APRIL 2013
• A MONTHLY PUBLICATION FOR THE STUDENTS OF NORTH SHORE COMMUNITY COLLEGE, DANVERS, LYNN, & BEVERLY, MASSACHUSETTS • •READ THE PENNON ONLINE AT: NORTHSHORE.EDU/PENNON•
“THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS,” ENDS.
Page ∞
JENNY, FOUND PAGE 867-5309
NSCC PRESIDENTIAL CANIDATE
PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE: PRESIDENT OF NSCC Page 9 3/4
MEANING OF LIFE Page 42
The Ending of Pi Page π
BY LYDIA WAHL, EDITOR IN CHEIF
Head Master Professor Albus Dumbledore
North Shore Community College President Wayne Burton is retiring. With many prospects in mind, it is hard for students to know who has the student bodies interest at
heart. One candidate that you may not have known about is: Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, former headmaster of Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Campaign slogan: “We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” Dumbledore made these promises: “...Make sure that no student runs afoul of the dementors.” “...Your stay here will be both comfortable and enjoyable.” “...Strong bond of friendship and trust.” “I am not going to come quietly at all.” “...Establishing ties between young witches and wizards of different nationalities.” “...Personally be ensuring that
Dumbledore’s Former School
no underage student hoodwinks.” These promises, Dumbledore says will be “taking up much of the teachers' time and energy - but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely.”
The Pennon got an exclusive interview with Dumbledore to see just what he envisions for the school: "I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks...One can never have enough socks...Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a pair. People
will insist on giving me books." I, for one, would love to have a president who makes sure I have warm socks. When asked about his resignation from his former school he replied “no comment.” From what The Pennon could find it does not appear to be in great shape. However, Dumbledore has had continued issues with campus security. “Clearly fame isn’t everything.”
April Fools From The Pennon
THE PENNON CONTINUED ON PAGE 2