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Here Comes the Bride

Our Annual Event & Wedding Planning Guide

NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • april 05 - april 11, 2021 • Vol. 31 No. 14

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letters Benefits to Boosting Minimum Wage The American Rescue Plan is now in effect, saving millions of Americans from hunger and homelessness, but we still need a higher minimum wage. Many of the ARP provisions are temporary and meant to last only a few months. A higher minimum wage would build a more lasting prosperous economy.

The minimum wage is no longer just a benefit for teenagers living with parents and looking for a little spending money. The average age of a minimum-wage worker today is in the mid-30s; 90 percent are over 20, 54 percent work full-time, and 28 percent have children. The minimum wage today buys less than half of what it could pay for 30 years ago.

Unlike tax cuts for the wealthy, a substantial rise in the minimum wage would help the real economy of production and consumption, as opposed to investments in the stock market.

It would make millions of working people less dependent on tax-supported benefits like food or housing assistance. Every extra dollar earned would add a few cents to the payroll tax supporting the Social Security Trust Fund, a fund estimated to face possible default by the mid-2030s.

A higher minimum wage would raise incomes for those now making slightly more by pushing employers to add increases higher up the pay scale. It would even help the stereotypical teenager by making a college education slightly more affordable.

Of course, the best reason for raising the minimum wage is that no one who works full-time should live in poverty. Raising the minimum wage is popular with a majority of Americans, including many Republicans.

Our elected representatives in Congress should be paying attention.

Alice L., Omena Research & Analyze First I am writing in praise of critical thinking.

I’m paying homage to those teachers who schooled me in not accepting assertions at face value but to seek the sources of those assertions. Homage to those who said, “Just because an idea is tenacious does not mean it is worthy.”

Far too much blather flies around these days and muddies our ability to think clearly about what’s happening, what needs to be done, and what makes a better world for all our citizens. Clearing those waters means seeking the hard answers to increasingly complex questions, and knowing that the short answers are often not the best. Mainstream media may be good at informing us of issues but seems often to fail to explore the causes of the issues and what may be complex solutions. It is honest questioning that identifies real causes and can propose real answers.

I sometimes divide letter writers between those who watch and those who read. Regardless of political leanings, being sure of your position and your statements should be the result of patient research and analysis. Then the discussion of what to do about it, whatever it is, can begin.

Whitney R., Greilickville Save the Wolves (Again) In November 2014, Michigan voters rejected two referendums on state laws

authorizing wolf hunting in the Upper Peninsula. Activists collected 250,000 signatures to get it on the ballot — and voters spoke at the ballot box.

Despite this win for wolves and their advocates, a law authored by former Sen. Casperson – Escanaba, passed by the legislature, negated the will of Michigan voters. This law gives power in such matters to the unelected, politically appointed Natural Resources Commission.

Fast forward to February 2021. Upper Peninsula Republican Sens. Ed McBroom and Jon Bumstead introduced S.R.15, which urges the NRC to authorize (and the Department of Natural Resources to organize) wolf hunting and trapping as part of Michigan’s wolf management efforts beginning in 2021.

Again, Republican senators ignore Michigan voters and continue the persecution of an animal that is vital to the health of our environment.

Maybe wolf animosity is due to these beliefs: 1. Wolves threaten human safety. On rare occasions, when this does occur, the animal should be dealt with swiftly.

2. Wolves kill livestock. Between 2001 and 2010, wolves killed 11 head of cattle. Less than 10 percent of the wolf population was involved in these livestock losses. Livestock losses should be compensated financially. A law allowing the killing of wolves that attempt to kill or injure pets or livestock (S.R. 15) is not a sound approach to deal with this problem.

3. Wolves kill deer. A quarter-million deer live in the U.P. Wolves kill approximately 23,000 deer there yearly. Hunters kill more than twice that in a typical hunting season.

We also kill about 10,000 annually, with automobiles. A typical winter sees many deer die of malnutrition. Our lives are enriched by deer hunting, but a wolf ’s life depends on it. Because wolves eat deer is not a reason to hunt wolves.

Ask your senator, representative, and Gov. Whitmer to vote “no” on S.R. 15.

Micheal C., Afton, Michigan Sexless Spud a Dud The outrage expressed about Hasbro’s decision to allow children to choose their Potato Head toy’s gender or non-gender makes me wonder if there are enough rational people left in our country to sustain a democratic system that requires an informed electorate.

Yes, there are people who don’t identify with either gender, and Hasbro knows that such people represent a marketing opportunity.

So the company’s decision was based on the conservative principles of free-market capitalism, not on any attempt by the “libs” to promote gender neutrality. Besides, what potato do you know that has a gender anyway?

John L., Petoskey Do Your Job, Antrim Deps Antrim Sheriff ’s Office Review: 1 out of 5 stars. As someone born and raised in Antrim County, I know the great sheriff ’s deputies are swamped with dangerous activities such as chasing turkeys out of intersections and walking in Fourth of July parades. So it’s no wonder that they couldn’t

enforce the mask mandate at Mancelona’s March school board meeting; we wouldn’t want “trivial lawsuits” getting in the way of protecting and serving the good people of Antrim county.

I’m sure all the people at the school board meeting felt very safe when individuals entered the school maskless and holding various flags and signs not unlike the ones used as weapons in the recent attack on our nation’s capitol. These people stood shoulder to shoulder with your hard-working sheriff ’s deputies, probably exchanging fist bumps with their poker buddies. Maybe y’all should take the diversity training because this reeks of white privilege to me. Antrim county might as well have elected Triston Cole because he would have been just as effective at doing nothing as you were.

Megan B., Antrim County Cause of Death As I scrutinized several documents produced by the Hennepin County Medical Examiner’s Office and the charging document filed by the Prosecution. I discovered three critically important facts censored by Bob R. of Pellston in his recent letter.

1) A fatal 11 ng/ml level of Fentanyl was in George Floyds system.

2) No physical findings supported a diagnosis of traumatic asphyxia or strangulation.

3) George Floyd died of cardiopulmonary arrest.

These salient facts will determine officer Chauvin’s innocence or degree of guilt. Facts. Hopefully none of the egregious ethical failings that permeated “Cause of Death” will taint the deliberation process of the Chauvin jury.

Steve R., Petoskey Where is the Evidence?

Amy Kerr Hardin’s [March 22 opinion column, “The Sexual Fetishes of the Far Right”] is hilarious. Yes, there are only two genders. We are not denying the rights of the transgender community. People who identify as trans do so because they want to be a different gender. Can you name another gender? No, you can’t. That is because you overlook the simple facts.* And in regard to males competing in girls’ sports, look at the proof. You can look at the school websites and see the difference in performance between males and females. Men are built differently.

They are physically more able. We suspended the Russians from the Olympics because they used performance-enhancing drugs. All athletes deserve an equal playing field. Trans people competing in sports is a step backward.

Olivia L., Traverse City *Modern science suggest the “facts” of two genders might lean closer to opinion. We encourage readers interested in gaining more understanding about gender to look to recent studies and research, or even overviews like this piece written by Simon(e) D. Sun and published by the reputable Scientific American magazine on June 13, 2019: “Stop Using Phony Science to Defend Transphobia: Actual Research shows that sex is anything but binary.”—Ed.

CONTENTS features The Plight of Two Peninsuals.........................10

Wedding Rides..............................................12 Personalizing Your Wedding Ring....................13 Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties....................14 Love and War...........................................16

columns & stuff

Top Ten........................................................5 Spectator/Stephen Tuttle...............................6 High Notes (sponsored content)..................... 7 Opinion..........................................................8 Weird............................................................9 Dates........................................................18 Advice.....................................................21 Crossword..................................................21 Astrology.....................................................22 Classifieds...............................................22

Northern Express Weekly is published by Eyes Only Media, LLC. Publisher: Luke Haase PO Box 4020 Traverse City, Michigan 49685 Phone: (231) 947-8787 Fax: 947-2425 email: info@northernexpress.com www.northernexpress.com Executive Editor: Lynda Twardowski Wheatley Finance & Distribution Manager: Brian Crouch Sales: Kathleen Johnson, Lisa Gillespie, Kaitlyn Nance, Michele Young, Randy Sills, Todd Norris, Jill Hayes For ad sales in Petoskey, Harbor Springs, Boyne & Charlevoix, call (231) 838-6948 Creative Director: Kyra Poehlman Graphic Designer: Kristen Rivard Distribution: Dave Anderson, Linda Szarkowski, Sarah Rodery, Randy Sills, Roger Racine Matt Ritter, Gary Twardowski Listings Editor: Jamie Kauffold Reporter: Patrick Sullivan Contributors: Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny Ross Boissoneau, Jennifer Hodges, Michael Phillips, Steve Tuttle, Anna Faller, Craig Manning Copyright 2020, all rights reserved. Distribution: 36,000 copies at 600+ locations weekly. Northern Express Weekly is free of charge, but no person may take more than one copy of each weekly issue without written permission of Northern Express Weekly. Reproduction of all content without permission of the publisher is prohibited.

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Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 3

this week’s

top ten NoMi Creation Feeding Farms and Kids Across State

Free Spring Workshops for Maker Minds Springtime might be made for love, but according to the Traverse Area District Libraries, it’s also made for makers.

The annual MakerFest — where partner organizations showcase awesome STEAM and “Making” activities, free, for kids and teens — is happening live, online, between 4:30 and 5pm most every Monday. (Kids can tune in then or watch any of the recorded version on Facebook or YouTube afterward.) So far, kid makers have tackle Design Challenge Cards, a Cardboard Chellenge, a demo of TADL’s 3D printer, and a Humpty Dumpty Egg Drop. Monday April 12 brings a confetti-bowl-making session with TADL Teen Services department; a special Thursday, April 15 workshop will zoom in on a surprise project masterminded the Grass River Natural Area. Find links to watch all previous and upcoming events on the Virtual Makerfest page (under Events) at www.tadl.org.

4 The single largest grant awarded for the northern Michigan-founded 10 Cents a Meal for Michigan’s Kids & Farms program went somewhere kids could use a boost: Flint Community Schools. The Michigan Department of Education awarded the district — home to thousands of families who were exposed to contaminated water during the 2014-2016 municipal water crisis — a $170,000 grant in the latest round of the program, which distributed the grants to districts across the entire state for the first time. Now a state-funded program, 10 Cents a Meal is the brainchild of the former Michigan Land Use Institute (now Groundwork Center for Resilient Communities) in Traverse City; it provides schools and early childhood education centers with matchincentive funding up to 10 cents per meal to purchase and serve Michigan-grown fruits, vegetables, and legumes. Since Governor Whitmer signed the budget into law in October 2020, the program’s funding was increased from $575,000 to $2 million and the program expanded from pilot regions to schools across the state, including Detroit and the Upper Peninsula, as well as early childhood education centers. As a matching fund grant for school districts and ECEs, 10 Cents a Meal essentially doubles the state’s investment because schools match the grant dollars with existing school and ECE lunch funds, usually federal dollars, assuring more money goes to Michigan family farms and the state’s economy.

2

bottoms up North Peak’s Tropical Diabolical

Maybe you had your fill of fruity, umbrellafestooned cocktails on your seaside spring break to sunnier climes. Or maybe, like us, you sat on a saggy lawn chair in your backyard and squinted up at the clouds, hoping for a sliver of sun as you sipped spring break out of a can. Otherwise known as Tropical Diabolical, this limited-time treat is like North Peak Brewing Company’s Diabolical IPA gone wild — on a deluxe vacation to the beaches of Brazil. Envision it: muy gordo amounts of passion fruit, pineapple, guava, tangerine, and sweet orange peel swimming in the piney bite of the Michigan-grown Chinook hops you know and love in the brewery’s classic Diabolical brew, but now sharpened with the addition of Simcoe, Citra, Crystal, Michigan Cashmere, Au Summer, and Mandarina Bavaria hops, too. Smooth and citrus-ey, refreshing even on a brown Michigan lawn in April, Tropical Diabolical — with a 6.6% ABV — is strong and sweet enough to take you away. Or welcome you home. Miniature or life-size umbrellas optional. Find a retailer or tap near you at www.northpeakbeer.com.

4 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

Hey, read it!

All the Names They Used for God

In her dreamy debut collection, “All the Names They Used for God,” author Anjali Sachdeva’s expertly crafted story realm toes the usually elusive line between spirit and science. From the dramatics and discomfort of “Manus,” wherein a toxic alien species invades Earth to replace our hands with kitchen cutlery; to the reimagined Boko Haram kidnapping of the titular “All the Names for God”; to the seven genetically-identical destructions of the masterfully dystopian “Pleiades,” Sachdeva casts her net to nine independent narratives, which she expertly unites within the same frame of fate. A mind-bending blend of sorcery and structure, this book’s got all its genre bases covered — from sci-fi to fantasy and everything in between — in a surprisingly singular odyssey readers won’t soon forget.

5 NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST Karla Cornejo Villavicencio will talk about her criticallyacclaimed book The Undocumented Americans at the National Writers Series virtual author event on April 8 at 7pm.

One of the first undocumented immigrants to graduate from Harvard, Karla reveals the hidden lives of her fellow undocumented Americans in this deeply personal and groundbreaking portrait of a nation. The stories she tells are not deferential or naively inspirational but show the love, magic, and heartbreak that infuse the lives of her subjects.

Guest Host: MYRIAM GURBA • Event Underwriter: DEBBIE EDSON

Register for this Zoom event at NationalWritersSeries.org

6

A To-Die-For Dinner at Home: Taste of Success To Go

Brace yourselves. The Great Lakes Culinary Institute’s Taste of Success Event is coming April 16, and not only does it promise to be one of the best meals you’ll get to eat all year, you get to wear your sweatpants to the shindig. That’s because this year’s event will be held at your home.

Works like this: You reserve your to-go package now ($200; generously serves two), pick it up at the Great Lakes Campus (715 E. Front St., in Traverse City) between 4pm and 6pm April 16, and then go home and stuff yourself silly with stuff the culinary students make explicitly to showcase their skills. What kind of stuff? Oh, not much, just a box of charcuterie items and accompaniments; a 16-ounce serving of soup with garnish; a “global tour box” that includes a sampling of dishes from Asia, Latin America, Europe and the Mediterranean regions (complete with reheating instructions for any item that should be served hot), and a dessert box that includes four to six petit fours and four to six other confections. “For two,” they say. “Elastic waistband for days,” we say. Go on and indulge guilt-free; proceeds go to support the culinary program students. To purchase your package, search “Taste of Success” at nmc.edu.

Stuff we love

Local Filmmaker Scores Amazon Prime Deal; His Movies Now Accessible Worldwide

Thanks to a recent deal, all of Rich Brauer’s movies are now available for viewing to anyone with an Amazon Prime account.

The Traverse City filmmaker worked with several agencies — “[Before the Amazon deal came about] I had six different distributors for seven movies,” he said — but received regular royalty payments only from the one representing his 2004 movie, Barn Red, starring Ernest Borgnine. After meeting with all of them face to face at the American Film Market in Santa Monica five years ago, he decided to let the other distributorship agreements lag or outright canceled them. Now the one distributor is representing all his films and has reached an agreement with Amazon Prime to host all of his films (now numbering nine), as well as his upcoming Frozen Stupid 2: Open Water. He’s excited the movies are now available worldwide to anyone using Amazon Prime. “I don’t know what it means financially, but I’m happy to see them out there,” Brauer said.

Family Camping & Navigation Courses are on!

Greilick Outdoor Recreation & Education Center (GO·REC) is 500 wooded, lakeside acres in the midst of the Great Lakes Basin and, specifically, the lake-dappled forests just southeast of Traverse City. It’s a place you and your family can freely fish, watch wildlife, hike or mountain bike, rent campsites to pitch your tent, and — if you’ve never done any of that before — learn how. Coming up soon: Friday, April 9–Sunday, April 11, you and your family can take a Beginner Family Camping class, where you’ll camp in a tent for two nights, learn how to pack and organize, set up a campsite, cook outside, navigate challenges and safety, and more ($250 per family of five or fewer). Got that stuff down already? Consider honing your own navigation skills April 10–11 ($99) with an expert guide who’ll teach you to read a topography map and how to find your way without a compass (and with a compass and map), so you can cruise with confidence through the backcountry this summer. Find these and other courses offered this spring and summer at exploregorec.org.

8

soon to Coming US-31 4041 orner!

C Chums

tastemaker Mundos’ Avocado Bowl Few things have been as life-altering to us MacBook-wielding creative types as the shutdown of in-house eating and coffee at so many of our beloved local coffee shops. Thanks be to Traverse City’s Mundos then, which has kept our still- homebased staff buzzed up, fed, and safe from going stir crazy. Its sun-lit, greenery-filled, and mega-spacious space just off Woodmere — made greener by a recent foray into selling stylish houseplants in hand-poured concrete pots — is good for the soul and, it turns out, the body.

Case in point: Mundos’ Avocado Bowl ($11.75). Petite but filling, this savory breakfast brought together, atop a just-right-sized bed of brown rice, the healthy protein and choline of two poached eggs, the good fats (and flavor) of several spotless green avocado slices, and the nutritional triple powerhouses of pickled cabbage and onions, kale, and tomatoes.

For a hot minute, we worried it might not be enough to see us through until lunch — it was Sunday brunch, after all — but we’re delighted to report that we worked the computer til noon then powered through a hike at Empire Bluffs that afternoon and didn’t feel hungry until well after 4pm. Unfortunately, we were hungry for another Avocado Bowl at Mundos, which was two counties over and, by then, closed.

Find the TC location of Mundos Roasting & Co. at 708 Boon St.; Suttons Bay location at 206 N. Saint Joseph St. www.mundosroastingco.com.

Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 5

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A LONG HISTORY

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by Stephen Tuttle The media, and much of the public, have suddenly become aware of discrimination against Asian Americans and Asian immigrants. This newfound awareness comes on the heels of a nightmarish massacre in Atlanta. Eight people, six of them Asian women, were gunned down in three separate locations by a man claiming the massage parlors in which they worked were a temptation to his selfdiagnosed sex addiction.

It is not clear the victims were targeted for their racial heritage or just their place of employment. Either way, it brought renewed attention to the very old problem of our mistreatment of people of Asian origin, including damaging stereotypes of Asian women.

The first Asian immigrants, or visitors, of which we have some record arrived in 1587 in what is now California. Menial workers on Spanish galleons, they had started their lives in the Philippines. Some stayed and moved east, establishing their own settlement in New Orleans by 1763. Maritime trade brought additional immigrants from several other Asian countries, and by 1815 there were Chinese-owned and operated businesses in several U.S. cities. They were already facing boycotts and violence from English settlers.

It was the gold rush in California, and economic chaos in China, that brought a flood of new immigrants in the late 1840s and 1850s. Once the dreams of striking it rich faded, Asian immigrants, especially Chinese on the West Coast, became readily available, and willing to work hard and cheaply as farmhands, laundry workers, gardeners, and construction workers.

In the 1860s almost exclusively Chinese work crews built the transcontinental railroad nearly by hand, blasting tunnels through granite mountains, building dozens of trestles, and carving tracks over mountain and desert. It was remarkably difficult work and an equally remarkable human achievement. It didn’t matter; the very people who had just done all that work were targets of legal discrimination soon enough.

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6 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

The Panic of 1873 led to a depression that lasted until 1877. Jobs became extraordinarily scarce, and antiimmigrant and nativist attitudes increased dramatically. Chinese immigrants, easily identifiable and almost always willing to accept lower pay while undertaking the least desirable jobs, became easy targets. Anti-Chinese racism became so widespread that laws were passed.

The Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 (yup, that’s actually what it was named) could not have been more overt. It banned Chinese immigration altogether and prohibited any Chinese national already here from becoming a U.S. citizen. It was replaced a decade later by the Geary

Act, which strengthened the restrictions.

California took it a step further, making it illegal for any Chinese person to live, work, or even enter the state. In a practical sense, it became illegal to even be Chinese.

The Geary Act, which was shamefully upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court, was finally repealed in 1943. We were already targeting a different group of Asian citizens by then.

In 1942, Franklin Roosevelt, in his worst moment as president, signed an executive order that rounded up more than 120,000 people of Japanese ancestry and herded them into what we euphemistically called internment camps. These “camps,” located in seven states, were much closer to concentration camps or prisons, surrounded by rows of barbed wire fencing and patrolled by armed military guards also stationed in watchtowers. Some 80,000 of those people were either natural-born or naturalized U.S. citizens but, we were told at the time, we couldn’t be sure of their loyalties during World War II. Americans of Japanese descent made easy targets identifiable by appearance, name, and language. Japan had recently bombed Pearl Harbor, we had declared war, and our anger was misdirected at Japanese-Americans. In addition to their imprisonment, we took their homes, businesses, farms, and bank accounts, which we never returned when the internment program ended in 1945.

Somewhat ironically, the Army’s 442nd Infantry Regiment, comprised almost entirely of Japanese-American volunteers whose families were subject to internment, was the most decorated in World War II. They received eight presidential unit citations and, incredibly, 21 unit members received the Congressional Medal of Honor.

(We ultimately apologized for the internment program and paid reparations to survivors who had suffered through it.)

Things weren’t quite as grim for Koreans during the mid-1950s since they represented both sides of that conflict, but Korean Americans did not escape the animus of some.

Some of us have now decided, for reasons of ignorance, Asian Americans are somehow responsible for the pandemic and all the grief it has brought with it.

That sentiment was ably abetted by some politicians always searching for easy villains and easier answers. According to the FBI, violence against Asians and Asian-Americans has increased 150 percent in the last two years.

That increase in violence might be new, but the prejudice has a centuries-old history.

Our bigots haven’t been choosy; Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese ... we’ve targeted those with any Asian ancestry. Blaming anyone different is the American way.

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Marijuana Events: Theory vs. Reality Among the newly legal though not-yet widely understood types of marijuana license are the marijuana-event-organizer license and temporary marijuana-event license. I’d like to try to shed some light on what these licenses are, what they are not, and what they ultimately mean to the public.

Let’s start with the marijuana event organizer. This is simply a person or organization licensed by the State of Michigan to organize marijuana events.

Like any other license type, obtaining a marijuana-event-organizer license requires submitting a standard license application and paying a $1,000 fee.

The license is good for one year.

Once an event organizer is licensed, that person or organization would need a venue to host temporary marijuana events. Such a venue would need to be permitted by the municipality in which it’s located, similar to how a city or township currently authorizes or prohibits marijuana retailers. Once the appropriate permits are obtained, the licensed event organizer could then apply for a temporary marijuana event.

A temporary marijuana event could run from one to seven days at the licensed venue, where marijuana retailers would be authorized to dispense product. Designated areas for on-site consumption could also be established.

In theory, these events sound like a lot of fun for marijuana enthusiasts.

However, the red tape involved will likely prevent many existing events and festivals from obtaining these licenses, making them impractical to implement.

For example, if you cross-referenced northern Michigan cities and townships that have opted in to these license types and well-known regional summer music festivals like Hoxeyville or Blissfest, you’d come up emptyhanded.

In order for those venue sites to become authorized, they’d need to be moved to a local jurisdiction where they could be permitted and licensed.

Sounds like a mess, right? (And why it’s much easier to stay off the grid and light up under the radar.)

That said, one place for existing festivals and events to intersect with legal marijuana may be through retail delivery; as long as events take place on private property, retailers can fulfill online orders and deliver to the private residence.

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Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 7

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By Mary Keyes Rogers It’s here! It’s here! The 2021 World Happiness Report is here! Maybe you missed the big news?

I understand. When you are trying to stay alive, happiness becomes a low priority.

Happy? Who’s happy? I’m happy to have toilet paper and a ham in my freezer.

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Here’s what you need to know: This datarich report is has been published each year, since 2011 in response to a resolution of the United Nations General Assembly that invited national governments to “give more importance to happiness and well-being in determining how to achieve and measure social and economic development.”

Unsurprisingly, the theme of this year’s report is Life Under COVID-19. In truth, the state of the world has created an interesting petri dish for measuring happiness during a worldwide pandemic.

Although the shadow cast by the pandemic has changed how we go about living our lives, the data gleaned from the Gallup World Poll remained the same as the prior years: income, healthy life expectancy, social support, freedom, trust, and generosity.

According to those who know about the ins and outs of happiness, these are the factors that matter.

I’m no different than every other human who reads this report. The publishers note that readers first want to know how their home country ranks (the United States ranks 14th out of 149), followed by which country came in last place (Afghanistan at 149), who is the happiest (Finland, four years running), and finally, a curiosity to know why the highestranking countries are so damn happy.

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This year’s report emphasizes that under the COVID-19 microscope, one metric stands out in its importance to happiness. More than income, freedom, generosity, social support, or healthy life expectancy.

Trust.

Well, no wonder the U.S.A. isn’t getting the gold medal this year. Trust has been circling the drain since the Watergate scandal and the suction of that drain is pulling like a fire hose in reverse, stronger now than ever before.

Until reading this report in full, I never considered the magnitude of trust in my personal level of happiness. Have you?

Let’s look at trust from different views. Do you trust your spouse, your employer, or your next-door neighbor to treat you fairly and with respect?

Then, pulling your view back a bit, do you trust that the cashier will give you the correct change and that the chef won’t spit in your food? Do you trust the northern Michigander who finds your lost wallet to return it? What if you lost that wallet in Detroit or Los Angeles?

RAYAN ANASTO R

BRIAN CO NF ER PHOTOGRAPHY

8 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

Do you feel secure in the trustworthiness of news sources, government data, and the algorithms of your social media?

Do you trust the results of last year’s elections?

Consider your elected representatives: Are they working in the best interest of citizens? Are they competent? Do you expect corruption?

Do you trust your public institutions and the people who operate them?

In its 2021 Best States analysis, U.S. News and World Report ranks Michigan 38th of the 50 States based on over 70 metrics including health care, education, fiscal stability, economy, infrastructure, opportunity, crime and corruption, natural resources. The Center for Public Integrity notes Michigan’s legislature has earned an “F” in government transparency.

Michigan’s legislature has delayed the spending of federal COVID-19 relief funds as a maneuver of political leverage. Is this for real? Trust them?

In Grand Traverse County, you need only to look at the Traverse City Public School Board or the County Commission to see a public institution suffering from trust drain.

From the widest view of our nation, how can we possibly trust our political parties, the President or members of Congress when they are funded by special interest groups and corporations whose first priority is profit to shareholders?

It is nonsensical to believe that the best interests of our citizens or nation could be of their highest priority.

As Thomas Jefferson noted in 1809, “The care of human life and happiness and not their destruction is the first and only legitimate object of good government.” Really? I think this ideal has been not only lost on our leadership but as an expectation of our citizens.

The very basis of our economic system works against a sense of trust. How could it be otherwise?

In my personal micro-trust review, I do trust the people of northern Michigan, believing we are good neighbors, good people. But pulling my perspective to the macro-view of the greater population and our public institutions, my trust quickly and astonishingly drains to what might fill a teaspoon.

We deserve better, but first we must commit to expecting trustworthiness as the lowest common denominator in our elected officials and institutions. The relationship between human nature and capitalism makes this ideal seem very unlikely.

My opinion of the findings within the 2021 World Happiness Report is that after considering the matter of trust, and how little of that commodity exists in this country right now, I’m surprised the U.S. managed to come in at 14th and not lower.

Mary Rogers is the host of “The Experience 50 Podcast for Midlife” and an actively engaged citizen of Grand Traverse County. She lives in Traverse City.

Can’t Help Herself Two weeks after a plea deal fell through in connection with a 2019 attempt to stowaway on a flight at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport, Marilyn Hartman, 69, was arrested and charged with trespassing March 16 as she attempted to sneak onto another flight at O’Hare, the Associated Press reported. At the time of her 2019 arrest, Hartman was on probation after having bypassed security in January 2018 and boarded a flight from Chicago to London without a ticket. The Cook County Sheriff ’s Department says it plans to seek a felony escape charge for Hartman.

Perspective In March, Einstein Cafe, an upscale dessert chain with outlets across the Gulf Arab states, started a fad by selling its thick, milky drinks in plastic baby bottles, complete with nipples. The Associated Press reported the cafe was inspired by photos of trendy bottles on social media, and the idea was an instant hit. People lined up at Einstein stores, they “took photos, they had fun, they remembered their childhood,” said Younes Molla, CEO of the chain, but others “were so angry they said horrible things.” In Dubai, Kuwait and Bahrain, the government cracked down on the new cafe offerings, saying the bottles violate the countries’ customs and traditions; in Oman, citizens were asked to report sightings of the baby bottle confections to a consumer protection hotline.

Recurring Themes Laura Rose Carroll, 50, and her daughter, Emily Rose Grover, 17, were arrested in Pensacola, Florida, on March 16 after an investigation by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement found the duo had allegedly stuffed the ballot box with votes for Emily for homecoming queen last fall. Suspicions were raised when the Escambia County School District reported illegal accessing of hundreds of its students’ digital accounts.

Authorities said Carroll, an assistant elementary school principal, had access to the district student information system, and investigators traced unauthorized entries into the system to Carroll’s cellphone and computers, where nearly 250 votes were cast.

Fox News reported that investigators also said students reported being told by Grover about her mother’s activity. Each of them was charged with offenses against computers and other cybercrimes, along with conspiracy.

Raffaela Spone, 50, was arrested in early March in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, after prosecutors say she created “deepfake” videos and photographs of at least three girls on her daughter’s cheerleading squad in an apparent attempt to embarrass them and force them off the team. Prosecutors said Spone allegedly sent the manipulated images to the girls -- shown drinking, smoking and naked -- anonymously and suggested they kill themselves, The Philadelphia Inquirer reported. Parents of one of recipients contacted police, and detectives traced the IP address where the messages originated to Spone’s home. Investigators believe Spone’s daughter was unaware of what her mother was doing.

Compelling Explanation Andrew Almer of Fargo, North Dakota, has flown an American flag from the balcony of his condominium for two years, but the

condo association is now demanding the flag be taken down because it creates too much noise flapping in the wind. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Almer told reported KVLY-TV. “It’s not rude, it’s not nasty, it’s the American flag. ... It’s not coming down anytime soon.”

Home Sweet Home Vietnam veteran Tom Garvey, 78, of Ambler, Pennsylvania, has released a new memoir, not about his service in Southeast Asia, but about the “secret apartment” he maintained for two years in an empty concession stand in Philadelphia’s Veterans Stadium, once home to both the Phillies and the Eagles, reported The Philadelphia Inquirer. From 1979 to 1981, Garvey lived in an “off-the-wall South Philly version of the Phantom of the Opera,” he said, furnishing the apartment with a bed, sink, refrigerator, stereo, coffeemaker, hot plate and seating for guests, who included players’ wives waiting for their husbands after games.

Leftover Astroturf served as the carpeting.

Cousin Terry Nilon said being in Garvey’s apartment, located literally in leftfield, felt like “Vet stadium was in his living room.”

Sour Grapes Andreas Flaten of Peachtree City, Georgia, quit his job at Walker Luxury Autoworks in November, visibly annoying his boss, he told WGCL-TV, but he was promised his final $915 paycheck would be paid in January. When the check didn’t come, Flaten contacted the Georgia Department of Labor, and one night in mid-March, 500 pounds of oily pennies were anonymously dumped in his driveway, presumably totaling $915. Flaten has been storing them in a wheelbarrow, but they can’t be cashed until they are cleaned.

Make your reservations now for a glass or flight of wine on our beautiful east terrace or west lawn, each overlooking picturesque vineyards, backdropped by Grand Traverse Bay!

Reservations are available online now at

shop.chateauchantal.com/reservation-events

Blessing or Curse?

Work had begun on the small bungalow retired banker Charles Pole, 81, of Wiveliscombe, England, was building for himself on his property when excavators unearthed the remains of a 13th-century bishop’s palace, simultaneously solving a local mystery and bringing construction to a halt. Historians had been looking for the site, once home to bishops of Bath and Wells, for 200 years, and a spokesperson for the South West Heritage Trust described it to the Somerset County Gazette in early March as a “significant find.” In the meantime, though, Pole is stuck with the bill. “The cost of the investigation is going to cost me around ($26,000),” he said. Building will continue after the site is protected and covered over again.

Fine Points of the Law Lawyers filing briefs for the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit were advised on March 16 the court would be officially discouraging the use of the Garamond typeface, a centuries-old font widely used in printed books, because it “can be more difficult to read,” wrote court clerk Mark J. Langer. Fox News reported the font is popular among attorneys, but author and web designer David Kadavy, gets it: “Garamond is considered one of the best fonts in existence, (but it) “can be a disaster on the web. ... It’s better to use a modern font that has been drawn with the screen in mind.”

Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 9

Nice place for a wine wedding? While the settings and views all over Old Mission Peninsula are breathtaking, Peninsula Township zoning prohibits wineries from hosting weddings, live amplified music, and more — restrictions most of the local wineries there contend is at odds with their licenses from the Michigan Liquor Control Commission.

AG PRESERVATION, DIVERSIFICATION, AND THE PLIGHT OF TWO PENINSULAS Are winery weddings and on-site camping too much for Old Mission and Leelanau Peninsula farmers to ask of their neighbors? Or is outdated zoning forcing an unsustainable future for our local agriculture?

By Craig Manning What is the future of agricultural land in northern Michigan?

For generations, the region has been known for its farms. Traverse City is the Cherry Capital of the World, but northern Michigan’s agricultural prowess goes beyond just cherries. From apples to blueberries to hops to wine grapes, the area’s unique growing conditions have made it a treasure trove of local produce. But what happens when business from traditional farming operations isn’t enough to drive prosperity for farm owners — or even keep the lights on?

It’s a question that several local agricultural owners are currently asking.

From the Old Mission Peninsula wineries seeking more freedom and flexibility in their zoning, to the Leelanau County cherry growers looking to embrace the growing trend of agritourism, “diversification” is the name of the game for local ag in 2021. The dilemma that local regulators are facing, though, is how much flexibility and freedom they can offer ag businesses without giving those businesses carte blanche to commercialize their farmland.

THE WINERY WAR The loudest of these battles is being waged between the Wineries of Old Mission Peninsula (WOMP) and Peninsula Township. Last fall,

WOMP — a group that includes 10 of the 11 wineries on Old Mission (Bonobo Winery is the holdout) — filed a federal lawsuit alleging that the township’s zoning ordinance unfairly restricts winery operations.

Under Peninsula Township zoning, all Old Mission wineries are barred from hosting weddings or live amplified music, running restaurants or off-site catering operations, staying open past 9:30pm, and more. WOMP says these restrictions conflict with things they are allowed to do, by right, based on their liquor licenses from the Michigan Liquor Control Commission (MLCC).

“We’re just asking for the rights that are allowed, and the benefits that are offered, by the state and by our MLCC permits,” said Chris Baldyga, president of WOMP and co-founder of Old Mission’s 2 Lads Winery.

“These are not unique things to Peninsula Township wineries; they are things that wineries almost anywhere should be able to do on farmland.”

The wineries have been in talks with the township for years — since 2008, according to Baldyga — to update the decades-old zoning ordinance. WOMP filed the lawsuit last year, an effort Baldyga calls a “last resort,” because negotiations weren’t moving fast enough.

In addition to the township, another entity standing in opposition to WOMP is Protect the Peninsula (PTP). First formed in 1979, PTP is an advocacy group made up of Old Mission Peninsula residents that exists “to

10 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

promote and support our quality of life” on the peninsula. Last month, PTP filed a motion in federal court to “intervene” in the lawsuit between WOMP and Peninsula Township. If the motion is granted, PTP will join the lawsuit as a co-defendant, alongside the township.

On March 19, PTP issued a statement urging WOMP to drop the lawsuit and instead pursue “a reasonable approach to find balance between farming, residential needs, and commercial enterprises” through Michigan’s zoning process.

PTP believes that an open dialogue between all Old Mission Peninsula stakeholders — wineries, the township, other farmers, homeowners, and peninsula business owners — would allow those parties to find common ground and craft a compromise in the form of new zoning rules. The group argues that WOMP’s lawsuit is precluding these types of all-hands-on-deck discussions from taking place — first, by creating an adversarial situation, and second, by locking some stakeholders out of the process.

“There can be no doubt that changing the winery zoning rules will impact more than just the 11 wineries,” the PTP statement said. “It will also impact all farmers, not just grape farmers. It will impact neighbors and competing businesses in commercial areas.

It will also impact all road users. And it will impact present and future farmers, residents, and businesses. All these voices deserve to be heard.”

Cory and Elise Holman

Also urging a search for common ground is the similarly-named Protect the Peninsula Farmers LLC, a recently formed organization of local “farmers and people who support farmers, who want to express our view with regard to the winery issue on the peninsula.”

In a recent letter sent to Northern Express, that group suggests it’s the township, not the wineries, that are precluding talks that could lead to a fair compromise on zoning.

“We have been struck by all the negative

Nine of 10 wineries on Old Mission Peninsula have joined the federal lawsuit challenging Peninsula Township’s zoning ordinance. Those who oppose changing the ordinance say one of many issues with allowing the wineries to host weddings and other events with large attendance is the massive amount of traffic those events would bring to the narrow peninsula, which has one central road leading on and off.

attacks leveled at the wineries because they are seeking changes in outdated and arguably illegal regulations,” Protect the Peninsula Farmers wrote. “Clearly the township does not want to budge.”

“All farmers, including the wineries, face economic, weather, and pest-related challenges,” the letter continued. “We are constantly trying to find new ways to farm and new products that will help us stay afloat. We wouldn’t expect the wineries to do less. Let’s support a way forward that allows the wineries to do some of the things they are asking for and some of the things they are clearly allowed to do by state and federal law … [Y]ears ago township leaders worked with winegrowers/winery owners to develop rules to guide sustainable growth in our growing wine business. The rules need to be updated because competition keeps changing.”

For the wineries, that argument — of adapting and diversifying to stay profitable and competitive as industry dynamics change — is the crux of the issue. Baldyga contends that, in an evolving agricultural landscape, small ag businesses like local wineries need new streams of revenue to stay profitable and keep their land in agriculture. “[Old Mission wineries] are agricultural companies that are maintaining farming at a time when small farms are beat out by large farming operations that are highly mechanized, that have very few people at the helm, and that are not actually adding value to the product on site like we do,” Baldyga said. “I think that is something that should be celebrated and given as much chance to succeed as any business in the area. I hope that our neighbors see that we’re not big,

Hallstedt Homestead Cherries found another source of revenue in offering U-Pick tours on their Leelalanau County cherry farm, but they’re pursuing a change in ordinance as well, in hopes of adding a camping/lodging component.

faceless, mega-corp wineries that are trying to become somehow wildly profitable, or are bent on midwestern wine domination. If we wanted to be in something wildly profitable, we sure as heck wouldn’t be in the wine business. But we love it, and that’s why we do it.”

Some have pushed back against WOMP’s argument that looser regulations are necessary for keeping Old Mission Peninsula’s small ag industry thriving. Barb Wunsch, part of the multi-generational farming family that owns and operates Old Mission’s Wunsch Farms takes issue with WOMP’s rationale.

SAME STORY, DIFFERENT COUNTY On Leelanau Peninsula, just 25 miles across the west arm of Grand Traverse Bay, some local farmers suggest that the longterm outlook for small ag — at least without considerable pivots or diversification — might not be so rosy.

In Northport, Phil and Sarah Hallstedt, the owners of Hallstedt Homestead Cherries, have been pursuing their own zoning ordinance amendment, which would allow them to add a camping/lodging component to their farm. With weather challenges and pests making crop quality and crop size

“This whole idea is about being able to take this land and keep it in agriculture, and find ways to bring in some additional value.”

“I disagree with WOMP’s characterization,” Wunsch told Northern Express. “We are not a failing or declining business, and a commercialized wine entertainment sector is not the only path forward for OMP’s agricultural land. In the last five years, three millennial members of our family farm have purchased farms of their own on Old Mission, and our farm has grown from humble beginnings to manage as much farmland as the entire Old Mission Peninsula wine industry combined.”

Wunsch continued: “As farmers, when market conditions for a crop are not profitable, we plant new crops, improve our operation efficiencies, or add value within the confines of the zoning ordinance.”

unpredictable for local cherry farmers in recent years — and with cherry pricing ping-ponging up and down, thanks in part to foreign competitors — producing cherries in northern Michigan has become a less lucrative venture than it once was.

The Hallstedts have made it work by pivoting to agritourism, embracing a U-Pick model several years ago. Now, they want to grow their agritourism focus further, with “farm site” camping, where different sites on their property would be set up for camping (tents or RVs), glamping (temporary structures for guests to use, including hard-sided tents and yurts), or lodging (permanent tiny houses that could be offered to guests as short-term rentals or

used to house seasonal workers).

Many of the same factors that are being brought up in the debate around the WOMP lawsuit — increased traffic, noise, reckless behavior from guests, disturbances to neighbors — have also been discussed by Leelanau Township Planning Commission officials as they weighed the possibility of changing the zoning ordinance.

The arguments in favor of a zoning shift, meanwhile, are also very similar.

“We want to find a way to have the orchard survive and thrive, and then augment it,” Phil Hallstedt said. “This whole idea is about being able to take this land and keep it in agriculture, and find ways to bring in some additional value.”

THE NEXT GENERATION For the next generation of local farmers, diversification is simply a fact of life.

Take Cory and Elise Holman, who recently purchased Traverse City’s Garden Goods from founders and long-time owners Gordy and Julie Sovereign. Cory is a seventh-generation farmer at Cherry Ridge Orchards on Old Mission Peninsula.

The young married couple — he’s 29, she’s 24 — bought Garden Goods specifically to supplement the farm’s income.

“We’ve been trying to find ways to be doing something that we love and are passionate about that also revolves around agriculture, as a way to supplement the farm,” Elise said. “You’ve probably heard a lot of the stories about how the small family farm is dying. It’s really important, as young people who want to continue the tradition, to make sure that we have every avenue possible to continue farming.”

Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 11

By Ross Boissoneau It’s the day you’ve been waiting for. Your prince has long since arrived on his white horse, and you’re finally making it official. So why not up the horsepower and ride to and from your nuptials in a style that suits this next milestone in your journey? Whether you want a classic ride for just the two of you, a party bus for a dancing dozen plus, or a romantic horse-drawn wagon to drive you off into the northern Michigan sunset, we’ve got your options. (Even if all you want is to make-out in a parked vintage VW.) GET THE PARTY ROLLING You and your entire wedding party must get to the church on time, but the reception … ? Made slightly more difficult (but a lot more fun) when you’re on board the mobile party that is Northern Michigan Limousine Service’s limo bus. Affectionally named Gretchen, this big gal can seat up to 14 in a comfy living room-meets-dance party setting: Think, cushy seats and flashing LED lights throughout, a 55” monitor/smart TV for viewing and graphics while grooving to the onboard jukebox or your phone or tablet.

Gretchen’s onboard iPad controls Kodi Entertainment and Easycolor LED lighting, while the four 6-by-9-inch and two 12-inch bass speakers make sure you’ll be rocking. Three beverage stations with two built-in coolers insure you won’t be left thirsty.

Details: $120 per hour Monday-Thursday (three-hour minimum) and $60 each additional half-hour; $150 per hour Friday-Sunday (four hour minimum), $75 each additional halfhour. Serves Traverse City, Interlochen, Grawn, Kalkaska, Cadillac, Manton, Houghton Lake, Grayling, Bear Lake, Mancelona, Rapid City, Alden and Bellaire. Also available for wine tours, proms, sporting events, and more, with rates as losw as $7–$20 per person (Depending on event and number of people). Go to www.northernmilimoservice.com.

(NOT) TOO MUCH, MAGIC BUS Hip, comfy, and not just one, Sean and Dan Mackey’s Magic Shuttle Bus is actually a whole fleet of magic buses.

While the buses will transport your crew to any venue for any reason, Sean said weddings have become a staple of the business. “The last couple years it’s really evolved into wedding transportation, from the hotel to the venue, then back at the end of the night. We also do a lot of bachelorette parties,” he said.

That might be because each bus boasts perimeter seating, making it easy for everyone on board to easily converse, plus deluxe audio systems with Bluetooth accessibility, LED lighting, integrated coolers, and more.

Details: The Magic Buses accommodate groups from 12 passengers to 40-passengers.

Prices ranging from $100 to $200 an hour. The coverage area is approximately a 50-mile radius around Traverse City. Learn more at www.magicshuttlebus.com.

Bonus “Ride”: Check out the newest addition to the fleet, the Volkswagen Photobooth Bus (pictured above). Not meant for transportation, but instead, a fun way to have instant photos taken at your event. It comes with plenty of props. For two hours, cost is $600.

ZING, ZING, ZING GO YOUR HEARTSTRINGS Based out of Gaylord, Northern Michigan Trolley strikes a balance between classy and vintage, with etched glass, brass rails and park bench seats. And it’s all fun, fun, fun.

“It’s unique, a vintage feel, and not a shuttle.

You can drink on the trolley, play your own music — it’s so fun to go between the wedding and reception,” says owner Cheryl Scheer.

Details: The trolleys accommodate 25 to 30 people and service most of northwestern lower Michigan. Cost runs around $500 for two hours, though it depends on distance and service. Go to www.northernmichigantrolley.com.

BIG (& LITTLE) LUX The folks at Blue Lakes by The Bay offer a variety of vehicles that push plush to a new level. For big gangs: a luxury coach that seats the happy couple and 54 of their closest friends. Amenities include comfy reclining seats, AM/FM stereo, DVD Player and TV monitors, 110v and USB Outlets, air conditioning, an onboard restroom, and a public address system. Smaller but no less luxurious, Blue Lakes’ limo bus cozies up a group of 24 or fewer on luxurious leather couches and treats ’em to flat screen TVs, a premium sound system, neon party lighting, and more.

Details: Cost for the 56-passenger ride is $750 for four hours. The 24-passenger limo bus is $650 for four hours. They are both available for up to 12 hours, at an additional cost of approximately $125 per hour, according to the service. See www.bluelakesbythebay.com.

INTIMATE & CLASSIC (And sometimes chauffeured …)

For the bride, groom, or couple that prefers a little quiet time en route to the wedding or reception, a car would no doubt work best. But not the usual workaday car, please. Go in style with a classic ride — maybe one from the ’40s or ’50s, or a muscle car from the ’60s or ’70s, or even a Model T or a Duesenberg. Thanks to Driveshare, you may be in luck.

A unique rental program from Hagerty, Driveshare matches owners of classic, vintage, and collector automobiles with those interested in renting them. Availability varies from region to region, and the price is determined by the vehicle’s owner. Many are available to drive, while others are available only with chauffeur service. For more information, check out www.Driveshare.com. Here are a few of the cars available in this area: 1958 Oldsmobile Super 88 Chauffeured Rental: $500/full day Many suggest this car is the perfect visual representation of what 1958 was all about. Classic seafoam green body with

12 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

dark metallic green roof, lots of chrome, and space rocket styling with huge fins. They don’t make ’em like this anymore.

1964 Porsche 356 Driving Rental: $275/full day New plus rebuilt equals classic: The engine was rebuilt 500 miles ago, brakes in 2018. Fun to drive, with excellent suspension and steering, new tires and new battery, and it looks great with silver over black leather interior with square weave carpeting.

1955 Ford Thunderbird Chauffeured Rental: $225/full day This beauty is No. 7 of 200 (or fewer) commissioned by Ford as a promotional item. It was built by Camelot Motors of Marshall after buying out Shay Motors. Fiberglass body, V8-225 Windsor, leather interior, removable hard top, updated with all the safety features required as of 1984. *Note on all transport listed: Prices may vary based on distance traveled and other factors; gratuities are not included.

Wexford Jewelers

Wexford Jewelers

Leland Blue ring, Korner Gem

Deer Antler ring, Korner Gem

Case-Daniels & Rae Jewelry

Korner Gem

Leland Blue Halo, Korner Gem

TREND WATCH

Personalizing Your Wedding Ring Local jewelry designers share how to, how much, and what’s possible

By Ross Boissoneau Custom doesn’t mean costly — at least not necessarily. For those looking to make a personal statement with an engagement or wedding ring, the options are endless.

Using family heirlooms or even materials associated with the area will make it more personal and sometimes even less expensive.

“A lot of people are designing their own ring,” said Kevin Gauthier, owner of Korner Gem in Traverse City. While many jewelers are able to recast rings made from the client’s rings or other metal, he said what makes his approach unique is the ability to incorporate their found stones, including things like Petoskey stones or Leland Blue.

“That’s the beauty. We can take a Petoskey stone and slice it and have half for each [ring]. We’re doing a lot with Michigan stones, something unique people have found and include into their jewelry design.

“More and more natural Michigan rocks are becoming popular for wedding rings,” he continued, noting that younger people are eschewing traditional gold bands with diamonds. Instead, they’re opting for materials like tungsten, cobalt, stainless steel, even ceramic or silicone. He compares it to their lifestyle, in which their most

important asset — their phone — typically changes every three to five years. “It’s spilled over into wedding and engagement rings.

You put a beach stone into it; when it’s gone, you find another.”

Gauthier said this trend first came to his notice at a seminar about 10 years ago. “When the guy explained it, I said, ‘I don’t know.’ But observing it over the years, it’s true-ish.”

Whatever the cause, the trend toward diversity is obvious to Emily Nichols at Wexford Jewelers. Her Cadillac jewelry store specializes in custom designs. Nichols is a manager and co-owner with her sisters, who are jewelry designers for the store and have created their own line. Even so, many of the customers want something that’s more personal to them. “People are always into diamonds. When they come to a store that does custom design, they get a little more creative,” Nichols said. “They have something unique to them.”

She said the trend toward creativity continues to expand. “Everybody wants to customize these days,” she continued. “They want to add a family heirloom diamond or colored stone. We’ve even made them with Leland Blue, pieces they’ve found, their birthstone — anything goes.”

That’s especially true in the case of wedding

rings, where both partners work together to include things meaningful to them, as opposed to a surprise engagement ring. It’s bringing both bride and groom to the party, so they can incorporate heirlooms or their own activities and treasures into the rings.

Will Case of Case-Daniels & Rae Jewelry of Suttons Bay said that’s why it’s important to work with the clients to understand what they really want. He said he’s selling trust as much as he’s selling jewelry. “You sit with them for two hours, draw out what is important — fixing your teeth or getting a one-carat diamond.”

While that may sound amusing, it’s not meant that way. Given the potential cost, it may make financial sense as well as being more meaningful to use a family heirloom than picking one out from a tray of shiny new rings. “I sell diamonds, but I don’t promote them,” Case said.

Ed Freund, owner of Edward Freund Jewelry Design, said larger or chain jewelry stores sell what is popular, but many couples don’t want what’s “popular” these days. “It all looks the same,” he said. Those who want to create their own pieces can draw on what they’ve seen. “If they see something they like on the internet I can reproduce it.”

But won’t a custom design be more

costly? Not necessarily. The cost of a ring depends on three factors: the stone or stones used, the metal, and the labor. If people are choosing not to purchase a large new diamond and instead turn to diamonds they already have or use much smaller diamonds in concert with other less expensive stones, the cost of the ring can be much less.

Freund gives a hypothetical example.

“Grandma comes in with her grandson. She gave him her diamond, and I turn it into a brand new piece. It’s familial, unique, and costs less.”

How much less? The savings can be substantial. “You can save $1,500 to $5,000 if you already have a diamond,” said Freund.

Gauthier took it even further. “A onecarat diamond medium grade is about $5,000 to $6,000. If you use a custom inlay, it’s under $100,” he said. “You can accent it with [smaller] diamonds, and it’s still less.”

While many jewelers take in materials brought to them by the family, from gold chains to old rings, Nichols said it’s important to be careful when including metals. “We’ll take as a credit toward the job, but we cast with fresh gold. Old gold in a fresh casting, you can run into tinning,” where the differences in the purity of gold can lead to discoloration.

Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 13

Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties to Remember Buh-bye, bar crawls

By Lynda Wheatley Look, we love a boozy bash as much as the next guy. And we get it — in a super gorgeous region known for its craft beer, wine, and spirits, with plenty of for-hire vans and buses to haul your crew about, and a bunch of fun bars in your choice of walkable downtowns, it’s hard to resist the lure of a drink-til-you-drown blowout bash to honor your last days as a swingin’ single.

But we’ve all seen enough girls in stained “Bride” sashes getting dragged down Traverse City’s Front Street by a dutiful but equally drunk brigade of bridesmaids. Ditto for the guy we know is the groom-to-be by the vomit on his tuxedo T-shirt. So in the spirit of making memories — and actually remembering them the next day — we offer up some prenuptial party ideas where alcohol is the accompaniment; not the main event. Here, six libationspritzed (but not soaked) Up North excursions to celebrate what makes this place and your soon-to-be-hitched bestie so special.

A PRENUP PARTY IN MOTION Ultra-Easy Biking, Picnicking, Wine Tasting Few hours will feel as footloose and fancy-free as those that take you and your gang biking the quiet trails and backroads of Leelanau County. You can stop at up to seven wineries on a route curated just for you and your crew. Because the tour is self-guided and much of it keeps to the paved (and fairly flat) Leelanau Trail, a leisurely pace is easy to keep, both at and between wineries.

Making the day even easier: A catered lunch from MI Market will be delivered to your crew at a pre-arranged time and place, and any bottles you buy along the way will be picked up so no one cycling has to port them along.

Should your gang want to stretch out the hours and the ground covered, consider the E-Bike the Vines Tour instead. Here, 10 wineries are available, and all are within extra-easy reach, thanks to an upgrade to electric bicycles, super quiet and easy-to-ride bikes that’ll give you an extra boost only when needed (e.g., pedaling hard uphill) but seamlessly let you do the pedaling when you don’t.

Both tours — which include bikes, helmet, lunch, and daylong van support and service in case of bike or weather emergency — leave from the Grand Traverse Bike Tours shop, in Suttons Bay. Learn more at www.grandtraversebiketours.com.

C’MON BABY, LIGHT MY SOLDERING IRON Metalsmithing/Jewelry-Making Workshop You and your gals can shop til you drop at Moraine Shop & Studio, a Suttons Bay boutique featuring chic handmade jewelry, art, home décor, and other lovelies. But what we and legions of jewelry-making virgins love most about Moraine is that you can walk in a wholly unskilled crafter and, within a single workshop, walk out with some stunning pieces of wearable art you made yourself. And we’re not talking beads on a string either.

Since its opening in summer 2019, Moraine has hosted workshops where guests have made, in three hours, sets of silver stacking rings, hammered silver jewelry sets, and an entire fused fine-silver chain.

Although the classes and workshops have been on hold due to COVID, co-owner Kelsey McQuown tells Northern Express the studio will start opening up scheduling for private workshops — i.e., bachelorette parties and such —this summer, with public registration workshops to follow. Learn more and get in touch via www.shop-moraine.com.

SIMULTANEOUS STAG-AND-HEN SUPER WEEKEND Golf, Spa, Beach, Casino, Repeat Those who love the idea of a comingled bachelor/bachelorette bash should consider booking a couple nights in one or more of Grand Traverse Resort’s tower suites. Perched on floors 12, 14, and 15, each one offers huge views of greater Grand Traverse — orchards, forest, and big blue bay included — plus a private balcony, a number of optional connected bedrooms, and ultra-plush communal living and dining space (with 60-inch flat screens, a wine fridge, and more). Whether you keep the whole gang celebrating together each step of the way or split the guys and gals among different suites and activities, there’s enough space and recreation opportunities here for all.

Our suggestion? A morning scramble on one

14 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

of the resort’s four championship golf courses, afternoon spa treatments (call the group spa coordinator at (231) 534-6756 to customize a group sesh like a sparkling-wine-spritzed pediparty), and an all-in group dinner and cocktails at the tower-top Aerie restaurant. Whoever’s still standing after dessert can bus on over to the adjacent Turtle Creek Casino & Resort for a night playing slots, blackjack, video poker, and most recently, sports betting.

Seasonal Thinking: Summer parties have the extra option of lounging by one of the resort’s two outdoor pools (one is located across the road, beachside, and hosts live music on weekends); parties booked at any time of year will have the option to throw axes, bowl, or find their way out of an escape room in the resort’s in-house entertainment hub, The Den. Learn more at www. grandtraverseresort.com or call (231) 534-6000.

HEAD “STRAITS” TO THE ISLANDS Mackinac to Les Cheneaux — via Lobster Boat Charter fishing trips aren’t hard to find in northwest Lower Michigan. (Just Google “charter fishing” and the name of your favorite NoMi coastal town — or toss a rock down the docks at a local marina; you’ll find one.) Those angling for a more leisurely swimmingsunning-stunning-sights kind of afternoon on the water would do well to book a long afternoon on the Ugly Anne.

A former lobster boat hauled down from Maine, this one-of-a-kind gal — named in honor of the former owner’s wife, known to be wicked grumpy in the mornings — will cruise you and yours from Mackinac Island or Mackinaw City for a 5-ish-hour tour through Les Cheneaux, the North’s notoriously beautiful array of islands, mostly uninhabited, that are home to quiet coves, rocky inlets, and gasp-worthy boathouses galore.

Your destination: historic Hessel, in the Upper Peninsula, where a short stroll from the docks will bring you to the Islander Bar for cocktails and a meal (not included in the $1,500 day-trip price).

If that’s a little steep for your group, consider the Bois Blanc Island Cruise; same departure options, different but equally beautiful island setting for cocktails and a meal, and only $850-$900 for the 4.5-hour tour. Custom tours are available, too. For more information, visit mackinawtour.com, email info@mackinawtour.com, or call (231) 436-5094.

Breathtaking Destination

BIG BEAUTIFUL (& GUIDED) BACKPACKING Manistee, Pictured Rocks, North Manitou & More You can’t stop time, but you certainly can slow it way, way down if you and your BFFs unplug for a few days of backpacking in some of northern Michigan’s greatest outdoors: through the high rolling hills bordering the grand Manistee River; into the backcountry of that pristine pine-meadow-and-beach dot in Lake Michigan, North Manitou Island; across the rocky cliffs and coast of Pictured Rocks; or on the big-remote daddy of them all, Isle Royale. Seem like more than what your outdoorsy but not ultra-experienced buds can handle? No problem. Hook up with The High Five Tribe to plan the trek and equip and lead your crew.

One or more of their fun (not intense!) and well-trained guides — think: National Outdoor Leadership School training in Patagonia, wilderness first aid, wilderness firstresponder certification, and more — lead ladies-only and mixed groups on 3- to 5-day backpacking trips to some of the sweetest spots Up North each glorious summer and fall.

In addition to the upcoming scheduled treks (which start at $325 per person), High Five Tribe will also work with clients to customize a trip for up to 10. No, your guides won’t carry your packs, but yes, they’ll ensure you’ll get where you’re going, safely and hassle-free, so that you can focus on what matters: sleeping under the stars, sharing dinner around the campfire (or camp stove), and bonding your brains out with your bestever friends, in some of the best-ever places. Learn more at thehighfivetribe.com.

Dreams Do Come True After taking in the spectacular views of Grand Traverse Bay with the one you love ~ in a breathtaking setting on the most beautiful day of your life ~ we believe that dreams do come true.

Now Booking for 2022 | bayviewweddings.com | (231-645-2732 | Located minutes from downtown Traverse City, Michigan

Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 15

Payson Wolfe — whose name means “I leave this thing behind” — as a young man.

Wolfe, with an unidentified boy, in Cross Village, where he would live until his death, in 1900, at age 68.

Love & War

The story of Native American Patriot and Civil War Sharpshooter Payson Wolfe

By Mark Smith “Attached to Colonel DeLand’s First Michigan Sharpshooters was a company of civilized Indians who won fame at Spottsylvania. On that bloody 9th of May, 1864, the Federal line, advancing with a cheer, met the charging enemy in a dense thicket of pines, and in the handto-hand struggle that followed, the Union forces were slowly forced back. The First Michigan Sharpshooters was doing its best to hold the ground. Every now and then the Confederates would fight their way up to the battery and lay hold of the cannon to turn them upon the Union forces. But to touch one of those guns meant instant death at the hands of the sharpshooters.

In this desperate encounter, the little band of Indians was commanded by Lieutenant Graveraet ... Under a perfect storm of lead their number seemed to melt away, but there was no sign of faltering. Sheltering behind trees, they poured volley after volley at the zealous foe, and above the din of battle their war-whoop rang out with every volley. At dusk the ammunition gave out, but with the others the Indians ran forward at the shout of “Give them steel boys!” from the twice wounded but still plucky Colonel Deland.” — firsthand account of part of the fierce Battle of Spotslyvania, in Virginia, May 1964.

The “little band of civilized Indians” who fought so bravely and fearlessly in Spotslyvania — and so many other battles during America’s Civil War — was Company K, made up mainly of Odawa,

Ojibwe, and Potawatomi Native Americans who enlisted in 1863.

It is, perhaps, a little-known fact that more than 26,000 Native Americans fought in the American Civil War, on both sides.

Those who fought with the Confederate Army might have seen their participation as a chance to seek revenge on a federal government that had not honored its treaties; those who fought for the Union had other reasons for joining.

Native Americans to take part. Recruiting drives were held here in the county, and bonuses of $50 were offered by the State of Michigan for those who enlisted. Once enlisted, soldiers received $25 more and, once mustered, $75.00 from the federal government. Wages were $13 per month, so there were certainly solid economic reasons to enlist.

However, it is fair to say that the motivations of the Native American

Fighting in a land that was once theirs, alongside men who once were their enemies, was a way to gain respect and perhaps strengthen the Indians’ claims to preserving their remaining land and culture.

Payson Wolfe, of Northport, Michigan, was one of the Native American soldiers of Company K. On August 1, 1863, he and Charles Allen left on the propeller ship Tonawanda to join the First Michigan Sharpshooters, a volunteer regiment that was the largest unit of American Indians serving with the Union armies east of the Mississippi River.

Pre-War Rewind Prior to 1863, Native Americans were not encouraged to enlist, but as the war wore on, and more and more white men died, the Union began recruiting more

16 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

recruits were not necessarily the same as the motivations of the whites. Fighting in a land that was once theirs, alongside men who once were their enemies, was a way to gain respect and perhaps strengthen the Indians’ claims to preserving their remaining land and culture. The appeals of a good wage, a square meal and money left over to send home were important, too.

But there was another motivation for Native American men like Allen and Wolfe to join the fray: their strong anti-slavery sentiments. It’s clear from letters Charles Allen sent home that he, like Wolfe, was a practicing Christian. It is also clear

that both Allen and Wolfe had heard the abolitionist sentiment woven into the fabric of many of the sermons of Wolfe’s father-in-law, Reverend George N. Smith.

In fact, Smith made sure to provide Bibles in English and Ojibwe to the local soldiers going off to war; as reported by Colonel R.T. Bennett, one of Smith’s gifted Bibles was found in Virginia, following the 1864 Battle of the Wilderness: “We fought a regiment of Indians. As we drove them back, one Indian took refuge behind a tree. We saw him and supposed he would surrender,” recalled Thomas J. Watkins of the Fourteenth North Carolina Infantry. “As we moved on, he shot our color bearer. Many turned and fired, riddling him with bullets.

The Indians fought bravely in the wood. When driven into the open they did not again fire on us, but ran like deer. We captured not one of them.” The Confederates failed to capture any of the retreating Indian Union soldiers after the 1864 Battle of the Wilderness in Virginia, but Colonel R.T. Bennett recounted: “Among the captures [objects] were copies of the Bible in the Ojibwa language.”

Devastating Warriors Sharpshooters like Wolfe were highly trained and effective warriors who could turn the tide of battle. They had exceptional skills yet still suffered from discrimination.

According to Dr. Clarissa W. Confer, “Fellow soldiers often made uncomplimentary remarks, generally sticking to well-worn stereotypes of ‘desperate’ or drunken men. Yet the Indian sharpshooters proved themselves time and time again in the

grueling Virginia battles of the Wilderness, Spotsylvania, and Petersburg. After the illfated Battle of the Crater during the siege of Petersburg, survivors recounted how a group of mortally wounded Indian soldiers chanted a traditional death song before finally succumbing, inspiring others with their valor.”

Starting from “less than zero” in the eyes of the whites, the Indian recruits proved themselves to be fearless allies, crack shots, and devastating warriors.

Here in Northport, the Anishinaabeg also sought to distinguish themselves from the Dakota, who in 1862 were involved in a fierce war with the U.S. government in nearby Minnesota. This pressure manifested itself in Northport, as evidenced by the diary of Reverend George N. Smith: “14 Sept Sabbath Went to Onumunese Ville. [Chief] Ahgosa was there all day. At the close of the meeting I talked to the men about the fright [Dakota Uprising which began on August 17, 1862]. Ahgosa said the Indians all felt bad about, would have a council at N.P. Tuesday PM to assure the whites of their friendship.

16 Sept PM had a large council at our school house in which the Indians gave the Whites every possible assurance of their friendship. It was a very large council considerable many white also were in, also some women.”

It seems the local tribes were at pains to show that they were “loyal” Indians and took much effort to reassure the townspeople of Northport of that fact. So when they got the chance to enlist for the cause in 1863, they did not hesitate.

A Chance to Start Over As for Wolfe himself, it seems clear that his enlistment was also a chance for a new beginning in his life. Eleven years earlier, Wolfe had married Mary Jane Smith, on July 31st, 1851. Wolfe was 19; Mary Jane was not quite 16. At the time of his 1863 enlistment, Wolfe was 30 years old and was father to several children with Mary Jane. At no time during their 11-year marriage had there been enough income in the household to sustain a comfortable existence.

The marriage of Wolfe and Mary Jane was remarkable for the fact that Mary Jane was white and Wolfe was Indian. Marriages of white men to Indian women were common, but the reverse was very rare. Mary Jane was

the daughter of Reverend George Nelson Smith, missionary to the Native Americans.

According to Rev. Smith’s diaries, neither his wife, Arvilla, nor Wolfe’s mother, Kinequa, approved of the wedding, and Kinequa refused to even attend.

In marrying Mary Jane, young Wolfe was caught between two worlds. Part of him was still drawn to the hijinks and occasional drinking exploits of his boyhood friends as well as the traditional seasonal activities of hunting, fishing, and trapping; the more “respectable” demands of his role — as the settled husband, father, and householder/ provider — were harder to achieve. Wolfe went to war to prove himself, support his growing family, and make a new start.

In a touching letter home to Mary Jane, dated January 16, 1864, Wolfe makes clear that he intends to make good on the challenges ahead and apologizes for any past failings on his part: “I like to hear you say or write you are doing the best you can, I wish you happiness all the while. My dear wife if I had wished otherwise I would not have left you, for the good of you and our children. I have undertaken such a work as this now, and not that I should be permitted to good reputation before men. When I know you to be lonely or getting sick of me, I also get uneasy for you. You know not dear wife how much I love you. I say the truth, I love you. Should I see anything I could Possibly do for you in this world, I would do it. And now although I would have been very glad to stay with you at home, to see me every day, and know that my mother loves me very much, for I am her only son living, my brothers all died long ago … .

And although I knew that I should have to put a piece of a wood under my head for a pillow and have to sleep on a bare floor or ground. All this did not stop me, I determined to go for the good of you. My dear wife, if you think over this, you will see.

And you well know, that no person led me to enlist, it was my own will that brought me here … These are my constant thoughts.

If I should meet you again, I shall not be as I have been before …

I give you my best respects & love to Father and Mother, and Annie. Also [illegible word] my own mother for me and children, kiss them for me.

I am one who loves you and your devoted husband and a soldier.

Payson Wolfe Capture & Imprisonment Clearly, Wolfe intended to please his wife and had remorse for whatever past failings he may have been guilty of, pledging to do better.

It is astonishing Wolfe lived to have the chance. On June 17, 1864, he was captured in Petersburg, Virginia, by Confederates and sent to the infamous Andersonville prisonerof-war camp, in Georgia. A veritable hell on earth, the open stockade was overcrowded to four times its capacity, with such inadequate food and water supplies and conditions so unsanitary that nearly one-third of the 45,000 Union prisoners held there died during the 14 months Andersonville operated, most of scurvy and dysentery, many of starvation.

During Wolfe’s six-month imprisonment at Andersonville, his health rapidly declined. His captain, James S. DeLand, later remembered, “He was attacked with diarrhea first and then with scurvy, his gums swelled, a part of his teeth fell out, his legs & arms swelled to a monstrous size, his muscles contracted badly so that it was difficult to move at all.”

One of Wolfe’s fingers also became infected with gangrene, and the use of his left arm never fully recovered.

Against all odds, Wolfe survived Andersonville. Just before Christmas 1864, he returned home — seemingly a shadow of his former self, malnourished, and halfbroken. He recounted his ordeal to his father-in-law, Rev. George N. Smith, Sr., who recorded this in his diary: “December 20 1864: Payson arrived about 2 PM, a paroled prisoner. was paroled at Savannah & 1100 prisoners took the Steam Ship Constitution & were landed at Annapolis. they were furnished a suit of clothes on going on board the ship & another suit when they landed at Annapolis. he says they suffered terribly while prisoners —- going sometimes 2 & 3 days & a number of times 4 days with out eating at all — men robbed of their blankets & overcoats & lived & slept in the open weather, their bed the ground, their covering the rain -— water sometimes 4 inches deep where they had to lie.

All the family took supper and with us eve.

“December 30 1864: Payson, Mary and the children spent the eve here, had supper with us. He tells shocking stories of their suffering

while prisoners -— he says when men got so weak they could not keep their rations on their stomachs -— would vomit up beans as soon as swallowed & others would rush to eat the vomit with greediness & often the boiled rice would be alive with full grown maggots — he has eat it so — was obliged to or starve.”

Despite his experience, Wolfe returned again to war, this time recruiting three fellow Native Americans, each from Leelanau Township, to join him: John Jacko, age 20; Aaron Sahgahnahquato, age 21; and John Kinewahwanipi, age 20. All three of these new recruits had relatives who had been killed or captured in the war, suggesting family or community motives for enlisting, rather than merely the inducement of bounty payments.

(Jacko and Sahgahnahquato would survive.

Kinewahwanipi would die of disease in Virginia three weeks after enlisting. Charles Allen, who left with Wolfe on his first tour of duty, died at age 19 from battle wounds received in the Battle of the Wilderness.)

Wolfe eventually returned from the war for good in June 1865, having done his duty with honor and distinction but little in the way of recompense. After what appears to have been much red tape and delay, Wolfe ultimately received a small pension for his disabilities. But his story has no happy ending.

Like many veterans who sacrificed themselves for their country, when Wolfe finally returned home to stay, he was beset by many struggles. Coming home broken — and broke — to make a new life with his family was not easy. He and Mary Jane never quite found their footing and ultimately divorced. Wolfe finished out his days living with his mother in Cross Village.

Payson Wolfe, Civil War veteran and former husband of Mary Jane Smith, died on Dec. 7, 1900, in Cross Village and is buried there.

Read More Want to learn more about the 1st

Michigan Sharpshooters and Native Americans in the Civil War? Check out this story at www.northernexpress. com to connect to the sources Mark Smith used to craft this article — or visit the Omena Historical Society, whose efforts and archives bring historic tales like these to life. www. omenahistoricalsociety.org

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Kristen Rivard Realtor™ 231.590.9728

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Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 17

apr 03

saturday HOPPIN’ DOWN

THE BUNNY TRAIL: Hop on down to River Street in Downtown Elk Rapids. Stop into participating shops to find season items or complete tasks to be entered to win a “Hunny Bunny” Gift Basket. The Easter Bunny will be hopping by River St. from 12-2pm. Get your picture taken with the bunny! Free. facebook.com/downtownelkrapids ----------------------------------EASTER TREATS: 10-11am. The East Jordan Lion’s Club & the Easter Bunny will be handing out Easter treats in Sportsman’s Park, East Jordan while supplies last.

----------------------------------FREE EASTER EGG HUNT: 11am-noon, Blaine Christian Church, Arcadia. For children up to age 11 years old. To keep everyone safe, the plastic Easter eggs will only contain pre-packaged candy.

Masks for children & adults will be required and, weather permitting, the egg hunt as well as story time will be outside. cca.frankfort-elberta.com/EvtListing.aspx ?class=B&dbid2=MIFRANK&&date=202 10403 ----------------------------------BOWLING DOWN MAIN STREET 2021: 12-2pm, Intersection of State & Main streets, Harbor Springs. The Lyric will be playing “Despicable Me 3” prior to bowling at 10:30am. This will be a free viewing; first come, first served for the 100 available seats. Johan’s will offer free hot cocoa & donuts to kids. Rocking Horse Toy Company will give away a free grab gift. harborspringschamber. com/events/details/bowling-down-mainstreet-2021-8056 ----------------------------------EASTER AT THE MOUNTAIN: 12-4pm, Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. Onslope Easter Egg Hunt: Look for Easter eggs hidden on the slopes for a prize.

Redeem your egg at the Park at Water’s Edge. Jellybean Jar: Guess how many jellybeans are in the jar at the Park at Water’s Edge. crystalmountain.com/event/ easter-at-the-mountain ----------------------------------28TH ANNUAL EASTER EGG HUNT: 2-3pm, East Park, downtown Charlevoix.

Free for children up to 10 years old. Wear a mask & practice social distancing. business.charlevoix.org/events/details/easter-egg-hunt-04-04-2020-12870 -----------------------------------

THE PROMISE: 3pm, New Hope Community Church, Williamsburg. A powerful musical drama of the life of Christ from birth to resurrection. Featuring a cast & crew of over 200 people. First come, first served as the capacity is limited. It will also be live-streamed at newhope.cc.

Free.

apr 05

MONDAY TADL VIRTUAL

apr 06

TUESDAY TECH TUESDAY:

MAKERFEST: 4:30-5pm. Held via Grand Traverse Area Children’s Garden, TC. View STEAM & Making activities from partner organizations who exhibited at past MakerFests. Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom. us/j/82640236747 Facebook Live link: @TADLKids.

EXOLAB 8: 4:30-5pm. Explore space science with Traverse Area District Library. Held via Facebook Live. facebook.com/ events/106148474751372 ----------------------------------COFFEE HOURS WITH STATE SEN. WAYNE SCHMIDT, R-TC: 11am-noon, Shirley’s Cafe, Mancelona. For constituents throughout the 37th Senate District. senatorwayneschmidt.com ----------------------------------HOT TOPICS - EMMET COUNTY HOUSING CRISIS & WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT: 11am. Held via Remo. Featuring Emily Meyerson, coordinator of the Emmet County Housing Ready Program of Little Traverse Bay Housing Partnership. Register. Free. petoskeychamber. com/events/details/hot-topics-emmetcounty-housing-crisis-and-what-we-cando-about-it-24054 ----------------------------------THE BREAD LADY!: 1:30pm. A Health & Wellness: Live Your Best Life program.

Held via Zoom. Meet The Bread Lady, Rachael Beckwith, who has a home-based bakery in Lake Ann. Rachael bakes small-batch artisan style breads, cookies, specialty muffins, & other dessert treats.

She will show you how to make focaccia, a healthy & traditional Italian flatbread. To register, email: jransom@tadl.org & you will receive a confirmation email with the details needed to join this Zoom event.

----------------------------------AAUW TC EVENT: 5:30pm. “Performing

april

03-11 send your dates to: events@traverseticker.com

An art exhibit for all women of all ages, talents, and media: “Soul Sisters” runs through April 16 at Ramsdell Regional Center for the Arts in Manistee. It reflects on the last year during the lockdown and separation from families, when a lot of people found comfort in creating. ramsdelltheatre.org

Empowerment: An Ethnomusicological Study of Global Children’s Rights, Senegalese Childhood, and Musical Participation.” Lynne Stallings, CUNY graduate student & AAUW fellow, will discuss her dissertation & how women’s & girls’ rights have affected her research. Held via Zoom. Register. Free. traversecityareami.aauw.net ----------------------------------TCNEWTECH - VIRTUAL PITCH NIGHT:

6pm. Catch Software LLC, Ionburst Cloud, & Xperiences will have five minutes to pitch to an online audience of investors, city and government stakeholders, local tech professionals, media, and fellow entrepreneurs. The audience will vote for the best pitch, & the winner will take home a $500 cash prize. eventbrite. com/e/tcnewtech-pitch-event-march2-2021-tickets-139999848315 -----------------------------------

HAPPY HOUR DRINK SPECIALS Tues - 4-8pm: The Pocket FROM 9pm-1am:OPEN-6PM Kung Fu Rodeo

OF YOU Trivia nite Trivia nite •AGAIN! • 7-9pm 7-9pm All you can eat perch

FRIDAY FISH FRY FRIDAY FISH FRY FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS All can eat All you youFOR can ALL eat perch perch FOOD && DRINK SPECIALS FOOD Sporting DRINKEvents!

SPECIALS FOR FOR ALL ALL

Hours Mon-Thurs 2pm-10pm in the can night - $1 domestic, Wed - Get itFri-Sun $3 craft-noon-10pm w/DJ JR

HAPPY HOUR:

Daily 4-7 HAPPY HOUR: HAPPY HOUR: Friday 4-9 Daily 4-7 Daily 4-7Day Sunday All Friday Friday 4-9 4-9 231-922-7742 Sunday Sunday All All Day Day

231-941-2276 Sporting Events!

Sporting Events!

121 S. Union St. • TC. 121 S. Union St. • TC. www.dillingerspubtc.com 231-941-2276 231-941-2276 231-922-7742 www.dillingerspubtc.com 231-922-7742 121 121 S. S. Union Union St. St. •• TC. TC. 121 121 S. S. Union Union St. St. •• TC. TC. 18 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly www.dillingerspubtc.com www.dillingerspubtc.com www.dillingerspubtc.com www.dillingerspubtc.com

ODAWA & THEIR CONNECTION TO WATER:

7pm. Held via Zoom. Online presentation

by Eric Hemenway. Register. Free. ncmclifelonglearning.com/event-4192357

apr 07

BRINGING NATURE TO YOUR LANDSCAPE: 6:30pm. Zoom presentation.

Mon March 16- $5 martinis, $5 domestic beer pitcher, $10 craft beer pitcher.

THURSDAY Trivia nite 7-9pm GREAT TO •SEE ALL THURSDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY FISH FRY

Gardeners interested in backyard conservation can learn more at the meeting of the Master Gardener Association of Northwest Michigan. Cheryl Gross will present steps gardeners can take to provide habitat & food for beneficial insects & birds, improve soil & landscape with native plants. Free for MGANM members; $5 donation requested for non-members. mganm.org/mganm-events -----------------------------------

Mon April 5th - Jukebox Tues April 6th Fri March 20 - Buckets of Beer USS Open Micstarting Comedyat $8 (2-8pm) Happy Hour: The Chris Michels Band Then: The Isaac Ryder Band Thurs -$2 off all drinks and $2 Labatt drafts w/DJ Ricky T

9thRyder - SP3Band (No Covers) Sat March 21 -Fri TheApril Isaac

Sat AprilMarch 10th 22- SP3 Sunday Sun April 11th - Karaoke KARAOKE ( 10pm-2am)

941-1930 downtown TC check us out at unionstreetstationtc.net

Y TUESDA TRIVIA TIO A P ON THE PM 7-9

WEDNESDAY

THE IMPACT OF COVID-19 ON AGRICULTURE IN LEELANAU COUNTY: Noon.

The League of Women Voters Leelanau County invites you to participate

TO-GO OR DERS AVAILABL E 231-2524157

Sunday-Saturday Noon-10pm (kitchen open noon-9pm)

DRINK SPECIALS (3-6 Monday-Friday): $2 well drinks, $2 domestic drafts, $2.50 domestic bottles, $5 Hornitos margarita DAILY FOOD SPECIALS (3-6pm): Monday - $1 chips/salsa Tuesday - $1 enchiladas Wednesday - $5 potato basket (fries or tots) Thursday - $5 hot pretzels w/ beer cheese Friday - $5 fried veggies (cauliflower or mushrooms) ent Fri 9th - Don Swan & The 4 Horsemen tertainm Patio en -9:30) Sat 10th - Stonehengz (6:00

Noon - 10pm - 221 E State St. downtown TC

in this virtual educational forum. The League’s Farm Labor and Immigration Task Force will present a panel discussion. Register in advance. Free. LWVLeelanau.org ----------------------------------THRIVE 45 NONPROFIT ROUNDTABLE & NETWORKING EVENT: 6pm. Held via

REMO. This free educational & networking event will help connect young professionals with area nonprofits. Learn about community issues & how you can help support their missions. Register. petoskeychamber.com/events/details/thrive45-nonprofit-roundtable-and-networkingevent-24051

apr 08

THURSDAY

MAPLE SYRUP PRODUCTION TOUR: 2pm, Maple

Moon Sugarbush & Winery, Petoskey. Christi Petersen, owner of Maple Moon Sugarbush & Winery, will show you the start to finish process of pure maple syrup production. You will also get free samples. Tour is limited to 20 people. Register. Free. ncmclifelonglearning.com/event-4197952 -----------------------------------

NWS PRESENTS: AN EVENING WITH KARLA CORNEJO VILLAVICENCIO: 7pm.

The National Writers Series presents an evening of virtual conversation with author Karla Cornejo Villavicensio about her critically-acclaimed book, “The Undocumented Americans.” She is the first undocumented finalist for a National Book Award. Her book was also named

by Barack Obama as one of his favorite books of 2020 & was long listed for the Porchlight Business Book Award. Guest host will be Myriam Gurba, editor-in-chief of “Tasteful Rude” & the author of the memoir “Mean,” a New York Times Editors’ Choice. Free (donations accepted). nationalwritersseries.org/upcomingevents ----------------------------------OFFICIATING HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS WITH JOE MALEC: 7pm. Learn all about

becoming an MHSAA official with Joe Malec of Top O’Michigan Officials Association. Register. Held online. ncmclifelonglearning.com/event-4155210 ----------------------------------WALLOON LAKE READS: THE NICK ADAMS STORIES: 7pm. A virtual discussion

of “The Northern Woods” with Don Daiker, professor emeritus of English at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. Advanced registration required. walloonlakemi. com/grab-a-book-and-join-walloon-lakereads-the-nick-adams-stories

apr 09

FRIDAY

NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S ECONOMY: Noon. Matt

McCauley, CEO of Networks Northwest, leads an organization that tracks the local economy & works to facilitate employment for many jobseekers in the area. Hear the latest unemployment numbers & what is being done to help businesses & government keep the economy strong. Register. Free. ncmclifelonglearning.com/event-4171105 -----------------------------------

WINDY CITY LINE UP: TORONZO CANNON: Live recording. Chicago bluesman

Toronza Cannon is a guitarist, vocalist, singer songwriter & city bus driver. Can-

non debuted with his 2016 album, “The Chicago Way.” His latest release is “The Preacher, The Politician Or The Pimp.”

Zoom discussion, 7pm; YouTube premiere, 7:30pm. dennosmuseum.org

apr 10

SATURDAY

GOPHERWOOD CONCERTS PRESENTS AURA KUBAT: 7pm. Streamed

over the Internet. gopherwoodconcerts.org ----------------------------------MONEY SMART WEEK: Free virtual programs presented by the Traverse Area District Library, April 10-17. Today features “Talking Cents”: 15 minutes of easy strategies & simple tools you can use to start important conversations about money in a fun & comfortable way. tadl.org/ event/money-smart-week/

apr 11

SUNDAY MONEY

SMART

WEEK:

Free virtual programs presented by the Traverse Area District Library, April 10-17. Today features “Savings: A Little Can Make a Big Difference”: 15 minutes to review how even a very modest savings cushion can be associated with major life improvements. tadl.org/event/moneysmart-week/ -----------------------------------

VIRTUAL TOWN HALL ON REDISTRICTING PROCESS: 3pm. The League of Women

Voters of Leelanau County & Traverse Area Community Media are holding a virtual town hall event to educate Michigan voters on the Michigan Independent Citizens Redistricting Commission’s process in drawing new legislative & congressional maps for federal & state house representatives & the state senate. Free.

LWVLeelanau.org

ONGOING

VIRTUAL 2021 BAYSHORE MARATHON REGISTRATION: Featuring a marathon,

half marathon & 10K. Register. Event held on May 29. bayshoremarathon.org -----------------------------------

ICEMAN COMETH VIRTUAL TRAINING CHALLENGE: Ride 500, 1,000, or 3,000

miles to prepare for the 2021 Bell’s Iceman Cometh Challenge presented by Trek. Each distance will have its own exclusive Strava Club for tips & support, with all entrants eligible for prizes each month. Runs March 5 - Oct. 30. Registration ends Sept. 30. $25. registericeman. com/Race/Events/MI/TraverseCity/Icem anComethChallenge#eventGroup-7424 -----------------------------------

DISABILITY NETWORK MEN’S GROUP: ZOOM MEETINGS: Mondays, 10am

through April. disabilitynetwork.org/ events -----------------------------------

DISABILITY NETWORK PEER ADVOCACY GROUP: ZOOM MEETINGS: Held on

Thursdays at 2pm through April. disabilitynetwork.org/events -----------------------------------

DISABILITY NETWORK WOMEN’S GROUP, SHARING HERSTORY: ZOOM MEETINGS:

Mondays, 11am through April. disabilitynetwork.org/events -----------------------------------

BELLAIRE WINTER FARMERS MARKET:

Held on Fridays from 10am-2pm. Locat-

ed at both Bee Well & Terrain in downtown Bellaire.

-----------------------------------

BOYNE CITY INDOOR FARMERS MARKET:

Saturdays, 9am-noon through May 15.

City Hall Lobby, Boyne City. petoskeyarea.com/event-detail/boyne-city-indoorfarmers-market-1 ----------------------------------INDOOR FARMERS MARKET: The Village at GT Commons, The Mercato, TC. Saturdays through April, 10am-2pm. thevillagetc.com/indoor-farmers-market-7-2-2-2-2-2

ART

“DON’T MISS THE BOAT”: Harbor Springs

History Museum. Presented by the Harbor Springs Area Historical Society. This exhibit highlights the historic ferries of Little Traverse Bay & features original watercolors & giclees by local artist William Talmadge Hall. Runs through the summer of 2021. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am3pm. harborspringshistory.org/historymuseum-exhibits -----------------------------------

100 DAYS OF CREATIVE EMPOWERMENT:

Held every Mon. through May 3 from 5:30-7pm. A live online class. Register.

Each week a local artist will share their skills to ignite your creativity. Engage in painting, iPhone photography, comic book creation & more. gaylordarts.org -----------------------------------

EXHIBIT: SPOTLIGHT ON INNOVATION:

Charlevoix Circle of Arts. The annual regional high school student art exhibit.

See unique works from 11th & 12th grade budding artists from Charlevoix County & surrounding area. Featuring scholarship awards from Kendall College & CCA. Pick up kid’s ‘Take & Make’ art kit with each exhibit. charlevoixcircle.org/exhibits-2021 ----------------------------------MELONIE STEFFES EXHIBIT: Higher Art Gallery, TC. HART welcomes local artist Melonie Steffes in her second solo exhibit with eight new oil paintings. “Undomesticating - Leaving Behind the Things of Man.” Show is open online in the virtual shop as well as in person during gallery hours. higherartgallery.com ----------------------------------NORTHPORT PLEIN AIR CALL FOR ARTISTS: Through April 10. See web site for

info. northportartsassociation.org/callfor-artists-applications -----------------------------------

BLOW UP II: INFLATABLE CONTEMPORARY ART: Runs through May 16 at Den-

nos Museum Center, NMC, TC. This exhibit explores the imaginative ways that air is used as a tool to create large-scale sculptures. The artists translate everyday materials and imagery into largerthan-life, yet nearly lighter-than-air art.

Curated by Carrie Lederer & organized

by Bedford Gallery at the Lesher Center for the Arts in Walnut Creek, CA. dennosmuseum.org ----------------------------------SOUL SISTERS EXHIBIT: Ramsdell Regional Center for the Arts, Manistee. An all women art show. Runs March 12 – April 16. ci.ovationtix.com/35295/production/1039657 -----------------------------------

WALKING THROUGH: STEVE CATTIN, STEWART ALLISON MCFERRAN, NICK WALSH: Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. This

exhibition features over 60 works of art including bright, graphic, abstract acryl-

ic paintings & several large scale wood sculptures. Runs through April 9. Closed on Sundays. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org -----------------------------------

CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, PETOSKEY:

- “KIDS ON COMMUNITY”: Youth artists were invited to submit artwork in response to the theme of “Community.”

Fun, thoughtful & creative interpretations

by Michigan youth (grades 3 - 12) are included in this online image gallery. Runs through June 30, 2021. crookedtree.org/ event/ctac-petoskey-ctac-online/kidscommunity-online-exhibit - THE COLLECTIVE IMPULSE - ONLINE EXHIBIT: Runs through Aug. Featuring the

work of artists Ruth Bardenstein, Jean Buescher & Susan Moran. The three artists met in Ann Arbor &, over time, have nurtured both personal & creative connections. They regularly share & critique one another’s work & together visit gallery & museum exhibitions. The exhibition was hosted at the Crooked Tree Arts Center - Petoskey from Sept. 21 through Dec. 18, 2020. This online publication shares work from the exhibition. crookedtree. org/event/ctac-petoskey-ctac-traversecity-ctac-online/collective-impulse-online

- CTAC’S 19TH ANNUAL YOUNG WRITERS EXPOSITION: CALL FOR YOUNG WRITERS: Elementary, middle & high school

students who attend schools served by the Char-Em ISD (or home school students in Charlevoix or Emmet counties) may submit one work of poetry, prose, or one of each. Winning writers of all age groups receive a medal, journal, & McLean & Eakin Booksellers gift card, while also having their work published in the digital Petoskey News-Review.

Middle & high school winning writers receive monetary prizes as well. All first place writers get their work printed in the upcoming edition of the Walloon Writers Review. The Little Traverse Literary Guild will give two $500 “Best in Show” awards – the Hanna-Renkes/Jan Smith Literary Award – to high school students for poetry & prose. Work must be submitted online by a parent or teacher between April 6-19 at 5 pm. The submission page is located under Teacher Resources on the Petoskey portion of CTAC’s website.

Winning writers will be announced May 7 via CTAC’s social media pages.

CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, TC:

- “STAY SAFE” MASKS EXHIBIT: Over 200 paper mache masks will be on display.

This is extended from the Ramsdell Regional Center for the Arts in Manistee.

Since launching in the fall last year during the quarantine, over 1,000 high school students, families & individuals from the Grand Traverse area & nationally have now decorated masks in this growing public art project. It will run April 1-18.

Open from 11am-4pm Tuesdays through Fridays, & 10am-2pm on Saturdays. crookedtree.org - YOUTH ART EXHIBITION 2021 (VIRTUAL & IN-PERSON): The Crooked Tree Arts

Center is celebrating the work of K-12 art students & educators in the Grand Traverse region. Artwork selected for an award will be on display at Crooked Tree Arts Center, TC, April 1-17 during gallery hours. crookedtree.org/event/ctac-petos-

Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 19

key-ctac-traverse-city-ctac-online/youthart-virtual-and-person-exhibit-traverse GLEN ARBOR ARTS CENTER, GLEN ARBOR: WE REQUEST THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY

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- EXHIBIT: JOAN RICHMOND | PAPER + SCISSORS + GLUE = NEW COLLAGES: Held in Lobby Gallery. An exhibition of 12 new works is on display through April 22. Richmond is more widely known for her distinctive, spare gouache paintings depicting land- & waterscapes. This exhibit includes more than 60 pieces she created during COVID-19 isolation. The GAAC is open Mon. through Sat., 11am– 2pm. GlenArborArt.org - CALL-FOR-ENTRIES: EVERYDAY OBJECTS EXHIBITION: Runs Aug. 27 – Oct.

28. Online applications for this juried show may be submitted through July 15.

It is open to 2D & 3D objects in a wide variety of media. The GAAC is open Mon. through Sat., 11am–2pm, but will be closed between exhibitions from March 26 – April 1. glenarborart.org/artists/callsfor-entry/everyday-objects-prospectus

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play: 41 works in both 2D & 3D by northern Michigan artists & beyond. The online version of the exhibition is also available for viewing beginning April 2. Business hours: 11am–2pm, Mon. through Sat. glenarborart.org/events/exhibit2021-members-create

Deadline for Dates information is Tuesday for the following week.

the ADViCE GOddESS The Blurt Locker Stalk Of Shame

BY Amy Alkon

Q

: I’m a 34-year-old woman seeking a relationship. Last week, I went to dinner with a man. We had an instantaneous connection and ended up having sex. I haven’t heard from him since. I’ve always believed sex on a first date doesn’t matter if there’s a connection. Now I’m worried I moved too quickly. I’m tempted to call him. Any advice on what to say?

— Disappointed

A

: Chasing a man into wanting you is usually about as successful as trying to split atoms with small household tools.

You may believe sex on the first date “doesn’t matter,” but our genes (the source of our psychology) have not heard of the women’s movement and do not drink out of an ‘’ovaries before brovaries!” coffee mug. Women and men are more alike than different, physically and psychologically, but the physical differences we do have (like how only women get pregnant) led to the evolution of psychological sex differences.

For example, evolutionary psychologists Martie Haselton and David Buss find that heterosexual men and women having sex with someone for the first time experience differing “affective shifts” — shifts in feelings — afterward.

In the afterglow, women felt more emotionally attached and more attracted to their partner (a “positive affective shift”). These commitmentfostering feelings align with how, for a woman, sex “signals the possibility of pregnancy” (and daddy shoes in need of filling).

On the male side, immediately after the first sexperience with a new woman, men who’ve had a lot of sex partners (six-plus as college undergrads, suggesting a short-term sexual strategy) experienced a “negative affective shift”: finding a woman ”less physically attractive and sexy.” (This effect didn’t show up in men with fewer sex partners or in women, no matter how many sex partners they’d had.)

Haselton speculates that for hookupmeister men, the negative affective shift signals game over — sex goal achieved — and pushes them to move on lest they get “entangled in an unwanted long-term relationship.”

If this guy wanted to see you again, he’d be blowing up your phone. To help yourself accept that, recycle him from a current goal to an ongoing reminder: Whenever you might want more than a hookup with a particular guy, wait till he’s emotionally attached before having sex with him. How many dates, calls, and texts this takes will vary, but basically, a man needs to care about you enough to weather how your sex face makes you look like a mortally wounded hamster.

Q

: My boyfriend and I broke up during a nasty fight. I (rashly and immaturely) blurted out that we should just break up. He blurted out, “Fine!” and asked to stop talking for a while. Ugh. I still want to be with him. Dating coaches advise a “no contact” rule post-breakup (cutting off communication for 21 to 45 days). Do you agree? Is this a way to give him a chance to miss me, reset, and get back together in a healthy way?

— Distressed

A

: If you broke up by accident and still want to be with the person, there’s something you should do, and it isn’t spending a month and a half being all “My spirit animal is a 3,000-year-old crustacean fossilized in rock.”

Breaking up because you hit an impasse in an argument is like abandoning your apartment because your toilet’s clogged. Chances are you exploded because you “reasoned” with part of the brain not equipped for the job.

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman explains that our brain has two information-processing systems: System 1, our instinctive, fastresponding emotional system that jumps into action automatically; and System 2, our slowto-awaken reasoning system that we have to force to do its job.

System 1 (automatic emotion!) drove you to blurt your way into breaking up. Possibly getting back together takes hauling your System 2 reasoning out of bed and making it process whether you, as a couple, are irretrievably broken or just need to learn healthy conflict resolution techniques.

You resolve conflict not through fighting to win — hammering the other person until they give in — but through listening with an open mind: putting in the effort to understand and empathize and then working to solve problems as a we instead of a you versus me. (This takes practice, and psychologist John Gottman’s “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” is a helpful guide, but in the meantime, a clue: If the volume goes up, you’re doing it wrong.)

Since the guy was in a relationship with you until you accidentally blew it up, he probably cares about you and doesn’t need to be psychologically manipulated into wanting you with some “no contact” crapfest. Ultimately, if you love something and accidentally set it free, go after it and tell it you were an idiot: “If I’m gonna have fights about underwear used for a coffee table coaster, I want them to be with you.”

“Jonesin” Crosswords "Miss Statement" --don't worry, it's all here. by Matt Jones

ACROSS 1 46 was his veep 6 Gridlock problem 9 Abacus counters 14 “Go ___!”

15 “Dangerous Liaisons” name 16 “Don’t do that!”

17 T, A, or Fiesta, e.g.

19 Drops in the mailbox 20 Hydroxyl-bearing compound 21 Fort ___, N.J. 22 As a maximum 23 Go back in a stream, maybe 25 Nonprofit that now focuses on ages 50 and older 26 Certain caretaker of children 32 City regulator 35 Like some fails 36 “No Ordinary Love” singer 37 “My hands ___ tied” 38 Season with heavy rainfall 41 Address ender 42 Do no better 44 Asian country with no coastline 45 “Now I get it!”

47 Film that’s probably subtitled 50 “___ said ...”

51 Menlo Park name 55 Twelfth zodiacal sign 58 Pre-weekend day, for short 60 Smoke detector?

61 “The Oracle of ___” (Warren Buffett nickname) 62 Trait of trashy talking, perhaps 64 Madagascar mammal 65 “___ making sense?”

66 Super-___ 67 Expert 68 “___ voyage!”

69 “All I Want for Christmas ___”

DOWN 1 Bid 2 Kentucky frontiersman Daniel 3 Elevator button symbol 4 Time for a crisis 5 Convenience store device 6 Dame ___ Dench 7 “Don’t leave home without it” card, briefly 8 “Honi soit qui ___ y pense” 9 Casual eatery 10 Gives immunity to 11 Part of A.D. 12 Root beer brand 13 Pt. of GPS 18 Betting probabilities 22 Transmission repair company with a “beep beep” in its ads 24 “Cheers” regular 25 Short melodic solo 27 Rent payer 28 Salts source 29 Like some IPAs 30 Actress Falco 31 Sales agents 32 ___ Dingbats (picture-based font) 33 Double Stuf cookie 34 Handy 39 Gymnast Korbut and comedian Koch, for two 40 Old Domino’s mascot to “avoid” 43 Condiment in a packet 46 Really abominable 48 Words directly before “Radio” or “Media” 49 Bridal cover 52 Comedian Sales 53 “Bony” prefix 54 Beatles’ jacket style 55 Actress Negri of silent movies 56 Chatted online 57 Equivalent 58 Exclusionary anxiety acronym, and a hint to the four theme answers 59 Archaeological dig site 62 “Groovy” 63 1,501, to Nero

Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 21

lOGY

APR 05 - APR 11

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Playwright August Strindberg

(1849–1912) was a maverick innovator who loved to experiment with plot and language. One of his stories takes place in a dream and the hero is the Christ-like daughter of a Vedic god. He once said that he felt “an immense need to become a savage and create a new world.” Given your current astrological potentials, Aries, I suspect that might be an apt motto for you right now. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. There’s no need for you to become a savage. In fact, it’s better if you don’t. But the coming weeks will definitely be a good time to start creating a new world.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to

author Kahlil Gibran, “If we were all to sit in a circle and confess our sins, we would laugh at each other for lack of originality.” But I challenge you Scorpios to refute that theory in the coming days. For the sake of your sanity and health, you need to commit highly original sins—the more, the better.

APRIL FOOL! I lied. Save your novel, imaginative sinning for later. The truth is that now is an excellent time to explore the joyous and healthy practice of being extremely virtuous.

Imitate author Susan Sontag: “My idolatry: I’ve lusted after goodness. Wanting it here, now, absolutely, increasingly.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) The

coming months would be a great time to start your own university and then award yourself a PhD in Drugless Healing or Mathematical Reincarnation or Political Metaphysics—or any other subject you’d like to be considered an expert in. Hey, why not give yourself three PhDs and call yourself a Professor Emeritus? APRIL FOOL! I’m just joking. The coming months will indeed be an extremely favorable time to advance your education, but with real learning, not fake credentials.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): After his

Nirvana bandmate Kurt Cobain committed suicide, Capricorn drummer Dave Grohl was depressed for months. To cheer himself up, he wrote and recorded an album’s worth of songs, playing almost all the instruments himself: drums, lead guitar, rhythm guitar, bass, and vocals. I think you should try a similar spectacularly heroic solo task in the coming weeks. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s my true and actual advice: Now is a time when you should gather all the support and help and cooperation you can possibly garner for an interesting project.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Argentine

poet Alejandra Pizarnik told her psychoanalyst León Ostrov that if she were going to steal something, it would be “the façade of a certain collapsed house in a little town called Fontenay-aux-Roses [near Paris].” What was so special about this façade? Its windows were made of “magical” lilac-colored glass that was “like a beautiful dream.” In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you, too, to decide what marvel you would steal—and then go steal it! APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. Yes, definitely decide what you would steal—it’s important to give your imagination permission to be outrageous—but don’t actually steal it.

PISCES

(Feb 19-March 20): I’ve never understood the appeal of singer-songwriter Morrissey, especially since he began endorsing bigoted far-right politicians. However, I want to recommend that you adopt the attitude he once expressed in a letter to a friend. “It was a terrible blow to hear that you actually worked,” he wrote. “It’s so oldfashioned to work. I’d much rather lounge about the house all day looking fascinating.” Be like that in the coming weeks, Pisces! APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, you’d be making a silly mistake to lie around the house looking fascinating. It’s a highly favorable time for you to find ways to work harder and smarter.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Who says all

Tauruses are gentle, risk-avoidant, sensible, and reliable? Taurus author Mary MacLane (1861–1929), known as the “Wild Woman of Butte, Montana,” authored shocking, scandalous books. In I Await the Devil’s Coming, she testified, “I am not good. I am not virtuous. I am not generous. I am merely a

creature of intense passionate feeling. I feel—everything. It is my genius. It burns me like fire.” Can I convince you, Taurus, to make her your role model for the coming weeks? APRIL FOOL! I don’t think you should be EXACTLY like MacLane. Please leave out the part about “I am not good. I am not virtuous. I am not generous,” as well as the “I await the devil’s coming” part. But yes, do be a creature of intensely passionate feeling. Let your feelings be your genius, burning in you like a fire.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Poet Emily

Dickinson had a good sense of humor, so she was probably making a wry joke when she wrote, “The lovely flowers embarrass me. They make me regret I am not a bee.” But who knows? Maybe Emily was being a bit sincere, too. In any case, I advise you to make a list of all the things you regret not being—all the qualities and assets you wish you had, but don’t. It’s a favorable time to wallow in remorse. APRIL FOOL! I was totally lying! In fact, I hope you will do the reverse: Engage in an orgy of self-appreciation, celebrating yourself for being exactly who you are.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Provocation

specialist Lydia Lunch is a singer and poet who’s skilled at generating interesting mischief. She testifies, “My daily existence is a battlecade of extreme fluctuations where chaos clobbers apathy, which beats the s--- out of depression which follows irritability which slams into anger which eclipses ecstasy which slips through my fingers far too often.” In the coming weeks, Cancerian, I recommend you adopt her melodramatic approach to living the intense life. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Please don’t be like Lydia Lunch in the near future. On the contrary: Cultivate regal elegance, sovereign poise, and dynamic equanimity.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 1692, a Swedish

man named Thiess of Kaltenbrun was put on trial for being a werewolf. He claimed to be a noble werewolf, however. He said he regularly went down to Hell to do holy combat against the Devil. I suggest you make him your inspirational role model in the coming weeks. Be as weird as you need to be in order to fight for what’s good and right. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. What I really meant to say was: Be as weird as you need to be to fight for what’s good and right, but without turning into a werewolf, zombie, vampire, or other supernatural monster.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 1692, a Swedish

man named Thiess of Kaltenbrun was put on trial for being a werewolf. He claimed to be a noble werewolf, however. He said he regularly went down to Hell to do holy combat against the Devil. I suggest you make him your inspirational role model in the coming weeks. Be as weird as you need to be in order to fight for what’s good and right. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. What I really meant to say was: Be as weird as you need to be to fight for what’s good and right, but without turning into a werewolf, zombie, vampire, or other supernatural monster.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Here are affirmations

that will serve you well in the coming days. 1. “I am willing to make mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.” 2. “I am grateful that I’m not as judgmental as all the shortsighted, selfrighteous people.” 3. “I assume full responsibility for my actions, except those that are someone else’s fault.” 4. “A good scapegoat is as welcome as a solution to the problem.”

APRIL FOOL! All the preceding affirmations are total bunk!

Don’t you dare use them. Use these instead: 1. “I enjoy taking responsibility for my actions.” 2. “Rather than indulging in the reflex to blame, I turn my attention to fixing the problem.” 3. “No one can make me feel something I don’t want to feel.” 4. “I’m free from believing in the images people have of me.”

22 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly

NORTHERN EXPRESS

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0.72 acres, corner of Carver & Hastings Zoned industrial, empty lot $850,000 MLS#1882613

LD

SO

Charming 3 bed, 1 bath, 1,295 sq. ft. home Great location, right in the heart of Traverse City $325,000 MLS# 1885201

5 bed, 2 bath, 2,117 sq. ft. home 1.23 acres, spacious deck and yard $325,000 MLS# 1884117

0.84 acre lot for a new build, near Kingsley Partially wooded with countryside views $28,500 MLS# 1882064

0.75 acre lot for a new build, near Kingsley Open lot, nice countryside views $28,500 MLS# 1882065

ING

D EN

EP

L SA

7 Modern Live/Work Units near Boardman Lake Very unique investment opportunity $1,100,000 MLS#1854942

LE SA

4 bed, 3 bath, 2,193 sq. ft. log cabin-style gem 160 ft. private frontage, 1.29 beautiful acres $765,000 MLS# 1883024

LD

Exquisitely updated 3 bed, 2 bath home Great location, minutes from downtown TC $275,000 MLS# 1884309

Northern Express Weekly • april 05, 2021 • 23

24 • april 05, 2021 • Northern Express Weekly