Sonoma Family Life December 2019 by familylifemag

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December 2019

â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Tis the Season 59 ways to play

Give Back Children volunteer

Stop & Let Go Self-care tips

Decode When to worry Colds

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December 2019

Every Issue 6

Dear Reader

Bits and Pieces A Kiss for Mary?

12 Features

Talk a Little, Stitch a Little Pass the Pie Dreidel Delight Twist, Bend, Craft! The House that Cookies Built

10 You Can Do It! A clinical psychologist offers tips for helping anxious kids.

12 The Meaning in the Season Easy ways to cultivate connection with others.

24 Calendar of Events Pint-Sized New Year

34 Humor Break A Little Dirt Won’t Hurt

14 Stop, Drop & Let Go Sneak self-care into busy schedules.

16 The Joy of Giving Back Age-by-age guidance for teaching kids to aid others.

18 Emotional Labor Exploring often overlooked— and unshared—parental duties.

20 Decode Your Child’s Cold Know when to call the doctor.

22 Go Plastic-Free

9 4 SonomaFamilyLife

Environmentally friendly food storage ideas.

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Holidays 2019–20 SEASON HIGHLIGHTS

WEILL HALL | SCHROEDER HALL

DANÚ AN EMERALD ISLE CHRISTMAS

FRI, DEC 13 AT 7:30 P.M.

VOCTAVE, THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON

THU, DEC 19 AT 7:30 P.M.

SPANISH HARLEM ORCHESTRA SALSA NAVIDAD FRI, DEC 20 AT 7:30 P.M.

1 8 0 1 E a s t C o t a t i Av e . R o h n e r t P a r k , C A 9 4 9 2 8

gmc.sonoma.edu 7 0 7 . 6 6 4 . 4 2 4 6

@GREENMUSICCENTER

Preferred

@GREENMUSICCTR @GREENMUSICCENTER

Dear Reader

his time of year, religious and secular celebrations a like place the spotlight on love, kindness, and Sharon Gowan peace, qualities we Publisher/Editor hope to inspire with Sharon@family-life.us this issue. To wit: “The Meaning of the Season” (page 12) offers simple ways to focus on relationships with family and friends, while “Stop, Drop & Let Go” (page 14) lists creative ways to stay connected with yourself. Meanwhile, “The Joy of Giving Back” (page 16) cites volunteer opportunities for every age child.

For some children, emotional, more than physical, well-being is at the fore, especially during these weeks after the wildfires. In “You Can Do It!” (page 10), clinical psychologist Dr. Jenny Yip offers advice for helping kids cope with anxiety.

Their December schedules packed with parties and play, little kids are prone to getting sick. Check out “Decode Your Child’s Cold” (page 20) to find out when it’s time to make an appointment with a doctor.

Happy holidays!

May laughter, calm, and contentment visit your family often this season.

Renee Nutcher renee@family-life.us Warren Kaufman warren@family-life.us

Features Editor Melissa Chianta melissa@family-life.us Donna Bogener production@family-life.us

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Natalie Bruzon natalie@family-life.us

Contributing Writers Shannon Dean Meredith Ethington Sandra Gordon Malia Jacobson Christina Katz Sandi Schwartz Denise Yearian

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Patricia Ramos patty@family-life.us

Looking for a mood-lightener? Turn to “A Little Dirt Won’t Hurt” (page 34), in which humorist Meredith Ethington details a guest-by-guest holiday cleaning guide. (Hint: Visitors who only give 24 hours notice don’t get the good sheets.)

Bennett Valley Union School District

Yulupa Primary School Preschool–Third Grade 2250 Mesquite Drive, Santa Rosa 707 542-6272

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P.O. Box 351 Philo, CA 95466 (707) 586-9562

• Band, Percussion and Chorus (4th–6th) • Boys’ and Girls’ Interscholastic Basketball (4th–6th) • Emphasis on Environmental Stewardship • Gifted and Talented Education (4th–6th)

Call to reserve tours: Yulupa 12/17, 1/22, 2/11, 2/18, 3/5, 4/2 Strawberry by reservation only 526-4433 Registration Packets available Jan. 7. Children must be five on or before Sept. 1, 2020 to be eligible for kindergarten. Two-year Kinder Bridge program offered for children turning five on or after Sept. 2, 2020.

707 542-2201 • Visit us at www.bvusd.org 6 SonomaFamilyLife

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Play as You Learn PRESCHOOL There is no such thing as “just playing”; that is how I learn!

We are excited to introduce our new preschool to Cotati/Rohnert Park Area. To celebrate our first year in business, during the months of November through December we are offering one week free tuition for part-time and full-time enrollments. Our program is Reggio-based with Emergent Curriculum as its root of learning. Our main focus and priority is social-emotional growth of the individual child. We offer a safe learning environment with inside and outside classroom spaces. Our school offers a wide variety of schedules as well as a drop-in schedule to meet all needs of families.

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HAVE FUN FUN HAVE BE CONFIDENT CONFIDENT BE STAY SAFE SAFE STAY

The Art of Academic Excellence Twin Hills Middle School 6-8

A safe, small country school with high academic and elective standards. Teachers focus on character development and lifelong learning habits. We offer a challenging high school prep environment. Electives: Culinary arts • Dance • Spanish • Music • Art • Photoshop • Video editing • Technology MATHEMATICS ENGLISH • SCIENCE CREATIVE ARTS ATHLETICS • HISTORY

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Charter Middle 6-8

Sonoma County Family YMCA 1111 College Ave. Santa Rosa, CA 95404 • 707-545-9622 • F 707-544-7805 The Y is a non-profit Community Organization. Financial Assistance is available. Sonoma County Family YMCA 1111 College Ave. Santa Rosa, CA 95404 • 707-545-9622 • F 707-544-7805 The Y is a non-profit Community Organization. Financial Assistance is available.

December 2019

SonomaFamilyLife 7

Bits & Pieces

Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley

A Kiss for Mary?

t the end of Jane Austen’s classic 1813 novel Pride and Prejudice, almost everyone marries, except for the plain, piano-playing Mary. The 2016 play Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley is set two years after the novel ends, and introduces the odd-duck-out to a possible romance. The play will be performed Fridays–Sundays, December 1–15, at the Spreckels Performing Arts Center in Rohnert Park. Friday and Saturday shows will be at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday shows at 2 p.m. Tickets are $10–$24 and may be purchased at tinyurl.com/yhg8q6gs. ¶

Talk a Little, Stitch a Little

racticed by ancient Egyptians, Greeks, and Persians, embroidery has been around for millennia, with various cultures developing their own unique styles. Today, embroidered clothes, purses, and other textiles are ubiquitous. Kids interested in learning the basics of the age-old art and how to make their own cloth-and-thread creations can go to the free Introduction to Embroidery class at the Sebastopol Regional Library in Sebastopol on December 17, 3:30–4:30 p.m. For more information, go to sonomacounty.libcal.com/event/5596847. ¶

Pass the Pie

pple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Pies in all their forms are a part of many peoples’ celebrations and holiday traditions, and the flakier the crust the better. Those who are fans of the pastries can take their palates out to play at the free Holiday Pie Tasting at the Petaluma Pie Company in Petaluma. Tastings will be held on December 7 and 14, noon–3 p.m. See facebook.com/ petalumapiecompany for more information. ¶

8 SonomaFamilyLife

Dreidel Delight

t’s traditional for children to spin dreidels during Chanukah. But when it comes to the marshmallow dreidels at Hands-On Chanukah, it’s all about taste not twirl. The holiday treat is one of many attractions at the event. Other activities include rolling Chanukah candles, assembling sun catchers, and reading children’s stories. There will also be gourmet olive-oil tastings and a chance to make olive-oil infusions. This free event will be held on December 8, 10 a.m.–noon, at the Charles M. Schulz Museum in Santa Rosa. Find out more at jewishfed.org. ¶

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Twist, Bend, Craft!

s any parent will attest, children can get pretty wound up this time of year. The free Kids Yoga and Holiday Craft workshop aims to give them an outlet for their physical and creative energy. Geared toward children ages 3–6, the class will have two parts. The first half will include animated yoga poses, games, storytelling, and relaxation with music. The second half will focus on the construction of colorful talking sticks, followed by circle time. The workshop will be held on December 16, 3:30–4:15 p.m., at the Guerneville Regional Library in Guerneville. Parents and caregivers are invited to attend with their children. Register at sonomacounty.libcal.com/ event/5786401. ¶

The House that Cookies Built

erhaps it was the Brothers Grimm and their “Handsel and Gretel” candy-cottage that inspired 16th century Germany to produce the first gingerbread houses. Or perhaps it was the other way around. According to food historian Tori Avey, the matter is up for debate. Regardless, the confection constructions are still popular, especially around the holidays. And, with its drop-in Once Upon a Gingerbread House events, the Rincon Valley Regional Library in Santa Rosa is making sure locals get a chance to build and decorate one. The first event, just for ages 0–6, will be held on December 4 and the second, for all ages, will be held on December 7. Both will start at 10:30 a.m. and materials, including graham crackers and candy, will be provided. See sonomacounty.libcal.com/event/6052524 for more information. For those who would rather look at than make the fantastical homes, there’s the free Fourth Annual Gingerbread House Showcase and Competition at the Hotel Petaluma in Petaluma. It will be held on December 13, 1–9 p.m.; December 14, 10 a.m.–9 p.m.; and December 15, 1–5 p.m. See details at facebook.com/hotelpetaluma. ¶

www.sonomafamilylife.com

December 2019

SonomaFamilyLife 9

Yip: Yes, in increments. And we resist safety behaviors [checking, avoidance, seeking reassurance] because they only reinforce the faulty assumption that the fear is real.

Dr. Jenny Yip

You Can Do It! Helping Children Cope with Anxiety W

hen your child is anxious, everyday events turn into big struggles. In this interview, psychologist Dr. Jenny Yip, a clinical fellow of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, offers help. Question: What is your advice for parents who have kids who are struggling with anxiety? Dr. Yip: The evidence-based treatment for anxiety disorder is exposure and response prevention therapy, which is a type of cognitive behavior therapy. Cognitive behavior therapy basically means teaching children how to behave in a way that allows them to decrease their anxiety. We teach them how to recognize the mind traps—the faulty thinking— that we all often get stuck in so that they can adjust their thought patterns to more accurately reflect reality. Exposure therapy basically means that we teach children how 10 SonomaFamilyLife

to confront their fears so that they no longer carry the magnitude that children imagine in their minds. The classic example: If you have a spider phobia, you are going to avoid spiders, check for spiders, and want reassurance from parents that there aren’t spiders around. However, that doesn’t allow you to correct your faulty assumption that spiders are dangerous. The only way to correct your assumption is to actually confront that fear, so that you learn, “Oh wait, there is no harm in this spider.” Q: So when you work with kids with anxiety, do you expose them to their fears in increments?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) runs rampant in my genetics. One of my sons had his first panic attack at two years and six months. All of a sudden he discovered that there was a lot of hair in his bath after he washed his hair. He turned bright red, panicked, and wanted to get out of the water. Initially, he cried uncontrollably,

Rather than try to fix the problem, guide the child to his or her own solution. and I had to calm him down. I said, “Show me what you are afraid of,” and he pointed to the hair. Any parent would just drain the water and scoop their child out. However, we tried to make a game out of it. I made up a song that said, “Hair, hair, everywhere. Let’s see how many we can pick.” Then we tried to pick up the hair from the water, and I said, “Oh look at this!” The next baths we did the same thing, to the point where now he still notices the hair, but it’s not causing him stress. Q: Do you have any other tips for helping children manage anxiety? Yip: It’s important to acknowledge a child’s feelings. A lot of times parents will tell their kid, “There is nothing to be afraid of” or “Everything will be OK, you’ll be fine.” [These statements] actually invalidate the child’s experience. Instead, say, “I see you are feeling very uncomfortable and anxious.” Then, rather than try to fix

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

the problem, guide the child to his or her own solution: “So what can you do to work through this?” [This approach tells] the child, “Hey, you have what it takes; I believe in you.” When anxiety is an issue, the most important traits children need are confidence and to believe in themselves. Kids, especially the very young ones, really look to parents for information. If a tragedy occurs, the child will first look to the parents for how to respond. The most important thing to do in such a situation is to demonstrate strength. And being strong does not mean being emotionless. [Rather, it’s saying] I know that I am feeling sad right now. These are the things that I am doing to help myself feel better. [This approach shows children] that they

are not helpless, that there is a solution, a way out of feeling sad. Q: When should parents seek professional help for their kids?

It’s important to acknowledge a child’s feelings. Yip: Professional help is necessary if a child is spending a lot of time ruminating about worries, engaging in checking behaviors, seeking reassurance, and avoiding sports or school for whatever reason—these are some red flags. And when you are seeking professional help, don’t just go to anybody. Some professionals who are not specialists

may just categorize anxiety as “general anxiety,” [a diagnosis that is] very different from school anxiety, social anxiety, phobias, OCD, or panic attacks. Kids rarely have just general anxiety. Usually there are specific triggers to a child’s anxiety. So interview therapists. Ask them: Have they worked with other children with anxiety disorders? And what kind of anxiety disorders? And ask them what their treatment approach is. If the clinician doesn’t say “cognitive behavior therapy” and, more specifically, “exposure therapy,” then keep looking. ¶ Dr. Jenny Yip is the founder of the Renewed Freedom Center for Rapid Anxiety Relief and the Little Thinkers Center, both in Los Angeles. Find out more at dryip.com.

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December 2019

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SonomaFamilyLife 11

4. Multicultural merriment. Every year pick one country and find out about a major holiday celebrated there. Find out what the culture and traditions are like, learn a few words, and try traditional foods.

Decorate an outdoor tree with pinecones rolled in peanut butter and birdseed.

The Meaning in the Season Simple Ways to Focus on the Heart and the Earth By Denise Yearian

and attach it to the tree or place it by the menorah. On Christmas morning or during a Chanukah celebration, share it with the other family members and discuss ways everyone can help fulfill the goal.

6. Intergenerational experiences. Grandparents often have personal itemsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;old dolls, a piece of jewelry, a book, or even a photographâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that they wish to give to their grandchildren, and the holidays are an opportune time to do it. Ask to learn the story behind each item. If the kids are old enough, they can video Grandma or Grandpa describing the history of the gift.

3. Go green. Reuse holiday wrapping paper to cover another gift, line a drawer, or draw on the reverse side. Christmas and Chanukah cards can be recycled, too. Cut them in half and use the blank side to jot down reminder notes, or let your kids cut them up and make new cards for next year.

7. Warm fuzzies. Families so often forget to share positive and encouraging words with one another. Have your family sit in a circle and pass a fuzzy teddy bear around. As you do, have the person holding the bear say something she or he appreciates about the one sitting to her or his right or left.

n the midst of holiday hooplas, children often lose sight of the significance of the season. Here is a list of a dozen ways to create a more meaningful celebration.

1. Grassroots giving. One of the best ways to make your holiday more meaningful is to adopt a family from a local charity. When you call, ask for a family with children your own kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ages. Then if you normally give your child five gifts, suggest giving three and letting him or her pick out two for each needy child. 2. Aspiring ornaments. Have each family member secretly write one non-monetary thing they want to work and/or wish for in the coming year. Then put it in a decorative envelope or ornament

12 SonomaFamilyLife

5. Family photo tree. Decorate your tree or home with individual photos of family members. Mount images on construction paper, felt or foam, write the date on the back, attach a ribbon and hang it on the tree or place it by the menorah or in another important spot in your home. When your children are grown, pass along the pictures so they can carry on the tradition.

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

8. Critter care. Decorate an outdoor tree with pinecones rolled in peanut butter and birdseed; popcorn and cranberry garland; and orange and apple slices that have been attached to pipe cleaners or opened paperclips and then hung on the tree’s boughs. This is a way to take care of neighboring wildlife and wish them a happy holiday. 9. Family fitness. During holiday school break, decide on one activity you can do together each day to stay fit—walk around the

Decorate your tree or home with individual photos of family members. neighborhood and look at lights, jump rope to a favorite holiday song, or play a round of basketball while the pie or kugel is baking. Then make it a family New Year’s resolution. 10. Family video newsletter. Each child can take turns being the anchorperson while you record, but make it more than just reading off news. Take footage from the kids’ bedrooms where they are showing a favorite stuffed animal or in the yard performing a newly acquired skill. Send copies of the DVD with your holiday cards, or attach the video to a holiday greeting email and donate the money you save on stamps to charity. Denise Yearian is the former editor of two parenting magazines and the mother of three children and six grandchildren.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Thank you for choosing local first!

Spend the Holidays with Peanuts! Bring the whole family to share the joy of Peanuts this season

December–January WINTER CLASSES* (GRADES K–6) Cooking, LEGO Animation, Cartooning, iPad Coding...and more!

Visit schulzmuseum.org for details and more holiday events!

Saturday, December 14, 5:00–9:00 pm KIDS NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM* Get your holiday shopping done while your kids enjoy after-hours fun! Advance registration required.

Tuesday, December 31, 10:00 am–4:00 pm HAPPY NEW YEAR, CHARLIE BROWN! Featuring visits from Snoopy and balloon drops at noon and 3:00 pm, plus family crafts!

2301 Hardies Lane Santa Rosa, CA 95403 (707) 579-4452 schulzmuseum.org ©PNTS

December 2019

SonomaFamilyLife 13

task grows larger and more daunting than the last. The key is to stop pushing. Constant striving turns quickly into exhaustion. So drop the willpower and try to relax yourself back into a more natural flow of accomplishing tasks instead.

Stop, Drop & Let Go

Sit down. Find a chair or sit on the floor against a wall. For a few moments, relax and do nothing except breathe. Breathing slowly and deeply is a shortcut back to sanity when you feel stressed. If something

How to Stay Sane During the Holidays

By Christina Katz

ere come the holidays barreling down the calendar track. If your holly-jollies start running on fumes, these steps will remind you how to hit the reset button so you can make a quick comeback. Stop it. The frenetic pace is undeniable at this time of year— planning, shopping, parties, travel. However, every day you get to choose whether to act, react, respond, or detach. If you often feel like you can’t invoke your power of choice, and if you find yourself reacting to situations you would prefer to detach from, then maybe you need a break. You’ll know you need a break if you feel consistently grumpy and stressed out. When this happens, take 10 minutes to re-evaluate your day. No matter how 14 SonomaFamilyLife

Breathing slowly and deeply is a shortcut back to sanity when you feel stressed. much you still have to do, anyone can spare a few minutes. Drop it. You may be attempting to accomplish too much. The more we try to jam into our waking hours, the less we feel like we are in the flow. If we are pushing all day, using will to power through a series of tasks, it may feel as though each

Every day you get to choose whether to act, react, respond, or detach. of tragic proportions happens, like forgetting to put the turkey out to thaw or neglecting to mail a package early enough to arrive on time, just keep breathing. When you panic and start berating yourself, it’s game-over for your holiday spirit. So, when inevitable stresses strike and mistakes happen, simply sit, breathe, and collect yourself. Appreciate something. Now that you are calm, cool, and collected, take a couple of moments to appreciate something. You may feel grateful for something right in front of you, such as a pretty wreath or a warm coat, or for something more abstract. Whatever you genuinely feel positive about counts. Stay in a state of appreciation until you feel a smile come across your face. Let go. No doubt, once you stop thinking about good things, a few stressful items that have been lined up waiting for your attention will pop into your mind and start

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

10 Ways to Nurture Yourself 1. Go to bed by 10 p.m. each night. 2. Get up an hour earlier and have some daily you-time. 3. Watch all your favorite holiday movies. 4. Take a long winter’s nap. 5. Put a stack of inspirational books on your nightstand. 6. Write down your blessings. 7. Make a list of gifts you want and distribute it. 8. Take a long, hot bath with music and bath salts. 9. Listen to inspirational talks, podcasts, or books on tape. 10. Say kind things to yourself all day long.

jumping up and down and waving their arms. But here’s the thing: You just got yourself into a pretty good place. Do you really want to go back to square one all over again? I’m sure you don’t. Milk feeling relaxed for as long as possible—and don’t feel bad about it. If nagging worry keeps dogging you, just acknowledge the concern and gently wave it to the side as though clearing a butterfly from your path. Act thoughtfully. Ease back into your day, moving forward mindfully. Drop the list for now. What is the single most important thing to do next? Intersperse actions with self-care. Do a task then put on some cheerful tunes. Do another then light a wood wick candle. Do

‘TIS THE SEASON!

another then put the water on for tea. Take short breaks after completing a series of tasks. Have

You’ll know you need a break if you feel consistently grumpy and stressed out. small snacks throughout the day so you don’t overeat at mealtime. Perhaps take out your list later on so you check things off. Remember, you set the tone for your holiday. And you can stay in charge by taking excellent care of yourself. ¶ Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz loves to savor the days during the most magical time of the year.

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tots interpersonal skills, including communication, empathy, and respect for others, and can foster future interest in volunteering. Toddlers and preschoolers can help plant community gardens, wrap or decorate gifts, help pick up litter or rake leaves for an outdoor cleanup, sort and stack donated coats and scarves, or help shelve items at a food bank.

The Joy of Giving Back Raising Enthusiastic Volunteers

By Malia Jacobson

hroughout the year, and especially at the holidays, volunteering with children can facilitate family bonding and impart valuable lessons in giving back. More than 15 million youth—around 55 percent—participate in volunteer activities, mostly through religious, school, or youth organizations, according to the Corporation for National and Community Service. But kids aren’t always willing helpers. Parents may wonder how to volunteer with a tiny tot, or about the best way to motivate a self-centered tween. Looking to get kids excited about giving back? Here’s age-by-age guidance on raising truly altruistic children. TODDLER/PRESCHOOL YEARS (ages 2–5) Helping Hearts Don’t assume that kids need to be school-age before they can volunteer. “When kids are 16 SonomaFamilyLife

very young, you can volunteer as a family unit,” says Simon Lockyer, father of two and founder of the online giving platform everydayhero. com. Volunteering helps teach

Lockyer recommends bringing young ones to visit the elderly in nursing homes or deliver Meals on Wheels. “Their presence makes

Though volunteering benefits kids of all ages, it’s especially meaningful for teens. the experience really beautiful, brightening the faces of the sad and lonely who live either away from home or on their own.” Toddlers can’t yet understand abstract concepts like altruism, so don’t expect little ones to truly get the concept of giving back—just let them enjoy the act of helping others. ELEMENTARY YEARS (ages 6–12) Caring Connection School-age children have a host of new worries and responsibilities, from friend cliques to math homework, and they can be preoccupied with their own daily lives. They can also make excellent, caring volunteers, says licensed family therapist Jen S. Miller, M.Ed.; it’s all a matter of finding something that sparks a child’s interest. “When children have decision-making autonomy

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

to choose the type of charity or organization they want to work with, it gives them additional motivation and empowerment,” she says. Parents can present grade-schoolers with several options, preferably ones that relate to the child’s own life. Kids who have been bullied can volunteer with a group that advocates for bullying victims; pet lovers can work with animals; and bookworms can help out at a book drive. The benefits are multifaceted, says Miller; kids not only feel great about giving back, but also connect with others who share their struggles or interests. TEEN YEARS (ages 13–18) Give and Take Though volunteering benefits kids of all

ages, it’s especially meaningful for teens, who can more fully appreciate the concept of altruism, says Miller. “Through volunteering, they can grasp the good feelings of giving, instead of

Volunteering helps teach tots interpersonal skills, including communication, empathy, and respect for others. receiving, and apply more meaning to their lives and relationships.” That doesn’t mean giving back doesn’t have tangible personal benefits, says Lockyer. “Volunteering has become an increasingly important social and professional statement. Professional

networking website LinkedIn has added a volunteer section where job-seekers can showcase volunteer experiences, and many colleges factor volunteer pursuits along with other extracurricular activities into admission decisions.” Teens looking to get involved—and beef up a professional résumé or college application—can visit volunteermatch.org to connect with nonprofits based on their skills and experiences, he notes. “The earlier you begin volunteering and fostering your skills, the better.” ¶ Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. Her latest book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

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December 2019

SonomaFamilyLife 17

and occasions that are important to not only those residing under her roof, but also to her in-laws, children’s teachers, and her spouse’s coworkers, among other people.

Emotional Labor Sharing All the Work of Parenting By Shannon Dean

any families share domestic duties in a way that would have been foreign to previous generations. For example, most dads will willingly do a load of laundry, change a diaper, or cook a meal. Many moms can complete home repairs, handle vehicle maintenance, and throw a ball. These shifts are healthy because they allow children to see both parents contributing to household tasks regardless of gender.

Unfortunately, the invisible emotional labor needed to support a modern family often remains gender-specific. A recent report from the United Nations found that women do two and a half times more unpaid household and care work than men. As a result, some family responsibilities remain so unbalanced that mothers risk burnout. What Is Emotional Labor? Although many tasks classified as emotional labor address a family’s emotional and physical well-being, any 18 SonomaFamilyLife

administrative effort that contributes to a well-run household falls into this category. Because many moms are the emotional center of the home, they are expected to be fully available when family members are sick, troubled, or stressed. Mom is also the invisible elf who ensures that everyone has clothing that fits, food to eat, and a schedule that works. Emotional labor often extends far beyond the immediate family. Moms are responsible for remembering issues

The Potential for Burnout When you add these invisible tasks to a full schedule, it’s no surprise that many mothers feel exhausted. Understandably, this fatigue can lead to resentment and frustration. No one notices invisible labor until it goes

Be clear that you are asking for shared responsibility, not help; the latter implies that the task in question is solely your job. undone, at which time moms can be criticized or made to feel guilty. Even worse, since these unrelenting tasks often involve family relationships, many parents feel uncomfortable outsourcing them. Additionally, the fact that emotional labor can often go unappreciated can cause a mother to withdraw when her family needs her the most. According to Amelia Nagoski, Ph.D., author of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle (Ballantine Books, 2019), parental burnout can lead to decreased empathy and a dwindling sense of accomplishment. Eventually, an overwhelmed parent may shut down due to a belief that “nothing you do makes any difference,” she explains. The Benefits of Shared Responsibility Mom is an obvious beneficiary of shared responsibility, but all family members win in a

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

home where equality is valued. Data published in the Journal of Marriage and Family suggests that men who take on more household tasks enjoy increased physical intimacy in their marriages. In addition, fathers who share emotional labor set an important example for their children, particularly daughters. Research published in Psychological Science found that fathers who embraced household responsibilities raised daughters more likely to pursue less traditional, and possibly higher paying, careers. “How fathers treat their domestic duties appears to play a unique gatekeeper role,” explains researcher Alyssa Croft. How to Approach a Partner It is very common to assume that Mom has a firm lock on emotional labor, while Dad is only a helpmate. We must change this outlook, says

The fact that emotional labor can often go unappreciated can cause a mother to withdraw when her family needs her the most. Gemma Harley, the author of Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward (HarperOne, 2018), because it not only “sets up women for an overwhelming dive into the deep waters of emotional labor but also inhibits men from growing and stepping fully into the role of parent.” Fortunately, most spouses want an equal partnership, but are either unaware of this inequality or are unsure of how to do their fair share. So approach your partner with the goal of raising awareness about how www.sonomafamilylife.com

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much work you actually do. Don’t wait until there’s a full-blown crisis to do this. Acknowledge the contributions he already makes so that he doesn’t become too defensive. Be clear that you are asking for shared responsibility, not help; the latter implies that the task in question is solely your job. It may help to explain that shared responsibility will benefit your entire family. After all, you’re modeling the skills that your children will one day use to run their own households.

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over a partner who is trying to share responsibility is continuing the cycle of imbalance.

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Clarify Essential Tasks The value of emotional labor is immeasurable because it ensures that those we love feel secure and cared for. However, not every task is essential. Lightening your load may mean dropping obligations that no longer serve you or your family. Ask yourself what you do out of obligation rather than out of necessity or joy. Keeping only joyful and essential tasks means that you can lovingly offer emotional labor because you don’t feel undervalued, overwhelmed, and used. Harley reassures families that sharing invisible labor “gives all of us a chance to live fuller and more authentic lives.” Even better, when we share these responsibilities, we allow our loved ones to create their own systems, their own sets of priorities, and their own deep connections. ¶ Shannon Dean is a freelance writer.

December 2019

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SonomaFamilyLife 19

also produce other chemicals in response to the virus that can make your child feel lousy. Post-nasal drip—a slow leak of mucous from the nose that irritates the back of the throat—can also cause a runny nose, and sneezing and a phlegmy cough (without wheezing or fast breathing, day or night). None of these symptoms requires treatment.

Decode Your Child’s Cold When to Worry and How to Help By Sandra Gordon

s miserable as a cough or stuffy nose can make your child feel, it’s helpful to know that cold symptoms can often seem worse than they actually are. Still, coughs and congestion can sometimes signal something more serious. What’s worrisome and what’s not? Here’s what you need to know to decipher and treat your child’s cold symptoms. Cold Clues Nasal congestion is often the first sign of a cold. It’s an inflammatory response to bacteria or, most commonly, a virus. When a virus invades your child’s nose or less often, the air passages in her or his chest, cells lining the nose and/ 20 SonomaFamilyLife

or the chest area swell and produce mucous. Clogged nasal and throat passages help block the bad bug from traveling further. As part of this inflammatory response, your child’s nose can also run, which helps shed the virus. The body can

When to Worry Cold-like symptoms you should be concerned about include distressed breathing (your child can’t catch his or her breath, even when trying to breathe through the mouth), a high fever

You can’t shorten the duration of a cold, but you can help your child feel better. (100.5°F or greater), loss of appetite, disrupted sleep, a lack of energy, and/or chest congestion. Call your doctor if your child has any of these symptoms, especially if your child’s cough and stuffy nose persist more than 10 days without improving, even if they’re not causing other symptoms. Rarely a cold can start off as a viral nasal infection and develop into a bacterial infection in the lungs, aka pneumonia, which does require medical attention. Your little one could also have asthma, allergies, or even enlarged adenoids, which inhibit breathing. Older kids could have sinusitis (a bacterial infection that’s often brought on by a cold) or an allergy. It could also simply be seasonal

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

stuffiness. When the humidity level in the air drops along with the thermometer, mucous membranes in the nose can swell. Cold Comfort You can’t shorten the duration of a cold, but you can help your child feel better by trying these tactics: Sweeten the deal. Since a cold is viral, not bacterial, treatment won’t require antibiotics. And since the Food and Drug Administration

So try honey. “In studies, it works better than dextromethorphan, a component of cough suppressants,” says Bonnie Kvistad, M.D. Give a half a teaspoon to 2–5-year-olds; 1 teaspoon for 6–11-year-olds, and 2 teaspoons for kids ages 12 and older. If administered before bed, make sure your child brushes her or his teeth because it can cause tooth decay. Honey isn’t recommended for children under age 1 because of the risk of botulism. Cough drops are another option for loosening coughs and soothing sore throats. “But don’t give them to children under age 6,” says Kvistad. www.sonomafamilylife.com

“If you run a humidifier full time, there’s a greater chance you’ll create mold spores in the room, which your child can inhale,” says Lawrence Rosen, M.D. As a result, kids can develop an allergy to mold and a chronic cough.

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doesn’t recommend over-the-counter cough and cold medications for children under age 6 because of the risk of potentially life-threatening side effects, they aren’t options either. It’s just as well. “They haven’t actually been shown to be effective in children,” Michael Brady, M.D., says.

Keep nasal passages as clear as possible. Using a cool-mist humidifier in your child’s bedroom will help moisten airways. But be sure to clean the humidifier often and only use it when your child is congested.

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For babies and toddlers, use nasal saline drops and a nasal aspirator to suction a runny nose. This is important so your child can breathe through the nose when nursing or having a bottle. Your child may not drink as much otherwise, which can lead to dehydration. Use saline spray for older kids. Fill up on fluids. Drinking plenty of clear fluids, such as water (for babies older than 1), can help your child stay hydrated, which helps thin mucous and clear nasal secretions. Avoid milk, which may make secretions at the back of the throat thicker. For babies under age 1, stick with breast milk or formula. If your baby is vomiting, Rosen recommends alternating formula or breast milk with Pedialyte. But check with your doctor to be sure. Don’t give babies under 1 year old straight water, Rosen advises. Infants are susceptible to water intoxication, a potentially lethal condition. ¶ Sandra Gordon is an award-winning freelance writer.

December 2019

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to plastic, such as glass or stainless steel, and to avoid using “plastics with recycling codes 3 (phthalates), 6 (styrene), and 7 (bisphenols) unless they are labeled as ‘biobased’ or ‘greenware.’” Switching from plastic storage is not as challenging as you might think. There are now so many better alternatives out there to choose from. Which is your favorite? Airtight Glass Containers These are a great option for storing, heating up, and transporting all kinds of foods and liquids. They are available in a variety of sizes and shapes, including

Go Plastic-Free Eco-Friendly Ways to Store Food

By Sandi Schwartz

any of us grew up with Tupperware containers (our moms loved those Tupperware parties!) and never thought twice about storing our leftovers in plastic. But now we have several reasons to look for alternatives to plastic wrap and plastic storage containers. For starters, we know that plastic is damaging our environment, especially our oceans, soil, and drinking water supply. The EPA estimated that 14.5 thousand tons of plastic containers and packaging were generated in 2017 alone. One way to cut back on that production is to shift demand by using other types of storage options. Health concerns are another reason to move away from plastic storage. In 2018, the American Academy of Pediatrics (APA) warned that microwaving and dishwashing

22 SonomaFamilyLife

plastic containers can result in BPA and phthalates, which are considered to be endocrine disruptors, leaking into food. The APA recommends using alternatives

The APA recommends using alternatives to plastic, such as glass or stainless steel. square, rectangular, and oval. Their secure lids, which can be stainless steel or clip-on, keep liquids like sauces from leaking. Plus, feel free to toss them in the dishwasher because their material won’t degrade over time. Mason Jars and Leftover Glass Jars Instead of just tossing those extra glass jars from pickles, pasta sauce, and salsa into your recycle bin, wash them out and use them to store other foods, such as soups, chili, and drinks. Alternatively, purchase some mason jars. Insulated Stainless Steel Containers These durable, long-lasting containers are double-walled and have a silicone seal for airtightness so they can keep food and liquids warm or cold for hours.

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Tiffins These traditional Asian containers are made from stainless steel or ceramic. What makes them unique is their built-in carrying handle so you can easily transport food from place to place. In addition, they contain separate compartments to keep multiple

One of the most innovative ways to store food without using plastic wrap is to use reusable wraps. items intact. Tiffin is a smart option when you are picking up takeout food and want to make sure various foods do not mix together. Bento Boxes Typically found in Japanese restaurants, you can now get these containers for your home as well. They are made out of either stainless steel or wood, and contain multiple dividers to separate portions or items. Reusable Non-Plastic Wraps One of the most innovative ways to store food without using plastic wrap is to use reusable wraps. The self-adhesive wraps are made from a hemp-and-organic–cotton blend cloth that contains beeswax, tree resin, and jojoba oil. They are water-resistant, easy to handle, soft, pliable, come in a variety of sizes, and smell fabulous. Although you can use them for almost anything, they come in handy for sandwiches and snacks, or when you have half a tomato or onion that needs to be covered up. The best part is that they can be rinsed and reused, typically www.sonomafamilylife.com

lasting up to one year. And when you are finished using one, you can toss it into your compost pile. Silicone Containers and Bags These flexible storage options come in a variety of colors and some are even oven-safe. They are great for storing and freezing liquids and can be cleaned in the dishwasher. Be sure to look for silicone storage bags made from food-grade silicone so they don’t contain any harmful chemicals, such as BPA, PVC, or phthalates. Cloth Food Sacks If you are looking to store sandwiches and dry snacks, cloth food sacks are a good alternative to plastic bags. You can find them online, in many stores, or you can even make your own. Wax Paper You probably already have some wax paper on hand for baking, but it can also be used in place of plastic wrap. Although you can’t recycle wax paper because of its coating, soy-based, biodegradable brands can be composted. Paper Bags Here’s a super simple one: Use brown paper bags to store fragile produce like berries and figs. Be sure to throw these bags into your compost bin as well. Cloth Napkins These are a quick way to wrap up sandwiches, fruits, and veggies for temporary storage. Fabric Bowl Covers Slap a fabric cover on bowls of berries, pasta, or salad. Find a selection of covers online. ¶ Sandi Schwartz is a freelance writer/blogger and mother of two. Find her at happysciencemom.com.

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December 2019

SonomaFamilyLife 23

December Calendar of Events Pint-Sized New Year

hile adults are bringing in the New Year with bottles of bubbly and kisses under mistletoe, kids are usually fast asleep. The Charles M. Schulz Museum in Santa Rosa thinks that, despite their early bedtime, little ones should get a chance to celebrate, too. So its holding the Happy New Year, Charlie Brown! party on December 31, 10 a.m.–4 p.m. The all-day soiree features Up-Down Baby Balloon drops at noon and root beer toasts at noon and 3 p.m. There also will be hands-on crafts for kids and showings of the 1986 cartoon Happy New Year, Charlie Brown! The event is included in the price of museum admission ($5–$12, or free for ages 3 and younger), and is very popular, so arrive early. Find out more at schulzmuseum.org. ¶

Sunday 1 Magical Christmas Train. Featuring

Santa, festive treats, reindeer games & sing-alongs. 90-minute trip. Daily departs from Willits & Fort Bragg. Runs thru Dec. 23. $10.95–$52.95. Ask for Lake & Mendocino Counties’ residents discount. 100 W. Laurel St., Fort Bragg. 299 E. Commercial St., Willits. Schedule: skunktrain.com. Be sure to give the

SFL19 code for 20% off for Sonoma Family Life readers. Santa Train. 1.25-hour Christmas

train with onboard music, games, entertainment & hot cocoa & freshly baked cookies. $49.99–$89.99. Runs thru Dec. 27. Blackout dates: Dec. 24 & 25. Napa Valley Wine Train. 1275 McKinstry St., Napa. Times & availability: winetrain.com/events/ santa-train. 800-427-4124.

Give a Parks Membership

Cirque de Bohème. An old-style

circus based on the French tradition of the 1920s. Adults: $34. Ages 15 & younger: $27. Saturdays & Sundays. 1, 3 & 5 p.m. Runs thru Dec. 22. CornerStone Sonoma. 23570 Hwy. 121, Sonoma. cirquedeboheme2019.bpt.me. Ukiah on Ice: Holiday Ice Skating Rink. Outdoor rink. $10 per skate session, includes skates. Daily thru Jan. 5, 2020. Next to Alex Thomas Plaza on School St. Schedule: cityofukiah. com/ukiah-on-ice. Santa & Mrs. Claus. The Christmas

couple will be in their photo studio Saturdays & Sundays thru Dec. 22. 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Montgomery Village. 911 Village Ct., Santa Rosa. mvshops.com.

hip includes: Your annual members + regional parks • free parking at 50 g pin • free night of cam • festival admission • free boat launching rk Ba • discounts to Water

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9 g nior $6 9 se $4 Gift Memberships available at Regional Parks’ office, REI, Oliver’s Markets, and other retail partners through Dec. 24

SonomaCountyParks.org 24 SonomaFamilyLife

Happy New Year, Charlie Brown!

It’s Santa Photo Time. Activities & photos. Times vary, visit simon. com/mall/santa-rosa-plaza/stores/ santa-photo for a full schedule. Dec. 1: 11 a.m.–6 p.m. Dec. 2–6: 10 a.m.–8 p.m. Dec. 7: 10 a.m.–8:30 p.m. Dec. 8: 11 a.m.–8 p.m. Dec. 9–12: 10 a.m.–8:30 p.m. Dec. 13–23: 9 a.m.–9 p.m. Dec. 24: 8 a.m.–6 p.m. Center

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Court. Santa Rosa Plaza. 1071 Santa Rosa Plaza, Santa Rosa. Reserve your FastPass & skip the line to see Santa. santasfastpass.com/scheduling. Santa Photo Hours. Take pictures

with Santa. Dec. 1: 11 a.m.–6 p.m. Dec. 2–8: 11 a.m.–8 p.m. Dec. 9–15: 10 a.m.–9 p.m. Dec. 16–23: 9 a.m.–9 p.m. Dec. 24: 8 a.m.–5 p.m. Coddingtown Mail. 733 Coddingtown Center, Santa Rosa. coddingtown.shop. Oliver! $22–$38. Dec. 1, 6–8, 12–15.

Thursdays, Fridays & Saturdays: 7:30 p.m. Saturdays & Sundays: 2 p.m. Runs thru Dec. 15. 6th Street Playhouse. 52 W. 6th St., Santa Rosa. 6thstreetplayhouse.com.

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Historic Downtown Ukiah

Petaluma Lights Driving Tour.

A self-guided tour of beautifully decorated homes & businesses. Daily: 6–10 p.m. Thru Dec. 31. Maps available at visitpetaluma.com.

Wednesday 4 Northbay Girls Softball League. A new softball league for girls ages 5–14. Print registration form from website or fill one out in person. Bring child’s birth certificate. $105–$135. Registration: Dec. 4 & 18: 6–7 p.m. Sports Basement. 1970 Santa Rosa Ave., Santa Rosa. northbaygirlssoftball.org. FREE Once Upon a Gingerbread House. Make a gingerbread house from graham crackers. Materials provided. Drop-ins welcome. Ages 0–6. 10:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. Rincon Valley Library. 6959 Montecito Blvd., Santa Rosa. Other libraries will host; see sonomacounty.libcal.com for branches/times.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Nov. 30, 2019–Jan. 5, 2020 Alex Thomas Plaza - Skate Tent on School St.

Outdoor Skating! Great Family Fun!

Open Daily Including Holidays • $10 Per Session (includes skates) Take Perkins Street Exit West to School Street. You’ll find our Ice Rink & lots of wonderful shops & restaurants. Shop Local - Browse Historic Downtown Ukiah Bona Marketplace Shoefly & Sox Toppers Salon Patrona Cultivo Triple S Camera Sherri’s Sandwich Shop Mendocino Bounty

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December 2019

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More info at cityofukiah.com/ukiah-on-ice

SonomaFamilyLife 25

5–8 p.m. Sebastopol Town Plaza. 6908 Weeks Way, Sebastopol. sebastopol.org.

Thursday 5 Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

FREE Windsor Holiday Celebration.

Grove. More than 200 decorated

trees. Nightly “snowfall” 5:30 & 7:30 p.m. Thru Jan. 1. Windsor Town Green. 701 McLelland Dr., Windsor. people4parkswindsor.org. FREE Light Up a Life. Heartland Hospice Tree Lighting Ceremony. Celebrate the lives of those who have been lost or who have a terminal illness. Live jazz music. Make a donation for each light requested. 5–6:30 p.m. Montgomery Village. 911 Village Ct., Santa Rosa. 545-3844. mvshops.com. FREE Sebastopol Holiday Celebration. Tree lighting, arts &

Gingerbread cookie decorating, wagon & train rides, live entertainment, photos with Santa & more. Food for purchase. 5–8 p.m. Windsor Town Green. 701 McLelland Dr., Windsor. townofwindsor.com.

Friday 6 Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley. $20–$24. Ages 18 &

younger: $10. Dec. 6–7, 12–15: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 1, 8 & 15: 2 p.m. Spreckels Performing Arts Center. 5409 Snyder Ln., Rohnert Park. 588-3400. spreckelsonline.com.

crafts, music & family-friendly events.

FREE Hospice Light Up a Life Tree Lighting Ceremony. Celebrate the lives of those who have been lost or who have a terminal illness. Family friendly. Make a donation to hospice for each light requested. 6–7 p.m. Walnut Park. 201 4th St., Petaluma. visitpetaluma.com. Transcendence’s Broadway Holiday Spectacular. $39–$139. Dec. 6 & 7: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 7 & 8: 2 p.m. Doors open 90 minutes before show. Food for purchase. Luther Burbank Center. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. lutherburbankcenter.org.

Saturday 7 Holiday Celebration. Native

artists showcasing their works of art & beadwork (available for purchase).

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December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Free admission. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. California Indian Museum & Cultural Center. 5250 Aero Dr., Santa Rosa. cimcc.org. Mozart’s Swan Song. Performed by Sonoma State University Symphonic Chorus & Santa Rosa Symphony. $24–$87. Dec. 7 & 9: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 8: 3 p.m. gmc.sonoma.edu.

Monday 9

Friday 13

A Glorious Noel: Petaluma Chorale

Posada Navideña. Dancers &

Holiday Concert. $12–$15. Ages 11 & younger: free. Dec. 9: 7:30–8:30 p.m. Dec. 14: 3–4 p.m. United Church of Christ. 825 Milldefield Dr., Petaluma. petalumabaptist.org.

musicians will perform a traditional Christmas processional & Mexican holiday songs. $5–$10. $2 lap pass for ages younger than 2 available only on day of show. 7 p.m. Luther Burbank

FREE Handmade Holiday Crafts Fair. Featuring

90 artisans & live entertainment. $3 admission fee for both days. Dec. 7: 9 a.m.–5 p.m. & Dec. 8: 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Finley Community Center. 2060 W. College Ave., Santa Rosa. srcity.org. Cotati Shop & Stroll. Santa,

carriage rides, arts & craft vendors, local businesses & hot-food booths. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Along Old Redwood Hwy. between Page St. & W. Sierra in Cotati.

Santa Photos All Season Long!

Sunday 8 FREE Hands-On Chanukah.

Dreidel-spinning contests, marshmallow-dreidel decorating, candle making, a free gift raffle & live entertainment. Free admission when you say “Hands-On Chanukah” at the front desk. 10 a.m.–noon. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org. Heritage Homes Holiday Lighted Parlor Tour. Touring historic Petaluma

homes built 1870–1910. $20. Ages 12 & younger: $10. 5–8 p.m. Petaluma Historical Library & Museum. 20 4th St., Petaluma. parlortour2019. brownpapertickets.com.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

Santa will be here all day every day through Christmas Eve.

Visit our Facebook page for Santa Photo Hours 733 Coddingtown Center, Santa Rosa 527-5378 www.Coddingtown.Shop December 2019

SonomaFamilyLife 27

Center. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. lutherburbankcenter.org. The Nutcracker. Featuring the Petaluma School of Ballet & North Coast Ballet. $28–$31. Ages 12 & younger: $21. Dec. 13: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 14: 1:30 & 6:30 p.m. Dec. 15: 11 a.m. & 3 p.m. Sonoma State University. Evert B. Person Theatre. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. petalumaschoolofballet.com. Sebastopol Holiday Home Tour.

Spend day touring decorated homes & historic Pleasant Hill Christian School. Proceeds benefit the school’s scholarship fund. $35–$45. Kids: $10. Dec. 13: 6–9 p.m. Dec. 14: 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Pleasant Hill Christian School. 1782 Pleasant Hill

Rd., Sebastopol. sebastopol holidayhometour.weebly.com. Danú: An Emerald Isle Christmas.

Featuring fiddle, flutes, button accordion, percussion, pipes, Irish dancers & singer Nell Ní Chróinín. $25–$75. 7:30 p.m. Green Music Center. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. gmc.sonoma.edu.

Saturday 14

Holidays on the Northern Frontier.

Living history, crafts & live music. Donations accepted. 4–8 p.m. Sonoma State Historic Park. 36 E. Spain St., Sonoma. sonomaparks.org. Disney Junior Holiday Fun.

FREE Wreaths Across America.

There will be ceremonies to honor veterans across America. Local events take place at Santa Rosa Memorial Park & Cloverdale Cemetery. 9 a.m. wreathsacrossamerica.org.

11th Annual

Breakfast with Santa. Food, activities & photos. 9–11 a.m. Santa Rosa Plaza. Center Court. 1071 Santa Rosa Plaza, Santa Rosa. simon.com/mall/santa-rosa-plaza.

Celebrate the season with festive activities. Disney character appearances are not part of this event. 9–11 a.m. Center Court. Santa Rosa Plaza. 1071 Santa Rosa Plaza, Santa Rosa. simon.com/mall/ santa-rosa-plaza.

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28 SonomaFamilyLife

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

Gingerbread Doghouse Workshops.

Assemble & decorate Snoopy’s gingerbread doghouse. Pre-K & up. $25–$32 adult/child pair or, in the case of older kids, just one individual. $10 each additional child. Dec. 14 (parent & child, pre-K & up): 10 a.m.–noon. Dec. 14 (grades K–6): 1–4 p.m. Dec. 15 (grades K–6): 1–4 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. Advance registration required: schulzmuseum.org.

this event; see sonomacounty.libcal. com for branches/times.

Sunday 15 Pet Photos with Santa. 6–8 p.m.

Center Court. Santa Rosa Plaza. 1071 Santa Rosa Plaza, Santa Rosa. simon. com/mall/santa-rosa-plaza.

Make a Holiday Table Centerpiece.

Weave fresh foliage into a table centerpiece. Materials & tools provided. $10 or 2 for $15. Dec. 15 & 22: 10 a.m.–noon. Artful Arrangements. 205 Orchard Ln., Penngrove. Register: artfularrangements.org.

Kids’ Night at the Museum. Pizza, games, cartooning & holiday crafts. Ages 5–10. $25–$32. Siblings: $20–$27. 5–9 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. Advance registration required: schulzmuseum.org. The World Goes Round. A

cabaret-style revue featuring tunes from Cabaret, Chicago & other Broadway shows. $30–$45. Fridays & Saturdays: 7:30 p.m. Sundays: 2 p.m. Cinnabar Theater. 3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. cinnabartheater.org. FREE Holiday Market at Chimera.

Art, jewelry, crafts & homemade goods. 2–7 p.m. Chimera Arts & Maker Space. 6791 Sebastopol Ave. #180, Sebastopol. chimeraarts.org. FREE Santa Fly-In. Santa arrives in a helicopter. Open cockpits to climb into, face painting & chance to sit on Santa’s lap. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. One Air Museum Way. Santa Rosa. pacificcoastairmuseum.org. FREE Holiday Tamale-Making Workshop. Taught by a traditional

Mexican cook. Leave with tamales to finish cooking at home. 4–5:30 p.m. Healdsburg Library. 139 Piper St., Healdsburg. Other libraries will host www.sonomafamilylife.com

December 2019

SonomaFamilyLife 29

Starhawk Winter Solstice Ritual.

Community celebration of the coming of winter with music & dance. No drugs or alcohol. Sliding scale: $10–$50. 6:30–9 p.m. Ritual: 7 p.m. Sebastopol Community Cultural Center. 390 Morris St., Sebastopol. seb.org.

Wednesday 18 Secret Santa Marathon. Fill the Secret Santa wishes of those in need. Dec. 18 & 19: 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Montgomery Village. 911 Village Ct., Santa Rosa. mvshops.com. Disney Junior Holiday Party. $45

& $59. $5 lap passes for ages younger than 2 available day of show only. 6:30 p.m. Luther Burbank Center. 50

Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. lutherburbankcenter.org. Santa Rosa Mothers’ Club: Holiday Crafts. A festive holiday crafts session

with the Memory Care & Assisted Living residents at Brookdale. Register by Dec. 11. 4–5 p.m. Brookdale Chanate. 3250 Chanate Rd., Santa Rosa. srmc46.wildapricot.org.

Friday 20 Irving Berlin’s White Christmas.

Musical performed by the Apprentice Program of Roustabout Theater. $16–$26. Dec. 20 & 21: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 21 & 22: 3 p.m. Luther Burbank Center. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. lutherburbankcenter.org.

Nutcracker. Performed by the Santa Rosa Dance Theater. $25–$31. Dec. 20: 7 p.m. Dec. 21: 2 & 7 p.m. Dec. 22: 2 p.m. Spreckels Performing Arts Center. 5409 Snyder Ln., Rohnert Park. 588-3400. spreckelsonline.com. Willy Wonka. Peformed by the Young

Actors Studio. $18–$40. Fridays: 7 p.m. Saturdays & Sundays: 1 & 4 p.m. Runs thru Dec. 29. Luther Burbank Center for the Arts. 50 Mark West Springs Rd., Santa Rosa. lutherburbankcenter.org. Salsa Navidad with Spanish Harlem Orchestra. Two-time Grammy– winning salsa & Latin jazz band performs. $25–$55. 7:30 p.m. Green Music Center. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. gmc.sonoma.edu.

GIVE THE GIFT OF RIDING LESSONS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!

• Gift certificates available. • Year-round riding lessons 7 days per week for riders age 5 & up. • Handling & caring for horses. • Horse safety & proper grooming. • 2 lovely indoor arenas for riding on wet winter days.

Join Our Community Apple Blossom Elementary School

Our mission is to nurture our students’ creative and critical thinking, academic proficiency, global awareness, appreciation for diversity and respect for themselves and others in a continually changing technological world.

Grade levels: K-5 • Small class sizes: K-3 (18-20), 4-6 (24-26) Interactive, project-based learning • On-site pre-school Before and after-school care ART, MUSIC, GARDENING, SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY & PHYSICAL EDUCATION

The Art of Academic Excellence 100 Lynch Road • Petaluma 707-799-5054 • www.stridesridingacademy.com

30 SonomaFamilyLife

707.823.1041 www.twinhillsusd.org

700 Watertrough Rd. Sebastopol, CA, 707.823.6278 twinhillsusd.org

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

The Nutcracker. Performed

by Sebastopol Ballet. Complimentary pre-matinee Sugar Plum Parties, featuring sweet treats & the opportunity to meet cast members. Advance: $17–$27. Door: $20–$30. Dec. 20: 7 p.m. Dec. 21: 11 a.m. & 4 p.m. Dec. 22: 11 a.m. Analy High School. 6950 Analy Ave., Sebastopol. (Arrive 30–45 mins. early to allow time for parking & ticket purchase.) sebastopolballet.com.

FREE Winter Crafts. Celebrate

the dark time of the year with candle-making & greenery. Crafts included. Grades K–6. 2–4 p.m. Sebastopol Library. 7140 Bodega Ave., Sebastopol. Other libraries will host this event; see sonomacounty. libcal.com for branches/times.

Monday 23 FREE Holiday Puppet Show: The Boy Who Cried Wolf. All-ages puppet show for the whole family. 11 a.m.– noon. Rohnert Park–Cotati Regional Library. 6250 Lynne Conde Way, Rohnert Park. Other libraries will host

Saturday 21 RockSober Nights. Recovery,

fellowship, dancing, poetry & improv. Featuring the Happys, Paul Hayward & Chris Holbrook. $10–$20. 7–10 p.m. Phoenix Theatre. 201 Washington St., Petaluma. eventbrite.com. FREE Nature Hike. Slow-paced, 1-mile hike along the lower Montini Preserve Trail. All ages welcome. Noon–1:30 p.m. Sonoma State Historic Park (meet at the Vallejo Home parking lot). 363 3rd St. W., Sonoma. sonomaparks.org. Holiday Gift-Making Workshop.

Make photo holder, lavender bath bombs, sugar scrubs & more. Ages 5–12. $25–$32. 10 a.m.–1 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln., Santa Rosa. Advance registration required: schulzmuseum.org. Santa Paws. Santa takes photos with dogs (leashed only). Suggested $5 donation. Proceeds raised support North Bay Animal Services. 11 a.m.–3 p.m. Hotel Petaluma. 205 Kentucky St., Petaluma. facebook. com/events/425107124782718.

www.sonomafamilylife.com

December 2019

SonomaFamilyLife 31

this event; see sonomacounty.libcal. com for branches/times.

Saturday 28 FREE Noon Year’s Eve Party.

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Craft, story & countdown to noon. 11:15 a.m.–12:15 p.m. Central Santa Rosa Library. 211 E St., Santa Rosa. sonomacounty.libcal.com.

Tuesday 31 Happy New Year, Charlie Brown!

Up-Down & Baby Balloon Drops at noon. Root beer & toast at noon & 3 p.m. Included in price of admission ($5–$12; free for ages 3 & younger). 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Charles M. Schulz Museum. 2301 Hardies Ln, Santa Rosa. schulzmuseum.org.

Winter Camp Wa-Tam

Keep the kids busy over winter break! (Age 6-12) Winter Wonderland 12/30/19-1/3/20 (No camp 1/1/20) 8am-3pm; Extended Hours Available

Activities include baking, arts and crafts, games, skits, a field trip and special guest!

For more info & to register visit SantaRosaRec.com or call 707-543-3737.

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Schools NEW 2019 CIRCUS HOLIDAY SPECTACLE An Old-Style Circus Based on the French Tradition of the 1920s

DECEMBER: 1, 7, 8, 14, 15, 21 & 22 SHOWS DAILY: 1PM, 3PM, 5PM CORNERSTONE SONOMA 23570 ARNOLD DR. SONOMA WWW.CIRQUEDEBOHEME.COM

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SonomaFamilyLife 33

Humor Break The Childhood Friend You Haven’t Seen in Years Even though you know she won’t judge you because she’s seen you at your worst (e.g. crying at that the New Kids on the Block concert), you’ll want to clean anyway. But despite your best efforts, you will still find yourself immediately confessing when she arrives, “I ran out of time to mop the floors!” Luckily, she’ll hug you and let you know that she does not care at all, and you’ll know she’s telling you the truth.

A Little Dirt Won’t Hurt

A Practical Guide for Holiday Housecleaning

By Meredith Ethington

he holidays bring visitors and that means getting out the mop and the vacuum cleaner. But just how clean does the house have to be? Refer to my handy guide for help:

with children, then he will just be glad a kid is not stepping on his face at 6:30 a.m. Clorox wipes in the bathroom and a few squirts of Febreeze are about all that’s required.

The Less than 24-Hour Notice Guest If someone is not nice enough to give you 24-hours notice, immediately lower your standards. Sure, pull out a set of clean sheets, but it’s OK to use the ones that are a little scratchy in the middle. Drop hints like, “Oh if you had let me know you were coming, I would have had my 3,000 thread-count sheets clean for you.” This may help avoid future sudden drop-ins.

The Sister Now, in general, I would say that no cleaning is required whatsoever if you are close with your sister. However, we know that sisters do secretly judge each other’s cleanliness, so you will probably want to go almost all-out anyway. Give the bathroom a proper washing and make sure the microwave is splatter-less, but don’t worry about the smudges on the windows. In the end, you know she’ll help you clean your stove if necessary, and she will, no matter what, come back. While she’s there, you’ll secretly wish you were allowed a sister-wife.

The Brother Brothers don’t care; they are fine with a pillow and a blanket. If your brother is married 34 SonomaFamilyLife

The Mothers This, the highest level of cleaning, is required when your mother or mother-in-law is coming to stay with you. You must wipe smudges off of windows, clean baseboards, and vacuum up those corner cobwebs that frankly you had never even noticed before. Most likely, you will fall over from exhaustion before you get to actually achieve the level of cleaning you’d like. It is, after all, totally out of the norm for you to check every surface for fingerprints. Since it’s impossible to actually finish everything you suddenly see through new eyes (i.e. hers) you will pray the entire time she’s there that she never has to lift up a couch cushion or look under a bed for anything. There are definitely more scenarios to consider, such as the visit from a friend of a friend or from a cousin. The best advice I can give is this: As soon as would-be-guests utter the words, “I’m going to be in town” blurt out, “Oh I know the best hotel just a mile from my house.” Trust me, you’ll thank me later. Meredith Ethington is the author of the parenting blog Perfection Pending (perfectionpending.net) and the book Mom Life: Perfection Pending.

December 2019 www.sonomafamilylife.com

give Extended Holiday Shopping Hours Monday - Saturday 10am to 8pm • Sunday 10am to 6pm Beginning December 15: Monday - Saturday 9am to 9pm • Sunday 9am to 6pm Christmas Eve - 9am to 5pm • Christmas Day - Closed

gifts

Wednesday, December 26 - 9am to 6pm

enjoy

Santa and Mrs. Claus

play

Now through Sunday, December 22, Santa and Mrs. Claus will be in their Photo Studio in Village Terrace every weekend from 11am to 3pm. All proceeds benefit local non-profit organizations.

Light Up A Life

Thursday, December 5 • 5pm to 6:30pm Please join us at Santa’s Village in Village Terrace for the Heartland Hospice Tree Lighting Ceremony and help to light up lives, cherish memories and celebrate our community.

give

The Secret Santa Marathon

gifts

Wednesday, December 18 • Village Court While wrapping up your holiday shopping and enjoying the strolling entertainment, help us fulfill every last Secret Santa wish from our neighbors in need. For more information about Secret Santa, call 707.573.3399.

give gifts

enjoy play

Chanukah Festival

Sunday, December 22 • 4 pm in Village Court The Chabad Jewish Center invites you to Celebrate Chanukah. Join us for a Menorah Lighting Celebration. Hot Latkes, Live Music, Dreidels, Gelt, Prizes and More. For information, call 707.577.0277.

The Gift of Endless Choices

Montgomery Village Gift Certificates are redeemable at all stores and restaurants in the Village. Plus if you purchase $100 or more in Gift Certificates at the Village’s Management Office you will receive a See’s Candies Certificate (good for 1 pound of See’s Candies, while supplies last). For details or to pre-order, call 707.545.3844.

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