Nexus 5

WAIKATO’S FREE STUDENT MAGAZINE

Issue Five 2012

SQUIDDY

HATES PEOPLE

Charlie reviews

GUCCI STAGES A

COUP

MMP Alix talks office

POLITICS

THE POLITICS ISSUE

Gucci Stages a Coup If you have arrived at your Monday morning class, sat down and started reading Nexus, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for being a part of our committed readership. I did exactly the same as you in first year (I’m now too much of a veteran to make mistakes like taking Monday morning classes) and look where it has taken me - to having an editing role within Nexus. I’m Sean and I’m in my third and final year studying a Bachelor of Communications. My allegiance to Nexus began with myself as Gucci, writing the “Hate it or Love it” column each week. As my fascination with Nexus matured like a fine wine, I got myself more involved to the point at which I am now on the editorial staff. The head honchos at Nexus said an editorial written

by Gucci would be too obnoxious, hence why “Hate it or Love it” resides in the back pages.

So basically my contributions to Nexus portray the mullet; business up front and party at the back.

This week’s theme is really the bread and butter of Nexus - Politics. As the future business leaders, politicians, scientists, and academics of this country, we university students should take a particular interest in politics. Politics is going to affect our lives more than ever as we leave university and try and get jobs, making it in our best interests to be proactive now. That means voting, having your voice heard, and discussing the issues that you want addressed by our government.

Student loans, the minimum wage, and university entrance are just a few current issues that have a bearing on our existence, so don’t continue blindly thinking that politics doesn’t affect you that much. Like it or not, it is only going to start affecting you more!

No one can pinpoint the reason why so many students don’t vote. It could be any number of things from politicians not making good on their promises to us, not promising us anything to start with, or possibly we are put off by the stories we read about in the news. If Pansy Wong is representing the people of this country in Parliament while her husband is spending taxpayer money on private overseas trips, what confidence is that supposed to give us in the rest of the 121 Members of Parliament?

It’s an unfortunate case of the money and the power corrupting what were once wellmeaning politicians, and it is something our generation has to rectify. We are poised with a great opportunity to progress this country further than what our current 122 MPs have done, so let’s make things happen. We have some amazing and active political talent at this universitylike resident ‘Green on campus’, Sam ‘Sketti’ Taylor. She has a way of making you understand and even care about an issue. I hope Sam’s feet stay shoeless and that she evolves into the great politician I know she can be, because in that case I would probably vote Greens the rest of my life. The bottom line of this topic however is that it doesn’t matter if you vote for Labour, Act, or a guy who does three-way handshakes; as long as there is a politician who you identify with and you’re grateful to have them representing you in our Government.

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What’s Inside?

How Saph Sees It 8 Ball News Lettuce Art Vs. Life Sports Thoughts Mr. Minty Fish How To Chillin’ with dDub Diary of a Hipster Auteur House Tangata Tumeke It’s not easy being Sam Ask Amber the Advocate Club Spotlight Political Catharsis The MMP Review Half Baked with Mel Gig Review Puzzles Kevin Goes Down on Books Comics Lick That Spoon YWRC and CAB Off the Rack Vox Pops and On Campus Did You See?

Credits Editors: Alix Higby and Sean Goulding Design: Katrina McIntosh (design@nexusmag.co.nz) Design Interns: Anna Bennett, Eva Hou, Shaun Jay Advertising: Troy Arkell (ads@nexusmag.co.nz) Cover Art: Graham Williamson News: the Flying Nexus Monkey Daniel Farrell Managing Editor: James Raffan (james@nexusmag.co.nz) Contributors Squiddy, C-ball, President Sapphire Gillard, first man Charles Gillard, Sam Taylor, Priscilla Ngatai, Mr. Minty Fish, Melanie Matthews, Nick Johnston, Art Focker, Something Hip, Hoory Yeldizian, Dr Richard Swainson, Bernard Williams, Alice and Anne, Kevin Pryor, Kylie from YWRC, Jill from CAB, and the glorious indestructable 8 ball.

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, OR ANYONE ELSE IN PARTICULAR. Nexus Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton.

Phone: 07 838 4653 Email: editor@nexusmag.co.nz

How Saph Sees It A message from your ‘able leader’ Politics is a word that means so many different things. It’s a word that divides and brings together. Whether you’re pro politics, democracy, and fighting the good fight, or if you’re anti-politics, the selling out, and manipulation, you’ve still got something to say about the issue.

But what about all of you in the middle? The “apathetic” student. The uninformed. Well, there are a couple of things you should know.

Firstly, I don’t know a whole lot about politics. I watch the news (on the odd occasion that I arrive home before 6 o’clock), sometimes read the paper, but generally find out about the world by talking to people who care. But really, if you ask anyone who knows anything about the subject, that’s not actually politics but more current events. Or at least that’s what I’m told, but again, I’m not an expert in this area. So here are two issues you should know about because even I know about them and from my understanding they’re more than current events: they relate to politics.

MMP is being reviewed. Last year you may or may not have voted but of those who did about 58% voted to keep MMP. So what the heck is MMP and why should you care that it’s changing? MMP stands for the mixed member proportional representation system that we currently use in New Zealand to elect our members to parliament. To be blunt, it’s a voting system.

Under MMP, people get two votes: a ‘party’ vote, which broadly determines the number of seats each political party gets in Parliament, and an ‘electorate’ vote, which determines who your local MP is (Hamilton East’s local MP is David Bennett). However, MMP has a number of features that some people find controversial, such as the fact that a party can only get seats in Parliament if it wins 5% of the total party votes or if it wins an electorate seat.

Others find it frustrating that parties rank the order of candidates on the party list.

- What thresholds parties should have to cross to qualify for an allocation of list seats in Parliament - Whether list MPs should be able to stand as candidates in a by-election - Whether a person should be able to stand as a candidate both for an electorate seat and on a party list - Whether voters or political parties should decide the order of candidates on a party list, - What should happen when a party wins more electorate seats than it would be entitled to under its share of the party vote - The effects of population growth on the ratio of electorate seats to list seats 4

Editorial

Other matters referred to the Commission by the Minister of Justice, Parliament, or raised by members of the public.

So why should you think about this? Why should you do more than think about this? Why should you bother making a submission and have your say?

Let’s take the 2008 election as an example. Bill and Ben made a party. They had fun promoting it and over 13,000 voters had fun voting for them. While 13,000 people voted for their party they didn’t get into parliament because their party didn’t break the 5% threshold. But what would have happened if there was no threshold for parties? How different would parliament have been….?

An important political issue is happening at home too. For those who don’t know, Hamilton City Council looks to be somewhat financially screwed, thanks in part to the V8 races, and also thanks in part to the Claudelands Events Centre. The City Council now is saying that it might to cut services and put up rates.

Why should you care about this? I mean, we don’t pay rates, do we? Well, unfortunately, your landlord will pay them on your house, and if their rates rise, do you think they’re going to be really benevolent and just take the hit? More likely, if rates go up, we’ll see rent prices in Hamilton increase to take this into account = less money for you. Similarly, cutting services means Hamilton – City of the Future – becoming even less exciting and even more shoddy than it currently is. Previous proposals have included things like reducing Hamilton’s libraries’ hours (or putting on a charge for borrowing normal books); cutting the CBD litter patrol, and footpath cleaning people; and to stop maintaining vehicle crossings.

Although these may seem like minor things, they will make a difference. So again, you have an opportunity to express your democratic right and have your say. To see what’s going on check out www.hamilton.co.nz and have your say on the council’s 10 year plan.

And of course, make sure that you get involved in your Waikato Students’ Union. If you’re not a member, come in and sign up today. Then, if you’ve got some ideas of things that you think the WSU could be doing – come and let us know. I’m always keen for a chat, so just drop in to the WSU office and make an appointment to see me, or email me at president@wsu.org.nz

8 Ball The pacifists flocked to me in the thousands. “Oh malevolent ruler” they cried. “Save us from these uncertain political times. Sheath your sword, calm your bloodthirst and be the uniter of all mankind. It may surprise you to hear that it worked. Oh yes, for the first time in a hundred thousand millennia my rage fell away. A strange feeling began to fill the void. I, the ruler of the eight plains and destroyer of Krypton began to feel something. I felt….

I felt… I felt…..hungry! I dined on a feast of pacifist that night. Their blood was my wine, Their pets my desert, their women-folk tasted surprisingly like fried chicken.

Unless you wish to suffer the same fate make with the questions…..

Hey man are you ever going to run for Mayor?

It is certain.

The 8-ball has an evil plan and will now tell you about it as though he is a Bond villain. As your Mayor I will build a muti-million dollar events centre that no one wants to use, sell off the local municipal pool and drive debt so high through car races that you will have to close the library a couple days a week…what?.... what do you mean they are already doing that…. I will rip open their plagiarising skulls.

Are asset sales a good thing?

Cannot predict now.

While it seems completely stupid to sell assets that are profitable it may actually be a thing of genius. Not learning from one’s mistakes going all the way back to when Prebble and Douglas were doing this back in the 80s may be the only thing that saves their puny lives. The 8 ball is about to conquer your so called long white cloud.

Your citizens will be enslaved and forced to work for my amusement but the owners of the assets, they will be sacrificed at my altar and have their ashes scattered across your tiny globe.

Will the Greens improve their result in the next election?

My reply is no 8 Ball is so important that he gets a sneak preview of Nexus each week and he read in short news that they are selling weed in vending machines now. Unless the election is being held in one of the two new Wendy’s being built in the city, the Greens will be busy that day.

The Waikato Times called Sapphire Gillard “Able Leader.” is she?

Concentrate and ask again It has been my experience the Waikato Times’ “readers” are only doing so while their own imagination is in the shop getting fixed. I prefer to get my news from real newspapers. I have not met this ‘Gillard’ but if she is as able as you say she will make a fine concubine and surely be held up as one of the better of my 300 wives.

www.budgetappliances.co.nz Entertainment

5

News Heading Road rules change. People still ignore them

The storm in the teacup calms a little

The Give Way rules changed on Sunday 25th March and it was road-ageddon, sort of.

Police released a decision regarding the “Tea Tape” that arose from the Election last year.

Two of the rules surrounding when you give way changed at 5am on Sunday 25th March. Firstly, at a T-intersection, the rule is now “top of the T goes before me”, which effectively means if you’re turning right at a T-intersection, you have to give way to people turning across you. The second is “if you’re turning right, give way” - that is if you’re turning right, you need to give way to people turning left.

Mr. Ambrose, who allegedly recorded a private conversation between Prime Minister John Key and Hon. John Banks during the election campaign, had previously claimed the conversation was not private as the two men had invited members of the media to the event. He also suggested other members of the public would have been able to hear the conversation. During the campaign, he requested the High Court in Auckland declared the conversation was public. This did not occur because Justice Helen Winkelmann did not want to interfere with the police investigation into the matter.

Less than 36 hours after the rule change, a website tracking incidents caused by the rule change (www.yourdriving.co.nz) said there had been 80 crashes and 25,819 near misses. This was after a calculated 2.8 million “turns”. The website was calculating the crashes and near misses using data from the Police website, Facebook and Twitter.

A student who did not want to be named said, “yeah, I noticed people not sure about the rules. But most people ignored the rules like they always do”.

On Monday 26th March, Police put out a press release in which Assistant Commissioner Malcolm Burgess is quoted as saying, “While Police have issued a warning in this instance we are clear that the actions of Mr Ambrose were unlawful. This sends a clear message to media that the recording and distribution of conversations that are considered private is likely to lead to prosecution in the future.”

You can view the changes to the give way rule at the New Zealand Transport Agency website - www.giveway.govt.nz.

Mr. Burgess also said that there was not sufficient public interest in the matter going to court.

Screw students, let’s have some worms!

University of Waikato Facilities Management Division have installed what is known as “The Faculty of Worms.”

As the complainant, Prime Minister John Key said, “I repeatedly said at the time that I was concentrated on the issues that matter to the New Zealand public, and that the secret recording wasn’t one of those issues. That remains the case.”

The Faculty of Worm is a worm farm situated behind the Oranga Building. This is part of FMD’s Sustainability plan. The intention is to reduce the organic waste taken to landfill from the University. The worm farm can process four tonnes of paper and food waste per year.

“Hold on a sec - the Queen wants to have a chat with you” Queen Elizabeth II has shocked a newlywed couple, turning up to their wedding to congratulate them. John

6

Short News Section News

Computer Scam Hamilton residents are being warned about a new computer scam hitting the region. An audacious hacker has been cold calling computer owners and alerting them to fictitious problems with their system before selling them otherwise free software. “It is a sad state of affairs when someone like that would openly prey on people’s emotions and naiveté” said a Nigerian Prince desperately trying to free his enormous wealth from a Swiss bank.

and Frances Canning had been told before the ceremony that they were going to be sharing the venue with the Queen, but never expected the Queen to actually visit their ceremony. Mr. Canning said when he found out the Queen would be using the same venue for another event, he jokingly sent an invitation to Buckingham Palace. The invitation would be met with a polite decline.

However, it seems Buckingham Palace did arrange with the Manchester City Council as a surprise. Frances told the Manchester Evening News: “We never dreamt we would be able to meet her. When we had our ceremony, the staff asked us to wait for a moment in the corridor and just a few minutes later the Queen arrived. She knew both our names and apparently we had been especially added to her rota.”

Pizza Burger not coming to New Zealand Lovers of the Pizza Burger are being served, but they’re not being served a Pizza Burger (Nexus just loves the bad news puns......)

Burger King in the US has created the Pizza Burger, which consists of six beef patties, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni on a 25cm diameter bun. Hundreds of messages have been left on the New Zealand franchise’s Facebook page requesting the Pizza Burger, however there are still no plans to offer the burger in New Zealand.

Burger King NZ Marketing Manager Rachel Allison confirmed the lack of plans to bring this to New Zealand, however she did say that “if there was a big market opportunity [Burger King] would certainly pay attention”.

The Pizza Burger has been available in the United States since 2010 and reminds this Nexus writer of the Double Down... One Facebook user, Jamie Cook, said in perfectly understandable and grammatically correct

English, “Wow bring it tht looks soo farkin bad for you i love it cant wait to soak up tht grease” (sic). Another user, Lincoln Vaz, said “Please bring the Pizza Burger to NZ! It’s a perfect meal for someone on a meal a day!”

Christchurch Cathedral takes its final bow Cranes started to take down Christchurch’s battered cathedral on Monday, after the Anglican Church in Christchurch, who owns the building, decided it should not be repaired.

The decision to demolish the building has been met by criticism by many parties, saying that it was a part of the city. Critics include the city’s famous Wizard. They held protests and passed out flyers in an attempt to raise public awareness of the issue, being particularly vocal during visits to the “Red Zone” for people to have one last look at their city’s crumbling icon.

On a number of occasions, citizens were reminded that while the building had become an icon, both the building and the land it is on are owned by the Anglican Church.

The Church also said that the cost of repairing would be much higher than rebuilding in another location given safety issues.

However, a stonemason told 3 News that “modern techniques mean the cathedral can be rebuilt safely by building a concrete wall and attaching the stones with glue and pins.”

Operations General Manager of the Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Authority, Warwick Issacs, said the plan was to remove the windows over the next six to eight weeks and then bring down the spire. He also said that once it had started, it would be very difficult to stop.

Another failing industry

Someone still loves us

Auckland based club “The Daktory” has installed a cannabis vending machine in an effort to stop its members being charged with dealing drugs. “The move to automate drug dealing is just one more indication that all the best jobs really are heading overseas under National,” one stoner said. While the long term effects of the decision are unknown, it is believed that losing that 120 seconds of awkward face to face time with a dealer in residential Nawton can only have a detrimental impact on the growing drug industry.

A Japanese Tourist who was briefly hospitalised last week after being severely beaten insists he still loves New Zealand. The tourist had been beaten for refusing to give a man money or cigarettes on an Auckland street.”One bad apple does not spoil the bunch and all the other kiwis have been so helpful” said the man who had clearly not visited the bad-apple filled dystopias we call Waitra, otorohanga and Victoria Street on a Thursday night.

News

7

Lettuce

Congratulations you are this week’s winner! Come to the Waikato Students’ Union building to claim your prize!

New look new Nexus?

Hey guys just want to say I was sceptical of the Nexus at the start of the year. The design was a little weak and the words way too big. But I am really starting to enjoy it. I just need you to answer a few things for me: 1. Is that actually Alix?

2. Are we going to get 24 articles about cricket and nothing else.

3. Is that virgin legit? If so why don’t you take him out with the blind date guy, get them both laid. Stop cock blocking them 4. I saw Sluts and then got an article about no Sluts. I feel like I want Sluts back.

A Fan. Blind Date Is it happening again that girl was such a fucking bitch.

She was all like I new I didn’t like him and then spent three paragraphs about the bar and getting laid. Seriously girls why be dicks. And Nexus I don’t care if someone is four years older or younger but next time get photos so we know that it isn’t all made up shit.

Nexus wants your Lettuce!

Write about anything you like, as long as it’s under 250 words. We’re like FOX News, in that we’ll publish anything if it’s funny. Your name won’t be attributed to your letter if you choose, and pseudonyms are fine (we still need your real name). Send them through to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz before 5pm on Wednesday for a chance to be included in the next issue. Also, we won’t edit anything you send us, because it’s funnier that way.

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Opinion

Mr Minty Fish, R u a chick or a dude. I want to have your babies.

Signed, Gangsta Café like a boss?

It was great to see a bar review. I love that about Nexus but it was a little to0 friendly. No one really took shots at any bar for their sticky floors or whatever. I really like the food pages but will someone please bring back café like a boss. I need to know where me and the rest of the stoned slackers can hang out. If nothing else solve the Momento vs Stacey debate once and for all. Who does it better. I smell a coffee showdown!

Boring Boring Lettuce Now that the love affair between two friends has finished can we get back to what lettuce is really about, calling for nudity, chaos and randoms. More blind dates and chicks in their underwear and less articles featuring whales and science.

Signed sports thoughts fan Agony Art come back Liars! Werez my nu agony art? Hes got skillz.

Art Lover.

READ: WE DIDN’T WRITE THIS, AND IT’S THEREFORE NOT OUR FAULT. LOVE, NEXUS.

Art vs. Life From the Vault

OK. So we’ve been instructed that the best way to be the best writer is to write a lot every day.

It’s a hard target we’ve been set. On some days I’m far too depressed to even pick up a pen. Other days are too busy or too hot or too hung-over. Like today, for instance. I’m too hot, so I came into the labs to start writing, only to discover that the air-conditioned cell I was in was too cold.

The hair on my legs stands up and occasionally an intake of breath will make me feel ill, as the food in my stomach is enveloped by a wave of coldness.

I think that maybe, just maybe a vegetarian would eat a duck, seeing the horrid fowl is so much like a vegetable. So we should at least offer the cooked ducks to the vegetarians. I don’t care too much whether they take them or not, as long as no ducks come near me ever again. Except in sandwich form, which I believe to be their natural form anyways. Ducks fuck around all day, floating in the water. They rarely seem to be airborne. They just sit there, on the water, looking remarkably dumb, yet constantly alert.

I did just eat a nice lunch though.

They don’t exactly need to be alert. No cats or dogs can get to them without making a hell of a lot of noise and nofish can survive the putrid, fungus-ridden cess-pool created by the ducks. I once thought that the ducks ate the nofish in the lakes, but have since discovered that nofish actually live there. It’s far too filthy for the fresh-water loving nofish. All ducks have to do is be annoying, which is what this one who came over to me was doing very well. As it came over to me I started to think about how arrogant and demanding nature’s fuckwit is. It does nothing for a job. I don’t even think it builds nests.

It doesn’t clean up, the way ants and small flying birds do. It doesn’t fight evil creatures, like the mongoose fights cobras or honey-badgers fight Satan. It doesn’t guard children from paedophiles, like the terrapin or the giant squid of the deep Pacific. It just floats and quacks and shits and paddles in its own shit and hassles the nofish and finally, when they see you are eating some food (paid for through hard work or at least some kind of labour) they decide that all their floating, shitting and hassling has earned them some of your bap. And they can just fuck right off. No creature on earth deserves your bap less than the feeble-minded duck. Fuck ducks.

I had a PowerAde and a bacon and egg bap. I took them from the cute blonde girl and I walked around the lake, tailing two groundsmen in their weird pseudo-Jeep as they picked up bottles and cans and paper cups (the thought occreed to me that I’ve not seen a young person drinking alcohol from a disposable cup in a long time. I mean, all alcohol comes in its own cup of sorts anyways, so why should we buy more?) and I thought about stopping by the lake where they were working but I saw it was just a giant orange smear and the thought of the work required to remove whatever kind of aquatic fungus it was made me not want my bap, so I kept walking. I sat on a seat by a different lake. A duck started to come over to me.

I have come to the conclusion that ducks are nature’s fuckwits. I hate ducks. I think they are the single animal which our world could definitely do without.

We should hunt them all down, cook them all up and give them away to starving people around the world. Except vegetarians and those on hunger-strikes for political reasons. Well, now that I’ve thought further on the fact,

Opinion

9

Sports Thoughts with C-ball THE EELS STINK – IT’S THAT SIMPLE

The Parramatta Eels are languishing at the bottom of the National Rugby League points table once again, with a big fat donut to their name from four games played. The slow start, which has seemed to plague the Eels in recent years, has led to many fans expressing their dissatisfaction for both some of the players, and current coach Stephen Kearney. In the days just passed, Kearney has emerged unscathed from a boardroom crisis meeting with Parramatta’s chief executive and trustees, but any more additions to the team’s losing column will be sure to have punters laying money on him to be the first coach of 2012 to be sacked.

To have no points after four games isn’t all that bad to be completely honest – most years as a Warriors fan I come pretty close to experiencing this sort of gut wrenching dismay, and I always find it interesting when the coach is the first to get the blame for a slow start. To be completely honest, I’m not even quite sure what a coach has to do other than invent a few plays, and create a strategy for the team to follow. It isn’t rocket science – hold the ball, maintain a solid completion rate, capitalise on the opponent’s errors, and if you hit the 5th tackle with a minute to go and four dividing the two teams, give the ball to a Polynesian player. Because after all, he’s the one with the PhD in razzle dazzle double majoring in offloads and breaking ankles.

But if teams drop the ball in their own half, have a substandard completion rate and give away weak penalties, it is the players that are failing to follow through with what a coach has asked them to do. The Eels have scored a rather pathetic 38 points in their four games this year, and leaked a further 135 over their try line – the two worst stats in the NRL. Why is Stephen Kearney getting heckled by morons for things he can’t control? I’m sure at training he doesn’t instruct them to leave porous gaps in their defensive line, or put together piss poor efforts on attack. If there is one thing Kearney could be blamed for, it’s allowing his crappy team to revolve around two players so completely. Chris Sandow and Jarryd Hayne take up almost 25% of the team’s salary cap alone, and if you ask me, any dipshit with more than one ‘y’ in his name needs to go back to the trailer park. Not to mention Hayne hurts himself every two weeks, then comes back to score some freak of nature try that gets everyone frothing, only to injure himself again and leave his team up shit creek.

The Parramatta Eels have a habit of losing the plot and blaming it on the coach – just take Daniel Anderson for example. In 2009, during his first year with the club, he 10

Opinion

coached the Eels to a Grand Final, albeit one in which they tasted defeat. And guess how the Eels started that year?

Pretty fuckin’ shitty. Mid way through the season they sat third to last, only for Hayne to light a firecracker under his ass and lead the Eels on a seven game winning streak which saw them finish 8th, placing them in playoff contention for the Grand Final which they reached four weeks later. But unfortunately Parramatta fans are like goldfish, and lack any sense of intelligence, memory or gratitude. In 2010 the Eels once again started poorly, and Anderson was sacked as coach unceremoniously. Nice going dipshits. The man led your team to a Grand Final in his first year as coach, only to be thrown out halfway through the next.

It is because of the Eels that I’ve learnt to trust what the coaches of my favourite teams are doing. As a Warriors fan I’ve got kind of sick of hearing ‘oh em gee why is McClennan playing Tupou and Ropati and not playing Inu, Inu is way better.’ Obviously Inu isn’t way better, because I’m assuming the coach who has won the United Kingdom Super League twice and taken the Kiwi’s to Tri Nations glory in 2006 knows more than any of us. Maybe McClennan knows that despite Ropati currently being off the boil (after two years of injuries), he forms one of the most lethal partnerships with Manu Vatuvei, and on his day is defensively one of the best centres in the NRL (despite having the handling skills of a three year old).

I for one try to accept what coaches do, and have faith that they probably aren’t trying to get themselves fired anytime soon. So – leave Kearney the fuck alone, or stop supporting such a crappy club.

Mr. Minty Fish DISCLAIMER: The following holds the odd Gay/Lesbian reference. I have nothing against either.

Lesbians, you love a good vagina and gay guys like a good penis as much as we do. It’s fundamental science. No more, no less.

What even is Lactose-free milk? If you’re allergic to lactose, don’t drink milk. Fuck alcohol being the devil’s drink. Lactose-free milk. That’s what’s wrong with society. Oh hi. Sneak a peek to your right. Tell the guy next to you that I think he’s hot. DO IT. Did you tell him?

Omg cute. I’m so in. How are you? Are you well? I hope so.

I heard a few of you were sick last week. Only saying this because I went to the doctors on Friday morning and there was this line of girls getting last minute appointments to see nurses. Awwww. You guys must be really ill. (CHLAMYDIA) I’m not going to lie to you. Mainly because the truth is usually more interesting and also because this is our second year together and we’re just too damn cute to lie to one another; so here it is. I had no idea what I was going to write about this morning. Not that I usually go in to this with any elaborate plan, but I feel as though today my brain was all “Oooo child. I’m not doing shit for you today.” Having a sassy black brain is just the worst.

Anywho, because of this I hit up the old Facebook and after doing so I was flooded; nay; overwhelmed by the sheer amount of 4 responses I got all day. One of which was deleted before I could read it. Betchest. The other 3 were as follows: The shitholes people live in: Our bathroom door has 2 holes in it. What up. David Arcus: Good kid. Top yarns. Tank, love, alcohol, marijuana and yarns: Tank’s a top lad. I don’t really have enough emotion to hold any opinions on love. Alcohol is great; however, I’m doing a 3-day apple detox next week so that I can start ruining my insides all over again. No opinion on weed as I am genuinely allergic and yarns are more important than anything else. You can be bangin’ but if your yarns are shit house, I will not have a bar of it.

Ok so that’s 349 words. Basically what that equates to is that the next 400 words will be spent breaking down your current situation. Keep in mind that I’m not fucking psychic so this will more than likely apply to one of you and alienate the other 1000 or so; but for that one, I will blow your Monday morning mind.

Your girlfriend’s cheating on you. Whether this means that you’re a guy or whether that means you’re a lesbian; I don’t know; I told you I’m not a fucking psychic. Anyway, yeah; she’s a slut; but that’s ok because you don’t know this yet.

Well you’ve made it to L block which is the main thing.

Granted you only did it because your flatmates give you shit about never going to class so you decided to fuck their shit up and go. The reality is that they don’t actually care. You realise this now. You’re nodding and let a giggle go. Pull yourself together, you’re a fully grown man (or lesbian), there’ll be no giggling from you.

There’s a hot chick in front of you. Not in direct cock range but basically she’s just not behind you. The thing with this bitch though, is that her friend is the typical nosey, possibly Jewish, over-protective ugly type that wants to ‘sit in’ on her friend’s dates because she’s lonely. You know this because she’s wearing a hoody and dangly earrings.

Never trust a bitch that accessorises her hoody. Oh god, did you just get a class boner? Ok I guess that establishes the fact that you’re not a lesbian. It’s cool, it’ll go away.

Just think about the bangin’ birds friend. There you go.

Mischief managed.

If you’re sitting next to your mates and they’re reading this too, just know that they’ve been slyly checking to see whether or not you’ve got a boner. It’s cool though, because you’re about to do the same thing. It’s not gay.

Ain’t nothing gay about a bromance.

You’re name’s probably Dylan or Sam or some shit. Either way, just know that if your jeans were slightly more tailored and you used slightly less product in your hair then you would be a babe. Keep this in mind so that you can swoop in next Monday and steal the hot chick away from her friend. I’ll be looking out for you, kid.

You go Glen Coco.

Love you all as usual. Stay phenomenally good looking.

Yours for a few hours on a Thursday, MMF.x “It’s not gay if you’re both straight” – Smash. (2012).

The Empire.

“You’re not a man until you’ve had a man” - Nixon. R. (2012). The Empire.

“LOL imagine if one of us were the ugly annoying friend in this MMF article” – Iaccessorizemyhoodybecauseimadick.

(2012). Your L Block Lecture.

Opinion

11

HowHeading To: Office Politics With Alix Higby

How to: Avoid/Win Office Politics.

Okay so I have this much (demonstrates small amount) of an understanding of real world politics, so I’m in absolutely no authoritative position to write a ‘how to’ on any political activity. Which is why this week I’ll be jabbering on about a different kind of politics. It’s a little banal and sort-of ridiculous when you really get to thinkin’ bout it, but nevertheless a daily occurrence in most peoples lives.

OFFICE POLITICS. What is it? It’s the underlying, ever-present act of stringpulling, people influencing and favour exchanging that most people utilise to get them where they wanna go. With the added super-duper bonus of not having to put in all those hard yards. Hard work? Geeet out. It gets a bad rep because it can snowball into blackmail and some not-somild cases of harassment that will get you F-I-R-E-D but in moderation I think it also has the potential to be a useful tool in angling for that ideal job or dream promotion juuust out of your reach.

Why should I care? It’s like using Jedi mind tricks on your boss and fellow employees. And those pesky kids in your tutorial group in that mind-numbing first year class you have to take… All you have to do is be up for a little gentle manipulating. How do I win? Well…

There are two routes you can take, here.

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Opinion

The Interstate: You can choose to engage in office politics and risk your all-important rep. If you’re playing by the rules, for the right reasons, and you don’t get medieval on anyone’s ass then you should be fine. I would suggest starting off by getting to know your co-workers a little better so you don’t step on anyone’s toes. Don’t visibly suck up to the big boss, but hanging out after work for a couple of drinks and offering a “how are you?” (As sincere as you can manage, please) and a well-placed smile won’t hurt. Your friendly disposition will open up opportunities for you to take on future leadership roles and responsibilities - especially if you’ve got a good support system of workmates behind you. “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” blah blah blah.

Another good beginning point is to make sure to listen to and respect co-workers opinions and ideas, as this will make them more receptive towards anything you put forward later on. Some things to avoid: trash talkin’, the blame-game, sleeping with all the interns, and limelight hogging. This will only work if the boss is also a pig and appreciates your style.

66: An alternative is to just avoid the whole malarkey altogether. Dignity: Check! Just show up on time, work hard, and get yo shit DONE. All you have to do is make sure you don’t fall into the doormat trap and you will ideally be rewarded for your efforts. Ask for further training, offer your assistance with the big jobs, and bring a positive attitude. If this method does fail you (it happens. A lot.), you can choose to revisit option one. Not being a sneaky little office bitch is a nice feeling though.

And that concludes this week’s ‘how to’! And yeah, I know half of you don’t even have jobs cos you suck. But I figure you can save this issue and revisit it later in life; should you ever become employed .

Chillin’ with dDub Interview by Nick Johnston dDub is returning to Hamilton on the 4th May for the ‘Send It On Back’ Tour. Presale tickets are $20, available on eventfinder.co.nz, and each comes with a free download of the new single ‘Send It On Back’! We spoke to Derek Browne from dDub to find out more about what the band has been up to lately and their plans for the future!

Since the release of Medicine Man in 2008, what have you been up to musically and whereabouts have you been touring?

Well, we went pretty hard out after releasing Medicine Man - toured Australia three times, New Zealand several times, and lots of festivals and other shows around the place. Australia was awesome, and of course we love getting around NZ - but we toured ourselves out for a bit, and decided we’d chill on the touring for a bit. So we had a couple of years just writing and looking into developing our sound - musically things can stay in the same place if you tour all the time.

Are you currently working on any new recordings?

Yus! Plenty - just released a song, but we have an album’s worth of material which we are workshopping - very cool stuff too, slightly different direction, a more cohesive sound, and I think a maturing sound for dDub. The best is yet to come!

In the changing record industry environment, how has D Dub handled the changes? Is there any difference in the way you recorded and toured in the mid 2000s compared to today?

Loving the changing industry! It’s better for an independent band like us. Yeah - totally different - you don’t need a big studio anymore - except for drums. If you’ve got live drums like us, you need a decent sounding room, which is hard to find outside of a studio ... but halls are good, and we’re looking at that right now. In fact, I’m calling some people tonight! Basically you can do it all at home now with extremely good results, compared to the mid 2000s when home recording was kinda looked down upon a bit, and results were a bit sketchy.

Rolling Stones - Let it Bleed / Sticky Fingers / Exile on Main St Genesis - Selling England By the Pound Devendra Banhart - Smokey Rolls Down Thunder Mountain If you had the chance to collaborate with any musician, alive or dead, who would it be and why?

International artist: Ben Harper - because he is the man, so expansive in his musical ability. Awesome songwriter - some of his b-side material, the folkier stuff is amazing music. Such a talented guy.

Kiwi: Warren Maxwell - because, as a friend once said to me, he is a musical force of nature, and has quietly inspired a league of kiwi musicians How do you feel about the current crop of new NZ artists who have been inspired by your music?

Any favourites or ones to watch out for?

I’d be stoked to hear of anyone who’s been inspired by dDub - that would rock! A band I’m digging at the moment is a Welly band, Newton Rocksteady - very cool old school roots done with precision and beauty awesome feeling music.

You have an upcoming gig at Flow. Tell us a little bit about your set and what fans might be able to expect from the show?

We have a bigger lineup - three piece horn section (the best in NZ I reckon!), 2 gats, bass and drums, we’re all singing now, and we will be cranking out new songs - we’ll be rocking it out, for two big sets for the Tron! dDub ‘Send It On Back’ Tour May 4th - Flow Bar Presales $20 on eventfinder.co.nz - includes free download of new song Door Sales $25.

What would be your top 5 albums, and do any of them have an influence on the music you produce?

Man, we are a very varied bunch of music lovers in this band - so I can only speak for myself. My favourite albums are pretty obscure and change all the time too! I like the old styles. But to rattle a few off...

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon / Wish You Were Here JJ Cale - Naturally Opinion

13

Diary of a Hipster Issue Four: Politics

So this topic is kind of weird. Politics… Did you vote?

Which party do you support? Who was your preferred prime minister? Blah blah blah blah… blah. Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you sit here and read an entire page of me going on about who I support, whether I think Winston is an egg or whether Aunty Helen was gay or straight. I’m not going to make you read anything that you don’t want; in fact feel free to turn the page right now, go on… do it. You don’t want to listen to this stuck up hipster’s spin on politics. Because really I don’t care and I don’t think you really do either. I will, however, say that if you were one the over 1 million people that didn’t vote last year then I think you’re a fool.

Thanks to National our Students’ Union and our faithful Nexus magazine lost 60% of their funding this year compared to last. And don’t think I’m judging you if you voted for them because I did too. But that’s where we’re at, I still get to write to you, and our WSU still stands united and strong, although perhaps a bit poorer than in 2011.

Alright bam, that’s my spiel on politics as mainstream culture would know it, but damn that only took 200 words. Hmm… (I actually sat at my laptop for 20 mins) what am I going to write about now? Then it came to me…

My spin on this, from an angle I actually know a little bit about, and think many of you can relate too. The politics of H-Town nightlife.

I love Hamilton; I’ve lived here all but one year of my life. I love the fact that we can catch a cab from almost anywhere for less that 20 bucks to our CBD, and from there you are literally less than a 5 minute walk from any kind of food outlet, bar, casino or club H-Town has to offer. But this is also Hamilton’s greatest down fall. The number of bars and clubs that we have regularly exceeds the number of piss sinking punters that on any given night choose to actually venture out of the comfort of their homes. The market is so saturated with choices and options that we have become spoiled for choice. Gone are the days of arriving at town before 9pm to watch the rugby or just to hang out with your mates. It’s now far more practical to buy your 24 double browns for 24 bucks, or your 20 dollar goon sack from the corner liquor store, get 14

Opinion

all your friends around and be so shit-faced by midnight you can barley walk, let alone need to buy a drink in town.

This in turn forces the establishments to push their prices up so that they can stay in the green.

So the fact that because we all turn up so cut to town and don’t buy drinks in the clubs, apart from for the opposite (or same, I’m not bias) sex we have no actual reason to stay at one, when you can just skip to the next. So when I see the fools in this magazine complaining about door charges and bouncers at the ridiculously tacky clubs you talk about, I think “you have no reason to complain, because it is you that is the problem!” The bar owners have no choice but to make you pay at the door when the chances are you’re not going to pay at the bar.

This sickening downward spiral has lead to the state our CBD stands in today. Does anyone remember Bahama Hut, or Coyotes? These bars were brought and shut down to decrease competition. We are now so bombarded by advertising, drink specials, cheap pizzas, lame parties and mediocre DJs playing a set playlist taken from the Top 20, that we don’t actually have any appreciation for what a good club night is. We just go on this crazy-ass blurred-ashell mission, through as many bars as we can in the three short hours we spend in town, spend as little as we can and then either find a piece of the opposite sex to throw in a cab or a piece of pizza to stuff in our mouths.

So here is my challenge to you. One night this week, ask a gurl or boi you know, even a group of your favorite friends, if they would like to go to town for a drink. Go in before 10pm, find somewhere nice you can sit and chill out and see if you can manage socializing in a civilized situation where grinding, arse grabs and one liners won’t work. Best of luck to you, if you can manage it, you have social swag. Do me a favor and check out www.facebook. com/SomethingsWall, here you can find past articles, links to rad tunes and gigs for hipsters.

Until next week.

Something Hip

Auteur House

By Dr. Richard Swainson

Back in the bad old days of the early 1980s, when video stores were still a novelty and the country was struggling to come to terms with sexually explicit content, pornography was often kept under the counter and issued in plain paper bags.

I had a school mate who worked at such a shop, one who often sorted the boys out. You would go into the dungeon - for in that era all the rental outfits embraced a dark and dingy aesthetic - give the signal, and he would duly oblige with a wink and a smile. Depending on your age and point of reference the experience was like going to a Prohibition-style speak-easy or acting in a Benny Hill skit.

Either way many a Rotorua lad received an underhanded adult education, with Linda Lovelace, Marilyn Chambers and the saucy, marginally under-aged Traci Lords the sensual instructresses.

Labelling Body. This process takes time and money and is impractical for any but well resourced distributors or big commercial players like The Warehouse.

The net result of the situation is that thousands of the best films ever made are denied New Zealand audiences.

Only a fool would suggest that the process is one that protects or educates our population in any way. I am not talking about pornography or snuff films. What we are missing out on is a lot more edifying than that. Untold classics from Hollywood’s golden age, world cinema from every era and corner of the globe, masterpieces from exotic cultures, much that has been freshly discovered, cleaned up and delivered during the digital revolution, all is procedurally contraband until signed off on by some blinkered Wellington bureaucrat.

To state the obvious, such a censorship regime is completely out of step with the internet age. When your average five year old can access the hardest core smut with a few clicks of the mouse where is logic in denying him, say, Frank Capra’s 1933 “Lady for a Day”? Given that I purchased said DVD on Trade Me, the issue of enforcement is also a relevant one. There is next to no policing of the rules when it comes to private individuals selling overseas sourced material on websites or to second hand dealers like Cash Converters.

Today of course pornography has lost both its novelty value and exclusivity. The internet provides what dedicated sex shops do not. Auteur House, my DVD rental store, does not bother with a porno section, a decision based as much on the market as good taste. While we continue to have the odd drunken punter demanding ‘stick vids’ or even mistaking our up-the-red-carpet-cladstairs entrance way for that of a brothel, the inner city is well served by specialist stores. If you are really interested in that kind of content I can recommend the odd art film to service your needs - anyone ever heard of “9 Songs”? but you’re better off going to Peaches & Cream if not Fire Cats.

The law is so profoundly an ass in this area that it can be openly flaunted.

Funnily enough though we do operate the equivalent of the old under the counter service. One of our main problems continues to be New Zealand’s antiquated censorship system. While an individual or a business can go on line and legally import any commercially released DVD from overseas before such material can be rented or on-sold in the domestic market it needs a formal censorship rating from the official Film and Video

I could not possibly let a customer have access to this collection. To do so would violate legislation. But if you are paying for something that you can legally hire, have a good track record with the shop and a curious disposition, I might let you have a little peak. We should be able to work something out. Perhaps an informal lend, all in the name of art?

In part because I am personally working my way through that populist tome of record, “1000 Movies You Must See Before You Die”, Auteur House has a behind-the-counter cabinet stocked full of quality titles that we cannot legally hire out. Few if any of these films have contentious content. Many rank amongst the greatest works of art of the last century.

Opinion

15

Tangata Tumeke Te Ranga Ngākū

There was no fear in “fear factor” for Te Ranga Ngākū (TRN) at the recent Noho Marae held at Poihakena Marae in Raglan last weekend.

Ngākūs overcame their fear of those deadly concoctions brewed by Jenna and Sada (fellow- Ngākūs) and sucked it up to win the coveted bar of chocolate and the title of ‘Fear Factor” champions. This event however was not without its challenges, as within minutes of announcing the win, everyone bailed to the nearest bucket or bush to get rid of the evidence. This however did not stop those Māori students from heading down to the beach to have a big feed of fish and chips, play some touch and swim.

Noho is organised by Te Ranga Ngākū (Māori Management Network) to welcome the first year management students to TRN and the Waikato Management School and to provide some whanaungatanga. This year’s Noho also drew some first time 2nd and 3rd year students, who are also proud to be called “Ngākūs”. Other activities during the weekend noho included jumping off the Raglan bridge at midnight, sleeping in ‘til 10am while Tau and the cooks made breakfast and of course the crime-solving skills that all good Management students need in the deadly game of Mafia!

TRN also has a social sports team in the Thursday night indoor-netball which also remain undefeated, thanks to their wicked defensive players (way to go wahine) and their ace shooter Leighton, not to mention of course their captain – Mr. Delaney (aka. Pene). Also on the radar for TRN is their haerenga in Semester B (location tbc), and of course the standard kaitahi. So, if you are a Māori Management student and you want to kick back with the whanau and get some support during your studies, then you need to catch up with Te Ranga Ngākū (find them on facebook).

Priscilla (Davis) Ngatai Ngāpuhi, Ngātihine, Ngāti Kahungunu, Ngāti Rongomaiwāhine VP Māori 2012

EVENTS COMING UP: Hakinakina held this Wednesday @ 1pm down at “The Dons” – university sports fields by the tennis courts starts at 1pm. So get in contact with your Māori Networks or Māori Mentors to join a team, otherwise just come down on the day and soak up that wonderful Māori atmosphere.

Kingitanga Day 2012 will be held on Wednesday 16th May here at the university. There are no classes, so you are all free to attend amazing workshops, guest presenters at the different schools around the uni. And when you feel like taking a break, come and hang out down on “The Green” and listen to the sounds from our Māori artists and Māori sports people.

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Lifestyle

Sam

It’s not easy being Green I’ll admit it. I thought I lived in the hood. I thought I grew up kinda rough. The thing is, I didn’t even know what rough was. What I thought was ‘rough’, was basically living in the country; unmowen lawns, unpainted roads, ripped clothes (from playing outside), being kinda hungry sometimes (this resolved itself as soon as I opened the fridge). I didn’t even have to consider that this wasn’t the case for everybody. I was totally unaware of the world I was in. At the tender age of 8, after realizing that maybe living on a life style block wasn’t quite the same as living in the ‘hood’ it became apparent that my life was impacted upon by politics as much as by parenting.

Politics had determined for me what my experience of the world would be. As it does for every child, every person, every being- including you, whether you want it to or not.

Politics is in everything. It is your shampoo. It is in your music. It is in your food. It is in your clothing, your house, your relationships. Politics is unavoidable. We can choose to be disinterested, but all we are choosing is to have our lives determined more by the existing social systems that are embedded in society than by our own decisions.

Sodium laureth sulphate is the politics in your shampoo.

Political decisions mean that there are no labeling requirements for telling you what sodium laureth sulphate really is. It’s palm oil. It is responsible for the loss of about 300 football fields of rainforest per hour. Deforestation counts for 20% of the worlds greenhouse gas emissions, and Orangutans are on the path for extinction in

ASK AMBER THE ADVOCATE Hi my name is Amber and I am the new WSU advocate for 2012. Every week in this space I will talk about issues as the come up. I’ll let you know about some of the trends we are seeing and what we can do together to improve your situation and find a positive outcome.

It is interesting that I am starting an advocacy column the week Nexus is doing politics. Politics have an impact and what we do even when we are disinterested in the outcome. A lot of us whether we realise it or not are products of our environment. When you think about it how many times have you heard someone say I vote (insert party here) because my parents did.

The other trend is people voting their aspirations rather than their interest. There is nothing wrong with that. In many ways it’s a testament to hopefulness. It is uplifting to see people who are working a full time job, studying and raising a family on minimum wage who still vote for a party with no capital gains tax because they see themselves owning multiple properties one day. While that might be someone’s aspirations their reality is far

10-15 years if it continues. But hey, it’s cheap! And the free market needs to make a profit- so it puts the costs of production onto external things that don’t matter. Like orangutans, their habitat and climate change. Political decisions and structures drive these situations. The “free” market (not free; not fair either) and the influence of multinationals who have such a significant impact on our economy mean that our Government is less able and less willing to regulate their behaviour.

Increasingly, complex global situations and their local impacts are recognized as being changeable. The missing ingredient for change is political willpower. Politicians just need the balls to do it. We need to show them if they don’t do it, they won’t be politicians.

It is possible. We can do anything. We keep choosing not to. The moment in which you realize that everything is political is closely followed by another moment. The realization that you have to engage with it. There is a third moment too, it’s the crushing feeling of not knowing how. It’s like having to look at a glass of cold water on a hot day and not being able to drink it. It sucks. If knowledge is power, information is empowerment.

As I learnt when I was 8, my experience of the world had been decided for me by politics. You have the power to decide what the future is going to be for every other 8 year old, and the orangutan. You might not get to radicalize the system, but you get a say in it. So, what are you going to say? And for whom? different. In hard times it is always the working poor and the middle class that suffer the most. At the moment times are harder than they have been for a long time.

Austerity measures have lead to the slow and steady dismantling of the welfare state. There is also an ever increasing notion of the poor treating things life the benefit and hardship like an entitlement.

The thing politicians still fail to grasp is that the working poor and middle glass are the backbone of our society.

More than that though given the choice they don’t want hand outs they just want someone to help make things just that little bit easier. A little bit easier to raise kids, a little easier to return to study, a little easier to get by day to day. Sometimes that is a grant to pay a bill, other times it is just being able to talk to someone about the issues and work through them.

As the advocate for the WSU I am here to talk or tow work through things with you and to do so at no cost to you so if you would like to make an appointment just come see me at the Sub Building or email me at advocate@wsu.org.nz Lifestyle

17

ClubHeading Spotlight Debating Society (‘Debsoc‘) Noob No More Debsoc is starting its third year at University and feeling like less of a noob around campus. We’ve figured out where our classrooms are, made several hundred friends and have discovered that we really like to debate. A lot. We debate about anything and everything: from social issues, ethics, religion, and politics all the way to the downright politically incorrect.

We are so shameless about doing it that we’ve done it everywhere. We do it publicly and privately; we do it on Tuesday evenings on campus, and then again at House bar over drinks; we’ve done it in Hamilton, Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, Palmerston North and even in Waimate, out in the middle of nowhere. You may have even caught us doing it at Momento, all around town, at Fairtrade Fortnight, and even at an old people’s home!

So what’s in store for 2012?

In May, 150 students from Auckland, Victoria, AUT and Massey will descend on the University of Waikato for the North Island Novice Debating Championships (lovingly called ‘Thropy’) for a huge weekend of debating during the day and soaking up the Hamilton nightlife in the evenings.

Thropy is a pretty chilled out tournament, and a great way to get into debating, especially if you are a first-timer.

In July, we’re jetting off to the Windy City for Australs!

This year’s Australasian Intervarsity Debating Tournament is in Wellington and we’re pretty excited.

Our last time at Australs constituted of 10 days in a 5-star hotel, debating during the day and partying late into the night only to wake up and do it all again - with 500 students from all around Australasia and Asia.

Claytons happens at the end of August in Waimate, a tiny town in the South Island. Roll out of your sleeping bag, grab a piece of toast, and head to a paddock to start debating in the open air, surrounded by picturesque snowcapped mountains. There’s nothing quite like it!

In September, make sure you keep an eye out for the 110-year-old tournament: Joynt Scroll – the most prestigious of all the tournaments –to be held in Auckland!

We’re looking forward to a brilliant third year and cannot wait to meet even more of you! So if you’re keen to try something new, sharpen up your speaking skills, or just want to have a good yarn, flick Debsoc a message at debatingatwaikato@gmail.com!

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Lifestyle

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Political Catharsis How Politics Lead Me to Drink and Hate My Life Politics. Who gives a shit? Not me. Not anymore at least.

I could give you a plethora of answers as to why but each one is just a little more condescending than the last. That whole thing about “I don’t vote because my parents didn’t vote” or “politicians have let me down” – it’s all just a little bit fake.

The real reason I stopped caring about politics with a passion is two-fold. I got laid and then I got an xbox. After that the machinations of Gerry Brownlee and Jacinda Ardern didn’t seem to matter so much to me. I’m just not that invested in it all. Sure I like to know what is going on in the world and make the odd joke at John Key’s expense.

I like to see the video clips on facebook that make fun of something stupid Simon Bridges has said and I still have an inexplicable desire to punch John Banks in the face. But I can’t stand those “politically active” people who think they are better than you or I just because they actually go to meetings and party conferences. I say, “screw that”. I would much rather go to actual parties and I always thought meetings were for quitters.

Don’t get me wrong I still care about things.

I decried the use of fossil fuels when the Rena folded like a cheap deck of cards. I got upset at plans to drill for minerals and wrote some pretty angry facebook comments IN ALL CAPS about the sale of state assets. I even actively fight for gay marriage. I have a lot of Gay and Lesbian friends and while I don’t want to play to a stereotype they all throw epic parties. You can’t begin to imagine what the bar tab would be like.

Like many of you I even watched the Kony 2012 video and – apart from it missing a car chase or two – I found it reasonably compelling. So much so that that I even resisted most of the temptation to make a bunch of jokes after the project founder went on a naked joy-wank marathon through the city streets.

I think the real disconnection between me and politics is that I am starting to meet too many politicians these days. The ego-maniacal shit that goes on is seriously enough to make you throw up in your own mouth and it literally doesn’t matter which side you’re on and whose cool-aide you’re drinking, there is enough from all sides to repulse me. If I am honest though, the guy whose girlfriend did the article in the Waikato Times during the last election about how she had decided to vote for his party without ever disclosing they were in a relationship ... that one was a special level of douchebag behaviour.

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Feature

In the end I become so repulsed by the system and so disconnected with any ideology that in November’s general election I made the only decision my conscious would allow and voted for Les Port of Democrats for Social Credit – a party so far off the radar that I was lucky vote 170. The key criterion was that I had never actually met the guy. Don’t get me wrong, I still made sure I identified with the policies and what he was bringing to the party before casting my vote. I don’t feel like I wasted it at all.

If for no other reason, I like to look back at it now and think Mr Port was probably the sort of guy who knows all 169 other people who voted for him and I gave him a few sleepless nights.

I don’t want to get too meta at this point but the problem is that I decided to write a feature this week and I was going to talk about student apathy and politics and issues. I even wrote a crappy first draft that made me have a whiskey and listen to depressing 90s female empowerment music to drown out the sorrowful sound of me questioning my wasted life.

Then it hit me. I can turn this whole article around by restoring my own faith in politics and life and even purge the Alanis Morrisette from my stereo for good. All I had to do was find politics and engagement in its purest form before it got mixed up with reputation and ego and whatever else the kids are taking to mainline their politics these days. Where would I find these pure idealists though? Then I realised I am on a campus with a bunch of political clubs. Sure it was using Nexus resources to restore my own faith in Humanity but screw it I’m a multitasker. So there sat in my office this morning: Brendan from Waikato Young Labour, and Trish from Greens on Campus. My lifeline to politics, my redemption, my next 700 words. I love it when a plan comes together!

Me: So when did you get involved in politics?

Brendan: In 2005 I was in intermediate and one of the guys was really into Don Brash and when he lost the election we filled his desk, when we all used to have desks, with newspapers about Helen Clark winning. That was my first experience with it.

Voice inside my head: Did he just say he was in intermediate in 2005? Christ I’m old!

Brendan: But it wasn’t till the last few years of school I DECIDED to be left wing Trish: Last year my sister made me go to this camp in Wellington for the Greens and I really got inspired by what they were doing and their views on issues.

Voice inside my head: Did they all wear white robes and build a spaceship? I thought all the Greens did was smoke pot.

Trish: It was a really cool experience because prior to that the only thing I knew about the Greens was their position on pot.

Me: So where do you see yourself in five years in the party?

Trish: I guess I don’t really know I am a creative person and I just wanted to bring that dynamic to the Greens and they are really good at providing that sort of youthful environment.

Brendan: I don’t see myself being a politician if that’s what you’re thinking. When I started on campus there wasn’t a Young Labour so I could see myself working to build that environment up further. Labour is a party that has a proven track record of making change in NZ and helping out ordinary people.

Then I asked them a bunch of questions just to see if I could get them to fight. I won’t bore you with the details but on the imaginary line of ideology I learnt in first year poli-sci they were both debating who was closer to National in the centre. Like National was the kid with nitts in class that no one wanted to sit next too. They told me the campus was more centre right than centre left and then they made some fundamentally naïve points about the need for civics education and Trish’s desire to lower the voting age to 16 which isn’t as stupid as it sounds the first few times you think about it. I agree with her.

If the government says your old enough to get screwed then I say you may as well experience the crushing

disappointment of a government you voted for screwing you. Brendan meanwhile, in between campaign stump speeches was telling really amusing stories about how his good friends and his three brothers who all owned small businesses voted for National even though he had tried to convince them otherwise.

It was about that time I realised that Brendan would be a really shit hostage negotiator.

“I think you should release the hostages” “No” “Ok well I tried.”

So what did I lean from my 40 minutes with the political youth of the country? They give a shit about it all. It’s actually quite contagious. Neither one wants to be a politician but both found a home in their respective parties and a place to hang with like minded people. Did they save my soul? Nah. We may have to leave that for the religion issue. I still don’t have any faith in politicians, or the system, and I am still partial to depressing 90s girl music. But I also left with the tiniest bit of hope that with people like these two involved maybe the system will eventually fix itself.

BY SQUIDDY Feature

21

The Heading MMP Review for Dummies

Some of you may have read in Sapphire’s (Aka: Able Leader) President’s Column this week about the MMP Review that is currently underway. This brief feature is your guide to what MMP is, what the review is about, and how you might contribute.

How does MMP work?

For those not in the know, MMP, also known as the “Mixed Member Proportional” system, is our electoral system. New Zealand adopted / stole this (from Germany) as our method for electing national politicians in the early 90s after significant public dissatisfaction with the old “First Past the Post” or FPP system.

MMP works by giving you two votes on Election Day. Your most important vote is the ‘party vote’ (also called the ‘list’ vote), which determines how many seats in Parliament a party gets. In principle, the idea with the party vote is that if the Sunshine Party gets 20% of the party votes, then it gets 20% of the seats (24 of them) in Parliament.

Proponents of MMP argue this makes MMP fairer than most other systems.

Your second vote is the ‘electorate vote’, which determines who your local MP is. This person represents you on local issues and is supposed to speak on behalf of local issues in Parliament. For example, if Virgil Tracey won the electorate vote in Hamilton East, he would be our direct representative in Parliament.

Currently, the seats in Parliament are filled up with electorate seats first and then from the ‘party list’, which is a ranked list of the members of each Party. So, if the Sunshine Party won 24 seats, then the first people who take those seats the electorate winners (such as our boy Virgil Tracey). If the Sunshine Party only won 14 electorates, however, then the remaining seats would be filled up from the party list in the order the candidates were ranked, until all 24 seats have been filled up.

The Review Given that we have now had MMP for over 15 years (we’ve

22

Opinion

used it since 1996), the Government has decided that it is time for a review. You therefore now have the chance to have your say on how MMP works. To make things easy, I’ve given some examples of the areas that the review covers, with the specific issues outlined in bold.

Why would you want to do this? Some people argue that MMP has a few problems. One of these is the electoral threshold of 5%. Currently, parties must win either 5% of the party vote or an electorate seat; otherwise, they don’t make it into Parliament and their votes are wasted. For example, if the Sunshine Party won 4.07% of the party votes and no electorate seats, then they are not in Parliament. However, if the Rainbow Party won 3.65% of the party votes and 1 electorate seat, they get through, which some people think is unfair. This actually happened in the 2008 election (replace “Sunshine” with NZ First, and “Rainbow” with Act, who won Epsom), so if this riles you up, go and make a submission.

Some people also argue that it is confusing to the average pundit that list MPs (those people who get into Parliament through the party vote) can stand in a by-election, which is what happens when a current local MP resigns. This is because if a current list MP wins the by-election, they keep their current seat in Parliament and another person from that party comes in too. Confused? Exactly.

Others argue that list MPs should not be able to stand as a candidate for both an electorate seat and on a party list – for example, Virgil Tracey shouldn’t be able to stand for the Sunshine Party on the party list and for the Hamilton East electorate. After all, if Virgil can’t manage to win in Hamilton East, doesn’t this mean the voters have rejected him and he shouldn’t enter Parliament? Opponents say that this point of view is damaging for small parties, who rely on standing electorate candidates in unwinnable seats as a way to gain exposure and publicity for the party,

helping put them on an equal footing with the big parties in gaining a share of the all-important party vote.

A further source of contention is whether voters or political parties should decide the order of candidates on a party list. Currently, if you vote for the Sunshine Party, then the list seats that it wins will be filled in the order of the Sunshine Party’s party list. But what if you don’t like the third person on the list? Given their high ranking, person #3 is most likely going to make it into Parliament, even if you think they’re a bit of a dick. Some people argue that voters should have control over this, as at the moment it’s decided upon by the party themselves.

Other sources of contention arise regarding what is called ‘over hang’, which is when a party wins more electorate seats than it would be entitled to under its share of the party vote. Let’s say that the Gumdrop Party wins 2.5% of the vote, which would entitle it to around 3 seats. But, the Gumdrop Party also managed to win four electorates: Hamilton East, Hamilton West, Taranaki-King Country, and Waikato. Oh no! It has more electorate seats than it should get under the party vote. Currently, this results in what is called ‘overhang’, and the party simply gets all of its electorate seats. Some people argue that this is unfair (and also more costly, seeing as it increases the size of Parliament) and think it should be changed.

Overhang is likely to also become more of an issue due to population growth. Currently, there are seventy electorate seats in the country. However, the number of electorates is mandated by the Electoral Act: there are 16 general electorates in the South Island, and then the number in the North Island must have the same population as the South Island ones. Given that the North Island is growing faster (because of metropolises like Hamilton), this means that the effect of population growth on the ratio of electorate seats to list seats will be a problem that could

cause more overhang in the future.

Finally, the review also covers any other matter that you care about, provided that it relates to the MMP voting system – not to things like the size of Parliament, the term of Parliament, whether we should have Māori electorates, or other general electoral matters. This section is about things like, ‘should we use the Sainte-Laguë method for dividing up list seats?’ and ‘should we simply use a plurality system for determining the winner of electorate seats?’ In short, it’s likely that this section will be used by people who are focussed on the technicalities of electoral law; however, if you do have an issue that you think falls in here, you should definitely submit. At worst, you’ll just end up wasting some civil servant’s time: oh well.

Your Say If you’re keen to make a submission on any of the above, then just go to www.mmpreview.org.nz.

The deadline is 31 May, so you do have a while to get it in.

However, if you want to speak to your submission, then the deadline is April 5: this Thursday. So, if you want your chance to get up on your soapbox and rant about your problems with MMP (or your ingenious solutions for it), get cracking. If you’re happy just writing a small rant and not talking about it, however, then you still have a while.

Making a submission is surprisingly easy – the website has been designed to cater to everyone, from political science academics who want to write a 100 page thesis on the topic, right down to the slightly interested student who wants to spend five minutes ticking a few boxes and writing a couple of lines. You can even make a ‘Five Minute Submission’ where you tick the issues that you care about and write a few lines in a comments box. Click ‘send’ and you’re done. Easy.

By First Man Charlie Gillard Opinion

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Half Baked The customer is (not) always right / Delicious pie!

I’ve been working in hospo for over a decade now. I’ve handled multiple complaints and turned round many an unhappy customer to have them smiling when they leave.

After all this time I’m yet to understand the customers who ask you something and then rage at you whatever the response. If you ask me why your meal took so long and I give you an honest response, I don’t expect to be blamed for something that I have no control over. Similarly, if you tell me you have been waiting two hours for your meal, as a manager it’s my responsibility to check that against order times etc so that I can compensate you accordingly.

And when I find that your timing is exaggerated, by over half ...well, I’m going to correct you. Again, I don’t expect to be raged at for your inability to tell time (or for you to distrust me so thoroughly that you think I’m lying).

My guess is that these customers want me to bow down, and tell them that everything is my fault, and that my establishment is substandard. Well you know what? Fuck you. I’m still human, and you’re still wrong, and I’m not going to humiliate myself for your enjoyment when I’m doing a damn good job. So bite me. Anyone who has read the posts on notalwaysright.com will be familiar with this special breed of self important oblivious customer.

Some of you might be saying “it’s your job” well you can bite me too. Even as managers hospo work barely pays over minimum wage. It’s enough for me to show up to work, it’s enough for me to smile and be kind and welcoming and pleasant toward you, it’s enough for me to be gracious when you complain about shit that’s not my fault. It stops short of being enough for me to bow down and kiss your ugly ass. If you are one of these customers I have one word for you: STOP. I once read a great article on the interwebs somewhere not that I can find it now) about how ‘the customer is always right’ is a terrible mantra to run a business by. It is detrimental not only to business but sometimes to other customers as well. Anyone who has had their own evening out tarnished by the lunatic ravings of some asshat probably doesn’t need this spelt out for them. It’s also terrible for staff morale and will likely lead to high staff turnover, how many of you have left customer service jobs because you can’t stand dealing with shitty customers anymore?

Anyway /end rant This week I made waffles, because I have a waffle maker, jealous? You should be, waffles are delicious. Do you know

Mel

with

what I did next? I stuffed chocolate chips into my waffles while they were cooking and then coated them in maple syrup when they came out. I KNOW you’re jealous now...and I am rambling.

In my last 200 words I will give you this: GREEN THAI CHICKEN PIE I don’t know if any of you folks are adventurous enough to make green thai chicken curry, but it’s pretty simple: Sear about 300gms diced chicken, add a few teaspoons of green thai curry paste (depending on the brand and thus strength) and stir, then add coconut cream and simmer for 10 minutes at a low heat. Right at the end add about a tablespoon of brown sugar and stir through. Serve on jasmine rice. Eat, and die from the goodness of what you just created. Serves two.

You know what you do next? You make a massive serve so you can have some for dinner and then chuck the leftover curry and rice together in the fridge. Within a couple of days acquire some puff pastry. Take left over curry and rice; add more curry paste and enough coconut cream to make a wet mix. Stir together and then pour into the pastry you rolled out and put into a greased pie dish (or whatever you could find that approximated a pie dish).

Try to cover the pie over with the excess pastry. Bake at 230C until pastry looks puffy and golden (about 30 minutes from memory). Enjoy your delicious pie and be the envy of anyone within pie smelling radius. p.s. If you’re feeling adventurous try putting other leftovers in a pie, you’ll be amazed how well they turn out ....sometimes.

These Four Walls with Ronnie and Malebox :

Gig rating: 9/10 23/03/12

After a fantastic night cementing These Four Walls’ status as one of New Zealand’s premiere rock bands, all in attendance were left with high expectations for what promises to be a killer album, due out later this year.

The rock concert. The hallowed moment in your life when the music becomes more than just sound, the moment you can sing at the top of winy asthmatic smoker lungs and not worry that you sound worse than Courtney Love strung out on smack in 1992 (we could’ve picked any year really).

For those who have already blown your course related costs on Double Brown, Freedom Blacks and decidedly average Mei Wei Takeaways, we will endeavour to provide you with a weekly review of a concert. A review so awesome that you will abandon that Monday morning lecture and instead opt go home and cry yourself to sleep listening to My Chemical Romance, such will be your despair at not going to said gig. On that note we will now attempt recreate the epicness of last Friday

night (yes that’s a Katy Perry reference, barely).

So after 10 months of silence, These Four Walls were back, enticing us to return to our favourite NZ pub, the Kings Arms.

After the obligatory stop at Manukau Wendy’s (9/10, could’ve had a bit more sauce on the old triple Baconator) we proceeded to get lost and narrowly avoided entering Otara: troubling worries for two pasty white boys. With a bit of help from a friendly Video Ezy attendant who printed a map (G.C of the week award, he was much more helpful than the prostitute we asked for directions last time), we finally found our way to Kings Arms. Arriving late to catch the final song from Auckland rockers Decortica, we pondered how utterly terrible this would be under the influence of illicit substances ;-).

After a short wait These Four Walls came out with their unique brand of melodic hard rock, featuring the fresh sounding unconventional riffing of Gray Vickers, combining effortlessly with vocalist Steve Gibb who possesses one of the best voices in the country. Fresh from recording their second album, the band’s enthusiasm was

contagious as they played their first gig to their home crowd in almost a year. Steve and the lads blistered through a set of favourites from their debut album Down Falls an Empire, mixed with seven eagerly awaited new songs that were readily lapped up by a hungry crowd. Definite highlights from the night were news songs ‘Beautiful’, ‘Saddle Up’ and the upcoming single ‘Passenger’.

The new tunes were heavier, with more chunky riffs punctuated with the occasional scream, sending us into a good oldfashioned head bang. A poignant moment came mid- set when Steve played a solo acoustic rendition of ‘Love Song’ with a packed out Kings Arms singing it straight back to him.

Upcoming gigs: *Shihad, Altitude, Hamilton, Thursday 5th April *Decortica & Cripple Mister Onion, Kings Arms, Auckland, Thursday 5th April *P.O.D., Logan Campbell Centre, Auckland, Wednesday 11 April

Puzzles

Complete the puzzle page, bring it and show us, and you’ll go in the draw to win some sweet free stuff!

WORDS TO FIND ARGUMENTS NATIONAL GREENS LABOUR MAORI

Easy

28

Entertainment

LEADER NEXUS PARTIES RIGHTWING LEFTWING

GOVERNMENT DEBATE POLITICS CAMPUS PARLIAMENT

Medium

Face of the Week!

Make me into John Key

Hard

Kevin Goes Down on Books The Death Ray by Daniel Clowes One of the many old wives tales told at your mother’s knee is that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Metaphorically and literally, this is a load of rubbish. If a person looks like they’re a doosh, chances are that they are one. The same applies to comic books. Covers are a great way to make quick, rigid, all encompassing judgments about the contents within.

But you have to know what you’re looking for. Your average computer generated cover is as attractive as a Gold Coast meter maid. Stunning from twenty metres away, but get too close, amongst all the silicone and fake blonde hair and you’ll be wishing you’d just stayed at home and asked out that brunette in your first year English class.

Dan Clowes is like a good looking English major. He doesn’t whore himself around - to the likes of DC or Marvel, so he maintains his individuality. He’s at the forefront of contemporary comics, writing stories that are unique to the medium and aren’t easily imitated by novels or film.

Death Ray’s protagonist Andy has superhuman strength

that is activated when he smokes his first cigarette (a great message in itself), he also has access to a ray gun which can vaporise anyone he wants.

As Andy is a bit alienated from his peers, the temptation to abuse his new found power is what drives the story. Should he spurn his new abilities, use them for good, or simply wipe out every arsehole he’s ever met?

Despite my enthusiasm for Clowes this is actually far from his best work. The artwork is right up there, but story wise it’s a drop from the heights of Ghost World and David Boring.

It doesn’t really matter though. Clowes is like the Stanley Kubrick of comics. Death Ray may be more a Barry Lyndon than a 2001: a Space Odyssey, but even so it’s still better than the rest of the pack.

By Kevin Pryor

College i, n U r u o y w o When you sh tudent / staff card or WINTEC s

29 Hood Street, Hamilton Central Ph (07) 981 1321 20% o off the main meal for listed card holders only. Must present student/staff card to redeem offer. Not valid public holidays. Not valid with 29 Frequent Diner Card or any other discount. Only valid at Hog’s Breath Hamilton.

*

Thank you

I’ve lost the lot

Over the past week I have been astounded by how supportive our Hamilton Community is. In response to the Article YWRC wrote about young Stephanie, the minimum wage and underemployment that was printed in both the Nexus and Hamilton Press the YWRC received a number of emails and phone calls.

Jonathan had just completed a major assignment for a Masters paper when his computer crashed. The assignment is due in 3 days. What can he do?

Two that deserve a special mention is one lady offering Stephanie a job, and another that donated $100.00 to help get Stephanie’s bike fixed.

We as young people are facing a future with some scary policy and environmental problems however it is good to know that Hamilton still has heart and people are willing to give and help where possible. With this type of supportive and gving attitude I have confidence that we will be able to maintain a community/ society where everyone would feel comfortable raising a child.

Thanks

He can talk to his tutor and see if he can get an extension but this is not automatically granted even with the best of excuses. So he may have to have some sleepless days and nights as he recreates his assignment, and he should buy a memory stick and back up his work every night.

The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other hassles you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge data base to help answer anyone’s questions. Visit them at the Cowshed on Thursdays from 11am – 1pm during semesters or phone 838 4466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB or visit www.cab.org.nz. ).

They also have legal, advocacy and consumer services available where you can get more specialized help. Book an appointment at WSU.

Kylie Zinsli Young Workers’ Resource Cenre

Phone the CAB on 0800 367 222 (0800 FOR CAB) or look at the CAB website www.cab.org.nz

Lifestyle

33

Off the Rack with Alice and Anne Believe it or not, clothes are fairly important.

Some prude would still report the most attractive of us for indecent exposure, if we chose to wander around in our birthday suits. Clothes do come in handy – you’d definitely get a terrible case of frost-butt in winter if you wandered around with no pants on. However, the need for warm butts does not explain the majestical spectrum of fashion you see around campus.

To conclude, fashion = awesome and we will do our best to show you the amazing, atrocious, and “ahhhhh okay...?”

We might even pop in a couple of things YOU can do to keep yourself warm in the coming winter months and look fabulous at the same time (wearing clothes is the first step, but we’ll get into more detail later).

Alice & Anne

If you’re reading this column, you’re either bored in your Monday morning class, or you’re somewhat interested in fashion. Well guess what – so are we! We should probably date. With possible matchmaking advances out of the way, we are here to embark on a mystical fashion journey upon the Waikato Campus. No one is exempt! Not even the hermit-like lecturers hiding up on the 4th floor of K block.

What is fashion? Fashion might be the trackies and sweatshirt you chuck on before coming to class, or it might be the extravagant outfit you have planned from the night before (including fake moustache and monocle).

It all comes down to comfort and confidence as to which category you fall into, or a mix of the two. If you feel comfortable coming to class in a polar fleece onesie – then by all means, get amongst it! Fashion is expression, whether you like it or not. You might want to tell the world you were late getting up this morning and all you could manage to put on was a variant of your pyjamas and odd socks. However, your choice of odd socks might be communicating your dislike of society’s norms when paired with a Mohawk and toenail piercings.

We love it all – the terrible Kathmandu jackets + tights combination, the dark re-growth on bleached blonde hair (it’s hard being a poor student) and even the people who wear sunglasses inside (are you secretly a mutant who can’t control the laser beams which escape from your eyes?!). This is a celebration of Waikato students and what they wear – from the sport and leisure kids to never seem to be without their trainers and sports bags, to the law students who aimed for Judge Judy and ended up looking like the belong on Jeremy Kyle. You all know what we mean. Then again, it’s those Faculty of Arts and Social Science kids who really raise the question of “your flatmate let you out of the house in that?!”

34

Fashion

Things that make us go...

Ooo! Aren’t you lovely!

Tailored jackets and big scarves Cute dresses (Hamilton weather permitting...)

Knitted beanies (keeping those smart little noggins warm!)

Uhhhh?

Jeggings (unless you’re going to the gym, or are pregnant – think of the children!)

Skirts with uneven hem lines (including but not limited to any form of “mullet skirt”) Photos by Louise Hutt

On Campus Asking random people stupid questions.

1) What’s your name?

2) What are you studying?

3) Did you vote in the last election?

4) Do you give a shit about politics?

5) Which politician would you bone?

1) JP Joubert 2) Computer Graphic Design 3) Yes 4) Not really 5) I’d only consider it if I was bent

1) Jake Roche 2) Early Childhood 3) Yes 4) Hell yes!

5) Yes, hell yes I do, that Sehai chick coz shes the only young hot one I can think of 1) Jamie Killen 2) Computer Graphic Design 3) Yes 4) Yea man, its important to know who’s in charge so they don’t fuck you over 5) The blonde chick that was running for mayor of Hamilton I can’t remember the name, she was hot 1) Sada Charlie 2) BMS 3) No 4) Sort of, I’m doing a paper now that is about business, the government and society. At the moment we are looking at policies regarding parties in parliament. And I’m really against National selling state owned assets.

I don’t want to see New Zealanders become foreigners in their own land.

5) They’re all old!

36

Opinion

International Celebrity Showcase - Piers Lane Piers Lane is a Londonbased Australian pianist.

Piers Lane’s programme will include works by Bartok, Debussy and Liszt, with the second half devoted to the complete waltzes of Chopin with Piers’ own introduction and commentary.

Friday 13 April 2012 8:00 PM Gallagher Academy of Performing Arts Launch of the Canadian-NZ Studies Unit The University of Waikato is proud to have the first Canadian-New Zealand Studies Unit (CNZSU) supported by the Canadian Government.

As part of the ceremony, the High Commissioner of Canada to New Zealand, Ms Chrétien will open the photographic exhibition ‘Accessible Arctic’ from the Canadian Geographic collection.

Monday 2 April 2012 5:00 PM Student Centre- Te Manawa Email: rsvp@waikato.ac.nz

Doctoral Writing Conversations Focusing on methodology: Invited speaker conversation with Professor Darrin Hodgetts and Dr Maureen Marra. Doctoral students from all Faculties are welcome.

Wednesday 11 April 2012 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM Faculty of Education, Rooms A & B, T.2.27 Email: marcia@waikato.ac.nz

find out more:

events. waikato.ac.nz

2012 Inaugural Professorial Lecture Series Working towards a socially relevant, responsive and engaged societal psychology by Professor Darrin Hodgetts.

Tuesday 17 April 2012 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM Gallagher Academy of Performing Arts

Heading Did You See? P.Digss at FLOW - 24th March 2012

By Bernard Williams ( Do U C ? Photography )

Flow! Did U go?

It’s underground and unrated but I think U should know.

Peacekeeper A.K.A. P.Digsss popped in just last Saturday, and I hope U GOT 2 C him RIP SHIT UP in a major way!!!

Locals, or ‘Flowcals’ as they have sometimes been known, were joined by an array of new faces, and allsorts started showing. Some were new to Hamilton, and some had come from out of town, but all of them had come to party with Peacekeeper to step it up and get down!!!

Opening was FF, he set the mood for the night, flipping various vinyl’s with ill skill, his mixing is tight. Raph & Mike Scherger played an amazing acoustic set, with guitar and percussion techniques that demanded respect. It acquired attention quickly and as the numbers grew; the duo drew the crowd down to the dance floor for a more intermit view. Then good old Dold delivered his gold to the decks next, Seamlessly serving slices of solid bullion his beats intricate and complex.

All of the acts above had helped set the stage. For the antics about to occur and that U Can C on the Do U C Facebook page.

I asked P. Digsss what he had lined up for the night.

His simply reply, “a loud, banging set.” And blesssed be, he was right! As always he put on one hell of a show and delivered only the best, proving he was the perfect person to put flow’s new horns to the test.

Ripping it on the mic is only half of Peacekeepers show, P Digsss places his percussion playful yet with precision he is obviously a pro. Mixing up Ini Komeze, Shapeshifter even some Skrillex and more, he dealt up some drum and bashed out some bass, to an absolutely amping dance floor.

Outside we went to chill and chat if we needed a break, but some stayed strong with the Sunshine Sound System leaving people like me in their wake. As U Can C it was a [Flow] standard, yet famously awesome affair, Moetu Smith from Knights of the Dub Table, Hyperkaine and other cool cats were there.

38

Section

Completing and complementing the experience for the people was the lighting and smoke, the drinks deals at flow are also all so awesome for strapped students like me who are broke.

Kicking in after P Digsss had amped up the crowd, was Willapede who violated the vicinity and shit got extra loud. Tampering with the tempo and twisting every dial, he merged many genres to make his own style. This guy munches and mashes the music like no other, and word to the wise, keep his madness away from your mother.

So what’s on the cards for next week, well it’s not quite a review just a different view, this was kind of a sneak peak.

But make sure U C Shihad when they play Altitude on April Five.

Then I’LL C U back at Flow on the 28th to see Optimus Gryme and friends live.

I asked P. Digsss what he had lined up for the night.

His simply reply, “a loud, banging set.”

And blessed be, he was right!