Nexus Issue 9

WAIKATO’S FREE STUDENT MAGAZINE

THE CULTURE ISSUE

Issue Nine May 14th 2012

New student fiction in

Cereal LEFT vs

RIGHT IS BACK HP meets

Jahna

Plus our guest Feature Writer actually wants students to do something...

1

Editorial with Sean ingitanga Day, probably known to most of you this week as Wednesday, is a day off uni, but also a day to celebrate the Maori King Movement.

Kingitanga Day plays a key role in Waikato University culture, so therefore Nexus has a timely reason to theme this week’s issue ‘Culture’. All you need to do is open your minds and prepare them to be broadened.

Most people in the U.S.A. think that our little south-pacific nation is a part of Australia, it’s not. The way I see it New Zealand is Australia’s spoilt little brother, we have all the culture, they have all the jobs. Australia can have their superior job market and U.S.-rivaling economy as far as I’m concerned because economic wealth is superficial, but a wealth in culture is something you can carry with you and is that thing that makes you proud of your homeland at the end of the day.

Aotearoa - The Land of the Long White Cloud. Now let that resonate in your head for a bit, how awesome does that name sound! When you read that it probably made you think we’re the land of milk and honey. Well ironically we are - full-fat and manuka. And if by some chance you weren’t impressed by the meaning of Aotearoa, try Australia, it means ‘southern’. Yeah, who’s rich now Aussies! But enough about that, just as you thought Nexus would fall into the trap that every Kiwi loves by trying to prove how much better we are than Australia, Nexus will convince you why our rich culture means we don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

You definitely know New Zealand is big on culture when it has two first names, two national anthems, and two

electoral roles. It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, only embraced. It demonstrates that our country recognises both Pakeha and Maori culture as cornerstones in the formation of modern-day New Zealand, a feat that we have achieved with considerable less bloodshed and discrimination than other countries. Although our nation continues to disagree over the Treaty of Waitangi and the ownership of various land and sea territories, we manage to enter and exit discussions without trying to assassinate opposition leaders or having bomb threats terrorise the nation. Commendable.

It’s easy to realise what you like and dislike about New Zealand culture after you’ve lived overseas. I recommend it to all Nexus readers. You will certainly realise that only in New Zealand culture is our sarcastic humour fully understood and appreciated, and that we are insecure and can’t deal with criticism about our nation in any form.

Patriotism maybe, I’ll side with hard-headedness, but that’s who we are, we don’t like anyone having a dig at us.

Kingitanga means different things to different people. The most involved I have been with the Kingitanga Movement is dining next to the Maori King in a Hamilton restaurant (I never thought I would have the opportunity to dine with royalty at Gengy’s) and writing this editorial. On Wednesday I don’t expect you to come to university and get involved nor do I think any differently of you for that, but you can still take time to reflect on Kiwi culture as a whole. Are you proud to be a Kiwi? Would you raise your children here? Could you imagine calling another country home?

Most people in the U.S.A. think that our little south-pacific nation is a part of Australia, it’s not. The way I see it New Zealand is Australia’s spoilt little brother, we have all the culture, they have all the jobs.

Editorial

33

Editors Alix Higby and Sean Goulding Design Katrina McIntosh (design@nexusmag.co.nz) Design Interns Anna Bennett, Eva Hou, Shaun Jay Advertising Troy Arkell (ads@nexusmag.co.nz) Cover Art Hika Taewa www. hikataewa.co.nz News and Subbing Daniel the news and subbing penguin Managing Editor James Raffan (james@nexusmag.co.nz) News Wintec Writers Mark Derbyshire, Kim Laubscher, Anthony Momoemausu Wintec Photographers Nikita Oliver, Kim Laubscher, Shannon Rolfe Special thanks to www.waikatoindependent.co.nz Contributors President Sapphire Gillard, Amber the Advocate, Priscilla Ngatai, Mr. Minty Fish, Something Hip, Hoory Yeldizian, Dr Richard Swainson, Mel Matthews, Courtney Quinn, Alice and Anne, Kevin Pryor, Kylie from YWRC, Jill from CAB, Julia Gabel, Craig Barrett, Scratch, Murray Riches, Amber the Advocate, Nick Marryatt, Ronnie and Malebox, Constable Nick Sickelmore, Alvina Edwards, HP, Bernard Williams, DC, Skippy, Pseudonym and the glorious indestructable 8 ball.

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS MAGAZINE, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, OR ANYONE ELSE IN PARTICULAR.

Nexus Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton.

Phone: 07 856 9139 Email: editor@nexusmag.co.nz

What’s Inside?

Features 14 17

You’ve gotta fight for your right to study Have you met Jahna?

News 6 6 13

News Short News Hot Fuzz

Opinion 3 5 10 23 24 25 26 27 30 36

Editorial How Saph Sees It Left vs. Right Auteur House Mr. Minty Fish Diary of a Hipster The Secret Lives of First Years Lettuce How To Verbose Verbiage

Lifestyle 20 21 31 36 38 39

Lick that Spoon Half Baked with Mel Off the Rack Cereal YWRC, CAB, Ask Amber Tangata Tumeke

Entertainment 18 22

8 Ball and Horrorscopes Puzzles

Reviews 12 28 32

Gig Review Did You See? Books, Game, cafe, film and Comic Reviews

How Saph Sees It ulture reminds me of a paper I took as an undergrad: “Communicating across Cultures’, which - perhaps somewhat obviously - dealt with how to communicate with different cultures.

This paper did, however, teach me a lot about what the foundations of culture. A lot of it revolves around world views and how these are created. So continuing with the theme of over sharing, I thought we’d chat about the diversity of NZ using my nutty family as an example.

Also, I thought this would be a good place to consider the bullying culture that we need to rid NZ of.

Culture is influenced by heaps of things: religion and ethnicity being just two. If you haven’t had the privilege of meeting my extended family, I’d forgive you for thinking I’m a typical white girl (if redheads can ever be typical).

But, this isn’t quite the case. My grandparents are a mix of Fijian, NZ European, NZ Eurpean/Maori, and Dutch.

They’ve smuggled bibles into China while others have burnt bibles in NZ. They’re from catholic, jehovah witness, atheist, and pentecostal backgrounds, and my aunts and uncles have added a wider range of religious beliefs to this list. So, if I was a cat or dog, I definitely wouldn’t be pure breed – I think I’d be rather confused. So what does this mean? I don’t really know. For me it means I’ve lived through a wide range of experiences and think I’m a more accepting and balanced person because of it. Also, while I haven’t met a family quite like mine, I’d be willing to bet that most NZers have mixed heritage, which is something we should celebrate.

Differences are good things. I love my family to pieces and all our differences make us that much better. So if difference is good and should be celebrated, then why is bullying still a problem? Hopefully, you’ve been challenged at university and found a space that works for you. But if we look at the news bullying is a huge problem within NZ. We need to do something about it, which is why you should support Pink Shirt Day. This Friday wear your pink shirt to show your power to prevent bullying.

Want to know more check out www.pinkshirtday. co.nzWant to be involved in the on campus stuff? Email me: president@wsu.org.nz

BULLYING :

Where’s the

power? what

you do makes the

difference!

Wear a pink shirt.

Friday 18 May

www.pinkshirt.org.nz

Pink Shirt Day is May 18, 2012.

Opinion

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News 48 Hour Film Festival celebrates 10 years

Allowance cuts may put students off

By Mark Derbyshire

By Kim Laubscher

This year’s V48 Hour Film Festival celebrates 10 years of frantic movie making in New Zealand.

In 2002, Auckland film buff Ant Timpson gave 40 teams of between one and 40 people a genre, a prop, and a line of dialogue to be used in the film. He then gave them 48 hours to make a movie.

University students say student allowance cuts will discourage people from pursuing postgraduate study.

Apeing around: Paul Barlow with the V48 Hours regional award trophy.

Photo: Nikita Oliver

This formula was so successful that a decade later 800 teams nationwide give up an entire weekend and

sacrifice precious sleep, all for the honour of being the ‘best of the fest’. But Hamilton festival manager Paul Barlow believes that the Waikato needs to pick up its game before our region brings any awards home.

“Last year’s films were, in terms of story, the worst we’ve ever had,” said Mr Barlow. “We need to start telling better stories.”

Mr Barlow has been managing the Hamilton region of the festival for seven years – organising promotions, arranging teams, and liaising with the press, police and local council.

Mr Barlow’s job, while stressful and challenging at times, gave him the chance to meet his hero Peter Jackson, who is the festival’s ‘wild-card’ judge. He received a phone call last year from Jackson, also concerned by the quality of our region’s entries.

When asked about confirmed numbers for the event, Mr Barlow says: “Registration has been slow this year, but there’s always a last minute rush.”

Teams have until May 14 at 10am to enter, with filming from May 18-20.

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News

“This is my fourth year, and this could change my decision on whether I continue to do my Masters,” said James Manning, a English and media arts honours student at Victoria University.

James Manning at the Waikato University graduation on the 3rd of May. Photo: Kim Laubscher

Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce announced on May 1 that the student allowance would be limited

to four years of study to try to control its increasing cost. Students can receive up to $206.73 a week student allowance, depending on how much their parents earn.

Jane Currie is studying honours in psychology and hopes to become a clinical psychologist. She gets the student allowance and some child support.

She already has an honours degree in economics but discovered her passion for psychology after she began counselling people with cancer for the charity she founded, Health Journeys. Jane, who is herself a breast cancer survivor, believes that psycho oncology, the psychology of having cancer, is an area under researched in New Zealand.

She says people in her class are talking about cutting their studies short because of the allowance changes.

“What we are doing is saying you can get an education only if you have a bit of finance behind you.” She believes the cuts will affect those taking on longer degrees.

“A lot of the areas affected are the ones where the government says there is a workforce shortage. We need psychologists, we need dentists, medical people and engineers. ”

Politicians face off against Waikato celebrities to help Alzheimers.

By Anthony Momoemausu Politicians will face off against teams of Waikato celebrities this year in the annual Parliamentary Sports Trust games – and a Waikato charity will benefit.

With the support of the Waikato Rugby Union, this year’s rugby clash will serve as the curtain raiser to the ITM Cup fixture between Waikato and Hawkes Bay at Waikato Stadium on October 13.

After a previous attempt, Hamilton West MP Tim Macindoe has succeeded in his bid for the exhibition rugby match to raise funds for Alzheimers Waikato.

With Hauraki-Waikato MP, Nanaia Mahuta, Macindoe submitted a joint bid to the Trust to host the rugby and netball fixtures in Hamilton. The charity contests will pit the parliamentary rugby and netball teams against Waikato celebrities.

“I’m really excited to have been allocated the games, I think that’s terrific.

Riddle saw this event as a great opportunity to generate some publicity while more importantly raise funds for families affected by the disease.

“It’s great because it will mean a lot more publicity for us and hopefully some more funds.

“We use the funds directly to support the people with Dementia and their families and it goes straight back into providing staff so that we can do that.”

Alzheimers Waikato is a cause close to the heart for Macindoe who has been working to try and help them get re-established. He hopes the events will bring in a large sum.

The recruitment of teams is now underway and the Waikato celebrities side will be captained by Classic Hits breakfast host Mark ‘Bunty’ Bunting In addition, Macindoe appealed to the public to contact him if they had any sporting memorabilia they would like to donate to raise further funds for Alzheimers Waikato.

“I’m enjoying working with Nanaia Mahuta. I think it’s a good example of how politicians from different parties can work together for a good cause,” Macindoe said.

Macindoe was unsuccessful in his first bid two years ago to obtain the charity event but at the time the successful event was decided by a ballot. This year he says he worked hard in his submission alongside Mahuta.

“It was just a ballot at that stage … this time they [Parliamentary Sports Trust] did it differently and I put a lot of effort into my submission and they’ve approved it.

“That’s why I’m working with Nanaia Mahuta now to bring netball and rugby to Hamilton.”

Alzheimers Waikato chairperson Robyn Riddle welcomed the idea of the charity games to raise funds as the organisation looks to build its services.

Alzheimers Waikato has developed a new committee and structure, and Riddle praised Macindoe’s support through a difficult time.

GAME PLAN: Tim Macindoe has successfully lobbied to raise funds for Alzheimers Waikato.

Photo: Shannon Rolfe News

7

Hamilton gets social

By Daniel Farrell

Real men wear pink shirts, but call it ‘Man-Salmon’

By Murray Riches

Hamilton’s first Social Media Club event was held on Wednesday at the somewhat unknown cafe, Milk and Honey.

One of the event organisers was Adam Smith, a social media consultant at Eight80, a social media consultation firm. He told Nexus that “There are heaps of networking events in Hamilton but nothing with a focus on social media, or any focus for that matter! We wanted to bring a networking event to Hamilton that held some value and wasn’t just a bunch of small business owners trying to sell their services to each other.”

The first event saw Richard Irvine, Social Media Manager for Telecom New Zealand speak of how social media has gone right for Telecom and how it’s gone wrong, particularly looking back at the XT saga.

Mr Smith said the second Social Media Club event was being planned right now. He also said they are hoping for events to be held on a monthly basis. He added “Anyone who likes free beer should come along.”

More details about Social Media Club Hamilton can be found at facebook.com/HamiltonSMC or twitter.com/ HamiltonSMC.

Bullying can be subtle and often invisible. It includes the way a partner may make you feel self-conscious or embarrassed in order to maintain control over the relationship; or a parent who makes you feels guilty or worthless to achieve dominance. That random chap that looks at you all judgy-like when you break a social convention or wear something a little exocentric… these are all forms of bullying!

But bullying doesn’t have to be directed at any one person in particular. Bullies are also people who think it’s funny to make racist jokes, or use words like ‘gay’ and ‘fag’ as negative slang. These jokes and words are often shrouded in cultural norms and assertions that they are ‘just a joke’ – but the reality is they hurt people. They strip people of self-belief, and are incredibly disempowering.

MP forgets how the English language works

But that’s why bullies do it. Bulling is all about getting power over someone; desperately trying to assert dominance and undermine others. While we can feel compassion for those who have this desperate need for power, we don’t have to accept it.

By Daniel Farrell

Friday the 18th of May in Pink Shirt Day. Pink shirt day is a day when we let others know that we have the power! We have the power to challenge bullying; to change our own behavior and stop perpetuating prejudice; and we have the power to let others know that bullying, in all its forms, is lame; is harmful; and is totally not acceptable.

ACT MP John Banks has become confused over a question from Radio Live reporter, Frances Cook.

Cook called Banks to ask about donations from Kim Dotcom, which were claimed to be anonymous when it was allegedly known they were from Dotcom. Banks was asked about donations from Dotcom and SkyCity, which Banks seemed to think meant Cook was asking about whether he went with Dotcom to SkyCity.

Banks was later asked if he had any relationship with Dotcom. He responded saying it was “offensive” and he had no relationship with Dotcom as he was “a married man”. He then terminates the call. Cook calls back to explain that she meant a business relationship, which he would not listen to and hung up the phone again.

8

Most of us have experienced bullying at some time in our life. Often conversation about bullying focuses on the verbal and physical harassment young people inflict on one another at school. However, bullying is not limited to the school yard. While we may have left the primal hierarchies of the high-school corridor behind, many of us are still confronted by, and often guilty of, bullying in our daily lives.

News

So join me this Friday and wear a pink shirt to show your support.

Key sees no sluts. Obviously never been to Taranaki Prime Minister John Key refuted claims by the conservative party leader that New Zealand women were among the most promiscuous in the world. Mr Key said there was no evidence to support the statement. The sweeping generalisation certainly doesn’t apply the lovely women of this fine campus. But surely the fact that there is Mrs Bill English and a Mrs Gerry Brownliee proves that some New Zealand women will just…..

To Bi or not to Bi...this is not a question In the New York Post this week New Zealander Anna Paquin was defending her bisexuality. This isn’t short news , this isn’t even actual news. No one should ever have to defend their sexuality or the choices they make about their partner and they certainly shouldn’t have to do it in national media. At best, depending entirely on the circumstances the only time anyone should have to prove their bi-sexuality is at a pub after a few drinks when your long time girl or boyfriend points to someone attractive of the same sex and says “ I would totally get on that if they were up for it”

1920’s Cocktail Mixer

Come along and help fundraise for the Enderlezy Park Community Centre

When: 18th May, 7pm Where: House on Hood

$5 Entry Fee

Hosts:

Sponsors:

ST U D E N T EVENTS

Contact: 027 7536383

studenteventz@groups.facebook.com

Short News Cinco de Drunko Police in a small town in the state of Pennsylvania are on high alert after a truck was stolen just a day before Cinco de Mayo, the day of the dead or as students around America know it the annual day to get really drunk and pretend to have Mexican accent. It’s kind of like St Patrick’s day but with more Tequila. Now normally a stolen truck wouldn’t be an issue except this was a Corona truck housing approximately 3,600 DOZEN beer. Now we aren’t cops but surely that has to be pretty easy to find.

You let people know we are looking for the guys who: A) Are buying 1800 lemons B) Just purchased the entire “Sublime “ discography C) Just brought four kilograms of weed

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T F E L

T H RIG

10

!!

Join Waikato Fair Trade Collective for an afternoon of

Free Fair Trade Goodies Fun Activities Films Music Presentations by Oxfam Trade Aid Freeset and more!

Thursday 10th May 11-5 Tuesday 15th may 11-5 Meet us at the

Ground floor of the Library

THE

GIG REV IEW Crazy Nights with Ronnie and Malebox : Sonic Altar, World War Four, In Dread Response 5/05/12-Kings Arms Saturday night had rolled around once again, and once again we found ourselves at the Kings Arms, bracing ourselves for the metal onslaught of World War Four, Sonic Altar, and In Dread Response. Actually, Malebox did not find himself at the Kings Arms, but rather somewhere in the far north, surrounded by hay chewin’, overall wearin’, pitchfork totin’ hillbillies, whilst spending a significant amount of time perched on the long drop after barely stomaching the carrot and road kill stew at dinner. Welcome to Waitangi.

Back at the Kings Arms, after catching up with Axeman Paul Martin, host of the Axe Attack metal radio show and front man of World War Four, the crowd was starting to drift in while Paul and the boys made their way to the stage. The guys launched into a set of stellar riff based heavy metal, blazing through a selection of songs from their new Ghost/Face album, and closed with a well received version of the Black Sabbath classic ‘War Pigs’.

All three members are obviously very accomplished musicians, with Paul’s 12

Reviews

Dimebag influenced riffing and bends, and the rumbling bass of Nathan Waters, but by the end of the set it was drummer Rene Harvey that stole the show in my opinion, with some epic fills during ‘War Pigs’ that would give Bill Ward a run for his money. My only complaint regarding their set was the lack of people in the crowd, however those who were in attendance were into it, head banging and moshing to the delight of the band.

Next up were Sonic Altar, their music can be described as power metal with a modern, heavy edge, featuring the powerful, Iron Maiden influenced vocals of Kane Bennett, who is easily the best metal singer in the country, hitting higher notes than Bieber, except Kane is a man. The lads opened with crowd favourite ‘Window of Time’, from their debut album No Sacrifice, before ripping their way through a set that included more tracks from said album, along with several new heavier tracks, which got the crowd moshing like there was no tomorrow, with people climbing on each other’s shoulders and dudes slipping over left

right and centre on the beer soaked floor. The place went off when they launched into their version of Pantera’s ‘Cemetery Gates’, with bodies flying all over the place, in a true bogan salute to Dimebag.

Closing the night were Auckland thrash/death metallers In Dread Response, being more hardcore then Jihad, these guys didn’t really fit with the other two bands. The furious moshpit of Sonic Altar had since passed out in the garden bar, leaving In Dread Response to play to a more chilled crowd who seemed content with bobbing their heads rather than throwing their bodies into one another.

Despite this, the band delivered a short and sweet set loaded with brutal death growls and blistering leads, bringing an end to a kick ass night.

Gig rating – \m/

Hot Fuzz Crime Map

If you have any questions, please contact the University Community Constable Nick Sickelmore.

Nicholas.Sickelmore@police.govt.nz 07 858 2792

Unlawfully Takes a Motor Vehicle Burglary Assault

Lifestyle Section

13

You’ve gotta fight for your right to study

14

Guest column written by Alvina Edwards am a mature student not yet 55 years old. If all the proposed changes to student loan and allowance entitlements were in effect I would have never considered being a student.

I am also a mother who has adult children that have just recently qualified and are crippled by large student debt.

I have younger children who are contemplating University and are now facing a much more difficult path. Student debt and entitlement is an issue that effects everyone. I feel for my kids who will never know the freedom I enjoyed in my studies.

Prior to participating in the HIKOI in Wellington, the announcement was made about the proposed changes to both student loans and allowances.

Returning back to Hamilton, I noted there had been no public action made known from Waikato. Auckland University students, had created a site asking people to come to a student forum at University of Auckland l Wednesday to vote for action against cuts to student allowances.

So people started to get to work here.

Students are invited to an initial planning forum to organise ourselves [plan strategically] what action we will take against the cuts to student allowances and changes to student loans. This could be public protest at the National MP’s Offices; a petition; or simply speaking to students at lectures and around the campus; whatever the forum considers practical, possible and powerful. This is political and we need to ascertain who supports us as students?

We need to inform campus, then local and wider contributing communities. Future students need to make informed decisions about their education; Current and future students need the opportunity to stand up and say that they are part of the population of this University and they want a say in their future.

Although the Vice-Chancellor Roy Crawford recently stated they anticipated the changes would have little effect on undergraduates, as student loans remained interestfree, but he was concerned by the proposed four-year cap on student allowances.” ....It is believed that he is already on our side however we need to make sure this is fact. He states the government was not clear around this but it seems clear to many of us as students.

So, we welcome the support from all students, and all other support will follow.

1. A facebook site has been created: ‘Waikato Students for Access to Tertiary Education’ [http://www.facebook.com/ groups/445061942173836/] Please join. We will be updating the events site and other tabs on the future plans. There is also the opportunity to express your thoughts, we do ask that this is taken seriously and it is not a site for random opposition to what we are trying to achieve OR you will be banished, with one flick of the wrist. If you choose to oppose start your own site and feed off each other. We would hope that supporters will engage and participate where they can; we also acknowledge that this is a very important time of the academic year and studies are first priority.

2. At Waikato there is far too much ‘apathy’ so we need to challenge this, on May 29th 2012 this government

will deliver their black budget against students– we need to oppose this and have our voices heard, now not after it all over.

The changes to allowances mean students who wanted to study beyond four years would have to take on more student loan debt or find money from other sources, Green Party student’s spokesperson Holly Walker said at the time. “This is the first step in a dangerous attack on students that will result in fewer people moving into tertiary education,” It has already been sliding off the tongues of many “the student allowance cuts are short sighted and negative for New Zealand” Further, Sue Bradford recently said “We need to build awareness here in Aotearoa that the ‘manufacturing a crisis’ method used by the National to justify all their cutbacks to jobs, state housing, education etc - & privatisations - is just as fallacious, & dangerous.

Facts about some of the changes 1. A student who was aged 55 or over For study starting on or after 1 January 2013 students who are aged 55 years or over will only be entitled to borrow the compulsory fees component of the Student Loan.

These students will not be entitled to receive either the living costs or course-related costs components of a Student Loan. A transitional age provision may apply if you were enrolled in a qualification as at 19 May 2011 and will be continuing that study on and after 1 January 2013.

A student who was aged 55 or over as at 19 May 2011, or who will be 55 and over at 1 January 2013 will be eligible to continue to access all components of the Student Loan Feature

15

to complete the qualification they were enrolled in as at 19 May 2011 (provided they meet all other loan eligibility criteria. This provision will end once the student has completed the qualification they were enrolled in at 19 May 2011, or on 1 January 2015, whichever occurs first.

Now that was the information, this is my comment, its discrimination, unfair, bizarre and has possible Human rights issues. For example, when the so called recession hit, many around that age group and older started studies, then there is the mature student’s that are the second chance learners. Personally learning is forever, and a government is going to restrict this. Finally, it demeans growing old and being a mature student at University.

2. Student Loan repayments that will rise from 10- 12% This was obtained by another student Kenney Bell from Grant Robertson: The repayment rate is laid down in the Student Loan Scheme Act, and section 37(3) notes that the repayment rate can be varied by regulation (i.e. it does not require a change to the law). To make matters worse section 203 of the Student Loan Act says: This Act overrides loan contracts (1) This Act applies despite anything to the contrary in any loan contract.

(2) All loan contracts must be interpreted in a manner that is consistent with this Act. (3) If a loan contract cannot be interpreted in a manner that is consistent with this Act, then this Act prevails over the terms of the loan contract. So, if the repayment rate is altered in the Act through a regulatory change it overrides the contract. Unfair, yes, but in law it seems they can do it. The other thing 16

Feature

the Act does say is that borrowers have to be notified of any change to the contract. So they will have to write to all borrowers, but my take is that they can make the change.

However you resign the loan every year, that you continue studying.

I think that we all agree that the change is unfair and the student loan contracts are currently misleading, about the repayment rate so this is certainly something, which we need to challenge.

3. Student Allowance cut at four years; I will repeat an earlier piece of this article, that the changes to allowances mean students who wanted to study beyond four years would have to take on more student loan debt or find money from other sources and that this is the first step in a dangerous attack on students that will result in fewer people moving into tertiary education.

The allowance cuts will mean more student loans – go figure- what impact will taking a loan have?

Weekly reductions of income, so will the food be further sacrificed?

BUT the issue and concern is HOW

they can just do this? and what are the other impact’s - for example it takes four years to complete a law degree - then you have to do professionals - that doesn’t include any desired post graduate-what about the science degrees, medical degrees – they already lack the numbers – this will contribute to lower enrolments?

Finally, I am a mature student not yet 55 years old, I would have never considered being a student if it meant all of the previous changes that I have mentioned. I also have my adult children that have just recently qualified and have large student debt, I feel for them and their dreamt freedom.

In short, should we just roll over and accept - NO - stand up fight back!

This is only the start; we need to fight to bring the voice of the student into Parliament. And this is what we intend to do!

We need to inform campus, then local and wider contributing communities. Future students need to make informed decisions about their education; Current and future students need the opportunity to stand up and say that they are part of the population of this University and they want a say in their future.

Have you met Jahna?

By HP his week Kingitanga day will be a little different with the Village Green filled with three separate musical acts put on by the WSU. Bay of plenty blues musician Grant Haua joins locals Watson Tuhua and a reformed Jahna to make a line up of really interesting things. I got to speak to one of those interesting things recently, although I should probably refer to him correctly as Pete Fountain of the band Jahna.

Some of you may remember Jahna from the late 90’s as an acoustic duo and then full band that was the brainchild of Pete and St Lucy’s Mark Tupuhi. Well they’re back. Not that they actually ever left. Pete has a solo album out and is working on his second, while Mark has been making music under the St Lucy banner as well producing independent music for some time.

“We’re more mature now sure” Pete says. “Our material is not light, it’s from something, y’know? It’s a story we want to tell or an emotion” Despite this occasional serious comment, Pete is really focused on having a good time. He says the band excels when they’re relaxed and enjoying themselves. The audience will sense what I sensed from Pete and what I am sure is emulated in Mark. A comfortable manner. A band and individual musicians that have so much depth, history and experience that music flows through them. A sound that doesn’t have to be forced or manufactured, it’s as easy as lying down.

Not that the pair are dishing up generic or tired sounds. The songs are humorous, they’re provoking and they tell a good yarn. Pete admits that they’ve softened over the years, but listening to him discuss songs like Work on Time and The Rain Song it sounds as though they’ve grown as song writers, not softened.

So at 1:10 pm Weds the 16th, head down to the Village Green to catch Jahna. Pete seems really looking forward to the gig and offered to catch up with music students or those interested to discuss making a go of it as a musician in NZ. Worth your while I’d say.

Pete describes the reformed dynamic duo as more of Lennon and McCartney rock and roll outfit, but on acoustic guitars. The sound, an exciting one. Pete explained that influences like Punk and Reggae had their moments in the band too.

That, and the sparks between the pair, helped the music keep a sharper edge than perhaps some of the tamer images that are conjured by the idea of an acoustic duo.

Pete explained they were always quite keen on being rock stars. Both he and Mark were young dads when the band formed s and perhaps with juggling their family lives a little, the image of rock star didn’t quite mesh.

In saying that, support acts for like of Bic Runga and Fur Patrol is no mean feat and the pair were right in the thick of the NZ music scene before they disbanded in the early 2000’s.

Thankfully for us, the pair have reformed and that rock and roll vibe and creative prowess hasn’t left.

In 1999 Pete fountain answered an ad in Nexus magazine that would change his life forever. 13 years later he is back at the University with a reformed Jahna ready to play Kingitanga day. We sent our new music reviewer HP to have a chat with him.

Music

17

There was a general in my armies who was in love with himself. He wore fine three piece suits with vests made of silk and mocked those who didn’t. He only ate at the finest of restaurants and used to laugh at those that would eat with their hands. Once he took great delight in discussing the works of the great Sun Tzu and sharing his knowledge with those who didn’t. He could speak every native tongue and could trump every story.

He was without doubt the most cultured warrior in all of the land and his fine civility was matched only by his disdain for the uncultured. I wore a warriors armour and ate when I was hungry. I knew only the language of pain and misery and I smiled as I shredded the last of his three piece suit and corpse in my blender and said aloud to know one “Sun Tzu didn’t see that coming did he…”

Question Time Eight Ball are the horror-scopes real?

My answer is Yes You believe that I am an all seeing clarvoyent matel toy who once ruled multiple dimensions and will answer your questions. Why not keep suspending disbelief. I would tell you more but I have got to go have a threesome with the Easter Bunny and Santa.

8Ball, is that a drug reference?

Can’t concentrate. Think harder and try again.

Am I a drug reference? You’re asking an inanimate plastic object. Perhaps the real question should be are you on drugs. If so what kind and where can I get some. Living in a toy box is real shit aye.

Eight Ball. Seriously is the Carnage Column and Babe of the week coming back. You keep saying yes but it’s the only reason I keep picking up this mag. That and sports thoughts. Are we going to see some quality damage or what?

My answer is (still) yes.

I have seen it. I have foretold it but that is where my work ends. The rest is up to you. Find the gifted carnage writer he will have red hair!

Email your questions through to 8ball@nexusmag.co.nz

Aries: Whether it’s the way the light hits their face or just something in the stars you will realise your lecturer is a total L.I.L.F Taurus: You will find your soul mate at Kingitanga day, unless of course your soulmate thought they could really use the day off. You won’t know unless you show up.

Gemini: Effort will be at the forefront of your mind this week. You will be tempted to try really hard to succeed but just remember some of the people you respect and admire the most have said things like “I had this really great idea but then I was all like nah so I got some noodles and watched cartoons instead” Cancer: Meeting your best friends older sister or brother will force you to way up your friendship.

FYI friends older siblings are great at keeping things quiet and the danger makes it all way more exciting.

Leo: This University thing just doesn’t seem to be working out for you. There is no shame in walking away. Or you know, drink some concrete and harden up. Uni only lasts four years now that your student allowance only lasts four years. Persevere.

Virgo: Jupiter moves in to your sign this week.

Annoyed, you’re all “hey Jupiter get out of my space.

Step off” Libra: Just because it’s New Zealand Music Month doesn’t mean you should EVER sing in public Scorpio: Your stars would like to remind you that CHESS is not a sport it’s what people who can’t play sports do.

Sagittarius: This your week to get angry, don’t fight the emotion, don’t try and calm down just embrace your inner hulk and smash Capricorn: Are we an item? Girl, quit playin.’

“We’re just friends,” what are you sayin’? Said “there’s another,” and looked right in my eyes . My first love broke my heart for the first time And I was like… the stars agree you will have an annoying pop song stuck in your head all day for some reason.

Aquarius: Really? Reading Horroscopes? I thought you were smarter than that.

Pisces: This is a great week to make your random your casual, your casual your relationship, your relationship your partner, or your partner your spouse. It is not however a good week to make your random your baby mamma.

And if it’s your birthday – double check that someone may have just changed your birthday on Facebook.

Half Baked

Mel

with ushi You know what I think is ace? Sushi, I love sushi.

I thought I’d compile a list of my experiences with sushi bars in Hamilton for you lovely people. As you will probably figure out from reading these reviews, I don’t eat raw-fish sushi. I primarily eat chicken sushi. I am also not some sushi expert; I have a completely different palate to that of a Japanese person.

This is just my average European opinion!

Kino Sushi: Victoria Street This is my all time favourite sushi bar in Hams; I have been going to this magical place since it opened its Victoria Street premises almost 10 years ago. They have a huge selection and it is all delicious. I can highly recommend their lemon chicken, crumbed chicken and Cajun chicken niguri, damn that stuff is good. They also have most excellent rice balls.

Kino is pretty well priced relative to most other sushi places in Hamilton; my tray of 5-6 pieces usually comes in at around $6-8. They are pretty popular though so it’s best to get in before 1pm.

They had a Casabella Lane store before the Victoria Street premises and they still do, I have been there and it’s just as tasty, but I find the pieces are a little smaller and a little more expensive, so I stick with Vic St. Sushi Ya: Collingwood Street I often go to Sushi-Ya or nearby Sushi House in Anglesea Street if Kino is a bit far to walk or it is after 2pm and I have no hope of getting something good at Kino. Sushi-Ya has some good stuff, an ok selection, and is a good alternative. But every so often you will get a dud piece; that random piece that just doesn’t taste right that just makes you feel ill. The Cajun

chicken is goooood. Sushi-Ya is on-par with most other sushi bars in Hamilton when it comes to price; just that little bit more expensive than you would like.

Sushi House: Anglesea Street Sushi House is a notch above Sushi-Ya in my mind. They have about the same selection as SushiYa but it tastes a bit better. They occasionally have something random and interesting; once I came across a chicken nugget niguri – it was good.

The sweet chilli chicken is yum. The atmosphere is better than Sushi-Ya, t it’s nothing special but it’s clean, open and well lit with solid tables and nice music.

Kobe Sushi and Bento: Ward Street I stumbled upon this gem while working in Centre place over the Christmas holidays. While they don’t have a huge selection, every piece is $1 and it is pretty damn good. I love Kobe for their $1 sushi; you can get so much sushi for so little money! My only sadness is that they don’t have an egg niguri or rice balls, which I find so strange because these are usually the cheapest!

Collective sushi bars: Clyde Street shopping centre Ok, so, I think it is Sushi One that I am referring to, but don’t quote me on that. There are two sushi places at the Clyde Street shopping centre and googling them does provide me with concrete answers. Sushi One is next to the Post office, the other is next to Bin Inn. Sushi one is good, and does an excellent sweet chilli chicken niguri. Unfortunately it’s fairly expensive as well, so I tend not to go there often. The one near Bin Inn has just never impressed me, meh.

Umi Sushi: every major mall

you can think of Do not like. Same as for coffee; franchise is unhappyland.

Party Sushi Cafe: Te Rapa Straight

Although I was drawn by the fairly interesting name, I was disappointed by the sushi. They appeared to have very little selection, but perhaps that is just because at 1:30pm is getting a little late in the sushi day. The pieces I did get were average, nothing jumped out at me, except the squishy avocado, blegh.

Bongo Cafe: Campus I’m ok with the sushi at Bongo, I just find them a little too expensive for my liking (read: poor student wallet) but when I am craving sushi at Uni at least there is somewhere decent-ish close at hand. Also: their chicken rice balls are stellar.

Side note: Just today I stumbled across Cambridge Sushi on Empire Street; it is right next to Rouge Cafe (which is an excellent cafe). The sushi was delicious, the chicken rice balls were huge and delicious, and I liked their selection. Pretty cheap too; four massive pieces of sushi and a ginger beer cost me $8.90. I sense a sushi and coffee date with the Husband in Cambridge sometime soon.

Side note 2: While I was in Australia earlier this year I was alerted to Sushi Train, it’s sushi on a conveyer belt, bitches!

Face of the week - make me into Winston Peters

Puzzles Complete the puzzle page, bring it and show us, and you’ll go in the draw to win some sweet free stuff!

Easy

Culture Word Find CULTURE ART DANCE ETHNIC HERITAGE

MUSIC KINGITANGA NATIONALISM NEXUS PEOPLE

STUDENT PROTESTS TRADITIONAL UNIVERSITY WSU

Medium

Hard

22

Entertainment

Auteur House

By Dr. Richard Swainson

here’s an old adage that the best filmmakers make movies that they themselves would like to watch. The Auteur House spin on this philosophy is reflected in our at times idiosyncratic selection of stock. Whilst the prime focus is on what a broad critical consensus would have you believe is “good cinema” - buying into the idea that the best is usually made by a select group of artists - there are also a few guilty pleasures that betray the prejudices of a nostalgic proprietor.

The most obvious of these involves a prolific American actor who was christened Marion Robert Morrison back in 1907. According to Wikipedia’s count - one that includes promotional shorts but excludes any television work - John Wayne made 184 films in 50 years. IMDB, which ignores many of the shorts and lists appearances made as “self” in a different section but includes TV acting, gives the total as 172. Personally I’ve seen 94 of Duke’s films along with 6 television parts. That makes an even 100.

Auteur House stocks 70 of these titles.

I’ve spilt a lot of ink over the years trying to justify my enthusiasm for John Wayne. He’s an easy target for those rightly critical of reactionary politics and downright dangerous behaviour during the Cold War years.

The irony of man clocking himself in the American flag and presenting an image of super patriot to disguise the fact that he dodged the draft during World War II is not a subtle one.

The genuinely brave movie stars were the likes of Clark Gable and James Stewart and Wayne’s mentor, the director John Ford,

men who gave up their careers and risked their lives to fight the good fight. Wayne only fought on the big screen and continued to do so almost until his dying day.

I watched my 94th John Wayne movie last week. Qualitatively Jet Pilot would rank amongst the worst films featured at Auteur House. Yet it is bizarrely fascinating, an oddity that brought together not only Wayne but two other significant players in 20th century popular culture: the director Josef Von Sternberg and the crazy billionaire aviator, movie dilettante and mammary enthusiast Howard Hughes.

Hughes’ greatest triumph as filmmaker was the 1930 World War I flying epic Hell’s Angels (also available at Auteur House). As dramatised in The Aviator, Martin Scorsese’s brilliant biopic of Hughes’ early, less loony years, Hell’s Angels allowed the flier and inventor to bring together his parallel obsessions for the sky and the screen. Twenty years later Hughes was the owner of a movie studio, RKO. His mental health had deteriorated but before slipping completely over the edge into long-haired madness Hughes wanted to replicate the triumph of Hell’s Angels in the jet age. Always an ardent anti-communist - as the extremely rich tend to be - he sought to make a Cold War propaganda film to show those dirty Russkies just who was boss.

Ninotchka when they devised a story involving a sexy Russian fighter pilot wooing an American Air Force colonel twice her age. Both have hidden agendas. While Duke’s loyalty is never in question, of course, you lose track of which side she’s on. In any case love, tit jokes and the virtues of thick steak meals triumph over politics.

Janet Leigh plays the Russian without any attempt at an accent. In fact, none of the onscreen commies even remotely convince as anything other than members of an amateur summer stock company. Hughes was clearly interested in more vital statistics. An early scene where Leigh is required to strip - all in the name of security, you understand - showcases a pair of boobies very much in the Jane Russell tradition. Just in case you miss the point every time she removes an article of clothing the sound of a passing jet is heard to emphasis the excitement.

Jet Pilot does offer something for aviation enthusiasts. Hughes spent $4 million on the aerial scenes and they look spectacular. Chuck Yeager was even one of the pilots used. However, by the time the film was released, a full seven years after it was shot, all the aircraft were out of date. At best it might have lulled the Soviets into a false sense of security.

The premise of Jet Pilot almost defies description. It is a romantic comedy. Of sorts. Perhaps Hughes and writer Jules Furthman were looking to replicate the success of the old Billy Wilder-scripted, Ernst Lubitsch directed 1939 Garbo vehicle Opinion

23

Mr. Minty Fish ey babes. No time for intros, only yarns.

Moral of the story? Sorry bitches.

The boys think wE crAy. Q. Have you all seen your friend’s dicks?

A. Drunkenness = curiosity. Curiosity in urinal = sneaky glance at whoever might happen to be next to you.

Anymore than a glance, you gay.

A. No. Q. Why not?

A. Have you seen your friend’s vagina flaps? That’s why not.

Q. What’s more temperamental?

Drug dick or alcohol dick?

A. I have none of those problems love, trust me.

A. Drug dick and alcohol dick are like drugged you and drunk you. Drunk you is not functional. Drug dick will surprise you when you least expect it.

Q. Tits or ass?

A. Tits A. Ass A. Good ass = Good box. Tits are mean though. If you like both then Tits draw you in and it’s like connecting the dots A. Ass, ass, ass ass ass. Hands down.

Q. Can girls ever truly be ‘one of the boys’?

A. Girls can’t truly be one of the boys.

The boys can talk about ANYTHING. Including pussy. If you can do that with a girl... That’s a touch weird.

A. Why would you girls want to be? You’re perfect as fuck. Stop pretending to have a dick just for our sake.

A. Yeah but it’s hard. You have to be more than a ‘good bitch’. You need to get to a level when you’re a ‘good cunt’. We can still want to wax that ass though but if you’re one of the boys, it’s never JUST because you’re

banging. Basically it doesn’t matter wat you look like but if you’re a dry bitch, then nahh.

A. Yeah I agree with that. It’d have to be one of your boys too so you could have post yarns.

Q. What are the least attractive things a girl can do?

A. Shit yarns, yarns that are too long, yarns that are way too short, yarns that interrupt TV. A. Just watch the Shake Weight episode of South Park. Then you’ll know.

A. Ahhh duno. Yarn about some other dickhead?

A. I’m gunna say burp.

Q. So, what are the most attractive things a girl can do?

A. That thing when you’re spooning and she like rubs her ass back on you real sly and you just know it’s go time.

A. Show interest in the sport a guy is watching. Even better, provide food whilst showing interest in the sport we’re watching.

A. Good yarns.

Q. Moaning V.S. heavy breathing?

A. Moaning. Heavy breathing reminds me of the Dark Side.

A. Those soft moans are key I reckon.

A. Moaning but there are rules. If we can distinctly hear an animal noise in your moan then that’s fucked. Also, 40mins of “Ah-ah hoooooooo! Ah-ah hooooooooo!” is unfucking-necessary.

Q. Who would you go gay for?

A. Robert Downey Jr or Gerard Butler. Two bad ass mofo’s.

A. I would destroy JB if he bent over in front of me.

Q. Have you ever been in love?

A. 8 months and counting.

A. Love is for fairytales and old people (but secretly yes for about 2 years).

A. Yeah, in High School. I loved any girl that would put out.

A. Na but I know what love is. Pretty sure it’s just bangin’ a chick but continuously.

Q. What is the most romantic thing you’ve done for a girl?

A. You’d have to be worth it, and I’ve never met a girl that’s worth it.

A. At Calf Club, I won this giant teddy bear and I gave that to this chick at school. I felt epic.

A. Once when I was little, I told mum that I wanted chocolates so she bought me a box then I took them to my gf at school. Yeee mum knew.

Turns out I was pretty obvious.

Q. Would you ever have a threesome and with who?

A. Yeah, 2 bangin’ chicks.

A. Yeah, and always 2 girls unless the opportunity to get amongst the most waxable ass came up with one of your boys.

Q. What was your first time like?

A. Awkward.

A. Awkward.

A. Awkward, but she was awkward too so it wasn’t even awkward but then it was.

Q. How old were you guys?

A. 16 A. 14 A. 15 A. 14 A. 17 A. 18 A. 16 Q. Any final words?

A. Don’t be a crazy ass hoe.

A. Don’t change for us. Not even in a deep way but if you chicks change for us it shows that you don’t back yourself and backing yourself is hot.

A. Just do the ass thing when spooning. Seriously.

Ok my lovers. So that’s about... a third of the information I got out of these bangin’ lads? I’ll do my best to slip random bits of their insight in our chats every so often. Shhhh.

It’s alright. I’ll be gentle. I’m glad we got to hang out today. I missed you allllllll week. Or did I. Love your faces.

Yours until I’m not, MMF.x P.S. P Ngaru! Btw, so0o h0mg ii tried t0 kall yew mAybe bUt ii c0uldnt s0 jush add meh 0n beb0. Kk tAnks bbe.x0x =] What do you want me to yarn about? mmf@nexusmag.co.nz So, there’s my email.

Message me maybe.

Diary of a Hipster ell last week I talked about materialism and so on, and I’ve sort of had the inkling that my diaries have been a little airy fairy the last couple of weeks with little for you to actually be like “dam I agree with this guy”, or “f*ck this guy’s a jackass”. But if you do think this… why are you still reading? So I thought f*uck it this week I’m going to hit a topic that I know may cause a fuss, I know may offend someone and may even make someone think, “dam this guy is brilliant”. Either of the above, like I always say, I don’t care, love me hate me it doesn’t bother me, im still going to wrack my brain every week and come up with something that I think you might like to read, so here goes. RELIGION I got dragged into a conversation at about 5am the Saturday night just gone, about this dam topic of religion. I was asked whether I believed in god or whether I was a christian. Little did I know that I was joining a conversation between two cristians and a due. And in the intoxicated state that I was in at this time I replied, no I think it’s all a big fat joke. It’s not that I think being a muslim is ridiculous but being a due is, everything’s ridiculous . Being a catholic, being a prosedant is ridiculous, being a budist is ridiculous, being anything is ridiculous, you’re a human being for god sakes!

I say this because I believe if you attach yourself to any kind of ideology you’re going to be on a road, and that road may or may not lead you in a good direction, but you’re going to stay on that same dam road if your

attached to an ideology, and it might be a f*cking terrible road! It could mean not having sex before you sign a ridiculous piece of paper or circumcising your daughters clitoris because that’s some crazy tradition, why is that? Because you got on a road, and you stuck with that road, regardless of rational thinking, you jumped on this road and whatever the road rules and speed limit were you said yep ok I’ll do it, this is what every religion is.

The problem is no one knows, you cannot know! You can have had your own personal beautiful experiences, you could have been the person who was actually touched by god, but when you start yelling and ranting that other people have to follow your lead or the f*cking worlds going to end or christians are going to be taken away, I know you’re full of shit! I know you’re full of shit and you know you’re full of shit. And the real problem is we can’t say it because everyone’s got this freedom of religion, religious freedom, the freedom to express yourself, even if you’re expressing yourself with nonsense that helps scared, lonely sad people lock onto that nonsense so they feel apart of something. If there’s one thing I believe religion does it’s that it prays on people who’s lives suck.

So it’s all bullshit, it’s not like you’re shits cool and my shits not, it’s not that yoga is the answer or marijuana

is the answer, there’s just questions.

However I do understand that for a lot of people religion can give you some inspiration, but there comes a certain point in time where you have to man up and pop the training wheels off and you have to realize that all this morality of positive being you have created is good because it’s good to treat other people good, it’s good to treat other people the way you want to be treated yourself, it’s like the f*cking golden rule and I believe there is a reason for it. That reason is that we are all connected in some strange way that we don’t understand, and unless we are good to other people, unless we are kind and polite friendly and loving you’re not going to enjoy this life.

Your just not, you’re going to be one of these people with problems and conflict everywhere you go, you have to figure out a way to enjoy this f*cking life. It’s not because of jesus, it’s not because of mosses, it’s not about anybody that may or may not have ever existed, it’s because that’s how you fit in better in the world, that’s how you stay positive. And it doesn’t have to be some shit that was written 5000 years ago on some dam animal skins or some wall of a cave.

It doesn’t have to be true because it’s old…. That’s just f*cking dumb if you ask me.

Something Hip

The problem is no one knows, you cannot know!

25

Beware of the bitch. r. Minty Fish put it perfectly; Hamilton is a poorer, less attractive episode of gossip girl.

In high schools there are cliques and hierarchies which separate the cool kids from those with less swag.

Thank God school only goes for 13 years and we’ve finished serving our time. Yet, even though the days of the blue and gold polo shirts are over some people still feel the need to be bitchy cats. Whether they have the tall poppy syndrome or a serious case of the bitch; not everyone will want to be your friend.

If you thought you left all the school yard drama at college then you must prepare yourself for life in the halls of residence. Not just the halls but any situation where masses of people are randomly put together and expected to get along like a house on fire will make reality show producers very wealthy. Dealing with bitchy people is life as long as you don’t resort to the ‘I know you are, you said you are, so what am I’ come back.

Girls are usually labelled as bitchy before boys are. There is a top secret language that is genetically coded into every female’s brain. A stare that lasts any longer than 3 seconds is bad, a look starting from the feet and ending at the eyes is done on purpose and cough and laugh combination really is what it is. Even though we hate people we smile, hug and chat with them.

I think us girls have mastered the art of pretend. Now that we are on the road to adulthood there is no need to pretend anymore. Life is

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Opinion

way too short to try and be nice to people that have already made there minds up about you before you meet. I know I am making the halls sound like a sea of sharks and piranas but it’s not, it’s great; you just have to know that there are people out there that will want your head for wearing something better than they ever could.

Gossip makes life interesting.

Talking about who’s sleeping with who, what so and so did in town last night and who gets drunk faster; it’s a way to relax and feel better about one’s self. The best way to deal with it is: do not react. You are in the halls for an entire year and reacting will cause drama and drama is gossip; people want gossip. Ignore it and do not change any of your actions or beliefs because certain people don’t like the way you roll. Getting strikes and community service because threw a very well deserved egg is not cool. If you know that someone has a bounty on your head be nice to them just as you would to anyone else and try not to fuel any gossip by bitching to everyone about them. Do not give them a reason to hate you; the more they glare at you the more you smile. It sounds like petty crap that only happens at high school but seeing the same people at breakfast, lunch and dinner can irritate the calmest of people.

On this note, if you have chosen to live with 100 other people in a miniature room then you must be open to meeting new

people or else you are in the wrong place. Everybody at some time in life is a bitch. Whether it is mondayitis, a hangover or just a crap day we snap, growl, swear and ignore people. Without a thought more, those poor souls think we are no more than grumpy cows who spend to much time working. So think about that the next time someone shuts their door in your face or doesn’t return a smile. Dealing with the catty bitchiness in the halls is easy when you know that it is not you, it’s them. It’s hard to understand why some people board in the halls instead of a one bedroom flat above a supermarket car park as they spend more time complaining about what every one else it doing, wearing and saying. Either way, make sure that the pressure and gossip surrounding you in the halls doesn’t seep into your pours and make you a replica of the annoying people you spend all your time avoiding. Be open, meet as many people as you can, make friends, explore, socialize and be happy!

By Julia Gabel

Life is way too short to try and be nice to people that have already made there minds up about you before you meet.

Nexus wants your Lettuce!

Write about anything you like, as long as it’s under 250 words. We’re like FOX News, in that we’ll publish anything if it’s funny. Your name won’t be attributed to your letter if you choose, and pseudonyms are fine (we still need your real name). Send them through to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz before 5pm on Wednesday for a chance to be included in the next issue.

Also, we won’t edit anything you send us, because it’s funnier that way.

Congratulations you are this week’s winner! Come to the Waikato Students’ Union building to claim your prize!

READ: WE DIDN’T WRITE THIS, AND IT’S THEREFORE NOT OUR FAULT. LOVE, NEXUS WANTED: New Friends It has recently come to our attention that our friends are super average so we want new, cooler ones. Our ideal friends are in their early- to midtwenties, enjoy the occasional night out on the town and watch Parks and Recreation (or are at least open to watching it!). We would like friends who have lots of cool stories to share and actually turn up to events they are invited to.

Our new friends should always be keen for adventures but at the same time respect that everyone needs some anti-social downtime. They should also be excellent decisionmakers because we suck at making decisions, lol.

Must know the correct usage of your/ you’re. Please apply in writing to: ourfriendssuck@gmail.com Successful applicants will be contacted with an audition time.

Dear Nexus Readers Writers and Those people who aren’t doing enough funny stuff to talk about.

WTF has happened to nexus and where have the interesting things gone, like sex on campus and stories submitted by people!? over the last few years nexus has slowly gone down the crapper while only occasionally brining out something cool to make me not bother writing in and having a fat winge. These last few weeks have put me over the edge though. i mean how many students are interested in politics education and health?! THIS IS HAMILTON! people come here to

get wasted and have a laugh. On a side note me and Todd got arrested for holding 1 beer each on the walk to town. Mine wasn’t even open? What happened to “alright tip it out and don’t make any trouble”? Arresting two casual guys instead of stopping people getting stabbed in House or where ever it was. There’s story one.

I want to hear the goss. Go. To the bettering of Nexus, Todd is a Frontbum Dear umbrella wielding students, May I start off by commending you on being an intelligent bastard/ bitch. You, unlike the rest of us, thought ahead and remembered to take with you that wonderful piece of engineering, so that you and your belongings may stay dry. Well done.

The rains have come.

Yes, the rains have are here, and now comes the time where a clear hierarchy is observed among university goers. On the top, the intellects who remembered to bring an umbrella, on the bottom, the dumb asses that left it at home.

Speaking for dumb asses university wide, I ask a favour from all umbrella wielders. Share your small refuge with us so that we may too stay free from saturation. Yes, it’s going to be a little awkward, and yes, both of us crouched down to stay out of the rain while walking is going to make us look retarded. But kindness has some sacrifices. Hear my plea O’ Great Ones, and may you take pity on us.

Yours Sincerely, Dumb asses

Dear Nexus Magazine, I am writing on behalf of the Christian community on campus, as I am concerned at some of what is going on and believe all Christians must share my view.

The militant atheist, left-wing profiteering socialists among us are once again doing their darndest to bankrupt the country morally and economically. In promoting the partial redistribution of state-owned assets - which the Government, being the elected representative of the people and therefore effectively are themselves the State, have every right to retain - these neo-liberal evolutionary theorists show themselves to be as backward as ever. They are prepared to sell our grandchildren’s birthright to some fat multinational corporate when we could be making lots here and now ourselves; after all this world was never meant to last forever anyway (Matt 5:18). We should be free to hang onto our own assets and not let unbelievers get their filthy dirty hands on them. We must stand up for the poor like the men we are and not allow them to dictate whether or not we sell things off are ours anyway. And our grandchildren’s, naturally; let us not forget that. But mostly ours just for now.

Remember that Christ threw the moneylenders out of the Temple, and would have thrown out the moneylenders’ grandparents too if He could have.

Yours in Faith, Edmund John Ram.

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A

$20 VOUCHER FROM UNIMART

CONVENIENCE STORE HERE ON CAMPUS

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College i, n U r u o y ow When you sh tudent / staff card or WINTEC s

29 Hood Street, Hamilton Central Ph (07) 981 1321 20% o off the main meal for listed card holders only. Must present student/staff card to redeem offer. Not valid public holidays. Not valid with Frequent Diner Card or any other discount. Only valid at Hog’s Breath Hamilton.

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How To: Be Culturally Sensitive With Alix Higby

his is for all you bigots out there ;). New Zealand is a heavily multi-cultural society (encompassing much more than race), and learning to harmoniously exist in a country as diverse as ours is pretty damn important. Unless you’re a DICK. But you’re all modern, educated young people so I doubt this is the case.

So. There’s this weird little line, that no one can really locate, which exists when people make racist comments or stereotype their peers.

It’s either an amusing joke not to be taken seriously, or highly inappropriate and rude. The former of these can usually be passed of as harmless, but you’ve gotta be someone fairly skilled in the delivery of wit. I am not one of these people. I just skip around being cute and shit like Jessica Day. But I just thought I’d remind all you lovely people of this little line, and urge you to not even put a toe near it if you’re not at all sure how your “hilarious” comment will be received. It’s dangerous.

You could hurt someone’s feelings!

I’m actually not kidding though, that sounds like a joke, but it’s not. Some culturally insensitive things people say are incredibly mean spirited and ignorantly rude and if too many people share the same kinds of mean spirited and rude comments then you end up with serious cases of widespread racism/bigotry that impact on the quality of life for certain groups of people and

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Opinion

BAM we’re back in the 50s. Not ideal, people. Not. Ideal.

Consider these: 1: Everyone is different! Come on, you know this. So when you meet someone new, or come across someone who is markedly different to yourself, don’t judge. Duh. I am no saint – I went to the roller derby the Saturday before last (So COOL. I wanna skate around bashing people up) and there was a girl sitting behind me with this full on chain around her neck. An actual, heavy duty- indestructible type of chain. At first I was like, WTF. But then I was like, hmm. She clearly has her own style and I dig.

And the fact that she seemed totally oblivious to the idea that a chain is not usually found around the average user’s neck definitely added to it. I bet she was looking at me going “WTF. This bitch isn’t wearing a chain.” So I thought nothing more of it. Except for now but that doesn’t count.

2: Be respectful of others cultural backgrounds. Don’t think just cos you’re NZ born that you can expect international visitors and the like to wear jandals in winter and shit. Just because they choose to be in our fair country does not mean they forfeit their right to maintaining their cultural background. That’s the rudest ever.

I had a Korean friend when I was in primary school and I thought her house was the craziest place I’d ever been, but I loved it and tried so hard to behave just as they did when I

visited. I was an innocent kid, but that’s all you’ve gotta do really. None of that “Go back to your own country” nonsense when someone confuses your brain. Compromise and at least attempt to understand where other people are coming from. Or at least mutually take the piss out of each other (figuratively). Of course there are huuuge grey areas when it comes to politics, religious beliefs and THE LAW. but in general – let people do what makes them most comfortable. Even if it means they don’t wash their hair and ride a really loud motorbike (unless it’s 10pm-7am).

3. If you’re going to tell a joke, make sure it is a joke. I.e you are not expressing your misguided opinion and what you say is worth at least a few laughs. No use poking fun at another culture if it creeps people out. It just makes you look ridicurous. Yep, I laugh at stereotyped racist jokes, I’m not going to lie (HEY JOE). But only cos they make me giggle and they have no bearing on the person whatsoever (most of the time). As long as you and the person you’re making fun of understand that it’s purely for a laugh, then it’s all fun and games and nobody gets hurt.

In saying that, don’t make racist/ culturally insensitive jokes at work unless you’ve been there a reeeeeeally long time and/or it’s in hospitality. I warned ya.

Now, go forth and be accepting, yet humourous.

In the arsenal of a stylish student is a little black book filled with the address of not her most enjoyable one night stands, but of her most enjoyable haunts – aka op shops! Now some of you might still have enough of your parent’s money to look down on op shops as places which smell like moth balls and old people but we can’t all be fussy.

Op shops are a great way to recycle, find bargains and contribute to charity. Everyone wants to have the smug satisfaction of replying to a compliment with the phrase “oh this old thing? I picked it up for $2” when your friends have all spent $50+ getting something new from a chain store which looks exactly the same. Fashion is a cycle, and lucky for us vintage is in. We have compiled a list of the most studentfriendly op shops, what’s best where, and their opening times (because no one likes making a trip out to Te Rapa only to find the shop’s closed).

Red Cross

300 Grey Street, Hamilton East | 910 Victoria St, Hamilton Central | Five Cross Roads, Claudelands Mon - Fri 9:00am – 4:30pm & Sat 9:00am – 1:00pm Red Cross charity stores serve as a fundraiser for their relief efforts in NZ and overseas, plus their community programmes like meals on wheels and refugee support. Their op shops tend to have high quality, fairly modern clothes but you are more likely to pay a bit more than you would at the Salvation Army. Still, $12 for a blazer is a score and you can definitely find some nice clothes no one would guess were second-hand from there.

Hospice

Clyde St Shopping Centre, Hamilton East| 900 Victoria St, Hamilton Central Mon -Fri, 9am-4pm Hospice NZ helps families and people with terminal illnesses and the money raised from their stores goes towards care for those people. Hospice stores tend to have more vintage clothes, but the quality is as high as the Red Cross. The Victoria St store has a “treasure cave” area through the back where you can score serious bargains.

Hospice is also good for furnishing flats as they have a lot of home-wares and the like.

Save Mart

105 Maui St, Te Rapa Mon-Fri, Sat 9am – 5pm & Sun, Public holidays 10am – 4pm Save Mart is not strictly a charity, but does support causes such as the Child Cancer Foundation and exports second hand clothes to Papua New

Guinea. Save Mart is more expensive than Hospice and Red Cross, but they have more variety as their Te Rapa store is rival to The Warehouse in size. You could get lost in there.

Seriously. It tends to be a lottery – sometimes you have a lucky ticket, while others you regret spending the petrol money to even get to the store. Those ChillStreet hooligans did however write a song about Save Mart so it must be good (go YouTube go!).

Salvation Army

369 Te Rapa Road, Beerescourt/ Te Rapa | 716 Victoria St, Hamilton Central | 421 Grey Street, Hamilton East | Five Cross Roads, Claudelands The Salvation Army is our personal favourite – things are cheap and there are lots of them. We’ve scored cute 100% wool coats for less than $20, something you would never find in a store. They tend to have a good selection of scarves and hats, the staff are friendly and the pricing system makes sense. The reason the clothes are so cheap is because the Salvation Army stores are more concerned with providing a service to those who are in difficult circumstances, rather than raising money.

There are over 19 op shops in Hamilton, and you can check them all out at the Op Shop Directory – Hamilton: http://www. opshopdirectory.co.nz/locations/ hamilton/ Op shops – where everyone really gets a bargain Happy hunting!

Alice & Anne Fashion

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REVIEWS

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Reviews

surprise if its economy slipped over like Greece.

The Dark Heart of Italy by Tobias Jones

Silvio Berlusconi used to be my favourite politician – until he was toppled from the office of Il Duce. Finally there seemed to be a world leader who truly enjoyed the trappings of office, with an extramarital sex life that made JFK look like a Catholic school boy.

However after reading ‘The Dark Heart of Italy’ I’ve been forced to make a reappraisal. The guy’s simply a wanker. Not just a ‘loveable’ wanker in the Paul Henry mould either. But an out and out cunt. Venal, totally corrupt – even evil. We’ve never had rulers like him in New Zealand, and that’s a good thing. Sure we’ve had our share of politicians who’ve done foul things – but they’re more like George Bush Jr – simply dumb people making bad decisions. We’ve never had someone who was completely rotten to the core like Uncle Silvio.

I was also forced to make a reappraisal of Italy too. It was once a country I most admired (after France), but Jones’ book reveals it as a European banana republic. Its democratic institutions are a shambles, and it wouldn’t be a

This is not just the author’s viewpoint either. Even Italians themselves refer to their own country as a ‘brothel’ or ‘the whore.’ There’s no sense of nationalism at all – except when it comes to football. Paradoxically there’s intense pride at a local level, love of town and family, but any sense of wider co-operation than that is torpedoed by endemic corruption.

Interestingly it is this disempowerment at a political level, that Jones argues makes Italians so passionate about life’s daily pleasures. Good food and wine, espresso, style, an emphasis on these helps distract Italians from their wider troubles.

It can be hard to tell what a country is really like until you get a good analysis like this. Jones is an ex-pat Brit, but obviously has become completely integrated. After writing about how much of a shit-heap Italy is, he finishes by saying he loves living there now and can’t bear to leave.

Kevin Pryor The Karma Sutra by Anne Hooper

sex manual. Hoppers the Kama Sutra includes sex positions described in all three of these scripts, and also contains over 2000 years worth of sexual knowledge, tips, tricks and advice.

Even though the original Kama Sutra was not illustrated, this version has lovely instructive colour photographs. A friend of mine did wonder as to whether the people in the photos were actually having sex, and if they aren’t then maybe actually doing the deed would have made their facial expressions less awkward.

But I guess if you wanted accurate facial expressions, you’d use your uni internet data to watch porn on those dark, lonely nights in the basement computer labs when you’re meant to be doing an essay (that’s probably due tomorrow). Then again, most of those chicks are faking it and have weird facials anyhow.

Another key difference between the original texts and this book is that this version is written in modern English rather than in Arabic and Sanskrit. It’s also not written in cryptic prose, which makes reading it (and making sense of it!) easy and enjoyable.

Some people seem to view the Kama Sutra as a book of sex positions that only freaky yoga practicing gymnasts could attempt, but in reality a lot of the positions are totally do-able and you’d be surprised at how many you probably already use. I will admit though, there are a few in there which being flexible would make a lot easier/possible.

So whether you want to heighten your sexual pleasure, be more erotic in the bedroom, unlock “the secrets of sensual lovemaking for deeper spiritual and physical harmony”, try some new positions or you just want something mildly amusing to give a mate for a birthday, this book has it all!!

This lovely little sex guide is the amalgamation of the ancient Indian Hindu sex text the Kama Sutra, the Indian sex manual the Ananga Ranga and the Perfumed Garden an Arabic

Courtney Quinn

Reviews

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Crash Bandicoot Warped

things interesting, and there are a few easter eggs to look for. Every time you defeat a boss, you gain a special power to use. The catch is for each power gained the next set of levels require the use of the power to complete them.

If you can get your hands on a PS1 or if you have a PSP or PS3, get this game. Its only $10 and it is a hell of a lot of fun.

Craig Barrett

Wolverine: Old Man Logan by Mark Millar This review is dedicated to Cynthia.

For those of you who are old enough to remember Crash Bandicoot Warped, you don’t need to read this review. You know how awesome it is.

For those of you not old enough to know what Crash 3 is, it is an amazing platformer on the original PlayStation. It is old-school at its finest. You have lives, time trial modes and boss fights. This is a 3D platformer so the actual platforming needed can be a bit more difficult than its 2 dimensional counterparts.

There are traditional platformer levels and levels where you must swim underwater. There are also levels where you play as Crash’s sister Coco, in which you either ride a jet ski or a tiger cub.

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Crash’s evil nemesis Cortex (isn’t it weird that all the main characters names start with C?) is back, after a piece of Cortex’s space station from Crash 2 crash lands on Earth and unleashes an evil mask called Uka Uka. They are planning to gather 25 energy crystals to enslave the Earth, and it is up to Crash and Coco to stop them.

Wolverine has always struck a cord with me. He has a duality about him, on one side there‘s the man he wants to be, and on the other the beast he is. He’s like a pocket-knife; a seemingly innocent metal case that can pop a blade out at any moment – except he’s a man, and the blades that pop out are foot long claws attached to a grizzly bear.

In typical old school fashion, you start off with 4 lives, and whenever you take a hit, you lose a life. There is fruit scattered around each level, and every 100 you collect earns you another life. As there are 25 crystals to collect, there are 25 levels. The levels have enough variety to keep

Mark Millar throws you 50 years into the dirty future where the bad guys run the show and Wolverine is one of the last heroes alive, a shitty farmer, and pacifist. Flashbacks fill in how the baddies overthrew the heroes, and destroyed Wolverine, leaving Logan as a broken shell. The

Reviews

plot is a classic reawakening, with Hawkeye hiring Wolvie for a delivery trip that brings him full circle and to brutal rematches with two A-grade bad motherfuckers. Not to be missed.

When Wolverine goes to town, he goes to town.

The character development and interaction is what makes this a real story. Old Man Logan focuses on Wolverine’s dichotomy, and the personal struggle that brings him to terms with who he really is and if you’re any sort of Wolverine fan, it’s exactly what you’ll be waiting for.

Steve McNiven, steering the pencil, has altered his style for an edgier feel, dialing up the violence to give the fight scenes the savagery you’ve been waiting for since the first blood stained flashbacks of the hero on page one. The minor shortcomings in the art are common comic quirks: some two-page panels can get lost in the fold of the pages and some of the background figures are overly simplistic. This is not high art, it’s mainstream western stuff, but Steve’s one of the best- the main drawings spectacular in their vivid expression. Niven’s sense of spacing and timing is sensational; cliffhanger on one page then dropping the hammer on the next page with something beautiful.

The story here is fresh and smooth, with tales, characters, and references interwoven without a disjointed feel.

The artwork is sharp; matches the story perfectly, and really delivers on those fight scenes. Anyone can pick this up if they want a good story and artwork, but real fans will appreciate the subtle references. This is smart, ruthless, and brilliant. A must read.

4/5

DC

The Avengers I didn’t rush to the cinema to watch The Avengers like a lot of my friends.

Sure I wanted to see it but there were other movies on the horizon that I

was more excited about. That was my first mistake because having watched it now all I want to do is go back and watch it two or three more times.

The Avengers writes its own rulebook to an extent. There was real risk in combining three commercially successfully properties into one film (I’m leaving out the Hulk because incredible or otherwise they have never managed to really drive those films into the stratosphere like the others). That risk only gets multiplied when you are also dealing with characters who have a passionate fanbase outside of the films.

Personally I was always more of a Justice League fan growing up so I went into the movie knowing enough of the backstory and characters without being too hung up on continuity and cannon. My one major reservation before sitting down was that I didn’t think a Mark Ruffalo Hulk would work. Although I hadn’t enjoyed the film I felt that Edward Norton had captured the essence of Bruce Banner in the Hulk and that his exclusion from the Avengers film would be ultimately be detrimental to the film, I was wrong. As both Banner and Hulk Mark Ruffalo manages to bring a likeability and humour to the film while also capturing the nuanced moments that give insight into how difficult the characters life has been.

The most intriguing thing for me in the film was the directorial performance of Joss Whedon. I have been a Whedon fan for a long time now. His work on Buffy as both a writer and director and perhaps more obviously in the short lived firefly series showed just how adept he is at bringing out real human interaction and particularly conflict between characters without making it seem manufactured or forced.

Those skills make him the perfect director for Avengers which is at its core a movie about relationships and human nature.

Forget the amazing special effects and the near perfect rendering of the hulk as downtown Manhattan gets smashed by Alien hordes.

This movie is about siblings and

loyalty, friendships and having to evolve and adapt.

Having Loki as the “villain” allows Whedon the freedom to build on the work done in Thor and really play one sibling off against the other.

Whedon and some great acting particularly Tom Hiddleston’s Loki do it so well that I found myself sympathetic of what could have been a very two dimensional comic book villain. The real masterstroke that was at the heart of the early avengers though was the conflict between the narcissistic Tony Stark and the straight laced Captain America that really drove this movie.

Robert Downey Jr is in a class by himself and really stole every scene he featured in. watching Tony Stark have to embrace working in a team and learn to work with people like Captain America (Chris Evans) was great. There was also obvious chemistry between Ruffalo and Downey Jr that was a pleasant surprise. As always Samuel L Jackson delivered a complex and layered Nick Fury and was supported well by Clark Gregg (Coulson) and to a lesser extent “How I met Your Mother” star Cobie Smuthers. The one downside for me was the Black Widow and Hawkeye relationship. They had some plot points but It just seemed to be the background work for a prequel or a new movie. They are both good actors and great characters who were a little wasted in this film.

This movie is a definite must see and not simply because it’s a blockbuster or everyone else is watching it. 9/10

The Cook Cafe and Bar To me, the real test of a café or restaurant lies largely in its ability to cater to lots of people at once. This might sound simple, but too often you’ll be out with friends and family, and be sitting hungrily waiting while various people around the table polish off their meals. With each one of their mouthfuls you wonder more

nervously whether your order has been forgotten, all the while trying to politely ignore those loudly enjoying “the best steaks they’ve ever had”.

This awkward scenario is exactly why it’s lovely however, when instead the group is served at around the same time, and everyone gets to share in those juicy steaks at once.

Fortunately for myself and many of my family and friends, The Cook Café and Bar took after the latter description, one Sunday not long ago.

About 15 of us went for lunch, and were seated in the upstairs area.

After realizing that the standard practice there is to go and order at the bar rather than having a waitress come to us, we each went and got our first round of drinks. I took the job of shouting the first round, which highlighted how reasonable the prices are there. Sure, there were some soft drinks included in the order, but anywhere that only charges around $50 for about 15 drinks is pretty good by me.

The food came next, and again left little room for improvement. The portion sizes were big, the quality high, and the prices reasonable (though toward the higher end of reasonable). I enjoyed the best chicken burger with plum and camembert I’ve ever had, while laughing at my brother trying to finish a whole nacho platter by himself. Note, the platter is not the same as the standard serving.

My only criticism was that when I made the booking I was told the upstairs would easily seat 15 people for lunch, when in reality it was better suited to a standing social gathering. The tables were bar-height with stools rather than dinner height with lower chairs. Also, they hadn’t been put together when we arrived, but in fairness we were a bit early.

Overall I would give The Cook a 4/5 as the food, drinks and staff were all as great as I’d hoped they would be. I wouldn’t hesitate in going there again.

Scratch

Reviews

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Cereal It was my first day on campus, and I was wandering around with a lost and bewildered look. This was due the fact that I was lost. Lost and bewildered even. Walking around the back way of an effluent pond that someone told me later was called a lake, I came across a young attractive lass sitting on a bench.

“Hello young man”, I imagined she said.

“What are you looking at?” she actually said.

“I’m a bit lost, can you tell me where the TW block is?” asked I. “TZ block?!?” asked she, looking at me as if I had a zucchini on my head.

“Yes” said I, “I have my first class there”.

“Well, if you’d like to walk this way, I’ll lead you there”, said she.

“Why that’s very kind of you”, said I as I took the zucchini off my head. We headed off down the path, walking side by side with her in the lead.

“Nice zucchini” said she.

“Nice melons”, said I. *SLAP* “Ouch!” yelped I. “That’s totally inappropriate”, said she, and carried on walking. How she managed to slap me whilst carrying two whole watermelons is still beyond me. We stopped at the top of a raise.

“Do you see those buildings over there?” said she, pointing to what I was later to learn was the vortex of the universe.

“Well, do you see them?” asked she.

“I’m getting on a bit, but my eyesight’s not that bad”, said I. “That’s the education buildings. Walk around them to get to TW block.”

A young tall good-looking gentleman walked passed us.

“Hello Jane”, said he.

“Hi Tom”, said she.

“Nice melons”, said he. *SLAP* “Ouch!” yelped I again. “He said that, not me!”

“I know”, said she, “But I like him, I don’t like you”.

You can’t argue with logic like that but I still felt somewhat despondent. I surveyed the buildings, then just looked at them.

“Can I just walk through to get to TZ block?” asked I. “No, you’ll get lost” said she.

“I have an excellent sense of direction”, said I. “But you’ll still get lost” assured she.

“How can you be so sure?” asked I. “Well, have you got a masters degree in multi-dimensional navigation?” asked she.

“What if I do?” asked I. “Well if you did, you’d still get lost. A PhD student went in and came out once. Took him 5 years but he got there.

Just go around.

“Okay”, said I , giving up. “Thanks for your help. I may see you again sometime”.

“If the fates are cruel enough” snarled she, and wandered off.

And that’s how I made my first friend at uni.

Verbose Verbiage I had my first encounter with the ‘yous’ epidemic when I was seven. “Mrs Black gets angry when we’re late! Yous better hurry up.” The word was petrifying. Even when the bell rang, the sound of which normally sets my feet into action, I couldn’t move. The playground emptied; tumbleweed hovered; I felt like I was floating. I blinked moisture into my eyes, but instead the memories came flooding back. His face, adorned with freckles and glasses, refused to fade from my mind. The lisp made his verbal abuse indistinguishable from ‘youth’. And as he spoke, saliva sprayed from between his metal-plated teeth. The word emerged like a shark trying to speak while consuming its prey. Violent, traumatising and... unnatural. Today I still remember his face; it’s been tattooed onto my memory, black and white like a wanted poster’s sketch. Except before he could be detained, his sick language infiltrated the minds of every other kiwi in this country. I hear it more than ever; and each time it revives the pain. Battle scars.

Such language isn’t even remotely productive. Believe me, I’ve fought to justify its use: colloquial banter, like ‘lols’ for old people since, you know, old people say it! The problem is ‘lol’ is just an acronym whose lowly status has long been established. ‘You’, however, is a perfectly crafted word, like ‘Raglan’ without the ‘D’ and ‘everything’ without that vulgar ‘K’! Clearly ‘yous’ has no place in anyone’s vocabulary.

I know there are others who’ve seen the light, those of you similarly afflicted by the plagues which haunt language.

It is you who ask, “What must we do?” And, with great pain, I must say that there’s no known cure. But hope isn’t lost; I do have one suggestion, one other than, “It’s ‘you’, without the ‘s’,” since that response only turns you into a pedantic nut. My advice is this: exaggerate their mistakes, “What are yous up to today?”

“I’s gots as physicses labs ats ones, ands Douglases’s twos tutses froms elevens untils twelves fifties.”

With hope they’ll realise ‘yous’ makes them sound like they’re simultaneously being tasered.

Immediate results are unlikely; but the more we wait, the more the curse spreads. Even those once thought immune are finding the taint too much to bear. Ignorance and apathy are pitfalls which we’re becoming careless to avoid.

Well stand up, I say. For if you’re in one of these pits, then may my advice be a ladder with which you can climb out, or a map if your pit is, in fact, a twisted and abysmal cave crawling with ‘yous’-spreaders. If it is, we may already be too late.

By Pseudonym

By Skippy

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www.wcard.co.nz

ART TIME EDUCATOR VACANCY Fixed term, Hamilton Based The Young Workers’ Resource Centre (YWRC) is offering an exciting and a challenging 6 month, part time (up to 20 hours per week) position with the possibility of extending the term, subject to funding. As part of the small YWRC team you will be passionate about youth and employment issues, hardworking and be internally motivated to positively impact your community.

The new Educator will work with the Educator-Coordinator to achieve the centres vision of having a community where Young People that are informed, productive and empowered in the workplace. A workforce that is sustainable and understands the give and take aspect of paid employment and voluntary work. As a highly motivated and friendly YWRC Educator you be will be responsible for: • The facilitation and teaching of quality employment education programmes within the Waikato and bay of Plenty regions.

• Revising, developing and adapting education materials and resources as necessary • Developing and maintaining relationships with training institutes, community organisations, and teachers.

• Identifying new opportunities to promote awareness of young workers’ rights and responsibilities.

• Handling some Drop in centre queries Applicants will have: • A strong sense of social justice and understanding of NZ employment relations’ legislation • Excellent verbal and written communication skills, • Ability to use imitative to take charge and organise when necessary • The ability to relate to different kinds of people particularly youth • Great time management and the ability to flexible with time • Attention to detail and results driven • Above average computer skills • Drivers Licence and access to a car

Some experience in teaching in an adult and/or secondary school environment, a relevant tertiary qualification and knowledge of Tikanga would be an advantage, but is not essential. Please apply in writing by the 27th of May 2012 to: Kylie Zinsli Young Workers Resource Centre PO Box 9393 HAMILTON Or emailed to ywrc@xtra.co.nz For more information about Young Workers’ Resource Centre please see www.ywrc.org.nz, http://twitter. com/#!/young_workers, http:// facebook.com/youngworkersrc A job description can be requested via the above email address

ver the last week I have seen trends with students inquiring about Student Allowance and Student Living Costs, this lead to me discover an option called Limited Full-Time.

Usually a student is only eligible for a Student Allowance or Student Living Costs if the student is studying full time at a tertiary institute, but in some cases a student may need to study less than full time - this means a student may be eligible to get financial help under the Limited Full-Time study.

To qualify for Limited Full-Time a student must have one of the following circumstances:

f it sounds too good to be true ... it usually is!

Neville came into the CAB office very excited to say he had an email congratulating him on winning a trip to Australia. He wanted to know how to reply.

IT’S A SCAM! Beware...If it sounds too good to be true it usually is. Any email, phone call or letter saying you have won, or will win something usually it is a SCAM. Don’t reply or the scammers will then have your details. You can check on scams on the Consumer Affairs website at: http://www.consumeraffairs.govt.nz/ or come and discuss it with CAB. The Citizens Advice Bureau Hamilton provides advice and information from four locations. They are at 55 Victoria St (Mon-Fri 8.45am-5pm), 70 Kent St Frankton (Mon-Fri 9am4.30pm), Garden Place (Mon-Fri 11am-2pm) and the Cowshed at the University (Thurs 11-1pm). They also have legal, advocacy and consumer services available where you can get more specialized help. Book an appointment at WSU. Phone the CAB on 0800 367 222 (0800 FOR CAB) or look at the CAB website www.cab.org.nz

1) Finishing a recognized programme, but to do this one may need study less than full-time but more than half a full-time course.

2) Currently have an illness that prevents one from studying full-time 3) It’s in ones best interests to study less than full-time.

If you think that you qualify for Limited Full-Time, I am more than happy to talk you through it and help you apply.

The Advocacy Service at the Waikato Students’ Union can help you with problems on and off campus with representation, advice and total confidentiality.

Feel free to give me a call or send an email.

Gate 1 Knighton Road Ground Floor, Student Union Building (SUB) University of Waikato Phone (07) 856 9139 advocacy@wsu.org.nz

Tangata Tumeke

Potatau Te Wherowhero 1858–60 Matutaera Tawhiao 1860–94 Mahuta 1894–1912 Te Rata 1912–33 Koroki 1933–66 Te Atairangikaahu 1966–2006 Tuheitia Paki 2006– Ka titiro atu tātou ki ngā paripari o te maunga o Taupiri, ki ngā wai karekare o te awa me ōna taniwha rau, ki te Whare Wānanga nei me tōnā whakatauki i riro mai i te ariki tuatahi, kua mōhio, ae kei raro tātou i te korowai o te Kinigitanga me tōnā amorangi, a Kīngi Tuheitia. E te kāhui ariki, kei te mihi atu.

Kia kaua tātou e pōhēhē ko ngā waihotanga o ngā kingi me te kuini kua ngaro ki te pō, he tika mo te ao kohatu anake. He hua ōnā i roto i tēnei ao hurihuri, i tēnei ao kamakama. Ka rere ngā whakaaro ki te whakatauki i taketakea nei e Potatau Te Wherowhero “Kotahi te kohao o te ngira e kuhuna ai te miro ma, te miro pango, te miro whero. i muri nei kia mau ki te aroha, ki te ture, me te Whakapono.”, kei roto i tēnei whakatauki ngā kaupapa ataahua ō rātou mā, ko te manaakitanga, ko te kotahitanga, me te whanautanga.

He taonga tā te whare wānanga e tū ana ki waho i te wharepukapuka, ko tōnā ingoa ko Aurei. Ko ia te tinanatanga o te whakatauki nei. Ki te titiro atu ki a ia ka kite atu i ngā aka e rua e whawhao ana ki te kohao o te ngīra me ngā aka’e toro atu ana ki ngā rangi tūhāhā’. ‘E kawea ana e te taonga nei ngā moemoeā, ngā wawatā me ngā waihotanga iho o rātou mā hei ārahi i a tātou te hunga ora.

Time

What

9:15 am

Karakia and Whakatau

11:00

Watson Tuhua

1:15 pm

Jahna

2:15

Grant Haua

No reira e hoa mā, i tēnei o ngā rā ki te whakanui,kei te mihi me te whakamanawa ki te kingitanga, hahau mai ki te Papa Tauira ki te whakarongo, ki te pahupahu, ki te waiata, ki te tuku i tō ihi Māori kia rere!

Lifestyle

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