Favorite things

SAR, BAHRAIN ___ Once upon a time, when I was a young girl I would love to be my own boss. One who indulges in her own fantasies being lived out loud with a few other people named Barbie and Ken; a place where even the characters that were used in said imaginations were all in control of my own self created reality. It was a place along with a state of mind where no one could tell me I was, “doing it wrong!” It was an ideal location where I wouldn’t get yelled at for taking the other girl’s clothes. No. This place wouldn’t have anything like that.

I would yearn to be alone where I would love to have the final say. Well the only say really. It was a place where only my rules and ultimate indulgent lifestyle were being lived in the ultimate fantasy. One that wasn’t, still isn’t, allowed to be lived out loud in the society I was born and raised in but I lived it through the lives of both Barbie and Ken. It was fabulous. Those were the best years of my life.

I had it all: the ultimate role model Barbie along with all of her ugly sisters and some other Barbie dolls that I had received as presents from friends and families. These dolls were all apart of a family living in the dream house with that pink dream beach car, which was most appropriate for the desert climate I resided in. Then there was Ken. Oh the tall, chiseled, rugged, Ken who was only ever Barbie’s boyfriend but all of the other dolls wanted him. I think there’s a word for that in current American society.

Every time I felt sad or lonely, that 6-year-old version of myself would take the Barbie house out and start to play with the characters. Every time, a different scene was set. From being on the beach one day, to going out to a romantic dinner with a giant roasted turkey, that I had never seen anywhere other than in the movies before coming to college. Yes, I was living the good life through the use of these dolls. What could go wrong?

Years later, it started to rain a lot which ironically for Bahrain made it a rare day. But for me, it was the most inopportune day.

It was when things started to take a turn. It was the day the childhood I had ended.

It was the day my parents decided to end my 10 year old childhood by selling my Barbie house thereby taking my hopes and dreams away.

It was through the use of the Barbie house where I felt as though I could live my own life in many different ways than I could have ever been able to live them out loud in the society I was brought up in. It was on that gloomy day when my parents were telling me, ‘it’s time to grow up.’ But to me it was a nightmare. I didn’t know what I would do without that house that I had never stepped in, or those inanimate dolls that grew into much more than that to me.

I was going through a midlife crisis at the age of 10. Can you believe it?

Years down the line, I realized how I didn’t need Barbie or any other kind of doll to help my imagination grow so I started reading. I read, read, read oh so many books that allowed my imagination to run wild.

Until this day, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer is still one of my favorite books. Reading that book moved me from falling in love with classical books and movies too! Once again, those two elements allowed my imagination to run wild one more time.

Most of you won’t probably believe the next thing that you’re going to read however, I can reassure you of the truth behind it. I fell in love with the movie Gone with the Wind in all its portrayals of war, love, and above all else for a 10-year-old girl…the dresses. At this point, I would watch the movie over and over again at first just to look at the beautiful dresses. But later on, I was paying attention to the plot line and the history behind it trying to catch up with it and attempting to make sense out of it.

I believe it was right then and there that I decided how I wanted to become an American just like everyone else in the iconic movie and just like Barbie and Ken too. It was right then when I realized how my drams aren’t out of my reach. Not a little. Not even at all.

Later on in my life I realized how it was through the use of that house and dolls that my imagination expanded on an exponential level. It was because of Barbie that led me to believe how I can do whatever I wanted to do. I was always deemed to be one who was in my own little world and until this day that is something I would not trade for anything. It was because of being in my own little world has lead me to focus on the things that are important to me. Like my own dreams.