coNtenTs
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ThePlug Laura
Anonymoussubmission
Artworks Izlyn
Invisiblesurvivor,willmyvoicebeheard Joan
Sisterhood'sDeception Laura Healing Daisy
Iamnewlygrown TheftShrubbery
Thelifeyouthoughtyoutook
Anonymoussubmission [Untitled]
AboutUnveiltheUnseen AboutSurvivorSanctuary
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The Plug
You'remakingmewanttopulltheplug
Andwatchmydreamsofanewbeginning
Ofclosure
Washawayintothedarkabyssoftheplughole
You’retellingme,thisiswheresurvivorsbelong
ThatIwaswrongtolongforhealing
Ofjustice
Wearetobewashedawayandforgotten-unseen
You’retellingus,thatnooneisinterestedinunderstandingwhywearedrowning Inourtrauma
Inasocietythatpointstheirfingeratus
Tellsusthatweshouldhavetaughtourselvestoswim Tofightoffpredators,swimaway!
‘Whyjumpintothewaterinthefirstplaceifyoudon’tknowhowtoswim’?
I’mnotjustdrowningnow,thewaterisclosetoboiling-it’stoomuchtobare Washmeaway
Pulltheplug
Ibelongintheabyss
HowashamedIamtothinkwedeservedbetter
Laura SurvivorSanctuary
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[Transcript]
I think the scariest part, is the relief that it’s been done. truly over the line that men tread. no gray area. a foot into rape. of course there’s ruthie, who was pinned down on a neon friday. there’s a spectrum to the violence. -28/4/2022 [Anonymous submission]
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by Izlyn
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by Izlyn
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by Izlyn
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Invisible survivor
will my voice be heard , - Joan
Mother ’ s tale:
We are survivors, we have to be What else is there do, we must not give in to the pain.
At 83, I am immobile, advancing dementia, Physically disabled on top of my lifelong Autism and bipolar. I “literally” believe people
My generation were taught to do as men say.
Consent was not a “thing”
I was a sitting duck in my bed, in my chair.
.
A man befriended me in the community lounge
He had an access fob from another resident.
A way in - free to enter any tenants’ rooms unchallenged if we were in
A predator, hiding in plain sight,
A serial offender preying on the most vulnerable Elderly, mentally impaired people, Me!
.
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Plausible, persuasive, manipulating, predatory, Bringing chocolates and flowers, Offering to bring shopping promising to take me out, Tricking his way into my unlocked room – a deceitful pretender
.
He touched me, forced me and I could not stop him He lied to me; he told me to touch him. I could not tell carers; I couldn't tell my daughter. I went into myself, I withdrew, I was far away in my mind
But if I told anyone what he was really doing I was told, I would be in trouble, I would have to leave my flat He said it was “fun and games” – not my games or fun at all.
.
Then he was found out one day, disturbed by carers He had locked himself in with me.
My daughter turned up with shopping
She spoke to Carers, then the Police came I was very relieved, I told them everything I could remember
.
The reality of it all sank in, it was over – but was it
But my home was violated, my body was violated My mind broken from grooming, lying, sneakily taking advantage
The peace of my safe space violated by stuff he brought An unwanted Valentines card, I withdrew into myself, I did not want it My daughter took it all away for me
.
But after, in my mind "I am in trouble; I will have to leave my hom Everyone reassured me but I am frightened and confused I was protected from re-traumatisation ever since My daughter dealt with everything I am trying to forget about it
.
No one can offer me counselling - I have dementia, I talked to m I know what happened to me was wrong
But I am not a credible witness I cannot remember dates, times. Did they believe me at all? Do I exist? I don’t want anyone to touch me, are they all lying to There will be no justice for me.
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Daughter ’ s tale: - Joan
My Mum was not herself recently and today looking extremely nervous
There were secret talks with the carers about what they had found
My Mum partially undressed; her pad moved Everything moved away from her reach.
The Police came, she was so relieved, brave, She told them everything, I listened from the door.
She said, "I know what he did was wrong " , he “interfered with me”
She begged them "Please keep him away, he's been coming in here willy nilly"
She pleaded “I never want him here again.”
I could not listen to anymore, the tears would not stop
The SARK team came, the nurses were kind and compassionate 4 hours of attempts to explain the process
She did not understand DNA, samples, consent, or anything else.
She did not have enough capacity; they abandoned the tests .
News broke 2 months later, Rolf Harris was dead
We watched the news together
She said, “I thought these men were nice, but they are not.”
She went silent, far away, deep inside herself – what was she thinking?
.
.
nvisible survivor, will my voice be heard
I
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Services let my Mum down, Multi agency working failed again
Numerous mistakes by professionals we relied on Complaints ignored for months, then dismissed. Words like “delicate situation” used to sweeten it Is it all being covered up to avoid bad publicity?
Save the reputations of those supposed to keep me safe I am broken from fighting to get justice and all the complaints. I am re-traumatised on her behalf What is she worth?
. The case is dropped, his bail is ended There is not enough forensic evidence, He told lies, he cleverly twisted his story – has he done this before?
He will not be prosecuted He is free to find his next victim
.
It’s affecting every part of my life, I cannot sleep.
My 20-year-old children and my partner try to support me to support her She has a life sentence; I will never come to terms with this We should have been able to trust them It piles on top of the crime. Now I have secondary trauma PTSD.
Surviving
No one ever thought this could happen to her She should have been safe, but she wasn't
Nine months on – the unexpected heatsinking news. He is a serial offender
A year on - Another carer says she found the man locked into Mums flat She wasn't included in the Police investigationWhat on earth is going on. The truth is not what people want, They just want it to go away, not affect their reputations
Her Husband, My Dad passed away 30 years ago
Looking at these flowers on his tree,
Watching the birds on her bird feeder are like little prayers, Little spaces of distraction from the pain.
Something so beautiful and pure to block out the evil.
Look after each other, watch out for your relatives
No one wants to talk about this It's hidden - this just protects the predators.
Charities and Survivor groups are the only light at the end of the tunnel
Underfunded with long wait times for specialist counselling.
We will survive together, we must, we deserved better.
Sisterhood's Deception
Whatwasitthatmotivatedyoutotakethestandforhim?
Andweaveyourwebofpoisonouslies
Aboutapersonyoudon’tknow-whowasjustachild
Boundtohim,ordrivenbyselfishgain
Doyounotfeeltheweightofyourdeceit?
Doyoudisregardthesymmetryofhisgriponyou, Echoingtheholdheoncehadonme?
"Theyrelayedyourwords,'Whodoesshethinksheis?'
And,'Whataboutmykids?
Butdidmyplightevertreadyourthoughts?
Asyouwovethefabricofdeceit
Andthisconsumingpain,anunrelentingforce
Everybreathisastruggle
Everymomentafight
Breathheld,seekingrespitefromthepain
Mybodyachesfromyourtreachery
Butknowthis,sister,inyourcomplicity'sart, You'reenmeshedinawebthattearsmeapart
Younowbeartheweightofthisburden, Ashecarriestheweightofhisactions
Maywhatyoudidhauntthebothofyou, Forever.
Laura SurvivorSanctuary
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Crossexamination
"DoyouknowNatalieS******?" 'Ofcourse,sheismyoldestfriend...'
They'llevencomeafteryourtruesisterhoodwhilstsmiling, actinglikethey'vegotthegoldenticket.
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Healing :
What happened to me, still effects me it never goes away.
Some days i struggle to breath and all i feel is pain, all i see is torcher it'll never go away
Other days its easier i can cope, i can breath, i may be lucky and not to be reminded of the pain
Some days start of great and then something small triggers a painful memory and i'm taken aback to all i went through.
Sometimes i have a bad day and one little word "Hello!" makes all the difference
Some nights i go to sleep and Wake up in a panic struggling to breath and cope.
How can i ever talk about the pain i go through when nobody understands
Some people judge or don't try to listen they see me as damaged goods.
Why? i ask my self, my trauma may be apart of me but it wasn't my fault and it'll never change who I am, it just made me a fighter trying to survive
- Daisy
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by Theft Shrubbery
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About us
Unveil the Unseen is a Media and Creative Industries transmedia project at the University of Warwick. Our mission is to raise awareness about abuse and violence and uplift survivor voices, giving them a platform to safely and creatively express themselves through a series of documentaries, an exhibition and this zine.
@mci.unveiltheunseen
About Survivor Sanctuary
Survivor Sanctuary Coventry is a locally based organisation doing meaningful work to support victim-survivors of sexual violence. We are incredibly grateful to have had the chance to collaborate with them in this project.
@survivor sanctuary cov www.survivorsanctuary.co.uk/
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Specialthanksto Laura Izlyn Joan Daisy TheftShrubbery andouranonymouscontributors. ThankyoutoSurvivorSanctuaryfortheir keensupportthroughoutthisproject.
