Untold Chronicles Issue - 5

DR. NIA

“I didn’t even let the

grass grow under my feet…”

The Truth Will Set You Free

Chaundra Gore

“I knew who God was, but I did not take the time to give Him time and attention because I was too busy doing what I wanted to do.”

Evangelist Melissa Williams

“My Truth”

C. Jai Graham

“Overcoming the Deadly Trio: Rejection, Abandonment, and Comparison”

May 2019 Issue 5

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Welcome

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ntold Chronicles showcases the difficult issues, life changing events and experiences of leaders, men and women of God that caused them to want to throw in the towel, stop going to church and for some utimately leave God. However, God has a different idea and each featured guest narrate their account of deliverance, while demonstrating to those also affected, there is a way out (solution). Untold Chronicles deals with the immensely hard issues we endure so as to offer, establish and maintain a connection with others who have similar testimonies or experiences. Through steps, sacred writings and supplications, they look to offer guidance on how to obtain, regain and restore relationships with Christ, while also learning to trust again.

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Contents Cover Story 6 Dr. Nia

“I didn’t even let the grass grow under my feet…”

Features

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15 In the Kitchen

Shrimp Biscuites By: Chef Andrea Dillion

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“I knew who God was, but I did not take the time to give Him time and attention because I was too busy doing what I wanted to do.”

By: Chaundra Gore

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26 Business Benefits Believe in Yourself By: Omekia McNeal

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Contents 29 The Coins Corner

Maximize Your Tax Refund By: SamanthaTalks

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“Overcoming the Deadly Trio: Rejection, Abandonment, and Comparison” By: C. Jai Graham

42 “My Truth”

By: Evangelist Melissa Williams

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56 Prophetic Words for the Soul

I Am The Fountain Of Life Within You By: Becky Porter

For Publication Inquiries Contact: Omekia McNeal Ph: 1 (561) 900-5079 Email: Belindagailmanagements@gmail.com Editor-in- Chief: Gerald B. Colson

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About the author Dr. Nia:

Unconventional, unorthodox, and unapologetically me when it comes to ministry.

She believes the Word of God as stated in Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” However, she knows that the changes in society and time mean that we must change how we convey the Word of God to this new generation.

Nia’s ministry is to the downtrodden, the outcasts, and to those the church has given up on.

She has a strong love and compassion for these types of people; she understands that deep feeling of rejection all too well. At one point, it was her. Her mission is to engage millennials with uncommon practices in inistry— practices that actually appeal to them. She then equips them with the Word of the God and all the necessary armor that they need for today’s battles. Finally, she sends them forth, empowered that they may bring others into the Kingdom of God.

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The Life of Just Nia Honolulu, HI

Part V

“I didn’t even let the grass grow under my feet..”

I

arrived in Honolulu, HI right before Thanksgiving 1992 in which I already knew that this was going to be hard for me being away from what I knew and was accustomed to as family. Yet again I was there, I had arrived in a foreign place with no one there that I knew at all. I didn’t quite understand why all of the people that I had met in Bootcamp and AIT training had been transferred to Norfolk, Virginia and I was in a place with no one. Well anyway I arrived at the base on a late week night and was met at the airport by my base sponsor. FYI: A base sponsor is someone that is in your field of expertise and somewhat along the same rank as you that can tell you about all the things that are going on on base, to help you check in to the places that you have to check

in to on the base, and to pretty much help you become familiar with what is going on and where you need to report until you have become all the way indoctrinated to the new base way of life…also because you are a newbie in the military they are there to help with any questions that you may have.

I will never forget my base sponsor, his name was Overton. He was a little short blonde haired Caucasian guy but he was mad cool.

I think that I had maybe been there less than 24 hours when I get a page to come to the front office of my barracks because I had a phone call. All the way down the stairs I tried to figure out who could be calling me, because I had already spoken to my family and they knew all was well with me.

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“When he made it to the base I was excited and then when he finally made it to my room those feelings dwindled, you see I had matured and so what I thought was attractive at 15 was no longer attractive at 18.”

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ell I get to the office and I pick up the phone and low and behold it was my old boyfriend, the actual boyfriend that I had joined the Navy because of lol. His aircraft carrier had pulled into Pearl Harbor and he found out from my family that I was there so he decided to track me down. Because he had liberty (given time off) he decided to come to see me on the other Navy Base of Barbers Point. We spoke briefly on the phone and he stated that he would like to see me. I was glad to hear from someone that I knew so I didn’t hesitate to tell him to come on. He arrived in my room and mind you I hadn’t seen him in a few years so we both had changed a lot since our initial meeting and our last time seeing each other. When he made it to the base I was excited and then when he finally made it to my room those feelings dwindled, you see I had matured and so what I thought was attractive at 15 was no longer attractive at 18. I was thinking to myself the entire time that he was sitting in my room making plans

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for us, what in the world was I thinking and I also wanted to let him know that I wasn’t interested but I wasn’t really sure how to do that. Well it turns out that I didn’t have to worry about that at all, we made plans to see each other because he was going to be in town for the next few days, however I assumed that maybe he was feeling the same way because from that day forward I never heard from him again until 2016 on Facebook when we were connected by a mutual friend.

Whew I believe that we both dodged a bullet on that one lol.

After that the next few months I got acquainted with the base and with my job at the time. Little did I know that God had given me favor with the men that I worked with in higher positions.

They saw something in me that I definitely didn’t see in myself. So I worked at the Fuel Farm on Barbers Point, HI, where we fueled the aircraft that were assigned to that base or even ones that came in to make pit stops along the way to somewhere else.

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“.. that is a darn shame that I was so afraid of where I had come from and had no identity that I would lie just in order to make people like me and think I was all of that..”

T

his job actually turned out to be quit a fun job, I enjoyed constantly meeting new people, learning about all the new equipment that we had to learn about and work, and the best part was becoming a plane captain and landing and taxing the planes on and off the runway…scariest job, but also the most fun. I know it sounds totally crazy but it really is true. I also got an opportunity to meet all types, colors and socio economic stature of men. Thus the beginning of my man problems, well not the beginning but I was able to do more of what I wanted to do because I was grown and had no one to answer to and that promiscuous demon that is on my family really had an opportunity to rear it’s little ugly head within me. It seemed as though men were coming out of the woodwork and I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and no one would know, because they wanted to keep it a secret just like I did…I had an issue ya’ll. Remember I had also created my own life and I could really tell it now because with my lying self I had

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perfected it. Listen to this: I came from an upper echelon family with money, my father was an airplane pilot for United Airlines, my mother had a high paying position at the post office, we live in a really large fine house in the suburbs, drove and had several expensive cars, I always had the finest clothes and was in all kind of activities in which I learned etiquette, modeling, and took singing lessons. Isn’t that something, that is a darn shame that I was so afraid of where I had come from and had no identity that I would lie just in order to make people like me and think I was all of that because I thought I was nothing…

OMG the things we do as people when we don’t know God and we don’t know who we are either. If I could take back all I had said and done I most definitely would, not only did I hurt myself I hurt others in the process of it. I thank God for a father that we can go to and cast all of our burdens down on.

So as I am working at the fuel farm there are some marines stationed there and working with us as well, a young

“Well he wasn’t having it and decided to show up at my base unannounced and tell me that his mother stated that if he loved me that he should marry me. WHAT!!!!! ” lady and two gentlemen. Well the young lady and I become really good friends and we are hanging out and things, well correction I become friends with all of them. They were only TAD (temporary assigned duty) to the fuel farm for training on our base, they were actually stationed about a good hour away from us on Kaneohe Bay, that’s the marine base.

Long story short I start to date one of the marines that works with us and we become inseparable even more so than the young lady and I. The young lady is also dating a marine that she is preparing to marry when he returns from deployment. So they had become my family and I did everything with them including party, travel all over the island and stay in their barracks more than I stayed in my own. The gentleman and I dated for about 6 months and then they had to go back to their base. It was cool at first we saw each other as frequently as we could and it was okay because we both worked a lot of crazy hours and had duty. However as the time passed it just became more and more difficult

to see each other, I didn’t have a car and neither did he so we had to rely on our friends to come and get me or bring him to see me. I also had that man issue so as long as he was out of sight I was on to the next one really, I didn’t even let the grass grow under my feet as the older people use to say. Well after a few months I finally told him that I no longer wanted to date him and that we both just needed to move on. Well he wasn’t having it and decided to show up at my base unannounced and tell me that his mother stated that if he loved me that he should marry me. WHAT!!!!! Dude are you kidding me, I am literally 18 years old and at that time marriage was not on my mind, plus I was too busy being nasty and enjoying what I was doing…God help me so, he relentingly accepted the breakup after he did a few crazy things and others saw him act unseeingly and I was free as a bird to do even more than what I was doing or so I thought.

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After marrying and motherhood in Chicago, I developed Bon Manger Catering to be a catering business focused on bringing clients an experience that exceeds their expectations. My recipes have grown from my southern Louisiana childhood and its intrenched traditions. My life has been a fusion of Creole and American styles, steeped in a lifetime of entertaining experience that began with my grandmother in Louisiana.

Life is all about experiences, and now as a Mom, I can’t wait to share them with you.

Shrimp Biscuits

Ingredients Dried Parsley for garnish (optional) ½ Ib of Shrimp ½ tsp of minced garlic ½ cup of mayonnaise 1 scallion finely 1 cup of Monterey Jack cheese (7.5 ounce) can Pillsbury™ refrigerated buttermilk biscuits Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray a miniature muffin tin with cooking spray. Cook shrimp in Butter with Creole Seasoning. Set aside Take each biscuit and split in half. Press the biscuit half onto the bottom and up the sides of the miniature muffin tin. In a small bowl mix the shrimp, scallions, mayonnaise, garlic, and cheese.

Place one tablespoon of the shrimp mixture on top of each biscuit. Bake for 20 minutes or until shrimp puffs are golden. Remove from pan. Sprinkle with a dash of dried parsley and serve.Taste. Enjoy!

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Chaundra N. Gore “I knew who God was, but I did not take the time to give Him time and attention because I was too busy doing what I wanted to do.”

I

am an author, leadership strategist, motivational speaker, currently a Master Sergeant in the U.S. Army of over 19 Years, Founder and CEO of Lens of Faith Photography LLC and Lens OfFaith Speaks, host of my very own podcast Thursday Night at 8 w/ LensOfFaith, a Sexual Assault Victim Advocate, Moderator for Cultivating Clarity in our Community for Domestic Violence, a member Kappa Epsilon Psi Military Sorority Incorporated, an advocate for Service members as a member of The Association for United States Army, Brand Ambassador for We Are Women of Substance, Brand Ambassador for L.I.F.T (Ladies Intentionally Following Through), Brand Ambassador

for Black Women Handling Business, a wife, a mother, a survivor of domestic violence and sexual abuse.

I am married to Kenneth D. Gore Jr. and we have a blended family of seven children, Brittany (22), Malik (16), Kamare (15), Makiyah (14), Kenneth III (13), Chloe (8) and Kendrick (4). We have been married for over 10 years. I am from Chicago, IL and recently settled in Lithia, FL I have a Bachelor’s of Science in Business Management. A Master’s of Science in Leadership. Currently a Doctoral Student at Grand Canyon University.

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“When I had my abortion, mentally I allowed doubt and fear to creep into my life and God has not give us the spirit of fear... ”

I

had a decent childhood, despite being sexually abused by a family member, going through the tragic loss of my father being shot, and dealing with the lack of a loving embrace from my adoptive mom. I never got that “welcome home” embrace after visiting family. I never felt the extra special attention; I was just well taken care of. I recreated that environment for my children subconsciously and didn’t realize it until they started getting older. I used to wonder why I didn’t like holding my daughter’s hand in the grocery store when my oldest was little. It was because I had no connection like that with my mother or father to mimic. My first two children got the worst of it, even though they didn’t realize it. When I discovered what I was doing, I asked God to fix it and show me how to be a more loving mother. I was hurt and broken from my failed relationships, loneliness, and lack of love from my family. All I knew how to do was survive, not only for me, but for my children as well. I never even wanted them to know how bad I was hurting, how lonely I really was, and how unloved I felt.

I knew who God was, but I did not take the

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time to give Him time and attention because I was too busy doing what I wanted to do. Please who I thought needed to be pleased, so that I could feel loved. I didn’t take time to establish my loving relationship with God. While trying to stay afloat and keep moving, I started another relationship with a man that made me laugh all the time. We dated for a while and my kids seemed to like him. I got pregnant with my third child but neither of us were ready. We were just having sex and hooking up because it felt good, looked good and we thought it was good. We were living for our flesh, but I did not know that then because I was estranged from Gods presence. My mother and grandmother were praying for me, but was I praying for myself? I can actually say yes sometimes and I even went through the motions of attending church to get my burst of energy for the week ahead. But was I plugging into God’s power for my life? NO! As a matter of fact, my boyfriend had a baby on the way by his current baby momma. I didn’t feel like I was going to be with him in the long run, so in 2005 I aborted my child in fear of being alone

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to care for more children without a father.

We were living day to day and in the spur of the moment. We both were pleasing each other based on what our flesh desired. When I found out I was pregnant I got scared first and made an immediate decision to abort. I told him and he didn’t say much of anything, but that it was my decision. God spoke to me about it and I felt like I made the worst decision ever, but it was too late to turn the clock back and keep my baby. So now I just unleashed the spirit of abortion into my life, unknowingly.

Trims, Cindy (2009) states that this spirit and how it opens the door for a spirit of death to destroy other areas of your life, creating cycles of death that allow the enemy to access your life and not only destroy the quality of it, but business ventures, relationships, and ministries. I have taken a deep dive into the spirit because it has personally affected my life. It does not just manifest in the physical realm, but it is very aggressive in the spiritual realm as well. It latches on to you and constantly kills your blessings, unless you counterattack it in the spiritual realm. I didn’t know nothing about this while I was going through it.

When I had my abortion, mentally I allowed doubt and fear to creep into my life and God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power love and a sound mind. Like I said earlier, I knew of God but did not connect with him personally during this season. Now I just aborted my baby because the man I was shacked up with and dating wasn’t serious and I believe I wasn’t serious at the time either, just seeing where the love (Lust) takes us.

I basically glossed over my loss and kept right on moving. The love I was feeling from him quickly allowed me to get over it and not acknowledge my true feelings about it.

I went through a season of self-blame, hurt, anxiety, and depression because, once again, I didn’t feel loved. I had two living children that needed me and this helped me bounce back from the funk I was living in.

In a confused state of mind, I began doing what I knew best and that was working hard, loving my children, and providing for them. All I wanted to do was provide for my children and make sure they never wanted for anything. That’s what my mom and dad showed me and so I did just that.

In 2007, I was still dating the same man I was pregnant by in 2005 and now I was

“When I had my abortion, mentally I allowed doubt and fear to creep into my life and God has not give us the spirit of fear... ”

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pregnant again with twins. I was so excited, but we were in an on-again, off-again relationship that was driving me insane.

I loved this man but he didn’t have his life together and I accepted it because I just wanted to be loved and cared for and he was doing that when he was with me.

Even though we lived together, things started to get very confusing and unorthodox. I stopped seeing him after too many arguments about it and this caused my depression again. I was in a deep dark depressive period that I kept to myself in fear of being kicked out of the Army and in fear of my boyfriend leaving me, which in my mind he had already left. It seems as if that is what he knew how to do all the time, when things get tough, he leaves.

During the course of my pregnancy, I made a conscience decision to give up on my on welfare and just do whatever I wanted to do. I developed gestational diabetes and I stopped taking care of myself.

I stopped going to my doctors’ appointments and basically ate and drank whatever I wanted to because I felt like the father of my children didn’t really care any way. I really didn’t even care. I used to go out of my way to go visit him and be with him and make things work, but he did whatever he wanted to do because we weren’t married. His philosophy was that if he wasn’t married, he could do what he Untold Chronicles | 24

wanted to do. That was the first sign of a dysfunctional relationship that I glossed over. I was really pissed with God for allowing me to get pregnant by someone that portrayed to love me and care for me and then ran off to the next woman. I was pissed with God for allowing me to be in a position of anguish, fear, self-doubt, turmoil, and depression once again. I wanted to continue to put the blame on God because I didn’t know no better. I played a very huge role in the choices and decisions I made for my life, but I wasn’t ready to own it then. It was much easier just to be mad and doubt Gods ability to love me unconditionally.

In February 2007, I lost my twins. They passed abruptly due to my placenta bursting and my blood pressure being extremely high. I had preeclampsia for several days without even going to the hospital because I didn’t think anyone cared. I should have been the one caring, despite what the father of my children was doing.

I totally ignored my health because I was in love and depressed. Nothing was going according to what I planned. I gave up on my health and the protection of my babies because my man wasn’t acting right. He didn’t care until I called him and told him that our babies had passed away. That was a bad decision that I made. I allowed the lack of control to take over my mind and

I now have to live with that understanding. I had a “I don’t care mentality” that caused me to become very hostile with myself mentally and I was just angry and depressed and thought God was punishing me. This loss was a very devastating blow, because I hid the fact, I didn’t seek treatment and care after a while and some people didn’t even know I was pregnant or that I was struggling mentally and physically. I hid It because I didn’t want people to think I was stupid or dumb for what I allowed myself to get into, but God. Coming out of this season was very hard for me, but God gave me his grace and mercy and I eventually started to see the light, but I still didn’t let God in all the way. I took my boyfriend back after he came acting like he cared after they passed away and we got married in 2008. Did I pray about it, talk to God about it, no I was so happy he was back and caring for me and loving me, I thought it was great that he waned to marry me, but I never took a step back to analyze, or have a conversation with God about it at all. I just jumped right in.

Reading Dr. Cindy Trimm’s book Rules of Engagement has taught me how to tackle my battles in the spiritual realm through the power of spiritual warfare strategies and tactics. This has truly been a blessing for me. I learned to counterattack the enemy in the spirt by speaking over myself and asking the Lord to forgive me and to free me from all present and future ramifications associated with an abortion activity. See there is much power in your words once you release it into the atmosphere.

You must be conscience of what you say and when you mean what you say, it takes on the magnitude of a spiritual projectile and it will hit bullseye! It works both ways, positively and negatively depending on what you speak out of your mouth.

In 2017 I rededicated my life to Christ and developed a personal relationship with him like no other. PCSIng in 2016 to Augusta, GA gave me a lot of personal time with God to get my life right with him in the waiting room. Learning more about Gods power and love came through my intimate space I created in my war room and through meditation. I wouldn’t trade

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this relationship with no one because it has definitely given me the proper perspective producing power. I love God so much and had no idea how great he created me, until I created a space that welcomed him in right into my life. The relationship I have developed with God has come at a price. The enemy is continuing to attack me from all sides and that means I have purpose on the inside of me, that I am starting to get out and the devil is mad and upset. He tried to destroy my mental and when he saw me standing on God’s Word he started an attack on my family, my marriage and my husband ultimately. I am still standing and fighting in the spiritual realm. I have learned a new way to fight and it has been amazing. It doesn’t appear to be working in the phys-

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ical, but oh how God is moving behind the scenes aligning people and things so it will all work out for my good. It does not feel good, but with a changed mindset I know all of the trials and tribulations that I am going through are for a purpose that I can’t really pinpoint right now, but later on I will be able to look back and see how God set it all up for my good. I will never doubt God’s ability or purpose for my life. I have been growing over the last three years, that I have been in the waiting room and going though various troubles that were all designed as a test to see how much FAITH I really have. So, I now know that I AM A LENS of FAITH! Be blessed and always Keep God first.

Community & Ministry 1. Preparing to be an International Speaker in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands, with my latest book project “Lift Launch Lead” An Anthology with lead authors Ranelli Williams, Kim Jones, and Donna Izzard - May 23-26 2. Currently the Equal Opportunity representative for Kappa Epsilon Psi Military Sorority Inc. Actively assisting the little sisters that are going through the process to join the organization. My job is is to make sure no one is unfairly treated and that I conduct health and welfare checks regular/weekly as they go through a 7 week process.

3. Currently Ghost Writing a Book about his life trials and tribulations, for a rising Gospel Artist/ Writing the foreword as well 4.Currently I am a 4x author - My own book “I Am A Lens of Faith”, ‘We Are Women of Substance (Anthology), “Lift Launch Lead’ (Anthology), and Unleashing the Roar (Anthology) - also the Book manager for “The Healing Journey” anthology and writing the Foreword.

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Believe in Yourself By: Omekia McNeal

How many times have you had an idea, shared it with someone and without even asking a question they tell you, “It will never happen”?

How many times have you been excited about trying something new and when you told someone close to you, they only discouraged you?

I can reflect back on the many times I have spoken an idea about starting a business or just trying something new and the outcome left me feeling like I was crazy for even thinking such a thing. Almost every time my thoughts were spoken out loud, they went from a possibility of working to what were you thinking and today, I realize it was simple, I did not believe in myself.

Growing up I wanted to be a doctor because looking at it on television it looked like fun and it would allow me to help people. Another reason for wanting that particular profession was listening at my other friends saying they wanted it so it was decided, so did I. Looking back I do not believe I ever questioned what it would take to be a doctor or even researched how long school would be again just being a follower with no individuality. A younger less mature mindset disconnected me from knowing the importance of self-worth, self-motivation or simply having a “mind of my own”. Somewhere in between now and then life happened, change occurred and for sure result of it all is that God’s plan for my life has and is taking its course.

Several important factors have stood out since I started on this “business woman” journey and to be completely honest a majority of them came in the past few years after discovering God (again) and being receptive to constructive criticism. Now let me be clear about “constructive criticism” I am not talking about just any and everybody giving their opinions about you and your life’s ups and downs, I am talking about professional, spiritual and or someone that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt has your best interest at heart. Often times we get in the habit of listening to everybody and the end result is we still do not have answers, incite or clarity on what we need to move forward. I have been truly blessed to have a very small circle of God Fearing (not all of them) “authentic” people who not only give me the real they also see my potential and encourage me to continue to see “me”.

The importance of believing in yourself has a huge bearing on how you live your life and more importantly it can determine whether or not you achieve and or make dreams and goals that are solely your reflection. Help from others is inevitable at some point so remember to stay focused and firm on your plan and not to compromise it for what others believe would be best. Clearly thinking does not always mean those thoughts are yours so in that aspect self-awareness becomes vital and not optional, if you are looking to be independent and firm in what you need and want.

Love you like God loves you and you will never regret what that love for yourself brings!

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Maximize Your Tax Refund By: SamanthaTalks TM

We are still in tax season, and there are many receiving anywhere from $8k to $15k in a refund from the IRS. It is tempting to go on vacations, to go shopping or spend it frivolously. I don’t want you to spend the money without planning for hardships later this year. Here are three ways you can use your refund to make money throughout the year.

nancial advisor; however, if you are working for a company, you can increase your investments with them. So, the money you received back, set up a one-time dump into your 401k or stock options out of your paycheck. Then use the tax refund to make up your bills. Just think to get you closer to retirement. You can also take a look at places like E-trade, Alley Invest, and TD Ameritrade. Alley Invest has no minimum amount to begin trading, and cost to trade is low.

I. Invest a portion of your refund in Real Estate Crowdfunding Investment groups.

You can take as little as $500 to $1,000 to join a crowdfunding investor online program for real estate. Now, you may say “ is it safe?” Yes, they are regulated by the SEC and accredited. One I have done a lot of research on is Fundrise.com.

You will need to do your homework before giving your money, but the return on real estate is higher than the gain at Disney World.

III. Money Market Savings Account

Save money! Yes, put some money in a money market savings account.

These accounts yield interest at a higher rate than the traditional savings account.

Money Market Savings accounts also have restrictions on withdrawals which makes you keep the money in there.

II. Buy Stock!

You may think I don’t make enough money to start a stock portfolio. You and the person making $7 an hour can start a stock portfolio. You can go through a fi-

You want always to make plans for extra money, that will yield more money to you. If you are not in a dire need to catch up bills with that tax refund, then save it.

Make your money grow for you! Don’t be wasteful with the extra funds. You have any topics to cover in this article.

Then send your questions to coincorner@ gmail.com.

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C. Jai Grahram “Overcoming the Deadly Trio: Rejection, Abandonment, and Comparison”

C.

Jai Graham was born and raised in Jacksonville, Florida. Being the oldest of 6 children to a single mother, she had to become a team player and take responsibility at an early age. She is no stranger to pain, struggle, and lack. She learned that when life throws you unexpected punches that hurt you to the very core and can cause you to question your very existence, you must keep moving.

She embraced the reality that even though at times, you have no idea where you’re going, don’t know what to do, or how it’s going to work out, never quit moving forward. She’s challenged herself to never give up hope, to never give up on herself, and to never give up on feeding that little flame on the inside of her that would one day erupt into the full fledge fire of her destiny.

Today, C. Jai Graham is dynamite wrapped in a small package. She is passionate, purposeful, and per-

sistent in all that she does. She is a Freedom Fighter and Authenticity Advocate. Through the power of her own presence and life, she authenticates and activates others to walk in total freedom and ownership of who they are authentically.

Jai unleashes others into their destiny- a life of purpose on purpose. She is a builder, connector, a launching pad, a cheerleader and supporter. She balances her kindness and empathy with a strong dose of loving truthfulness and drive to provide solutions. Jai is a visionary, possessing both creative and analytical ability.

She is an author, entrepreneur, national speaker, facilitator, LifeStyle coach and consultant.

Through the concept and practical application of her 3-word formula for success: Evaluate. Evolve.

Elevate., Jai’s overall life mission is to unveil, unlock, and unleash everything and everyone, into their own authentic and abundant life.

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“Being compared to siblings and treated as if I was an outsider in my family would leave me wandering as an orphan with no identity, no unconditional love and acceptance, and no sense of belonging to something bigger than me.”

From as far back as I could remember, I’ve always been myself even when I could not articulate who I was. I never followed the crowd, I never listened to the consensus, or even asked the peanut gallery for their thoughts, for that matter, nor did I think to ask for anyone’s approval on anything. However, I flowed, that was all to it and life went on. Let me be clear on this point: I am not saying I just did what I wanted, was rebellious in any way, or un-disciplined. I am saying that I was my authentic self. I did not do things to pretend to be someone else, to get people to like me, or to otherwise misrepresent myself in the world and to others.

I had a couple people that I called friends and they were great friends to me. I was never the type to accumulate many people around me, so I didn’t strike the few relationships I had as odd. We genuinely loved one another and supported one another in ways that I don’t believe many adult people know how to love and support today.

It wasn’t until I left for the military that I realized the world I knew was not the reality of the general population. Away from home, my norm, and my few, I embarked on a journey that would not only reveal to me that I Untold Chronicles | 34

was and am not the norm, but it surfaced things that I was harboring that I had no idea I was harboring until I had to reflect on the life that I thought was normal.

You see, I began to meet new people, create new relationships, and form bonds, all while taking my usual self along for the ride. I am me, and me am I, and I thought that was how it was done. I didn’t know that I would discover that people did not “do” themselves.

I didn’t know that people had an option to show up in the world as something/someone other than who they were. My reality would soon become an ocean dividing me from others in ways that I didn’t anticipate. I was not ready for all that would come with these new discoveries. I later found out that I was on a journey to learn how to build a bridge to connect me and people like me, to the rest of the world without losing myself doing so.

With these new relationships I was forming, I was being subjected to the kind of scrutiny, rejection, and comparison that one might endow on strangers. I thought that I was engaging in the same type of meaningful, caring, and honest relationships as I had back home.

My new “friends” were mean, competitive, and malicious to me and I couldn’t under-

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stand why. For example, I dressed in baggy clothes a lot because I liked the NY Hip Hop style. When my friends and I would go out, sometimes a guy tried to get my number. I found out that my friends had something to say about it because I shouldn’t be attractive to a guy if I’m wearing baggy clothes. If I declined an invitation to hang out, I was too good for my “friends.” If I didn’t engage in the same type of conversations, I was boring. They would befriend my exes or guys I stopped talking to and parade them in front of me in an attempt to make me jealous.

In other relationships along the way, my “friends” had a hard time seeing me for me. I went from being me, to being the “superstar”, the “number one stunna”, “she got a boyfriend”, “she think she’s all that”, “she’s bougie”, and a host of other titles that I was not looking for, asking to be, or desiring to be associated with. I was just me and I was not understanding why people were making me something other than that.

They would gather together and discuss my personality, what I bought, shouldn’t have bought, the perceived dominating edge that colors my personality; just so much was being discussed. You’re probably wondering how I know all of this. What I have learned is that people who talk about someone else

with you, will talk about you with someone else. They would snitch on one another about what the other said!

Needless to say, it put strain on my relationships with others. Mostly because, despite what they were saying and sometimes doing, I could not betray myself. I just didn’t know how to do that. I really did not know how to become someone else. I did, however add some things to me. I became very hurt, sad, and feeling like I would never have any genuine relationships with people who accept me for me! My relationships with others eventually dissolved and I would find myself by myself often or if I did get into another relationship, it would drift off after time because of the lack of authenticity in the relationship.

I didn’t just have problems in friendships, I had problems in romantic relationships too.

I always attracted men who were emotionally unavailable and who would eventually try to maintain a relationship with someone outside of our relationship. I would find out, the relationship would end, and yet again, I find myself alone and wondering why.

This went on for YEARS!!

I began a journey that took me back in time…

Back to when I felt rejected because I didn’t have a father growing up, when I would be compared to siblings or the family in gen-

“Being molested several times by several people would imprint a burning question of “how this could happen to me and no one is here to protect me from this”

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“I didn’t realize that I was carrying with me, rejection, abandonment, and comparison. I was accumulating the heaviness of hurt, disappointment, rage...” eral, thus leaving me marked as the “black sheep” or the one who “doesn’t belong” because I looked different and behaved differently. Back to when I was molested for several years and felt abandoned because I was left as prey to those who were trusted to be around me and care for me.

During my childhood, I was introduced to a father and a family I had not previously known. I wondered why I didn’t grow up with him, why I wasn’t a part of the new family. The conversations and the bragging about the “other children” that my father would have with me, and the evidence of the supplying of their needs had left me feeling deeply rejected and in constant comparison to my half siblings. This would lead me to, later in life, relationships with men who treated me the same way. It would lead me to friendships that left me empty and feeling like who I was, was not good enough.

Being compared to siblings and treated as if I was an outsider in my family would leave me wandering as an orphan with no identity, no unconditional love and acceptance, and no sense of belonging to something bigger than me. It would leave me feeling abandoned, thrown away, and with a sense that if my own don’t accept me, then who would?

Being molested several times by several peoUntold Chronicles | 38

ple would imprint a burning question of “how this could happen to me and no one is here to protect me from this.” I would feel abandoned, left for dead, purposeful only for what others desired of me because no one had taken the time to see and cultivate what was within me to be used for greater and pre-appointed purpose.

All the while, I could not stop being me….

I didn’t realize that I was carrying with me, rejection, abandonment, and comparison. I was accumulating the heaviness of hurt, disappointment, rage, and a mission to prove that I was not what people made me, nor was I going to let them label me. I was me, but I was heavy and slow moving; I was being buried under all of it and trying to prove who I was, but I was going about it all wrong.

I wasn’t aware that even though I still knew who I was and that I was sure of her, I was showing less of her. I would not be so much of myself or bring my best self to the table for fear of being rejected, abandoned, and compared. People, in their cunning, condescending and critical ways, would frequently have something to say about how I looked, something I did, or a task I performed.

Rejection, abandonment and comparison was present in my previous marriage, it was present at work, it was present in my

friendships, and it was present in my family relationships but I didn’t recognize it. I got divorced and was living on my own and believed that I was done with bad relationships, pain and all that came with that. I was determined to never get married again, finally pursue the dreams that I had, and raise my children. I was great at being alone and self-sufficient.

I eventually started dating my current husband and we were together 4 years before God began to deal with me about us living together unmarried. We ended the relationship because I was not willing to get married again. About a month later, we were exchanging vows. Guess what? Rejection, abandonment, and comparison rose again.

I became outwardly expressive of the pain I had endured during the course of my life and during our relationship. I was angry, unhappy, and explosive.

I could not control the emotions that erupted from years of accumulation. I would tell the unadulterated truth about things and I would not hold back from calling my husband what I felt he was. I rehearsed repeatedly the trouble we experienced, and the anger would rise to the occasion. I struggled with tremendous unforgiveness toward myself for feeling like I had made the worse decision of my life, getting married again when I determined I wouldn’t.

During this time, I had also committed my entire life to God and made Jesus Lord in my life. God began to deal with me heavily to free me from the rejection, abandon-

ment, and comparison. Oh, you would think that God would remove me from these situations, send better people into my life, or something right? No, that’s not quite how it went. With this new revelation of what was going on, what I was dealing with and who He has called me to be, He sent me back out on the battlefield, into new situations and environments, with Him right alongside me, teaching my hands to war in the spirit and not in the natural.

This included dealing with myself and the way I was showing up in my life. It wasn’t about, and it never was about my husband, children, family, friendships, etc. It’s always about what God is doing in me and where he was trying to take me. God deals with the person, not the situations and circumstances. He isn’t primarily concerned with what others are or are not doing. He’s developing the person with whom he is in relationship.

Many times, we’re concerned about others’ needing to change and not what we need to change. God was dealing with this heaviness that I was carrying around with me: the deadly trio.

One day, after an argument with my husband and me displaying once again my hurt, anger and frustration by calling him names and yelling at him, I was convicted something serious. I began to cry uncontrollably and feeling guilty about how I had displayed my pain. I was the very thing that I hated: a source of pain for another person. I contacted my husband, apologized, and fell to my knees crying out to God that this was Untold Chronicles | 39

not who I was, and I wanted to be delivered and healed so that I can do what I’m called to do; build others up, not tear them down.

I cried out for the rejection, abandonment and comparison to be removed from me. I cried out to be who I was created to be and to stop looking to the left or the right for love, acceptance, and value.

God showed up and surrounded me. He accepted my invitation to let him in and to help me let go of trying to do it myself. He started teaching me to Arise and Align with all that He has designed me to be and wants me to do for His kingdom. No matter what was to come my way, the only way to defeat it, was to be steadfast and unmovable in who I am authentically so that the authority and power of God can be manifest in me to transform anyone and any situation as He sees fit.

I had to stop limiting myself so that I would not limit the Spirit of God and His will being done on earth as it is in heaven.

Why would He do that?

Because the very thing that has come up against me in my life, I’ve had to overcome in order to help others to overcome. Because God has given me a great mandate, my journey is a great one. Because to whom much is given, much is required. Because there was a problem in the earth, I was deployed by the One True Living God to be the solution to that problem. Because I had to know that greater is He that is in me than he who is in the world.

Because I had to learn to look past people to see the spirit working behind them and Untold Chronicles | 40

confront the real enemy, who is after me, my seed, and my legacy. Because I had to understand that I am to demonstrate the goodness of God and His mercy that endures. Because the same God who loves me, sent His Son to die for me and had given me the Comforter, Holy Spirit to help me overcome life, is the same God today, yesterday, and forever more! Because if He did it for me, He will do it for you if you let him.

Today, I stand proudly, no longer a rejected, inadequate and abandoned orphan, but a child of the Most-High God, who has confirmed, called, elected me and given me my identity. I proudly wear the label He’s given me as a Freedom Fighter and Authenticity Advocate.

And I have stopped by to tell you, that you, just like me, are yet learning, yet growing, and yet becoming. God’s grace is sufficient.

He knows where you are and where He wants you to be. Take the time restraints off yourself, cast off the guilt, shame, and condemnation. Give God your rejection, abandonment, and comparison.

Most importantly, give God your “Yes!” He’s got you from there.

More information at www.mformasterpiece.com Contact Information: Website: www.mformasterpiece.com Email: info.masterpieceseries@gmail.com Phone: 904-520-1082

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Community & Ministry CjG The Enterprise houses two sublets; Masterpiece Series LLC and Woven with Purpose.

They both are founded on Kingdom principles. Masterpiece Series caters to marketplace endeavors, while Woven with Purpose integrates more community and faith-based endeavors Masterpiece Series LLC was launched in 2017. Authentically Yours LifeStyle Coaching and Speaking Services has already launched under this sublet.

Woven with Purpose will be released this year. This organization is a sublet under the CjG The Enterprise’s umbrella, housing all ministry related endeavors. Woven with Purpose is launching via its first event, a women’s retreat. This retreat is scheduled for September 2019. It is for women who are ready to claim their inheritance as daughters God and coheirs with Christ. There is indeed, a rich inheritance for the daughters!

Partnerships: - My Message Matters Conference Tour - Emerging Leaders Group - Teal Talk with Fiechia featuring Jai • • • • • • • • •

My Message Matters Conference Tour: Planning Committee/Conference Speaker My Message Matters Conference 2019: www.mymessagematters.om Woven with Purpose Organization’s first annual Women’s Retreat in September 2019 Amazon’s Best-Selling Co-Author: Barren in a Fruitful Land: 30 Day Devotional Author of OVERCOMER: Mastering Defining Moments Through Prayer and Fasting Co-Author of My Message Matters: Unveiling Your God-given Potential Praise 107.9 radio host: Emerging Leaders group: Arise and Manifest Broadcast Online co-host: Teal Talk with Fiechia: Where Real Chatter Matters Board Member: The Annie Ruth Foundation: Teen Personal and Professional Development/ Summer Internship Program (www.annieruthfoundation.org) • Emerging Leaders Group: Arise and Manifest: Radio Co-host Saturdays @ 8pm on Praise 107.9 (download app) Events: • Savannah, GA: May 19th Mending Hearts: Women’s Edition: Father Wounds • Jacksonville, FL: June 1st One Day Prayer Symposium: Prevailing in Prayer • Jacksonville, FL: July 20th My Message Matters Conference: Level Up • Fruit Cove, FL: August 23-25th Gathering Of Daughters Women’s Weekend Retreat

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To book a screening of New World Order at your church or the McCoy’s contact Lady Antoinette McCoy (623) 565-0876 or rent New World Order at www.dnafilmworks.com/stream/buy.

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Evangelist Melissa Williams “My Truth” The Mother, CEO, Minister, Author, Radio Host & Philanthropist Melissa F. Williams is an emerging International Voice for this generation. She is an eclectic trail blazer, who carries a Prophetic Mantle and Apostolic Mandate in the Kingdom of God. Evangelist Williams is chosen by GOD to spread the gospel of Jesus through demonstration and power. She is a highly requested Conference and Keynote Speaker who delivers a powerful prophetic message in a nontraditional approach. God uses her wholehearted devotion as she travels the country to demonstrate her tagline “God uses the flawed but Chosen”.

Melissa Williams is humbled and honored to submit and serve under the leadership Of Bishop Dreyfus C. Smith. The Founder & Pastor of Wings Of Faith Worldwide Ministries in Conley Georgia.

After enduring a host of trails throughout her life, In 2006 to the present- God has given Melissa Williams the vision of establishing Melissa Williams Ministry, Daughters of Destiny Inc., The Youth EMPOWERMENT Outreach & Mentoring program and The Empowerment Learning Academy where she is the CEO. All established in Birmingham Alabama – They serve the community by offering quality education, Mentorship Programs, Help One Feed One, yearly Toy Drive, Single Parent Childcare assistance, Financial literacy, GED Prep Courses and many youth initiative programs.

Under the leadership of Melissa Williams, her ministry has provided thousands of school supplies and extensive outreach to her community. It is this kind of hands on ministry that has impacted the lives in her community and provoked her to open The Empowerment Centers.

She is the bestselling author of “Doubt And Destiny Don’t Mix” and “After This” 10 tips MOVING beyond Heartbreak.

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W

ow, today is one of the most beautiful yet exciting days of my life! My plane has just landed and I’m off the plane to head home to prepare for a speaking Engagement. This Conference is what I believe to be an opportunity that allows me to operate In a different light outside of the walls of church ministry. I have the greatest opportunity to speak at the Mary Kay Business Success Empowerment seminar. For two (2) years in a row, I’ve been asked to be the guest speaker and what a privilege it is! As I’m studying my prepared speech, I begin to listen to a worship song and I begin to pray asking the Father to be with me, guide me and speak through me.

But there is something so different going on within me that I must admit. I’m feeling lost, somewhat unbalanced and uncertain. But

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almost immediately, my prayer is… “ Lord I need you to make things clear to me”.

Often times we find ourselves operating in a capacity that reveals our gifts and talents but also leaves us feeling unfulfilled. And for many, we feel if we’ve accomplished some level of success in a particular field, then we stop there. Never to venture or question is there more. For me, today I’m at the crossroads of analyzing is there more to my life than where I am. Yes, I travel all across the country and my life is rewarding but something is missing. Today is that day for me where I have questions and no answers. Even though this speaking engagement is huge for me and I absolutely love what I do, I need to know is this it? Am I really following the path or plan He has preordained for my life.

So I’m getting ready in the restroom and as

“I’ve made up my mind that this year would be the greatest year of my life. And it will be because I’m going to be Empty when it’s over. Only to have capacity to be filled back up to do more.”

I’m putting my makeup on, in a still voice I hear in my spirit “ if you tap into who you are , you will tap into where you’re supposed to be” . OMG!!! Did I just hear that?

Did the Holy Spirit just say this to me? I am in awe. So, quickly I run to my bedroom to grab my journal which this one just happened to be on my iPhone to begin typing and suddenly I began to cry… The tears start to stream down my contoured Mac face and instantly I say in a whisper…. “Show me”. “I gather myself, continue to get dressed and make my way to the Convention Center.

While in route, I can’t help but to keep thinking about what had previously happened at home. I’m at a place in my life where doing life and wasting precious time in the wrong lane is not for me. I’ve made up my mind that this year would be the greatest year of my life. And it will be because I’m going to be Empty when it’s over. Only to have capacity to be filled back up to do more.

As I arrive at the Convention Center, I’m greeted at the door by the host and her assistant, and they are so charming and welcoming. They are informing me as to how excited

they are to have me as their guest speaker, and I reply likewise. I’m escorted to the green room to meditate. As I enter into this room I find myself pacing the floor because a part of me is excited but yet sitting on pins and needles. Shortly afterwards, I tell them I’m ready and I’m then escorted in a room full of successful beautiful black women. They are clapping, the room is full of energy and they are having an amazing time! Then I’m told These Executives, CEO, single mothers, women with dreams, women who are ready to achieve & build are excited to hear from me. Wow! No pressure right? It’s fascinating to be in such an electrifying atmosphere!

Well, the time is fastly approaching and I’m sitting there going over my speech and notes that I had prepared to transform the lives of the hundreds of women in the room. And suddenly, I hear that still voice again say “if you tap into who you are , you will tap into where you’re supposed to be”. Then I hear him say, “trust me “. I pause, I ponder, I breath & exhale. As if the host could hear the pause in the conversation between the Lord and myself. She introduces me, and suddenly the audience begins to applaud. I take to the stage and without realizing it, I opened my mouth Untold Chronicles | 47

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“I opened my mouth and my purpose, my experience , my life, the word of the Lord all began to just start flowing out of me like rivers of living water ...” and everything that had been prepared for me to say in my iPad seemed to not matter anymore. I opened my mouth and my purpose, my experience , my life, the word of the Lord all began to just start flowing out of me like rivers of living water as if I wasn’t myself . A continuation of Words of expression regarding destiny & propose just begin to proceed out of me as if my mouth was a human faucet and someone had turned the knob to on. So much so, until I never read my notes.

I began to just allow what was in me to give life. Finally, after such an amazing evening, full of twist, joyous moments of celebration and some moments that made me stop in my tracks. The evening was winning down and now the moment of truth is upon me. It’s the moment when everyone else leaves the party, when the lights go off and everyone returns to their own homes. I decide hey, the night is young, I’m in a great mood why not just do the norm, and take yourself out to dinner. I drive to one of my favorite restaurants J Alexander’s sitting and reflecting over my evening. As the waiter begins to converse with me, I’m always asked the same question even if it’s by the same waiter from previous visits, “ are you dining alone” ? And “yes” is always my reply. Well I’m sitting here reflecting and

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at the same time face timing my assistant but really my sister Ashley and we begin to speak for a while. So I’m sitting there eating and then it happens… The moment that made me angry, yet I remained so calmed. It was a reality check for me. I’m eating. And my partial broke. What! Again?! I’m so bothered because all I’m thinking is here I go again. I quickly try to fix it before anyone can see and hold it in place in my mouth. Now, the truth is I’m not upset totally because it broke. No, it’s deeper than that. This story doesn’t start here at the dinner table. This story started a few Years ago. …this is a truth about the life I’d lived that not many people knew. It was a life that has helped shape me into the women the Lord wanted to be. It’s the story about my life that allowed me to tap into who I was, so I can know where I belong.

When I was asked to share a part of my story, IMMEDIATELY I was excited about the opportunity, but nervous about how to express it. Not due to fear of exposing the truth but living my life in it’s now reality. Not that I haven’t written two (2) books before which leaves no stones unturned. Something was different this time. Sharing uncovers the pain or hurt from it all, while pulling the curtain

of embarrassment and taking the blinders of shame off. It could possibly expose people but deliver the needed. It has a strong possibility to awaken sleeping Giants. And yet has the power to put to rest that which is sleepless while having the bury that which is dead. So to simply share, is not a hard thing. It’s the aftermath that many times its necessary. In the most helpful and healing way, digging up bones that you’ve never really buried or having to relive a life that you once hated to live in, or past that has honestly molded me to be who I am . However, it has also given me access to rooms in the corridor of my life that have been boarded up… It’s amazing to me how often we can experience the most traumatic times In our lives and yet, we are skilled enough to live through life as if it has never existed or for a better term, ever happened.

er of God that in the mist of preaching to his people, all I could do was weep in His presence. It was such an encounter with the Lord.

Well, that Sunday my assistant Ashley and I caught a late flight to return to our home city and we were extremely excited. This day was to me, as that of any other flight back home.

On the plane My assistant and I discussed our weekend ministry trip and of course we laughed and enjoyed each other’s company.

This Sunday night flight was like that of many others we had taken. We slept, joked and shared conversations about love, life & our future plans. As our flight landed in our city we were both tired but excited to be home. However, I believe we had jet lag, so we decided to grab some late night dinner to eat before we separated. As the night was well spent, my beautiful Assistant went her way and I went mine. Upon arrival to my home I was finally so exhausted. All I wanted to do was to get in my bed and get lost under the covers. It is now approximately 1:30 am.

A few hours later my phone begins to ring about 5a.m. I don’t answer due to the time and I’m TIRED! I think to myself, stay sleep Melissa, they will call back! We’ll the ringing stops, only to start again. I look to see who it is and the caller ID displays my childcare

“..She said in the most apologetic way, yet terrified tone of voice I had ever heard… “Ms. Melissa, they found two (2) dead bodies in the parking lot.”

We’ll for me Monday June 12, 2017 was the day I was awaken. I had previously spent a weekend in Capitol Heights, Maryland where I had been invited to preach the 18th Pastoral and church Anniversary for a very dear friend of mine. It had been one of the many assignments this year that not only did the Lord do something for his people, in the mist of me ministering. I experienced a pow-

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number. I put the phone to my ear and say “Hello”. Only to hear my childcare Directors voice say “ Ms. Melissa, I’m so sorry to wake you , but I need you to come to the daycare”.

With my eyes still close, I pause to take a deep breath because I really want to believe I’m dreaming this phone call and at any given time I will doze back off to sleep. But unfortunately, almost in a whisper, I reply again “Hello”. My director in such a calming tone says to me again, “Ms. Melissa, I’m sorry to wake you, but you need to come to the daycare” . In her voice, I no longer heard the sound of calmness, I heard pain. What’s going on? I ask. She said in the most apologetic way, yet terrified tone of voice I had ever heard… “Ms. Melissa, they found two (2) dead bodies in the parking lot”. Immediately, I sit straight up in the bed… hang up the phone, jump out the bed, throw on clothes and a hat, run down my stairs into the garage. I jump into my vehicle and repeat without a sound what she said to me over in my head. As I’m driving down the street I start to pray. Asking the Lord to be with me as I face what is awaiting my arrival. So many things are going through my mind, is it one (1) of my families enrolled at my childcare center?

Lord is it my own family? Nothing can prepare me for this life changing encounter. All of a sudden I felt His peace. As I drive and get closer to my childcare my heart begins to beat faster. I arrive at the childcare which is now apparently a crime scene. The parking lot In front and around the childcare is now a place of hurt and pain. I park to see all the police cars, the many media outlets and news reporters, and my heart is racing… So I quickly jump out of my vehicle and attempt to run to the front entrance door of the facility but as I begin to run, in my view to my left is a car with two (2) dead bodies sitting in it. My heart feels like it’s about to fail me. I go inside to see my director in tears and she says to me … “Ms. Melissa, Look”. I look to see a black Woman sitting on the sidewalk of my childcare crying. As I walk to approach her, I could hear the pain in her voice. It’s a sound of deep hurt. One that I had never heard but my soul felt as she cried. I leaned over to this woman I have never meet a day in my life and embrace her. Only to hear the words that will haunt me for life. She said to me in almost a shattered whisper, as I held her In my arms… This woman spoke “that’s not my baby”. Omg, instantly I’m thinking “her

“The name of her deceased 19 year old daughter who had just been murdered ...had the exact name as my oldest daughter. At this moment, we were no longer strangers in passing.”

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“I have a broken nose, swollen forehead, fractured jaw, broken teeth, bruised an unrecognizable face, gashed tongue, right above my right cheek ... I was left for three(3) days to die.. ” baby”? As I embraced this fragile but strong woman, my heart aches for her and my mind thinks “Oh My God”!... What is happening!!

I’m hugging her, as she lays her head on my shoulder. I’m continuously repeating “I’m so sorry”. This woman is screaming to the top of her lungs at the police, “ please let me see my baby”. With little to no time, the officer responds and says , “ mam I’m sorry I can’t, let you pass this yellow tape. She looks into my eyes and says but in a question form, as tears are streaming down her face, “why”?.

With much hesitation and compassion for this mother, all I could say again was, “I’m so sorry “. As time proceeds, I find myself in the middle of a tug of war. This war is of great emotion. Between life and death, but prayer and reality. Between the strength granted to me and the sorrow I still feel. My only resolve is to continue to do what comes natural and that is to pray. I find myself not only holding this grieving mother but I’m witnessing on hand the tremendous pain of this mother. As the family and friends gather together to console one another. Now officers are approaching myself and this mother escorted by the coroners. They confirm her baby was deceased. She falls to the ground and she beUntold Chronicles | 54

gan to scream her baby girl’s name. With a scream I had never heard before, it was like unto a sound from deep within her soul. She yelled her child’s name and instantly my heart pricked. The name of her deceased 19 year old daughter who had just been murdered by her boyfriend before he took his own life, had the exact name as my oldest daughter. At this moment, we were no longer strangers in passing. She had become a siren of reminders. A sound of awakening pain, shame, hurt & anger... This alarm resurfaced a part of my life that I had made myself forget about, but faced the results of it daily. No longer was this just a sad ending. This day, this tragedy, this moment in my life, her and her family life had now become a reminder to me as to how God had spared my life. What had become a distant memory was now a present thought.

I woke up….

NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER… Some women are burned in the fire, Some are lost in the ashes, But some are made in it.

I have a Broken nose, swollen forehead, fractured jaw, broken teeth, bruised an unrecognizable face, gashed tongue, right above my right cheek I have a gash in my face with 32 stitches and on my left hand, 2 of my fingers are cut as a result of me grabbing the butcher knife the abuser tried to use to cut my throat….then …. I was left for three (3) days to die… oh and did I mention, I’m a Christian...

How did I get here? Why me? How did I choose someone like him? Why did he beat me like this? Am I weak? I thought he loved me? Am I a victim of Domestic violence?

If we never talk about the wrongs In our life celebrating the rights will not have the applauds it deserves. Many times we don’t have the privilege to choose our pains or how they scare us. Our hurts and how they have the power and ability to dictate our life journey.

The shame of a untold testimony because, the church has created a platform of pretenders with titles and mask. Untold disappointments a person wrestles with because of past choices they made. And ultimately, The daily fight and conscience decision to decide to live with present disabilities or dysfunctions due to the hand of one who’s called assassi-

nation. This is my truth.

Most often we don’t really understand how they choose us. But life is like Forest Gump said… “It’s like a box of chocolate, and you never know what you’ll get”. Well, for me my life must have been the chocolate factory.

There were so many situations and circumstances, falls and get ups until life as I knew it was never a real joy to me. Life as I knew it was hell. Have you ever just gone through so much until it feels like you never get a break?

You never really find a sense of purpose. And you never really adapt to happiness because that’s foreign. Well for me my life from the outside could and was judge wrong all the time. I have always had to live my life as if I was stronger than anything or anyone who tried to kill me, sabotage my dream or assassination my character. I’ve had to hold my head up when others were looking just to go behind closed doors to cry my head off. But I’m so grateful to God that he saw the best I me when others saw the worsts. I’m so happy that the most detrimental situations in my life have made me the voice of one who knows I survive what the enemy thought would cause me shame. I am a black woman the Lord continues to use what was a mess in my

“Many times we don’t have the privilege to choose our pains or how they scare us. Our hurts and how they have the power and ability to dictate our life journey.”

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life to give me a miracle and at the same time introduce me to the real Melissa. Who am I, A Serial Entrepreneur, Evangelist, a Radio Host, best-selling Author, and Mother. I am not just a survivor of domestic violence who was left for three (3) days to die by the hands of a man. I am an advocate for forgiveness.

I am an example of the word of God being revealed. To pray for those, that do, all matters of evil against you. I am the evidence of when God has a plan for your life it doesn’t matter where you start, it matters where you end. My start was brutal but my today is Beautiful. Yes, even though I love God now.

I was angry as hell for Him allowing me to go through such pain! Can you imagine being the preachers daughter and hearing God loves you but yet He permits attempted murder! Can you imagine the shame of looking in the mirror and not recognizing yourself but the saints say “but God has a plan”. Can you imagine after many of the outward scars healed, just the struggle to remember a story you read becomes a task? This is my truth. I’ve gone from living life in regret and shame to sharing my testimony to millions as to where pain can lead you if you allow the Lord to heal you.

After many years of dealing with the aftermath of the abuse, I’ve had to train myself to look in the mirror and be okay. It’s hard to, live through such abuse and every time someone looks at you in the face you wonder if they are looking at the scar. I’ve had to live past the scars the memories, the nightmares, and literally body pains that come from such abuse, to understanding that my yesterday has just been a setup for my comeback. Today I live a life as a World renowned Evangelist whom the Lord has graced to travel the countr y preaching His word. I have the honor of speaking to millions of women at seminars, conferences, or even one on one across the country that my testimony has been the pathway to healing for them. I’m always so humbled to share with people the way out. My way out, was through forgiveness. I had to forgive the person who left me for dead. I had to forgive the person who betrayed me and caused me a life of realities that others don’t know I live with daily. But forgiveness for me was the gift that continues to be a blessing that keeps on giving. Living in this path releases me from the control of shame & fear.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool but an even greater weapon. It’s the tool that you use to

“Who am I, A Serial Entrepreneur, Evangelist, a Radio Host, best-selling Author, and Mother. I am not just a survivor of domestic violence...”

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“Never make the pain of your life, the limit of your life. ” drill what’s been sealed closed and it’s the power to live. Forgiveness for some does not happen overnight but it is a process. For me the steps seemed as if the ladder I as climbing I was never going to get there. But I will never forget the moment I knew I had arrived to the destination of healing. It was the moment of truth standing face to face with the giant in my life. It was the moment I had to look at my abuser in the face and didn’t want to kill him. It’s the moment when I began to pray for the one who didn’t understand it was because of them my prayer life went to another dimension because I was praying for the deliverance of their soul. I knew for me that forgiveness was a true way of healing when I had to confront them to tell him, I forgive you. At that moment, I had such a peace. It is my prayer that regardless to whatever cards life has dealt you that you will not allow it to stop you from living on purpose. The most amazing things to me are when the Lord reveals to you what qualifies you to live a life others are astonished by. The truth of the matter is, the trials you’ve had to live past, is what will continue to be the very thing that equips and empower you to continue to be a successful person. Never make the pain of your life, the limit of your life. Allow what caused you pain to identify Untold Chronicles | 60

with your purpose. It’s through the pains of life that victory feels so good! It’s after you’ve suffered a while, that the highs of your Tomorrow mean so much more. Never stop in the pain of it all, you’ll miss the purpose that you were born for. And today, I know I was Born for this. If I had not lived through it all, I wouldn’t know my own strength. If I had not faced the pain of it, I would not know how to love, celebrate, cherish and honor every day the people that love me whom God has brought into my life. Life is always a reminder that you’re alive. Whether life is introducing you to another blow, or if it’s another accomplishment, allow the plan of God to lead the way and introduce to you what you were born to do. There is nothing that can stop you. You are who you are by the grace of God and it’s through Him that you shall BECOME what you believe. Start living your life on purpose and watch purpose be your divine escort to doors you never would have thought you’d walk through. People you thought you would never connect with, and take you to places you’d only dreamed about.

I’m not telling you of something I’ve heard, but a life I now live.

Welcome to freedom in forgiveness.

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Prophetic words for the soul I Am The Fountain Of Life Within You

By Becky Porter

I hear the Lord saying: Things are about to pick up speed in a way that will startle and amaze you! Things you have hoped for, prayed for, and stood and waited for are SUDDENLY going to come to pass! Harvest time awaits you – the harvest doors are about to be opened, and oh, the abundance of harvest blessings that await you! Your steadfastness and tenacity have paid off – I am well pleased with your progress and your “stick to it” attitude – you did not give up, even in the midst of great adversity. Well done, My good and faithful one – well done!

Your rewards will far outweigh all of the difficulty that you have walked through, and all that you have learned and gleaned from those experiences has positioned you and prepared you for what lies ahead. If you had not walked through those great difficulties and adverse circumstances, you would not be equipped for the destiny and future that I have prepared for you. You have learned much and you have grown Untold Chronicles | 62

much – there is a wealth of knowledge on the inside of you that is a fountain of life that I am going to begin to pull up and pour out on those who have need of it. The wisdom I have placed inside of you far exceeds your natural age, and I will use that wisdom to minister to the young and the old, the learned and the unlearned, those who have position and rank, and those who do not.

It is a supernatural fountain of life that will spring forth from deep within you and pour into the desert places wherever you encounter them. Do not pay attention to the giants in the land, for wherever there is new territory, there are always new obstacles to overcome, but remember that I have placed within you every single thing you need for every situation you will ever encounter – you lack absolutely nothing!

There is a newness of life on the inside of you, and it will spring forth as a never-ending fountain of life that will satisfy the thirsty, the hungry, and the weary. I will bring those to you who

are in need, and as they begin to share their hearts with you, it will tap into the rich wells of life I have placed within you, and those Living Waters will begin to pour forth in ways that will surprise, amaze, and delight you! You will immediately recognize that I Am The Fountain Of Life within you, and I Am the One who gives the people what they need. Without Me you can do nothing, but with Me, you can do ALL THINGS! As you continue to spend intimate time in My Word and in My presence, you will have an abundance of fresh and Living Waters continuously pouring forth from your innermost being.

Scriptures to keep in mind John 7:37-38 On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”

Proverbs 13:14 The instruction of the wise is like a life-giving fountain; those who accept it avoid the snares of death.

Proverbs 18:4 Wise words are like deep waters; wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My loving kindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available— regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.

James 1:2-4 Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.

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