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NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • FEBruary 18 - FEBruary 24, 2019 • Vol. 29 No. 07

B A K E C A B I N F E V E R Clues on page 3

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2 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

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Think Deeper This Month Hopefully most of us know that February is Black History Month. Here in overwhelmingly white northwest lower Michigan, however, how much do we whites really think about what that means? Regardless of race or ethnicity, we were brought up in a white society, where whiteness automatically begat us a level of privilege. Few of us had occasion and were motivated to consider the implications of this on people of color.

Ask yourself, “What do I really know about black history?” Dr. Martin L. King!

President Barack Obama! Louis Armstrong!

Muhammad Ali! Slavery! Ku Klux Klan terrorism! Housing and job discrimination!

If reminded, we might also recall, say, Colin Powell, Malcolm X, Jackie Robinson, or the Civil Rights era.

But wait, there’s more. Laws passed in most southern states enforced more indignities on slaves. They were forbidden to carry arms unless ordered to participate in battles against indigenous peoples. They were not allowed to become literate; the post-war South then used literacy tests to deny the right to vote after the Fifteenth Amendment became law. Children of slaves born of white fathers remained slaves, including Sally Hemings and her children (at least 75 percent white), who were fathered

by Thomas Jefferson. Ten of the first 12 presidents owned slaves.

After World War One, Klan-led mobs attacked African-American soldiers in uniform in some 25 Southern cities, killing hundreds. The original Social Security Act did not cover agricultural and domestic workers, who disproportionately were people of color. Federal housing laws encouraged discrimination against people of color until the 1960s. The list goes on and on.

Black History Month should stimulate us to learn more about the history of racism.

But we should also respect the resilience and determination of those who endured racism on a daily basis — and even more those who transcended the experience and become known, even renowned, by us.

Tom Beukema, Petoskey

Medicare For All A truly momentous decision awaits our country as we crawl toward Medicare for all. This obvious morally correct path is caring for all. Children shouldn’t have to sit in school hiding smiles due to bad teeth.

Adults not able to pay for dental care expose themselves to heart and brain infections, potentially fatal.

Those with good insurance must still realize anyone and their family is just one serious illness or injury away from depletion of all resources. This serious thought must supplant the selfishness of self.

It seems our Republican friends, some of whom I assume are good people, would realize that in adopting care for all, the onerous burden of supplying employee health care would be lifted. An instant reduction in the cost of doing business would be a certain positive that cannot be denied.

Please Google “average annual healthcare costs for a family of four”: $28,166. It may be realized that you actually pay a lesser amount, with all being covered. Please ignore big insurance, big pharma, and big shots that scoff and cite it an impossibility.

All Americans are deserving of healthcare.

Bradley Price, Northport Push For Big Picture One of the great unspoken tragedies of our time is that ordinary people from all walks of life have gotten really good about offering sound bites on any topic. We argue now by positioning clichés and phrases that touch a raw nerve — to hell with big picture thinking.

Cause and effect? Ha! Effect is all I need, Baby!

When Amazon made the announcement to pull their proposed HQ2 deal off the table in Long Island City, real estate brokers cried that it was devastating, lamenting that local businesses really needed the growth, and all the other unarguable lines people roll out these days in times of national emergencies.

(When I say unarguable lines, what I mean is “something that can’t be argued in 15 seconds,” before Twitter or breaking bews or some other shiny item steals our focus away.

A big-picture argument? No thank you.

Here’s how devastated Long Island City will be: In the past 10 years, property values there have risen by 83 percent, businesses are having their best retail years ever, and the housing market has far more demand than it does supply. Hence, well-run construction jobs, banks, eateries, and daily-staple stores are doing great.

The devastation those real estate brokers are talking about is the anticipation of an intense outbreak of bidding wars in housing, due to Amazon’s 25,000 promised jobs.

When prices run away all of a sudden, it’s good news for some; bad news for others.

Worse yet — worst of all, really, for a place like Long Island City — is that the local economy now becomes beholden to one company. And if that company someday decides to leave, implosion happens. Hotels close, restaurants go empty, home prices fall rapidly (and all the other community horrors that arise with that scene).

So, no, not devastating. Unfortunate for those real estate brokers, yes — in the short run. But where is their big-picture argument?

The reason Amazon pulled out was because of the community backlash to $3 billion in subsidies and tax breaks to the richest company in the world. But, wait, here’s where you need to ask yourself, is that just another quick sound bite from the other side?

I don’t know. It’s not my fight to fight.

But it is a learning moment for those of us

here in northern Michigan. First, please try to wean yourself off “sound bite” arguments and renew your appetite for big-picture thinking and consideration. Second, beware the whipping effect that comes along when massive public subsidies are promised to companies that can then hold a community hostage to their whims and desires.

Do what I’m going to do: Follow the story.

Read about both sides. Then, learn their lesson so we don’t have to repeat it here.

CONTENTS features Crime and Rescue Map......................................7

Jack Lane, Traverse City Northern Michigan’s Safety Net is Broken.............10 Ice Man.......................................................13 Get. Out. ....................................................15 The keys to surviving this winter?

Regina Carter at City Opera House...................16 They’re inside this week’s Cabin Fever Northern Seen............................................17 issue — and hidden on our cover.

Use these clues to get your adventure started: Ice fishing ................................................18-20 Fat tire bike Frozen Straits Cabin fever Get out Four Score.....................................................22 Nightlife.........................................................24 Cinnamon rolls Soup Braaap Igloo Top Ten...........................................................4 Beer Spectator/Stephen Tuttle....................................6 Cheese Weird...............................................................9 Spray tan Chef’s Notes...................................................12 Play ukulele Modern Rock/Kristi Kates................................21 Film................................................................23 Ski Advice Goddess...........................................25 Bike Crossword...................................................25 Bake Freewill Astrology..........................................26 Bowl Classifieds..................................................27 Full moon Snowshoe Glow

dates music

columns & stuff

ST. PAT’S BREW ISSUE

Northern Express Weekly is published by Eyes Only Media, LLC. Publisher: Luke Haase 129 E Front Traverse City, MI 49684 Phone: (231) 947-8787 Fax: 947-2425 email: info@northernexpress.com www.northernexpress.com Executive Editor: Lynda Twardowski Wheatley Finance & Distribution Manager: Brian Crouch Sales: Kathleen Johnson, Lisa Gillespie, Kaitlyn Nance, Mike Bright, Michele Young, Randy Sills, Todd Norris For ad sales in Petoskey, Harbor Springs, Boyne & Charlevoix, call (231) 838-6948 Creative Director: Kyra Poehlman Distribution: Matt Ritter, Randy Sills, Kirk Hull, Kimberly Sills, Gary Twardowski, Kathy Twardowski Listings Editor: Jamie Kauffold Reporter: Patrick Sullivan Contributors: Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Ross Boissoneau, Anna Faller, Jennifer Hodges, Kristi Kates, Craig Manning, Al Parker, Michael Phillips, Todd VanSickle, Steve Tuttle, Meg Weichman,

for more advertising information contact: 231-947-8787 info@northernexpress.com

Copyright 2019, all rights reserved. Distribution: 36,000 copies at 600+ locations weekly. Northern Express Weekly is free of charge, but no person may take more than one copy of each weekly issue without written permission of Northern Express Weekly. Reproduction of all content without permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 3

this week’s

top ten IAF Plans to Talk Trash Traverse City’s International Affairs Forum will resume its latest season with a big question: What are we going to do with all of our trash?

JD Lindeberg, a principal and president of Resource Recycling Systems, will present “Trashing the Planet: Mountains of Garbage with No Place to Go” Thursday, Feb. 21. Lindeberg has over 30 years of experience in corporate sustainability and resource recovery.

Across the United States — and in northern Michigan — we’re at a turning point in recycling. For years our plastic and other unwanted waste was shipped to China to be recycled, but that country doesn’t want our rubbish anymore.

Northern Express explored how the region is confronting this problem in “How Much Northern Michigan Trash Really Gets Recycled?” in the Dec. 8, 2018, issue.

Thursday’s talk will take place at 6pm at the NMC’s Milliken Auditorium at the Dennos Museum Center. Tickets are $15. Students are free.

Bottoms up Pickled Martini A tiny sprig of emerald dill floats on the Pickled Martini’s pristine blanket of silky, white foam … and the daggone thing looks like some artist’s version of a winter still life. The irony of this drink, created by Sara LaDuke at Pierson’s Grille & Spirits in Harbor Springs, is that while it has a rather arctic appearance, this bracing martini actually tastes like a summer refreshment. The pale yellow potion hangs its hat on Stolichnaya vodka infused — in-house — with dill, cucumber, garlic, mustard seed, and black peppercorns. After a good shake, a splash of pickle juice helps compound all the colliding flavors. The dill and garlic hold sway over the subtler cucumber and mustard notes, but they’re not completely drowned out; with their all green leanings, the Pickled Martini’s bold flavors are undeniably summertinged. LaDuke confided that her mother’s pickle-making and canning inspired the concoction, which will set you back 10 bucks. It’s worth it, though — especially in this climate. Anything that can refresh you while providing a mental glimpse of summer is worth its weight in grass clippings. So go get a mouthful of summer and leave your winter laments at home. 130 E. State St., (231) 526-2967, www.piersonsgrille.com.

4 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

indoor folk festival The Great Indoor Folk Festival brings more than 100 musicians from northern Michigan’s folk, bluegrass and acoustic music scene to the Grand Traverse Commons, TC on Sun., Feb. 24 from 12-5:30pm. This free event features seven stages, including those dedicated to New Folk & Kids Music. Pictured is Alex Mendenall, a nationally touring indie soul musician based in Detroit. He performs 1:30-1:55pm on the North Solo Stage. Find ‘Great Indoor Folk Festival’ on Facebook.

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Hey, read it!

“Black Leopard, Red Wolf”

From Man Booker Prize-winning author Marlon James comes the first installment of his epic “Dark Star” Trilogy, “Black Leopard, Red Wolf.” Hailed as the “Game of Thrones” of African fiction, this multi-perspective novel follows Tracker, a mercenary and the eponymous “Red Wolf,” hired to trace the long-cold trail of a missing boy. A hunter known for his nose, Tracker, accompanied by a mishmash of magical creatures, forages the lands of a fantastic Africa in search of the boy, besting a seemingly endless onslaught of beasts along the way. But, is it really the child Tracker is chasing? Based in traditional African folklore and lavishly imaginative, “Black Leopard, Red Wolf” is a beguiling tale of truth-seeking, in which all are unreliable and nothing is as it seems. What you can believe: You won’t want to put it down.

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River Alcohol Ban Gets Temporary Reprieve

An announcement that the Huron-Manistee National Forest would bar alcohol from sections of three popular rivers —the Au Sable, Manistee, and Pine — sparked backlash that prompted officials to put off the ban until at least 2020.

A change.org petition called “Stop Ban of Alcohol on Michigan Rivers” had racked up 48,330 signatures as of Thursday morning.

On Wednesday, the National Forest Service announced that it was backing off the prohibition so that officials could work with local communities to possibly come up with alternative means of “restoring public safety and preventing damage to congressionallyprotected sections” of the rivers.

“Individuals and businesses throughout northern Michigan have expressed strong interest in partnering with the Forest Service to address ongoing public safety and environmental issues on our National Wild and Scenic Rivers,” said Huron-Manistee National Forests Supervisor Leslie Auriemmo. “We welcome a practical, communitydriven solution to these challenges.”

The decision to prohibit alcohol on sections of the rivers came after instances of irresponsible drinking and rowdiness that posed danger to people and the natural environment.

Get Rich While Snowmobiling

stuff we love Holdin’ Out for a Hero Kids these days have it tough. You know what they could use? A hero — somebody who demonstrates a commitment to children and mentorship Up North. Know one? Well, nominate that hero now, because the NMC students organizing the fifth annual Big Little Hero Race — a spring fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters — want to hail him or her with their Local Hero Award on April 13, the date of the race. Past Local Heroes include Tony Anderson, a marathon runner whose runs also benefit BBBS, Blair Elementary School staff, and a memorial award to the late NMC instructor Sonja Olshove. Nominate a hero you know on the race Facebook page, NMC Business Students for BBBS, or email Kmcdonald@nmc.edu.

The Michigan Annual Snowmobile Fest in Gaylord is going to be one of the best in history: In the last week alone, some parts of Gaylord got more than 18 inches of snow.

Perfect timing, that; because on Saturday, Feb. 23, two-strokers from around the state will converge to participate in what’s being dubbed “Michigan’s Richest Snowmobile Fun Run.” This free event will brings more than 100 sledheads out on some of the Alpen area’s big-pow trails and hits five fine locations — Keg Bar, Porter Haus, Beaver Creek Resort, Treetops Resort, and Paul’s Pub — before wending back to the Eagles Hall for food, drinks, live music from the Sleeping Gypsies, gift certificate drawings galore, and an 8pm grand prize drawing for $1,000. Register online at www. gaylordmichigan.net.

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Pulled-pork Tacos

In a town chock-full of fast food restaurants, tasty tacos can be hard to find. “People think Kalkaska doesn’t have tacos,” Glenn Hunter tells Northern Express. But come Taco Tuesday, the owner of the town’s Pick Kwik convenience store proves ’em all wrong. The pulled-pork tacos are the star of the week’s show, and for good reason. Their smoky but sweet pork melts in your mouth, leaving no desire for either hot sauce or sour cream. And, like all lunches the Pick Kwik serves, they’re quick, affordable, and divine. “A lot of people don’t know we do warm lunches,” Hunter said. The menu varies, from tater tot casseroles to lasagna, but the tacos — chicken, beef and pork — are the most popular. “We have had people from Petoskey come for the tacos, because they heard they were so good,” said cook Brittney Goodyear, who makes everything from scratch. The Pick Kwik is open 6am to 9pm, Monday thru Friday; warm lunches available 10am to 1pm.

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Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 5

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WATCHING THE DIVIDE WIDEN spectator

by Stephen Tuttle There was a time when it was somewhat of a special occasion. The majority of the country gathered in front of their televisions and watched the president deliver the State of the Union address.

If you liked the president, you thought the speech was great, and if you didn’t, not so much. But there was a certain elegance to it all. The guest gallery included unifying figures nearly everyone could admire. Perhaps a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient or someone who had accomplished some

Every State of the Union Address we’ve ever heard makes some plea for unity. But now it’s to an audience hopelessly divided. remarkable civic good. Maybe even a civilian pilot who managed to land a commercial jetliner in the Hudson River without a single loss of life.

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SOUL SQUEEZE CELLARS

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G NIN OPE ING SPR

2019

Not anymore. It’s now an annual Theater of the Absurd and Horrible.

Let’s back up and see how this started.

Article II, Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution, while enumerating presidential powers and duties, says, “He shall from time to time give to the Congress information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient ... .”

You’ll note it does not require a speech, does not require it be given annually, does not specify a time at all; just give Congress the information.

George Washington was the first to turn it into a speech in 1790, though it wasn’t officially called the State of the Union Address until 1947. A speech was the rare exception, and from 1801 to 1913, there were no State of the Union speeches at all, just written reports. They read a bit more like an annual financial report than a political document, though politics is always present in every presidential speech or report. Altogether, there have been 130 written versions and 96 speeches.

!

Woodrow Wilson restored the bad habit of turning an annual report into a speech in 1914. Once mass media emerged, the speech became an event, then a spectacle, and now it’s more like a carnival.

There are several problems, not least of which is that so few presidents are any good at delivering a scripted speech.

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6 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

Barack Obama and Ronald Reagan were notable exceptions. Obama was electric on the campaign trail, and he had an interesting cadence in scripted speeches that was engaging. Reagan, the former actor, was the best of the lot. He knew exactly when to pause, when to nod, when to be self-deprecating; his delivery was masterful, at least in his first term. It helped that he had Peggy Noonan and other writers who knew how to write precisely within his comfort zone.

Among the modern presidents, John F. Kennedy was pretty good and had the benefit of excellent speechwriters. Nearly all the rest have been borderline awful, though Richard Nixon was good enough to at least be brief. Bill Clinton thought he was great, but he tried too hard and was always dreadfully long-winded. He holds the current record for longest State of the Union, at 89 minutes.

President Trump, who campaigned being proudly disdainful of scripted speeches, delivers them accordingly. His speech was written more eloquently than his normal rally riffs, but it’s obvious he’s uncomfortably restrained by written words.

(Even Abraham Lincoln, the greatest presidential speechwriter ever, wasn’t such a great speech giver. The Times of London said of his Gettysburg Address delivery, “Anything more dull and commonplace would be difficult to produce ... .”)

Then there’s the content and how it now contrasts with the reality of the assembled members of Congress and their gallery guests.

Every State of the Union Address we’ve ever heard makes some plea for unity. But now it’s to an audience hopelessly divided.

As President Trump droned on for 82 minutes, he might as well have built his wall down the middle of the House chamber and extended it into the gallery.

Democrats over there, Republicans over there. One side stands and applauds while the other sits on their hands. Then the other stands and applauds while the first sits on their hands. Dress the women members in white to highlight the differences with the other side.

Gallery guests are now divisive political props in a celebration of competing tragedies. One side brings in a family whose loved one was murdered by an illegal immigrant, so the other side gives us the parents of a student murdered at school by an American citizen. Every guest is now a symbol of some issue that widens the gaps between us.

The speech is an anachronism, but no selfrespecting president is going to pass up the opportunity to get on prime-time television with all the attendant pomp and attention given the State of the Union address. That’s a shame.

The words of unity are easily forgotten, what we saw less so: a divided nation being driven further apart by the people we hoped would bring us together.

Crime & Rescue ELBERTA MAN FACES PROSTITUTION CASE The former Village of Elberta Department of Public Works director is accused of attempting to lure women into prostitution.

Traverse Narcotics Team detectives received a complaint Feb. 8 that 57-year-old Kenneth Bonney was attempting to solicit women into prostitution, according to a press release.

TNT officers and Benzie County Sheriff’s deputies investigated and executed two search warrants, one on Six Mile Road in Joyfield Township, and one on McConnell Drive in Elberta.

During the search detectives discovered a “hidden room” that “contained evidence supporting the initial complaint.”

Detectives also found evidence that Bonney, a convicted felon, possessed several firearms.

Bonney was arrested and faces charges of pandering, a felony that carries up to 20 years in prison. He was arraigned Feb. 10.

Investigators said anyone with additional information should contact the Benzie County Sheriff’s Office.

POLICE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR FUGITIVE State police at the Gaylord Post are looking for help locating a suspect accused of child abuse and sexual assault.

They are looking for Vinnzenz Neil Waynee, a 22-year-old known to frequent the Petoskey, Gaylord, Atlanta, and Mio areas of Michigan.

He faces charges of third-degree child abuse and third-degree criminal sexual conduct.

Investigators said anyone who helps Waynee avoid arrest could be charged with assisting/ harboring a fugitive.

Waynee is five-feet, nine-inches tall, weighs 140 pounds, and has brown hair and brown eyes.

Anyone with information about his whereabouts should call the state police fugitive team at (989) 732-5141.

WOMAN CRITICALLY INJURED IN CRASH An Elk Rapids woman suffered lifethreatening injuries after her car was struck by a vehicle driven by a teenager who lost control on icy roads.

Antrim County Sheriff’s deputies investigated the crash at 3pm Feb. 10 on Elk Lake Road near Orchard Lane in Elk Rapids Township.

Joshua Frank, a 17-year-old Kewadin resident, was headed north on icy roads in a GMC Envoy when he lost control and slid into the path of a Chevy Traverse driven by 68-year-old Michelene Pollister.

Both drivers were taken to Munson Medical Center; Frank suffered less serious injuries.

EVERYONE OK AFTER SCHOOL BUS CRASH Only minor injuries resulted after a van carrying five students and two adults crashed in Manistee County.

A van carrying a wrestling team from Manistee crashed at 5:15pm Feb. 8 on M-55

by patrick sullivan psullivan@northernexpress.com

near Low Bridge Road, state police said.

The van was headed east when its driver lost control, crossed over the opposing lane, crashed into a ditch, and rolled. The driver and passengers suffered only minor injuries, but everyone was taken to a hospital to be checked out, troopers said. The van’s driver was cited for driving too fast for conditions.

MOTEL GUESTS STOP ASSAULT Other guests intervened after a recently paroled Alanson man attacked a woman for refusing to have sex with him in a Traverse City motel room.

The woman told police that 23-year-old Damian Michael May went into a rage Feb. 8 when she refused to have sex, saying that he strangled her, causing her to fear for her life.

When the woman attempted to call out for help, May struck her in the face, causing her to lose consciousness, according to the charges.

When the woman awoke, May allegedly held her against her will in the room, saying that he would have to kill her to avoid going back to prison, the charges said.

Other motel guests heard the commotion and intervened, saving the woman. May fled but was tracked down by police a couple miles away. May was discharged from the Michigan Department of Corrections last year after he served a sentence for a felony marijuana conviction.

LARGE ECSTASY SHIPMENT DIVERTED Police arrested a 48-year-old Mesick man after 51 tablets of ecstasy bound for northern Michigan from the Netherlands were intercepted at Chicago O’Hare International airport.

Donald Fazenbaker was charged with conspiracy to deliver ecstasy and attempted possession of ecstasy following an investigation by the Traverse Narcotics Team, the state police, Homeland Security, and Customs and Border Protection.

Officers executed a search warrant at Fazenbaker’s home Feb. 12 and found evidence that the suspect used the “dark web” and possibly cryptocurrencies in drug transactions that span three years.

The “endangered missing advisory” noted that the girls and their father were believed to be in the Mackinaw City area.

Shortly after the state police put out the alert along with the girls’ photos, an innkeeper in Mackinac Island saw them on the news and recognized them as having checked in to the motel earlier that day. Mackinac Island Police responded and determined that the girls were safe.

MISSING GIRLS FOUND SAFE A Mackinac Island innkeeper who watched the late local news spotted two missing Grand Rapids girls and called police.

An alert had been put out Feb. 11 by the state police and Kent County Sheriff’s Department for the 12-year-old and 9-yearold sisters, who were feared in danger because their father failed to drop them off at school that day and had exhibited signs that he was suffering “some kind of mental episode.”

emmet

MOTHER CHARGED FOR SON’S DEATH A 22-year-old mother faces charges of driving while intoxicated causing death and second-degree child abuse for causing a crash that took the life of her 4-year-old son.

Beulah resident Isabella Bronson was charged in Benzie County this month in connection with a Jan. 13 crash that occurred on M-115 north of Lindy Road in Weldon Township.

Sheriff’s deputies allege that Bronson had been under the influence of methamphetamine at the time of the crash; Bronson also allegedly failed to property secure her son, Reece Watkins, into a child safety seat. Bronson lost control on a curve, drove off the road, and crashed into several trees.

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Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 7

DRUNKEN NATION opinion

bY Isiah Smith “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald Life told in anecdotes: You enter a dark cave, shadows dance upon the wall, twisted dark figures pass around brown paper bags containing ethanol. Slowly, reluctantly, you join them..

Alcohol is the only dangerous drug that, once refused, raises questions, concerns, and disbelief. “You’re not drinking — why?” “Is there something wrong with you?” “Are you on a health kick?” “To stop drinking, you must have really had problems! How much were you drinking, anyway?”

No one asks why you’re not shooting up heroin, ingesting cocaine, abusing opiates, or popping prescription drugs. And if you were, most people would prefer that you kept it to yourself. Nobody asks, “What’s your favorite narcotic? I want to make sure we serve your favorite dope at dinner tonight. Do you use red or white needles?”

Drinking alcohol is not only accepted, it’s expected.

You still remember that first time you drank to excess (oh, drop the euphemism; you got drunk). You had turned 19, and to celebrate, your Aunt Erma and her sister Fronny took you to a club in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

You think nothing of it when she orders you a Johnny Walker Red over ice. The first sip of the amber liquid tasted exactly like what it was: poison.

But you persevered and quickly lost count of the number of drinks you consumed. The demon brew had never before touched your teenage virginal lips; but now, on that fateful first journey down the rabbit hole, you drank as if to make up for your 19 years of sobriety.

The world turns dark; you lose all conscious feeling. The next day your memory is a black hole from which nothing, not even light, can escape. Jackhammers obliterate your brain, your stomach turns counter-clockwise, and nothing is as it was before you voluntarily introduced poison into your 19-year-old body.

You learn, as Leslie Jamison recounts learning in her drinking memoir, “The Recovering,” that you can lose a night entirely. It was a revelation that failed to reveal any hidden truths. In your callow youth, flushed with newly discovered powers and not a bit worried about one’s mortality, you discover the myth of infallibility and the belief that everything and anything is possible.

Turns out, you were neither infallible nor very powerful. In the South Florida that existed back then, turning down any substance, legal or otherwise, that altered one’s consciousness was considered rude, and your grandparents had raised you to be polite.

The men in your family were marathon drinkers who worked assiduously to lower

8 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

their times. By the time most of them reached the age you are now, they had been dead 5 to 10 years. You used to think that you had been born without the longevity gene. Then you remembered that your grandfather’s sister, Aunt Lillie Mae, had lived to be 100 years old. She had been unique in your family, sui generis, in that she never drank nor smoked. Hmmm. Your old granddaddy, too, had ended his bondage to the bottle when he turned 45; approaching 85, he was still very much alive.

What were you missing here?

You will learn that the pain alcohol creates vastly exceeds the pain it erases.

The Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama Shakyamuni, said, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Sometimes the teacher comes disguised as a diversion.

Such was the case when a copy of “The Naked Mind,” authored by Annie Grace, fell into your sweaty palms.

Grace provides such a trenchant analysis of the dangers inherent in consuming legalized poisons that your blood runs cold. The analysis is so disturbing it makes you want to drink even more than you drank before you climbed out of the bottle. Read and cringe: “Drinking alcohol increases the risk of cancer, whether you drink it all in one go or a little bit at a time.” Moreover, Grace points out, alcohol contains ethanol, the same substance you put in your car. Are you a car? And where is your carburetor located?

From “The Naked Mind” you reluctantly conclude that the safest amount of alcohol is no alcohol.

And what does it do to your ability to produce and excel? That question is best answered by bastardized words from Oscar Brown’s Tone Poem, “A Ladies Man”: “You look back on the life you have led, what great ideas might have filled your head, if you had not drank so much instead? But time has not completely fled.”

Because finally, after too much time, and too many brown bags full of ethanol, fear, and painful trauma, you move toward the exit of the dark cave in which you’ve spent too many lost weekends, too many dark nights.

Shadowy hands reach out, clutch your arms; claws dig into your muscles and sinew.

The pain is immense, but you pass from the darkness into the light. You take deep breaths, savor the fresh air you have spent too long avoiding. Luminous rays of sunlight dance upon your face. Free at last, free at last!

Isiah Smith Jr. is a former newspaper columnist for the Miami Times. He worked as a psychotherapist before attending the University of Miami Law School, where he also received a master’s degree in psychology.

In December 2013, he retired from the Department of Energy’s Office of General Counsel, where he served as a deputy assistant general counsel for administrative litigation and information law. Isiah lives in Traverse City with his wife, Marlene.

Hair of the Dog In a whole new twist on stomach pumping, doctors in Quang Tri, Vietnam, saved 48-year-old Nguyen Van Nhat’s life in January by transfusing 15 cans of beer INTO his stomach. As Dr. Le Van Lam explained to the Daily Mail, alcohol contains both methanol and ethanol, and the liver breaks down ethanol first. But after a person stops drinking, the stomach and intestines continue to release alcohol into the bloodstream -even if the drinker has lost consciousness -and alcohol levels continue to rise. In Nhat’s case, upon arrival at the hospital, his blood methanol level was 1,119 times higher than the appropriate limit. Doctors administered one can of beer every hour to slow down his metabolizing of methanol, which gave them time to perform dialysis. Nhat spent three weeks in the hospital before returning home.

Names in the News Your giggle for the week: During a Jan. 17 special program on ITV Westcountry in the United Kingdom about how police forces are suffering under budget cuts, a certain officer interviewed for the show got more attention for his name than for his opinions about the budget. PC Rob Banks has undoubtedly heard clever remarks about his name all his life, reported Plymouth Live, but Twitter users from as far away as Australia found it newly hilarious.

Try the Decaf Officers in Madison, Wisconsin, were called to a home on Jan. 20 by an unnamed 34-year-old male resident who went on a spree of destruction when he thought his wife had destroyed his prized collection of action figures. Madison Police Chief Mike Koval wrote in his blog that officers arrived to find an ax buried in the windshield of a car. The man explained to them he had overreacted and used the log-splitting ax to chop up a TV, TV stand, laptop computer and other items in the house before going outside to attack his car, chopping off both side mirrors and breaking out the windshield, reported WMTV. He admitted to officers that he had also been drinking too much, and he was charged with disorderly conduct and felony damage to property.

The Entrepreneurial Spirit A 19-year-old man from Nice, France, has received a four-month (suspended) sentence for a clever plot he hatched in September. The man, known only as Adel, removed a PlayStation 4 from a supermarket shelf on Sept. 17 and took it to the produce aisle, where he weighed it and printed out a price sticker for fruit. Then he used the self-checkout line to pay and left the store with a $389 piece of electronics for about $10. Adel sold the PlayStation for $114 to buy a train ticket. The next day, he tried the same scheme, but police caught him in the act. He will only have to serve his sentence if he re-offends, reported Kotaku.com.

Least Competent Criminals -- Oh, those pesky surveillance cameras.

Alexander Goldinsky, 57, had a bright idea for collecting some cash, but it was just so 1990s. While working as an independent contractor at a Woodbridge, New Jersey, business, Goldinsky scattered some ice on the floor in the company’s kitchen area, then carefully arranged himself on the floor as if he had slipped and fallen, according to United

Press International. Then, as the security cameras rolled, he waited to be discovered.

He was arrested in January on charges of insurance fraud and theft by deception, after the Middlesex County Prosecutor’s Office said Goldinsky filed a false insurance claim for an ambulance ride and treatment at a local hospital.

-- For David Rodriguez, 28, it was his disguise of choice that tripped him up as he robbed a 7-Eleven store in Fort Myers, Florida, on Feb. 2, according to the Lee County Sheriff ’s Office. Rodriguez donned a gray hoodie and a wig before approaching the counter at the store, showing a gun and demanding cash, reported the Miami Herald.

When officers arrived, they got a detailed description, including the wig, and “additional witness information” led them to a nearby apartment. Inside they found Rodriguez, and “in plain view, a gray hooded sweater, several wigs and a large amount of wadded up cash.”

Bingo! Rodriguez was charged with robbery with a firearm.

Inexplicable -- For UNC-Greensboro student Maddie (no last name provided), there really was a monster in the closet. Or at least a guy named Drew. After returning to her apartment on Feb. 2, Maddie heard strange noises coming from her closet. She put her hand on the door and said, “Who’s in there?” “My name’s Drew,” answered the intruder, according to WFMY TV. Maddie continued talking with him, and when she opened the door, Drew was sitting on the floor of the closet, dressed in her clothing. He also had a bag full of her clothes, shoes and socks. Andrew Clyde Swofford, 30, begged her not to call police, and she chatted with him for another 10 minutes, “everything about his life and basically how he got in my closet,” she said. Swofford left when Maddie’s boyfriend arrived, and police caught up with him at a nearby gas station, where he was arrested for misdemeanor breaking and entering. Maddie told reporters she thinks Swofford has been in her apartment before: “We always joke that there’s a ghost in here because I’ve been missing clothes since I’ve been living here.” She signed a lease for a new apartment a few days later.

-- Sharisha Morrison of Albuquerque, New Mexico, and her neighbors have been the recipients since Jan. 1 of an odd gift: plastic grocery bags with slices of bread and bologna inside, delivered by an unknown man. At first, Morrison told KOB TV, she thought the food deliveries were acts of kindness, until she opened the bag and smelled the contents. “It smelled like urine,” she said. Morrison said she can watch the man on her surveillance camera. “He’ll just walk up and drop it on the little doorknob and walk away,” she said. “I just want it to stop.” Police have told her they can’t do anything unless they catch him in the act.

The Way the World Works Residents of the small town of Hilgermissen in northwestern Germany voted decisively on Feb. 3 against naming the community’s streets. Currently, addresses are a house number and the name of one of the former villages that combined to create Hilgermissen in the 1970s, reported the Associated Press.

Officials had hoped that street names would ease the jobs of emergency services and delivery drivers, but 60 percent of the 2,200 citizens rejected the council’s plan. The recent result will be binding for two years.

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Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 9

NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S SAFETY NET IS BROKEN As a brutal winter rages on, a new policy at the state agency that provides emergency food and heat assistance is causing serious problems.

By Patrick Sullivan A change in how the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services processes applications for benefits like food stamps and emergency heating assistance was supposed to increase efficiency and ensure that clients get processed more quickly.

Instead, the new system, which was rolled out last year, to rural counties first, has caused processing times to lag, or come to a screeching halt.

The problems became evident just as winter approached. And they were of particularly concern Up North, where the seasonal economy and high heating costs make the cold months the most difficult for people who are struggling to survive.

NO OTHER OPTIONS Levering resident Wesly Wilson said he had a great experience with DHHS a decade ago, when he first sought assistance, but when he needed help again last fall, the results were nightmarish.

“The first time I ever needed aid, I was 19, and I was homeless, and I was unemployed,” he said. “I basically didn’t have anything but a car.”

He said he went into a DHHS office and received a Bridge Card — a kind of debit card the state’s Food Assistance Program gives users to purchase food — and was able to use it to buy groceries that same day.

But last fall, when the Levering resident was laid off for the season from his job at Harbor Point Association in Harbor Springs, he and his young family — he was married with two children, ages 1 and 6 — needed help paying for food. He applied for a Bridge Card again, but said his application was repeatedly delayed through September and October. Every time he visited the office, he learned of another reason why he would have to wait longer.

“We had no other options. We were literally selling stuff, doing anything we could,” he said.

He said the caseworkers in the DHHS office were just as frustrated and baffled as he was. He said he felt that, compared to his experience 11 years earlier, the system had been redesigned to deter people who need benefits.

“I need help more than ever, and I’m so discouraged by the system because I don’t feel like I’m going to get any,” he said.

was rejected not on its merits, but because of bureaucratic failings within DHHS. The young woman has a part-time job, he said, but the income from that job is not enough to disqualify her from receiving benefits.

Instead, he said, the benefits were declined because a caseworker determined that the pay records submitted with her application were incomplete.

“The story is bleak,” Bush said. “We’ve been trying to get her Medicaid and SNAP benefits, which is food stamps, since September.”

State bureaucrats like DHHS social workers don’t show up at the office hours of their state reps to complain about state policies, she said. It just doesn’t happen. That it did happen, Martin said, meant something must be very, very wrong.

Wilson eventually got a job at McDonald’s. Around the same time, he and his wife separated, in part because of financial problems. Amid the turmoil, Wilson said he forgot about his application, which was apparently never processed.

“THE STORY IS BLEAK” Changes at DHHS mean that across northern Michigan, the people who are most vulnerable are being failed by the system that’s supposed to be their safety net, said Matthew Bush, a volunteer with the Char-Em United Way in Petoskey who helps connect low income folks with necessary services.

Bush started working with an 18-year-old homeless high school student last year, and when he discovered that she could qualify for Medicaid and food stamps, he helped her apply. Even though her hardship looked fairly clear-cut, Bush said her application was delayed and then rejected.

Bush said it looked to him like her case

10 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

Bush said that in the dealings he’s had with DHHS offices, he’s found a system that’s broken.

“I was on the phone [with DHHS] for three-and-a-half hours, just waiting to talk to someone, and that’s pretty typical,” he said.

The new system — called “universal caseload” — was designed to promote efficiency; rather than assigning specific cases to specific DHHS caseworkers, all caseworkers would oversee all cases, enabling the first available caseworker to answer any individual’s questions. That’s not how it’s played out, however.

“The goal is to be able to respond to customers more quickly and answer the majority of customer questions on the first call,” said DHHS spokesman Bob Wheaton.

“There has been some growing pains with that, and there have been concerns expressed by customers and caseworkers as well.”

Wheaton said that the complaints about the system have prompted the DHHS’s

recently named director, Robert Gordon, to review “universal caseload” so that changes can be made.

“He heard right away concerns about the system and directed the department to make immediate improvements,” Wheaton said.

FOOD STAMPS LOST IN RED TAPE Here’s a typical complaint about the problems at DHHS: Lisa Hill works at the Petoskey Walmart.

She lives in Cheboygan but doesn’t work at that store, because the Petoskey location offers more hours. Unpredictable work schedules come with a Walmart job, she said, and the hours available ebb and flow with the size of the tourist population. In October, her hours were cut dramatically, because of the seasonal slowdown in shopping. She went from 40 hours per week to 18 or fewer.

Hill, a food-stamp recipient, said it’s common for the Walmart employees she knows to supplement their income with food stamps; it’s how they manage to get by on such low-paying jobs. (In January 2018, Walmart raised its entry wage to $11 an hour. The retail giant says its average wage for full-time hourly workers is $13.79 an hour.) Hill said she’s become accustomed to the food-stamp eligibility re-evaluation process required twice a year. So, when the time came, she had all her paperwork filled out and turned it in online and in person at the Cheboygan DHHS office by her Nov. 15 deadline.

If anything, she figured, her food stamps would increase, since her hours had been cut back, and her rent had recently increased when she moved from Mackinaw City to Cheboygan.

But, instead of receiving a new book of food stamps, the single mother of an 11-year-old and a 12-year-old got a notice in December that her case was closed because she had failed to submit her application.

That came as a surprise to Hill.

Members of Cheboygan’s Center for Change meeting State Sen. Wayne Schmidt and Rep. Lee Chatfield at the Petoskey District Library Jan. 26.

“I went to talk to somebody at the office, and they looked it up on the computer and said it was OK,” Hill said.

That was on Dec. 7, and Hill was given her food stamps for the month.

Following Christmas, Hill said her hours, which were increased around the holiday, were cut to new lows, and by mid-January, she needed to apply for emergency heating assistance. That’s when she learned why she hadn’t received her food stamps for January or February — her case was closed, and the benefit was cut off because the DHHS office again insisted that she had not submitted her application.

Hill returned to the office, pointed out the error once again, and her food stamps were reinstated Jan. 25.

That kind of story is typical, said Owen Goslin, an activist in Cheboygan. Goslin said he’s heard of case after case like Hill’s — in which a person is eligible to receive benefits yet didn’t receive them because of backlog and bureaucratic error.

“A lot of these people, they are turning to friends, so they aren’t literally starving. I haven’t heard of anyone literally without heat,” Goslin said. “If you add it all up, I think it’s impacting the community. … You’ve got all of these low-income people relying on help from family who probably aren’t much better off than they are.”

UNMET EXPECTATIONS Goslin had an academic career that took him around the country until 2016, when he moved back to Cheboygan to help out his ailing mother and pitch in at his father’s Christmas tree farm.

He noticed immediately that the poverty level in Cheboygan is much higher than the college towns he was accustomed to living in. He also had concerns about Line 5, the oil pipeline that crosses the Mackinac Straits.

Goslin fell in with a group of Straits-area Democrats who had coalesced while working on candidate Joanne Galloway’s challenge to Lee Chatfield (R-Levering) (one that came up short; Chatfield was re-elected in 2018 by a comfortable margin). They stuck together after the election and started a group called Center for Change to advocate for progressive causes in northern Michigan.

“We all felt a little frustrated with Democratic politics locally; it seems to come together every two years around an election, and then people go back home,” Goslin said.

Goslin and some others in the group decided to visit Chatfield’s office hours in Indian River in December to talk about Line 5, but when they got there Chatfield was not in (Chatfield, amid the busy December

lame duck session, had sent an aide in his place). Nevertheless, as the group converged with others who had arrived to speak with Chatfield, another issue overshadowed immediate concerns about Line 5.

Three DHHS caseworkers had come to the meeting and said they wanted to talk about problems at their agency, problems sparked by changes enacted at the agency during Gov. Snyder’s last year in office that, in recent months, had caused major chaos for people in northern Michigan who need assistance.

“They talked about these immense problems in really stark terms,” Goslin said.

He was moved. He contacted Karen Martin, a fellow Center for Change member who used to work at the DHHS. “When he told me that these women were there, I was stunned,” Martin said. “That probably didn’t raise any alarm bells to anyone else. It did to me.”

State bureaucrats like DHHS social workers don’t show up at the office hours of their state reps to complain about state policies, she said. It just doesn’t happen. That it did happen, Martin said, meant something must be very, very wrong.

Martin said she called a person she knows who still works at DHHS to inquire how bad things really were. She said she was told the new system implemented at DHHS offices throughout northern Michigan was a disaster.

“It’s looking to me like there may be a long-range plan to reduce DHHS staff even more and let computers do more,” she said.

“They’re more like telemarketers now instead of caseworkers. They are taking the human part out of human services.”

Martin knows about being a frustrated caseworker at DHHS. She started at the agency in 1996 after getting a later-in-life college degree. She liked the work at first, but in 2008, after budget cuts and staff cutbacks, Martin resigned in protest.

“I still got all my work done all the time, but I couldn’t answer the phone anymore, and I felt really bad about it,” she said. “That’s what downsizing does. Something has to give, and for me it was phones.”

“LOOKING INTO IT” Goslin and Martin hope Gov. Whitmer and Gordan, the DHHS director Whitmer appointed, take notice and fix the problems.

They said they believe that the current system was set up to fail under Republican control because of conservatives’ disdain for welfare programs.

Wheaton, the DHHS spokesman, said the system was not designed to fail; it was meant to be more efficient.

Meanwhile, Goslin and Martin have been busy lobbying state lawmakers. They said their state senator, Wayne Schmidt (R-Traverse City) has attended meetings and listened.

And they finally tracked Chatfield down at an event in Petoskey in January and were able to express complaints about the system.

In a statement Chatfield sent Northern Express in response to questions about DHHS, he said: “Starting in December, a few local residents began reaching out with concerns about DHHS’s responsiveness. We have been meeting with those residents to collect their concerns and questions and making sure DHHS has all of that information so they can get to the bottom of it.”

Chatfield continued: “I’ve been communicating with DHHS about the concerns. DHHS has informed us they are on top of it and will be working on each individual case where there has been an issue once they have more information on specifics.

We are scheduling future meetings to check in on the department’s progress and get answers for the people who have called in.”

Chairperson for the DHHS labor management team for UAW Local 6000, Jim Walkowicz, said the problems at DHHS are bad, but he’s hopeful they can be fixed.

“I do think their system is screwed up, and it’s just not working, and it’s affecting the clients as well as employees,” Walkowicz said.

No one interviewed for this article was aware of an instance where someone lost heat or went without food because they couldn’t get emergency assistance in time, but DHHS critics believe something like that could happen this winter unless something changes.

“Given the number of citizens we deal with, I think it’s only a matter of time before it does happen,” Walkowicz said.

He said that word of the problems with the new system has gotten back to Lansing, and he hopes something can be done about it.

“They did say they are looking into it now.

The new director has said he is looking into it,” Walkowicz said. “He’s heard an earful about the universal caseload and what it means.”

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Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 11

Chef’s notes a local chef’s recipe we love, brought to you by fustini’s

When the weather is at its worst, there is nothing I want to do more than stand over a stove and cook simple, delicious comfort food. Nothing warms me up on a cold winter morning quite like mushroom toast. Warm mushrooms bathed in oil and herbs, resting on a crispy slice of bread, all topped by a beautiful sunny-side-up egg.

It’s the perfect dish to help you forget — for a while at least — what awaits outside.

— Chef Sam Brickman, Fustini’s, Traverse City

Mushroom Toast with Fried Egg

Chef Sam Brickman, Fustini’s, Traverse City Ingredients: • 1 lb. assorted mushrooms • 1 c. Fustini’s Single Varietal Extra Virgin Olive Oil • 1 bay leaf • 2 sprigs thyme • 1 sprig rosemary • 1 whole dry chili (medium heat) • 2 tbsp. Fustini’s Sherry Vinegar • salt and pepper, to taste • 4 slices bread (preferably sourdough) • 4 eggs • Optional: picked fresh Herbs, hot sauce Directions: 1. Clean mushrooms by quickly rinsing in cool water and immediately drying with a towel. Remove any tough stems or bruised spots, and cut into slightly larger than bite-size pieces (the mushrooms will shrink as they cook).

2. Combine olive oil, bay leaf, thyme, rosemary, and dry chili in a wide pot over medium heat. Heat oil to medium heat and add mushrooms; adjust heat to keep mushrooms at a very gentle sauté for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally until they have wilted slightly 3. Remove pot from the heat, stir in vinegar, and season with salt and pepper.

4. While mushrooms are cooking, place bread slices in toaster oven until golden brown, but not hard.

5. Remove bread from toaster and top with equal portions of mushrooms.

6. Heat residual oil from the mushroom pan over medium heat and fry eggs to your liking, then top each mushroom-covered toast slice with an egg. Finish with fresh herbs or hot sauce, and a drizzle of olive oil and sprinkle of salt, then enjoy.

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Ice Man We don’t recommend trying Russ Ryba’s fat-tire trek across the Straits’ ice bridge.

In fact, nobody does — except a growing cult of equally hard-core ice bikers.

By Craig Manning During most of the year, Mackinac Island is a busy, bustling tourist destination, sometimes seeing as many as 15,000 visitors in a single day. During the winter, though, the island is more or less left to the roughly 500 people who actually live there. As the Mackinac Straits freeze over and ferry schedules taper off, getting to the island becomes a challenge.

For Traverse City’s Russ Ryba, that “challenge” is an opportunity for grand adventure.

Most years, as the Mackinac Straits freeze over, an ice bridge forms from St. Ignace to Mackinac Island. Ryba, who grew up on the island, says it’s not uncommon for tourists and locals to cross the ice bridge, whether on snowmobiles or cross-country skis. His weapon of choice, however, is a fat tire bike.

He isn’t the only one. A few years ago, Ryba decided to try the bike ride to Mackinac Island for the first time. He came back from the trek armed with a collection of stunning photographs and stories to tell. Those stories spread on Facebook and through word-ofmouth, and before he knew it, Ryba found himself acting as an unofficial guide for other bikers wishing to cross the Straits in the winter.

“I’ve made a lot of friends doing it,” Ryba said. “When I did it the first time, I posted some pictures on Facebook, and a lot of people were like, ‘Hey, I want to do that too.’

So the next weekend I went, I reached out to those people. I think I ended up leading a group of 12 or 15 people, and I didn’t even know a bunch of them. They just showed up, and now we’re all good friends.”

Now, Ryba has a growing list of people he’s supposed to call if and when the ice bridge forms. Still, for the most part, the idea of crossing the straits on fat bike or snowmobile is not encouraged. Mackinac Island does not advertise or recommend the ice bridge to tourists, and the Coast Guard has cautioned that crossing the ice bridge is dangerous.

Ryba acknowledges that this type of trek is not without its risks. The ride itself is 5 to 7 miles one way, depending on points of departure and arrival. Ryba says the trip there is easier and safer, as riders usually tackle that part of the trip in the morning, when visibility conditions are good and temperatures are warmer. The winds on the Straits also tend to blow in a west-to-east direction, which means bikers traveling

Russ Ryba

from St. Ignace to Mackinac Island largely have the wind at their backs.

The return journey is dodgier. As the sun dips and temperatures drop, Ryba says it becomes much more brutal and much less safe to be out on the ice. To make matters more challenging, riding back means riding into a 10- to 20-mile-per-hour headwind.

The wind and the frigid temperatures combine with the inherent challenges of biking on ice and snow to create a journey that is not for the faint of heart.

“It’s really, really hard, the biking itself,” Ryba said. “Fat biking is a lot of friction.

It’s not like road biking. It’s constant work, and there’s no coasting. So you need to be fit enough to pedal for an hour or an hour and a half into a sustained headwind.”

Despite the challenges, Ryba loves making the journey, and most of his fellow riders do, too. Perks range from breathtaking photo opportunities to experiencing Mackinac Island with next to no tourists around. In particular, Ryba loves getting out on the ice and seeing the vast expanses of the frozen Straits stretching out in every direction.

“There’s really not much like it,” he said.

“You’re out on the ice, and the island is the closest thing to you. It’s like being out in the middle of a pure white desert. Once upon a time, I saw the sun set under the Mackinac Bridge, and that was amazing.”

So how can interested bikers, snowmobilers, or cross-country skiers find out when the St. Ignace-Mackinac Island ice bridge has formed? Ryba mostly counts on his relatives who live on the island for the go-ahead. Every year, the islanders collect their discarded Christmas trees at the back

of the island. As the Straits freeze, people go out on the ice and drill holes to test for depth. Each hole gets a Christmas tree, and the trees gradually form a trail out into the frozen expanse. He says a consistent line of trees into the distance means that the ice bridge has formed.

Interested parties can also learn about the state of the ice bridge online. On January

25, the Coast Guard issued a press release that it was closing the waters between St. Ignace and Mackinac Island for boats, “to facilitate the development of ice.” This announcement is likely a harbinger for the impending formation and opening of the ice bridge. What folks choose to do with that information … well, that’s up to them and their backbone to decide.

Tips for a Safe Crossing

visibility. Not only is it possible to get lost out on the ice, but snowmobilers can also be a huge danger if they can’t see you.

Anyone who attempts to cross the St. IgnaceMackinac Island ice bridge needs to understand the risks and prepare accordingly. Here are a few tips that Ryba recommends riders follow when preparing to make the trip for the first time:

• Mind the clock: Speaking of visibility, it’s important to keep daylight in mind for both legs of the trip. Ryba recommends departing the island no later than 4:30pm, allowing plenty of time to get back to St. Ignace before the sun sets.

• Have the right gear: It goes without saying that a fat tire bike is essential for this particular bike ride, but so is plenty of warm winter clothing. Hats, gloves, multiple layers of clothing, and even ski masks are a must.

Covering every patch of skin possible — especially for the return ride into the wind — is essential for an enjoyable, safe experience.

In particular, Ryba recommends Bar Mitts — a special brand of winter cycling gloves that affix to the handlebar.

• Don’t splash: Ride too fast through puddles on the ice, and you’ll end up splashing yourself or other riders. Being wet and cold out on the ice is dangerous and an easy way to guarantee a miserable trek, or risk hypothermia. To stay dry, Ryba recommends keeping an eye out for water buildups on the ice and significantly slowing down when going through them.

• Check the weather: Ryba cautions riders against attempting to cross the ice bridge during snowstorms or other times of low

• Don’t go it alone: A buddy system is smart for this type of trek — especially for first-timers.

Rather than try to cross the ice alone, recruit a few friends to join you. That way, if something goes wrong, there are people who can lend a hand or go find help.

Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 13

The Lazy Novice’s Guide to Ice fishing Cheap, easy, and immediate outdoor fun

By Ross Boissoneau When’s the best time to fish? Some will say a calm day. Some will suggest early morning; others, evening.

But many will tell you one of the North’s sweetest secrets: The best time to wet a line is in the dead of winter. No waves, no boats, and little to no noise to scare the fish away. Ice fishing makes all those problems irrelevant.

True, it requires different equipment.

You’re not going to stand on the end of the dock clad in shorts and T-shirt and cast 20 or 30 feet into open water. But the investment is typically less than what you’d spend in the summer — certainly less than a boat, motor, and trailer would run. And much less hassle.

“You don’t need much. You can go sit on a pickle bucket if it’s not too cold,” said Ken Fosmore of Glen Arbor. Fosmore has been fishing the Glen Lakes for most of his life.

Other basic equipment, besides a pickle bucket, of course, would include a fishing license, a pole and reel, maybe some tip-ups.

Bait or lures. And a means to chop a hole in the ice. If you want to get fancy, a soup ladle or handled sieve makes it easy to clear the icy shards from your ice hole. And, if you want to spend money, a shanty.

Chris Knaisel, owner of Pilgrim Village in Cadillac, gets into some specifics: “An 18- to 36inch rod with two- to four-pound test line. You should always have a spud [a potato-shaped weight used to break a hole into the ice]; an hand augur will run $50 to $100,” he said.

He said winter means the fish are less active, hence the lighter line. “Fish aren’t as aggressive. They’re more lethargic.”

Knaisel also touts the advantages of a power augur. They can run $400 to $500, though he said gas-powered augurs are becoming less common with the advent of conversion kits that allow one to use a cordless drill. “That’s becoming more and

more popular,” he said.

While not a requirement — sitting on a lawn chair on a sunny or windless day is common — staying warm and dry makes shanties appealing. “A shanty is really nice to have,” agreed Knaisel. They run the gamut, from permanent home-built structures that are typically towed out onto the lake, to lightweight and compact, tent-like popups that are easily assembled on the ice. “A lot of people like the pop-up style. They’re big enough for four people,” said Knaisel, adding that they run around $250.

Being able to sit around and fish with others adds to the camaraderie. Oft times that’s as much of the appeal as the fishing itself. “It’s communal. We all help each other and mentor others,” said Fosmore.

“It’s a really special thing. It’s a community, they all know each other,” said Chris Engle. The longtime fishing enthusiast has contributed to various newspapers and the Gaylord Chamber of Commerce website.

He said Otsego Lake draws the lion’s share of fishing enthusiasts in that area.

Digging in the ground for worms won’t work in the winter, so what for bait? Fosmore suggests jigs, Knaisel wax worms, or live bait, such as maggots or minnows, which you can buy at many area markets and gas stations (look for “Live Bait” or “Walt’s Crawlers” signs out front) or your local bait shop.

Dave Stepanovich of Young’s Bait Shop in Alanson said his shop’s artesian well used for holding the minnows is an advantage.

“It’s not city water. Some guys [who use the well water] keep them in buckets for five, seven days,” he said.

Then there’s technology: Lights, cameras, and hopefully action. Fish flashers use sonar to “see” fish and let the angler know what depth to fish at. Cameras give you a picture.

GPS devices can work with sonar, and can also guide you to the same exact location the

14 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

next day or week.

“GPS is one of the biggest gamechangers,” Knaisel said. “You can have a full contour map, know the depth, even if you’ve never been to the lake before. Cameras are fun, but I don’t know if they really help.

Flashers are easier.”

So are they catching fish? And if so, what kind? “It’s been a good year for ice fishing.

There was no snow at first and lots of ice,” said Stepanovich. He said Crooked Lake, Burt Lake and Pickerel Lake are typically the best lakes for fishing around his area, though Black Lake and Mullet Lake also are popular.

“Harbor Springs has been good. They’ve been getting a lot of perch out there.” Among his personal favorites: “I love burbot and pike.

There’s a nice backstrap of meat” on burbot.

While bass and sturgeon season are closed, most anything else is fair game right now, as long as it meets the species’ size requirement. Stepanovich said in addition to those mentioned above, people are catching rainbow and German brown trout.

Fosmore said perch and other panfish are the big draws on the two Glen Lakes.

Engle said Otsego Lake is full of walleye, pike, perch and bass. Smaller lakes in the southern part of the county have been stocked with trout, while Thumb Lake east of Boyne Falls has been stocked with splake by the DNR, a cross between brook and lake trout. “They’re pretty and fun to catch,” Engle said.

Knaisel said Lake Cadillac offers crappie in the middle of the lake. “Best of all, there’s never a small one,” he said. Across the road in Lake Mitchell, anglers may find some smaller crappie, but there’s plenty of bluegill, sunfish and pike.

In addition to the integration of technology, another recent change came in the form of a reduction in the number of fish that could be taken in a day. Fosmore said the

Ken Fosmore showcasing a not-too-shabby pull of walleye (front) and Northern pike from Glen Lake.

change in limit from 50 fish to 25 was long overdue. “My feeling is that it’s wonderful.

Nobody needs more than 25. Four guys fishing, 200 perch — that’s ridiculous. That’s depleting the stock.”

So all that to get ready to fish. But — why?

“If you don’t ski or snowboard, snowshoe or snowmobile, what will you do?” asked Engle.

“I was ice fishing before I could walk. My mom tells of my sleeping in a shanty. It was blown across the ice with my head poking out as she chased it.”

“You’ve got to get outdoors,” said Knaisel.

“You live here, you might as well make the most of it.”

GET. OUT. 10 reasons to get off the couch this winter

By Lynda Wheatley

L

ook, we like huddling up under a comforter by a roaring fire as much as the next guy. But by the end of a February filled with more blizzards, black ice, and school closures than you can shake a snow shovel at, stir crazy does starts to seem like a valid entry for the sixth edition of the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.” For the good of your mental health, resist yet another night of Netflix and pull yourself off the couch by your winter bootstraps. Despite these dark gray days, there’s fun to be had all around the North. Here’s where to find it: BAKE OFF THE COLD Harbor Springs Make like a clean-eating babushka and learn how to make a non-vodka tonic to get you through winter — a rustic Russian potato and mushroom soup — plus a roasted squash and apple soup, a loaf of honey oat bread, and cornmeal crescent rolls, all from scratch and all from My Sister’s Bake Shop in Harbor Springs. $45, 4pm–5:30pm Wednesday, Feb. 20. A Roll-With-It cinnamon rolls and pita bread class happens 4pm–5:30pm, Wednesday, Feb. 27. Sign up: (231) 838-3882.

BEER & A MOVIE Frankfort Frankfort’s Dark & Stormcloudy Series delivers the best in double-date potential, pairing a special Stormcloud beer with a Garden Theater film o’ the month through March. February partners Seeding Drawings, a dark, strong Belgian-style ale brewed with hemp hearts and toasted hemp seeds, and screenings of boundaries, a Seattle-to-L.A. road-trip for a single mom, her troubled son, and her trouble-maker dad (Christopher

Plummer), who just got kicked out of his retirement home and tries to help his grandson sell his marijuana load as they travel south. See it 7:30pm, Thursday, Feb. 21. Can’t make it?

Hearts Beat Loud, a comedy (co-starring Nick Offerman) about a dad-daughter musical act that hits it big, is paired in March with Rock Star Action Plan, a Belgian-style ale brewed with strawberries and chocolate. Shows March 14, 21 at 7:30pm; March 17 at 2pm. $10 gets you the movie and a $5 Stormcloud token. www.frankfortgardentheater.com, www. stormcloudbrewing.com.

SCHOOL’S CLOSED, BOWLING IS OPEN Grawn Hey, crazed Grand Traverse Country area parents: Did you know that any time schools are closed for a snow day, Incredible Mo’s offers one-dollar games of bowling all day? Sunday nights, 7pm–11pm only, brings great deals too: $15 per person for unlimited bowling, laser tag, laser maze, and Juke N Box, plus $2.95 off a large artisan pizza, $1 domestic drafts and ½ price well drinks.

(231) 944-1355, www.incrediblemos.com CHEAP-SKI Bellaire If ever there was a reason to try skiing, Schuss Mountain’s Super Sundays are it. For just $29, you can get a noon-to-close full access lift ticket, rental equipment, and a station-bystation lesson. www.shantycreek.com FULL-MOON SNOWSHOE Grayling Head on over to Hartwick Pines State Park by 8pm for a two-hour, two-mile snowshoe hike (or less; all ages and abilities are welcome) atop unbroken snow lit by the light of the full moon on Feb. 22. (It’s a lot

brighter than you’d think.) Still scared of the dark? Go Feb. 23 instead. Guided snowshoe hikes into the park’s towering old growth pine forest are offered at 10am and 1pm.

Some snowshoes are available to borrow; preregistration a must. (989) 348-2537, www.michigan.gov.

CHEESE, PLEASE Traverse City You know what pairs well with snow?

With beer? With anything? Cheese. Thanks, then, to Earthern Ales, which has tapped into our mammalian need for a winterhibernation layer and poured forth several dairy-heavy options to see us through to spring. At 7pm Friday, Feb. 22 and March 22, you’ll be treated to a flight of four Earthen Ales beers with cheese pairings selected by The Cheese Lady ($15). On Friday, March 8, she’s coming back to the ale house to make you some mind-blowing grilled cheeses from 6pm to 8pm. Belly up, Butter Ball; it’ll be so worth it. Get tickets at www. earthenales.com.

GET GLOWING WITH THE GIRLS Boyne City Gather at least eight of your pastiest girlfriends in Boyne City for a “Sip and Spray” party with Sage Wellness Studio. For just $25 a guest (yours free, if you host), you’ll each receive a professional spray tan and a glass of wine. The two-hour party is held at your home or party location of your choice. Age 21+ only. Book at www. sagewellnessstudio.com.

ESCAPE TO UKETOPIA Cadillac Ukulele guru Frank Youngman will teach you the ropes — er, mostly cords and

strums — to get you playing your bought or borrowed ukulele in just four weeks or fewer. His Beginning Ukelele class runs for four Mondays, but it’s not necessary to attend all four. Enroll for any or all of the $15 classes — held 7pm to 8:30pm Feb. 18 through March 11 at Up North Arts, 601 Chestnut St. in Cadillac — by visiting www. upnorthartsinc.com.

TOAST IN AN IGLOO Petoskey and Suttons Bay The best way we know to stay warm while keeping your craft beer cold: sipping one while you’re tucked inside a furnished igloo under glowing lights. Petoskey Brewing Company (1844 M-119 HarborPetoskey Road, (231) 753-2057) and Hop Lot Brewery (658 S W Bay Shore Dr. in Suttons Bay, (231)866-4445) both have a bunch. Reservations are required.

RENT A SLED Gaylord They don’t call Gaylord one of the best snowmobile destinations in Michigan for nothin’. Besides sitting smack dab in the center of a major snowbelt, the central city perches at one end of the gorgeous 62-mile North Central State Trail, which runs through many a forest, farm, and wee hamlet, all the way to the Straits of Mackinaw. Even if you don’t own a sled, if you’re a Michigander, it’s mandatory that you ride one at least once. That said, bundle up the fam and rent a couple singles or doubles for the weekend at one of Gaylord’s sled shops. Two to try: DerMiner’s Parkside Market, (989) 7057051, www.uprental.com; or the Sled Shed, (989) 731-2858, www.sledshed.net. Trail suggestions at www.gaylordmichigan.net.

Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 15

For Traverse City area news and events, visit TraverseTicker.com

Regina Carter Bringing Ella Fitzgerald Alive at COH Jazz violinist and vocalist to resurrect many of Lady Ella’s lesser-known songs

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Renowned violinist Regina Carter has found inspiration in what might appear to be an unusual place: a vocalist.

Though in the case of a jazz musician, it’s hard to get much better inspiration than from Ella Fitzgerald.

Carter’s latest album, Ella: Accentuate the Positive, features songs jazz legend Fitzgerald sang during her life. Carter will play material from the album as well as other tunes on her “Simply Ella” tour, which comes to the City Opera House Feb. 23. Northern Express called up Carter, a native Michigander, to talk about what brought her to music and this place in her career.

DETROIT DAYS Music was always around the Carter home, from the Beatles to Motown, classical to show tunes. Young Regina would pull albums at random from her parents’ record collection to listen to.

“I’d just pick up up a record. South Pacific, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald,” said Carter. For Carter, the fascination with “the first lady of song” started early and never went away. Something about Fitzgerald’s voice made her feel like there was a personal connection, Carter says in her online bio.

“When she sang, I felt really warm and safe, almost a maternal connection.”

But why violin? Carter grew up in Detroit, where she showed a precocious musical ability. At two, she heard her older brother playing piano, then went to the piano and played it herself. By four she was enrolled in a Suzuki strings class.

So violin, but that begs the question: Why jazz? While there are some well-known jazz violinists — Jean-Luc Ponty and Stephane Grapelli come readily to mind — the genre

16 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

is much better known for its horn players and pianists. But Carter’s musical fate was sealed when her close friend, vocalist Carla Cook, introduced her to jazz. She began listening to Ponty, Grapelli and Noel Pointer, the three violinists she credits as her main inspirations.

Carter has continued to expand her prowess and her musical palette. She has performed or recorded with everyone from Mary J. Blige to Billy Joel to Dolly Parton, as well as jazz stalwarts like Ray Brown, Kenny Barron, and Fred Hersch. She’s recorded 10 albums as a leader or co-leader and received a MacArthur genius grant in 2006.

B-SIDES When it came to Ella, Carter decided to eschew many of the songs most readily associated with Fitzgerald, other than the title track. For one thing, she’d recorded some of them previously, such as “Oh, Lady Be Good” and “A-Tisket, A-Tasket.” She also admits she wanted to stand out from the crowd, on the occasion of the 100th year of Fitzgerald’s birth (who was born in 1917).

“I knew several people would do tribute records for her. I didn’t want to do the same songs as all the others. Why not record songs (other than the hits)? I call it my B-side record,” Carter said with a laugh.

That’s an apt description, as among the tunes on Ella is “Crying in the Chapel.” A hit for the 50s R&B group the Orioles, it was also recorded by the likes of Elvis Presley and Bob Marley. Fitzgerald recorded it as the flipside of “When the Hands of the Clock Pray at Midnight.”

“One I couldn’t find a record of was the Hoagy Carmichael song ‘Judy,’ though it put her on the map. Choosing tunes most people didn’t know gave me more liberty,” Carter said.

Carter said Fitzgerald’s technique never

got in the way of the song. “I can always hear the tune, even though she could do so much stylistically.”

Growing up in Detroit, Carter attended Cass Tech, known for its contributions to the music industry. She also was mentored by some of the Motor City’s prominent jazz performers.

“No matter what, education is important.

Detroit had such a thriving jazz scene — Lyman Woodard, Marcus Belgrave, and on and on.”

JAZZ WOMEN WANTED Carter is cognizant that just as her chosen instrument is not the norm in jazz circles, there are also far fewer women than men in the jazz ranks. While there have always been female jazz singers like Fitzgerald, or those like Cécile McLorin Salvant or Jazzmeia Horn today, Carter believes it is important to support instrumentalists as well, mentioning people like saxophonists Roxy Coss and Camille Thurman (the latter of whom also sings). “It’s inspiring to see young girls. It’s a male-dominated industry. You might be the only girl in a band. But there are a lot of young women forming support groups,” she said.

Whether playing music associated with Ella Fitzgerald or original tunes, Carter said the key is connecting with the audience. “It’s important to communicate to the audience.

I want to make that connection — it’s not playing at people, it’s playing for them.”

In concert on the Simply Ella tour, Carter engages the audience not only with her playing but by showing and playing samples of Fitzgerald’s music. “So they can see what it sounded like,” she said.

Joining Carter will be Marvin Sewell on guitar, Xavier Davis on piano, Chris Lightcap on bass, and Alvester Garnett on drums. For tickets, call (231) 941–8082 or go to www. cityoperahouse.org.

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Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 17

feb 16

saturday

GLEN LAKE WINTERFEST: Featuring a perch fishing contest & chili cook-off. Find on Facebook.

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FROZEN TORCH 5K SNOWSHOE RACE & WINTER CARNIVAL: 8am-1pm, Camp Hayo-Went-Ha, Central Lake. YMCA Camp Hayo-Went-Ha’s annual snowshoe race will be followed by the Winter Carnival. The carnival is free & includes a zip line, climbing tower, arts & crafts & more. Race: $20 advance; $25 day of. Find on Facebook.

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INTERLOCHEN CHAMBER OF COMMERCE BREAKFAST: 8am, Hofbrau Steakhouse, Interlochen. Proceeds help fund projects throughout the year for the Chamber. interlochenchamber.org

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DOWNTOWN CHARLEVOIX INDOOR SIDEWALK SALES: Feb. 15-18.

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FIRE & ICE: Pond Hill Farm, Harbor Springs.

Enjoy a trailside bonfire with wine & beer tasting & marshmallow roasting from 12-2pm; Gnome House Hunt from 9am-6pm; sledding; Children’s Biathlon at 11:30am; Snowshoe Biathlon at noon; X-Country Ski Biathlon at 1pm; Fat Tire Bike Biathlon at 2pm; & Snowman Explosion at 3:15pm. pondhill.com

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PRESIDENTS’ WEEKEND AT BOYNE HIGHLANDS RESORT, HARBOR SPRINGS: Feb. 15-17. Includes a costume contest, Rail Jam, Snow Globe Ski & Snowshoe, Treasure Hunt, live music by Union Guns, Chili Cook off, & Murder Mystery Dinner. boynehighlands.com

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25 CENT KIDS MATINEES: 10am, State Theatre, TC. Featuring “Pick of the Litter.” stateandbijou.org/calendar

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BETSIE BAY FROZEN 5K: 10am. For runners who are willing to face 10-degree temperatures & 30-mph gusts off Lake Michigan. The course starts at the top of Elberta’s lookout of Lake Michigan & continues down the hill through Elberta, around the bend, along Betsie Bay via scenic M-22, & then heads into Frankfort at Main St., with a finish at the other end of downtown, just before you reach the lighthouse.

Bussing will be provided to the start line. $20. facebook.com/BetsieBayFrozen5k

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BREAKOUT FOR TEENS: 10am, Peninsula Community Library, Old Mission Peninsula School, TC. Teens (13 +) team up with Marla Gerber to solve the Escape Room in a box. BreakoutEDU is a game that will have them thinking critically, problem-solving, troubleshooting, working collaboratively & having fun. Please RSVP by 2/15. Free. peninsulacommunitylibrary.org

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CARDBOARD SLED MAKING WORKSHOP: 10am-5pm, Petoskey District Library Classroom, Petoskey. Build your own cardboard sled to compete in the Winter Sports Park Cardboard Sled challenge during Winter Carnival. petoskeydowntown.com/downtown-events/ winter-carnival

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GREEN POINT DUNES WINTER HIKE: 10am, Green Point Dunes Nature Preserve, Frankfort.

Participants will learn about the property, check out tree species & look for animal tracks. This is a strenuous hike on steep terrain - come prepared with all of your own winter gear, water & a snack. gtrlc.org

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KNEE HIGH NATURALIST: WINTER WONDERLAND: 10-11am, Round Lake Nature Preserve, Harbor Springs. For 3-5 year olds. Enjoy a walk through the woods as you gather materials to create your very own nature snowmen, look up close at snowflakes, & discover what stories are left behind in the snow. Free. landtrust.org

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ROMANCING THE RIESLING: 10am-5pm, Wineries of Old Mission Peninsula. Winer-

ies will showcase Rieslings (and they will be served in a souvenir wine glass), food pairings & deals on Riesling varieties. $30 advance, $35 day of, $25 designated driver. wineriesofomp. com/46/romancing-the-riesling

february

16-24

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WALK 4 WARMTH: Enjoy a super-hero themed walk through downtown Cheboygan, with food, music & other activities along the route. All donations go towards the United Way Walk 4 Warmth fund, which provides heating assistance to Cheboygan County residents in need. Walk starts at the Eagles Hall (626 N. Main St., Cheboygan).

Registration: 9am; walk: 10am. Donation. cheboygancountyunitedway.org

send your dates to: events@traverseticker.com

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WINTER OUTDOOR FUN DAY: 10am-1pm, Otsego Environmental Learning Site & Nature Cabin, Gaylord. For children birth to eight, with parents/caregivers. Older siblings welcome too.

Includes snowshoeing, nature hikes & exploring, sled rides on the trails, snow mazes, angels, games, bonfire & more. Find on Facebook. Free.

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WINTERLOCHEN WITH BROTHA JAMES: 10am-3pm, Interlochen. Interlochen’s annual family-friendly outdoor festival celebrating all things winter. Featuring a full day of hands-on experiences, a variety of indoor & outdoor activities, performances & workshops. Held in Corson Auditorium will be an afternoon performance by brotha James, a solo musical performer who does “live looping,” which is layering recorded sounds on top of each other to create a full band effect. Free. tickets.interlochen.org

The 7th Annual Dogman Challenge Fat Bike Race will be held on the trails of Mt. McSauba Recreation Area and North Point Nature Preserve in Charlevoix on Sat., Feb. 23, beginning at noon. The riders to complete the most laps in two hours on a 1.8 mile loop of rolling and wooded terrain win medals and cash prizes. The after party and awards ceremony will be held at Lake Charlevoix Brewing Co. at 4pm. dogmanchallenge.net

ARTS IN ACTION: HARMONICA WITH MARITIME HERITAGE ALLIANCE: 10:30am, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. The Amazing Free Harmonica Class. All ages welcome. You will be given a harmonica to keep & will be taught how to play it. Find on Facebook.

ing on weather, the group may carpool to other nearby locations, so plan to be flexible. Optional post-field-trip gathering for refreshments & birding stories at a local establishment. Free. benzieaudubon.org

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25 CENT FAMILY FAVORITES: 11am, The Lyric, Harbor Springs. Featuring “My Friend Flicka.” lyricharborsprings.org

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VINE TO WINE SNOWSHOE TOUR: 11am-4pm.

A snowshoe hike with guides, stopping at Suttons Bay Ciders, Ciccone Vineyards & BigLittle Wines.

Enjoy a lunch of chili & soups with wine purchase pick up service. Tour starts at BigLittle & L. Mawby Vineyards, Suttons Bay. $55. grandtraversebiketours.com/vine-to-wine-snowshoe-tour.html

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GT DEMOCRATS’ WINTER RALLY: 6-9pm, GT Resort & Spa, Acme. Featuring Brianna Scott, Jon Hoadley, Betsy Coffia, Bryce Hundley & Paul Kanan. There will be live music by The Lookout Cats Duo. Participants are encouraged to bring a donation for the TC High School Food Pantry.

A suggested donation of $20 is also appreciated.

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WINTER CARNIVAL: Downtown Petoskey, Feb. 14-17. Enjoy winter activities, along with ice sculptures displayed on downtown sidewalks & in Pennsylvania Park. petoskeydowntown.com/downtown-events/winter-carnival

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“YOU’RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN”: 7pm, St. Francis High School Auditorium, TC. $17/adult; $12/student or senior. mynorthtickets.com

BENZIE COUNTY WATER FESTIVAL: LEGO SATURDAY: 12-2:30pm, Benzonia Public Library. Build your own boat, watercraft or sea creature. water-festival.org FREE ICE FISHING DAY FOR KIDS AT CAMP PET-O-SE-GA, ALANSON: 12-4pm. For kids in kindergarten through 8th grade & their parents.

Food & fishing gear is supplied. If the outside temperature (including wind chill factor) is below zero degrees, the event will be held on Sun., Feb. 17. There will also be a Snowman Building Competition by the Rec. Hal. Find on Facebook.

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SNOWSHOES, VINES & WINES: 12-5pm, Black Star Farms, Suttons Bay. blackstarfarms. com/snowshoes-vines-wines

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TRAVERSE AREA HISTORICAL SOCIETY PROGRAM: 1pm, Traverse Area District Library, McGuire Community Room, TC. Brian McCall will present “WW1, Christmas Truce of 1914.” 995-0313.

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CHILI-COOK OFF: 2pm, Downtown Elk Rapids. Tickets are available at the Elk Rapids Area Chamber of Commerce, Nifty Things, Cellar 152, & the Elk Rapids EZ Mart. Sample each competing chili prepared by Downtown Elk Rapids merchants & restaurants. Once you’ve tried them all, cast your vote for fan favorite. $4 advance; $5 day of. Find on Facebook.

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BENZIE AUDUBON CLUB FIELD TRIP: 4pm. You will be looking for waterfowl. Doug Cook will lead & help identify birds. Meet at Logan’s Landing off Airport Rd. in TC. Depend-

18 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

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VALENTINE’S DANCE: 7pm, The Rock of Kingsley. Open to those in grades 6-12 & parent volunteers. Enjoy dancing, contests & prizes. $3/person. facebook.com/pg/therockofkingsleyMI/events

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“SYLVIA”: 7:30pm, Old Town Playhouse Studio Theatre @ the Depot, TC. Enjoy this comedy about a marriage & a dog. $17. oldtownplayhouse.com

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“TOWN CAR FOR SALE”: 7:30pm, Old Town Playhouse, Schmuckal Theatre, TC. oldtownplayhouse.com

CAPITOL STEPS: 8pm, Great Lakes Center for the Arts, Bay Harbor. The group that puts the “mock” in Democracy. The Capitol Steps have recorded over 35 albums, including their latest, “Make America Grin Again.” No matter who or what is in the headlines, you can bet the Capitol Steps will tackle both sides of the political spectrum & all things equally foolish. $45, $40, $30, $20. greatlakescfa.org/event-detail/capitol-steps

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FUNNY BUSINESS COMEDY SHOW: 8pm, Odawa Casino, Petoskey. Featuring nationally recognized comedians. 21+. $5 per person. odawacasino.com

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MICHAEL CLEVELAND & FLAMEKEEPER: 8pm, Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. This premier bluegrass fiddler has ten International Bluegrass Music Association (IBMA) Fiddle Player of the Year awards under his belt. He brings his band Flamekeeper. $24 members, $27 advance & $30 door. mynorthtickets.com/ events/michael-cleveland

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PRESIDENTS’ WEEKEND FIREWORKS: 9pm, Boyne Mountain Resort, Boyne Falls.

Best viewed from the base area in front of Clock Tower Lodge. Free. boynemountain.com

feb 17

sunday

DOWNTOWN CHARLEVOIX INDOOR SIDEWALK SALES: Feb. 15-18.

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PRESIDENTS’ WEEKEND AT BOYNE HIGHLANDS RESORT, HARBOR SPRINGS: (See Sat., Feb. 16)

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YOGA RECOVERY AT RUNNING FIT: 9:30am, Running Fit, downtown TC. A 50 minute, all-levels class designed to enhance recovery for athletic performance. The goal is to build strength, flexibility, focusing on lengthening tight hamstrings, calves, quadriceps & hip flexors. Donations appreciated. eventbrite.com

BLISSFEST FOLK & ROOTS MINI CONCERT SERIES FEATURING NORTHERN MI SINGER/SONGWRITERS: 7:30pm, Red Sky Stage, Petoskey. February Sunshine Concert.

Includes Kevin Johnson, Eliza Thorp, Indigo Moon, & Lara Fullford. $12.50 advance; $17.50 door. redskystage.com PETOSKEY FILM SERIES: “BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY”: 7:30pm, Petoskey District Library, Carnegie Building. Donations appreciated. facebook.com/petoskeyfilm

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AMERICA: 8pm, Little River Casino Resort, Manistee. Enjoy this Grammy Award-winning rock band. $35, $45, $50. lrcr.com/event-calendar/concerts/america

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SUCCULENTS & BRUNCH: 10am-2pm. Join The Leelanau Plant Co. in the Yurt at The Little Fleet, TC after grabbing brunch from Glendale Ave inside. The DIY Succulent Bar includes everything you need to create your own succulent arrangement, including guidance from the Plant Co. ladies. Free. leelanauplantco.com/ events-1/diy-succulent-bar-in-the-yurt-2

NORTHERN MI WEDDING & EVENT EXPO: 11am-3pm, The Ellison Place, Gaylord. Featuring a fashion show, live music & grand prize drawing. miweddingexpo.com

---------------------10TH ANNUAL HAVE A HEART VALENTINE’S BENEFIT: 12-9pm, Emmet County Community Center, Petoskey. Benefits Brother Dan’s Food Pantry. Featuring live music by Crosscut Kings, Craig Cottrill Band, James Greenway Band, Northern Nites, Pistil Whips, Jelly Roll Blues Band, Easy Picks, & Jon Archambault Band. $15; 14 & under, free.

---------------------MACKINAW CITY BRIDAL SHOW: 12-3pm, Audie’s Restaurant, Mackinaw City. Featuring dozens of local wedding professionals. Enjoy refreshments & samples & enter to win prizes.

Free admission for brides & their guests. audies.com/mackinaw-city-bridal-show

---------------------SNOWSHOES, VINES & WINES: (See Sat., Feb. 16)

---------------------YOGA + BEER: Noon, Silver Spruce Brewing Co., TC. A one hour flow class. Bring your own mat. Donations appreciated. eventbrite.com

---------------------PAINTBALL BIATHLON: 1-3pm, Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. Combine paintball & cross-country skiing to create the Paintball Biathlon. Ages 8+. Cost: $15 per person. Includes cross-country ski equipment rental & paintball equipment. 888-968-7686, ext. 4000. crystalmountain.com/event/biathlon

---------------------“TOWN CAR FOR SALE”: 2pm, Old Town Playhouse, Schmuckal Theatre, TC. oldtownplayhouse.com

GoodGrief@MyMichaelsPlace.net Free. mymichaelsplace.net/support-group-programs

---------------------MOVIE MONDAYS: ART & DESIGN FILMS: 5:30pm, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Petoskey.

Featuring “Tim’s Vermeer,” a documentary film that focuses on inventor Tim Jenison’s efforts to duplicate the painting techniques of Johannes Vermeer in order to test his theory that Vermeer painted with the help of optical devices. A discussion will follow the film. crookedtree.org

---------------------WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER PARENTING PROGRAM: 5:30pm, Leland Township Library, Munnecke Room. Arden Wilson will discuss some of the challenges caregivers face during a presentation on the social-emotional development of children. Children are welcome. Snacks & crafts supplies will be provided. Free. lelandlibrary.org

---------------------HERE:SAY PRESENTS: IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH: 7pm, The Workshop Brewing Co., TC. Listen as scheduled performers take the stage to tell true stories about sickness & health. Suggested $7 donation. Find on Facebook.

feb 19

tuesday

COFFEE @ TEN TALK, TC: 10am, Crooked Tree Arts Center, TC. Meet Michigan Legacy Art Park’s new executive director, Joe Beyer. Part of Crooked Tree Art Center’s free monthly lecture series. crookedtree.org

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COFFEE @ TEN, PETOSKEY: 10am, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Petoskey. “Cuba through a Photographer’s Eye with Rob Harold and Hal Willens.” Free. crookedtree.org

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GET CRAFTY: Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Explore the effects of gravity on paint, & create a cherry blossom tree. Held at 11am & 2pm. greatlakeskids.org/news-events

“YOU’RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN”: 2pm, St. Francis High School Auditorium, TC. $17/adult; $12/student or senior. mynorthtickets.com NMC CHAMBER SINGERS, GRAND TRAVERSE CHORALE & NMC CHILDREN’S CHOIRS: 3-6pm, Lars Hockstad Auditorium, TC. $15 adults, $10 students & seniors, $45 family. mynorthtickets.com/events/NMCChoirs-concert-feb

---------------------TSO CONCERTO FOR PIANO, LEFT HAND: 3pm, Interlochen Center for the Arts, Corson Auditorium. Featuring Kevin Rhodes, music director. Includes local pianist Michael Coonrod on the world premier of Kenji Bunch’s Concerto for Piano Left Hand. The Symphony will also perform Beethoven’s Egmont Overture and Symphony No. 3 (Eroica). Tickets are $28-$65. Students & first-time attendees eligible for a 50% discount. traversesymphony.org/concert/beethoven-bunch

---------------------WINTER CARNIVAL: (See Sat., Feb. 16)

feb 18

monday

DOWNTOWN CHARLEVOIX INDOOR SIDEWALK SALES: Feb. 15-18.

--------------

SEN. SCHMIDT TO HOST FEBRUARY COFFEE HOURS: 10-11am, Elk Rapids District Library.

Open to constituents throughout the 37th Senate District. The senator will be available to answer questions & provide info. senatorwayneschmidt.com

---------------------ANTRIM COUNTY WOMEN DEMS & FRIENDS MEETING: Noon, Torch Lake Cafe, Central Lake. Featuring speakers from the DEQ: Abigail Hendershott & Randy Rothe.

Cost for the luncheon is $13.50. RSVP: chrisandglennh@gmail.com

---------------------BEREAVED PARENT SUPPORT GROUP: 5:30pm, Michael’s Place, 1212 Veterans Dr., TC. Held the first & third Mondays of each month. Open to any parent who has experienced the loss of a child. 947-6453 or

------------------------------------------TEEN GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP: Michael’s Place, 1212 Veterans Dr., TC. First & third Tuesdays of each month from 4-5pm. Open to teens who have experienced the death of a loved one.

947-6453 or goodgrief@mymichaelsplace.net Free. mymichaelsplace.net/teen-support-group

---------------------DETOX YOGA FLOW: 6:15pm, Press On Juice Cafe, TC. This one hour class involves a lot of twists & poses to help eliminate toxins from the body through movement & breath. Bring your own mat. Donations appreciated. eventbrite.com

---------------------“OUR ADULT CHILDREN WITH ASPERGER’S”: 6:30pm, TC. NW Michigan NT Support Parent Group meeting. The exact TC location is provided when the neurotypical family member joins the NW Michigan NT Support group at tinyurl.com/joinnwmints or contacts Nan Meyers at 231-631-8343 or nwmints@gmail.com before noon on the meeting day.

---------------------GTHC FEBRUARY PROGRAM: 7pm, Boardman River Nature Center, TC. Huron Manistee National Forest & Leave No Trace. Jon Thompson will be discussing recreation & conservation opportunities in the Huron Manistee National Forest. Free. facebook.com/GTHikers

---------------------LAKE SUPERIOR SOLO: 1,000 MILE KAYAKING ADVENTURE: 7pm, Petoskey District Library, Carnegie Building. Tom Renkes decided the best way to celebrate his 60th birthday was to embark on a 1,000 mile solo adventure kayaking Lake Superior. Tom will have all of his gear with him to show what he brought & how he packed it into his kayak during the trip. petoskeylibrary.org

feb 20

wednesday

HEART HEALTH & YOU: 12:30pm, The Rock of Kingsley. Join Dr. Mary Beth Hardwicke as she discusses heart

Michigan. Free. mclaren.org/northernmichigan/ health-month.aspx

disease & strokes, along with what you can do to keep your heart healthy. An optional lunch is served at noon. Cost: $3 for 60+; $5 all others.

Must register in advance: 922-2080. grandtraverse.org/712/Senior-Centers

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FRONT STREET FOUNDATION’S MONEY SERIES: ESTATE PLANNING FOR YOUR LONG-TERM CARE: 1:30pm, Leland Township Library, Munnecke Room. Presented by Diana Kuhn Huff of Stephen & Anderson PLC. Call 231-256-9152 or visit moneyseries.org to register. Free. lelandlibrary.org

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---------------------LEARNING FOR LONGEVITY: LOVE YOUR HEART!: 1:30-3pm, MCHC, rooms A&B, TC. The Munson Community Health Library is hosting this program with Carolyn Kelly, RN, MSN. 935-9265. Free. munsonhealthcare.org

---------------------GAYLORD BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5-7pm, Bill Marsh Ford of Gaylord. Enjoy food, refreshments, give aways & more. $5 members; $10 not-yet members. gaylordchamber.com

---------------------IMPACT 100 TC MEMBERSHIP RECRUITMENT SOCIAL: 5:30-7pm, Leland Lodge. Meet women committed to making a collective philanthropic impact on the community. Open to all women who give $1,000 - 100% of which will be given to non-profits in the five county area. Free.

---------------------SAILORS A’SHORE: 6pm, Little Bohemia, TC. Presented by Maritime Heritage Alliance, this is a monthly gathering for members of the local sailing & boating community. Free.

feb 21

thursday

NMC BLACK STUDENT UNION FESTIVAL: NMC, TC, Feb. 21-24. BSUFest is to be a black cultural campus festival bringing progressive black businesses & colleges to campuses to bring opportunities for minority students, especially students of color, featuring guest speakers & performances. Find on Facebook.

---------------------INTERACTIVE STORYTIME: 11am, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Featuring “The Mitten”

by Jan Brett. greatlakeskids.org/news-events

---------------------HEART HEALTH & YOU: 12:30pm, Golden Fellowship Hall, Interlochen. Join Dr. Mary Beth Hardwicke as she discusses heart disease & strokes, along with what you can do to keep your heart healthy. An optional lunch is served at noon. Cost: $3 for 60+; $5 all others. Must register in advance: 922-2080. grandtraverse. org/712/Senior-Centers

---------------------FREE HEART MONTH ACTIVITIES: 1-2pm, The Friendship Center of Harbor Springs.

“Sleep & Your Heart Health.” Presented by McLaren Northern Michigan. mclaren.org/ northernmichigan/health-month.aspx

---------------------BENZIE BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5-7pm, Grow Benzie Inc., Benzonia. Featuring Mardi Gras music, festive hors-d’oeuvres & beverages, & more. $5.

---------------------KIDS EVENT WITH TAMMI SAUER: 5-6:30pm, McLean & Eakin Booksellers, Petoskey. Tammi will discuss her latest book, “Wordy Birdy Meets Mr. Cougarpants.” Free. mcleanandeakin.com/ event/tammi-sauer

---------------------IMPACT 100 TC MEMBERSHIP RECRUITMENT - LAST CALL: 5:30-7pm, Harringtons

By The Bay, TC. Meet women committed to making a collective philanthropic impact on the community. Open to all women who give $1,000 - 100% of which will be given to nonprofits in the five county area. Free.

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MEDITERRANEAN HEART HEALTHY SNACKS COOKING DEMONSTRATION: 5:30-7pm, Cheboygan Community Medical Center. Presented by McLaren Northern

NORTHLAND WEAVERS & FIBER ARTS GUILD MEETING: 5:30pm, TC Senior Center.

Members will show their latest fiber creations & there will be a brainstorming session to develop plans for upcoming Guild projects. Free. northlandweaversguild.com TC COAST GUARD AUXILIARY TEACHES COLD WATER SAFETY: 5:30pm, Irish Boat Shop, TC. This is part of the Ladies at the Helm series designed to introduce, educate & empower women in the boating world. Register: 231-242-1922.

---------------------CHINESE NEW YEAR PARTY: 5:45pm, Crawford County Commission on Aging & Senior Center, Grayling. Enjoy an evening of fresh flower arrangement giveaways, Bean Bag Toss, Chop Sticks & Marshmallows, Chinese Head Bands & Dragons. 989-348-7123.

---------------------INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS FORUM LECTURE: 6pm, Dennos Museum Center, Milliken Auditorium, NMC, TC. “Trashing the Planet: Mountains of Garbage with no Place to Go.” Featuring speaker J.D. Lindeberg, president, Recycling Resources Systems. $15. tciaf.com

---------------------DETOX YOGA FLOW: (See Tues., Feb. 19) ---------------------GAME NIGHT: 7pm, NCMC, Student & Community Resource Center, Iron Horse Café, Petoskey. An all-day special event will be held on Sat., April 27 from 10am-midnight to celebrate International Tabletop Day with prizes, food & more. 231-439-6370. Free.

---------------------LEELANAU SHIPWRECKS BY STEF STALEY: 7pm, Great Lakes Maritime Academy, TC. Learn about the 14 shipwrecks from Northport to Cathead Bay & Cathead Pt. Suggested donation: $5 adults, $3 kids. 231-386-7195.

---------------------FREE DEMONSTRATION COOKING CLASSES: 7:30pm, Oryana Community Co-op Café, TC. Feb. 21: Beans, Grains & Bone Broth. eventbrite.com

feb 22

friday

NMC BLACK STUDENT UNION FESTIVAL: (See Thurs., Feb. 21)

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DISCOVER WITH ME: GROCERY STORE: 10am-noon, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Play food & play money will make this trip to the museum grocery store a great chance for dramatic play. greatlakeskids.org/news-events

---------------------HORIZON BOOKS, TC EVENTS: 10-11am: Story Hour - Cats. 8:30-10:30pm: Live Music with Jim Crockett Trio. horizonbooks.com

---------------------STORYTIME AT LELAND TOWNSHIP LIBRARY: 10:30am. Stories & play designed to promote joy & growth in literacy. Children ages 0-6 & their caregivers welcome. Free. lelandlibrary.org

---------------------SEN. SCHMIDT TO HOST FEBRUARY COFFEE HOURS: 1-2pm, Petoskey City Hall. Open to constituents throughout the 37th Senate District. The senator will be available to answer questions & provide info. senatorwayneschmidt.com

---------------------38TH ANNUAL SNO-BLAST: East Jordan, Feb. 22-24. Today includes the ORV Club Taco Dinner, Crowning of Winter Knight & Belle of the Blizzard, & Snowmobile Safari Ride. facebook.com/EastJordanSnoBlast

---------------------CANDLELIGHT HIKE: 5-8pm, Mt. McSauba, sledding hill parking lot, Charlevoix. Presented

by Charlevoix Recreation & Visit Charlevoix.

Enjoy snowshoeing, hiking or cross-country

Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 19

skiing on candle-lit trails. Enjoy hot chocolate by a fire afterwards.

yours: 989-731-0573. $5 per vehicle - Forest Service access fee.

6TH ANNUAL PINK WEEKEND: Boyne Highlands, Harbor Springs, Feb. 22-24. A weekend of community support for breast cancer awareness & detection benefiting the Kathleen Jontz Breast Health Fund, administered by the McLaren Northern Michigan Foundation. boynehighlands.com/events/pink-weekend-x9778

25 CENT FAMILY FAVORITES: 11am, The Lyric, Harbor Springs. Featuring “Ferdinand.”

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---------------------FRIDAY FAMILY FUN NIGHT: 6-9pm, Table Health, GT Commons, TC. A potluck dinner, games for kids & adults, music & more. Table Health will provide a healthy dish to pass & recipes to share. Participants are welcome to bring healthy, whole food side dishes, main dishes, appetizers, or dessert. RSVP. TableHealthTC. com/events

---------------------“DISNEY, DESSERTS & BROADWAY!”: 7pm, TC Central High School Auditorium, TC. This event features performances of classic Disney & Broadway hits, followed by desserts, face painting, book coloring, photo booth, story corner & more. Dress as your favorite Disney character. $12 adults; $6 children & students 18 & under.

933-6961.

---------------------“YOU’RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN”: (See Sat., Feb. 16)

---------------------30’S & 40’S SWING & BIG BAND DANCING W/ UP NORTH BIG BAND: 7-10pm, Red Sky Stage, Petoskey. Dance lesson, 6:45-7:30pm. $10 adults; $5 students w/ ID. redskystage.com

---------------------PEG + CAT - LIVE!: 7pm, Interlochen Center for the Arts, Corson Auditorium. This comedic musical is based on the Emmy-winning PBS Kids program of the same name. $33 pit; $28 orchestra. tickets.interlochen.org

---------------------AN AMERICAN IN PARIS: THE NMC CONCERT BAND: 7:30pm, Dennos Museum Center, Milliken Auditorium, NMC, TC. $7-$12. mynorthtickets.com

---------------------HEIKKI LUNTA PARTY: 7:30pm, Treetops Resort, Gaylord. Party of the Snow Gods. The weekly celebration carries on the tradition of asking for abundant snowfall. Enjoy a big bonfire, entertainment by Tommy Tropic, s’mores, hot chocolate, a tube-pulling contest, & more.

Free. treetops.com

---------------------INTERLOCHEN BALLET: SWAN LAKE: 7:30pm, Great Lakes Center for the Arts, Bay Harbor. Enjoy this classic performed by dancers from Interlochen Arts Academy. $25, $20, $15. greatlakescfa.org

feb 23

saturday

MICHIGAN SNOWMOBILE FESTIVAL: Gaylord. Snowmobile Fun Run. Ride to five area businesses for your chance to win gift certificates or $1,000. An after party will be held at the Eagles Hall from 4-10pm. Free. gaylordmichigan.net

---------------------NMC BLACK STUDENT UNION FESTIVAL: (See Thurs., Feb. 21)

---------------------38TH ANNUAL SNO-BLAST: East Jordan, Feb. 22-24. Today includes the Classic & Antique Snowmobile Show, Blessing of the Sleds & ORV’s, ORV Obstacle Course, Snowmobile Radar Runs & more. facebook.com/EastJordanSnoBlast

---------------------KALKASKA WINTERFEST: Kalkaska Civic Center, Feb. 23-24. Featuring sled dog races, a craft show & much more. kalkaskawinterfest.org

---------------------SNOWSHOE HIKE @ WAKELEY LAKE: 10am, Wakeley Lake Area, Grayling. Enjoy a one mile snowshoe hike, led by Scott Warsen, wildlife biologist with the U.S. Forest Service.

Free use of snowshoes for everyone. Reserve

------------------------------------------VINE TO WINE SNOWSHOE TOUR: (See Sat., Feb. 16)

---------------------7TH ANNUAL DOGMAN CHALLENGE FAT BIKE RACE: Noon, Mt. McSauba, top of bunny hill, Charlevoix. Riders will race Fat Bikes on a 1.8 mile loop through the trails of Mt. McSauba & North Point Nature Preserve. The riders to complete the most laps in two hours are the champions & will be awarded medals & cash prizes. The after party & awards ceremony will be held at Lake Charlevoix Brewing Co. beginning at 4pm. dogmanchallenge.net

---------------------SNOWSHOES, VINES & WINES: (See Sat., Feb. 16)

---------------------“DISNEY, DESSERTS & BROADWAY!”: 2pm, TC Central High School Auditorium, TC. This event features performances of classic Disney & Broadway hits, followed by desserts, face painting, book coloring, photo booth, story corner & more. Dress as your favorite Disney character. $12 adults; $6 children & students 18 & under. 933-6961.

---------------------ROCKET STOVES4HAITI FUNDRAISER: 4-10pm, The GT Circuit, TC. Help the people of Belle Anse, Haiti’s efforts of environmental restoration & economic development. Live music, spaghetti dinner, silent auction. Free. Find on Facebook.

---------------------BEARCUB OUTFITTERS TORCHLIGHT SNOWSHOE OUTING: 5-9pm, Camp Daggett, Petoskey. Enjoy snow-covered trails illuminated by more than 100 torches on your trek.

Afterward, go inside for a cup of hot chocolate, freshly-baked cookies & to warm up by the fire.

Snowshoes available. Free. campdaggett.org

---------------------6TH ANNUAL PINK WEEKEND: (See Fri., Feb. 22)

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6TH ANNUAL GUNS N HOSES HOCKEY GAME: 6pm, Centre Ice Arena, TC. Benefits the DePuy Family of Leelanau County. Doors open at 6pm with a silent auction. Pre-game introductions will begin at 6:30pm with players, honor guard, introduction of family, & the National Anthem. Puck will drop on the action at 7pm. Tickets: $5. gtgunsnhoses.com

---------------------“YOU’RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN”: (See Sat., Feb. 16)

---------------------TOAST TO LITERACY: 7-10pm, Castle Farms, Charlevoix. Char-Em United Way is hosting this fundraiser for Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, which puts books into the hands of local children at no cost to the parents. Enjoy an evening of wine & beer tastings, a catering competition, silent auction & entertainment. events. r20.constantcontact.com

---------------------FUNNY BUSINESS COMEDY SHOW: (See Sat., Feb. 16)

---------------------REGINA CARTER: SIMPLY ELLA: 8pm, City Opera House, TC. Virtuoso violinist/Grammy Nominated artist Regina Carter reveals the many faces of Ella Fitzgerald. “Simply Ella” marks the 100th birthday of musical legend Ella Fitzgerald. $47.50, $37.50. Students, $15. cityoperahouse.org/regina-carter

feb 24

sunday

38TH ANNUAL SNO-BLAST: East Jordan, Feb. 22-24. Today includes the Sno-Lovers Breakfast. facebook.com/ EastJordanSnoBlast

---------------------NMC BLACK STUDENT UNION FESTIVAL: (See Thurs., Feb. 21)

20 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

KALKASKA WINTERFEST: (See Sat., Feb. 23)

---------------------TC RESTAURANT WEEK: Feb. 24 - March 2.

Three course menus at participating locations will be $25 or $35 per person. downtowntc. com/events-attractions/tcrw

---------------------GREAT INDOOR FOLK FESTIVAL: 12-6pm, The Village at GT Commons, TC. Featuring more than 100 musicians from northern MI’s folk, bluegrass & acoustic music scene. There will be seven stages, including those dedicated to “New Folk” & “Kids Music.” Free. thevillagetc.com/the-great-indoor-folk-festival-2

---------------------“YOU’RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN”: (See Sun., Feb. 17)

---------------------HOW TO BE PREPARED: 2pm, Helena Township Community Center, Alden. Mike Thompson, emergency manager for Kalkaska & Crawford counties, will discuss the need for & the how to’s, of preparing your family, neighbors & communities for survival in the event of a catastrophic incident. Free.

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GREAT LAKES CHAMBER ORCHESTRA SUNDAY SERIES RECITAL: 4-6pm, First Presbyterian Church, Harbor Springs. Mozart Meets Brass. Free will donation. glcorchestra.org

---------------------6TH ANNUAL PINK WEEKEND: (See Fri., Feb. 22)

---------------------OSCAR NIGHT PARTY: State Theatre, TC. Red Carpet, 7pm; show, 8pm. $15. stateandbijou.org

ongoing

17TH ANNUAL YOUNG WRITERS JURIED EXPOSITION: CALL FOR YOUNG WRITERS: Elementary, middle & high school students who attend schools served by the Char-Em ISD (or home school students in Charlevoix or Emmet counties) are invited to submit one work of poetry, prose, or one of each. Must be submitted online by a parent or teacher beginning at 9am on Tues., April 2 through 5pm on Fri., April 12.

The submission page is located under Teacher Resources on the Petoskey portion of Crooked Tree’s website. crookedtree.org/petoskey

---------------------DEBTORS ANONYMOUS: Tuesdays, 6:307:30pm, Cowell Family Cancer Center, Rm. 3002, TC. A twelve step program for those with money problems. debtorsanonymous.org

---------------------RANGER-LED SNOWSHOE HIKE: Saturdays, 1pm, Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore, Empire. Meet at the Philip A. Hart Visitor Center.

Snowshoes will be loaned at no charge to participants who do not have their own. Reservations required: 231-326-4700, ext. 5010.

---------------------SNOWSHOE SUNDAYS: 12-5pm, Rove Estate Vineyard & Tasting Room, TC. Bring your snowshoes or skis. roveestate.com

---------------------WINTER MUSIC JAMS: Gaylord Area Council for the Arts, Gaylord. Held every Sun. through winter from 3-5pm for musicians of all skill levels.

Learn & network with other musicians. Bring your instrument, music & a friend. gaylordarts.org

---------------------WINTER WALK WEDNESDAYS: Presented

by Norte. All community members are invited to commit to walking to work, school, as an errand or just for fun every Weds. through March. elgruponorte.org/winter/walk BOYNE CITY INDOOR FARMERS MARKET: Saturdays, 9am-noon, City Hall, Boyne City.

---------------------GAYLORD DOWNTOWN FARMERS MARKET: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, The Alpine Plaza, main hallway, Gaylord.

---------------------THE VILLAGE @ GT COMMONS, TC INDOOR FARMERS MARKET: Saturdays, 10am-2pm. Held inside the Mercato. Enjoy local fresh produce, eggs, farm fresh cheese, local meats & more.

art

“NEU HISTOIRES”: Runs through April 30 at Higher Art Gallery, TC. This exhibit by Jesse Jason features a collection of abstract, narrative works with a central focus on the imaginative world that weaves its way through reality. higherartgallery.com

---------------------BLACK & WHITE & A LITTLE RED EXHIBIT: Runs through March 1 at Gaylord Area Council for the Arts, Gaylord. Open during Art Center hours of 11am-3pm on Tues. through Fri. & 122pm on Sat. gaylordarts.org

---------------------CALL FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS - NORTHPORT PHOTO EXHIBIT: Through May 31.

Northport Photo Exhibit: June 21-30. Limited to 35. Photographers Reception: June 21, 6pm. northportartsassociation.org

---------------------FURNITURE, FIBER, PHOTOGRAPHY, AND SCULPTURE: Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. Runs through Feb. 22. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

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GRAND TRAVERSE ART BOMB: Runs through April 6 at Right Brain Brewery, TC. A collaborative art show with talent from around northern MI. Featuring three reception events throughout the show. It supports artists & their creative endeavors, by giving them an opportunity to showcase their talents with minimal cost. gt-artbomb.wixsite.com/2019

---------------------WINE LABEL ART COMPETITION: Mission Point Lighthouse Friends and Bowers Harbor Vineyards are sponsoring a contest to design a label to be used for the BHV 2019 Lighthouse Pinot Grigio release. Visit bowersharbor.com/events for details. Submission deadline is March 11. The winning entry wins a $250 cash prize & will be displayed on each 2019 Lighthouse wine bottle.

---------------------CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, PETOSKEY: - CALL FOR ARTISTS: The call is open now through Mon., March 4 for the American Impressionist Society’s third annual “AIS Impressions Small Works Showcase.” This 2019 summer exhibition will run from Sat., June 1 through Sat., Aug. 31. All submissions must be oil, pastel, acrylic, watercolor, or gouache, & submitted by current American Impressionist Society (AIS) members. crookedtree.org/petoskey - HERE AND THERE: Runs through March 30.

A photographic exhibition showcasing the work of photographers Jin Lee, Larson Shindelman & Regan Golden.

- 2019 JURIED PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBITION: Held in Bonfield Gallery. Juried by John Fergus-Jean, this exhibition includes 43 photographs by 34 exhibiting photographers of local & regional acclaim. Runs through March 30.

- 2019 CROOKED TREE PHOTOGRAPHIC SOCIETY JURIED FINE ART SHOW: Runs through March 2. Juried by current Crooked Tree Photography Society members. Showcases the work of fifteen current members. Subject matter includes, but is not limited to, nature, landscapes, wildlife & northern MI scenes. crookedtree.org

---------------------CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, TC: - FRESH CUTS: THE ART OF PAPERCRAFT: Runs through Feb. 16. crookedtree.org

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DENNOS MUSEUM CENTER, NMC, TC: - “ENTIRE LIFE IN A PACKAGE”: Runs through May 5. The story of millions of refugees with millions of packages, suitcases... sacks. “Life packages” that hold the desire to survive. In this exhibition Ben-Ami sculpts the packages carried by refugees shown in Reuter’s new photos in iron & then mounts them to the photo in place of the photographic image of the package.

- 2019 NORTHWEST MICHIGAN REGIONAL JURIED EXHIBITION: Runs through May 5.

Featuring art made by local artists over the last year, juried by a regional arts professional.

Hours: Mon. - Sat.: 10am-5pm; Thurs.: 10am8pm; Sun.: 1-5pm. dennosmuseum.org

JAMES BLAKE IS BACK — WITH HELP FROM ANDRE 3000 Singer-songwriter James Blake is newly back on record store shelves and media outlet sites with his fourth album, Assume Form, which he released via Republic Records. The 12-track followup to his 2016 set, The Colour in Anything, includes singles “Don’t Miss It” and “If the Car Beside You Moves Ahead.”

The album also features guest contributions from Rosalia and Moses Sumney, and was produced in part by Outkast’s Andre 3000.

Blake will promote the set with a short North American tour that kicks off this week in Atlanta, Georgia …

The Who is embarking on a summer tour this year that will coincide with the recording of its first new album in nearly 15 years. The band plans to take over a dozen demos of tunes that Pete Townshend recorded in England and will amp them up with singer Roger Daltrey’s vocals (and other embellishments) to make a full record.

The tour will be a 29-date North American trek that will include a symphony orchestra on most dates. The tour’s schedule will kick off May 7 at Grand Rapids’ Van Andel Arena and will include a stop in Chicago and then a short break before the tour resumes on the West Coast and north into Canada…

MODERN

James Blake

ROCK

BY KRISTI KATES

If you enjoyed the movie Bohemian Rhapsody — the highest-grossing music biopic of all time — detailing the career of Queen and its lead singer, Freddie Mercury (portrayed by actor Rami Malek), chances are you’ll also dig the new special-edition cut of the movie that will function as a “sing-along” for theater audiences. Expect song lyrics on the screen ála karaoke, so you can belt out your best “Mamma mia, mamma mia” from your theater seat. Check your local cinema for screen times …

If you were expecting to see a performance from high-profile rapper Kanye West at this year’s Coachella Festival … well, you should probably stop looking forward to that. West was set to be announced as one of the fest’s main co-headliners earlier this month, but instead of performing on the Coachella stage, West reportedly wanted his own giant custom-built dome to perform in, separate from the other venues. Coachella organizers said no, uninvited West, and are now slating Aussie rock band Tame Impala and pop diva-ette Ariana Grande for those headlining spots …

LINK OF THE WEEK Radiohead has released its jazz-inflected 2016 track, “Ill Wind,” to streaming services.

The tune was initially released only as a CD single alongside the vinyl edition of its 2016 album, A Moon Shaped Pool. But you can stream “Ill Wind” now at https://tinyurl. com/y84a469o …

THE BUZZ Speaking of the aforementioned Queen, American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert is teaming up with Queen’s Roger Taylor and Brian May for a North American stadium tour that will hit Detroit’s Little Caesars Arena on July 27 …

Detroit house/techno DJ and artist Rob Mansel, aka Black Noi$e, has wrapped up his year-long residency on Redbull Radio and is releasing his own 11-track debut

Every Body is Different.

We’re Here to Help You Love Yours.

The Healthy Weight Center in Traverse City provides a new way to jump-start your weightloss journey: the InBody 570, a tool that reveals your percentage of body fat, muscle strength, and total body water. With help from our experienced team, this machine supplies you with the knowledge and inspiration to get – and stay – on track.

Throughout February and March, we’re offering the special price of $35 to experience the InBody 570.

We invite you to try the InBody 570, and also to learn about our comprehensive weight-loss programs. The Healthy Weight Center, located at Munson Community Health Center, offers a range of medically supervised programs in a safe environment. With support from both a dietitian and an exercise specialist, and access to a medical rehabilitation gym, you’re on your way to a successful approach to healthy living.

album, Illusions …

Also in Detroit, the Movement Music Festival is prepping for this year’s event (May 25–27 at Hart Plaza), and has announced performances from Floorplan, Stephan Bodzin, Heiko Laux, Hot Since 82, and Japanese mixmaster DJ Nobu …

Anderson .Paak is promoting his new album, Oxnard, with a series of tour dates, including a stop at Detroit’s Fillmore this week ... and that’s the buzz for this week’s Modern Rock.

Comments, questions, rants, raves, suggestions on this column? Send ’em to Kristi at modernrocker@gmail.com.

“Seeing the numbers and information on a piece of paper was eye-opening.

It was nice to have the personal guidance, too. It helped me get a good picture of my health and I thought, ‘OK, I can do this!’

I didn’t do any crash diets – I paid more attention to what I put in my body and I walked more.”

– Heidi Phillips, a registered nurse and senior informaticist at Munson Medical Center who lost 30 pounds following her InBody session in early 2018.

Start on your wellness journey today by calling us at 231-935-8606.

Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 21

DOWNTOWN

TRAVERSE CITY

FOURSCORE by kristi kates

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Far from the bright, spry tones of its first big hit single, “Best Day of My Life,” Authors returns with a much heavier outlook on the world, and the music steps up the band’s instrumental game to match.

The Brooklyn, New York, outfit digs into more earthy blues, Americana-rock, and gospel sounds for this set, as evidenced on the album’s first single, “Deep Water,” with its bubbling-under bassline.

“Say Amen” (feat. Billy Raffoul) keeps to that bluesy sound, while “Can’t Stop Me Now” jumps headfirst into the ’70s with layered choruses and guitars.

Beirut – Gallipoli – 4AD

The indie-folk band’s move from Santa Fe, New Mexico, to Berlin, Germany, has definitely affected frontman Zach Condon’s songwriting.

Condon’s penchant for world music is still very much present, but there’s also a new world-weary tone to the tunes, as if trading desert for concrete has had a direct (and somewhat dismal) effect. The title track offers a bard tone, with a potpourri of percussion and old-world lyrics, while “Landslide” slips in stacks of Moog synths, and “Varieties of Exile,” with its perhaps telling name, features filtered horns and short-form philosophy.

22 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

The reel

by meg weichman

THEY SHALL NOT GROW OLD the lego movie 2

T In They Shall Not Grow Old, Peter Jackson has made something miraculous. He has given sound and agency to ephemeral images that have been locked in silence for over 100 years, allowing a generation to have their say in the most visceral way possible.

Jackson (you know, Lord of the Rings Oscarwinner Peter Jackson) has lovingly restored and enhanced over 100 hours of original film footage of World War I that has languished, a lot of it unseen, in the Imperial War Museum archives since that war came to an end.

Using state-of-the-art technology, he has made that footage sing with new life, and the result is more stunning and more immersive than any dry documentary, any big-budget Hollywood retelling, or even any first-person video game could ever hope to be. Presented with the audio from interviews with WWI veterans recorded in the 1960s, Jackson and his team have revealed a humanity that has long been hidden and disguised in grainy and stilted black and white.

The film is not the story of the whole of WWI but, instead, specifically focuses on what British soldiers experienced while fighting on the Western Front. The narrative, as it is, is built upon the stories told by those who lived through it, rather than an explanation of the war itself (there’s no talking heads, animated maps, orders of battle, etc.) The film assumes you’re already familiar with why there was a world war and just drops you, medias res-like, into the stories of the men who fought it.

(For those who don’t know, here’s why we had WWI: Basically all of Europe, in the waning days of imperial expansion and with a slowly destabilizing cadre of ruling imperial families, experienced a devastating domino effect when the nephew of the Austrian Emperor was assassinated in Serbia in 1914. One country after another, due to entangling obligations of alliance and support, declared war on each other. Early optimism, on all sides, at the war’s beginning quickly morphed into a grim slog of attrition and atrophy that killed millions and eventually ended with an Armistice in 1918 that toppled almost all of the monarchies, geopolitically rearranged most of the world, and laid the groundwork for the Word War II.) When England declared war on Germany, millions of men enlisted to serve their king and country, and the film shows us what that looked like: men waiting in line, donning their uniforms, marching, drilling, boarding trains, boarding ships, all set to the voiceovers of the men who actually did it. It’s all very straightforward storytelling. This first part of the film is shown in the original, though restored, black and white.

It’s only when we’re in the trenches, when the reality of what these men faced sets in, that Jackson pulls out the big guns. I literally gasped when that first enhanced footage hit the screen. This first footage isn’t anything

he LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part is really all about expectations. ’Cause let’s face it, there is really is no way this sequel can ever top the unexpected giddy joy of the first film — a film so fresh, so wonderful, so inventive, and so subversive it ranks with the best kid’s movies ever made. And while The LEGO Movie 2 almost comes within striking distances of that former brilliant confection, it can’t shake the feeling of trying too hard to recreate that same magic. Picking up five years after the events of The LEGO Movie, our Bricksburg Minifig friends are still dealing with the fallout of the invasion of the adorably destructive DUPOLOs. All the right ingredients are here — the fun cameos, the pop culture references galore, catchy tunes, candy-colored visual delights, and a script that is undeniably smart. It’s just that the satire is not as sharp, the pace is a little less breathless and a lot more convoluted, and the jokes and gimmicks are too familiar and occasionally a little too lazy. So although everything isn’t awesome about this movie, it’s still heads and shoulders above 90 percent of children’s entertainment, so everything is more than all right.

inherently dramatic, just soldiers struggling to march up a muddy trench, weighed down by all their equipment, and steadying themselves on a splintered tree trunk. But in 3D, in color, with reconstructed sound, and slowed down from herky-jerky original to match real human movement, the affect is absolutely stunning.

You feel like you’re trespassing through time itself, glimpsing something you have no right to see, and the men on screen are so suddenly real and emotionally naked, that you almost feel like you need to turn away.

There is actually very little combat footage.

Cameras had to be stationary and the film hand-cranked, so they couldn’t be carried into action. When it comes time to depict the actual fighting, Jackson employs illustrations from a period periodical, along with images of the aftermath and the disfigured dead. It’s not perfect, but it’s in the spirit of what he set out to accomplish that I respect.

Jackson matter-of-factly introduces the film and asks that you stick around after the credits if you’re interested in seeing how they went about making it, and I implore you to stay for that mini-doc. It’s in this reveal that my affection for this film was cemented. You’ll see how the filmmakers assembled what was basically a huge puzzle, with pieces that included not only the advanced technology but also audio recreation, forensic lip-reading, and gumshoe research. Not only did they solve and decrypt several mysteries surrounding this old footage, they went to extraordinary lengths to make sure what they added was as correct as it could be.

stan & ollie

F

ar from a “nice mess,” Stan & Ollie is a lovely and wistful ode to famed slapstick duo Laurel & Hardy, as well as to the bygone era of comedy they represent. Uncanny performances, a warmhearted script, touching moments, and a gentle wit are just some of the bittersweet charms of a film that traces Stan Laurel & Laurel Hardy (Steve Coogan and John C. Reilly) in the twilight of their careers. And what a treat it is to watch their perfectly recreated routines play out. There’s a little patter, a little song and dance, and plenty of slapstick. It’s comedy that we are certainly not used to seeing these days, but it’s a style of comedy so effortless, timeless, and simple that its appeal is immediately apparent.

But it’s not all laughs, of course; a sense of melancholy runs throughout the film, especially as long-held regrets and resentments start bubbling up to the surface. While this good-natured, compassionate, and slightly old-fashioned (in a good way!) biopic may not generate the kind of attention that leads to a major rediscovery of Laurel & Hardy in the public consciousness, those who do enjoy the film’s understated appeal will see why Laurel & Hardy have endured and why they’ll continue to do so.

(My favorite of these examples is how they enlisted Englishman stationed at the consulate in New Zealand to come in and sing verse after verse of a barrack room ballad so bawdy it would make Kipling blush, all so the final product on screen would be populated by voices with the correct accent.)

My only issue with They Shall Not Grow Old is one that is born of our modern sensibilities.

The veterans interviewed, whose voices lend narration to all the harrowing and horrifying things we’re shown, have a decidedly rosy view of the war that destroyed their generation.

Given the national character of their home country, this isn’t a surprise. They survived one of the bleakest periods humanity has produced yet kept the proverbial stiff upper lip about it all those years later. But now we know better — that war is hell. These men were pawns of the crown, of empire, and perhaps most importantly, of capital, and the world they fought to preserve is fundamentally unchanged, for good or ill.

The technology doesn’t yet exist to listen to the stories of their dead comrades, of their lives and loves lost, of their dreams deferred. Perhaps one day we’ll hear them ourselves, when we meet them wherever they ended up.

on the basis of sex

I

n addition to this summer’s hit documentary RBG, we now have a biopic that serves as the Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s own superhero origin story, if you will. It follows Ruth as she studies to become a lawyer at Harvard and then jumps ahead to her first groundbreaking case as an attorney; she takes advantage of an obscure bit of tax code that prevents a man from benefiting from a tax credit to set a legal precedent for sex-based discrimination cases. Director Mimi Leder (of the beyond brilliant The Leftovers), working from a script written by RBG’s nephew Daniel Stiepleman, takes a standard approach to her subject. Sure it has its rousing moments, is earnest in its respect, and has the best of intentions, yet it can’t avoid that TV biopic sheen. There’s nothing very remarkable about the filmmaking, but in a way, this less flashy approach is perhaps more true to Ruth and her personality. Quiet, humble, and unassuming, a more dynamic film would not capture her essence. So, final verdict? On the Basis of Sex is impassioned enough to make a case for its existence.

Meg Weichman is a perma-intern at the Traverse City Film Festival and a trained film archivist.

Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 23

nitelife

FEB 16 - feb 24 edited by jamie kauffold

Send Nitelife to: events@traverseticker.com

Grand Traverse & Kalkaska

GT DISTILLERY, TC Fri. – Younce Guitar Duo, 7-9:30 INCREDIBLE MO'S, TC 2/23 -- TC Knuckleheads, 8:30 KILKENNY'S, TC 2/15-16 -- Off Beat Band, 9:30 2/17 -- Soul Patch, 8:30-11:30 2/22-23 -- Sweet Jay, 9:30

THE DISH CAFE, TC 2/18 -- Comedy Open Mic Night w/ Kamikaze Comedy, 8 Tues, Sat -- Matt Smith, 5-7

music, 6:30-9 Wed -- Jazz Jam, 6-10 2/22 – Michael Moran, 8 2/23 – Kyle Brown, 8

THE HAYLOFT INN, TC Thu -- Roundup Radio Show Open Mic Night, 8

UNION STREET STATION, TC 2/16 -- DJ DomiNate, 10 2/17 -- Karaoke, 10 2/18 -- Jukebox, 10 2/19 -- TC Comedy Collective, 8-9:30 2/20 -- DJ Fasel, 10 2/21 -- The Pocket, 10 2/22 -- Happy Hour w/ Wink; then Skin & Marshall Dance Party 2/23 -- DJ Prim, 10 2/24 -- Head for the Hills Live Show; then Karaoke

THE LITTLE FLEET, TC 2/16 -- Winter Social Presented by Michigan House w/ Lady Ace Boogie, Seth Bernard & Jack Droppers & The Best Intentions, 5-10 Wed -- Tiki Night w/ DJ, 3 2/22 -- Live Music in the Yurt: Escaping Pavement, 7

LEFT FOOT CHARLEY, TC 2/18 -- Open Mic Night w/ Rob Coonrod, 6-9 PARK PLACE HOTEL, TC BEACON LOUNGE: Thurs,Fri,Sat — Tom Kaufmann, 8:30

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24 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

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the ADViCE GOddESS No Girls Aloud

Q

them or was just less than ideal. When a guy says “She took my breath away!” it should be a good thing, not a complaint about how he was nearly asphyxiated by your personality.

: I’m a female comic, so being smart and funny and having a strong personality is basically my job, as well as who I am. A friend had me stop by his business meeting at a cafe so he could introduce me to his client he was hoping to set me up with. I tend to show off when I’m nervous (going big, loud, and funny), and I apparently terrified the guy. My friend scolded me, telling me it’s a turnoff for men to have to compete with a woman. Come on! I’d be thrilled to have a partner who is smarter and funnier.

Shouldn’t men be like that, too?

— Bummed

Q

A

A

: As a powerful, confident woman, you can make a man feel like a real animal: a Chihuahua in a bee suit nervously peeking out of a little old lady’s purse.

Social science research finds that there’s a bit of a chasm between what men think they want in a female partner and what they actually end up being comfortable with. For example, when social psychologist Lora E. Park surveyed male research participants, 86 percent said they’d feel comfortable dating female partners smarter than they are. They likewise said they’d go for a (hypothetical) woman who beat their scores in every category on an exam.

However, when they were in a room with a woman who supposedly did, the men not only expressed less interest in her but moved their chairs away from her (as if they might catch something from her if they sat too close!).

This seems pretty silly, until you look at some sex differences in the importance of social status. Sure, it’s better for a woman to be the head cheerleader (as that plays out in junior high and beyond), but a woman isn’t less of a woman if she isn’t the alpha pompom-ette.

Manhood, on the other hand, is “precarious,” explain psychologists Jennifer Bosson and Joseph Vandello. It’s achieved through men’s actions but easily lost or yanked away — like by being shown up publicly by a chick.

The answer isn’t to be someone else on a date (somebody dumber, with less personality).

But maybe, seeing as some of the bigpersonality stuff comes out of fear, you could try something: Challenge yourself to be vulnerable. To listen. To connect with people instead of impress them. You should also seek out men who are big enough to not feel small around you — men who are accomplished, as well as psychologically accomplished. These are men who’ve fixed whatever was broken in

BY Amy Alkon

What’s Not To Lick : I’m friends with this guy. Only friends, and he knows it. But lately, we’ll be on the phone, talking about our businesses, and he’ll suddenly start talking dirty (saying sex things he wants to do with me). I just make a joke and get off the phone, but then he’ll do it again the next time. How do I get him to stop?

— Uncomfortable : You get a lot out of your friendship -but last you checked your Venmo, not $2.99 a minute.

There you are, talking about your plans for the third quarter, and there are the guy’s sex thoughts — kind of like a goat ambling into your living room. As annoying as this must be, his being motivated to do it isn’t inexplicable. In surveying the scientific literature on sexual desire, Roy Baumeister and his colleagues find evidence for what many of us probably suspect or believe: Men, in general, have a far stronger sex drive than women.

This is reflected in how, among other things, men “experience more frequent sexual arousal, have more frequent and varied fantasies, desire sex more often, desire more partners, masturbate more, want sex sooner, are less able or willing to live without sexual gratification,” and are often interested in freakier stuff. (It isn’t women who show up at the emergency room all “TOTAL MYSTERY TO ME, DUDE!” about how that reading lamp or Butterscotch the hamster got up there.)

You can most likely get him to stop -- but not through hinting or hanging up when the conversation goes “what I’d like to do to you with my tongue”-ward. Tell him straight out: “Hey, from now on, we need to keep the raunchy talk out of our phone conversations. Makes me seriously uncomfortable.” There’s a time and place for everything, and sex talk suddenly flying into your casual conversations is like placing your order at a drive-thru speaker — “Hi...I’d like the cheeseburger with fries” — and hearing heavy breathing and then a low male voice: “That’ll be $8.97...and a picture of your feet.”

“Jonesin” Crosswords "Double Up"--the middle two from all five. by Matt Jones

ACROSS 1 “Downton Abbey” countess 5 PokÈmon protagonist 8 Fix, as the end of a pool cue 13 Strong cards 14 “SmackDown!” org.

15 High grade 17 Johnny Carson’s predecessor 19 “Sorry Not Sorry” singer Demi 20 Magic, on a scoreboard 21 Like toast without butter 22 So far 23 “Weetzie Bat” author Francesca ___ Block 24 Get a sense of importance, say 26 Children’s author Blyton 28 E-mail address part 29 Ancient Roman road 30 Indian restaurant appetizer 33 Hospital count 36 Places with IVs 37 “The Battle With the Slum” author and social reformer 40 ___ A. Bank (menswear retailer) 43 “Don’t move!”

44 Super Bowl XLI halftime headliner 48 Actress Hathaway of “Ocean’s 8” 50 1010, in binary 52 Gloom and ___ 53 Figure out group emotions, maybe 58 Replacement 59 Wrigley Field judges 60 Boy band that sang “Girl on TV” 61 She, in Brazil 62 Surgeon for whom a mouthwash is named 63 Some purchases for vape pens 65 Prefix meaning “insect” 66 Their capacity is measured in BTUs 67 Attila’s band 68 “Quiz Show” figure Charles Van ___ 69 1950s White House nickname 70 ___-bitty

DOWN 1 Persuades 2 Instrument in a Legend of Zelda title 3 Win back 4 Inquire of 5 In the know 6 Began to convince 7 She/___ pronouns 8 Chief Wiggum’s kid 9 Melodramatize 10 Copenhagen’s ___ Gardens 11 How short messages may be sent 12 Bring off, slangily 16 Seeders 18 Adobe file format 22 Say out loud 25 Legislative persuader 27 Gp. that oversees the ATF 31 Airline based in Stockholm 32 False front 34 Slight decrease 35 Knightly title 38 Hall’s partner 39 PBS’s “Science Kid” 40 Rapper in the Fyre Festival documentaries 41 With “of,” in total agreement 42 Shapes up quickly 45 Barely defeat 46 Was unable to 47 Diplomat’s building 49 Podcast staffer 51 “I couldn’t find it” 54 HBO series set in New Orleans 55 “Great blue” marsh bird 56 Good for something 57 Actress Gretchen of “Boardwalk Empire” 63 “___ Ho” (“Slumdog Millionaire” song) 64 ___ Beta Kappa 60 Penn of the “Harold & Kumar” films 61 Show with Ego Nwodim, briefly

Northern Express Weekly • february 18, 2019 • 25

T R A C T O R

B A R B E Q U E

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423 S UNION ST, T R AV ER SE CI T Y

lOGY

aSTRO

B L U E

FEB 18 - FEB 24

BY ROB BREZSNY

PIScES (Feb. 19-March 20): Cartographers of Old Europe

sometimes drew pictures of strange beasts in the uncharted regions of their maps. These were warnings to travelers that such areas might harbor unknown risks, like dangerous animals.

One famous map of the Indian Ocean shows an image of a sea monster lurking, as if waiting to prey on sailors traveling through its territory. If I were going to create a map of the frontier you’re now headed for, Pisces, I would fill it with mythic beasts of a more benevolent variety, like magic unicorns, good fairies, and wise centaurs.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Space

poetry. But I want to bring your attention to a poem that is serving a very practical purpose in addition to its inspirational function. Simon Armitage’s poem “In Praise of Air” is on display in an outdoor plaza at Sheffield University. The material it’s printed on is designed to literally remove a potent pollutant from the atmosphere. And what does this have to do with you?

I suspect that in the coming weeks you will have an extra capacity to generate blessings that are like Armitage’s poem: useful in both practical and inspirational ways.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1941, the

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 1979, psychologist

Needle in Seattle, Washington is 605 feet high and 138 feet wide: a tall and narrow tower. Near the top is a round restaurant that makes one complete rotation every 47 minutes. Although this part of the structure weighs 125 tons, for many years its motion was propelled by a mere 1.5 horsepower motor. I think you will have a comparable power at your disposal in the coming weeks: an ability to cause major movement with a compact output of energy.

Ford automobile company created a “biological car.” Among its components were “bioplastics” composed of soybeans, hemp, flax, wood pulp, and cotton. It weighed a thousand pounds less than a comparable car made of metal. This breakthrough possibility never fully matured, however. It was overshadowed by newly abundant plastics made from petrochemicals. I suspect that you Aquarians are at a phase with a resemblance to the biological car. Your good idea is promising but unripe. I hope you’ll spend the coming weeks devoting practical energy to developing it. (P.S. There’s a difference between you and your personal equivalent of the biological car: little competition.)

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In December 1915,

the California city of San Diego was suffering from a draught. City officials hired a professional “moisture accelerator” named Charles Hatfield, who promised to make it rain. Soon Hatfield was shooting explosions of a secret blend of chemicals into the sky from the top of a tower. The results were quick. A deluge began in early January of 1916 and persisted for weeks. Thirty inches of rain fell, causing floods that damaged the local infrastructure. The moral of the story, as far as you’re concerned, Aries: when you ask for what you want and need, specify exactly how much you want and need. Don’t make an open-ended request that could bring you too much of a good thing.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Actors Beau

Bridges and Jeff Bridges are brothers born to parents who were also actors. When they were growing up, they already had aspirations to follow in their mom’s and dad’s footsteps. From an early age, they summoned a resourceful approach to attracting an audience. Now and then they would start a pretend fight in a store’s parking lot. When a big enough crowd had gathered to observe their shenanigans, they would suddenly break off from their faux struggle, grab their guitars from their truck, and begin playing music. In the coming weeks, I hope you’ll be equally ingenious as you brainstorm about ways to expand your outreach.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): According to

Edward Barnard’s book New York City Trees, a quarter of the city is shaded by its 5.2 million trees. In other words, one of the most densely populated, frantically active places on the planet has a rich collection of oxygen-generating greenery.

There’s even a virgin forest at the upper tip of Manhattan, as well as five botanical gardens and the 843-acre Central Park. Let’s use all this bounty-amidst-the-bustle as a symbol of what you should strive to foster in the coming weeks: refreshing lushness and grace interspersed throughout your busy, hustling rhythm.

Dorothy Tennov published her book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love.

She defined her newly coined word “limerence” as a state of adoration that may generate intense, euphoric, and obsessive feelings for another person. Of all the signs in the zodiac, you Leos are most likely to be visited by this disposition throughout 2019. And you’ll be especially prone to it in the coming weeks. Will that be a good thing or a disruptive thing? It all depends on how determined you are to regard it as a blessing, have fun with it, and enjoy it regardless of whether or not your feelings are reciprocated. I advise you to enjoy the hell out of it!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Based in

Switzerland, Nestle is the largest food company in the world. Yet it pays just $200 per year to the state of Michigan for the right to suck up 400 million gallons of groundwater, which it bottles and sells at a profit. I nominate this vignette to be your cautionary tale in the coming weeks. How? 1. Make damn sure you are being fairly compensated for your offerings. 2. Don’t allow huge, impersonal forces to exploit your resources. 3. Be tough and discerning, not lax and naïve, as you negotiate deals.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Sixteenth-century

Italian artist Daniele da Volterra wasn’t very famous for his own painting and sculpture.

The work for which we remember him today is the alterations he made to Michelangelo’s giant fresco The Last Judgment, which spreads across an entire wall in the Sistine Chapel. After Michelangelo died, the Catholic Church hired da Volterra to “fix” the scandalous aspects of the people depicted in the master’s work. He painted clothes and leaves over the originals’ genitalia and derrieres. In accordance with astrological omens, I propose that we make da Volterra your anti-role model for the coming weeks. Don’t be like him. Don’t engage in cover-ups, censorship, or camouflage.

Instead, specialize in the opposite: revelations, unmaskings, and expositions.

ScORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): What is the

quality of your access to life’s basic necessities?

How well do you fulfill your need for good food and drink, effective exercise, deep sleep, thorough relaxation, mental stimulation, soulful intimacy, a sense of meaningfulness, nourishing beauty, and rich feelings? I bring these questions to your attention, Scorpio, because the rest of 2019 will be an excellent time for you to fine-tune and expand your relationships with these fundamental blessings. And now is an excellent time to

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Michael

CANCER (June 21-July 22): As a poet

myself, I regard good poetry as highly useful.

It can nudge us free of our habitual thoughts and provoke us to see the world in ways we’ve never imagined. On the other hand, it’s not useful in the same way that food and water and sleep are. Most people don’t get sick if they are deprived of

26 • february 18, 2019 • Northern Express Weekly

Jackson’s 1982 song “Beat It” climbed to number three on the record-sales charts in Australia. On the other hand, “Weird Al” Yankovic’s 1984 parody of Jackson’s tune, “Eat It,” reached number one on the same charts. Let’s use this twist as a metaphor that’s a good fit for your life in the coming weeks. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you may find that a stand-in or substitute or imitation will be more successful than the original. And that will be auspicious!

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