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Outside-the-Box Venues • Hit-and-Miss DJ List • Favors, Food Trucks, Flowers & more NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • february 12 - february 18, 2018 • Vol. 28 No. 07 Two Twisted Trees Photography

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2 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

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hate America, coddle criminals, etc. It’s not helpful to collapse all political thought into two starkly contrasting and crudely simplistic ideologies. A minority of Americans inhabit the fringes; the majority are reasonable people who share more values and goals than our current state of polarization would seem to indicate.

Don’t speak in absolutes: all politicians are crooked, all poor people are lazy, all rich people are unscrupulous, or whatever. Life isn’t that simple. Respect complexity.

Get the facts straight. Don’t get all your input from people you already know you agree with, and don’t believe something just because it fits with your existing biases. Dig for the truth. If you’re especially interested in a particular issue, read up on it. At the least you’ll be able to argue your point more persuasively, plus you’ll gain insight into why some people disagree. You might even end up changing your own mind on the subject, instead of someone else’s.

Listen without interrupting, look for areas of agreement, and admit when the other person has a valid point. Let go of the need to always be right. Make your case without pulling your punches, but minimize the snark. Cathartic rants feel good, but aren’t persuasive and don’t invite thoughtful responses.

Maybe if we all just dial it back a bit, deal in verifiable facts, and look for common ground we could stop shouting past each other and have a useful discussion.

Tom Gutowski, Elmwood Township

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Judgement Day Coming Over a year ago a disagreement started and, as arguments go, there is always a choosing of sides. It began with the rallying cry of “fake news” against the truth, the free press and the First Amendment. It since has escalated into a series of skirmishes against the dedicated professionals of the FBI, the entirety of the U.S. Intelligence community, and the integrity of the U.S. Justice Department. It will ultimately end when the battle for the Federal Judiciary has been decided.

Don’t be diverted by tax breaks and bizarre tweets. The most important record of events shows that President Trump and his allies are taking the U.S. federal government down the road toward authoritarianism, starting with their early and continuing attempts to give away lifetime Federal Judgeship appointments to a totally unqualified group of people, simply because of their ideology and not based on their merit.

Just as any person who is suffering from a severe health crisis, we would want and expect the most experienced professionals to manage our care and make the best of

possible decisions; our lives would certainly depend upon it. We, as citizens, must also demand that our federal court system be filled with the best legal minds available and not by some obscure lawyer who has never presented a case. If the Trump administration has its way, there will be no second opinions in any American court of law.

John Hunter, Traverse City Tax Windfall Worries There is the hope of good news from the recent tax reform bill, which has seemed to encourage corporations to share their tax windfall with those who work for them.

Bonuses and higher wages are certainly helpful to the struggling middle class. My concern is that businesses are not primarily concerned with providing employment.

The desire for profit might still lead to reducing employment and employee compensation. If jobs can be eliminated, I don’t think Sam’s Club or Amazon will hesitate. How many sales and service jobs are being replaced by technology?

In the meantime, the government has less income by tax reform, which is aimed at reducing government services. Already Paul Ryan wants to cut Social Security because we don’t have the money. That could be a problem unless corporations will take on the responsibility for full employment with living wages and pensions.

Bob McQuilkin, Frankfort Suggestion Box I’m frustrated by American politics being split into factions that just scream at each other. So I reviewed what I’ve learned over the years about negotiation and conflict resolution to try and extract a few simple guidelines for myself for making political conversations less acrimonious. Here’s what I came up with.

Don’t use caricature. Republicans are heartless, racist and xenophobic ….liberals

Heil Trump?

I recently heard a political commentator say “He’s the president. We have to respect him.”

We should respect the presidency – if the person in that position is worthy of respect.

But, respect must be earned. Just because you have managed to get a title doesn’t mean you are worthy of it.

Loyalty is something a person promises to their ideals – not to a person demanding blind obedience. The demand that someone in our government must put loyalty to Trump over loyalty to our country is unacceptable.

And then there is the truth. Or should I say, and then there was the truth? The truth can easily be verified, if one is willing to take the time. It is not something that should be altered to meet one’s immediate needs; especially in an effort to manipulate political gain.

In our current environment, we are constantly being bombarded with halftruths, things taken out of context, or just plain blatant lies. One can’t help but be reminded of the propaganda leading to the atrocities of the previous century.

And now, those who refuse to see that our government is currently being infiltrated by the propaganda bots of a foreign adversary cannot later plead ignorant. Russian TV is now celebrating “We have Trump again!” after he refused to enforce the unanimously accepted sanctions. And they have announced that members of their spy agencies met recently with White House officials without the American press being informed. Is hiding facts the same as not telling the truth?

Discontent with how our country has been run in the past could cause people to want something different. But what will they think when the children of America are forced to raise an arm at the beginning of each school day and holler “Heil Trump!”

CONTENTS features Crime and Rescue Map......................................7

The Saga of Noverr Farms................................10 You’re with the Band?...................................13 The Secret to a long, Happy Marriage?............15 Think Outside the White Box..........................16 Put a Ring on It...........................................17 What’s New, Now and Wow..............................19 The Hit List......................................................20 Northern Seen...................................................21

dates...............................................22-24 music FourScore......................................................26 Nightlife.........................................................28

columns & stuff Top Ten...........................................................4

Spectator/Stephen Tuttle....................................6 Opinion............................................................8 Weird...............................................................9 Crossed..........................................................12 Modern Rock/Kristi Kates................................25 The Reel...........................................................27 Crossword...................................................29 Advice Goddess.............................................29 Freewill Astrology.........................................30 Classifieds....................................................31

Cover Photo by: Two Twisted Trees Photography Northern Express Weekly is published by Eyes Only Media, LLC. Publisher: Luke Haase 129 E Front Traverse City, MI Phone: (231) 947-8787 Fax: 947-2425 email: info@northernexpress.com www.northernexpress.com Executive Editor: Lynda Twardowski Wheatley Finance & Distribution Manager: Brian Crouch Sales: Kathleen Johnson, Lisa Gillespie, Katy McCain, Mike Bright, Michele Young, Randy Sills, Todd Norris For ad sales in Petoskey, Harbor Springs, Boyne & Charlevoix, call (231) 838-6948 Creative Director: Kyra Poehlman Distribution: Matt Ritter, Randy Sills, Kathy Twardowski, Austin Lowe Listings Editor: Jamie Kauffold Contributing Editor: Kristi Kates Reporter: Patrick Sullivan Contributors: Amy Alkon, Ross Boissoneau Rob Brezsny, Jennifer Hodges, Al Parker, Michael Phillips, Steve Tuttle, Meg Weichman Copyright 2017, all rights reserved. Distribution: 36,000 copies at 600+ locations weekly. Northern Express Weekly is free of charge, but no person may take more than one copy of each weekly issue without written permission of Northern Express Weekly. Reproduction of all content without permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Keli MacIntosh, Traverse City

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 3

this week’s

top ten Transforming East Jordan

3

Winterlochen

Winterlochen returns on Sat., Feb. 17… this year with Grammy-nominated folk, rock and children’s musical duo Trout Fishing in America, in Corson Auditorium, Interlochen Center for the Arts at 1pm. Consisting of free events and performances, Winterlochen also features a breakfast buffet at Hofbrau Steak House & American Grille, a two-mile fun run, snow painting, human snow bowling, creative writing, orchestra conducting, and much more. tickets.interlochen.org

4 With East Jordan Iron Works in the process of moving a dozen miles out of town, the city of East Jordan is looking to freshen up and transform itself from an industrial town to a tourist destination.

Downtown East Jordan is divided by a lake and a river into three sections, which is a liability and an asset, said Tom Cannon, city administrator. Streetscape and lakefront improvements and a new pedestrian bridge are planned to connect the downtown core The project, called Joining Jordan, began when the city decided to move a boat launch a half mile down the road, opening up three acres of Lake Charlevoix frontage.

The project should be approved in the spring and will be broken into stages to be accomplished over the next couple of years. It will be paid for by the Downtown Development Authority and state grants.

Meanwhile, when the Iron Works completes its move later this year, that private lakefront property is expected to be redeveloped also.

“We are kind of reinventing ourselves,” Cannon said.

Hey, watch it!

ALONE TOGETHER

Produced by Andy Samberg’s The Lonely Island and starring stand-up veterans (and real life besties) Esther Povitsky and Benji Aflalo, the new sitcom Alone Together has some considerable comedy chops. It follows two 20-something platonic (and they do mean platonic) friends navigating the image-obsessed terrain of L.A. Fitting right into some of the worst Millennial stereotypes, they’re not always an especially likeable pair, but their brutally honest comedy makes for some truly relatable and hilarious moments. Leave your previous conceptions of the Young Adult epicenter that is Freeform behind, because with this tonally revolutionary for the network show, along with the refreshingly sincere and hip spin-off of Black-ish, Grown-ish (also recommend), Freeform is totally having its own coming-of-age moment.

Wednesdays at 8:30pm on Freeform, streaming on Hulu, YouTube, and the Freeform app.

5 2 tastemakers

braised short rib

Bradley’s Pub and Grill might be the best-kept secret Up North right now. The cozy eatery is easy to forget this time of year, nestled as it is among the frozen fairways of the hibernating Interlochen Golf Course, but make no mistake: Under the crafty talents of new head chef Mike Fradette, this place is red hot with inspired entrees, salads (divine: roasted red and yellow beets and spring mix dusted with goat cheese and layered with clementine slices, toasted pine nuts, and a citrus vinegar), and even soups (Guinness Chocolate Chipotle Chili, anyone?) Hot on our list: Chef Mike’s braised short rib — 8 ounces of outrageously tender short ribs served with roasted butternut squash purée, crispy Brussels leaves and pancetta, charred onion, sweet and spicy pumpkin seeds, and a natural jus. $23 of heaven for a hearty meallovin man or lady. 10586 US-31, Interlochen.

(231) 275-6401, interlochengolf.com/bradleys

4 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

raising spirits.

That’s a number you can toast to.

That ’s the Power of Michigan Co-ops.™

6 Fresh Market Coming to Grayling A vacant and contaminated property just off I-75 in Grayling is slated to be transformed into a year-round indoor market.

Developers hope the $3.7-million Grayling Agricultural and Educational Center will become an attraction that draws locals and become a stop for travelers to northern Michigan.

“We’re in the middle of the middle here,” said Therese Kaiser, the market manager. “It’s going to be a very impressive, very big project.”

The complex will be a year-round retail market with spaces for 66 vendors. It will also house three commercial kitchens. Kaiser said they hope to open in April 2019.

The Crawford County Brownfield Redevelopment Authority was just awarded a $175,000 grant and a $175,000 loan from the Department of Environmental Quality for cleanup at the site, the former home of a sawmill on the I-75 business loop. The market is expected to create 100 jobs.

Michigan House in the House Calling all creative Michiganders: Before the brains promoting the state’s creative economy head to Austin for South by Southwest, they’re heading north — to the Little Fleet in Traverse City. They’ll bring Michigan-made food, beer, and spirits, plus music from Detroit acts Onefreq, and the NLR Experience; Grand Rapids band Major Murphy and DJ Adrian Butler (A/B); and local band Turbo Pup. Show up and raise a hot toddie, coffee cocktail, or Hot Poked Beer (that’s beer warmed and caramelized by a hot iron rod, eh?), chow down on some special Milkweed eats, and support Michigan House’s fourth trip to Texas and the 4-day, Michigan-made touch/taste/ feel experience it’s about to showcase on SXSW’s international stage. Tickets for the 3–11pm, Saturday, Feb. 17 event at Little Fleet, 448 E. Front St. are $20+, include two beers or one winter cocktail, at Mynorthtickets.com or the Little Fleet door. Learn more: creativemany.org, michiganhouse.org.

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What we love GRAMMAR jewelry Owner, designer, and maker of GRAMMAR jewelry line, Lake Ann’s Sarah Abend believes “Visual things that we’re attracted to communicate our innermost self and sensibility.” Her view reveals itself in a sculptural line of ceramic jewelry that’s crafted with a combo of ageold processes and critical forward-thinking. Abend handcrafts the jewelry in small batches, using materials she says are mindfully consumed and sourced locally. Her goal: to be a part of the transformation of what she sees as an often-harmful fashion design industry.

The necklaces are made of a surprisingly lightweight porcelain-like white clay. Their brass chains and clasps are lead- and nickel free, and she’s aiming to use recycled silver and gold chain in the future. We’d like to think it’d be ethically irresponsible not to wear one of these beauties. Find GRAMMAR and its retailers online at grammardesigns.com.

bottoms up mammoth distilling The only thing we like better than drinking Mammoth Distilling’s William Tell cocktail (shown here)?

Learning how to make the short pour of subtly sweet and winter-spicy Apple Pie Shrub in it. A half-ounce of the shrub — a macerated blend of apples cold-steeped in apple cider vinegar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and sugar — was paired with 2 ounces Mammoth whiskey and ¼ ounce of cinnamon simple syrup, all revealed in last week’s shrub-cocktail making class at Mammoth’s Traverse City outpost. Heartbroken you missed it? Don’t fret. Valentine’s Day brings something else to love: a whiskey and chocolate cocktail workshop that’ll teach you how to make a chocolate Martini, coffee hot cocoa with bourbon whipped cream, and more. You’ll make two drinks in-house, get recipes for four, and learn a load about cocktail-making basics. The Feb. 14 class happens 7–9pm; tickets are $30 per person (21+ only). Check out Mammoth’s calendar for other V-day events and upcoming winter classes. MammothDistilling.com

www.facebook.com/northernperfection

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 5

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SOMETHING HAPPENING

spectator by stephen tuttle Cape Town, South Africa, the country’s largest city with more than 3.7 million residents, is perilously close to running out of safe water. A wicked drought has drained their reservoirs and other water sources down to 13.5 percent of capacity.

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Voluntary, and some involuntary, water restrictions have proven nearly futile. If water use is not dramatically cut by May 11, and it seems unlikely such cuts will be made, water to most homes and businesses will be shut off. Residents will be forced to go to one of 200 water distribution centers, each serving about 20,000 residents, where they will receive their daily water ration of 26 liters, or about 6.6 gallons per household. (By comparison, the typical family in the United States uses about 300 gallons of water daily.)

The misery isn’t restricted to Cape Town.

Farther north in East Africa — ground zero for drought conditions — Somalia’s water shortage has led to famine that has already killed tens of thousands. South Sudan, Sudan, Nigeria, Yemen, and Ethiopia face similar calamities.

ada and Russia. In Australia, unprecedented heat caused massive wildfires and killed tens of thousands of bats, which simply fell to the ground, dead.

Some other places have enough potable water but way too much seawater. The U.S. Government has already paid nearly $50 million to relocate the remaining indigenous people from an island off the coast of Louisiana. An agricultural and fishing society, they’ve seen their 15,000 acre island slowly shrink to less than 450 acres.

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, (NOAA), another 31 such communities in Louisiana and coastal Alaska will also likely have to be relocated.

Regular high tides in Florida coastal areas now mean regular street flooding. Italy is trying to figure out how many billions they’re willing to spend on some kind of giant lock system to protect Venice, which is slowly but surely surrendering to higher sea levels. The Netherlands originally reclaimed about half their country from the sea and developed an enormous system of gates, dykes, and other barriers, only to watch the sea now fight back.

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Climate change we create would actually be preferable; changing behaviors could help change the outcomes.

If you don’t much care about Africa, then maybe looming problems in this country will get your attention.

Our own desert southwest, including a good chunk of Oklahoma and Texas, is experiencing severe drought conditions. Humans haven’t yet begun suffering but livestock, wildlife, and crops aren’t doing so well.

y

Of course, that part of the country always seems to have water shortage issues. But there is also a swath of drought conditions running all the way from Louisiana, across the southeast to Georgia, and including the Florida panhandle — areas typically drenched by seasonal rains. Both North and South Dakota have been similarly afflicted.

Then there’s southern California, a wildly overpopulated desert coast. They find themselves in an especially destructive cycle.

A long drought baked the ground almost impenetrably hard. When the rains finally came, they did so in torrents.

The reservoirs were replenished and some untamed brush flourished, but the hard ground absorbed little, resulting in flash floods. When record heat returned, so did deadly, record-breaking wildfires. Without vegetation, the next rain brought more floods and mudslides. Drought, floods, heat, fires, more floods, more heat ...

6 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

California was not alone. Record-breaking heat and wildfires also consumed hundreds of thousands of forest land in western Can-

All of this could just be coincidental, a blip on the climate radar sure to disappear as quickly as it arrived. Or it could be part of a natural climate cycle. Or, as the overwhelming majority of climate scientists believe, the high temperatures, droughts, floods and coastal flooding are the canaries in the climate coal mine. They believe our unquenchable thirst for burning fossil fuels, and their accompanying carbon dioxide emissions, are the direct cause of these anomalies, and they won’t go away absent human intervention.

Climate change we create would actually be preferable; changing behaviors could help change the outcomes. But natural climate cycles are virtually immune to human intervention, can be exceedingly unpleasant, and last a very long time — what we generally refer to as the Ice Age lasted about 10,000 years. We maybe should be stockpiling food.

Our government has inexplicably decided the best solution is to close its eyes and stumble ahead blindly. So we’re drilling more, mining more, and yammering on about “clean coal.”

(As an aside, there is no such thing as “clean coal.” Coal being burned today is exactly the same filthy stuff it was a century ago; power plants are required to reduce emissions, but coal is the same.)

Something is happening to global climate.

If we’re causing it, we can fix it. If nature is causing it, we can prepare for it. If we ignore it, we’ll be punished by it.

Crime & Rescue TWO ARRESTED AFTER STAKE-OUT A tip about two Indiana men who allegedly hauled heroin and cocaine to northern Michigan prompted police to stake out an Honor convenience store, leading to a police pursuit.

Traverse Narcotics Team officers got the tip Feb. 2, set up surveillance, and spotted the suspects.

Once the suspects realized police were watching them, they attempted to get away, police said. The suspects crashed into a TNT vehicle and sped around Benzie County Sheriff and state police patrol vehicles, leading to a chase that took them and police into Long Lake Township in Grand Traverse County.

The driver eventually lost control and drove into a ditch. Police immediately arrested the passenger, a 36-year-old South Bend man, and located the driver, a 25-year-old South Bend man, shortly after he took off on foot and hid under a deck, police said.

Both suspects face drug, fleeing, and assault charges.

RESTAURATUER SENTENCED A former Traverse City restaurateur faces probation and must pay $266,609 for failing to pay taxes.

Keil Moshier, 50, will serve five years probation after striking a plea deal with the state attorney general’s office. Moshier was sentenced in Eaton County Feb. 1, according to an attorney general press release. Moshier paid $10,000 at sentencing, and the balance will be deducted from his monthly paychecks.

Moshier owned the restaurant MI Grille on Munson Avenue. Between 2012 and mid-2017, Moshier collected $99,000 in sales tax from customers but did not pass the money along to the state, department of treasury investigators determined. An additional $26,000 in payroll taxes from employees also wasn’t turned over.

The penalty represents the unpaid tax and a fine equal to that amount, plus interest. Moshier closed the restaurant in June and was charged in July.

CRASH CAUSES SERIOUS INJURIES A man was airlifted to the hospital after he crashed head-on with a propane truck.

Bellaire resident Thomas Ward, 51, suffered life-threatening injuries in the crash. He was taken to Munson Medical Center for treatment.

Antrim County Sheriff’s deputies investigated the crash, which occurred on SE Torch Lake Drive at 10:27am Feb. 7 in Forest Home Township.

Ward drove a Jeep Cherokee across the centerline and struck an oncoming Amerigas propane truck driven by a 27-year-old East Jordan man. The truck driver was treated at the scene.

APPARENT OVERDOSE CLAIMS MAN A Denny’s employee could not be revived after he overdosed in the restaurant’s restroom.

Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s deputies were called to the East Bay Township restaurant at 11:30pm Feb. 7 after the man was found unresponsive. Deputies’ attempted to revive him with Naloxone and CPR but were unsuccessful.

He was identified as 36-year-old Jerald Joseph Friedgen, a Tawas City resident who had moved to Traverse City.

BAD DRIVING LEADS TO ARREST Several people called 911 about an erratic driver on M-22 near Suttons Bay, leading to the arrest of a 19-year-old Maple City man.

Leelanau County Sheriff’s deputies started looking for the black Ford sedan at 3:30pm Jan. 31 after someone saw it strike a mailbox and sweep into a snow bank before continuing on.

A deputy spotted the car doing a U-turn south of Suttons Bay and made a traffic stop, arresting

by patrick sullivan psullivan@northernexpress.com

the teenage driver.

The deputy found alcohol and marijuana inside the vehicle, and the young man admitted that he had drank and smoked marijuana earlier in the day.

SUSPECT SPEEDS AWAY A suspect sped away just as police arrived at a Mayfield Township residence to investigate a “disorderly subject with a gun.”

Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s deputies responded to the residence on Bartlett Road Jan. 30 and attempted to get the man to pull over as he drove away. The man evaded the patrol car and led police on a 2.5-mile pursuit before he pulled into a driveway on M-37 and was arrested. where was arrested.

Deputies said the man, 58-year-old Thomas Rodney Hays of Buckley, smelled of alcohol; they found a loaded handgun under his seat for which he did not have a permit to carry. He faces charges of fleeing police, third-offense drunk driving, carrying a concealed weapon, and possession of a firearm while intoxicated.

DRUGS FOUND IN TRAFFIC STOP Police found marijuana and Xanax bars during a traffic stop in Suttons Bay. At 2:10am Feb. 3, state police pulled over a car on M-22 near Yacht Club Drive for having an obstructed plate. When they approached the vehicle, they were greeted with a strong odor of marijuana.

In a search, troopers found a backpack contained a bag full of several smaller baggies that contained marijuana; they also found four Zanax bars on the driver, who did not have a prescription.

They arrested the driver, a 21-year-old Lake Leelanau man, on charges of possession with intent to deliver marijuana and possession of Xanax. The passenger was driven home by police.

The Dec. 6 crash on Voice Road killed 25-yearold Tyler Dean Troyer, who was snow blowing his driveway during a winter storm that caused more than 70 crashes across the county. Investigators determined the woman lost control of her SUV at 5:40pm, left the road, and crashed into Troyer.

ERRATIC DRIVER ARRESTED Numerous people called 911 about a pickup truck driving all over the road and crashing into cars.

Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s deputies were dispatched at 6am Feb. 1 and investigated the property damage while state police responded to Munson Medical Center, where someone had spotted the wanted vehicle.

Troopers arrested a 36-year-old Interlochen man for driving under the influence of drugs and driving without a license. The suspect was also wanted on a fugitive warrant.

Investigators determined that the man left his home and took US-31 South to 11th Street after he took multiple doses of prescription medicine.

Troopers from the Cadillac Post investigated and identified the deceased as 62-year-old Farmington Hills resident Marc Ruben. An autopsy found no signs of trauma; investigators said narcotics use is suspected but they are awaiting toxicology results.

While state police were at the scene, Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s deputies were called to a nearby house to respond to a medical emergency. At the house, deputies found a woman who had been with the deceased earlier in the day.

The woman was arrested on unrelated charges.

Anyone with information about the death should call state police at (231) 779-6040.

SUSPICIOUS DEATH INVESTIGATED Police are investigating after a body was found near an Interlochen boat launch.

Ice fishermen found the body near the Green Lake boat launch off of Karlin Road at 9:30pm Feb. 6 and called police.

NO CHARGES IN FATAL CRASH A 29-year-old Maple City woman will not face charges for a December crash that took the life of a Kingsley man.

Prosecutors decided not to file a moving violation causing death charge against the woman, but did issue her a traffic ticket for driving too fast for conditions, Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s Capt. Randy Fewless said.

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Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 7

ZOMBIE VIRUSES, CLIMATE CHANGE, AND A SAFE BLANKET OF SULFIDE GASSES

opinion

bY Chris Struble On April 16, Cape Town South Africa is slated to become the first major city in history to officially run out of water; climate change and the worst drought in a century are considered the primary causes.

The devastation mankind has been able to inflict on our oceans, forests and fresh water supplies should be more than adequate evidence for each and every one of us to recognize: The unprecedented, non-cyclical warming, or climate changes, and resulting catastrophic stress on our environment is a direct result of man’s substantial overconsumption and contamination of the earth’s resources — and is compounded by a lack of concern for any form of sustainability.

Michigan, once hailed as the “underground forest” for its seemingly infinite expanse of

Currently there is a case of an archaeologist diagnosed with “seal finger,” a virus obtained by handling seal remains, which in this instance are said to be hundreds of years old. If this is indeed the source of the infection, wouldn’t the same be possible for other viruses and plagues, including those as deadly and widespread as the Spanish Flu of 1919?

The success of the Montreal Protocol on Substances that Deplete the Ozone Layer Act, an international treaty that phased out ozone-depleting substances, is prompting more proposals aimed at reversing the current warming trend. I encourage you to take a few moments and do some research on the two forerunners — and see if you can guess which one is more likely to start a fistfight within the scientific community:

As thousands and thousands of often perfectly preserved corpses of humans and animals from centuries past arise, so too does the debate as to whether the viruses and diseases encased within these forms are still able to infect.

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virgin lumber, was all but clear cut in a matter of just 20 years in the late 1800s, leaving millions of acres of near-barren wastelands.

In addition to the carnage suffered on land, our Great Lakes, which represent 21 percent of the earth’s fresh surface water, are today full of heavy metals, asbestos, mercury, and other toxins. Globally, an estimated 8 million tons of plastic makes its way into our oceans every year, inundating even the most remote areas and affecting hundreds of species.

And still, we continue to use both salt and freshwater as virtual dumping grounds.

Stratospheric aerosol injection: Proposes utilizing planes to continuously release sulfide gasses into the atmosphere, creating a layer between the sun, which in turn would hopefully have a cooling effect.

While I have become accustomed to the January thaw over the course of 50 winters spent above the 45th parallel, I do find it very disconcerting when, within three weeks this January, we witnessed the mercury fluctuate from as low as 26 degrees below zero to nearly 60 degrees above here in Petoskey. Australia, on the opposite side of the globe, was at the same time experiencing the hottest temperatures on record in over eight decades.

Either of these proposed options should be more likely to conjure up the image of the animated scientist from an episode of The Simpsons, rather than one of Einstein deep in thought.

The good news is, we probably don’t have to worry about the next Ice Age that we were all terrified about as kids, or the African killer bees of the ’70s and ’80s. Instead we now are faced with the possibility of the “Zombie Viruses!”

The melting ice shelves in several countries bordering the Arctic Circle, including Alaska, are exposing ancient ice-burial grounds. As thousands and thousands of often perfectly preserved corpses of humans and animals from centuries past arise, so too does the debate as to whether the viruses and diseases encased within these forms are still able to infect.

8 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

Co2 carbon capture and storage: Proposes burying vast amounts of Co2 — harvested from the atmosphere in various stages of gas or solids — in any remaining areas where we have not already contaminated the aquifers, soil, and the like with everything from human to nuclear waste.

If we can finally acknowledge the indisputable damage that we, the inhabitants of a mere one-third of the earth’s surface have managed to wreak upon our environment just three centuries — a geological blink of an eye — the obvious next step is to move toward practical and efficient solutions that will hopefully provide generations to come a happy, healthy planet, without the need for a mass exodus from our homes here on the third stone from the sun.

As George Carlin was fond of saying, “The earth is fine! It has endured for billions and billions of years. We’re the ones that are fu#%ed!”

Christopher Struble is the president of The Michigan Hemingway Society, owner of a small local business, a historian, and avid outdoorsman residing in Petoskey.

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Something to Sing About The Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts in Switzerland has a new course of study for scholars to pursue: a bachelor’s or master’s in yodeling. Beginning in the 2018-19 academic year, students will be able to major in the traditional form of singing, which was used

by Swiss herdsmen to communicate with each other in the mountains. The BBC reported that prize-winning yodeler Nadja Rass will lead the courses, which will also include musical theory and history. “We have long dreamed of offering yodeling at the university,” gushed Michael Kaufmann, head of the school’s music department. [BBC, 1/30/18] Names in the News Police in Logansport, Indiana, finally caught up with the thief who had been targeting churches in the area since Jan. 16: Christian J. Alter, 22, of Kewanna, was charged with breaking into five houses of worship and stealing cash, according to the Logansport Pharos-Tribune. Alter was apprehended Jan. 23 just moments before the fifth burglary, at Rehoboth Christian Church, was discovered by police. He was being held in the Cass County Jail. [Pharos-Tribune, 1/24/2018] The Continuing Crisis Birds nesting near natural gas compressors have been found to suffer symptoms similar to PTSD in humans, according to researchers at the Florida Museum of Natural History, and noise pollution has been named the culprit. The Washington Post reported the team studied birds in the Rattlesnake Canyon Habitat Management Area in New Mexico, which is uninhabited by humans but does contain natural gas wells and compression stations that constantly emit a low-frequency hum. The steady noise was linked to abnormal levels of stress hormones, and the usually hardy western bluebirds in the area were found to be smaller and displayed bedraggled feathers. “The body is just starting to break down,” explained stress physiologist Christopher Lowry. [The Washington Post, 1/9/2018] Armed and Naked In Texas, game wardens came across an arresting sight in Gregg County last November: an unnamed Upshur County man hunting in the nude along a state highway. The Houston Chronicle reported that the hunter, who is a wellknown nudist and activist in the area, contested his arrest on charges including hunting without a license, but one look in court at the warden’s body cam footage undermined his case. The man then dropped his appeals and settled the citations. [Houston Chronicle, 11/22/2017] You Have the Right to Remain Silent Vincente Rodrigues-Ortiz, 22, was arrested on Jan. 24 in Grand Rapids, Michigan, for the assault and murder of Andre Hawkins, 17, the day before. But when Rodrigues-Ortiz appeared in court on Jan. 25 for arraignment, he questioned the judge about his “other murder case.” WWMT TV reported that his query led prosecutors to interview and then swiftly charge him with the March 2017 homicide of Laurie Kay Lundeburg, and Rodrigues-Ortiz now awaits arraignment in that case as well.

[WWMT TV, 1/25/2018] Brutally Honest Kane Blake of Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada, has great things to say about his Springvalley home: “It’s a gorgeous neighborhood,” and his family loves most

things about it. Nevertheless, the Blakes have listed their home for sale, with a sign out front reading: “Home for Sale by owner because neighbor is an ---hole.” Blake said a neighbor has been harassing his family for five years, including sending police and bylaws officers to the house for frivolous reasons and taking photos of Blake’s house. “My kids won’t even walk to school, they’re terrified,” he told the Kelowna Capital News, adding that he’s received several offers on his house. (Update: Kane has since removed the sign.) [Kelowna Capital News, 1/27/2018]

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Toilet Ghost Homeowners in Noosa, Queensland, Australia, were perplexed about why their toilet kept randomly flushing, so on Jan. 28, they looked into the flush mechanism embedded in the wall behind the toilet. Then they summoned Luke Huntley, a local snake catcher. Huntley found a 13-foot brown tree snake in the niche, according to the Daily Mail, resting on the flush mechanism. “Hopefully, he’s going to be able to come straight out,” Huntley said on a video of the capture, “but he’s a little grumpy.” [Daily Mail, 1/28/2018] Bright Idea A landlord in Cardiff, Wales, was caught in a compromising position when he offered a special rent deal to an ITV Wales reporter with a hidden camera. The unnamed man posted an ad on Craigslist offering a 650-pound-permonth home with the option of a “reduced deposit/rent arrangement” for “alternative payments.” When he met reporter Sian Thomas at a restaurant to discuss the property, he said, “I don’t know if you have heard of a sort of ‘friends with benefits’ sort of arrangement,” reported Metro News on Jan. 30. He went on to say that if a once-a-week sex arrangement could be struck, “then I wouldn’t be interested in any rent from you at all.” The ITV Wales report was part of an investigation into “sex for rent” arrangements, which apparently are not uncommon in Wales, judging from other advertisements. [Metro News, 1/30/2018] Government in Action -- Saugatuck, Michigan, attorney Michael Haddock’s dog, Ryder, probably gave the mail carrier a day off after receiving an unexpected letter on Jan. 27 from the State of Michigan Unemployment Insurance Agency. According to WZZM TV, Haddock opened the envelope addressed to Ryder and found a letter saying that Ryder is eligible for $360 per week in unemployment benefits. “I knew he was clever,” Haddock said of Ryder, “but he surprised me this time.” The UIA admitted that its computer did send the notice to Ryder, but it was later flagged as suspicious, and the German shepherd won’t receive any benefits after all. [WZZM, 1/31/2018] -- In New Hampshire, the state legislature is considering a bill that would hold owners of poultry responsible for the birds’ trespassing.

According to the proposal, reported by the Associated Press, “anyone who knowingly, recklessly or negligently allows their domestic fowl to enter someone else’s property without permission” can be convicted if the birds damage crops or property. Rep. Michael Moffett, a Loudon Republican, told a committee on Jan. 30 that one man told him his neighbor was using chickens as a “form of harassment and provocation.” But Earl Tuson, a local vegetable farmer, opposed the bill, noting, “Everyone loves eating bacon until they move in next to the pig farm.” [Associated Press, 1/30/2018]

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THE SAGA OF NOVERR FARMS A wedding venue overlooking South Lake Leelanau has spurred years of acrimony and lawsuits between its owner and his neighbors. The coming of a new events ordinance from Elmwood Township might stop the party, but will it stop the madness?

By Patrick Sullivan A nasty years-long battle between neighbors in the pastoral hills of South Lake Leelanau might be settled soon. But one of the parties, Frank Noverr, has no intention of settling down.

At the heart of the conflict is Noverr’s barn and 26-acre farm, a stunning lakeview parcel he opens to weddings and other private events — events his neighbors say are raucous nuisances to the neighborhood and have prompted police response on at least two occasions.

Elmwood Township refused in 2016 to grant Noverr a permit to hold commercial events at the property, and Noverr is appealing that decision in circuit court.

Meanwhile, Noverr’s neighbors have brought a separate lawsuit against him in hopes of having his venue shuttered.

Meanwhile, as the township is inching closer to rewriting its events ordinance — a process both sides have attempted to influence and are watching closely — it looks like a legal resolution might end the battle between Noverr and his neighbors, but perhaps not their war.

“First of all, I am going to continue to do what I’m doing,” Noverr said. “There’s no judge that’s going to tell me I can’t have noncommercial events on my land for friends and family.”

FROM DISPUTE TO LAWSUIT How did things get so bad between a successful Traverse City businessman known for his publishing and cellular companies and a group of well-off neighbors, many of whom live on the shore of Lake Leelanau?

“That’s the $64,000 question,” said Noverr’s attorney, Matthew Vermetten.

“I don’t know. You know, the neighbors

concern. They think we’re just silly, making complaints.”

For Ferguson, the dispute is about allowing intense commercial use of a 35mph road on what was, until Noverr, a quiet residential area. She believes that large wedding venues should be buffered from neighbors or relegated to land that’s zoned commercial.

“I think Mr. Noverr says, ‘I’m an NRA member, I believe in property rights, and I should be able to do whatever I want to do with my property.’” also sued the township. I think it’s been an arduous battle with that group. …

Regrettably, it’s taken on a life of its own.”

Karen Ferguson, the attorney who represents South Lake Leelanau Association of Neighbors, or SLAN, said she believes relations got so bad because Noverr strenuously defends his property rights but has no respect for those of his neighbors.

“I think Mr. Noverr says, ‘I’m an NRA member, I believe in property rights, and I should be able to do whatever I want to do with my property,’” Ferguson said. “I think it got so bad because there’s no empathy, no

10 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

In court, she’s filed affidavits from neighbors who describe loud pulsating music booming into their homes late at night and streams of bright headlights coming down the hill and beaming through windows.

Vermetten called the complaints overblown and exaggerated. Vermetten said the weddings that have taken place there in the last couple of years have been for friends and family. He said Noverr also has hosted the TART Trail annual meeting, a Northwestern Michigan College retreat, and an event for Munson Medical Center donors.

Vermetten said townships should allow

farm owners to host events; he argues that the revenue stream helps support the farm-scape, preserving the character of the region.

“What it does is promote open space and agriculture,” Vermetten said. “It is promoting that, rather than the planting of houses on every square inch of the township. … You want to have vineyards, you want to have apple cider trees, you want to have cattle.

You want to be able to keep these lands in agriculture, but also your let the landowner make a living.”

Disputes over agricultural event venues are not limited Elmwood Township.

St. Ambrose Cellars was informed by Homestead Township in Benzie County that its event space was in violation of ordinance and ordered to cease all events in early February. The popular winery/meadery hired an attorney and is challenging the order.

I SUE, YOU SUE There are two cases related to the dispute pending in the 13th Circuit Court. The first is an appeal Noverr filed in January 2017 after the township planning commission rejected his request for a special-use permit to hold events on his property.

Noverr had filed a request for a conditional land-use permit in September 2015. That request, which was based on

Noverr let the responders through. But when they finally reached the 30-year-old guest, she was, as described in the police report, limp and drooling, with her eyes rolled back into her head. The woman was taken to Munson and survived.

the previous township master plan that allowed special events at wineries, got mired in debate. At issue: whether what Noverr owned constituted a winery. Of his 26 acres, only five were planted with grapes, but he sent those elsewhere to be turned into wine; he was having trouble obtaining a winery license from the Michigan Liquor Control Commission.

SLAN also raised objections about the effects of the events held on Noverr’s property. They complained about amplified music and vibrating bass, the impact of delivery vehicles and traffic, and lack of buffering.

“The record is clear that past events on site have had adverse impacts on neighbors, including noise, traffic congestion, and the shining of light into neighboring houses as vehicles leave the site at night,” Ferguson wrote in a court filing.

SLAN’s attempt to intervene in the appeal was rejected by Judge Larry Nelson; and Noverr’s appeal is on hold while the township rewrites its master plan.

Meanwhile, another other lawsuit is at work — this one stems from one Noverr and another party filed against SLAN last September. The purpose of that lawsuit was to get injunction against SLAN, preventing it from staging a protest in the public roadway during an upcoming wedding.

Ferguson said no one from SLAN was planning to protest the wedding, but nonetheless, that suit offered an opportunity to file a counter-lawsuit to seek an injunction against Noverr on the grounds that the events he holds on his property are nuisances.

While that Sept. 16 wedding went off without protest, she argued, neighbors repeatedly called police beginning at around 10pm that night because of the music, loud drunken laughter, and screeching that was coming from Noverr’s barn.

Vermetten filed a motion to have the countersuit dismissed on the grounds that the event was a private party, not a commercial event.

He wrote that the complaints from the neighbors amount to “a few key gripes” that don’t rise to the level of nuisance.

“In the tradition of ‘good fences make good neighbors,’ curtains, white noise machines, perhaps an extra glass of wine, are the appropriate and best prescription,” Vermetten wrote in his response.

A hearing on the motion to dismiss is

scheduled for March 9. If that motion fails, a three-day bench trial on the question of whether Noverr’s barn is a nuisance is scheduled to begin April 25.

SACRED VOWS AND 911 CALLS Noverr believes that no matter the outcome of the lawsuits, he will be able to go on hosting the kind of events he’s been hosting for the last couple of years.

Ferguson disagrees. She said the scale of Noverrs events, which typically involve caterers, port-a-potty deliveries, and significantly increased traffic, are on a scale larger than what you’d expect of a private event. She said it is irrelevant whether someone pays Noverr to hold an event on his property or not.

“In our opinion, no, it doesn’t matter,” Ferguson said. “It will not matter [under the new zoning code] whether or not he’s paid for them — they will be special events because they are special events.”

It’s exactly these “non-commercial events” that have been the sources of the neighbors’ ire for years.

In one highly publicized case in August 2016, someone at a wedding on Noverr’s property called 911 for help after a guest suffered an overdose of either drugs or alcohol.

When a sheriff ’s deputy arrived to respond to the call, Noverr blocked his driveway with his Jeep, preventing the deputy from responding, according to a police report.

“Noverr stated that I needed to shut off my emergency lights and turn my vehicle around and that I was on his property,” the deputy wrote. The deputy had asked Noverr to verify his address and informed him that he, the deputy, was responding to an emergency call that someone on the property needed help. An ambulance pulled up behind the deputy.

“Noverr said he’d just come from his residence, and it was just his wife there, and no one needed assistance,” the deputy wrote.

The deputy eventually warned Noverr that he would be responsible if “something were to happen,” according to the police report.

As the deputy started to leave, someone in a golf cart approached, got out, pointed up the hill, and said someone there needed help.

“There was, in fact, a large wedding party taking place, and hundreds of people in the barn,” the deputy wrote.

CHARGES LAID; CHARGES DISMISSED Noverr said his exchange with the deputy was mischaracterized in the police report.

He said he did not pretend that there was no wedding taking place on his property.

In fact, Noverr said, he had informed the sheriff ’s department the day before that a wedding was going to take place.

“Once I started having issues with the neighbors calling the police all the time, I started calling the sheriff every time [to notify them before holding an event], Noverr said.

Noverr said there was confusion at first because no one knew the location of the ailing person.

Leelanau County prosecutors initially charged Noverr with felony resisting and obstructing police — charges that were later dismissed and replaced with misdemeanor charges. The misdemeanor case was also soon dismissed. At the time, Prosecutor Joseph Hubbell released a statement saying he’d dismissed the charge amid an agreement with Noverr that all future responders could access the driveway.

Vermetten said the charges were dismissed because they were baseless.

Ferguson disagreed.

“There was no misunderstanding,” Ferguson said. “He used his Jeep to block the access. If that person had died, he would have been in big trouble.”

Ferguson said she suspects Noverr skated free of the criminal cases because of his prominence in the community.

“I think it’s because he’s a big name in the township,” she said.

The incident became part of SLAN’s argument against Noverr getting a special land-use permit, in part because it showed that the narrow driveway that accesses the property can easily impede an emergency responder from reaching the barns. The group cited the township fire chief, who said he was concerned about access to the property.

Noverr said he is willing to make improvements if the’re necessary.

“We’ve offered to put in five turnoffs coming up the driveway, and there’s places that you can pull over in the grass if there’s an emergency vehicle coming up the hill,” he said.

“I WON’T BACK DOWN” The overdose incident was not the first time deputies have investigated allegations against Noverr.

Charlie Kaufman is one of SLAN’s most vocal neighbors. His house sits across the road from Noverr’s driveway.

For several years, neighbors have alleged that Noverr repeatedly took out his boat late at night and, from its loudspeakers, blasted Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” at their homes.

At the Jan. 8 Elmwood Township board of trustees meeting, Kaufman said he knew of at least 18 times when he or other neighbors witnessed someone in a boat after dark blaring loud music in their direction.

Finally, Kaufman told the trustees, someone ID’d Noverr in the boat, and they went to the sheriff ’s department to make a complaint. They were told there was nothing the police could do because the township doesn’t have a sound ordinance.

A deputy took a report from another neighbor in July 2016 who shone a spotlight onto a boat as it blasted music and tracked it back to Noverr’s dock. By the time the

deputy arrived, whoever was in the boat was long gone.

The deputy told the complainant it would be futile for him to question Noverr, according to a police report.

“I told [the woman] that I know Mr. Noverr, and if I go and confront him, he’s going to only deny the allegations,” the deputy wrote.

In an interview with the Express, Noverr denied ever taking out his boat to blast music and harass neighbors.

“I think it’s made up out of thin air, and it doesn’t have anything to do with the issue at hand,” Noverr said.

When he was interviewed about the allegations by the Leelanau Enterprise in 2015, Noverr told the paper that he would neither confirm nor deny that he was responsible.

“I do like music. I do like Tom Petty. And I definitely won’t back down,” Noverr told the newspaper.

Ferguson said the musical harassment, usually between 11pm and 2am in the summer, demonstrates the kind of person her clients have had to deal with with.

“He goes along the shoreline, and he blasts music,” Ferguson said. “He continues to do that. It’s very juvenile.”

A NEW MASTER PLAN Meanwhile, trustees have been busy trying to figure out how to regulate events in the township.

They spent hours discussing how to word the special events ordinance at that Jan. 8 meeting. The trustees grappled with questions like how to determine the threshold when noise becomes a problem and how to weigh the property rights of one resident against the property rights of their neighbors.

Township Supervisor Jeff Shaw said officials took pains to set aside the NoverrSLAN dispute while they considered language for the ordinance.

“It has been the goal from the beginning to keep the Noverr situation and any other specific incidences out of the process,” Shaw said.

Shaw said the intent of the special events policy is to preserve open space by giving owners of farmland other opportunities to make money.

“We all know they could sell their property to developers and make a lot of money up front,” Shaw said. “I think it’s important that we don’t let a specific situation dictate a zoning ordinance that affects all of the residents.”

Ferguson said she thinks Noverr’s plans are at odds with the kind of agricultural preservation that the zoning change seeks to encourage.

“Once you start covering your agricultural land with parking for commercial events, how much actual farming are you going to be doing?” she said. “It just seems like the wrong way to go.”

Noverr vows that his farm will one day either become a licensed event center or a winery with a tasting room that hosts “winery-related activities.”

Vermetten said he hopes to get a fair hearing. He said officials were biased against Noverr’s plans in his first permit application.

Once the new language is adopted, Noverr and Vermetten plan to make an application for a permit to host commercial events.

Ferguson plans to respond.

“We are going to present very similar information, and the standards are going to be pretty similar,” Ferguson said. “Once they adopt an amendment, and then Noverr makes an application, then we present our case to the planning commission.”

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 11

What is Marriage Apart from God? Bill’s statement Are we on a fool’s errand? Scott and I are addressing the question “What is marriage apart from God?” Broadly understood, marriage is a cultural universal.

Yet, a cursory search of the internet reveals the cultural, historical, theological, political, and economic complexity of marriage. Even among Christians there is disagreement over the sacramental nature of marriage and who may embrace the bonds of holy matrimony.

Rev. Dr. William C. Myers While I respect those engaged in a committed secular Senior Pastor marriage, be it common law or state sanctioned, and at Presbyterian could speculate on any number of reasons for such arChurch of rangements, I’m ill-prepared to speak on their deeper Traverse City meaning. Neither can I speak for those whose relationships are sometimes rejected by the church. But I do wonder, does any marriage, even those unrecognized by the church, stand outside the providence of God? Is God not present even in broken relationships?

I appreciate the protests of those who say, “Our relationship doesn’t need the state’s A LOCAL PASTOR sanction or the church’s blessing.” The quality of their relationship is often what I would hope for many of the marriages I perform.

Moreover, I embrace the pain of those who have been denied access to the Lord’s table or the marriage altar over issues such as divorce or gender. Here, too, their relationships can be as holy as any I solemnize.

As a pastor, I embrace the traditional view of marriage as a blessing from God given for the well-being of the entire human family. However, I also affirm the theological concept of “grenzfall,” or the exception to the rule. “Grenzfall” allows the Spirit to remain free amidst the constraints of our theological and cultural traditions.

As a person of faith, it’s hard for me to imagine any marriage apart from God. As the scriptures proclaim: “ … love is from God, everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7) If a marriage is born in love, how can it be apart from God?

Scott’s statement Marriage is many things. To the state, it is a status affecting inheritance, medical decisions, and how a couple might file their taxes. It’s odd that the state singles out ordained clergy to perform a role in weddings that is essentially that of a notary public.

Odd also, that some people think the whole institution of marriage is harmed because the state now extends to Scott Blair couples of the same sex the opportunity to enter into the Blair is a conarrangement. sultant in the Religions often impose additional expectations on marwastewater treatriages.

I am not sure they improve the experience — somement field and times limiting spousal choice, disallowing birth control, president of the imposing an imbalance of rights and power (with women Grand Traverse Humanists. usually the losers), or restricting ways a couple might be permitted to get to know one another before marrying.

Biologically, marriage (long-term-mate relationship) is a teaming between parents for feeding, protecting, and teaching their offspring, which enhances the likelihood of ATHEIST DEBATE their genes being carried into the future.

Socially, marriage is a way of categorizing those who hitch their lives and fortunes together and arrive together at parties.

But, marrying is also a statement of romantic enthusiasm. I find I have a deep romantic streak. Watching the movie Witness, I rooted for Harrison Ford’s and Kelly McGillis’ characters to get together. He was a natural for a simpler life when removed from the world of a big city cop; she needed to escape the confines of a religious order that trapped her and prescribed whom she would marry. “Run away!” I said to the screen. My and my wife’s story covers many years and is one of love eventually overcoming a religious difference.

Of course, a couple must be rational as well as emotional if they are considering marriage, and there are alternative arrangements that people might find completely suitable. But, whatever it might be in the eyes of the state, society, or church, for those inclined to do it, may marrying always remain an act of romantic enthusiasm!

CROSSED

Scott’s reply Bill says he is ill-prepared to speak to the deeper meaning in secular marriages. But he is not ill-prepared, and he did speak to them. He understands that as a cultural universal, marriage exists where Christianity does not. He notes secular relationships are sometimes of a quality he hopes for in marriages he performs. He sees that people form committed, loving relationships though they might have been previously divorced or of the same gender. Bill recognizes that people are free to live outside religious traditions. His comments acknowledge that whatever marriage is, it can be those things without religious belief.

But Bill loses me at the supernatural: Marriage involves love, therefore God must be part of it, even if unknown to the couple? Must every stirring of our hearts be attributed to this invisible mystical thing?

AND A LOCAL

Bills’s reply I agree with Scott that marriage can mean different things to different people.

Yet, I wouldn’t make sweeping generalizations about the impact of religious expectations, as if all religions shared common beliefs and practices. People of faith find God’s blessing to be a vital part of their marriage. As Scott exemplifies, the vows they make before God add richness to their relationship some simply can’t understand. Not to mention, some of the practices Scott identifies may be cultural rather than religious. Yes, there are traditions and practices that I personally question, but I’m mindful of the cultural bias I bring — and the risk of appearing elitist — by condemning that which I don’t understand. A marriage born in divine love need not be Christian to be of God.

Agree statement Bill and Scott agree that people inside and outside of religious traditions have opportunity to experience full, rich, loving relationships, and that the conventionality of a union is not an indication of its value.

12 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

WITH THE BAND? If your hearts are set on live music for your wedding, read this first.

By Ross Boissoneau The flowers. The dress. The cake. And, oh, the music. All the elements of a wedding and reception are important, but oftimes it’s the lattermost that gets the most attention and offers the most variables. String quartet?

Pianist? Rock band? Polka band?

While DJs are still a popular alternative for receptions, the energy of a top-flight band is hard to replicate. David Chown has played hundreds of weddings and receptions over the years, with his previous band the Lookout Cats and now with various groups featuring his longtime vocalist partner, Miriam Pico. He said what clients want depends on the individuals and the clients, but typically it’s a mixed bag. He offers what he calls “a variety of styles — swing and Sinatra to classic rock, disco and Motown.

We are not a Top 40 band. We don’t attempt to stay up on the latest music,” he said.

Neither do Jerry and Ryan Younce. The Younce Guitar Duo has performed across the state, including at a number of weddings and receptions. While they are sometimes aided and abetted by a percussionist or bassist, the bulk of the music comes from the 12 strings of the father and son duo.

Jerry said their instrumental-only music is most often used during a cocktail hour but sometimes it’s for the entire evening. “We like when the bride and groom are looking for us — the Younce Guitar Duo — not just something to fill a space,” he said. “We don’t try to put a band together for dancing. That’s not what we do.”

But they will rearrange familiar fare in a manner that suits both the music and their approach. “Most Beatles songs we can do.

We once did a whole Beatles show,” Younce said. And it’s not just the Fab Four. “We did a Led Zeppelin wedding on Lake Charlevoix. I wasn’t listening to that music as a kid, yet I delved into it and found some nuggets, some nice melodies.” Changing up power chords to jazzy harmonies, the two satisfied their clients and themselves.

While there are a number of bands that travel from downstate, that can also drive up costs. While most all the musicians contacted were reluctant to quote any particular prices, saying cost depends on a number of factors, Chown said local musicians are invariably less expensive.

“A six-piece for three or four hours will

probably be upwards of $3,000. You bring a good party band up from Detroit, and it will be seven to ten grand, plus lodging, travel and meals,” he said.

That’s good news for bands like Mac Daddy. Voted “Best Band” by TV 7&4 and 29&8 viewers, the group covers a wide variety of material: Stevie Wonder, Lenny Kravitz, Faith Hill, the Eagles, Maroon Five, Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, Black Eyed Peas, Journey, and Michael Jackson are all part of the group’s set list. The group’s been around for nearly 20 years and counts over 1,000 weddings among its 1,700 gigs.

If you’re not sure what you want, the Freshwater Collective may be the place to turn. M’Lynn Hartwell maintains a database of hundreds of musicians, most from this region, which she can draw from to put together most any kind of band or music. String trio? Got it. Piano and flute duo? Check. Multi-instrument band with a cadre of vocalists, playing country and rock classics? Absolutely.

“It’s the best musicians in northern Michigan, with people from Grand Rapids or Detroit as needed to supplement it,” she said. “They can put on a funk show, do Top 40, radio hits, classic rock or country.” That’s essential for a lot of wedding receptions, where guests range in age from 8 to 80, with as many corresponding preferences.

“Weddings are one of life’s ultimate experiences,” said Hartwell. “What we’re selling is musical experiences. We take care of the details and make sure they deliver a good show.” Among the many musicians she works with are familiar faces like Al Jankowski, Ron Getz, Stu Ford; and vocalists like Elizabeth Sexton Rivers, Miriam Pico, and Dawn Campbell, and even The Voice finalist Joshua Davis.

And don’t forget technology advances, which have helped bands compete with the hundreds of songs a DJ can pull up on a moment’s notice. “What happened with the iPod was revolutionary for me,” said Chown. He said songs which are impossible for him to cover are now available for him to quickly and easily download, enabling him to placate the most demanding groups.

“Give me 20 or 30 songs you’ve got to have, and if we don’t play it, we’ll let it rip on an iPod,” he said. He said it’s a perfect way to give partiers something to dance to while the band is taking a break.

For more information on our beautiful weddings, contact events coordinator Tonya Dey: 231.223.4110 ext. 113 events@chateauchantal.com

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Join us for live music, food, drinks, a silent auction, 50-50 raffle and much more!

Let’s ‘Band Together’ for Brother Dan’s Food Pantry!

The Entertainers

Noon Pete Kehoe & Michelle Chenard Folk Rock

1 pm The Myk Rise Band

Sunday Feb.18, 2018 Noon to 9 pm

doors open at 11:30 am

Classic Rock

2 pm Northern Nights Country

3 pm James Greenway Band Classic Rock / Pop

4 pm Petoskey Steel Drum Ensemble 5 pm Craig Cottrill Band Classic Rock / Soul

6 pm Easy Picks

It’s a special day for you and your Valentine - and kids and families, too!

Enjoy local entertainment at its best in a festive setting to benefit a terrific local cause:

Brother Dan’s Food Pantry in Petoskey!

Emmet County Fairgrounds Community Building use Eppler Road entrance

$15 / person 12 and under enter free

Honky Tonk

7 pm Charlie’s Root Fusion

Price includes entertainment and lots of great food! Cash bar for pop, water, beer & wine.

Blues Rock

8 pm Petoskey All Star Jam! Order of appearance subject to change without notice

Entertainment brought to you by

Want to do more?

Help fill our boxes at the front entry by bringing nonperishable canned goods and boxed food for the pantry!

Community Building at the Fairgrounds provided by Emmet County Parks and Rec

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 13

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Driver Assessment | Hand Therapy | Healthy Weight Center | Lab Pain Management Program | Pediatric Therapy | Pharmacy | Physical and Aqua Therapy | Sleep Center | Speech Therapy | Urgent Care | X-ray 550 Munson Ave., Traverse City | 231-935-5000

Empire Community Health Center** Lab | Pharmacy | Physical Therapy 9973 Ottawa Ave., Empire | 231-213-1119

Paul Oliver Memorial Hospital - Frankfort** CT Scan | Hand Therapy | Hearing Clinic | Lab | MRI Occupational Therapy | Physical Therapy | Speech Therapy | X-ray 224 Park Ave., Frankfort | 231-352-2204 * A Service of Munson Medical Center ** A Service of Paul Oliver Memorial Hospital

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Munson Outpatient Services - West* Lab | Physical Therapy 5191 Rosewood Dr., Traverse City | 231-213-1135

For more information or services in your area, visit munsonhealthcare.org/outpatient

14 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

The Secret to a Long, Happy Marriage?

Longtime loves spill all

By Al Parker Couples who have been happily married for 30, 40, 50 years or more have accomplished a feat that almost everyone who ties the knot aspires to: They’ve reached old age together and are happy with their choice of a life partner.

Long-married couples have shared life’s happiest moments and weathered its biggest challenges. They have beaten the odds of both death and divorce. According to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research, only 7 percent of all current marriages reach the 50-year mark.

So how’d they do it?

The Northern Express contacted couples across northern Michigan to get their insights into a long, happy marriage.

Barbara and Lester “Phil” Lawrence, Kalkaska Married 69 years “Listen to each other with love and patience.”

Ella May and Leo Barber, Kalkaska Married 68 years “Respect for each other. And let her be the boss.”

Maxine and Gerald McCullen, Kalkaska Married 65 years “Listen to the point of view of the other person. They have ideas also.”

Virginia and Tom Prather, Traverse City Married 63 years “It is important when your husband is out doing something that you don’t forget to make a plan for yourself as well,” said Virginia. “Men lead the household and should have the first consideration, and then it is important that your husband includes you and cares that you will be doing something you like to do while he is enjoying himself.”

“I agree, but we were married and raised our children in a different time,” said Tom. “Couples need to be patient and understanding of each other’s feelings, remembering you are in this relationship together, so you need to work together to keep things good. And always remember to communicate with each other, never hold anything in, and never let the sun set on your anger.”

Ruth and Bob Tobey, Manistee Married 62 years “Communicate. We always communicate, and that’s the key. And we get along. We’ve always been happy.”

Charlotte and Harlan Kott, Manistee Married 61 years “You’ve got to ride the waves. You’re going to have problems, but you work them out together. If we had money problems, he’d just work harder to pay for things. When the kids got older, I cleaned houses. I still clean houses for two gentlemen. You can’t just sit. If you sit down, you might as well forget it.”

Angie and Donald Nixon, Traverse City Married 53 years “You always put the other first.”

Suzann and Jim Jacobs, Onekama Married 49 years “Love, respect, mutual friendship, common interests, freedom of choice with regard to activities with friends, not having to do everything as a couple. Travel, support when things become difficult, laughter, music, family are some of the things that come to mind. Being able to say ‘I’m sorry,’ not placing blame, and being able to work as a team. Being able to have our own interests, hobbies, etc. Also, we are polar opposites at times with regards to interests. It’s like Metallica vs. Earth, Wind and Fire!

Cathie and Dr. David Martin, Traverse City Married 49 years.

“Coming on 50 years of marriage to Dave still holds magic, surprises and humor, not necessarily in that order,” said Cathie. “When we met, we were attracted to each other — like most people in their early 20s — by good looks and charm. What kept us dating the second, third, and many times that year was a growing friendship and respect for each other’s ideas and values. Just when I think I know everything about this man, I learn something I didn’t know. Neither of us look like we did 50 years ago, yet when he walks into the room or comes through the door, there’s still the magic that ignited the romance — as if we are still sitting on the couch listening to Johnny Mathis. Oh, and kissing— still lots of kissing “Fifty years seems like a long time on paper, but real time flows much more quickly,” said Dr. Martin. “One minute, I’m marrying this beautiful, young woman with whom I doubted I could get a date; and now, I still can’t wait to see her, talk to her, hold her, and learn what she thinks. She continually serves as an inspiration to me. She remains the noblest person I have ever met. My happy marriage has been built on great respect for my mate and having many laughs along the way. Our success has also been supported by the love of our two daughters, who have taken on all the good character of their mother.”

Diane and Charlie Johnston, Traverse City Married 45 years “We both take our wedding vows seriously and refer to them as needed. Corny but true.

Little bit of luck getting it right. The time doesn’t hurt either.”

Joyce and David Petrakovitz, Cadillac Married 44 years “I am constantly amazed by that longevity, considering we have also worked together [26 years] and really spent 24/7, 365 days a year together for the most part. I guess the secret is to marry someone you have a lot in common with. In our case, it’s love for art and the arts in general, outdoor activities, and respect for each other as individuals. The criteria is probably different for everyone depending on their personalities, but one interesting thing is most of our closest friends have long marriages also. We were at a party years ago when we only knew the [host]. He had been married three times, and it turned out my husband and I were the only people

Duke and Marian Longstreet

still married to their original partner. I thought that was interesting.”

Pat and Chip Denison, Honor Married 48 years “Chip and I are both 70 years old this year.

We have been together since we were 17 years old. One part of enjoying all this togetherness is that we accepted very early on that different is good. Our brains work in very different ways, but fortunately, we’re usually making our way to the same destination. When we do have energetic squabbles, Chip just has to say in a very deadpan way, ‘Different is good.’ It makes me laugh and takes the excess heat out of confrontations. Two solutions to a problem

make for interesting choices. We are both good problem-solvers and collaborate to find ways to get the most fun out of our lives together. Shared fun is the best.”

Marian and Harvey “Duke” Longstreet, Cadillac Married 67 years “You have to be Dutch, but most important you have to be a Christian,” said Duke.

“Also, marry a valedictorian so she can do the taxes.”

“You have to pay attention to each other,” said Marian, the valedictorian of the 1949 class at McBain High School. “Don’t take each other for granted.”

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 15

Think Outside the White Box Karra Leigh Photography

Traditional wedding and reception halls suit traditional functions fine, but if you’re looking to host your guests in a less conventional way, here’s some ideas.

By Ross Boissoneau Most wedding receptions follow the same format. It doesn’t really matter where it’s held or who the participants are. “You eat, drink, dance and go home,” said Tracy Magoon, an events planner with Social Butterfly in Traverse City.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to spice things up, to twist tradition a little bit, to think outside the box. Or to not use a box at all. Many couples celebrate their nuptials with beachside weddings featuring the Caribbean blue waters and sugar sand beaches of northern Michigan.

At the Homestead Resort in Glen Arbor, you can use stunning views of Lake Michigan as a backdrop. “We have a lot of outdoor weddings and receptions on Bay Mountain, the top of the ski hill,” said Lynzie Gotshall, one of the resort’s wedding sales associates.

Crystal Mountain Resort in Thompsonville can’t offer Lake Michigan, but it does provide some special surroundings. Meaghan James of Fox and Fern Events is working with a couple having their reception this summer at the Top of the Mountain at Crystal Mountain. They’re doing a long table with al fresco dining and having the dance floor will overlook NoMi. Their guests will access the area via ski-lift, like at the Homestead.

Then there’s The Field at Stone Road, which

Carmen Kott described as a “blank canvas” that only a few wedding parties a year can use but can set up however they desire. “It’s not your typical ballroom,” said Kott, a wedding and special events sales manager at the resort. She describes the spot as being “in the middle of nowhere” at the resort, a field surrounded by woods. That allows the wedding party to set it up however they want. But it also means bringing in everything — as in tents, tables, chairs, generators, water, port-a-potties everthing.

Another option is Legacy Art Park. The 30-acre outdoor sculpture park offers trails and a natural amphitheater that is perfect for wedding ceremonies. And Kott said a new option at the resort is the rooftop terrace at the Inn at the Mountain. Part of the resort’s recent $11 million expansion, Kott said it’s perfect for an intimate gathering.

Places like the Dhaseleer Events Barn outside Charlevoix, and Cherry Basket Farm of Omena offer actual barns, as well as outdoor locations for ceremonies. Another option is the Music House outside Acme. Tim Keaton, the executive director of the museum, said it is perfect for those looking to create a vintage-type atmosphere.

Stacy Horn of Juniper & Lace Events, who previously worked in Colorado before moving her operation to this region, has seen many a

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one-of-a-kind wedding. “Creating a memorable wedding experience could involve bringing in an elephant (one of my Denver colleagues did that), renting a mechanical bull for post-dinner entertainment, or taking guests on a sunset Nauti-cat tour in the Grand Traverse Bay,” she said. You could even have a surprise fireworks show — with the proper permits, of course.

She said there are also ways to spice up the expected cakes and beverages, often without breaking the bank, such as bringing out a dessert cordial with the wedding cake at dinner.

“Limoncello is a recent fave, but we also tried a raspberry cordial paired with chocolate at Black Star Farms recently that was divine,” she said. “I had a couple surprise guests with minimilkshakes passed through the crowd a couple hours into dancing, and they loved it. Since the couple’s love story involved milkshakes, it had personal meaning as well.”

Even the standard coffee can be complemented with some unexpected twists to craft a whole new, different and memorable experience. Horn said bringing in a Planetary Coffee truck or Mundos Roasting & Co. for some affogato (espresso over vanilla ice cream with chocolate shavings on top) takes coffee and dessert to a whole new level.

Magoon does offer at least one exception to

her rule about the sameness of receptions. She worked with clients who met while performing in a play, and took that experience to heart.

Rather than traditional toasts, their guests offered congratulations in a variety show format. “Some sang, some read poems they’d written, did parts from Our Town (the play where they’d met). I loved that,” she said.

“I tell clients to change it up a little bit,” Magoon continued. And they do. “One had a cereal bar. The groom loved to eat cereal. I see a ton of food trucks,” often for a late-night snack, offering tacos, pizza, even a potato bar.

While outdoor weddings in barns and vineyards are becoming almost common, even there she said clients can put a twist on things.

She pointed to one in the fall at Rocky Top Farms in Ellsworth. “The guests will all camp on-site.”

Whether it’s camping or a farm-to-table experience, hosted at the beach, a ski hill or winery, it is becoming more popular to look outside the box. Indeed, as the region’s reputation continues to grow, resorts like the Homestead and Crystal Mountain, vineyards and wineries, and the area’s beaches and forests are ever-more in demand for destination weddings. “Most (here) are from out of town,” acknowledged the Homestead’s Gotshall. “If you live in Detroit, this is a destination, one that’s highly sought after.”

Put a Ring on It Three made-in-Michigan stones for your made-in-Michigan love

By Kristi Kates

Ruby, emerald, sapphire, topaz.

Pretty much everyone knows what those are. But have you heard of Leland blue stone, Lakeshore diamonds, or Fordite?

Those are just three of the many Michigan-made “gems” making their way into inspired engagement rings and other high-end jewelry.

LELAND BLUE

Leland Blue is actually a product of the reactions that convert iron ore to iron. “It’s pretty much industrial waste,” Cris Telgard, owner of Tampico along with his wife, Kathy, said. “but, like beach glass, nature and time have transformed a waste product into something charming and attractive.”

Shortly after the Civil War, investors built an iron smelter in Leland. It was located where the Leland harbor is today.

The iron ore was shipped from the U.P. and smelted using charcoal made from the dense Leelanau County forests.

Needless to say, the investors were interested in the refined product which was shipped to Chicago, Cleveland, and Detroit

LAKESHORE DIAMOND

Unique to Miner’s North Jewelers in Traverse City is the Lakeshore Diamond, a diamond that the business has cut to maximize the diamond’s gleam and offer something unique to its diamond-buying clients.

“The Lakeshore Diamond has 90 facets, where the typical traditional round diamond has 58 facets,” said Brandon Adkins, Miner’s North sales floor manager.

(Facets are the angles cut into a diamond that reflect the light.)

leaving behind the waste product: slag.

The Leland & Lake Superior Iron Co. went out of business in 1886. But the legacy of that venture remains in the pieces of colorful slag rock still found on Leland’s sand beaches.

You can still find pieces along Lake Michigan. The smoother pieces have been tumbled by the waves and sand. Other pieces were found when the parking lot at the marina was resurfaced. These are more glass-like in appearance.The locals call it Leland Blue, though the colors range from pale blue to cobalt, gray to deep purple, turquoise, and green. It often has bits of iron, bubbles, cracks and other minerals mixed in with it.

“It’s meant to represent the reflections of the light on the water of our Great Lakes.

You know, that fast, quick twinkle you get when the sun’s rays reflect off of the waves.”

Available in a wide range of different carat weights and shapes, the “standard” Lakeshore Diamond is white, but the gem is also available in a blue diamond color. The diamonds themselves are responsibly sourced from all over, with the store’s primary diamond cutter hailing from Russia.

Lakeshore Diamonds start at small diamond stud earrings for $299; a single

one-third carat Lakeshore diamond starts at $1,000.

“We sell a ton of them,” said Adkins. “The reason being, if you look at it compared to a classically cut diamond, it really does have so much extra fire to it. And there are a lot of option as far as shape, size, and how you can get the diamond set.”

“The sky really is the limit,” he said.

FORDITE

“From around the late ’40s to the ’80s, people used sprayers to paint the cars,” he said. “After the ’80s, they changed the carpainting process. Most of the Fordite is from Ford River Rogue Complex in Dearborn.

The car paint would collect on the machines and spray lines as people worked, so the workers would often break chunks off after the paint dried and take them home in their lunchboxes.”

Most of the Fordite Gauthier currently has in his shop is from one of those personal collections; he sourced it from a basement in Grand Rapids.

While it may seem like an unusual thing

Kevin Gauthier, owner of Korner Gem in Traverse City, has been cutting stones for 41 years, founding his gem shop halfway through his cutting career. He said Fordite is actually one of the shops biggest sellers “That’s a stone that really gets a lot of interest,” he said, “but it’s not even technically a stone or a gem.”

Fordite — you might have guessed — is named after Ford cars, for a very intriguing reason. Gauthier explained that Fordite is essentially layers and layers of residual paint left over from the era of the car industry when cars were painted by hand.

Telgard cuts and polishes the best specimens. Then he and Kathy design each piece, sending them to their silver smith to be set into rings, earrings, and more — sometimes solo, and sometimes combined with beach glass, a Petoskey, stone, or pearl.

Jessica Lukomski, store manager said they’re often a favorite of brides looking for a special item for the “something blue” element of their wedding day, or meaningful gifts for their bridal party.

Small pieces start around $15; larger pieces can reach up to $200.

Get the Gem: Available at Tampico Imports, 112 N. Main St., Leland, (231) 256-7747 or facebook.com/tampicolelandmi

Get the Gem: Available exclusively at Miner’s North Jewelers, 222 E. Front St., Traverse City, (231) 946-8528 or minersnorth.com.

to choose as a “gemstone,” Fordite other unique qualities, in addition to its history, that make it a sought-after item.

“The brighter the colors, the more desirable the Fordite,” Gauthier said.

“There’s something called ‘Fordite’ that’s been coming in from Mexico, but that’s not the real thing, as it’s got metallic paint mixed in. Real Fordite doesn’t have metallics in it.

Strange thing is, Fordite is currently priced higher than raw silver. That’s how rare it is.”

Get the Gem: Available at Korner Gem, 13031 Fisherman Cove, Traverse City, (231) 9299175 or kornergem.com.

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 17

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he paper pouch of pastel mints or customized M&Ms is, well … a reliable standby in the wedding favor department. But if you’re looking to leave guests something a little more memorable by their plate, consider:

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What’s New, Now and Wow WEDDING TRENDS WE LOVE

By Kristi Kates Each year, with its subsequent wedding seasons, brings new moods, looks, ambiance, and trends in everything from dresses to décor, table settings to menu choices, gifts to getaways. Here are a few takes on what we’re seeing in local wedding trends for this year.

1. PATTERNS Don’t shy away from the unusual when it comes to selecting fabrics for your wedding.

While traditionally the eye might first go to plain fabrics, keeping to color alone, this year’s weddings are leaning far more on textures and patterns, including everything from herringbone and satins to polka dots, ikat, or miniature flower prints in the décor. “Fun textiles and patterns are a trend we really anticipate being big throughout the 2018 wedding season,” said Miranda Wruble of Sincerely, Ginger Weddings and Events (sincerelyginger.com). “Velvet linens specifically are extremely trendy right now, and they pair perfectly with the natural setting of northern Michigan!”

2. ACRYLIC After several years of “the rustic look,” replete with burlap, candles in mason jars, and lumberjack plaid, the wedding décor pendulum has swung once again, and we’re on to a brand new aesthetic. “We are definitely getting away from rustic,” said Kate Walski of 307 Events (307events.com). “The big thing is acrylic — we’re seeing everything acrylic, from welcome signs to table signs and place cards.”

The appeal of acrylic and lucite materials is that they’re completely translucent, so can

blend in beautifully with any color scheme, said Walski: “It’s such a nice, clean, clear look.”

Ideas: Surrounding anything acrylic with candles adds even more depth to a table setting (you can even get clear acrylic multi-taper candlesticks). Acrylic wedding invitations with frosted white lettering (try acrylify.com) make a truly modern statement.

And if you really want to go big, clear acrylic furniture is an option. “We’ve been looking at getting things like clear acrylic chairs for receptions,” Walski said. “There’s definitely a trend going on for those across the country.”

3. FOOD TRUCKS The food truck trend isn’t slowing down at all, and has in fact increased its presence at special events, from proms and all-night graduation parties to corporate gatherings and yes, weddings. Locally, you’ll find places like Pigs Eatin’ Ribs (pigseatinribs.com), Betty’s Hot Dish (facebook.com/dishbetty), and Planetary Coffee (planetarycoffee.com) ready to truck on over to your reception to offer unique and delicious service to your guests. If you’re feeling more formal for the sit-down dinner, you can still add in a food truck later in the evening as a special treat; places like Planetary can offer coffee and coffee desserts, so you get the novelty factor without having to ask people to stand in line for their main meal. Instead, you can have the truck on site, ready to offer up a fresh-made espresso beverage or sweet treat whenever the mood strikes one of your guests.

4. DARK TONES “2016 was all light, romantic golds and airy, misty photos; 2017 was a lot of greenery and white, a very ‘northern Michigan’ look;

and for 2018, we’re seeing a real return of color,” said Stacy Horn of Juniper and Lace Events (juniperandlaceevents.com).

Horn said the trend is showing itself primarily in dark, rich hues: from burgundy and dark peach to deep brownish-gold and navy. “It’s more of a jewel-tone palette, much deeper in tone,” she said. This color scheme, she added, also arrives alongside the complimentary trend in wedding photography; more saturated-looking photos with the focus being on bringing out those jewel-box colors, a distinctive Kodachrome look made modern.

“This photography is more sophisticated than what we’ve seen the past few years,” she said, “and creates some really interesting emotions in the photos as well as striking contrast.”

5. GREENERY Flowers will always be a wedding staple, but this year, according to Sheila DodsonWright of Tableau Events (tableauevents. com), there’s just something about greenery.

“We’re seeing a lot of natural greenery elements being added to luxury items,” Dodson-Wright said, “that beautiful juxtaposition of nature with glossier things like glass and metals really creates great transitional spaces at a wedding event.”

But don’t think that greens are solely limited to your centerpieces or floral arrangements (although they look great there, too). Dodson-Wright’s suggestions include draping them in big swaths around the edges of your reception tent; mixing hanging cafe lights with dangling vines; or artfully arranging long swags of greenery around the arms of a big hanging crystal chandelier. “We like using local foliage and then also adding in some natural wood — it’s all about the contrast,” said Dodson-Wright.

PRETTY CLEAN Want to offer something different to your guests that’s pretty and has a purpose? Give them a lake wave that they can take home with them: Lake Soap (lakesoap.com). Created

by Christy Vadeboncoeur, each bar is made in Traverse City and contains oils like olive, coconut, and avocado, plus additional skinfriendly ingredients like goat’s milk, kaolin clay and shea butter.

“Every bar is slightly different, because they’re all made by hand in small batches,” Vadeboncoeur said. The Lake Michigan Bar ($6.50 each) features a bottom layer that looks like sand and a top layer that represents a lake wave.

Bonus: If you want something extraspecial, you can ask Vadeboncoeur to customize the soap color to match your wedding party colors (Just make sure you order ahead, as it takes over 90 days for the soap to “cure” and be ready for use.)

SWEET TREATS Before Seafoam Candy Company (seafoamcandycompany.com) started making candy, they were wedding photographers; they know all too well which wedding favors are eagerly grabbed up, and which are left resting by the water glass. Seafoam’s unique candy, a sweet, light, melt-in-your-mouth treat made of caramelized sugar and organic molasses, is formed into small squares and dunked in chocolate. Best of all, it can be ordered in flavors like banana, butter rum, chai, cinnamon, root beer, and peppermint, with several pieces of the candy packaged up beautifully in tiny, festive craft paper boxes with custom tags. Each tiny box runs $2–3, depending on your level of customization. “That’s the basic level,” added Seafoam Candy Company’s Dan Carlson, who owns the company with his wife, Mary Carlson. “We can go even simpler or more elaborate than that if you’d like. We really work to customize the candies and presentation to your wedding and your budget.”

JOURNALING JOY Personalized wedding favors have long been a popular option — think matchbooks, mugs and candles. But Sheila Dodson-Wright of Tableau Events (tableauevents.com) likes to make the personalization more subtle for one particular favor item: “We are doing a lot of small, custom desk journals that we design and make ourselves,” she said. “We brand them especially for each client, and guests can either pick one up from a special table, or get it in a welcome bag. The twist is that we don’t usually put the bride and groom’s names or initials on the journals; instead, we include maybe an illustration of the location, or a quote about the lake, or the map coordinates, so that the journal makes more sense to use sitting out on a desk or in the kitchen on a long-term basis, but it’s still also a nice memory of the wedding.”

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 19

The Hit List Area DJS weigh in on the music that can make a wedding reception rock — or flop B-52’s

Neil Diamond

Bob Segar

Stevie Wonder

Soulja Boy

By Kristi Kates A good DJ is the lifeblood of any wedding reception. They serve as master of ceremonies, keep the spotlight on the bride and groom, encourage the timid to dance, and keep the dance floor jamming all night long. Because they’ve quite literally heard — and seen — it all, we tapped several area DJs for their insights on the good, the bad, the cheesy, and those that will. not. die. (Hint: If it flaps like a chicken and claps like a chicken … )

SCOTT PERRY OF 2BAYS DJS: 2baysdjs.com or (231) 715-6544

Best First Dance Song: “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran and Beyonce “I also really like ‘Feeling Good’ by Michael Buble; both give the couple a chance to really dance if they want, or if they’re more reserved, they can do that too.”

DJ’s Choice: “September” by Earth, Wind and Fire “It’s season-less, so you can use it for a wedding any time of year, and it really helps me get into the DJ zone.”

Wedding Party Favorite: “Can’t Stop the Feeling” by Justin Timberlake “That one’s an easy pick — it’s just a really, really fun song.”

Most Fun: “Mambo #5 (A Little Bit of…)” by Lou Bega “It’s from the late ’90s, a real surprise throwback that really keeps people on their toes.”

Most Underrated: “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate “We use that all the time as a bridal party entry song; people don’t think of it right away, but it really works.”

Most Unexpected Request: “Piano Man” by Billy Joel “I played that when an uncle came out at a reception wearing a full Billy Joel outfit, and he wanted to lip-sync it as a special thing for the bride.”

Most Overplayed: “Love Shack” by The B-52s “This. This is the song that I’m the most tired of.”

Please Just Don’t: “The Chicken Dance” “Just don’t even go there.”

PAUL WIDLUND OF NORTHERN MICHIGAN DJ

northernmichigandj.com or (231) 269-3636 Best First Dance Song: “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran and Beyonce “That’s the big one this year. It’s trending and very popular.”

DJ’s Choice: “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi “I actually really like the Latin sounds, and I also like to boogie. I just love to dance. And this song definitely boogies.”

Wedding Party Favorite: “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers “An old standard that always gets most everybody onto the dance floor.”

Most Fun: “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi “Seriously. That’s the fun one right now.”

Most Underrated: “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me” by Mel Carter “I hardly ever play it, but whenever I do, it totally works and gets everyone moving.”

Most Unexpected Request: “A Tisket, A Tasket” “It’s an old ’40s or ’50s song — I think the version I have is by Doris Day. Grandparents or great-grandparents request it, but today’s people don’t know it at all.”

Most Overplayed: “Love Shack” by The B-52s.

“I hate that song.”

Please Just Don’t: “Crank That” by Soulja Boy “It’s the worst song ever recorded, and you can quote me on that. It sounds like you’re getting your head cut off right next to road construction. It’s just all distorted and sounds like hell.”

20 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

SHAWN PETERSON OF DJS NORTH djsnorth.net or (231) 881-0324

Best First Dance Song: “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran “I hate to be cliché, but that’s just such a beautiful piece of music.”

DJ’s Choice: “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” by Stevie Wonder “Growing up in Detroit and coming from that area, I’m a huge Motown fanatic, so it’s gotta be Stevie for me.”

Wedding Party Favorite: “Uptown Funk” by Bruno Mars “The younger people love it, but it also has a lot of late ’70s influences with the horns and all, so those elements together make it a great multigenerational song.”

Most Fun: “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond “Everyone likes to get in a big circle and sing along to that one.”

Most Underrated: “Land of a Thousand Dances” by Wilson Pickett “It’s one of those songs where you don’t know that you know it until you hear it, and then you go crazy.”

Most Unexpected Request: “Humble” by Kendrick Lamar “It always throws me off when I get a request like this … from an older guest — people in their 60s or 70s requesting a contemporary rap song!”

Most Overplayed: “The Cupid Shuffle” by Cupid “It’s like a late 2000s group-participation song. And it’s just … yeah, no.”

Please Just Don’t: “Old Time Rock and Roll”

by Bob Seger “It’s so overplayed.”

THOMAS HEATH OF A+ EVENT ENTERTAINMENT

aplusentertains.com or (231) 622-2275 Best First Dance Song: “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran “It really strikes a chord lyrically with a lot of people. It references music, personal struggles, dancing, and growing old together.”

DJ’s Choice: “The Cupid Shuffle” by Cupid “I love so many different kinds of music, but I really do like this one a lot. I’ll even get out on the dance floor and teach the Cupid Shuffle dance to guests.”

Most Fun: “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond “It’s timeless, and gets people singing at the top of their lungs.”

Most Underrated: “Your Love” by The Outfield “It’s the song that starts, ‘Josie’s on a vacation far away … .’ It was played at a lot of Red Wings hockey games, so people know it, but they don’t realize they know it until they hear it again.”

Most Unexpected Request: “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood “That was a terrible request. I said, ‘You do realize you’re at a wedding, right?’ And the person requesting it said, ‘Oh, it’s fine.

They’ll think it’s funny.’ I didn’t play it.”

Most Overplayed: “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi “I was in the middle of playing it at a wedding, and someone came up and asked me if I could play it again. While it was still playing!”

Please Just Don’t: “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle “It’s really, really overplayed, because it’s one of the few tunes that counts as a ‘father-daughter’ dance, and it also starts with a weird recording of little kids playing in a playground, which makes it sound kinda creepy.”

1 STARTS MONDAY 1/29

Carolina BBQ Tacos

spicy smoked pork on warm corn tortillas with Carolina BBQ sauce, crunchy slaw, jalapeño relish, cilantro sour cream and jalapeño cheddar tortilla chips 16

Southwest Egg Rolls

with hickory-smoked pulled pork, black beans, sweet corn, roasted peppers, jack cheese and chipotle apricot dripping sauce 11

2

32

Hawaiian Hoagie

pulled pork, grilled pineapple salsa, housemade sweet chili sauce and fresh cilantro on a bakery roll with house fried pork rinds 15

Southern Smothered Chops

three Cajun fried pork cutlets topped with buttermilk gravy and served with braised greens and red beans & rice 18

423 S. Union, Traverse City • (231) 922-9515 • www.BlueTractorCookshop.com

4

DRINK 5

NATIVE.

NORTHERN SEEN 1. Ann Miller, Sherry Dodge, and Jerry Zeits were prize winners at the Traverse City Ticker’s Recess event held at at the 123 West Front speakeasy in Traverse City.

2. Chris Fechner (front/center) celebrated her 23rd anniversary working with Michigan Blood by hosting a blood drive at The Garden Theater in Frankfort. She was presented a Ruby Award for her years of service.

3. John and George looking smart at Recess in Traverse City.

4. Colleen, Julie, Anne, and Vikki out for a night on the town at Firefly in TC. 5. Emily Wilensky, co-owner and barista of Planetary Coffee (located in the State Street Marketplace in TC), prepares to whip up some delicious beverages.

distributed by

TRAVERSE CITY BORN RED 8 SILVER RUM steamdevilspirits.com

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 21

feb 10

saturday

WINTERFEST: Downtown Beulah. Featuring the IWPA Dog Weight Pulling competition, Poker Run, Frozen Turkey Bowling, Chili Cookoff, Frozen Fish Toss, Winterfest Parade, Outhouse Sprint & more. clcba.org

--------------------

CHOCOLATE COVERED BOYNE: Visit Boyne City merchants & celebrate chocolate. There will be chocolate goodies, food tastings, merchant specials & a dessert competition by local chefs today at 2pm, hosted by Wine Emporium. Free. boynechamber.com

--------------------

ARTS IN ACTION: 10am-noon, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Featuring local songwriter & performer Clint Weiner. Enjoy an informative presentation, followed by musical creation fun. greatlakeskids.org

--------------------

CROSS COUNTRY SKI: 10am-3pm, Rainbow of Hope Farm, Kingsley. Ski or snowshoe by the “Pirate Ship-in-the-woods,” Cougar Crossing, Black Bear Country & Big Buck Ridge. Lunch of spicy chili, chicken noodle or cream of broccoli soup, rolls/jam, dessert & coffee/juice for $7. rainbowofhopefarm.weebly.com

---------------------MAKE A GIFT SERIES: 10am-noon, Interlochen Public Library. Paint & Chocolate Party.

Learn how to paint on canvas. For adults. Free. tadl.org/interlochen

---------------------SPECIAL EVENT STORY TIME: 11am, Horizon Books, Cadillac. Valentine Celebration. Featuring games, take-home crafts & prizes for all ages. facebook.com/horizonbookscadillac

386-5001. February 9, 10, 16,17: Cocktails, 5:30pm; seating, 6pm. February 11, 18: Cocktails, 3:30pm; seating, 4pm. $60 per person.

---------------------BACK PORCH MUSIC SERIES: 6:30pm, Charlevoix Senior Center building. Featuring Athas, made up of Hannah Harris, Ruby John, Stephanie Cope & Katie O’Connor, who all share a love of Irish traditional music & other Celtic-influenced styles. Featuring soups & desserts & a circle jam following the performance.

231-622-2944. $10 donation suggested.

TOAST TO LITERACY MARDI GRAS PARTY: 7-10pm, Castle Farms, Charlevoix. Join Char-Em United Way for live music, entertainment, a silent auction, food competition & tastings from breweries & vineyards. Proceeds benefit Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, providing a free book each month to over 1,300 children ages 0 – 5 in Charlevoix & Emmet counties. Info: 231-487-1006, info@charemunitedway.org $35 door; $30 advance.

---------------------“ROMANCE GUARANTEED”: 7:30pm, OTP Studio Theatre @ the Depot, TC. A romantic comedy in the age of the Internet. $17. oldtownplayhouse.com

----------------------

TAYLOR 2 DANCE COMPANY: 7:30pm, Harbor Springs Performing Arts Center. Six professionals perform Paul Taylor’s American Modern Dance style, showcasing the athleticism, humor & range of emotions found in Mr. Taylor’s work. $10 students, $25 members, $35 non-members. crookedtree.org CHOCOLATE COVERED BOYNE W/ ALBERT LEE BAND: 8pm, Freshwater Art Gallery, Boyne City. British guitarist Albert Lee played for the Everly Brothers, Joe Cocker, The Rhythm Kings, Eric Clapton’s band & Emmylou Harris’ Hot Band. Presented by Freshwater Concerts. 231582-2588. $30.

YOU’RE WITH!: 11am-5pm, Leelanau Peninsula Wine Trail, TC. Enjoy an adventure of snow-covered vineyards & sweet bites paired with wine, a Snow Fun Photo Contest, & more. $40/person for both days. lpwines.com/events/ taste-the-passion

GOOD ON PAPER: 8-9:30pm, West Bay Beach Holiday Inn Resort, View, TC. Enjoy TC’s professional improv troupe. $10. facebook.com/ GoodOnPaperImprov

---------------------- ---------------------TASTE THE PASSION: LOVE THE WINE

---------------------7TH ANNUAL FANCY NANCY VALENTINE’S PARTY: 12:30-2:30pm, Kingsley Branch of the Traverse Area District Library, Kingsley. Featuring stories, games, a parade, 2017-18 National Cherry Festival Queen Ashley Schichtel & more. For ages 4-10. Must register: 231-263-5484. tadl.org

---------------------VALENTINE WORKSHOP: 12:30pm, Leland Township Library. This vintage-inspired valentinemaking workshop is presented by the Leelanau Historical Museum. Free. lelandlibrary.org

---------------------WONDERS OF NATURE IN WINTER: 2pm, Susan Creek Nature Preserve, Charlevoix. Presented by the Little Traverse Bay Conservancy & Charlevoix Public Library. Search for signs of animals, discuss how plants & animals survive the winter, & create an onsite land-art project.

Free. charlevoixlibrary.org

---------------------ROCK N JAM: 4:30pm, The Rock, Kingsley.

An open-mic session with a twist - anybody can play along on every tune. Free. Find on Facebook.

---------------------COOKBOOK DINNER SERIES: amical, TC. “II Viaggio di Vetri” by Marc Vetri. Sicilian born chef Marc Vetri puts together traditional comfort-food classics that reflect love of Italian food. amical. com/cookbookdinnerseries

---------------------“DON’T CRY FOR ME MARGARET MITCHELL” DINNER THEATRE: 5:30pm, Northport Community Arts Center. Call for tickets: 231-

send your dates to: events@traverseticker.com

----------------------

District Library, TC. Join members of the Traverse Symphony Orchestra & explore rhythm & instruments with hands-on fun. Featuring an instrument petting zoo, story reading, movement & crafts. For ages 5 & under. tadl.org/event/tsotots-tadl-strings

42ND ANNUAL NORTH AMERICAN VASA FESTIVAL OF RACES: 12:30pm, Timber Ridge Resort, TC. Featuring a series of freestyle ski races & fat bike races. For details & registration visit: vasa.org

10-18

MARDI GRAS DANCE: 5:30-8pm, Headlands International Dark Sky Park, Waterfront Event Center, Mackinaw City. With live music by the Jon Archambault Band. Enjoy night sky observing as well. $10. midarkskypark.org

---------------------- ---------------------TSO TOTS: STRINGS: 11am, Traverse Area

----------------------

february

----------------------

---------------------NATALIE MACMASTER & DONNELL LEAHY: 8pm, City Opera House, TC. This fiddling duo combines their Celtic heritage with contemporary music: “Visions from Cape Breton & Beyond.” $45.50, $30.50; students, $15. cityoperahouse.org/natalie-macmaster-donnell-leahy

feb 11

sunday

TASTE THE PASSION: LOVE THE WINE YOU’RE WITH!: (See Sat., Feb. 10, except today’s hours are 12-5pm.)

-------------

42ND ANNUAL NORTH AMERICAN VASA FESTIVAL OF RACES: (See Sat., Feb. 10)

---------------------4TH ANNUAL REX DOBSON RUBY ELLEN FARM VALENTINE SHOWSHOE & SKI TREK: 1pm, The Rex Dobson Ruby Ellen Farm, 5946 S. Center Hwy., Bingham Township, Leelanau County. Bring your own equipment. 231-5909304. Freewill donation.

---------------------LET EVERY VOICE BE HEARD, AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY: 1-3pm, Traverse Area District Library, TC. A celebration of African American history & culture, in song & story. tadl. org/event/aahm

----------------------

LOVE CHOCOLATE? MAKE CHOCOLATE: 1-3pm, Helena Township Community Center, Alden. Learn to make (& take) simple chocolates in time for Valentine’s Day with Steph “SweetTooth” Lockman. 231-331-4318.

----------------------

PEACE JAM: 1-4pm, Red Sky Stage, Petoskey. Includes Pam Luce & Caroline Barlow. Enjoy performing songs of peace. Free. redskystage.com

22 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

For those brave enough to face 10-degree temperatures & 30-mph gusts off Lake Michigan, join in the 8th Annual Betsie Bay Frozen 5K! This race on Sat., Feb. 17 begins at the Elberta scenic lookout at 10am. Bussing will be provided to the start line. Presented by Stormcloud Brewing Co. Proceeds benefit water initiatives, including the Benzie County Water Festival’s student scholarship. Advance registration, $20; day of, $25. facebook.com/BetsieBayFrozen5k

“ROMANCE GUARANTEED”: 2pm, OTP Studio Theatre @ the Depot, TC. A romantic comedy in the age of the Internet. $17. oldtownplayhouse.com

---------------------“DON’T CRY FOR ME MARGARET MITCHELL” DINNER THEATRE: 3:30pm, Northport Community Arts Center. Call for tickets: 231386-5001. February 9, 10, 16,17: Cocktails, 5:30pm; seating, 6pm. February 11, 18: Cocktails, 3:30pm; seating, 4pm. $60 per person.

----------------------

GREAT LAKES CHAMBER ORCHESTRA SUNDAY SERIES: 4-5:30pm, First Congregational Church, Charlevoix. Brass Quintet and the Drumheads. Free will donation. glcorchestra.org

VALENTINE’S DAY COUPLES IN HISTORY: Mills Community House, Benzonia Public Library.

10am or 7pm. HistoryTeller Maureen Esther will cover some of history’s “not so famous” couples.

231-882-4111. Free. benzonialibrary.org

----------------------

GET CRAFTY: Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Enjoy creating window hearts. Held at 11am & 2pm. greatlakeskids.org

---------------------CONNECTING WOMEN LUNCHEON: SOLD OUT: Noon, Michaywe Clubhouse, Gaylord.

Women from Otsego County will gather for a luncheon that will feature Dr. Mariana Perinot speaking about “Women’s Health and Stress Management.” 989-732-6333. $15 members; $20 non-members. gaylordchamber.com

------------------------------------------COOKBOOK DINNER SERIES: (See Sat., Feb. 10) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - HOSPICE OF MICHIGAN LOSS OF A SPOUSE: PETOSKEY IMPROV TROUPE: 7pm, Red Sky Stage, Petoskey. Live Comedy for Downtown Petoskey. Tickets: $10 advance; $15 night of.

Students, $8; 12 & under, $5. redskystage.com

feb 12

monday

TEEN VALENTINE CUPCAKE EVENT: 6:30pm, Peninsula Community Library, Old Mission Peninsula School, TC. Teens & pre-teens can create cupcakes for their valentine.

Bring a dozen unfrosted cupcakes & the library provides the décor. Pizza & pop provided also.

Call 231-223-7700 to RSVP. Free. peninsulacommunitylibrary.org

Noon, Hospice of Michigan Office, TC. A grief support group series focusing on those who have lost a spouse or partner. Held the second Tues. of every month. To register or for more info, call Kathryn Holl: 929.1557. Free. hom.org

----------------------

MONEY IN POLITICS: Noon, Unitarian Universalist Congregation, TC. Indivisible Grand Traverse is hosting Marian Kromkowski who will present a program on Money in Politics. Donations appreciated. This event is not sponsored by the UU Congregation.

---------------------ANIMAL TRACKS & SIGNS: 4pm, Petoskey District Library. Presented by Little Traverse Conservancy. Learn how to identify which animals are out & about in winter, & make an animal track cast to take home. Free. petoskeylibrary.org

---------------------- ---------------------DIABETES FRIENDLY, HEART HEALTHY COOKING: 7pm, McLaren Northern Michigan, John & Marnie Demmer Wellness Pavilion & Dialysis Center, Petoskey. Presented by the McLaren Northern Michigan Diabetes Support Group & Fustini’s Oils and Vinegar. Free. mclaren.org

feb 13

tuesday

COFFEE @ TEN, PETOSKEY: 10-11:30am, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Petoskey. Featuring 2018 Juried Photography Exhibit juror Bill Schwab. With a 30+ year career as a photographer & publisher, Bill founded & hosts the “Photostock Festival.” Free. crookedtree.org

PETOSKEY BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5-7pm, Buffalo Wild Wings, Petoskey. $7 members; $12 not-yet members.

----------------------

A VOLUNTEER’S PERSPECTIVE ON THE REFUGEE CRISIS: 6:30-8pm, Traverse Area District Library, McGuire Community Room, TC. Hear a first-hand account of life in a refugee camp on Lesvos, Greece. TC natives Talia & Zoe Gerstle share their insights from volunteering for three months.

---------------------CITIZENS’ CLIMATE LOBBY TC MEETING: 6:30-8:30pm, Central United Methodist Church, third floor, TC. If you’re new, come at 6pm for an introduction to CCL. citizensclimatelobby.org

---------------------DEBTORS ANONYMOUS MEETING: 6:30pm, Cowell Family Cancer Center, Rm. B-031, TC. Recovery meeting for those with money issues.

More info, call John: 973-476-7383. Free. debtorsanonymous.org

---------------------TRAVEL SERIES: 6:30-8pm, Charlevoix Public Library Community Room. Cuba with Annemarie Conway & Her Students. Free. charlevoixlibrary.org

---------------------THE USES OF ESSENTIAL OILS: 7pm, Glen Lake Library, Empire. Certified fitness trainer Sole Wright will share her knowledge of essential oils. glenlakelibrary.net

feb 14

wednesday

19TH ANNUAL DOCTORS WITH A HEART FREE DENTAL CLINIC: 8am-2pm, Deerhaven Family Dentistry, TC. Free same-day services for those unable to afford dental care will be provided on a first come, first serve basis. deerhavendentistry.com

---------------------POINT, ZOOM, CLICK: 11am, Upper level Carnegie, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Petoskey.

Learn the fundamentals of photography in this hands-on workshop. Free. crookedtree.org

---------------------PICNIC AT THE OPERA: Noon, City Opera House, TC. This live TV variety show runs every Weds. in Feb. Join hosts Miriam Pico & David Chown, along with Ben Whiting, TC West Choir, AuSable Dance Center, Dennis Palmer, Here:Say Storytelling’s Karen Stein, The Dance Center & Jenny Thomas. Experience behindthe-scenes action of camera booms, live audience shots, cue cards, set changes & more.

Free. traverseticker.com/news/picnic-at-theopera-announces-new-season-lineup

---------------------HOSPICE OF MICHIGAN LIVING ON: 1pm, Hospice of Michigan Office, Cadillac. This series of ongoing groups addresses topics as they arise, depending on the interests of those in attendance.

The focus of these groups is to express feelings & experiences related to the loss. Second Weds. of each month. To register or for more info, contact Will Gasper: 231.444.3350. Free. hom.org

ery 3rd Thurs. Classes are free to those grieving the loss of a loved one & to those for whom death & grief are part of their job. Bring a yoga mat & bottled water. RSVP: 947-6453 or goodgrief@ mymichaelsplace.net. mymichaelsplace.net

Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Let’s Paint!

Kids can help paint the big wall & windows in the Great Lakes Room. greatlakeskids.org

TECHNOLOGY WORKSHOP: THE CLOUD: 1:30pm, Leland Township Library. Join Director Mark Morton for a technology workshop covering the basics of using cloud-based software & storage. Free. lelandlibrary.org

----------------------

------------------------------------------LOCAL AUTHOR YVONNE STEPHENS: 2pm, Bellaire Public Library. Stephens presents her new poetry book “The Salt Before It Shakes.” bellairelibrary.org

---------------------VETERAN TAX PREPARATION/COMMUNITY RESOURCE HOUR: 3:30pm, Northwest MI Community Action Agency, TC. Veterans can schedule an appointment to file their taxes for FREE by calling 947-3780, prior to the day of this event.

Following the event will be a Veterans Resource Hour from 3:30-4:30pm. nmcaa.net

---------------------“MARDI GRAS - BENZIE STYLE” BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5-7pm, Grow Benzie Inc., Benzonia. $5/person.

---------------------DRINKS AND DIGITAL: 5-7pm, Mammoth Distillery, TC. Designed to bring together the local digital marketing community: website design & development, content writers & SEO’s, social media marketers, & many others. Free. lpmtest. clickfunnels.com/rsvp

---------------------WILDLIFE MANAGEMENT WORKSHOP: 5pm, Mancelona Township Hall. Learn how to improve wildlife habitat on your property. Hosted by Antrim Conservation District. The Michigan DNR Wildlife Biologist & Antrim County Forester discuss deer, turkey, grouse, woodcock, & rabbit management techniques, & the Hunting Access Program. RSVP: meghan.chase@macd.org Free. antrimcd.com

----------------------

----------------------

MARI VINEYARDS BOOK CLUB: 5:30pm, Mari Vineyards, TC. Read Between the Wines! will meet every 3rd Thurs. of the month. This month “The Immortalists” by Chloe Benjamin will be discussed. Free. Find on Facebook.

----------------------

NORTHLAND WEAVERS & FIBER ARTS GUILD MEETING: 5:30pm, TC Senior Center.

Members will show their latest creations & a demonstration on dying fiber using snow. Free.

ISEA CAFE: 1-3pm, Inland Seas Education Association, Suttons Bay. Watch “The Ottaway - A River Reborn” & discuss how it makes you think & how it may impact ISEA’s work. schoolship.org

HEALTHY WEIGHT LOSS TIPS & TOOLS: 2-3:30pm, MCHC, rooms A&B, TC. The Munson Community Health Library is hosting the program, “Learning for Longevity: Exercise & Heart Health,” with David Block, BS, ACSM, CCEP. Register: 935-9265. Free. munsonhealthcare.org

---------------------FUSTINI’S & L. MAWBY LOVE FOOD RESCUE: 4-7pm, Fustini’s, TC. Enjoy L. Mawby’s sparkling wines & Fustini’s hors d’oeurves prepared by Chef Sam Brickman of Fustini’s & Chef Loghan Call of Goodwill. Tickets ($15) & 20% of Fustini’s sales will benefit Food Rescue. goodwillnmi.org

---------------------GAYLORD BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5-7pm, Buffalo Wild Wings, Gaylord. 989-7051000. $5 for chamber members.

---------------------SEA SHANTY OPEN MUSIC SESSION: 7pm, Maritime Heritage Alliance, TC. Held the second Weds. of every month. maritimeheritagealliance.org/calendars

---------------------“ROMANCE GUARANTEED”: (See Sat., Feb. 10) ---------------------LIFETREE CAFÉ: 8pm, The Rock, Kingsley.

The film “In the News: Sexual Misconduct” will be shown, followed by a discussion. Free. Find on Facebook.

feb 15

thursday

INTERACTIVE STORY TIME: 11am, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Featuring “There was A Cold Lady Who Swallowed Some Snow” by Lucille Colandro. greatlakeskids.org

---------------------YOGA AT MICHAEL’S PLACE: Noon, Michael’s Place, 1212 Veterans Dr., TC. Held ev-

------------------------------------------INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS FORUM LECTURE: 6pm, Milliken Auditorium, Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. “U.S.-China Trade: The Economics Behind the Politics” presented by James Levinsohn, professor of economics, Yale University. Free admission for current students & educators; $15 others. 995-1700.

---------------------PETOSKEY WINTER CARNIVAL: Downtown Petoskey, Feb. 15-18. Today includes the Wine & Dine Progressive Dinner. petoskeydowntown. com/downtown-events/winter-carnival

---------------------ROCK THE SHOP! WITH VETERANS HOUSING USA: 6:30pm, The Workshop Brewing Co., TC. This fundraiser will feature live music

by Dags und Timmah!, Grove of Trees, Jon Archambault Band & Knee Deep, a silent auction & more. vethousing.org

----------------------

SWEETHEART DANCE: 6:30-8:30pm, Elk’s Lodge, TC. Presented by Arts for All of Northern MI. Dances are designed to be accessible for all abilities & needs. For ages 16+. $5. eventbrite.com

---------------------BEANS, GRAINS & BONE BROTH; A PRIMER TO BATCH COOKING: 7:30pm, Oryana Café, TC. Learn how to create your own ‘fast food’ by prepping for freezer & fridge, plus how to make vegetable stock & bone broth. Free. oryana. coop/cooking-basics-series

feb 16

friday

CHARLEVOIX WINTER INDOOR SIDEWALK SALES: 10am, Downtown Charlevoix.

Feb. 16-19.

-------------

DISCOVER WITH ME: 10am,

---------------------STORYTIME AT LELAND TOWNSHIP LIBRARY: 10:30am. For children ages 0-6 & their caregivers. Free. lelandlibrary.org PETOSKEY WINTER CARNIVAL: Downtown Petoskey, Feb. 15-18. Today includes the Chocoholic Frolic, Little Traverse Bay Humane Society - Rock Out for Rescue, Valentines Concert with Kelly Shively & Dan House, & Winter Ghost Walk. petoskeydowntown.com/ downtown-events/winter-carnival

---------------------“DON’T CRY FOR ME MARGARET MITCHELL” DINNER THEATRE: (See Sat., Feb. 10)

---------------------4TH ANNUAL CABIN FEVER ARTIST TALK SERIES: 5:30pm, Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. Featuring multi-media artist Julia Kline who will discuss her furniture. Free. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

---------------------“ROMANCE GUARANTEED”: (See Sat., Feb. 10) ---------------------“SO THIS IS LOVE!”: 7:30pm, Old Town Playhouse, Schmuckal Theatre, TC. This collection of short plays is presented by Aged to Perfection. They include “The Old Lady Shows Her Medals,” “The Way to the Castle,” “The Twelve Pound Look” & “Valentine’s Day.” Goodwill donation. oldtownplayhouse.com

---------------------JOSHUA DAVIS: 7:30-9pm, Old Art Building, Leland. This Valentine themed concert “Good Love Lasts” features songs of life & love. $20. oldartbuilding.com

feb 17

saturday

GLEN LAKE WINTERFEST 2018: Featuring a Perch Fishing Contest + Chili Cook-Off. All participants will bring their biggest catches from Big & Little Glen Lake to the Sportsman Shop at 1pm, & winners will then be crowned. Entry fee for this event is $20; $10 of entry fee = admission to the Chili Cook-off at noon at Boonedocks in Glen Arbor. visitglenarbor.com/event/2018-glen-lakewinter-fest-chili-cook-off

---------------------SELF-DEFENSE SEMINAR: 9am, The Rock, Kingsley. Girls 15 through college age must pre-register by calling 231-263-7000. Space is limited for this Zonta Club-sponsored class.

Free. Find on Facebook.

---------------------THE ADAMS CHAPTER TROUT UNLIMITED FLY TYING WORKSHOP: 9:30am-noon, Boardman River Nature Center, TC. An entrylevel activity with basic fly tying fun. Presented by the GT Conservation District. Reservation required: Call 989-528-0405 or e-mail: adamschaptertu@gmail.com Free.

---------------------WINTER GUIDED HIKE: 9:30am-noon, Boardman River Nature Center, TC. Learn about new & upcoming trail & restoration projects on the parkland. Presented by the GT Conservation District. Snowshoes are available to rent for $5 if needed. RSVP required. rratliff@ gtcd.org or 941.0960, x27. Free.

---------------------“LIVE MORE LEELANAU” FAMILY HEALTH & WELLNESS FAIR: 10am-1pm, Suttons Bay Gym, Montessori wing. Presented by Leelanau Montessori Forever Foundation. Focusing on communitydriven, health & wellness related businesses & organizations in the area, this event will feature kids activities, live demos, giveaways & more.

---------------------10TH ANNUAL 5K SNOWSHOE CHALLENGE: Keith Henning Memorial Race. Camp Petosega, Alanson. Registration runs from 8-9am. Race at 10am. 231-348-5479. $25.

---------------------8TH ANNUAL BETSIE BAY FROZEN 5K: 10am, starting at the Elberta scenic lookout.

Presented by Stormcloud Brewing Co. For those willing to face 10-degree temperatures & 30-mph gusts off Lake Michigan. Proceeds benefit water initiatives. Advance registration, $20; day of, $25. facebook.com/BetsieBayFrozen5k

CHARLEVOIX WINTER INDOOR SIDEWALK SALES: Downtown Charlevoix, Feb. 16-19.

---------------------WINTERLOCHEN: 10am, Interlochen Center for the Arts, Corson Auditorium. This outdoor festival features snow painting, a snow treasure hunt, folk, rock & children’s musical duo Trout Fishing in America, workshops, & more. Free. tickets.interlochen.org

---------------------6TH ANNUAL LOC SNOWSHOE STAMPEDE 5K: 10:30am, Leelanau Outdoor Center, Maple City. 5K or 1 mile Snowflake Race (12 & under). locprograms.org

---------------------PETOSKEY WINTER CARNIVAL: Downtown Petoskey, Feb. 15-18. Today includes the Ice Bar Celebration, snowshoeing, snowman building, Cardboard Sled Challenge, Bumpjumping Competition, Figure Skating Exhibition, live ice carving, & more. petoskeydowntown.com/ downtown-events/winter-carnival

---------------------VINE TO WINE SNOWSHOE TOUR: 10:30am4pm. Starts at Big Little Little Wines, TC. Enjoy a snowshoe adventure through the vines & trails between four wineries, where you will stop along the way for a chili & soup lunch. The hike is about 2.5 miles on rolling terrain. Make reservations. $45 per person or $60 w/ snowshoe rental. grandtraversebiketours.com/vine-to-wine-snowshoe-tour1.html.

---------------------3RD ANNUAL WINESHOEING EVENT: 11am, Maple Moon Sugarbush & Winery, Petoskey.

Enjoy a guided tour, wine before & after snowshoeing, chili, & a souvenir glass. Snowshoes are provided by Bearcub Outfitters. Guided snowshoeing departs at 11am, 1pm & 3pm.

Free tour of Maple Moon’s facility will be at 4pm. Reservations required: 231.487.9058. $20. mmsyrup.com/index.html

---------------------FIRE & ICE FESTIVAL: 11am-4pm, Pond Hill Farm, Harbor Springs. Featuring a bonfire, cross country ski dash, snowshoe dash, fat tire bike dash, cardboard sled challenge, snowman making contest, marshmallow roasting, frozen pumpkin bowling, & a snowman explosion. pondhill.com

---------------------AUTHOR SIGNING: 2-4pm, Horizon Books, TC. Yvonne Stephens will sign her book “The Salt Before It Shakes.” horizonbooks.com

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CHILI COOK-OFF: 2-5pm, Downtown Elk Rapids. Tickets: $4 early at Nifty Things or $5 day of. Find on Facebook.

---------------------MICHIGAN HOUSE WINTER SOCIAL: 3-11pm, The Little Fleet, TC. Held inside the heated tent with fire pits. Featuring Michigan Made music, food, beer & spirits. Tickets: $20 advance/$25; includes 2 beers or 1 winter cocktail. wintersocialtraversecity.com

---------------------“DON’T CRY FOR ME MARGARET MITCHELL” DINNER THEATRE: (See Sat., Feb. 10)

---------------------GT DEMS’ WINTER RALLY: 6-9pm, GT Resort & Spa, Acme. Includes special guest Debbie Stabenow, speakers Matt Morgan & Dan O’Neil, & live music by Miriam Pico. Suggested donation of $20 plus a donation to the TC High School Food Pantry.

---------------------FEBRUARY SUNSHINE CONCERT: 7pm, Red Sky Stage, Petoskey. Featuring Kevin Johnson, Eliza Thorp, Indigo Moon & Lara Fullford. Tickets: $10 advance; $15 door. Students, $8; 12 & under, $5. redskystage.com

---------------------SWEETHEART SWING BIG BAND DANCE: 7pm, The Otsego Club Convention Center, Gaylord. Free dance lessons at 6pm. Featuring the Up North Big Band. Presented by Gaylord Area Council for the Arts. $15 advance; $20 door. gacaevents.weebly.com

---------------------“ROMANCE GUARANTEED”: (See Sat., Feb. 10) ---------------------“SO THIS IS LOVE!”: (See Fri., Feb. 16) ---------------------HINDER: 8pm, Little River Casino Resort, Manistee. Enjoy these multi-platinum American rockers. $35-$50. lrcr.com

---------------------JOSHUA DAVIS HOUSE CONCERT: SOLD OUT: 8-10pm, 4320 E 46 Rd., Cadillac. Davis

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 23

released his most recent CD, “The Way Back Home,” in Sept. 2017. He was a Top 3 finalist on NBC’s “The Voice” (season 8). mynorthtickets.com

feb 18

sunday

CHARLEVOIX WINTER INDOOR SIDEWALK SALES: Downtown Charlevoix, Feb. 16-19.

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PETOSKEY WINTER CARNIVAL: Downtown Petoskey, Feb. 15-18. Today includes a scavenger hunt throughout downtown stores. petoskeydowntown.com/downtown-events/winter-carnival

art

“THE LYRICS OF BOB DYLAN”: Three Pines Studio, Cross Village. Nobel Laureate 2016.

This all media exhibition runs through March. threepinesstudio.com ANNUAL FURNITURE, FIBER, PHOTOGRAPHY, & SCULPTURE EXHIBITION: Runs through Feb. 16 at Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

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BLACK & WHITE WITH A LITTLE RED EXHIBIT: Runs through March 3 at Gaylord Area Council for the Arts, Gaylord. A reception will be held on Sat., Feb. 10 from 5-7pm. Hours: Tues.-Fri.: 11am-3pm; Sat.: 11am-1pm. gacaevents.weebly.com

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4

pm

-9

14.95 | all you

CHASING THE RUNNING STITCH: Charlevoix Circle of Arts. This exhibit runs through March 3. charlevoixcircle.com

9TH ANNUAL HAVE A HEART VALENTINE’S BENEFIT: 12-9pm, Emmet County Community Center, Petoskey. Live music by Pete Kehoe & Michelle Chenard, The Myk Rise Band, Northern Nights, James Greenway Band, Charlie’s Root Fusion & many others. $15/person; includes food. Benefits Brother Dan’s Food Pantry.

----------------------

----------------------

pm

$

14TH ANNUAL HARBOR SPRINGS AREA CHILI COOK-OFF: 12-3pm, Country Club of Boyne, Boyne Highlands Resort, Harbor Springs. $12 adults; 12 & under, free.

can eat

---------------------MACKINAW CITY BRIDAL SHOW: 12-3pm, Audie’s Restaurant, Mackinaw City.

---------------------DRAW NOMI: DRAW LIKE AN EGYPTIAN: 1-5pm, Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC. Dennos volunteers will work with you to illustrate a story using techniques the Ancient Egyptians used when telling a story. General admission. Free for members & NMC students. dennosmuseum.org

12oz $16.95 | 16oz $20.95 |

615 E. Front Street

DRINK & DRAW: Tuesdays, 7pm, The Workshop Brewing Co., TC. traversecityworkshop.com

“CAMERA EYE WITNESS”: Higher Art Gallery, TC. Runs Feb. 16 - March 17. A reception will be held on Fri., Feb. 16 from 6-8pm. An artist talk & discussion will be held on Sun., Feb. 18 from 2-3:30pm. Regular hours: Weds. - Sat.: 11am6pm; Sun.: 11am-4pm. higherartgallery.com

---------------------GRAND TRAVERSE ART BOMB: Runs through Apr. 7 at Right Brain Brewery, TC. This collaborative art show featuring talent from around northern MI gives artists an opportunity to showcase their talents with minimal cost. An Encore Reception will be held on Sat., Feb. 10, & a Closing Reception will be held on Sat., April 7. gt-artbomb.wixsite.com/2018

---------------------- ----------------------

4pm - 9pm

(231) 947-3700

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|

Traverse City, MI 49686

Now Accepting New Patients

“ROMANCE GUARANTEED”: 2pm, OTP Studio Theatre @ the Depot, TC. A romantic comedy in the age of the Internet. $17. oldtownplayhouse.com

----------------------

“SO THIS IS LOVE!”: (See Fri., Feb. 16, except today’s time is 2pm.)

---------------------PFLAG MANISTEE MEETING: 2pm, Holy Trinity Church, Manistee. A support group for families & friends of the lesbian, gay, bisexual & transgender community. 313-670-2613.

---------------------“DON’T CRY FOR ME MARGARET MITCHELL” DINNER THEATRE: (See Sun., Feb. 11)

ongoing

C3: CHARLEVOIX CREATIVES COLLABORATIVE WEEKLY BREAKFAST GATHERING: Fridays, 10:30am, Smoke on the Water Cafe, Charlevoix. Info: alexis @ 503.550.8889. Find on Facebook.

---------------------Specializing in:

Specializing in:

Medication Assisted Treatment for Opioid Addiction

Ayurvedic Medicine and Yoga Therapy

PRACTITIONERS: Jon Robertson, D.O. Beth Dharmini Robertson, Ayurvedic Practitioner, CIAYT, ERYT-500 Adam C. DeVaney, MSW Located in Beautiful Traverse City 1203 E. 8th St. Traverse City, Michigan 49686 Phone: 231-943-1515 M-F 10am-4pm www.traversebayintegrativemedicine.com and www.coldwaterhaven.com 24 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

C3: CHARLEVOIX CREATIVES COLLABORATIVE WRITE ALONG GROUP: Sundays, 2:304pm, Charlevoix Public Library, 2nd floor Trustees Rm. Info: alexis @ 503.550.8889.

---------------------COMPULSIVE EATERS ANONYMOUS: Thursdays, 5:30pm, 5th & Oak St., TC. Compulsive Eaters Anonymous-HOW is a fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength & hope are recovering from compulsive eating & food addiction. traversecityceahow.org

---------------------HORIZON BOOKS OF CADILLAC STORYTIME: Wednesdays, 4pm. Listen to a story & create a takehome craft. facebook.com/horizonbookscadillac

GLEN ARBOR ARTS CENTER: - MOLLY PHINNY: WORKS IN CLOTH 20152017: A small survey of fiber constructions by Leelanau County artist Molly Phinny. Runs through April 8. 231-334-6112.

- NEW GALLERY/NEW WORK: This exhibition showcases the work of 25 visual artists from Benzie, Grand Traverse, Leelanau & Manistee counties. “Talk About Art” will be held on Sun., Feb. 11 at 2pm with Beth Bynum, mixed media collage & assemblage artist, & Mary O’Neill, who works in PLART [fused recycled plastic]. Runs through Feb. 22. glenarborart.org

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DENNOS MUSEUM CENTER, NMC, TC: Mon. - Sat., 10am-5pm; Thurs., 10am-8pm; Sun., 1-5pm.: “VISITORS TO THE SEA: MASTERPIECES FROM THE DETROIT INSTITUTE OF ART”: These masterpieces feature human figures, a beach, the shore & the water. Runs through March 8.

- “LINES OF LIGHT: CRAIG TANDY - MONOFILAMENT SCULPTURE”: Runs through April 29 at Zimmerman Sculpture Court. Canadian artist Craig Tandy constructs complex sculptures with monofilament nylon that illustrate the properties of projected light, with an interest in creating a space through which the viewer can move.

TUTANKHAMUN: “WONDERFUL THINGS” FROM THE PHARAOH’S TOMB: Runs through May. 6. From the artisans of the Pharaonic Village in Egypt & the Metropolitan Museum of Art, this exhibit features about 100 replicas of the pharaoh’s possessions & artifacts from the period surrounding Tutankhamun’s reign. It reconstructs the discovery of the tomb by Howard Carter & the life of Pharaoh Tutankhamun. dennosmuseum.org

---------------------- ---------------------SUNDAY FAMILY FUN SKI: Sundays, 2-3:30pm, Grass River Natural Area, Bellaire. Rent cross country skis by donation & sign up for an instructor to guide you through the trails. Enjoy a fire & hot cocoa afterwards. 231-533-8576. grassriver.org

---------------------WINTER WALK WEDNESDAYS AT THE CLUBHOUSE: Wednesdays, 9am, TC. Enjoy a stroll on the Civic Center path. Free Higher Grounds coffee to follow. Presented by Norté.

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RANGER-LED SNOWSHOE HIKES: Saturdays & Sundays, 1pm, Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore, Empire. Meet at the Philip A. Hart Visitor Center. Reservations required: 231-3264700, ext. 5010. Free, but park entrance pass or annual pass required. nps.gov/slbe/index.htm

CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, PETOSKEY: CROOKED TREE PHOTOGRAPHIC SOCIETY EXHIBITION: Runs through March 24. Includes 90 photographs by local & regional photographers. Juried by photographer & founder of the annual Photostock Festival, Bill Schwab.

“HAND IN HAND: CRAFT AND NEW TECHNOLOGIES”: Runs through March 24. This exhibition explores the relationship between tradition & innovation when applied to diverse concepts, materials, methods & processes. crookedtree.org

---------------------CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, TC: PALATE TO PALETTE ART SHOW: A multimedia exhibition on cooking, food & drink. Runs through March 3. crookedtree.org

A NEW SHOT OF ROCK FROM THE VACCINES After three years with nary a release in sight, The Vaccines are returning with their much-anticipated fourth full-length album, Combat Sports, a collection of big, bold indie-rock tracks that alternate between brooding lo-tempo numbers and ecstatic rockers. The set, which opens with the impudent “Put It On a T-shirt,” also includes additional tunes “Surfing in the Sky,” “Maybe (Luck of the Draw),” “Out on the Street,” and “Your Love is My Favourite Band,” with most of the lyrics focusing on romantic love longed for, acquired, or lost. Combat Sports will hit all media outlets on March 30, and will be followed by a full U.K. tour starting in April, with additional live shows expected elsewhere in the world this summer …

Grand Rapids psychedelic rocker Shane Tripp (sounds like: Smashing Pumpkins/ Bush) has been working on his solo music, with his most recent effort being his new record, Brain Drip, on which he collaborates live with his backing band of Dan Fisher (guitar), Ben Weissenborn (drums), and Jonny Bruha (bass). Tripp recently shared a record-release party, also in Grand Rapids, with fellow GR band The Howlers, which released its own new album, Bone Dry. Following that, he’s planning a tour of the

MODERN

Dire Straits

ROCK

BY KRISTI KATES

Midwest and East Coast for later this year …

Panda Bear has just released a brand new EP, A Day with the Homies, with the first edition of the set available only on vinyl via Domino Records (digital and physical expected later). It’s the first effort from PB since 2015, and includes the tracks “Flight,” “Part of the Math,” “Shepard Tone,” “Nod to the Folks,” and “Sunset.” The artist said on Instagram that the album doesn’t necessarily stick to a particular theme but that “each song strengthens the messages of the others.” Check it out for yourself at adaywiththehomies.com …

The 2018 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees have been announced, with the induction ceremonies set to take place in Cleveland, Ohio, on April 14 of this year, with a broadcast of the event set to hit SiriusXM later in the spring. For 2018, the hall will welcome in The Moody Blues, The Cars, Nina Simone, Bon Jovi, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, and Dire Straits. Radiohead was nominated for the first time but didn’t make the cut this year …

LINK OF THE WEEK When Michigan musician Jim Spalink changed over to an electronic keyboard, he repurposed his old piano into an art project.

He put the piano outside and decided to

film it over the course of a year, making for a unique and visually striking video tableau.

Watch at tinyurl.com/ybo42w77…

THE BUZZ Detroit rapper Eminem’s new album, Revival, has spawned a second hit single — a collaboration with Ed Sheeran on “River” — and now the pair are set to film a music video for the track …

Here Come the Mummies will perform in concert on Feb. 15 at St. Andrews Hall in Detroit …

The Gin Blossoms will be at St. Andrews, too, with a much-anticipated retro ’90s show

A Whole New Life

on Feb. 18 …

Rhiannon Giddens will return to Michigan. She’s headed to the Royce Auditorium in Grand Rapids for its Acoustic Cafe Folk Series on May 17 …

The big Celebrating David Bowie concert is set to take place at the Royal Oak Music Theater on Feb. 19, with appearances from Bernard Fowler, Adrian Belew, Carmine Rojas, and more … and that’s the buzz for this week’s Modern Rock.

Comments, questions, rants, raves, suggestions on this column? Send ’em to Kristi at modernrocker@gmail.com.

DOWNTOWN

TRAVERSE CITY

Kyle Zemsta was so impressed by his wife’s weight loss results one year after surgery, he decided to have the procedure, too. Now they both have much more energy, stamina, and enjoy outdoor activities together.

“It’s been absolutely wonderful,” Katie said. “I’ve lost 120 pounds.

My health is excellent and my sleep apnea is gone. My new addiction is shopping. I can’t find anything I can’t fit into.”

- Katie Zemsta, 36 and Kyle Zemsta, 34

“Katie and Kyle have had great success. Doing all of the followup steps and having the full support of a spouse really helps achieve and maintain long-term good health. It’s been very rewarding to watch the Zemstas become healthy and active.”

- Steven E. Slikkers, MD Grand Traverse Surgery PC

Bariatric procedures are not for everyone. People qualify for weight loss surgery only if it is the best choice for their health and they demonstrate the required commitment, motivation, education, and medical history. Munson Medical Center’s nationally accredited program provides long-term support and thorough follow-up care.

To learn more, join us for a free, informational seminar.

Bariatric Surgery Seminars Tuesday, February 20 | 6 - 8 pm

SUN & MON 12:30 • 3:15 • 6 • 8:30 PM TUE & THU 12:30 • 3:15 • 6 • 8:45 PM WEDNESDAY 1 • 3:45 • 6:30 • 9:15 PM •••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••

SELMAPG-13

Traverse City: Munson Medical Center Conference Room 1-3, Lower Level

WED 10:30 AM - Black History, Black Voices - 25¢ Matinee

Via Video Conference at the following locations: Cadillac: Munson Healthcare Cadillac Hospital Charlevoix: Munson Healthcare Charlevoix Hospital Gaylord: Otsego Memorial Hospital Grayling: Munson Healthcare Grayling Hospital Manistee: Munson Healthcare Manistee Hospital

THOr: rAGNArOkPG-13

FRIDAY NIGHT FLICKS - $3 or 2 for $5 DOWNTOWN

IN CLINCH PARK

Tuesday, March 13 | 6 - 8 pm Traverse City: Munson Medical Center; also available via video conference in Cadillac, Charlevoix, Gaylord, Grayling, and Manistee

To learn more or to register for an upcoming seminar, call 800-533-5520, or visit munsonhealthcare.org/bariatrics.

SUNDAY & MONDAY 1 • 4 • 7 PM TUE & THU 12n • 3 • 6:15 • 9 PM WEDNESDAY 12n • 3 • 6 • 9 PM 231-947-4800

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 25

FOURSCORE by kristi kates

Fall Out Boy – M A N I A – Island

FEBRUARY 17

This set from Patrick Stump and crew charges out of the gate at full speed, pack dogs on their trail, and feet at full gallop. While this might lead you to think all that energy is leading to a primarily punk set, it surprisingly isn’t. Stacked on top of an indierock base is, yes, a little punk, but also tropicalia (“Hold Me Tight Or Don’t”) and reggae (“Sunshine Riptide,” with contributions from Burna Boy), electronica (“Young and Menace”) and synthpop (“Last of the Real Ones”).

Grand Traverse Distillery & 9 Bean Rows

FEBRUARY 24

Brengman Brothers Winery featuring Oysters & Crabcakes

Belle and Sebastian – How to Solve Our Human Problems Part 2 – Matador

The second of Belle and Sebastian’s trio of planned companion EPs has arrived (the third will surface late this month), with all three together building a full album’s worth of music. This one is a kind of vague, delicate sketched overview of the band’s current sound, festooned with jittery electronic beats and dark synths underpinning tracks like the lite-rock “We Were Beautiful” against the more sprightly “The Girl Doesn’t Get It.”

TICKETS: $20

see Facebook page for ticket purchasing information:

facebook.com/grandtraversedistillery/events

Maroon 5 – Red Pill Blues – Interscope

For all of Adam Levine’s sharp insights in his role as coach on The Voice, it’s surprising how much of that doesn’t often translate to his own band, which sometimes — like on this effort — doesn’t show off the best efforts of the talented bandmates. It’s not a bad album, per se. It simply seems too safe, thanks to tracks like the “Best 4 U” and the falsettotopped “Help Me Out.” Serban Ghene’s mixing buffs everything so much that Levine and crew’s personalities are lost in the sheen.

www.schulzortho.com

TRAVERSE CITY

231-929-3200 • 4952 Skyview Ct.

CHARLEVOIX

231-237-0955 • 106 E. Garfield Ave. 26 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

They Might Be Giants – I Like Fun – Idlewild

The quippy, quirky, often hilarious Brooklyn duo are back with their whip-smart pop as translated through producer Patrick Dillett (The National/David Byrne), and this collection is just as modern and rockin’ as previous album efforts, from the bubbly soul attack of “Lake Monsters” (with its sarcastically political subtext) to the power pop of “Let’s Get This Over With,” complete with hipster Hammond organ lines and more ooh-ahhs than you can shake a Supreme at.

The reel

by meg weichman

WINCHESTER hostiles

A

s a people and a culture, shouldn’t we be done with the Western? With the wisdom we have now, it seems in poor taste to continue to mine the stories and tropes of that era without coming up with something genuinely new or revealing to say about it. And Hostiles certainly does not meet that challenge. Set in New Mexico Territory in 1892, the story centers on U.S. Cavalry Captain Joseph Blocker (Christian Bale), a hardened veteran of the American Indian Wars on the eve of his retirement. Before he can leave the service, Blocker must complete one final mission; escort the terminally ill Cheyenne war chief Yellow Hawk (Wes Studi), and his family, to their ancestral home in Montana so that he may die in the rightful land of his people. Instead of allowing two deeply wounded characters to heal in ways that eschew what we can all see coming, we get a predictable arc of White Man Redemption as Block comes to reluctantly trust and eventually respect and revere his sworn enemy. And hitch that to a film that is just too long and drawn out (all the gorgeous vistas of the West don’t a compelling story make), and you get a moviegoing experience that you’ll instantly forget the moment you walk out of the theater.

There are few things worse than a bad horror movie. And I’m not talking about bad in the practical sense, where perhaps underwhelming special effects, terrible acting, and subpar production value dominate the viewing experience. In fact, often those things help to make a bad horror movie more enjoyable. What I’m talking about is bad as in boring and unremarkable.

If you’re going to make a cookie-cutter scary movie, then you better come correct with genuine frights, or at least something for us to laugh at.

Woe to the folks behind Winchester, for they brought neither to the table. So dull is this film that I’m left wondering if I even watched it at all. Maybe I’ve just cobbled it together in my mind from other films I’ve seen. Similar films.

Better films. Authentically spooky films.

And the most egregious, perhaps even unforgivable, aspect of the Winchester experience happens before the movie even starts. Prior to the opening credits hitting the screen, we’re treated to a friendly g’day from identical Australian twins Peter and Michael Spierig (who wrote and directed the film) wherein they thank us for seeing their movie. And while the two cheerfully expound on the thrill and honor of making a “haunted house story” for us to watch, we are shown behind-the-scenes clips of the movie we’re about to watch!

We see the actors filming scenes, being tossed about via wires and cables, and sitting in trailers having their makeup applied. Any hope of suspense or surprise vanishes with this weird preamble.

Why the brothers Spierig agreed to kneecap their film like this is anyone’s guess. Perhaps the studio, knowing they had a dud on their hands, thought a friendly intro would somehow soften the blow. Instead it feels like a vulnerable friend handing you their handwritten poetry while saying “you’re probably not going to like it,” and you know that a more universal truth has never been spoken.

Winchester is indeed a haunted house story, and what a house! It’s a maze-like Victorian behemoth with dozens of rooms that’s under construction 24 hours a day; Hallways lead to dead ends, staircases rise to meet ceilings, doors open to brick walls or out into thin air. The home belongs to the grieving Sarah Winchester (Helen Mirren — What are you doing, Helen?!), widow of American gun magnate William Winchester, and she has the entire Winchester Repeating Arms

fortune at her disposal to build her giant house. Naturally her mental state is being called into question by the board of trustees, and Doctor Eric Clarke (Zero Dark Thirty’s Jason Clarke) is dispatched to conduct an evaluation and presumably pronounce Mrs. Winchester as unfit to control the company.

Dr. Prince arrives at the house with baggage of his own. He’s grieving the loss of his wife and medicates himself with laudanum and drink. He’s greeted by Winchester’s niece Marion (Sarah Snook) and her son, Henry, a boy who suffers from both the occasional demonic possession and — horror of horrors — a Pete Rose haircut. During dinner that night Mrs. Winchester explains to the good doctor that she built her house the way she did: to contain the ghosts of people killed by her husband’s invention that are out for revenge against her.

And thus we are subsequently treated to run-of-the-mill ghastly visions that allow the film to fill its quota of jump scares to qualify as a horror film. These are the only kinds of scares you’ll get from Winchester: sudden images that pop into frame to remind you every now and then that this is supposed to be a horror movie. I would go further into explaining what the Dr. Prince and company are up against, but it could not matter less. You won’t find a more dull or inconsequential moviegoing experience than sitting through this film.

Sarah Winchester was a real person, and the eccentric house she built is still around. It’s now a tourist attraction — billed as one of the most haunted place in America — in San Jose, California. Ruled by grief and duped by spiritualists, the real Mrs. Winchester did indeed devote her life and fortune to building a monstrous home that she believed would keep her safe from harm.

Her story is infinitely more interesting and multi-faceted than anything this subpar movie puts forth. If Winchester had even attempted to plumb the depths of her life, of her grief, guilt, and paranoia, perhaps they could have come up with something truly interesting and worthy of your time.

But alas, we got this instead. And since this haunted house doesn’t have any of those handy signs you normally see nailed to the front gate, consider this your final warning: KEEP OUT, GO AWAY, and I’D TURN BACK IF I WERE YOU. Meg Weichman is a perma-intern at the Traverse City Film Festival and a trained film archivist.

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

T

here are a lot of things you can call Call Me By Your Name — evocative, beautiful, tender, intelligent, and so darn civilized — but it all comes down to this: It’s a must see, one of the very best film of this or any year. A coming-of-age story set in Northern Italy in 1983, Call me By Your Name follows teenage Elio (Timothée Chalamet), who spends the summer each year in his family’s villa with his Italian mother and American antiquities professor father (Michael Stuhlbarg). Each summer Elio’s father takes in a grad student to assist with research, and this year’s boarder is Oliver (Armie Hammer), who shows up with his unbelievably tanned skinned, elegant good looks, easy intelligence, and athletic build, and immediately charms everyone in the house. He is the perfect houseguest, but to Elio, Oliver is the “usurper” who puts him out of his bedroom. Yet try as Elio might to put up a front that he’s turned off by this impossibly confident American interloper, his confusion over his burgeoning attraction to Oliver comes through. Essentially, this is the sexual awakening story you think it is — not uncharted territory storywise — but what so sets Call Me By Your Name apart from similar forays is the atmosphere, the setting, the pace, and the feeling. You can feel the sun on your skin, taste the sweetness of the fruit, smell the orchard and the fervent pheromones. It’s an intoxicating experience that goes straight to your head and one so transcendently moving and bittersweet that you will carry it with you for a long time to come.

Paddington 2

“I

f you’re kind and polite, the world will be right.” That is the motto our beloved blue-toggle-coat-wearing, marmalade-loving, and impeccably mannered ursine hero lives by. And for the hour and 40 minutes you’re watching Paddington 2, those words not only seem true, they also pretty much sum up why this uber-delightful film is the movie we need right now. With a generous and playful spirit and a compassionate and open heart, the splendid sequel to 2014’s Paddington is a perfect family adventure. Featuring an incredible cast of great British actors, alluring animation that blends seamlessly into a live-action world, witty wordplay, and wonderful sight gags, this is warm, whimsical, and comforting entertainment that is never predictable. We pick back up with Paddington in his new Windsor Gardens home, where he now resides with his new adopted family, the Browns. Part caper, part mystery, part treasure hunt, and full-on treat, the crux of the story’s action stems from Paddington’s wish to get his Aunt Lucy, whom he left back home in Peru, the perfect birthday present. There’s a madcap chase, the greatest prison breakouts since The Grand Budapest Hotel, clever Chaplin-inspired slapstick comedy, tender moments, and plenty of derring-do.

This is truly all ages entertainment; it’s heartwarming and hilarious and just plain enjoyable for everyone.

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 27

nitelife

FEB 10- FEB 18 edited by jamie kauffold

Send Nitelife to: events@traverseticker.com

Grand Traverse & Kalkaska ACOUSTIC TAP ROOM, TC 2/10 -- Jennifer Thomas, 7-9 Tue -- Songwriters Open Mic, 7-9 2/16 -- Andre Villoch, 7-9 2/17 -- Corbin Manikas, 7-9 FANTASY'S, TC Mon. - Sat. -- Adult entertainment w/ DJ, 7-close GT RESORT & SPA, GRAND LOBBY BAR, ACME 2/10,2/17 -- Jim Hawley, 7-11 2/16 -- Levi Britton, 7-11 GAIJIN, TC Wed -- Karaoke , 8

MARI VINEYARDS, TASTING ROOM, TC 2/10 -- Blake Elliott, 3-5

Social w/ Onefreq, The NLR Experience, Major Murphy, Turbo Pup & DJ A/B, 3-11

PARK PLACE HOTEL, BEACON LOUNGE, TC Thurs,Fri,Sat — Tom Kaufmann, 8:30

THE PARLOR, TC 2/10 -- Matt Phend, 8-11 2/13 – Clint Weiner, 8-11 2/14 – Rob or Wink, 8-11 2/15 – Chris Smith, 8-11

RARE BIRD BREWPUB, TC 2/14 – May Erlewine, 8-10:30 SAIL INN BAR & GRILL, TC Thurs. & Sat. -- Phattrax DJs & Karaoke, 9

HAYLOFT INN, TC Thu -- Open mic night by Roundup Radio Show, 8

STREETERS, GROUND ZERO, TC 2/10 -- The SAC's 1st Annual Mardi Gras Masquerade Party w/ Redburn & Ricky T, 9 2/17 -- Northern MI Rocks w/ Oro, Hail Your Highness, 45 - 70, Graves Crossing & others, 12:3011:30 2/17 -- Northern Michigan Rocks, 1

HOTEL INDIGO, BAY BAR, TC 2/10 -- Nick and Jason, 7 2/16 -- Al Jankowski and Friends, 7 2/17 -- Zeke Clemons, 7

STUDIO ANATOMY, TC 2/10 -- Comedy Night featuring Carl Johnson, 9 2/17 -- Comedy Night w/ Jeff Horste, 9

KILKENNY'S, TC 2/9-10 -- One Hot Robot, 9:30 2/16-17 -- Broom Closet Boys, 9:30 Tue -- Levi Britton, 8 Wed -- The Pocket, 8 Sun -- Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 7-9

TAPROOT CIDER HOUSE, TC 2/14 -- Open Mic, 7-10 2/16 -- Rob Coonrod, 7-9 2/17 -- Blake Elliott, 7-9

GRAND TRAVERSE DISTILLERY, TC Fri -- Younce Guitar Duo, 7-9:30

LEFT FOOT CHARLEY, TC 2/12 -- Open Mic Night w/ Rob Coonrod, 6-9 LITTLE BOHEMIA, TC Tue -- TC Celtic, 7-9 MAMMOTH DISTILLING, TC 2/15 -- Billy Policastro, 6:30-9

THE ACOUSTIC TAP ROOM, TC Tue -- Themed Open Mic Night w/ Bruce, 7-9

THE LITTLE FLEET, TC 2/17 – Michigan House Winter

CELLAR 152, ELK RAPIDS Fri -- Live Music, 7:30 PEARL'S, ELK RAPIDS 2/11 -- The Nick Moss Band feat.

Dennis Gruening, 6-9 2/12 -- Masquerade Monday w/ Laith Al-Saadi, 6-9 2/13 -- Fat Tuesday w/ Lil Ed & The Blues Imperials, 6-9 RED MESA GRILL, BOYNE CITY 2/13 -- Carnivale Party w/ Dave Cisco, 6-10

SHORT'S BREWING CO., BELLAIRE 2/10 -- Honeysuckle, 8:30-11 2/11 -- Battle of the Bands Week One, 5:30-7:30 2/16 -- Charlie Millard Band, 8:30-11 2/17 -- Deep Greens & Blues, 8:30-11 2/18 -- Battle of the Bands Week Two, 5:30-7:30; The Pocket, 8-11

THE TORCH LAKE CAFÉ, CENTRAL LAKE 2/12 -- Bob Webb, 6:30 2/13 -- Leanna, 6:30 2/14 – Leanna, 6 2/15 -- Open Mic w/ Leanna, 8 2/16 -- The Mother Brothers, 9 2/17 -- Torch Lake Rock & Soul, 8:30

Leelanau & Benzie

THE WORKSHOP BREWING CO., TC 2/10 -- 3rd Annual Frozen Cherry Jam & Hot Licks - Semi-Finals, 8 2/12 -- Rotten Cherries Comedy Open Mic, 8 Wed -- The Workshop Live Jazz Jam, 6-10 2/15 -- Rock the Shop! w/ Veterans Housing USA feat. Dags und Timmah!, Grove of Trees, Jon Archambault Band & Knee Deep, 6:30 2/16 -- Lizzie Liberty, 8

DICK’S POUR HOUSE, LAKE LEELANAU Sat. — Karaoke, 10-2

PLATTE RIVER INN, HONOR Tue -- Open Mic Night, 7:30 Sat -- DJ/Karaoke, 8

LAKE ANN BREWING CO. 2/13 -- The Dune Brothers, 6:309:30

ST. AMBROSE CELLARS, BEULAH 2/10 -- Dede Alder, 6-9 2/15 -- Open Mic, 6 2/16 -- Barefoot, 6-9 2/17 -- Alex Mendenall, 6-9

UNION STREET STATION, TC 2/10 -- The Mainstays, 10 2/11,2/18 -- Karaoke, 10 2/12 -- Jukebox, 5 2/13 – Jukebox, 10 2/14 -- DJ Fasel, 10 2/15 -- 1000 Watt Prophets, 10 2/16 -- Happy Hour w/ Jazz North, then The Gasoline Gypsies, 5 2/17 -- The Gasoline Gypsies, 10

BIÉRE DE MAC BREW WORKS, MACKINAW CITY 2/16 -- Owen James Trio, 6:30

WEST BAY BEACH HOLIDAY INN RESORT, TC THE BISTRO: Mon -- Levi Britton, 5 2/13 -- David Chown, 5 2/14 -- Rhett Decoeur, 5 VIEW: 2/15 -- Jeff Haas Trio, 7-9:30 2/16 -- Fifth Gear, 7-9:30; DJ Shawny D, 10-2 2/17 -- DJ Motaz, 10

THE DISH CAFE, TC Tues, Sat -- Matt Smith, 5-7 Thu – Comedy Open Mic w/ Charlie Settles, 7:30-9 2/16 – Comedy w/ Marti Johnson, 7:30-9

Antrim & Charlevoix

LUMBERJACK'S BAR & GRILL, HONOR Fri & Sat -- Phattrax DJs & Karaoke, 9

STORMCLOUD BREWING CO., FRANKFORT 2/10 -- Blake Elliott, 8-10 2/16 -- Chris & Patrick, 8-10 2/17 -- Abigail Stauffer, 8-10 2/18 -- Storm the Mic - Hosted by Blake Elliott, 6-9 VILLA MARINE BAR, FRANKFORT Fri,Sat -- DJ & Dance Party, 9

Emmet & Cheboygan

CITY PARK GRILL, PETOSKEY 2/10 -- Mardi Gras Party & Parade w/ Galactic Sherpas, 10 2/12 -- Sean & Adam, 9 2/13 -- Sean Bielby, 9 2/16 -- Brian McCosky, 10 2/17 -- Reggae Fever w/ Selectors Ranking Gimp, Icky I & Ras Otto w/ A-1 Sounds, 10

KNOT JUST A BAR, BAY HARBOR Mon,Tues,Thurs — Live music LEO’S NEIGHBORHOOD TAVERN, PETOSKEY Thurs — Karaoke w/ DJ Micheal Williford, 10 Fri – TRANSMIT, Techno-Funk-Electro DJs, 10 Sun — DJ Johnnie Walker, 9

NORTHERN LIGHTS RECREATION, THE SASSY LOON, HARBOR SPRINGS 2/10 – 45-70, 8; Graves Crossing, 9:30 2/16 – Virrus, 9:30 2/17 – 3 Hearted, 9:30 ODAWA CASINO, PETOSKEY O ZONE: Sat -- Funny Business Comedy Show, 9

Otsego, Crawford & Central ALPINE TAVERN & EATERY, GAYLORD Fri,Sat -- Live Music, 6-9

SNOWBELT BREWING CO., GAYLORD Tue -- Open Jam Night, 6-9

TREETOPS RESORT, GAYLORD Hunter's Grille: Thurs. - Sat. -- Live music, 9

Manistee, Wexford & Missaukee LITTLE RIVER CASINO RESORT, MANISTEE 2/17 -- Hinder, 8

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28 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

Wedding Tents • Tables Chairs • Specialty Linen • China and Stemware • Dance Floors

the ADViCE GOddESS Dr. Strangerlove

Q

: I’m a 33-year-old woman. Though I don’t want a boyfriend right now, I have a strong sex drive and don’t want to go without sex. I’ve tried the hookup apps, but besides finding sleeping with strangers sexually unsatisfying, I’m always a little surprised at how emotionally empty I end up feeling. (It’s not like I want any of these guys to be a boyfriend.)

— Hungry

A

: It’s possible for a woman to have an orgasm from hookup sex — just as it’s possible to spot a white rhino grazing on a roadway median in suburban Detroit.

The reality is, hookups tend to work best if you are a man or a trailer. Research by sociologist Elizabeth A. Armstrong and her colleagues finds that for women, hookup sex is particularly problematic in the orgasm-dispensing department. In first-time hookups, women they surveyed reported orgasms only 11 percent of the time — compared with 67 percent of the time from sex in a relationship. However, the more times a woman had slept with her current hookup partner the more likely she was to finish with screams of ecstasy -- and not the ones that stand in for “You ‘bout done yet?”

As for why you feel crappy after your latest Captain Hookup shinnies down the drainpipe, I’ve written before about how female emotions seem to have evolved to act as an alarm system against deficient male “investment.” They push women to crave emotional connection after sex — even when they went into it wanting nothing more than a little sexercise with some himbo.

Pop the hood on the brain and you’ll see support for this notion. An analysis of findings from 24 brain imaging studies led psychiatrist Timm Poeppl and his colleagues to conclude that “sexual stimulation seems to activate key regions for emotional attachment and pair bonding more consistently in women than in men.”

So, it isn’t exactly bizarre that you, as a woman, find hooking up with a stranger about as emotionally and sexually satisfying as a fist bump. This doesn’t mean you have to rush a boyfriend into your life to have sex. You can eliminate some of the problems of hookup sex by finding a regular sex-quaintance -- ideally, a guy friend who’s sweet and attractive but who falls steeply short of the qualifications you have for a romantic partner. (That way, you’ll be less likely to let any “activated” brain regions vault you into a relationship.)

This is somebody you can gradually show around your body and train in the magic trick it takes for you to have an orgasm — as opposed to some single-serving Romeo who approaches your body like a burglar in a pitch-black china shop.

And, finally, having at least friendly affection for somebody you sleep with should mean that sex leaves you feeling, if not loved, well, less like a rental car somebody just dropped off. “Note to person checking in this vehicle: Makes weird noises when cornering.”

“Jonesin” Crosswords

Champagne And Suffering

Q

: I’m a 30-year-old gay guy. I was laid off, and I’m freelancing crazy hours to try to pay my rent and bills. My best friend’s birthday was this past weekend, and I did what I could timewise (and put a modest gift on my credit card), but he’s totally bent out of shape because he feels like I neglected him. He equates the attention you pay to his birthday with how much you care, which is so ridiculous.

— Feeling Bad

A

: What kind of friend are you that you couldn’t, say, sell a kidney on the black market and buy the guy a proper gift?

Yes, it seems you prioritized frivolities such as paying rent and keeping the lights on without needing to rig a treadmill for your dog to chase a piece of bacon on a string. Of course, putting your financial survival first doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend. The, uh, brat of honor probably just sees it that way because of what psychologists call “attribution bias.”

This describes how we tend to be charitable in explaining our own errors and failings — excusing them as situational (the result of something that’s happened to us) — while attributing others’ to the sort of people they are (compassionless, birthday-hating monsters).

Have a sit-down with your friend and explain that you care deeply about him. (Review your history of showing this.) Emphasize that it was a lack of time and funding, not a lack of feeling, that kept you from, say, renting a sufficiently mansionesque bouncy house or hiring David Blaine to make balloon animals on his special day. Apply compassion. Recognize that there’s probably some woundyplace in him that makes him this way, basically expecting his birthday to be treated like some major national holiday. Okay, maybe the guy’s first name is Martin. Chances are, the two that follow aren’t “Luther” and “King.”

"Running Free"--it's freestyle, sobeit. by Matt Jones

ACROSS 1 Big meals 8 Abrasive stones 15 Restricted, one way 16 Amount of a minor shock 17 Frazzle 18 Thorny problem 19 Glance of contempt 20 Oprah’s longtime partner Graham 21 They hold onto everything 23 Barnyard noise 24 Give permission 28 Reason for news to interrupt regular programming 36 Roam (about) 37 “Le Misanthrope” playwright 38 Assessment that may determine how well you work with others 40 In a way 41 “411” 43 Fuel-efficient vehicle 50 Tiny organism 54 Lovingly, in music 55 Freeloaders 56 Fallen for 57 First name on Mount Rushmore 58 “Gimme,” in more words 59 Tooth component 60 Egg containers

DOWN 1 Early Baseball Hall-of-Famer Edd 2 Film composer Morricone 3 “Bear” that’s not a bear 4 Like ___ in the headlights 5 Fathered

6 “Fiddler on the Roof” protagonist 7 Completely avoid, with “of” 8 Detergent containers that I shouldn’t have to tell you never to eat 9 Fathom, e.g.

10 “___ Kalikimaka” (Bing Crosby holiday song) 11 Exclamation akin to “Eureka!”

12 Council 13 Jazz trumpeter Ziggy 14 Played terribly 22 Sound of lament 25 Relating to coins or currency 26 Mail delivery site?

27 ___ May Clampett (“Beverly Hillbillies” daughter) 28 Oil additive letters 29 Early start?

30 Food involved in “typewriter eating,” according to tvtropes.org 31 Caption seen early in an alphabet book, maybe 32 NASDAQ newcomers 33 “It comes ___ surprise ...”

34 E-file agency 35 Badminton divider 39 Some capts.-to-be 41 “Grrr!”

42 Mythological weeper 44 Kitchen appliance brand 45 TV weatherman Al 46 Armour’s Spam rival 47 Apartment that’s owned 48 “Lord of the Rings” actor Sean 49 “The Tonight Show” house band, with “The” 51 “Fancy meeting you here!”

52 Rowan Atkinson’s “Mr.” character 53 J.D. Salinger title character

Northern Express Weekly • february 12, 2018 • 29

Weddings | Receptions Rehearsal Dinners

aSTRO

lOGY

came up with a list of fashionable new names for parents who want to ensure their babies get a swanky start in life. Since you Aquarians are in a phase when you can generate good fortune by rebranding yourself or remaking your image, I figure you might be interested in using one of these monikers as a nickname or alias.

At the very least, hearing them could whet your imagination to come up with your own ideas. Here are Tatler’s chic avant-garde names for girls: Czar-Czar; Debonaire; Estonia; Figgy; Gethsemane; Power; Queenie. Here are some boys’ names: Barclay; Euripides; Gustav; Innsbruck; Ra; Uxorious; Wigbert; Zebedee.

PIScES (Feb. 19-March 20): Now that you

ARIES (March 21-April 19): At 12,388 feet,

Mount Fuji is Japan’s highest peak. If you’re in good shape, you can reach the top in seven hours. The return trip can be done in half the time -- if you’re cautious. The loose rocks on the steep trail are more likely to knock you off your feet on the way down than on the way up. I suspect this is an apt metaphor for you in the coming weeks, Aries. Your necessary descent may be deceptively challenging. So make haste slowly! Your power animals are the rabbit and the snail.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): ): In 1903,

Orville and Wilbur Wright made a few short jaunts through the air in a flying machine they called the Flyer. It was a germinal step in a process that ultimately led to your ability to travel 600 miles per hour while sitting in a chair 30,000 feet above the earth. Less than 66 years after the Wright Brothers’ breakthrough, American astronauts landed a space capsule on the moon. They had with them a patch of fabric from the left wing of the Flyer. I expect that during the coming weeks, you will be climaxing a long-running process that deserves a comparable ritual. Revisit the early stages of the work that enabled you to be where you are now.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 2006, five

percent of the world’s astronomers gathered at an international conference and voted to demote Pluto from a planet to a “dwarf planet.” Much of the world agreed to honor their declaration.

Since then, though, there has arisen a campaign by equally authoritative astronomers to restore Pluto to full planet status.

The crux of the issue is this: How shall we define the nature of a planet? But for the people of New Mexico, the question has been resolved. State legislators there formally voted to regard Pluto as a planet. They didn’t accept the demotion. I encourage you to be inspired by their example, Gemini. Whenever there are good arguments from opposing sides about important matters, trust your gut feelings. Stand up for your preferred version of the story.

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30 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

BY ROB BREZSNY

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The posh magazine Tatler

have finally paid off one of your debts to the past, you can start window-shopping for the future’s best offers. The coming days will be a transition time as you vacate the power spot you’ve outgrown and ramble out to reconnoiter potential new power spots. So bid your crisp farewells to waning traditions, lost causes, ghostly temptations, and the deadweight of people’s expectations. Then start preparing a vigorous first impression to present to promising allies out there in the frontier.

COMMUNITY FEATURES

FEB 12- FEB 18

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Ray Bradbury’s

dystopian bestseller Fahrenheit 451 was among the most successful of the 27 novels he wrote.

It won numerous awards and has been adopted into films, plays, and graphic novels. Bradbury wrote the original version of the story in nine days, using a typewriter he rented for 20 cents per hour. When his publisher urged him to double the manuscript’s length, he spent another nine days doing so. According to my reading of the planetary configurations, you Cancerians now have a similar potential to be surprisingly efficient and economical as you work on an interesting creation or breakthrough -- especially if you mix a lot of play and delight into your labors.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Poet Louise Glück has

characterized herself as “afflicted with longing yet incapable of forming durable attachments.”

If there is anything in you that even partially fits that description, I have good news: In the coming weeks, you’re likely to feel blessed by longing rather than

afflicted by it. The foreseeable future will also be prime time for you to increase your motivation and capacity to form durable attachments. Take full advantage of this fertile grace period!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 2004, a man

named Jerry Lynn tied a battery-operated alarm clock to a string and dangled it down a vent in his house. He was hoping that when the alarm sounded, he would get a sense of the best place to drill a hole in his wall to run a wire for his TV. But the knot he’d made wasn’t perfect, and the clock slipped off and plunged into an inaccessible spot behind the wall.

Then, every night for 13 years, the alarm rang for a minute.

The battery was unusually strong! A few months ago, Lynn decided to end the mild but constant irritation. Calling on the help of duct specialists, he retrieved the persistent clock.

With this story as your inspiration, and in accordance with astrological omens, I urge you Virgos to finally put an end to your equivalent of the maddening alarm clock. (Read the story: tinyurl.com/alarmclockmadness.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Was Napoléon

Bonaparte an oppressor or liberator? The answer is both. His work in the world hurt a lot of people and helped a lot of people. One of his more magnanimous escapades transpired in June 1798, when he and his naval forces invaded the island of Malta. During his six-day stay, he released political prisoners, abolished slavery, granted religious freedom to Jews, opened 15 schools, established the right to free speech, and shut down the Inquisition. What do his heroics have to do with you? I don’t want to exaggerate, but I expect that you, too, now have the power to unleash a blizzard of benevolence in your sphere. Do it in your own style, of course, not Napoléon’s.

ScORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Trees that are slow

to grow bear the best fruit,” said French playwright Molière. I’m going to make that your motto for now, Scorpio. You have pursued a gradual, steady approach to ripening, and soon it will pay off in the form of big bright blooms. Congratulations on having the faith to keep plugging away in the dark! I applaud your determination to be dogged and persistent about following your intuition even though few people have appreciated what you were doing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The

growth you can and should foster in the coming weeks will be stimulated by quirky and unexpected prods. To get you started, here are a few such prods. 1. What’s your hidden or dormant talent, and what could you do to awaken and mobilize it? 2. What’s something you’re afraid of but might be able to turn into a resource? 3. If you were a different gender for a week, what would you do and what would your life be like? 4. Visualize a dream you’d like to have while you’re asleep tonight. 5. If you could transform anything about yourself, what would it be? 6. Imagine you’ve won a free vacation to anywhere you want. Where would you go?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You may

think you have uncovered the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. But according to my analysis of the astrological omens, you’re just a bit more than halfway there. In order to get the rest of the goods, you’ll have to ignore your itch to be done with the search. You’ll have to be unattached to being right and smart and authoritative. So please cultivate patience. Be expansive and magnanimous as you dig deeper. For best results, align yourself with poet Richard Siken’s definition: “The truth is complicated. It’s two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet.”

NORTHERN EXPRESS

CLASSIFIEDS EMPLOYMENT CAREER OPPORTUNITY United Association Local 85 Plumbers, Steamfitters & HVAC/R Technicians, an Equal-Opportunity Employer, is currently accepting applications for their Apprenticeship Programs. The Application can be found at www.ualocal85.org or at the UA Local 85 Training Center, 6705 Weiss St., Saginaw, MI 48603. Application deadline is March 1, 2018. *** SEEKING PART-TIME PROJECT MANAGER *** *** Flexible Hours *** Start ASAP 10-15hrs wkly* Support project helping children & youth wage peace through local & international service projects. 6 clubs in middle & high schools. $13-$17pr hr to June http:// YoungPeacebuilders.com/TC NOW HIRING PART-TIME RESERVATIONIST Seeking a friendly, multi-tasker for reservations at our busy vacation rental office.

Requirements-computer skills,able to work with a team,and customer-service oriented.Sales experience a plus! Part-time position (possibility of full-time),some weekends required.Fill out an application at Visit Up North, 548 E. Front St., Traverse City.(231)922-8922 NMC IS HIRING NMC is seeking a Senior Training Specialist- Manufacturing and Computer Information Technology Instructor.

Apply at http://www.nmc.edu/jobs. NonDiscrimination Policy Notice Northwestern Michigan College is committed to a policy of equal opportunity for all persons & does not unlawfully discriminate on the basis of race,

color, national origin, religion, disability, genetic information, height, weight, marital status or veteran status in employment, educational programs & activities & admissions. nmc.edu/nondiscrimination

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Valentine ’s Dinner Wednesday, February 14 5pm-9pm FOUR COURSE MENU - $75 per person Reservations Recommended Call 231.344.4420

32 • february 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly