HIGH SCHOOL GUIDE
November 2022 NortheastOhioParent.com
#Teen Life What Parents Need to know Study Habits To Help Get On Track
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The Stages of
Teens
Help to navigate teen's mental health to learning skills for adulthood.
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eing a teen has new responsibilities and new challenges to tackle in the four years they are at high school. For parents, knowing how to help navigate your teen’s social, academic, and mental needs is anything but easy. Natalie Borrell, a certified academic life coach and licensed school psychologist and founder of Life Success for Teens (lifesuccessforteens.com), provides tips on how to help your teen become the best version of themselves possible. MENTAL HEALTH
No one ever wants to feel like they are alone. A child needs the love and support from their parents, and when the time comes to ask “how are you doing,” make sure you listen rather than lecture. Knowing the warning signs of anxiety or depression within your teen can help determine the right kind of help your teen needs early on. Borrell provides some helpful tips: • Ask your child how their day has been and what they did today. Find time to ask this question while preparing dinner or watching TV, so it doesn’t feel like you are interrogating them. • Tell them that you are here to listen and to make them feel comfortable. Try not to pry information out of your child; when they are ready to share, they will tell you how they’re feeling. • When your child opens up to you, do not judge them or try to critique their actions. Say “I understand,” or “that sounds like a difficult situation. How can I help?” • Be honest and open with your teen. Show them that you struggle with mental health too. Share ways that you overcome your mental health struggles. • Try bonding by doing activities that release stress and anxiety. Try going on a walk with your child, going to yoga classes, or taking some time after dinner to sit down, listen to music, and journal. Be a part of their healing process. “Adding in some type of self care as part of your daily routine is so important,” Borrell says. Parents can get involved in
By Georgia Lattas
that by modeling it themselves. Talk about it and model self care and talk about coping skills. It is all normal.” If your child has difficulty maintaining relationships, struggles academically, no longer engages in leisure activities, has repetitive, self-destructive behaviors, withdraws from family, friends, and usual activities, has a change in sleep or appetite, and/or talks about self-harm or suicide, consult with a mental health professional.
“I
think having a
Discussion about family rules first. Give them all the information they need to hopefully make the right decision" Natalie Borrell, Life Success for Teens “I think the first step is awareness of what the signs and symptoms of anxiety and depression are versus what is just normal teenage moodiness,” Borrell says. “To know when to seek professional help, I would say you have to look for subtle warning signs. I don't want to put a number on it, but a persistent change in mood that's for a long period of time” DRIVING
Beep, beep! Time to buy a “student driver” bumper sticker. As your child begins to learn how to drive, be sure to be patient with them. You were once a student driver, too.
“Have conversations about safety,” Borrell says. “We always feel like ‘nothing can ever happen to us,’ but things can happen so quickly that it’s important to emphasize safety first. Be very open with your teen about how driving can be anxiety provoking and stressful but it also gives us this amazing feeling of independence and you can see more of the world. Tell them how wonderful of an experience it can be as long as we keep these safety rules.” Here are some tips: • Be supportive and encouraging. Teens will feel more confident behind the wheel if their parents are positive and encouraging. • Be mindful of the wording you use. Teens are anxious behind the wheel. Tell them “we will turn left at the next intersection” rather than “turn left NOW.” • Telling them where to go ahead of time will make the driving experience go smoothly. • Tell your child to be aware of their surroundings. Always check your mirrors, your blind spot, and for other drivers around you. Lock your doors at all times and never roll the window down for strangers. Pay attention to ambulance/fire truck sirens and always use your turning signal. • Make sure to correct behavior rather than scold your child. If your child is speeding, rather than yelling at them to correct their speed, say “We always have to follow the speed limit for the safety of the driver, passengers, and people on the road. Did you check the speed limit?” • Be a good example for your child. Follow good driving practices when driving with your child. Monkey see, monkey do. • Try practicing how to drive during the day and when there’s good weather. • Driving at night and during a thunder storm or snowstorm may be too difficult for a first-time driver. - CONTINUED ON PAGE 4 -
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• Begin practicing in large, empty spaces. Go to a large empty parking lot or drive around a cemetery. Starting off on a busy road or highway may make your teen anxious and not know what to do. • Tell them it’s OK to fail. If they aren’t good at making turns, changing lanes, or braking properly, let them know that’s och. If they fail their driving test, let them know it’s OK. Practice makes perfect. • Tell your child the dangers of drinking and driving and the dangers of getting in the car with someone who is driving under the influence. Some friends/teammates/classmates may get their license before your teen. Let them know that is OK and to celebrate their friend’s success rather than look down upon the fact they don’t have their license yet. “I see so much comparison,” Borrell says. “Comparison is real. It happens across the board. Please remember that what you're seeing is just the highlight reel of somebody else's life. Where somebody else is ahead of you, they're also far behind you in another area of their life. You just don't know about it. Everybody has a story, right?” RELATIONSHIPS
Out with the old and in with the new. As teens move away from middle school to high school, they may lose touch with old middle school friends or may find it difficult to find a friend group in high school. “Find your people,” Borrell says. “So that can either be for the teenagers themselves or for parents to help facilitate that. Look for activities, clubs, sports organizations, that you are innately interested in If it’s not at school, then look in the community, maybe through your church." Lots of teens download Bumble or Tinder or other dating apps. Be cautious of the dangers of dating apps. Some people are not really who they say they are. Lots of people lie about their age, their appearance, and their intentions “My dating app safety tip is it's not safe,” Borrell says. “I don't approve of that at all. There are so many people misrepresenting themselves. I don't think teens have the emotional maturity to handle something like that. So I'm very anti dating app for teens.” She advises teens to be careful dating in high school. Make sure your child is involved in a healthy relationship. Look out for red flags. “A parent should always know who you're going out with face-to-face,” Borrell says. “It should not just be I'm going out with so and so and I'll see you later. It is a
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need to absolutely know where you're going and what time you're going to come home. If I've met the person, I know where you're going, and you can tell me what time you're going to be home then that would be okay, but I think those three things are absolutely necessary. “I think one of the most important things is to talk about and describe what a healthy relationship looks like and how it makes you feel,” Borrell says. “Teens don't necessarily realize that the type of relationship they're in is not healthy." Also, while in high school, teens may be pressured to do things they don’t want to do, such as drugs, drinking and/or sex. Talk to your kids about peer pressure and that they are never obligated to do something they don’t want to.
“One Of the Most Important Things Is To Talk about and Describe what a Healthy relationship Looks like and How it makes you feel. " Natalie Borrell, Life Success for Teens
“I think a lot of families have different expectations or rules about this behavior,” Borrell says. “I think having the discussion about family rules first, what the consequences will be, and then also what some other additional consequences could be outside of the home, is important. Give them all the information they need to hopefully make the right decision.” SCHOOL/SPORTS ACTIVITIES
Academics and extracurricular activities are a huge part of high school. “I do strongly feel that any type of sports or extracurricular activity that the pros outweigh the cons,” Borrell says. “That sense of being a part of a team, that sense of accomplishment and goal setting and working towards something.” Teens shouldn’t have to compete with classmates about taking AP or honors classes or getting the best GPA. Likewise, teens shouldn’t compete with teammates
about who got the most points or kicks and who is the MVP. School and extracurriculars should be fun, not a competition. “Ask for help,” Borrell says. “Now, that is very difficult for teenagers. But if we can talk about the importance of advocating for yourself and asking for help when needed, I think that's the first step. The other thing that I recommend is having a conversation with your teenager, under the umbrella of who's on your team, meaning if you're struggling with math, who are the people that you can go to at school, who can you go to? So that you know if and when there is an issue in a specific class, you've already figured out who it is that you can go to.” The ACT/SAT can be very stressful and Borrell advises not to compare scores. “Prepare early,” Borrell says. “There’s a lot of smart kids who don't do well on those tests, because part of doing well on that test is understanding the format of that test, the timing, the types of questions that are asked and being well practiced in all of that. So not only are you being tested on the material, but you're also being tested on the ability to take that type of test. So that's why the preparation is so important. And the earlier that you can get started on that the less daunting of a task it will seem.” TEEN JOBS
Most high schoolers get their first job around this age. Knowing how to answer questions in a job interview is uncharted territory and can be nerve-wracking Borrell says practice, practice, practice. Parents or friends can help teens conduct a pretend job interview to get them comfortable “Such a simple question like ‘tell me about yourself ’ in an interview seems very easy, right? It can be very difficult for a teen if they have not thought through that or maybe even scripted it out or done some bullet points in practice,” she says. “Also, make sure that they know all the basics about finding a job in terms of how you apply, how to fill out an application, what kinds of things to put on your resume, they might need to see some samples.” She advises: • Resumes can make or break whether you get a job or not. Have a teacher or some one in career services take a look at their resume and tweak it. • Make sure your child knows what to wear during their job interview and when they actually begin work. • Balancing a social life, work life and academic life can be tricky. No one ever said
it would be easy; take it one day at a time. “Time management is a huge issue for adults too, but also for teens,” Borrell says. “I think one of the best ways to look at that is to really figure out some ways to manage your time efficiently.” COLLEGE WORRIES
College applications, the Common App Essay, FAFSA — all are a stress inducer. They can get a head start on college plans to relieve any potential headaches. “The amount of support that a teenager is going to get with their college application process at school is going to vary greatly,” Borrell says. “So in some schools, they get a lot of support and hand holding through the process. But for other teenagers, they're not going to have that type of support. And so I think knowing the overall timeline of the college application process is important.” She advises to have them start planning early. Tour schools your junior year of high school. Decide what school best fits their mental, academic, spiritual, and social needs. Have them talk to a college counselor at school. See what options are available. They can start sending out their academic
transcript and ACT/SAT scores. Also, make sure to discuss financial aid options with the college. “So I think (teens) really need to do some assessments,” Borrell says. “So either like personality assessments, which (they) can do online. There's also career assessments that can kind of guide (them) towards a specific career cluster. (They) may even discover some careers you didn't know existed.”
“Please let your teen know that there are going to be bumps in the road,” she adds. “They're going to have days where they're moody, they're going to have times when they get in trouble. But if you can have this underlying unconditional love, I think that is so important. Let them know that there might be consequences to bad behavior, but that you will always love them and support them. I think that needs to be the tone of all conversations.”
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CREATING
GOOD
STUDY
HABITS
Tests can be stressful with each grade level, here are some ways to help them prepare. By Ginny McCabe Effective study tips can help children learn the skills and confidence they need in the classroom and beyond. Kaleb Curry, student success manager at Cuyahoga County Public Library says there are several things that contribute to a student’s success when it comes to studying and preparing for a test. “When looking for ways to help your child during testing, the first consideration should always be their mental state,” Curry says.
“Testing can be a high stakes experience, so parents will want to work with their children on managing stress and focus. This can include calming techniques and systems for keeping themselves on track.” A classic example to help with both is closing your eyes and taking three deep breaths to reorient. Students that have not considered or practiced these skills may find themselves overwhelmed by the very concept of the test, rather than the information tested within.
Make sure the child understands the importance of what they are doing as well. A sense of purpose builds motivation, Curry adds. “Parents can also consider the format of the test, he says.“Try and find ways to help your child become comfortable with the various formats they may take the test in.” CREATE CONSISTENT HABITS
Carmela Cira, a math teacher at Beachwood High School says taking good notes in class,
When it comes to some of the practical things students can do to improve their studies, Kaleb Curry, student success manager at Cuyahoga County Public Library offers these tips: • Schedule and Pace: Teachers warn kids about big tests for a reason. Scheduling and pacing your kid’s study lowers their mental strain and promotes retention of the information long past the test. Having them take short breaks as they study further lowers that mental burden and keeps their brain primed for learning.
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• Gamify Learning: When studying with your child you can take steps to gamify as well, such as turning it into a friendly competition or making it a family affair. For students that are studying solo, it can be about practicing the material in interesting ways such as speeches, drawings, or even jokes: whatever helps them practice while also keeping them entertained.
• Test in Multiple Ways: The problem with preparing too specific an answer is that kids freeze when presented the same question in a different way. So, while something like memorizing a flash card may be a good start, it is rarely enough. Have them practice speaking and writing about the subject. Challenge them to teach someone else about the topic. The further they push themselves, the more prepared they are for the unexpected.
asking for clarification when they don’t understand something, doing homework on time and correcting it are simple things students can do to prepare for a test without doing extra studying. To study, she says, it’s important to create good study habits and be consistent. “Some students may have test anxiety and have a hard time keeping calm and confident when they receive the test,” she says. “Some students worry too much about what others in the room are doing like how much they’re writing or calculating or how quickly they’ve turned a test in. Some students may get stuck on a question, and rather than moving on, they spend too much time trying to figure that one question out, rather than moving on to questions they can answer.” She says parents can be aware of upcoming tests and check in with their child on how their studying is going and hold them accountable. They can also help by quizzing their child or helping them find practice problems to work on. There are so many resources online to help students practice and parents can help them find a few. “Make sure there is an emphasis on school,” Cira says. “So many students work, play sports, play instruments and are involved in a lot of activities, but students need to remember that they are students first. School and learning need to be a priority. Parents can keep an eye on grades and the amount of schoolwork that their children are doing and check in to make sure that their children are keeping up and getting any resources or help they may need, especially if something seems to be hindering their learning.” Try to find fun ways to study that are more interactive, rather than simply sitting down and working through problems or reading notes, she adds. Other things parents can do are to use extrinsic rewards for studying and good grades, or reach out to teachers to ask
them for tips or additional resources to help. Alise Kulbago, a seventh-grade science teacher at Beachwood Middle School says paying attention to detail and preparing for day-to-day lessons and activities are also key. Students who succeed continuously stay on top of the content and are prepared for the daily work. “For me, what I’ve seen in my class, specifically with a student that does well, is one that has been doing the work, participating, and being involved in classroom discussions, rather than someone who tries to do a quick-review guide at the end of the unit, and attempts to pass a test,” Kulbago says. WHAT MOTIVATES YOUR CHILD?
Annisha Jeffries, manager of the youth services department at Cleveland Public Library agrees that children can build effective study habits through practice and consistency. “A set routine can help students build effective study habits; for example, setting aside an allotted time each day to do homework or study with breaks in between,” Jeffries says “I think all test-taking strategies can be beneficial depending on the type of learner. Everyone learns and reacts differently to tests, so what doesn’t work well for one person may work well for someone else.” For example, some students are more visual learners and do better with hands-on experience while others do well with written examples. Some may find tools such as flashcards helpful while others may do better with mnemonics such as acronyms or poems or fun songs, she says. When it comes to test taking for your kids, she offers these tips: Read each question carefully; if it is a timed test with multiple questions, complete all the questions first and then go back and double check your work and if you are struggling to answer a question, skip it and go on to the next question so you are not
wasting time on a question you don’t know the answer to. If there is time at the end, you can go back and try to answer the ones you weren’t sure of. FIND A LEARNING SPACE AT HOME
Jeffries says another way parents can support their child’s learning at home is by creating a space that is dedicated to learning, “For example, a space that has a desk and chair where students could comfortably do their work,” she says.” Sometimes adding extra colorful pieces of furniture or alternative seating such as bean bag chairs may make their learning space feel more inviting and less stress inducing. It may help to remove distractions from this learning zone such as phones and tablets unless they are actively being used in an educational manner or the students are taking a break. This space could also be a family learning zone; for example, a space where family members read together or work on math skills together. By learning and working together, education becomes a family affair, as opposed to a solitary event which can be uninviting to some.” Also, parents will often receive communication from a child’s teachers. They can also take the initiative to find out what a student is learning about. Another push is when a teacher assigns homework, parents can encourage their children to do the homework. “Habits don’t get created overnight; with a consistent emphasis of schooling outside of the classroom, even students who aren’t motivated will find it easier and easier to stay caught up in school and perform better on assessments,” Cira says. “Once students feel pride in their grades and feel stress relief, because they are not missing assignments, they tend to continue with those good habits and their grades and confidence will improve.”
Jeffries says there are several hands-on things students can do to improve their studies. Here are a few examples: ✔ Be as organized as possible can help. If a student has many classes with
different assignments or projects, it may be hard to keep track of homework.
✔ Have them use a planner or even write down lists of assignments and due
dates for classes. This can help a student keep on track, because they can see when something is due and how long they have to get it done.
✔ Sometimes making daily goals can help students stay on track if they have a long-term project they are working on; for example, a student can try and work 20 to 30 minutes a day on a project that takes a few weeks to complete instead of trying to get it all done in a day or two.
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CLEVELAND TRANSFORMATION ALLIANCE
HAWKEN
A better way to find quality public school options in Cleveland. Cleveland Transformation Alliance (CTA) is a reliable and trusted community partner providing families with tools and resources to help them make informed school choice decisions. Work with a CTA navigator today to create a personalized plan and find the best fit school for your family. mycleschool.org
Hawken School offers two high school options: the Upper School in Gates Mills and the Mastery School of Hawken in University Circle. The Upper School guides students to embrace the intrinsic value of learning by providing opportunities for student inquiry, analysis, agency, experimentation, and leadership. The Mastery School immerses students in real-world problem solving with a focus on personalized, project-based learning and an assessment model that leads students to learn deeply and persist to mastery. hawken.edu
FLEX HIGH SCHOOL
LAUREL SCHOOL
Are you looking for a high school that offers the FLEXibility you need? FLEX High School provides a path to graduation that is flexible, personal, unique, and completely free. They focus on providing a safe educational environment, so that you may focus on your goal of obtaining a high school diploma. The students love the quiet, one-on-one attention they receive from their teacher mentors. Enroll anytime 216-310-9750, flexhigh.org
Laurel School is a nationally recognized independent day school for girls, Kindergarten-Grade 12, with a co-ed Early Childhood School. Laurel has two campuses, the 11-acre Lyman Campus is in Shaker Heights and the 150-acre Butler Campus is in Russell Township. The Butler Campus is home to competitive athletics, full-time outdoor learning, and the new Environmental Justice Semester for 10th and 11th Grade girls launching in Fall 2023! Learn more about Laurel at LaurelSchool.org.
Magnificat High School
Magnificat High School is a girls' Catholic, college-preparatory high school that prepares young women to learn, lead, and serve in the spirit of Mary’s Magnificat. Students with diverse backgrounds and aspirations are given the tools to reach their academic goals as well as the flexibility to discover new interests and talents. Hands-on learning, service, faith formation, and leadership opportunities enrich the educational experience, along with engaging advanced electives, myriad clubs, and competitive athletics. magnificaths.org
VILLA ANGELAST. JOSEPH HIGH SCHOOL
When you become a student at Villa Angela-St. Joseph High School, you become a member of a family where everyone knows you. It is a place where you can grow in your faith, be challenged academically, follow your passions, and create high school memories and friendships that will last a lifetime. Come feel the family atmosphere for yourself by visiting VASJ. Schedule a tour or set up a shadow day at vasj.com/admissions.
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Fill Your Teen’s Bookshelf While your teens might be streaming more than reading, it’s a good opportunity to recommend books to them as they are at a new level of learning. From fiction, nonfiction to helping them manage teen life, here are some books (or introduce them to audio versions) to try.
If He Had Been with Me
The Barren Grounds
Autumn and Finn used to be inseparable. But then something changed. Or they changed. Now, they do their best to ignore each other. Autumn has her boyfriend Jamie, and her close-knit group of friends. And Finn has become that boy at school, the one everyone wants to be around. But come August, things will change forever. And as time passes, Autumn will be forced to confront how else life might have been different if they had never parted ways.
Indigenous foster kids Morgan and Eli feel lost and isolated in their new home. But when Eli’s drawings open a portal to another world populated by talking animals, Morgan and Eli finally feel at home. They need the world of Misewa. And as it turns out, Misewa needs them too.
By Laura Nowlin
Trust the Grind: How World-Class Athletes Got To The Top By Jeremy Bhandari
Interviews with top athletes in sports today. Trust the Grind reveals how these men and women reached the height of their profession. Each chapter tells a different story, as each superstar shares the habit that helped them accomplish their goals and reach the pinnacle of their profession.
Game Changer By Neal Shusterman
All it takes is one hit on the football field, and suddenly Ash’s life doesn’t look quite the way he remembers it. Impossible though it seems, he’s been hit into another dimension—and keeps on bouncing through worlds that are almost-but-not-really his own. The changes start small, but they quickly spiral out of control as Ash slides into universes where he has everything he’s ever wanted, universes where society is stuck in the past…universes where he finds himself looking at life through entirely different eyes.
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By David A. Robertson
This Was Never About Basketball By Craig Leener
In this coming-of-age novel, seventeen-year-old high school basketball star Ezekiel “Zeke” Archer has it all: a sweet jump shot, a full-ride scholarship to a Midwestern basketball powerhouse, and the brightest future. But when Zeke’s temper gets the better of him in the city championship, he is expelled from school, has to forfeit his scholarship, and is left to ponder his once-hopeful future. With the help of a young autistic classmate Zeke befriends, he learns that the mysterious seventh dimension, which brought basketball to Earth more than a century ago, has decided to take the game away for good.
Limitless Confidence For Teens: Build Unshakeable Self Confidence, Claim Happiness, and Become Your Best Self By Ava Montgomery
Certified life coach Ava Montgomery provides an insightful guide rooted in her 15 years experience working with individuals to achieve long-lasting change through clarifying their goals and both identifying and overcoming obstacles along the way. With Limitless Confidence, Ava invites teens on a journey of building self-confidence, achieving success, and becoming their best self.
Soul Surfer: What About Will A True Story of Faith, Family, and By Ellen Hopkins Twelve-year-old Trace Reynolds has always looked up to his brother, Fighting to Get Back on the Board mostly because Will, who’s five years older, has never looked down By Bethany Hamilton and Rick Bundschu
Soul Surfer is an account of Bethany’s life as a young surfer, her recovery after a shark attack, the adjustments she’s made to her unique surfing style and a bid for a top showing in the World Surfing Championships. It is a story of girl power and spiritual grit that shows the body is no more essential to surfing—perhaps even less so—than the soul.
on him. When Will was knocked out cold during a football game, resulting in a brain injury —everything changed. Trace begins to cover for Will who, struggling with addiction to pain medication, becomes someone Trace doesn’t recognize. But when the brother he loves so much becomes more and more withdrawn, and escalates to stealing money and ditching school, Trace realizes some secrets cannot be kept if we ever hope to heal.
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