4-1-11

UNI Proud hosts Drag Ball 3

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Northern Iowan

the university of northern iowa’s student-produced newspaper since 1892

April 1, 2011

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Volume 107, Issue 46

FRIDAY

New game plan for spring commencement KARI BRAUMANN

Cedar Falls, Iowa

ALAN WILKINS Staff Writer

In a matter of weeks, University of Northern Iowa registrar Phil Patton witnessed the spring 2011 commencement ceremony go from three smaller ceremonies to one large ceremony, at which first lady Michelle Obama will speak.

“Everything’s moved very fast from our side in the last week, 10 days,” Patton commented.

Last Friday, the university announced that the first lady would address all the graduates in a consolidated ceremony on Saturday, May 7 at 11 a.m. The ceremony has been moved to the UNI-Dome rather than the McLeod Center to accommodate a larger number of attendees. The logistics of the event have changed.

“We’re asking (students) to show up about 9 a.m. We’ll have students ... line up in the McLeod,” Patton said. “The general public, of course, will be coming into the Dome ... (they should) plan on arriving at

OLIVER DOULIERY/ABACA PRESS/MCT

First lady Michelle Obama gives a thumbs-up during the kick off of the 14th Annual Read Across America Day to celebrate Dr. Seuss’ 107th birthday, Wednesday, March 2, 2011, at the Library of Congress in See COMMENCEMENT, page 2 Washington, D.C.

UNI CARE now accepting nominations Staff Writer

Nominations for the second annual University of Northern Iowa Creating a Responsible Environment (CARE) awards, which the Sustainability Council give to faculty, staff, students, organizations, programs or departments for demonstrating outstanding commitment to sustainability, are due Friday, April 8.

“We want to make sure that the people doing these things have a chance to be publicly recognized,” university sustainability coordinator Eric O’Brien said. “A lot of times a change occurs and everyone thinks it’s great, but they don’t know who did it. It recognizes the fact that we have some very great leaders and outstanding programs.”

northern-iowan.org

Nathanson discusses current debates on market capitalism

Editorial Staff

ALLIE KOOLBECK

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The awards will be presented at the Sustainability Forum on Thursday, April 21. President Ben Allen and Executive Provost Viola Gibson will speak at the forum.

Emma Hashman, current Vice President of the Northern Iowa Student Government, and NISG president-elect Spencer Walrath will speak about UNI’s accomplishments in the area of sustainability in the last year.

The second half of the event will include viewing the results of an assessment that shows how UNI currently rates as a campus on a number of sustainability issues. Finally, the audience will be asked to give feedback about campus sustainability.

“I would strongly suggest See UNI CARE, page 2

Stephen Nathanson visited the University of Northern Iowa on Monday to give two presentations titled “Is Obama a Socialist?”and “Can Terrorism Ever be Morally Justified?”

The talks were hosted by the Philosophy Students Club, UNI Freethinkers and Inquirers and UNI Young Americans for Liberty.

Nathanson, a professor of philosophy at the Northeastern University in Boston, Mass., specializes in ethics, political philosophy, war and peace, economic justice and epistemology.

He is the author of multiple books and his most recent book, published last year, is titled “Terrorism and the Ethics of War.” In his first lecture,

Nathanson said many of Obama’s political enemies and critics have been calling him a socialist since the beginning of his campaign for presidency in 2008. Stephen Colbert even had Brian Moore, the socialist candidate for president in 2008, on his show to comment on the issue.

So why does it matter if Obama is a socialist? Politicians such as Newt Gringrich and Rush Limbaugh make the argument that because Obama is allegedly a socialist and because socialism is supposedly bad, the policies Obama supports are all bad policies.

In examining this article, Nathanson provided the criteria necessary for pure state socialism: the public must collectively own the means of all See NATHANSON, page 2

I Spy at UNI

ANNA SCHRECK/Northern Iowan Do you know where this picture was taken? If so, e-mail us at northern-iowan@uni.edu with your answer. The winner’s name and the picture’s location will be featured in the next edition of the Northern Iowan. The previous picture was located on the sidewalk near the benches between Rod Library and the Innovative Teaching and Technology Center.

Register for fall classes through the new SIS. The new student information system (SIS) is currently online.

UNI has a new computer system that allows students to register for classes, receive financial aid awards and get grade reports, degree audits and u-bills. The new system looks different, and is easy to use.

One-on-One Assistance (computers on-site): • Gilchrist Hall: April 5-22, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

• Maucker Union: Tuesday, April 5; Thursday, April 7; Tuesday, April 12; and Monday, April 18 – 10 a.m.

Assistance is available if you need it. Use the to 2 p.m.

Online assistance: online assistance anytime or work with a Visit MyUNIverse > Student Center tab > Help link live human being.

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NEWS

NATHANSON continued from page 1

production, decisions about production and distribution are made by governmental institutions, and each individual should only take what they need from the government.

According to this definition of socialism, Nathanson declared that Obama is not a socialist. Instead of having the government take complete control over the auto industry and the banks when they were going bankrupt, Obama temporarily funded and bailed out these privately owned businesses. Also, with the new health care legislation, Obama did not want everyone to switch to a government health care plan if they already had good insurance.

The question of whether socialism is bad came up in the lecture.

“Within our political culture, we don’t find many socialists,” Nathanson said.

He gave many reasons in the lecture why socialism is not as good as capitalism. Capitalism is more pro-

COMMENCEMENT continued from page 1

8 a.m. or anytime thereafter – the earlier the better, of course, for clearing lines.”

There will be an increased level of security for the event, but the university has not yet received all the details from the Secret Service. At this time, Patton says attendees will go through magnetometers such as those at an airport and large carry-in items such as backpacks or bulky camera cases will likely not be

ductive, socialist systems have too much power and threaten personal liberty, and socialism fails to reward people for greater effort. However, Nathanson said that does not mean capitalism is good either.

Nathanson gave the criteria for a pure free market capitalist society. This society must have private ownership as a means of production, corporations must be able to buy and sell goods as they see fit, and to get anything in this society, an individual must be able to pay for it. This type of society promotes an anarchic system where a person only has power in relation to how much money or means of production that person possesses.

The central question that these two models of distributing goods present is, “Should the market be the distribution mechanism for all goods or should governments distribute some goods to people independently of their ability to pay?”

Nathanson pointed out that the American system of government, although considered capitalist, has socialized and marketized sectors

allowed.

“If people have any history of going through security with the Dalai Lama when he was here, it’ll be fairly similar to that, although it’ll probably be just a little bit more intense,” Patton said.

The ceremony will increase in length. Spring commencement ceremonies are typically about an hour and 45 minutes to two hours long. The registrar’s office estimates that the combined ceremony will be approximately two and a half hours long. For the most part,

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which handle the production and distribution of goods and services.

Examples of socialized sectors in American society are police protection and general education.

The socialization of these sectors is generally unquestioned: the average American believes that a person has a right to a general education and police protection. But then in the lecture the question came up, “Are there other sectors that should or would be unquestioned?” Should health care be as much of a right as police protection or general education?

Cary Wolbers, a junior political science major, had his own opinion on this topic.

“The need for health care is an unavoidable part of human life,” he said. “To deprive individuals from access to health care is immoral.”

After the presentation, Nathanson expressed his view that a welfarebased capitalist system was the best for America.

“I guess I take seriously the idea that it’s part of the duty of government to try and make its citizens

the ceremony itself will not change significantly.

“The students’ names will still be read,” Patton said.

“The script, or the program for the scenario will basically run pretty much the same as it has in the past, with the insertion of (the first lady’s) speech.”

The processional will begin around 11 a.m., and graduating students will be seated in the UNI-Dome.

They will be followed by faculty and members of the Class of 1961 (the 50-year

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decently off,” he said. “Just providing people with police protection and education isn’t adequate. In our country we have tremendous disparities involved in income. The upper 5 percent have an extraordinary amount of resources, more than lots of other people. The bottom 60 percent of our country are struggling financially, and that’s a lot of people. Why should all the wealth and the riches and resources of the country gravitate up to a small minority?”

Later that evening, Nathanson also gave a presentation questioning whether terrorism can ever be morally justified, examining the phrase “one men’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.”

In closing, Nathanson expressed his goals.

“I hope that the people will be able to think about these concepts and ideas in a little bit different way and a little bit better,” he said. “As a person, I care where people end up. As a philosopher, I feel my main job is to help people think better and think more critically about important issues.”

class). The last to enter will be the president’s party, which will include Obama.

After a general welcome and recognition of students graduating with honors, there will be a student speech followed by Obama’s address.

“At that point, when she’s done, she will exit for security purposes,” Patton noted.

The ceremony will conclude with the awarding of degrees, which Patton says is the longest component. There will be a reception afterward, but a location has not yet been selected.

The first lady is appearing at commencement as a result of the efforts of Ann Geneva, mother of senior accounting and financial management major Adam Geneva, who is graduating this semester.

Ann Geneva wrote a letter to the White House last summer inviting President Obama to speak at UNI’s commencement. She received notice this spring that while the president would not be available, the first lady would come to UNI. “I think that she is a wonderful speaker, a great role model for many and I think she will inspire the graduates as they start a new chapter in their lives with their careers,” Geneva said. “It’s an honor that she’s coming and I think it’ll be an exciting day for all.”

For more information, go to www.uni.edu/commencement, e-mail registrar@uni. edu or call the Office of the Registrar at 319-273-2241.

UNI CARE continued from page 1

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L011 Maucker Union Cedar Falls, IA 50614 www.northern-iowan.org Friday, January 14, 2011 Volume 107, Issue 28

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NORTHERN IOWAN

that people who are interested in sustainability attend the forum,” O’Brien said.

The CARE awards were created by the Energy Conservation Committee and the University Sustainability Council, which were appointed by President Allen in 2007 and 2008. “(These groups) work to promote sustainable and responsible management of our campus and resources,” O’Brien said.

Awards will be given to individuals, programs, organizations and departments committed to sustainability. For more information on the award criteria or to make a nomination, go to www.uni.edu/sustainability.

CAITIE PETERSON

The Northern Iowan is published semiweekly on Tuesday and Friday during the academic year; weekly on Friday during the summer session, except for holidays and examination periods, by the University of Northern Iowa, L011 Maucker Union, Cedar Falls, IA 50614-0166 under the auspices of the Board of Student Publications.

Advertising errors that are the fault of the Northern Iowan will be corrected at no cost to the advertiser only if the Northern Iowan office is notified within seven days of the original publication. Publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertisement at any time.

The Northern Iowan is funded in part with student activity fees.

Editorial Assistants at the Northern Iowan are a team of volunteers who assist the Copy Editor in reviewing content.

A copy of the Northern Iowan grievance procedure is available at the Northern Iowan office, located at L011 Maucker Union.

All material is copyright © 2010 by the Northern Iowan and may not be used without permission.

Features The University

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UNI Proud Drag Ball fills Maucker Union

By ELIZABETH COLLINS Staff Writer

“Where is that TC at? I like a bear in a panther suit,” said Ruby James Knight, Kings and Queens Tap Show co-director, as he kicked off the University of Northern Iowa Proud’s third annual Drag Ball Tuesday.

It was standing room only in Maucker Union as all seats were filled and all eyes on stage, as UNI students performed alongside seasoned performers Knight and Courtney Michaels. The show, which was organized

by UNI Proud and hosted by Kings and Queens Tap, was an effort to promote safe sex and to raise money for local non-profit group Community AIDS Assistance Project.

Audience members were encouraged to donate money during the show. All proceeds went to CAAP, which supports community members in northeast Iowa who are affected by AIDS and is also dedicated to AIDS prevention education. “(The drag ball) was about having a chance to put on a show for a large audience and remind everyone to have safe sex,” said Chelbi Long, a sophomore environmental science major, who performed as Mistress Long to Rihanna’s “S&M.” “It was also a perfect opportunity to raise money for charity. We like to have fun with purpose.”

The crowd went wild as Michaels strutted down the aisle to “I Love Rock n’ Roll,” sporting an open leather jacket, torn jeans and handcuffs.

“As a student performer it was a little intimidating

ANNA SCHRECK/Northern Iowan

(Top) UNI students, members of UNI Proud and professional drag queen performers gather behind Courtney Michaels, a professional performer, during the UNI Proud Drag Ball Tuesday in Maucker Union. (Left) Ruby James Knight, codirector of King and Queens Tap Show, sings during the show. (Right) Cordelia Knight gets sultry during her performance.

because they are stars! As a fan it was an incredible experience. I’m a huge fan,” Long

said.

Student performances were also well received. Student

Camerra Alexis Townsend got a standing ovation for per-

forming to Nicki Minaj’s “Did it on ‘em.” Ellie Hail, president of UNI Proud, and four other members gave an exciting, nostalgic performance of the song “Everybody” by the Backstreet Boys.

“This is UNI Proud’s way of giving their fellow students at the university their first foray into all things LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer),” Hail said.

The drag ball was the second event of Pride Week, which began Monday and continues through Friday.

This year’s Pride Week is designated “Beyond the Binary” and is focused on exploring the binary gender relationship of male and female and ways to move beyond that.

The week is about creating an atmosphere of inclusiveness and equality among all people.

Rachel Israel, a senior TESOL and French teaching major, heard about the event through her friends.

“This was my first time going to a drag show of any kind,” she said. “I thought it was really neat to see all those people in their element and being able to let go and be themselves in front of an audience.”

Charles Saini, a graduate student in film and literature, said, “I liked all the attitude. It was neat to see so much diversity and unity. Shows like this allow people to celebrate who they are and express themselves.”

For more information about UNI Proud please visit www.uni.edu/studentorgs/ proud/ or email proud@uni. edu.

Pulitzer prize-winning author shares his work with UNI

By ARIEL HAWKINS Staff Writer

It isn’t every day that you hear a poem read about a urine sample, but those who listened to Ted Kooser Monday heard just that.

Kooser, a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, read his works to University of Northern Iowa students and staff in the Commons Ballroom. Upon reading his poems, he was interviewed by Jeremy Schraffenberger, a UNI assistant professor of English language and literature.

Schraffenberger noted when he introduced Kooser that his own mother-in-law was in the audience, and the last time she had attended a poetry

reading, it was from Robert Frost.

“So she has high expectations of you,” Schraffenberger joked.

Schraffenberger also discussed Kooser’s ability to “attend the wonders of the everyday world,” and that Kooser’s works were like “exquisite clocks — so finely wrought, but always able to tell the time.”

Kooser said that he was honored to speak at UNI. Throughout the evening, he explained his reasoning for writing each poem before reading it to the audience. His use of gentle humor within the explanations as well as the poems themselves often had the crowd laughing at Kooser’s personality.

Kooser’s poetry discusses everyday things and real life stories. For

example, he shared poems about an old man splitting his meal order with his wife, his wife washing her hands, and a urine sample. Before reading the urine sample poem, Kooser stated: “I love reading this poem because it makes the audience grow more and more uncomfortable as I read it... but it’s something we have all had to go through,” he said.

The humor and slight discomfort of the poem made the audience seem to appreciate Kooser that much more. Many present — though they squirmed in their seats slightly — couldn’t help but smile or chuckle at the poem.

“I loved his style of writing,” said Bryan Klouda, who said he was a pro-

spective UNI student. “I also felt like he was very easygoing, which helped me relate to his poetry.”

Kooser also shared poems about his family.

“I think we should all write about our families,” said Kooser, explaining that it helps keep them alive long after they have passed.

After Kooser read approximately 20 poems to the audience, Schraffenberger interviewed the poet.

Kooser shared that he was 20 when he left Iowa, but he feels like he writes more about Iowa than about his current homestead in Nebraska.

Kooser said he is inspired by lookSee PULITZER POET, page 4

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FEATURES

Courtney Martin inspires students to save the world Author tells the story of eight young activists

By TEHRENE FIRMAN Staff Writer

Save the world. For some, they’re simply words, but for Courtney E. Martin, they sum up her mission in life.

On March 28, UNI students were able to get a taste of Martin’s mission when she spoke in Lang Hall about her new book, “Do It Anyway: The New Generation of Activists.”

“I graduated from college in 2002, and I went out into the world and was ready to change it,” Martin said. “I felt like I had been given this privilege of a great education, and I had all of these skills and gifts, and I was quickly disillusioned because

it turned out that making the world a better place is a very complex project.”

Martin, 31, wanted to write her book for that same purpose — for the people that are in the same place that she was. In her book, Martin profiles eight young people, all of whom are striving to change the world through all varieties of social justice work.

The young people range from Raul Diaz, a prison re-entry social worker at Homeboy Industries, to Nia Martin-Robinson, an AfricanAmerican environmental justice activist.

Although the eight people are all involved in very different forms of activism, they all have one mission in mind

— making a difference in the world. Each activist taught Martin an important lesson along the way. Through her book, she was able to share those lessons and their journeys, inspiring many people around the world to create change themselves.

When she’s not writing bestsellers, Martin keeps busy as a freelance journalist and editor at Feministing.com. Her work has also appeared in the New York Times, Newsweek, Glamour and numerous other publications.

If she looks familiar, you may have seen her on “Good Morning America,” the “TODAY Show” or “The O’Reilly Factor,” just to name a few of her appearances.

In addition, Martin is active in social justice organizations throughout the nation, such as the Ms. Foundation for Women and the Women’s Funding Network.

Martin is currently working on a book about the personal side of Sept. 11, in conjunction with Project Rebirth and Dr. Robin Stern.

spaces going fast Y FOR FALL 2011 • APPLY TODA

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Is there someone you LikeALittle?

By BLAKE FINDLEY Staff Writer

University of Northern Iowa students are now able to demonstrate potential feelings and flirt with other students anonymously through the website LikeALittle.com.

According to the website, LikeALittle is “intended to be a positive, fun, comfortable and safe environment for students to anonymously flirt and chat with the folks around them.”

Ellen Schulz, a sophomore communicative disorders major, is familiar with the site.

“It is a website where people can describe someone who catches their eye,” she said.

“They describe where (the interest was) on campus, their hair and eye color, what they were wearing, and what they like about them.”

“From what I have seen, I think that (LikeALittle) allows people to experience catharsis and to pursue someone else they would not usually have the confidence to pursue,” said Austin Foster, a junior biology major.

Morgan Johnson, a junior art major, is a student moderator for the site.

“When I saw it on Facebook back in early February, I decided to check it out and was oddly fascinated,” she said. “It is even more interesting that so many people are fascinated by the site. It is required for students to use their official school e-mail address to ensure they actually attend UNI.” “(LikeALittle) is 100 percent anonymous,” she continued.

“Moderators delete posts with names or other information that LikeALittle does not allow.”

Johnson went on to explain some of the faults of

LikeALittle.

“Though there (are) a good amount of genuine posts, there is also a fair share of fake ones,” she said. “People need to be conscious that people can and do pretend to be someone they’re not. It is easy to feign an identity or lack thereof.”

“

...I think that (LikeALittle) allows people to experience catharsis and to pursue someone else they would not usually have the confidence to pursue.

Austin Foster junior biology major

A student who wished to remain anonymous said that LikeALittle tended to disallow anything disparaging, grotesquely vague or ultraspecific.

“The administrators seem to have the most appreciation for comments that are clear enough that some people would figure out, but not transparent enough that everyone would figure it out,” the student said.

Ashley Quint, a sophomore family services major, summed up her opinion upon learning of LikeALittle in one word.

“Weird,” Quint said.

“I guess it’s kind of cute, because it isn’t anything that’s going to go anywhere,” said Kyle Utke, a freshman deciding major.

Students interested in the website can visit www.likealittle.com and sign up using their UNI e-mail address.

What about you?

Have you had interesting experiences with LikeALittle? Do you have a strong opinion about it? Share your story and make your voice heard by commenting on our website: www.northern-iowan.org

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PULITZER POET continued from page 3

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ing within.

“I realized my poetry didn’t have to have any special fireworks… (Poems) can be about ordinary things. I was trying to write like T.S. Eliot, and I couldn’t do that.

I wouldn’t even try now,” he said.

Kooser also had advice for

future writers. He emphasized strongly that writers should “avoid being fashionable” and to write about what’s important to them. He also stressed the importance of reading.

“I told my students to read 100 poems for every one they write,” Kooser said.

To read or purchase some of Kooser’s works, visit his website at http://www.tedkooser.net/.

BLACK FRIDAY: Avoid the plague p iii

the French Fry The University

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NOTE: The French Fry is an exercise in satire. The following articles and images are of a humorous nature and do not reflect actual events on campus or the thoughts, beliefs and actions of the individuals mentioned. Any resemblance to reality is completely unintended and consequentially awesome.

NISE

Student Body Emperor Anderson issues order to dissolve senate, eliminate senators GEORG BLUEKISS

Staff Writer

During Wednesday’s senate meeting, recently selfappointed Emperor of the Student Body Joel Anderson issued Executive Order 66, which dissolved the Northern Iowa Student Government and established the Northern Iowa Student Empire.

The order also placed the UNI ROTC under Student Empire control. Senator Emeritus and newly appointed Lord Jared “Vader” Parker led the ROTC, nicknamed “Blitz Troopers,” in a fatal assault on the senators.

Some senators began to suspect something was odd when Anderson arrived at the senate meeting wearing a thick black cloak.

“What’s up with your eyes, Joel?” Senator Troy Olson asked the emperor minutes before a lightsaber seared through his vital organs.

After the senate voted to approve the meeting’s agenda, then-President Anderson rose

to provide his weekly report, at which time he presented the executive order to the senate.

Ryan Alfred, chair of the Governmental and Legislative Affairs Committee, asked the senate to overturn the order.

“It’s a trap!” he said.

“Lord Parker,” Anderson said into his smartphone as the senate debated, “commence Executive Order 66.”

“

It’s a trap!

Ryan Alfred Senator Emeritus

Lord Parker then led the ROTC in an armed assault on the senate. Senators’ dying cries of “Ahh!!!”, “You were the chosen one!” and “point of order!” could be heard throughout the University Room as Parker’s lightsaber and the blitz troopers’ blasters mercilessly massacred the former legislators.

While most senators

were unprepared for the surprise strike, Ryan Alfred and Speaker of the Senate Kevin Shannon each revealed their own lightsabers and dueled against Lord Parker and Emperor Anderson, respectively. As more senators fell to imperial forces, however, Alfred and Shannon gave up the fight and escaped with President-Elect Spencer Walrath and Vice PresidentElect Ian Goldsmith. The four are rumored to be building a rebellion against Anderson and Parker’s empire.

“I’m disappointed that Senator Parker would go over to the dark side like that. I thought he would bring balance to the senate, not destroy it,” Alfred said after his escape.

“I suppose I should have seen that coming after he started wearing that black helmet and cape to basketball games and senate meetings and wheezing all the time. I thought he had a cold.”

“Sad, these events are,” Shannon said during an interview in his new dwelling place

GEORG BLUEKISS/the French Fry

The Schindler Education Center looms over Wartburg College before Emperor Anderson begins his assault.

Wartburg is expected to be the first step in Anderson’s campaign to take over the galaxy.

GEORG BLUEKISS/the French Fry

Student Body Emperor Joel Anderson shortly after eliminating the senators and establishing the Northern Iowa Student Empire.

in the marshy area near the UNI Dome. “Parliamentary order, we must restore.”

Some members of student government were more sympathetic to the change.

“Well, it’s not exactly a monarchy as I laid out in my 95-ish theses, but I like to see the student leaders take bold steps, and I’m interested to see the direction this empire will go in,” said Senator Emeritus Gage Rewerts.

Following the elimination of the senators, Emperor Anderson took to the bridge of the Schindler Education Center, a massive space battleship that is docked below ground level. His troopers at the controls, Anderson took the SEC, which has been deemed a “star destroyer” class battleship, to the sky, launching a strike on nearby Wartburg College, the first point from which he will presumably spread the Northern Iowa Student Empire.

“I won’t stop until the entire galaxy is under my command,” Anderson said to incarcerated reporters yesterday. “I might stay away from

Waterloo, though. Dictators generally have pretty bad luck there.”

POLICY CHANGES The Northern Iowa Student Empire recently made the following changes to university policy: In addition to tuition, all students must pay a tribute to the Student Body Emperor each semester. Acceptable tributes include money, Diet Pepsi and the heads of the members of the Rebel Alliance.

Any student who voices negative comments about the Empire will be executed. Also, chalking on vertical surfaces is forbidden.

Students now need to change their CatID password only every 120 days instead of every 90.

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NOTE: The French Fry is an exercise in satire. The following articles and images are of a humorous nature and do not reflect actual events on campus or the thoughts, beliefs and actions of the individuals mentioned. Any resemblance to reality is completely unintended and consequentially awesome.

UNI search committee looking for new, completely inoffensive commencement speaker SADIE WORD Staff Writer

After the uproar following last week’s announcement that first lady Michelle Obama would speak at their spring 2011 commencement ceremony, the University of Northern Iowa has assembled a search committee to find a more popular choice.

“Specifically, we’re looking to match all of the needs and desires of current and former students, faculty, staff, donors, parents, members of the Cedar Valley community and the general public,” said Sarah Bellum, a neurology professor and member of the committee.

Soon after the University of Northern Iowa Facebook page featured a status update last Friday revealing the change in the commencement program, “chaos ensued,” according to Bellum.

“We saw the comment thread and were sobered by the topics discussed there,” Bellum said. “One of the committee’s first tasks will be to take each of those comments and go through them, line by line, to fully address the concerns each commenter had.

“Some people were upset by the potential length of the ceremony. Others were worried about the topics the first lady would address. One person was really anxious about whether Mrs. Obama would advise the crowd to eat more fruits and vegetables, and didn’t want his personal freedoms impacted in that way,”

Bellum continued.

In addition to selecting a new speaker, the committee will reexamine the university’s plans for the ceremony and develop ways to implement any changes that may need to be made to the ceremony.

“

A member of the faculty was concerned that she would need to bring a lunch with her under her robes due to the length of the ceremony. We’re still ironing out the details, but you can find more information about snack portability ar our website.

Shirley Knott head of search committee

“We’re devising several solutions,” said Shirley Knott, a professor of philosophy and head of the committee. “A member of the faculty was concerned that she would need to bring a lunch with her under her robes due to the length of the ceremony.

We’re still ironing out details such as those, but you can find more information on snack portability at our website.”

Knott said updates to that end would be available at www. uni.edu/commencement/ fannypacks.

At press time, several

alternative keynote speakers were being considered by the committee. The committee is leaning toward a three-minute video clip of Mister Rogers from 1994, after debating for a time on bringing in “Morgan Freeman, but in a voiceover,” Knott mentioned.

While the committee seemed to be in consensus over Rogers as a replacement speaker, some students had concerns about his selection.

“I’d rather not have Mister Rogers as the new speaker,” said Krista Bread, a graduating senior finance major. “He always talked about neighbors and wanting to be someone’s neighbor... to me, that shifts focus away from one’s home and the people actually in the home, you know, the family.”

Senior communication major Tad Pohl hopes the committee is able to conclude its search soon.

“I’m really getting down to the wire as far as creating a Facebook event for my relatives and friends at other schools,” he said. “I wanted to get this info out earlier so people who don’t log in very often won’t have their ability to attend jeopardized by this.

“I’m really glad (the committee) is looking for, like, the best person to do this,” Pohl continued. “I think that at the end of four years of education, the last thing anyone wants is to have a viewpoint they don’t agree with all in their face. I mean, is that what UNI is about?”

news in brief Student who's too good for Campaniling injured by falling brick Joseph Ralston, a senior management information systems major who is too good for lame traditions, was hospitalized yesterday after a falling brick hit him square in the face.

Ralston, who hasn’t gone Campaniling during his four years at UNI and probably only brushes his teeth once a day, is expected to recover within the next few weeks.

“Serves him right,” said Ben McCarty, president of Connecting Alumni to Students.

“We told him that bricks fall on the heads of students who don’t go Campaniling while at UNI, but some people just feel they’re above traditional superstition.

“What an egghead,” he added.

Guy next door is violating quiet hours The guy in the room next to you is violating Campbell Hall policy by making noise after midnight.

“It’s 2 a.m. and I’ve got a class at 8! Who does this guy think he is?” you think to yourself instead of getting up to ask your neighbor to be quiet or calling the Resident Assistant on call about the flagrant quiet hours violation. “Doesn’t he know how thin these walls are?”

You’re starting to get fed up after lying in bed for 15 whole minutes as you listen to your neighbor’s TV trying to determine what show would urge someone to torment the people around him. It sounds like “Gilmore Girls.”

“I wonder what episode it is,” you think.

“I hope it’s not one with Doyle in it; he’s so conceited.”

infographic

With the month of April beginning today, here are some facts about the fourth month of the year.

• April 25 marks the second anniversary of the passing of your kidney stone. Congratulations!

• April comes from the Latin Aprilis, which means, “Why is it still raining?”

• Adolf Hitler was born on April 20, a day that is now celebrated by ironically burning copies of “Mein Kampf.”

• April 1 is commonly considered “April Fools Day” and is celebrated by pulling pranks on others. But we wouldn’t know anything about that.

• April is the fourth month of the year, or the fifth if you don’t know how to count.

• April is also the month when obnoxious boyfriends who forget to put the stool down EVERY TIME, come on, Jared, it’s not that hard to do! are born.

• April is also this person:

statshot

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NOTE: The French Fry is an exercise in satire. The following articles and images are of a humorous nature and do not reflect actual events on campus or the thoughts, beliefs and actions of the individuals mentioned. Any resemblance to reality is completely unintended and consequentially awesome.

Black plagues UNI campus SELLER DORE Staff Writer

An epidemic that’s been nicknamed the “Black Plague” has incapacitated more than half of the students, faculty and staff at the University of Northern Iowa, bringing campus operations to a screeching halt.

Though details are scarce at the time, authorities say that anyone can contract the plague, or R1B1, from viewing Rebecca Black’s music video “Friday.”

“It appears that the entire university is all coming down with the same disease,” said Daryl Smith. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It enters in your ear and latches onto your brain immediately, and it looks as if it might never let go.”

Symptoms of the plague include an uncontrollable desire to recite the days of the week, a nasally tone, strong urges to have “fun, fun, fun, fun” and a marked indecisiveness.

“The clinic is an absolute mess,” Smith said. “We’ve got thousands of patients lined up, and none of them will sit down in the reception area.

They just stand there, talking about whether they should ‘kick’ it in the front row or sit in the back row. It doesn’t matter which seat you take.

Just take one!”

According to Smith, some of the patients appear to be exhibiting a kind of delirium.

“They keep telling me they’ve ‘gotta’ have cereal or catch their bus,” Smith. “I’ve never seen a disease so

debilitating.”

The plague isn’t unique to UNI, either. The World Health Organization estimates that nearly half of the Western Hemisphere has been affected. While the WHO claims the disease isn’t fatal, others beg to differ.

Marge Johnson almost lost her 13-year-old son Richard in a car accident that authorities suspect was caused by the disease.

“One day Rich was doing just fine, and the next there were signs that something was wrong,” she told reporters. “He started to become obsessed with days of the week, and then he tried driving my car with his friends and ran straight into a semi.

He’s 13! Why would he be trying to drive my convertible?”

Student body vice president-elect Ian Goldsmith was incapacitated by the disease and so was unavailable for intelligible comment.

“Fun, fun, think about fun. You know what it is,” Goldsmith said.

“I got this, you got this, my friend is by my right,” he continued, gesturing toward nothing.

According to the WHO, the only form of treatment for the plague proven effective thus far is prevention. The organization recommends avoiding YouTube, social media and infected individuals to avoid contracting the disease.

“Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards,” their website continues. “I don’t want this weekend to end.”

news in brief

news in photos

Freshmen getting younger

CASSANDRA HAYNE/Northern Iowan

UNI student calls off relationship with online radio station

Cameron Bates, a sophomore textiles and apparel major at the University of Northern Iowa, called off his relationship with the online radio service Pandora yesterday, stating that the music recommendation service was “too needy.”

“Pandora’s never ok with just hanging out and listening to some music,” Bates said in an interview. “I swear, every hour she’d start nagging me to acknowledge her, just to get attention. I mean, ‘Are you still listening?’ How needy is that?”

“Seriously, I just want to listen to Dream Theater,” he added.

Bates left his previous relationship with Last.fm to pursue Pandora, impressed by

her music selection, understanding of his needs and user-friendly interface.

“Things were going ok with Last.fm, but when Pandora came along I was floored,” Bates said. “Her sleek design, her music collection, her ability to think of what I wanted to listen to – it was love at first sight.

“Too bad she had to turn out to be so whiny.”

Bates intends to give Last. fm another chance following his break up with Pandora.

“My friends don’t want me to run back to her after how things went before, but I’ve gotta say, Last has cleaned up quite a bit since we were together.

“I wonder if she’s got B-sides from ‘Kid A.’”

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UNI receives $100 million donation for creation of new outdoor football stadium RAD BEILERS

Sports Editor

University of Northern Iowa Director of Athletics Troy Dannen announced Friday morning that UNI will break ground on a new 30,000-seat state-of-the-art outdoor football stadium sometime in mid-May. The stadium is to be completed by the start of the fall 2012 football season.

Former UNI alumnus and lifelong Panther football fan Bob Harrison informed the university in February that he would like to donate $100 million to the athletic department for use toward a new outdoor football stadium.

“I haven’t missed a UNI home football game in the past 28 years and UNI football has always had a special place in my heart,” said Harrison, a 1961 UNI graduate. “I have always felt that saving money is important and at this point in my life I didn’t know what else to spend that money on, so I figured, why not give some of it to the athletic department.

“I have been a season ticket holder since before the (UNIDome) was constructed in the mid-1970s. However, I have always felt that football is meant to be played outdoors. That’s the main reason I decided to donate the $100 million,” said Harrison.

President Ben Allen, Dannen and Harrison have been meeting frequently over

Courtesy Photo

The new stadium, which hasn’t been named yet, will feature a state-of-the-art JumboTron, pictured above.

the past few months to discuss the possible options for an outdoor stadium since Harrison expressed his interest in donating back in midFebruary.

“We have looked over all the options and we feel that building a 30,000-seat stateof-the-art outdoor stadium is the most financially viable way to spend this generous donation,” said Dannen. “It was extremely hard to keep this information from the general public for so long.

“We hope that this new

state-of-the-art outdoor stadium will help with publicity as well as recruiting on the national stage. With the McLeod Center, UNI-Dome and now this new football stadium, I believe we are at the top of the Missouri Valley Conference in terms of facilities,” said Dannen.

President Allen addressed the issue on whether or not the UNI-Dome would still be used for athletic events in the future.

“We will still use the UNIDome for sporting events

such as track and field, the annual softball tournament, the high school football playoffs as well as UNI football practices and work outs,” said Allen. “The (UNI-Dome) will still be significant to the University of Northern Iowa and the athletic department; it just won’t host home football games following the upcoming 2011 football season.”

The new outdoor football stadium, which is yet to be named, will be located west of the McLeod Center where the intramural athletic fields

are currently located. The stadium will have approximately 30,000 seats, including a state-of-the-art press box with luxury suites, a stateof-the-art JumboTron replay screen, locker rooms and an equipment and storage shed.

The stadium will have two sets of grandstands on the east and west sides of the field, with each section having approximately 14,000 seatback-style chairs. The south endzone will have bleacherstyle seating that will hold approximately 2,000 spectators. This section will likely be used for student seating.

Beyond the north endzone will be the home and visitor locker rooms, alumni suite and the equipment storage shed. The state-of-the-art two-story press box will be located across the top of the west grandstands while the state-of-the-art jumbotron will be located atop the locker rooms and alumni suite in the north endzone.

“While we love competing in the Missouri Valley Conference, we also feel that updating the football facilities will open the door for us to be included in possible expansion talks with the power conferences such as the Big Ten and the Big XII,” said Dannen.

The project will cost an estimated $91 million. The remaining $9 million was used to fund this April Fools joke… Happy April Fools Day!

Student convinced UNI nameplate is a treasure map SADIE B. CAMPBELL Portrait

“It’s all right here!” UNI senior Ricky Eckstein’s effusive proclamations drew looks from students around the Union. Gripping his wrinkled acceptance letter to this university, he pointed with great fervor at the nameplate. Unbeknownst to most of the student body, Eckstein feels this familiar image of the Campanile as seen through a window is most definitely a treasure map.

Or so Eckstein will adamantly claim. Not only is he convinced that the image contains cryptic information detailing the whereabouts of a priceless treasure, but he has devoted an exorbitant portion of his time at UNI actively searching for this treasure. It all started with a curious feature of the nameplate.

“Once I arrived to campus, I came to realize that UNI’s trademark window is conspicuously absent from cam-

pus. It was nowhere to be found! Did the logo designer just make up this window? No, that would be a blatant violation of the logo designer code of ethics.

‘The Man’ is obviously hiding something from us,” Eckstein said.

After weeks of futile search, Eckstein found his glowing beacon in the darkness. Visible only at night when the interior is lit, the window is situated inside the Commons.

“I was bewildered by the lengths this university went to in order to prevent students from ever uncovering this treasure, even building an entire addition to conceal it,” marveled Eckstein.

With the existence of the window confirmed, Eckstein’s mission became clear. One must situate themselves at the exact spot that would grant them

the perspective seen in the nameplate.

“From there, it’s just a matter of ripping up the floorboards to reveal the hidden treasure,” he stated matter-offactly.

For Eckstein, his holy quest is a race against time.

He is convinced that the Northern Iowa Student Empire is also seeking the treasure to use for their own secular purposes. Despite the competition, progress is slow. Now a senior, his search has yet to bear fruit, despite the fact that he has known the exact location since 2008.

“Public safety won’t call me back,” he pouted.

The source of Eckstein’s delusional pastime is likely the lives of such glorified Americans as Robert

Langdon and Benjamin Franklin Gates of “The Da Vinci Code” and “National Treasure” fame respectively.

When asked if he identified as a treasure hunter, Eckstein quickly dismissed the label, saying, “I’m more like a treasure protector.” Not entirely satisfied with his initial attempt at a Nick Cage impersonation, Eckstein made incessant attempts to capture the actor’s famously deadbeat demeanor, incanting the same phrase over and over again.

Desperate for all sources of cash flow, legendary or otherwise, President Ben Allen dispatched a team to rip up the floorboards at precisely the location described by Eckstein.

Most surprisingly, an impressive collection of vintage Coca-Cola products, all more than a century old and in mint condition, was uncovered. The administration found Eckstein to be in violation of Pepsi policy and had him promptly arrested.

Opinion The University

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Pants: A dissertation

However, this is not to say that I am against underwear. Underwear has a lot ayomitch@uni.edu of functionality. It holds certain things Look down right now, this very in place and ensures that our unmeninstant. Are you wearing pants? I bet tionables stay unmentioned (with the most of you are. Who tells you to wear exception of plumbers and teen idol pants? The man! The man is holding train wrecks). That makes sense and you down! No, I’m just kidding, but serves a purpose. But all pants do is have you ever stopped and thought limit our potential. Seriously, have you about pants? Do it right now with ever walked around your dorm, apartme. Think about pants. After a brief ment or house with no pants on? Try it moment you realize something. What some time. Pretty liberating I must say. is the point of pants? Let’s take a little Not to mention a heavy dose of ventilation. ponder stroll.

Now one concern that may rise from In the humble opinion of this writer, this is that there are individuals that there is no point to wear pants except we probably do not want to see within a few specific instances. Granted, it’s out pants.

This is a big issue, but the nice to have your legs warm during bottom line is this: we are a country our harsh Iowa winters and to have that provides freedom of choice, and nice pants for more formal occasions if society were to adopt my simple (a pantless suit would look pretty silly philosophy, then they have the right but now that I think about it, I kind to not wear pants.

Pretty brave, really. of want to try it. More on that later).

We should applaud people comfortable Besides that, there really is no reason to enough with their body to enjoy the wear pants.

ANTHONY MITCHELL

pantsless revolution.

Now I’m certainly not condoning any sort of indecent doings in public. I just wanted to share my simple philosophy and encourage the thought that, yes, in fact, wearing pants all the time is kind of a drag. Who knows what this little thought could achieve?

We may be on the verge of a true pantsless revolution! How grand.

In all seriousness, I probably wouldn’t want some sort of pantless revolution. That has “bad idea” written all over it, but it’s thought-provoking no less. We are almost there as a society anyway. Just ponder a pantsless society. Is it any better? Probably not, but a fun thought.

A music industry alternative

NICK KROB nickkrob@ gmail.com

Our country, fueled by capitalistic ideologies and free-market principles, always has the same response to why the artists who sell well do so. Appearing to be indisputable, the most common argument in support of artists like Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber spews capitalism in claiming that they sell well as a result of the wishes of the people. Individuals in society, it appears, pick the artists they favor and those artists who receive the most support are the most successful. It makes sense, right? The strong survive. If you make music that appeals to the most people, you will be the most successful. Yet such thinking is entirely naive.

Justin Bieber has not sold as many albums as he has because the capitalist nature of America demanded it. Record companies do not let the people decide. Rather, they provide the public with artists and tell them to who like. It may seem odd, but record companies today are proactive rather than reactive.

Did Justin Bieber work his way up through the American music industry by convincing more and more people to buy his album? Of course not. Justin Bieber, as is in many other cases, was released upon America by the record companies to replace the likes of the Jonas Brothers. It was not impeccable talent and boundless creativity that helped him achieve his success. It was because he fit the mold. Had Ted Leo been singing “Baby,” some-

thing tells me the record companies rejecting their selections. Is this wouldn’t have pounced. what music is supposed to be? While Despite its overwhelming popu- an individual may happen to love larity in this country, many people every artist major record labels precomplain about the quality of music package and spoon-feed them, there today. Yet no one seems to see the is without question music they could reason for its prevalence. While potentially love even more that will nothing can be done to prevent never see the light of day. tweens from swooning over the likes Record labels have gone a long of Justin Bieber and high schoolers way to damage music in generfrom bumping to al by creating LMFAO, somestandards by thing can be done which all music to control what is judged. With we hear. If people ...supporting the musicians our current systruly believe popany artist you love when they truly tem, ular music today with common is the result of need it is a principle unheard sense realizes capitalist princi- of in the money-hungry that in order to ples, they should world of record labels. For achieve success, have no problem need the those who truly care about they implementing an help of record actually capitalist music, a change in the labels. In order system is long overdue. system. to achieve this Record labels help, few go only care about the route of what sells at a given time. They care the Damnwells or Wilco and most about popularity and money, noth- shape their sound and image to ing else. And frankly, some bands appease the executives. This leads to are easier to market than others. It the diminishing of artistic vision in doesn’t matter to a label which art- light of external expectations. ist makes the best music; it matters It is time, however, for the music which music will make the most industry to say hello to the modern money. Just look at Wilco’s “Yankee age. We are fortunate enough to Hotel Foxtrot.” Voted one of the now be able to eliminate the record best albums of the decade, they labels and take control over music. were dropped from their label prior With websites like Pledge Music to its releases. and the forthcoming Fanraiser, we, With this system in place, we as consumers, can directly support are subjecting ourselves to having music that is valuable to us. access only to the most marketable These websites allow artists to music, not necessarily the best. We, have complete control over their as consumers, allow record labels music free of record labels. It is to dictate the marketplace and are quite simple. Rather than makcontent in either approving of or ing an album and then selling it,

“

these websites flip the process and take donations in order to make an album. Incentives to the donators are offered by the bands, varying from items such as band merchandise to events such as private shows.

In return, the band has money to create an album for you.

Such a system allows for longterm music creation. Reliant solely upon the fans, artists can make music as long as enough people want it.

With the current system, however, fans, along with the bands, are left in the cold if a record label doesn’t believe a product can sell very much.

Currently, if only 10,000 people like a band, the band will likely cease to exist. Yet with the new system, such a band could thrive as long as the fans wanted them to.

If sites like these catch on, the whole of music will benefit. Fans will have control over what artists succeed, artists will be free to make music purely for their fans, and record labels would no longer decide the fate of artists. While likely diminishing the onset of future Bieber-phenomenons, such a system would produce more music, something that everyone can get excited about.

These revolutionary sites seem so obvious that labeling them as such seems ridiculous. Yet supporting the musicians you love when they truly need it is a principle unheard of in the money-hungry world of record labels. For those who truly care about music, a change in the system is long overdue. We are now being presented with an opportunity to implement this change. I hope it isn’t missed.

Sports The University

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Panther Profile

Hutcheson continues to pitch Panthers to victor y

By DRU JORGENSEN Sports Columnist

The University of Northern Iowa softball team recently defeated the University of Evansville in an 8-0 shutout. While the Panther batters were able to tally up eight runs, Panther pitcher Jaye Hutcheson completed the game with no runs allowed and gave up just four hits.

Hutcheson, a junior from Marion, knows softball is a team game.

“My team goals are to win a regular season conference championship and make it to the regional tournament,” said the pitcher.

She also has some personal goals.

“Individually, I’d like to be the best leader I can possibly be,” said Hutcheson.

“I want to give 110 percent every day. I’m working hard on not letting outside things, like school or other stresses, come onto the practice field.”

Every year, potential college athletes have to pick which school’s team they will join. Hutcheson knew

Hop Ultra (PG)

Fri-Sun 12:40, 2:45, 4:50, 6:55, 9:00 Mon-Thurs 4:50, 6:55, 9:00

UNI was the place for her.

“I chose UNI mainly because of softball. I was looking for an upper-level collegiate athletic experience that would push me to be the best player I can be,” said Hutcheson. “When I came on my college visit I loved the team, the coaches and UNI’s campus. I like that UNI is big, yet very personal. I know all my professors, and they know me by name.”

When Hutcheson was on her college visit to UNI, she really enjoyed the dining center, especially when she found out it was a buffet-style cafeteria. While Courtesy Photo/NI NEWS SERVICE Hutcheson picked UNI because she wanted to be UNI junior pitcher Jaye Hutcheson pushed, one main reason has recorded three wins for the she enjoys being here so Panthers this year while holding much is because of her down a 3.70 Earned Run Average.

She also leads the team with a .381 teammates. batting average.

“My teammates inspire me. I see how much hard said Hutcheson. “It’s a very work and effort they put satisfying feeling when you in every day to better the can see they had no idea team. I know how hard it was comthey work, ing, and you and the fact know you’ve that they are tricked them. doing it for Individually, I’d like to be “I also love ‘us’ as a team, the best leader I can be. I pitching in truly inspires want to give 110 percent p r e s s u r e me,” said every day. I’m working s i t u a t i o n s.

Hutcheson. hard on not letting outside Bottom of “It makes things, like school or other the seventh me want to inning, runwork hard- stresses, come onto the ners in scorer and give practice field. ing position even more Jaye Hutcheson with two for them.”

UNI junior softball pitcher outs, up by Not only one run and does the junior standout the other team’s best kid enjoy pitching, she even has up to bat. All the eyes are a particular pitch that she on you to close the game. likes to use.

That intensity and pressure “My favorite thing about excites me. It’s so much pitching is challenging the See PANTHER PROFILE, page 7 hitters with my changeup,”

“

April 30 is coming up fast.

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Ryan’s Rants

This is the season that never ends...

Courtesy Photo/MCT CAMPUS

Thursday and Friday is Opening Day for Major League Baseball. Each team will play 162 games between now and the end of the regular season. Many experts are projecting the Boston Red Sox as the favorites to win the World Series this fall.

By RYAN FRIEDERICH Sports Columnist

Are we expecting too much from professional athletes? I know this may sound like a preposterous statement, but I think the demands of being a professional athlete are ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t find any faults with regular season schedules in any of the sports we have. The one thing I can’t understand is why preseason and postseason schedules are so grueling.

Right now there is an NFL lockout. We are on the verge of only being able to look forward to the Professional Bowling Association on Sunday afternoons. One of the reasons there is a discrepancy between the owners and the players is because the National Football League pre-season schedule is far too long.

The guys in the NFL are there for a reason: they know how to play football.

These beasts of men have practically been playing football since their time in the womb and there is no need for more “practice” games at the beginning of the year.

I am writing this article as I watch the Atlanta Braves painfully finish off their spring training season.

The beginning of spring training is glorious: good weather, the popping of leather and the smell of the

fresh-cut grass. After about five days everyone gets sick of watching meaningless games and we want to see our superstars play all nine innings.

Spring training is a great opportunity for the young guys to prove their skills to the big league manager, but let’s be honest, we know who is going to make the final roster after a few at bats. I want to let it be known that I had to scrape really hard to find anything wrong with major league baseball!

Now, the National Basketball Association is a different story. The NBA playoffs are strung out more than Charlie Sheen on one of his epic runs.

Every NBA season should finish with the NBA allstar teams playing a huge game of knockout from half court, and the winning player’s team is crowned champion. I have dibs on the Milwaukee Bucks this year.

Professional sports are the backbone of this country, aren’t they? I think we need to cut to the chase and not make them feel like they are getting, shall I say, boring? This week is the opening week of baseball and I feel like it is Christmas every day the Braves suit up for the next eight months. I hope you enjoy opening day, unless you are a Washington Nationals or Chicago Cubs fan, and go Panthers!

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UPCOMING HOME UNI ATHLETIC EVENTS: SOFTBALL 4/02/11 vs. Southern Illinois -- Noon & 2 p.m.

4/03/11 vs. Southern Illinois -- Noon

TENNIS 4/03/11 vs. Drake -- Noon

SOCCER 4/13/11 vs. Upper Iowa -- 7 p.m.

You Don’t Have To Be Einstein!

Courtesy Photo/NI NEWS SERVICE

The UNI softball team is currently 17-13 overall and 4-2 in Missouri Valley Conference play. The Panthers next home game will be April 2 against Southern Illinois University.

PANTHER PROFILE continued from page 6

fun,” said Hutcheson.

Hutcheson admits she hadn’t batted that much until this year, but she likes the opportunity to help her team score runs. She actually did just that with two hits, an RBI and scored a run of her own to help the Panthers in their victory over Evansville.

Hutcheson’s favorite place to play is at UNI’s home field, the RobinsonDresser Sports Complex.

She likes the comfort it brings as well as the fans.

Her favorite memory from softball was defeating West Des Moines Valley High School in the state semifinals when she was at Linn-Mar High School.

Hutcheson is currently focused on softball, so she doesn’t really have any hobbies outside the sport.

However, she may pursue some after her Panther playing days are over. She is currently a public relations major with minors in journalism and marketing.

“I would really enjoy a future career in event

planning, maybe even for a college athletics team,” said Hutcheson.

“

I also love pitching in pressure situations.

Bottom of the seventh inning, runners in scoring position with two outs, up by one run and the other team’s best kid up to bat.

All the eyes are on you to close the game. That intensity and pressure excites me. It’s so much fun.

Jaye Hutcheson UNI junior softball pitcher

The next game for the Panthers will be against Southern Illinois on April 2 here in Cedar Falls.

The Northern Iowan is looking for a sports writer to cover track & field. Contact Brad Eilers if interested: eilersb@uni.edu

If you are a first-year or senior student at UNI, you can make a significant contribution to UNI. All you have to do is take 15 minutes to complete the National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE) and you will:  

Help UNI learn more about student experiences and become an even better university AND Be entered into a drawing for prizes!!

Check your UNI e-mail for the invitation to participate and check out the prizes at: www.uni.edu/assessment/nssedrawing.shtml

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Classifieds The University

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FOR SALE / FOR RENT

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Lovely apartments, houses near Sartori. Reasonable rent.

Available May/June. 266-7783

Spacious 1 BR. apartment. Air conditioning and off street parking. $575/MO. plus utilities. Text or call 319- 269- 2505

1 bedroom apts., large, clean, close to campus, utilities and cable paid, off-street parking and laundry. Available May 16th.

266- 1245 7 BR. on the hill. Pool table included. Available June 1st. $2500/MO. www.icrentals.com.

319- 931- 6507 CF 2 and 4 bedroom houses and apartments. Available June 1st.

No pets. 266- 0903 5 - BR apartment near UNI, 2 bathrooms, w/d, etc. 610- 2882 273- 6264 2 & 3 bedroom apts., clean, spacious, close to campus, utilities and cable paid, off-street parking and laundry. Available May 16th.

290- 8151 Large 4 BR. apart. $1200/mo.

Plus utilities, free laundry, offstreet parking, A/C. 269- 1743 Houses, duplexes, apts. facing UNI, 2 full baths w/d in the unit. garage / parking, internet / cable, etc. 266-5544, 273-6264 leave message.

4 BR. house 509 W. 26th. Close to UNI, three blocks. Central air, wash/dry, 2 full bathrooms and parking. Available June 1st. $1250/MO. plus 1250 deposit.

One year lease. 319- 239- 4246

For rent 4 BR. ranch with in five minutes of campus. Quiet neighborhood. Adequate parking. Responsible tenants only. May - may lease. 319- 480- 3100 CF duplexes for rent. 3 and 4 bedrooms available June 1st.

290-1490

House for rent. Floor to ceiling windows overlooking river bluffs.

2-4 bedroom, great room. Dishwasher, air conditioning, W/D. $2200/MO. includes utilities and cable. 2 garages available, $50 each per month. Text or call 319- 269- 2505

3 BR. suite $875/mo. Plus utilities, free laundry, off-street parking, A/C. Each tenant has own kitchen. 269- 1743

2 blocks off campus. Gorgeous 4 BR. 2 bath. Available May 1st.

319- 415- 3172

4 BR., 2 bath. 1928 Olive. Offstreet parking. W/D and yard care provided. No pets. June 1st. $1300/MO. 939- 5787 For rent, 4 BR. duplex near UNI. June 1st. 319- 240- 0880 4 BR., 2 bath. 1918 Olive. Offstreet parking. W/D and yard care provided. No pets. June 1st. $1250/MO. 939- 5787 4 BR., 2 bath. 1929 Olive. Offstreet parking. W/D and yard care provided. No pets. August 1st. $1350/MO. 939- 5787 4 BR. house. 516 W. 7th ST. CF. $1100/MO. Available June 1st 2011 to May 31st, 2012. A/C, all appliances furnished. Call after 5 P.M. 641- 394- 3689

Duplex for Rent, 5 minutes to UNI, 4 bedroom unit and 2 bedroom unit; central A/C, washer/ dryer, garage, lawn care provided, utilities included, available June 1, call 319-230-5082.

4 Bedroom House 509W26th, close to UNI (3blocks), central air, washer, dryer, 2 full bathrooms, parking, avail. June 1, $1250/ month +$1250 deposit, year lease, 319-239-4246 CF 4 BR. Townhouse 2.5 baths $1200/mo. 1413 W 2nd.

266- 5789 2 BR. at 2222 Walnut. $600/MO. Some utilities paid. 277- 8719

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1803 1/2 Franklin St 4 Bedroom, 1 Bathroom $1,200/month Available May 7 Dishwasher & Microwave included Kitchen recently remodeled Washer/Dryer included

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northern-iowan.org

FOR SALE / FOR RENT

Very nice/clean 3 bedroom house for rent on 5th Street in Cedar Falls. $1000/month +util/ dep. Available in May. No pets.

Email or call 319-610-2492 for more information.Email marcus@thehublivemusic.com

HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED Hiring! Do you have a summer job but don’t like it? Looking for 4-5 more driven students to help run a business this summer in a paid internship, gaining real world experience.

Average student makes $800/week. Call 319-2391025 to see if you qualify!

Certified lifeguards and swim instructors for summer season.

Sunnyside Country Club Waterloo. Call Connie. 319- 277- 3351 Wanted - real estate manager for 40 units near each other 266-5544 Help wanted. Tony’s Pizzaria downtown Main Street. Hiring servers, cooks and drivers. Go to www.277tony.com. Fill out application and mention The Northern Iowan.

Summer/seasonal positions available. A variety of summer (3 month) and seasonal (3-8 month) positions available, working for the City of West Des Moines. New jobs posted weekly! Go to www. wdm-ia.com for description, salary and to apply on-line. Equal Opportunity Employer.

Earn $1000-$3200 a month to drive our brand new cars with ads placed on them. www.AdCarDriver.com

Still Looking For A House?

218 Westgate 4 Bedroom, 1.5 Bathroom $1,200/month Available May 7 Free Cable, Free Washer/ Dryer Remodeled Kitchen Garage Available Mowing Included

1892

ROOMMATE Looking for 1 roommate for the house on the corner of Walnut and Seerly (2403 Walnut St.)! One boy and two girls signing a lease that starts when school gets out! If you are interested let me know!

712- 789- 0493 sandbota@uni.edu

MISC Local game console repairs all problems. www.cvxgameconsolerepair.com

FOUND FOUND: Gold women’s wedding band. Found east of Seerly. Call 268- 0075

Have a classified?

Advertise with us!

3915 Southlawn Rd 4 Bedroom, 1.5 Bathroom $1,200/month Available May 7 Free Cable, Free Washer/ Dryer Dishwasher and Garbage Disposal Garage Available Mowing Included

P:319- 273- 2175 Email: northerniowan@uni.edu

Call Tim

319-404-9095

www.CedarValleyPropertyManagement.com

Now Leasing for 2011-2012 Free High Speed Internet Free Cable & TV Jack in your bedroom

at 319-215-5200 Today!

Free Parking Space On site Laundry Facilities No Bus to Ride No roomsharing Close to Campus

1, 2, 3, & 4 Bedroom Apts