D I S C US S I ON G UI D E It is G od’ s prom ise t o y o u t ha t a s y o u co nt i nue t o a d v e nt ur e t o g e t he r a n d seek His w isdo m i n y o ur r e l a t i o ns hi p , H e w i l l r e v e a l hi m s e l f t o y o u in bea u t ifu l w a y s. Co z y up a nd d i v e i nt o w ha t G o d ha s i n s t o r e f o r y o u t h rou gh some h on e s t d i s cus s i o n, r e f l e ct i o n a nd p r a y e r . Be s ur e t o ha v e y ou r bible h a n dy . I f y o u d o n’t ha v e a cce s s t o o ne , che ck o ut t he Bi b l e G a t ew a y a pp a va il a b l e o n y o ur A p p l e o r A nd r o i d d e v i ce . A s y ou en joy a few l a ug hs w i t h e a ch o t he r t o ni g ht , y o u’l l b e g i v e n t he c h a n c e t o observe ho w i ncl i ne d y o u a r e t o r e s p o nd w i t h p a t i e nce . U s e t h is opport u n it y t o t a k e a cl o s e r l o o k a t t he r o l e t hi s v i r t ue p l a y s i n y o ur spirit u a l w a lk .
JAMES 1:2-4 “ Co ns i d e r i t p ur e j o y , m y b r o t he r s a nd s i s t e r s , w h en ever y ou f a ce t r i a l s o f m a ny k i nd s , b e ca us e y o u k no w t ha t t he t est in g of y ou r f a i t h p r o d uce s p e r s e v e r a nce . Le t p e r s e v e r a nce f i ni s h it s w ork so t h at y o u m a y b e m a t ur e a nd co m p l e t e , no t la c k in g a n y t h ing . ”
oppression?”—Psalm 44:24 “I pour out my complaint before Him; before Him I tell my trouble.”—Psalm 142:2
WHAT IS PATIENCE, REALLY?:
If I were to ask you for your definition of the word “patience”, what answer would you give? If all that comes to mind are simply examples of patience, let’s dig a little deeper. Defining patience as “waiting without complaint” is in itself not all that virtuous, wouldn’t you say? Thinking back on your day, how many times did you find yourself in waiting? I’m sure that you don’t feel the urge to pat yourself on the back for not whining while in line at Chick-Fil-A ®, or while you waited for the radio to play your favorite song. Accompanying your lack of complaint, there should be the presence of some type of discomfort to require patience. It’s because a circumstance is uncomfortable that your lack of complaint is counted as patience. The word patience can be more accurately defined as “enduring trial without complaint.” I’m sure that you can list several obvious situations in your life right now where you are given the opportunity to practice this virtue. Take a minute to recognize one situation requiring patience that you are in the midst of, and one that you have endured and grown from as a couple. Keep them at the forefront of your mind as you continue your discussion.
HAVING PATIENCE WITH GOD:
Patience with God can be challenging at times, because it’s not always clear whether it’s God we’re waiting for, or whether we should even wait on Him at all. How familiar are the following thoughts: Have we waited too long rather than taking more action? Have we taken the right steps? Should we pursue outside help in this endeavor? God doesn’t always make it clear to us which course of action we should take, or if we should just wait patiently. Even more difficult to accept at times; there’s no guarantee that God will honor your patience with the outcome you desire. Yes, according to Ps. 37:4 if you “delight yourself in the Lord… He will give you the desires of your heart.” This is not a promise that all of our present desires will be fulfilled the way we want them to be. Sometimes they are, but sometimes God keeps this promise by adjusting our desires to align them with His will. If this is disappointing, remember that even if God does change our desires, they are still our sincere desires. Can you think of a time when God honored your patience in a situation by exceeding your expectations? Why do you think it’s so difficult to come back to a place of trust everytime we encounter a new difficulty even when God has shown His sovereignty to us in the past?
IS IT WRONG TO COMPLAIN?: Patiently enduring major afflictions deserves healthy complaint. Complaining in prayer is welcomed by your Heavenly Father. He is in control of whatever concerns you. Bringing your longing to the Lord displays your faith in His ability to answer your prayers. We are speaking to our Father who knows our past, present, and future, and works all things together for good. The Psalms are filled with accounts such as these: “Why, O Lord, do You stand far off? Why do You hide yourself in times of trouble?”—Psalm 10:1 “Why do You hide Your face and forget our misery and
Do you find that you are more inclined to hide your frustrations from the Lord, or express them as the Psalmist does? Do you complain to each other more often that you bring your longings to the Lord?
PRACTICING PATIENCE:
As you go throughout your day, you may not be aware of just how many opportunities you have to practice patience. Your spiritual strength is constantly being refined through how you choose to handle even the most mundane experiences of the day. You shouldn’t be surprised by this growth if you believe that God is always at work in the details. He is constantly conforming His children to His image. It is important to note, though, that we do have the ability to slow this process if we choose to respond with a bitter or resentful spirit, rather than a patient one. Encourage each other continually to remember the joys that come with cultivating a spirit of patience when you find it easiest to act out of haste or frustration. Choose one or two of the night’s activities to repeat. Practice letting your focus not be on the clock or even your desired outcome, but responding to the task at hand with patience. Was your experience much different?
PRAYER AND REFLECTION:
During your activities tonight, observe your natural inclination to rush your desired outcome. Things don’t always go the way we want them to when we act out of haste, do they? Though these activities are meant to be enjoyable and light hearted, they give us an honest little peek at our spirit of patience. Are you more likely to vocalize your feelings of urgency? Or get “in the zone” and quietly focus? Practicing patience can be difficult, but as we read in James chapter 1, “the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” there are countless opportunities for your faith to flourish. Continue to talk with each other about ways that you can foster a spirit of patience. Close out your discussion with a time of prayer. If you’re not sure where to start; pray these words: Lord, thank You for sending Your son, Jesus, to pay the ultimate price for our sins. You made it possible for us to live in communion with You and Your spirit is at work within us. Lord, we pray that You would open our eyes to see the many opportunities throughout the day to practice an attitude of patience. For the heavy burdens that we carry, Father, we pray that You would grant us humility, faith, and perseverance as we patiently wait on You to lead the way.
AMEN