TIBETAN MARRIAGE: rite and culture
INTRODUCTION: There are many Tibetans living in different parts of South Asia. They have their own unique culture and traditions.
Marriage and family systems take many different forms. Wedding ceremonies and customs are also different depending on geographical location and social cultural background.
Tibetans belong to the Tibeto-Burman ethno-linguistic community.
GEOGRAPHIC DISPERSION of the TIBETAN COMMUNITY:
Geographically, the Tibetan community is scattered
from
Himalaya ranges in Gilgit-Baltistan, Pakistan
to
Burma
(Myanmar), and to Tarim in
Basin-Silk-road
Xinjiang
Uyghur
Autonomous Region of China.
TIBETAN COMMUNITY IN CHINA:
China
Within China, the Tibetan ethnic group spreads over Tibet Autonomous Region (TAR) and outside the TAR, in Qinghai, Gansu, Sichuan and Yunnan Provinces in China. Tibetan community is widespread. However, they share similar cultural traditions.
TIBETAN COMMUNITY OUTSIDE OF TAR: Qinghai Province (Kokonur) • Huangnan Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture
•
• •
• Hainan Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture • Yulshul Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture
•
• Haibei Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture
•
Garzê Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture Ngawa Tibetan and Qiang Autonomous Prefecture
Gansu Province: •
• Golog Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture • Haixi Mongol and Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture
Sichuan Province:
Gānnán Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture
Yunnan Province: •
Diqing Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture
TYPES OF TIBETAN MARRIAGE CUSTOMS:
Different types of Tibetan marriage systems exist depending on ethnic and social group background
We find all of the following marriage customs in the Tibetan community at present. • Monogamy • Polygamy
•
•
Polygyny
•
Polyandry
Endogamy •
•
Cousin marriage
Walking marriage
FAMILY: (BZA’-TSHANG) In the matrilocal and patrilocal systems,
the
daughter-in-law
(bride, mna’-ma) and the son-inlaw (groom, mag-pa) live with their parents and grandparents, respectively, as a joint family.
MATRILOCAL RESIDENCE (MAG-PA) Matrilocal
residence
(mag-pa)
is
practiced
generally when there is no male offspring in the wife’s family.
However, some regions in eastern Tibet have this practice when the parents prefer the daughters to stay with them. In such cases, the wife has more authority in the family than the husband.
POLYGAMY (SA-SUM) (POLYGYNY, POLYANDRY)
Research has stated that among marriages of Tibetans, “the most common arrangement is ‘Sa-sum’, it is a unit consisting of three spouses, regardless two females with one male or two males with one female, the last pattern is more popular” (Miller, 1987:338).
The patterns of polygamy, especially polyandry, is a unique aspect of Tibetans family building. In Engels’ work Origin of Family, Private Property and State (1884:58), he discussed “polyandry in Tibet” as a special type of marriage.
Miller, B. D. 1987, “Status of Women in Tibet”, Translations of Tibetan Studies in the West, Volume 3, Lhasa: Academy of Social Sciences of Tibet, pp.328-344. (in Chinese) Engles, F. 1884, The Origin of Family, Private Property, and the State, (English version), London: Laurence and Wishalt.
POLYGAMY (SA-SUM) (POLYGYNY, POLYANDRY) Tibetan polygamy has these 2 basic types: o Marriage with the wife’s sister(s) (sororal polygyny) or, o Marriage with the husband’s brother(s) (fraternal polyandry).
POLYANDRY
The elder brother has the decision-making power to choose the bride. All children are officially in his name. He is the head of the family.
Sometimes a younger brother decides to be a monk or may decide to go out on his own and start his own family.
The wife may or may not know which brother is the father of a particular child. She may or may not say who the biological father is.
Polyandry
“In several areas of Lithang (Sichuan Province), women must wear silver hairpins. One hairpin means one husband. If people see a woman with three or four hairpins, they know she is married to several brothers” (Chen Qingying, 1995:418). Rolf Alfred Stein described marriage patterns of Tibetans in his work “La Civilisation Tibetaine”. He believed that “the most typical marriage type seems to be polyandry. It is popular almost anywhere in both agricultural population and herdsmen, it just did not appear in Amdo (Qinghai)” (1982:93).
Chen Qingying, 1995, studies of Tibetan tribe systems, Beijing: Chinese press of Tibetan studies. (In Chinese) Stein, R. A. 1962, La Civilisation Tibetaine. (Chinese translation, 1982, Lhasa: Academy of Social Sciences of Tibet).
RINCHEN LHAMO AUTHOR AS BEST REMEMBERED AS THE AUTHOR OF WE TIBETANS (SEELEY SERVICE, 1926).
Her book is remarkable because it is one of earliest accounts of Tibetan life and culture written in English by a Tibetan. It is certainly one of the fullest accounts too. She even ventures to make comparisons between what she has seen and experienced of life in Tibet and life in the West.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF TASHI TSERING, A TIBETAN EDUCATOR , STUDIED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON, HE RETURNED TO TIBET IN1964,
Author discusses, in America when he introduces about himself and his family as polyandry family having two fathers, he found it very difficult to let them understand that Tibetan do have practices of such family system. The problem of understanding the value in different cultural background.
Polyandry
http://www.thomaslkellyphotos.com/STOCK/NEPAL/P olyandry-Humla-Nepal/i-xMKvDTB
Tsewang’s five sons, Rinchhen Pau, 23 , Sonam Rinchen, 12 , Rinchen Angdu, 8 , Jigme Rinchen, 6 , Rinchen Dorje, 5, sit at their polyandrous marriage ceremony. Their wife to be is Urgen Bhuti, age 15.
Humla, north-west Nepal
POLYGAMY IN HIMALAYA REGION
Polyandry
The marriage of brothers married to one wife often happened to aristocratic families. The marriage of sisters married to one man often happened to poor families. Also, polyandry is widely practiced in the Himalaya region based on the principle of “Bsa’-gsum” (Couple of three). Polyandry is well-regarded within local communities for family-building.
https://www.gyanibaba.in/2016/07/in-these-indian-families-all-the-brothers-share-one-wife-just-like-the-pandavasdraupadi/
COMPLEX CASES OF POLYANDRY: Sometimes, though very seldom, the husbands and wives are not bloodrelated. Father and son share one wife, or, mother and daughter share one husband: “A man has the right to marry the daughter from his wife and her former husband. In general, a man married the widowed woman with a young daughter” (Chen Qingying, 1995:419). This is known as “informal union”. Chen Qingying, 1995, Studies of Tibetan Tribe Systems, Beijing: Chinese Press of Tibetan Studies. (In Chinese)
Polyandry
The studies of Tibetan aristocratic marriages by Professor Nakane Chie also confirmed that “divorce, remarriage, polygamy and polyandry are popular cases” (Nakane, 1992:343).
Nakane Chie, 1992, “Nobles in Tibet”, Translated Papers of Tibetan Studies abroad, Volume 9, Lhasa: People’s Press, pp. 336-388. (in Chinese)
ENDOGAMY AND COUSIN MARRIAGE IN BONPO CULTURE Cousin marriage was a popular custom of Tibetan Bonpo culture, a pre-Buddhist tradition in Tibet. This is basically clanization (Tib: Rus and Hin: Gotra), the apical ancestor endogamous practice of marrying within a specific social and ethnic group. It often differentiates between matriarchal and patriarchal parallel and cross cousins. A parallel cousin is a cousin from a parent's same-sex sibling, while a cross cousin is from a parent's opposite-sex sibling.
COUSIN MARRIAGE IN MONPA COMMUNITY (A.P.)
After introduction of Buddhism into Tibet, Buddhist culture discouraged cousin marriage as immoral and this practice has been reduced. However, cousin marriage is still practiced in certain regions: some parts of South and Eastern Tibet, Bhutan, and Arunachal Pradesh, India.
COUSIN MARRIAGE IN BHUTAN
The people of eastern Bhutan claim their lineage from Lhasey Tshangma (Tibetan prince) and speak Tshanglakha.
They
also
practice
cross
cousin
endogamy.
Sergamathang, literally 'golden cousin‘, is one's female cross cousin. It is compared to amassing coveted gold.
Contrarily, parallel cousins are regarded as equal to children of one’s parents and must not be married each other. This incest rule however holds for even cross cousin marriage in western Bhutan.
Lham Dorji, Sergamathang Kothkin and other Bhutanese Marriage Customs; Monograph Series No. 3, May 2003 Thimbu : The Centre for Bhutan Studies ISBN 99936-14-08-4
MOSUO: WALKING MARRIAGE
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mosuo_women
o
The Mosuo Tibetan ethnic group live in the East Himalayas in Yunnan and Sichuan provinces of China.
o
The land of the Mosuo people is known as the ‘Kingdom of Women’ because of their matrilineal society.
o
Other Tibetans refer to Moso country as ‘The Country of Daughters’.
MOSUO: WALKING MARRIAGE
Singer Namu was born and raised in Moso community. She wrote of the unique matrilineal Moso culture, with its "walking marriages“ where women take as many lovers as they want and the men continue to reside in their mothers' homes. There is no word for father and property is passed on from mother to daughter. Young Mosuo are brought up by their mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and uncles. https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/yang-erche-namu/leaving-mother-lake/
MOSUO: WALKING MARRIAGE
o The Mosuo men practice Tisese which translates as walking marriage in Chinese. However, the Mosuo term literally means �walking back and forth�. o Women have the choice to invite men of interest to their private sleeping room. If the man does not reciprocate this desire, he may simply never visit the woman's household. o Sexual activity occurs only by mutual consent and mostly through the custom of the secret nocturnal 'visit relationships. The man will spend the night and walk back to his mother's home in the morning.
RELIGIOUS MARRIAGE
Tibetan marriage forms discussed are not religious. These were developed out of given socio-economic conditions that originated from the pre-Buddhist Bonpo culture of Tibet.
The Buddhist view considers marriage a secular affair and as such, it is not considered a sacrament. While the ceremony itself is civil, many Buddhists obtain the blessing from monks at the local temple after the marriage is completed.
Marriage Astrology is practiced wherein advice is sought for the couple’s zodiac sign matching and wedding dates are finalized etc.
MARRIAGES RITES
Pang-den: the bride’s costume consists of multicolor cloth in horizontal lines and symbolizes marriage in Central Tibet. But it is not same to all Tibetan ethnic groups.
Da-dar is basically an arrow wrapped with five color ribbons. It is put on the bride’s back by the groom when marriage is formalized.
Khata is a traditional ceremonial scarf used for celebration or greeting.
Chang is a barley, millet or rice beer offered as sweet drink during marriage proposal by elders.
Khata Da-dar
Chang
Pangden
MARRIAGES RITES ď ą
Parties from both bride and groom will be celebrated at both places with songs and music.
ď ą
Historical accounts of the community and family of the bride and groom are narrated. Food, tea, and special dishes are served.
LAMA and UPASAKA MARRIAGE o
Exceptionally,
there are some Tibetan
Lamas (Monks) who marry and hold family. In these cases, the monk gives up his ordinance and Vinaya vows in becoming a layman. o
o
UpÄ saka is a layman who is not a monk but still is a powerful Buddhist practitioner. Some
Tibetan Royalty Wed in Boulder
are great scholars.
https://newwest.net/main/article/tibet an_royalty_wed_in_boulder/
Also, there are Avatara lamas who are heads
of
large
monastic
orders.
They
practice both family life and monasticism.
POLYGAMY, ENDOGAMY, AND MOSUO: MAJOR FORMS OF MARRIAGE
Polygamy A
Endogamy B
• Polygyny • Polyandry
• Cousin Marriage
Walking Walking Marriage Marriag C C
• Mosuotisese
CONCLUSION 
Tibetans practice various forms of marriage and family-building, mainly polygamy (polyandry and polygyny) and endogamy (cousin marriage).

Tibetan marriage customs are not religious but civil ceremonies. However, some monks do marry and raise family.
धन्यववाद।
ཐཐ གས་ །ལལ ་གསར་ལ་བཀཀ ་ཤཤ ས་བདད ་ རར ་ཆད ད །
༄༅། ལད གས།།
February 14, 2018 at
Happy losar! Ngawang Tsepag, LOC, American Center