festival
for you this summer. Northern Bass is in Mangawhai
featuring extremely talented musicians and David
which is far enough north of the Auckland that you don’t
Dallas. Where R&V is starting to become a yearly pil-
have to pay so much for hard drugs but not so far that
grimage for some students, Homegrown is more of a
you have to smoke them out of a lightbulb. At $159 for
rite of passage. Something you do once and then tell
two days (not including the camping fees) it represents
people about for the next ten years. For a very reason-
the best value. For those who are into the scene there
able $109 it is well worth doing though. Even if you are
is a lot to get excited about. In fact there is enough
just going to see Hamilton’s own Devilskin because
to choose Northern Bass over R&V because both are
you know someone who knows someone who met
on over New Years. Personally though, Northern Bass
Jennie once so you are sure she will know you.
won’t be about Goldie or Noisa, it won’t even be about
Raggamuffin 13th December
the impressive locals like CTFD, Diaz Grimm or (friends
If you have $129 and are old or stoned enough to
of Nexus) The Knights of The Dub Table. The one reason
remember UB40, Cypress Hill or when Ice Cube
that trumps all others to attend Northern Bass will be
wasn’t an actor then this is probably the gig for you.
the appearance of the Wu-Tang Clan’s GhostFace Killah.
“IF THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU THEN THE PRETENTIOUS ACOUSTIC FEST KNOWN AS LANEWAY IS PERFECT FOR YOU. YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN A LITTLE BIT OF TROUBLE AS A FESTIVAL WHEN YOUR BIG DRAW CARD IS A BELLE AND SEBASTIAN REUNION.”
The Trusts Arena is a nice enough venue and supporting
I hear he ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.
acts like Katchafire, House of Shem and Sons of Zion
Summary
are guaranteed to make it a chill as fuck day out. Sure
This year more than any other the music festival scene
you might be sitting next to some 55 year old lawyer
highlights the diversity and growing popularity of sub
from North Shore who is pretending to be Jamaican
genre’s in New Zealand. It really doesn’t matter where
but who cares, it’s all about one love.
you choose to go, what matters is that you stay safe.
Laneway 26th January
Travel with friends and have an epic time but come
Do you like obscure bands that most of your friends
back next year. We will have a whole new magazine
haven’t heard of? Are you patient enough to wait for
planned by then and you can write us lettuce about
two to five years for those bands to achieve any com-
how wasted you got on your summer vacation and the
mercial success so that you can tell your friends you
cool shit you listened to. Enjoy your summer.
saw them in 2015? If that sounds like you then the pretentious acoustic fest known as Laneway is perfect for you. You know you’re in a little bit of trouble as a festival when your big draw card is a Belle and Sebastian reunion. What happened Laneway, you were cool last year? At $144 it seems a little pricy for what it offers, then again if you’re the type of person who would go to Laneway then odds are you can pay for it out of your trust fund and find the perfect wine and cheese pairing
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LEAGUE 1 ENTRIES CLOSE 23 OCT
TOUCH RUGBY
six-a-side soccer
facebook.com/playsocialsport
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PHOTOGRAPH: BROOK JAMES
nexus magazine
Up Your Away-Game: How to Pack for Summer BRITTANY ROSE
Sometimes life throws you lemons and you make lemonade, other times life throws you lemons and you end up in a g-string questioning your life choices. The secret to an excellent vacation isn’t just dressing for success, it’s packing for it. I’ve never really managed to have a decent New – or something— and we had to drive back along the Years. Being the proverbial broke student (or working
coast which took forever. The point is: it was miserable
in retail) has meant that most of my summers have
weather and people were under-dressed everywhere.
sucked ass. Don’t get me wrong, I love summer.
In line at the liquor store were dudes with goose-
What’s not to love about printed dresses, never wear-
bumped, gym-buffed arms sticking out of singlets
ing pants, ditching your bra for a bikini and strappy
and girls in denim cut-offs and plastic ponchos (no
wedges? But, since I turned 16 I’ve only had a sprin-
hate, rock those ass-cheeks grrrl). Moral of the story:
kling of proper NYE parties- all of which have been a
a) check the weather forecast, and b) pack a denim
nightmare to prep for. So here is my advice on what
jacket, rock warmth and be babe’n in a double-denim
to actually think about when you pack for your sum-
ensemble.
mer away.
Don’t over-pack. NYE 2012/13 I decided to scrap my
Always pack the day before you go away. And
$14.50 p/h 2IC position and max my credit card out on
remember: togs, towel, toothbrush. When I was still
R&V and BW tickets. Then, my cousin and I bought:
at High School my friends and I decided to head to
a tent, a yellow sun-umbrella, a blue sun-umbrella,
Whangamata for NYE. Unfortunately, in my haste to
solar lights, a magenta bbq chair, a teal bbq chair, and
chuck stuff in a bag after work I forgot my bikini. I drunk
airbeds. Gigantic waste of money. The solar lights got
three bottles of Aquila and had a very messy night. The
smashed, our tent got belly-flopped on, my chair got
cherry on top of the shit-muffin that was 2009 was
nicked, the umbrellas were never used, someone
being ridiculed by my friends for looking like an ocean-
broke the airbed pump and my shit-head brother let
slut in my red g-string and lace bra. Moral of the story:
the air out of my mattress on the first night. I did man-
a) Don’t hang out with straight male gamers, and b)
age to make out with a cute boy with long hair, climb
avoid sand in your box by packing a change of bikini
scaffolding and draw vivid-vaginas all over R&V prop-
bottoms.
erty though.
Pack for climate, not context. In 2011/12, I decided
Moral of the story: a) don’t camp at BW (unless you
that I really didn’t want to spend my summer in a mall
don’t mind a guy dressed as Batman burning tents and
with artificial lighting. We went down to stay with
being apprehended by event security “chhk...we have
friends in Gissy and spent NYE in their basement coz
the Batman. Over...chhk”), and b) don’t take anything
it was raining. This was the year that there was a flood
you like to R&V, it will get more fucked up than you by
in some gorge and the bridge by Opotiki was fucked
the third night of heavy drinking.
23
Quotes of the Year Guess the contributor! Most answers right wins tickets for you and four mates to go to the movies! (Tee ‘Give a Shit’ Ship, Alix ‘LA & Cash Hacks’ Higby, Jules ‘Carnage’ Craft, Carl ‘Feature Writer’ Unternahrer, Aunty Slut, Horoscopes, Blind Date, Rachael ‘Editor’ Elliott and Jessica ‘Fashion’ Wilson are all possibilities. Find the wild cards: Louise ‘Worldly’ Hutt, Mark
PHOTOGRAPH: ANDRE KONG
‘Executioner’ Savage and Mike ‘Awesome Dead People’ Bilodeau.
nexus magazine
Loving yourself is one of the hardest things we do as
that your flatmates like your cat more than you. Maybe
where you work your way through Student Village
humans. Making love to yourself is cool too provided
you should adopt more of its mannerisms. Start by
and Bryant Hall leaving a path of carnage, destruction
you stop doing it in those toilets next to Momento.
sitting in a corner of their room and then lie on their
and the occasional uncontrollable bowel movement in
People are starting to notice the grunting.
bed naked licking yourself while always maintaining a
your wake.
creepy level of eye contact. That’ll teach them. I am 100% in support of the deport Bieber from the
Venus is all up in mercury this week, allegedly over
United States campaign, not because I live there, but
By dessert I already had him whipped and ordering
because I like the idea of inconveniencing the spoilt
what I told him to.
little bastard.
something racist mercury said about Saturns need for rims and lack of child support payments to its moons. Drama, conflict and more this week on Geordie Galaxy.
The vagina is not some sexual fountain, open and pourIt’s a fortunate week to formulate creative ideas and
ing juices at all times in case a penis happens by.
A recent study found that objectification, sexual harass-
Sometimes history brings you a man who chooses to
young women and what the actual FUCK?
set goals. This is made slightly more ironic when you realise we stole this horoscope from a daily newspaper.
ment and abuse are considered just a part of life by stand in front of father time only to slap him in his
If you want to pull a hot chick, treat her like she’s a
big, beardy face with a large, smelly, unwashed penis.
If Coachella were a person, it would be hungover on
person, not a thing for you to stick your dick into.
Ladies and Gentleman, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was
Tuesdays and unable to control its bodily fluids at par-
that man.
ties. Interestingly, these attributes fit the vast majority of people who attended Coachella this year.
I had every TV and movie portrayal of a blind date going through my head from long awkward silences
I may be an out there girl, but I’m not one to throw
to creepy serial killers. But just about any horrible sce-
blowjobs out willie-nillie.
There are few people I can tolerate at present, one
of my own cooking, so I was all for it.
El laaaay, mate. It’s grand. I see squirrels every day.
judging people) and the others being whoever else is
My time spent studying Philosophy, English Literature
Obviously St Paddys is a planned date so perhaps
nario was a lot safer than trying to choke down more
being my French friend (French = Bitch, we sit around drunk on a Thursday on Frat row.
and Creative Writing may not have taught me any
spontaneous might not seem the right word but you’re
Tinder’s broken. Either it’s broken or I’m an ugly cunt.
practical skills that I can apply to a workplace environ-
forgetting the fact that students don’t even know what
For self-esteems sake I’m gonna say the first one.
ment, but it has taught me the next best thing: how
day it is, so every year St Paddys sneaks up on us and
to be poor.
leads us down a dark lane of debauchery.
For only a few dollars you can turn your flat into a mysterious love shack, where the only thing more delicate
Shoving your cock at someone who hasn’t consented
I may be a pretentious asshole, but I’m also a kind
to see it is rude, vaguely threatening and deeply
asshole, who loves you, and wants you to wear tailored
than the paper lighting is, upon contracting many strange and wonderful new diseases, your emotional
unsexy. A dick pic is not flirting. If that’s what you’re
sweatpants that show off your cute bum.
wellbeing. Remember to buy a fire alarm.
using them for- stop doing it. I’m pretty kinky, but most porn is so proudly misogy-
If you don’t understand the concept of scrumpy hands
Studylink, I hate you. But I can’t live without you. Thus
nistic that I just can’t go there. I actually sat down once
then you’re an idiot who doesn’t understand one of
my life becomes a bad soap Opera- except Studylink
to hunt out something that I liked but the titles were
the fundamental building blocks of immaturity in NZ.
never says sorry for being an asshole, or buys me flow-
enough to make my flesh crawl- “Rapers of the Lost
ers. I’m going to put that in the suggestion box next
Arse” (sex without consent= rape. Rape= not funny,
time I go see them. If I can figure out where their office
fun or nice in any way whatsoever), “Your Quim is My
have found his way into my mouth. Rather interesting
is. If they even have one.
Gym” (reduces women to things to be played with by
conversation ensued.
Discovered we had mutual friends, one of which may
some guy) and my personal favourite “Horny Slut Gets 10/10 would bang this beautiful lady. 7 tattoos, uniden-
a Gang Bang and a Cum Filled Arse”.That’s just dripping
tifiable ethnicity, and a leather jacket. It was like the
in love and trust and pleasure for both parties isn’t it?”
ingredients to a porno where I get taken down by a
When I told my grandmother I was going to study film making, she asked me, with as much tact as a dead fish, how I expected to get a job afterwards.
female member of a biker gang.
The drinks were flowing until the tab ran out then back for what seemed like a prostitute's gobby, soon
A job is one of those things where you give up all of
Eager returning director and part time water dwelling
followed by my fair share of cardio. I keep trying to
your energy, happiness and time in return for money.
mammal Daniel Farrell got the meeting off to a swift
remember how many Rieslings were had because I
start passing two motions. Unfortunately like 90% of
swear I went to bed with a completely different girl to
First I wanted to be the best Pokemon trainer in the
the board I fail to listen when he speaks but for the pur-
the one I woke up with?
world but that failed cause Pikachu’s a ratchet rat who choose Ashe over me.
pose of providing a complete run down let’s assume the first was to build a golden calf on the green and
If you’re only being nice to a girl because you want
the second was a decree that everyone must listen to
to get in her pants, you’re not a nice guy. You’re an
Just because you can web stalk someone all the way
student radio at all times.
entitled douche bag.
back to 2008, doesn’t mean that you should. Just
This week you are reaching the unenviable conclusion
This week’s sexual position is the “Norovirus” it’s
group curly fries, doesn’t mean you’re not trash.
because no one caught you double dipping from the
25
nexus magazine
The Doctor is In RACHAEL ELLIOTT
An interview with Nexus alumni and the world’s foremost boganologist. Also we have two copies of his book to give-away so email editor@ nexusmag.co.nz and tell us why you deserve to win one. You put NZ Bogans on the map. Whose reaction to
up with the next Bogan project, usually scheming with
your PHD topic surprised you the most? Probably
other online Bogans.
local council here in Hamilton. Would’ve thought being
Best rock'n'roll story? The best concert I went to
named the Bogan capital in New Zealand, we could’ve
was the first one. Metallica in the mid/late nineties.
had some fun with it. Instead it’s almost like it’s being
Young teenager seeing my idols at the time. Guy
intentionally overlooked. Instead we have the Mayor
climbs to the top of Mt Smart supertop and hurls, a
saying in the newspaper that we’re “not just a Bogan
human sprinkler of bile that I narrowly managed to
town” almost like we’re embarrassing. They seem to
avoid. Getting lost and hanging out with these massive
think we’re uncultured. You should never be ashamed
Maori bikers all passing a joint – including to me. I felt
of who you are and you should be proud of where you
like I was part of something much bigger, something
are. Accept it, embrace it. It’s much more fun that way.
that I wanted to stay with the rest of my life. And here
If we were to send someone out Bogan spotting,
it is, it’s gotten me a significant amount of what I have
“DRESSING ALL IN BLACK... AND HAVING A CAT WITH WHITE HAIR. THE OLD LINT ROLLERS HAVE GIVEN UP SO I JUST STICK TO LOOKING LIKE SOME WEIRD BLACK AND WHITE HEDGEHOG WITH ALL THE SHORT BITS OF HAIR STICKING UP...”
what would they look for? Depends on the place. The
today. Just because I love Metal and integrate it into
Bogan is usually chilling at home with some whiskeys
just about everything I do.
and mates so you’re probably not going to see them
What do you do for a crust and why do you love/
in Hamilton on a Saturday night. At the house party
hate it? I don’t shower for a few days for a crust. If you
he/she is probably the one trying to take over your
mean job, I work at Wintec as a Research Co-ordinator.
stereo or yelling at you to play some Slayer. They’re
I like it ‘cos I get to help researchers from all fields with
the ones dressed mostly in black – band shirt, jeans,
their research so I’m always learning something new
shoes/boots.
PHOTOGRAPH: CAM ROBINSON
What's a typical day in the life of Dr Bogan like?
about a lot of different things. Occasionally I get time to do my own research in work hours.
Pretty boring these days really. Like any other person I
What is your favourite thing about being part of
get up and shit, shower…and probably skip the shaving
the Bogan scene? We do tend to help each other out.
part. Just go to work all day, then usually at night I’m
You put out the word you need XYZ for some project or
up by the light of the laptop either writing or coming
something and there’ll always be someone out there
27
nexus magazine
willing to give you a hand. There’s also a million other
world hunt me down online to talk Metal and Metal
Bogans trying to give their opinion, but that’s another
studies (with the occasional invitation to speak some-
thing I like being about being a Bogan.
where or be involved in a project). Being invited to a
What's the worst part about it?
Wintec Press Club and to have a poncy lunch with poli-
Dressing all in black when it’s summer – and having a
ticians, journalists, and various media people (including
cat with white hair. The old lint rollers have given up so
a name tag introducing me as ‘Bogan Authority’). It’s
I just stick to looking like some weird black and white
all been awesome.
hedgehog with all the short bits of hair sticking up off me from her sitting on me all the time. How did the book come about? After my thesis
What do you think about when you're alone in your car? Nothing (other than driving obviously), which is the greatest thing. My mind is always going a million
was done, Penguin approached me about turning my
miles an hour so to shut my brain off, I crank up the
doctoral thesis straight into a book. I told them it was
stereo and listen to some good local music like Team
a piece of academic writing and most people wouldn’t
Kill or Gunt is a rare moment of Zen.
really be interested. They said to let them be the judge.
If NZ were to have some kind of Bogan idol, who
Then they came back and said that I was right and it
would you pick to judge it with you and what quali-
was ‘a bit dry’ (don’t know what they were expect-
ties would you look for in contestants? It would’ve
ing – probably thought an academic thesis on Bogans
been Ewen Gilmour (RIP) – a sad loss for Bogan kind.
was going to be a few Slayer logos and some bourbon
Now I’d probably go with Tammy Davis who played
“BEING INVITED TO A WINTEC PRESS CLUB AND TO HAVE A PONCY LUNCH WITH POLITICIANS, JOURNALISTS, AND VARIOUS MEDIA PEOPLE (INCLUDING A NAME TAG INTRODUCING ME AS ‘BOGAN AUTHORITY’). IT’S ALL BEEN AWESOME.”
stains). So they made me an offer that they’d publish
he’s like in real life but there must be at least some
months) so they could release it on Fathers’ Day the
Bogan in him (even if it’s buried real deep) the way
following year. Sounded stressful but I thought the idea
he played that character so well. You can tell when a
of giving my Dad a book on Fathers’ Day that I wrote,
Bogan’s a Bogan…it’ll come out somewhere. The best
that was in some way inspired by him (he got me into
Bogan would be one who wouldn’t even have to try.
ACDC…GREATEST BAND IN THE WORLD), was pretty fucken awesome so I went for it. Where are the Hamilton Bogans hiding now that
Tips for upcoming gigs that prospective Bogan converts should hit this summer? Caveman Events is putting on a bunch of dates for a national tour with
our favourite haunts are gone? House parties really.
a bunch of great bands called Rooster’s Roadshow
Sadly certain people in Hamilton are buying all the bars
that includes Team Kill, His Master’s Voice, Leave the
and shutting them down.
28
Munter on Outrageous Fortune. I have no idea what
it if I wrote something from scratch before Xmas (6
Dead and a whole bunch of others. In Hamilton they’re
Best opportunity that came from your study?
usually at Biddy Mulligan’s or Altitude – the Roadshow
So, so many. Actually being Dr Dave Snell. The schol-
Hamilton gig is 26th October. I would join up to the
arship and the media coverage. Going to the Rock n
Facebook page to find out more about cool local bands
Rio festival in Portugal ‘cos it coincidentally was there
https://www.facebook.com/cavemaneventsnz . I think
when I was at a conference. The book. The upcoming
a lot of people sadly don’t give New Zealand metal
documentary series. Seven Sharp (before that Mike
bands a chance but there’s a lot of good stuff out there,
Hosking got his mitts on it). A Heavy Metal conference
and a lot of cool people working hard to get it out there.
I went to in the States. Having people from around the
Best bogan advice for students? Stay Bogan \m/.
nexusmag.co.nz
The future is calling and the University of Waikato is answering that call by creating innovative graduates who will lead the way. We offer flexible postgraduate programmes designed to suit your needs. If you are interested in gaining an edge over other graduates and standing out in a competitive job market, you can choose from a range of postgraduate qualifications, including Masters degrees that can be completed in as little as one year. At Waikato, we’re focussing on finding solutions to real world problems. Masters student, Mahonri Owen, pictured, is working on perfecting a brain-controlled electro-mechanical prosthetic hand, including building and programming it from scratch. What will you design? Come along to our postgraduate information session to find out how you can set yourself up for where the world is going, at the university that is going there. Date: Time: Venue:
Wednesday 15 October 1.15 – 1.45pm S.G.01, University of Waikato
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waikato.ac.nz
nexus magazine
SUMMER IS CUMMING Aunty Slut
Alas, the year is coming to an end, which means your loveable Aunty Slut
-Talk to each other. The more you talk about sex, the better it will be. Even if that conversation is about something awkward, or something you’re
is going to skip off to the beach to find a bearded gentleman who likes
embarrassed about, talk about it! You never know what will happen once
cunnilingus and unapologetically sexy, straight-talking feminists. Summer is
you start talking. This also helps clear up those nasty misunderstandings
coming, and with any luck there will be plenty of opportunities for sunshine,
around boundaries.
sweat and cum soaked adventures- of the consensual variety- for all. If I can’t find the bearded gentleman of my dreams I’ll be just fine. I’ve got my brand new 20 speed vibrator, and plenty of friends who’ll cuddle
-Bodies are awesome. All bodies. Every glorious way you people show up on this planet is awesome. Let’s stop the body shaming, and just love ourselves and each other, ok?
me if I get lonely. The trick is to remember that no matter how much you
-Feminism is not a dirty word. It’s the belief that women should have equal
want someone in your life, you don’t need them. You’re glorious if you have
rights to men. For the purposes of this column, it’s challenging widely held
a partner or not!
beliefs like the hilarious joke that if a woman behaves the way a man would,
Things to remember over the break:
she’s called a slut or a bossy bitch, but he’s celebrated for being such an
-Sex is a good thing. Having sex isn’t any reason to be ashamed- even if
awesome player or a leader. Double standards aren’t cool. Quit it.
there are people who ‘assume’ the kind of sex you’re having is inappropriate.
-On that note- #freethenipple and free your mind! I’m going to be rocking
Do what feels right for you, what you want to do and what feels good. If it
my Tata top this summer, because I think it’s bullshit that my nipples are
feels wrong, don’t do it- you don’t have to. My body, my choice, your body,
offensive, but some dude’s nipples- even a dude whose boobs are bigger
your choice.
than mine- are not.
-Women are people. People like sex. I know for most of you, this isn’t a
-Finally, while you can’t get your weekly dose of to the point feminist sex
difficult idea to grasp, but for others it seems to be nigh on impossible. Next
advice in Nexus over the break, you can still submit your questions! Email
time you see a girl out there going after her pleasure, and you feel the urge
auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz and find your answers on my blog http://auntys-
to say something about it, ask yourself whether you’d say the same thing to
lut.wordpress.com/ over summer.
a man, and if not, shut your mouth. -Worth is not defined by clothing or sexual choices. If you are a human being you deserve respect. If people don’t give you respect, walk the fuck away.
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nexusmag.co.nz
Be sexy, be safe, be honest, be a slut if you want to- and know that ‘slut’ is just a social construct for people who can’t handle your gloriousness.
PHOTOGRAPH: LOUISE HUTT
My fellow sluts,
nexus magazine
SHHHTTRESSSSSSSS! Carnage Jules Craft
PHOTOGRAPH: WILLIAM STILES
When I’m stressed I find myself over analysing every little decision. It
favourite lecturer told me that “you can do all the strategic planning you like
gets to the point where I sometimes spend five minutes in the morning
but the best way to learn is experimentation.” You will never want to study if
thinking how heavily a coffee is going to affect my learning in the coming
you’re constantly thinking about how little you know about your subject. Just
future. Will I be too energetic? Will I crash out after the energy boost? Is
pick up the text book and enjoy soaking in the information. You’re definitely
sipping on this warm beverage perpetuating an addiction orientated mindset
not going to remember everything you read but at least you’re taking those
into my future? Does this mean I’m going to be a heroin addict?
little baby steps that everyone always told you about.
It’s that time of the year again; with exams coming up and the wick for
If you genuinely focus on something for longer than 10min you’ll start
assignment due dates burning low I’m over-thinking everything. Is anyone
realising that time is flying by. You’ll never have enough time in the day to
else tasting that musty flavor of self-doubt and lack of motivation? All I can
do everything thoroughly. Just pick your priority and focus in on it, don’t let
see when I try to peep into the future is myself flunking essays and not
yourself be put off by your enormous workload. It’s hard to educate yourself,
passing the assignments I’ve worked so hard on. I’m like the shitty version
it can take a toll on your body and mind but remember "Man cannot remake
of That’s So Raven. What I’m starting to realise is that it’s my perspective
himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor." One of
on the future that’s getting me so twisted. Instead of thinking so heavily on
the most rewarding feelings in the world is that moment when you sit back
every little detail and how it will somehow twist the balance of fate its better
and fully relax because you’ve taken care of what you needed to that day.
just to live in the moment.
Keep grinding Waicats! I hope you all smash your exams and get down
Stress for me builds up for two reasons: having to get things done and not
and dirty with those essay questions. If at any time you feel lost or without
getting things done. Thinking so heavily about the first thing distracts me
direction just remember this piece of advice: Don’t worry no one else has
from the second. By living in the moment I don’t mean you shouldn’t con-
any fucking idea what the plan is either.
sider the future I just mean it becomes counterproductive when you’re more worried about how you’re going to do something than actually doing it. My
31
nexus magazine
SUMMER SAVINGS
You there, with the highflying summer expectations! Unless
Outdoor dining. Say no to expensive restaurants and gourmet
you’ve also scored yourself a highflying summer job, you’re gonna
takeaways of winters past: pack a picnic and get outside – the sun
have to lower your standards. That doesn’t mean your summer is
will soon be out till 9pm! The best of the best outdoor summer din-
bound to Hamilton and it’s distinct un-summerness though! Here
ing takes place on the grass next to a beach – so get scouting now
are a couple of handy tips for how to make the most of the brighter
and plan your social events around a shared picnic or communal
days ahead.
barbeque. Salads are a summer staple too, and they are reason-
Car camping. This sounds rough and it is. But setting up overnight
ably inexpensive once avo season is in full swing. Don’t forget to
camp in your vehicle is a pretty cost effective way to drink and not
consider the wind – fish and chips are significantly less satisfying
drive when you hit an out of control beach party. If you’re feeling
when covered in sand.
just a bit adventurous in general, you can do a roadie and park up
Just being outside, period. Gone are the days of burning through
wherever it is the road takes you. You’ll need to be thoughtful about
your power bill with mid-winter movie sessions. The sunshine will
where you plan on leaving your car however, cos while NZ has some
alleviate most of your dependency on power, so take advantage
wonderful freedom camping laws that make most public property
of it. Store the heater away, only use the computer for work, and
your camping ground, you can’t just stop your car wherever the hell
spend all of your free time lying on the grass with a book in your
you want. Chucking an empty 6 pack out into the bush or beach as
hands – it’s FREE! Surfing, swimming, and sunbathing (responsibly)
you depart is also a dick move.
are also cheap activities and oh so much better for the soul than a
Friends’ family baches. This is the Waikato, land of wealthy farmers’
10-kill streak on COD.
children. It’s safe to say someone in your group of friends, class, or
Heed this call: Summer is basically the only time of year you can
extended social group has access to a family beach house. They
cut down your boring expenses without feeling a pinch. The only real
won’t all be located in Pauanui, but check your social standing and
appliances you need are a fridge/freezer, a stereo, and a barbeque,
accept that for all intents and purposes, Raglan will do. Muscle up
the last two you can probably nick from a friend or family member.
to these people now, and do your best to brush off their ignorant
Save this extra dough in prep for next year, go nuts on Christmas,
political comments and general lack of empathy until autumn comes
or treat yourself for getting this far through your degree alive. It is
back around.
surely something to commiserate – I mean, commemorate.
32
nexusmag.co.nz
PHOTOGRAPH: ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS
Cash Hacks Alix Higby
nexus magazine
PARIS FASHION WEEK A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson
The final location of fashion month. “Why do all good things
mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the tele-
come to an end?” - Nelly Furtado 2006.
vision, saying that thin models are ugly,” and “no one wants
70s Vibes. Trelise Cooper is probably smiling like a crazed
to see curvy women,” seemed to be using the current social
rodent in a cheese cupboard right now. Saint Laurent, Emilio
media interest in feminism as an excuse to gain publicity and
Pucci and Gucci were all heavily influenced by the 1970s.
be on trend. Choke on your dick, Karl.
Whereas Saint Laurent and Gucci were fairly conservative
Jean Paul Gaultier Leaving Ready-to-Wear. Now if you
and customer-focused, Pucci went full on sex-appeal, fea-
want a feminist male designer, Gaultier is it. Stating at his
turing gorgeous gowns, sheer blouses, and a see through,
Spring 2011 show, “what counts is personality, there is not
manufactured-shade-of-orange top that will forever be burnt
just the one form of stereotyped beauty.” His shows always
into my nightmares. Forever, I tell you.
included women of colour, as well as the occasional plus-size,
Dries Van Noten Wins Best Opening. Dries Van Noten's
pierced, tattooed or older model. Although his designs were
Spring 2015 begun with models lazing along a mossy forest
often of questionable taste (think Madonna’s infamous cone
floor (actually a patchwork carpet created specially by artist
bra), Gaultier was an icon of 80s and 90s fashion. Thankfully,
Alexandra Kehayoglou). Only the soft sound of chirping birds
Gaultier will still be doing Haute Couture, “throwing away the
could be heard as the models sat in their respective places
cake and keeping the icing,” as Rick Owens put it.
with delicate, motionless expressions. Trippy. Pseudo Feminism. Karl Lagerfeld’s Spring 2015 collection
Kimye. Kim strikes me as the kind of person who eats mayonnaise from the jar, whereas Kayne seems like the type to
for Chanel ended with a ‘feminist’ protest. Models carried
use facial moisturiser on his body. Kimye were the highlight
signs with such poorly devised slogans as “Boys Should
for many at Paris Fashion Week, except the photographers
Get Pregnant Too,” “Tweed Not Tweet,” and “Ladies First.” at Lanvin who booed and hissed at them when they arrived Lagerfeld, the originator of such quotes as “these are fat
late. Awesome.
33
nexus magazine
MENTAL HEALTH Louise Vs. The World Louise Hutt
I bought Laneway tickets today, also known as my hipster certification for 2015. (What? You didn’t know being alternative was regulated?!) It’s been a long time since I really looked forward to something but I’m finally starting to live month to month, year to year, rather than the day to day struggle that poor mental health confines you to. When I think about how I have survived four years at university, living one day at a time, I’m genuinely surprised I didn’t try to kill myself more than I did. A lot of people are affected by mental illness, a lot more than you would think. Mental illnesses aren’t something which magically affect some and not others. Poverty is the leading cause of mental illness (you can thank the World Health Organisation for that fact!) and anyone who has worked a shitty job, been unemployed, had any kind of serious financial instability can attest that having money worries definitely impacts your mental health. The World Health Organisation also states that living in a community without social equality (whether
“I JUST WISH, INSTEAD OF HAVING THESE
EXPIRATION Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady
CONVERSATIONS IN HUSHED TONES WITH PROMISED SECRECY, THAT THEY COULD TALK ABOUT IT PUBLICALLY.”
it be racial, sexual or gender-based) makes it incredibly difficult for high levels of mental health to exist. Spring is the perfect time to give your makeup drawer a clean
Two of my friends were hospitalised recently, and another I had to
out! Check those expiration dates, remove any products that have
call, terrified after a cryptic message they left me, to reassure them
split, dried up or changed in smell. While expired cosmetics may not
that life is worth living. Every single one of these friends has told me
make you sick they can lead break outs or skin irritation so use this
about their struggles with the opening phrase, “so you know how you
handy guide to help sort your cosmetics out.
did/said/wrote that thing about you having depression?” I just wish,
Look at each item and check if it is marked with a “Y” Year or a “M”
instead of having these conversations in hushed tones with prom-
Month – If a product is labelled as “3M” the products estimated
ised secrecy, that they could talk about it publically. Unfortunately
expiry is 3 months after opening.
every one of my friends who has struggled with it has mentioned the
Foundations – 6-12 Months, remove if observe any change of smell,
stigma, the same road blocks on the way to recovery. “I told so-and-
colour or the oil splits from the foundation.
so and they told me to stop being so ‘crazy’”, etc etc etc.
Concealer – 1 Year
Getting to the point where you have no qualms about openly talk-
Mascara – 3 months – Will often dry up or change in smell.
ing about mental illness mostly comes from telling people who do
Liquid Liner – 6 months
shame you, put you down, or promote stigma to fuck off. Like literally.
Lip Gloss – 18 months
Flatmate who told me to “get over” my brother committing suicide?
Lipstick – 2 Years
Cool, get out. That’s not to say having battles with mental illnesses
Eye Shadow, Powder Blush – 24 months
makes me the greatest friend in the world, but it’s about knowing that
Remember that expiration dates are a guideline. Shadows, lipsticks
people won’t make you feel worse when there are already a thousand
etc can be extended by practicing good hygiene- so avoid sharing
other things pulling you down.
your lipsticks and gloss.
I’m pretty fucking proud of myself for making it this far. I look forward to the future because I know it will be okay, and I truly believe
sweetpaintedladynz.com
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if I can get that far, so can everyone else (yes, YOU!).
nexus magazine
NEXUS & CLUB AWARDS James Raffan
Last week shortly after we went to print the Nexus staff joined
Dr Sam Sarjant, winner of Services to Clubs by a University Staff
with the WSU to celebrate the achievements of our clubs and
Member.
Nexus writers. By now there should be an endless cascade of
Moses Simpson, winner of Services to Clubs by a Club Member.
embarrassing photos of people who are a little drunk. In all likelihood
Waikato University Cook Islands Assn (WUCIA) for International Cook
they will be the Nexus writers as people from our clubs network
Island Language Week, winner of Best Club Event.
drink responsibly and aren’t plagued with the same social afflictions
Carrie Swanson - Postgraduate Student Association, winner of the
and deep seeded issues as writers. Please feel free to check them
first ever Club Legacy Award.
out on the WSU Facebook.
Waikato Psychology Students' Association (WPSA), overall award win-
Through some extreme stealth work and a little theft we were able to get the list of award winners in advance so we can publicly congratulate them in the magazine. I really hope they haven’t changed tonight...
ner for Club of The Year 2014. And the winners of the 2014 Nexus Awards are: Best New Writer: Jules Craft. Best New Concept: Peter Donauf.
Congratulations to:
Best Feature: “Don’t Trent On Me” by Rose Bear Don’t Walk.
The Waikato Tramping Club, winner of Sports Club of The Year.
The Tony Arkell Award for Most Consistent Contribution: Zac Lyon.
The Chinese Student Academic and Cultural Club, winner of Cultural
Best Writer 2014: Jessica Wilson.
Club of The Year. CS3, winner of Academic Club of The Year. Waikato University Gardener's Club, winner of the Lifestyle Interest or Activity Club of The Year. Waikato Boardgamers Club, winner of the Rookie Award.
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SNAPPED
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nexus magazine
Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates. Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.
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nexus magazine
Blind Dat�
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/ SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US, EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
XX
XY
THE LADIE'S EXPERIENCE
THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE
Running fashionably late I walked briskly in the door my
On a typical Tuesday afternoon while at work and didn’t
eyes searching for a guy sitting by himself. Heart fluttering
expect this to happen that I have a blind date tonight. Only
I found one of the waitresses and explained the situation;
told a few people I know and even my boss to warn her
half expecting her to say I was crazy and the whole thing
that I maybe late in the morning. Almost forgot about it
was a hoax but she smiled at me and pointed discreetly at
after work so my trusty old pals decided to remind me
'the guy' sitting patiently by himself. She asked if I wanted
after work.
a drink first but figured I could meet the guy without the
Thanks HOMIES!!. Got home and got out of the jandals
help of alcohol. Walking over to the table he stood up and
and shorts, and put on my snazzy shirt and jeans.
shook my hand, unfortunately it wasn't love at first sight,
I’m a man of punctuality, so I arrived 10 minutes early. I
but he looked like a nice enough guy. We ordered, decid-
was offered a shot by the sister behind the bar, but I coolly
ing we would make the most of the $150; ordering all
declined. After a few minutes waiting by the fireplace, I
three courses, wine, coffee and cocktails the works. We
was joined by a lovely, good-looking blonde girl. After the
had a few good laughs, discussed some mutual friends
initial nerves subsided and our food was ordered, conver-
and had the odd awkward moment. The food was great
sation really started to flow.
and so was the service! It ended with the exchange of
She was very outgoing, confident, and laid back kind
numbers and him walking me to my car sorry guys not
of girl. We talked about things we had in common.
exactly a hot n steamy, raunchy date nothing scandalous
Interesting things such as travelling, what we do on our
to report, no quickies in the bathroom or him taking me
free time, and food, plus some other things like saving up
back to his, we had a one armed hug and I hopped in
and work, and to the downright scary things like mutual
my car.
friends were discussed. Luckily, the mutual friends we
Over all had a good night, cheers The Edge!
We started to wrap up the night with cocktails and shared
have hold decent opinions of me (I think...). dessert. After more conversations, I decided to ask her if she would do this again in and around her own spare time. So, an exchange of numbers and to meet up again was made.
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PHOTOGRAPH: CAM ROBINSON
nexus magazine
#ADVOCACYFORLYFE AMBER CARDALE & LAURENCE MCLEAN
— In the final instalment of ‘Serious Shit 2014’ we bring you some advice on how to get re-entry into University next year and a few final tips for the year. If you get a letter saying you have not been granted automatic re-entry into Waikato then this column is your one stop shop to get that shit sorted. If you aren’t granted automatic re-entry then the first thing to do is draft a letter explaining why you haven’t done as well as you could have, what university means to you, why you want to stay at university and what you plan to do to make sure you pass next time. #wehavetemplatesforthis Sit down with a student advocate to go through with your letter and look at the structure, content, and what you could possibly add. #dontputhashtagsinyourletter Send your letter into the University for consideration for your re-entry. IMPORTANT! Whatever you do, whatever happens that dampens your performance in any way, please try to go to your exams! Come and see us if there are any problems before or after your exams. The Advocacy Service is open all through T and S semester to support you. So come and see us. We are nice. We promise. #welivehere Laurence’s final thought for the year: It feels like only a year ago, when I started at the WSU, that I was a chipper young 23 year old student about to complete his final year. Oh wait, it was. Now I’m a chipper young(ish) 24 year old about-to-be a former student. Apart from being older and now unemployed, I also have some great memories and experience to take with me, and have hopefully helped out a few of you along the way. Thanks #amberscool, Pene, Dave and the rest of the crew for making it a great year, teaching me heaps, and generally being awesome. Love you homies. Amber’s final thought for the year: This time of year is stressful, you have the last of your presentations, tests and assignments coming up but it is important to have some ‘me’ time. Some choose to take a walk, some even get a stress ball. I personally like to take time away from the stresses of life by having a Big Mac combo upsized to large with a glass of wine. However you may do this, your mental health over this time is important. Mental Health Week was a reminder of this. Find out what your relaxing activity is and schedule times to do this over study week.
Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz
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STICKY PECAN CINNAMON ROLL Cooking for Students Zac Lyon
They have magical powers; after eating I can promise you they will make you feel smarter, until you realise that you are in the same position you were before you made them, if not worse off. They may attract ‘study friends’, who you should not consider true friends, they are only here to steal your notes and baking! Ingredients 2 cups of milk ½ cup oil ½ cup sugar 2 ½ tsp yeast 4 cups of flour ½ cup additional flour ½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp baking soda 2 ½ tsp salt 225 g of butter ¾ cups sugar 2 Tbs cinnamon 1 cup pecans nuts (chopped) ½ cup corn syrup 2 tsp vanilla extract Directions 01_ Pour in milk, oil, sugar and yeast and heat in a pot or
microwave until just lukewarm.
02_ Add in the flour and mix like a crazy person until a sticky
dough forms. Rest for 1 hour.
03_ Add in ½ cup flour, along with powder, soda and salt, mix
and turn out onto floured surface.
04_ Roll the bad boy into a rectangle about 30 inches wide and 8
inches long (use a measuring tool, a similar length body part
will not suffice).
05_ Melt 113g of the butter and mix cinnamon and sugar into a
dry powder.
06_ Paint the rolled dough with butter, then sprinkle over sugar/
cinnamon mixture.
07_ Roll tightly, so you have a 30 inch long cinnamon roll. Slice in
1 inch circles.
08_ Melt remaining butter in pan, add pecans, syrup and vanilla
and heat until bubbling occurs.
09_ Spoon in 1 Tbs of syrup into each muffin hole (muffin tray), add
in sliced rolls. Press down.
10_ Bake for 15 mins until golden and cooked through. Allow to
cool and enjoy.
Good luck with your exams and have a safe holiday, hopefully I’ll see you scallywags next year.
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Codewords
Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Crack the code to solve the crossword.
KenKen
Sequence
The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the
What shape comes next?
upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target number” and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to form that cage’s target number. You may not repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5, your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)
Syllabic
1. Small details: 2. Process of changing:
From the following syllables and clues, form ten words of a least two syllables.
3. A region in southern Argentina: 4. Producing in large quantities:
a - a - a - al - ca - com - e - go - i - ic - la - lif
5. Pertaining to the lungs:
- mi - mo - mous - mu - mu - nar - ni - ni - nil - nu - on - pa - pat - pro - pul - ril - rit - sa - sar - se - syn - ta - tel - ti - tion - tion - ty - u - y - y
6. An established procedure: 7. A soft drink similar to root beer: 8. Mental infirmity of old age: 9. Equivalent in meaning: Draw answer here.
10. The transmission of information: Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,
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nexusmag.co.nz
HARD
MEDUIM
column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.
EASY
Sudoku
nexus magazine
Target How many four (or more) letter words can you make from the letters in the square without using proper nouns? Each word must contain the centre letter.
Crossword
Solve the clues and fill in the words. Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.
Across
33. Wrong (9)
69. Hoard (5)
15. Dialects (7)
50. Advocate (9)
1. Vegetable (7)
35. Lower limit (7)
70. Pragmatic (9)
17. Lackadaisical (7)
51. Villain (9)
5. Blandished (9)
38. Skilful (5)
72. Dig (5)
20. Hazard (4)
53. Hindered (7)
9. Titled peer (5)
39. Up-to-date (6)
73. Accumulated (9)
21. Bills (8)
55. Immediately (9)
13. Remember (9)
40. Fraudulence (6)
74. Superimposed (7)
22. Income (7)
56. Quarry (4)
14. Units of time (5)
42. Ringlets (5)
23. Disregard (6)
59. Exchanged (7)
15. Escapade (9)
45. Not paid on time (7)
Down
25. Female singing voice(7)
60. Ignited (7)
16. The study of insects(10)
47. Inventions (9)
1. Theft (7)
27. Insanely irresponsible(7)
63. Male relative (5)
18. Ship’s steering
49. Memory loss (7)
2. Implied (5)
30. Leave out (4)
65. Become liable to (5)
device(4)
50. Phsically strong (6)
3. Without bounds (9)
32. Detested (5)
66. Dexterous (4)
19. Cautious (7)
52. Grain store (4)
4. The night before (3)
34. Perfidy (7)
68. Indicating maiden
22. Entourage (7)
54. Candidate (7)
5. Weariness (7)
36. Synthetic fabric (5)
name (3)
23. Lands surrounded by
55. Cake topping (5)
6. Dull pain (4)
37. Type of horse (7)
71. Whole (3)
water (7)
57. Freight (5)
7. Cease-fire (5)
39. Security interest (4)
24. Piece of furniture (5)
58. Reproduction (7)
8. Similarity in appearance
41. Tremendous (8)
25. Rescued (5)
59. Patron (7)
(11)
43. Teller (7)
26. Mythical beast (7)
61. Irritated (7)
9. Month, in short (3)
44. Part of a poem (6)
28. Olfactory organ (4)
62. Tight (4)
10. Gained (9)
46. Abashed (11)
29. Lets in (6)
64. Cut (10)
11. Equipoise (11)
48. Conceited (11)
31. Nipped (7)
67. Held sacred (9)
12. Adolescents (9)
49. Wondrous (7)
43
A G . A Become future-ready faster and get an edge over your competition.
A G . A
Summer School
Postgraduate Study
T Semester runs for six weeks, starting 10 November and is the perfect opportunity to catch up on your study, take a step ahead, or build on your strengths. We offer T Semester papers across a wide range of subjects – including online papers.
We offer a range of postgraduate programmes designed to help you fast-track your career, change direction or enhance your employability. Find out more at our Postgraduate Information Session:
Enrol now to make this summer count. waikato.ac.nz/go/summerschool
Wednesday 15 October 1.15pm – 1.45pm S.G.01, Ground Floor, S Block
A
G . A × M . A × G . M A . G . A . × G . M . A G . × A M . G . A A × × M . M . G . G A × M . A × G . M A . G . A . × G . M . A G . × A M . G . A A × × M . M . G . G A × G . M . A G . × A M . G . A A × × M M . . G G . . A A × A the second WSU ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING
WEDNESDAY 15TH OCTOBER 1PM IN L.G.01 Business to be conducted includes: •
Presentation of the audited accounts
•
Presentation of the annual plan and budget
•
Approval of membership fees and directors honoraria
•
Appointment of the auditor and the solicitor
•
Ratification of the ballot carried out at the recent SGM