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PAUL SUTHERLAND IS OUT TO

CHANGE THE WORLD NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • march 6 - march 12, 2017 • Vol. 27 No. 10

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2 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

Making America Great?

letters HIT SEND! Love what we’re doing here? Disagree with something you’ve read on these pages? Share your views with a quick letter to the editor by shooting us an email. OUR SIMPLE RULES: Keep your letter to 300 words or less, send no more than one per month, include your name/address/phone number, and agree to allow us to edit. That’s it. Email info@northernexpress.com and hit send!

Another Diagnosis

In response to Karen Martin’s letter about the lack of fact checking, alternative facts, and fake news since the election of our new president – you wonder what to believe. Ms. Martin threw out there a diagnosis of narcissism. It’s possible to have more than one diagnosis. Pathologic individuals tell lies to get what they want, be it tangible or otherwise, i.e. to “take down” another person. These are people who retaliate against those they believe stand in their way. They will cleverly manipulate others into assisting them with their agendas. I invite you to reference Dr. Robert

Hare and evaluate for yourself if you find traits that fit the sociopath. You know he’s different, but question what that “different” is. It’s guesstimated that one of every 23-25 people who walk among us is like that. And anyone can become their target. No time like the present to learn more on this topic. Take it from an “experienced target”: Prepare for more drama, more excuses, more back-pedaling…question everything. As for the next four years, hopefully our new president will surround himself with honest, capable people whom he will listen to and not retaliate against. Bonnee Fradette, Cheboygan

Protect The EPA

Politics aside, whether we are natives, newbies, fudgies, or investors, we treasure the pristine natural beauty of Northern Michigan. Historically, our lakes and environment have been threatened. There have been required cleanups of soil toxins prior to new construction; past or current fish consumption advisories in lakes Michigan, Charlevoix, Elk, Glen, Higgins, Houghton, Manistee, and Torch; and below standard air quality in the Benzie County Crystal Lake watershed as recently as 2014. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency with the MI DEQ has been instrumental in preventing, detecting, and even reversing many of our environmental problems. With future threats including Asian Carp, microbead plastics, drain water runoff, and possible underwater oil pipeline rupture, it is illogical and irresponsible for our 1st District Representative Jack Bergman to have co-sponsored and endorse House bills to reduce powers of the EPA. With our shared shorelines, these issues cannot be managed by state agencies alone. Consider the Great Lakes Water Quality Act, the Clean Air Interstate Rule, and the 1973 banning of lead in gasoline. Please help protect our resources by letting Representative Bergman and Senators Stabenow and Peters know that closing down or limiting the EPA could be disastrous for Michigan.

On CNN last week, Carl Bernstein said Trump has “no interest in the truth.” The primary goal seems to be to undermine trust in our press and the FBI and CIA. The present administration is doing a very good job at that. They try to convince us that up is down and in is out. Trump has the audacity to demand names of news sources when he himself continues to make assertions by innuendo and does not pretend to back up his statements with facts. He spews willy-nilly as he labels the ideas of others as dishonest without providing evidence. His namecalling and labelling is juvenile. This is a time of heightened fragility for our citizens and our country. We can’t allow ourselves to lose track of American ideals and principles. The America I have always been part of has stood for equality, integrity, concern for others, tolerance and a welcoming spirit. We must be sure to hold our leadership to the highest standards of our heritage. Refute ignorance for what it is. We must stand up for a free press and let our voices be heard. This is no time for complacency. Reflect on the tiny percentage of Germans who stood by and allowed Hitler to takeover history. They wanted Germany to be great. Shame on us if we allow Trump to destroy our free press in his quest for greatness.

CONTENTS

features Crime and Rescue Map........................................7

Gaylord Gourmet...........................................11 Be Savvy with Your Money..............................12 Maximum Microbrews.......................................14 Paul Sutherland Out to Change the World..........16 Seen..................................................................19

dates...............................................20-23 music Musical Fun, Made in Michigan........................15

FourScore.......................................................24 Nightlife............................................................26

columns & stuff Top Five............................................................5

Spectator/Stephen Tuttle....................................4 Weird................................................................8 Style..................................................................9 Modern Rock/Kristi Kates.................................25 The Reel.......................................................27 Margaret Forgione, Traverse City Advice Goddess..............................................28 Crossword.....................................................29 Freewill Astrology...........................................30 Classifieds......................................................31 Solidarity with ACLU Everyone is now aware of the crucial role of the ACLU in combating the Trump administration’s policies that violate the civil liberties and rights of individuals. This was especially evident in the ACLU’s involvement in the Washington case resulting in an injunction halting President Trump’s misguided and unconstitutional executive order on immigration. But there is another ACLU action about which the public is perhaps not fully aware— that the ACLU has appeared in a suit as amicus curia (friend of the court) brought by the Standing Rock and Cheyenne River Northern Express Weekly is published by Eyes Only Media, LLC. Sioux Tribes against the U.S. Army Corps Publisher: Luke Haase of Engineers and Dakota Access, LLP, the 129 E Front Traverse City, MI owner of the controversial pipeline. That Phone: (231) 947-8787 Fax: 947-2425 suit, originally commenced last summer, has email: info@northernexpress.com been updated in light of Trump’s directive www.northernexpress.com (made in his second day in office) overruling Finance & Distribution Manager: Brian Crouch the Corps’ previous position and ordering Sales: Kathleen Johnson, Peg Muzzall, Katy McCain, construction permits to be granted allowing Mike Bright, Michele Young, Randy Sills, Todd Norris the pipeline project to go forward. The case For ad sales in Petoskey, Harbor Springs, awaits a decision. Boyne & Charlevoix, call (231) 881-5943 The ACLU has a national policy that Creative Director: Kyra Poehlman “supports the rights of Native American Distribution: Matt Ritter, Randy Sills, peoples to (1) A tribal land base and Kathy Twardowski, Austin Lowe appurtenant natural resources…and (4) Listings Editor: Jamie Kauffold Enforcement of the commitments made Contributing Editor: Kristi Kates Reporter: Patrick Sullivan to them by the United States in treaties, Contributors: Amy Alkon, Janice Binkert, compacts, and by other governmental Ross Boissoneau, Rob Brezsny, Jennifer Hodges, actions.” Accordingly, as amicus the Candra Kolodziej, Clark Miller, Al Parker, ACLU specifically stands alongside several Michael Phillips, Chuck Shepherd, Steve Tuttle, Tyler Parr hundred federally recognized Indian Photography: Michael Poehlman, Peg Muzzall tribes, among which is the United Tribes Copyright 2016, all rights reserved. Distribution: 36,000 of Michigan which, in turn, is made up of copies at 600+ locations weekly. Northern Express Weekly 12 recognized Michigan tribes including is free of charge, but no person may take more than the Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and one copy of each weekly issue without written permission Chippewa Indians. of Northern Express Weekly. Reproduction of all content In short, in the Dakota Pipeline litigation without permission of the publisher is prohibited. the ACLU is representing and supporting our Native American neighbors right here in Leelanau County. Get an ACLU blue ribbon and wear it in solidarity with them! Steve Morse, Suttons Bay

Cynthia Miner, Traverse City

Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 3

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Shortly after a date was set for the Women’s March on Washington, I started making plans to attend. Despite my aversion to crowds, I felt driven to participate, and as I told my husband, “I need to be counted. I need to be a pinpoint in the aerial photos documenting the event.” I didn’t feel compelled to protest against our new president, but rather to demonstrate for issues that are important to me as a woman and mother. Reproductive rights and access to women’s healthcare continue to be restricted; Roe v. Wade is in danger of being repealed with at least a couple of Supreme Court appointments in the balance. Women still do not earn the same as men for identical work; we continue to be sexu-

me, they wanted to be counted. Following the event, an old high school friend who happens to be a conservative white male accusingly asked, “How have you specifically been oppressed, what specific rights have been taken away from you, and when exactly did it happen?” Like many people in a position of privilege, he doesn’t think these issues are a problem because they don’t affect him personally. I explained that even if I did provide him with a list of specific rights that have been violated or taken away, it wouldn’t matter. We still don’t have an Equal Rights Amendment and any complaint I bring forward is completely null. The amendment would have ensured that “equality of rights under

Protests are also effective. They attach real faces and real voices to a cause. Everyone notices a protest – the politicians, the press, and the public. ally harassed and discriminated against; and we don’t have equal representation in government or in the major corporations that are pulling its strings. For me, the experience of marching was almost religious. Over a half million of us, wrapped in solidarity and support, came together for a common cause – publicly demanding that those in power account for their actions and rectify the problems facing women, especially the poor and marginalized. At a time when more and more of us feel isolated, I had an overwhelming sense of purpose and belonging. Eye contact, smiles, meaningful conversation and connection were happening all around me. I wore my pussy hat as a badge of honor, and being a tiny part of the massive horde of pink filled my heart with pride. Police officers stationed along our route seemed proud to be part of his historic event as well – they were actively engaged by taking photos for marchers, giving us encouragement, and updating us on other marches happening around the world. It was calm, peaceful and inspiring. Afterwards, I was surprised by the number of people who simply didn’t get the point. “Isn’t it wrong to protest the result of a lawful election?” was the question of confusion. Even our president, in his very first post-inauguration tweet, attacked “professional protesters” who came out after we “just had a very open and successful presidential election.” The administration, along with the media outlets that support it, were treating protesters like sore losers, paid operatives or even criminals. This anti-protest mentality supposes that the only way to participate in politics is to cast a ballot. Well, the marchers did vote. Their candidate didn’t win the election, but nonetheless, they felt obliged to continue fighting for justice and for the issues that are important to them moving forward. They wanted their voices heard, and like

the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.” Right now, in a country where “all men are created equal,” the Supreme Court is left with little legal recourse for sex discrimination claims. So, even though I don’t have equal rights under the law, as a U.S. Citizen, my first amendment right allows me to “peaceably... assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” Peaceful assembly is as important a democratic institution as are elections. Marches promote positive social change and the advancement of human rights, encourage the development of an engaged and informed citizenry, and strengthen our representative democracy by allowing direct participation in public affairs. Protests are also effective. They attach real faces and real voices to a cause. Everyone notices a protest – the politicians, the press, and the public. They have played a major role in abolishing slavery, preventing the exploitation of labor, ending wars, and extending rights to women and minorities. Lastly, demonstrating is a powerful antidote for hopelessness and despair. The choice to demonstrate is the choice to take control of our body, our time, and our words – and in doing so, to reclaim the ability to see a future. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg expressed it best: “The women’s march... never have I seen such a demonstration both in the numbers and the rapport of the people in that crowd. There was no violence, it was orderly. So yes, we are not experiencing the best of times, but there is hope we will see a better day.” Christie Minervini owns Sanctuary Handcrafted Gifts in the Village at Grand Traverse Commons, and is passionate about gender equality, community development, and ending homelessness.

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top five Pure Northern Michigan Milk Recognized A family-run Kalkaska dairy has won an award inspired by Johnny Appleseed. George and Sally Shetler of Shetler Family Dairy were presented with the Chapman Award – named for John Chapman, a.k.a. Johnny Appleseed – as part of the Food and Farming Network’s annual Farm Route to Prosperity Summit for their work advancing agriculture in northwest Lower Michigan. The Shetlers represent “the clearest example of a new entrepreneurial agriculture necessary for the ongoing sustainability of the region’s food system,” said Bill Palladino, the network’s co-chair. “The Shetlers’ leadership in farming, business, family and community has influenced thousands.” Shetler Dairy, now in its third generation, has produced milk in Kalkaska since 1979 and is known their classic, returnable glass milk bottles.

bottomsup SugarKissed’s Hot Chocolate Bar By “bar,” we don’t mean candy bar (although that would probably be delicious, too) – we’re referring to SugarKissed’s stepright-up hot chocolate drink selections, an assortment of sweet libations that are miles beyond those cocoa-packet-derived beverages you used to drink around the skating rink as a kid. SugarKissed’s hot chocolate drinks are crafted daily on-site and made with many of their own personal touches, from the house-made salted caramel to local favorite the Milky Way, which includes more of that caramel and is drizzled with homemade chocolate ganache on top. Other specialty hot chocolates include the Toasted S’More with marshmallow and graham crackers; the Tiramisu, infused with vanilla; and the Thin Mint, infused with mint and sprinkled with Andes Mint candies. You can make your own combos, too, with SugarKissed’s long list of available flavors and toppings. Just don’t forget to ask for whipped crème on top – it’s made fresh and in-house with heavy whipping crème, fresh vanilla beans and a little sugar for sweetening. SugarKissed is located at 127 E. Front Street in downtown Traverse City. Visit online at sugarkissedtc.com or call (231) 421-9156.

crystal mountain slush cup Ski or ride through a giant pit of icy slush during Crystal Mountain’s Slush Cup at their Spring Carnival on Sat., March 11 at 2pm. Other events include Family Bootcamp, Cardboard Classic Creative Sled Contest, Cardboard Classic Race, DJ Dance Party & BBQ, Free Slopeside Concert featuring Brena, & much more. crystalmountain.com/events/spring-fling

Speakers Hope to Clear the Smoke What is and what’s not allowed under Michigan’s ever-evolving Medical Marijuana Act? Speakers at a March 26 event at Traverse City’s Hagerty Center hope they can sort it out for you. State laws meant to clarify the implementation of the voter-approved Medical Marijuana Act were signed by Gov. Rick Snyder in September and went into effect in December. The new laws touch every aspect of medical marijuana, including growing, selling, testing, processing and transporting legal medical marijuana. The requirements are difficult to understand and the details have not been determined yet. “The state has issued no guidelines, no FAQ’s, no help desk to assist entrepreneurs in deciphering the new business opportunities created by the three Public Acts,” said Flint-based medical marijuana activist Rick Thompson. Speakers will include medical marijuana specialists Daniel Grow, a downstate attorney, and Jesse Williams, an attorney whose office is in Benzonia. The event takes place March 26 and doors open at 10am. To purchase tickets, visit www.micbd.com.

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We’re told 43 percent of third graders in the Traverse City Area Public Schools (TCAPS) system do not read at grade level. That isn’t very good. How did so many fall so far behind in so short a period of time? It must be bad teachers or inattentive parents or faulty curricula or maybe all three. Or maybe none of the above. Let’s back up. What is the standard we’re trying to achieve? Who decides? Four years ago Michigan replaced the Michigan Educational Assessment Program (MEAP) with the Michigan Student (tax included).

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That’s a little tougher with a one-sizefits-all test now risen to the level of The Most Important Test in the History of the World. Performance reviews in many places reward or punish teachers based on their state’s standardized test scores. Michigan and other states publish results in a sort of rank order. Schools brag about their good scores and there can be dire consequences for schools posting poor scores. None of this takes anything into account other than the almighty test score. Learning disabilities, English as a second language,

It might come as a shock to some of you, but the purpose of the classroom used to be teaching, not test preparation. Standardized tests were a tool, not an objective. Test of Educational Progress (M-STEP). In the world of statewide standardized testing, acronyms are very important. M-STEP is based on meeting the Common Core standards once adopted by 42 states before it became a political football. The idea of those standards, initially created by the National Governors Association and department of education representatives from 48 states, was to create uniform educational goals for each grade level. How to best meet those goals was up to each state. So M-STEP, created to be more challenging, replaced MEAP. But they didn’t stop there. The very next year M-STEP was changed. The new and improved MSTEP test has fewer multiple choice options and requires more evidence of critical thinking. It is more challenging than the first M-STEP, which was more challenging than MEAP, which will push more students behind grade level. In three years, students had three different tests, with three different kinds of questions and rhythms, the last two of accelerating difficulty. Maybe that’s why they’re not doing so well on standardized tests. Parents and the education community seem to agree we should have high expectations of our students and a way to measure their progress. But the standard is too often a moving target, and we’ve yet to find testing instruments that accurately measure learning. The irony here is the solution is standing right in front of us. They’re called teachers. Given consistent standards and room from parents and off-site bureaucrats to teach, they are the answer. It might come as a shock to some of you, but the purpose of the classroom used to be teaching, not test preparation. Standardized tests were a tool, not an objective. They were amply assisted by quizzes that occurred with alarming frequency. Since teachers are all too aware their students will not learn at the same pace, especially in the early grades, they could allocate student time accordingly.

horrible domestic circumstances, injury or illness and other factors all play roles in student performance. What a good teacher is trained to recognize and accommodate a test score ignores completely. What we’re accomplishing is teaching students how to take a standardized test created by somebody outside of the classroom based on standards somebody somewhere else created. We can’t possibly expect young children to succeed when we drag them off in a different direction every year because how and what we taught last year is no longer fashionable. Even worse, politicians have suddenly become education experts. They know what’s best for the kids because, as their campaigns told us ad nauseam, they love the kids. So a state legislator here in Michigan has suggested a new reading program based on one used, and then discarded, by Massachusetts. There’s probably a new test in there, too. We’re forcing classrooms to become daily teach-to-the-test symposiums instead of learning environments. Teachers have little choice, given the potentially dire consequences of poor test results. Changing curricula and testing every year or so to satisfy the whims of the next group of politicians in power is daffy. And while we now expect our school children to be adaptable, it’s unreasonable to assume they’re chameleons. A foolish consistency might be the hobgoblin of little minds, as Ralph Waldo Emerson claimed, but real consistency is critical for little brains, or at least young ones. We’ve decided testing, not teaching, is the key to better educated children. That’s a mistake, but good teachers will find a way to deal with it given consistent goals and the time to successfully achieve those goals. The best solution isn’t yet another standard requiring yet another curricula change to prepare for yet another test. Better the politicians, their out-of-the-classroom bureaucratic allies and their latest educational fads just get out of the way and let teachers teach.

Crime & Rescue BOYFRIEND ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT A 28-year-old woman with a bloody nose denied to police she’d been assaulted by her 30-year-old boyfriend, but police arrested the boyfriend anyway based on comments she made that were overheard by emergency responders. The couple, who live together in Grand Rapids and were staying at a condo near the Grand Traverse Resort, called for medical help Feb. 25. EMS personnel called police after they overheard the woman talk about being assaulted by her boyfriend. When deputies arrived, the woman claimed she was not assaulted and said she’d injured her face when she fell into a nightstand, Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s Capt. Randy Fewless said. Earlier, however, a paramedic overheard her tell her boyfriend he’d hit her before and she’d had enough, but that she loved him nonetheless. The boyfriend was arrested. TNT: MEN SOLD HEROIN FROM MOTEL After police received a tip about heroin being sold from a Benzonia motel room, they set up surveillance and officers swooped in for two arrests. Traverse Narcotics Team officers got the anonymous tip Feb. 22 and spied what looked like drugs being sold from the motel room. Detectives and Benzie County Sheriff’s deputies stopped the suspects after they tried to drive away and arrested the men, who turned out to be on parole. As deputies approached the vehicle, a 30-year-old suspect inserted a plastic bag into his mouth. The suspect later admitted that he and his 27-year-old companion were en route to deliver drugs and that he’d swallowed a bag of heroin. The heroin was later recovered. The men’s motel room was searched with the assistance of a parole officer and more evidence of drug dealing was discovered, TNT said in a news release. TEEN ACCUSED OF CRIME SPREE An East Bay Township teenager is accused stealing stuff from unlocked cars, including two handguns and 70 pounds of ammunition. Grand Traverse Sheriff’s deputies arrested Dylan Michael Porter for larceny from a motor vehicle and felony firearm after an investigation of stolen firearms took them across Grand Traverse and Leelanau counties. The thefts stretched over a couple weeks and the investigation took detectives to Empire, where they recovered the two stolen handguns at the home of an acquaintance of the suspect. The guns and ammunition had been stolen from a vehicle in East Bay Township, according to Porter’s charges. Detectives also found suspected stolen property when they searched the Leelanau County home and two other houses in East Bay Township. They found electronics, power tools, clothing and jewelry. WOMAN SUCCUMBS TO INJURIES A woman who was pulled from a burning house in Kalkaska died days later of her injuries. Mary Jo Tester died Feb. 27, five days after rescuers from the Kalkaska Department of Public Safety and the Kalkaska County Sheriff’s department pulled the 50-year-old from a burning house. Tester was paraplegic, which made it tougher for her to recover from the severe injuries she suffered in the fire. Investigators have yet to determine a cause of the fire at 104 Division Street, said KDPS Lt. Glenn Artress.

by patrick sullivan psullivan@northernexpress.com

FEDS: WOMAN BILKED OVER $7.5 MILLION Federal officials say an Ellsworth woman swindled investors out of $7.5 million in a Ponzi scheme. Sarah Bolhuis was sentenced to 70 months in federal prison and ordered to pay $5,225,854.41 to 53 victims at a hearing in federal court in February, acting U.S. Attorney Andrew Birge said. The 70-year-old pled guilty in September to money laundering and wire fraud after she admitted to making false claims to people in order to get them to hand over money. Instead of investing money she received from clients, Bolhuis used some of it to pay returns for other investors and to pay “finder fees” to people who recruited new investors. In a sentencing memorandum, the U.S. Attorney’s Office said victims suffered “substantial financial hardship” as a result of the fraud. MAN ARRESTED FOR 5TH DWI Leelanau County Sheriff’s deputies arrested a Traverse City man for drunk driving after he crashed on Cherry Bend Road. The 56-year-old has four previous drunk driving convictions and his license was suspended, deputies said. Witnesses said the man drove his pickup through a stop sign onto Cherry Bend Road from Strang Road, ran over a garbage can and then drove off of the road. The man was injured in the crash, which happened the afternoon of Feb. 28. JEEP STRIPPED AND BURNED A disabled Jeep left at the side of a Benzie County two-track was discovered a couple days later stripped and burned. Benzie County Sheriff’s deputies are looking for information about the arson and theft, which took place between sundown Feb. 25 and noon Feb. 27 on Lost Lake Road near Turtle Lake in Inland Township. The owner of a 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee, purchased just a week earlier, was two-tracking with friends when her vehicle broke down. She parked it on the side of the trail on state land and planned to retrieve it the next day, but poor weather intervened. A day later, friends went to retrieve the vehicle and found the Jeep on its side, burned and stripped of parts. The Jeep was a total loss. Deputies said they have several leads but anyone who know anything about it should contact the sheriff’s department.

PURPORTED HEROIN TRAFFICER HALTED After members of the Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s interdiction team learned that a vehicle hauling heroin would be entering the county, they stopped the car and made an arrest. The officers learned of the heroin Feb. 26 and at 10:45pm located the suspect and made a traffic stop. As a result, deputies arrested a 35-yearold Traverse City man for possession with intent to deliver heroin, introducing contraband into a correctional facility and driving while license suspended second offence. MAN ARRESTED FOR CHOKING GIRLFRIEND Deputies who were called to a Kingsley home for a report of a vehicle theft ended up investigating an alleged violent assault. A 35-year-old Arkansas woman told Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s deputies that her 22-year-old boyfriend had taken her car on the evening of Feb. 25. She also said the man, who is from the area but has lived in Arkansas for the past year, choked her twice and punched her in the face before he left. Deputies sought a warrant for domestic violence against the man, said Capt. Randy Fewless. The man couldn’t be tracked down that night, but deputies happened upon the suspect a day later when they were called to a barn near Kingsley to investigate an alleged sexual assault in which the domestic violence suspect was not involved. Deputies spotted his vehicle, however, and arrested him for drunk driving, domestic violence, and five

other warrants, including a Wexford County felony warrant for assault with a dangerous weapon and second-offense domestic violence. The man was also expected to be charged with resisting arrest. COAST GUARD RESCUES BEAVER ISLAND MAN A man who was suffering from a lifethreatening illness was airlifted off Beaver Island by Coast Guard rescuers. Personnel from U.S. Coast Guard Air Station Traverse City were dispatched to the island on the morning of Feb. 25. Their first effort to reach the island in an MH-65 Dolphin helicopter was thwarted by heavy fog, snow and ice; a second crew from the air station was able to reach the island later in the morning. The man was taken to Cherry Capital Airport where an ambulance transferred him to Munson Medical Center.

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Suspicions Confirmed Despite California’s 2015 law aimed at improving the fairness of its red-light cameras, the city of Fremont (pop. 214,000, just north of San Jose) reported earning an additional $190,000 more each month last year by shortening the yellow light by twothirds of a second at just two intersections. Tickets went up 445 percent at one and 883 percent at the other. (In November 2016, for “undisclosed reasons,” the city raised the speed limit on the street slightly, “allowing” it to reinstate the old 0.7-second-longer yellow light.) Updates of Previous Characters -- and Some Recurring Themes -- Tammy Felbaum surfaced in News of the Weird in 2001 when she, originally Mr. Tommy Wyda, consensually castrated James Felbaum (her sixth husband), but he died of complications, resulting in Tammy’s manslaughter conviction. (Among the trial witnesses: a previous spouse, who had also let “expert” Tammy castrate him: “She could castrate a dog in less than five minutes.”) Felbaum, now 58, was arrested in February at the Westmoreland County (Pennsylvania) Courthouse after mouthing off at security guards searching her purse. She quipped sarcastically, “I have guns and an Uzi (and) a rocket launcher. I am going to shoot a judge today.” (She was in court on a dispute over installation of a sewer line to her trailer home.) -- Marissa Alexander of Jacksonville, Florida, convicted and given a 20-year sentence in 2012 for firing a warning shot into a wall to fend off her abusive estranged husband, finally had the charges dropped in February. The persnickety trial judge had earlier determined that Florida’s notorious “Stand Your Ground” law did not apply, even though the husband admitted that he was threatening to rough up Alexander and that she never aimed the gun at him. (With that defense not allowed, Alexander was doomed under Florida’s similarly notorious 20-year mandatory sentence for aggravated assault using a gun.) -- In 2008, Vince Li, a passenger on a Greyhound bus in Canada, stabbed another passenger, then beheaded him and started to eat him, and in 2009 was “convicted” -but “not criminally responsible” because of schizophrenia. He has been institutionalized and under treatment since then, and in February, doctors signed off on an “absolute” release back into society for Li (now known as Will Baker) -- declining a “conditional” release, which would have required continued monitoring. Manitoba province law requires absolute discharge if doctors conclude, on the “weight of the evidence,” that the patient is no longer a “significant” safety threat. -- Doris Payne, 86, was arrested once again for shoplifting -- this time at an upscale mall in an Atlanta suburb in December -- but according to a 2013 documentary, “careerwise,” she has stolen more than $2 million in jewelry from high-end shops around the world. No regrets, she said on the film, except “I regret getting caught.” Said her California-based lawyer, “Aside from her ‘activities,’ she is a wonderful person with a lot of fun stories.” -- When disaster strikes, well-meaning people are beseeched to help, but relief workers seem always bogged down with wholly inappropriate donations (which take additional time and money to sort and store and discard; instead, all such charities

recommend “cash”). A January report by Australia’s principal relief organization praised Aussies’ generosity in spite of recent contributions of high heels, handbags, chain saws, sports gear, wool clothing and canned goods -- much of which will eventually go to landfills. (Workers in Rwanda reported receiving prom gowns, wigs, tiger costumes, pumpkins and frostbite cream.) -- Least Competent Criminals: (1) Alvin Neal, 56, is merely the most recent bank robber to begin the robbery sequence (at a Wells Fargo branch in San Diego) after identifying himself to a teller (by swiping his ATM card through a machine at the counter). He was sentenced in January. (2) Also failing to think through their crime was the group of men who decided to snatch about $1,200 from the Eastside Grillz tooth-jewelry shop in St. Paul, Minnesota, in February. They fled despite two of them having already provided ID and one having left a mold of his teeth. -- No Longer Weird: (1) Matthew Mobley, 41, was arrested in Alexandria, Louisiana, in February (No. 77 on his rap sheet) after getting stuck in the chimney of a business he was breaking into. (2) Former postal worker Gary Collins, 53, of Forest City, North Carolina, pleaded guilty in February to having hoarded deliverable U.S. mail as far back as 2000. (He is far from the worst mail hoarder, by volume, that News of the Weird has mentioned.) -- Luckiest (Bewildered) Animals: (1) In December, a 400-pound black bear at the Palm Beach, Florida, zoo (“Clark”) got a root canal from dentist Jan Bellows, to fix a painful fractured tooth. (2) In January, a pet ferret (“Zelda”) in Olathe, Kansas, received a pacemaker from Kansas State University doctors, who said Zelda should thus be able to live the ferret’s normal life span. (3) In January, an overly prolific male African tortoise (“Bert”), of Norwich, England, who had developed arthritis from excessive “mounting,” was fitted with wheels on the back of his shell to ease stress on his legs. -- More People Who Might Consider Relocating: (1) In January, another vehicle flew off a Parkway West exit ramp in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, plowing into (the eighth crash in nine years) the Snyder Brothers Automotive parking lot. (2) Leonard Miller, 88, once again (the fifth time) picked up the pieces in January from his Lanham, Maryland, home after a speeding car smashed into it. -- “I grew up fishing with my dad,” Alabaman Bart Lindsey told a reporter, which might explain why Lindsey likes to sit in a boat in a lake on a lazy afternoon. More challenging is why (and how) he became so good at the phenomenon that turned up in News of the Weird first in 2006: “fantasy fishing,” handing in a perfect card picking the top eight competitors in the Fishing League Worldwide Tour event in February on Lake Guntersville. “It can be tricky,” he said. “I’ve done a lot of research.” -- Each December Deadspin.com reviews public records of the federal Consumer Product Safety Commission to compile a list of items that caused emergency-room visits when they somehow got stuck inside people. Highlights from 2016: In the Nose (raisin, plastic snake, magnets in each nostril). Throat (pill bottle, bottle cap, hoop earring). Penis (sandal buckle, doll shoe, marble). Vagina (USB adapter, “small painting kit,” heel of a shoe). Rectum (flashlight, shot glass, egg timer, hammer, baseball, ice pick “to push hemorrhoids back in”).

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GAYLORD GOURMETS TRY IT ALL! By Kristi Kates Gourmet goodies, a bevy of beverages and multiple chances to win all manner of fun stuff (and to help a good cause, too) – what better way for a Gaylord gastronome to while away an evening? You’ll find all of the above at this year’s Taste of Gaylord, a special event showcasing the diversity of the Alpine Village’s restaurant scene. FOODIE FIRST The first Taste of Gaylord got its foodie footing back in the early 2000s as a way for local food purveyors to introduce locals and visitors to an extravagant sampling of area dishes and drinks. The concept is a simple one: you buy a ticket that allows you to circulate the room all night enjoying tastes of appetizers, entrees, desserts and more (a cash bar is available for beverages). This year’s Taste of Gaylord has a fresh new theme. Gayla Fitzgerald, membership services director for the Gaylord Area Chamber of Commerce and event organizer, said, “We’re theming it to the old movies set in the ‘30s and ‘40s. We’re going to have a red carpet runner and black and white and gold decorations, and we’ll be projecting old vintage film footage on the walls.” EPICUREAN EVENING All the better to highlight Taste of Gaylord’s epicurean atmosphere for the 400 or so people expected to attend. As in prior years, the evening will include dishes from over 15 restaurants, including Otsego Club, La Señorita, Main Street Market and Bistro, Dairy Queen, Alpine Chocolate Haus, The Ridge and also students from Gaylord’s culinary arts classes. Additional highlights include offerings from Michaywe Inn the Woods and Bennethum’s Northern Inn. “Michaywe will bring a sushi appetizer plus Korean tacos with barbecue beef, kimchi, jalapeno spicy mayo and cilantro and pink champagnepoached pears for dessert,” Fitzgerald confirmed. “And Bennethum’s will have Ahi Tuna Diablo with fresh Hawaiian mango habanero slaw and short rib Wellington with mushrooms and a demi-glace. Dessert will be a mudslide mousse chocolate tart with Bailey’s and Kahlua.” A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING On the lighter side, Gaylord’s Family Fare

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supermarket’s deli catering will offer Michiganmade cheeses and fish spreads with crackers, while the local Starbucks will supply cold brew coffee. There will also be raffles of restaurant gift cards throughout the evening and of course the live auction. “The benefit auction proceeds will benefit the Otsego County leadership classes,” Fitzgerald explained. “They meet once a month to help selected Gaylord students gain leadership skills.” This year’s auction goods include a cooking grill, a picture-window mirror, wine baskets and picnic baskets, a beverage cooler and a package from the Otsego Dental Group – over 40 items in all to bid on. “The whole thing is a lot of fun,” Fitzgerald said. “We’ll also have live entertainment and a photo booth, and it’s just neat to go all around the convention center at Treetops to make sure you get to try a little of everything.” The 2017 Taste of Gaylord will take place from 5:30-8pm Mar. 7 at Treetops Resort in Gaylord. For more information and/or tickets ($30 per person), stop in at the chamber office at 319 W. Main St., visit gaylordchamber.com or call (989) 732-6333 or (800) 345-8621.

Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 11

BE SAVVY WITH YOUR MONEY Top Investing Tips for 2017

By Kristi Kates With America adjusting to a new president and the economy in an uncertain state, it’s an especially prudent time to seek guidance for your money. Whether you’re trying to bankroll a savings account, are interested in investing or are planning ahead to fund your retirement, your local financial advisors are solid sources for getting the information you need to make smart money decisions. We asked some nearby experts a quartet of questions about your financial future. What’s the smartest way to save in 2017? “Establish some sort of payroll deduction applied to every paycheck. The savings can be allocated to a 401(k) or 403(b) if available. If those plans are not available, most people can establish an IRA and use that as a savings vehicle.” —Jeffrey Pasche, senior vice president of investments, Raymond James and Associates, Traverse City (231) 946-3650 “Set a dollar amount as a goal and then make sure that amount comes out of every one of your paychecks. Depending on how disciplined the saver is, you can do it yourself or make a portion of your paycheck a direct deposit so it goes right into savings.” —Larry Flynn, financial advisor, Centennial Wealth Advisory, Traverse City (231) 995-9575 “Get started and invest every pay period. It’s time in the market that leads to success, not timing the market.” —Holly Gallagher, CFP, AIF, Horizon Financial, Traverse City (231) 941-6669

What are the best things to invest in, or the best ways to invest, this year? “We are experiencing the so–called “Trump rally”; the stock market is hitting new highs nearly every day. Certain sectors of the stock market are likely to have more of a tailwind than others this year, namely infrastructure, defense and to some extent technology.” —Pasche “Be very well diversified – don’t have all your eggs in one basket. Make sure they’re in many baskets. Choose different equities/ stocks and then choose a fair amount of diversity within those stocks. Pick some large and some small companies and both domestic and foreign companies.” —Flynn “Using baseball as an analogy, you are looking to hit a single, a double and not strike out. Your goal should not be to hit a home run with every investment. Like baseball, investments don’t work that way. Also, what are you trying to accomplish? Know the answer to that before you invest money.” —Gallagher What’s one investment you’d avoid this year? “I would avoid longer maturity bonds. We may be at the outset of a period where interest rates rise for a prolonged time. If that occurs, bonds will perform poorly, and the longer maturity bonds will be the worst performers.” —Pasche “Many of us [financial advisors] are cautious of long–duration bonds right now because we’re getting into a market of rising interest rates.” —Flynn

12 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

Holly Gallagher

Larry Flynn

“Avoid reacting to news and hype about the markets, politics or disturbing headlines. I’ve been in the industry 25 years, and this too shall pass. There are always opportunities to invest, always! When the stock market is down, we still get up and use several products – we brush our teeth, wash our hair, eat breakfast and put gas in our cars. When the market is down 10–20 percent, you are getting those quality companies at a discount.” —Gallagher What’s your top tip for folks planning their retirements? “I’d advise people to assume a modest return on their investments and to aggressively save for retirement. If we experience a robust return in the markets, it will only result in a bigger nest egg. It’s best to overshoot your retirement savings goals.” —Pasche

Jeffrey K. Pasche

“Know how much income you want to have in your retirement, then set a goal to put aside enough to achieve that and stick to that goal. Don’t put your head in the sand and forget about your retirement – make sure you’re planning ahead for it.” —Flynn “Have a written plan and test it. It’s worth a few hours of your time and paying a one–time disclosed fee to have a CFP who specializes in retirement planning test your plan before you retire.” —Gallagher NOTE: We reached out to more than 15 local financial advisors; most could not share advice for this article due to company regulations. Neither Northern Express nor Kristi Kates is acting as a financial advisor – the content of this article is for general information and entertainment purposes only. Before making any financial or investment decisions, we recommend you contact a professional.

BE SAVVY WITH YOUR MONEY Top Investing Tips for 2017

12 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

Holly Gallagher

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MAXIMUM MICROBREWS! Don t Miss the 2017 Brew-Ski Fest

By Kristi Kates

98…299…300! Think you can try ‘em all? That’s how many brews you’ll have to sample before you can say you’ve hit the max at this year’s annual Brew-Ski Festival at Boyne Highlands Resort in Harbor Springs.

BIG DAYS Brew-Ski is welcoming 80 different breweries from around the country this year as brewmasters, beer fans and skiers get together to celebrate the slopes and sip from 300 unique beers. “This is the eighth annual event, with the first Brew-Ski having launched in 2010,” explained Erin Ernst, director of communications at Boyne. “The concept originally started out of a desire to attract skiers and snowboarders during an otherwise not very busy time in March.” The fun starts Fri., Mar. 10, as guests arrive and register; by 9pm, the kickoff party and tap takeover with Shorts Brewery and New Holland Brewing will be underway, offering pub food and a cash bar as Boyne celebrates the art of craft beer in the Zoo Bar, with live entertainment by The Chris Calleja Band. Saturday is Brew-Ski’s big day, when you can hit both the slopes and the snow bars to sample brews from around the country right alongside food truck eats from Happy’s Tacos, Littleman Bites and Pigs Eatin’ Ribs plus Boyne’s own grill serving up brats and burgers next to the ski hill. TUNES AND BREWS More music is also on the way throughout the weekend, compliments of the Galactic

Sherpas. In addition, Metro Rockaway will play from 5:30–9pm for the post party in the Zoo Bar, confirmed Michael Wilson, Boyne Highlands’ director of food and beverage. After 9pm, join your fellow beer aficionados at the After-After Party, also in the Zoo Bar, with more rockin’ tunes from Union Guns. But about those brews…This year’s lineup includes frothy offerings from our own state, including Arbor Brewing Co. in Ann Arbor, Keeweenaw Brewing in Houghton and North Peak and Right Brain both from Traverse City. From further away, beers are coming from Alaska (Alaskan Brewing Co.), San Francisco (Anchor Brewing Co.), Pennsylvania (Victory Brewing Co.), New Hampshire (Red Hook Brewery), Chicago (Goose Island Beer Co.), Colorado (Avery Brewing, Boulder Beer and Breckenridge Brewery), Montana (Big Sky

14 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

Brewery) and Salt Lake City (Epic Brewing Co.), among others. VIVA VARIETY With so many breweries popping up all over the state and beyond, how does Boyne choose who gets to participate in Brew-Ski? “The only criteria we have is that the brewery needs to distribute through a state-recognized distributor and have a packaged product,” explained Wilson. “The selection process is the most time-consuming part. I sit with each distributor to discuss current trends in the beer world and new offerings that are available. We really strive for variety, especially with current trends such as gluten-free and dessert beers.” A brand new Brew-Ski feature this year – the Rare Beer Tent – will offer unique and difficult to acquire brews for more

courageous palates. “We’re really excited about this,” Wilson said. “We will be tapping a ‘rare’ or one-off brew at the top of each hour, and tastings are first come, first serve. These are beers that are only produced once a year and aren’t sold in stores.” Want to stay for both days of Brew-Ski? Boyne can arrange that, as well. “We’re offering a special event package with overnight hotel lodging, a commemorative gift, five drink tickets, breakfast and a lift ticket starting at $198 per person, per night,” Ernst said. The 2017 Brew-Ski Festival will take place at Boyne Highlands in Harbor Springs Mar. 10–11. For more information on Brew-Ski or to make reservations, visit boyne.com or call (866) 759-3530.

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MUSICAL FUN,

Made in Michigan! By Kristi Kates

It’s not merely a fundraiser – it’s a FUNdraiser, one that Gopherwood regulars call “the best show of the year.” It’s Gopherwood Concerts’ annual Made in Michigan variety show event in Cadillac, where the stage fills up with an eclectic mix of music and the ticket box fills up with funds for two worthy causes. A percentage of this year’s proceeds will go to a local charity, the Oasis Family Resource Center, whose primary purpose “is to provide shelter to victims of domestic violence and their children,” Gopherwood’s organizer Paul Brown said. The remainder of the fundraiser is set to benefit Gopherwood itself by helping the Cadillac concert series improve its infrastructure, which includes adding new sound and lighting equipment so it can present the best shows possible. “The fundraisers, which we started about eight years ago, also help us maintain a healthy fund balance in the event that we lose money on any of the shows,” said Brown. Gopherwood’s strong musical lineups usually present a pretty good buffer against that happening. The series traditionally welcomes a range of folk, blues, Americana and occasionally pop-rock acts that stretch genre boundaries and often arrive with their own fan base, whether local or regional. The Made in Michigan fundraiser is no exception. The round-robin lineup of performers for the 2017 event includes Zak Bunce, a local favorite with powerful vocals who’s been playing music “since before I could grow facial hair”; Roger Brown, a unique Americana songwriter who works in the

folk, country and blues genres; and beloved local favorite Tiyi Schippers, who will be at the event with her husband, multiinstrumentalist David Bunce. Schippers will bring along some special guests to add to the FUNdraiser lineup. Also appearing will be Frank Youngman, whose musical roots range from folk to country with band credits including Jive at Five and The Pretty Shaky String Band; Barry Lempe, another local favorite who’s worked with the bands Lake Effect and Mulligan Stew; and stringed instrument expert Gary Vanhouten. In addition to the music, the event will feature a silent auction with items including golf for four at Crystal Mountain, a pastel painting by local artist Joyce Petrakovitz, CDs and swag from past Gopherwood performer Chris Buhalis, maple syrup from local providers and a hand-crafted bark and twig mirror from craftsman Dwight Brown, just to name a few. “The quality of the silent auction items has increased… and proven to be very popular,” Brown said. The combination of entertainment and the chance to leave with a worthy souvenir has helped these yearly Made in Michigan FUNdraisers become a success, as Gopherwood continues this year’s roster and prepares for another great season in 2018. Gopherwood’s Made in Michigan Fundraiser will take place Sat., Mar. 11, at 8pm at the Cadillac Elks Lodge, 122 S. Mitchell St., in Cadillac. Advance tickets are $12/adults $6/students available at Toy Town and the After 26 Depot Cafe in downtown Cadillac, at mynorthtickets.com or at (800) 836-0717. For more information on the Gopherwood Concerts series, visit gopherwoodconcerts.org.

231-439-1119 and 231-439-1124 3890 Charlevoix Avenue, Suite 360 Petoskey, MI 49770 Information is accurate as of date of printing and is subject to change without notice. Wells Fargo Home Mortgage is a division of Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. © 2014 Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. All rights reserved. NMLSR ID 399801. AS3009679 Expires 03/2017

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Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 15

PAUL SUTHERLAND IS OUT TO CHANGE THE WORLD By Patrick Sullivan When you look at the vast list of projects that comprise Paul Sutherland’s life, they might at first appear to be all over the place, the product of a manic mind that can’t stay in one place. There’s FIM Group, the Traverse Citybased money managing firm Sutherland started decades ago that’s grown into a financial giant; there’s Yen Yoga, the upscale fitness studio on Front Street; there’s the Utopia Foundation, a nonprofit organization that looks for ways to help people who are struggling, particularly children in Africa; there’s Spirituality & Health magazine, a national publication about mind and body; and there’s TEDx Traverse City, an annual speakers series that Sutherland brought to northern Michigan. This list doesn’t include the many other less notable happenings in Sutherland’s life – the speeches around the world, the children’s books he’s written for kids in Africa or his seat on the board of directors of Gaiam, the yoga products manufacturer. But there really is a common theme among it all, said Sara Harding, who’s worked for Sutherland for a dozen years. Sutherland makes lots of money, and he uses it to do good in the world. “He’s such an anomaly in such a good way. FIM Group, he’s been doing that for over 30 years. He started that on his own out in Suttons Bay and has grown it to manage over 800 million in assets,” Harding said. “That’s been a vehicle for him to do more good. He’s great and super talented at investment management, but he wanted to do more.” 7,563 MILES AWAY What makes Sutherland’s accomplishments even more remarkable is that, for the past 18 months, he’s been doing it all from his home in Kampala, Uganda. “When he speaks, he lives what he speaks. He’s not just helping somebody else. He’s living his values,” said Alison Arnold, a Utopia Foundation board member. “If you look at the values that drive him, it’s always going to be helping children and families.” Harding agreed. “He’s down to earth. He’s definitely not your typical money manager or what Hollywood has portrayed in movies,” she said. “It’s just not his way. He’s got an amazing spirit and he always wants to do the right thing, even if that means taking the high road, always making sure that at the end of the day, we did the right thing.” Sutherland and his family are in Uganda to adopt a child. It’s a lengthy process. He was involved in Africa before through nonprofits and micro-lending, but actually living on the continent has shown him the dilemma of charity there. “I thought I knew a lot about development and poverty, but after being here for over a year, I really was full of it, the assumptions I made,” Sutherland said in a Skype interview with Northern Express. “Now you can see

how such boneheaded, well-intentioned giving just absolutely causes dependency and has negative consequences; you can see it everywhere you look in the developing world.” Being on the ground has given Sutherland a glimpse of what works and what doesn’t. He wants to create jobs, for example, because that’s a sustainable way to contribute to Ugandan society, but he doesn’t necessarily want to create jobs for men. “In large swaths of the developing world, if a mother has a job, the children go to school and everything sort of works out,” he said. “If the man has a job, it doesn’t matter. He just gets drunk. But if a woman has a job, it can make a big difference.” On the day of his interview with Express, Sutherland had just met with two Ugandans who want to start a toy company. “We were looking at wood toys today, and I gave them 150,000 shillings (approximately $50). I had to fly to Los Angeles for a board meeting, and I said, ‘When I get back, let’s see what you got,’” he said. The would-be entrepreneurs were going to cut a 20-foot eucalyptus tree into blocks to make into toys. “Hopefully we can start a business and sell stuff in Uganda and throughout Africa and then maybe in the United States and Europe,” Sutherland said. A HISTORY OF HELPING CHILDREN Arnold believes Sutherland’s passion for working for the common good was instilled in him in his childhood – his mother is a feminist, and his father was a committed educator who was among the first to work for Head Start, the federal program that offers support for children under five from low-income families. “They were brought up with these discussions at the dinner table about the importance of providing support for families,” Arnold said. Indeed, Sutherland is one of a group of siblings notable around Traverse City for their accomplishments – brother Bob created and owns Cherry Republic, Matt and his wife Victoria publish Foreword Reviews magazine, Tim is a tennis guru and Mike owns The River recreation outfitter. Paul Sutherland agreed that his parents inspired his worldview. “My dad taught us that you do the right thing because it’s the right thing. You should just do the right thing, not because your dad tells you to do that,” he said. “That was embedded in me when we were young; that was how we were raised, my brothers and I.” He said his upbringing caused him to lead what he considers a spiritual life marked by constantly trying to do things to improve the world. Sutherland graduated from Glen Lake Schools and then from Lake Superior State University in Sault Ste. Marie, and he took his values into the working world when he resolved to make a living in finance but didn’t want to move to New York or Chicago.

16 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

Paul Sutherland on a trip to Haiti.

“I really don’t think it was an evolutionary process,” Sutherland said of how he’s strived to incorporate his values into his working life. “I really think that’s just the way I am. I never wanted to profit from companies that sell pornography or alcohol or tobacco products or do bad things. That’s probably a core value for my life.” He said that, thankfully, he’s discovered it’s profitable to let his values guide his investment decisions. He believes companies that are trying to make the world a better place are good companies to invest in. “The Bible says, as you sow, so shall you reap, and you know the law of karma, and every religion has the golden rule…I do think that having values makes sense from an investing point of view,” he said. MEMORY FROM AN ORPHANAGE Sutherland said he’s always been interested in child welfare. He thinks about

it a lot, about all the children in Africa, for example, who don’t have parents. “I was thinking about this the other day,” he said. “You know, there are 120 million orphans in the world. In Uganda, the adult to child ratio is bigger than in any other country. So you’ve got tons of children with nobody to parent them. You just have lots of orphans. Or you’ll meet a man who has 54 kids.” His concern for orphans goes back to when he was a kid, before his family moved to Leelanau County, when his dad worked at the Methodist Children’s Village, an orphanage in metro Detroit. One day, Sutherland and the other kids were playing basketball when Sutherland said, “Dad, can you throw me the ball?” A young boy walked up to Sutherland’s dad and said, “You have children? Why can’t you take me? Can’t you put me in your house? You have him; why don’t you take me?”

Paul Sutherland, his wife Amy, and their three boys, Patrick, William and Henry.

Sutherland recalled, “He was an orphan, and my dad looked at him and said, ‘I have children, and your place is here.’ Thinking back, that must have been the toughest thing for my dad to say.” The experienced forced Sutherland to consider what it would be like to be a child and not have a mother and father. NYAKA AIDS ORPHAN PROJECT You can draw a line between that experience and what Sutherland is doing in Africa today. Just one example: Sutherland met a Ugandan named Jackson Kaguri years ago when Kaguri worked for Michigan State University. That led to Utopia Foundation helping to facilitate Kaguri’s Nyaka AIDS Orphans Project, which seeks to solve a problem caused by the AIDs crisis – in Kaguri’s community, most of the adults have died of

AIDs, leaving untold numbers of children parentless. It’s a community of young and old; the people in between are gone. When Kaguri returned to Uganda, the elders of the town recruited him to build an orphanage. Kaguri refused. “Since he had gone away and been educated, they begged him to come and build an orphanage,” Arnold said. “He said, ‘No, but I will build a school. And we will raise these children as a community.’ So he kind of raised this idea of foster grandmothers. Now there are 600 grannies in the community raising children.” Sutherland said Kaguri would be a better subject for an article than he would. “In a very, very rural part of Uganda, he has built private schools where children can go and get a decent education by teachers who care about them, with a real curriculum and real buildings and a lot of pride,” Sutherland said. “What he’s done, which I think is really remarkable and in some ways it’s common sense, is enlisted these grandmothers to take these orphans, and nothing’s better than living with your grandmother.” The grandmothers need money in order to live and feed the children, so Utopia Foundation helps them find ways to raise funds through making crafts.

SPIRITUALITY AND HEALTH It’s odd, when you think about it, that a magazine like Spirituality & Health is published in Traverse City. Just one more random and amazing thing, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with the town. “We don’t publish anything local, and we don’t have a high concentration of subscribers here in Traverse City – most of our subscribers are in New York, California, the East and West Coasts and then we’ve got some pockets in Arizona and Colorado,” Harding said. The magazine, which is published from offices on Front Street, landed here because Sutherland was a fan and learned it was in trouble. “He was a subscriber, and he got a note that they weren’t going to be sending out subscriptions anymore, so he called,” Harding said. “He really loved the magazine. He was like, ‘Hey, what’s going on?’ He got to the right people and went to New York and ended up purchasing it.” Nowadays the publication has more Traverse City subscribers because the magazine is included with memberships to Yen.

Harding said Spirituality & Health might not seem related to the other pieces of Sutherland’s machine, but it’s in the same spirit. “He wants to change people’s consciousness,” she said. “With the magazine, we can do that through content. With Yen Yoga, we can do that through people coming in and practicing and dedicating themselves to living healthier lives. With Utopia Foundation, we can do that with our projects, and then again with hosting TEDx on a yearly basis. That’s our goal – to help people change their consciousness and think a little differently. Hopefully that will start to trickle out into the world and make an impact.” TED COMES TO TRAVERSE CITY Sutherland hoped to change consciousness among people in his hometown when he and Harding approached Northwestern Michigan College (NMC) President Tim Nelson in 2010 about bringing TEDx to Traverse City. It wasn’t hard to sell the idea to Nelson. He had attended the first TED Conference in 1984 when he worked in information technology for Michigan Tech and wanted to bring the TED spirit to NMC. “For a couple of years, I held what I’d call non-meetings,” Nelson said. “I said, ‘You know, we don’t spend enough time just thinking.’ Everyone comes to meetings and we’re trying to solve a problem. There’s no homework. There are no pre-assignments.” He’d get his staff together, feed them, show them a video of a TED talk, and they’d have a discussion. Sutherland didn’t get very far into his pitch before Nelson agreed to involve NMC. “It was serendipity,” Nelson said. “I don’t know how he ended up here [at NMC]. He could have come to me because of the facilities we have. Somebody he knows, I suppose, could have said, ‘Tim’s interested in this.’ But he didn’t get more than three or four minutes into his discussion before I said, ‘I’m in.’” Sutherland wanted to bring TEDx to Traverse City because he’d attended the main TED conference and saw how it brought people together who otherwise wouldn’t connect. He saw value in that for his hometown. “I look at Traverse City. We have a lot of creative people, but they’re living in silos, so we don’t really get to meet all those creative goofballs out there,” Sutherland said. Now TEDx has become a hot ticket that sells out almost instantly and is simulcast at the State Theatre. “I think it’s worked; we’ve gotten some pretty good feedback on it,” he said. “It sells out like crazy. Your brain tingles. It really is a re-charge.” Sutherland has backed away from TEDx in recent years because he’s been away; he missed the last two and he’ll miss the next one. “Now it’s got a life of its own. I make suggestions on speakers, and stuff like that, but, you know, I’ve been out of the country,” he said. “It’s working with Sara and her team and Tim. They’ve got a great team. They’ve got a great board that helps choreograph the speakers. And what’s nice is that every year, everyone always says this one was better than last year.” Meanwhile, Sutherland plans to come back to Traverse City, hopefully by fall in time for the school year. Living in Uganda has given Sutherland a new appreciation of northern Michigan. “I wish I could have every American come over here for a month and just see – they would think they’re on Mars. Nothing is the same,” he said.

Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 17

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18 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

NORTHERN SEEN 1 Keelen McNulty, Meri McNulty, Matt Bulloch, Kelly Bulloch, Kecia Brick, and BJ Brick pose as they enter the Great Lakes Children’s Museum’s 2017 A-Ha! fundraiser.

2 Dian Dakins, Kelly Heck, and Lisa Gillespie shared a laugh at Nub’s during Business After Hours. 3 Marsha Szymanski, Devon McPherson, Michelle Poortvliet, Dena Cummings, and Tiffany Deliz get the most out of the Romancing the Riesling event on Old Mission Peninsula. 4 Georgia Abbott and Holli Custer show off their ski wear at Nub’s Nob during a Chamber Business After Hours event. 5 Sherri and Ken Schoenberg of Americscape Inc. connecting with their friends at Nub’s Nob in Harbor Springs. 6 Lindsey Jonkhoff-Rogers, Chris Rogers, Justin Ronayne, and Mindy Ronayne pose at the recent Great Lakes Children’s Museum event. 7 Tiffany Lenau hangin’ with the Lite 96 Team of Diane Shannon Hansell, and Nancy Richmond-Gruca at Odawa Casino in Petoskey. 8 Edward Jones’ Tamara Stevens and Tim Knapp during Business After Hours at Nub’s Nob. 9 Trillium Salon & Spa was well represented during Connecting Women in Business by Katie Martin, Amanda Warner, and Sasha Rosenthal in Petoskey.

Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 19

EXPERIENCE INTERLOCHEN

mar 04

saturday

march

7TH ANNUAL TC RESTAURANT WEEK: Downtown TC. Through March 4. Participating restaurants will offer three course meals for $30/person. Reservations encouraged. downtowntc.com INTO THE WILD: GT Resort & Spa, Acme. A big game hunting exposition, auction, & banquet presented by the Northeast MI Chapter of Safari Club International. nemisci.com

04-12 send your dates to: events@traverseticker.com

KALKASKA WINTERFEST: 8am, Kalkaska. Michigan’s Premier Sprint Sled Dog Race. kalkaskawinterfest.org MARDI GRAS ON THE MOUNTAIN: Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. Today includes Sunrise Yoga, It’s All Downhiller Alpine Race, New Belgium Ski Scavenger Hunt, Stylin’ on the Slopes Costume Contest, Mardi Gras Rail Jam, & much more. crystalmountain.com/ events/mardi-gras-on-the-mountain THE SLUSH CUP: 9am-4pm, Schuss Mtn., Shanty Creek Resorts, Bellaire. Skiers & riders attempt to cross an icy 60’ pond. Other events include a frozen fish toss, snow shovel racing & a seal slide. shantycreek.com/event/slush-cup AUTHORS’ LUNCHEON: 11:30am-2pm, Cadillac Grill, Cadillac. Sponsored by Friends of the Cadillac Library. Featuring authors Lisa Gigliotti, Janice Broyles & Shenandoah Chefalo. $20. 231-510-9047. BEARD OF ZEUS FAT BIKE RACE: 12pm, Timber Ridge Resort, TC. A flat, fast circuit at Timber Ridge Resort, TC. 90 minute & 45 minute races. shortsbrewingfatbikeseries.com/ beardofzeusfatbikerace 11TH ANNUAL SUDS & SNOW: 1-6pm, Timber Ridge Resort, TC. Includes a 1/2 mile hike through the backwoods of Timber Ridge Resort where there will be two live music stages featuring local musicians, 20 + craft breweries serving beer, wine, & cider, and local food vendors. Musicians include Jesse Ray & The Carolina Catfish, Hannah Rose & The Gravestones, & Tell Yo Mama. General admission tickets: $25, includes 2 drink tokens. sudsandsnowtc.com ALICE IN WONDERLAND: 2pm & 7:30pm, Former InsideOut Gallery, 229 Garland St., TC. Parallel 45 Theatre will perform the imaginative stage version of Alice in Wonderland made famous by Andre Gregory and the Manhattan Project. Tickets, $20. parallel45.org

March 7 Jessica Lang Dance Contemporary ballet

BOB JAMES AND NANCY STAGNITTA: 2:30pm & 7:30pm, Dendrinos Chapel & Recital Hall, Interlochen Center for the Arts. Launch of “In the Chapel in the Moonlight”. $32 full, $10 youth. tickets.interlochen.org “CTAC AFTER DARK” : 6:30-9:30pm, CTAC Theater, Petoskey. With Hot Club of Detroit, a jazz ensemble specializing in the Gypsy jazz sound made famous by 1930s guitarist Django Reinhardt. Tickets: $40 CTAC members; $50 non-members. 21 & up event. crookedtree.org

800.681.5920

proceeds from their show to help Polestar LGBT + Community Center launch itself as a new non-profit. tcpolestar.org HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: March 3-12. Area restaurants offer breakfast & lunch specials for $15, & dinner specials for $25 & $35. harborspringsarea.com

mar 05

sunday

KALKASKA WINTERFEST: 8am, Kalkaska. Michigan’s Premier Sprint Sled Dog Race. kalkaskawinterfest.org

ALICE IN WONDERLAND: 2pm, Former InsideOut Gallery, 229 Garland St., TC. Parallel 45 Theatre will perform the imaginative stage version of Alice in Wonderland made famous by Andre Gregory and the Manhattan Project. Tickets, $20. parallel45.org SHREK THE MUSICAL: 2pm, TC West Senior High School, TC. Tickets start at $12. mynorthtickets.com

THE ANCIENT ORDER OF HIBERNIANS 20TH ANNUAL IRISH PARTY: 7pm, Knights of Columbus Hall, Gaylord. Music by Jerry Belanger & Doug Berkshire of The Pub Runners, & The Irish Dance Club of Lansing will demonstrate traditional Irish dance. Tickets, $15. 989-939-7245.

SIXTH ANNUAL PURE A CAPPELLA FESTIVAL: 4pm, Milliken Auditorium, Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. A talented mix of entertainment will feature Grand Traverse Show Chorus, Trillium Singers, TC Sings, Sashay Quartet, NMC Grand Traverse Chorale, NMC Chamber Singers, Choral Fusion, & The Cherry Capital Men’s Chorus. Proceeds benefit a local children’s choir with scholarships. Tickets, $13. mynorthtickets.com/events/pure-acappella-festival-iv

LAUGH FOR A GOOD CAUSE! COMEDY SHOW: 8pm, The Parlor, TC. Falling Down Stairs Productions has offered to donate

MANISTEE CIVIC PLAYERS AUDITIONS: 7pm, River Street Artisan’s Gallery, Manistee. For “Almost, Maine,” a real romantic comedy.

SHREK THE MUSICAL: 7pm, TC West Senior High School, TC. Tickets start at $12. mynorthtickets.com

tickets.interlochen.org

Wear your green on Sat., March 11 for the Leapin’ Leprechaun 5K! Starting at 9am in TC’s Warehouse District, & followed by a post-race party at The Workshop Brewing Co. Afterwards head to the 39th Annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade hosted by the TC Ancient Order of Hibernians, starting & ending at Kilkenny’s, TC. Pre-parade festivities at 11am; parade at 2pm; & post-parade entertainment at 3pm with The Wild Sully’s, Song of the Lakes & Blue Footed Booby.

20 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

Looking to cast 4-19 women & men, ages 16 & up. 231-723-7188. HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: March 3-12. Area restaurants offer breakfast & lunch specials for $15, & dinner specials for $25 & $35. harborspringsarea.com

mar 06

monday

“IS AMERICA IN RETREAT?”: 6pm, The State Theatre, TC. See this nonpartisan documentary before it airs on public television. A filmmaker panel will follow. Presented by the International Affairs Forum to benefit Academic WorldQuest. Free. stateandbijou.org “GMO? OMG!”: 7pm, Traverse Area District Library, TC. Join the GT Humanists for a talk on what genetically modified organisms are. 231-392-1215. MANISTEE CIVIC PLAYERS AUDITIONS : 7pm, River Street Artisan’s Gallery, Manistee. For “Almost, Maine,” a real romantic comedy. Looking to cast 4-19 women & men, ages 16 & up. 231-723-7188. HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: March 3-12. Area restaurants offer breakfast & lunch specials for $15, & dinner specials for $25 & $35. harborspringsarea.com

mar 07

tuesday

PEEPERS PROGRAM: SKUNK SURPRISE: 1011:30am, Boardman River Nature Center, TC. Presented by the GT Conservation

District. For ages 3-5. Featuring stories, crafts, music & discovery activities. $5 per child. Register. natureiscalling.org/learn/pre-kprograms/peepers LIVING ON: LOSS OF SPOUSE: 12pm, Hospice of Michigan office, 10850 E. Traverse Hwy., Ste. 1155, TC. 929-1557. DARK & STORMCLOUDY FILM & BEER SERIES: “The Brand New Testament” will be shown at the Garden Theater, downtown Frankfort at 4:30pm. Admission is $7, plus each movie ticket purchaser receives a $5 Stormcloud Brewing Co. token. March’s beer is Ea & The Goddess. Beer is not served inside The Garden Theater. The March Beer Dinner will be held at 6:30pm at Stormcloud Brewing Co., pairing Belgian and French cuisine. www.stormcloudbrewing.com AAUW PROGRAM: 5:30pm, Bethlehem Lutheran Church, TC. Kathryn Gray, FNP will talk about Soaring Unlimited, a nonprofit group whose goal is to build a Birthing Center in Haiti, at the American Association of University Women program. traversecityarea-mi.aauw.net “UKES FOR YOU! LEARN TO PLAY THE UKULELE”: 10am, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Petoskey. Jim Gillespie will help you learn to play the baritone ukulele. Learn easy folk songs & some old 60’s tunes – you’ll even learn to strum & sing at the same time! Free. crookedtree.org TASTE OF GAYLORD: 5:30-8pm, Treetops Convention Center, Gaylord. Featuring delights from the area’s finest Chamber Member restaurants. The theme of this year’s event is “Classic Hollywood”. Includes live entertainment, a Silent Auction to benefit the Leadership Otsego County Program, beer & wine tasting, Red Carpet Photo-booth & more. Tickets: $30, available at Gaylord Area Chamber of Commerce. 989-732-6333. HOT PLANTS FOR 2017: 6-8:30pm, Botanic Garden Visitor Center, Historic Barns Park, TC. With Heidi Grasman. Presented by The Master Gardener Association. Free. Free will donations appreciated. Register. eventbrite.com LIVING WELL WITH PARKINSON’S: 6pm, MCHC, room A & B, TC. Presented by Parkinson’s Network North & MSU. Learn about new treatments & latest research that can positively affect all lifestyles, from Dr. Tim Collier from MSU Human Medicine. Free. 947-7389. JESSICA LANG DANCE: 7:30pm, Corson Auditorium, Interlochen Center for the Arts. All seats, $30. tickets.interlochen.org HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: March 3-12. Area restaurants offer breakfast & lunch specials for $15, & dinner specials for $25 & $35. harborspringsarea.com

mar 08

wednesday

GT BAY AREA STROKE CLUB MEETING: 2:30-4:30pm, The Presbyterian Church, 701 Westminster Rd., TC. “Community Accessibility” will be discussed. Featuring Disability Network Executive Director Jim Moore. munsonhealthcare.org/strokeclub “SUCCESSFUL TREE & SHRUB PLANTING”: 6-8pm, Homestead Township Hall, Honor. Sustaining your forest, wildlife & landscape. Hosted by Benzie Conservation District. Pre-register: 231-882-4391; aime@ benziecd.org. TCNEW TECH MEETUP: 6pm, City Opera House, TC. cityoperahouse.org/tcnewtech

ALICE IN WONDERLAND: 7:30pm, Former InsideOut Gallery, 229 Garland St., TC. Parallel 45 Theatre will perform the imaginative stage version of Alice in Wonderland made famous by Andre Gregory & the Manhattan Project. Tickets, $20. parallel45.org HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: March 3-12. Area restaurants offer breakfast & lunch specials for $15, & dinner specials for $25 & $35. harborspringsarea.com

mar 09

thursday

“TASTES BETTER WITH LESS SUGAR” COOKING DEMO: 5:15pm, John & Marnie Demmer Wellness Pavilion & Dialysis Center of McLaren Northern Michigan, Petoskey. Presented by McLaren Northern Michigan. Free. Register: www.mclaren.org/ northernmichigan. LEELANAU BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5:30pm, Dick’s Pour House, Lake Leelanau. GT WILD ONES MEETING & PRESENTATION ON BUGS!: 6:30pm, Boardman River Nature Center, TC. Free. 231-357-0911. “LEGALLY BLONDE”: 7pm, Cadillac High School. Tickets: $10 adults, $5 students; on sale now at Brinks Custom Framing, CAPS Central Office, Cadillac High School, and Cadillac Junior High School. Also for sale at the door. Find ‘CHS Music Department presents Legally Blonde the musical’ on Facebook.

is not served inside The Garden Theater. stormcloudbrewing.com

daily, the sacred & the ordinary. Tickets start at $24. dennosmuseum.org

HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: March 3-12. Area restaurants offer breakfast & lunch specials for $15, & dinner specials for $25 & $35. harborspringsarea.com

ONE-MAN STAR WARS TRILOGY: 8pm, City Opera House, TC. Canadian actor & uber geek Charles Ross brings his solo madcap creation to the stage. Tickets start at $17.50. cityoperahouse.org/one-man-star-wars-trilogy

mar 10

friday

2017 HOME BUILDERS ASSOCIATION OF NORTHERN MI HOME SHOW: All Day, NCMC, Petoskey. Showcases more than 100 display booths. KIDS’ FESTIVAL WEEKEND: Boyne Mountain, Boyne Falls, March 10-12. Featuring a Zipline Adventure Tour, Spaghetti Dinner with Fritz, horse drawn wagon rides, coloring contest, Family Fun Village Party, inflatable obstacle course, bounce house, rock wall & Extreme Dual Air Jumpers, Kids’ Silly Slalom Race, Egg Race & much more. For a schedule, visit: boyne.com/boynemountain 8TH ANNUAL BREW-SKI FESTIVAL: 3pm, Boyne Highlands Resort, Harbor Springs. Bringing together snow, craft beers & entertainment. Featuring representatives from more than 80 breweries who will share their enthusiasm about more than 300 brews. boyne.com/boynehighlands/events/ brewski-festival THE KINGSLEY FRIENDS OF THE LIBRARY BOOK SALE: 5-8pm, Kinglsey Branch of the Traverse Area District Library. $5 early sale entry fee. tadl.org/kingsley

ADHD SUPPORT GROUP: 7pm, Thirlby Room, Traverse Area District Library, TC. Hosted by Spot On Skills ADHD Counseling. For parents of children struggling with ADHD or ADHD symptoms.

SPRING CARNIVAL: 6pm, Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. Today includes the Cardboard Sled Building Workshop & Cardboard Classic Registration. crystalmountain.com/events/ spring-fling

HERE:SAY STORYTELLING: HOUSE OF CARDS: 7pm, The State Theatre, TC. Donations from this popup storytelling show will benefit Safe Harbor. Free. stateandbijou. org/movies/heresay-storytelling-house-cards

“LEGALLY BLONDE”: 7pm, Cadillac High School. Tickets: $10 adults, $5 students; on sale now at Brinks Custom Framing, CAPS Central Office, Cadillac High School, and Cadillac Junior High School. Also for sale at the door. Find ‘CHS Music Department presents Legally Blonde the musical’ on Facebook.

THE ART OF: BECOMING: 7pm, Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. The next generation finds its foothold. Featuring two documentaries about high school students navigating various paths through life. Includes the world premiere of a locally produced short documentary about TBAISD Career-Tech Center students and how they found their way to the Career-Tech Center. This documentary will be followed by “The Bad Kids”. Free. dennosmuseum.org/events/films.html WIPE YOUR FEET! FUNDRAISER: 7-9pm, Lake Charlevoix Brewing. Wipe Your Feet! Fundraiser Leadership Charlevoix County is raising funds to install boot brush stations to help prevent the spread of invasive species throughout Charlevoix County. $10 all you can eat buffet. Percentage of the sales will go to this project. 231.582.7211 or stephanieo@ northmicpa.com leadershipcharlevoixcounty.org ALICE IN WONDERLAND: 7:30pm, Former InsideOut Gallery, 229 Garland St., TC. Parallel 45 Theatre will perform the imaginative stage version of Alice in Wonderland made famous by Andre Gregory & the Manhattan Project. Tickets, $20. parallel45.org DARK & STORMCLOUDY FILM & BEER SERIES: “The Brand New Testament” will be shown at the Garden Theater, downtown Frankfort at 7:30pm. Admission is $7, plus each movie ticket purchaser receives a $5 Stormcloud Brewing Co. token. March’s beer is Ea & The Goddess. Beer

COMMUNITY DANCE: 7-9:30pm, East Jordan Civic Center Gym. Presented by the Jordan Valley All-Stars Band. $10. SHREK THE MUSICAL: 7pm, TC West Senior High School, TC. Tickets start at $12. mynorthtickets.com “THE MOUSETRAP”: 7:30pm, Old Town Playhouse, TC. Tickets start at $15. mynorthtickets.com ALICE IN WONDERLAND: 7:30pm, Former InsideOut Gallery, 229 Garland St., TC. Parallel 45 Theatre will perform the imaginative stage version of Alice in Wonderland made famous by Andre Gregory and the Manhattan Project. Tickets, $20. parallel45.org THE ANNETTE BASLER MEMORIAL CONCERT: 7:30pm, Corson Auditorium, Interlochen Center for the Arts. Performed by the Interlochen Arts Academy Band. Presented by the Interlochen Area Chamber of Commerce. All proceeds from ticket sales benefit the Annette Basler Scholarship Fund. Adults, $10; youth & seniors, $7. 231-2767141 or tickets.interlochen.org. CARRIE NEWCOMER: 8pm, Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. Carrie’s music explores the intersection of the spiritual & the

“PRINCESSES & VILLAINS ON ICE”: 7pm, Centre ICE Arena, TC. Presented by the TC Figure Skating Club. Dress as your favorite villain or princess & get your picture taken with the cast. General admission, $17. mynorthtickets.com HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: March 3-12. Area restaurants offer breakfast & lunch specials for $15, & dinner specials for $25 & $35. harborspringsarea.com

mar 11

saturday

2017 HOME BUILDERS ASSOCIATION OF NORTHERN MI HOME SHOW: All Day, NCMC, Petoskey. Showcases more than 100 display booths.

SPRING CARNIVAL: Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. Today includes Family Bootcamp, Cardboard Classic Creative Sled Contest, Cardboard Classic Race, DJ Dance Party & BBQ, Slush Cup, Free Slopeside Concert featuring Brena, & much more. crystalmountain.com/events/spring-fling KIDS’ FESTIVAL WEEKEND: (See Fri., March 10) LEAPIN’ LEPRECHAUN 5K: 9am, TC’s Warehouse District. Wear your green! Postrace party at The Workshop Brewing Co., TC. runsignup.com/Race/MI/TraverseCity/ LeapinLeprechaun5K NWS’ BATTLE OF THE BOOKS: 9am, NMC, TC. Student teams that have read 10 preselected books will answer questions about them in this all-day, triple-round competition. Four semi-finalist teams will emerge from the competition & compete in a semi-final & final battle on March 19 at the City Opera House, TC. battleofthebooksgt.com THE KINGSLEY FRIENDS OF THE LIBRARY BOOK SALE: 9am-2pm, Kingsley Branch of the Traverse Area District Library. Bag sale starts at 11am. Fill a bag for $5. tadl.org/kingsley “THE 2016 JILL STEIN PRESIDENTIAL RECOUNT & THE FUTURE OF MI ELECTIONS”: 9:30am, Minerva’s, Park Place Hotel, TC. Presented by Attorney Mark Brewer. Free. 929-0437. POWER OF THE PURSE: 9:30am-12pm, City Opera House, TC. A fundraiser to benefit the women & families who stay at the Goodwill Inn. Featuring a brunch, silent auction, live music & stories of success. $40. goodwillnmi. org/2017/01/power-of-the-purse ACHILLES TENDONITIS & PLANTAR FASCIITIS WORKSHOP: 10-11:30am, Superior Physical Therapy, TC. Registration required: 231-944-6541 or www. thesuperiortherapy.com/footworkshop. Free. ARTS IN ACTION: 10am-1pm, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. With Kaye Krapohl. Featuring “With the wind in your sails” program. greatlakeskids.org HEAD BANKED SLALOM: 11am, Nub’s Nob, Harbor Springs. A unique bank to bank course down Birch Run. For all ages & abilities with an emphasis on fun. $10 entry fee. nubsnob.com

Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 21

Fresh flavors The Village

8TH ANNUAL BREW-SKI FESTIVAL: 12pm, Boyne Highlands, Harbor Springs. Bringing together snow, craft beers & entertainment. Featuring representatives from more than 80 breweries who will share their enthusiasm about more than 300 brews. boyne.com/ boynehighlands FREE ARTS & CRAFTS DAY: 12-3pm, Gaylord Area Council for the Arts, Gaylord. Featuring art journaling for school age children. gacaevents.weebly.com “AFTERNOON WITH THE OWLS”: 1-3pm, Boardman River Nature Center, TC. $10 adults, $5 children 10 & younger. Featuring The Wildlife Recovery Network. natureiscalling.org/event/ afternoon-with-the-owls

Trattoria Stella

The Village at Grand Traverse Commons: History, music, food and wine, with quaint Traverse City-original boutiques.

SHOP Locally-owned stores with unique products and excellent service.

TASTE

Now Open: Red Spire Brunch House Saturday

Farmers Market

Now Open: Earthen Ales

Pepenero & Ballaró Wine Lounge

Some of the best foodie stops in Traverse City: fine food, coffee, bread, sweets, award-winning local wines and local craft beer.

EXPLORE Beautiful parks and hiking trails, and guided historic tours of Traverse City’s largest historic property: click to www.thevillagetc.com/tours!

Music at Left Foot Charley Live Music Mondays & Fridays 6-9pm

Indoor Farmers Market Every Saturday 10am–2pm!

Just over one mile from Downtown Traverse City: W. 11th St. at Cottageview Dr. , 2 blocks West of Division/US31 Visit thevillagetc.com or call The Minervini Group: 231-941-1900 V I L L A G E R E TA I L , F O O D & B E V E R A G E E S TA B L I S H M E N T S B50 The Village Store - 231.938.6150 Christmastide - 231.645.6469 Cuppa Joe Cafe - 231.947.7730 Earthen Ales - 231.252.4270 Elf - eat·learn·frolic - 231.715.1730 Fridrich Furs - 231.421.1738 High Five Threads - 231.384.0408 Higher Grounds Trading Co. - 877.825.2262 Joice Salon - 231.933.9897 Landmark Books - 231.922.7225 Left Foot Charley Winery - 231.995.0500 Notably Natural - 231.929.1100 M Salon & Spa - 231.943.1422

Mi Farm Market / Underground Cheesecake 866.544.1088 PepeNero & Ballaró - 231.929.1960 Pleasanton Bakery - 231.941.1964 Premier Floral Design - 231.947.1167 Raven’s Nest – 231.360.9658 Red Spire Brunch House- 231.252.4648 Sanctuary Handmade Goods - 231.932.0775 Silver Fox Jewelry - 231.935.1701 Spanglish Cafe - 231.943.1453 To Have & To Hold Bridal - 231.922.9333 Trattoria Stella - 231.929.8989 Vintage Du Jour - 231.943.2222

22 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

39TH ANNUAL TC ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE: Hosted by the TC Ancient Order of Hibernians. Starts & ends at Kilkenny’s, TC. Pre-parade festivities begin at 11am. The parade begins at 2pm & follows along Front. St. to State St. & again through Downtown TC along Front St., returning to Kilkenny’s. Postparade entertainment begins at 3pm with The Wild Sully’s, Song of the Lakes & Blue Footed Booby. 231-883-5625. ALICE IN WONDERLAND: 2pm & 7:30pm, Former InsideOut Gallery, 229 Garland St., TC. Parallel 45 Theatre will perform the imaginative stage version of Alice in Wonderland made famous by Andre Gregory and the Manhattan Project. Tickets, $20. parallel45.org “LEGALLY BLONDE”: 3pm & 7pm, Cadillac High School. Tickets: $10 adults, $5 students; on sale now at Brinks Custom Framing, CAPS Central Office, Cadillac High School, and Cadillac Junior High School. Also for sale at the door. Find ‘CHS Music Department presents Legally Blonde the musical’ on Facebook. TYPEWRITER 101: BUYING A TYPEWRITER: 3pm, Landmark Books, TC. Free. 922-7225. FRONTIER QUEST 300 4-H CLUB FREE SPAGHETTI DINNER & SILENT AUCTION: 5-8pm, Interlochen Eagles Club #3503, Interlochen. Fundraiser for a Chicago science trip & Picture Rocks summer camping trip. OWL PROWL: 5:45-7:45pm, Pigeon River Country Discovery Center, Gaylord. Kids can dissect an owl pellet & make a craft item. Walk on a trail & listen for owls. RSVP: 989983-4101.

GOPHERWOOD’S 5TH ANNUAL MADE IN MICHIGAN FUNDRAISER: 8pm, third floor of Elks building, Cadillac. Featuring musicians Frank Youngman, Zak Bunce, Roger Brown, Barry Lempe, Gary VanHouten, Tiyi Schippers, & David Bunce. Advance tickets: $12 adults, $6 students 13-18, & free for 12 & under. Door: $15, $7. 1-800-836-0717. mynorthtickets.com

ong

GOOD ON PAPER IMPROV SHOW: 10pm, The GT Circuit, TC. Cost, $10. gtcircuit.org/ calendar.htm

BREA IMPAC A no-i senior regain trainin March

“PRINCESSES & VILLAINS ON ICE”: 11:30am & 4:30pm, Centre ICE Arena, TC. Presented by the TC Figure Skating Club. Dress as your favorite villain or princess & get your picture taken with the cast. General admission, $17. mynorthtickets.com CARDBOARD CLASSIC: Schuss Mountain, Shanty Creek Resorts, Bellaire: 9am-2pm. Make your own sled from only cardboard, tape & glue & race down Schuss Mountain. Registration runs from 9-11am in Ivan’s Cafe. Judging of sleds is at 11:30am slopeside, outside Ivan’s. Races, noon. shantycreek.com HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: March 3-12. Area restaurants offer breakfast & lunch specials for $15, & dinner specials for $25 & $35. harborspringsarea.com

mar 12

sunday

KIDS’ FESTIVAL WEEKEND: (See Fri., March 10)

“THE MOUSETRAP”: 2pm, Old Town Playhouse, TC. Tickets start at $15. mynorthtickets.com ALICE IN WONDERLAND: 2pm, Former InsideOut Gallery, 229 Garland St., TC. Parallel 45 Theatre will perform the imaginative stage version of Alice in Wonderland made famous by Andre Gregory and the Manhattan Project. Tickets, $20. parallel45.org

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BUCKETS OF RAIN BENEFIT: Featuring Mike Sullivan performing from 4-6pm at the Acoustic Tap Room, TC. Tickets, $10. Through the construction of urban gardens on abandoned city lots, Buckets of Rain diminishes urban blight, rekindles hope in struggling neighborhoods, brings fresh vegetables into the neighborhoods, & feeds the homeless through partners. bucketsofrain.org

KIDS MOVIE NIGHT: 7:30pm, Aspen Room or Alpine Room, Treetops Resort, Gaylord. Tonight will feature “Open Season”. Free. treetops.com

EATIN Family March Haan net wi eviden impac Nutriti Barna Respo food c

SHREK THE MUSICAL: 2pm, TC West Senior High School, TC. mynorthtickets.com

BACK PORCH COFFEEHOUSE: 7pm, Charlevoix Senior Center. Featuring Two Track Mind. Musical influences include rock, folk, country, bluegrass & Americana. A circle jam will follow. $10 donation suggested. 231-622-2944.

“THE MOUSETRAP”: 7:30pm, Old Town Playhouse, TC. Tickets start at $15. mynorthtickets.com

DEBT NEW room 6:30-7 Meetin info, c

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THE BAY FILM SERIES PRESENTS “TONI ERDMANN”: 2pm & 6pm, The Bay Theatre, Suttons Bay. $9.50. thebaytheatre.com/25/bayfilm-series

SHREK THE MUSICAL: 7pm, TC West Senior High School, TC. Tickets start at $12. mynorthtickets.com

CTAC Upper Cente June 9

DARK & STORMCLOUDY FILM & BEER SERIES: “The Brand New Testament” will be shown at the Garden Theater, downtown Frankfort at 2pm. Admission is $7, plus each movie ticket purchaser receives a $5 Stormcloud Brewing Co. token. March’s beer is Ea & The Goddess. Beer is not served inside The Garden Theater. stormcloudbrewing.com

PLANTING CONTAINERS W/ JEANINE RUBERT: 6-8:30pm, Botanic Garden Visitor Center, Historic Barns Park, TC. Free will donations appreciated. Register. eventbrite.com

BAYSIDE TRAVELLERS CONTRA DANCE: Twin Lakes – Gilbert Lodge, TC. 7pm: Contradance lesson for beginners. 8-11pm: Contra & square dancing. $11 adult, $7 student, $9 member. dancetc.com

ADUL (ACA) Bethle who s having adultc

FULL MOON FEAST + SHOW & TELL: SAP MOON: 6pm, Martha Wagbo Farm & Education Center, East Jordan. Enjoy a potluck feast & an open mic for stories, poems, songs, dance, etc. Free. RSVP: 231-536-0333. JIGJAM: 7pm, Historic Elk Rapids Town Hall. This quartet blends bluegrass & Irish folk music. Tickets: $20 advance, $25 door. jigjam. brownpapertickets.com

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BREATH & BALANCE - A ZERO IMPACT AIKIDO: The GT Circuit, TC. A no-impact, safe class for adults/ seniors, focusing on maintaining and regaining balance, breathing exercises, & training with a partner. Held on Tuesdays, March 7 - April 25 at 10am. innerpathdojo.com

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ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS (ACA): Thursdays, 5:30-7pm, basement of Bethlehem Lutheran Church, TC. For those who seek to address the residual effects of having been raised in dysfunctional household. adultchildren.org

CTAC ARTISANS & FARMERS MARKET: Upper Level Carnegie, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Petoskey. Fridays, 10am-1pm through June 9. crookedtree.org DEBTORS ANONYMOUS (NEW LOCATION, NEW TIME): Cowell Cancer Center (Munson), room B031, Sixth & Madison streets, TC. 6:30-7:30pm on Tuesdays. 12-Step Recovery Meeting for those with money issues. More info, call John P at (973) 476-7384. EATING RIGHT FOR CANCER: Cowell Family Cancer Center, TC. Six Wednesdays, March 1 - April 12, 5:30-7pm. Contact Emily Haan at 231.392.8492 or ehaan2@mhc. net with questions and to RSVP. Features evidence-based information on the dramatic impact food has on cancer risk & survival. Nutrition education on video with Dr. Neal Barnard, found of Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine. Learn how plant-based food choices can help you survive.

com for application. Or email mplfmedia@ gmail.com. ART HISTORY TALK: Crooked Tree Arts Center, TC. Fridays at noon through March 17. Each week will cover a decade of the 1800’s. $5 suggested donation. crookedtree.org/event/ art-history-talk ARTFUL AFTERNOONS: Gaylord Area Council for the Arts, Gaylord. Every Weds. at 1pm through April 26. Free. gacaevents. weebly.com BLACK & WHITE WITH A LITTLE RED EXHIBIT: Gaylord Area Council for the Arts, Gaylord. Through March 4. gacaevents. weebly.com CALL FOR STUDENT ARTISTS: Higher Art Gallery, TC. Now accepting submissions for “Emerging Artist, Under 24 Exhibit”. All local artists ages 17-24 are encouraged to apply to be in this juried exhibit, & have the opportunity to show & sell in a gallery. To apply visit: www. higherartgallery.com. Deadline to apply is March 20. higherartgallery.com CROOKED TREE PHOTOGRAPHIC SOCIETY EXHIBIT: Crooked Tree Arts Center, Atrium Gallery, Petoskey. Runs through March 17. Featuring diverse digital works from more than 30 members. crookedtree.org OAC SPRING EXHIBITION: Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. An exhibit of artwork by Mary Fortuna, Janelle Songer and Jessica Kovan. Runs through April 7. There will also be an artist panel discussion on Sun., March 5 at 1pm. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

FREE COMMUNITY CLASS: Bikram Yoga, 845 S. Garfield Ave., TC. Every Weds. at 7:30pm. bikramyogatcgr.com

THROUGH THE WINDOW, ALL MEDIA: Three Pines Studio, Cross Village. Through March. www.threepinesstudio.com

ICESKATING GAMES: Harbor Springs Sk8 Park/Ice Rink. Saturdays through March 11, 1-3pm. Find ‘Harbor Springs Sk8 Park’ on Facebook.

TINKER, TAILOR, WELDER, WEAVER: THE ART OF ASSEMBLAGE: Crooked Tree Arts Center, Bonfield Gallery, Petoskey. Runs through March 23. crookedtree.org

SECULAR A.A.: Thursdays, 5:30pm; Fridays, 7pm. The Porch, TC. secularaainmichigan.org SNOWSHOE HIKE: Meet at the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore’s Philip A. Hart Visitor Center, Empire every Sat. through March 11 at 1pm. facebook.com/sbdnl SNOWSHOE, WINE & BREW: Sundays through March 5, Old Mission Peninsula, 10:40am-noon. Park at Jolly Pumpkin to board the TC Brew Bus & start your trek. $20. tcbrewbus.com/events

art

2017 JURIED PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBITION: Crooked Tree Arts Center, Gilbert Gallery, Petoskey. Runs through March 23. Juried by renowned photographer Howard Bond. Includes works selected from 140 submissions. crookedtree.org

Mon -

Ladies Night - $1 off drinks & $5 martinis closing at 9pm

Tues - $2 well drinks & shots open mic w/ host Chris Sterr

Wed - Get it in the can for $1 w/ 2 Bays DJs Thurs - MI beer night $1 off all MI beer

STROBELITE

Fri March 10:

Happy Hour: Wink Then: Flux Capacitor Sat March 11: FLUX CAPACITOR Sun March 12:

KARAOKE (10PM-2AM)

Prevention is so much better than healing because it saves the labor of being sick.

Keli Macintosh RN, CNC, DN 231-946-3872 Call for a personal consultation

941-1930 downtown TC check us out at unionstreetstationtc.net

A Tuition-Free Public Elementary School Serving Families In Leelanau County & the Grand Traverse Area Empowering The Whole Child For Life!

Open Enrollment is March 13th thru the 31st

Open House- March 16th 5:30 - 7:00 pm Or call to schedule a tour and learn more about Leelanau Montessori

231.271.8609 leelanaumontessori.org

310 South Elm, Suttons Bay, MI 49682

WESTBAYBEACHRESORTTRAVERSECITY.COM

615 EAST FRONT STREET | TRAVERSE CITY, MI 49686

NORTHWESTERN MICHIGAN BESTSELLERS For the week ending 2/2617

HARDCOVER FICTION

A is for Activist by Innosanto Nagara Triangle Square $9.99 A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles Viking $27.00 Hag-Seed by Margaret Atwood Hogarth $25.00

PAPERBACK FICTION

It Can’t Happen Here by Sinclair Lewis Signet Classic $9.99 Orphan’s Tale by Pam Jenoff Mira $15.99 Murder on Old Mission by Stephen Lewis Mission Point Press $14.95

HARDCOVER NON-FICTION

6TH ANNUAL GRAND TRAVERSE ART BOMB: Right Brain Brewery, TC. Through March 25. Artists of all media in & from the GT region will display & sell their work commission-free. Closing Reception on March 25. Featuring live music & performance art. facebook.com/GrandTraverseArtBomb

A Guy Like Me by John Scott Howard Books $26.99 Book of Joy by Dalai Lama & Desmond Tutu Avery $26.00 Sale of a Lifetime by Harry S. Dent, Jr. Portfolio $26.00

ART COMPETITION - WINE LABEL DESIGN NEEDED: Deadline for art entry is March 10! Attention artists: Design a wine bottle label for the Mission Point Lighthouse fundraiser. Support Mission Point Lighthouse Friends nonprofit - preserve the lighthouse. Winner will have their design on the label for the 2nd Annual Lighthouse Wine Fundraiser. Go to events at www.missionpointlighthouse.

PAPERBACK NON-FICTION

How Thin the Veil by Jack Kerhoff Mission Point Press $16.95 Trails of M-22 by Jim Dufresne Michigan Trail Maps $19.95 Why I March by Abrams Books Harry N. Abrams $14.95

Compiled by Horizon Books: Traverse City, Petoskey, Cadillac

H E AT U P W I T H O U R

Events all

Winter! JAZZ every Thursday BLUES every Friday BUILD YOUR OWN BLOODY MARY BAR every Sunday starting at Noon

FRIDAY FISH FRY

4-9pm • $14.95 all you can eat

PRIME RIB SATURDAY

Dinner 4-9pm • 12oz $16.95 or 16oz $20.95 Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 23

E IN oor of ans own, ippers, ults, . Door: s.com

ongoing

pm, org/

C. b. & eral

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KEND:

2pm, C.

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$5 beer is nside g.com

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FREE COMMUNITY CLASS: Bikram Yoga, 845 S. Garfield Ave., TC. Every Weds. at 7:30pm. bikramyogatcgr.com

THROUGH THE WINDOW, ALL MEDIA: Three Pines Studio, Cross Village. Through March. www.threepinesstudio.com

ICESKATING GAMES: Harbor Springs Sk8 Park/Ice Rink. Saturdays through March 11, 1-3pm. Find ‘Harbor Springs Sk8 Park’ on Facebook.

TINKER, TAILOR, WELDER, WEAVER: THE ART OF ASSEMBLAGE: Crooked Tree Arts Center, Bonfield Gallery, Petoskey. Runs through March 23. crookedtree.org

art

Mon -

Ladies Night - $1 off drinks & $5 martinis closing at 9pm

Tues - $2 well drinks & shots open mic w/ host Chris Sterr

Wed - Get it in the can for $1 w/ 2 Bays DJs Thurs - MI beer night $1 off all MI beer

STROBELITE

Fri March 10:

Happy Hour: Wink Then: Flux Capacitor Sat March 11: FLUX CAPACITOR Sun March 12:

KARAOKE (10PM-2AM)

Prevention is so much better than healing because it saves the labor of being sick.

Keli Macintosh RN, CNC, DN 231-946-3872 Call for a personal consultation

941-1930 downtown TC check us out at unionstreetstationtc.net

A Tuition-Free Public Elementary School Serving Families In Leelanau County & the Grand Traverse Area Empowering The Whole Child For Life!

Open Enrollment is March 13th thru the 31st

Open House- March 16th 5:30 - 7:00 pm Or call to schedule a tour and learn more about Leelanau Montessori

231.271.8609 leelanaumontessori.org

310 South Elm, Suttons Bay, MI 49682

WESTBAYBEACHRESORTTRAVERSECITY.COM

615 EAST FRONT STREET | TRAVERSE CITY, MI 49686

NORTHWESTERN MICHIGAN BESTSELLERS For the week ending 2/2617

HARDCOVER FICTION

A is for Activist by Innosanto Nagara Triangle Square $9.99 A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles Viking $27.00 Hag-Seed by Margaret Atwood Hogarth $25.00

PAPERBACK FICTION

It Can’t Happen Here by Sinclair Lewis Signet Classic $9.99 Orphan’s Tale by Pam Jenoff Mira $15.99 Murder on Old Mission by Stephen Lewis Mission Point Press $14.95

HARDCOVER NON-FICTION

A Guy Like Me by John Scott Howard Books $26.99 Book of Joy by Dalai Lama & Desmond Tutu Avery $26.00 Sale of a Lifetime by Harry S. Dent, Jr. Portfolio $26.00

PAPERBACK NON-FICTION

How Thin the Veil by Jack Kerhoff Mission Point Press $16.95 Trails of M-22 by Jim Dufresne Michigan Trail Maps $19.95 Why I March by Abrams Books Harry N. Abrams $14.95

Compiled by Horizon Books: Traverse City, Petoskey, Cadillac

H E AT U P W I T H O U R

Events all

Winter! JAZZ every Thursday BLUES every Friday BUILD YOUR OWN BLOODY MARY BAR every Sunday starting at Noon

FRIDAY FISH FRY

4-9pm • $14.95 all you can eat

PRIME RIB SATURDAY

Dinner 4-9pm • 12oz $16.95 or 16oz $20.95 Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 23

For Traverse City area news and events, visit TraverseTicker.com

FOURSCORE by kristi kates

Little Big Town – “The Breaker” – Capitol Nashville

It’s not a jawbreaker candy, nor the kind of breaker that arrives during a windy day on the lake; Little Big Town’s latest is about the things that break a person, from relationships ending to being overworked at a job. Produced by Jay Joyce, the album is a thoughtful and thought-provoking set that gives a nod to the band’s supportive fans and family. First single “Better Man” written by Taylor Swift does lean slightly toward the band’s previous, more pop-focused effort, but otherwise this is definitely a country set from the Alabama quartet.

Rhiannon Giddens – “Freedom Highway” – Nonesuch

Digging deep into historical stories of the oppressed, Giddens’ latest is by turns direct and poetically deceptive. With one song, she sets the scenario directly on the line right in front of you (“Julie”); with the next, she camouflages parts of the tale beneath incongruous melodies only to reveal the (often sadly stunning) punch line when you least expect it (“Love We Almost Had”). This is by no means a casual Sunday afternoon listen, nor an easy one, but it’s well crafted, ambitious, and most definitely timely.

Tedeschi Trucks Band – “Live from the Fox Oakland” – Fantasy Records

PRESENTS

Pre-St.Patrick's Day Party!

Late last year, Tedeschi Trucks Band put on a performance that many of its fans call its best to date. Fortunately for all, that show was committed to an album recorded in top-notch style with great and expansive sound mixing and a solid setlist that includes favorites like “Just as Strange,” “You Ain’t Going Nowhere,” “Leavin’ Trunk” and “Don’t Know What It Means.” The superfans among you will appreciate the bonuses with this album, most notably a concert film with extra tunes not included on the audio tracklisting.

SATURDAY MARCH 11, 2017 Green Beer & Drink Specials Hats, Beads, Corned Beef & Cabbage Reuben Sandwich & more

" Green " Blue Fo o ted Bo o by

Party All Night!

221 E State St

•

statestreetgrilletc.com • 231-947-4263

24 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

Josh Turner – “Deep South” – MCA Nashville Singer Turner has long been able to blend traditional countrywestern sounds with a modern twist. He continues that approach on his sixth album, which he says represents “the simpler things in life.” The tunes and lyrics here are pretty simple and for the most part not particularly impressive, but they still reflect Turner’s aim, from the Southern sweet tea and fried chicken mentioned in one track to the faith-based musings in another. The set includes his current chart-climbing single “Hometown Girl” as well as the South Carolina-seasoned songs “All About You,” “Beach Bums” and “Never Had a Reason.”

MODERN

ROCKIN’ THE BUTTERMILK JAMBOREE Many of the details for the 2017 Buttermilk Jamboree have just been announced, with the regional music fest turning up the volume on a full list of Michigan-based acts (and a few imports) alongside national headliners. Topping the roster are The Slambovian Circus of Dreams, Red Sea Pedestrians and The Mainstays plus sets from northern Michigan faves like May Erlewine, The Moxie Strings, Jill Jack, K. Jones and the Benzie Playboys and Dede and the Dreamers. Also at Buttermilk, you’ll find workshops, yoga, craft brews and wine, craft vendors, art, poetry readings and plenty more; the Front Porch stage has also been expanded this year with the addition of a tent, chairs and couches to give it a “coffeehouse” feel. Buttermilk Jamboree 2017 will run June 16–18 at the Circle Pines Center in Denton, Mich., between Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo; learn more at buttermilkjamboree.org. In other Michigan festival news, the Faster Horses country music fest is returning for 2017 in Brooklyn, Mich., with an impressive lineup of country-western celebs including Luke Bryan, Dierks Bentley, Darius Rucker (Hootie and the Blowfish), Brett Eldridge, Cole Swindell and Miranda Lambert. Faster Horses is celebrating its

ROCK BY KRISTI KATES

fifth anniversary this year and will take the form of a three-day camping festival July 21– 23; you can get ticket information and all the details at fasterhorsesfestival.com. Nas’ long-awaited TV drama series Street Dreams finally seems to be getting the goahead from the BET television network, with director Jonathan Levine on board to write and direct the pilot. Nas won’t appear in Street Dreams but will instead serve as the show’s producer and originator; his goal is to make the show, set in the early ‘90s, “100 percent authentic.” He will contribute music to the series, but a premiere date for the show has yet to be announced. Cold War Kids’ sixth studio album, L.A. Divine, is now set to arrive on Capitol Records the first week of April; this will be the band’s followup to its 2014 set Hold My Home, which included Cold War Kids’ biggest single to date, the track “First.” Prior to the album’s release, the band will be on tour throughout the month of March with stops in Chicago Mar. 18 at the Riviera Theater and in Detroit Mar. 21 at St. Andrews Hall; also keep your ears open for the new album’s first single, “Love Is Mystical,” which began showing up on regional radio last week. Modern Rock Link of the Week: Spoon is promoting a brand new black

and white music video for its track “Can I Sit Next to You.” The video was directed by Marcel Dzama and captures the recklessness of teenage life. Check it out on YouTube at https://youtu.be/6_yJYNF_Qas. You can also take a little road trip to Columbus, Ohio, to hear the band in concert May 11. Mini Buzz: Ska legend The English Beat is heading to Ferndale for a show at The Magic Bag Fri., Mar. 17, complete with opening act 1592. Detroit rapper MotorKam (previously known as MotorCityKam) has just released a new album called Blackdaddy: Greatest Hits, which he’ll reportedly be promoting with a series of local and national shows. The band The Pixies is playing an all-ages show in Detroit at the Fillmore next fall, with the already-in-demand tickets on sale now

A Whole New Life Bariatric procedures are not for everyone. People qualify for weight loss surgery only if it is the best choice for their health, and they demonstrate the required commitment, motivation, education, and medical history. Munson Medical Center’s nationally accredited program provides long-term support and thorough follow-up care. To learn more, join us for a free, informational seminar. “Six months after surgery, I met my goal. I literally cried the day I put my CPAP machine away. I was so, so happy. This surgery saved my life. My back pain and knee pain are gone. The last time I weighed 150 pounds, I was in the fourth grade. This is the healthiest I’ve ever been.” - Veronica Ramos, 47

“Veronica is successful because she is following all of the necessary steps to achieve and maintain good health. I am proud of her and excited about the great results she’s getting.” - Michael A. Nizzi, DO Grand Traverse Surgery PC

Bariatric Surgery Seminars Tuesday, March 14 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center Conference Room 1-3, Lower Level Charlevoix: Munson Healthcare Charlevoix Hospital via video conference Gaylord: Otsego Memorial Hospital via video conference Grayling: Munson Healthcare Grayling Hospital via video conference Manistee: West Shore Medical Center via video conference Tuesday, April 11 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center; also available via video conference in Cadillac, Charlevoix, Gaylord, Grayling, and Manistee To learn more or to register for an upcoming seminar, call 800-533-5520, or visit munsonhealthcare.org/bariatrics.

for the Oct. 6, 2017, show date; most of The Pixies’ 2018 tour is already sold out. Hip-hop performer J. Cole has just announced a huge world tour in support of his newest album, 4 Your Eyez Only, that will include a stop at Detroit’s Palace of Auburn Hills July 23. Finally, Motown’s Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, just announced she will formally retire from music (with the exception of the occasional special live performance) after releasing one more album; she’s said to be working on the album, which she calls a “love letter to Detroit,” with the equally legendary Stevie Wonder…And that’s the buzz for this week’s Modern Rock. Comments, questions, rants, raves, suggestions on this column? Send ‘em to Kristi at modernrocker@gmail.com.

DOWNTOWN

SuN 5:45 PM MoN 1 PM TuE 6 PM WED 3:30 PM THu 11:30 AM

TRAVERSE CITY

SuN 12:45 • 3:15 • 8:30 PM

MoN 3:30 • 8:30 PM TuE 1 • 3:30 • 8:30 PM WED 1 • 6 • 8:30 PM THu 2 • 4:15 AM

•••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••

IS AMERICA IN RETREAT?NR

MON 6 PM - FREE Premiere Event with Filmmakers Presented by the International Affairs Forum

THE TENDER TRAPNR

WED 10:30 AM - Two Bright Lights Month - 25¢ Matinee

HERE:SAy SToRyTEllINg PRESENTS HouSE of CARDSNR THU 7 PM - FREE to Benefit Safe Harbor

DOWNTOWN

IN CLINCH PARK

SuN & MoN 2:30 • 5 • 7:30 PM TuE-THu 1:30 • 4 • 6:30 • 9 PM 231-947-4800

Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 25

nitelife

march 4 - March 12 edited by jamie kauffold

Send Nitelife to: events@traverseticker.com

Manistee, Wexford & Missaukee

CADILLAC SANDS RESORT SANDBAR NITECLUB: Fri -- Karaoke/line dancing, Phattrax DJs, 8:30

Sat -- Dance videos, Phattrax DJs, 8:30

LITTLE RIVER CASINO RESORT, MANISTEE 3/11 -- 38 Special - SOLD OUT!, 8

Grand Traverse & Kalkaska ACOUSTIC TAP ROOM, TC 3/4 -- Zeke, 7-9 3/7 -- Open & un-mic'd w/ Ben Johnson, 7-9 3/10 -- Andre Villoch, 7-9 3/11 -- Dennis Palmer, 7-10 FANTASY'S, GRAWN Adult Entertainment w/ DJ GT RESORT, ACME GRAND LOBBY: 3/10 -- John Pomeroy, 7-11 3/11 -- Blake Elliott, 7-11 HAYLOFT INN, TC Thu -- Open mic night by Roundup Radio Show, 8 Fri-Sat through March -- The Cow Puppies HORIZON BOOKS, TC 3/10 -- Tim & Jodi Klueck, 8:30-10:30 HOTEL INDIGO, TC 3/4 -- Robin Lee Berry & Glenn Wolff, 7:30-10:30 3/10 -- Brandon Everest & Friends, 7:30-10:30 3/11 -- Miriam Pico & David Chown, 7:30-11:30 LEFT FOOT CHARLEY, TC Mon -- Open mic w/ Blake Elliott, 6-9 3/10 -- Zach Power, 6-8 LITTLE BOHEMIA, TC Tue -- TC Celtic, 7-9

NORTH PEAK, TC KILKENNY'S: 3/4 -- Soul Patch, 9:30 3/6 -- MI Team Trivia, 7-9 & Toxic Trivia, 9-11 Tue -- Levi Britton, 8 Wed -- The Pocket, 8 Thu -- 2 Bays DJs, 9:30 Sun -- Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 7-9 PARK PLACE HOTEL, TC BEACON LOUNGE: Thu,Fri,Sat -- Tom Kaufmann, 8:30 RARE BIRD BREWPUB, TC 3/6 -- Open Mic Night, 8:30 3/7 -- Trivia Night, 7 3/8 -- Jeff Haas' new jam band Electric Fusion Project w/ Mando Master Don Julin, 8:30-11 SIDE TRAXX, TC Weds -- Impaired Karaoke, 10 Fri,Sat -- DJ/VJ Mike King SLEDER'S FAMILY TAVERN, TC 3/5 -- Driftwood, 4 3/12 -- The Way Down Wanderers & special guests Ghost of Paul Revere, 4 STREETERS, TC GROUND ZERO: 3/10 -- Otep w/ The Convalescence, The World Over & It's Ernie Ball's Daughter, 8 3/11 -- Kane Brown w/ Runaway June, 8

STUDIO ANATOMY, TC 3/4 -- Becoming Human, Augres, Handsome Pete, Five After Five, 8 TC WHISKEY CO. 3/8 -- Mitchell McKolay, 6-8

Jeff Haas' new jam band Electric Fusion Project featuring mando master Don Julin hits the Rare Bird Brewpub, TC on Wednesday, March 8 from 8:30-11pm. Think Electric Monk, Chick Corea & Frank Zappa plus funky originals.

THE LITTLE FLEET, TC 3/4 -- Book of Symbols, 8-10 3/11-3/12 -- Elroy Meltzer, 10-12

Leelanau & Benzie

THE WORKSHOP BREWING CO., TC 3/4 -- Brett Mitchell, 8-11 3/6 -- Open Read Poetry, 7-9 3/7 -- STRUM Ukulele Sing-ALong, 6-8 Wed -- The Workshop Live Jazz Jam, 6-10 3/10 -- Featured Local DJ, 8-11 3/11 -- Lizzie Liberty, 8 UNION STREET STATION, TC 3/4 -- One Hot Robot, 10 3/7 -- Open Mic w/ Host Chris Sterr, 10 3/8 -- 2 Bays DJs, 10 3/9 -- Strobelite, 10 3/10 -- Happy Hour w/ Wink, 5-9, then Flux Capacitor, 10 3/11 -- Flux Capacitor, 10 Sun -- Karaoke, 10 WEST BAY BEACH RESORT, TC 3/9 -- Jeff Haas Trio & Laurie Sears w/ NMC Jazz Big Band, 7-9:30

LAKE ANN BREWING CO. 3/7 -- Jim Hawley, 6:30 ST. AMBROSE CELLARS, BEULAH 3/4 -- Ben Stalets, 6-9 Thu -- Open Mic Night, 6-8 3/10 -- Feral Cats, 6-9 3/11 -- Syd Burnham, 6-10 STORMCLOUD BREWING CO., FRANKFORT 3/4 -- Evan Burgess, 8-10 3/10 -- Blake Elliott & The Robinson Affair, 8-10

BOYNE CITY TAP ROOM 3/4 -- Sean Bielby, 7-10 3/10 -- The Shifties, 7-10 3/11 -- Kellerville, 7-11 BRIDGE STREET TAP ROOM, CHARLEVOIX 3/4 -- Chris Koury, 8-11 3/5 -- Chris Calleja , 6-9 3/7 -- Sean Bielby, 7-10 3/10 -- Ben Overbeek , 8-11 3/11 -- Josh Hall, 8 3/12 -- Pete Kehoe, 6-9

CELLAR 152, ELK RAPIDS 3/4 -- Jim Moore, 7:30-9:30 3/10 -- Lizze Liberty, 7:30-9:30 3/11 -- Elizabeth Sexton Rivers & Pete Murphy, 7:30-10:30 RED MESA GRILL, BOYNE CITY 3/7 -- Bruce Lee & Me Jazz Trio, 6-9 SHORT'S BREWING CO., BELLAIRE 3/4 -- The Pistil Whips, 8:30-11 3/5 -- Battle of the Bands Week 6, 4-6:30 3/7 -- Monthly Open Mic & Community Jam, 7:30-10:30

26 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

3/9 -- Luke Winslow-King, 7:30-10 3/10 -- Ben Daniels Band, 8:30-11 3/11-3/12 -- Johnny P, 8:30-12 3/12 -- Battle of the Bands Week 7, 4-6:30 TORCH LAKE CAFE, EASTPORT Wed -- Dueling Pianos, 8:30 Thu -- Open Mic w/ Tim Hosper, 8:30 Fri,Sat -- Leanna Collins Trio, 8:30

LAUGHING HORSE -THOMPSONVILLE Thurs. -- Karaoke, 9

BLACK STAR FARMS - SB Third Weds. of ea. mo. -- Jazz Café w/ Mike Davis & Steve Stargardt, 7-9

LEELANAU SANDS CASINO PESHAWBESTOWN Tues. -- Polka Party, noon-4pm

CABBAGE SHED - ELBERTA Thurs. -- Open mic, 8 DICK'S POUR HOUSE - L.L. Sat. -- Karaoke, 10-2 JODI'S TANGLED ANTLER BEULAH Fri. -- Karaoke, 9-1

LUMBERJACK'S BAR & GRILL - HONOR Thurs., Fri., Sat. -- Phattrax DJs, karaoke, dance videos WESTERN AVE. GRILL - GLEN ARBOR Fri. -- Open Mic Sat. -- Karaoke

Emmet & Cheboygan CITY PARK GRILL, PETOSKEY 3/4 -- Driftwood, 10 3/7 -- DJ Shawn Peterson, 9 3/11 -- The Vermeers, 11 NORTHERN LITES, PETOSKEY 3/11 -- 3 Hearted, 10:30

Antrim & Charlevoix

BELLA FORTUNA NORTH - L.L. Fri.-Sat. -- Bocce e DeRoche, 7-10

STAFFORD'S PERRY HOTEL, PETOSKEY NOGGIN ROOM: 3/4 -- A Brighter Bloom, 8:30 3/10 -- Sweet Tooth, 8:30 3/11 -- Pete Kehoe, 8:30

UPSTAIRS LOUNGE, PETOSKEY 3/4 -- Kellerville & Crooked Chord, 10 3/11 -- Tell Yo Mama, 11 BEARDS BREWERY - PETOSKEY Weds. -- "Beards on Wax" (vinyl only night spun by DJ J2xtrubl), 8-11 DIXIE SALOON - MACKINAW CITY Thurs. -- Gene Perry, 9-1 Fri. & Sat. -- DJ

KNOT JUST A BAR - BAY HARBOR Fri. -- Chris Martin, 7-10 LEO'S TAVERN - PETOSKEY Weds. -- Karaoke Night, 10-1 Sun. -- S.I.N. w/ DJ Johnnie Walker, 9-1 OASIS TAVERN - KEWADIN Thurs. -- Bad Medicine, DJ Jesse James STAFFORD'S PIER RESTAURANT - HS Pointer Room: Thurs. - Sat. -- Carol Parker on piano

Otsego, Crawford & Central ALPINE TAVERN, GAYLORD 3/4,3/10 -- Mike Ridley, 7-10

3/11 -- A Brighter Bloom, 7-10:30

MAIN ST. MARKET & BISTRO, GAYLORD 3/4 -- Sweet Tooth, 7-9:30 3/10 -- Adam Hoppe, 7-9:30

TREETOPS RESORT, GAYLORD HUNTER'S GRILLE: 3/4 -- Theo Batzer & The Moon Surfers, 9

3/10-11 -- Kung Fu Rodeo, 9 TIMOTHY'S PUB - GAYLORD Fri.-Sat. -- Video DJ w/Larry Reichert Ent.

The reel

by meg weichman

THE GREAT WALL

“T

he Great Wall” puts forth the legend that the 5,500 miles long, 1,700 years-to-build, Great Wall of China was constructed to keep out monsters. It’s a ridiculous notion, though not necessarily a bad idea for an entertaining flick. But “The Great Wall” is monster movie where the monsters are an afterthought. It’s a war epic with no reverence. And it’s an action fantasy that fails to transport. A painfully anemic Matt Damon plays William, a 12th century mercenary whose search for the explosive black powder lands him in prison at The Great Wall. He’s a prisoner of the Nameless Order, Chinese warriors who defend the country from alien monsters known as Tao Tei. When the Tao Tei attack, the film comes alive. From the drums, cannons, catapults, and lizard-shearing blades to the battle-trained aerialists, it’s cool to see The Wall not just as an ancient wonder, but as a living, breathing fortress. But these moments of wacky wonder don’t last and we have to return to the drudgery of its West meets East propaganda. Yet thanks to its brevity and these gonzo set pieces, “The Great Wall” was not the expected complete disaster. It almost bluffed its way to becoming another forgettable but enjoyable action blockbuster. But what separates it, and what it can’t hide from, is the utter disinterest from the cast, as well as the disinterest of a U.S. audience that could see the contrived reasons behind its Chinese market driven conception all the way from space.

GET OUT The less you know about “Get Out” going in, the better. Briefly you could call it a melding of the satirical dread of “The Stepford Wives” with the uneasiness of “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner,” but it’s more than just a mashup of those two desperate genres. It touches on current events and comments on long-standing, unfortunate truths but never in a glib or unsavory way. And it’s one of those rare thrillers that leaves you breadcrumbs you won’t even realize you’ve noticed until they’re all lined up at the end – everything comes together with such a satisfying and mind-blowing brilliance. It’s smart, clever, incredibly thoughtful, funny, and even though it draws heavily from classic horror influences, manages to feel wholly original. The film’s writer and director Jordan Peele (he of the successful duo Key & Peele - see last year’s pretty ok “Keanu”) must be a walking horror film encyclopedia. Watching his directorial debut you get the sense he’s been planning this story his whole life, plucking pieces of fruit from high hanging branches and carefully arranging each in a decorative, hand-hewn bowl for maximum impact. He’s made a masterful and incredibly entertaining film about race that doesn’t shame or exploit and leaves you feeling like you better understand our great national ill better than you did going in. Which is pretty darn remarkable for a horror film. The setup is amazingly simple: Chris Washington (Daniel Kaluuya), a young black man, is about to be in introduced to his white girlfriend’s family and both parties have to navigate the strange territory that comes with that milestone. Chris is a photographer from Brooklyn and his eye is soulful and authentic. His girlfriend Rose Armitage (Allison Williams) is pretty, amiable, strong-willed but unchallenging. She’s the ideal “nice girlfriend” and it’s a perfect use of the divisive Williams. And Rose’s interest in Chris is genuine. She isn’t slumming or taking a dip in exotic waters or attempting to shock her parents. Yet she also hasn’t told her parents that Chris is black, and he isn’t so sure that’s the best idea. Rose tells him not to worry. Though she’s never had a black boyfriend, she assures him her parents (Bradley Whitford and Catherine Keener) aren’t racist. Far from it, in fact. If anything they’ll be overcompensating in their welcoming. But even though Dean and Missy are socially clumsy yet accommodating hosts, something about them doesn’t add up. For one, for all their graciousness and

talk of inclusion, a black groundskeeper and maid staff who behave like automatons, complete with forced smiles and strained but perfect speech. Chris is a smoker trying to kick the habit, and Missy, a psychiatrist, offers to help him quit through hypnosis. Chris thanks her for the offer but begs off. And just when things couldn’t get any more tense, Rose’s parents remind her that their visit home happens to coincide with an annual family party. They will soon be inundated with guests eager to meet Rose’s boyfriend. Chris is later confronted by Missy, who invites him to join her in the study. What starts off as a strained but authentic get-to-knowyou convo quickly becomes the hypnosis Chris declined earlier. In a terrific trick of audio, her rhythmic stirring of a spoon in a blue willow teacup lulls the audience. We can physically sense his surrender to her control. He’s frozen in his chair, paralyzed with tears streaming down his face, and then with three taps of the spoon Missy commands him to drop into “the sunken place.” Chris falls into himself and starts to drown in blackness, his view of the world a distant, unreachable skylight. He then bolts upright in bed, awakening from what he assumes was a nightmare. But of course it wasn’t. And with the party guests arriving via limos in an eerily formal motorcade, you know that things are about to take a strange turn. That is all I will describe of “Get Out.” To explain more would ruin the payoff of this truly remarkable film. You should know going in that this is a horror movie that chills not with blood and gore (though there is some of that) but with the weight of social awkwardness and underlying racial tension. As the weirdness piles up and the awkwardness compounds, Peele says more with a strained glance or cringing word spoken than any act of physical violence. And he nimbly injects “Get Out” with a dark sense of humor at just the right moments. “Get Out” is an allegory about identity, both personal and cultural. It’s a story of what is lost and gained from appropriation, both personal and cultural. That Peele has wrapped such a meaningful conversation into a horror-comedy goes to show how both necessary and accessible this conversation is. And in our particularly strained times, a horror movie has never felt more vital. Meg Weichman is a perma-intern at the Traverse City Film Festival and a trained film archivist.

jackie

“J

ackie” may not have exactly cleaned up Oscar nominations, but don’t let its lack of recognition convince you this exquisitely crafted-film is just a showcase for Natalie Portman’s magnificent Oscar-nominated performance as Jackie Kennedy. It’s a penetrating work of art that reveals something profoundly human about one of history’s most fashionable footnotes. Because for someone who has had so much written about her and so much of her life documented, she has largely remained an enigma. And it is this enigmatic, unknowing quality that colors this unconventional biopic’s almost otherworldly tone that occupies the hazy intersection of myth, history, and reality. The untraditional yet brilliantly structured script doesn’t check off key life event after milestone moment, but rather, like so many of the most illuminating biopics, is more narrow in scope, focusing primarily on the immediate aftermath of her husband John F. Kennedy’s assassination as she grieves, works to ensure her husband’s legacy, and comes into her own. Both familiar and strange, Chilean director Pablo Larraín, uncannily recreates the iconic imagery of November 22, 1963 and takes events and people now so mired in conspiracy and consumed by popular culture and makes it all feel anew. Mournful and ethereal, raw and real, no matter how many biographies you’ve read, after seeing “Jackie” you’ll never see her the same way again.

the space between us

ombine “The Martian” with “The Fault in Our Stars” and then take out smarts and sincerity of those movies and you’ll have an idea of what this teen romance about a boy born on Mars (Asa Butterfield) and the girl (Britt Robertson) he’s in love with on Earth has in store for you. With that outrageous premise, it won’t come as a surprise that this is the kind of film where it’s easy (and entertaining) to poke fun at all the plot holes and general ridiculousness. Yet although it is by no means a “good” movie, it is the watchable kind of bad movie. The boy’s mom was part of a team of astronauts set to colonize Mars who unexpectedly discovered enroute that she was pregnant. Flashing forward 16 years we arrive in time for Gardner’s moody teen years still living in the east Texas Mars colony. Despite his classified existence, Gardner finally gets to come to Earth (and meet Tulsa, the girl he’s been covertly chatting with online). Once on Earth he escapes NASA custody and the film morphs into a road movie with chase scenes and cloying encounters where unintentionally hilarity abounds. But even though it’s light years from getting things right, with slightly better dialogue, more coherent development, and less preposterous situations this could’ve been a winner. Because when you take away the sappiness of the romance, it’s central idea gives the audience pause to reconsider how they view Earth and the world around them, offering a strain of emotional truth that keeps you invested.

Northern Express Weekly • march 6, 2017 • 27

the ADViCE GOddESS Born Jesterday

: I’m a 27-year-old guy, and I’m not very funny. I know women like a guy with a sense of humor, so I was interested in these “Flirt Cards” with funny messages that I saw on Kickstarter. You write your number on the back and give the card to a woman you’d like to meet. Good idea or bad for breaking the ice? — Single Dude

: Using a pre-printed card to hit on the ladies makes a powerful statement: “I’m looking for a kind woman to nurse me back to masculinity.”

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28 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

Asking a woman out isn’t just a way to get a date; it’s a form of display. Consider that women look for men to show courage. (The courage to unwrap a pack of cards doesn’t count.) And mutely handing a woman some other guy’s humor on a card is actually worse than using no humor at all — save for extenuating circumstances, like if it were the Middle Ages and you’d had your tongue cut out for unseemly behavior with the earl’s livestock (again). Consider evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller’s “mating mind” hypothesis — the notion that “our minds evolved not just as survival machines, but as courtship machines.” Miller explains that the mind acts as a “fitness indicator” — a sort of advertising agency for a person’s genetic quality (among other things). Humor is a reliable (hard-to-fake) sign of genetic quality — reflecting high intelligence, creative problem-solving ability, and a lack of mutations that would handicap brain function. But it isn’t just any old humor that women find attractive. Any guy can memorize a joke. Accordingly, in a study of the pickup lines men use on women, psychologists Christopher Bale and Rory Morrison “distinguish wit (spontaneous jokes that fit the context exactly, are genuinely funny, and require intelligence) from mere humor (the pre-planned jokes and one-liners which … do not demonstrate intelligence).” Anthropologist Gil Greengross, who studies humor and laughter from an evolutionary perspective, suggests that even a guy who’s lame at humor should at least take a run at being funny: “The risk of not even trying to make women laugh may result in losing a mating opportunity.” I disagree — though only in part. If you’re unfunny, trying to force the funny is like bragging, “Hey! I’m low in social intelligence!” However, you shouldn’t let being unfunny stop you from hitting on a woman. What you

adviceamy@aol.com advicegoddess.com

can do is be spontaneously and courageously genuine. Just put yourself out there and say hello to her and acknowledge and even laugh at any awkwardness on your part. This isn’t to say you should give up entirely on using pre-printed notes. Save them for special occasions — those when your message to a woman is something like “Stay calm and put all the money in the bag.”

Meet Joe Blacklist

: My girlfriend’s father is a famous actor, and I’m on my way up. I worry that if things go wrong in our relationship, he could put a big kibosh on my career. I guess because of this, I find myself putting up with more stuff than I might normally. I wonder whether our relationship will suffer because of my secret worries about her dad. — Marked Man

: There’s doing the right thing, and then there’s doing the right thing for the right reasons. Ideally, you refrain from shoplifting because it’s wrong to steal, not because they show videos of shoplifters on the news sometimes and your nose always looks so big on security camera footage. It turns out that there are two fundamental motivations for all life-forms — from microbes to men. They are “approach” (going toward good, helpful, survival-promoting things) and “avoidance” (moving away from bad, dangerous, deadly things). Research by social psychologist Shelly Gable suggests that romantic relationships are happier when they’re driven by approach rather than avoidance motives. So, say your girlfriend asks that you put foodencrusted plates in the dishwasher instead of leaving them out for the archeologists to find. An approach motivation means doing as she asks because you’re striving for a positive outcome — like making her feel loved — instead of trying to avoid a negative one, like having your fate in showbiz patterned after that first guy in a horror movie who gets curious about the weird growling in the basement. The research suggests that you can happy up your relationship by reframing why you do things — shifting to an “I just wanna make her happy” motivation. To do that, set aside your career fears and just try to be fair — to both of you. The relationship may fizzle out. Even so, if you don’t do anything horrible to Daddy’s little girl, there’ll be no reason for him to see to it that you look back on a lifetime of iconic roles — like “White Guy With Umbrella” and “Bystander #5.”

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DOWN 1 “___ Nagila” 2 Cinema sign 3 “Dallas Buyers Club” Oscar winner Jared 4 Backup operation 5 “Fuel” performer DiFranco 6 Cuban sandwich ingredient 7 Carne ___ (burrito filler) 8 Most wise 9 Ralph’s wife on “The Honeymooners” 10 Reason to wear a hat, maybe 11 Tilted 12 Believer in a deity 15 Dulce de ___ 18 1970s heartthrob Garrett 24 “___ Time” (Sublime song) 25 Refuses to 26 “Star Wars: The Last ___” 27 Cash cache, for short 28 Singer Corinne Bailey ___ 29 It’s good to keep during an interview 34 Vowel for Plato 36 It’s represented by X 38 Mag. employees 40 Blue Pac-Man ghost 41 With 19-Across, “Spamalot” creator 42 “Superstore” actor McKinney 43 It’s not a freaking “alternative fact” 44 Ernie of the PGA Tour 48 Criticizes loudly 49 Save from disaster 51 “___ said many times ...” 52 Surrounded by standstill traffic 54 Beer barrels 57 Stoolies, in Sussex 58 Montoya who sought the six-fingered man 59 Bingham of “Baywatch” 63 “Frankenstein” helper 64 Bear whose porridge was too cold 65 “30 for 30” cable channel 68 Tightrope walker’s protection 69 Miracle-___ (garden brand)

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aSTRO

lOGY

and accessories and fine disguises, I invite you not to do so for the next two weeks. Instead, try out an unembellished, whatyou-see-is-what-you-get approach to your appearance. If, on the other hand, you don’t normally wear adornments and accessories and fine disguises, I encourage you to embrace such possibilities in a spirit of fun and enthusiasm. Now you may inquire: How can these contradictory suggestions both apply to the Pisces tribe? The answer: There’s a more sweeping mandate behind it all, namely: to tinker and experiment with the ways you present yourself . . . to play around with strategies for translating your inner depths into outer expression.

can, sneak away to a private place where you can be alone -- preferably to a comfy sanctuary where you can indulge in eccentric behavior without being seen or heard or judged. When you get there, launch into an extended session of moaning and complaining. I mean do it out loud. Wail and whine and whisper about everything that’s making you sad and puzzled and crazy. For best results, leap into the air and wave your arms. Whirl around in erratic figure-eights while drooling and messing up your hair. Breathe extra deeply. And all the while, let your pungent emotions and poignant fantasies flow freely through your wild heart. Keep on going until you find the relief that lies on the other side.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): ): “I’ve always

NEW LISTING! LISTING!

belonged to what isn’t where I am and to what I could never be,” wrote Portuguese writer Fernando Pessoa (1888-1935). That was his prerogative, of course. Or maybe it was a fervent desire of his, and it came true. I bring his perspective to your attention, Taurus, because I believe your mandate is just the opposite, at least for the next few weeks: You must belong to what is where you are. You must belong to what you will always be.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Nothing is ever as

simple as it may seem. The bad times always harbor opportunities. The good times inevitably have a caveat. According to my astrological analysis, you’ll prove the latter truth in the coming weeks. On one hand, you will be closer than you’ve been in many moons to your ultimate sources of meaning and motivation. On the other hand, you sure as hell had better take advantage of this good fortune. You can’t afford to be shy about claiming the rewards and accepting the responsibilities that come with the opportunities.

CANCER June 21-July 22): Seek intimacy

120 feet of private frontage on all sports Spider Lake. Largest part of Spider Lake, sunshine on Woodsy setting beautifulbottom. view of Duck Lakecon& the westthe beach all with day,a sandy Quality erly sunsets. Shared Duck Lake frontage within a very short struction, perfectly maintained. Open floor plan w/ soaring vaulted pine ceiling w/ a wall of winwalking distance at the end of the road. Large wrap-around dows looking out to the lake. Floor-to-ceiling, natural Michigan stone, wood burning fireplace multi-level decks in the spacious yard that backs up to a creek. w/ Heatilator bookcases in 2separate area of living room for cozy reading center. Open floor plan.vents. MasterBuilt with in cozy reading area, closets, slider Finished family room w/ woodstove. Detached garage has complete studio, kitchen, workshop, out to deck. molding kitchen Hickoryrestaurants, chic Maple condo incrown popular ChelseainPark close&tohall. shopping, downtown TC but without the city 1&Updated ½bamboo baths & its own deck. 2 docks, large deck on main patio, lakeside deck, bon-fire pit flooring in main level floor bedrooms. Built incolors. armoire & house, taxes. Corner unit, top floor, open plan, modern Vaulted ceiling in master bd, wide window ledge, &dresser multiple sets of stairs. Extensively landscaped w/ plants & flowers conducive to all for thegatherwildlife 2nd bedroom. panelLarge doors.balcony Finished chair rail,inmassive walk-in6closet. offfamily diningroom room.inPets are welcome. New clubhouse that the MLS#1798048 area. (1791482) $570,000. walk-out lower level. $220,000. ings surrounds w/ exercise facilities. Wooded common areas. (1827690) $198,900.

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30 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly

BY ROB BREZSNY

PIScES (Feb. 19-March 20): If you normally wear adornments

ARIES (March 21-April 19): As soon as you

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MARCH 6 - MARCH 12

with experiences that are dewy and slippery and succulent. Make sure you get more than your fair share of swirling feelings and flowing sensations, cascading streams and misty rain, arousing drinks and sumptuous sauces, warm baths and purifying saunas, skin moisturizers and lustrous massages, the milk of human kindness and the buttery release of deep sex -- and maybe even a sensational do-it-yourself baptism that frees you from at least some of your regrets. Don’t stay thirsty, my undulating friend. Quench your need to be very, very wet. Gush and spill. Be gushed and spilled on.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): Would you like to live to the age of 99? If so, experiences and realizations that arrive in the coming weeks could be important in that project. A window to longevity will open, giving you a chance to gather clues about actions you can take and meditations you can do to remain vital for ten decades. I hope you’re not too much of a serious, know-it-all adult to benefit from this opportunity. If you’d like to be deeply receptive to the secrets of a long life, you must be able to see with innocent, curious eyes. Playfulness is not just a winsome quality in this quest; it’s an essential asset.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You’re ripe. You’re

delectable. Your intelligence is especially sexy. I think it’s time to unveil the premium version of your urge to merge. To prepare, let’s review a few flirtation strategies. The eyebrow flash is a good place to start. A subtle, flicking lick of your lips is a fine

follow-up. Try tilting your neck to the side ever-so-coyly. If there are signs of reciprocation from the other party, smooth your hair or pat your clothes. Fondle nearby objects like a wine glass or your keys. And this is very important: Listen raptly to the person you’re wooing. P.S.: If you already have a steady partner, use these techniques as part of a crafty plan to draw him or her into deeper levels of affection.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Let’s talk about a

compassionate version of robbery. The thieves who practice this art don’t steal valuable things you love. Rather, they pilfer stuff you don’t actually need but are reluctant to let go of. For example, the spirit of a beloved ancestor may sweep into your nightmare and carry off a delicious poison that has been damaging you in ways you’ve become comfortable with. A bandit angel might sneak into your imagination and burglarize the debilitating beliefs and psychological crutches you cling to as if they were bars of gold. Are you interested in benefiting from this service? Ask and you shall receive.

ScORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Evolved

Scorpios don’t fantasize about bad things happening to their competitors and adversaries. They don’t seethe with smoldering desires to torment anyone who fails to give them what they want. They may, however, experience urges to achieve TOTAL CUNNNG DAZZLING MERCILESS VICTORY over those who won’t acknowledge them as golden gods or golden goddesses. But even then, they don’t indulge in the deeply counterproductive emotion of hatred. Instead, they sublimate their ferocity into a drive to keep honing their talents. After all, that game plan is the best way to accomplish something even better than mere revenge: success in fulfilling their dreams. Please keep these thoughts close to your heart in the coming weeks.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “The noble

art of music is the greatest treasure in the world,” wrote Martin Luther (1483-1546), a revolutionary who helped break the stranglehold of the Catholic Church on the European imagination. I bring this up, Sagittarius, because you’re entering a phase when you need the kind of uprising that’s best incited by music. So I invite you to gather the tunes that have inspired you over the years, and also go hunting for a fresh batch. Then listen intently, curiously, and creatively as you feed your intention to initiate constructive mutation. Its time to overthrow anything about your status quo that is jaded, lazy, sterile, or apathetic.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Either you

learn to live with paradox and ambiguity or you’ll be six years old for the rest of your life,” says author Anne Lamott. How are you doing with that lesson, Capricorn? Still learning? If you would like to get even more advanced teachings about paradox and ambiguity -- as well as conundrums, incongruity, and anomalies -- there will be plenty of chances in the coming weeks. Be glad! Remember the words of Nobel Prize-winning physicist Niels Bohr: “How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Lichen is a

hardy form of life that by some estimates covers six percent of the earth’s surface. It thrives in arctic tundra and rainforests, on tree bark and rock surfaces, on walls and toxic slag heaps, from sea level to alpine environments. The secret of its success is symbiosis. Fungi and algae band together (or sometimes fungi and bacteria) to create a blended entity; two very dissimilar organisms forge an intricate relationship that comprises a third organism. I propose that you regard lichen as your spirit ally in the coming weeks, Aquarius. You’re primed for some sterling symbioses.

NORTHERN EXPRESS

CLASSIFIEDS EMPLOYMENT COMEDIANS FOR HIRE! Need laughs at an upcoming party or event? Falling Down Stairs Productions offers live comedy to fit your entertainment needs and budget. fallingdownstairsprod@gmail for details. RETAIL MANAGER * Marketing guru * COACH* Fun Haver. Run the retail operation of a Leelanau County creative business. Connect to customers, crush sales, coach sales people, must be extremely organized/detail oriented. Position commitment starts with May-October but could grow to more. Work with established team growing a Michigan Made brand from the ground up. Please email us why this describes you! maggie@lelandgal.com OFFICE & RESERVATIONS MANAGER Great Lakes Sailing Co. Must have office management experience, proficient with QuickBooks and excellent customer service skills. Email resume to Dave@ GreatLakesSailingCo.com

TBCAC FUND DEVELOPMENT Specialist Needed The Traverse Bay Children’s Advocacy Center seeks to hire a part time Fund Development Specialist. Positive, proactive attitude, with proven fundraising, communications & community building skills. This is a new position for a dynamic, growing nonprofit committed to the prevention & intervention of sexual & physical abuse of children in GT region. Half-

time with flexibility, competitive salary & the opportunity to build a new, impactful program with great staff, board & volunteers. Info, job description: mgillett03@gmail.com. PROJECT MANAGER Clean Harbors Remediation Technologies, a Division of Clean Harbors Environmental Services, is seeking candidates to fill multiple positions for Project Manager. Engineers, Geologists and Environmental Professionals are encouraged to apply. Full Time w/ Benefits. Inquire 231-258-8014. SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR OPPORTUNITY TBA Credit Union has an opening in the IT Department for a System Administrator. Responsibilities include assisting the credit union live out its mission, designing, installing, maintaining and troubleshooting LAN, WAN and Telephony components as well as Microsoft Windows Server and VMWare environment management and maintenance. 2-4 years exp. required. https://www.tbacu.com/ourstory/careers/ EVENTS AND VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR Goodwill Northern Michigan is seeking a friendly, energetic and highly organized professional to coordinate events and work with our awesome volunteers. College Degree +2 years of events/volunteer management experience. Position is full time w/benefits, working in our TC office. For immediate consideration email resume to hr@goodwillnmi.org or apply online.

DRIVER TRAINEES NEEDED! Learn to drive for Stevens Transport! NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! New drivers can earn $900+ per week! PAID CDL TRAINING! Stevens covers all costs! 1-888-748-4133 drive4stevens.com

ARCHITECT Traverse Architecture Group is looking to hire an Architect or talent with similar experience. AutoCAD, Revit, Windows Suites. Discrete inquires. Long term. All Great projects!

MEDIA/PUBLIC RELATIONS MANAGER Are you a communications professional who wants to make a difference in your community? Here’s your chance - Traverse City Tourism is looking for its next Media/Public Relations Manager. This pivotal job requires an affable, talented and experienced professional who can tell the Traverse City story, develop and maintain contacts in the regional, national and international travel media, and represent Traverse City Tourism in the wider community. For full job description and resume submission: https://www.traversecity.com/area/about-traverse-city-tourism/employment-opportunities/

HEALTH SERVICES

WA R E H O U S E RECEIVING SUPERVISOR Efulfillment Service has an opportunity to join its operations team. The Receiving Supervisor will manage the day to day operations of all receiving & returns processes. Seeking an individual who excels in a collaborative work environment. Full time with excellent benefits package. Complete an application at Efulfillmentservice.com/careers or email resume.

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REAL ESTATE WEST BAY WATERFRONT OFFICE SPACE Viridian is one of the most spectacular waterfront office buildings in Traverse City. Suite 301 overlooks a white sandy beach & crystal blue waters of West Bay. Included in this 2,000 sf space is a beautiful, oversized executive corner office with 8’ tinted window walls and stacked stone fireplace; large 1-2 person private office with 8’ window walls; private conference room reception area; open area & private bath; covered parking. $4,000 + $560 util. p/m. No other fees. 3 yr lease min. First month free. Call Erica at 231492-6669

BUY/SELL/TRADE SAWMILLS FROM ONLY $4397.00MAKE & SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill- Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship! FREE Info/DVD: www.NorwoodSawmills.com 1-800578-1363 Ext. 300N LARGE MIXER, was used for custom grain mixing for sale or trade. Call 231824-3391.

OTHER SEWING, ALTERATIONS, MENDING & repairs. Maple City, Maralene Roush 231-228-6248. BUDGET FRIENDLY Professional Photographer Portrait, Real Estate, Art, Hobby, Tattoos, Pets and more. jy@rblmilphto.com

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32 • march 6, 2017 • Northern Express Weekly