Dealing With Difficult People and Situations: It Starts with You

I’ve decided I like going to the gynecologist much better than the dermatologist. At least the gynecologist is only focusing on ONE embarrassing body part (okay maybe two others) but the dermatologist is looking at all of it!! Every time I go, and I mean every time, I’m always hit with, “Mrs. Werteen, do you mind if a couple of students come in? They are male.” Of course, they are! Who am I to block education? So, my response is usually, “It’s fine, as long as you dim the lights a little.” Ummm no. For a full body skin check, it’s bright lights, my birthday suit and magnifying glasses. This year when the doctor said, “I don’t like that spot on your face,” and I stifled a snarky, “I don’t like your whole face,” response, I was happy to let them focus on my face instead of everything else. Fast forward and now I’m recovering from a minor surgical procedure on my face as the biopsy showed a basal cell carcinoma. It’s a difficult situation but, as always, I drew on the teachings of the work we do at The Wisdom Coalition. Using the principals of positive psychology, we show people how to propel their mindset so they can find more joy. Positive psychology is the study of human thriving and flourishing. It’s focusing on what’s strong instead of what’s wrong in our lives. One of the key aspects of this is recognizing that we can’t control outside circumstances or the actions, thoughts and opinions of other people. The only thing we can control is how we respond to conflict and hardship. Interestingly, around this same time, we were researching the concept of “Queen Energy”. Queen energy says that YOU are in charge of your life, YOU honor your body and embrace who you are right now. Unlike the Princess, who’s always looking outside of herself, the Queen looks within and knows who she is and what she values. It’s about loving who you are right now, without wishing for what was or stressing about what will be. 2 By Nancy Werteen, Co-Founder, The Wisdom Coalition

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