Emma Steigerwald It’s Not a Phase

EMMA STEIGERWALD

It’s Not Just a Phase

It was the Spring of my senior year when I realized that I wasn’t normal, but looking back, I knew way before. I'd hoped it was just a phase and that it would end soon enough. That was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with at the time. Growing up in a Catholic church gave me no other option. Then, middle school came around and that didn’t help, but middle school was supposed to be a confusing time, right? I started to have these tiny attractions, but I wouldn’t necessarily call them crushes. There were just some people that I’d tend to look a little bit longer at. Some of those people included girls. I should’ve known then, but then again, maybe it was just another phase. As years went on, it wouldn’t go away like I hoped it would. Flash forward to high school. Everything was going great. That was until I had the idea of going to a party with all of my friends, including her. We had met before, but we didn’t really know each other. I needed some time to myself, so I made my way to another room in the common area. Shortly after I sat on the couch she came in. The moment she sat next to me, I felt my heart skip a beat. We talked for a bit, but then things went silent. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. That was the night where I realized I couldn’t ignore the feeling anymore. I had to accept that it wasn’t just a phase.