how to adventure together ...and stay married

By Cindy Pope

So, you and your better half are planning an overlanding adventure, eh? Or maybe just a mild weekend in the boonies? That's great news! You're about to embark on a journey that will test your relationship in ways you never thought possible But don't worry, I'm here to give you some tips on how to keep the love alive while roughing it in the great outdoors

Before we begin, a little background and tip of the hat to this article's inspiration Many years ago, a class on paddling with your spouse was offered by Whitewater Specialty, an outfitter in northern Wisconsin near the wild and scenic Wolf River. It was listed in their annual course schedule as "How to Paddle Whitewater Tandem and Stay Married" It is a well-known fact that paddling a canoe with your spouse is a sure-fire way to test one ' s relationship. I mean, you have to actually communicate and work together before a paddle takes even one stroke in the water. Add the element of danger, and the possibility that one or both of you will end up out of the boat (most likely in a rapid with words like"bane," or "mistake" or "demise" in its name) and you may as well have already called the attorney.

Make a packing list together.

Before you head off into the sunset, make sure you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to packing. Sit down together and make a list so you don't end up with a truck bed full of stuff you don't need, or worse yet, forget the keys to the scooter that you so carefully rigged in the back of your truck or loaded on the bike carrier of your teardrop trailer.

Agree on a budget.

Money is a touchy subject for some couples, but it's important to set a budget before you are in line at the Jam Pot having an arguement in front of strangers about 12 pint jars of $18 thimbleberry jam Make sure you ' re both comfortable with how much you ' re gonna blow and stick to it

Divide responsibilities.

Manage expectations of the work load Divide up the chores so you ' re both pulling your weight Lean to each other's strengths Don't assign cooking duties to the one who can't boil water, and make sure you ' re not giving the GPS duties to the one who can't tell left from right

Communicate

This is especially important when you ' re stuck in a tiny truck cab for days on end. Make sure you ' re expressing your needs and wants, and listening to your partner's or else you might end up sleeping in the truck. Also, if your spouse is spotting you on a trail, make sure you have your language down and understood before you need it. "Your Other Left" is not a direction.

Take breaks.

You love each other, but sometimes you just need some space. Take breaks from each other when necessary. Maybe go for a hike, walk the dogs or just stare at a tree for a while. Rearrange the pantry or "clean" your toolbox. Trust me, absence makes the heart grow fonder (or at least tolerable )

Keep a sense of humor.

Things are gonna go wrong, that's just a fact But don't let the unexpected ruin your mood When your dinner is burned to a crisp, laugh it off! Who needs a working stove when you ' ve got fire and a can of beans? (Note: that can of beans can ignite a firestorm later in the tent, tread lightly )

Embrace the adventure.

Take risks, try new things, and enjoy the journey with your spouse Not everything will go right, but that is okay You might run out of gas You might have to take an emergency dump alongside the highway during a tornado. You might end up lost, but at least you'll be lost together.

In summary, keeping your marriage strong while adventuring requires teamwork, communication, and a whole lot of laughs. Chad and I never did take that class on tandem whitewater paddling. We did take three whitewater trips together in the almost 25 years we have been married, and survived each one. Although I am pretty sure that on each one, he was wishing for some alone time. That he would have enjoyed right after drowning me.